Original subtitles

Good morning, Mr. basset.

This is your wake-up call.

Please move your ass.

Stampede!

Stampede, Earl!

Get out of the way! Get out of the way!

You dumb shit.

I was in a stampede once.

- Three hundred head going... - Hell-bent for the horizon.

Now, exactly how many cows are required for a stampede, Earl?

I mean, is it like three or more? Is there a minimum speed?

I wish a stampede up your ass.

No breakfast?

I did it yesterday. It was baloney and beans.

No. It was eggs.

I did eggs, over easy.

The hell you did.

Baloney and beans. It's your turn.

Well, I guess when I'm your age,

I'll forget what I eat, too.

Oh, goddammit!

I ask you, is this a job for intelligent men?

Show me one. I'll ask him.

I mean, if we were real serious about money, we'd quit being hired hands.

Handymen, Earl. We are handymen.

Yeah, yeah. We should quit this job and find ourselves some real employment.

Are you gonna give up all this personal freedom?

I don't know.

Freeway!

So, what's on the agenda for today?

- It's garbage day. - Oh, man! Already?

Hey, what's nestor paying us?

50 bucks. And that's 47 bucks more than we got.

Burt and Heather's place is closer.

Let's do their linoleum today and do the garbage tomorrow.

Nestor's not home tomorrow.

Now, look, we don't dig today, we don't get paid today.

Now, dammit, Valentine, you never plan ahead.

You never take the long view. I mean, here it is Monday,

and I'm already thinking of Wednesday.

It is Monday, right?

Hey, who the hell's that?

That's not what's-his-name, the grad student?

No. He graduated. Must be the new one.

The new one?

That's supposed to be a girl.

You will have long, blonde hair, big, green eyes,

world-class breasts, ass that won't quit,

and legs that go all the way up!

Hi!

I'm Rhonda. Rhonda lebeck. I'm up here for the semester.

Yeah, geography.

Geology.

Yeah, well, actually seismology. Earthquakes.

And you two must be val and Earl.

- I've heard all about you. - We deny everything.

Hey, listen, I've got a question for you.

Do you know if anybody's doing any drilling or blasting

or anything like that?

Around here? No, ma'am.

Well, I'm supposed to monitor the seismographs.

You know, they measure vibrations.

Vibrations in the ground.

Yeah.

Well, I've been getting some really strange readings.

I mean, the school's had these machines up here for three years,

and we've never recorded anything like this.

Well, we'll ask around. You know, see if anyone's heard anything.

Thanks.

God, I hope they're not broken. I might have to bag the whole semester.

Anyway, sorry to bother you.

No problem.

Nice meeting you. Hope you get it all sorted out.

You know, if you wanted, we could take a look at those, uh...

Seismographs for her if you want.

What the hell do we know about seismographs?

Nothing.

It sure might be a slick way to get to know her.

Why?

Dammit, Valentine.

You don't go for any gal unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.

- Well, sure! - Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end.

I mean, like that Bobby Lynn Dexter.

Tammy Lynn Baxter.

It don't matter. They're all the same, dead weight.

"Ooh! I broke a nail!"

Makes my skin crawl.

Well, I'm a victim of circumstance.

I thought you call it your pecker.

Hey, pizza face!

Melvin? Melvin!

Touch that truck and die.

Oh, man, I'm really shaking.

Thanks, Walter.

Look, these are hollow points, but they're not hydrashok hollow points.

Excuse me, I thought bullets were bullets.

Hi, guys. What you been doing?

We ran into that new college student, that rona.

Rhonda.

Yeah, she's having trouble with her, uh... uh...

Uh, things.

You know, those college kids turn up oil or uranium or something out there.

Next thing the feds will be at our door.

"Sorry. Time to move. Eminent domain."

- Down, honey. Down. - Yeah, Burt.

The way you worry,

you'll have a heart attack before you get a chance to survive world war lll.

We'll see. We'll see.

Hey, guys, listen. Bearing going out.

- What do you think? - Could be.

Uh, catch you later, Chang. We got a schedule to keep.

Oh, yeah. See, we plan ahead.

That way we don't do anything right now. Earl explained it to me.

Cocktail?

You bet.

Well, I'll tell you.

Nobody handles garbage better than we do.

Yep.

Oh, come on, Earl. Now, this is low.

We have got to set our sights a little bit higher.

Hey, Melvin, why don't you give us a hand?

Most of this shit is yours anyway.

Listen, run down to the store and pick me up a six-pack. I'll pay for it.

Son, beer is for adults.

You know, not having a plan is what keeps us doing jobs like this.

Just doing jobs like this is you dragging your feet.

Are you gonna stand there and tell me, in broad daylight,

that I'm the reason we're still in perfection?

You know how close I am to leaving this place right now?

I'll call that little bluff.

How close?

- Oh, shit! - Goddamn!

Jesus Christ!

Goddamn!

What are you bringing that vacuum cleaner for, man?

- I like this vacuum cleaner. - Hell, you never use it.

Well, it's good for parts.

And besides, maybe we'll hire a maid. Now, had you thought about that, Earl?

Get in the truck.

Guys!

Hey, guys, wait!

Hi.

Sorry, Nancy. We're not delivering firewood anymore.

- We're heading for Bixby permanent. - Oh, sure.

Oh, my god, you really are!

Hey, mindy, what's the count?

Six hundred and forty.

Guys, look, I don't need firewood.

I have this big order to fill, and I have to build my new pottery kiln.

Come on, it'll be at least a month's work.

I'll throw in lunches.

And beer.

I can't believe we said no to free beer.

We did it! We did it! We faced temptation and did not bend!

Goddamn! Praise the lord!

Now there's nothing, and I mean nothing, between us and Bixby but nothing!

- Yeah! - Yeah!

Hey, look at that guy!

Oh, that's one job I'd never do. Working around electricity.

Hey, hold up.

- That's Edgar deems. - Come on.

No. He only wears that one damn jacket.

That's him, I'm telling you.

Man, oh, man, he sure must've been drunk this time.

Edgar, get your butt down from there!

Well, shit.

Can't leave him up there.

Thank you, Edgar.

You owe me on this one, you damned old boozehound.

One of these days, you're gonna have to get your ass on a wagon

and stay there.

Jesus! It's not like I don't have better things to do

than to climb towers and drag your hairy ass down.

Jesus!

Was it a heart attack, doctor?

No.

He died of dehydration. Thirst.

Well, that doesn't make any sense. That takes a couple of days, doesn't it?

Maybe even three or four.

You mean he sat up there three or four days?

He sat up there and just died of thirst?

Hmm.

You reckon he hated perfection more than us?

Do you suppose he wanted to kill himself?

Come on. Somebody must've chased him up there.

What, you mean someone who ain't scared of a Winchester rifle?

Then what'd they do?

Camp out down below and just wait for him to die?

What the hell?

What the shit?

Hey, Fred!

Hey, there, old Fred!

Hey, Fred!

Fred! Fred!

- This is weird. - This is real weird.

- Jesus! - What the hell's going on?

I mean, what the hell is going on?

Everybody get the hell out of here! There's a killer on the loose!

- What? - A murderer, man! A real psycho!

He's cutting people's heads off.

I'm not kidding!

They're pulling our chain.

Yeah.

What?

Shit.

Howard! Howard!

Carmine?

- Who could be doing it? - I'm not accusing anybody.

I'm just saying, some of my cattle are missing.

- Come on, you're bullshitting me, right, pal? - What happened to Fred?

No worse than Edgar.

- What happened to Edgar? - You won't believe it.

Here, I need one of those candy bars.

I don't believe this. The phone is dead.

- Walter, your phone is dead! - I didn't do it.

Nestor, what's happening?

- Somebody killed old Fred. - What should we do?

- What's going on? - Now, look, val,

you gotta get to Bixby, and you gotta get the police up here.

And you gotta step on it.

Consider it stepped on.

Man...

We decided to leave this place just one damn day too late, you know?

Well, there's sure as hell nothing to stop us now.

Everybody we know between here and Bixby is already dead.

Look out!

Is there some higher force at work here?

I mean, are we asking too much of life?

Where the hell are these guys?

What are they doing? Blasting?

Hey!

Where are you guys? It's not like there's another road, asshole!

Val! Val!

Jesus! I don't believe this!

You're hung up.

I am not!

You're hung up, I tell you!

You're gonna burn the clutch!

You know, you could break an axle like that.

Could you shut up?

Hey, I don't need to spend the night out here.

Crybaby.

- Could it have been coyotes? - No way.

No. Coyotes didn't kill Fred.

Hey, it's val and Earl.

They couldn't be here already.

- Thought you two were in Bixby by now. - You are never gonna believe this.

- Mom! - Oh, my god!

- Oh, Burt, be careful. - Eww, it's unreal.

Where'd you get it?

I didn't know we had it.

- It's disgusting. - Some kind of snake?

Looks more like an eel to me.

Eels live in the water, don't they?

Big mother slug, maybe.

- Don't touch! Don't touch! - Relax.

It's dead.

Hey, it must've grabbed us! That's why the truck stalled out.

Next time I tell you I'm not hung up...

Hey, wait. This stalled out your truck?

It'd have to be one strong son of a bitch.

Stinks, too.

I'll give you boys $5 for this.

$20.

- Ok, $10! - $15.

- Ok, $15. - Damn right, $15.

I don't believe you guys.

Could be a snake!

Some kind of mutation.

Yeah.

Whatever it is...

Just one of these couldn't eat up Fred and his whole flock of sheep.

So you think there are more of them out there?

I'm dead.

Let's put this stuff up in the morning.

Uh-uh.

We have to go to Bixby in the morning.

- The cinder blocks are in. - Oh, the cinder blocks.

Oh, my god!

Just keep looking at that beautiful sky.

That's the sky that's gonna be over our roof every night when we're done.

What if we don't finish the roof?

Then we can look at the sky all the time. Huh?

Oh, that damn thing.

Maybe it's time we buy a new generator, huh?

It's gone!

What do you mean, "it's gone"?

You sure this is where it was”?

It was right here! There's the cord.

Hold this.

Yeah, maybe the ground caved in.

There's a lot of mines and stuff around here.

Well, don't, then. You don't wanna fall in.

Let's go.

God, what is that stink?

You hear that?

Come on. Come on, let's just go.

Let's go back to town or something. Please, Jim!

Maybe it's a geological thing, something like natural gas or a geyser.

They stink like that.

Remember in yellowstone?

- Jim! - Something's got me!

No, Jim, nol

something's got me down here!

Oh, Jim!

Oh, god! Oh, god!

Get something! Get something! Get me out of here!

Jim!

Something's got me. Oh, god!

Please get me out!

Help me!

Jim!

- J they're tuning those twin Texas fiddles - Oh, my god!

J it'll soon be holding time

j I'm in such an easy mood

j it's close to 4/4 time

j all alone at a table for two

j just me and the candlelight

j shuffle with me, Houston stranger

j it's a cowboy lovin' night

j my last good time was in Dallas... j

Mindy, smile.

Come on, honey. Don't look so afraid. It's not gonna hurt you, I promise.

- Mindy, look up. Smile. - Come on.

Hold it.

Melvin, get out of there!

Can I get down now?

Old Chang, slick as snot, and I ain't lying.

Fifteen lousy bucks.

A man who plans ahead...

Look, we arm ourselves, we set perimeters, we stand guard.

Any of those snake things show up here, we make them extinct.

- Alright! - Come on, Burt, get serious.

Yeah! You make it sound like a war.

What have you people got against being prepared?

- Where's the sugar? - Rambo.

Wait a minute, Walter's got a cb radio. Why aren't you calling somebody in Bixby?

- The police... - Oh, no.

We can't reach outside the valley because of the mountains.

Oh...

Melvin, you're next. Come on. Sit down, look scared.

- Ok. - Yeah.

The phone's out. The road's out. We're on our own.

You two are just loving it, aren't you?

Come on, Nancy. Let's don't get personal about this thing!

- We gotta do something. - Hell, yes!

We are completely cut off.

We got the cliffs to the north, mountains to the east and the west.

That's why Heather and me settled here in the first place.

Geographic isolation.

Well, there's gotta be some way we can get help.

For god's sake, this isn't the moon!

What are you gonna do, walk the 38 miles to Bixby?

Hey, there's Walter's saddle horses.

That's it. You're welcome to them.

Somebody could ride to Bixby.

That's not bad. That's not bad.

Who's best on a horse?

Walter, they better be fast.

We don't wanna be stuck on a couple of canners.

Those snake things couldn't travel that fast.

Shit, for all you know, they could fly.

Here, what do you want? This Colt or Edgar's old rifle?

Rifle.

Hey, Earl. Here's some Swiss cheese and some bullets.

Thanks, Walter.

- You guys all set? - Well, ready as we'll ever be.

Heather and I are gonna drive around.

We'll see if we can find that college girl, tell her to get her ass back into town.

Good idea.

We'll swing by the doctor's place and see if they went into Bixby or not.

Hey, wait a minute, guys.

Y'all gonna have to take something that packs more of a punch than that 30-30.

Why don't you take one of our Browning autos?

Or better than that, why don't you just take my model 707?

It's .375 h&h mag.

Thanks, Heather.

Well, I hope we don't need to use it.

It's got me!

- Melvin! - Grow up!

Dammit, Melvin!

He's only kidding.

You came that close.

Too close.

No more games.

Melvin, one of these days somebody's gonna kick your ass.

Doctor?

Man, I hate this shit.

Wait a minute.

The car's gone.

We just missed them, that's all.

Where the hell's the goddamn golden oldie coming from?

- What the hell's this? - You got me.

Ok, here's the plan. We don't even stop. We ride like hell.

Tonight we'll keep right on going. We'll walk the horses.

That is the plan.

I mean, god damn, what the hell are those things?

And how could they bury a whole station wagon?

Why would they do it?

Come on, boy! Come on, git, git!

I knew it!

Walter wouldn't know a decent horse if it came up and bit him in the ass.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. They got wind of something they don't like.

Git.

Something's going on here.

I don't see anything anywhere!

Hey!

- Hey, you ok? - Yeah, yeah. What about my horse?

What in the name of...

That's how they get you.

They're under the goddamn ground.

Well, what the hell are they?

Sons of bitches!

Must be a million of them!

Nope. Just one.

Come on.

He's gaining on us!

Look!

We can make it! We can make it!

Fuck!

Stupid son of a bitch.

It knocked itself cold.

Cold, my ass!

He's dead.

We killed him.

We killed it!

Fuck you!

Hey, guys. What's going on?

Did you notice anything weird a minute ago?

I mean, it just hap...

What's that?

Alright, together. One, two, three.

Jesus Christ!

Does it smell like that cos it's dead?

I don't see any eyes.

Must be totally subterranean.

And those tentacles...

Yeah.

You know, I think they... Shoot right out of its mouth,

and they hook you and pull you right in.

Good thing we stopped it before it killed anybody else.

Look, this is important, you know.

This is like...

Well, let's just say it.

This is probably the biggest zoological discovery of the century.

Hey! Hey, check this out.

I found the ass end.

Jesus, we really caught something here.

- Wow! - Man!

That's one big mother.

This must be the old boy had your seismos working overtime.

Yeah.

Yeah, it must push itself along with these.

All of them pushing at once.

That's why it moved so fast.

I mean, this thing had sensors tripping all over the place. No...

Hey, Rhonda, you ever heard of anything like this before?

Oh, sure, Earl. Everybody knows about 'em.

We just didn't tell you.

Oh, hell, man, no one ever saw anything like this!

We're really onto something here.

I'll tell you one damn thing -

old Chang don't get his slick mitts on this for no measly 15 bucks.

You got that right.

Alright, here's the plan. We need a flatbed.

Yeah, right, with a winch.

Yeah, five-ton maybe.

No, no, no, no, don't wanna winch it. Don't wanna winch it. It'd tear it all up.

- Alright, a crane? - Yeah, a crane with lifting straps.

Hey. Hey, shut up.

The way I figure it, there are three more of these things.

What?

Three more?

I've got seismographs all over this valley.

Now if you compare the different readings... Here's one at two o'clock yesterday.

But here's one three miles away at the exact same time. Now that's two.

- But here... - Yeah, yeah. We'll take your word for it.

Yeah, where's your truck?

Just beyond that hill.

What? What?

Damn prairie dog burrow.

Little sons of bitches.

Psst! Psst!

This way!

Up on that rock!

Looks like the one that grabbed our truck.

- Where the hell's your truck? - It's right over there.

Oh, man, I don't think we can make that.

At least he can't climb.

Oh, man!

Live ones smell worse than the dead ones.

Phew!

I got it. I got it.

They're mutations caused by radiation.

Or no, no, no.

The government built them. Big surprise for the Russians.

Well, there's nothing like them in the fossil record. I'm sure.

Ok, so they predate the fossil record.

That would make them a couple billion years old.

And we've just never seen one till now. Right.

I vote for outer space.

No way these are local boys.

Well, haven't seen a sign for hours.

Must be long gone.

Yeah, must be.

Hey, why don't you take a little stroll and find out?

We gotta do something.

"We gotta do something."

I don't know why "we" always has to be "me" every damn time.

We, we, we. What do I look like? An expert on worms?

Watch it, Valentine, it's got a good six-foot reach.

Thank you, Earl.

Son of a bitch!

Son of a goddamn bitch!

Pardon my French.

Shit! It's been waiting here all this time?

I mean, how's it know we're still here?

Well, it's got no eyes, right?

Sure as hell can't smell us underground.

I say it's been listening.

Of course!

It senses seismic vibration.

It can hear every move we make,

especially on this rock, it's a perfect conductor.

That means we're stuck. That pisses me off!

Well, I hate to be crude, but I gotta take care of some business.

- Me, too. - Same here.

Thanks.

Oh...

No problem. Anytime.

Well, what's the plan?

I think the first thing we gotta do

is see if old stumpy's still out there.

- Can I borrow that shovel? - Yeah.

Doesn't he have a home to go to?

That's why Edgar never got down off that damn tower.

I think I have an idea.

You know... we're gonna have to come up with some sort of plan,

he's just gonna wait us to death.

- Yeah, I was thinking... - Why don't we just make a run for it?

We outran him yesterday.

Run for it? Running's not a plan.

Now running's what you do when the plan fails.

Valentine, you're not even trying to think of a plan.

Well, it ain't like we got a hell of a lot of options.

There's always options. We just gotta think of them, that's all.

Alright, well, why don't you start thinking?

Why in the hell do I always have to do all the thinking?

Who died and made you Einstein?

You guys know how to pole vault?

We just stay where he can't get us...

On these residual boulders.

My truck's parked right next to one.

Stay on those residual boulders!

That Tammy Lynn Baxter, she do much pole vaulting?

Shit!

That's pretty good.

That slimebag ain't gonna give us much time once we hit that truck.

- I say we all jump together. - Right.

Wait.

Ok, ready.

One, two, three!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Watch it, val!

Move! Move!

Uh, could somebody perhaps help me?

- Burt! Heather! - No! No! No!

The snake things are just their tongues or something.

These animals are huge!

I'm sorry. I'm having a real difficult time with this.

Come on, you guys, answer. Come back.

Hey, Walter. Where's Burt and Heather?

I can't reach them.

I guess they're still driving around somewhere.

Hey, Rhonda, what's the name you call those things?

Where do they come from? Huh?

I don't know.

You're a scientist, aren't you?

Yeah, aren't you supposed to have a theory or something?

Look, these creatures are absolutely unprecedented.

Yeah. But where do they come from?

Yeah!

It doesn't matter where they come from.

No name? Hal

we discovered them, we should name them!

Walter, forget the damn name!

Now, me and Earl think we better get the hell out of this valley.

Hang on, val. Let's not go off half-cocked.

Yeah. Well, somebody's bound to come check on us,

once they see the road is out and the lines are down.

Yeah, that's how it works.

Or "suckoids"... "Oids".

Qoids. I like snakeoids.

One of them comes near me, and I'll just hit him with a five-pound pickax.

No. You don't understand, nestor.

They come up from underneath the ground and they grab you.

They sense the slightest vibration through the ground, even footsteps.

That's how they hunt.

Hey, so like we don't vibrate, right?

Maybe they won't even come through here.

Maybe they'll leave us alone!

Chain saw. That's what I'll use.

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Wake up!

Now, look!

You see, they're headed right for us.

Look, they trapped Edgar here, grabbed old Fred right here,

nailed those two poor suckers on the road,

and the doctor's place is right here!

Now this valley is just one long smorgasbord.

We have got to get out.

I'm gonna go get mindy.

Oh, she's ok. I saw her playing down the street.

That's what I like, "graboids"! That's it, graboids!

Jesus, Walter.

We're gonna be sorry if we don't give it a name.

Ok, val, you say let's get out of here.

So where are we supposed to go?

Well, Rhonda's got an idea about that.

Yeah, see, they move very easily through the pleistocene alluvials.

The dirt.

The loose soil that covers the valley floor.

But they can't move through rock.

So I think we should head west to the mountains.

She means up the old Jeep trail.

If those mountains are solid granite, we'd be safe there.

And we could hike along them all the way to Bixby if we...

Ugh!

I scared you, didn't I?

You little ass wipe.

You don't knock it off, you're gonna be shitting this basketball.

Pardon my French.

Mindy!

Mindy!

It's gonna take us days to get back with help, nestor.

We're not gonna leave you alone.

- Dammit, I'm gonna kick his ass! - I'm gonna help you.

Melvin!

Where is that little shit stain?

Melvin, get your...

Get inside! Get inside!

Run! Come on!

Come on, get in!

Jesus Christ, Walter, you got a gun?

- No! What are we gonna do? - Be quiet, quiet, quiet!

Where is he?

Now remember, no noise, no vibrations.

Oh, no, mindy.

Stop, stop.

Mindy, get off the pogo stick.

- Mindy! - Mindy!

- Get her, val! - Mindy, come back! Mindy!

On!

Mindy.

Shh! Quiet. Quiet. Don't move.

Mindy, get back. Get back.

Run! Get in the house!

We gotta get him off. It'll suck that truck down.

Go back for Christ's sake!

Jesus, here comes another one!

Run! Come on! Come on!

Get out of your pants!

Look out!

Run! Run!

Run! Don't look back. Come on! Come on!

Sorry.

Rhonda, here.

Oh, thank you.

So, what are we gonna do?

You know, how long till they go away?

They got the Patience of job.

They sit and goddamn wait

till they hear something that sounds like lunch.

- We gotta have a plan. - I got a plan.

You and val drive the truck up to the mountain,

walk to Bixby, get some help.

Walter, those scumsuckers ate our radials.

Well, you can take my truck.

No, we need a major four-wheel drive just to get up that Jeep trail.

Nah! That trail's all messed up.

Turn it off.

Pull it back. Pull it back.

1 got it.

Walter! Grab him!

Give me your hand!

Oh, shit!

Son of a bitch.

Son of a bitch!

Come on, let's go! The roof!

Come on!

- Jump, girl! You can do it! - No, I can't! I can't!

Argh!

Rhonda! Don't stop. Keep moving!

Oh, my god.

Hey!

You ok?

Hey, what's going on? Where are you guys?

What's up, man? What the hell are you doing up there?

Melvin, shut the hell up.

- Get up on your roof. - No way!

Nestor?

Nancy, get up on your roofs.

Up on your roofs! They come through the floor!

Oh, I don't know. I can't believe it.

No tracks.

No sign. No spoor.

You'd think after eating all those sheep, they'd have to take a dump someplace.

Yeah. I don't understand it.

"Yo, Walter, this is Burt. Come back.

"Walter? Anybody copy?

"I'm waiting.

"Walter, you there? Come back!

Ok, I got it.

"Yo, who's minding the store, for god's sake?'

Burt, listen.

We found out what's been killing people.

- Say "over." - Qver.

Negative copy on that, Walter. Check your frequency.

I'm on 22. Come back.

'Burt, can you hear me now? Over.'

val, is that you? What are you doing back already?

Hey, Burt, something real weird is going on over there.

They're up on top of the roof.

Hey, I think they're going for Burt's.

Oh, man, they're going!

Burt, get out of your basement.

Take your radio. You and Heather get up on your roof.

We'll talk later. Ok? Over.

Up on the roof? Val, what are you talking about?

Dammit, Burt. Just listen to him. Something's wrong.

'Burt, Jesus Christ!"

Get up on your roof! The things!

"They're under the ground.

"They're bigger than we thought. They're huge.

"They're coming right after you guys. They're coming right now!"

We don't see anything, val.

What the hell are you talking about? Over.

Burt, they're under the ground. They're under the ground.

"They can dig like a son of a bitch. Big monsters!

'Underground! Now get out!

"Hurry!"

'Jesus chri..."

Burt, come on.

- Magazine! - Yeah!

Heather!

Broke into the wrong goddamn rec room, didn't you, you bastard?

'We killed it! You got that? We killed that motherhumper! Come back.'

well, Roger that, Burt. And congratulations.

Be advised, however, there are two more.

Repeat, two more motherhumpers.

Burt got one! He killed one!

Way to go, dudes!

Alright!

Yes! Yes!

Well, I guess we don't get to make fun of Burt's lifestyle anymore, huh?

Say, Burt?

'Any chance you can get the other two? Come back.'

yeah. One second, pal.

You didn't get penetration even with the elephant gun.

Shit!

Good lord!

Val, we can't get them.

'I never figured on having to shoot through dirt.

"The best goddamn bullet stop there is. Come back.'

let me see that.

Burt, listen. Forget shooting them.

Tell me this. Can you get to your truck?

- 'Over.' - No problem.

'Good, cos you have the only truck in the valley that can get up that Jeep trail.'

now listen. Here's the plan.

You and Heather go for help.

- You get to the mountains, you keep going... - Guys! You guys!

- Look. - Hang on a sec.

He's up to something.

Well, if it isn't our old pal, stumpy.

Bastard.

Hey, Rhonda. What do you think it's trying to do now?

Why do you keep asking me?

What the...

Gee! Wow.

What the hell was that?

'Breaker there, Earl. What did you want us to do? Come back.'

hang on, Burt. This bastard's trying something new.

Qver.

On!

They wasn't making no noise.

Why is he bothering them for?

Well, it's like it's studying the buildings, trying to figure them out.

They can feel our vibrations but they can't find us.

Looks to me like they're coming up with a plan.

Watch it, nestor!

Jesus!

Shit! Enough!

Get off the ground, nestor! Get moving!

Get out of there! Get off the ground!

Move it! Move it!

No, nestor. That's no good. Come on, you gotta get higher.

No way! No way, man!

No! You guys gotta do something!

You gotta do something!

'Burt, Heather?"

Yeah, you got us, val. Come on back. Over.

'Listen, we're in deep shit over here.

'We'll have to change that plan.'

- Burt, cut it out! - I think I scared him.

'No use going for help.

"We'd be dead long before you'd ever get back.'

ok, val, we're with you. Just tell us what you wanna do.

'Over.'

yeah, well, this one's gonna tear this town out from under us.

We're all gonna have to get out of here together, now.

Ok, val.

We're coming after everybody. Just hang tight. Over.

Look.

"Val, you're gonna have to forget about the truck.

Yeah, we got you, Heather.

Now, look. The situation hasn't changed.

We still have to make it to solid rock.

There's gotta be some way.

Like what?

There's nothing left that can make it to those mountains.

Hey, val. Quiet, man.

It doesn't matter now. They know we're here.

Oh, shit! We need a helicopter is what we need.

Or a goddamn tank!

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. The cat!

Could we take the cat?

Oh, Jesus. It's slower than hell.

Yeah, but it weighs better than 30 tons. There's no way they could lift 30 tons.

- Could they? I mean... - But we can't all fit on the bulldozer.

No.

No, but we could drag something, though.

We could pull a car behind it. I don't know.

Hell, that old semi trailer.

Its tires are flat.

Doesn't matter. That cat can pull anything.

Well, alright.

We just roll on out of here.

We've got a plan!

Of course, that's a hell of a long walk.

Listen, they only respond to vibration, right?

Well, couldn't we distract them somehow?

Yeah. Good.

Something to keep them busy, like a decoy.

Hey, Melvin, you wanna make a buck?

- Eat it! - How about the tractor?

Walter's little tractor? Start him up.

Let him go out by himself.

Let those things follow him all over if they like that noise.

Not bad. What do you think?

- Ground's getting closer, Earl. - Yeah.

I say we go with Miguel's plan.

Just hold on, Nancy!

- I'm making the run for the cat. - Like hell you are.

- Get real, Earl. I'm faster than you. - But I'm best at driving the cat.

- Not while I'm around. - Look...

Dammit! Now listen to me. I'm older and I'm wiser.

Yeah? Well, you're half right.

Damn! I lost. Guess I'll have to do it.

I won. I pick who does it.

Ready when you are, Miguel.

There he is. There he goes!

He's chasing it. He's chasing it.

It's going.

This one's going, too!

- Good luck, shithead. - Don't worry about me, jerk-off.

Shit!

You suicidal son of a bitch.

Keep going!

Oh, my god! Oh, my god, oh my god!

Come on, come on!

They're gonna get him!

Val, stop! They're coming! Be quiet!

Don't move!

It worked. They can't find him.

Uh, we gotta, uh...

We gotta make some noise.

A lot of noise!

Hey, you sorry sons of bitches! Come and get my ass!

Come over here, you slime bucket! Come get me!

Come on. What are you, scared?

Come on, you snakeoids.

Come over here. Come on!

Hey, what's she doing?

That did it, girl! Goddamn good thinking.

- You ok? - Yeah. Oh!

Here goes.

- Here. - Yeah.

Goddamn!

- Burt! Heather! Let's get going! - Come on, let's move it.

Burt! Heather!

Come on, let's go, you two. We're headed for the mountains.

If that's how we're doing it, we're going prepared.

We can't hold still long.

These things are damn smart. They're getting smarter by the minute.

That's fine. We got some new things to teach 'em.

You see that?

They're doing it again. They try it every time I stop!

Come on, now.

Jesus Christ! We're only going nine miles.

Yeah, well, those things are gonna be on our ass every foot of the way, right?

Just hurry! Burt, Heather, what are you doing up there?

- Can't you see we're sinking? - Get in the trailer!

What do you think? Max firepower or this?

I go for penetration.

The .458, shooting solids. Less ammo to carry.

Come on, Burt. Move it!

Watch these ammo boxes!

- Come on, Burt! - Heather, hurry!

- Tell them to come on! - Ok, ok, now!

Now! Come on! Come on!

Hey, give me a gun. I'll take one.

I wouldn't give you a gun if it was world war ill.

Food for five years.

A thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, geiger counter,

bomb shelter.

Underground goddamn monsters!

Solid rock. Yeah!

Is there any sign of them?

Maybe they just gave up, you know?

Hey, what's that?

Dammit! What the hell are they doing?

I don't care what they're doing

as long as they're doing it way over there.

Wait, wait! Look out!

- Mindy! - Everybody stay here.

- Burt, you ok? - I'm ok.

Are they gonna get us? What happened?

- Burt, you sure you're ok? - Yeah.

- Earl, what happened? - What happened?

They dug a trap.

I can't believe this.

Alright.

Here.

Let me have my gun.

Hungry? Eat this!

Everybody down!

There they are!

- Did you get one? - I don't know.

No, there's still two of them. Look.

- There are two different dust trails. - Sure made them think twice, though.

What the hell's in those things, Burt?

A few household chemicals in the proper proportions.

Oh, here they come. They're coming back!

We'll have to make a run for those rocks.

I don't know, val. That's a hell of a long way.

Yeah, man, they'll get us!

They're sure as hell gonna get us if we stay here.

Hey, Burt! You have any more of those bombs?

We've got you covered, Rhonda.

Well, what if we throw one that way, the way that we wanna go?

Then when it explodes, I mean, if it drives them away,

we run like goddamn bastards.

Pardon my French.

What if they don't get scared? What if they don't run?

I don't think it does scare them. It hurts them.

They're so sensitive to sound, they gotta run.

Oh, hell, she's got my vote!

That's it! We're making a run for it!

- We're going for the rocks. - I don't know, man. They're too fast.

- You can't outrun them. No way! - Yo, Melvin.

This'll make them think twice.

Everybody ready to run?

Heads down!

- It worked! There they go! - Alright, let's go!

- Move. - There you go.

Here. Come on, Burt.

Alright! Here!

Oh, fuck.

Oh, Burt, you asshole!

Mommy!

Come on, mindy, get up. Get up.

Come on, Burt. Hurry!

- Get up here! - I'm with you, honey.

Go, go, go!

Burt, you asshole! There's no bullets in this gun.

Got you moving, didn't it?

So, now what?

Could we make it to the mountains, use Burt's explosives?

No way.

We'd need 50 of those bombs.

Well, that's it.

We're not getting off this rock.

Well... we're not gonna pole vault out of here.

That's for damn sure.

Wait a minute. What are y'all talking about?

It's like you're giving up or something.

They'll just wait out there till we're dead. That's exactly what they do.

Wait! Wait!

For Christ's sake, we could've made a stand at our place.

We had food, water...

You can't fight them like that.

So you two screw-ups hauled us way the hell out here?

Hey.

Hey, why don't you just back off, string bean?

You know, we could've left your worthless ass on the roof!

I wish you had, fearless leader.

- Who the hell put you two in charge? - Don't push me!

- Just back off, Burt. - Just don't goddamn push me!

- If them graboids don't kill him, I will. - What?

They'd have torn your place out from under you in half an hour.

Come on. Come on.

Just let it go. Let it go. Forget about it.

I know he does. He thinks he knows everything.

If it comes to starvation, I know what I'm doing.

Take one of these,

walk right out there with the fuse lit and let them take me down.

Boom.

Good lord, honey.

Now that's not a bad idea.

No, no. It gives me an idea.

Going fishing like.

There's one. Straight out in front.

Let's see if we can keep him right there.

Alright, how much we need?

I don't know. They're pretty quick.

Fifteen seconds at least.

What kind of fuse is that?

Cannon fuse.

What the hell you use if for?

My Cannon.

You guys watch yourselves.

Right out there about 30...

Oh, man. You're not gonna do your lasso thing?

Just cos you're no good with a rope.

Alright, get back!

Come on, baby.

Take it. Take the bait!

Yeah! Alright!

Look at it!

Yeah!

Alright!

Ok, one to go.

Damn! Where the hell is he?

Hope he didn't wise up.

No.

There.

Look who it is.

Give me that thing.

This son of a bitch is mine.

There it goes!

- Alright, get back! - 1 got it.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, lunchtime, slime head.

- Yeah! - Hey!

Alright, get down!

Oh, shit!

Oh, my god! It's...

- Get back! Get back! - Run!

Get up, come on!

What are you doing out there?

Ok, let's make some noise.

Try to distract him. Come on, everybody.

Fresh meat!

Wait, wait, wait.

This one's not falling for it.

This one ain't dumb.

He's trying to trick us.

Use your bomb.

It's our last one.

What else you gonna use it for?

So what if we make it to the rocks?

We'll be dead in three days anyway.

Well, I wanna live for the three days.

What the hell? What's the matter?

- Use the bomb, for god sakes! - Throw that bomb, man!

Scare him away!

Throw the bomb!

This bastard ain't smarter than us.

For Christ's sake, val!

- I'm gonna go for it. - Go for what?

- What are you doing? - I got a goddamn plan!

Where the hell is it?

I've got it!

This better be one hell of a great plan!

Get ready!

- Light it, man! Light it! - Not yet. Not yet!

Come on. What are you waiting for?

Go!

Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Too far! You threw it behind him.

Run, val! Run!

Yeah!

Can you fly, you sucker? Can you fly?

Well, it just suddenly hit me, you know.

Stampede.

Way to go!

Way to go, val!

Now...

The second we hit Bixby, we start making some phone calls.

I mean, we could make some real money on this thing.

We could get in "people" magazine.

"People"? Hell! "National geographic".

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Smile.

Hey.

Burt loaned me his camera.

Yeah. He gave us these tires, too.

It's all pretty exciting, huh?

There's gonna be major research, and I'm gonna be in on it.

Hmm!

The first thing to do is take some pictures of that one we dug up.

Yeah. Yeah.

Pictures seem like a good idea.

Yeah, well, thanks for everything, you know, saving my life and stuff.

Yeah, well, uh...

You're welcome.

- Maybe [I'll see ya sometime? - Uh-huh.

Well, see you.

I know. I know! I'm working up to it.

What am I doing?

I mean, what's a woman like her want with a guy like me?

She's going for her damn phd.

Rhonda?

- Yeah? - Well, I... I just wanted to...

J well, pardon me, but you've had my attention

j ever since you strolled into the room

j believe me that it's not my intention

j if I appear to come on too smooth

j it's not like me to make such advances

j but this time, baby, I could not resist

j so, if you're up for taking a chance on love

j I can't see a better time than this

j so, baby, why not tonight

j this could be the start of something right

j hey, we can take it easy

j we can take it slow

j we can take it anywhere that you'd like to go

j so, baby, why not tonight

j well, the stars are out, and I'm sure they'll agree

j oh, it's a perfect night for falling in love

j so, why not fall in love with me

j oh, maybe we could go out for some dinner

j and later on now we could do the town

j you know, I consider myself a winner

j just to have a boy like you around

j then if you're up for doing some dancing

j yeah, I know a place they dance until the dawn

j you know, anything you like will be alright

j so, why not take a chance and come along

j so, baby, why not tonight

j this could be the start of something right

j oh, we could take it easy

j we could take it slow

j we could take it anywhere that you'd like to go

j so, baby, why not tonight

j well, the stars are out, and I'm sure they'll agree

j now, it's a perfect night for falling in love

j so why not take a chance and come along

j so, baby, why not tonight

j this could be the start of something right

j so, baby, why not tonight

j yeah, the stars are out and I'm sure they'll agree

j now, it's a perfect night for falling in love

j so, why not fall in love

j why not fall in love

j baby, why not fall in love with me, yeah j