All language subtitles for The.Agatha.Christie.Hour.S01E09.Jane.in.Search.of.a.Job.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor1

Good morning,
Miss Northwood.

- Good morning, Miss.

I suggested as I would be
coming up this morning.

- Did you?

Oh, yes, you did.

- You know what
it's about, Miss.

- How many guesses?

- I'm not a grasping
woman, Miss,

but I can't live on thin air
no better than nobody else can.

- I know you can't, Miss
Northwood and I'm sorry,

but I simply cannot find a job.

Well, I wade through all the

situations vacant every morning.

And look.

One miserable boiled
egg for breakfast.

Oh, would I absolutely
lust after bacon

and sausage and potato
cakes and fried bread and--

- Just a couple of
pounds, perhaps?

- The truth of the matter
is, Miss Northwood,

that daughters of
country vicars are simply

not brought up to
do anything that

anyone will ever pay them for.

- Oh, dear.

30 shillings, then?

Well, I've
pawned just about

everything of value I possess.

- A pound, then?

- Ten bob, Miss Northwood.
- Oh!

- Well, it's all a I can
manage at the minute!

Who is it?

- Gosh, sorry!

- Well, I won't worry you
any more this morning, Miss.

- Perhaps today will
be my lucky day.

- Oh, I do hope so,
Miss, for all our sakes.

But your egg will be all
boiled if you don't watch it.

- Oh!

- I know it's not none
of my business Miss,

but have you ever thought
of getting married?

- Of course, I have,
Miss Northwood.

Trouble is, all the men I like

seem to be even
poorer than I am.

Well, I couldn't marry
for money, could I?

Or could I?

Come in, Mr. Guest.

- I'm sorry I barged
in like that I--

Oh, good morning,
Miss Northwood.

- Good morning, Mr. Guest.

How'd
you get on yesterday?

- The usual, blank.

The pig farm?

- Not a sausage
needed investment.

Well, the woman
advertised for a willing girl.

- It turned out to be a man.

- Oh, whatever next!

- Well, look, I've
just been looking

in the agony column
of the Times--

- Why were you looking
in the Aaony column?

- Well, because I always do.

Oh, in
the course of duty?

- In the, what do you mean?

- Well, wasn't I
once told that crooks

put messages in code
in the agony column?

Oh, you know the sort of thing.

Julia, always thinking of you.

Shall we meet on
Valentine's Day?

Meaning, meet me outside
the Bank of England

with dynamite and blow torches.

- Oh, I see.

Well, I'll probably
learn more about that

when I get to Hendon next week.

- I've never had a policeman
rooming here before.

- I'll only be a
cadet, Miss Northwood.

- Still, it might
come in useful.

- Now, I've come to
show you something

which suits you
down to the ground.

Listen.

If a young lady of
around 25 years of age--

- Well, that's a good start.

- Fair hair, good complexion.

- Well, that you have, Miss.

Go on.

- Straight nose.

- Straight-ish.

- A slim figure, height
around five feet five inches.

- Sort of.

- Well, you've certainly
got a slim figure.

- Oh, thanks, it's starvation.

Go on.

- Oh, uh, good mimic.

- What on earth does that mean?

- It doesn't say.

Able to speak French.

- Oh dear, that does it.

Well, as a matter of
fact I speak it rather well.

- Oh, good!

- Calls at number
30 Endersley Square

between the hours of
2:30 and 4:30 p.m.

- She may learn something
to her advantage.

Hello.

- Hello.

What a throng.

- Yes.

Do you know what it's all about?

- Not a clue.

But times is hard, as
they say, so who cares?

My name's Holly de Witt.

- Holly de?

- Witt, double I TT.

What's yours?

- Jane Cleveland.

- No, I mean your
professional name.

- Alas and alack, I
have no profession.

- Then what if this jamboree

turns out to be
for dancing girls?

- No getting job.

Do you?

- Do I what?

- Dance?

- If called upon.

There are other
things I do better.

- Like speaking French?

- Oh, heavens yes,
my second language.

Just brushing up.

Oh, good, they've been kicked
out, we can move up three.

- Excuse me.

- Next!

It is possible, mademoiselle,

that you are the person
for which we search for.

Good.

- Of course.

Yes, French good.

- What is the job, if
you don't mind me asking?

- I cannot tell you
that, mademoiselle, yet.

If you are chosen
then you will be told.

- But why all the mystery?

If it's something
I wouldn't dream

of doing, why all the catechism?

- Are you intelligent?

- Intelligent enough to be
careful what I let myself into.

Is it anything to
do with the stage?

Heaven forbid.

- Crime?

- Oh, come now, is that likely?

- Well, it's not for me to say.

- Do you have discretion?

- I have oodles of discretion
and tons of intelligence.

Anything else?

- Are you married?

- What has that
got to do with it?

- Will you permit me
to ask the questions?

- No.

- I beg your pardon?

- Well, no, I'm not married.

- Oh.

Engaged, perhaps?

Not even perhaps.

- You have a mother, a father?

- Yes, one of each.

Still alive?

- No.

- Then who is your next of kin?

- My next of kin?

Good heavens!

Am I liable to be bumped off?

- Oh no, no, no, it's just
an elementary precaution.

- Well, I don't see
why, particularly as

I have nothing of importance
to leave to anyone.

What is the fee for
this mystery tour?

- 2,000 pounds.

- Two?

Blimey.

For
two or three days' work.

- My name is Miss
Jane Cleveland.

My next of kin is Miss Northwood

who lives at 32A Handel
Crescent North W1.

- Alright, now I give
you your instructions.

You know Claridge's Hotel?

- Well, I know where
it is, I've never

actually eaten
there, worst luck.

- You are to go there and
ask for Count Streptitch.

This will ensure that
the Count will see you.

The final decision lies with
him and with one other person.

- I am Count Streptitch.

The good Colonel Kranin
has sent you here.

- Yes.

- I take his word that you
may possibly prove suitable.

Would you mind walking
to the door, please?

- Like a mannequin?

- No, no, no, just naturally.

And back again.

Princess Anna,

a moment please?

- She might do, better
than any of the others.

- I agree and Kranin has
passed her in French.

Miss Cleveland, this is the
Princess Anna Mikelovna.

Princess, Miss Jane Cleveland.

- How do you do?

And now, my child.

Do you have courage?

- I don't like being hurt,
if that's what you mean.

- No, no, what I mean is danger.

- No, no, no, I
don't mind danger.

- And you would like to
earn very much money?

- I would very much like
to earn very much money.

- Um, shall I explain
matters, Anna Mikelovna?

- No, Her Highness wishes
to do that herself.

- It is not wise.

- Nevertheless,
it is her command.

Wait here.

- Her Highness?

- The Grand Duchess
Pauline of Ostravia.

- I say, wasn't there
something in the paper

about her coming here,
a bazaar or something?

- That is true, in aid
of Ostravian refugees.

- Your Royal Highness, allow me

to present Miss Jane Cleveland.

- This is splendid, Anna!

Wonderful!

Come, let us see each
other side by side.

Oh, you see?

It's a good match.

- You are perhaps a trifle
taller, Your Highness?

- No, who would notice?

No, no, nothing could be better.

It is settled.

- Hang on a tick, I don't know

what I'm supposed
to be doing yet.

- True, I forgot.

I will tell her.

Leave us alone, both of you.

But, Your High--

- Go!

And do not argue.

And order some tea
for us at once.

Tiresome, these old people.

Now, Miss?

- Cleveland, Jane Cleveland.

- Do sit down.

- Thank you.

Now tell me,

do you know the
history of Ostravia?

- Not very well, I'm afraid.

- All my family are dead,
murdered by the rebels.

I am the last of my
line, but of course,

being a woman, I cannot
sit on the throne.

You'd think they would let
me alone, would you not?

- And don't they?

- No, they make my life a misery

wherever I go, the
vicious old brutes.

Oh, I see.

- I live in
semi-retirement in Paris,

but sometimes I
have to go abroad

to raise money for
my exiled countrymen.

- Like attending bazaars?

Oh, you
know about that?

- Yes, I read it in
the paper this morning.

- Well, that is to raise
money for Ostravian refugees.

Lady Enchester is
very kindly lending

me her house in Buckinghamshire.

- But I don't see where
I come in to all this.

- It is very important
that I should not

be assassinated in
the next few days.

- Assassinated?

Oh, you want me to--

Want you
to what, my dear?

- No, what were
you going to say?

- You want me to
take your place.

- Only at large public
functions, you understand?

Not in any intimacy.

- No, no, no, of course, not.

- Thank you, that will be all.

Now, to business.

- Um, what happens if I get
assassinated instead of you?

- Oh, there is a risk,
but it seems more probable

that they would rather
kidnap me and demand money.

Killing me would
make a martyr of me.

- Oh, I see.

- Of course, they
might throw a bomb.

Milk or lemon?

- Lemon, please.

I think we should discuss
the fee, don't you?

Ah,
I cannot remember

what Colonel Kranin suggested.

Sugar?

- Yes, please.

2,000 pounds.

- Is it enough?

Would you rather have 3,000?

- Oh, I'd rather have 3,000!

- I am so glad
you're businesslike.

Me, I have no head
for money at all.

What I want I have to have.

- Oh, I do so agree.

That's why I'd
rather have 3,000.

- And then, of course,
there is the danger.

Although you don't seem the
sort of girl to mind that.

- Within certain
limits, I suppose.

- You see, it is very
important for my country

that I should marry and
have, oh, at least two sons.

An heir to the
throne of Ostravia is
absolutely essential.

- Oh, and a spare.

What a quaint way of putting it.

And then, well,
after that it doesn't

really matter what
happens to me.

So, will you accept?

- Okay, I accept.

- Excellent!

Have a cucumber sandwich.

I have explained everything.

Miss Cleveland
will do as we ask.

- But can we be absolutely
sure she can play her part?

- For 3,000 pounds,
I will show you.

Excellent, Anna,
this is wonderful.

Come, let us see each
other side by side.

You see?

It's a good match.

- Yes, it will
deceive most people.

- Yes, yes, it is true.

- How clever you are.

I couldn't imitate
anybody to save my life.

Miss Cleveland is to
have 3,000 pounds.

- It will be seen to, Highness.

- Come, Miss
Cleveland, we must go

and try some of
my clothes on you.

Bring your tea.

Now this is what I shall
wear for the bazaar

at Orion House the
day after tomorrow.

Of course, it may not
be necessary for you

to take my place there,
but try it on just in case.

- Golly, I've never seen
anything so stunning.

It must have cost a fortune.

- I suppose so.

Yet, I envy you.

I am never allowed to
wear anything simple.

- Cheap, you mean.

- No, no, simple.

Sometimes simplicity can
be the height of chic.

- Perhaps one day it'll be chic

to have ladders in
one's stockings.

- And, of course,
if we do have to

change places at
a moment's notice,

I think you should be wearing
something quite different.

Don't you?

Yes, what
a clever idea.

- Perhaps a flame red marocain?

- Ooh, that would
be very striking.

And, of course, I must look
quite different, mustn't I?

Sort of old-fashioned perhaps,
spectacles or something.

- Excellent, excellent,

but let us hope it
will not be necessary.

There, oh, it's perfect!

Well...

- Yes, a shade too
long on you, but--

- I see you wear low
heels, Your Highness.

Do you always?

- Oh, yes, I cannot
abide the high heels.

- Could you show
me the shoes you

will be wearing for the bazaar?

- Yes, of course.

I love dressing up, don't you?

- Yes.

If you were to buy
the same shoes,

but with a higher heel,
that would even us up.

- Oh, yes, of course!

Now you're being clever.

What do you want?

Can't you see we're busy?

- Forgive me, Your Highness,
but Count Streptitch

thinks it advisable
that he should

book rooms for Miss
Cleveland at the Ritz.

- The Ritz?

Golly, how stunning, but do you
think it's really necessary?

- We think so.

- Oh, I agree and
we must also find

the reason for you to
be staying in London.

A different
name, perhaps?

- Exactly.

Count Streptitch
suggests a Mrs. Smith.

- Oh no, there'll be enough
Mrs. Smiths staying at the Ritz.

- Mrs. Jones?

Ditto.

- Mrs. uh, Mrs.--

- Mrs. Guest.

- Very well, we will
call you Mrs. Guest.

From?

- From New York.

- Golly, more mimicry!

- And then...

What are you?

- Thoroughly confused.

- Oh yes, of course,
we must find the reason

for you to be hanging
around close by.

- A photographer!

- I've got it, a journalist!

- Well done!

An American journalist
staying at the Ritz, perfect.

- This afternoon,
Miss Cleveland,

you will buy anything you need

in the way of
clothes and tomorrow

you will move into
the Ritz Hotel.

- What about the wherewithal?

- The um, the wherewithal, what?

- Dummkopf!

The money to buy the clothes!

- Yes, of course.

100 pounds.

- For dress, shoes,
gloves and bag.

- Exactly.

- Thank you.

At the same time I shall
need an advance on my fee.

- But, surely until you've
actually done something--

- Oh, for heaven's
sakes, Streptitch,

give her some more
of the wherewithal!

- Thank you, Your Highness.

Oh, 200 pounds should
prove sufficient.

So I beetled off to Norman
Hartnell's and bought this.

I love red, don't you?

Oh, and what about these shoes?

Tres slinky.

And this bag.

Oh, and what do you think of
this cheeky little titfer?

- Yes, well, great, swell.

- Your enthusiasm overwhelms me.

- Well, to be perfectly honest,

I'm not sure I like
the sound of it.

My dear chap, it
was you who put me on to it.

- Yes, I know, but I didn't
know it was gonna get--

Well, now you
want to take me off it.

Just
to be cautious.

- Oh, you policemen.

- I can only go by
what you've told me.

Did you ask to see
their credentials?

- If you're going to stoop
to old musical jokes.

- No, no, I'm serious.

- Oh, why shouldn't
they be genuine?

Well, it's all in
the papers about

the Grand Duchess of
Ostravia coming here.

Is she doing anything wrong
by using me as her double?

- No, but I have
a funny feeling--

- Oh, come now, Mr. Guest.

I thought policemen
were supposed to deal

with facts and figures,
not funny feelings.

- I'd just like you to look
after yourself, that's all.

- Well, as sure as my
name is, oh, good Lord.

What?

- Well, we had to
think of a made-up name

for my staying at the
Ritz and I said Guest.

Well, it was the first name
that came into my head.

- I'm flattered, Miss or Mrs.?

- Miss, of course.

- Well, I won't
hang about I just

wanted to see how
it went, that's all.

Hang on a tick.

- Well, now what?

- Well, I thought we'd...

I thought I'd celebrate.

Well, I had some moola left over

from my shopping spree, so...

Champagne, thought I.

No, no,
honestly, I feel I'm intruding.

- Oh, nonsense!

I'd be glad of some good,
solid English company.

- Is that a compliment?

- Oh, well, you
know what I mean.

After dealing with
floods of foreigners.

I mean, I thought at
any minute they'd break

into the White Horse
or Ivan the Fellow.

Oh, here, you have a go.

There's this bazaar
thing the Grand Duchess

is going to the
day after tomorrow.

Yes, yes,
it's well advertised.

- Well, they say there might
be an attempt to kidnap her.

- For heaven's sake, Miss
Cleveland, you could be killed!

- I've decided to take the risk.

I've told them I
don't mind danger

and think of all those fivers.

Oh!

Nigel, look out!

Mr. Guest, I mean.

- Nigel's fine.

- You see, I've never dreamt of

so much money in all my life.

- You haven't got it yet.

- Oh, why are you so depressing?

I shall get it as soon
as the Grand Duchess

is safely out of the country.

- Well, look, I think you should

let me look into
the whole thing.

I mean, you could obviously
be in some danger.

- All this knight errant
business is so old-fashioned.

You mean you
can look after yourself?

- Of course, I can!

I mean, well, I have
so far, haven't I?

- Fine, then I won't worry.

Good, swell, cheers.

- Cheers.

I also went to Lyons
Corner House and bought

something beginning
with F, food!

- A transformation, indeed.

- Do you think I'll pass?

I
scarcely recognized you.

- Well, I'm quite ready.

- I think it only fair to
tell you, Miss Cleveland.

- Mrs. Guest, Count Streptitch.

My name is Mrs. Guest and I
work for the New York Gazette.

- Yes, of course, Mrs. Guest.

Well, I think it only
fair to tell you,

Mrs. Guest, that late last night

we received information
that an attempt

to kidnap Her Highness
will almost certainly

be made this afternoon on
her way back from the bazaar.

- Then why don't I take her
place from the beginning?

- Because Her Highness and
Lady Anchester are old friends.

- But, how will I know when I'm
supposed to make the switch?

- At end of Her
Highness's little speech

you will step forward
and ask for an interview.

- But how do we change clothes
in the middle of the bazaar?

- The Princess Anna will
arrange that, you may be sure.

- Well, I'm ready
to be kidnapped.

- The address.

Orion House, Little
Missenden, Buckinghamshire.

I cannot, of course,
accompany you.

No, I do see that.

- I shall, naturally, be
with the royal entourage.

Of course.

- You will go to
Aylesbury by train.

- At the same time,
I think I should

have a further
advance on my fee.

I mean, you do owe
me over 2,000 pounds.

- Certainly, how
much would you like?

- Another 200, perhaps?

- Another 200.

But what if the plan
fails to succeed?

- It won't.

By the way, how do I get
the balance of my fee?

- Colonel Kranin
remains in London.

He will pay you.

- Marylebone station, please.

- Yes, ma'am.
- Thank you.

- Isn't the Grand
Duchess here yet?

- I think not.

- Have all those wonderful
pearls been collected?

Some days
ago, I believe.

- And in safe keeping, I trust?

I hear they're worth
more than 10,000 pounds.

10,000!

- There's something
happening now.

- Your Highness, may I
present Lady Anchester.

Your Highness, welcome
to Orion House.

- It is so kind of you to
throw open your lovely home

for the cause which is
so close to my heart.

- I have always wanted
to meet Your Highness.

We are both fighters in
the cause of freedom.

- My aide de camp,
Count Streptitch.

- Enchante.

- Enchante.

The Princess Anna.

- Enchante.

- And our London
representative, Colonel Kranin.

- Enchante.

- Enchante.

And now, Your Highness, allow me

to escort you around the bazaar.

You will be pleased to know
that sales are already brisk.

- What a beautiful old house.

The pearls are
already collected?

I believe so.

- It has been a most rewarding
and gratifying afternoon.

I cannot tell you
how pleased I am

that you have worked
so hard to alleviate

the terrible plight of
my countrymen and women.

I must give particular
many thank you's

to the hundred lady
friends of Australia

who have so generously
donated the gift

of one pearl from their
priceless necklaces.

And which, I am told,
will be auctioned

at the end of the day.

For me, alas, I must
pull myself away,

for I must be in Paris
early tomorrow morning

to attend a meeting
with the president.

.

- Princess Anna, I'm Mrs. Guest
from the New York Gazette.

I was wondering
if I could have a

few words with
the Grand Duchess?

- Yes, I remember you well
when I was in America.

So many kind things you have
written about my country.

My dear Lady Anchester,

I wonder whether it
would be possible,

a private room for
a couple of minutes?

- Why, of course, come with me.

- Now, as they say, fire away.

- You say you leave for Paris
this afternoon, Princess?

- That's so, on the night train.

Although I am desolate
to be leaving England,

a country that offers so much.

- You must come back again
very soon, Your Highness.

- How kind.

Continue, I have so little time.

- You have many
engagements in Paris?

- Yes, many meetings of the
Ostravian refuge committees.

- Yes, yes, of course.

- Continue.

- My dear Lady Anchester, you
are wanted in the tea tent.

- Oh, thank you, Princess.

Excuse me, Your Highness.

- No, no, no, I must
be seen with that!

- Oh, but--

- Quick, quick, off you go!

- Well, that's that.

I think I did rather
nicely, don't you?

- You played your part
with great distinction.

- Except I had to
leave my handbag

with the Grand Duchess
with all my money in it.

- You have no need to worry.

- We've turned
off the main road.

- Dear God, this must be it!

Stop, stop, stop!

- We must keep up
the pretense so as

Her Highness can get
safely out of the country.

- Out!

And then put up your hands.

- What is the meaning
of this outrage?

- Get out if you know what's
good for you, illustrious lady.

- That way.

Up there.

Left.

- Now, my lords,
ladies and gentlemen,

we come to the piece de
resistance of the afternoon.

In this bag you'll find
100 exquisite pearls.

Some of which are the almost
priceless black pearls.

100 pearls donated
by 100 wonderful

and compassionate ladies.

- Oh good, food.

I'm very hungry.

Still, no luxury
for aristocrats.

Will you begin,
Princess, or shall I?

- How could I
touch a thing until

I know my mistress is safe?

- Oh, well, I'll tuck
in if you don't mind.

I never got as far
as the tea tent

and I seem to be in
more danger than she is.

Not bad.

Princess, there's
something that puzzles me.

At the Ritz I
remember suggesting

to Count Streptitch
it might be simpler

if I doubled with
the Grand Duchess

from the beginning
of the afternoon.

He said that wouldn't
be possible because

the two ladies knew
each other very well.

I remember at Orion
House

Lady Anchester saying something

about always
wanting to meet her.

So they couldn't have
met before, could they?

Oh Princess, please don't cry.

Everything will be
alri--

- High bid 15,500.

600.

750.

16,000.

At 16,000 pounds.

At 16,000 and I shall
send, ladies and gentlemen.

Any advance on 16,000?

- Yes, I'll take them!

- What is your bid, madam?
- This!

No one move or I'll shoot!

No one move!

- No one move!

- The line must have
been cut, of course.

- Mr. Wilson, will you go at
once to the police station?

- Of course, Lady Anchester!

- Speaking from 52.

A Mr. Guest has reported
a robbery at Orion House.

No, no, he's not done
it, he's reported it.

He's starting at
Hendon next week.

Yes, that's right, la-dee-da.

- Do hurry!

- Well, from what I can make out

there's a Grand Duchess
what isn't a Grand Duchess.

There's a girl in
a red dress what

isn't in a red dress
and then there's--

What?

Well, I don't know what
she's wearing in that case.

No, she's only a--

Dupe, dupe!

- A dupe!

No, dupe!

How do you spell it?

Her name
is Jane Cleveland.

- J-A--

- Give me the phone, please.

Let me talk to your
Super quickly, please.

- Jane!

- Quick, Sergeant, there's
been a hold up at Orion House!

- Hear that?

It's being reported again.

- A girl in a red dress!

- The girl in the
red dress again.

- Nigel.

What's happened?

Oh, water.

- Terrible, blast it.

A fine policeman I'll make.

Oh, my head.

Water, anything.

- No, it's poisoned!

- Oh, my head.

I thought they'd all gone.

- Who are they?

Where's Princess Anna?

- She was part of the gang.

- How did?

Have I been dreaming?

- Afraid not.

You got pulled into
a brilliant crime.

Are you feeling okay?

- No.

- Nor me.

I've got to check
with the local police.

- Oh wait, you can't leave me!

- I'll only be 15 minutes.

- No!

- I thought you
didn't mind danger?

- Well okay, I'm a liar!

- You're perfectly safe.

The Ostravian lot
will be halfway to a
Chunnel port by now.

- 15 minutes, then.

- I promise.

- Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

May I ask where
you've come from?

- Orion House.

And going to?

- London.

- We have been attending
a bazaar in aid of, uh--

- Some rufugees from where?

- Ostravia.

- And you are?

- I am Monsieur le Gran
and this is my wife.

- And I am Monsieur Bleustan

of the Corps de Matique
and Madame Bleustan.

- Ah, you're French!

When you were at
Orion House did you by

any chance notice a young
woman in a red dress?

- Oui, that was a
young, how do you say?

Journalist in a red dress
and a little red chapeau.

- Ah.

And when did you
leave Orion House?

.

Auction?

- I believe a number of
pearls had been donated.

- And this journalist,
was she American?

- I would say that
she was and yet...

Yes?

- Something about her
accent was not quite right.

Of course,

it is very difficult
for us to tell.

- Of course.

Well, thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.

You've been most helpful.

A young woman, possibly
American in a red dress.

Merci!

Drive on.

Did you get all that, Sergeant?

- Oh no, I thought you were--

- We're the police, Miss.

We've been instructed
to pick you up

and take you to
the Superintendent.

- Oh, but I have
nothing to do with it.

The Grand Duchess
left this here.

Oh, hell, what am I saying?

- Come along, Miss,
everything's alright.

- May I see your credentials?

- It's not far, Miss,
the car's just outside.

- I did as you suggested,
lad, led them through.

Posing as Frenchmen,
but your descriptions

were so spot on there was
no doubting who they were.

- I hope it'll lead to
the arrest of the gang.

- Forces alerted
all down the line.

They won't get away.
- Nigel, Nigel!

Tell them, I've
tried to explain!

Oh, tell them!

- He's already explained, Miss.

Everything's under control.

Isn't there a
Grand Duchess of Ostravia?

- Kidpnapped, last week in Paris

and locked up in an old
lodge in the Ardennes.

The real Count
Streptitch managed

to escape 48 hours later
and raised the alarm.

- Then I'm no longer
under suspicion?

- No, Miss!

You and your boyfriend
can skedaddle.

Though you may be
needed as a witness.

Of course.

- Well done, young man.

You should do well at
the Hendon College.

- Thank you, sir.

- Off you go, the two
of you and good luck.

- Thank you.

- Come on.

Hold on tight.

- You were right, of course.

But honestly,
pinching all my money.

If you hadn't lent me
your last five pounds,

I'd never have got
out of the Ritz.

- You still have the
red dress and the fur.

- Yes, but I can't eat them.

Hungry?

Me, too.

- I hope they feed
you well at Hendon.

- I was going to ask
you to dinner, but...

But how could you
have known who was who?

I mean, you couldn't
have been that close.

- Well, I did notice
that when the so-called

Grand Duchess arrived at Orion
House she had low heels on.

But when she came out in exactly

the same outfit she
had high heels on.

So, I smelled a rat
and guessed it was you.

- Oh, thanks very much.

- Oh, you know what I mean.

- Yes, of course,
I do and I think

it was frightfully clever.

- Well, actually I was
brought up in the boot trade.

Yeah, my dad's a sort of
boot king in Northampton.

Well, he always wanted
me to go into the trade,

settle down, that sort of thing.

- What sort of thing?

- Well, marry and settle
down, that sort of thing.

- Oh, I see.

- But I always wanted to be
a policeman and settle down.

- Well, I think you'll
make a wonderful detective.

- Part of the job,
powers of observation.

- Oh, but you didn't
observe the man

behind you with the cosh.

- Absolutely correct, perhaps
a medium-good detective.

- No, that wasn't fair.

After all, you've
still got a job.

I'm back where I started.

- Not necessarily.

- Now, Mr. Guest, how long
do you like your eggs boiled?

- Three and a half
minutes, please.