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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,240 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:29,560 ...seven, eight, nine, ten, 3 00:00:29,595 --> 00:00:31,325 11, 12. 4 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,320 Excellent! Yes, you put your one in the tens and two in the unit... 5 00:00:34,355 --> 00:00:37,200 Don't be teaching him the wrong method. 6 00:00:37,235 --> 00:00:38,205 What d'you mean? 7 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,125 Well, they don't do carrying over like we used to do. 8 00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,480 They do traffic light method or something. Don't you, darling? 9 00:00:42,515 --> 00:00:43,520 Do you have a traffic light method? 10 00:00:43,555 --> 00:00:45,037 Yeah! God, no-one told me! 11 00:00:45,072 --> 00:00:46,485 Yeah, well, I'm just saying - 12 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,800 if you don't know what you're doing, don't confuse him, all right? 13 00:00:48,835 --> 00:00:50,040 God, I do know what I'm doing! 14 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:52,840 She's a bit mental. 15 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,965 Hey, the pair of ya! Cheeky! Go on, you know this. 16 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,360 Right, come on, do this one in your traffic light method, then. 17 00:01:00,395 --> 00:01:01,720 8 + 3. 18 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:06,445 8, 9, 10, 11. 19 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,020 Look at that! So clever. 20 00:01:08,055 --> 00:01:09,525 Smart, ain't he? Yeah. 21 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,280 You've got my brain in there, that's for sure. 22 00:01:11,315 --> 00:01:12,920 I don't know about that. 23 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,040 Connor, Mia, your breakfast is ready! 24 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,885 Mia! What?! 25 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,360 Breakfast! Just said I'm coming! 26 00:01:25,395 --> 00:01:26,400 Honestly... 27 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:28,725 Right, I'm off. 28 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,980 All right, lovey. You have a nice day, won't ya? 29 00:01:31,015 --> 00:01:33,200 And please will you bring me some carrots back? 30 00:01:33,235 --> 00:01:34,205 Just normal carrots? 31 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,440 Yes, normal carrots! What other carrots are there? 32 00:01:36,475 --> 00:01:38,120 Bye, Connor! Bye, Mia! 33 00:01:38,155 --> 00:01:39,125 What? 34 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,960 I said, "Bye!" Don't be late for school! 35 00:01:41,995 --> 00:01:44,480 I said I'm coming! 36 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,565 Mia! 37 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,800 What do you want, Dad? I'm having a wee! 38 00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:51,257 Stop it. 39 00:01:51,292 --> 00:01:52,566 Love you! 40 00:01:52,601 --> 00:01:53,840 Come here. 41 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,685 I love you. You too. 42 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:57,960 Have a lovely day. See you later. 43 00:01:57,995 --> 00:01:59,200 Bye, lovey. OK. 44 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,600 Mia! 45 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:14,840 Mum, can I get this dress for prom, please? It's lovely. 46 00:02:14,875 --> 00:02:16,680 Yeah, that's nice, that. Do you like it? 47 00:02:16,715 --> 00:02:18,085 Yeah. Nice. 48 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,760 Can I get it? Please? 49 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,640 £40? No chance! It's not £40, it's 38.99. 50 00:02:25,675 --> 00:02:28,365 What, on one dress? No, sorry. 51 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,965 Well, I know what, what if I get it for my Christmas box or something? 52 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,320 Er, Mia, you've got loads of dresses. You don't need another new dress. 53 00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,320 Mum, I've got loads of dresses, but they don't fit me! 54 00:02:37,355 --> 00:02:38,325 Please, Mum? 55 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,325 Look, no. No. Mum, please? 56 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,885 I've said no! Whatever, then! 57 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:44,000 Mia, don't walk away! Yeah, I'm walking away. 58 00:02:44,035 --> 00:02:45,520 What do you want me to wear, Mum?! 59 00:02:45,555 --> 00:02:46,760 Mia! 60 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,520 What flavour is that ice cream? 61 00:03:06,555 --> 00:03:07,925 Grandma's knickers. 62 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,800 You're laughing! No, I didn't! 63 00:03:09,835 --> 00:03:11,017 You are! I didn't. 64 00:03:11,052 --> 00:03:12,165 Yeah, you are! 65 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,085 You are. You are. I'm not. 66 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,320 Let somebody else have a turn. Right, go on. Go on. 67 00:03:16,355 --> 00:03:17,925 Right, Mia. Simple question. 68 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,840 What's white and pink with a big brown stripe? 69 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,720 Connor, right, you do one on Grandma. 70 00:03:25,755 --> 00:03:27,800 What do you keep under your bed? 71 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,160 Grandma's knickers. 72 00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:33,245 Grandma's knickers. 73 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,920 You're laughing! I'm not! 74 00:03:34,955 --> 00:03:36,437 You are! You are! 75 00:03:36,472 --> 00:03:37,885 You are! I'm not! 76 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,320 What do you brush your teeth with? 77 00:03:39,355 --> 00:03:40,485 Grandma's knickers. 78 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,400 What do you floss your teeth with? 79 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,240 Right, enough now. This floss? 80 00:03:45,275 --> 00:03:46,777 Eat your ice cream! 81 00:03:46,812 --> 00:03:48,245 With a straight face. 82 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:49,720 Show Grandad your straight face! 83 00:03:49,755 --> 00:03:51,400 Poker face! Woo-hoo! 84 00:03:51,435 --> 00:03:52,640 You go! 85 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,165 Yeah, sorry, um... 86 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,320 Yeah, I was hoping someone could help me with my pay monthly. 87 00:04:01,355 --> 00:04:03,720 I was...I was wanting to skip a payment and then... 88 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,520 Yeah, it's, er, Trevor Morbury. 89 00:04:07,555 --> 00:04:10,120 M- O-R-B-U-R-Y. 90 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:14,685 Yeah, no, I appreciate that. 91 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,165 Um, but obviously with Christmas coming up, 92 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,840 it's...it would be a very handy thing if I was able to, er... 93 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:27,400 Yeah, no, I've done it in the past and I know that it's been, er... 94 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,600 it's been something that you've been able to help me with, 95 00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:31,640 and I've paid double the next month, so is that...? 96 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,565 Grandma, there was an alien crash at school. 97 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,040 Was there? Well, I want you to go and wash your hands, 98 00:04:42,075 --> 00:04:44,080 cos there's a bug going round that school. Go on. 99 00:04:44,115 --> 00:04:46,285 And the teachers... 100 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,640 ...found these little aliens and they were really slimy. 101 00:04:49,675 --> 00:04:51,365 Was it? 102 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,125 Was that scary? 103 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,840 I asked her to take stuff! 104 00:05:04,875 --> 00:05:07,560 Have you washed them? Yeah. 105 00:05:07,595 --> 00:05:09,085 Good boy. 106 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,320 I made this car...card for Dad. 107 00:05:11,355 --> 00:05:13,760 Let's have a look. 108 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,285 Brilliant! 109 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,085 But I couldn't find any stars, 110 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:22,520 so I just did a round circle for...for...for a star. 111 00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:25,240 It's absolutely brilliant, Connor. 112 00:05:25,275 --> 00:05:27,005 He's gonna love that! 113 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:28,925 Is Dad coming home for Christmas? 114 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,920 Well, do you know? We don't know yet, sweetheart. 115 00:05:31,955 --> 00:05:33,325 We hope he is. 116 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,960 Right, why don't you go and get your coat off, and your shoes? 117 00:05:35,995 --> 00:05:37,440 Go and put them away, and I'll get your tea on. 118 00:05:37,475 --> 00:05:39,097 Do you want some spaghetti hoops? 119 00:05:39,132 --> 00:05:40,720 Yes, please! Right, go on, then. 120 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:54,645 Hiya! 121 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,040 Hiya, Mum, are you all right? 122 00:05:56,075 --> 00:05:57,485 Hiya. Hello. 123 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,680 Hey, how'd she get on? 124 00:05:58,715 --> 00:05:59,765 Yeah, very good. 125 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,605 I weren't very good. She was! 126 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:05,280 She got a bit flustered at that roundabout, but, er... 127 00:06:05,315 --> 00:06:06,920 Can't get me head round the gears. 128 00:06:06,955 --> 00:06:08,685 I can't work it. Can't do it. 129 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,520 It's a really hard roundabout, 130 00:06:10,555 --> 00:06:11,805 that one, in't it? Yeah. 131 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,925 It was heaving in town, weren't it? Yeah, it was, actually. 132 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,600 Everybody's gonna be doing their big shop about now, aren't they? 133 00:06:16,635 --> 00:06:18,320 People go mad, though, don't they? Yeah, they do. 134 00:06:18,355 --> 00:06:19,645 Thanks, Uncle Al. 135 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,400 Yeah, I'll see you next Saturday. We'll have one last go-through, 136 00:06:22,435 --> 00:06:24,480 and then, er, you're all set for the big day. Yeah? 137 00:06:24,515 --> 00:06:25,960 All right, yeah. Thanks, Uncle Al. See ya. 138 00:06:25,995 --> 00:06:28,520 There you are, thanks. Thank you. 139 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,297 Go on, then. 140 00:06:30,332 --> 00:06:32,026 Is she crap? 141 00:06:32,061 --> 00:06:33,685 No, she's... 142 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,400 She gets a bit jittery, that's all. 143 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,400 She'll be all right. Yeah. 144 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,200 You heard from your Patrick at all? 145 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,480 No. 146 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,080 We don't know what's happening. 147 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,880 Well, he'll be right. 148 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,960 Right, I'll see you on Saturday. Yeah. 149 00:06:58,995 --> 00:07:00,245 And don't be worrying about her. 150 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,840 All right. All right, see ya later. Ta-ra. 151 00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,160 Thanks, Al. Ta-ra, love. 152 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,040 Is it hurting when I'm pressing down? 153 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,800 I'm kidding! My heart went! 154 00:07:36,835 --> 00:07:38,445 Your face! 155 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,520 What are you doing anyway? 156 00:07:40,555 --> 00:07:42,000 Just maths. 157 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,800 And did, um, did Mum say anything to you about a prom dress 158 00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,365 I was asking her about the other day? 159 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,440 I just showed her in a magazine the other night. 160 00:07:51,475 --> 00:07:53,245 She did, yeah. Yeah. 161 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,040 You had a bit of a to-do over it, didn't you? 162 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,777 Yeah. I don't want it. 163 00:07:56,812 --> 00:07:58,445 Are you sure? Yeah. 164 00:07:58,480 --> 00:07:59,525 I actually don't want it. Honestly. 165 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,780 I was just wondering if she'd said anything to you, that's all. 166 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,000 You know, we've got you a really good Christmas box and everything. 167 00:08:04,035 --> 00:08:05,645 I know, thanks, Dad. Lots of nice smellies and... 168 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,280 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't... I don't need it, to be fair. 169 00:08:08,315 --> 00:08:10,840 I'm just gonna borrow summat off one of the girls or... 170 00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:12,085 Do you want a brew? 171 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,920 Er, yeah, all right. Yeah. Thanks. 172 00:08:14,955 --> 00:08:16,200 Thank you, love. 173 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,365 That's it. You're very good at this. 174 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,800 But not too much, remember, cos do you remember what happens? 175 00:08:24,835 --> 00:08:26,245 Yeah. Go on. 176 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,045 It leaks everywhere. 177 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,180 It leaks everywhere when it's in the oven, right. 178 00:08:30,215 --> 00:08:32,245 You can put that lid on there. Won't be a sec. 179 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,800 Don't put any of that in your mouth, cos it'll make you feel sick. 180 00:08:33,835 --> 00:08:34,885 On which one? 181 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,360 Put the lid on the top of that one there. 182 00:08:36,395 --> 00:08:37,520 This one? Yeah. 183 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,200 I'll just get you some money. 184 00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:43,885 I won't be a sec. Just one second. 185 00:08:46,635 --> 00:08:50,205 Connor, quick! Come and have a look. It's carol singers. 186 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,960 Right, you go and listen at the door. Don't move from that door. 187 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,405 - Are you for real?! - Yeah, I'll pay it back. 188 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:19,040 When?! When?! You're off work until Christmas with your flaming arm! 189 00:09:19,075 --> 00:09:21,277 I'll ask me brother! Ha! Don't make me laugh! 190 00:09:21,312 --> 00:09:23,480 Him?! He's tighter than two coats of paint! 191 00:09:23,515 --> 00:09:24,565 Don't start. 192 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,640 He charges his own niece for driving lessons. 193 00:09:26,675 --> 00:09:27,645 Well, it's his job. 194 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,360 What do you want him to do? Do it for free? 195 00:09:29,395 --> 00:09:31,397 Yes, I do! I bloody do, Trevor! 196 00:09:31,432 --> 00:09:33,365 He knows how hard we struggle! 197 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,400 I've been scrubbing toilets in that school every morning since March! 198 00:09:36,435 --> 00:09:38,085 All right. I'm sorry. 199 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,165 I will sort it out. I'm very, very sorry, OK? 200 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,520 Right, good for you. Good for you. I'm glad you're sorry. 201 00:09:43,555 --> 00:09:45,525 What am I gonna tell that little lad down there? 202 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,960 "Sorry, Christmas is cancelled cos Grandad spent all your present money!" 203 00:09:48,995 --> 00:09:51,120 He doesn't need more. He's got all them presents. 204 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,445 He doesn't need everything! 205 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,280 Don't be so bloody stupid! He's six! 206 00:09:55,315 --> 00:09:56,485 He's six. 207 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,845 All right, well, we'll get him bloody... It's not his fault. 208 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:03,080 I know it's not his fault! It's my fault, and I've told ya, I will pay it back! 209 00:10:03,115 --> 00:10:04,325 Just gimme more time. 210 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,040 How many times have you got? 211 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,040 What happened, you fell off a ladder? 212 00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:10,937 No, I got knocked off. 213 00:10:10,972 --> 00:10:12,626 You daft sod. How? Who by? 214 00:10:12,661 --> 00:10:14,245 There's this new lad at work. 215 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,480 He comes barging in cos he was late for lunch. 216 00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:18,005 He sent me flying. 217 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,800 Well, you should sue him. I would. 218 00:10:19,835 --> 00:10:21,245 We all know you would. 219 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,560 It's not my fault that Pizza Express don't take the stones out of the olives. 220 00:10:24,595 --> 00:10:26,320 Charity begins at home, you know. 221 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,600 Are you two just gonna sit there drinking your friggin' brews 222 00:10:31,635 --> 00:10:32,920 while I drag this tree in by meself? 223 00:10:32,955 --> 00:10:34,325 Sorry, Jules. 224 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,600 "Sorry, Jules." I'll shove a broom up my arse as well 225 00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:38,840 while I'm at it, shall I? Sweep up all the pine needles! 226 00:10:38,875 --> 00:10:39,885 Sorry, love. 227 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,880 - Yeah, sorry, my arse. - What? 228 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:44,440 Right, come on, then. 229 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,160 We don't need all this! Don't forget this one. 230 00:10:50,195 --> 00:10:51,245 I do! It's for Christmas! 231 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,965 It's for one meal! I got carrots the other day! 232 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,200 We don't... We need more carrots. You got four bags! 233 00:10:56,235 --> 00:10:57,965 Go on, put the tangerines away first off. 234 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,560 I want you to put them in the bottom cupboard down there. 235 00:11:00,595 --> 00:11:01,605 They're not for eating. 236 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,080 What do you mean, they're not for eating? 237 00:11:03,115 --> 00:11:04,520 They're for Christmas! Do as you're told. 238 00:11:04,555 --> 00:11:05,645 Put them in the bottom cupboard. 239 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,085 Are you having a laugh? It is Christmas. 240 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,840 Um, Becky said she saw Patrick at the stag. 241 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,040 You never told us. 242 00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:17,965 I'm telling you now. 243 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,760 And what did she say? Did he look all right? 244 00:11:20,795 --> 00:11:21,965 Yeah, fine. 245 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,240 I think she just said he was eating chips or something. 246 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,685 Well, that's all right, isn't it? Yeah. 247 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,000 He could do with putting a bit of weight on, couldn't he? 248 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,085 Mum, who has Brazil nuts? 249 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,045 We have Brazil nuts. It's Christmas. 250 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,000 I might have, um... I might have a bit of a drive over there later. 251 00:11:40,035 --> 00:11:41,040 You know, see if I can see him. 252 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,125 Mum! Don't, Jules! 253 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,245 I won't mither him. Seriously, don't. 254 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,460 If he wants to come, he'll come. All right? 255 00:11:46,495 --> 00:11:48,640 Mum, just don't. Just leave it. Promise me? 256 00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,285 All right. 257 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:51,920 You know what happened last time. 258 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,960 Has work said anything about compensation for your accident? 259 00:11:57,995 --> 00:11:59,720 No, they've not said anything yet. 260 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,160 It'll be all right, you know? It will. 261 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,565 Trevor, come here. 262 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,160 For God's sake! 263 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:18,080 I'm taking t'batteries out. You are not taking the batteries out! 264 00:12:18,115 --> 00:12:19,640 I am! Don't, I love it! 265 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,040 Great, they're here. Ssh! 266 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,405 Hey! 267 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,520 Hiya. Go on, then, how did ya get on? 268 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,820 It doesn't matter, darling. 269 00:12:33,855 --> 00:12:35,800 You can try again next year. Yeah. 270 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:38,685 I passed! 271 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,680 With flying colours! 272 00:12:40,715 --> 00:12:42,640 Yeah, yeah, come here! 273 00:12:42,675 --> 00:12:44,177 Congratulations! 274 00:12:44,212 --> 00:12:45,645 That's amazing! 275 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,125 Well done! Well done, Mia. 276 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,920 Brilliant. Give me a hug. Brilliant. Well done. 277 00:12:49,955 --> 00:12:51,800 I'm so proud of you! 278 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,840 Go on, Connor, under there. You're making it worse! 279 00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:58,085 Under there. That's it, that's it. 280 00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,965 No, you've twisted it now. Go back that way. 281 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,860 Give this back. Hang on. Hang on. But you are making it worse. 282 00:13:02,895 --> 00:13:05,720 No, no, no, I've got it, I've got it. Let him step over there. 283 00:13:05,755 --> 00:13:07,337 That's stupid! Please, Dad! 284 00:13:07,372 --> 00:13:08,885 Dad, they're different. 285 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,160 All right, now, if you put your hands up, Jules. 286 00:13:10,195 --> 00:13:11,600 Just put them both up. 287 00:13:11,635 --> 00:13:13,005 For God's sakes! 288 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,200 Right, cos it's...tickle time! 289 00:13:15,235 --> 00:13:17,280 You daft sod! 290 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,445 Dad! Hey, you! 291 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,500 Hey, my little monster! I've missed you, kid! 292 00:13:24,535 --> 00:13:27,520 There was an alien crash at school! Was there? 293 00:13:27,555 --> 00:13:29,457 And, and... An alien crash! 294 00:13:29,492 --> 00:13:31,325 And what happened there? 295 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,500 And the teacher found little slimy aliens! 296 00:13:34,535 --> 00:13:37,640 Did he? This is a really nice surprise. 297 00:13:37,675 --> 00:13:38,760 Are you stopping? 298 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,445 Well, I would like to. 299 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,360 Of course you can, you daft thing! 300 00:13:43,395 --> 00:13:44,725 Come on, get your coat off. 301 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,400 Let him get in first, for God's sake! 302 00:13:46,435 --> 00:13:48,040 Sorry, do you want a drink or anything? 303 00:13:48,075 --> 00:13:49,165 Why didn't you ring us? 304 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,520 Just, er, I lost my phone, Dad. 305 00:13:52,555 --> 00:13:55,325 I'm, er... I'm sorry. 306 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,520 Hey, don't be daft! I'm glad you've come. 307 00:13:58,555 --> 00:13:59,720 Go on, take your coat off. 308 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,560 Hey, your sister's got some good news. 309 00:14:02,595 --> 00:14:03,565 Aye, what's that? 310 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,460 Passed me driving test. Yeah. 311 00:14:05,495 --> 00:14:07,285 Hey, congratulations, you. 312 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,200 I'll have to look out now when I'm crossing road. 313 00:14:09,235 --> 00:14:10,485 Yeah, yeah. Dad. 314 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,005 What's this, kid? 315 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,820 A telegram from the Pope? What's this? 316 00:14:13,855 --> 00:14:15,600 Your first miracle. I made it for you. 317 00:14:15,635 --> 00:14:17,520 You made me this? Yeah. 318 00:14:17,555 --> 00:14:19,005 No, you never! 319 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:22,200 I made the tree out of glitter glue. 320 00:14:22,235 --> 00:14:23,640 Did ya? 321 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,800 This is absolutely fantastic. Thank you, Mum. 322 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,000 What have you put in this? 323 00:14:37,035 --> 00:14:38,720 It's tinned tomato soup. 324 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,165 Hiya. Hiya. You all right? 325 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,760 Mum, is there any hot water? Cos I wanna have a bath before tonight. 326 00:14:44,795 --> 00:14:46,925 Where you going? Got my Christmas prom. 327 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,800 You've got your eye on someone, have you? No! 328 00:14:49,835 --> 00:14:51,400 Thanks. 329 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,765 Er, Mia. 330 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,640 What was I gonna say? I was gonna tell you something. 331 00:14:57,675 --> 00:14:59,137 What was it? 332 00:14:59,172 --> 00:15:00,600 Yeah. 333 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,605 What's this? 334 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,565 It's an early Christmas present. 335 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,480 It's just to say well done for passing your driving test. 336 00:15:09,515 --> 00:15:11,680 What is it? It's for tonight. 337 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,120 It's for tonight? 338 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,400 My God, Mum, you didn't? 339 00:15:17,435 --> 00:15:20,600 Just open it! Mum! 340 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,045 I, um... 341 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,445 I tried to copy the pattern. 342 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,840 Look, all the sequins, they're all in the same place. 343 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,920 A little bit of ribbon, there, on it, look. 344 00:15:33,955 --> 00:15:35,637 It's lovely. Wow. 345 00:15:35,672 --> 00:15:37,285 Do you like it? Yeah. 346 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,840 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's lovely. 347 00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:41,085 Um... 348 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,165 You don't like it. 349 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,200 No, no, I do like it, Mum, I just, um... 350 00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:46,285 I was talking to Michelle earlier 351 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,320 and I've just got it in me head what I'm gonna wear. 352 00:15:48,355 --> 00:15:50,285 It's fine. Honestly. No, Mum. 353 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,560 Honestly, it's fine. No, Mum, I was just saying to Michelle, 354 00:15:52,595 --> 00:15:54,400 I've got it in... It'll probably want altering anyway. 355 00:15:54,435 --> 00:15:56,280 That's-that's so nice. I just... 356 00:15:56,315 --> 00:15:57,605 Go and get ready, you. 357 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,080 Go on. I'll put the immersion on. You go and get a bath. 358 00:16:00,115 --> 00:16:01,165 Thanks, Mum. 359 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,440 You're welcome, sweetheart. 360 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,600 Be back later. Where you going? 361 00:16:13,635 --> 00:16:14,605 Just going out. 362 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,600 Put that in the oven for us, keep it warm, Mum. 363 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,040 Well, before the weekend. 364 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,120 Well, have you got one? 365 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,240 OK, well, good. 366 00:16:45,275 --> 00:16:46,840 And how much? 367 00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,565 Right. 368 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,685 Yeah, let us know, then. 369 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,000 I'll let you get on with it. Yep, see you later. Bye. Bye. 370 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,005 Right, he says, er, 371 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,880 he's gonna try and have it done by the weekend, 372 00:16:57,915 --> 00:16:59,360 but he can't promise anything. 373 00:16:59,395 --> 00:17:01,085 Thanks, Al. 374 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,920 Gonna need a cowl panel replaced and a new windscreen. 375 00:17:03,955 --> 00:17:05,725 Bloody hell! 376 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,480 Don't tell Trevor, will ya? 377 00:17:07,515 --> 00:17:09,165 No, no. My lips are sealed. 378 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,485 Thought it'd be bloody Mia having a prang, not you. 379 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,520 Well, go on, then. Dare I ask - how much is it gonna cost me? 380 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,440 Nothing. 381 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:18,685 How come? 382 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,260 Just see it as a Christmas present. What do you mean? 383 00:17:21,295 --> 00:17:23,227 Because I've been thinking about all that bloody money 384 00:17:23,262 --> 00:17:25,160 I took for Mia's driving lessons. Don't be silly. 385 00:17:25,195 --> 00:17:26,485 It was unreasonable of me. No. 386 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:30,080 It was, Jules. No. Listen. This is on me, please. 387 00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:31,160 No arguments. 388 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,965 Aww, thank you, Alex. Thank you. You're welcome. 389 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,920 You're welcome. You've got to look after family, haven't ya? 390 00:17:37,955 --> 00:17:40,280 Yeah. Yeah, you do. 391 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:46,160 OK, so open this one. 392 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,285 It's Rudolph! 393 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,005 It is, yeah, Rudolph. 394 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:54,160 Rudolph and his big shiny nose? Bit like yours. 395 00:17:54,195 --> 00:17:55,597 Honk! 396 00:17:55,632 --> 00:17:57,000 Wow! 397 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,680 Why didn't you open this one, mate? 398 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,965 We must have forgot. 399 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,240 I- I think it was when we had to go pick Grandpa up from hospital. 400 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,645 Patrick? 401 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,520 What-what you doing? 402 00:18:49,555 --> 00:18:51,325 All right, Dad? Um... 403 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:53,360 I- I just came to see if you were in. 404 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,125 Well, I've been at work. 405 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,180 What were you doing with that tin? 406 00:18:58,215 --> 00:19:00,165 What tin? Please, Patrick! 407 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,280 No, listen, I've gotta go. Listen, listen, listen! 408 00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:03,485 Hey, hey, hey, listen! What? 409 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,640 Listen, if you want cash, I'll go and get you cash! 410 00:19:05,675 --> 00:19:07,165 Right, I don't need any cash off ya. 411 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,260 I don't need anything, right? So just fucking leave me alone and fuck off! 412 00:19:10,295 --> 00:19:13,320 What, you're not gonna wait until at least fucking Connor comes home? 413 00:19:13,355 --> 00:19:15,960 What, so you can humiliate me in front of him again? 414 00:19:15,995 --> 00:19:17,685 No, he... No, listen to me. 415 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,080 You make me feel that fucking big in front of my own son 416 00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:21,165 every time I see him, Dad. 417 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,980 Every time I see him, you make me feel that big. 418 00:19:23,015 --> 00:19:24,725 He wants to see you! We want him to see you! 419 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,680 We want you to have contact! You've not seen him in weeks! 420 00:19:27,715 --> 00:19:29,720 You've more or less poisoned him against me, Dad! 421 00:19:29,755 --> 00:19:31,205 Don't talk wet! 422 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,360 You have! It's like he doesn't even know me. 423 00:19:33,395 --> 00:19:34,365 Rubbish! 424 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,885 You and that stupid bitch of a mother. 425 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:40,040 Hey, hey! Don't you dare talk about your mother like that, all right? 426 00:19:40,075 --> 00:19:41,920 Don't you fucking dare! I need m... 427 00:19:41,955 --> 00:19:43,205 I need money too, you know! 428 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,080 So you can put that crap in your arm, dickhead?! 429 00:19:45,115 --> 00:19:47,200 You don't fucking change! Hey, hey, hey! 430 00:19:47,235 --> 00:19:48,365 Never change, do you? 431 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,160 You're not havin' that fucking money, Patrick. 432 00:19:50,195 --> 00:19:51,977 Shut the... You're not taking that money! 433 00:19:52,012 --> 00:19:53,760 Get off me, you fucking knobhead. Get off me! 434 00:19:53,795 --> 00:19:56,760 Argh! Argh! Get off me! 435 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,040 Can I open it now? 436 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,440 Please, Dad? 437 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:10,840 Um... 438 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,600 Yeah. Yeah, course you can, lad. Yeah, go on. 439 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:26,600 What's up? 440 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,360 I shouldn't have came here, Dad. 441 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,485 Why? 442 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:36,040 Course you should. This is... You know, this is your home, Patrick. 443 00:20:36,075 --> 00:20:38,325 I'm glad you came. 444 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:39,805 You know, whatever's happened, 445 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,580 whatever's gone on in the past, well... 446 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,320 ...it's dealt with, so forget about it. 447 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,200 Well, I can't forget about it, can I? 448 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,120 Look, what you do... 449 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:56,760 ...it's an illness. 450 00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,840 OK? It's not your fault. 451 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,600 You're sick. OK? 452 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,200 Does, um... Does Mum know? 453 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,080 What, about...? About your arm. 454 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,125 Well, you know what your mother's like. 455 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,080 She don't know if it's New Year or New York. 456 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,560 I don't want her to know either, OK? 457 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,120 Well, the thing is, Dad, um... 458 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,885 ...I've borrowed some money from...from these people, 459 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,805 and...and what they've done is that they've passed the debt on 460 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,840 to someone else, and now I owe loads more to this...this other fella. 461 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:40,445 What fella? What's his name? 462 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,360 You don't... You don't wanna know, Dad. He's a right evil bastard. 463 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,160 Patrick. 464 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,640 Well, how much do you owe him? 465 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:52,920 I can't say. 466 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,560 I, um... 467 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,280 I saw him... I saw him the other day, and he said that he's, um... 468 00:22:01,315 --> 00:22:04,120 He said that he's gonna... he's gonna come after me and, er... 469 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,760 I don't know what he's gonna do, Dad. 470 00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:09,925 Has he... Has he said...? 471 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,720 Like, does he know where you're...? Does he know you're here? 472 00:22:12,755 --> 00:22:15,557 Yeah, I-I dunno. Like, I shouldn't... I shouldn't stay. 473 00:22:15,592 --> 00:22:18,360 I didn't... I didn't wanna, you know, drag you into this. 474 00:22:18,395 --> 00:22:21,040 Hey, Patrick, Patrick! Ssh! Listen, listen. 475 00:22:21,075 --> 00:22:23,325 We are your parents. 476 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:26,280 You're our son. So we are in it, right? 477 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:32,040 Whatever's gone on, we'll deal with it together. 478 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,085 I promise you, we'll deal with it. Listen! 479 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:39,860 Dad, I didn't wanna... I don't wanna be like this, honestly! 480 00:22:39,895 --> 00:22:43,600 Hey, stop it, listen. He can't take what we haven't got, can he? 481 00:22:43,635 --> 00:22:44,805 And we've got fuck all. 482 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,640 I'm so sorry, Dad. 483 00:22:47,675 --> 00:22:49,245 It's all right. 484 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,040 Listen, come here. Hey, ssh, come here. 485 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,760 Don't be daft. 486 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,560 Shit! 487 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:46,560 Connor, see if you can get your dad out on Grandma's Knickers. 488 00:23:46,595 --> 00:23:47,885 Yeah, go on. Go on, mate. 489 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:52,240 What's the crown made out of when you pull a cracker? 490 00:23:52,275 --> 00:23:53,525 Grandma's knickers. 491 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,360 Mia now. He's a cool customer! 492 00:23:56,395 --> 00:23:57,805 Mia, go on. 493 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,440 Go on, see if you can crack him. 494 00:23:59,475 --> 00:24:01,125 Crack him, right, OK. 495 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,280 Er... What do you blow your nose with when you've got a cold? 496 00:24:04,315 --> 00:24:06,680 Grandma's knickers. 497 00:24:06,715 --> 00:24:08,760 You're smiling! I'm not smiling! 498 00:24:08,795 --> 00:24:10,405 You are! You're smirking! 499 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,240 Hey, if you wanna smirk, go outside. 500 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:15,445 Patrick, I've got one. 501 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,765 Right, listen. Ssh! Right, go on. 502 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,765 Um, you know when you go upstairs to your room 503 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,520 and you put your special websites on your computer. 504 00:24:22,555 --> 00:24:23,525 Trevor! 505 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:24,960 What do you put over your face? 506 00:24:24,995 --> 00:24:26,285 For God's sakes! 507 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:27,920 Grandma's knickers. 508 00:24:27,955 --> 00:24:30,037 Honestly! What websites? 509 00:24:30,072 --> 00:24:32,085 Don't listen to him! 510 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:34,240 Well, it worked! I don't care! It's not right. 511 00:24:34,275 --> 00:24:35,285 Ignore him. 512 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:36,760 Every time... Just silly, just silly. 513 00:24:36,795 --> 00:24:39,200 What website? 514 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,460 Who's that? God, who's that at this time of night? 515 00:24:45,495 --> 00:24:48,047 Right, er, Connor, I think it's your bedtime now. 516 00:24:48,082 --> 00:24:50,600 So, Jules, will you take him up, please? Yeah? 517 00:24:50,635 --> 00:24:52,360 OK. Right, go upstairs, please. Come on! 518 00:24:52,395 --> 00:24:53,365 All right, Trevor, don't shout. 519 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,560 I'm not shouting at him, you just need to go. Mia, you too. 520 00:24:55,595 --> 00:24:57,440 Please, don't shout! I'm not shouting at him! 521 00:24:57,475 --> 00:24:59,165 Stop! Come with me. 522 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:00,880 Come on, sweetheart. Patrick, come here. Get out of the way. 523 00:25:00,915 --> 00:25:03,760 Come on, let's go and get your jimjams on. 524 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,160 Now you stop here, OK? All right. 525 00:25:06,195 --> 00:25:07,520 All right? And don't say anything. 526 00:25:07,555 --> 00:25:08,800 Stop here. 527 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,420 Yeah, can I help you at all? 528 00:25:17,455 --> 00:25:19,640 Yeah, we're looking for Patrick Morbury. Is he in? 529 00:25:19,675 --> 00:25:21,365 Er, he is, yeah. 530 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,680 One second. Can you just wait there a second? 531 00:25:23,715 --> 00:25:24,877 Patrick? 532 00:25:24,912 --> 00:25:26,005 Yeah? 533 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:27,245 Right, just come here a sec. 534 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,680 Who is it? It's all right. Just come here. 535 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:35,520 You all right? 536 00:25:36,952 --> 00:25:38,280 Yeah. 537 00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:43,440 No. 538 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,080 I miss Sandra. 539 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:53,800 I know I don't go on about it, but... 540 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:57,440 ...I really miss her. 541 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:00,760 It's four Christmases now. 542 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,565 Makes me sad. 543 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:10,040 Hey, come here. Come here! 544 00:26:10,075 --> 00:26:11,200 Stop it! 545 00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:15,685 Hey? 546 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,200 You know you're always welcome here, don't you? 547 00:26:18,235 --> 00:26:19,517 I know. 548 00:26:19,552 --> 00:26:20,800 Yeah? Yeah. 549 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,680 God! 550 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,780 You all right? 551 00:26:26,815 --> 00:26:28,560 Yeah, I'm done, I'm done. 552 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,600 What was this your Mia was saying about a copper coming round? 553 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,020 God, yeah. 554 00:26:39,055 --> 00:26:40,160 Two of 'em. 555 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:46,200 They, er, they wanted to speak to our Patrick about this...loan shark 556 00:26:46,235 --> 00:26:48,217 that's been threatening him. 557 00:26:48,252 --> 00:26:50,165 Right, what did they say? 558 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,480 Well, he got knocked down last Tuesday. 559 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,240 Hit and run, apparently. 560 00:26:55,275 --> 00:26:56,925 Bloody hell. Did he die? 561 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,600 I dunno, he's in intensive care. 562 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,360 Well, good riddance. 563 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:05,600 Good riddance. 564 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:17,125 Bloody hell, look at that lot? 565 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:21,600 We've not done so bad considering I spent all the Christmas money. 566 00:27:21,635 --> 00:27:23,680 You can stop lying now. 567 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,720 Patrick told me what happened. 568 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,280 Sorry, Jules. I should have told ya, but... 569 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,000 ...I didn't want to upset ya. 570 00:27:39,035 --> 00:27:40,960 It's fine. 571 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:44,920 He loves you, you know? 572 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:46,960 I know. 573 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,200 It's nice having him back, isn't it? 574 00:27:51,235 --> 00:27:52,680 Yeah. For now. 575 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,800 He'll be off again, though, won't he, by New Year? 576 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,320 Well, let's just take it one day at a time? 577 00:28:01,355 --> 00:28:04,177 Yep, keep plodding on. 578 00:28:04,212 --> 00:28:07,000 Plodding on. 579 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:13,200 Right, well, I think we'd better take these through? 580 00:28:13,235 --> 00:28:14,357 And shall we go to bed? 581 00:28:14,392 --> 00:28:15,480 Yeah, I'm shattered. 582 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,560 I do love you, Jules. 583 00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:31,040 I love you, Trev. 42318

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