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1
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:16,049
Fuck Wolverine.
2
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,762
First, he rides my coattails
with the R rating.
3
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:23,929
Then the hairy motherfucker
ups the ante by dying.
4
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,060
What a dick.
5
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,349
Well, guess what, Wolvie?
6
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,726
I'm dying in this one, too.
7
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:36,736
To understand
why I took a cat-nap
8
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,905
on 1, 200 gallons
of high-test fuel...
9
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,278
I need to take you back
10
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,701
to the dewy slopes
of six weeks ago.
11
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,069
I'd gone international,
12
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,121
taking out mass murderers,
gangsters,
13
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,573
unspeakable monsters.
14
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:50,667
People nobody would touch.
Except me.
15
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,832
I'm gonna touch them all over.
16
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,417
Hey, it's Gail calling.
17
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,593
Love the shiny suit.
18
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:00,680
Really brings out
19
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,300
the sex trafficker in your eyes.
20
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,553
Whatever they're paying,
I'll double it.
21
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:07,764
I don't
speak Cantonese, Mister...
22
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,812
Well, I'm not even gonna
attempt that.
23
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,516
The sex trafficker in your eyes.
24
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,689
Where is the library?
25
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,812
Which literally translates to...
26
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:21,232
I don't bargain, pumpkin fucker.
27
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:34,128
Oh. Oh, this isn't Gilbert's.
28
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,420
I am so sorry.
29
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,187
I thought this was
an anal-bleaching party.
30
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,154
Don't worry.
You're not going to die.
31
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,653
Although these will kill you.
32
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,744
Hit it, Dolly.
33
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,630
I'm merely
a vessel for the Lord.
34
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,486
Taking the hands out
of the guns of the criminals!
35
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,533
Whoo! Do not go in there!
36
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,337
Let's see
Captain America do that.
37
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,798
Too exotic?
38
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,496
I don't bargain.
39
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,888
Oh, God! Oh, God,
time out! Time out!
40
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:38,471
Cut. I've got bad guy blood,
right in my open eye.
41
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,306
Oh, that's so gross.
42
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:42,728
Fuck.
43
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,798
Looks like you left
a little landing strip there.
44
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:46,857
I like it.
45
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,611
Oh, man!
46
00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,870
My world tour brought me home
47
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,293
to this guy, Sergei Valishnikov.
48
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,920
But we'll get to him
in a moment.
49
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,367
'Cause I know
what you're thinking.
50
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,213
"I'm so glad
I left the kiddos at home."
51
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,583
But that's where you'd be wrong.
52
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,676
That babysitter of yours
is high as fuck right now...
53
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:17,051
and, believe it or not,
Deadpool 2 is a family film.
54
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,180
True story.
55
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:22,139
And every good family film
starts with a vicious murder.
56
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:25,271
Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.
57
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:28,605
Holy shit pickles!
That guy's on fire.
58
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,565
That's not CGI, folks.
He's actually on fire.
59
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:34,994
Yeah. You know I get paid
to take out bad guys, right?
60
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,161
But this guy?
61
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,329
He was one of the worst of 'em.
62
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,492
Hurry up and open
this fucking door,
63
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,867
and let's kill
this motherfucker!
64
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,420
Ugh. So gross.
65
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:55,256
A panic room? Really?
66
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,929
Can you come out?
67
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:01,102
I really have to go.
It's my anniversary.
68
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,314
Over and over,
I hear people say,
69
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,885
"I just don't have
enough confidence."
70
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:12,110
Listen, confidence is not
something you have.
71
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,440
It's something you create.
72
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,526
And you can create it
at any moment in time.
73
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,323
A sense of confidence is nothing
74
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,766
but a sense of power
within yourself...
75
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,726
a sense of certainty that
you can pull something off.
76
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,787
Start the fucking car!
77
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:23,958
Dopinder!
78
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,581
Start the fucking car!
79
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,592
Shoot that motherfucker!
Shoot him!
80
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,294
Whoo!
Oh, I shit my pants.
81
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,721
Actually, that may have been me.
82
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,014
Oh, mission accomplished?
83
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,183
Oh, in a George W. sort of way.
84
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,931
Fucker can't stay
in a panic room forever.
85
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,433
Oh, you're living
the dreams, DP.
86
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,639
It has been
quite the run, Dopinder,
87
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:46,940
and who'da thought?
88
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,064
Now I'm talked about
in the same sentence as Jesus.
89
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,403
Passion of the Christ, then me.
90
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:52,695
At least domestically.
91
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:53,943
We beat them overseas,
92
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,991
where there's no such thing
as religion.
93
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:58,239
I do want to live
the dreams, Pool Boy.
94
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,616
Taxiing is not as sexy
as it looks.
95
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:02,490
I want to fill my...
Pockets?
96
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:05,747
What's your poison?
A little, uh, cokey cokey?
97
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,123
Can't maintain an erection
98
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,624
without buying shoes online?
99
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,709
I've never experienced
that last one.
100
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,006
Talk to me, Goose.
101
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,881
I was going to say "soul".
I want to fill my soul.
102
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,929
I want to belong to something,
like you, Pool, sir.
103
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,589
Dopinder...
Hmm?
104
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,933
You never cease to surprise me.
105
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,059
You know, the depth of
your heart is extraordinary.
106
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,765
We all need
a sense of belonging.
107
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,600
We all need
a genuine sense of home.
108
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:30,775
A place in this world.
109
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,214
I want to become
a contract killer.
110
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,728
I'm sorry. What did you say?
111
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,026
Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu
112
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,470
and threatened him
with great violence?
113
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,825
You kind of killed him.
114
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,723
And then remember the movie
Interview with the Vampire?
115
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,862
Don't want to.
116
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:42,991
When Tom Cruise fed
117
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,869
10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood
118
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,120
for the first time...
119
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,578
and she looked up at his smooth,
120
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,878
handsome face and said...
121
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,415
"I want some more."
122
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:57,128
Oh, Pool, picture me,
a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.
123
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,172
I'll never not picture that.
124
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,675
But I can't wait
to never speak of this,
125
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,134
as soon as possible.
126
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,346
We're here.
127
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,071
Dopinder, it's me again.
128
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,818
Look, a saner man
might discourage you
129
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,741
from joining
the deadly merc business...
130
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,239
what, with your concave chest
131
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:22,945
and your paper towel tube arms.
132
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,700
But you're an eagle...
133
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,748
and goddamn it,
an eagle's gotta soar.
134
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,166
You gotta grab those dreams,
135
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,835
grab those dreams
by the dick tip...
136
00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,411
and make it rain!
137
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,372
I don't know what that means.
138
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,423
Me neither.
139
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,466
I'm gonna see you...
140
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,136
at the office.
141
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:41,804
In the sky.
142
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:42,926
You're my Tom Cruise!
143
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,633
And you're my Kristen Dunst!
144
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:45,967
Kristen? Kirsten?
145
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,816
Sorry I'm late.
146
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,438
There was a bunch of
147
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,566
handicapable children
stuck in a tree...
148
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,896
and I had to, uh...
Uh-uh.
149
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,907
You're right.
I was fighting a caped badass.
150
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,235
But then we discovered
his mom is named Martha, too.
151
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,328
No.
You got me.
152
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,508
I was rounding up
all the gluten in the world
153
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:08,784
and launching it into space...
154
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,826
where it can't not
hurt us ever again.
155
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,165
Try again.
156
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,166
Diarrhea?
157
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,100
We can't be sure
until I get this suit off...
158
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,008
but, uh, all signs point to yes.
159
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,930
Traffic?
160
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:23,592
Hmm?
161
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,391
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
162
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,477
Well, come here.
163
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,940
I'm gonna shower
and get out of this suit.
164
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,861
Don't you want your surprise?
165
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,743
Do I look like
a patient burn victim?
166
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,778
I got one for you, too.
167
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,281
Happy anniversary, baby.
168
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,041
Open, open, open.
169
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,377
Skee-Ball token.
170
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,170
Our first date.
171
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,497
Yup.
172
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,546
That's genuine, high-grade lead.
173
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,342
I'll keep it forever.
174
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,219
Thank you, baby.
175
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,560
Open yours.
All right, all right.
176
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,770
Oh...
177
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,045
That's just the most
beautiful thing that I've...
178
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,400
I don't know what this is.
179
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:18,977
My IUD.
180
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,364
A bomb?
181
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:23,236
No, dick for brains.
My birth control device.
182
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,823
What, you mean that your...
183
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,576
Baby factory's open
for business.
184
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:27,744
Oh, my God!
185
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:31,206
Oh, my God! I want a boy!
186
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:34,125
Or a little girl!
Definitely one or the other!
187
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,208
Oh! And I want our kid
to have only one name.
188
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,336
Like Cher or Todd.
189
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,835
You gotta pump a baby
in me first, cowboy.
190
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:43,929
Yes, I do.
191
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,824
Let's watch some porn
and show that bed who's boss.
192
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:46,848
Let's do that.
193
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:49,515
Papa...
194
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,390
Can you hear me?
195
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,188
Papa, can you see me?
196
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,767
Does this song
sound familiar to you?
197
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,528
May.
198
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,992
Connor, if it's a boy.
May, if it's a girl.
199
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:12,031
So weird.
200
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,537
Family was always
an F-word to me.
201
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:19,254
My pile of shit father
took off and bailed.
202
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,632
I mean, it's not like I have
a lot of strong role models
203
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,426
to draw off of for Todd.
204
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:28,213
Hey. Look at me.
205
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,554
You are not your father.
206
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:34,682
Besides...
207
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:39,482
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.
208
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,486
But here's the thing,
209
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,107
isn't that how it always works?
210
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:44,938
Like in Star Wars,
211
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,070
men are destined
to become their father...
212
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:50,823
and then have consensual sex
with their sister?
213
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,325
I think you missed
big, big chunks of that movie.
214
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,457
No, I'm pretty sure
Luke nailed her.
215
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,160
Baby, that's Empire.
216
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,254
The point is, kids...
217
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,376
they give us a chance
to be better than we are.
218
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,336
Better than we used to be.
219
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,423
You're a lot smarter
than I look.
220
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,842
I'm gonna go make dessert.
221
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,305
You get the strap-on.
Let's make a super baby.
222
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,932
Pretty sure it doesn't work
that way, but we can try.
223
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,570
What about Krystal?
But with a "K"?
224
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,567
It's too stripper-y.
225
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,148
Kevin with a "K"!
226
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,325
No, too stripper-y, too.
227
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,495
Uh, Earl!
228
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,160
He's gonna go straight to jail
229
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,036
if we name him Earl.
230
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,369
What about Bruce?
231
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,542
No.
232
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:43,882
Get down.
233
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,331
What?
234
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,988
Baby? Baby?
235
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,666
I'm okay.
236
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,829
Thank God I didn't have to use
the cream cheese spreader.
237
00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,869
Please.
238
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,750
Please. Please.
239
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:09,879
Baby, I'm so sorry.
240
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:13,841
No!
241
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:21,074
Papa, can you hear me?
242
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:23,526
Is it just me, or does
243
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,421
Do You Want to Build
a Snowman? from Frozen...
244
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:26,696
sound suspiciously like
245
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,702
Papa, Can You Hear Me?
From Yentl?
246
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:32,243
Papa, can you hear me?
247
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,585
And nobody fucking realizes it.
248
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,212
Wade, you gotta go home.
249
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,885
You've been sitting here
for three days, okay?
250
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:44,635
You smell like sauerkraut
left in the warm rain.
251
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:47,096
Like wet garbage in hot urine.
252
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,302
You smell like
a dog ate kitty litter...
253
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:51,388
and then farted his way
out of the living room.
254
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,268
I mean, like Rush Limbaugh's
255
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:54,895
couch cushions after Shark Week.
256
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,601
I love Frozen.
257
00:19:56,987 --> 00:20:00,196
I loved her. I loved her
like an ocean loves water.
258
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:01,697
An ocean is water.
259
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:06,449
More importantly, I liked her.
I really liked her, you know?
260
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,071
George Michael was right.
261
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,997
I'm never gonna
dance again. Fuck!
262
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:11,584
He's dead, too.
263
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,084
At least we still have Bowie.
264
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:15,832
Oh, Mr. Pool.
David Bowie is...
265
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:16,923
Uh, uh, uh...
266
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:18,373
still with us.
267
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:21,334
We do.
We'll always have Bowie.
268
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:22,929
I'm sorry.
269
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,295
Shot after shot,
270
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,368
it's not gonna change the fact
that I think you're...
271
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,036
Are you pissing?
Are you urinating right now?
272
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,802
You're making the face that
you make when you urinate.
273
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,436
Is he pissing?
I'm on it!
274
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,062
There you go, Dopinder.
275
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,141
If you want to be
a contract killer...
276
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,727
you gotta handle a mop
before you handle a gun.
277
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:39,881
Although I don't
quite understand
278
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,111
how they are at all similar.
279
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:43,565
'Cause I could shove either
one up your ass and kill you.
280
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:44,740
Now, leave me.
281
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:45,827
I get it.
282
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:47,906
Go home, Wade.
283
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:50,364
I don't have a home,
Weas, you know. I got a...
284
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,157
Okay, I'm fine.
285
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,252
I'm fine.
286
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,202
You know what "fine"
stands for, Wade?
287
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:59,631
Fucked up, insecure,
needy, and emotional.
288
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:01,290
According to the...
289
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:03,797
Kübler-Ross.
Yeah.
290
00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:05,924
According to
the Kübler-Ross model...
291
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:08,757
denial is just one of
the five stages of grief.
292
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,808
Jesus Christ, Buck!
293
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,181
No more speaking lines for you.
294
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,154
Hey, bud. Bud.
295
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,027
Huh?
Got a match?
296
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:27,368
Match?
297
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:29,243
Yes, I have one right here.
298
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,807
Don't make a move.
This is a stick-up.
299
00:21:30,831 --> 00:21:32,538
What?
You heard me.
300
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,616
Mister, Mister,
put down that gun.
301
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:37,293
Shut up. Now, come on.
Your money or your life?
302
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:49,131
Look, bud, I said,
"Your money or your life."
303
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:50,308
"I'm thinking it over!"
304
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:51,974
Motherfuck!
305
00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:53,142
Fuck!
306
00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:57,562
The hell you doin' here?
307
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,061
Don't you know how to knock?
308
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:01,643
I thought you saw me...
309
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,068
with your ears.
310
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:04,382
You're lucky I didn't
shoot you in the...
311
00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:05,406
The wall?
312
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:08,859
The refrigerator?
I'm in so much pain.
313
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,246
I heard the news, sweetie.
314
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:15,073
I'm very sorry. lam.
315
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,915
What am I gonna do, Al?
316
00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,126
Probably something terrible.
317
00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:21,537
Knowing you.
318
00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,251
It was my fault.
319
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:26,334
I fucking did this.
320
00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:29,007
And all I wanna do
is grab her and see her
321
00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:31,089
and tell her that I'm sorry,
and I can't.
322
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,676
She's gone.
323
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:38,183
Sweetheart, can you speak up?
324
00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:39,813
It's a little hard to hear you
325
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:41,561
with that pity dick
in your mouth.
326
00:22:41,652 --> 00:22:44,644
Now, look, sugar.
You need to just keep living.
327
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:45,738
Thank you...
328
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:49,032
Matthew McConaughey,
your words are a treasure.
329
00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:51,155
Listen to the pain.
330
00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:53,953
It's both history teacher
and fortune teller.
331
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:56,906
Pain teaches us
who we are, Wade.
332
00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:00,953
Sometimes, it's so bad,
we feel like we're dying.
333
00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:04,338
But we can't really live till
we've died a little, can we?
334
00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:08,050
Wade?
335
00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:12,425
Wade?
I'm right here, Althea.
336
00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:15,308
And that is
the most beautiful thing
337
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,600
I've ever heard.
338
00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:18,890
And you're absolutely right.
339
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:25,102
I'm about to do
something terrible.
340
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,446
Precious, aren't they?
341
00:23:33,287 --> 00:23:34,652
Whoa!
342
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,158
Are you a superhero?
343
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:37,864
Fucking A, sweetie.
344
00:23:37,958 --> 00:23:39,494
What's your name?
345
00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:41,326
Captain Delicious Pants.
346
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,582
Who's Captain Delicious Pants?
347
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:10,905
I can't believe
he's still alive.
348
00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:13,483
I can't believe you left
the house in that shirt.
349
00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:16,865
There's gotta be
some way to die.
350
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,947
I just need to die harder.
351
00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,156
Trademark Fox.
352
00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:21,334
Y'all caught up now?
353
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,180
Open for business.
354
00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:41,845
Your crazy matches my crazy.
355
00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:44,309
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.
356
00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:45,564
Skee-Ball token.
357
00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:46,931
You're a lot smarter
than I look.
358
00:24:52,950 --> 00:24:54,052
About why
we're so good together.
359
00:24:54,076 --> 00:24:55,407
I love you, Wade Wilson.
360
00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,491
Ness?
361
00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:02,073
Ness?
362
00:25:02,918 --> 00:25:03,918
Ness.
363
00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:07,207
Ness, there's something here.
I can't get to you.
364
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:11,006
Your heart's not
in the right place.
365
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:13,342
Wait, hold on. What?
366
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:16,261
Your heart's not
in the right place.
367
00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:17,383
Wait. What do you mean
368
00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:19,434
my heart's not in the right
place? What does it...
369
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:41,491
I'm terribly sorry
for your loss, Wade.
370
00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:43,038
You're broken.
371
00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:46,083
Oh, God.
I know that voice.
372
00:26:07,149 --> 00:26:08,560
Well, Russell.
373
00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:11,312
I hear you're handy
at picking locks.
374
00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:14,858
There will be no need
for that here.
375
00:26:14,948 --> 00:26:18,236
There's no locks on our doors,
no bars on our windows.
376
00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:21,611
I know what you're thinking.
377
00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:23,787
Why don't the kids just run?
378
00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:26,953
Who would choose to stay
in such a place?
379
00:26:27,377 --> 00:26:29,414
You stay because...
380
00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:34,632
deep down inside, you know
you're unfit to leave.
381
00:26:38,472 --> 00:26:40,054
Don't worry.
382
00:26:41,225 --> 00:26:42,886
We can fix that.
383
00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:51,474
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand.
384
00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:15,081
"Heart's in the right place."
385
00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:16,653
"Heart's in the right..."
What does that mean?
386
00:27:16,677 --> 00:27:18,543
Take your mask off, Wade.
387
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:20,219
I wish you'd said "pants".
388
00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:21,553
Let's play a game.
389
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,098
It's called
"Adrien Brody or Adam Brody?".
390
00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:26,516
Now, close your eyes
and open your mouth.
391
00:27:26,603 --> 00:27:28,435
You don't need to be funny here.
392
00:27:29,022 --> 00:27:30,183
We must talk.
393
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:32,773
You need fresh start.
394
00:27:32,860 --> 00:27:34,350
Such a glare.
395
00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:36,606
It's like I'm on stage
at the Gaiety.
396
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:39,238
With training, you can be X-Man.
397
00:27:39,408 --> 00:27:41,490
You're wasting your time,
Shiny Jesus.
398
00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:42,817
I'm not X-Man material.
399
00:27:42,911 --> 00:27:44,493
Understatement of the year.
400
00:27:44,955 --> 00:27:45,955
Wade, Yukio.
401
00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:47,576
Yukio, Wade.
402
00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:50,457
What in the fuck knuckles
is this?
403
00:27:50,544 --> 00:27:52,410
She's my girlfriend,
you intolerant shit.
404
00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:54,999
Whoa! Pump the hate brakes,
Fox & Friends.
405
00:27:55,090 --> 00:27:56,922
I'm just surprised
anyone would date you.
406
00:27:57,009 --> 00:27:59,296
Especially Pinkie Pie
from My Little Pony.
407
00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:01,009
I like this guy.
408
00:28:01,555 --> 00:28:02,841
Give him a chance.
409
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:04,784
It's great seeing you like this.
410
00:28:04,808 --> 00:28:06,970
Yeah.
411
00:28:07,436 --> 00:28:08,436
Bye, Wade!
412
00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:11,224
Now, some ground rules
while under our roof.
413
00:28:11,315 --> 00:28:14,057
"Rule number one.
No killing...
414
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:17,564
"anyone ever, no matter how bad.
415
00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:20,237
"Rule two. Label everything
in refrigerator."
416
00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:21,324
Wade?
417
00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:23,282
Wade?
418
00:28:23,493 --> 00:28:25,234
Don't try to chase me.
Wade!
419
00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:27,407
I'm not ready
to be touched again.
420
00:28:27,497 --> 00:28:29,704
All these old guys on the wall.
421
00:28:29,791 --> 00:28:31,873
Who lives here,
Calista Flockhart?
422
00:28:34,087 --> 00:28:36,454
Those were already damaged
after they fell there!
423
00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:38,964
What am I supposed
to do around here, anyway?
424
00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:41,258
Sit in a share circle,
talk about my feelings?
425
00:28:41,345 --> 00:28:43,928
And how would I do that exactly?
426
00:28:44,264 --> 00:28:46,676
'Cause where the fuck
is everyone?
427
00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:47,848
It's always just you
428
00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:49,329
and Negasonic Teenage
Longest Name Ever...
429
00:28:49,353 --> 00:28:50,353
Enough!
430
00:28:50,646 --> 00:28:52,478
I said no touching!
431
00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:56,770
What the fuck?
432
00:28:57,569 --> 00:28:59,685
You'd think the studio
would throw us a bone.
433
00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:01,817
One that doesn't end up
in my mouth.
434
00:29:02,658 --> 00:29:03,843
The first movie made more money
435
00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:06,154
than the guy who invented pants.
436
00:29:06,245 --> 00:29:08,361
They can't just dust off
one of the famous X-Men?
437
00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:10,537
How 'bout that putz
with the giant pigeon wings?
438
00:29:10,624 --> 00:29:11,864
What do those do anyway, huh?
439
00:29:11,959 --> 00:29:13,370
Carry him
three feet off the ground
440
00:29:13,460 --> 00:29:15,371
to snatch up
the nearest muffin crumb?
441
00:29:15,587 --> 00:29:17,703
No, no, no!
442
00:29:17,798 --> 00:29:20,460
I am not X-Man material at all.
443
00:29:20,550 --> 00:29:23,167
First off...
444
00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:25,299
I'm not even a virgin.
Second and more...
445
00:29:27,516 --> 00:29:28,551
I should have left you
446
00:29:28,642 --> 00:29:30,303
in the self-pitying mess
I found you in.
447
00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:33,432
But this is what friends do.
They show up!
448
00:29:33,522 --> 00:29:35,183
Not when convenient or easy.
449
00:29:35,565 --> 00:29:38,933
When hard,
and you always make it hard.
450
00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:42,357
You are unwell.
451
00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:44,529
I'm sticking my neck out
bringing you here.
452
00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:46,448
Wait.
One of the assholes
453
00:29:46,535 --> 00:29:48,025
who killed Vanessa got away.
454
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,613
Oh, Jesus Christ!
455
00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:54,727
I thought you were gonna
kiss me for a second there.
456
00:29:54,751 --> 00:29:56,688
Please know I wouldn't be
able to stop you if you did.
457
00:29:56,712 --> 00:29:58,703
Wade, whoever they are...
458
00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:01,129
we track them down
and bring them to justice.
459
00:30:01,717 --> 00:30:03,128
It was me.
460
00:30:05,971 --> 00:30:07,553
I'm the asshole who got away.
461
00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:11,299
I killed every last one
of them, except me.
462
00:30:11,852 --> 00:30:13,559
Couldn't kill me.
463
00:30:16,690 --> 00:30:18,681
We were gonna start a family.
464
00:30:20,485 --> 00:30:22,396
We were, uh...
465
00:30:23,697 --> 00:30:25,404
We were gonna be a family.
466
00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:27,199
Wade...
467
00:30:27,367 --> 00:30:30,155
Vanessa is gone.
She's not coming back.
468
00:30:31,747 --> 00:30:34,034
This may not be
family you want...
469
00:30:34,124 --> 00:30:36,115
but it's family you need.
470
00:30:36,585 --> 00:30:37,825
You have a good heart.
471
00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:39,455
It belongs here
where it can grow.
472
00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:42,256
What did you say?
473
00:30:44,301 --> 00:30:45,632
About my heart?
474
00:30:51,058 --> 00:30:53,049
I think I'm in the right place.
475
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:03,619
I'mma tell you
what the big lie is.
476
00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:05,295
Toilet paper.
477
00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:06,747
What's so bad
about toilet paper?
478
00:32:06,842 --> 00:32:08,003
Gets the job done.
479
00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:10,926
Does it really get the job done?
480
00:32:11,012 --> 00:32:13,174
All right. Say you wake up
tomorrow morning...
481
00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:17,930
and, hypothetically, find some
fresh shit on your face.
482
00:32:18,019 --> 00:32:19,739
Your cheek, maybe
a little bit in the beard.
483
00:32:19,771 --> 00:32:21,457
What the hell?
I'm about to be fucking sick!
484
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:22,516
What do you do?
485
00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:23,893
Do you go to a bathroom
486
00:32:23,984 --> 00:32:25,600
and tear off
a piece of dry tissue...
487
00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:27,526
and rub it around
on your beard a little bit
488
00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:29,148
and then go on,
get on with your day?
489
00:32:29,239 --> 00:32:30,821
Go to church,
maybe dinner and a movie,
490
00:32:30,907 --> 00:32:31,988
like nothing happened?
491
00:32:32,075 --> 00:32:33,406
Where is this coming from, man?
492
00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:34,699
But something did happen.
493
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:36,197
Your face smells like shit.
Right?
494
00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:37,824
So what you would do,
495
00:32:37,914 --> 00:32:40,121
is you would get some soap,
you'd get some hot water...
496
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:42,495
and you would scrub
the fucking shit
497
00:32:42,586 --> 00:32:44,543
out of your beard
for 10 straight minutes.
498
00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:46,290
You could not scrub it enough.
499
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:48,021
Are you trying
to make me feel disgusting?
500
00:32:48,091 --> 00:32:49,252
I'm starting to feel...
501
00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:52,004
Toilet paper is
a plenty fine appetizer.
502
00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:54,177
But, then...
503
00:32:54,431 --> 00:32:56,718
Huggies Natural Care wet wipes.
504
00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:58,139
That's your main course.
505
00:32:58,226 --> 00:33:01,344
They're soft, they're moist.
They're for babies.
506
00:33:02,189 --> 00:33:04,931
Finally, one more pass
with toilet paper,
507
00:33:05,025 --> 00:33:06,891
maybe clear out
that excess moisture.
508
00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:08,567
Maybe treat yourself
to a blow and go,
509
00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:09,939
if you can get you a hair dryer.
510
00:33:10,030 --> 00:33:12,362
Just about 30 seconds
would do you good.
511
00:33:16,077 --> 00:33:17,077
The fuck?
512
00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:19,365
Year.
513
00:33:20,373 --> 00:33:21,373
What?
514
00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:24,200
What year is it?
515
00:33:24,294 --> 00:33:26,752
What kind of dumb-ass question
is that to ask?
516
00:33:57,494 --> 00:34:00,236
We have 8 weeks
of boot camp ahead of us, men.
517
00:34:00,330 --> 00:34:01,616
That'll get us
toned and prepared
518
00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:03,288
for all manner of combat.
519
00:34:05,377 --> 00:34:09,371
Not working out at all.
520
00:34:09,631 --> 00:34:11,247
Masking tape.
521
00:34:11,341 --> 00:34:13,673
It is no friend
to chilled aluminum.
522
00:34:14,761 --> 00:34:16,718
Velcro.
Color-coded, efficient,
523
00:34:16,805 --> 00:34:17,886
environmentally friendly.
524
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,176
Who is he talking to?
525
00:34:20,267 --> 00:34:21,953
And why is he dressed like
a registered sex offender?
526
00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:23,934
Can we focus
for a moment, ladies?
527
00:34:24,020 --> 00:34:26,261
Please, we need to talk about
next month's meal plan.
528
00:34:26,356 --> 00:34:28,097
Obviously,
everyone hated the ceviche.
529
00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:29,477
I read the suggestion box.
530
00:34:29,568 --> 00:34:31,150
I'm gonna stop you right there.
531
00:34:31,236 --> 00:34:33,022
I see through this weak act.
532
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:37,490
You may have fooled Colossus
with this nice guy shit...
533
00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:38,820
but not me.
534
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:39,945
Don't be mean.
535
00:34:40,036 --> 00:34:41,322
Back Off, NTW.
536
00:34:41,413 --> 00:34:43,575
No, no, no. Let her go.
537
00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:44,780
Let her go, it's okay.
538
00:34:44,874 --> 00:34:46,410
She has a right to be skeptical.
539
00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:49,118
Look at me.
I'm an easy target.
540
00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:51,628
You know, historically,
541
00:34:51,715 --> 00:34:53,581
mischief has been my mistress...
542
00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:56,337
so I understand, you know.
But I like to think...
543
00:34:57,971 --> 00:34:59,928
that you guys have
really rubbed off on me.
544
00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:03,388
I like to think that I've
rubbed off around you, too.
545
00:35:05,353 --> 00:35:06,353
A lot.
546
00:35:07,355 --> 00:35:09,972
And for the first time
in a long while...
547
00:35:10,066 --> 00:35:11,227
I like me.
548
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:15,937
I accept your apology.
I never apologized.
549
00:35:16,031 --> 00:35:17,521
I was talking to your heart.
550
00:35:17,616 --> 00:35:19,983
See? You're not
lost cause you thought.
551
00:35:20,076 --> 00:35:23,239
I'm proud. You're everything
I knew you can be.
552
00:35:23,330 --> 00:35:24,616
Thank you, Colossus.
553
00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:26,973
Just trying to be
the world's best X-Man.
554
00:35:27,042 --> 00:35:28,453
Sorry, X-Person.
555
00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:32,662
Hmm. Something wrong
with the soap.
556
00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:34,338
It's fine.
557
00:35:34,424 --> 00:35:36,631
I just filled it. Give it
a few more pumps there.
558
00:35:37,844 --> 00:35:40,302
Now, if you'll excuse me...
559
00:35:40,388 --> 00:35:42,129
it's dust bunny season...
560
00:35:42,223 --> 00:35:43,223
and I'm hunting wabbits.
561
00:35:43,933 --> 00:35:45,048
Bye, Wade!
562
00:35:47,228 --> 00:35:49,765
Fuck.
Fuck you.
563
00:36:01,451 --> 00:36:03,988
No one is born perfect.
564
00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:06,036
But you can be.
565
00:36:06,122 --> 00:36:08,454
I know you're doing
what comes naturally.
566
00:36:12,754 --> 00:36:14,586
You can't help yourself.
567
00:36:18,468 --> 00:36:19,924
But you can.
568
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,257
It takes work, discipline...
569
00:36:23,723 --> 00:36:24,929
and treatment.
570
00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:26,677
Your abilities...
571
00:36:28,645 --> 00:36:30,636
I know how seductive they are.
572
00:36:31,481 --> 00:36:33,643
How powerful they make you feel.
573
00:36:34,651 --> 00:36:37,143
But you must learn
never to use them...
574
00:36:37,237 --> 00:36:39,820
so they will never use you.
575
00:36:46,079 --> 00:36:47,661
Please don't cry.
576
00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:50,080
I'm going to help.
577
00:36:50,166 --> 00:36:52,999
I'm gonna make you feel
what you should feel.
578
00:36:53,378 --> 00:36:54,789
How you need to feel...
579
00:36:55,922 --> 00:36:58,459
every time you're tempted
to act upon your urges.
580
00:36:59,342 --> 00:37:03,256
Suck my mutant dick,
you four-eyed fuck.
581
00:37:17,736 --> 00:37:18,942
Wade.
582
00:37:19,863 --> 00:37:20,863
Wade!
583
00:37:21,489 --> 00:37:23,526
Come in!
Hey, I was just doing
584
00:37:23,616 --> 00:37:25,152
a little bit
of light reading here...
585
00:37:25,577 --> 00:37:26,908
We have mission.
586
00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:28,526
Well, you guys be
safe out there.
587
00:37:28,621 --> 00:37:29,827
I'll be praying for you.
588
00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:32,326
No, I want you to join.
589
00:37:33,543 --> 00:37:34,658
I'm sorry, what?
590
00:37:34,753 --> 00:37:36,335
You heard me.
591
00:37:36,421 --> 00:37:38,662
Trust me,
that's a terrible idea.
592
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:39,875
I'm really not ready.
593
00:37:39,966 --> 00:37:41,456
You are ready.
I'm not.
594
00:37:41,718 --> 00:37:43,459
Be at the X-Jet in five.
595
00:37:43,636 --> 00:37:44,751
I can do thirty.
596
00:37:44,846 --> 00:37:46,757
Now.
I can do now.
597
00:37:46,848 --> 00:37:47,883
Final offer.
598
00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:50,633
Irene Merryweather, WHIT News.
599
00:37:50,727 --> 00:37:52,684
Live here
at a breaking news situation
600
00:37:52,771 --> 00:37:55,388
at the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation.
601
00:37:55,482 --> 00:37:57,393
A mutant boy
is appearing to have
602
00:37:57,484 --> 00:37:58,690
some sort of an incident...
603
00:37:58,777 --> 00:38:00,504
with police here behind me.
Get away from me!
604
00:38:00,528 --> 00:38:02,895
There are two police vehicles
that are overturned.
605
00:38:02,989 --> 00:38:04,467
There are open fires.
Fuck off! Stay back!
606
00:38:04,491 --> 00:38:05,551
A scene of absolute chaos here.
607
00:38:05,575 --> 00:38:06,575
Calm down.
608
00:38:06,659 --> 00:38:09,367
I'll burn you!
You stay back!
609
00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:11,820
Get away from me!
610
00:38:11,915 --> 00:38:14,407
You wanna fucking die?
611
00:38:29,432 --> 00:38:32,595
And it appears as if the X-Men
are arriving...
612
00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:33,685
Scatter!
613
00:38:34,270 --> 00:38:36,227
With what appears
to be a trainee.
614
00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:39,272
Everyone, calm down!
The pros are here. I...
615
00:38:39,359 --> 00:38:40,440
We're the X-Men!
616
00:38:40,527 --> 00:38:42,734
A dated metaphor for racism
in the '60s.
617
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:45,316
So, respect.
618
00:38:45,698 --> 00:38:46,938
At ease, Officer.
619
00:38:48,535 --> 00:38:50,071
What are you doing?
620
00:38:50,537 --> 00:38:51,777
My job!
621
00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:53,271
You're the one who said
I was ready,
622
00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:54,787
and I frankly disagreed
with you.
623
00:38:54,874 --> 00:38:57,241
But here we are, trying to
overcome our differences.
624
00:38:57,335 --> 00:38:59,747
Like Beyoncé says, "Please...
625
00:39:00,588 --> 00:39:01,919
"Please, stop cheating on me."
626
00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:03,087
Hey!
627
00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:04,505
This is the fifth incident.
628
00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:06,754
This kid needs to be
in the Ice Box, not here.
629
00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:08,461
Russell belongs in our care.
630
00:39:08,555 --> 00:39:10,296
Not in prison.
I assure you...
631
00:39:10,390 --> 00:39:11,534
we have everything
under control.
632
00:39:11,558 --> 00:39:12,593
Stay back!
I'll burn you!
633
00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:13,845
Not getting a real
634
00:39:13,935 --> 00:39:15,596
"under control"
vibe here, Marty.
635
00:39:16,062 --> 00:39:18,053
It is Glen, isn't it?
Daniel.
636
00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:19,387
I'll ask the questions, Miguel.
637
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:20,726
Let me talk to the kid.
638
00:39:20,817 --> 00:39:25,653
You stay here with your weird,
secret sex lips.
639
00:39:27,407 --> 00:39:28,407
You wanna die?
640
00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:29,491
This kid's adorable.
641
00:39:29,576 --> 00:39:30,719
I don't know why I packed
the hollow points.
642
00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:31,858
I'll burn your balls off!
643
00:39:31,953 --> 00:39:34,570
First day.
I'm so nervous!
644
00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:36,863
Did you just say
"hollow points"?
645
00:39:36,958 --> 00:39:38,289
Yeah, probably should've
646
00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,413
brought a Super Soaker.
647
00:39:40,962 --> 00:39:41,962
Hi, there!
648
00:39:43,256 --> 00:39:45,714
Stay back or Justin Bieber dies!
649
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,293
Justin Bieber.
He called you Justin Bieber.
650
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:52,296
Hold on! Wait, wait, wait!
651
00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:55,473
Okay, let's not do
whatever that is.
652
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,016
Okay? Let's just talk!
653
00:39:57,103 --> 00:39:58,343
It's Russell, right?
654
00:39:58,771 --> 00:40:00,603
Firefist.
Firefist.
655
00:40:01,065 --> 00:40:03,272
Ooh, that's a great name.
Where does it burn?
656
00:40:03,359 --> 00:40:05,159
Just the fist, or all the way
up to the elbow?
657
00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:12,441
Definitely all
the way up to the elbow.
658
00:40:12,535 --> 00:40:14,526
Come quietly,
or there will be trouble.
659
00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:17,745
You stole that from Robocop!
That's from Robocop!
660
00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:19,831
Just stand down!
661
00:40:19,918 --> 00:40:21,955
You're embarrassing me.
Look, Fire...
662
00:40:23,379 --> 00:40:25,666
Oh, my God! I can't say it!
I'm so sorry!
663
00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:33,966
Oh, shit!
That fucking does it!
664
00:40:34,474 --> 00:40:35,805
Put your hands behind your knees
665
00:40:35,892 --> 00:40:37,348
and get down on your head! Now!
666
00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:39,642
Wade! What was first rule?
667
00:40:39,729 --> 00:40:41,640
Label everything
in the refrigerator!
668
00:40:41,731 --> 00:40:44,314
Do not escalate!
Rules are meant to be broken!
669
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,765
That's the exact opposite
670
00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:47,225
of what they're meant for!
671
00:40:48,237 --> 00:40:49,693
Fuck! Fine!
672
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:51,439
I'll start from the beginning.
673
00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:54,240
My name is Deadpool,
and I'm an X-Man.
674
00:40:54,327 --> 00:40:56,284
Trainee!
Shut it!
675
00:40:57,205 --> 00:40:59,492
Look, I get it.
676
00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:02,283
All right, you're scared.
677
00:41:02,835 --> 00:41:03,870
Alone.
678
00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:04,997
You got no family.
679
00:41:05,088 --> 00:41:06,148
I didn't have a family, either.
680
00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:07,879
You live in this dump.
Guess what?
681
00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:09,673
I used to live in a shithole
just like it.
682
00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:11,879
But you know something?
683
00:41:11,970 --> 00:41:13,677
A wise woman once said to me...
684
00:41:13,763 --> 00:41:15,128
"Speak up.
685
00:41:15,223 --> 00:41:17,430
"I can't hear you with that
pity dick in your mouth."
686
00:41:18,142 --> 00:41:19,724
Too much? I went too far.
687
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:29,225
That was effervescent.
688
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,231
Stay in school, kid.
689
00:41:31,614 --> 00:41:33,104
Or don't. I didn't.
690
00:41:33,491 --> 00:41:35,027
And I'm an X-Man.
691
00:41:35,118 --> 00:41:36,199
Trainee.
692
00:41:36,285 --> 00:41:37,616
Fuck it!
693
00:41:37,704 --> 00:41:39,445
Superhero landing coming up!
694
00:41:43,042 --> 00:41:44,658
Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck!
695
00:41:44,752 --> 00:41:46,584
That is so not practical.
696
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:09,349
I could get used
to this X-Man shit.
697
00:42:09,444 --> 00:42:10,444
Trainee!
698
00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:11,563
Trainee!
699
00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:13,686
Get a power restraint
on him. Now!
700
00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:16,990
Calm down, squirt.
It's over. We got ya.
701
00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:20,360
What's that do?
702
00:42:20,455 --> 00:42:21,911
Power-dampening collar.
703
00:42:21,998 --> 00:42:23,278
Shuts down all mutant abilities.
704
00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:26,116
You can't get it off.
Unless you've got a grenade.
705
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:29,168
Huh. Could've used
one of those in the first act.
706
00:42:29,255 --> 00:42:30,495
Thank you!
707
00:42:32,341 --> 00:42:34,548
That was absolutely thrilling.
708
00:42:34,635 --> 00:42:36,626
True heroism in action.
709
00:42:36,888 --> 00:42:38,549
We are in your debt.
710
00:42:39,348 --> 00:42:40,964
We can take it from here.
711
00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:43,221
Take me to the Ice Box, please!
712
00:42:43,311 --> 00:42:44,472
Anywhere's better than here.
713
00:42:44,562 --> 00:42:45,768
Believe me, son,
714
00:42:45,855 --> 00:42:47,562
you do not wanna go
to the Ice Box.
715
00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:50,140
That place makes Hitler's anus
look like Waikiki.
716
00:42:50,276 --> 00:42:52,108
Let's get you inside, young man.
717
00:42:52,195 --> 00:42:54,152
No, wait, wait. Wait.
718
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:55,728
You guys stay there.
719
00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:07,449
Those guys hurt you?
720
00:43:08,878 --> 00:43:09,913
Who?
721
00:43:11,964 --> 00:43:14,672
Baldilocks? Jared Kushner?
722
00:43:16,135 --> 00:43:17,625
Both of 'em?
723
00:43:21,349 --> 00:43:23,010
Oh, fuck it.
724
00:43:23,101 --> 00:43:24,637
Four or five moments!
725
00:43:24,727 --> 00:43:25,727
I'm sorry?
726
00:43:25,812 --> 00:43:28,975
Four or five moments!
727
00:43:30,233 --> 00:43:32,975
That's all it takes
to be a hero.
728
00:43:34,028 --> 00:43:36,019
People think
you wake up a hero...
729
00:43:36,364 --> 00:43:37,980
brush your teeth a hero...
730
00:43:38,574 --> 00:43:41,066
ejaculate into
a soap dispenser a hero.
731
00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:46,613
But, no, being a hero
takes only a few moments!
732
00:43:47,959 --> 00:43:49,575
A few moments...
733
00:43:49,669 --> 00:43:52,286
doing the ugly stuff
no one else will do.
734
00:43:55,842 --> 00:43:56,957
No!
735
00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:00,843
Stand down!
Hold your fire!
736
00:44:00,930 --> 00:44:03,217
Wade, what did you do?
Colossus, no!
737
00:44:03,307 --> 00:44:06,550
You were right, Wade.
You are not X-Men material.
738
00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:08,885
No shit, Shiny Gandhi!
739
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:10,436
What was your first clue?
740
00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:13,311
The hollow point
through that fuckheads face?
741
00:44:13,693 --> 00:44:14,933
That kid was abused!
742
00:44:15,027 --> 00:44:16,813
You can always tell!
We have rules!
743
00:44:17,113 --> 00:44:19,821
You are not judge,
jury or executioner!
744
00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:22,820
Fuck your rules!
I fight for what's right!
745
00:44:22,910 --> 00:44:24,492
And sometimes
you gotta fight dirty!
746
00:44:24,787 --> 00:44:27,825
You let me down
for the last time, Wade.
747
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,201
Okay, get these guys in the pod.
748
00:44:33,296 --> 00:44:35,458
Take them to the Ice Box.
749
00:44:56,110 --> 00:44:57,110
Hey, baby!
750
00:44:58,196 --> 00:45:00,403
I wonder what gang I'll be in.
751
00:45:00,489 --> 00:45:01,854
Yeah!
752
00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:04,274
Is there, like, a Sorting Hat?
Hi.
753
00:45:06,162 --> 00:45:07,527
I've always seen myself as
754
00:45:07,622 --> 00:45:08,987
more of
an East Coast Hufflepuff.
755
00:45:10,499 --> 00:45:13,457
I've made a critical error
on my Airbnb reservation.
756
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:17,378
This is not what the website
looked like at all.
757
00:45:18,966 --> 00:45:20,673
I love the decor though.
758
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,671
I had no idea
hopeless was a color.
759
00:45:22,762 --> 00:45:24,002
Hard left, douchebag.
760
00:45:28,517 --> 00:45:29,678
Please, after you.
761
00:45:31,896 --> 00:45:34,558
Another disgusting minority
off the streets.
762
00:45:34,649 --> 00:45:35,730
We'll sleep well tonight.
763
00:45:35,816 --> 00:45:36,816
Let's get a bagel.
764
00:45:40,112 --> 00:45:42,945
Nighty-night,
you annoying prick!
765
00:46:18,734 --> 00:46:20,566
You're a long way
from your superpowers.
766
00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:23,020
Yeah. Just a touch of cancer.
767
00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:25,572
Not to worry, we're old friends.
768
00:46:25,658 --> 00:46:26,819
Fuck!
769
00:46:26,909 --> 00:46:28,570
I wanted to be a superhero.
770
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,031
Always wanted a real super suit.
771
00:46:31,122 --> 00:46:32,658
What happened?
772
00:46:32,748 --> 00:46:34,868
When was the last time you saw
a plus-sized superhero?
773
00:46:35,501 --> 00:46:36,662
Never
774
00:46:37,044 --> 00:46:38,830
The industry discriminates.
775
00:46:39,922 --> 00:46:41,458
Fuck superheroes.
776
00:46:42,049 --> 00:46:44,256
The thing that
pisses me off the most...
777
00:46:44,343 --> 00:46:46,175
I never stood up
for myself in there.
778
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:49,591
My whole life.
779
00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:54,225
I've been waiting for someone
to come and save me.
780
00:46:56,647 --> 00:46:59,605
Nobody's gonna sacrifice
anything for me.
781
00:47:03,738 --> 00:47:05,979
I gotta start taking care
of myself.
782
00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:09,157
I have a mission now.
783
00:47:10,119 --> 00:47:12,736
The first thing I wanna do
when I get out of here...
784
00:47:12,830 --> 00:47:15,117
burn the headmaster alive...
785
00:47:15,207 --> 00:47:17,790
and then take a selfie
with his smoldering corpse.
786
00:47:18,961 --> 00:47:21,373
Aw. That's, like,
my favorite part of the Bible.
787
00:47:23,132 --> 00:47:25,043
I don't have
a sock puppet on me...
788
00:47:25,676 --> 00:47:27,132
but what did he do to you?
789
00:47:27,762 --> 00:47:29,298
Did he taste the rainbow?
790
00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:31,425
I'd whisper it,
but Skittles would sue us.
791
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,216
Fucker hates mutants.
792
00:47:34,685 --> 00:47:36,551
He tried to beat
the genes out of us.
793
00:47:36,645 --> 00:47:39,182
Nothing worse than a "pray
the gay away" type guy.
794
00:47:39,982 --> 00:47:41,347
Sick piece of shit.
795
00:47:42,777 --> 00:47:46,441
Tomorrow, we'll find
the biggest guy in here...
796
00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:49,067
and we'll make him our bitch!
797
00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:54,323
What was that?
798
00:47:54,413 --> 00:47:56,370
That is the biggest guy in here.
799
00:47:57,041 --> 00:47:59,078
Fun fact about the Ice Box...
800
00:47:59,168 --> 00:48:00,954
though no one's ever seen it,
801
00:48:01,045 --> 00:48:03,207
they keep a monster
in the basement.
802
00:48:03,297 --> 00:48:05,004
Right next to a huge,
803
00:48:05,091 --> 00:48:06,627
steaming bowl of foreshadowing.
804
00:48:07,259 --> 00:48:08,259
Look.
805
00:48:09,261 --> 00:48:11,172
I can't protect you.
806
00:48:11,555 --> 00:48:12,670
With this collar on,
807
00:48:12,765 --> 00:48:15,848
my superpower
is just unbridled cancer.
808
00:48:15,935 --> 00:48:18,802
Give me a bow and arrow,
I'm basically Hawkeye.
809
00:48:19,438 --> 00:48:21,475
Now, if you'll excuse me...
810
00:48:21,565 --> 00:48:24,728
I've got tumors to grow.
Vanessa awaits.
811
00:48:24,819 --> 00:48:27,060
I'll start by making us a shank.
812
00:48:27,321 --> 00:48:29,187
Good listening.
I stole that guard's pen...
813
00:48:29,281 --> 00:48:31,192
and stashed it
in the old prison wallet,
814
00:48:31,283 --> 00:48:32,648
if you know what I'm saying.
815
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:35,201
I really hope I don't know
what you're saying.
816
00:48:37,289 --> 00:48:39,576
I know it's in there,
I just need to get it out.
817
00:48:39,667 --> 00:48:41,578
Oh, Jesus Christ.
818
00:48:41,836 --> 00:48:44,077
I can hear you
rummaging around in there.
819
00:48:44,505 --> 00:48:46,621
Do they make Purell
for your ears?
820
00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:52,760
And to update you
821
00:48:52,847 --> 00:48:54,178
on the story reported earlier,
822
00:48:54,265 --> 00:48:55,801
after a lengthy standoff
823
00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:58,553
outside the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation...
824
00:48:58,644 --> 00:48:59,930
two mutants were arrested
825
00:49:00,020 --> 00:49:01,636
and transported
to the Ice Box...
826
00:49:01,814 --> 00:49:03,179
Entering repair mode.
827
00:49:07,611 --> 00:49:09,047
Several
police cars were destroyed
828
00:49:09,071 --> 00:49:11,062
and the X-Men were called in
to restore order.
829
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:34,260
Cells seven and nine
830
00:49:34,346 --> 00:49:37,680
now off-limits
for medical personnel.
831
00:49:37,766 --> 00:49:39,222
Cells seven and nine
832
00:49:39,310 --> 00:49:42,052
now off-limits
for medical personnel.
833
00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:45,179
Psst!
834
00:49:47,485 --> 00:49:49,317
Don't do that.
835
00:49:49,904 --> 00:49:52,737
What? Why are you winking at me?
836
00:49:56,368 --> 00:49:57,733
I got your back.
837
00:49:57,828 --> 00:49:58,989
Oh, my God.
838
00:49:59,079 --> 00:50:00,535
You're sick,
I gotta protect you.
839
00:50:00,623 --> 00:50:02,534
Just leave me alone, kid.
840
00:50:03,667 --> 00:50:04,748
Oh, great.
841
00:50:06,587 --> 00:50:09,079
Well, hello there, new fish.
842
00:50:09,173 --> 00:50:12,086
It's nice to see some
fresh faces around here.
843
00:50:12,259 --> 00:50:14,466
I've done some
light catalog work...
844
00:50:14,553 --> 00:50:17,011
but, really, modeling is just
a stepping stone to acting.
845
00:50:17,097 --> 00:50:19,008
I was talking to him.
Oh.
846
00:50:19,934 --> 00:50:22,926
Have we met?
I can't place your mustache.
847
00:50:23,354 --> 00:50:25,971
Black Tom Cassidy.
White Wade Wilson.
848
00:50:26,065 --> 00:50:29,183
What's your superpower?
Cultural appropriation?
849
00:50:29,527 --> 00:50:32,064
You're supposed to be
the toughest cunt in here.
850
00:50:32,154 --> 00:50:33,815
You don't look like much to me.
851
00:50:34,740 --> 00:50:37,152
First rule of the yard,
fuckface...
852
00:50:37,243 --> 00:50:38,843
find the biggest guy
and make him your...
853
00:50:43,123 --> 00:50:45,285
Second biggest guy.
854
00:50:45,376 --> 00:50:47,617
The last thing I need
is more hepatitis.
855
00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:51,371
Oh, it's slippery, too.
This table needs a wipe down!
856
00:50:51,465 --> 00:50:52,865
Can we get a wipe down
on the table?
857
00:50:54,593 --> 00:50:56,209
Kid, I think you picked
the wrong side.
858
00:50:56,887 --> 00:50:59,174
No, I didn't!
He's my friend!
859
00:50:59,265 --> 00:51:01,506
Zip it. We're not friends.
860
00:51:03,227 --> 00:51:04,507
You're about to get
dick-slapped.
861
00:51:16,865 --> 00:51:18,572
I had so much fun!
You were like...
862
00:51:18,659 --> 00:51:20,696
And I was like,
"Take a seat, shit dick."
863
00:51:20,786 --> 00:51:21,901
Just let me die in peace.
864
00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:24,321
We make a great team!
865
00:51:24,748 --> 00:51:27,285
Oh, God! We're not a team.
866
00:51:27,376 --> 00:51:31,665
Why'd you say that back there?
We're friends, partners.
867
00:51:31,755 --> 00:51:34,167
We're not partners or friends.
868
00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:37,630
This doesn't end with us
riding into the sunset.
869
00:51:37,720 --> 00:51:39,882
It ends with me
dying of cancer...
870
00:51:39,972 --> 00:51:43,510
and you winning the Ice Box
award for softest mouth.
871
00:51:45,269 --> 00:51:46,805
There's only one person
in this world
872
00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:48,681
that I care about,
and she's gone.
873
00:51:50,482 --> 00:51:52,473
You wanna survive?
874
00:51:53,694 --> 00:51:56,982
Stop trying to shank
the biggest guys in here...
875
00:51:57,072 --> 00:51:58,938
and make friends with them.
876
00:52:00,242 --> 00:52:01,824
Make friends with someone.
877
00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:04,660
Anyone but me.
878
00:52:05,831 --> 00:52:08,163
Maybe even Black Tim.
879
00:52:09,084 --> 00:52:10,620
Black Evan, I don't know.
880
00:52:10,711 --> 00:52:13,203
All I remember is
he was African-American.
881
00:52:58,676 --> 00:53:00,713
System malfunctioning.
882
00:53:00,803 --> 00:53:04,137
Cells 7, 12, 14, 27.
883
00:53:04,223 --> 00:53:06,430
Back in your cells, you filthy
mutants! Get in there!
884
00:53:06,517 --> 00:53:09,805
Cells 1, 3, 7, 8.
885
00:53:11,021 --> 00:53:12,386
Searching.
886
00:53:13,941 --> 00:53:16,308
Cell 04 located.
887
00:53:17,695 --> 00:53:19,311
Door won't open!
888
00:53:19,863 --> 00:53:21,479
On your fucking knees!
889
00:53:58,444 --> 00:54:00,151
That was our cell.
890
00:54:02,281 --> 00:54:04,522
What did I do to piss off
a grumpy old fucker
891
00:54:04,616 --> 00:54:05,777
with a Winter Soldier arm?
892
00:54:15,043 --> 00:54:16,954
Get away from me, kid!
893
00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:25,801
Listen to me! Go!
894
00:54:31,310 --> 00:54:32,596
Hello, Russell.
895
00:55:56,019 --> 00:55:58,056
I don't bargain.
896
00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:17,206
Who are you?
897
00:56:18,083 --> 00:56:19,323
I'm Batman.
898
00:56:30,762 --> 00:56:31,797
Ooh!
899
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:39,427
Oh. That's got some zip.
900
00:56:47,946 --> 00:56:50,734
Don't feel bad.
Even I can't kill me.
901
00:56:51,450 --> 00:56:52,485
Talk!
902
00:56:53,035 --> 00:56:54,776
What kind of
spineless shit stick
903
00:56:54,870 --> 00:56:56,235
tries to kill a 14-year-old boy?
904
00:56:57,539 --> 00:56:58,739
You might wanna start talking!
905
00:56:58,790 --> 00:57:01,202
'Cause I got a long history of
firing at times like this!
906
00:57:02,711 --> 00:57:04,201
The name's Cable.
907
00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:07,417
I'm from the future.
Just walk away.
908
00:57:08,091 --> 00:57:09,377
Oh!
909
00:57:09,468 --> 00:57:10,924
So, you're from the future.
910
00:57:11,470 --> 00:57:13,302
I have three questions then.
911
00:57:13,472 --> 00:57:16,635
One, is dubstep still a thing?
912
00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:19,558
Two, do people still homebrew?
913
00:57:19,645 --> 00:57:22,228
And three,
does Dopinder ever find love?
914
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:08,107
Dubstep's for pussies.
915
00:58:08,193 --> 00:58:09,354
You're so dark!
916
00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:11,651
Are you sure you're not
from the DC universe?
917
00:58:12,406 --> 00:58:13,896
I love dubstep!
918
00:58:40,225 --> 00:58:41,636
Is that a fanny pack?
919
00:58:41,727 --> 00:58:44,310
I used to have one of those
in 1990-never.
920
00:58:45,272 --> 00:58:47,354
Something to remember you by.
921
00:58:47,441 --> 00:58:51,150
Give me that back!
That goes with me everywhere.
922
00:58:51,236 --> 00:58:53,603
Like the memory
of your fucking fanny pack!
923
00:59:03,331 --> 00:59:05,413
Why are you protecting the kid?
924
00:59:06,752 --> 00:59:08,663
I don't give a fuck about him...
925
00:59:09,087 --> 00:59:11,499
and his Are You My Mother?
Complex!
926
00:59:13,842 --> 00:59:15,082
What's this one do?
927
00:59:29,274 --> 00:59:30,856
In every film, there's a moment
928
00:59:30,942 --> 00:59:33,274
when the hero hits rock bottom.
929
00:59:33,361 --> 00:59:35,272
In Cool Runnings,
it was when John Candy's
930
00:59:35,363 --> 00:59:36,649
prized bobs/ed broke.
931
00:59:37,365 --> 00:59:40,073
In Human Centipede,
it was when those people...
932
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:41,696
signed on to be in that movie.
933
00:59:41,787 --> 00:59:43,243
But in this film, well...
934
00:59:43,955 --> 00:59:45,116
you're looking at it.
935
00:59:45,207 --> 00:59:46,948
On your fucking knees, mutant.
936
00:59:49,878 --> 00:59:50,878
Rock...
937
00:59:54,925 --> 00:59:56,415
meet bottom.
938
01:00:07,104 --> 01:00:08,185
I love you, Wade Wilson.
939
01:00:08,271 --> 01:00:09,477
Ness?
940
01:00:10,524 --> 01:00:11,980
Hey, Ness!
941
01:00:12,859 --> 01:00:14,645
Ness, can you let me in?
942
01:00:14,736 --> 01:00:16,818
Please! Please.
943
01:00:18,990 --> 01:00:20,071
Jesus.
944
01:00:23,036 --> 01:00:24,796
You're not giving me
a lot of direction here.
945
01:00:24,830 --> 01:00:26,616
I'm at the end of my rope.
946
01:00:29,126 --> 01:00:31,367
Then I joined the X-Men.
947
01:00:31,545 --> 01:00:33,377
I went to prison. I, uh...
948
01:00:37,467 --> 01:00:38,957
Is it the kid?
949
01:00:41,012 --> 01:00:43,925
Kids give us a chance to be
better than we used to be.
950
01:00:45,350 --> 01:00:46,350
The kid!
951
01:01:00,407 --> 01:01:01,693
That's exactly what she meant.
952
01:01:01,783 --> 01:01:03,052
Your heart needs to be
in the right place.
953
01:01:03,076 --> 01:01:04,908
I'm not gonna abandon this kid.
954
01:01:04,995 --> 01:01:07,578
He's never had anyone, ever.
955
01:01:07,664 --> 01:01:08,950
I need to be selfless.
956
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:10,951
Yeah, but what does that mean?
957
01:01:11,042 --> 01:01:14,160
It means I'm gonna save Russell.
958
01:01:14,337 --> 01:01:15,827
Maybe I couldn't save Vanessa...
959
01:01:15,922 --> 01:01:18,880
but maybe I can save a robust
teenager from New Zealand.
960
01:01:18,967 --> 01:01:21,028
Yeah, but what I mean is,
like, the world "selfless."
961
01:01:21,052 --> 01:01:22,572
I literally don't know
what that means.
962
01:01:22,637 --> 01:01:23,752
Jesus Christ.
963
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:26,555
Okay, look.
According to my guy, okay...
964
01:01:26,641 --> 01:01:28,382
those muties
are being transferred
965
01:01:28,476 --> 01:01:30,262
to a supermax, 80 miles away.
966
01:01:30,353 --> 01:01:32,139
Great, I'll pick 'em off
along the way.
967
01:01:32,230 --> 01:01:34,346
Hold your testicles there,
buddy, okay?
968
01:01:34,441 --> 01:01:36,398
We're talking about
an armored convoy...
969
01:01:36,484 --> 01:01:39,067
and a vicious super soldier
from the future...
970
01:01:39,154 --> 01:01:41,486
that is looking to turn your
skull into a fuckable ashtray.
971
01:01:41,573 --> 01:01:42,984
You know what we need to do?
972
01:01:43,074 --> 01:01:44,815
We need to build a fucking team.
973
01:01:44,993 --> 01:01:47,030
We need 'em tough,
morally flexible...
974
01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:48,485
and young enough
so they can carry
975
01:01:48,580 --> 01:01:49,765
this franchise 10 to 12 years.
976
01:01:49,789 --> 01:01:51,621
A team of
highly-skilled motherfuckers.
977
01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:54,700
I'm talking about some
Ocean's 14 shit. Rogue Two.
978
01:01:54,794 --> 01:01:57,161
John Wick 3, but with
the original director.
979
01:01:57,255 --> 01:01:59,121
My body is an
instrument of death.
980
01:01:59,216 --> 01:02:00,547
Not now, Dopinder.
981
01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:02,045
I could be of great use.
982
01:02:02,135 --> 01:02:03,717
What's your superpower?
983
01:02:05,513 --> 01:02:07,129
Courage.
That's adorable.
984
01:02:07,224 --> 01:02:08,904
Do you have the courage
to check and see...
985
01:02:08,934 --> 01:02:11,266
if there are enough sanitary
napkins in the dispenser?
986
01:02:11,353 --> 01:02:12,353
Yes, sir.
987
01:02:12,437 --> 01:02:13,677
I'm sorry you had to see that,
988
01:02:13,772 --> 01:02:15,262
although I'm glad you heard it.
989
01:02:16,149 --> 01:02:18,015
All right, I'll put out
a call for resumes.
990
01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:20,316
But we're not paying
medical or dental.
991
01:02:20,403 --> 01:02:22,440
It's time to get back
on Linkedln.
992
01:02:59,317 --> 01:03:00,853
Attention, all inmates!
993
01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:03,394
Transport to Cross Force
Maximum Security
994
01:03:03,488 --> 01:03:04,853
Mutant Containment Facility...
995
01:03:05,031 --> 01:03:06,863
will begin at 0800 hours.
996
01:03:07,033 --> 01:03:08,990
Inspection of your cells
and out processing
997
01:03:09,077 --> 01:03:11,114
will begin at 0600.
998
01:03:19,421 --> 01:03:20,421
Oi.
999
01:03:20,547 --> 01:03:21,878
What the fuck do you want?
1000
01:03:21,965 --> 01:03:23,751
That's my fucking pudding.
1001
01:03:23,842 --> 01:03:25,242
Fuck your pudding!
You like pudding?
1002
01:03:46,865 --> 01:03:47,865
Hello?
1003
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:52,492
I know you're in there.
1004
01:04:08,178 --> 01:04:10,465
Must be hard
being the biggest guy in here.
1005
01:04:11,765 --> 01:04:14,006
Lonely at the top, eh?
1006
01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:16,057
They're moving us tomorrow.
1007
01:04:18,521 --> 01:04:20,307
Maybe I can get you out of here.
1008
01:04:21,524 --> 01:04:24,687
And we can make
the whole world our bitch.
1009
01:04:26,529 --> 01:04:28,270
We need a secret code.
1010
01:04:31,326 --> 01:04:33,943
No,
that's stupid, Russell. Idiot.
1011
01:04:41,211 --> 01:04:42,701
We're a team.
1012
01:04:42,796 --> 01:04:44,707
We're like thugs,
we're like gangsters.
1013
01:04:44,798 --> 01:04:46,755
I'm like Tupac,
and you're like Ice Cube.
1014
01:04:48,468 --> 01:04:49,570
Supposedly, she can rap, too.
1015
01:04:49,594 --> 01:04:50,675
Yeah.
1016
01:04:50,762 --> 01:04:51,762
I like that.
1017
01:04:51,846 --> 01:04:53,257
Terrific,
these are all terrific.
1018
01:04:53,515 --> 01:04:55,222
Meet Bedlam.
1019
01:04:55,308 --> 01:04:57,470
Cool name! Superpowers?
1020
01:04:57,602 --> 01:04:59,092
I can distort electrical fields.
1021
01:05:00,355 --> 01:05:02,517
Including the one
inside your brain...
1022
01:05:02,607 --> 01:05:05,269
causing anxiety, confusion...
1023
01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:06,441
pain.
1024
01:05:07,404 --> 01:05:09,441
So, basically,
you're Dave Matthews.
1025
01:05:09,531 --> 01:05:10,692
We can use him.
1026
01:05:12,450 --> 01:05:13,986
I'm Zeitgeist.
1027
01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:15,400
Cool. I like it.
1028
01:05:15,495 --> 01:05:16,735
So you have the power
1029
01:05:16,830 --> 01:05:19,162
to put your finger
on the pulse of society?
1030
01:05:20,208 --> 01:05:21,323
No.
1031
01:05:21,418 --> 01:05:22,954
No, I spit acidic vomit.
1032
01:05:23,044 --> 01:05:24,125
Oh.
Do you want me
1033
01:05:24,212 --> 01:05:25,543
to demonstrate?
No!
1034
01:05:25,630 --> 01:05:26,961
We'll take your word for it.
1035
01:05:27,048 --> 01:05:29,288
Thank you. Yeah. Listen,
we've all eaten at Arby's, okay?
1036
01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:31,959
And this is the Vanisher.
1037
01:05:35,306 --> 01:05:36,306
But...
1038
01:05:37,475 --> 01:05:38,931
Vanisher!
1039
01:05:41,479 --> 01:05:43,140
Nice!
Right?
1040
01:05:44,441 --> 01:05:45,522
He's not here, is he?
1041
01:05:45,608 --> 01:05:47,144
He may be running late.
1042
01:05:48,736 --> 01:05:51,194
My name's Rusty,
but I go by Shatterstar.
1043
01:05:51,614 --> 01:05:52,820
That's good, yeah.
1044
01:05:52,907 --> 01:05:54,989
"Rusty" is terrible.
Toughie.
1045
01:05:55,076 --> 01:05:57,784
So, uh, where are you from?
The planet Mojo World.
1046
01:05:57,954 --> 01:05:59,945
So you're an alien, I guess.
Bad name.
1047
01:06:00,039 --> 01:06:01,655
How does that, uh, help us?
1048
01:06:01,749 --> 01:06:04,537
I'm basically better
than you at everything.
1049
01:06:04,711 --> 01:06:06,431
Just once, I'm gonna find
a planet of people
1050
01:06:06,463 --> 01:06:07,999
that are worse than me
at everything.
1051
01:06:08,089 --> 01:06:10,251
A whole bunch
of functional idiots.
1052
01:06:10,341 --> 01:06:12,278
I'm gonna go there, and I'm
gonna be their Superman.
1053
01:06:12,302 --> 01:06:13,383
Isn't that Canada?
1054
01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:15,882
You shut your
goddamn trash mouth!
1055
01:06:17,056 --> 01:06:18,512
Meet... Domino.
1056
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:20,307
What's your shtick?
I'm lucky.
1057
01:06:20,685 --> 01:06:21,685
That's not a superpower.
1058
01:06:22,145 --> 01:06:23,145
Yeah, it is.
No, it isn't.
1059
01:06:23,313 --> 01:06:24,519
Yes, it is.
No, it isn't.
1060
01:06:24,606 --> 01:06:25,606
Yeah, it is.
No, it isn't.
1061
01:06:25,690 --> 01:06:26,690
Yes, it is.
No, it isn't.
1062
01:06:26,774 --> 01:06:27,774
Yeah, it is.
Really isn't.
1063
01:06:27,859 --> 01:06:28,940
No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.
1064
01:06:29,110 --> 01:06:30,110
Told you.
1065
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:31,526
Get out of my head!
1066
01:06:31,696 --> 01:06:33,278
I'm not in your head.
1067
01:06:33,364 --> 01:06:34,644
I'm in an 11-year-old's bedroom.
1068
01:06:34,741 --> 01:06:35,856
Well, if you're so lucky,
1069
01:06:35,950 --> 01:06:37,486
then what are you
doing here with us?
1070
01:06:37,577 --> 01:06:38,658
I don't know yet.
1071
01:06:38,745 --> 01:06:39,805
What's that supposed to mean?
1072
01:06:39,829 --> 01:06:41,599
There's a reason why I'm here,
and I'll know when I know.
1073
01:06:41,623 --> 01:06:43,434
Everything usually
just kind of works out for me.
1074
01:06:43,458 --> 01:06:45,290
Like 2008 Ryan Reynolds.
1075
01:06:46,586 --> 01:06:47,667
I don't know who that is.
1076
01:06:47,754 --> 01:06:48,915
You're hired.
1077
01:06:49,297 --> 01:06:50,297
Lucky me.
1078
01:06:50,381 --> 01:06:51,587
I like her!
1079
01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:54,003
And last, but not least...
1080
01:06:54,093 --> 01:06:55,208
Peter.
1081
01:06:56,596 --> 01:06:58,553
Am I getting
catfished here or...?
1082
01:06:59,182 --> 01:07:01,048
Any powers you wanna
tell us about?
1083
01:07:01,142 --> 01:07:02,223
PETER; No.
1084
01:07:02,769 --> 01:07:04,430
I don't have one.
1085
01:07:04,521 --> 01:07:05,807
Um, I just saw the ad.
1086
01:07:05,897 --> 01:07:07,604
No superpowers at all?
1087
01:07:07,690 --> 01:07:10,808
Uh, I have both
Type 1 and 2 Diabetes.
1088
01:07:11,319 --> 01:07:12,605
OW! Oh!
1089
01:07:12,695 --> 01:07:13,810
That's all the diabetes.
1090
01:07:13,905 --> 01:07:15,145
Right?
Yeah, you got 'em all.
1091
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:17,151
If you find a Type 3,
let us know.
1092
01:07:17,659 --> 01:07:18,659
Yeah.
1093
01:07:18,743 --> 01:07:19,824
You're in.
1094
01:07:19,911 --> 01:07:21,401
Yeah.
Fuck!
1095
01:07:23,790 --> 01:07:25,201
It's fulfilling work.
1096
01:07:30,296 --> 01:07:31,582
Let's go!
1097
01:07:45,228 --> 01:07:47,765
This is Convoy 17
departing the Ice Box.
1098
01:07:47,855 --> 01:07:49,220
We are en route.
1099
01:07:56,823 --> 01:07:59,190
Peacetime makes people soft.
1100
01:08:00,785 --> 01:08:02,571
I was born into war.
1101
01:08:04,122 --> 01:08:05,283
Bred into it.
1102
01:08:06,416 --> 01:08:07,416
Okay-
1103
01:08:08,251 --> 01:08:10,583
What's the most pain
you've ever felt?
1104
01:08:12,547 --> 01:08:13,753
These restraints are pretty...
1105
01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:15,251
People think
they understand pain.
1106
01:08:15,758 --> 01:08:17,169
They have no concept of it
1107
01:08:17,260 --> 01:08:19,217
beyond their own
worst experience.
1108
01:08:20,805 --> 01:08:23,968
5 years old. That's what?
1109
01:08:24,058 --> 01:08:25,548
A bee sting.
1110
01:08:25,643 --> 01:08:26,724
Oh, yeah.
1111
01:08:26,811 --> 01:08:29,303
20 years old, shrapnel.
1112
01:08:29,397 --> 01:08:31,684
40 years old, disease.
1113
01:08:32,150 --> 01:08:36,644
Maybe the kind that leaves you
more machine than man.
1114
01:08:36,738 --> 01:08:38,138
Yeah, getting old's
not for sissies.
1115
01:08:38,197 --> 01:08:39,779
That's what my
Grandma Ginny used to...
1116
01:08:39,866 --> 01:08:41,072
I've got a list.
1117
01:08:41,826 --> 01:08:43,783
We're gonna work down it.
1118
01:08:44,495 --> 01:08:45,495
Together.
1119
01:08:46,664 --> 01:08:48,780
Number one,
I'm gonna bend something.
1120
01:08:49,751 --> 01:08:52,038
Something that was not
meant to bend.
1121
01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:53,230
I'm gonna stop you right there
1122
01:08:53,254 --> 01:08:54,607
because I'm not gonna
make it to two.
1123
01:08:54,631 --> 01:08:55,917
I won't even make it to one.
1124
01:08:56,007 --> 01:08:57,668
I don't do well with pain,
you know.
1125
01:08:57,759 --> 01:08:59,875
If I stub my toe,
I'm done for the day.
1126
01:09:00,178 --> 01:09:02,169
I cried when they
canceled Felicity.
1127
01:09:02,597 --> 01:09:04,450
When I get really scared,
I get nervous erections.
1128
01:09:04,474 --> 01:09:05,805
I have one right now.
1129
01:09:05,892 --> 01:09:07,428
Don't look.
It'll only make it worse.
1130
01:09:07,518 --> 01:09:08,621
I don't want you to hurt me,
1131
01:09:08,645 --> 01:09:10,886
and I'll tell you
anything you wanna know.
1132
01:09:11,856 --> 01:09:13,472
Except for where they are.
1133
01:09:14,067 --> 01:09:15,336
Russell's in a convoy
heading southbound
1134
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:16,566
on Gerry Duggan Parkway.
1135
01:09:16,653 --> 01:09:18,130
The monster's with them.
I wouldn't fuck with him.
1136
01:09:18,154 --> 01:09:19,565
You all know the plan.
1137
01:09:19,656 --> 01:09:21,363
Intercept the convoy,
1138
01:09:21,449 --> 01:09:23,406
grab the boy.
But not inappropriately!
1139
01:09:23,493 --> 01:09:24,493
You know what,
1140
01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:25,721
I wouldn't fuck with
Deadpool either.
1141
01:09:25,745 --> 01:09:28,533
Because he's built a team.
He's unstoppable.
1142
01:09:28,623 --> 01:09:31,285
He has an ass pen.
He'll stab you with it.
1143
01:09:31,376 --> 01:09:33,959
Watch out for this guy, Cable!
1144
01:09:34,045 --> 01:09:37,163
He's very short, 5'11".
Not like in the comics.
1145
01:09:37,340 --> 01:09:40,002
And if we succeed,
we all go home early.
1146
01:09:40,468 --> 01:09:42,254
So if you go after
them, Cable, I warn you...
1147
01:09:43,262 --> 01:09:44,844
there's a wind advisory
in effect.
1148
01:09:56,192 --> 01:09:57,774
A little turbulent up here.
1149
01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:06,942
I don't know much
about this Cable fella...
1150
01:10:07,036 --> 01:10:08,367
but I guarantee he hasn't killed
1151
01:10:08,454 --> 01:10:10,195
as many people as melanoma has.
1152
01:10:11,582 --> 01:10:12,663
We're getting close!
1153
01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:14,658
As a former X-Man...
1154
01:10:14,752 --> 01:10:16,618
Trainee.
Thank you, Bedlam.
1155
01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:19,045
I was always appalled
by the blatant sexism
1156
01:10:19,132 --> 01:10:20,668
in the group's name.
1157
01:10:20,758 --> 01:10:22,749
X-Men! Men!
1158
01:10:22,844 --> 01:10:25,802
The point is, our group
will be forward thinking.
1159
01:10:25,888 --> 01:10:27,174
Gender neutral.
1160
01:10:27,265 --> 01:10:29,552
From now on,
we'll be known as...
1161
01:10:31,811 --> 01:10:33,142
X-Force.
1162
01:10:33,229 --> 01:10:34,936
Isn't that a little derivative?
1163
01:10:35,022 --> 01:10:37,434
I don't recall asking
your opinion, Peter!
1164
01:10:38,693 --> 01:10:40,149
That wasn't me.
1165
01:10:47,201 --> 01:10:49,488
Hang the laundry out
at 1,300 feet...
1166
01:10:49,579 --> 01:10:51,365
intercept the convoy,
and grab the boy.
1167
01:10:51,456 --> 01:10:52,558
Let's bring on
the carnage, baby!
1168
01:10:52,582 --> 01:10:54,414
Get me on the ground,
watch me go!
1169
01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:55,500
Yeah!
1170
01:10:55,585 --> 01:10:57,326
I can't wait to kill!
1171
01:10:57,420 --> 01:10:59,081
Hey! Hey! Hey!
1172
01:11:00,214 --> 01:11:02,000
I just wanna say
how proud I am of this team.
1173
01:11:02,925 --> 01:11:05,758
You know, you guys look amazing!
1174
01:11:05,845 --> 01:11:08,678
Vanisher, I have no doubt
you look amazing too.
1175
01:11:08,765 --> 01:11:09,800
This is the family
1176
01:11:09,891 --> 01:11:11,571
that I've always dreamed
of having and I...
1177
01:11:12,393 --> 01:11:13,428
Ah, shit.
1178
01:11:15,062 --> 01:11:16,723
I just get a little choked up
sometimes.
1179
01:11:16,814 --> 01:11:18,600
I hate to interrupt,
but is anybody nervous
1180
01:11:18,691 --> 01:11:20,022
about the high winds?
1181
01:11:20,109 --> 01:11:21,395
Gary.
My name's Peter.
1182
01:11:21,486 --> 01:11:23,352
I realize that you're
new to this, but relax.
1183
01:11:23,446 --> 01:11:24,886
You've been chosen
by a higher power.
1184
01:11:25,156 --> 01:11:27,397
Did he just call himself God?
I think he did.
1185
01:11:27,492 --> 01:11:29,028
I'd like to go home.
And I'd like...
1186
01:11:29,118 --> 01:11:31,576
the McRib to be available
year round,
1187
01:11:31,662 --> 01:11:33,448
but sometimes dreams
don't come true.
1188
01:11:33,539 --> 01:11:35,655
I spent 10 years
in Special Forces.
1189
01:11:35,750 --> 01:11:36,894
You think we didn't
jump out of the plane
1190
01:11:36,918 --> 01:11:38,283
because of a light breeze?
1191
01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:41,161
You're in this shit now,
Mustache!
1192
01:11:41,255 --> 01:11:43,166
I'm only yelling
to impress the other guys.
1193
01:11:43,257 --> 01:11:45,168
I'd never let anything
happen to you, Sugarbear.
1194
01:11:45,635 --> 01:11:47,751
Leonard, hit it!
1195
01:11:56,521 --> 01:11:58,558
Go! Go! Go!
1196
01:12:34,267 --> 01:12:35,632
Let's get some!
1197
01:12:35,726 --> 01:12:36,841
Whoo!
1198
01:12:36,936 --> 01:12:38,051
Oh. yeah!
1199
01:12:38,145 --> 01:12:40,978
Convoy, 12 o'clock!
On my command!
1200
01:12:42,024 --> 01:12:43,480
Deploy! Oh, hey now!
1201
01:12:43,568 --> 01:12:44,808
Whoa!
1202
01:12:50,074 --> 01:12:51,985
Little off course here.
1203
01:12:54,161 --> 01:12:56,994
Holy mommy fucking shit!
1204
01:12:57,748 --> 01:12:59,159
Ah, there they are.
1205
01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:02,333
Look at these gorgeous
sons of bitches.
1206
01:13:02,879 --> 01:13:04,790
Oh, yeah!
That's right, Bedlam!
1207
01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:13,800
No! Tripping
motherfucking billies!
1208
01:13:14,223 --> 01:13:17,306
Shatterstar.
Okay, you got this.
1209
01:13:18,060 --> 01:13:20,472
Left!
1210
01:13:20,563 --> 01:13:22,770
You'd have to be insane
to take off in this.
1211
01:13:22,857 --> 01:13:25,064
No, stage left, you idiot!
1212
01:13:28,988 --> 01:13:30,478
Well, I guess we found something
1213
01:13:30,573 --> 01:13:31,654
you're not better at.
1214
01:13:33,868 --> 01:13:35,154
Vanisher.
1215
01:13:35,244 --> 01:13:36,985
Maybe the wind can't blow
what it can't see.
1216
01:13:40,124 --> 01:13:41,535
On! Really?
1217
01:13:41,626 --> 01:13:43,412
All right,
we could do this with four.
1218
01:13:44,003 --> 01:13:46,961
Sugarbear.
You got this, buddy!
1219
01:13:47,048 --> 01:13:49,164
That's the stuff!
That's the X-Force spirit!
1220
01:13:50,384 --> 01:13:52,421
Never underestimate
a man with a mustache!
1221
01:13:52,511 --> 01:13:54,001
Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.
1222
01:13:54,096 --> 01:13:55,257
We did it!
1223
01:13:55,348 --> 01:13:56,838
You're a goddamn superhero, you!
1224
01:13:56,933 --> 01:13:58,014
X-Force!
1225
01:13:58,643 --> 01:13:59,724
X-Force.
1226
01:14:04,106 --> 01:14:05,972
Oh!
1227
01:14:09,695 --> 01:14:10,695
Peter.
1228
01:14:10,780 --> 01:14:11,780
I got you, buddy!
1229
01:14:11,864 --> 01:14:12,966
You're gonna be fine!
This is not good, man!
1230
01:14:12,990 --> 01:14:15,607
You got this, big guy!
Here we go, Peter!
1231
01:14:15,701 --> 01:14:17,112
Look at me.
We're X-Force, right?
1232
01:14:17,203 --> 01:14:19,319
Yeah, we're X-Force.
We're X-Force.
1233
01:14:23,376 --> 01:14:25,367
Oh, my God!
What the fuck?
1234
01:14:25,461 --> 01:14:27,418
Fucking acidic vomit!
1235
01:14:29,006 --> 01:14:31,748
Oh, God! I'm gonna throw up
in my mask.
1236
01:14:34,887 --> 01:14:37,254
Okay, I'm over the convoy.
1237
01:14:37,348 --> 01:14:39,180
Where did the rest
of the team land?
1238
01:14:39,809 --> 01:14:41,425
Good news and bad news.
1239
01:14:41,519 --> 01:14:44,602
Bad news is
the whole team is dead.
1240
01:14:44,689 --> 01:14:45,770
The good news is,
1241
01:14:45,856 --> 01:14:47,813
I don't think anyone's
gonna miss Shatterstar.
1242
01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:51,188
He was a bit of a prick.
Oh, but Paul!
1243
01:14:51,278 --> 01:14:52,278
Peter!
1244
01:14:52,363 --> 01:14:53,774
Peter, I'm gonna miss him most.
1245
01:14:53,864 --> 01:14:54,984
But there is a slight chance
1246
01:14:55,032 --> 01:14:56,363
Vanisher could make it.
1247
01:14:56,450 --> 01:14:58,987
Nope, no chance. He's dead.
1248
01:14:59,078 --> 01:15:00,239
The whole team?
1249
01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:02,115
Only the main ones.
We're still good.
1250
01:15:02,206 --> 01:15:03,446
Fuck, you are dumb.
1251
01:15:03,541 --> 01:15:05,123
Whoever planned this stunt's
1252
01:15:05,209 --> 01:15:07,371
been smoking a lot jazz cabbage.
1253
01:15:07,461 --> 01:15:08,542
I'll tell you that much.
1254
01:15:08,629 --> 01:15:10,245
That's pretty obvious!
1255
01:15:10,339 --> 01:15:12,046
Looking good, Vanisher.
1256
01:15:21,892 --> 01:15:23,758
They're headed into the tunnel.
1257
01:15:24,770 --> 01:15:26,181
I'm that kid's only hope,
1258
01:15:26,272 --> 01:15:28,138
so sit tight
and wait for my word.
1259
01:15:28,899 --> 01:15:29,899
Whatever.
1260
01:15:29,984 --> 01:15:31,211
We're gonna lose 'em.
I'm dropping in.
1261
01:15:31,235 --> 01:15:34,148
Uh, that's
a negative, sole survivor.
1262
01:15:34,238 --> 01:15:36,730
Luck is not a superpower!
We are so fucked!
1263
01:15:36,824 --> 01:15:39,862
No, we most certainly
are not fucked.
1264
01:15:42,997 --> 01:15:45,614
Seriously, I don't get it!
1265
01:15:45,708 --> 01:15:48,166
What, you shoot luck lasers
out of your eyes?
1266
01:15:50,337 --> 01:15:52,123
It's just it's hard to picture.
1267
01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:54,330
And certainly
not very cinematic.
1268
01:15:57,011 --> 01:15:58,593
I mean, luck?
1269
01:15:58,679 --> 01:16:01,171
What coked out,
glass pipe-sucking
1270
01:16:01,265 --> 01:16:02,596
freakshow comic book artist...
1271
01:16:02,683 --> 01:16:04,265
came up
with that little chestnut?
1272
01:16:04,351 --> 01:16:06,638
Probably a guy
who can't draw feet!
1273
01:16:17,740 --> 01:16:20,983
Once again, it all falls
on my shoulders.
1274
01:16:21,077 --> 01:16:22,304
It's why I'm cursed to be
a solo act.
1275
01:16:22,328 --> 01:16:23,368
Wander the Earth...
I'm in.
1276
01:16:23,412 --> 01:16:24,868
I'm sorry, what did you say?
1277
01:16:24,955 --> 01:16:26,036
I'm in.
1278
01:16:26,123 --> 01:16:27,989
How in the fuck
are you in already?
1279
01:16:28,459 --> 01:16:29,699
Oh, shit.
1280
01:16:30,294 --> 01:16:31,500
It's Cable. 12 o'clock.
1281
01:16:31,587 --> 01:16:32,622
Okay.
1282
01:16:32,713 --> 01:16:35,125
New plan. Use all of your
imaginary powers
1283
01:16:35,216 --> 01:16:37,924
to stop Cable
from killing that kid.
1284
01:16:38,010 --> 01:16:39,626
I'm coming up on your six.
1285
01:16:47,895 --> 01:16:49,886
That gun is amazing!
1286
01:16:59,073 --> 01:17:00,984
Hey!
Asshole!
1287
01:17:01,158 --> 01:17:02,740
Where is he?
I can't see him.
1288
01:17:02,827 --> 01:17:04,317
He's on top of you.
1289
01:17:04,620 --> 01:17:06,076
He's tearing you open!
1290
01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:07,950
He's going in through the back!
1291
01:17:08,499 --> 01:17:09,580
Oh, God, he's inside!
1292
01:17:09,667 --> 01:17:10,907
You hear yourself, right?
1293
01:17:11,001 --> 01:17:12,412
Accidental double entendres!
1294
01:17:12,503 --> 01:17:14,961
Russell! Russell Collins!
1295
01:17:15,047 --> 01:17:16,958
Hands off that kid, John Connor!
1296
01:17:21,971 --> 01:17:22,971
No, no, no!
1297
01:17:27,309 --> 01:17:28,424
Shit!
1298
01:17:50,374 --> 01:17:52,285
Two can play that game!
1299
01:17:54,420 --> 01:17:56,252
Got it! No, I don't.
1300
01:17:57,256 --> 01:17:58,256
Showtime, mama!
1301
01:17:58,340 --> 01:17:59,956
Lady Luck, take the wheel.
1302
01:18:37,713 --> 01:18:39,608
I'd ask who you are, but
you'll be dead in a second.
1303
01:18:39,632 --> 01:18:41,669
I'm Domino, and doubtful.
1304
01:18:58,275 --> 01:18:59,275
Hang in there, Doms!
1305
01:19:00,611 --> 01:19:02,227
Oh, this is really hard.
1306
01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:15,911
And give me back
my Skee-Ball token.
1307
01:19:19,463 --> 01:19:20,999
You're doing great.
X-Force.
1308
01:19:22,967 --> 01:19:24,958
I guess dubstep never dies.
1309
01:19:29,265 --> 01:19:30,300
Whoo!
1310
01:19:37,189 --> 01:19:39,977
You killed Black Tom,
you racist son of a bitch!
1311
01:19:42,778 --> 01:19:43,893
That's unfortunate.
1312
01:19:47,032 --> 01:19:48,272
We got no brakes!
1313
01:19:48,450 --> 01:19:49,690
Figure it out!
1314
01:19:54,081 --> 01:19:55,617
There's nothing I can't kill.
1315
01:19:58,419 --> 01:20:00,911
Well, as Scoutmaster Kevin
used to say...
1316
01:20:01,005 --> 01:20:03,337
"There's a first time
for everything, son."
1317
01:20:05,050 --> 01:20:06,632
Give me your best shot,
One-Eyed Willy.
1318
01:20:21,483 --> 01:20:23,394
Those bullets were, like,
super fast.
1319
01:20:23,986 --> 01:20:24,986
Here we go.
1320
01:20:26,071 --> 01:20:28,278
Domino, mind slowing us down?
1321
01:20:28,365 --> 01:20:30,447
Here goes nothing.
1322
01:21:01,648 --> 01:21:03,389
Knock, knock.
1323
01:21:09,948 --> 01:21:10,948
That's my boy.
1324
01:21:17,373 --> 01:21:18,534
Holy...
1325
01:21:28,842 --> 01:21:30,424
I'll be first to admit...
1326
01:21:30,511 --> 01:21:32,878
this did not go
according to plan.
1327
01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:35,759
I'll also be the first
to admit that
1328
01:21:35,849 --> 01:21:37,681
that plan was written in crayon.
1329
01:21:37,768 --> 01:21:40,977
Looks like Russell found
a new friend. Jelly.
1330
01:21:41,063 --> 01:21:42,599
Turns out Domino's
a bit of a badass,
1331
01:21:42,689 --> 01:21:45,556
and maybe,
possibly mildly lucky.
1332
01:21:45,651 --> 01:21:48,894
But Cable? Ugh.
That guy's in a mood.
1333
01:21:48,987 --> 01:21:50,148
A mood that is
1334
01:21:50,239 --> 01:21:52,025
about to get
significantly worse.
1335
01:22:15,806 --> 01:22:18,218
Something is so terribly,
terribly wrong.
1336
01:22:21,186 --> 01:22:22,642
Oh.
1337
01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,056
Oh, God, that hurt.
1338
01:22:26,150 --> 01:22:27,766
Suck it, Mel Gibson.
1339
01:22:31,321 --> 01:22:32,402
Russell.
1340
01:22:35,117 --> 01:22:36,198
Russell!
1341
01:22:36,827 --> 01:22:38,909
Russ, where are ya?
1342
01:22:42,541 --> 01:22:44,623
Russell. Russell, you're okay!
1343
01:22:44,793 --> 01:22:47,956
Oh, thank God.
Oh, my God!
1344
01:22:48,255 --> 01:22:49,461
Juggernaut!
1345
01:22:50,799 --> 01:22:52,790
I thought that was you!
1346
01:22:52,885 --> 01:22:54,967
I should've worn my white pants.
1347
01:22:55,721 --> 01:22:58,713
You probably get this a lot,
but I am a huge fan.
1348
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:02,888
Uncanny X-Men 183. Thor 411.
1349
01:23:02,978 --> 01:23:04,264
X-Men Unlimited 12.
1350
01:23:04,354 --> 01:23:06,436
You know, it has always been
a dream of mine...
1351
01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:08,264
to see my face
reflected in your helmet...
1352
01:23:08,358 --> 01:23:10,520
as you charge at me
with murderous intent.
1353
01:23:10,611 --> 01:23:12,101
I don't mean right now.
1354
01:23:12,446 --> 01:23:14,312
I'm gonna rip you in half now.
1355
01:23:14,406 --> 01:23:16,738
That is such
a Juggernaut thing to say.
1356
01:23:20,829 --> 01:23:24,823
Oh, my God!
I can't feel my legs.
1357
01:23:24,917 --> 01:23:25,998
I can't feel...
1358
01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:28,450
Oh, no, they're right here.
1359
01:23:29,296 --> 01:23:31,037
Got 'em.
God, Russell.
1360
01:23:31,131 --> 01:23:32,963
I have a mission.
1361
01:23:33,509 --> 01:23:34,624
To get my revenge.
1362
01:23:35,135 --> 01:23:37,376
I'm going to burn
that headmaster alive.
1363
01:23:37,471 --> 01:23:39,633
You're not the revenge type.
1364
01:23:39,723 --> 01:23:40,884
Take it from a friend.
1365
01:23:41,308 --> 01:23:45,017
Friend? You were sick,
and I protected you.
1366
01:23:45,187 --> 01:23:47,303
You said it yourself.
1367
01:23:47,397 --> 01:23:50,059
"I'm not your friend.
Find someone stronger."
1368
01:23:50,150 --> 01:23:51,356
So I did.
1369
01:23:53,111 --> 01:23:55,148
Russell, I couldn't
protect you back then.
1370
01:23:55,322 --> 01:23:58,781
But I can now. What do you
want me to say, huh?
1371
01:23:59,368 --> 01:24:01,200
"I care about you"?
'Cause goddamn it,
1372
01:24:01,286 --> 01:24:03,118
I care about you, Russell.
1373
01:24:03,747 --> 01:24:05,829
What's Juggernaut got
that I don't have?
1374
01:24:05,916 --> 01:24:09,079
Don't you say legs!
I know you're gonna say legs!
1375
01:24:09,628 --> 01:24:12,416
Legs!
Still hurts to hear out loud!
1376
01:24:14,591 --> 01:24:17,504
What is that?
That's not a real rope!
1377
01:24:17,594 --> 01:24:19,926
You get back here, young man!
1378
01:24:20,889 --> 01:24:22,004
Doms!
1379
01:24:22,391 --> 01:24:24,553
Doms, get me
out of here, please.
1380
01:24:24,643 --> 01:24:27,055
Use my arms as backpack straps.
1381
01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:30,854
I think we may have found
1382
01:24:30,941 --> 01:24:32,727
your cosmic reason
for being here.
1383
01:24:33,151 --> 01:24:34,892
I'm pretty sure this isn't it.
1384
01:24:34,987 --> 01:24:36,227
X-Force.
1385
01:24:49,751 --> 01:24:51,537
No child is hopeless.
1386
01:24:51,628 --> 01:24:54,416
Don't give up on the boy.
How could he just walk away?
1387
01:24:55,173 --> 01:24:57,414
It was the coldness in his eyes.
1388
01:24:57,884 --> 01:24:59,466
You should've heard it.
1389
01:25:01,388 --> 01:25:03,675
I guess family
really is an F-word.
1390
01:25:04,600 --> 01:25:06,762
Rub my legs, Mama.
1391
01:25:06,852 --> 01:25:08,217
Why would I rub your legs?
1392
01:25:08,312 --> 01:25:10,895
Please, they hurt.
I have growing pains.
1393
01:25:14,359 --> 01:25:15,565
What in the...
1394
01:25:16,069 --> 01:25:18,310
Why is your hand so tiny again?
1395
01:25:18,822 --> 01:25:20,187
That's not my hand.
1396
01:25:20,699 --> 01:25:22,531
Oh! Mary, mother of Joseph!
1397
01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:24,984
That was nice for me.
1398
01:25:25,078 --> 01:25:27,820
Wade! I heard what happened
with the convoy and...
1399
01:25:32,336 --> 01:25:34,168
Why wouldn't you cover that up?
1400
01:25:34,671 --> 01:25:36,833
A warrior has nothing
to be ashamed of.
1401
01:25:36,923 --> 01:25:38,834
Yeah, but you do.
Look at you.
1402
01:25:38,925 --> 01:25:40,916
You're just
straight shirt-cocking it,
1403
01:25:41,011 --> 01:25:42,422
toddler-style.
1404
01:25:42,512 --> 01:25:44,423
Oh, yeah.
Full Winnie the Pooh.
1405
01:25:44,514 --> 01:25:46,471
The hell's happening?
Describe it.
1406
01:25:46,558 --> 01:25:47,827
I wouldn't ask him to do that,
if I were you.
1407
01:25:47,851 --> 01:25:49,433
It's like, um...
Here we go.
1408
01:25:49,519 --> 01:25:50,788
It's like he was
giving birth anally,
1409
01:25:50,812 --> 01:25:52,302
but they quit halfway through.
1410
01:25:52,397 --> 01:25:53,541
They got the legs out,
and they said,
1411
01:25:53,565 --> 01:25:54,896
"You know what, I'm done."
1412
01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:55,983
Happy?
1413
01:25:56,068 --> 01:25:57,170
It's like he's a Muppet
from the waist down.
1414
01:25:57,194 --> 01:25:58,525
But this time, you can see
1415
01:25:58,612 --> 01:26:00,023
the Muppet's dick.
1416
01:26:00,113 --> 01:26:01,299
Grover's got a cock
the size of a twig.
1417
01:26:01,323 --> 01:26:02,675
Mr. Weasel, I can
no longer be double-parked.
1418
01:26:02,699 --> 01:26:04,360
I've had three tickets already.
1419
01:26:05,994 --> 01:26:08,452
No, no, no, DP, not again!
1420
01:26:08,789 --> 01:26:10,325
This has happened before?
1421
01:26:11,458 --> 01:26:12,869
Jesus! Either vomit or don't.
1422
01:26:12,959 --> 01:26:14,245
The indecision is killing me.
1423
01:26:14,336 --> 01:26:16,202
Why couldn't God
take my hearing?
1424
01:26:17,798 --> 01:26:19,960
Oh. Wow!
1425
01:26:20,050 --> 01:26:21,666
Cool your pits.
They're growing back.
1426
01:26:21,760 --> 01:26:23,342
I'm talking about your face.
1427
01:26:23,762 --> 01:26:25,628
I've never seen you
without your mask before.
1428
01:26:25,722 --> 01:26:27,884
Jesus Christ!
Looks like an avocado.
1429
01:26:27,974 --> 01:26:29,590
Your legs, though, they're cute.
1430
01:26:29,935 --> 01:26:31,721
You wanna borrow
a pair of pants?
1431
01:26:33,313 --> 01:26:34,849
I'm glad everybody dropped by.
1432
01:26:34,940 --> 01:26:37,227
You must be wondering
why I didn't call you here.
1433
01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:39,275
I'll tell you why I'm here.
1434
01:26:39,361 --> 01:26:41,648
"The Time Traveler's Wife's"
husband“.
1435
01:26:41,738 --> 01:26:42,965
Beat me within
an inch of my life.
1436
01:26:42,989 --> 01:26:44,229
He was torturing me!
1437
01:26:44,324 --> 01:26:47,237
But all I told him was
everything he wanted to know.
1438
01:26:47,327 --> 01:26:49,489
So, I'm here to help us gear up.
1439
01:26:49,996 --> 01:26:51,182
So we can go after him
without me.
1440
01:26:51,206 --> 01:26:52,206
WADE; No!
1441
01:26:52,624 --> 01:26:53,955
I'm doing this alone.
1442
01:26:54,042 --> 01:26:55,123
The Juggernaut
1443
01:26:55,210 --> 01:26:56,410
will kill you all.
Fair enough.
1444
01:26:56,461 --> 01:26:58,498
I just need a couple of
hours to get some legs
1445
01:26:58,588 --> 01:26:59,669
under me.
What will you do?
1446
01:26:59,756 --> 01:27:01,109
I don't care
what the kid did to me.
1447
01:27:01,133 --> 01:27:02,419
I ain't letting Cable
get to him,
1448
01:27:02,509 --> 01:27:03,861
even if I have to
teabag him to death.
1449
01:27:03,885 --> 01:27:05,876
It's really just a sip of tea
at this point.
1450
01:27:05,971 --> 01:27:07,712
Zip it, black Black Widow!
I'm flowing.
1451
01:27:07,806 --> 01:27:08,866
The first order of business is
1452
01:27:08,890 --> 01:27:10,034
to get me in front of Cable...
1453
01:27:10,058 --> 01:27:11,744
so I can pull all the fucking
blood out of his body...
1454
01:27:11,768 --> 01:27:14,100
and fashion his bones
into holiday jewelry.
1455
01:27:14,187 --> 01:27:15,928
Then, I'm gonna take his skin...
1456
01:27:16,022 --> 01:27:19,105
and stretch it out
over a homemade mating drum.
1457
01:27:20,694 --> 01:27:22,294
He's standing right
behind you, isn't he?
1458
01:27:30,954 --> 01:27:32,695
What in the ass?
1459
01:27:32,998 --> 01:27:36,081
Is this apartment listed
on Tinder? Grindr?
1460
01:27:36,376 --> 01:27:38,913
You picked the wrong shithole
to fuck, future boy.
1461
01:27:39,463 --> 01:27:42,000
Ugh. Is that really necessary?
1462
01:27:44,259 --> 01:27:46,921
No. It's his "Basic Instinct."
1463
01:27:47,095 --> 01:27:48,135
What can we help you with?
1464
01:27:48,847 --> 01:27:50,508
I'm here to proposition you.
1465
01:27:52,017 --> 01:27:53,098
On, boy!
1466
01:27:53,185 --> 01:27:54,245
He's really teeing it up,
isn't he?
1467
01:27:54,269 --> 01:27:56,351
Who gets to make the first joke?
1468
01:27:56,438 --> 01:27:57,790
I think we should all do it
at the same time.
1469
01:27:57,814 --> 01:27:58,814
Good call.
1470
01:27:58,899 --> 01:28:00,435
For $45, you get sucky-suck.
1471
01:28:00,525 --> 01:28:01,753
I only do over
the pants, mouth stuff.
1472
01:28:01,777 --> 01:28:02,858
Fuck!
1473
01:28:02,944 --> 01:28:04,046
The Proposition has a wonderful
1474
01:28:04,070 --> 01:28:05,070
Guy Pearce performance.
1475
01:28:05,155 --> 01:28:06,896
Wait, wait, wait!
I wanna do mine over.
1476
01:28:07,240 --> 01:28:09,322
Give us the line again.
I need your help!
1477
01:28:09,868 --> 01:28:12,155
Trust me, I'm even less happy
about this than you are...
1478
01:28:12,245 --> 01:28:14,862
but you unleashed
the Juggernaut, you dumb cunt!
1479
01:28:15,415 --> 01:28:17,656
I can't bring him down alone.
1480
01:28:17,834 --> 01:28:19,370
So here we are.
1481
01:28:20,712 --> 01:28:22,453
We're no longer
accepting applications
1482
01:28:22,547 --> 01:28:23,912
for X-Force, unfortunately.
1483
01:28:24,007 --> 01:28:25,418
Even if we were...
1484
01:28:25,509 --> 01:28:27,195
there's a wind advisory
in effect until at least...
1485
01:28:27,219 --> 01:28:28,380
We don't have a lot of time.
1486
01:28:28,470 --> 01:28:30,211
Your friend's about
to make his first kill.
1487
01:28:30,305 --> 01:28:31,785
No offense,
but if you know so much...
1488
01:28:31,848 --> 01:28:34,180
why not travel back to when
he was a baby, kill him then?
1489
01:28:34,768 --> 01:28:35,828
Or better yet, head back
a little further,
1490
01:28:35,852 --> 01:28:36,852
kill baby Hitler.
1491
01:28:36,937 --> 01:28:38,894
I use a device
to slide through time.
1492
01:28:38,980 --> 01:28:41,597
The longer I travel,
the harder it is to control.
1493
01:28:41,691 --> 01:28:44,274
I got two charges:
one to get me here,
1494
01:28:44,361 --> 01:28:45,476
one to get me home.
1495
01:28:45,570 --> 01:28:46,685
Well.
1496
01:28:46,780 --> 01:28:48,646
That's just lazy writing.
1497
01:28:48,740 --> 01:28:50,009
Your boy's
gonna kill the headmaster
1498
01:28:50,033 --> 01:28:51,569
of the orphanage tonight.
1499
01:28:51,660 --> 01:28:53,742
After that,
he gets a real taste for it.
1500
01:28:53,829 --> 01:28:56,537
Like 10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker!
1501
01:28:56,623 --> 01:28:58,580
So he keeps killing...
1502
01:28:58,667 --> 01:29:00,123
and killing, and killing,
1503
01:29:00,210 --> 01:29:01,416
and killing.
1504
01:29:01,753 --> 01:29:04,962
Until one day, he kills
the wrong fucking people.
1505
01:29:07,551 --> 01:29:08,916
My People.
1506
01:29:12,848 --> 01:29:13,963
Relax.
1507
01:29:14,057 --> 01:29:16,515
I'm retrieving something
from my utility bag.
1508
01:29:16,601 --> 01:29:19,138
It's a goddamn fanny pack...
1509
01:29:19,229 --> 01:29:21,766
and you know it,
you sick son of a bitch!
1510
01:29:21,857 --> 01:29:23,518
The difference is night and day.
1511
01:29:25,360 --> 01:29:27,476
You remind me of my wife.
1512
01:29:27,654 --> 01:29:28,769
I'm sorry.
1513
01:29:29,197 --> 01:29:30,299
I said, "You remind me
of my wife."
1514
01:29:30,323 --> 01:29:31,676
No, I'm sorry
that you said that...
1515
01:29:31,700 --> 01:29:34,442
while making heavy eye contact
and applying lip balm.
1516
01:29:34,536 --> 01:29:35,697
She always struggled.
1517
01:29:36,830 --> 01:29:38,241
But she was funny...
1518
01:29:38,331 --> 01:29:40,823
and filtered her pain
through the prism of humor.
1519
01:29:41,710 --> 01:29:43,917
Something I could never master.
1520
01:29:44,838 --> 01:29:47,045
It was my fault she died.
1521
01:29:48,675 --> 01:29:51,337
It was my job
to stop people like him.
1522
01:29:52,387 --> 01:29:54,344
I came close a few times.
1523
01:29:58,560 --> 01:30:00,221
He wasn't too happy about that.
1524
01:30:01,938 --> 01:30:03,053
He was trying to hurt me...
1525
01:30:03,148 --> 01:30:05,105
and he knew exactly
how to do it.
1526
01:30:09,154 --> 01:30:10,815
Blessed are the wicked
1527
01:30:10,906 --> 01:30:12,488
who are healed by my hand.
1528
01:30:15,619 --> 01:30:17,030
He came into my home...
1529
01:30:17,996 --> 01:30:20,863
and took the only thing
that made it a home.
1530
01:30:25,086 --> 01:30:26,451
Sound familiar?
1531
01:30:27,505 --> 01:30:29,087
I'm sorry.
Uh-huh.
1532
01:30:29,174 --> 01:30:30,835
No, I'm really sorry.
1533
01:30:33,053 --> 01:30:35,169
But that isn't Russell.
1534
01:30:35,263 --> 01:30:37,158
It doesn't have to be him.
If you knew what I knew...
1535
01:30:37,182 --> 01:30:39,173
Yeah, he's got anger issues...
1536
01:30:39,267 --> 01:30:40,757
maybe a small
learning disability...
1537
01:30:40,852 --> 01:30:42,217
splash of diabetes...
1538
01:30:42,312 --> 01:30:43,598
but nothing that can't be fixed.
1539
01:30:43,688 --> 01:30:45,304
If you could go back...
1540
01:30:45,398 --> 01:30:48,060
and stop the people that took
your girl, would you?
1541
01:30:48,360 --> 01:30:49,566
No.
1542
01:30:49,653 --> 01:30:51,360
I'd buy them all
a bouquet of hand jobs.
1543
01:30:51,446 --> 01:30:53,187
Of course I fucking would!
1544
01:30:53,949 --> 01:30:55,030
But I wouldn't kill a kid.
1545
01:30:55,116 --> 01:30:57,107
I'm not asking you
to kill a kid!
1546
01:30:57,202 --> 01:30:58,738
I'll kill the kid.
1547
01:30:58,828 --> 01:31:02,287
I'm asking you to save
hundreds of other kids.
1548
01:31:02,374 --> 01:31:04,661
Russell's gonna burn down
that orphanage.
1549
01:31:04,751 --> 01:31:06,742
And I can imagine
your dead girlfriend...
1550
01:31:06,836 --> 01:31:09,077
would want you to do
the right thing, wouldn't she?
1551
01:31:10,090 --> 01:31:12,673
So, what's it gonna be,
handsome?
1552
01:31:13,343 --> 01:31:15,004
Give me a chance to save him.
1553
01:31:15,095 --> 01:31:16,506
What?
You said...
1554
01:31:16,596 --> 01:31:18,240
once he kills someone,
he gets a taste for it.
1555
01:31:18,264 --> 01:31:20,596
If we can get to him
before that happens...
1556
01:31:20,684 --> 01:31:22,300
promise you'll give me a chance
1557
01:31:22,394 --> 01:31:24,180
to put him on a different path.
1558
01:31:24,270 --> 01:31:25,431
Define "chance."
1559
01:31:25,522 --> 01:31:26,749
I don't know.
How long does it take
1560
01:31:26,773 --> 01:31:28,125
to save someone's soul?
That's not...
1561
01:31:28,149 --> 01:31:29,389
I'll give you 30 seconds.
1562
01:31:29,484 --> 01:31:31,475
What? No!
Best I can do.
1563
01:31:31,569 --> 01:31:32,855
Take it or leave it.
1564
01:31:43,331 --> 01:31:44,742
He's doing it!
1565
01:31:44,833 --> 01:31:46,393
Look at the little fella.
He's doing it.
1566
01:31:46,501 --> 01:31:48,333
There he goes.
1567
01:31:48,503 --> 01:31:49,914
Jesus Christ!
1568
01:31:50,005 --> 01:31:51,461
Just shirt-cocking it.
1569
01:31:51,548 --> 01:31:52,548
Ugh.
1570
01:31:53,508 --> 01:31:54,839
There you go, little fella.
1571
01:31:55,593 --> 01:31:56,924
Go on, you're doing it!
1572
01:31:57,345 --> 01:32:00,178
My beautiful, hairless,
Twizzler-legged baby boy.
1573
01:32:02,392 --> 01:32:03,473
Christ!
1574
01:32:03,560 --> 01:32:05,176
That's disturbing.
1575
01:32:05,270 --> 01:32:06,681
30 seconds.
1576
01:32:12,068 --> 01:32:13,558
Deal.
Deal.
1577
01:32:19,993 --> 01:32:23,031
Man, that sucks they didn't
have anything in your size.
1578
01:32:23,121 --> 01:32:25,078
I really wanted to match,
you know?
1579
01:32:25,165 --> 01:32:27,156
Being a menacing team.
1580
01:32:27,250 --> 01:32:28,365
Oh, man, it sucks.
1581
01:32:28,460 --> 01:32:30,042
That was some
cold-ass shit, kid.
1582
01:32:31,755 --> 01:32:34,247
And that is just
the first five steps
1583
01:32:34,340 --> 01:32:36,047
to a prostate-assisted orgasm.
1584
01:32:36,968 --> 01:32:38,379
Where the hell are we going?
1585
01:32:38,470 --> 01:32:39,710
You said it yourself.
1586
01:32:39,804 --> 01:32:42,717
Nothing can stop the
Juggernaut. We need backup.
1587
01:32:42,807 --> 01:32:45,549
I will bathe in the blood
of your enemies.
1588
01:32:49,898 --> 01:32:51,514
Can you turn off the music?
1589
01:32:52,525 --> 01:32:54,516
You'll do no such thing.
1590
01:32:54,694 --> 01:32:56,526
Why don't you just say it
in an Indian accent?
1591
01:32:56,613 --> 01:32:58,320
I'm sorry?
Apology accepted.
1592
01:32:58,406 --> 01:33:00,443
This is a side of you
I do not like.
1593
01:33:00,533 --> 01:33:01,533
Let me guess,
1594
01:33:01,618 --> 01:33:03,429
some of your best friends
in the future are Indian.
1595
01:33:03,453 --> 01:33:04,568
What the hell are you...?
1596
01:33:04,662 --> 01:33:06,573
Once again, intolerance rears
its ugly head.
1597
01:33:06,664 --> 01:33:07,904
I am so sorry.
It gets better.
1598
01:33:07,999 --> 01:33:09,535
I'm not a fucking racist, moron!
1599
01:33:09,626 --> 01:33:11,492
That's precisely
what a racist would say.
1600
01:33:11,711 --> 01:33:13,327
I'm with the old white guy
on this one.
1601
01:33:13,421 --> 01:33:14,627
And that's a twist.
1602
01:33:14,714 --> 01:33:15,829
When this is over...
1603
01:33:15,924 --> 01:33:18,152
I'm going to fuck you to death
with your own broken feet.
1604
01:33:18,176 --> 01:33:20,292
And a sexual predator, too.
That's rich.
1605
01:33:20,386 --> 01:33:21,751
I should have finished college.
1606
01:33:21,846 --> 01:33:22,927
So what exactly do you
1607
01:33:23,014 --> 01:33:24,075
do in the future, anyway, huh?
1608
01:33:24,099 --> 01:33:25,305
Some kind of soldier?
1609
01:33:25,391 --> 01:33:27,177
Yeah, something like that.
1610
01:33:27,268 --> 01:33:29,430
I was a soldier.
Special Forces.
1611
01:33:29,521 --> 01:33:32,138
I bet 50 years from now,
we're bestest buddies.
1612
01:33:32,232 --> 01:33:34,189
50 years from now,
you're very dead.
1613
01:33:34,275 --> 01:33:36,642
Your entire generation fucked
this planet into a coma.
1614
01:33:36,736 --> 01:33:38,272
Boom!
1615
01:33:38,363 --> 01:33:39,603
Spoiler alert.
1616
01:33:40,865 --> 01:33:42,071
Planets.
1617
01:33:42,242 --> 01:33:43,778
Next time, Uber.
1618
01:33:43,868 --> 01:33:45,154
Here's a spoiler alert.
1619
01:33:46,329 --> 01:33:48,115
You're not a fucking hero.
1620
01:33:48,331 --> 01:33:52,040
You're just an annoying clown
dressed up as a sex toy.
1621
01:33:52,418 --> 01:33:53,579
Well, I got news for you.
1622
01:33:53,670 --> 01:33:54,956
My heart is in the right place.
1623
01:33:55,046 --> 01:33:56,536
Russell's not gonna kill anyone.
1624
01:33:56,631 --> 01:33:58,609
Because of me, he's gonna know
what real love looks like.
1625
01:33:58,633 --> 01:33:59,668
We're all going to die.
1626
01:33:59,759 --> 01:34:01,028
Because of you, I'll always know
1627
01:34:01,052 --> 01:34:02,918
what a grown man
with baby balls looks like.
1628
01:34:03,054 --> 01:34:05,341
I'm a grower, not a shower.
1629
01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:06,630
God, I wish this were a bus
1630
01:34:06,724 --> 01:34:07,910
where I could pull
the string and get out.
1631
01:34:07,934 --> 01:34:09,550
It's a good thing
Cable's not driving,
1632
01:34:09,644 --> 01:34:10,644
or you'd be in the back.
1633
01:34:10,854 --> 01:34:12,640
I am in the back.
Right here!
1634
01:34:31,374 --> 01:34:33,035
I made mistakes!
1635
01:34:33,501 --> 01:34:35,037
I wanna take them back!
1636
01:34:35,211 --> 01:34:38,078
You trusted me.
I took that trust...
1637
01:34:38,214 --> 01:34:39,625
and turned it into a glory hole
1638
01:34:39,716 --> 01:34:41,206
in an airport bathroom.
1639
01:34:41,301 --> 01:34:44,043
The one in Minneapolis.
You know the one.
1640
01:34:44,637 --> 01:34:47,174
But even you know I'm not
a complete piece of shit.
1641
01:34:47,265 --> 01:34:48,755
I was once an X-Man.
1642
01:34:48,850 --> 01:34:49,885
Trainee!
1643
01:34:54,564 --> 01:34:57,056
You're still using
my Velcro labels. Aw.
1644
01:34:57,150 --> 01:34:58,732
They do stick better than tape.
1645
01:34:58,818 --> 01:34:59,818
Hi, Wade!
1646
01:34:59,903 --> 01:35:00,903
Please don't.
1647
01:35:00,987 --> 01:35:03,729
Say whatever it is you're here
to say. Make it quick.
1648
01:35:03,823 --> 01:35:04,823
Right. Quick.
1649
01:35:04,908 --> 01:35:06,774
It's the kid.
Just like you, I let him down.
1650
01:35:06,868 --> 01:35:07,868
And just like me,
1651
01:35:07,952 --> 01:35:09,221
he's never had anyone
sacrifice anything for him...
1652
01:35:09,245 --> 01:35:10,556
because the whole world
wrote him off
1653
01:35:10,580 --> 01:35:11,945
as a piece of shit
a long time ago.
1654
01:35:12,040 --> 01:35:13,701
Look, he's teamed up
with the Juggernaut!
1655
01:35:13,791 --> 01:35:14,952
The Juggernaut!
1656
01:35:15,335 --> 01:35:17,104
Who's, like, my favorite
Marvel character ever...
1657
01:35:17,128 --> 01:35:19,290
And hi, Yukio! That was really
nice of you to say hi...
1658
01:35:19,380 --> 01:35:20,711
so I'm saying hi back.
1659
01:35:20,798 --> 01:35:22,129
You guys make
a super cute couple.
1660
01:35:22,217 --> 01:35:23,878
Yeah. Where was I?
1661
01:35:23,968 --> 01:35:25,800
Oh, yeah. You should never
meet your heroes...
1662
01:35:25,887 --> 01:35:27,548
because, honestly,
he's a bit of a dick!
1663
01:35:27,639 --> 01:35:29,450
And like a lot of dicks,
he's hard as a rock...
1664
01:35:29,474 --> 01:35:30,743
and causes nothing but problems!
1665
01:35:30,767 --> 01:35:33,759
Look, you can stop the
Juggernaut. I know you can.
1666
01:35:33,853 --> 01:35:37,016
Do you know what would happen
to me if I helped you?
1667
01:35:37,106 --> 01:35:39,143
I would be disgraced.
1668
01:35:39,234 --> 01:35:41,225
You are a criminal, a fugitive.
1669
01:35:41,319 --> 01:35:42,809
But worst of all...
1670
01:35:42,904 --> 01:35:44,645
you broke my heart, Wade.
1671
01:35:46,324 --> 01:35:47,359
Then you know what?
1672
01:35:47,450 --> 01:35:49,050
Your heart's in
the wrong place, big guy.
1673
01:35:50,245 --> 01:35:52,907
Doing the right thing
is sometimes messy...
1674
01:35:52,997 --> 01:35:56,331
and fucked up, and not
particularly convenient!
1675
01:35:56,417 --> 01:35:59,500
So stay here
in Château de Virgin...
1676
01:35:59,587 --> 01:36:01,703
while we go get our fuck on!
1677
01:36:04,884 --> 01:36:06,249
You're doing great.
1678
01:36:11,933 --> 01:36:13,389
So you wear that helmet because
1679
01:36:13,476 --> 01:36:15,183
your brother
tries to read your mind?
1680
01:36:15,270 --> 01:36:18,479
Yeah, but he's in
a wheelchair, so even-Steven.
1681
01:36:18,564 --> 01:36:21,022
Someone's coming.
It's Russell, sir.
1682
01:36:21,109 --> 01:36:23,020
And he's not alone.
1683
01:36:23,111 --> 01:36:24,772
Secure the children.
1684
01:36:27,198 --> 01:36:29,565
They will not replace us.
1685
01:36:29,993 --> 01:36:32,280
What do you say
we go fuck some shit up?
1686
01:36:32,829 --> 01:36:36,663
"Let's fuck some shit up"
is my legal middle name.
1687
01:36:40,003 --> 01:36:42,461
Watch my back.
I've got the old man.
1688
01:36:42,672 --> 01:36:44,208
Amen, brother.
1689
01:36:50,763 --> 01:36:52,253
Time to make the chimichangas.
1690
01:36:52,432 --> 01:36:54,048
30 seconds.
1691
01:36:54,684 --> 01:36:56,800
I finally know why I'm here.
1692
01:36:57,228 --> 01:36:59,139
I was raised in this place.
1693
01:36:59,230 --> 01:37:01,437
Well, not raised.
I was tortured.
1694
01:37:01,524 --> 01:37:04,357
Wow! It's your cosmic reason
for being here.
1695
01:37:04,444 --> 01:37:05,730
Shall we?
This is gonna be fun.
1696
01:37:05,820 --> 01:37:06,855
Yeah!
1697
01:37:06,946 --> 01:37:08,277
Hey! Been meaning to ask you...
1698
01:37:08,364 --> 01:37:11,607
what's with the dirty,
disgusting hobo bear?
1699
01:37:11,701 --> 01:37:14,363
It's not dirt. It's the blood
of my dead daughter.
1700
01:37:14,912 --> 01:37:17,279
Are You Bear, God?
It's Me, Margaret.
1701
01:37:17,665 --> 01:37:19,030
Give me some.
1702
01:37:19,125 --> 01:37:20,615
They say
laughter heals anything...
1703
01:37:20,752 --> 01:37:21,833
except, of course, that.
1704
01:37:21,919 --> 01:37:23,125
We should just cue the music.
1705
01:37:48,279 --> 01:37:50,987
Welcome home, Russell.
We missed you.
1706
01:37:52,200 --> 01:37:53,200
Russell!
1707
01:37:53,284 --> 01:37:55,696
You don't need to do this!
Let's talk!
1708
01:37:56,746 --> 01:37:58,266
Why are you dressed
like the Unabomber?
1709
01:38:02,377 --> 01:38:03,377
That's why!
1710
01:38:03,461 --> 01:38:04,563
Told you this little fucker's
too far gone.
1711
01:38:04,587 --> 01:38:06,703
Zip it, Thanos!
We have a deal and you fuck...
1712
01:38:06,798 --> 01:38:08,755
Hey!
1713
01:38:09,300 --> 01:38:12,418
I'm gonna shove that
cab driver right up your ass.
1714
01:38:13,554 --> 01:38:15,716
My body and my hands
are so soft.
1715
01:38:15,807 --> 01:38:17,076
You should probably
head back to the car.
1716
01:38:17,100 --> 01:38:18,636
I think I'll head
back to the car.
1717
01:38:19,936 --> 01:38:22,598
It works best
when you pull the trigger.
1718
01:38:25,525 --> 01:38:26,811
That gun is amazing!
1719
01:38:28,152 --> 01:38:29,358
Say it!
1720
01:38:31,531 --> 01:38:34,523
You are an abomination!
1721
01:38:41,874 --> 01:38:45,117
Now, I'm gonna shove
the red guy up the old guy.
1722
01:38:45,211 --> 01:38:47,623
I believe him!
Every man for themselves!
1723
01:38:52,009 --> 01:38:53,090
Gotcha!
1724
01:38:53,886 --> 01:38:55,047
Beat it, midget!
1725
01:38:58,057 --> 01:39:00,765
Hey, big guy,
the sun's getting real low!
1726
01:39:01,185 --> 01:39:02,266
Oh, shit fuck!
1727
01:39:16,159 --> 01:39:17,741
Come here, beautiful.
1728
01:39:25,501 --> 01:39:26,616
Whoo!
1729
01:39:35,845 --> 01:39:36,926
Say it!
1730
01:41:00,388 --> 01:41:01,469
You came for me.
1731
01:41:01,556 --> 01:41:02,967
I'm not giving up on you,
1732
01:41:03,057 --> 01:41:05,139
and you are not
giving up on that boy.
1733
01:41:05,226 --> 01:41:07,217
Who says that rules
aren't meant to be broken?
1734
01:41:07,311 --> 01:41:09,552
It's time to fight dirty.
1735
01:41:09,730 --> 01:41:11,061
Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.
1736
01:41:11,148 --> 01:41:13,890
Hey! Pick on someone
your own size!
1737
01:41:13,985 --> 01:41:16,022
That's such a you thing to say!
1738
01:41:16,112 --> 01:41:17,694
Go get him, tiger!
1739
01:41:18,114 --> 01:41:19,980
Big CGI fight coming up!
1740
01:41:43,055 --> 01:41:44,386
He's doing great.
1741
01:41:44,473 --> 01:41:45,679
Say it!
1742
01:41:49,854 --> 01:41:51,265
Russell.
Bingo!
1743
01:41:56,652 --> 01:41:58,609
You see that bus?
1744
01:41:58,696 --> 01:41:59,936
I'm gonna shove it up your ass.
1745
01:42:03,284 --> 01:42:05,241
That's right!
I'm fighting dirty!
1746
01:42:06,621 --> 01:42:07,621
Oh, great!
1747
01:42:07,663 --> 01:42:08,724
There they are!
Those freaks!
1748
01:42:08,748 --> 01:42:10,508
A bunch of armed
pedophiles in nursing shoes.
1749
01:42:10,791 --> 01:42:12,452
Can I have one of those guns?
1750
01:42:13,002 --> 01:42:14,663
No.
That's fine.
1751
01:42:14,837 --> 01:42:16,669
Get off this property,
mutant scum!
1752
01:42:16,839 --> 01:42:18,039
I'm just gonna use this brick.
1753
01:42:18,591 --> 01:42:19,591
Maximum effort.
1754
01:42:25,723 --> 01:42:27,464
Who says you
can't go home again?
1755
01:42:36,567 --> 01:42:37,978
On!
1756
01:42:44,617 --> 01:42:45,617
Yeah!
1757
01:42:47,828 --> 01:42:49,159
Say it.
1758
01:42:49,538 --> 01:42:52,576
Say what you said
every time you tortured me!
1759
01:42:53,125 --> 01:42:54,125
Say it!
1760
01:42:54,210 --> 01:42:57,202
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand!
1761
01:42:58,422 --> 01:43:00,038
Blessed are the wicked...
1762
01:43:00,591 --> 01:43:01,797
who are healed...
1763
01:43:02,301 --> 01:43:03,791
by my hand.
1764
01:43:21,862 --> 01:43:23,569
You commie motherfucker!
1765
01:43:50,641 --> 01:43:52,348
Oh, my God.
Did you feel that, too?
1766
01:43:53,227 --> 01:43:55,434
Only best buddies
execute pedophiles together.
1767
01:43:58,315 --> 01:44:00,522
You got 30 seconds,
you jabbering butt plug!
1768
01:44:00,693 --> 01:44:01,899
Now we're getting it.
1769
01:44:06,615 --> 01:44:08,822
I need a bus
to get you all out of here.
1770
01:44:14,165 --> 01:44:15,200
Orphans.
1771
01:44:16,375 --> 01:44:17,581
Oh, geez.
1772
01:44:19,003 --> 01:44:21,586
It's time to burn
for what you've done!
1773
01:44:21,756 --> 01:44:24,248
A child should not be burdened
with such power!
1774
01:44:33,058 --> 01:44:34,139
Russell! Wait!
1775
01:44:40,149 --> 01:44:41,435
Oh!
1776
01:44:48,657 --> 01:44:50,648
Wait! He hasn't killed
anyone yet!
1777
01:44:50,826 --> 01:44:52,846
What more do you need to see?
Don't you fucking dare!
1778
01:44:52,870 --> 01:44:53,951
He's just a kid!
1779
01:44:54,121 --> 01:44:55,987
Tick, tock. Meter's running!
1780
01:45:08,719 --> 01:45:11,757
I'm gonna melt you down
and make a cock ring.
1781
01:45:32,159 --> 01:45:34,776
I told you! Leave me alone!
Come on!
1782
01:45:35,329 --> 01:45:36,444
Listen to me!
1783
01:45:59,687 --> 01:46:01,303
That's how we do it
1784
01:46:01,397 --> 01:46:02,853
in Mother Russia.
1785
01:46:05,192 --> 01:46:07,604
They say millennials are
the hardest to reach.
1786
01:46:08,988 --> 01:46:12,197
Oh, no.
You're doing amazing.
1787
01:46:13,534 --> 01:46:16,026
Damn, it feels good
to be a gangsta!
1788
01:46:16,453 --> 01:46:18,160
Go home, Wade!
1789
01:46:18,330 --> 01:46:20,162
You're ruining everything!
1790
01:46:25,504 --> 01:46:26,710
I'm getting good at this shit.
1791
01:46:26,881 --> 01:46:27,916
Go, go, go!
1792
01:46:31,427 --> 01:46:33,259
He dies tonight, Wade.
1793
01:46:33,429 --> 01:46:34,965
You can't stop me!
1794
01:46:35,931 --> 01:46:37,672
He even runs
like a fucking pervert.
1795
01:46:37,850 --> 01:46:40,592
Like an online predator
who lost his laptop.
1796
01:46:42,021 --> 01:46:43,421
There's one bullet left
in that gun.
1797
01:46:43,564 --> 01:46:45,444
Wait, wait, wait!
Please, just give me a second!
1798
01:46:45,608 --> 01:46:46,939
I got this.
1799
01:46:47,109 --> 01:46:49,225
Russell!
Stay back! Go home, Wade!
1800
01:46:49,403 --> 01:46:51,519
Let's talk. It doesn't
have to go this way!
1801
01:46:52,114 --> 01:46:53,400
That piece of shit...
1802
01:46:53,824 --> 01:46:55,464
he deserves to die
for what he did to you.
1803
01:46:55,618 --> 01:46:58,986
He hurt you badly.
Makes you wanna hurt others.
1804
01:46:59,872 --> 01:47:01,533
But if you kill him, he wins.
1805
01:47:01,707 --> 01:47:05,200
You become everything
he says you are, but worse.
1806
01:47:05,628 --> 01:47:07,084
You're just a kid.
1807
01:47:07,671 --> 01:47:09,287
You don't wanna hurt anyone.
1808
01:47:09,465 --> 01:47:10,585
How do you know what I want?
1809
01:47:10,758 --> 01:47:12,374
Because I've been inside you.
1810
01:47:13,052 --> 01:47:14,338
That came out wrong.
1811
01:47:14,970 --> 01:47:16,552
I've been inside your shoes.
1812
01:47:16,722 --> 01:47:18,463
Which is also off-putting.
1813
01:47:18,641 --> 01:47:20,052
It's not a great analogy.
1814
01:47:20,142 --> 01:47:21,553
The point is...
1815
01:47:22,019 --> 01:47:23,680
there are people...
1816
01:47:23,771 --> 01:47:26,684
There are people
in this fucking world...
1817
01:47:26,857 --> 01:47:29,440
besides him,
who will treat you right.
1818
01:47:29,610 --> 01:47:32,227
It isn't too late.
Don't do it.
1819
01:47:37,785 --> 01:47:40,152
I never should've left
you there.
1820
01:47:41,914 --> 01:47:43,780
I never should've left you
in that prison.
1821
01:47:50,881 --> 01:47:52,167
I can't trust you.
1822
01:47:53,884 --> 01:47:56,251
I can't trust anybody!
1823
01:48:05,270 --> 01:48:06,476
Wonderful kid.
1824
01:48:06,981 --> 01:48:08,517
You can't stop me, Wade!
1825
01:48:10,776 --> 01:48:12,892
I got one more idea.
1826
01:48:13,070 --> 01:48:15,937
It's just a really bad one,
even for me.
1827
01:48:16,031 --> 01:48:17,192
Wade, what are you doing?
1828
01:48:17,282 --> 01:48:19,002
All right. This is for
all the marbles, kid!
1829
01:48:19,702 --> 01:48:21,409
You're gonna kill
someone today...
1830
01:48:21,829 --> 01:48:23,115
Blessed are the wicked...
1831
01:48:23,288 --> 01:48:25,199
then it's gotta be me.
1832
01:48:26,291 --> 01:48:28,202
Who are healed by my hand!
1833
01:48:31,338 --> 01:48:33,750
Fuck this!
1834
01:49:34,485 --> 01:49:37,443
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.
1835
01:49:42,451 --> 01:49:43,941
Oh, that's not good.
1836
01:49:45,537 --> 01:49:46,948
No, sir.
1837
01:49:54,588 --> 01:49:57,501
You sacrificed yourself for me.
1838
01:49:57,925 --> 01:49:59,040
Yeah.
1839
01:49:59,134 --> 01:50:01,341
And it was the best thing
I ever did.
1840
01:50:03,305 --> 01:50:05,387
I told you I care about you.
1841
01:50:05,474 --> 01:50:07,215
You're a good kid, Russell.
1842
01:50:08,936 --> 01:50:10,017
Hey-
1843
01:50:11,313 --> 01:50:12,519
The bear.
1844
01:50:12,606 --> 01:50:13,971
It worked.
1845
01:50:20,948 --> 01:50:22,438
Because of you.
1846
01:50:22,616 --> 01:50:24,903
No, Wade, because of you.
1847
01:50:25,786 --> 01:50:27,823
Stop, stop, stop!
1848
01:50:27,913 --> 01:50:29,074
Stop!
1849
01:50:30,249 --> 01:50:32,786
Just let it happen, okay?
1850
01:50:33,252 --> 01:50:36,165
I guess my heart was finally
in the right place.
1851
01:50:37,005 --> 01:50:39,417
That riddle is so fucked up.
1852
01:50:44,221 --> 01:50:46,508
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
1853
01:50:46,682 --> 01:50:47,797
Don't be. Don't be.
1854
01:50:47,891 --> 01:50:49,811
I've been trying to make
this happen for a while.
1855
01:50:50,310 --> 01:50:51,846
Please, just don't leave me.
1856
01:50:52,020 --> 01:50:53,510
I don't wanna die
without an audience.
1857
01:50:53,689 --> 01:50:55,179
We are not going anywhere.
1858
01:50:55,357 --> 01:50:57,439
Oh, God, I hope
the Academy is watching.
1859
01:50:57,526 --> 01:50:58,641
Just rest, okay?
1860
01:51:00,487 --> 01:51:01,568
Papa.
1861
01:51:03,782 --> 01:51:05,739
Papa, can you hear me?
1862
01:51:07,995 --> 01:51:13,991
Papa, can you find me
in the night?
1863
01:51:35,272 --> 01:51:36,512
Before I go...
1864
01:51:37,065 --> 01:51:38,772
Sorry, I got a bit more in me.
1865
01:51:39,359 --> 01:51:40,474
Domino.
1866
01:51:40,652 --> 01:51:45,146
I want you to have
my Adventure Time watch.
1867
01:51:47,743 --> 01:51:50,610
Turns out
that I'm the lucky one.
1868
01:51:51,371 --> 01:51:52,486
Thank you.
1869
01:51:53,832 --> 01:51:56,745
Hey, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.
1870
01:51:57,127 --> 01:51:59,289
I liked you better
with your hair short.
1871
01:51:59,463 --> 01:52:00,624
Think everyone did.
1872
01:52:01,423 --> 01:52:04,131
Hi, Yukio.
Hi, Wade!
1873
01:52:06,178 --> 01:52:07,259
And you...
1874
01:52:07,804 --> 01:52:08,919
Chrome Bone.
1875
01:52:09,848 --> 01:52:12,215
I haven't always been
the best friend to you.
1876
01:52:12,809 --> 01:52:15,050
But you've always been
that to me.
1877
01:52:15,145 --> 01:52:16,510
So thank you.
1878
01:52:18,690 --> 01:52:20,272
Say "fuck" for me.
1879
01:52:21,109 --> 01:52:22,349
Just once. Come on,
1880
01:52:22,444 --> 01:52:24,026
we'll do it together.
It's no big deal.
1881
01:52:24,112 --> 01:52:27,104
Here we go. One, two, three.
F... F... F...
1882
01:52:27,199 --> 01:52:28,199
Fuck.
1883
01:52:28,367 --> 01:52:31,701
Wow! Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.
1884
01:52:33,038 --> 01:52:35,279
And you, Cable.
1885
01:52:36,166 --> 01:52:39,830
You get back to your family.
You tell 'em Wade says hi.
1886
01:52:40,712 --> 01:52:43,921
And promise me.
Promise me one thing.
1887
01:52:44,383 --> 01:52:45,748
That you'll start
judging people...
1888
01:52:45,842 --> 01:52:47,173
not by the color of their skin,
1889
01:52:47,261 --> 01:52:49,127
but by the content
of their character.
1890
01:52:49,888 --> 01:52:51,470
Jesus.
R-Dog?
1891
01:52:52,683 --> 01:52:54,594
There you are. Hey!
1892
01:52:55,185 --> 01:52:56,926
You're a superhero now, bubba.
1893
01:52:57,437 --> 01:53:00,395
That's why it's high time
that you had a super suit.
1894
01:53:00,482 --> 01:53:01,847
This one is yours.
1895
01:53:01,942 --> 01:53:03,649
You might wanna
get it steam cleaned.
1896
01:53:03,735 --> 01:53:05,100
Especially around the pants.
1897
01:53:05,195 --> 01:53:06,902
And let it out
a little in the waist.
1898
01:53:07,864 --> 01:53:08,864
But, hey.
1899
01:53:09,908 --> 01:53:10,989
Look.
1900
01:53:11,285 --> 01:53:13,902
Family is not an F-word.
1901
01:53:14,663 --> 01:53:15,949
All right?
1902
01:53:16,039 --> 01:53:17,905
There's one out there for you.
1903
01:53:18,500 --> 01:53:20,207
Just keep looking, okay?
1904
01:53:23,714 --> 01:53:26,456
Guys, for a second there...
1905
01:53:27,301 --> 01:53:29,417
we made a pretty good team.
1906
01:53:44,484 --> 01:53:46,475
Oh, it's so hard to go.
1907
01:53:47,988 --> 01:53:50,355
I just love being around
you guys so much.
1908
01:53:51,450 --> 01:53:52,690
So, so much.
1909
01:53:53,410 --> 01:53:54,741
Mmm.
1910
01:53:54,828 --> 01:53:56,990
No, I can feel it now.
Here it comes, yeah.
1911
01:53:57,706 --> 01:54:01,449
I feel the soul
exiting the husk.
1912
01:54:01,543 --> 01:54:02,543
Yeah.
1913
01:54:04,421 --> 01:54:06,253
Can you see it?
1914
01:54:06,965 --> 01:54:09,127
Do you see
that beautiful bright light?
1915
01:54:10,594 --> 01:54:11,755
There it is.
1916
01:54:18,018 --> 01:54:19,224
Oh, that's the sun.
1917
01:54:19,311 --> 01:54:21,143
Don't stare directly into that.
1918
01:54:21,229 --> 01:54:22,640
I just have a few final words.
1919
01:54:24,900 --> 01:54:26,265
Woodpecker.
1920
01:54:27,069 --> 01:54:28,400
Gingivitis.
1921
01:54:30,447 --> 01:54:31,812
Codswallop.
1922
01:54:36,161 --> 01:54:38,118
Do You Want to Build a Snowman?
1923
01:55:53,113 --> 01:55:54,274
Sorry I'm late.
1924
01:55:54,364 --> 01:55:56,025
There was a bunch
1925
01:55:56,116 --> 01:55:57,468
of handicapable children
who were stuck in a tree.
1926
01:55:57,492 --> 01:55:58,698
No.
No.
1927
01:55:59,786 --> 01:56:02,448
But I did have to help a kid.
Yeah.
1928
01:56:02,914 --> 01:56:04,780
He's got a terrible name.
It's just awful.
1929
01:56:04,875 --> 01:56:05,875
Ugh.
I tried to tell him.
1930
01:56:08,211 --> 01:56:09,622
Is this heaven?
1931
01:56:10,505 --> 01:56:11,711
It is now.
1932
01:56:15,177 --> 01:56:17,043
I am so sorry.
1933
01:56:17,888 --> 01:56:19,219
It's okay.
1934
01:56:39,075 --> 01:56:40,941
I missed you so much.
1935
01:56:46,541 --> 01:56:48,202
What is it? What's wrong?
1936
01:56:50,128 --> 01:56:51,618
It's not time.
1937
01:56:52,255 --> 01:56:54,121
What do you mean it's not time?
1938
01:56:54,299 --> 01:56:55,789
I'm here, I made it.
1939
01:56:55,967 --> 01:56:57,628
You can't stay.
No, no, no.
1940
01:56:57,719 --> 01:57:00,336
I'm staying. I'm not going
anywhere without you.
1941
01:57:00,430 --> 01:57:01,430
It's okay.
1942
01:57:01,932 --> 01:57:04,765
There's a time for us.
It's just not now.
1943
01:57:05,769 --> 01:57:08,227
They need you.
Who?
1944
01:57:10,273 --> 01:57:11,559
Your F-word.
1945
01:57:12,817 --> 01:57:13,817
Why?
1946
01:57:13,902 --> 01:57:14,902
You'll find out.
1947
01:57:16,154 --> 01:57:17,690
It's all right. I'll be here.
1948
01:57:19,074 --> 01:57:21,190
It's pretty fucking
awesome up here.
1949
01:57:21,910 --> 01:57:23,742
I can have anything I want.
1950
01:57:23,828 --> 01:57:25,944
Can every day be
International Women's Day?
1951
01:57:26,039 --> 01:57:27,404
It is heaven.
1952
01:57:27,624 --> 01:57:28,864
I love you.
1953
01:57:31,378 --> 01:57:34,120
I know. I love you, too.
1954
01:57:34,714 --> 01:57:36,125
Now, go.
1955
01:57:37,008 --> 01:57:38,999
Go on. Go, get out of here.
1956
01:57:40,053 --> 01:57:41,053
Go.
1957
01:57:43,848 --> 01:57:44,848
Hey!
1958
01:57:47,852 --> 01:57:50,014
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
1959
01:57:50,647 --> 01:57:51,762
Well, come here.
1960
01:58:11,126 --> 01:58:12,742
Don't fuck Elvis.
1961
01:58:12,877 --> 01:58:14,618
Ooh, too late.
I'm sorry?
1962
01:58:24,139 --> 01:58:25,345
Time to make the chimichangas.
1963
01:58:25,432 --> 01:58:26,513
30 seconds.
1964
01:58:26,600 --> 01:58:27,840
Hey. Been meaning to ask you...
1965
01:58:27,892 --> 01:58:30,350
what's with the creepy,
dirty hobo bear?
1966
01:58:30,437 --> 01:58:32,178
It's my daughter's teddy bear.
1967
01:58:32,647 --> 01:58:33,933
Her name's Hope.
1968
01:58:34,232 --> 01:58:35,347
Well...
1969
01:58:36,192 --> 01:58:38,058
What are you doing?
1970
01:58:38,153 --> 01:58:39,735
Somebody swiped right.
1971
01:58:52,542 --> 01:58:54,909
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.
1972
01:58:58,256 --> 01:58:59,997
You sacrificed yourself for me.
1973
01:59:00,091 --> 01:59:01,581
It would seem I...
1974
01:59:03,762 --> 01:59:05,048
Huh?
1975
01:59:06,181 --> 01:59:08,513
Genuine, high-grade lead.
1976
01:59:10,435 --> 01:59:13,427
You time-sliding son of a bitch!
1977
01:59:13,521 --> 01:59:15,103
You did this for me?
1978
01:59:16,983 --> 01:59:19,475
Wait. You can't go back.
1979
01:59:20,111 --> 01:59:21,351
You used the last of your fuel.
1980
01:59:21,446 --> 01:59:23,153
What about your girl, your wife?
1981
01:59:23,239 --> 01:59:26,482
Now, my family's safe.
And I didn't do it for you.
1982
01:59:27,952 --> 01:59:30,364
No, I'm gonna stick around
for a while...
1983
01:59:30,455 --> 01:59:31,661
and make sure the world
1984
01:59:31,748 --> 01:59:33,455
doesn't shit itself
into oblivion.
1985
01:59:34,167 --> 01:59:37,034
No. You did it for me.
1986
01:59:37,796 --> 01:59:39,127
No, I didn't.
1987
01:59:39,297 --> 01:59:40,662
You did.
I really didn't.
1988
01:59:40,757 --> 01:59:42,597
Pretty sure you did.
No, I'm positive I didn't.
1989
01:59:42,634 --> 01:59:44,375
Fine. All right,
let's flip a coin. Okay?
1990
01:59:44,469 --> 01:59:47,177
Heads, you did it for me.
Tails, you did it for me.
1991
01:59:47,263 --> 01:59:49,675
I'm not even gonna look,
because you did it for me.
1992
01:59:50,100 --> 01:59:51,100
Say it again.
1993
01:59:51,267 --> 01:59:52,803
He did it for me.
Jesus.
1994
01:59:52,894 --> 01:59:54,705
We must get the collar off.
Forget it. It's no use.
1995
01:59:54,729 --> 01:59:56,595
These collars
don't just come off.
1996
01:59:56,690 --> 01:59:57,690
Wade.
1997
01:59:58,233 --> 01:59:59,849
I have an idea.
1998
02:00:00,193 --> 02:00:02,275
No, no, no!
Let's not do that. Please!
1999
02:00:02,362 --> 02:00:04,729
I'd rather die of cancer.
Let's just...
2000
02:00:04,823 --> 02:00:07,941
Oh, God! They do say the pen
is grosser than the sword.
2001
02:00:08,034 --> 02:00:10,275
We need the code.
2002
02:00:10,370 --> 02:00:12,236
Try, uh, seven?
2003
02:00:12,330 --> 02:00:13,866
Settle down, Captain Lucky.
2004
02:00:13,957 --> 02:00:15,368
It's not gonna be one number.
2005
02:00:15,458 --> 02:00:16,618
Oh, God, that's lazy writing.
2006
02:00:17,544 --> 02:00:18,875
I still got it.
2007
02:00:21,923 --> 02:00:23,880
Put that back
in your prison wallet.
2008
02:00:25,593 --> 02:00:27,459
I don't know how to thank you.
2009
02:00:27,554 --> 02:00:29,044
But I do know how to hug you.
2010
02:00:29,514 --> 02:00:30,754
No.
Yes.
2011
02:00:30,849 --> 02:00:32,305
Here we go. Bring it in.
2012
02:00:32,392 --> 02:00:33,392
Come on.
2013
02:00:33,518 --> 02:00:34,804
Pelvis to pelvis.
2014
02:00:34,978 --> 02:00:36,218
Let's go tip to tip.
2015
02:00:36,396 --> 02:00:38,888
There we go.
The kids call this docking.
2016
02:00:40,650 --> 02:00:41,770
Is there a knife in my dick?
2017
02:00:41,860 --> 02:00:44,088
There's a knife in your dick.
I'm just gonna back up now.
2018
02:00:44,112 --> 02:00:45,944
Yeah, yeah.
No need to go full Yentl.
2019
02:00:46,030 --> 02:00:48,692
Gonna pretend
like that never happened.
2020
02:00:48,867 --> 02:00:50,778
Let's go home, Russell.
2021
02:00:54,456 --> 02:00:56,197
All you dirty mutants
2022
02:00:56,291 --> 02:00:58,703
are gonna rot in hell
with the boy!
2023
02:00:58,877 --> 02:01:01,835
Your souls
are beyond redemption!
2024
02:01:02,005 --> 02:01:03,245
Let's see your soul, perv!
2025
02:01:03,339 --> 02:01:06,127
No, no! No! No more!
We're better than that!
2026
02:01:06,217 --> 02:01:07,378
We're better than him!
2027
02:01:07,469 --> 02:01:10,131
No more senseless violence!
No more bloodshed!
2028
02:01:10,221 --> 02:01:11,757
We'll let karma
take care of him.
2029
02:01:11,848 --> 02:01:14,840
The day of reckoning is here!
2030
02:01:24,194 --> 02:01:26,185
I'm gonna miss him.
He seemed great.
2031
02:01:26,321 --> 02:01:27,482
Whoo!
2032
02:01:27,572 --> 02:01:29,062
Courage, motherfuckers!
2033
02:01:29,240 --> 02:01:30,480
And karma, motherfucker.
2034
02:01:30,575 --> 02:01:32,178
I could hear you
coming the last 30 seconds.
2035
02:01:32,202 --> 02:01:34,159
I could barely keep
a straight face.
2036
02:01:34,245 --> 02:01:36,031
I want some more.
2037
02:01:36,206 --> 02:01:37,867
I bet you do, Brown Panther.
2038
02:01:37,957 --> 02:01:40,949
We should leave
before Fuckernaut wakes up.
2039
02:01:41,544 --> 02:01:43,660
Good call.
You guys coming with us?
2040
02:01:43,838 --> 02:01:45,749
No, we'll get the kids
back to the mansion.
2041
02:01:45,840 --> 02:01:47,126
Besides, we're X-Men.
2042
02:01:47,425 --> 02:01:49,962
No, you're X-People.
2043
02:01:50,136 --> 02:01:51,422
You're exhausting.
2044
02:01:51,513 --> 02:01:53,174
I see what you did there.
Puns.
2045
02:01:53,348 --> 02:01:54,713
Our door's always open.
2046
02:01:54,808 --> 02:01:56,568
That's kind, but
I'm not ready to date again.
2047
02:01:56,643 --> 02:01:57,643
Let alone two women.
2048
02:01:58,770 --> 02:02:00,386
God, you're a douche.
2049
02:02:00,522 --> 02:02:02,604
Bye, Wade!
Bye, Yukio!
2050
02:02:05,360 --> 02:02:06,395
What do you get
2051
02:02:06,486 --> 02:02:07,630
when you take
eight feet of chrome...
2052
02:02:07,654 --> 02:02:08,769
one pinch of courage...
2053
02:02:08,863 --> 02:02:10,069
a cup of good luck...
2054
02:02:10,156 --> 02:02:11,646
a dab of racism...
2055
02:02:11,741 --> 02:02:12,902
a splash of diabetes...
2056
02:02:12,992 --> 02:02:15,324
and a wheelbarrow
full of stage four cancer?
2057
02:02:15,745 --> 02:02:17,907
Answer: a family.
2058
02:02:18,498 --> 02:02:21,581
See? I didn't lie
what kind of film this was-
2059
02:02:21,668 --> 02:02:23,020
If there's anything
you take away today...
2060
02:02:23,044 --> 02:02:26,162
other than the need to Google,
"What the fuck is dubstep?"...
2061
02:02:26,256 --> 02:02:29,044
it's that we all need
to belong to someone.
2062
02:04:26,125 --> 02:04:27,832
How something so small generates
2063
02:04:27,919 --> 02:04:29,455
enough energy
to reverse time is...
2064
02:04:29,545 --> 02:04:31,877
Oh, just fix it, Eleven,
2065
02:04:31,965 --> 02:04:34,206
or I'll take it
to the Genius Bar.
2066
02:04:34,300 --> 02:04:35,527
Cable's gonna kill you
when he finds out.
2067
02:04:35,551 --> 02:04:36,551
Never heard of him.
2068
02:04:36,636 --> 02:04:38,092
Why do you think
I'm helping him?
2069
02:04:39,389 --> 02:04:41,596
The Lord works
in mysterious ways,
2070
02:04:41,683 --> 02:04:43,924
don't I? A good day.
2071
02:04:44,686 --> 02:04:45,686
Bye, Wade!
2072
02:04:46,187 --> 02:04:47,187
Bye, Yukio!
2073
02:04:48,523 --> 02:04:50,730
That was probably a bad idea.
2074
02:04:51,067 --> 02:04:52,182
What have we done?
2075
02:05:10,628 --> 02:05:12,619
I hope we sharpened
the cream cheese spreader.
2076
02:05:22,807 --> 02:05:24,263
I'll be right back!
2077
02:05:26,227 --> 02:05:28,764
We're definitely naming
our kid Cher!
2078
02:05:29,147 --> 02:05:30,147
Whoo!
2079
02:05:31,983 --> 02:05:33,223
Peter!
2080
02:05:33,317 --> 02:05:34,853
Whoo! X-Force!
2081
02:05:34,944 --> 02:05:37,151
Walk away! Just walk away!
2082
02:05:38,031 --> 02:05:39,863
But we're X-Force!
Nope! We're not.
2083
02:05:40,074 --> 02:05:41,405
X-Force is just a marketing tool
2084
02:05:41,492 --> 02:05:42,732
designed by Fox executives...
2085
02:05:42,827 --> 02:05:44,488
to keep Josh Brolin employed.
2086
02:05:44,579 --> 02:05:45,865
It doesn't exist.
2087
02:05:46,122 --> 02:05:49,331
All right, well,
this has been pretty scary!
2088
02:05:49,500 --> 02:05:51,036
And I need to feed my cat!
2089
02:05:51,210 --> 02:05:53,577
Go home, Sugarbear. Go home.
2090
02:05:53,755 --> 02:05:56,998
Okay. Will you give
Domino my email?
2091
02:06:06,184 --> 02:06:08,050
Wade, is that you?
2092
02:06:10,313 --> 02:06:11,644
I guess Stryker finally
2093
02:06:11,731 --> 02:06:13,096
figured out how to shut you up.
2094
02:06:19,697 --> 02:06:22,940
Hey! It's me!
Don't scratch!
2095
02:06:23,117 --> 02:06:25,108
Just cleaning up the timelines!
2096
02:06:25,203 --> 02:06:28,992
Look, eventually you're
going to hang up the claws...
2097
02:06:29,082 --> 02:06:31,323
and it's gonna make
a lot of people very sad.
2098
02:06:31,709 --> 02:06:32,709
Huh?
2099
02:06:32,794 --> 02:06:34,480
But one day, your old pal
Wade's gonna ask you...
2100
02:06:34,504 --> 02:06:36,461
to get back in the saddle again.
2101
02:06:37,340 --> 02:06:39,877
And when he does, say yes.
2102
02:06:41,135 --> 02:06:43,092
Oh, right.
2103
02:06:44,013 --> 02:06:45,299
Love you!
2104
02:06:47,683 --> 02:06:49,299
Goddamn, that's beautiful.
2105
02:06:56,692 --> 02:06:58,524
You're welcome, Canada.
2106
02:07:11,040 --> 02:07:12,201
Boy howdy.
2107
02:07:14,085 --> 02:07:16,952
Hi. This is a toughie.
2108
02:07:17,046 --> 02:07:18,046
Yeesh.
2109
02:07:18,339 --> 02:07:20,751
Oh, yes. You're already
practicing your salute, huh?
2110
02:07:21,968 --> 02:07:24,756
Yes, you are. Well, we'll
take care of that, won't we?
2111
02:07:24,846 --> 02:07:27,634
Jesus Christ! This is
so much harder than I thought.
2112
02:07:28,474 --> 02:07:30,056
Oh, I'm going to hell.
2113
02:07:30,143 --> 02:07:31,725
That makes two of us.
2114
02:07:31,894 --> 02:07:32,975
You can do this.
2115
02:07:33,146 --> 02:07:36,138
This is crazy. This is crazy.
This is crazy. This is crazy.
2116
02:07:36,232 --> 02:07:37,393
All right.
2117
02:07:44,740 --> 02:07:46,651
Maximum effort.
2118
02:13:24,830 --> 02:13:27,071
That's okay.
Let me see here.
2119
02:13:27,166 --> 02:13:28,622
Oh, God.
2120
02:13:28,709 --> 02:13:30,620
That's why you're
such a little bastard.
2121
02:13:30,711 --> 02:13:32,622
No one's ever changed you.
2122
02:13:33,130 --> 02:13:35,838
Yeah, you got a big, old
stinky in there, don't you?
2123
02:13:35,925 --> 02:13:38,383
God, it smells like
Hitler's anus...
2124
02:13:38,761 --> 02:13:41,298
which would makes sense,
wouldn't it? Yeah.
2125
02:13:41,388 --> 02:13:42,503
I think we both know
2126
02:13:42,598 --> 02:13:43,783
I don't have
what it takes to do this...
2127
02:13:43,807 --> 02:13:46,174
so I'm just gonna change
your diaper real quick...
2128
02:13:46,268 --> 02:13:48,205
and then I'm gonna come back
with my friend, Cable.
2129
02:13:48,229 --> 02:13:49,560
He loves killing kids.
147814
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