Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,250
Get your bag off the table.
People eat there.
2
00:01:27,830 --> 00:01:29,330
They eat on plates.
3
00:01:29,540 --> 00:01:31,170
Don't give me any crap,
Maizy.
4
00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:33,420
l'm telling.
You said "crap."
5
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,260
There's nothing
wrong with crap.
6
00:01:35,340 --> 00:01:37,260
Oh, really?
l thought that was a swear.
7
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,260
No.
You're thinking of shit.
8
00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:40,640
Oh, right.
9
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,520
Do you mind?
10
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,190
A sixth grader
chased me on his bike,
11
00:01:47,270 --> 00:01:48,440
and l was running.
12
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,940
When l got
exhausted and fell down,
he whaled me with his shoe.
13
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:53,820
Thank your parents for that.
14
00:01:53,940 --> 00:01:56,650
How come?
lt was their brilliant
idea to move here.
15
00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:59,280
They weren't making
enough cash in lndianapolis.
16
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,620
Forget that we were
perfectly happy.
17
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,790
So thank them for getting
treated like shit every day.
18
00:02:03,870 --> 00:02:05,700
l'm telling on that one.
19
00:02:05,870 --> 00:02:07,410
Shut your face.
20
00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:14,800
Your book bag
doesn't go on the floor.
21
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,710
Always have a cow.
22
00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:20,590
Your nails are digging
to my arm, God damn it!
23
00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:22,050
Pick it up.
24
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,850
You're just supposed to
open the door for us.
25
00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:27,890
You're not supposed to
kick us around.
26
00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:30,140
l'm an American,
l have rights.
27
00:02:30,270 --> 00:02:31,900
Maizy, did l kick you around?
28
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:34,190
No, but you said "shit" twice.
29
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,900
But only once for real.
30
00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:39,990
l've got better things
to do than babysit you,
you little stain.
31
00:02:40,070 --> 00:02:43,280
Like what?
Hang out with
friends you don't have?
32
00:02:43,370 --> 00:02:45,740
Why don't you just shut up?
33
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,870
Want to make me?
34
00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:52,880
When our mother figure
isn't here, l'm in charge.
35
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:55,550
l'm sick of you
calling her that!
36
00:02:55,630 --> 00:02:57,050
Too bad.
37
00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:00,420
You moron !
38
00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:03,010
l don't know why
we need boys at all.
39
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,510
They're so loud.
40
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:05,600
Shut up!
41
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,100
Shut up yourself!
42
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:10,230
We need boys
so they can grow up,
43
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,940
get married,
and turn into shadows.
44
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,440
Let the dog out.
45
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:19,440
Percy!
46
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:35,080
This is such
a wonderful dinner, Mother.
47
00:03:35,170 --> 00:03:37,130
How do you find the time?
48
00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:41,800
Miles.
49
00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:44,970
Maizy, put that down.
50
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,390
Did you win in
hockey yesterday?
51
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,310
Hockey's been
over for two weeks.
52
00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:58,230
l guess you don't
want a hockey stick
for your birthday.
53
00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:05,990
You know what?
54
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,660
When Dad goes to New York,
l'm going to take a week
off work.
55
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,080
So you can interview
new housekeepers?
56
00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:17,170
l've had enough
of your ugliness.
57
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,170
Oh, really?
Mmm-hmm.
58
00:04:20,590 --> 00:04:23,510
We're all just
a little tired
of the act.
59
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,940
This was a really good idea.
60
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,190
Thank you.
61
00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:44,150
How's that pie?
62
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,490
Not bad.
63
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,370
You gonna be at work
in the morning?
64
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,370
l don't see
how l can avoid it.
65
00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:54,750
You don't seem
very happy about it.
66
00:04:55,370 --> 00:04:57,040
All right,
if you gotta know,
67
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,340
l'm really not that excited
about working for
my girlfriend.
68
00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:02,420
There. l said it.
lt's out of the way.
69
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:06,010
Okay, okay.
Buck, l love you.
l can't help myself.
70
00:05:06,090 --> 00:05:07,840
l wanna get married,
l wanna have a family.
71
00:05:07,930 --> 00:05:09,390
l wanna do it with you.
72
00:05:09,470 --> 00:05:11,430
Well, you know, the clock
is ticking away here.
73
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:15,310
l would just like to
hear the pitter-patter
of tiny feet before l die.
74
00:05:15,390 --> 00:05:18,350
l'll get you a mouse
and a piece of sheet metal.
75
00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:21,400
Come on.
Lighten up, will you?
76
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,400
Don't push my button.
l'm not gonna get into this.
77
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,110
l'm not pushing your buttons.
78
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,490
l know me,
l know what l like.
79
00:05:27,570 --> 00:05:31,080
All right?
l like my friends.
l like my freedom.
80
00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:34,120
l like knowing
l can throw my sticks
in the trunk of my car
81
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,330
and go golfing
anytime l want.
82
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,960
l don't hurt anybody.
l don't see
what the problem is.
83
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:42,040
That's the best formula
for loneliness l ever heard.
84
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,050
Why are we arguing?
85
00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:45,210
We're talking.
86
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,930
l said l'd be at work
in the morning.
l'll be there.
87
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:50,300
Okay.
88
00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:56,180
l. . . l just
gotta get this out.
89
00:05:56,270 --> 00:05:59,270
l mean, l know l'm harping
on something here, but,
you know,
90
00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:01,020
just let me say it.
l mean, you know, l am. . .
91
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,860
l'm working on history.
l'm working on the past.
92
00:06:02,940 --> 00:06:06,530
You're gonna show up for work,
you swear to God?
ln the A.M.? Promise?
93
00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:08,530
Chanice,
l'll be honest with you,
94
00:06:08,610 --> 00:06:11,160
if l could
think of an excuse
that you would buy,
95
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,280
l'd use it.
96
00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:26,130
(RlNGlNG)
97
00:06:27,670 --> 00:06:28,840
Hello.
98
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,760
Oh, God.
99
00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:35,970
What?
100
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,600
Just a second.
101
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,060
lt's your aunt.
What happened?
102
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:42,940
Your Dad had a heart attack.
103
00:06:47,150 --> 00:06:49,360
Who's going to
watch the kids?
104
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:53,200
Marcie.
She's right
across the street.
105
00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:56,080
She's the last person
l'd ask for a favor.
106
00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,040
What about the Nevilles?
107
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,590
Would you call them?
108
00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:07,090
l want to leave
as soon as we can.
109
00:07:09,130 --> 00:07:11,010
l am so helpless here.
110
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:14,850
Honey, now,
don't start getting
down on why we moved.
111
00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:17,520
lt has nothing to
do with what happened.
112
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:18,770
Sorry.
113
00:07:21,690 --> 00:07:23,850
Now, this is just a thought.
114
00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:25,360
What about Buck?
115
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,440
l'm sure he'd be
glad to help out.
116
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,570
This is not the time
to discuss your brother.
117
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:32,530
l don't want him here.
118
00:07:33,030 --> 00:07:34,280
lt's just a suggestion.
119
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:37,870
He doesn't have kids.
He isn't married.
He doesn't even work!
120
00:07:39,870 --> 00:07:44,080
He's a little out there,
but he's responsible,
and he's family.
121
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:49,260
Buck isn't the kind of guy
l feel comfortable leaving
my kids with.
122
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,090
The trashy people
he hangs out with.
123
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:55,050
That woman who sells tires.
124
00:07:55,390 --> 00:07:57,930
The horse racing.
The gambling.
125
00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:00,140
Can you see him in this house?
126
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,270
Okay.
127
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:06,810
Call the Nevilles.
128
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:12,900
Are we going to lndianapolis?
129
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,410
Daddy and l are.
130
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,080
And we're not?
131
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,450
No. l don't think
that would be a good idea.
132
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,580
Thanks.
133
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,630
l love my father very much.
134
00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:31,050
So why did you
move away from him?
135
00:08:34,590 --> 00:08:36,340
lf my whole family
moved away from me,
136
00:08:36,430 --> 00:08:38,100
l'd have a heart attack, too.
137
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,270
Oh, l see.
138
00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:50,070
Who gonna take care of us?
139
00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:51,280
Mr. and Mrs. Neville.
140
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,940
ls that a joke?
You don't like the Nevilles?
141
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,950
Their dog's a ball sniffer.
142
00:08:56,110 --> 00:08:57,620
Don't talk like that.
143
00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:59,740
Mr. Neville yelled
at Michael Larson
144
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,870
because the dog was
sniffing Michael's balls.
145
00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:02,950
Don't use that word.
146
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,250
l don't know another word.
147
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,790
Well, l'm sure we can talk
to Mr. Neville about the dog.
148
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,630
Sorry, honey.
They're in Florida.
149
00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:15,970
Okay. You get in bed.
You have to get up
for school.
150
00:09:17,010 --> 00:09:18,050
Who's in Florida?
151
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,510
Get back in bed.
152
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,560
What's another word
for "balls"?
153
00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:23,310
Get in bed.
154
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,390
"Nuts."
155
00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:32,480
What do we do?
156
00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:34,820
l don't think
we have much choice.
157
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,160
Can we trust him?
158
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,410
Yeah?
159
00:09:42,830 --> 00:09:44,330
Buck, this is Bob.
160
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,580
Bob.
161
00:09:46,870 --> 00:09:47,870
Bob who?
162
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,960
Buck, it's your brother.
163
00:09:53,590 --> 00:09:54,760
Bobby.
164
00:09:55,340 --> 00:09:57,340
Bobby,
hang on a minute.
165
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,600
(BUCK COUGHlNG)
166
00:10:17,030 --> 00:10:18,490
(ALARMS BLARlNG)
167
00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:21,030
Bobby, l just used
your Christmas present.
168
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,120
Oh, the clapper.
169
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,620
Bobby, you little piss ant,
how you doing?
170
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,000
Jeez. What are you, drunk?
171
00:10:31,170 --> 00:10:34,000
Hey, you know something?
We gotta get together.
172
00:10:34,090 --> 00:10:36,210
l haven't been
over to your house
since you moved.
173
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,130
Hey...
I'm reaI sorry
about those bushes too.
174
00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:42,890
l had no idea they would
all catch on fire like that.
175
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:46,810
You know, you were right.
l should never have
put the barbecue that close.
176
00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:50,190
Buck, Cindy's father
had a heart attack tonight.
177
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:53,980
We'd like to get down to
lndianapolis as soon as
possible,
178
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,480
but we have a problem
with the kids.
179
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,190
We're stuck for somebody
to watch them.
180
00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:01,070
lf you're not doing
anything. . .
181
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,200
ls this okay with Cindy?
This has got her approval
on it?
182
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,330
Oh, yeah.
183
00:11:06,870 --> 00:11:10,080
That would be great!
l'd be honored ! Sure!
184
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,670
l've still got
the one bedroom, you know,
l'm gonna get a bigger place,
185
00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:15,670
but they bring their
sleeping bags over here,
186
00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:18,050
we'll have some fun.
We'll make tents and stuff.
187
00:11:18,130 --> 00:11:21,010
We'll get some toys
and some peanut butter.
188
00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:23,140
l thought you could come here.
189
00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:24,680
The kids have school.
190
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,890
What am l thinking about?
Sure.
191
00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:28,970
Do we wanna do this tonight
or in the morning?
192
00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:31,190
Tonight would be best, l mean,
if you could do it.
193
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:32,600
Yeah. Tonight will be fine.
194
00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:35,060
That'll be fine.
Don't worry about it.
195
00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:37,230
l'll pack a few things.
l'm on my way.
196
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:38,860
Thanks. See you soon.
197
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:42,910
He can do it.
198
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:45,950
He was asleep,
and l woke him up.
199
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,410
At this hour,
that's a good sign.
200
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:51,750
We're all set.
201
00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:01,970
Okay. This, this, this.
202
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:08,140
Bag, bag, bag.
203
00:12:08,390 --> 00:12:09,430
Okay.
204
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:11,980
This one will do. This. . .
205
00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:21,360
(RlNGlNG)
206
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,700
Hello.
207
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:26,410
Chanice? Honey?
208
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,740
Honey, l have some bad news.
209
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,910
Let me guess.
210
00:12:32,410 --> 00:12:34,370
You are not coming in
to work in the morning.
211
00:12:38,130 --> 00:12:39,210
Just let. . .
212
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,380
Let. . .
213
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,340
No, but. . .
214
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,420
You don't. . .
215
00:12:43,510 --> 00:12:45,090
Would you just. . . Let me. . .
216
00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:46,680
Give me. . .
217
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:50,510
You're not. . .
218
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,140
Give me a. . .
219
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:54,020
Goodbye.
220
00:12:57,020 --> 00:13:00,400
Oh, boy. Those kids.
l haven't seen those
kids in a while.
221
00:13:02,030 --> 00:13:03,530
Tia's got to be nine.
222
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,700
Nine, maybe ten. Oh, boy.
223
00:13:07,490 --> 00:13:09,450
And the two new ones,
they're. . .
224
00:13:10,950 --> 00:13:15,710
Larry and. . .
225
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,040
Betsy.
226
00:13:19,130 --> 00:13:20,540
Betsy. . .
227
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:24,050
Jennifer. Jennifer.
228
00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:25,720
Larry and Jennifer.
229
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,300
Nice kids.
230
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,810
Honey, he's 40 years old.
231
00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:36,390
He knows his way around.
232
00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:41,820
Look, why don't
you go finish packing,
and l'll watch out for Buck?
233
00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:05,710
What the hell?
234
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:08,090
Where is everybody?
235
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,680
Bob!
236
00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:20,350
Bob?
237
00:14:21,770 --> 00:14:24,650
This isn't funny!
Come on ! Wake up!
238
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,150
l'm freezing
my ass off out here!
239
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,780
Oh, shit.
240
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,280
Come on,
l'm getting mad, Bob.
241
00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:34,950
Yo, Bobby!
242
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,700
Buck?
Bob?
243
00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:39,620
Buck!
Bob?
244
00:14:39,710 --> 00:14:40,960
Over here!
245
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:45,170
(DOGS BARKlNG)
246
00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:53,140
You have any idea
how many big white houses
there are on this street?
247
00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:55,850
What?
248
00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:57,060
Keep it down.
249
00:14:57,140 --> 00:15:00,310
What?
What do you want me
to do with my car?
250
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,060
MAN: For crying out loud !
251
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:04,520
Sorry, Mr. Hatfield !
252
00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:05,900
lt's 2:00 a.m. !
253
00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:07,480
How you doing?
254
00:15:08,030 --> 00:15:10,280
Hey, sorry l'm late.
Oh, no, hey, come in.
255
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,030
What happened to the mustache?
Thanks for coming.
256
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,740
Had to shave it off.
How's Cindy?
257
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:15,910
Not well. Not well.
258
00:15:15,990 --> 00:15:17,040
Her dad?
Hard to say.
259
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,870
All those medical terms, huh?
What is it, an infarction or
something like that?
260
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,090
Hey, l stopped
smoking cigarettes.
261
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,300
Oh, good.
lsn't that something?
262
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:37,010
l'm on to cigars now.
l'm onto a five-year plan.
263
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:39,600
l eliminated the cigarettes,
then l go to cigars,
then l go to pipes,
264
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:43,060
then to chewing tobacco,
then l'm onto that
nicotine gum.
265
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:44,900
Good.
266
00:15:45,730 --> 00:15:46,860
Yeah.
267
00:15:48,070 --> 00:15:50,320
Money.
l'll leave you blank checks.
268
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,450
No, please.
l've got lots of money.
269
00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:55,370
No!
No, please.
270
00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:56,870
No.
Look, l've got the money.
271
00:15:56,950 --> 00:15:58,790
Please, l'd like to do this,
all right?
272
00:15:58,870 --> 00:15:59,910
So. . .
No.
273
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,330
No, come on, will you?
Please. . .
Okay.
274
00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:03,330
l'll pay you back
when we get home.
275
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,090
l won't have any problems
cashing
276
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,670
a second-party
out-of-state paycheck, will l?
277
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,340
The reason l'm saying is,
l've been so busy lately,
278
00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:17,510
l haven't been
able to do my banking.
279
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,100
l don't think
there will be a problem.
Don't worry about it.
280
00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:20,430
Let me just
leave you the checks.
281
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,310
Well, only if it's
comfortable for you.
282
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:23,440
That'll be easier.
283
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:24,730
l guess, sure.
284
00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:28,610
Do you have a plunger here?
While l'm thinking of these
things.
285
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,490
For the morning, you know?
My plumbing is just so bad.
286
00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:33,400
Of course, yours is good
plumbing here, right?
287
00:16:33,490 --> 00:16:35,530
Yeah. l would imagine. . .
Don't worry about it.
288
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,410
You know,
everything will be fine.
289
00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:40,080
Just been bound up lately.
lt's driving me crazy.
290
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,200
l've been eating
a lot of cheese,
for some reason.
291
00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:44,830
l don't know what it is,
l've got a craving for
the stuff.
292
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,330
Think maybe that's
an allergy or something?
293
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:48,500
Yeah.
294
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,670
l don't know.
l can't get enough cheese.
295
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,550
l feel like a big mouse.
296
00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:56,390
l don't know.
Ah, well. Ah, well.
297
00:16:56,590 --> 00:16:57,930
Let's see. . .
298
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:00,560
Oh, Miles' birthday.
299
00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:03,600
Forget that.
We'll be back by that time.
300
00:17:03,730 --> 00:17:05,140
Okay, then.
301
00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:07,650
This should do.
l probably won't
use any of them.
302
00:17:07,730 --> 00:17:09,190
Just in case.
303
00:17:09,770 --> 00:17:12,070
Right.
Great. Okay.
304
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:22,620
Here we go.
l know
l've forgotten something.
305
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,290
Just put. . .
What else? What else?
306
00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:25,750
Right up. There you go.
All right?
307
00:17:25,830 --> 00:17:27,620
Okay. That looks nice.
308
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,040
Here. Give me your arm.
There you go.
309
00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:31,420
This should only
be a few days,
310
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:32,670
and l promise
l'll call you tomorrow.
311
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,510
BOB: You got all
the phone numbers, right?
Yeah.
312
00:17:34,590 --> 00:17:35,840
Okay.
Well, we're off.
313
00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:37,380
All right,
you take care of yourself.
Thanks a lot, Buck.
314
00:17:37,470 --> 00:17:39,090
Okay. All right.
We really appreciate it.
315
00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:40,600
Thanks. Thanks.
All right.
316
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:41,850
Thank you.
317
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,720
Say hi to your dad for me.
You can do it.
318
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:45,430
Drive safe, all right?
Okay, now.
319
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:46,940
Okay.
320
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:57,700
(WHlSTLES)
321
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,880
Boy, that's for sure.
322
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,020
Unbreakable.
323
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:36,900
Shit.
324
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:43,450
lt's 7:02 in the A.M. , you're
listening to W-l-don't-have
-to-go-to-work-today,
325
00:18:43,530 --> 00:18:45,120
brought to you
by Kobolowski Tires.
326
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,750
For the best in tires,
see Chanice Kobolowski.
327
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:51,790
(UPBEAT SONG PLAYlNG)
328
00:18:58,090 --> 00:18:59,970
(SlNGlNG ALONG)
329
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,280
Tia!
330
00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:25,490
You remember me?
331
00:19:29,910 --> 00:19:31,250
Uncle Buck.
332
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,540
The Uncle Buck.
333
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:43,970
Coffee drinker, huh?
334
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:00,900
Hungry?
335
00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:03,200
No.
Oh, come on, sure you are.
336
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,120
Everybody loves breakfast.
337
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,990
You've got to
have a good breakfast,
start the day off right.
338
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:09,740
Mmm.
339
00:20:12,790 --> 00:20:14,920
So where are the other ones?
340
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,040
Other ones what?
341
00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:18,250
The other kids.
342
00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:20,300
They have names.
343
00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:21,970
Miles and Maizy.
344
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,340
Are Miles and Maizy up yet?
345
00:20:25,430 --> 00:20:26,430
l woke them, thank you.
346
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:33,060
There you go.
Are you deaf?
347
00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:35,810
l said l wasn't hungry.
That's one of my specialties.
348
00:20:40,820 --> 00:20:42,900
l'd rather starve,
thank you.
349
00:20:42,990 --> 00:20:44,910
Does your mom know
you drink coffee?
350
00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:47,990
l'm not doing it
to impress you.
351
00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:50,450
l appreciate that.
352
00:20:52,540 --> 00:20:55,000
ls there any particular reason
why you're giving me such
a hard time?
353
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,170
Am l giving you a hard time?
354
00:21:00,170 --> 00:21:02,170
Well, l don't know.
355
00:21:03,380 --> 00:21:04,970
Hey! How you doing?
356
00:21:05,050 --> 00:21:06,470
Who are you?
357
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,390
l'm your Uncle Buck.
358
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:09,890
Do l have an uncle?
359
00:21:09,970 --> 00:21:11,430
Unfortunately.
360
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,020
Holy smokes.
361
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,140
He's cooking our garbage.
362
00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:25,400
Hey, where's your sister. . .
363
00:21:25,490 --> 00:21:27,780
Her name is Maizy. . .
Maizy.
364
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,660
. . .for the second time.
365
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,330
Sorry.
366
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:35,410
You must be hungry.
367
00:21:36,370 --> 00:21:37,830
Just for you.
368
00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:40,210
Oh, my God.
369
00:21:41,340 --> 00:21:43,130
He put onions in the eggs.
370
00:21:43,210 --> 00:21:45,130
l'll gonna go check on Maizy.
371
00:21:45,420 --> 00:21:47,720
l'll fix you some cereal
when l get back.
372
00:22:04,570 --> 00:22:05,690
Can l ask you something?
373
00:22:05,780 --> 00:22:06,900
What?
374
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,820
ls your sister
always this pleasant?
375
00:22:09,910 --> 00:22:12,910
No. She's usually in
a bad mood in the morning.
376
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:16,750
Ow!
377
00:22:16,830 --> 00:22:18,370
Do you want
knots in your hair?
378
00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:20,170
Ow!
Cut it out.
379
00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:21,710
l want Mom to do it.
380
00:22:21,790 --> 00:22:23,130
Mom's not here.
381
00:22:23,210 --> 00:22:24,880
She is too.
No, she's not.
382
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,720
She and Dad
went to lndianapolis.
383
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,380
They did not.
384
00:22:28,470 --> 00:22:29,680
Okay, they didn't.
385
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:30,970
They did?
386
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:33,810
Yes. l'm taking care of you.
387
00:22:33,930 --> 00:22:35,680
But you can't drive?
388
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:39,770
Where do you live?
The city.
389
00:22:39,850 --> 00:22:40,940
Do you have a house?
Apartment.
390
00:22:41,020 --> 00:22:42,060
Own or rent?
Rent.
391
00:22:42,150 --> 00:22:43,860
What do you do?
Lots of things.
392
00:22:43,940 --> 00:22:45,360
Where's your office?
l don't have one.
393
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:46,690
How come?
l don't need one.
394
00:22:46,780 --> 00:22:48,070
Where's your wife?
Don't have one.
395
00:22:48,150 --> 00:22:49,530
How come?
lt's a long story.
396
00:22:49,610 --> 00:22:50,950
Do you have kids?
No, l don't.
397
00:22:51,030 --> 00:22:52,660
How come?
lt's an even longer story.
398
00:22:52,740 --> 00:22:53,700
Are you my dad's brother?
399
00:22:53,780 --> 00:22:55,870
What's your record for
consecutive questions asked?
400
00:22:55,950 --> 00:22:56,950
38.
401
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,370
l'm your dad's brother
all right.
402
00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:00,670
You have more hair
on your nose than Dad.
403
00:23:00,750 --> 00:23:01,750
Nice of you to notice.
404
00:23:01,830 --> 00:23:02,960
l'm a kid. That's my job.
405
00:23:37,540 --> 00:23:39,950
That's my car.
That isn't my car.
406
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:54,840
(SCREAMlNG)
407
00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:02,810
Tying your shoe?
408
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:11,070
What time do you
want me to pick you up
after school?
409
00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:13,450
Don't bother.
l'll get a ride
with friends.
410
00:24:13,530 --> 00:24:15,370
No. l've got my orders.
What time?
411
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:20,910
Are you really this stupid?
l said l would get a ride.
l always get a ride.
412
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,920
l'll just call the school,
find out what time,
and l'll meet you right here.
413
00:24:24,670 --> 00:24:27,170
Go ahead. Call the school.
l won't be here.
414
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,010
Stand me up today,
and tomorrow
415
00:24:31,090 --> 00:24:35,220
l'll drive you to school in
my robe and pajamas and walk
you to your first class.
416
00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:37,680
4:00, okay?
417
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,770
l'm stunned that
l'm related to you.
418
00:24:42,020 --> 00:24:44,560
You get the pole
out of your keister,
we'll get along just fine.
419
00:24:47,730 --> 00:24:50,480
Did you ever have anyone
embarrass you like this?
420
00:24:59,660 --> 00:25:00,700
No.
421
00:25:18,470 --> 00:25:19,470
You think she hates me?
422
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:20,850
With a passion.
423
00:25:20,930 --> 00:25:22,930
Really.
You think it's the hat?
424
00:25:23,180 --> 00:25:24,600
No.
No?
425
00:25:25,100 --> 00:25:26,560
A lot of people hate this hat.
426
00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:29,360
lt angers a lot of people,
just the sight of it.
427
00:25:29,940 --> 00:25:32,780
l'll tell you a story
about that on the way
to school.
428
00:25:37,660 --> 00:25:40,740
Uh-huh. Yeah, right.
Listen, Buck.
For eight years,
429
00:25:40,830 --> 00:25:43,580
you have been making plans
and breaking plans.
430
00:25:43,790 --> 00:25:45,710
What are you talking about,
hon?
431
00:25:45,790 --> 00:25:49,750
Didn't we talk last night?
Didn't we talk last night
about this?
432
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,090
What did we talk about?
433
00:25:51,170 --> 00:25:52,800
Me playing the father.
434
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,510
l'm glad that you can
do it for your brother.
435
00:25:55,590 --> 00:25:57,050
You sure as hell
can't do it for me.
436
00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,300
How could l do it for you,
hon?
437
00:25:59,390 --> 00:26:01,970
We don't have kids.
What are you talking about?
438
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:05,850
Buck, l know you think
the job is pointless,
439
00:26:05,940 --> 00:26:07,890
and in some way,
l'm trying to
manipulate you,
440
00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:09,980
and control you
and ruin your life.
441
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:11,520
No.
442
00:26:12,650 --> 00:26:13,980
Look, l have to
fill the position.
443
00:26:14,070 --> 00:26:15,400
lt's important
to the company,
444
00:26:15,490 --> 00:26:17,070
it's important to me.
l'm swamped down here.
445
00:26:17,150 --> 00:26:18,820
Now, unless you
tell me different,
446
00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:20,490
l'm offering the job
to somebody else.
447
00:26:20,990 --> 00:26:23,280
Why don't you give me
a week to think about it.
448
00:26:23,370 --> 00:26:25,830
You know, 'cause
l don't know how long
l'm gonna be here, hon.
449
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:30,710
And, you know,
if during that week
you see somebody in there
450
00:26:30,790 --> 00:26:34,170
that's gonna fill the bill,
hire him, part-time basis
or whatever.
451
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,760
And that way, you know,
l'll make up my mind,
452
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,430
and you know,
we'll see where
we are at that point.
453
00:26:40,050 --> 00:26:41,890
Okay. Well, l have to go!
454
00:26:42,350 --> 00:26:44,010
Bye-bye, hon.
455
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,360
Eight. Eight more. Come on.
456
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,950
Work it.
Get the circulation going.
457
00:27:00,030 --> 00:27:01,740
Come on. Step it up.
458
00:27:02,620 --> 00:27:04,410
Isn't peace wonderfuI?
459
00:27:04,490 --> 00:27:07,330
Mikhail Gorbachev,
the most improbabIe
460
00:27:07,410 --> 00:27:09,460
eviI emperor in captivity,
461
00:27:09,790 --> 00:27:12,630
captivates Manhattan,
wows the UN,
462
00:27:12,710 --> 00:27:16,170
by announcing a uniIateraI
cut in the Soviet military,
463
00:27:16,710 --> 00:27:20,260
smiles and waves
with erstwhile cold warriors
464
00:27:20,470 --> 00:27:22,050
RonaId Reagan...
465
00:27:24,220 --> 00:27:25,470
(WHlNES)
466
00:27:33,810 --> 00:27:36,820
The stock market has
its best week since JuIy.
467
00:27:37,860 --> 00:27:39,150
Take that Karl Marx.
468
00:27:39,530 --> 00:27:41,070
(SNORlNG)
469
00:28:09,980 --> 00:28:12,310
Would you like to talk
about a possible lunch trade?
470
00:29:01,820 --> 00:29:03,190
Cover your ears.
471
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,490
What?
Just do it.
472
00:29:04,570 --> 00:29:05,740
(CAR BACKFlRES)
473
00:29:11,660 --> 00:29:14,960
Do you know
how whipped an engine
has to be to blow that loud?
474
00:29:23,470 --> 00:29:24,670
Call me.
475
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,260
You ever hear of a tune-up?
476
00:29:28,430 --> 00:29:29,640
(CHUCKLlNG)
477
00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:31,470
(LAUGHS MOCKlNGLY)
478
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:33,470
You ever hear
of a ritual killing?
479
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:35,180
(CONTlNUES MOCKlNG)
480
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:37,600
l don't get it.
481
00:29:37,690 --> 00:29:40,150
You gnaw on her face
in public like that again,
and you'll be one.
482
00:29:45,150 --> 00:29:46,360
Hey!
483
00:29:52,290 --> 00:29:54,120
Are you crazy?
l can be.
484
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,790
You could have
taken his head off!
485
00:29:55,870 --> 00:29:57,460
Yeah, but would he notice?
486
00:29:57,540 --> 00:29:59,460
Can we get
something straight?
487
00:29:59,540 --> 00:30:01,920
The guy's a predator,
and you're his prey.
488
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,960
Oh, really.
You bet.
489
00:30:04,050 --> 00:30:05,050
And how do you know?
490
00:30:05,130 --> 00:30:08,050
When l was his age,
l was the guy
zooming the girls like you.
491
00:30:09,220 --> 00:30:11,470
Pretty face,
big chip on your shoulder.
492
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,020
l recommend that you
stay out of my personal life.
493
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,480
Do your parents stay out
of your personal life?
494
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,900
They don't know
my personal life.
495
00:30:21,610 --> 00:30:22,730
Have they met twiddle dink?
496
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:25,990
His name is Bug.
(SCOFFS)
497
00:30:27,650 --> 00:30:29,160
First or last?
498
00:30:29,570 --> 00:30:32,240
First.
What's his last name, Spray?
499
00:30:35,910 --> 00:30:38,620
You should talk, Buck.
500
00:30:56,850 --> 00:30:58,060
No.
501
00:30:58,140 --> 00:30:59,270
No. N-O.
502
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,150
Don't look at me like that.
503
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:04,480
Don't.
504
00:31:05,570 --> 00:31:06,860
That's not fair.
505
00:31:12,910 --> 00:31:15,200
Don't you have
a favorite doll
or something?
506
00:31:16,830 --> 00:31:18,040
Why don't we get
one of your dolls
507
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:19,500
and put your dad's
pajamas on him?
508
00:31:19,580 --> 00:31:20,620
No.
509
00:31:27,460 --> 00:31:29,800
Your brother!
What about your brother?
510
00:31:31,220 --> 00:31:33,640
How about the dog?
You know the dog.
511
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:41,140
You can't.
You just can't.
512
00:31:43,150 --> 00:31:46,980
lt's a new law.
That's it.
lt's in the books.
513
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:50,820
You don't want
to sleep with me.
514
00:31:50,950 --> 00:31:52,280
(PHONE RlNGlNG)
515
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,120
Can somebody get that,
please?
516
00:31:56,910 --> 00:31:59,160
Do l have to do
everything around here?
517
00:32:04,500 --> 00:32:05,540
MlLES: Yo.
518
00:32:05,630 --> 00:32:07,670
ClNDY:
Hi, sweetie. How are you?
519
00:32:07,750 --> 00:32:09,800
Fine. l'm earning my keep.
520
00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:11,880
Uncle Buck's got me
busting my hump.
521
00:32:12,220 --> 00:32:14,720
He says a little hard work
will put hair on my chest.
522
00:32:15,220 --> 00:32:16,220
At least
l'm learning a trade.
523
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:17,930
That's good.
524
00:32:18,890 --> 00:32:20,350
Grandpa's feeling
a little bit better.
525
00:32:21,020 --> 00:32:23,890
And he sent you
big hugs and kisses.
526
00:32:24,060 --> 00:32:25,270
Tell him to hang in there.
527
00:32:26,770 --> 00:32:28,320
Can you get Uncle Buck?
528
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:29,530
Will do, chickie.
529
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:32,360
Mom.
530
00:32:32,570 --> 00:32:33,700
Hi.
531
00:32:33,780 --> 00:32:37,030
Next time you take off,
why don't you hire
a murderer to watch the house?
532
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,830
This guy's a joke.
533
00:32:39,910 --> 00:32:43,460
Well, why don't you
just go your way
and let him go his.
534
00:32:44,580 --> 00:32:46,710
While he systematically
dismantles my life.
535
00:32:47,090 --> 00:32:50,090
Another drawback
is l'm a big drooler.
536
00:32:50,300 --> 00:32:51,800
You could wake up
in the middle
of the night
537
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:53,420
thinking you were
asleep in a swamp.
538
00:32:53,550 --> 00:32:54,880
Mom's on the phone.
539
00:32:54,970 --> 00:32:56,760
Oh, good.
l'll be right there.
540
00:32:56,850 --> 00:32:59,390
The guy took off and
left Miles and Maizy alone.
541
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:04,060
Plus. . .he drinks.
542
00:33:04,690 --> 00:33:06,270
Did you brush
your teeth?
543
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,110
Yeah.
You can feel
my toothbrush.
544
00:33:08,190 --> 00:33:11,440
l have a friend
who works at the crime
lab at the police station.
545
00:33:11,940 --> 00:33:13,530
l could give him
your toothbrush
546
00:33:13,610 --> 00:33:16,530
and he could run
a test on it to see if you
actually brushed your teeth
547
00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:19,580
or just ran your toothbrush
under the faucet.
548
00:33:27,580 --> 00:33:31,500
lf that's true,
we're gonna really have to
start brushing our teeth.
549
00:33:33,090 --> 00:33:34,420
Hi. How are you?
550
00:33:34,590 --> 00:33:36,260
ClNDY: I'm okay.
How's everything?
551
00:33:36,390 --> 00:33:37,760
Good. Good.
552
00:33:38,220 --> 00:33:39,470
You sure?
553
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,220
Everything is fine here.
Everything is fine.
554
00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:43,890
Kids are okay?
555
00:33:43,980 --> 00:33:46,850
Kids are great!
We're having
a great time together.
556
00:33:46,940 --> 00:33:48,400
How's your dad?
557
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,900
He's okay. He's okay.
He's getting better.
Thanks.
558
00:33:51,190 --> 00:33:53,360
Good. Well, that's good news.
That's encouraging.
559
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:55,360
I've got a reaI
good feeIing about this.
He's gonna be fine.
560
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:57,860
l've got a few questions
for you.
561
00:33:58,620 --> 00:34:01,370
You know, you got
an interesting set of pIates
in the Iiving room there.
562
00:34:01,450 --> 00:34:02,450
Are they oId?
563
00:34:02,540 --> 00:34:03,540
Yeah.
564
00:34:03,620 --> 00:34:04,620
They are.
565
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,040
Where would you find
something like that?
566
00:34:08,130 --> 00:34:10,460
ln an antique shop
downtown or something?
567
00:34:12,590 --> 00:34:13,630
ln England.
568
00:34:14,090 --> 00:34:15,300
(WHlSTLES)
Everything eIse seems...
569
00:34:21,180 --> 00:34:23,310
How many times a day
do you feed a dog
like that?
570
00:34:24,060 --> 00:34:27,730
How many times a day
do you think he eats?
571
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:29,520
Four or five.
572
00:34:30,230 --> 00:34:32,480
l should have told you
that he eats once.
He eats once a day.
573
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,610
Just once.
574
00:34:36,070 --> 00:34:38,570
What does he like
to drink? Water?
575
00:34:38,660 --> 00:34:40,660
Yes. He drinks water.
576
00:34:40,740 --> 00:34:42,240
l'd keep some water out.
577
00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:44,290
l've been leaving
the toilet seats up.
578
00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:46,330
Yeah.
579
00:34:47,410 --> 00:34:49,290
ls that what
the blue water is?
lt's not good for him.
580
00:34:49,580 --> 00:34:51,330
(GROANS) Oh, God.
581
00:34:51,630 --> 00:34:53,500
That might account
for something.
582
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,210
Nothing.
583
00:34:55,340 --> 00:34:59,510
Just an odd coloration
out on the grass.
584
00:35:00,470 --> 00:35:01,840
Buck, um. . .
585
00:35:03,970 --> 00:35:07,810
l just want you to know
it makes me feel very secure
to know that you're there.
586
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:12,520
(CRYlNG)
Thank you very much.
587
00:35:12,810 --> 00:35:14,190
Okay. Bye-bye.
588
00:35:21,450 --> 00:35:24,410
Bob!
589
00:36:48,410 --> 00:36:49,410
(SlGHS)
590
00:36:57,710 --> 00:36:59,040
Cindy.
591
00:37:09,010 --> 00:37:10,470
Come on. Open up.
592
00:37:12,850 --> 00:37:14,020
Hello.
593
00:37:22,530 --> 00:37:23,990
BUCK: l'm getting mad.
594
00:37:24,070 --> 00:37:25,280
All right.
595
00:37:25,410 --> 00:37:27,410
Get ready. Here l come.
596
00:37:27,490 --> 00:37:28,780
Come on.
597
00:37:28,870 --> 00:37:30,370
What? Do l have
to talk dirty to you?
598
00:37:30,450 --> 00:37:31,830
Come on,
open up for daddy.
599
00:37:34,210 --> 00:37:36,500
There we go.
Come on.
Nice and easy.
600
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:40,420
Come on, there we go.
Ah ! Take that!
601
00:37:40,500 --> 00:37:42,630
Take that!
Come on ! You don't want
the crowbar, do you?
602
00:37:42,710 --> 00:37:43,710
Come on !
603
00:37:45,010 --> 00:37:46,430
Open up!
604
00:37:46,510 --> 00:37:47,640
Come on !
605
00:37:48,470 --> 00:37:50,550
l'm going to
shove my load into you
whether you like it or not.
606
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:51,640
Come on ! (GROANS)
607
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,310
Come on,
you son of a bitch.
608
00:37:54,770 --> 00:37:55,770
Open up.
609
00:37:58,810 --> 00:37:59,900
Okay. (SlGHS)
610
00:38:09,870 --> 00:38:10,910
(SCREAMlNG)
611
00:38:15,710 --> 00:38:17,120
Freeze!
What?
612
00:38:17,210 --> 00:38:18,790
Who are you?
Cindy!
613
00:38:19,290 --> 00:38:20,500
She's in lndianapolis.
614
00:38:20,590 --> 00:38:22,210
What's she doing
in lndianapolis?
615
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,090
Her father had a heart attack.
616
00:38:24,510 --> 00:38:27,470
Who are you?
And how do you know
her father had a heart attack?
617
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,130
l'm her brother-in-law.
618
00:38:29,220 --> 00:38:31,430
Oh, yeah !
Who you talking dirty to?
619
00:38:34,470 --> 00:38:35,930
The washing machine.
620
00:38:36,390 --> 00:38:37,810
l. . .
l don't know
how to work it,
621
00:38:37,890 --> 00:38:39,650
so l was kicking it
and swearing at it,
622
00:38:39,730 --> 00:38:42,360
you know, which is not
an uncommon thing to do.
623
00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:44,320
And you thought that. . .
624
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:45,940
(CHUCKLlNG) Oh, jeez. . .
625
00:38:46,030 --> 00:38:47,320
l apologize.
626
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:48,490
Okay.
627
00:38:50,570 --> 00:38:52,240
Boy! That's funny.
628
00:38:54,660 --> 00:38:56,660
l live across the street.
629
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,040
My name is Marcie.
630
00:38:58,500 --> 00:38:59,500
Buck Russell.
631
00:39:00,580 --> 00:39:02,040
Marcie Dahlgren-Frost.
632
00:39:02,420 --> 00:39:03,840
Dahlgren is my maiden name.
633
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:04,960
Frost is my married name.
634
00:39:05,050 --> 00:39:08,050
l'm single again,
but l never bothered
to lose the Frost.
635
00:39:09,380 --> 00:39:11,340
And l get compliments
on the hyphen.
636
00:39:11,430 --> 00:39:13,350
Sure you would.
Sure you would.
Yeah.
637
00:39:14,970 --> 00:39:17,600
Well, l came
to invite Cindy
to lunch.
638
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,890
But since she's not here,
do you have plans?
639
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,690
Actually, l got a lot
of things to do around here.
640
00:39:23,770 --> 00:39:25,150
Rain check?
641
00:39:26,190 --> 00:39:28,190
l'll only be here
a couple days.
642
00:39:28,570 --> 00:39:30,530
Cindy said it would
only be a couple days?
643
00:39:30,610 --> 00:39:32,870
Well, she didn't specify.
l just assumed, you know.
644
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,040
My father's heart attack,
l was out of town
for three weeks.
645
00:39:36,490 --> 00:39:38,160
No wonder Cindy
didn't call me.
646
00:39:38,620 --> 00:39:41,370
You need a relative
for an imposition this size.
647
00:39:52,300 --> 00:39:53,510
Waiting for your sex?
648
00:39:54,350 --> 00:39:55,600
Shut up.
649
00:39:55,930 --> 00:40:00,230
Tia.
650
00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:04,980
What did you blow
all that make-up for?
We're just going bowling.
651
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:07,150
l'm not going bowling.
652
00:40:07,230 --> 00:40:08,230
Come on, it's a great sport.
653
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,740
And it's virtually
impossible to get pregnant
while doing it.
654
00:40:11,150 --> 00:40:12,150
lf you catch my drift.
655
00:40:12,910 --> 00:40:14,570
You're disgusting.
656
00:40:15,330 --> 00:40:17,490
l'll die before
l go anywhere with you.
657
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:19,200
lt's gonna be fun.
658
00:40:19,290 --> 00:40:20,500
They have rent-a-shoes.
659
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:22,620
And rent-a-foot-disease.
660
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:24,790
We've done
the battle of the wills.
661
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:26,790
The deck's stacked
in my favor.
662
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,000
You're just gonna
lose again.
663
00:40:29,130 --> 00:40:30,340
Try me.
664
00:40:31,260 --> 00:40:32,930
How'd you like to spend
the next several nights
665
00:40:33,010 --> 00:40:35,970
wondering if your crazy
out-of-work bum uncle
666
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,850
will shave your head
while you sleep?
667
00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:40,970
See you in the car.
668
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:43,100
(EERlE MUSlC PLAYlNG)
669
00:40:43,190 --> 00:40:44,190
(MlMlCS SHAVER BUZZlNG)
670
00:41:13,010 --> 00:41:14,300
Yeah !
671
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:21,970
There you go.
672
00:41:22,060 --> 00:41:23,890
Now, this is
a bowling ball.
673
00:41:58,090 --> 00:41:59,180
How you doing?
674
00:41:59,260 --> 00:42:01,050
l've never seen you
here before.
675
00:42:01,430 --> 00:42:02,930
l know about everybody.
676
00:42:03,270 --> 00:42:05,230
That's why
they call me Pal.
677
00:42:06,770 --> 00:42:08,310
Buy you a beer?
678
00:42:09,270 --> 00:42:11,150
You must be
a college student, right?
679
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,150
Cheerleader, probably.
680
00:42:15,530 --> 00:42:16,950
You look firm.
681
00:42:17,780 --> 00:42:19,410
Come on. Give it a push.
682
00:42:20,870 --> 00:42:23,120
You like all-terrain vehicles?
683
00:42:24,290 --> 00:42:29,330
l got a brand-new
Bronco right out in
the parking lot. Red.
684
00:42:30,290 --> 00:42:31,790
Want to go for a ride?
685
00:42:35,590 --> 00:42:37,590
Maizy,
if the object
of the game were
686
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,760
to get the ball
as close to the pins
without knocking any over,
687
00:42:41,260 --> 00:42:43,680
you would be champion
of the world.
688
00:42:43,810 --> 00:42:45,310
Really?
Really.
689
00:42:52,650 --> 00:42:54,690
My throat sort of hurts.
690
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:55,780
l can't talk.
691
00:42:56,610 --> 00:42:58,030
l got a cure for that.
692
00:43:04,290 --> 00:43:05,410
Buck.
693
00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:07,450
You got a game somewhere, Pal?
694
00:43:07,540 --> 00:43:08,580
Yeah.
695
00:43:08,670 --> 00:43:10,420
You won't get any strikes
sitting there, are you?
696
00:43:10,500 --> 00:43:11,710
Move it!
Go on, get out!
697
00:43:15,380 --> 00:43:17,920
Hey, shithead !
Where the hell
you been, huh?
698
00:43:18,010 --> 00:43:20,180
(BOTH VOCALlZlNG)
699
00:43:20,510 --> 00:43:22,260
BOTH: Hey! Hey! Hey!
700
00:43:23,510 --> 00:43:25,510
Come on, sit down.
l want you
to meet my niece.
701
00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:27,980
Tia, this is Rog.
Rog, Tia.
702
00:43:28,140 --> 00:43:29,560
Hi. How are you?
703
00:43:29,690 --> 00:43:31,650
E. Roger Coswell.
704
00:43:32,190 --> 00:43:34,400
Come on.
lt ain't gonna bite.
705
00:43:36,780 --> 00:43:40,400
Okay. You've got to let
somebody know where you are.
706
00:43:40,490 --> 00:43:42,660
l've been checking
car trunks for your corpse.
707
00:43:42,740 --> 00:43:43,780
Yeah, l'm sorry
about that.
708
00:43:43,870 --> 00:43:46,540
l've been out in the suburbs
looking after my brother's
kids for a few days.
709
00:43:47,910 --> 00:43:49,120
They're cute!
Oh, l tell you.
710
00:43:49,210 --> 00:43:52,040
Art Linkletter was right,
kids do say
the god damnedest things.
711
00:43:52,330 --> 00:43:53,920
ls Chanice here?
712
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,750
No. l'm kinda
flying solo tonight.
713
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,710
l want to let her have it
for not marrying you.
714
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,680
You know, if she caged you
and married your
worthless butt,
715
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,510
l'd be able to find you.
716
00:44:03,590 --> 00:44:05,220
l got to talk business.
l can't find you.
717
00:44:05,930 --> 00:44:08,890
Why don't we step
in my office, then?
718
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:10,980
Excuse us, will you.
Come on.
719
00:44:11,730 --> 00:44:12,890
lt was nice meeting you.
720
00:44:13,020 --> 00:44:14,860
l'll remember it always.
721
00:44:19,070 --> 00:44:20,320
Cute kid.
722
00:44:21,030 --> 00:44:22,860
Jimmy Bean called.
723
00:44:23,610 --> 00:44:24,660
Oh, yeah?
724
00:44:24,740 --> 00:44:26,280
He's coming in
for the Winter Million
725
00:44:26,370 --> 00:44:28,080
at Burlington Park
on Friday.
726
00:44:28,410 --> 00:44:31,080
He says it's a boat race.
Very easy money.
727
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:32,660
He owes you
and he owes me.
728
00:44:32,750 --> 00:44:35,210
So he says
we should show up
an hour before post time
729
00:44:35,290 --> 00:44:36,710
and he'll
give us the tip.
730
00:44:37,090 --> 00:44:40,550
Consider this, Buck,
with this score,
your whole year's covered.
731
00:44:42,510 --> 00:44:43,510
Huh?
732
00:44:46,260 --> 00:44:47,760
Maybe l can make it work.
733
00:44:48,930 --> 00:44:50,600
l'll see you Friday night.
734
00:44:51,430 --> 00:44:52,430
Thanks, Rog.
735
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:54,600
Watch the sterno,
will you?
736
00:45:00,110 --> 00:45:01,990
Hey,
watch your fingers.
737
00:45:02,780 --> 00:45:03,860
Yay!
738
00:45:05,780 --> 00:45:07,030
What's a Chanice?
739
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:10,740
That's someone
who's sometimes
seen around a Buck.
740
00:45:10,830 --> 00:45:12,540
Your girlfriend?
741
00:45:12,620 --> 00:45:15,620
A friend, and, yes,
she is a girl.
742
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:17,960
Are you supposed
to marry her or something?
743
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,420
The subject has come up, yes,
but nothing serious.
744
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,550
Maybe if you got married,
you'd stop being
such an asshole.
745
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:31,810
Cigar?
746
00:45:32,180 --> 00:45:33,310
No, thanks.
747
00:45:33,390 --> 00:45:35,350
Let me know if
you change your mind.
748
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:36,440
l will.
749
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,190
l'll get it nice
and juicy for you.
750
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:53,410
This is
where you separate
the men from the boys.
751
00:45:55,620 --> 00:45:59,250
Easy. Easy.
There you go. Yeah.
752
00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:01,000
l got you now.
753
00:46:12,850 --> 00:46:14,810
Happy birthday!
754
00:46:14,890 --> 00:46:15,890
Whoo!
755
00:46:17,690 --> 00:46:19,400
l hope you're hungry.
756
00:46:20,860 --> 00:46:21,940
You should see the toast!
757
00:46:22,020 --> 00:46:23,650
l couldn't even
get it through the door.
758
00:46:31,830 --> 00:46:34,370
Ah, announcement here.
759
00:46:34,700 --> 00:46:37,040
There's going to be
a little delay on the clown.
760
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:38,500
What clown?
761
00:46:38,710 --> 00:46:40,420
Miles' mom hired a clown.
762
00:46:40,500 --> 00:46:41,500
(EXCLAlMS)
763
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:45,630
(BREATHlNG HEAVlLY)
764
00:46:49,550 --> 00:46:50,550
(GROANS)
765
00:46:51,550 --> 00:46:52,550
(BELCHES)
766
00:46:56,770 --> 00:46:58,190
What's the matter?
You don't like clowns?
767
00:46:58,690 --> 00:47:00,440
(DOORBELL RlNGlNG)
Yeah. About five years ago.
768
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,020
Clowns are so boring,
they make me puke.
769
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:06,070
(MUMBLlNG)
770
00:47:07,610 --> 00:47:09,530
Screw them.
That's all they get.
771
00:47:10,570 --> 00:47:11,620
(LAUGHlNG)
772
00:47:11,700 --> 00:47:13,370
l'm Pooter-The-Clown.
773
00:47:13,580 --> 00:47:14,870
Put it there.
774
00:47:16,370 --> 00:47:17,370
(HONKS)
775
00:47:17,750 --> 00:47:19,080
The kids will love that.
776
00:47:19,170 --> 00:47:21,080
l didn't order you.
My sister-in-law did.
777
00:47:21,170 --> 00:47:23,750
She's not here right now.
l'm looking after them.
l'm the uncle.
778
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:24,960
l'm Buck Russell.
779
00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:27,340
Great, listen,
l'm sorry l'm late.
780
00:47:27,420 --> 00:47:30,680
l was
at this all-night
bachelorette party.
781
00:47:31,010 --> 00:47:32,340
Need any dildo jokes?
782
00:47:32,430 --> 00:47:34,100
Wham ! l'm the guy!
783
00:47:38,890 --> 00:47:40,640
What did you have?
A few drinks this morning?
784
00:47:41,270 --> 00:47:43,480
Huh? l think you did,
didn't you?
785
00:47:44,150 --> 00:47:45,690
Who are you?
Mother Cabrini?
786
00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:47,320
You never
touch the stuff?
787
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:48,650
No, no, no,
788
00:47:48,740 --> 00:47:51,570
but l wouldn't be drinking
if l was going to
entertain some kids.
789
00:47:51,660 --> 00:47:53,870
l don't have
to take any shit
from you.
790
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:55,530
You know who l am?
791
00:47:55,620 --> 00:47:59,000
ln the field of
local live home
entertainment,
792
00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:00,410
l'm a God !
793
00:48:01,460 --> 00:48:03,830
Get in your mouse
and get out of here.
794
00:48:04,460 --> 00:48:06,800
Hey, you, let me
tell you something,
795
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:11,510
you low-life, lying,
four-flushing sack of shit.
796
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:16,760
(GROWLS)
797
00:48:34,820 --> 00:48:36,950
Let's go out
to the car, huh?
798
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:40,250
Why?
799
00:48:41,620 --> 00:48:43,670
What do you mean,
why?
800
00:48:49,510 --> 00:48:50,760
Not now.
801
00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:52,840
lt's fine.
802
00:48:55,180 --> 00:48:57,010
lt's not fine.
803
00:48:57,720 --> 00:48:58,970
Why not?
804
00:49:00,810 --> 00:49:02,640
l just don't
feel right yet.
805
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:06,230
You ever going
to feel right?
806
00:49:12,490 --> 00:49:13,990
l don't get
where we're going.
807
00:49:14,070 --> 00:49:17,070
l told you 25 times.
We're going to pick up Tia.
808
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,080
She's at
a cheerleader's house
having dinner.
809
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:20,450
Well, so she says.
810
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:23,370
Since when do cheerleaders
live in the woods?
811
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:30,130
Come on.
l'll take you home now.
812
00:49:32,090 --> 00:49:34,050
l don't want to go home.
813
00:49:38,260 --> 00:49:39,550
l'm okay.
814
00:49:40,220 --> 00:49:41,470
Sure?
815
00:49:45,850 --> 00:49:47,230
Trust me.
816
00:49:56,530 --> 00:49:57,610
(CAR BACKFlRES)
817
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:00,580
Shit!
Shit!
818
00:50:17,930 --> 00:50:19,550
Well, well, well.
819
00:50:19,970 --> 00:50:23,680
They certainly are scraping
the bottom of the barrel
for cheerleaders these days.
820
00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:26,980
What are you doing here?
821
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,600
We were just driving by,
going out for some ice cream.
822
00:50:29,690 --> 00:50:31,190
Thought you might
like to join us.
823
00:50:31,900 --> 00:50:35,190
l said l would
be home at 1 0:00.
lt's not even 9:00.
824
00:50:38,570 --> 00:50:42,080
Who said anything about that?
l just thought you'd like
to join us for some ice cream.
825
00:50:42,910 --> 00:50:44,790
Maybe your Bug here
can join us.
826
00:50:44,950 --> 00:50:47,000
We can talk about
burying the hatchet.
827
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:48,960
You know what
a hatchet is,
don't you, Bug?
828
00:50:49,250 --> 00:50:50,630
lt's an ax?
829
00:50:50,790 --> 00:50:52,290
Sort of. Yeah. Yeah.
830
00:50:53,130 --> 00:50:55,000
l got one in the car
if you'd like to see it.
831
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:57,970
l'll pass.
832
00:50:58,090 --> 00:51:00,930
Fair enough.
l like to carry it.
833
00:51:01,140 --> 00:51:03,050
You never know
when you're gonna need it.
834
00:51:04,060 --> 00:51:07,020
A situation
may come up, say,
835
00:51:07,100 --> 00:51:11,810
for example, someone's been
drinking and about to drive
a loved one home,
836
00:51:12,730 --> 00:51:14,320
then l like
to know l have it.
837
00:51:14,690 --> 00:51:17,780
Not to kill.
(CHUCKLES)
Just to maim.
838
00:51:18,740 --> 00:51:21,320
Take a little
off the shoulder. Woosh !
839
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:23,490
The elbow.
840
00:51:23,660 --> 00:51:26,490
Shave a little meat
off the old kneecap.
841
00:51:26,700 --> 00:51:27,700
Whoo.
842
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:29,660
You got both kneecaps?
843
00:51:30,420 --> 00:51:32,920
l like to keep mine
razor-sharp, too.
844
00:51:33,130 --> 00:51:35,210
Sharp enough
you can shave with them.
845
00:51:35,300 --> 00:51:37,840
Why, l've been known
to circumcise a gnat.
846
00:51:39,340 --> 00:51:41,470
You're not a gnat,
are you, Bug?
847
00:51:41,550 --> 00:51:45,100
Wait a minute.
Bug, gnat.
848
00:51:47,020 --> 00:51:49,180
ls there a little
similarity there?
849
00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:53,900
Whoa! l think there is.
850
00:51:56,190 --> 00:51:58,780
You understand
what l'm talking about?
851
00:51:59,860 --> 00:52:01,650
l don't think you do.
852
00:52:01,740 --> 00:52:03,490
l'll be right back.
853
00:52:11,790 --> 00:52:13,120
l'm sorry.
854
00:52:13,210 --> 00:52:15,170
Look, um, l think
you'd better split.
855
00:52:15,250 --> 00:52:17,920
You know, l don't
exactly want him going
berserk with an ax on me.
856
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:20,170
He's all talk.
857
00:52:20,260 --> 00:52:21,630
Here it is.
858
00:52:22,720 --> 00:52:25,850
Come on over. Come on,
l wanna show it to you.
859
00:52:27,890 --> 00:52:29,310
Maybe later.
860
00:52:30,060 --> 00:52:31,140
Okay.
861
00:52:37,780 --> 00:52:40,240
He's gone in a few days.
862
00:52:40,740 --> 00:52:41,740
Just relax.
863
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:45,070
l'll get him back.
864
00:53:00,460 --> 00:53:03,170
That's a pretty stupid thing
to do during flu season.
865
00:53:03,260 --> 00:53:05,300
l bet she's getting
the tongue.
866
00:54:08,620 --> 00:54:09,660
BUCK: Just looking.
867
00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:30,740
Next.
868
00:55:32,620 --> 00:55:34,330
Tell you what.
Let me go in
there first, okay?
869
00:55:34,410 --> 00:55:37,250
l'll cover for you,
give you a little more
time out here to relax.
870
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:39,080
Okay. Mmm.
All right?
871
00:55:47,420 --> 00:55:48,800
Good morning.
872
00:55:56,430 --> 00:55:58,180
l'm Anita Hoargarth.
873
00:55:58,890 --> 00:56:01,980
Buck Melanoma,
Moley Russell's wart.
874
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:09,440
Not her wart,
not her wart.
l'm the wart.
875
00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:13,780
She's my tumor,
my growth, my. . .my pimple.
876
00:56:13,870 --> 00:56:15,200
l'm "Uncle Wart."
877
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:18,080
Buck "Wart" Russell,
that's what they call me.
878
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:20,870
Or melanoma head.
They'll call me that.
879
00:56:21,790 --> 00:56:23,790
"Melanoma head's" coming.
880
00:56:24,540 --> 00:56:27,210
l'm. . . Uncle,
Maizy Russell's uncle.
881
00:56:27,300 --> 00:56:28,840
Her uncle.
882
00:56:29,630 --> 00:56:32,510
Her mother set up
this conference with you.
883
00:56:33,300 --> 00:56:35,390
l'm assistant
principal here,
884
00:56:35,470 --> 00:56:38,850
as you've probably noticed
from the indications
on the door.
885
00:56:42,810 --> 00:56:44,020
This door?
886
00:56:44,100 --> 00:56:45,770
The outer door. Yes.
The outer door.
887
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,230
There's nothing on this one.
888
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:50,230
That's just about
enough of that.
889
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:53,490
Sorry.
890
00:56:54,660 --> 00:56:59,740
l've been an educator
for 31 .3 years,
891
00:56:59,830 --> 00:57:03,620
and in that time,
l've seen a lot
of bad eggs.
892
00:57:03,750 --> 00:57:07,170
l say "eggs" because
at the elementary level,
893
00:57:07,250 --> 00:57:10,340
we are not dealing with
fully developed individuals.
894
00:57:14,010 --> 00:57:18,140
l see a bad egg
when l look
at your niece.
895
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:24,060
She is a twiddler,
a dreamer, a silly heart.
896
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:26,400
She is a jabberbox.
897
00:57:26,690 --> 00:57:28,190
And frankly. . .
898
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:35,200
l don't think she takes
a thing in her life or her
career as a student seriously.
899
00:57:38,450 --> 00:57:39,740
She's only six.
900
00:57:39,830 --> 00:57:41,660
That is not
a valid excuse!
901
00:57:41,750 --> 00:57:44,250
l hear that every day
and l dismiss it.
902
00:57:45,170 --> 00:57:46,750
l don't think
l want to know
a six-year-old
903
00:57:46,830 --> 00:57:48,880
who isn't a dreamer,
or a silly heart.
904
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:52,130
And l sure don't want to
know one who takes their
student career seriously.
905
00:57:53,300 --> 00:57:55,550
l don't have a college degree
906
00:57:56,050 --> 00:57:57,550
l don't even have a job.
907
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:02,680
Does anyone have a special
story about something
that happened this week?
908
00:58:03,890 --> 00:58:04,890
Maizy.
909
00:58:05,350 --> 00:58:07,100
My uncle was
microwaving my socks,
910
00:58:07,190 --> 00:58:09,900
and the dog
threw up on the couch
for about an hour.
911
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:11,900
Honest?
Yes.
912
00:58:12,230 --> 00:58:14,240
Why was your uncle
microwaving your socks?
913
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,820
He can't get the goddamn
washing machine to work.
914
00:58:17,110 --> 00:58:18,490
Blasphemer!
915
00:58:19,410 --> 00:58:21,530
BUCK: l know a good kid
when l see one.
916
00:58:21,620 --> 00:58:23,410
Because they're
all good kids
917
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:26,790
until dried-out,
brain-dead skags
like you
918
00:58:26,870 --> 00:58:29,040
drag them down
and convince them
they're no good.
919
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:32,960
You so much as scowl
at my niece or any other
kid in this school
920
00:58:33,050 --> 00:58:34,210
and l hear about it,
921
00:58:34,300 --> 00:58:35,800
l'm coming looking for you.
922
00:58:38,930 --> 00:58:40,600
Take this quarter.
923
00:58:41,350 --> 00:58:45,020
Go downtown, and have a rat
gnaw that thing off your face.
924
00:58:45,100 --> 00:58:46,100
(GASPS)
925
00:58:46,850 --> 00:58:48,230
Good day to you, madam.
926
00:58:56,070 --> 00:58:57,110
Next.
927
00:58:57,860 --> 00:58:59,240
Ah, yeah !
928
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:22,470
TERRY: Hi, Chanice.
This is Terry.
929
00:59:23,260 --> 00:59:24,890
Walt Bern...
930
00:59:25,390 --> 00:59:29,350
Jesus, would you
get with the program.
Bernstein is his name.
931
00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:31,150
I forgot to give you
the message.
932
00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:34,980
At least somebody knows
what they're doing down there.
933
00:59:35,570 --> 00:59:37,070
BUCK: Chanice? Buck.
934
00:59:39,150 --> 00:59:41,030
I hate these machines.
935
00:59:41,620 --> 00:59:44,830
Look, I'm just caIIing
to say I miss you.
936
00:59:46,330 --> 00:59:49,210
I know you probabIy
don't believe it,
but it's true.
937
00:59:49,290 --> 00:59:50,830
No, I haven't been drinking.
938
00:59:51,330 --> 00:59:52,670
I've been thinking
a Iot about you
939
00:59:52,750 --> 00:59:55,340
and what we've talked about
the past few weeks.
940
00:59:55,420 --> 00:59:57,420
I think about you
all the time.
941
00:59:57,510 --> 01:00:00,880
I think about those
two dimpIes on your buns.
942
01:00:01,090 --> 01:00:02,390
Dimples.
943
01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:04,600
What did we call them?
944
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:08,850
The one
on the right was Lyndon,
and the left was Johnson.
945
01:00:08,930 --> 01:00:10,770
No, that was
your boobs we did.
946
01:00:10,850 --> 01:00:12,310
No, your boobs
were Minnie and Mickey.
947
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,020
I remember that
because of Disney WorId.
948
01:00:14,940 --> 01:00:16,270
And Felix.
Felix is what
we caIIed your...
949
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:17,360
(CAT SCREECHES)
950
01:00:18,530 --> 01:00:20,700
BUCK: God damn kids.
951
01:00:21,030 --> 01:00:22,450
Okay. Come on, you.
952
01:00:22,530 --> 01:00:23,610
Come on,
get in the house.
953
01:00:23,700 --> 01:00:25,870
What are you doing out here,
making all this noise?
954
01:00:26,620 --> 01:00:27,830
Get in the house
where you belong.
955
01:00:27,910 --> 01:00:29,540
Come on ! Come on !
956
01:00:30,290 --> 01:00:31,370
Hey!
957
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:33,670
Who let the cat out?
958
01:00:33,750 --> 01:00:35,540
MlLES: We don't have a cat.
959
01:00:36,170 --> 01:00:37,920
Come on ! Get out!
960
01:00:38,090 --> 01:00:39,210
Go on ! Shoo!
961
01:00:46,350 --> 01:00:47,390
Hey!
962
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:49,770
(MAlZY LAUGHlNG)
963
01:00:49,850 --> 01:00:51,060
Open up!
964
01:00:51,890 --> 01:00:53,060
Miles?
965
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,520
(PHONE RlNGlNG)
966
01:00:59,610 --> 01:01:00,610
Hello.
967
01:01:00,690 --> 01:01:02,650
Hi. May l please speak
to Buck Russell?
968
01:01:02,740 --> 01:01:05,030
This is a friend of his
Chanice Kobolowski.
969
01:01:07,490 --> 01:01:11,290
l'm sorry, Chanice.
He's not here right now.
970
01:01:13,250 --> 01:01:15,210
Well, can you tell me
when he's gonna be back?
971
01:01:15,290 --> 01:01:16,750
He went out with Marcie,
972
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,920
the lady who lives
across the street.
973
01:01:19,630 --> 01:01:21,510
They usually
stay out pretty late.
974
01:01:26,550 --> 01:01:27,850
Do you want to
leave a message?
975
01:01:34,900 --> 01:01:36,310
No. There's no message.
976
01:01:55,830 --> 01:01:57,580
There's no message.
977
01:02:23,280 --> 01:02:24,360
Hot!
978
01:02:38,290 --> 01:02:41,090
MARClE: ls there a big,
sexy guy in here?
979
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:43,420
Oh, please
don't let it be true.
980
01:02:45,130 --> 01:02:46,170
Hi.
981
01:02:46,260 --> 01:02:49,300
Oh, my God !
What are you doing?
982
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:51,600
The laundry.
What's it look like?
983
01:02:52,100 --> 01:02:53,640
The washing machine's
still broken,
984
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:55,470
so l thought
l'd use the microwave.
985
01:02:55,810 --> 01:02:58,020
Nuke them up, you know.
Heats them up pretty good, too.
986
01:02:58,850 --> 01:03:01,190
lt kills the germs
and odors that they cause.
987
01:03:01,270 --> 01:03:02,980
You don't know
what you're doing.
988
01:03:03,070 --> 01:03:04,320
You're bored
out of your mind.
989
01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:06,400
You need a little
adult supervision.
990
01:03:07,990 --> 01:03:09,030
Excuse me?
991
01:03:23,210 --> 01:03:24,170
(SOOTHlNG MUSlC PLAYlNG)
992
01:03:24,250 --> 01:03:25,250
Come on.
993
01:03:25,380 --> 01:03:27,720
Come on.
l don't want to dance.
Come on.
994
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:31,010
l don't feel like. . .
l'm not a dancer.
This is ridiculous.
995
01:03:31,090 --> 01:03:33,100
l'm not gonna leave
unless you do.
996
01:03:33,850 --> 01:03:35,760
Okay, l'll dance.
One dance, though.
That's it.
997
01:03:35,850 --> 01:03:38,640
'Cause l really have to
take a nap and. . .
998
01:03:38,730 --> 01:03:41,270
All right. One dance.
That's it.
999
01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:44,150
(DOORBELL RlNGlNG)
1000
01:03:47,110 --> 01:03:48,240
Whoa!
1001
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:52,910
What's this?
1002
01:03:54,450 --> 01:03:56,450
Oh ! Come on !
The dog is watching.
1003
01:03:56,830 --> 01:03:58,080
Come on.
1004
01:03:58,460 --> 01:04:00,660
What's that? Dirty Dancing?
Uh-huh.
1005
01:04:02,420 --> 01:04:03,920
You got the girl
by the neck.
1006
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:05,420
Whoa. Dipped her.
1007
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:07,130
Remember that?
1008
01:04:07,260 --> 01:04:08,880
Dips. Dips.
1009
01:04:18,730 --> 01:04:19,930
Am l bleeding?
1010
01:04:20,230 --> 01:04:21,440
No.
1011
01:04:22,350 --> 01:04:24,480
Will you get off?
My back!
1012
01:04:30,740 --> 01:04:31,900
Hello.
1013
01:04:35,910 --> 01:04:36,950
Stop it.
1014
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:38,370
l mean it.
1015
01:04:41,460 --> 01:04:43,330
This is fun though,
isn't it?
1016
01:04:43,420 --> 01:04:44,750
l guess.
1017
01:04:45,670 --> 01:04:47,710
My aerobic
workout today.
1018
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:50,300
Heart's beating
like a rabbit here.
1019
01:04:52,630 --> 01:04:53,630
Oh.
1020
01:05:00,140 --> 01:05:01,270
Yeah.
1021
01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:14,110
Hi, Chanice.
1022
01:05:14,910 --> 01:05:16,160
Surprise!
1023
01:05:18,540 --> 01:05:19,700
This is, um. . .
1024
01:05:19,790 --> 01:05:21,000
Marcie.
1025
01:05:24,250 --> 01:05:27,500
Yeah. Marcie,
and she lives
across the road.
1026
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:29,250
She came over to. . .
1027
01:05:29,340 --> 01:05:30,840
Shut up, Buck.
1028
01:05:31,130 --> 01:05:32,720
That's a good idea.
1029
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:36,890
ls this who you were
out with last night?
1030
01:05:40,430 --> 01:05:41,520
What?
1031
01:05:42,140 --> 01:05:43,810
l didn't go out last night.
1032
01:05:45,350 --> 01:05:48,440
Hey, look. Honest.
Honest. Honest.
l'm telling the truth.
1033
01:05:48,520 --> 01:05:49,940
You son of a bitch !
1034
01:05:50,030 --> 01:05:54,190
Don't say that, okay. Chanice.
Don't walk away. Chanice!
1035
01:05:54,820 --> 01:05:55,860
Chanice!
1036
01:05:55,950 --> 01:05:57,110
Hey, come here!
1037
01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:59,070
Chanice!
Come here, hon.
1038
01:06:02,370 --> 01:06:04,160
Chanice, wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
Let me explain !
1039
01:06:04,250 --> 01:06:05,250
Will you let me explain?
1040
01:06:07,540 --> 01:06:09,210
You're wrecking the driveway!
1041
01:06:09,710 --> 01:06:11,090
Chanice!
1042
01:06:12,130 --> 01:06:13,380
Come on !
1043
01:06:15,050 --> 01:06:16,430
l love you.
1044
01:06:33,740 --> 01:06:35,570
What flew up her nose?
1045
01:06:42,410 --> 01:06:45,750
You better go home,
okay, Marcie?
1046
01:06:46,370 --> 01:06:48,580
Pick up your records.
The party's over.
1047
01:06:49,580 --> 01:06:50,670
Okay?
1048
01:06:58,890 --> 01:07:02,600
So, l'll just go home
and wait for
the Federal Express man.
1049
01:07:12,020 --> 01:07:13,940
Good night, Uncle Buck.
1050
01:07:14,940 --> 01:07:16,400
Good night, sweetheart.
1051
01:07:17,820 --> 01:07:19,200
Good night.
1052
01:07:26,790 --> 01:07:28,120
Uncle Buck?
Yeah?
1053
01:07:29,290 --> 01:07:30,710
Got a minute?
1054
01:07:30,790 --> 01:07:31,830
l got lots of minutes.
1055
01:07:33,250 --> 01:07:35,670
Now that everything's
okay with my grandfather,
1056
01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:36,960
l want to go out
tomorrow night.
1057
01:07:37,170 --> 01:07:40,470
You can go crazy after
l leave. Until then,
l'm not letting you out.
1058
01:07:47,270 --> 01:07:50,310
You just can't find
any way to be cool,
can you?
1059
01:07:50,440 --> 01:07:51,690
You mean easy? No.
1060
01:07:51,810 --> 01:07:52,900
l mean decent.
1061
01:07:52,980 --> 01:07:54,150
You mean blind.
1062
01:07:54,650 --> 01:07:57,860
Who are you trying to
score points with,
my parents?
1063
01:07:58,610 --> 01:08:00,740
How many times
have they had you here
since we moved?
1064
01:08:01,490 --> 01:08:03,990
Try none until they
went up shit creek
and got stuck.
1065
01:08:04,450 --> 01:08:06,740
Get used on
your parents' time.
1066
01:08:07,830 --> 01:08:09,040
Hey, Buck!
1067
01:08:09,120 --> 01:08:10,210
Yeah.
1068
01:08:11,580 --> 01:08:13,290
Have a bad day today?
1069
01:08:16,210 --> 01:08:19,170
lt hurts when someone
screws with your life,
doesn't it?
1070
01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:38,860
Last call.
1071
01:08:43,950 --> 01:08:45,780
There you go.
There you go.
1072
01:08:49,040 --> 01:08:50,870
A little for you,
a little for me.
1073
01:08:56,710 --> 01:09:02,220
Boy, people used to
say to me,
1074
01:09:02,300 --> 01:09:05,640
"Boy, Buck,
you are one lucky
son of a bitch.
1075
01:09:07,850 --> 01:09:10,520
"You got it made, Buck.
You got it made."
1076
01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:11,730
And l did.
1077
01:09:12,440 --> 01:09:14,770
They'd say,
"Oh, man, Buck,
look at you.
1078
01:09:14,850 --> 01:09:17,150
"You don't have any kids,
you don't have any wife.
1079
01:09:17,230 --> 01:09:20,650
"You don't have a desk,
you don't have an office.
1080
01:09:20,740 --> 01:09:23,900
"You don't have a boss
to worry about."
1081
01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:28,910
They were right.
1082
01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:30,740
l had it made.
1083
01:09:36,250 --> 01:09:42,050
Only thing now is, Perce,
nobody says that anymore.
1084
01:09:47,680 --> 01:09:49,260
Oh, boy.
1085
01:09:50,100 --> 01:09:51,270
But
1086
01:09:52,270 --> 01:09:54,100
it'll all be
better tomorrow.
1087
01:09:56,860 --> 01:09:58,190
Always is.
1088
01:10:01,110 --> 01:10:02,990
Because tomorrow,
1089
01:10:03,110 --> 01:10:04,860
we go to the track,
1090
01:10:05,110 --> 01:10:08,950
win some dough,
some serious dough.
1091
01:10:10,330 --> 01:10:11,450
Yeah.
1092
01:10:12,950 --> 01:10:14,960
Make a lot of money
tomorrow, kiddo.
1093
01:10:16,290 --> 01:10:18,210
You want a little pretzel
with your beer?
1094
01:10:24,380 --> 01:10:26,590
U. B. went to school
to pick you up, you know.
1095
01:10:26,680 --> 01:10:29,640
Tell U. B. when he gets home
that he lost, okay?
1096
01:10:29,720 --> 01:10:31,050
Lost what?
1097
01:10:31,470 --> 01:10:33,470
Just tell him.
He'll know what it means.
1098
01:10:33,930 --> 01:10:35,390
l'll see you guys Sunday.
1099
01:10:35,480 --> 01:10:36,810
What day is today?
1100
01:10:36,900 --> 01:10:38,100
Friday.
1101
01:10:38,310 --> 01:10:39,560
You know what that means.
1102
01:10:39,650 --> 01:10:40,810
Jumbo party.
1103
01:10:41,020 --> 01:10:43,780
You can put that
on a platter.
1104
01:11:41,380 --> 01:11:42,500
(CAR BACKFlRES)
1105
01:11:44,750 --> 01:11:46,130
U. B. is home.
1106
01:11:46,210 --> 01:11:48,130
BUCK: Tia! Tia!
1107
01:11:49,220 --> 01:11:50,470
You guys seen Tia?
1108
01:11:50,550 --> 01:11:51,840
She took a breeze, U. B.
1109
01:11:55,810 --> 01:11:59,140
And she promised me
she was going to look after
you guys this evening.
1110
01:11:59,230 --> 01:12:00,230
She promised me.
1111
01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:02,600
So much for promises.
1112
01:12:02,810 --> 01:12:05,270
Does anyone in this house
know how to keep a promise?
1113
01:12:05,570 --> 01:12:07,990
l know you two guys do.
l know.
1114
01:12:08,190 --> 01:12:11,030
l had somewhere important
to go to tonight.
1115
01:12:11,570 --> 01:12:13,320
This is how
l make my living.
1116
01:12:13,410 --> 01:12:15,280
This was very
important to me.
1117
01:12:15,370 --> 01:12:17,450
This was. . . My whole year
was based on tonight.
1118
01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:20,620
lt may be peanuts
to your dad
but it's my living.
1119
01:12:21,710 --> 01:12:24,750
l have no choice,
l don't care what your
parents are going to say.
1120
01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:26,750
l have to take you
with me tonight.
1121
01:12:27,130 --> 01:12:28,300
Where?
1122
01:12:28,590 --> 01:12:30,090
To a racetrack.
1123
01:12:33,220 --> 01:12:34,430
BUCK: Here we go.
1124
01:12:34,510 --> 01:12:35,850
You have to go
to the bathroom?
1125
01:12:35,930 --> 01:12:37,010
BOTH: Nope.
You sure?
1126
01:12:37,310 --> 01:12:38,310
BOTH: Yep.
1127
01:12:38,390 --> 01:12:40,270
This is going to
be fun, you know.
1128
01:12:40,350 --> 01:12:42,480
Beautiful horses,
interesting people.
1129
01:12:43,100 --> 01:12:45,060
And win some
serious coin, right?
1130
01:12:45,150 --> 01:12:47,980
Well, sometimes, yeah,
but that's not the real
reason people go there.
1131
01:12:48,530 --> 01:12:54,110
People go because of
the beautiful horses
and the colorful jockeys.
1132
01:12:56,120 --> 01:12:57,280
Bug picked up Tia?
1133
01:12:57,370 --> 01:12:58,450
Mmm-hmm.
1134
01:12:58,790 --> 01:13:00,790
And she said
she was going
to a party.
1135
01:13:01,290 --> 01:13:04,500
She said
she'd be back Sunday.
Must be a slumber party.
1136
01:13:07,130 --> 01:13:09,550
Hop in the back.
Get your belts on.
1137
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:13,130
Let her go to
a party all weekend !
1138
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:15,340
She's old enough
to know better.
1139
01:13:15,720 --> 01:13:17,890
Hell, she doesn't listen
to anybody anyway.
1140
01:13:18,970 --> 01:13:20,310
Damn kids.
1141
01:14:02,060 --> 01:14:03,930
(PHONE RlNGlNG)
1142
01:14:04,020 --> 01:14:05,310
Yeah.
Kobolowski Tires.
1143
01:14:06,480 --> 01:14:07,850
Hi. lt's me.
1144
01:14:08,900 --> 01:14:10,730
Buck, can't you ever
take a hint?
1145
01:14:10,940 --> 01:14:14,360
Chanice, it's not about me.
l got a problem at the house.
1146
01:14:14,740 --> 01:14:16,530
I need somebody
to watch the kids.
1147
01:14:16,820 --> 01:14:18,570
No. l'll tell you
what you need.
1148
01:14:18,660 --> 01:14:20,080
Your horse fixer's
in town
1149
01:14:20,160 --> 01:14:21,540
and you need to
get to the track.
1150
01:14:21,620 --> 01:14:23,660
l ran into Rog.
See, he told me
all about it.
1151
01:14:24,210 --> 01:14:26,710
The idiot had the nerve
to ask me for a loan.
1152
01:14:27,080 --> 01:14:28,080
What's the matter?
1153
01:14:28,170 --> 01:14:31,170
You can't take children
with you when you're gonna
cheat on a horserace?
1154
01:14:31,250 --> 01:14:32,840
You got some religion
out there in the 'burbs?
1155
01:14:33,010 --> 01:14:35,550
l came close.
l had them in the car.
1156
01:14:36,380 --> 01:14:38,930
Can we put
personal problems
aside for a second?
1157
01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:41,300
Tia took off on me.
1158
01:14:41,390 --> 01:14:43,640
l was supposed to
pick her up after school.
She wasn't there.
1159
01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:44,890
What do you mean,
she ran away?
1160
01:14:45,940 --> 01:14:47,940
l guess. l don't know.
1161
01:14:48,520 --> 01:14:52,150
She's 1 5, she's angry,
she's confused,
1162
01:14:53,190 --> 01:14:55,070
and I need to find her.
1163
01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:57,900
Can you help me?
1164
01:14:58,990 --> 01:15:01,030
l'm really stuck, Chanice.
1165
01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:06,330
All right. All right.
1166
01:15:07,000 --> 01:15:09,460
l will help you because
there's kids involved
in this.
1167
01:15:09,580 --> 01:15:13,090
But as far as you
and l are concerned,
it is over.
1168
01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:16,010
However it has to be.
1169
01:15:18,260 --> 01:15:20,090
l'll be there.
Thank you.
1170
01:15:20,890 --> 01:15:22,430
For what it's worth,
l'm sorry.
1171
01:15:44,660 --> 01:15:46,490
Your car's on fire.
Car's on fire.
1172
01:15:46,580 --> 01:15:48,710
No, no, no.
lt's just a little oil.
1173
01:15:48,790 --> 01:15:51,670
l'm looking for a party
somewhere around here.
1174
01:15:51,750 --> 01:15:53,540
Oh, that's on
Totowa Lane.
1175
01:15:53,630 --> 01:15:55,090
My niece is there.
1176
01:15:55,170 --> 01:15:56,460
Our son's there.
1177
01:15:56,550 --> 01:15:58,050
Kids.
1178
01:15:58,130 --> 01:15:59,800
l don't think
you ought to go in there
with that hat on.
1179
01:15:59,880 --> 01:16:00,880
They'll kill you.
1180
01:16:00,970 --> 01:16:02,840
Really?
Thanks for the tip.
Yeah.
1181
01:16:40,470 --> 01:16:41,470
(GASPS)
1182
01:16:49,390 --> 01:16:53,100
l'm supposed to come over
and watch you.
1183
01:16:56,520 --> 01:16:57,570
Hi !
1184
01:16:58,360 --> 01:17:00,780
l'm Chanice Kobolowski.
l'm Uncle Buck's friend.
1185
01:17:00,860 --> 01:17:02,570
May l see your
driver's license,
ma'am?
1186
01:17:03,950 --> 01:17:05,070
Yeah.
1187
01:17:05,740 --> 01:17:06,870
Sure.
1188
01:17:07,030 --> 01:17:08,370
Good idea.
1189
01:17:10,830 --> 01:17:12,330
Here! l got it!
1190
01:17:12,870 --> 01:17:14,710
See? Look.
1191
01:17:15,330 --> 01:17:16,420
Look!
1192
01:17:16,590 --> 01:17:18,340
Can you please
take it out of there?
1193
01:17:18,630 --> 01:17:19,840
Take it out?
1194
01:17:43,110 --> 01:17:44,400
You okay?
1195
01:17:45,410 --> 01:17:47,240
Come on.
What's the matter?
1196
01:18:10,430 --> 01:18:11,430
(ALL SCREAM)
1197
01:18:12,640 --> 01:18:15,190
Coming through here.
How you doing?
1198
01:18:16,350 --> 01:18:17,650
Having a good time?
1199
01:18:17,730 --> 01:18:19,650
You seen a guy named
Bug around here?
1200
01:18:21,570 --> 01:18:23,320
l'm Tia Russell's uncle.
1201
01:18:23,400 --> 01:18:24,530
You girls know Tia?
1202
01:18:24,610 --> 01:18:26,490
No? She's kind of new.
1203
01:18:26,570 --> 01:18:27,990
l'm her uncle.
1204
01:18:29,280 --> 01:18:31,580
You haven't seen that Bug
around here, have you?
1205
01:18:31,830 --> 01:18:33,370
No.
No.
1206
01:18:33,790 --> 01:18:35,040
Nice guy.
1207
01:18:35,120 --> 01:18:37,460
Hey! Hey!
Come back here with that!
1208
01:18:43,630 --> 01:18:45,340
How you doing?
1209
01:18:45,420 --> 01:18:47,010
Anybody seen Bug around here?
1210
01:18:48,640 --> 01:18:50,050
Hey, nice music.
1211
01:18:51,180 --> 01:18:52,720
Who's that?
The Grass Roots?
1212
01:18:53,140 --> 01:18:54,470
l'm kidding.
l know my music.
1213
01:19:00,900 --> 01:19:03,150
Stop it, please.
1214
01:19:06,110 --> 01:19:08,150
What the hell is that?
1215
01:19:08,950 --> 01:19:11,910
Hey, party time!
Let's get down here, huh?
1216
01:19:11,990 --> 01:19:13,990
You seen Bug around here?
1217
01:19:14,080 --> 01:19:15,660
You seen Bug?
1218
01:19:16,500 --> 01:19:18,080
That's good stuff.
1219
01:19:19,130 --> 01:19:20,670
Keep it up. Keep it up.
1220
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:22,380
Nice work.
1221
01:19:22,920 --> 01:19:24,670
Hey, how you doing?
1222
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:26,090
Excuse me.
1223
01:19:26,340 --> 01:19:27,840
Crowded, huh?
1224
01:19:28,840 --> 01:19:31,340
Get down, get down, get down.
1225
01:19:31,640 --> 01:19:33,220
l don't want to do this.
1226
01:19:33,970 --> 01:19:35,770
Just relax.
1227
01:19:38,270 --> 01:19:39,640
Hello, young fellow.
How are you?
1228
01:19:39,730 --> 01:19:41,770
l'm Tia Russell's uncle,
Buck Russell.
1229
01:19:41,860 --> 01:19:43,690
Have you seen
the bug around?
1230
01:19:43,770 --> 01:19:45,730
No? l'm looking for him.
1231
01:19:45,820 --> 01:19:47,400
You're Tia Russell's uncle?
1232
01:19:47,490 --> 01:19:48,740
Really?
1233
01:19:48,820 --> 01:19:51,280
Hey! Give me that!
1234
01:19:51,370 --> 01:19:53,450
Take my hat, you punk!
1235
01:19:54,030 --> 01:19:55,080
Don't mention it.
1236
01:19:55,160 --> 01:19:56,240
All right, pop.
1237
01:19:58,750 --> 01:20:00,170
Have you seen a guy named Bug?
1238
01:20:00,250 --> 01:20:02,380
Everybody knows Bug.
Hip, hip guy.
1239
01:20:03,290 --> 01:20:04,500
Let me through here,
will you?
1240
01:20:04,590 --> 01:20:06,380
Your mother know
you do that?
1241
01:20:07,420 --> 01:20:08,420
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)
1242
01:20:10,430 --> 01:20:12,260
Hey, this room's taken.
1243
01:20:13,050 --> 01:20:14,390
l want to go.
1244
01:20:14,470 --> 01:20:15,640
No, you don't.
1245
01:20:15,720 --> 01:20:16,720
(DOOR RATTLlNG)
1246
01:20:18,430 --> 01:20:21,600
That door opens,
l'm going to kick
somebody's ass!
1247
01:20:23,060 --> 01:20:24,150
Do you hear me?
1248
01:22:16,550 --> 01:22:17,640
Tia.
1249
01:22:36,570 --> 01:22:38,160
You were right.
1250
01:22:39,910 --> 01:22:42,700
Everything you said
would happen happened.
1251
01:22:44,540 --> 01:22:45,750
l don't want
to talk about it.
1252
01:22:45,830 --> 01:22:47,290
l just want
to get you home.
1253
01:23:22,660 --> 01:23:24,240
ls this a trick?
1254
01:23:29,460 --> 01:23:30,500
No.
1255
01:23:34,420 --> 01:23:36,340
You know what happened?
1256
01:23:39,050 --> 01:23:40,180
Yeah.
1257
01:23:43,850 --> 01:23:46,770
Are you going to tell
my parents about everything
that's been going on?
1258
01:23:49,600 --> 01:23:50,600
No.
1259
01:23:53,360 --> 01:23:54,440
Thanks.
1260
01:23:58,860 --> 01:24:01,990
l've been riding
your butt all week about
how you live your life.
1261
01:24:05,450 --> 01:24:08,450
l realize maybe somebody
should have been riding mine.
1262
01:24:09,080 --> 01:24:12,710
l'm probably the last guy
in the world you'd want
to help,
1263
01:24:15,250 --> 01:24:18,550
but l really could use your
advice, vis-a-vis Chanice.
1264
01:24:19,470 --> 01:24:26,140
l've been
stringing her along
for about eight years now.
1265
01:24:27,310 --> 01:24:30,140
Maybe you could figure out
what the hell is wrong
with me.
1266
01:24:31,060 --> 01:24:33,520
l did such a great job
earning your trust
and admiration,
1267
01:24:33,610 --> 01:24:36,770
l'm confused why l can't
do the same with Chanice.
1268
01:24:46,240 --> 01:24:48,080
You know there's
1269
01:24:50,710 --> 01:24:56,460
one family charity case
that loves you very much.
1270
01:24:59,300 --> 01:25:00,630
l'm sorry.
1271
01:25:01,340 --> 01:25:02,840
Hey, come on.
1272
01:25:04,050 --> 01:25:05,850
Nothing to be sorry about.
1273
01:25:06,970 --> 01:25:10,560
l'm just kind of glad
l got a chance to know
you again.
1274
01:25:15,690 --> 01:25:17,520
Did you do anything to Bug?
1275
01:25:24,490 --> 01:25:28,990
Oh, my God !
What did you do?
1276
01:25:40,300 --> 01:25:41,800
You shithead !
1277
01:25:41,880 --> 01:25:43,470
l could have suffocated here!
1278
01:25:43,550 --> 01:25:46,050
Um, do you know what
l'd like you to do?
1279
01:25:46,140 --> 01:25:47,850
Actually, you could be
doing both of us a favor.
1280
01:25:47,930 --> 01:25:50,180
l'd like you to apologize
to the lady, please.
1281
01:25:50,850 --> 01:25:54,440
l'm sorry!
1282
01:25:54,520 --> 01:25:56,190
Okay, asshole?
1283
01:25:56,270 --> 01:25:57,980
l'm sorry!
1284
01:25:58,070 --> 01:26:01,440
l don't know if
l told you this or not,
but l'm an amateur dentist?
1285
01:26:02,900 --> 01:26:04,200
Oh, yes. He is.
1286
01:26:07,070 --> 01:26:08,740
(LAUGHlNG EVlLLY)
1287
01:26:13,210 --> 01:26:14,540
l'm sorry.
1288
01:26:15,420 --> 01:26:16,670
Get him out of there.
1289
01:26:16,750 --> 01:26:17,830
Yeah?
1290
01:26:18,210 --> 01:26:19,840
lt was halfhearted.
We'll let him.
Come on, here we go.
1291
01:26:19,920 --> 01:26:20,920
l'm really sorry.
1292
01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:23,130
l'm sure you are.
l'm sure you are.
1293
01:26:23,220 --> 01:26:25,510
Let me just get you. . .
1294
01:26:25,800 --> 01:26:28,760
l didn't mean
to hurt anybody.
1295
01:26:28,850 --> 01:26:29,970
There you go.
There you go.
1296
01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:33,020
Oh, l'm sorry.
1297
01:26:40,190 --> 01:26:41,190
Shall we?
1298
01:26:41,280 --> 01:26:42,400
Yeah.
1299
01:26:48,950 --> 01:26:52,080
Yeah?
Well, come on back,
and l'll kick your ass, man !
1300
01:26:52,160 --> 01:26:54,330
Chicken shit! You're dead !
1301
01:26:55,710 --> 01:26:56,830
Shit.
1302
01:27:03,130 --> 01:27:05,460
l'm gonna sue
your balls off, man !
1303
01:27:06,380 --> 01:27:08,550
Why don't you come again?
1304
01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:10,010
Come on !
1305
01:27:10,550 --> 01:27:12,010
Come on, man !
1306
01:27:12,100 --> 01:27:15,140
l'm going to sue you
and l'm going to sue
your whole family!
1307
01:27:15,640 --> 01:27:18,350
Okay, pal.
Time for a golf lesson.
1308
01:27:18,980 --> 01:27:21,020
My dad's a lawyer, msn !
You're history!
1309
01:27:21,610 --> 01:27:23,480
A little fine wood.
1310
01:27:24,820 --> 01:27:27,030
Hey. What?
1311
01:27:27,740 --> 01:27:29,410
What? What are you doing, man?
1312
01:27:30,700 --> 01:27:31,990
Shit.
1313
01:27:32,780 --> 01:27:34,080
You're history, man !
You're wasted !
1314
01:27:34,160 --> 01:27:36,080
l'm gonna sue you
for everything
you've got, man !
1315
01:27:36,620 --> 01:27:38,870
You're gonna be broke!
So come on, come and get me!
1316
01:27:40,790 --> 01:27:42,880
You bastard ! Aah !
1317
01:27:43,420 --> 01:27:44,710
Yes, sir!
1318
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:46,920
You son of a bitch !
1319
01:27:47,010 --> 01:27:48,130
That hurt!
1320
01:27:48,300 --> 01:27:51,010
Hey, hey, hey.
l'm not sorry,
all right?
1321
01:27:52,300 --> 01:27:54,640
l ain't sorry for shit!
1322
01:27:57,730 --> 01:28:00,100
What do you see
in that guy anyway?
1323
01:28:00,900 --> 01:28:03,360
l can't for the life of me
figure that one out.
1324
01:28:04,020 --> 01:28:07,110
Don't answer.
Don't answer.
You don't have to.
1325
01:28:10,200 --> 01:28:13,200
l appreciate
the confession, Tia.
Thank you. Thanks a lot.
1326
01:28:13,330 --> 01:28:14,740
But my problems
with Buck
1327
01:28:14,830 --> 01:28:18,040
go a whole lot deeper
than a misunderstanding
with a neighborlady.
1328
01:28:18,660 --> 01:28:20,790
Don't you think
he loves you?
1329
01:28:22,210 --> 01:28:24,130
lf he does,
he'd never say it.
1330
01:28:25,000 --> 01:28:26,050
What if he did?
1331
01:28:26,130 --> 01:28:28,380
Then l would suspect
he needed a new set of tires.
1332
01:28:29,760 --> 01:28:32,550
Seriously.
1333
01:28:32,970 --> 01:28:35,510
You're very sweet
to talk about this
1334
01:28:35,970 --> 01:28:38,060
but l don't think
you understand
the bigger picture.
1335
01:28:38,390 --> 01:28:41,850
See, Buck's a charming man
who wants to remain
a boy forever.
1336
01:28:42,350 --> 01:28:43,350
Boy?
1337
01:28:43,690 --> 01:28:46,730
And at my age,
that doesn't make for
a lasting relationship.
1338
01:28:49,740 --> 01:28:52,110
l think he'd make
a wonderful husband
and father.
1339
01:28:52,700 --> 01:28:54,570
You do?
Oh, yeah.
1340
01:28:55,080 --> 01:28:57,030
My sister and brother
adore him.
1341
01:28:58,290 --> 01:29:02,290
He really
has changed since
he's been here this week.
1342
01:29:03,250 --> 01:29:05,080
He really has changed.
1343
01:29:05,460 --> 01:29:07,090
He's responsible
1344
01:29:07,880 --> 01:29:09,710
and caring and loving
1345
01:29:11,010 --> 01:29:13,590
and enthusiastic. . .
1346
01:29:14,850 --> 01:29:15,850
Energetic.
1347
01:29:16,180 --> 01:29:17,970
And energetic and
1348
01:29:19,100 --> 01:29:20,600
decent
1349
01:29:20,770 --> 01:29:21,770
(MUFFLED COUGH)
1350
01:29:21,940 --> 01:29:23,270
and kind
1351
01:29:23,400 --> 01:29:24,730
(COUGHlNG CONTlNUES)
1352
01:29:26,360 --> 01:29:27,650
and humble
1353
01:29:27,770 --> 01:29:29,780
and honest and forthright.
1354
01:29:30,570 --> 01:29:31,610
Sense of humor.
1355
01:29:31,700 --> 01:29:33,780
And he's really got
a great sense of humor.
1356
01:29:34,240 --> 01:29:36,280
Did he by any chance
put you up to this?
1357
01:29:36,870 --> 01:29:39,950
No! Oh, no.
Mmm-mmm.
1358
01:29:40,290 --> 01:29:42,830
No, l've just gathered this
from my own observations.
1359
01:29:43,540 --> 01:29:44,670
No?
1360
01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:46,330
lt's just the way he is.
1361
01:29:46,420 --> 01:29:47,630
Really?
1362
01:29:48,960 --> 01:29:49,960
Um !
1363
01:29:51,840 --> 01:29:53,130
(CLEARlNG THROAT)
1364
01:29:54,470 --> 01:29:55,470
Really?
1365
01:29:56,970 --> 01:29:58,050
Oh, yeah !
1366
01:29:58,140 --> 01:29:59,260
So unlike him.
1367
01:30:08,070 --> 01:30:09,070
Ow!
1368
01:30:15,530 --> 01:30:17,070
Check this out.
1369
01:30:23,120 --> 01:30:24,500
Hi, honey!
1370
01:30:25,210 --> 01:30:27,000
ls the coffee ready?
1371
01:30:27,960 --> 01:30:29,590
A little thirsty.
1372
01:30:30,170 --> 01:30:33,300
By the way, l have
told you l loved you,
1373
01:30:34,130 --> 01:30:36,630
and it wasn't for tires,
sweetheart.
1374
01:30:37,010 --> 01:30:38,430
lt was for shocks, remember?
1375
01:30:44,100 --> 01:30:46,270
Oh, are they sweethearts,
or what?
1376
01:30:46,350 --> 01:30:48,270
This one's
smart as a whip.
1377
01:30:48,520 --> 01:30:50,230
l'm going to miss
them like crazy.
1378
01:30:50,320 --> 01:30:52,690
They're beautiful children.
What happened to you?
1379
01:30:53,240 --> 01:30:55,740
Recessive gene,
skips every
nine generations.
1380
01:30:55,820 --> 01:30:56,950
l got it this time.
1381
01:30:57,030 --> 01:30:58,240
Mmm-hmm.
Tragic.
1382
01:30:58,450 --> 01:31:00,320
lt isn't so bad, is it?
1383
01:31:01,080 --> 01:31:02,160
What?
1384
01:31:02,240 --> 01:31:03,620
The house, the family,
the kids.
1385
01:31:03,700 --> 01:31:05,660
Oh, yeah.
No, it's great.
1386
01:31:05,750 --> 01:31:06,750
This is great.
1387
01:31:07,620 --> 01:31:09,790
We should have done this
a long time ago,
1388
01:31:09,880 --> 01:31:11,840
something like this,
you know, you and l.
1389
01:31:15,880 --> 01:31:18,050
(BOTH SCREAMlNG)
1390
01:31:26,560 --> 01:31:28,310
They're here!
1391
01:31:33,610 --> 01:31:35,280
What are we doing?
1392
01:31:36,610 --> 01:31:39,910
Well, your mother,
you see, and your sister
1393
01:31:40,120 --> 01:31:42,910
have to
sort some things out.
1394
01:31:43,030 --> 01:31:44,290
They have to
sort some things out.
1395
01:31:44,370 --> 01:31:46,540
So we're going to be
very quiet for them.
1396
01:31:46,620 --> 01:31:49,170
So why don't we
put a button on it
like this
1397
01:31:53,170 --> 01:31:56,420
and a zipper, like that,
and a lock.
1398
01:31:58,430 --> 01:32:00,930
l can't talk at all.
l throw the key away.
1399
01:32:55,150 --> 01:32:56,860
lt's going to be
real different.
1400
01:32:58,280 --> 01:32:59,690
l promise.
1401
01:33:00,490 --> 01:33:01,820
l love you.
1402
01:33:14,710 --> 01:33:15,830
Shit!
1403
01:33:15,960 --> 01:33:17,210
MAlZY: Bye!
1404
01:33:17,300 --> 01:33:18,880
MlLES: Bye, Uncle Buck!
1405
01:33:19,420 --> 01:33:22,300
Well, could l get
out the door, please?
1406
01:33:22,380 --> 01:33:23,510
l'm going !
1407
01:33:23,590 --> 01:33:25,090
Well, this is heavy.
1408
01:33:25,180 --> 01:33:26,260
Bye!
1409
01:33:26,680 --> 01:33:28,680
Thanks again, Buck.
1410
01:33:28,810 --> 01:33:32,020
Next time you're downtown,
maybe we can go out for
a coffee.
1411
01:33:34,690 --> 01:33:35,730
Okay.
1412
01:33:37,070 --> 01:33:39,860
We really had a good time.
l know it's kind of
ridiculous.
1413
01:33:40,030 --> 01:33:41,280
We did leave the house
a little messy.
1414
01:33:41,360 --> 01:33:43,070
We did try our best.
You know, we're not
so good at. . .
1415
01:33:43,150 --> 01:33:44,780
Chanice.
What?
1416
01:33:44,860 --> 01:33:46,280
We're going home,
we're not dying.
1417
01:33:46,700 --> 01:33:48,240
l'm saying good-bye,
is that all right?
1418
01:33:48,410 --> 01:33:49,790
All right.
Nice guy, is he?
1419
01:33:49,870 --> 01:33:51,410
Tell the neighbors
we're really sorry
1420
01:33:51,500 --> 01:33:53,830
about having that thing
parked in the driveway
all week.
1421
01:33:53,920 --> 01:33:56,250
He's getting
a new company car
on Monday.
1422
01:33:56,330 --> 01:33:59,130
The hell l am !
The beast is good for
another 1 00,000 miles.
1423
01:33:59,210 --> 01:34:00,630
Yeah, well,
it's too bad
that you're not.
1424
01:34:00,710 --> 01:34:02,050
That's funny, Chanice.
That's good.
1425
01:34:02,300 --> 01:34:03,300
See what l put up with?
1426
01:34:03,380 --> 01:34:06,340
Don't drive fast.
l'm not fixing anymore
tickets for you.
1427
01:39:28,540 --> 01:39:30,130
BUCK: Wake up!
1428
01:39:30,210 --> 01:39:31,790
(AlR HORN BLOWlNG)
1429
01:39:33,380 --> 01:39:34,800
(BUCK LAUGHlNG)
99914
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
