All language subtitles for Spinning.Boris.2003.PROPER.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG_English

[ breathing heavily ]

HELLO. UH, CAN I MAKE
A CALL, IF I MAY?

ZVONOK. ZVONOK?

TO THE UNITED STATES.

AMERICA?

NYET.UH, LINES? NYET.
NO CALLS.

I WAS THINKING, UM...

POSSIBLY, IF THERE'S
ANY-- ANY WAY TO--

TO HOOK THAT UP?

[ speaks Russian ]

HOW DO YOU DO. YOU'VE REACHED THE OFFICE

OF GEORGE GORTON IN SACRAMENTO. TELL ME EVERYTHING. [ beep ]

HI. UH, THIS IS ME.

GEORGE GORTON. UH...

I'M HERE
IN MOSCOW, RUSSIA.

IT'S JUNE 16th, 1996,

ABOUT 4:00 P.M. MY TIME.

THE REASON
I'M CALLING IS, UH,

I MAY BE KILLED TODAY,
OR DISAPPEAR,

IN WHICH CASE
I WANT THE POLICE
TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

[ phones ringing ]OKAY, LADIES, WE START
WHERE WE ALWAYS START.

SIX BULLET POINTS
FOR WILSON'S SPEECH.

WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR
IS A MAGIC NUMBER,

ONE TINY POSITIVE DIGIT
THAT WE CAN SPIN IN OUR FAVOR

TO MAKE THIS FUNERAL LOOK
LIKE A BIRTHDAY PARTY.

TRUST ME, IT'S GONNA TAKE

A LITTLE BIT
OF CREATIVE ANALYSIS

BUT, IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS
OF GEORGE HERBERT BUSH,

NOBODY SAID IT WAS
GONNA BE EASY...

Men: ...AND NOBODY
WAS RIGHT.

VERY GOOD.

WE DON'T WANT
THE GODDAMN POLL TOMORROW.

WE WANT IT YESTERDAY,
WHICH MEANS WE BETTER
GET IT TODAY,

OR I'M GONNA FLY UP THERE
AND I'M GONNA RIP OUT
YOUR GODDAMN WINDPIPE.

DICK.LISTEN. DUANE.

DUANE. DUANE. I KNOW
IT'S A MOCK ELECTION.

I DON'T CARE.
WE'RE GONNA WIN, PLACE,
OR AT LEAST SHOW, OKAY?

WH-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU
DON'T HAVE ANY VOTERS?

ROUND UP SOME HICKS
IN NEBRASKA,

BUS 'EM TO IOWA, AND PAY
'EM TO VOTE FOR WILSON!

THEY'RE PIG FARMERS.

IT DOESN'T HAVE
TO BE KOSHER.

[ chuckles ]

OH, MY GOSH,
LOOK WHO IT IS!

MY, MY, MY!
TO WHAT DO I OWE?

WE MUST BE DOING
SOMETHIN' RIGHT, EH?

I DON'T THINK SO,
GEORGE.

YOUR GUY'S GOT NO VOTES,

NO FUNDS,
AND ZERO PARTY SUPPORT.

OFF THE RECORD, YOU REALLY
THINK YOU CAN TURN IT AROUND?

OFF THE RECORD?MM.

OKAY, HERE'S
HOW WE DO IT.

UM, PAY ATTENTION NOW.
SECRETS OF THE TRADE.

UH, PUT YOUR RIGHT HAND IN,
PUT YOUR RIGHT HAND OUT.

PUT YOUR RIGHT HAND IN,
SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT!

THE NEXT PART'S CRUCIAL.

DO THE HOKEY-POKEY
AND TURN THE THING AROUND.

NO, THAT'S WHAT
IT'S ALL ABOUT.

WE'RE GONNA TURN
IT AROUND.

WE'RE GONNA TURN
IT AROUND.

YOU'RE NEVER OFF
THE RECORD, ARE YOU?

LIKE YOU ARE.[ phone ringing ]

UM... HEY, DINNER
TONIGHT AT 8:00?

WHY DOES
THAT SOUND GOOD?

W-WE CAN TALK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

[ scoffs ]REALLY. HELLO?

GOVERNOR, YEAH.

YEAH, HANG ON
ONE SECOND.

LET ME GO SOMEPLACE
QUIET. YEAH.

[ whistles ]

RIGHT. NO, OF COURSE,

AS LONG AS IT'S
FOR THE GOOD OF THE CAMPAIGN.

NO.

YEAH, I'M SURE YOU'RE MAKING
THE RIGHT DECISION.

[ beep ]

[ clunk ]

LET ME GUESS.
GOOD NEWS.

HE WANTS ME TO BEND OVER
TO FULLER.

[ sighs ]

"I FEEL I HAVE
AN ACTUAL PRESENCE, GEORGE.

FULLER'S IN A BETTER POSITION
FOR IT THAN YOU ARE."

BETTER POSITION? YOU'VE GIVEN
HIM 20 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE.

I MEAN, HE'D BE
GOVERNOR BUMFUCK WITHOUT YOU.

THIS IS
MY EARLY CHRISTMAS BONUS.

DOESN'T TRUST ME TO RUN
A PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN.

LOOK, GEORGE,
WE'RE A TEAM.

YOU GO, WE GO.

NO, YOU GUYS STAY HERE.

A PAYCHECK'S A PAYCHECK.

AND, YOU KNOW,
IT'S A TITANICANYWAY.

WILSON DOESN'T STAND
A RAT'S CHANCE.

WE ALL KNOW IT'S ONLY
A COUPLE MORE WEEKS.

YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE
UNEMPLOYED, TOO.

Clinton: OUR SIXTH CHALLENGE
IS TO MAINTAIN

AMERICA'S LEADERSHIP
IN THE FIGHT FOR FREEDOM

AND PEACE
THROUGHOUT THE WORLD.

"BECAUSE OF
AMERICAN LEADERSHIP,

MORE PEOPLE
THAN EVER BEFORE

WILL LIVE FREE
AND AT PEACE."

...FREE AND AT PEACE.
AND AMERICANS...

HONEY, THAT'S AMAZING.

NO, IT'S NOT.
DICK MORRIS WROTE
THAT DAMN SPEECH.

I KNOW DICK'S VOICE
BETTER THAN I KNOW
MY OWN.

YOU'RE SOUNDING JEALOUS.

WHY, JUST BECAUSE
HE'S WHISPERING
INTO THE PRESIDENT'S EAR

WHILE I'M SITTING
ON MY HANDS DURING
A MAJOR ELECTION YEAR?

A CONSULTANT
WITHOUT A CAMPAIGN.

EH? THERE IT IS.

[ phone ringing ]

JOE SHUMATE.

MR. SHUMATE.
BIG PLEASURE.

MY NAME IS FELIX BRAYNIN.

I'M A RUSSIAN-AMERICAN
BUSINESSMAN,

AND I LIVE IN SAUSALITO.

MY REFERENCES
ARE GOOD AND LONG.

I FAX AS WE SPEAK.[ fax ringing ]

YOU DON'T SOUND LIKE
YOU'RE CALLING FROM
SAUSALITO, MR. BRAYNIN.

UH, FELIX. FELIX.
FELIX, PLEASE.

NO, YOU'RE CORRECT.
I'M IN MOSCOW,

AND I'M CALLING TO
PROPOSITION YOU, MR. SHUMATE.

[ chuckles ] OH, REALLY?
WELL, I'M VERY FLATTERED, BUT...

PLEASE.
PLEASE READ THE FAX,

THEN GIVE ME A BUZZ.

UH, SAYS HERE
YOU WANT TO HIRE

MY PARTNERS AND ME
FOR A CAMPAIGN.

NOT QUITE.
IT SAYSTHE CAMPAIGN.

YEP! YEP, IT SURE DOES,

BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM TO MENTION
HERE WHO THE CANDIDATE IS.

NO, THAT'S CORRECT.
IT'S NOT SECURE.

NOT SECURE.
[ chuckles ]

WELL, UH, MR. BRAYNIN,

DO YOU EVER INTEND TO TELL US
WHO THE CANDIDATE IS?

YOU'RE A SMART MAN,
MR. SHUMATE.

YOU CAN FIGURE IT
OUT YOURSELF.

OKAY.

WELL, LET'S SEE, THE RUSSIAN
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

IS IN FIVE MONTHS, AND THE--

UH, WHEN-- WHEN--

WHEN YOU SAY THECAMPAIGN,
YOU DON'T MEAN THE--

NO! NO NAMES. NOT NOW.

BUT, YES, YOUR ASSUMPTION
IS CORRECT.

[ phone ringing ]

[ beep ]

♪ HEAVEN
[ chuckles ]

GEORGE, IT'S JOE. WE HAVE TO TALK.

JOE? WELL,
YOU SOUND TENSE.

MAN, YOU GOTTA FIND
YOUR EQUILIBRIUM LIKE I DID.

GET RID OF HER.

I GOT A GUY ON THE LINE
WHO WANTS US FOR A GIG.

UH, WRONG NUMBER, JOE.

I'M NOW A FULL-TIME
SPIRITUAL REJUVENATOR.

THE GIG'S IN RUSSIA,
AND I THINK IT'S FOR YELTSIN.

YOUTHINK IT'S FOR YELTSIN?

WHAT'S THE CLIENT THINK? NO, HE DIDN'T SAY.

HE WOULDN'T SAY.
NOT ON THE TELEPHONE.

LOOK, JUST LET ME GET HIM
ON THE PHONE, OKAY?

YOU CAN JUDGE FOR YOURSELF.
HANG ON ONE SECOND.

MR. BRAYNIN, YOU ARE NOW ON
WITH MY PARTNER,

GEORGE GORTON, AND MYSELF.

AH, MR. GORTON. BIG PLEASURE.
NAME IS FELIX BRAYNIN.

I AM A RUSSIAN-AMERICAN
BUSINESSMAN.

Joe: HIS REFERENCES
ARE "GOOD AND LONG," GEORGE.

CONGRATULATIONS, MR. BRAYNIN.

OH, YOU'LL MAKE AMERICA PROUD,
I'M SURE.

AH! NOW, WHOSE CAMPAIGN
DO YOU WANT US TO WORK ON?

NO, MR. GORTON,
I CAN'T POSSIBLY DIVULGE

ANY MORE INFORMATION
AT THIS TIME.

OKAY, THANKS FOR YOUR INTEREST.

LET US SEND YOU
SOME LITERATURE ON WHAT WE DO,

AND THEN YOU CAN
MAKE AN INFORMED CHOICE.

NO, NO, NO. WAIT.
WE KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU.

YOU ARE HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

OKAY, UH, MR. BRAYNIN,
CAN I JUST PUT YOU ON HOLD
FOR ONE MORE SECOND?

JUST ONE MORE SECOND.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH YOU.
HANG ON THERE.

GEORGE, I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

THAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO GO FUCK YOURSELF?

NO. NOW, LISTEN, GEORGE.

OKAY, [ chuckles ]
HE IS PROBABLY NUTS.

THAT WOULD MAKE
A LOT OF SENSE THAT HE'S NUTS,

BUT DID YOU EVER THINK
FOR A SECOND,

JUST ONE SECOND, GEORGE,
THAT HE MAY BE FOR REAL?

I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
WHAT IF THIS IS YELTSIN?

IF-- IF

MY GRANDMOTHER HAD BALLS,
SHE'D BE MY GRANDFATHER!

GEORGE, I NEED YOU
TO CONCENTRATE, OKAY?

GEORGE, LISTEN TO ME.

THIS IS THE FIRST FREE ELECTION
IN RUSSIA EVER,OKAY?

THE EXPECTED VOTER TURNOUT
IS 63%.

GEORGE, THAT IS
90 MILLION PEOPLE.

NO CONSULTANT HAS EVER MOVED
THOSE KINDS OF NUMBERS BEFORE.

NO ONE'S EVER HAD
THAT KIND OF POWER!

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, GEORGE,

THIS COULD BE
THE MOUNT EVEREST OF CONSULTING.

GEORGE?

ERROR.

ARE YOU LISTENING
TO ME?

YEAH, NO,
I'M MULTITASKING.

LET ME JUST GET DICK
ON THE LINE, OKAY?

HE'S GOOD AT CUTTING
THROUGH THE BULLSHIT.

YEAH, HE'S GONNA NEED
A BIG KNIFE.

[ phone ringing ]

HELLO?

UH, DICK? THIS IS, UH, GEORGE AND JOE HERE.

WE HAVE
A JACOB SMIRNOFF ON HOLD.

SAYS HE WANTS US
FOR A, UH, A GIG IN RUSSIA.

MAYBE FOR YELTSIN.

FYI, THE BIGGEST ELECTION
IN THE HISTORY OF DEMOCRACY.

OKAY, SURE. WHY NOT?
I GOT NOTHING TO DO.

OKAY, NOW WE'RE TALKING.
HANG ON.

MR. BRAYNIN, DICK DRESNER
HAS JOINED US HERE.

MR. BRAYNIN,
IT'S DICK DRESNER.

HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE
TO SPEND ON THIS CAMPAIGN?

IT'S UNLIMITED, WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WIN.

WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS,
YOU'RE GONNA NEED

STATE-OF-THE-ART EVERYTHING.

OFFICES, TELEPHONE SYSTEM,
COMPUTERS, INTERNET.

PRODUCTION FACILITIES
FOR TELEVISION AND RADIO.

DO YOU HAVE
ALL THAT IN RUSSIA?

WELL, IF WE DON'T
HAVE SOMETHING,

WE'LL BUY IT FOR YOU,
MR. DRESNER.

ANYTHING ELSE?

YEAH, OUR FEE...

IS A QUARTER OF A MILLION
DOLLARS, PLUS EXPENSES,

AND FIRST-CLASS
AIRLINE TICKETS.

MM. DONE.

OUR ONLY REQUEST IS THAT THIS ARRANGEMENT BE TOP SECRET.

CONGRATULATIONS, MY FRIEND.
YOU'RE HIRED.

I'LL LET THE CLIENT KNOW
WE GOT THE AMERICANS.

[ click ]

I CAN'T BELIEVE
HOW STUPID WE ARE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT, GEORGE?

THIS COULD BE
THE GIG OF ALL GIGS.

YEAH, COME ON, GEORGE.
THIS IS THE WORLD STAGE.

WE GET YELTSIN REELECTED,

WE'RE GONNA BE HOTTER
THAN WILDFIRE.

WE SHOULD'VE ASKED
FOR A MILLION.

[ Russian national anthem
playing ]

I THINK THIS IS ALL
A RUSSIAN CONSPIRACY
TO GET ME OUT OF BALI.

I WANNA GO BACK,
AND I'M NOT GIVING THEM
A DAMN REFUND.

COME ON, GUYS, KEEP
YOUR PANTYHOSE ON.

SO THEY'RE
A LITTLE LATE.

RUSSIANS AREN'T EXACTLY KNOWN
FOR THEIR PUNCTUALITY.

[ Russian chatter ]

GENTLEMEN, I'M FELIX BRAYNIN.
WELCOME TO MOSCOW.

GOOD TO MEET YOU.NICE TO SEE YOU.

YEAH. YOU-- YOU LOOK
A LITTLE COLD THERE.

WELCOME, WELCOME.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

MR. BRAYNIN, ARE WE
OR ARE WE NOT WORKING
FOR BORIS YELTSIN?

YES, OF COURSE WE ARE,
BUT PLEASE, NO NAMES.

FELIX, YOU TRAVEL
WITH A LOT OF SECURITY, HUH?

JUST PART OF DOING BUSINESS
IN RUSSIA, MY FRIEND.

HOMICIDE RATE HERE IS
TWICE AS HIGH AS IN AMERICA,

AND MURDERS THERE ARE MOSTLY
RELATED TO DRUGS OR GANGS.

HERE, MOST OF THE VICTIMS
ARE BUSINESSMEN AND POLITICIANS.

[ Felix clears throat ]

YOU CAN TAKE
ANY EMPTY BOX.

YEAH, ANY EMPTY SPACE
IS FINE.

PLEASE, DO TAKE OFF
YOUR CLOTHES.

WHAT FOR?

FOR VANNA,OF COURSE.

WELL, WHO THE HELL'S VANNA?

SO SORRY. THIS IS VANNA.
BATHHOUSE.

YOU WANT US
TO TAKE A BATH WITH YOU?

DON'T WORRY.
IT'S A RUSSIAN TRADITION.

YOUR HOST INSISTS.

YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT
YOU WERE OUR HOST.

ME? OH, NO.
I JUST WORK FOR HIM.

OH, REALLY.
HEY, CAN I ASK YOU

A LITTLE QUESTION,
FELIX, ABOUT THIS BATH?

UH, IS IT--
IS IT NECESSARY?

UM, WE DON'T WANT
TO OFFEND OUR HOST...

OH, AND OFFENDED
HE WILL BE.

REALLY? IT'S JUST THAT
WE DO SO MUCH BETTER

IN MEETINGS, UM,
WHEN WE'RE CLOTHED.

YEAH.CORRECT.

GENTLEMEN,
IT'LL BE JUST FINE.

OH. OH...

[ water flowing ]

[ man speaking Russian ]

[ beep ]

DA.[ beep ]

GEORGE GORTON, DICK DRESNER,
JOE SHUMATE,

MEET ANDREI LUGOV.

THEY ARE
VERY NICE, YES?

THE GIRLS.

THEY ARE FRIENDS
OF MINE.

YOU CAN HAVE THEM
FOR THE NIGHT,

OR THEY CAN LIVE
WITH YOU.

I'LL PAY FOR EITHER.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
UH, THAT'S A VERY KIND OFFER.

[ chuckles ] UM, UNFORTUNATELY,
I'M MARRIED.

PRACTICALLY A NEWLYWED,
SO... BAD TIMING.

YEP, ME TOO,
I'M MARRIED,

AND MY WIFE IS
VERY FAMILIAR
WITH SHARP OBJECTS.

AH, IS PITY. PITY.

BUT, UH, GEORGE,
YOU ARE FREE MAN, EH?

YEAH. NO, NO, YEAH,
BUT I MAKE A POINT

NEVER TO PAY FOR...
PAY FOR SEX,

EVEN WITH SOMEBODY ELSE'S,
UH, MONEY.

IT'S A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE.PRINCIPLE?

OH, INTERESTING.
INTERESTING THAT YOU HAVE THEM.

[ speaks Russian ]

[ sucks teeth ]

BYE.

GOOD EVENING, SIR.

GENTLEMEN, YOU LIKE,
UH, FISH EGGS?

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I SOLD
EGGS ON THE STREET.

CHICKEN EGGS.
AND NOW...

I OWN ONE OF THE LARGEST
BUSINESSES IN RUSSIA.

THANK GOD
FOR DEMOCRACY.

AND FOR YELTSIN.

WITHOUT HIM I WOULD
HAVE NOTHING,

SOMETIME NOT EVEN
THE EGGS. NA ZDOROVIE.

THE PRESIDENT IS BEHIND
IN THE POLLS.

YES, WE'RE AWARE OF THAT,
MR. LUGOV,

AND, UH, WE'RE READY
TO RISE TO THE CHALLENGE.

WE HAVE A SYSTEM.
IT'S CALLED--

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YELTSIN IS THE ONLY CANDIDATE
WHO REPRESENTS TRUE DEMOCRACY,

AND-- AND OUR DEMOCRACY
IS YOUNG AND FRAGILE

LIKE A BABY, YOU KNOW?

IT'S-- WITH ITS
PANTLOAD OF SHIT.

THE COUNTRY IS
IN THE CHAOS, YOU KNOW?

IT'S SUFFERING.
STARVATION, CRIME.

ORGANIZED?
NOT SO MUCH.

LOOK-- LOOK AT ME.
LOOK AT ME.

I HAVE 200 BODYGUARDS,
AND DO YOU THINK

I CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT?
DO YOU? NO, NO, NO.

I CAN'T. I'M WORRYING
ABOUT THE FUTURE.

BECAUSE IMAGINE
IF THE COMMUNISTS WIN.

THEN-- THEN WHAT?

THEN WE ARE--
WE ARE ALL REALLY SCREWED,

AND THE WHOLE WORLD
IS SCREWED WITH US.

IT'S A CATASTROPHE
OF A COSMIC PROPORTIONS.

EXCUSE ME,
MR. LUGOV.

WHAT LINE
OF BUSINESS
ARE YOU IN?

MR. SHUMATE, MY BUSINESS
IS MY BUSINESS.

OKAY, GENTLEMEN,
YOU ARE HIRED.

I'LL LET THE PRESIDENT
KNOW THAT WE HAVE AMERICANS.

WHEN CAN WE SEE
MR. YELTSIN?

UH, TOMORROW
OR SOME OTHER DAY.
WHO IS TO KNOW?

"WHO IS TO KNOW."

GENTLEMEN,
IT WENT VERY WELL.

ANDREI IS IMPRESSED,
I CAN TELL.

WHAT EXACTLY IS HIS ROLE
IN THE CAMPAIGN,
MR. BRAYNIN?

TECHNICALLY, HE'S NOT REALLY
A PART OF THE CAMPAIGN.

HE JUST HANDLES
CERTAIN MONEYS.

CERTAIN MONEYS, OH.

IS HE MAFIA?

MAFIA? OH, GOD, NO.

HE'D HAVE YOU KILLED
IF HE HEARD YOU SAID THAT.

[ chuckles ]

[ speaks Russian ]

[ speaks Russian ]

[ speaks Russian ]

WELCOME TO THE PRESIDENT HOTEL,
GENTLEMEN.

HERE IN MOSCOW,
IT'S LIKE THE RITZ.

LOOKS MORE LIKE
THE ROCK TO ME.

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THIS PLACE?

[ laughs ] OH, NO,
THIS IS TOP SHELF.

IT WAS BUILT
FOR THE SOVIET BIGWIGS.

HI.WOW! IF ONLY
THESE WALLS COULD TALK.

[ indistinct ]

FRIENDS, AHEM,
PLEASE TURN IN YOUR PASSPORTS.

THEY'LL HOLD THEM
FOR NOW.

SORRY?FOR THE WHOLE TIME?

FOR WHILE YOU'RE HERE.

THIS CUSTOMARY?

IT'S SAFE.
GO AHEAD.

HERE YOU GO.

[ clears throat ]

GEORGE, HOPE YOU LIKE.

JOE, DICK, YOUR SUITES
ARE EXACTLY LIKE THIS ONE.

I-IT'S IT'S NICE.
THIS LOOKS NICE.

THANKS, FELIX.
OH, WHAT IS THIS?

LOOK AT THIS, DICK.
TAKE A LOOK.

IS THAT THE KREMLIN?
IS IT?

[ vacuum cleaner whining ]

HEY, HOW'S THE COFFEE?

I'VE HAD COLD PISS
THAT TASTES BETTER.

SLIGHT EXAGGERATION.

DICK'S IN A FOUL MOOD.

WE'VE BEEN LOOKING
AT THE YELTSIN POLLS.

OH, DO TELL ME.
YEAH?

I WANNA GO BACK.

WELL, WHY? COME ON.

WE KNEW YELTSIN WAS TRAILING.
THAT'S WHY THEY BROUGHT US HERE.

MM!TRAILING?
HE'S NOT TRAILING.

TRAILING WOULD IMPLY
SOME KIND OF FORWARD MOVEMENT.

ONLY 6% WOULD
VOTE FOR HIM.

THE COMMIE, ZYUGANOV,
GETS 30.

OH, THAT'S...
TERRIBLE.

WHAT ABOUT
OTHER CANDIDATES?

ALL AHEAD.
REFORMISTS, NATIONALS.

THERE'S EVEN A SO-CALLED
LIBERAL DEMOCRAT
CALLED GURINOVSKI.

APPARENTLY HE WALKS
AROUND MOSCOW IN HIS UNDERWEAR

PLANNING AN INVASION
OF ALASKA.

EW. EW!

OW.
WHAT IS THAT?

I DON'T KNOW.
WE ORDERED EGGS.

TRY THE SAUSAGE.OH! THAT'S HORRIBLE.

MM. DAY TWO.
YELT'S AT 6%.

EGGS INEDIBLE,
WHICH MAYBE EXPLAINS
WHY HE'S AT 6%.

WHAT? IT'S, UH,
NOTES FOR A BOOK.

AMERICAN POLITICAL
CONSULTANTS
BEHIND THE SCENES

IN RUSSIA'S STRUGGLING
YOUNG DEMOCRACY?

YOU DON'T THINK THERE'S
A BOOK IN ALL THIS?

A VERY SHORT ONE, MAYBE.

YOU HAVEN'T HEARD
THE BEST PART.

IF THE ELECTION
WERE HELD TODAY,

APPARENTLY STALIN
WOULD GET 8%.

THAT'S MORE THAN BORIS.

JOE, STALIN IS--
IS-IS DEAD.

MM.MM.

NOT AS DEAD AS YELTSIN.

GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN.

HELLO.VERY GOOD NEWS.

I GOT YOU A MEETING
WITH OLEG SOSKOVETS RIGHT AWAY.

SOSKOVETS!SOSKOVETS.

THAT IS GOOD NEWS.

[ cocking rifles ]

YOU WAIT HERE A MINUTE, DA?

DA.OKAY.
TH-TH-THANK YOU.

ANDREI. SOSKOVETS.

VERY, VERY QUICKLY, UM,
WHO IN THE HELL IS SOSKOVETS?

I THINK HE'S THE FIRST
DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER.

THE RUSSIAN PRESS
HAVE SO FAR IDed

SEVEN DIFFERENT PEOPLE
AS YELTSIN'S CAMPAIGN MANAGER.

SOSKOVETS IS ONE OF THEM.MM.

Dick: WHAT THE HECK
ARE THEY DOING IN THERE?

WE'VE BEEN HERE
FOR AN HOUR.

KILLING THEMSELVES BECAUSE
THEY JUST SAW THE NUMBERS?

WELL, YOU KNOW,
OBVIOUSLY THEY'RE

GONNA BE CONCERNED
ABOUT THE NUMBERS.

WE JUST HAVE
TO BE BLASE.

"OH, THE NUMBERS
ARE BAD,

BUT WE CAN AND WILL
TURN IT AROUND."

ARE YOU SUGGESTING
THAT WE LIE

TO THE DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER
OF RUSSIA?

DO YOU HAVE
A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

NO, JUST ASKING.

[ speaking Russian ]

PLEASE, GENTLEMEN,
YOU COME IN.

PLEASE, PLEASE.

[ door closes ]

SO.SO?

GEORGE GORTON.AH, YES.

DICK DRESNER.
HOW ARE YOU?

JOE SHUMATE.

HOW IS
OUR FRIEND BILL?

THINK HE WILL
BEAT BOB DOLE?

PLEASE TO SIT, YES.

OH, UM, PROBABLY.

AH, PROBABLY.

[ chuckles,
speaks Russian ]

YES, SOSKOVETS SAID
THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH ELECTION,

YOU NEVER KNOW
WHO WILL WIN.

CLINTON...

[ speaks Russian ]

CLINTON WON
THE FIRST TIME

BECAUSE BUSH REFUSED
TO BELIEVE HE COULD LOSE.

YELTSIN...
[ speaks Russian ]

YELTSIN IS MUCH THE SAME.
HE DOESN'T TRUST NUMBERS.

SPEAKING OF WHICH,
WE'VE SEEN THE NUMBERS.

UH, NOT IDEAL.

[ speaks Russian ]MM-HMM.

BUT A LOT CAN CHANGE
IN FOUR MONTHS,

ESPECIALLY
FOR THE INCUMBENT.

MM-HMM.

WE JUST GOTTA
GET CRANKING ASAP.

MM-HMM.

WE HAVE A SYSTEM.
IT'S CALLED ELECTION GAMING.

UH, IT'S BASICALLY LIKE--

[ interrupts ]

Andrei:
HERE ARE THE RULES.

YOU DON'T TALK
TO THE PRESS.

NO LEAKS AT ALL.

YOU ARE NEVER TO REVEAL
WHO YOUR CLIENT IS.

IT WILL BE A TERRIBLE BLOW
TO OUR NATIONAL PRIDE.

YOUR MAIN JOB IS...

TO LET US KNOW IF YOU DETERMINE
THAT YELTSIN WILL LOSE.

ASAP.

AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

THEN WE'LL TAKE STEPS.

WH-WHO? WHAT KIND OF STEPS?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "STEPS"?

WHAT KIND OF STEPS?

THAT'S IT.

YOU ARE HIRED.

[ continues in Russian ]

I'LL LET THE PRESIDENT KNOW
WE HAVE AMERICANS.

YEAH, I'M GONNA
TAKE A-- A WALK,

DO A LITTLE SIGHTSEEING.

UM, MAYBE YOU CAN
TELL ME WHERE--

OH, BUT YOU DON'T SPEAK
ENGLISH. I'M SORRY.

RUDE. WHEN IN ROME,
SPEAK RUSSIAN.

UM, ME, I'M GONNA,
YOU KNOW...

HOW DO YOU SAY
PROMENADE...SKI?

UM, UM, UM, STROLLY?

I SPEAK.OH, OH, YOU SPEAK!

WALK NOT ADVISED.YEAH. YEAH.

THAT WAS
A SHORT WALK.

IT WASN'T ADVISED.

TOLD YA.

AND WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF I DIDN'T TAKE

THEIR SO-CALLED ADVICE
AND JUST WALKED OUT?

THEY'D PROBABLY SHOOT
YOU IN THE BACK OR SAY
"HAVE A NICE DAY."

GEEZ LOUISE,
WHAT A COUNTRY!

AND HOW ABOUT
THOSE STUPID HATS
THEY ALL WEAR?

I MEAN, I KNOW
IT'S COLD,

BUT, YOU KNOW, HAVE
A LITTLE DIGNITY.

IS ANYONE ELSE CURIOUS
ABOUT WHY NO ONE

SEEMS TO WANT
TO HEAR OUR PITCH?

I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

BECAUSE THIS WHOLE THING
IS BULLSHIT.

WE'VE BEEN HERE ONE WEEK.

NO YELTSIN,
NO MEETING, NO OFFICES.

NOTHING. WE GOT DICK.

MAYBE "ASAP" IN RUSSIAN
MEANS, UH, WHEN HELL
FREEZES OVER.

YEAH, WELL, LOOK OUTSIDE.
IT ALREADY HAS.

LET'S REACH OUT
AND TOUCH SOMEBODY, SHALL WE?

ANDREI LUGOV, PLEASE.
GEORGE GORTON HERE.

HE WHAT?

YE--

HE IS?

OKAY, THANK YOU.

UH, THEY SAID HE'S
TOO DRUNK TO TALK.

THEY DID NOT.

DIRECT QUOTE.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO BE
A PARTY POOPER OR ANYTHING,

BUT THIS WHOLE THING
IS STARTING TO SMELL BAD.

THERE'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT.WHOA, LET'S NOT PANIC.

I MEAN, LOOK AT
THIS RATIONALLY.

ONE, THEY FORKED OVER
AN AWFUL LOT OF MONEY
TO BRING US HERE.

TWO, SO FAR
THEY'VE GIVEN US
THE VIP TREATMENT.

FOR CHRIST SAKES,
THEY EVEN OFFERED US
FREE SEX.

WHICH WE REFUSED.THAT WAS YOUR CHOICE.

THREE, THEY TAKE
OUR PASSPORTS

AND LOCK US UP
IN A FIVE-STAR PRISON,

AND APPARENTLY, NO ONE
WANTS US TO PROVIDE

THE SERVICE
THEY PAID US FOR.

HOW AM I DOING SO FAR?YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

IF I WASN'T PANICKED BEFORE,
I'M PANICKING NOW.

IT ALL SOUNDS VERY
KAFKAESQUE, DOESN'T IT?

COME ON, COME ON,
THERE'S GOTTA BE
A LOGICAL EXPLANATION.

I MEAN, WHY WOULD
THEY DO THAT?

YOU WANT AN EXPLANATION?

HOW ABOUT THIS
FOR A SCENARIO?

HOW ABOUT THIS, OKAY?

ONE, LUGOV GETS
THIS GREAT IDEA:

"LET'S HIRE AMERICANS
TO SAVE DEMOCRACY,"

AND, OF COURSE,
HIS MONEY.

TWO, HE FINDS BRAYNIN
IN SAUSALITO AND SAYS, "JUMP."

THREE, BRAYNIN SAYS,
"HOW HIGH,"

AND REACHES FOR THE WHO'S WHO
OF POLITICAL CONSULTING.

FOUR, WE JUMP
EVEN HIGHER THAN FELIX

BECAUSE THE CHECK CLEARS.

AND FINALLY, FIVE,
BORIS AND HIS SEVEN MANAGERS,

THEY DON'T LIKE
LUGOV'S IDEA ANYMORE,

AND SO THEY'RE TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT A WAY

THAT THEY CAN FUCK US
UP THE ASS

WITHOUT A STICK OF BUTTER.
HOW'S THAT, MM?

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS WHOLE THING
IS STARTING TO REMIND ME OF?

DALLAS.'94.

THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

THERE'S A LUFTHANSA
AT 10:00 P.M. THROUGH FRANKFURT.

ALL THOSE FOR GETTING
OUT OF DODGE SAY AYE.

NO, NO, I THINK WE OUGHT
TO RIDE THIS OUT
AND SEE WHERE IT GOES.

WHY DON'T YOU STAY HERE
AND RIDE IT OUT
AND SEE HOW IT GOES

AND SEND ME A FLIPPIN' POSTCARD
WHEN YOU FIND OUT.

[ knocking ]

GEORGE, HOPE
I'M NOT WAKING YOU.

FOLLOW ME.
YOU HAVE A MEETING.

THANKS FOR
THE ADVANCE NOTICE.

BUT UNLESS IT'S WITH YELTSIN,
I'M NOT INTERESTED.

IT IS WITH YELTSIN.

LET ME GET
THE GUYS. HERE.

GEORGE.WHAT?

GEORGE.WHAT?

ONE AMERICAN IS
ENOUGH FOR NOW.

[ knocking ]

MORNING.

AHEM. MR. GORTON?

YEAH.

PLEASE MEET, UH,
TATIANA DTACHENKO.

HELLO. CHARMED.

TATIANA'S
THE PRESIDENT'S
DAUGHTER.

OH.

UM, SIT.

OH, PLEASE SIT DOWN.

SURE. SURE.

YEAH.
[ speaks Russian ]

UM...

MY PAPA, UM...

MY PAPA...

[ speaks Russian ]

HE REALLY BELIEVES
IN THE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS...

AND HE TRULY
WANTS TO WIN...

BUT DEMOCRACY
IS SO NEW HERE,

NOBODY REALLY KNOWS
HOW TO DO IT.

AND PAPA-- THERE ARE
SO MANY FACTIONS

IN MY PAPA'S STAFF.

THEY ALL GIVE HIM SO MUCH
CONTRADICTORY ADVICE.

AND HE ASKED ME
TO SORT THINGS OUT.

BUT, ME, I'M JUST A MOM.
I'M JUST A WIFE.

I REALLY DON'T
UNDERSTAND POLITICS.

I DON'T KNOW WHY
HE ASKED ME.

MM, WELL, MAYBE
HE DOESN'T, UH,

TRUST ANYBODY ELSE.

[ translating ]

[ chuckles ]

DO YOU THINK
THAT PAPA CAN WIN, TRUTHFULLY?

TRUTHFULLY?

YES, ABSOLUTELY.

JUST GOTTA GIVE US
A CHANCE TO DO OUR JOB.

WHO WILL TELL YOU
WHAT TO DO?

YOU AND YOUR
LEADERSHIP COMMITTEE.

AND WHO WILL TELL US
WHAT TO DO?

WE WILL.

LOOK, UH, WE HAVE
A SYSTEM.

IT'S CALLED
ELECTION GAMING.

[ sighs ]

I-I'M SORRY,
BUT I HAVE TO GO.

I-I HAVE KIDS AND--

AND-- AND-- I'M A WIFE,
AND I HAVE TO GO.

GREAT, NO, I KNOW.
YOU'RE BUSY.

EVERYBODY HERE'S BUSY.

YOU KNOW, I MEAN,
YOU BRING US HERE,

YOU NEED OUR HELP,
BUT THEN NOBODY

WANTS TO LISTEN
TO WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY.

MM...

YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT REALLY IS IMPORTANT.

DO GO ON.

REALLY?

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY, UH...

WELL, THE SYSTEM...

IS CALLED ELECTION GAMING.

IT'S BASICALLY
LIKE WAR GAMES,

ONLY WE USE POLLS
AND FOCUS GROUPS

TO SIMULATE AN ELECTION.

UM, WE TEST EVERYTHING,

EVERY IDEA THAT
THE CAMPAIGN'S USING

OR THINKING OF USING.

UH, NO, IN A NUTSHELL,

WE FIND OUT WHAT VOTERS WANT,
AND WE GIVE IT TO THEM.

I COULD SAY MUCH MORE,
BUT TH-THAT'S ESSENTIALLY IT.

IT'S KIND OF DELICIOUS,
BUT THAT'S THE SHORT. THAT'S--

MR. GORTON...

YEAH?

YOU SEEM LIKE
A TRUTHFUL MAN, MR. GORTON.

I WOULD LIKE YOU...

AND YOUR TEAM TO CONSULT ME

AND MY FAMILY PERSONALLY.

YOU'RE HIRED.

GOOD. GOOD. GOOD.

UH, WHEN CAN WE
MEET YOUR FATHER?

MONEY. MONEY, RIGHT?
HOW MUCH? HOW MUCH?

HOW MUCH IS A PASSPORT WORTH
ON THE OPEN MARKET THESE DAYS?

SORRY, NOT
AUTHORIZED TO DO.

"NOT AUTHORIZED TO DO."
HOW MUCH?

THEY'RE NOT LETTING
US CHECK OUT.

GOOD.
WE'RE NOT LEAVING.

UH, WE GOT HIRED.

♪ I'LL BE SO LONELY, BABY

♪ I'LL BE SO LONELY

♪ I'LL BE SO LONELY
I COULD DIE ♪

SO, WHAT, YOU'RE TELLING ME
WE'RE STAYING

BECAUSE YOU MET
CHELSEA CLINTON.

OH, NO, NO, NO.

TATIANA DTACHENKO
MADE YELTSIN.

GRADUATED FROM
MOSCOW UNIVERSITY,

MATH AND COMPUTERS,

MARRIED, TWO SONS.

SO WE KNOW SHE CAN BREED.
SO WHAT?

NO, NO, NO, DICK,
I'M TELLING YOU,

TATIANA'S THE REAL DEAL.

SHE'S GONNA BE
RUNNING THE CAMPAIGN,

AND SHE'S GONNA BE RUNNING IT
THE WAY WE TELL HER TO.

DID SHE LET YOU GIVE HER
THE ELECTION GAMING SPIEL?

YEAH. YES.

FINALLY,
AND SHE'S INTO IT.

I'M TELLING YOU.

OKAY. OKAY.

SO, WHEN DO WE
MEET YELTSIN?

I WANT MY PASSPORT.

I WANT MY PASSPORT.
AND I WANT IT NOW.

JUST A SECOND, DICK.NO! NO, NO, NO.
NO SECONDS!

- OKAY, YOU CAN'T RUN A CAMPAIGN
WITHOUT A CANDIDATE.
- HI.
- ALL RIGHT, SIR.

IT'S LIKE HAVING
A DOG AND PONY SHOW

WITHOUT THE PONY,
WITHOUT THE FREAKIN' DOG.

DICK, DICK, YELTSIN
CAN'T MEET WITH US.

HE'S GOTTA HAVE
PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY.

THE RUSSIAN FUCKING PRESIDENT,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

IMAGINE IN D.C. IF IT BROKE
THAT THE CHINESE OR SOME SUCH

WERE SITTING IN THE OVAL OFFICE
TELLING OUR PRESIDENT
WHAT TO DO?

HE'D BE OUT
OF THE WHITE HOUSE

BEFORE HE COULD SAY,
"I'D LIKE SOME FRIES
WITH THAT."

THAT'S RIGHT. FOR US
THIS IS THE MOTHER OF ALL GIGS.

IF BORIS TANKS, NOBODY KNOWS
THAT WE STEERED THE SUNKEN SHIP,

BUT IF HE WINS,
WE MAKE SURE WE GET THE CREDIT

FOR BRINGING HIM BACK
FROM THE ABYSS.

IT'S A THING OF BEAUTY.

AND BESIDES,
WE DON'T NEED BORIS.

WE'VE GOT TATIANA,
AND SHE'S GOT HIS EAR.

OH, THAT'S GREAT,

SO WE CAN MAKE
A PURSE OUT OF IT.

[ ding ]

LOOK WHO GOT AN OFFICE, HUH?
HUH? WE DID! THAT'S WHO.

OH... OH!

WE'RE BACK IN THE GAME.

SIXTEEN WEEKS LEFT
TILL JUNE 16,

LOT OF CANDIDATES
TO OVERTAKE,

AND WE'RE GETTING
A LATE START.

THE CAMPAIGN, I'M SORRY TO SAY,
IS NOT PERFECTLY ORGANIZED.

UH, NOW, WE HAVEN'T
DONE ANY POLLING YET,

BUT FROM THE FIRST LOOK
OF IT,

THE MAIN PROBLEM
WITH THE CAMPAIGN ITSELF

IS THAT THERE ARE
TOO MANY COOKS

AND, UH, ONLY ONE POT
OF BORSCHT.

MEANING TO SAY, UM,

NO ONE PERSON TO TAKE
RESPONSIBILITY FOR SCREW-UPS.

WHAT SCREW-UPS?
BE SPECIFIC.

UH, APPARENTLY THIS IS ONE
IN A SERIES

OF YELTSIN'S
CAMPAIGN ADS.

[ speaking Russian ]

Felix: WHAT HE'S
ACTUALLY SAYING

IS HOW MUCH HIS LIFE
HAS IMPROVED UNDER YELTSIN.

THE MAN IS OBVIOUSLY
A LIAR AND A DRUNK.

HOW HAS
HIS LIFE IMPROVED?

WHAT, IS HE
EVEN DRUNKER NOW?

W-WHAT DICK'S
TRYING TO SAY

IS THAT, UM, NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE
ARE GONNA BELIEVE

A GUY WHO'S OBVIOUSLY
BEEN PAID TO PRAISE
THE CURRENT REGIME--

NOT NEARLY
AS EFFECTIVE, TATIANA,

AS THE CANDIDATE HIMSELF
ADDRESSING THE PUBLIC.

OH, NYET.

NO.

PAPA WILL NEVER APPEAR
IN A TELEVISION AD.

HE WILL NEVER SELL
HIMSELF LIKE THIS.

OOH. UH-OH.

WELL, AHEM.
APPARENTLY HE, UH,

DOESN'T HAVE
ANY PROBLEM DOING THIS.

HE DIDN'T POSE FOR THAT.

THEY JUST USED
HIS PHOTOGRAPH.

IS IT-- IS IT BAD?

WELL, IT'S NOT BAD
IF YOU WANT A POSTER
FOR A HORROR MOVIE.

NOW, SEE, HE'S--
HE'S KIDDING.

AGAIN, HE'S KIDDING.
NO, NO, NO.

IT'S JUST THAT THE SHOT IS--
IT'S--IT'S GRIM.

FIERCE. FIERCE.

STOP WALTZING
AROUND THE TREE.

ARE YOU SAYING
THIS IS HOPELESS

AND WE WON'T WIN?

NO, CERTAINLY NOT. IT'S NOT
WHAT WE'RE SAYING AT ALL.

WHAT WE'RE SAYING IS,
UH, LET'S HOLD OUR HORSES.

NO MORE TV SPOTS,
NO MORE POSTERS,

NO MORE MAILINGS.

NONE OF THAT'S WORKING,
SO WE GOTTA FIND OUT WHAT WOULD.

YOU SEE, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE
TO TARGET CAMPAIGN RESOURCES

WITHOUT ANALYZING ALL THE MOODS
AND TRENDS IN THIS COUNTRY.

WE NEED HARD FACTS.

WE CAN'T CHANGE OPINIONS
IF WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.

YOU'RE JUST GONNA KEEP
BURNING THROUGH CASH.

THAT'S RIGHT, EXACTLY.
EXACTLY.

LET'S FIND THE BEST POLLSTER
IN THE COUNTRY

AND START TESTING.

SOSKOVETS IS CONCERNED
TATIANA HAS NO EXPERIENCE
RUNNING THE COMPANY.

REALLY? WELL, NO EXPERIENCE
COMPARED TO WHOM?

SEVEN CAMPAIGN MANAGERS.

APPARENTLY, THEY'RE
DOING A BANG-UP JOB.

I AM TO BE IN
ON ALL YOUR MEETINGS.

I ALSO WANT TO BE
BRIEFED ON THE AGENDA
IN ADVANCE.

IS THAT CLEAR?
NO EXCEPTIONS.

THESE TWO WILL BE
YOUR BODYGUARDS, OKAY?

SO, THAT MEANS WHENEVER YOU
NEED TO LEAVE THE HOTEL,

CALL DOWNSTAIRS.

THEY WILL COME AND GET YOU.

[ siren wailing ]

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED
TO GO ANYWHERE UNESCORTED.

YOU HAVE TO STAY
INCONSPICUOUS.

NO BIG CROWDS,
NO PUBLIC PLACES,

NO CAMPAIGN FUNCTIONS.

YOU ALSO CANNOT
RUN AROUND MOSCOW

SAYING YOU WORK FOR YELTSIN,
BLAH BLAH BLAH.

OKAY?

[ gasps ]

Joe: WOW, THESE GUYS
ARE GOOD AT INCONSPICUOUS.

George: RIGHT, AND WHO EXACTLY
ARE THEY PROTECTING US FROM?

THE SCARIEST THING I'VE SEEN
AROUND HERE IS THEM.

♪♪

Felix: HEY, VASSO!

VASSO, UH, MY NAME
IS GEORGE GORTON.

WE TALKED ON THE PHONE.

YOU WATCH, UH,
MONTECITOAT HOME?

UH... NOT AS OFTEN
AS I'D LIKE.

IS THE MOST POPULAR
SHOW HERE.

MOST RUSSIANS
NEVER SAW A BIKINI.

I DID A POLL
THAT CONFIRMS THIS.

FASCINATING. SO, VASSO,

UM, HOW MUCH WILL IT COST US
TO DO A SAMPLE POLL?

WHO ARE YOU?
WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS?

INTERVISTA INTERNATIONAL.

WE'RE BRINGING
THIN-SCREEN TVs TO RUSSIA.

UM, OBVIOUSLY IT'S
A PRETTY BIG INVESTMENT,

SO WE THOUGHT WE'D DO
SOME GENERAL POLLING
AND MARKET R&D.

60,000 PER POLL,
AMERICAN DOLLARS.

WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS?
THERE'S THREE PLACES HERE
THAT'LL DO IT FOR 40,000.

BUT YOU WANT THE BEST.
I'M 60,000.

MM-HMM. IT'S A DEAL.

YOU HAVE ALL
THE STOCK QUESTIONS
YOU WANT ME TO ASK?

I WANT TO TAKE
A LOOK.

THERE YOU GO.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF YELTSIN"?

"IS THE PRESIDENT
DOING A GOOD JOB?"

"DOES YELTSIN CARE FOR
A PERSON LIKE YOU?"

SO. THIN-SCREEN TVs,
HUH?

IT'S A...
BIG INVESTMENT.

I'M SURE YOU'VE MET
THE NEW RUSSIANS.

THEY ARE MEN
WHO DRIVE FAST CARS,

WEAR LABELS
ON THEIR UNDERWEAR,

DRINK FRENCH CHAMPAGNE.

BUT THESE, THESE ARE
THE REAL RUSSIANS,

THE KIND WORK FOR A LIVING,

THE KIND
DON'T GET PAID.

WE ALWAYS FEED THEM FIRST.

RUSSIANS HATE TO TALK
ON EMPTY STOMACH.

THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.

[ speaking Russian ]

MY FIRST QUESTION IS
IF YELTSIN WERE A TREE,

WHAT KIND OF A TREE
WOULD HE BE?

WHAT THE HELL
IS HE TALKING ABOUT?

DICK, STAY.

WHAT HAPPENED
TO OUR QUESTIONS?

I CAN'T ASK YOUR QUESTIONS.
THEY'RE TOO LEADING.

NOT SCIENTIFIC.

YOU'RE ASKING WHAT KIND
OF TREE YELTSIN WOULD BE,

AND OUR QUESTIONS
ARE NOT SCIENTIFIC?

VASSO, NO OFFENSE,
BUT--BUT WE'D REALLY APPRECIATE

IF YOU STUCK
TO OUR QUESTIONNAIRE.

UH, NO. I WOULD NOT
FEEL COMFORTABLE.

NOT COMF-- TELL YOU WHAT,
WE PAID YOU

A SHITLOAD OF MONEY,
SO GET COMFORTABLE.

I DOUBT YOU SELL
MANY TVs, DICK.

RIGHT.

DOES HAVE A POINT
ABOUT THE TVs.

LET ME REPHRASE
THE QUESTION.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT YELTSIN?

IS HE DOING A GOOD JOB?

THERE MUST BE
SOME MISTAKE.

Dick: NO, NO MISTAKE.
MARGIN OF ERROR IS 2% TOPS, JOE.

UH, "DO YOU APPROVE
OF THE JOB YELTSIN IS DOING?"

8% APPROVE,
59% DISAPPROVE.

"DOES HE CARE ABOUT
A PERSON LIKE YOU?"

TEN YES, 85 NO.

SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT
HOLD HIM RESPONSIBLE

FOR THE BAD ECONOMY,
AND 69% THINK HE'S CORRUPT.

SEVENTY PERCENT BLAME HIM
FOR THE WAR IN CHECHNYA,

AND 61% THINK HE'S
TOO INCOMPETENT TO LEAD.

FIFTY-NINE PERCENT FEEL--JOE. JOE. JOE. JOE.

BUT THERE'S MORE.

SO, YOU SAY
WE CAN'T WIN?

NO. WHO SAID THAT?
WE DIDN'T SAY THAT.

NO. YES, THOSE NUMBERS ARE,
UH, THOSE ARE SHEER AGONY,

THOSE NUMBERS, BUT THERE
ARE A FEW POSITIVES,

LIKE THERE'S A BIG BLOCK
OF UNDECIDEDS.

THEY DON'T LIKE YELTSIN,
BUT THEY MIGHT VOTE FOR HIM

IF THE ONLY ALTERNATIVE
IS A COMMUNIST.

MANY PEOPLE THINK
YELTSIN WAS GOOD ONCE.

SEE, THAT'S IMPORTANT,
BECAUSE IT MEANS
THEY CAN THINK IT AGAIN.

HE'S GOOD NOW.
HE'S TRYING.

HE IS A GOOD MAN.

YOUR FATHER IS A GREAT MAN,

BUT, YOU KNOW,

THAT'S A LITTLE LESS RELEVANT
RIGHT NOW.

WHO HE IS ISN'T AS IMPORTANT
AS WHO PEOPLE THINK HE IS,

WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE TO,
UH, CHANGE HIS IMAGE,

REPACKAGE HIM.

REPACKAGE?

[ translating ]

PAPA'S NOT
A BAR OF SOAP.

NO.I DIDN'T SAY HE WAS.

BUT THAT'S
WHAT YOU MEANT.

I'M NOT SURE I LIKE
YOUR WESTERN POLITICS.

WELL, YOU'LL LIKE IT
IF WE WIN.

YOU'LL HATE IT
IF WE LOSE,

SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO WIN, UM...

AT ALL COSTS.

[ translating ]

I'LL TALK TO PAPA
ABOUT IT.

DICK, RISE AND SHINE.

JOE, DROP YOUR COCK,
GRAB YOUR SOCK.

WE GOT DEVELOPMENTS.

DICK!

MY GOD.

MUST'VE GONE WELL
WITH POPPY.

THEY WANT US BACK
AT THE TABLE AT 2:00 A.M.

TO WORK ON HIS
CAMPAIGN KICKOFF SPEECH.

WHAT? NO, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT.

WE CAN'T DO THAT.
THAT'S NOT OUR JOB.

WE DON'T KNOW ENOUGH
OF THE ISSUES TO WRITE
A KICKOFF SPEECH.

THAT NEVER
STOPPED US BEFORE.

I CAN'T BULLSHIT
IN RUSSIAN.

OH, JESUS.WHERE YOU GOING, JOE?

I'M GOING
BACK TO BED!

NO, WE HAVE AN HOUR.

AN HOUR! AN HOUR,
WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT.

GEE, I THOUGHT WE WERE
IN TROUBLE. AN HOUR!

OKAY, WE GIVE HIM
SIX BULLET POINTS.

THE GOOD OLD
BULLET POINT STANDBY!

ENLIGHTEN US,
PROFESSOR.

OKAY, UH, THE SPEECH
IS A KICKOFF,

SO IT NEEDS
TO BE KICK-ASS.

IT'S GOTTA COME OFF
AS ENERGETIC,

VIGOROUS, POPULAR,

AND HE NEEDS A MESSAGE
THAT'S TOP-NOTCH.

TATIANA WANTS TO KNOW
WHY HER FATHER NEEDS A MASSAGE

TO LOOK MORE VIGOROUS
AND ENERGETIC.

NO, NO.NOT MASSAGE. MESSAGE.
WHAT HE ACTUALLY SAYS.

[ Felix translates ]

[ laughing ]

"MESSAGE" DOESN'T EXIST
IN, UH, RUSSIAN.

IT'S REALLY HARD
TO TRANSLATE.

WELL, THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.

HERE, HERE, FORGET THE WORD.
WORD ISN'T IMPORTANT.

LET ME JUST SHOW YOU
WHAT I MEAN.

LOOK AT ZYUGANOV'S
NOMINATION SPEECH.

NOW, THAT'S FIERY,
IT'S CONTAGIOUS,

AND HE'S GOT
THINGS TO SAY.

SLOW DOWN REFORM,
QUASH THE CHECHENS,

DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH.

THE GUY MAY BE A COMMIE,
BUT HE'S GOT A MESSAGE.

THAT'S WHAT WE NEED.

Dick: YOU SEE, UNLIKE
MOST INCUMBENTS,

YOUR FATHER CAN'T RUN
ON HIS PAST RECORD,

BECAUSE THE MAJORITY OF VOTERS
VIEW HIM AS A CORRUPT BUMBLER,

SO HE HAS TO, UH, INSTEAD
RUN ON PROMISES

AND THE SHORTCOMINGS
OF THE OTHER CANDIDATE.

Joe: BASED ON OUR RESEARCH,
THE PRESIDENT'S BEEN SPENDING

TOO MUCH TIME BICKERING
WITH OTHER DEMOCRATS,

ESSENTIALLY GIVING THEM
CREDIBILITY.

HE SHOULD START
ATTACKING ZYUGANOV,

AND PRESENT HIMSELF
AS THE MAIN ALTERNATIVE.

ATTACK ZYUGANOV.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "ATTACK"?

NOT-- NOT PHYSICALLY.
NOT PHYSICALLY.

NO, HE'S GOTTA
NEGATIVE-CAMPAIGN HIM,

WITH TRUTH SQUADS
AND TV SPOTS AND SOUND BITES.

TRUTH SQUADS?
PLEASE EXPLAIN.

OH, TRUTH-- TRUTH SQUADS
ARE, UM, HECKLERS

SENT TO
YOUR OPPONENT'S RALLIES

TO CHALLENGE AND BOO,
DISRUPT.

Joe: DID YOU GUYS WATCH
THE FIRST CLINTON CAMPAIGN?

ANYWAY, THEY, UH, DRESSED
THIS GUY UP IN A CHICKEN OUTFIT,

CHICKEN GEORGE,
THEY CALLED HIM,

AND BASICALLY CHICKEN GEORGE
WOULD FOLLOW BUSH AROUND

AND HECKLE HIM,
BECAUSE HE WON'T DEBATE. SO...

BUT THAT'S UNFAIR.

WHAT?

[ laughs ] TATIANA,
IT WORKS.

HMM.

YOU CALL THIS...

TRUTH SQUADS?

TRUTH SQUADS.

YES.

PAPA WILL NOT USE
THIS KIND OF TACTICS.

WE MAY STOP ARGUING
WITH THE DEMOCRATS.

...NEGATIVE CAMPAIGN.

WE WON'T HAVE
A NEGATIVE CAMPAIGN.

WE WON'T.
WHAT'LL WE HAVE?

A POSITIVE CAMPAIGN.

YOU SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT RUNNING ON PROMISES.

SO, JUST GIVE US
THE SIX BULLET POINTS

SO WE CAN ALL
GO TO BED.

WHAT, UH,
SIX BULLET POINTS?

SIX OR SEVEN OR WHATEVER.

SOME POINTS THAT HE
COULD ADDRESS IN THE SPEECH.

OKAY, YOU KNOW,
I THINK WE NEED TO TAKE

A QUICK BATHROOM BREAK.
TWO MINUTES, OKAY?

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
ALSO. SAME HERE.

JOE?

I DON'T HAVE TO GO.NOW.

BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.

WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?

OKAY, OKAY,
LET'S RECAP.

ONE, WE WERE ALONE
WHEN WE TALKED ABOUT
THE SIX BULLET POINTS,

TWO, NOBODY
WAS TAKING ANY NOTES,

AND, THREE, THE ONLY
POSSIBLE EXPLANATION IS
THAT WE'RE BEING BUGGED.

AS USUAL, I'VE ENJOYED
THE STATISTICAL ANALYSIS, JOE.

NOW I'M GONNA GO
AND PACK.

NO, WHY? SO THEY'RE BUGGING.
SO WHAT?

WHAT'VE WE GOT TO HIDE?

EXACTLY. EXACTLY.
WHY SPY ON US, RIGHT?

THEY'RE PAYING US
FOR OUR IDEAS.

DICK, THEY BUG
EVERYONE HERE.

IT'S TRADITION.
CONSIDER YOURSELF
CULTURALLY ENRICHED.

THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT.

EXCEPT I'M TRYING
TO REMEMBER,

DID THEY OVERHEAR ANYTHING?

DID WE SAY ANYTHING BAD
ABOUT YELTSIN?

YOU KNOW,
I THINK-- I THINK...

I THINK I CALLED
HIM A PUTZ.

[ chuckles ] YOU DIDN'T.I THINK SO.

HEY! MAYBE THEY DON'T
KNOW WHAT "PUTZ" MEANS.

MAYBE WE CAN TELL THEM
IN AMERICA IT MEANS
"GREAT PRESIDENT."

ALL RIGHT, WE'RE BACK.

Dick: NOW... THIS KICKOFF SPEECH
HAS TO BE DIFFERENT

THAN ANYTHING
HE'S EVER DONE BEFORE.

LET'S BRING HIM IN THROUGH
THE BACK OF THE AUDITORIUM,

WHERE HE PARTS THE CROWD
LIKE IT'S THE RED SEA.

YEAH, AND THE CROWD
IS GOING NUTS!

THEY'RE EXCITED. THEY'RE
POUNDING HIM ON THE BACK.

YOU STATION YOUR PEOPLE
THROUGHOUT, YOU KNOW,

TO LEAD THE CROWD, CHEERING,
JUMPING UP, APPLAUDING.

THAT'S RIGHT,
AND HE'S MOVING ALONG.

HE'S SHAKING HANDS.
HE'S PRESSING THE FLESH.

LIKE KENNEDY,
HE'S REACHING OUT.
HE'S SQUEEZING HARD.

AND BABIES.
HE'S GOTTA KISS BABIES.

IF IT'S UNDER THREE,
HE'S GOTTA KISS IT.

YEAH, ON THE FOREHEAD.

FOREHEAD'S BETTER THAN CHEEKS.
I DON'T KNOW.

George: RIGHT, RIGHT,
AND THEN HE HITS THE STAGE,

AND HE'S SURROUNDED
BY FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

LOTS OF LOVE,
LOTS OF SUPPORT.

AND HE'S SMILING.

SMILING FOR HIM
IS GONNA BE VERY IMPORTANT.

NOW, THE SPEECH.
SHORT! MAXIMUM, 20 MINUTES.

AND HE NEEDS
TO BE SOBER.

SIXTY-SIX PERCENT THINK
HE DRINKS TOO MUCH, SO...

PERHAPS WE SHOULD SCHEDULE
THE SPEECH EARLY IN THE DAY.

EXACTLY.
GOOD IDEA.

[ vacuum cleaner whining ]

[ applause ]

THEY LOOK FUCKING COMATOSE.

CAN YOU BLAME THEM?
IT'S LIKE WATCHING A CORPSE.

SHH, THEY COULD
BE LISTENING.

[ chuckles ]
CLEARLY THEY'RE NOT.

CLEARLY THEY HAVEN'T HEARD
A FUCKING WORD WE SAID!

LOOK! LOOK AT THIS.

IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE APPLAUDING
FOR LETTING THEM BE CORRUPT.

THEY'RE APPLAUDING
BECAUSE IT'S OVER.

THREE HOURS
AND 46 MINUTES!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

HOW DOES SOMEONE TALK
FOR THREE HOURS
AND 46 MINUTES?

IT'S GOTTA BE SOME KIND OF
WORLD RECORD OF TALKING.

WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT HAPPENED?

FOR GOD'S SAKE,
WHAT HAPPENED?

Dick: WE ARE SO SCREWED.

PAPA'S ADVISORS WERE AGAINST
USING PHONY AMERICAN TRICKS.

PHONY TRICKS? LIKE,
WHAT KIND OF PHONY TRICKS?

LIKE SMILING
IS A PHONY TRICK?

THEY ADVISED HIM THAT
SMILING WOULD SEEM WEAK,

MAKE HIM SEEM WEAK.

RUSSIAN PEOPLE
WANT HIM TO BE...

MORE STAR-LIKE.

ACCORDING TO OUR POLLS,
THE RUSSIAN PEOPLE
DON'T WANT HIM AT ALL.

BUT THE SPEECH WAS
A SUCCESS, NO?

...SIX POINTS.

THE SIX POINTS
YOU SUGGESTED.

NO, TATIANA, HE DIDN'T
MAKE A SINGLE POINT.

I CAN PROVE IT TO YOU.

[ speaking Russian ]

THIS GRAPH HERE CORRESPONDS
TO THE DIALS

IN FRONT OF EACH
OF THE PARTICIPANTS.

THEY TURN IT TO THE RIGHT,

AND THE WAVE GOES UP,
YOU SEE?

THEY SEE SOMETHING
THEY DON'T LIKE,

THEY TURN THE DIAL
TO THE LEFT,

AND THE GRAPH GOES DOWN.

GOT IT?MM-HMM.

ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET MOVING.

George: SPORTS IS GOOD.

ALL THIS ACTIVITY.

EVERYBODY LIKES SPORTSMEN.

SEE THAT? BUT LOOK.

LOOK AT THIS,
WHEN HE LOOKS MEAN,

THEY DON'T LIKE IT.
THEY DON'T LIKE THAT.

Translator: THEY LIKE IT.
THEY LIKE IT WHEN HE SMILES.

THEY LIKE IT
WHEN HE SMILES. I KNOW.

NOW, HERE. WATCH THIS.
THE SPEECH.

SEE THAT? NEGATIVE.
IT'S NEGATIVE ENTIRELY.

ALL THE WAY THROUGH,
NEGATIVE.

[ sighs ]

YOU WERE RIGHT.
THEY HATED IT.

THEY HATED IT,
I KNOW. I KNOW.

THIS IS AMAZING.

ISN'T IT? I KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU CALL
THIS MACHINE?

OH, THIS IS THE, UM,
PERCEPTION ANALYZER.

PERCEPTION ANALYZER.

[ continues in Russian ]

IT'S LIKE YOU PUT
YOUR FEELINGS ON SCREEN.

YEAH, YEAH.[ clears throat ]

UM...

[ clears throat ]

I'LL TELL PAPA
TO SMILE MORE.

MM. OH, OH.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FIRST,
A SHOWER OR A CIGARETTE?

GEORGE, DID IT OCCUR TO YOU
THAT SHE IS THE DAUGHTER

OF THE RUSSIAN PRESIDENT?

REALLY? GEE, THANKS
FOR THE INFO.

HERE'S SOMETHING
FOR BOTH OF YOU.

YOU'RE ASSHOLES, OKAY?

TATIANA. TATIANA.
IT'S NOT JUST THE SMILING.

HE'S GOT TO TOTALLY DROP
THE WHOLE CZAR, UH, CHARACTER.

NO MORE SPEECHES.
MORE WALK, LESS TALK.

THAT'S MY MOTTO.
WHAT HE NEEDS IS PHOTO OPS.

LIKE, MAYBE HE
SHOULD PLANT SOME TREES.

TREES?
[ chuckles ]

WHY TREES?

OH, RUSSIAN PEOPLE
LIKE TREES, DON'T THEY?

YOU KNOW, IT SHOWS
HE CAN ROLL HIS SLEEVES UP

AND DIG IN AND, YOU KNOW,
HE CARES ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT,

NOT AFRAID TO GET DIRTY,
AND THAT HE LIKES

BEING OUT AMONGST
THE PEOPLE.

NYET...

PAPA DOESN'T LIKE
TO BE AMONG PEOPLE.

HE'S AFRAID
OF BEING BOOED.

AFRAID OF BEING BOOED?

OH, WELL, THAT'S FINE.

YOU KNOW, YOU JUST
GET ADVANCEMENT

TO MAKE SURE THERE ARE
MORE PEOPLE CHEERING
THAN BOOING.

THEY DROWN OUT THOSE BOOS.
THAT'S--

ADVANCEMENT?

PLEASE EXPLAIN
ADVANCEMENT.

ADVANCEMENT.

OKAY. ADVANCEMENT, UH,
GO EVERYWHERE YOU FATHER GOES,

BUT THEY GO THERE FIRST.

LIKE, LET'S SAY HE GOES OUT
TO A PUBLIC PLACE,

LIKE A PARK OR A KINDERGARTEN
OR, YOU KNOW, A FACTORY.

ADVANCEMENT, UH, YOU KNOW,

MAKES SURE THAT THE LOCALS
GET A PAID DAY OFF

AND A YELTSIN POSTER
IN THEIR HANDS.

THEY GREET HIM, YOU KNOW,
WHENEVER HE SHOWS UP.

YOU KNOW, THEY GATHER
A CROWD UP

AND SHOW THEM
WHERE TO STAND,

AND TEACH 'EM HOW TO SPONTANEOUSLY,

SO TO SPEAK, CHEER AND WAVE AND ALL.

THEY GET SOME LOCAL KIDS, OR, IF THEY'RE LUCKY,

A SCHOOL BAND.

YOU KNOW, MAKE IT EXCITING.

NOW, AS FOR THE TREE,
FOR INSTANCE, ADVANCEMENT

THEY PICK THE RIGHT TREE FOR HIM...

NOT TOO BIG THAT HE CAN'T LIFT IT.

NOT TOO MANY BRANCHES--
THEY COVER HIS FACE.

YOU KNOW, AND THEY DIG THE RIGHT HOLE FOR HIM,

PICK THAT PERFECT TREE, ETCETERA, ETCETERA.

SO, ANYWAY, THEIR MAIN JOB,
OF COURSE, IS TO BE

COMPLETELY INCONSPICUOUS,
TO MAKE IT LOOK UNREHEARSED
AND UNPLANNED.

THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT LOOK LARGELY AS IF THEY'RE NOT THERE.

ADVANCEMENT.

[ cheering ]

♪ ALL MY LOVE

♪ ALL MY LOVE, MY DARLING

♪ I WILL GIVE TO YOU

♪ LOVE ME SWEET AND TENDER

[ speaks Russian ]

♪ DARLING, I LOVE YOU

George: HERE WE GO.
HERE WE GO.

AH. AH!

HE DID IT.

[ chuckles ] THE YANKEES
SAY PLANT A TREE,

AND BINGO, THE RULER
OF THE RUSSIAN EMPIRE
PLANTS A TREE!

THIS PARTICULAR BRONZE BOMBER
IS TICKLED PINK.

CONGRATS, COMRADES.DINK.

COMRADE.CONGRATS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK,
DICK, DOES THIS MAKE UP

FOR NOT WRITING
THE STATE OF THE UNION?

WELL, NOT REALLY,
BUT IT'S PRETTY DAMN CLOSE.

[ chuckles ]

OOH, OH! UP THREE POINTS
OVERNIGHT.

HE SHOULD PLANT
MORE TREES.

HE SHOULD?MORE TREES?

YOU WANT HIM TO PLANT
A TREE EVERY DAY?

YES, YES, MORE THAN ONE
IF HE CAN.

IF IT'S NOT PLANTED,
PLANT IT!

[ both laughing ]

YEAH, OH.

SPASIBO.

[ Tatiana speaking Russian ]

Translator: MANY TOP
CAMPAIGN PEOPLE ARE MOVING HERE,

TO THE TENTH FLOOR
BELOW US.

THEY ARE TURNING THEM
INTO CAMPAIGN OFFICES.

DON'T THEY
TRUST US?

OH, NO! NO.

AS WE SAY, SUCCESS
IS CONTAGIOUS.

EVERYONE WANTS
TO BE CLOSE TO US.

AS WE SAY, UH,
SET A MEETING.

NO, NO. NO MEETINGS.
NO MEETINGS!

IT'S TOO RISKY.

THE MORE PEOPLE YOU MEET
CLOSE TO THE PRESIDENT,

THE MORE WE INCREASE
THE RISK OF LEAKS.

FROM NOW ON, ALL YOUR IDEAS
MUST BE IN WRITING

FOR THE PEOPLE DOWNSTAIRS.

BUT-- BUT THE MEMOS
HAVE TO BE SENT

ADDRESSED
"FROM US TO YOU."

NO NAMES.
NO NAMES! SECURITY.

FELIX.

FROM US TO YOU.

UH, BASICALLY,
THE OVERWHELMING MAJORITY

DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR MOTHER
OUT CAMPAIGNING.

RAISA GORBACHEV,
P.R. DISASTER.

HILARY... NO GREAT SHAKES
HERE, EITHER.

WHAT THE NUMBERS DO SUGGEST
IS THEY'D LIKE

TO SEE HER INVOLVED
IN CHARITY WORK.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?

DEPENDS. WHY?

WELL, YOU'D BETTER START.

CHURCH IS TESTING
SUPER HIGH,

HIGHER THAN SHOWBIZ
OR INTELLIGENTSIA.

LET'S RECOMMEND
THE ENDORSEMENT FROM HIM...

TO THEM.

[ honking ]

[ shouting ]

WHAT'S HOLDING THIS UP?
WHAT'S THE DELAY?

THIS IS A MAFIA HIT.

HEAD OF BIG
TELEVISION STATION.

SHOT IN THE HEAD.
MIDDLE OF STREET.

THE BODY'S JUST
LYING THERE.

BLOOD ALL OVER.REALLY?

JOE, YEAH, UH, WHEN WAS
THE LAST TIME WE DID

A "FROM US TO YOU"
ON THE MAFIA?

Y-YES, WE'RE STILL
AGAINST IT.

BORIS SHOULD TAKE
THE STRONGEST POSSIBLE STAND.

BY THE WAY, TELL TATIANA
THERE'S A BIG JOB OPENING
AT A TV STATION.

MAYBE SHE CAN PULL
SOME STRINGS

AND GET SOMEBODY
WHO SUPPORTS BORIS.

YEAH. OKAY.

TRAGIC, ISN'T IT,
THESE PEOPLE?

THEY FOUGHT IN WWII.

THEY WORKED SO HARD
ALL THEIR LIVES,

AND NOW LOOK AT THEM.

THEY'RE FORCED TO SELL
THEIR WAR MEDALS TO SURVIVE.

THAT IS TRAGIC.

YELTSIN'S GOTTA DO SOMETHING
FOR THESE PEOPLE.

YEP, HE SHOULD.

THERE'S NOT MUCH
HE CAN DO.

THE 60+ HAVE EVERY REASON
TO GO COMMIE.

LIFE SAVINGS HAVE BEEN
WIPED OUT BY INFLATION.

THEIR PENSIONS ARE WORTHLESS,
IF THEY GET THEM.

TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
THEY'RE NOT REALLY EQUIPPED
TO COPE WITH CAPITALISM.

I MEAN, THERE'S NOT A LOT WE CAN
SAY TO CHANGE ANY OF THAT.

YOU KNOW, EXCEPT
THAT MAYBE, UH...

YELTSIN AND HIS REFORMS
WILL BE GOOD

FOR THE FUTURE
OF THEIR CHILDREN?

THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.
WE SHOULD TEST THAT.

"VOTE YELTSIN FOR
THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN."

I'M GONNA CALL VASSO.

OH, BROTHER JOE,
BROTHER DICK.

WE'S IN DOUBLE DIGITS, BABY.

[ chuckles ] I GUESS THAT PUTS
US ON TOP OF THE DEMOCRAT PILE.

POOR OLD GURINOVSKI
IS GONNA HAVE

TO PUT OFF
HIS INVASION OF ALASKA.

IT DOESN'T HURT
THAT THE RUSSKY PRESS
DID A COMPLETE U-TURN.

WHEN WE FIRST GOT HERE,
WE COULDN'T FIND
A POSITIVE STORY ON BORIS,

AND NOW WE CAN'T FIND
A NEGATIVE ONE.

THEY CAN SEE
THE NUMBERS.

YELTSIN'S THE ONLY ONE
WHO CAN BEAT ZYUGANOV,

AND, BELIEVE ME, THEY KNOW
WHICH SIDE THEIR BREAD'S
BUTTERED ON.

IF THE COMMUNISTS WIN,
THEIR LITTLE TRYST

WITH FREEDOM
OF THE PRESS IS KAPUT.

YEAH. WHAT A WAY TO RUN
A CAMPAIGN, WITH THE PRESS
IN YOUR POCKET!

ARE WE GOOD,
OR ARE WE GOOD?

I'D SAY
WE ARE VERY GOOD.

PLUS, IT DOESN'T HURT
TO HAVE THE UNLIMITED
RESOURCES OF DON LUGOV.

SALUD.

HERE'S THE DEAL.

I'VE BEEN TRACKING
THIS RUSSIAN COMPANY, LUKOIL.

ON WALL STREET,
IT'S 24 A SHARE,

WHICH IS
WAY, WAY UNDERVALUED

BECAUSE EVERYBODY'S JITTERY
ABOUT THE ELECTION.

YOU SEE, IF BORIS LOSES,
THE COMMUNISTS DEPRIVATIZE

THE OIL INDUSTRY,
AND LUKOIL IS DEAD.

BUT IF HE WINS, PSHEW.

HOW MUCH?

MODEST ESTIMATE?

THE STOCK QUADRUPLES
IN THE FIRST WEEK.

WHOA, BABY.NO SHIT.

OOH.NO SHIT, WOW.

WOW.

SO. ANYBODY
CALLING THEIR BROKERS?

WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS?
FUCK NO.

YEAH. JUST THOUGHT
I'D MENTION IT.

[ bells tolling ]

Joe: WELL, THIS IS FUN.

WE ARE STARING AT
THE VIRTUAL CORPSE OF COMMUNISM.

Dick: I WISH. COMMUNISM'S
ALIVE AND WELL

AND KICKING OUR BUTTS
AT THE POLLS.

PAPA'S TOPPED OUT.

THE COMMIES HAVEN'T
GIVEN UP ANY GROUND.

FUCKING NONE.

WELL, IT WOULD HELP
IF TATIANA WOULD LET US
GO NEGATIVE, GEORGE.

OR IF SHE COULD CONVINCE
THAT PUTZ TO DO SOME TV ADS.

MM, NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
I'VE TALKED TO HER
A BAZILLION TIMES.

I HAVE MET 12-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN
LESS NAIVE THAN HER.

SHE'S NOT NAIVE.

SHE'S, UH,
SHE'S AN IDEALIST.

TOUCHING.

WHATEVER SHE IS,
I JUST HOPE WE CAN CHANGE IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M THINKING?

THIS MIGHT BE
A GOOD TIME

FOR YOU TO CALL
YOUR PAL MORRIS.

WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS?
WHAT FOR?

TATIANA'S NEVER
GONNA CONVINCE PAPA.

WE GOTTA GET
TO HIM SOMEHOW.

WHO'S THE MOST
INFLUENTIAL GUY
YOU KNOW?

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, JOE,
I SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

I'M NOT CALLING MORRIS
FOR ANY FAVORS.

FAVORS? NO, NO, NO.
YOU'D BE DOING HIM
A GREAT BIG FAVOR.

IF RUSSIA SUDDENLY
GOES RED IN JUNE,

HIS GUY'S DEAD IN THE WATER
COME NOVEMBER.

WHY? WHAT?NO. NO.

COME ON, DICK, YOU KNOW
MORRIS OWES YOU.

Receptionist: MR. MORRIS,
DICK DRESNER ON LINE TWO.

DICK! GOOD TO HEAR
FROM YOU, BUDDY.

HOW'S THE WEATHER
IN MOSCOW?

YOU KNOW WHERE I AM?

YEAH, I GOT ME
A MAGIC MIRROR.

LISTEN, BILL THINKS
IT'S EXTRA BITCHING

YOU'RE THERE DOING
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

HE DOES?

WELL... HOW WOULD HE FEEL ABOUT
MAKING A LONG-DISTANCE CALL

TO, UH, LEND
A GENTLE GUIDING HAND TO BORIS

AS HE TAKES HIS FIRST STEPS
TOWARDS DEMOCRACY?

OH, I THINK HE'D
BE TICKLED PINK.

I'LL TELL HIM
WHATEVER YOU WANT.

YOU GIVE ME THE LAUNDRY LIST,
AND I'LL FLUFF AND FOLD.

THEY KNEW WE WERE HERE.
HOW THE HELL DID THEY KNOW?

YOU KNOW, SURE THEY KNEW.

WE WERE DUMB
TO THINK THEY WOULDN'T.

WHEN FELIX SAID
WE WERE "HIGHLY RECOMMENDED,"

HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK
HE MEANT?

[ ding ]

PLEASE. SIT.

PAPA SAID YES.

WE WILL DO
THE TELEVISION ADS.

I DON'T KNOW WHY
HE CHANGED HIS MIND.

HE WAS
SO AGAINST IT.

LET'S FILM YELTSIN
FOR, UH, A COUPLE HOURS

AT A TIME OVER THE COURSE
OF, LIKE, SEVEN DAYS.

UM, MAKE SURE HE'S WELL-RESTED,
LOTS OF REHEARSAL.

WE JUST NEED
FIVE-SECOND SOUND BITES.

UM... YOU KNOW, HE SHOULD
BE WALKING--

WALKING, YOU KNOW,
THROUGH A CROWD,

THROUGH THE WOODS.

OR DANCING.
MAYBE HE'S--

MAYBE HE'S, YOU KNOW,
DANCING ON A STAGE.

[ polka plays ]

[ phone ringing ]

HELLO? HEY, YOU GUYS ARE GOOD,
YOU KNOW, REALLY GOOD.

WHO'S THIS? MY NAME'S DYLAN.
I'M CALLING FROM VIRGINIA.

UH, IF YOU'VE GOT A MINUTE, WE COULD TALK. WON'T TAKE LONG.

OH, JEEZ, I'M SORRY.

THIS ISN'T THE BEST TIME
TO TALK... OR PLACE.

UNDERSTOOD. WE JUST WANT
TO LET YOU KNOW

EVERYONE AT THE COMPANY IS
ROOTING FOR YOU AND YOUR TEAM.

WE ARE, HOWEVER, CONCERNED
ABOUT THE LOSS SCENARIO.

PER OUR SOURCES,
ZYUGANOV HAS COME UP WITH

A SECRET MAXIMUM PLAN
HE'LL IMPLEMENT IF HE WINS.

WE DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS EXACTLY,

BUT IT CAN'T POSSIBLY
BE GOOD FOR US.

SO, GOOD LUCK,
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK,

AND WE'LL BE WATCHING.

[ singing in Russian ]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

CI-FUCKING-A.

IS THERE ANYBODY
WHO DOESN'T KNOW WE'RE HERE?

I'M TELLING YOU,
WHEN I REALIZED

WHO IT WAS, YOU KNOW,
I HAD A HEART ATTACK.

YOU KNOW,
THEY OVERHEAR THAT,

THEY THINK
WE'RE SPIES...

"WE'LL BE WATCHING YOU"?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

HOW? HOW? WATCHING WHAT?

IT'S JUST THE WAY
SPOOKS TALK.

WHAT I WANT TO KNOW
IS WHAT'S THIS SECRET
MAXIMUM PLAN DEAL,

AND HOW COME WE NEVER
HEARD ABOUT THAT?

WOULDN'T BE A SECRET
IF WE'D HEARD ABOUT IT.

I HEAR ABOUT IT.

GIVE ME A DRINK.
I TELL YOU.

HELP YOURSELF. SPASIBO.

A DRUNK ELVIS IMPERSONATOR

TOLD US ABOUT ZYUGANOV'S
SECRET MAXIMUM PLAN.

MM, IN A NUTSHELL,
THE PINKOS WANNA TAKE

THE COUNTRY BACK
TO THE DARK AGES,

OLD USSR BORDERS,

RENATIONALIZED ECONOMY,

AND A VIGOROUS PROSECUTION
OF THE REFORMISTS.

OF COURSE,
IT'S JUST A RUMOR,

BUT RUSSIANS
ARE PRETTY PARANOID.

IF IT LEAKS, ZYUGANOV
MAY LOSE A VOTE OR TWO,

SO WE'VE GOTTA LEAK IT
LIKE CRAZY, OF COURSE.

Receptionist: MR. MORRIS,
IT'S DICK DRESNER.

HEY, DICK, MY GUY'S
HEADED YOUR WAY.

YEAH, WE HAVE
AN OPPORTUNITY HERE.

HE CAN GIVE YOUR GUY
A FEW POINTERS.

NOBODY EVER ACCUSED HIM
OF BEING "SLICK BORIS."

WHATEVER YOU WANT MY GUY TO SAY, HE'LL SAY IT.

SEND A MEMO.

Clinton: FIRST, LET ME THANK
PRESIDENT YELTSIN

FOR INITIATING
AND THEN HOSTING

YESTERDAY'S
NUCLEAR SUMMIT.

IT IS FITTING THAT THIS SUMMIT
WAS HELD IN MOSCOW.

FOR THREE YEARS, THE PRESIDENT
AND I HAVE WORKED TOGETHER

IN TRYING TO MAKE
THE WORLD A SAFER PLACE

BY REDUCING THE NUCLEAR THREAT
THAT ALL OUR CITIZENS FACE.

WE WORK HARD TO TAKE DOWN
THE OLD BARRIERS

TO TRADE
AND TO INVESTMENT.

THANKS TO PRESIDENT YELTSIN'S
LEADERSHIP,

60% OF RUSSIA'S ECONOMY IS NOW IN THE HANDS OF ITS PEOPLE,

NOT THE STATE.

INFLATION HAS BEEN CUT;
DEMOCRACY IS TAKING HOLD.

SINCE 1993, TRADE BETWEEN THE UNITED STATES

AND RUSSIA IS UP 65%,

AND THE U.S. IS NOW THE LARGEST FOREIGN INVESTOR...

"...IN THIS
GREAT NATION."

...IN THIS GREAT NATION.

Joe: HOW'D HE DO?

WELL, LET'S SEE.

HAS TO BE PATIENT
WITH REFORMS, CHECK.

CONGRATULATE
ON THE BEGINNING

OF THE PULLOUT
FROM CHECHNYA, CHECK.

COMPLIMENT ON THE PRIVATIZATION
OF THE ECONOMY, CHECK.

ONE ABOUT ZYUGANOV'S
MAXIMUM PLAN, CHECK.

I MEAN, BULL'S EYE, BOYS.

HE COVERED PRACTICALLY
EVERYTHING IN OUR MEMO.

[ laughing ]

UH, NOTE FOR ANOTHER BOOK:

TWO PRESIDENTS
SELL OUT THE INTERESTS

OF THEIR OWN COUNTRIES

IN ORDER TO GET
EACH OTHER REELECTED.

I WANT A PIECE
OF THAT BOOK.

AMEN.[ phone ringing ]

HELLO? IT'S VASSO.

YEAH. THE NUMBERS ARE WAY UP.

REALLY? I'LL FAX YOU THE DETAILS.

THAT'S GREAT. ALL RIGHT. BYE.

SPASIBO,VASSO.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

PRELIMS ARE STARTING
TO COME IN.

APPARENTLY, THE RUSSIANS
LOVE THE SUMMIT.

PAPA'S NUMBERS ARE UP BIG.

HE AND ZYUGANOV
ARE ALMOST NECK AND NECK.

WOW.CALL ME CRAZY, GUYS,

BUT, UM, WE MAY
ACTUALLY WIN THIS THING.

HI, FRANK?
GEORGE GORTON HERE.YEAH, STAN? DICK DRESNER.

[ chatter ]

UH, NOTHING EVER CHANGES
HERE IN SACRAMENTO.
YOU KNOW THAT.

I'VE, UH, BEEN
ON VACATION.

LOOK, I WANTED
TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT A STOCK.

CALLED, UH, LUKOIL.

THAT'S RIGHT,
LIKE SKYWALKER.

UH, HOW MUCH?

UH, 500.

I'M A LITTLE SHORT
OF CASH, I KNOW.

EVERYTHING I GOT
IN THE ACCOUNT.

OKAY.

GREAT.
THANKS.

[ phones beeping ]

George: WOW, LOOK AT THIS.

SOSKOVETS FINALLY
MAKING AN APPEARANCE.

Dick: WHO ARE
THE OTHER TWO WISE MEN?

THE GUY WITH THE COMBOVER'S
ALEXANDER KORZHAKOV,

FORMER KGB GENERAL AND, UH,
PAPA'S NEW HEAD OF SECURITY.

HE'S, UH, ALSO
HIS MAIN CONFIDANTE,

TENNIS PARTNER,
DRINKING BUDDY.

THE OTHER GUY,
THAT'S MIKHAIL BARSUKOV.

CHIEF OF SECRET POLICE.

YOU'RE
A SCARY MAN, JOE.

NOT AS SCARY AS THOSE GUYS.
WHAT DO THEY WANT WITH US?

I DON'T THINK
THEY'RE COMING TO SEE YOU.

I JUST, UH, THINK THEY'RE
GOING TO THE TENTH FLOOR.

TO SEE THE CAMPAIGN MANAGERS?
WHY? HOW COME?

[ sighs ] WHO IS TO KNOW?

BULLSHIT, FELIX.
YOU IS TO KNOW.

ME? I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING.

OH, YEAH, YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL US, TOO,

OR I'M GONNA MARCH OVER
TO TATIANA'S OFFICE

AND TELL HER THAT YOU'RE
PLOTTING SOMETHING
BEHIND HER BACK.

ENOUGH OF THIS BALONEY.
I WANT THE TRUTH.

WHAT IS GOING ON?

OKAY. OKAY.

SOSKOVETS,
KORZHAKOV, BARSUKOV,

THEY'RE KNOWN
AS THE PARTY OF WAR.

I HOPE THAT'S
A LOOSE TRANSLATION.

NO, NO, NO, THOSE ARE
THE GUYS THAT PUSHED
YELTSIN INTO CHECHNYA.

THAT'S CORRECT.
IF THEY ALL CAME HERE,

THAT MEANS THEY'RE
VERY WORRIED.

WHAT ABOUT?
WE'RE DOING GOOD.

WE'RE KICKING BUTT.

THAT'S WHY
THEY'RE WORRIED.

THEY WANT TO CANCEL
THE ELECTION.

WHAT?
WHAT?

THEY THINK IT'S TOO RISKY
TO HAVE ONE.

BUT YELTSIN'S
PROBABLY GONNA WIN.

THEY DON'T WANT
HIM TO WIN?

NO, THEY WOULD LOVE IT
IF HE WON.

IT'S THE "PROBABLY" PART
THAT THEY CAN'T AFFORD,

BECAUSE,
IF THE COMMUNISTS WIN,

THEY LOSE EVERYTHING--
THEIR POWER,

THEIR STOLEN FORTUNES,
MAYBE THEIR LIVES.

THAT'S WHY THEY WANT
TO CANCEL.

WELL, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
YOU DON'T CANCEL
AN ELECTION.

IT'S NOT
A DENTIST APPOINTMENT.

WAIT A MINUTE.
BACK UP.

SOSKOVETS
HIRED US.

WHY WOULD HE SPEND
ALL THAT MONEY

IF HE JUST WANTED
TO CANCEL?

YELTSIN WORSHIPS
ALL THINGS AMERICAN.

THE PARTY OF WAR ASSUMED
THAT YOU WOULD TAKE ONE LOOK

THE NUMBERS AND CONVINCE HIM
THAT HE HAS NO CHANCE.

PRETTY GOOD ASSUMPTION.

THEY DIDN'T COUNT ON US
TURNING IT AROUND,

THEY DIDN'T COUNT ON
TATIANA GETTING INVOLVED,

AND I BET YOU ANYTHING
THEY DIDN'T COUNT ON
OUR NUMBERS GOING UP.

AND THEY STILL DON'T THINK
WE CAN DO IT.

YOU, MY FRIENDS, HAVE BECOME
A MAJOR NUISANCE FOR THEM.

Dick: AND LUGOV'S
INVOLVED TOO, RIGHT?

OH...THANK YOU, FELIX.
THANKS FOR WARNING US.

I'M SORRY, MY FRIEND.
FOR THOSE PEOPLE...

YOU KNOW, THE KGB
NEVER WENT AWAY.

THEY JUST CHANGED
THE NAME ON THE DOOR.

I WOULD REALLY WATCH
MY BACK IF I WERE YOU.

WHO'S GONNA
WATCH YOURS?

YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO BROUGHT US HERE.

IT WASN'T ME.
I'M JUST A MIDDLE MAN.

TONIGHT, I'M GETTING
ON A PLANE.

BACK TO SAUSALITO.

GOT SOME BUSINESS
TO ATTEND TO.

I'LL BET.

George: SUCH BULLSHIT.

WE WERE HIRED
TO DUMP THE ELECTION!

I-IT'S LIKE OLIVER STONE.
PHOOEY.

SOSKOVETS SAID
IT HIMSELF.

"IF YOU THINK
HE'LL LOSE, LET US KNOW
SO WE CAN TAKE STEPS."

IT MAKES
PERFECT SENSE, GEORGE.

WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE UP TO,
BUT WE'RE PROFESSIONALS.

WE'RE AMERICAN CITIZENS.
IF THEY WANNA TAKE STEPS,
LET 'EM.

WELL, THAT'S GREAT,
GEORGE. IN CASE
YOU HADN'T NOTICED,

THEY'RE CALLED
THE PARTY OF WAR,

NOT THE PARTY OF PEACE
OR FRIENDSHIP OR BROTHERHOOD.

PARTY OF WAR!

I THINK THAT'S A NICKNAME.

YEAH, LIKE SON OF SAM
IS A NICKNAME.

I SAY WE GET
THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.

DICK, DICK, THIS IS HISTORY
IN THE MAKING!

WE'RE RIGHT SMACK
IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.

IT'S OUR BIG COMEBACK,
AND AS LONG AS THE NUMBERS
ARE CLIMBING,

THE PARTY OF WAR
HAS NO CARDS.

IF THE NUMBERS
STOP CLIMBING...

IF THEY STOP, WE DUMP LUKOIL
AND RUN AS FAST AS WE CAN.

AS LONG AS WE KEEP SHOWING
YELTSIN GOOD NUMBERS,

THEY HAVE NO CHOICE
BUT TO STAY BEHIND US.

WHICH IS WHERE THEY'RE
GONNA HAVE TO BE

TO DO WHAT THEY'RE
GONNA DO TO US.

LOOK AT THIS.

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL.

"MOSCOW MYSTERY.

"GOP CIRCLES SWIRL
WITH THE RUMOR

"THAT CALIFORNIA
GOVERNOR WILSON'S

"FORMER CAMPAIGN MANAGER,
GEORGE GORTON,

IS HELPING YELTSIN'S
PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN
IN RUSSIA."

MM. THAT'S WHAT RUMORS DO.
THEY SWIRL.

CALL THE WALL STREET
JOURNAL.

CALL THEM AND SAY
IT'S NOT TRUE.

NO. CAN'T DO THAT.
NEVER LIE TO THE PRESS.

YOU MISLEAD THEM.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND
THAT IF THIS BREAKS
IN MOSCOW,

THEN YOU'LL BE GONE
IN THREE SECONDS,

AND YELTSIN WILL
DENY YOUR EXISTENCE.

WHAT DO YOU
MEAN, "DENY"?

GONE, UH,
GONE HOW?

WELL, GONE, UNLESS
YOU FIND A WAY

TO CONTROL
AMERICAN PRESS.

CONTROL THE
AMERICAN PRESS?

SURE, PIECE
OF CAKE, ANDREI.

[ phone ringing ]

YEAH.

DICK, THAT YOU?

WHO'S THIS?

I'LL BE DAMNED,
IT IS YOU.

WHAT YOU DOING
IN MOSCOW, DICK?

CALL ME BACK
ON MY CELL.

COME HERE.
COME HERE, COME HERE.

WHAT?

OKAY.

HERE'S THE BAD NEWS FIRST.

MICHAEL KRAMER
HAS TRACKED US DOWN.

OHH...
WHAT?

TIME MAGAZINE?

LOOK, I'VE KNOWN KRAMER
FOR A LONG TIME.

HE MUST'VE READ THAT PIECE
IN THE JOURNAL

AND FIGURED I WAS
IN MOSCOW, TOO.FOR GOD'S SAKE...

BUT HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS.
HE MAY BE WILLING TO MAKE
A DEAL WITH US.

TH-THAT'S
THE GOOD NEWS?

WE CAN'T
TALK TO HIM!

LUGOV FINDS OUT,
THEN IT'S GOOD-BYE,

GONE, WE'RE DENIED
OUR EXISTENCE.

HE NEVER DID SAY
HOW WE'D BE GOING--

BY LAND, BY SEA,
OR BY BULLET.

IF WE DON'T DEAL
WITH HIM,

HE'S GONNA DIG AROUND
ON HIS OWN,

HE'S GONNA TELL
THE STORY ANYWAY,

AND WE'RE REALLY
GONNA BE SCREWED.

WELL, I GUESS
THIS IS IT, THEN.

WE GET OUT NOW.

WE GET OUR PASSPORTS
SOMEHOW AND...

[ sighs ] THAT'S IT.

FLEE.

KRAMER DID MENTION
THE COVER.

THE COVER
OF TIME MAGAZINE.

MM-HMM.

I SAY WE--BETTER MEET
WITH HIM.

TOMORROW,
YEAH.

SO, THE, UH...

WE'RE GONNA GO ON
A LITTLE WALK.

ALONE? NYET.
NOT ADVISED.

NO, NO, NO.
WE'LL BE OKAY.

THANK YOU.
THANKS ANYWAY.

DON'T HEAR
ANY GUNFIRE.

WE COULD'VE BEEN
GOING OUT EVERY NIGHT!

HEY, THERE HE IS.
THERE HE IS.

JESUS.

BE CASUAL
AND DON'T STAND
IN OUR WAY.

HEY, GUYS.WHY IS HE STANDING UP?

DEMONSTRATING
CASUAL.

A, UH, LITTLE
CALIFORNIA DREAMING?

LISTEN, WE GOT FIVE MINUTES.

WE'RE UNDER STRICT ORDERS
NOT TO TALK TO THE MEDIA.

OH, THAT MUST BE
PAINFUL FOR YOU.

OOH, WHAT?
WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?

DAH DAH DAH!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?WHAT?

WE'RE BEING WATCHED.

BY WHO?

THE CIA, THE KGB,
THE SECRET POLICE,

THE MAFIA, THE COMMUNISTS,
THE CAPITALISTS,

PARTY OF WAR, EVEN
OUR OWN BODYGUARDS. EVERYONE.

THEY'RE ALL
WATCHING YOU?

YEAH, IT'S
A THEORY, YEAH.

NOW, GIVE IT BACK.

UNDER THE TABLE.
UNDER THE TABLE.

OKAY, LOOK, I'M GONNA
NEED EVERYTHING, OKAY?

THE DATES, THE WHOS,

THE HOWS,
THE HOW OFTENS.

WELL, FIRST YOU
GOTTA GUARANTEE US

THAT YOU'RE NOT
GONNA RUN ANYTHING

UNTIL AFTER
THE ELECTION,
OR WE'RE DEAD MEAT.

ARE YOU SURE THERE'S
GONNA BE AN ELECTION?

HELL, YEAH.
WE'LL MAKE SURE THERE'S ONE.

AND WE'RE GONNA WIN.

IF WE DON'T,
WE'LL GIVE YOU

SIX BULLET POINTS
AS TO WHY WE DIDN'T.

YOU GUYS ARE AWARE
THAT THE UNIVERSE SPINS

WITHOUT YOUR INPUT,
AREN'T YOU?

DICK SAID YOU
MENTIONED THE COVER.

UH, YEAH,
THAT DEPENDS.

ON WHAT?

ON WHAT?

I WANT AN EXCLUSIVE.

OKAY. DONE.ALL RIGHT.

WHAT ELSE?
SECOND OF ALL?

AND I NEED VERIFICATION.
I MEAN, NO OFFENSE,

BUT I CAN'T RUN THE STORY
ON JUST YOUR SAY-SO.

WHAT? WHAT KIND
OF VERIFICATION?

I WANT TO SEE YOUR OFFICES
AT THE PRESIDENT.

Joe: NO, NO.
FORGET IT, NO.

REMIND ME TO LAUGH
AT THAT ONE LATER.

MICHAEL, MICHAEL, WE'RE SCARED
TO BE THERE OURSELVES.

YOU KNOW WHAT
THEY'D DO TO US

IF THEY CAUGHT US
SNEAKING IN A REPORTER?NO, WHAT?

ACTUALLY, WE DON'T
KNOW, EITHER.

IT'S NOT GOOD.

HEY, LOOK, GUYS,
I BELIEVE YOU.

OKAY, I REALLY DO.
I BELIEVE YOU GUYS.

BUT IT'S VERY SIMPLE--
NO PROOF, NO PUDDING.

NOW, UH, CAN WE, UH--

THIS GUY'S
A FRIEND OF OURS.

HI.MIKE, IF YOU CAN JUST--

YOU KNOW "FRIEND"?

FRIEND, HOW DO YOU SAY
"FRIEND" PORRUSSKY?

DROOG.

YEAH, I THINK THAT'S WHAT THEY
SAID IN CLOCKWORK ORANGE.

YEAH, KUBRICK.
DA. DA. DA. DROOG.

VERY NICE.OH, HE SPEAKS-- AND YOU
SPEAK A LITTLE ENGLISH!

[ ding ]

[ phone ringing ]

HELLO.

COME ON UP.
COAST IS CLEAR.

HERE WE COME.

[ beep ]

SHIT! MAYDAY.
MAYDAY.

[ phone ringing ]

ABORT. ABORT.
STAY DOWN THERE.

WHAT?

[ ding ]

TATIANA.

SAY HI
TO THE WORLD, GUYS.

WE'RE GREAT IN THE CITIES,
FIVE OR SIX SOLID OVER ZYUGANOV.

IN THE COUNTRYSIDE,
HE'S HOLDING GROUND.

WE'RE NOT GAINING ANY.

UH-HUH.

IT'S OKAY.
I CAN UNDERSTAND.

UM, IDEAS?

TATIANA, YOUR ENGLISH!
SO GOOD. COMING ALONG, HUH?

MM-HMM.

GIVE IDEAS, PLEASE.

OKAY, UM...

WELL, THE, UH, PEASANTS
ARE UNHAPPY.

UM, WE SHOULD GIVE
THEM SOMETHING.

WE ALREADY GAVE THEM
DEMOCRACY.

Dick: RIGHT. WELL, NOW WE
GOTTA GIVE THEM SOMETHING
WITH FEWER SYLLABLES.

WE WERE
THINKING LAND.

HERE WE ARE,
IN A SUPPOSEDLY
FREE-MARKET ECONOMY,

AND, UH, THE LAND STILL
BELONGS TO THE STATE.

THAT'S GOTTA PISS
THE PEASANTS OFF.

PAPA TRIED MANY TIMES
TO GIVE OFF LAND,

BUT DUMA, OUR CONGRESS,
DOESN'T WANT TO PASS IT.

FIND A WAY
TO GET IT PASSED.

WHATEVER'S STALLING IT,
GET IT UNSTALLED.

[ horse whinnies ]

[ squealing ]

[ rooster crows ]

[ bleating ]

I'M OUTSIDE
THE SERVICE AREA.

NO WONDER
THE PEOPLE ARE UNHAPPY.

MAYBE WE SHOULD DO
THE FOCUS GROUP OVER THERE.

IT'S THE ONLY BUILDING
THAT'S BIG ENOUGH.

NO, IT'S PERFECT.
A BARN.

WHERE ELSE ARE YOU
GONNA FOCUS A 20-HOUSE,

ONE-WATER-PUMP VILLAGE?

WE'RE BREAKING
NEW GROUND, BOYS.

[ thunder rumbles ]

[ speaking Russian ]

WHAT THE HELL
DO I NEED THIS LAND?

I NEED A TRACTOR
AND SEEDS.

THEN MAYBE I WOULD
WANT THE LAND.

WHY, WHY WOULD YOU
WANT THE LAND?

YOU CAN'T EVEN
FIX OUR CHIMNEY.

NO ONE NEEDS THIS LAND.

WE NEED MONEY.

WE NEED
OUR SALARIES BACK.

THEY DON'T WANT THE LAND.

BUT IT'S NOT AS HARD
AS BEFORE,

AS DURING THE WAR.

AT LEAST NO ONE'S
TRYING TO KILL US.

...CHECHNYA!

YES, THEY ARE,
IN CHECHNYA.

GETTING OUR BOYS KILLED
IN CHECHNYA!

OH. SO MUCH FOR SWINGING
THE RURAL VOTE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
UH, GET VASSO IN HERE.

THERE'S ONE MORE QUESTION
I'D LIKE TO ASK.

THE LAST QUESTION.

IF ZYUGANOV WINS,
WILL THERE BE BLOODSHED?

UH, OR A CIVIL WAR?

NYET.

NO. NO WAR.
BLOODSHED.

AND WHY NOT?

THE COMMUNISTS
ALWAYS BROUGHT WAR.

THEY'LL KILL EVERYONE.

EXCEPT US.

WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING.

THEY'LL KILL THE RICH.

THEN THE RICH WILL HIRE
PEOPLE TO KILL COMMUNISTS.

GOD FORBID
THE COMMUNISTS WIN.

THE LAST THING WE NEED
IS ANOTHER WAR.

BINGO.

THAT'S IT.

IT'S CIVIL UNREST,
STUPID.

TATIANA, TATIANA!

WE HAVE FIVE WEEKS LEFT.

WE GOTTA GO NEGATIVE.

NOT ONLY NEGATIVE,
DOUBLE NEGATIVE.

WE HAVE TO HIT HARD,
CREATE A DRUMBEAT.

WAR IS AN OVERWHELMING FEAR
IN THIS COUNTRY.

UH, WE GOTTA LET 'EM KNOW
THAT'S EXACTLY

WHAT THEY HAVE TO EXPECT
IF THE COMMUNISTS WIN.

CIVIL UNREST. BLOODSHED.
MILLIONS WILL DIE.

THAT'S THE MESSAGE.

BUT WE DON'T KNOW
IF IT'S TRUE.

IN THIS BUSINESS,
TRUE IS SOMETIMES, UH, NOT.

YOU WANT TRUE TRUE, GO HOME
AND SING YOUR KIDS TO SLEEP,

BUT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW,
THE ONLY TRUE IS

WE GOTTA SCARE THE CRAP
OUT OF EVERYBODY,
OR WE'RE PROBABLY GONNA LOSE.

YOU KNOW, OUR ONLY HOPE IS
THAT IN THE BATTLE

BETWEEN SOMEBODY THEY HATE
AND SOMEBODY THEY FEAR,

THE VOTERS WILL HOPEFULLY
CHOOSE SOMEONE THEY HATE.

YOUR FATHER.

NO.

NO!

MY FATHER STILL
HAS... DIGNITY,

AND WE CANNOT STOOP--!

[ speaks Russian ]TO THAT LEVEL.

DA.WE CANNOT STOOP
TO THAT LEVEL.

CLINTON, BUSH, REAGAN,
THEY ALL STOOPED
TO THAT LEVEL.

THAT'S THE NAME
OF THE GAME, TATIANA.

EVERYBODY KNOWS IT,
EVERYBODY PLAYS IT.

EVERYBODY STOOPS!

MR. GORTON, IN THIS GROUP
YOU DO SUGGESTIONS,

AND I DO DECISIONS,

AND MY DECISION
IS NO.

♪ LOVE ME SWEET AND TENDER

♪ DARLING...

SHE'S NOT STOOPING?
THAT'S HER ANSWER?

"I WILL NOT--" SHE
ACTUALLY SAID THAT?

"I WILL NOT STOOP"?

THAT'S RIGHT.
NO STOOPING FOR THAT GIRL.

NO, SIR.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S A--
MAYBE IT'S A THING.

HOW'S THAT, GEORGE?
WHAT DO WE DO, SPIN IT?

"VOTE YELTSIN, FOR HE
WILL NOT STOOP"?

[ chuckles ]

THEY HAVE A CULTURE HERE,
YOU KNOW, HISTORY,

A WAY OF DOING THINGS.

MAYBE NOT STOOPING IS--
IS PART OF IT.

YOU KNOW, WHO ARE WE
TO COME IN AND TELL THEM
WHAT TO DO?

IT'S NOT OUR COUNTRY.
WHY ARE WE MESSING WITH IT?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT,
"NOT OUR COUNTRY," GEORGE?

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE
RUSSIA'S SNOW WHITE

AND WE'RE
THE EVIL STEPMOTHER.

NO, WE'RE
UNCLE SAM.

DAMN STRAIGHT, SAM I AM,
AND PROUD OF IT.

I MEAN, DEMOCRACY IS
OUR BIGGEST EXPORT.

BUT THAT DOESN'T GIVE US
THE RIGHT TO MANIPULATE

AND CORRUPT
THEIR POLITICAL PROCESS.

CORRUPT? JESUS, GEORGE,

WHEN DID YOU TURN
INTO RALPH NADER?

THESE PEOPLE DON'T NEED ANY HELP
CORRUPTING THEIR PROCESS.

AS FAR AS I CAN SEE,
THEY'VE MANAGED THAT
ALL BY THEMSELVES.

AM I RIGHT, ELVIS?

THAT'S RIGHT.
VERY RIGHT.

BORIS MARCHES
AROUND,

SAYS ALL THE BACK WAGES
GOT REPAID,

AND I SAY BULLSHIT!
BULLSHIT, BORIS!

JUST A MINUTE.

I DON'T REMEMBER LAST TIME
I GOT PAYCHECK.

AND MOST PEOPLE I KNOW,
THE SAME-- ZERO.

Dick: WHAT ABOUT
THAT FARM RELIEF MONEY?
WHERE'D THAT GO?

I'LL TELL YOU
WHERE: STOLEN.

NEATLY DIVIDED
BETWEEN YELTSIN'S
DRINKING BUDDIES.

COME ON.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,

WATERGATE WAS PRESCHOOL
COMPARED TO THIS PLACE.

GUYS, FORGET ABOUT RUSSIA.
WE HAVE A MUCH BIGGER PROBLEM.

IF WE DO NOT GO NEGATIVE,
THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL

THAT WE'RE GONNA
CATCH ZYUGANOV.

WHAT ARE YOU
SUGGESTING?

I MEAN, UH...

IXNAY ON THE UKOIL-LAY?

I THINK THAT'D BE
THE PRUDENT THING TO DO.

WE DOUBLED OUR ONEY-MAY.
LET'S NOT GET REEDY-GAY.

YEAH, ALL OF IT.IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH
OF A LOSS, WE SHOULD LET IT GO.

SELL THE WHOLE THING,
IF YOU WILL.

[ phone conversations
continue indistinctly ]

I GOTTA CALL YOU BACK.LISTEN, I GOTTA GO.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

THIS IS BAD.
THIS IS VERY BAD.

WHAT'S BAD?
WHAT'S VERY BAD?

BORIS NIKOLAYEVICH
IS MISSING.

Dick: WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
MISSING? IS HE DEAD?

WHO IS TO KNOW?

ALL HIS MEETINGS
ARE CANCELED.

TATIANA DOESN'T
RETURN MY CALLS.

WELL--ANOTHER DAY'S TOPIC.

GIVE US A MINUTE.
WE'LL FIND OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON, LISA.

[ door slams ]

OKAY. THANK YOU.

LUGOV IS UNAVAILABLE.

[ beep ]

BRAYNIN'S NUMBER IN SAUSALITO
HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED.

THE NET IS FLOODED WITH RUMORS,
NOTHING CONFIRMED.

[ phone ringing ]

YEAH?

YEAH, UH, H-HANG ON
ONE SECOND.

YEAH, ONE SECOND.

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

IT'S THE CIA.
THEY WANT TO KNOW
IF YELTSIN'S ALIVE.

WHAT? WHAT KIND OF FREAKIN'
SPIES ARE THEY?OH, JESUS.

IT'S THEIR JOB TO KNOW.I CAN'T TELL THEM
WE DON'T KNOW.

WE'RE YELTSIN'S
PERSONAL CONSULTANTS.

THEY'LL THINK
I'M HIDING SOMETHING.

OR THEY'RE GONNA THINK
WE'RE IDIOTS.

[ phone ringing ]YOU KNOW...

I DON'T WANT THESE GUYS
ON OUR ASS.
HELLO.

RICHARD! UH-HUH, YEAH.

NO, NO, NICE TO HEAR
YOUR VOICE, TOO.

UH-HUH. JUST A--
CAN YOU--

Morris.How do you know?

COULD YOU JUST GIVE ME
A-A SECOND? YEAH. YEAH.

RICHARD MORRIS WANTS TO KNOW
WHERE YELTSIN IS.

WHAT DO I TELL HIM?

[ phone ringing ]

Not that we
don't know.

GOTTA TELL HIM
SOMETHING.

HELLO?

HI, MIKE, YEAH.
YEAH, WE WERE ACTUALLY

JUST TALKING ABOUT
THAT OURS--

MIKE, COULD YOU HOLD ON
ONE SECOND, PLEASE?

IT'S KRAMER. HE WANTS
TO KNOW ABOUT YELTSIN.

WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO?

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
WE CAN DO.

REMEMBER THE THING WE DID
IN IOWA THAT TIME?

NO, NO. GEORGE.
NO, NO, NO. NO, GEORGE--

ONE, TWO, THREE.

YEAH, DICK.
UH-HUH.

HI, MIKE, I'M BACK.

YEAH. WELL, LOOK, YOU KNOW,
APPARENTLY EVERYBODY--

HELLO? HELLO?

I'M SORRY,
WE'RE BREAKING UP.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU. WHAT?

OH, FOR GOD'S SAKES,
THIS DAMN BATTERY.

DAMN BATTERY.
MIKE, HELLO?

I REALLY-- I CAN'T--
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

I THINK WE GOT
A DEAD BATTERY OR SOMETHING.

JEEZ, I'M SO SORRY.
I'M GONNA LOSE YOU.

I'LL CALL YOU.
I'LL CALL YOU.

OKAY, I'LL
CALL YOU BACK.

[ speaking Russian
over loudspeaker ]

PAPA HAD INFARCT.

PAPA HAD WHAT?

HEART ATTACK.
INFARCT.

TATIANA, I'M SO SORRY.
IS HE-- IS GONNA BE--?

IT WAS MILD.

HE WILL MAYBE LIVE.

PROBABLY.

BUT WE DON'T KNOW IF HE
CAN CAMPAIGN ANYMORE.

SO. WHAT DO WE DO?

HOW DO WE SPIN THIS?

Dick: WELL, I THINK
THE FIRST THING THAT WE DO

IS WE KILL THE RUMORS,
AND WE KILL THEM FAST.

WE SAY THAT, UH, PAPA'S
BEEN CAMPAIGNING VERY HARD,

AND HE NEEDS A REST.

YEAH. STAY AWAY FROM
THE FLU AND COLD STUFF.

EVERYONE KNOWS
THAT'S RUSSIAN CODE
FOR DEATHBED.

Dick: I GOTTA TELL YOU,
IT MIGHT NOT BE ENOUGH.

THERE'S FIVE WEEKS TO GO,
AND ZYUGANOV AND HIS GOONS

ARE ON EVERY CORNER
WAVING A RED FLAG.

HIS LEAD IS TINY,
BUT IT'S HOLDING.

WE CAN'T AFFORD TO HAVE
EMPTY AIRWAVES.

THEY WILL NOT
BE EMPTY.

WE'RE GOING NEGATIVE.

ADS, SLOGANS,
TRUTH SQUADS.

I WANT EVERYTHING.

LET'S MAKE THE DRUM BEAT.

[ phone ringing ]

WOW, WHEN DID
THAT HAPPEN?

WHAT?

SHE'S A, UH,
SHE BECAME...

A POLITICIAN.

[ man narrating ]

DON'T BLAME ME.
BLAME CAPITALISM.

WHAT DOES
THAT MEAN?

RUSSIAN FOR "BULLSHIT."

George: DICK, WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.

VASSO, WHY WON'T YOU GIVE US
THE LATEST POLL?

DID YOU SELL IT
TO SOMEBODY ELSE?

I NEITHER CONFIRM
NOR DENY.

WHO IS TO KNOW?

YOU KNOW, I'VE HAD
ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT.

GIVE US OUR FUCKING POLL.Joe: LOOK, VASSO,

YOU DON'T GIVE US THE POLL,
WE DON'T GIVE YOU THE MONEY.

THINK YOU KNOW SO MUCH,
DO YOU, GENTLEMEN?

YOU THINK YOU CAN COME HERE
AND PLAY US LIKE SOME BASEBALL?

WELL, PARDON MY ENGLISH,
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT.

THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.
WE DO KNOW SHIT.

LIKE, FOR EXAMPLE,
THAT YOU'RE FULL OF IT.

OH, THE YANKEE ARROGANCE.

THIS IS PRECISELY WHY YOU'RE
SO DESPISED EVERYWHERE.

NOW, STEP ASIDE.
YOU'RE BLOCKING THE SHOW.

George: WHAT DO YOU THINK,
IT'S THE COMMIES?

IT'S THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH,
AND THEY'RE GETTING DESPERATE?

Joe: VASSO'D NEVER
SELL OUT TO THEM.

HE MAY BE GREEDY,
BUT HE'S NOT INSANE.

WHAT ABOUT THE CHECHENS?
THEY'D DO ANYTHING
TO SABOTAGE BORIS.

DOUBT IT. HE'S TOO PATRIOTIC
TO DEAL WITH THE ENEMY.

YOU FIGURE HE'S OUT
15 GRAND FOR THE POLLS,

AND NOW HE'S WALKING
AWAY FROM OUR 60.

HE'S GOTTA BE DEALING
WITH SOMEBODY.

COME ON, GUYS,
IT'S OBVIOUS.

IT'S GOT THE FINGERPRINTS
OF THE PARTY OF WAR ALL OVER IT.

FRONT PAGE.
THAT IS POLL.

YELTSIN IS BEHIND ZYUGANOV
BY 20 POINTS.

WHAT? THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
YELTSIN'S AHEAD.

MR. SHUMATE, HOW CAN
YOU BE SO SURE?

BECAUSE IT'S SCIENCE.
YELTSIN'S AHEAD
BY THREE POINTS.

NOT ACCORDING
TO VASSO'S POLL.

LOOK, WE KNOW THAT
THE PARTY OF WAR

PAID VASSO NOT TO GIVE US
THAT POLL.

THEN THEY PRINT
THIS 20 POINTS CRAP.

IT'S BULLSHIT.

WHAT IF THREE POINTS
IS NOT ENOUGH?

WHAT IF MARGIN OF ERROR JUMPS UP
AND BITES US IN THE ASS?

THEN WHAT?THEN NOTHING.

UP OR DOWN, ZYUGANOV
AND YELTSIN ARE ONLY
A FEW POINTS APART.

NO ONE'S GOING OVER 50.

THERE'S GONNA BE
A RUNOFF.

YOU THINK, BUT YOU CAN'T
GUARANTEE IT, HUH?

ANDREI, THAT'S DEMOCRACY.
NO GUARANTEES.

THAT'S KIND OF
THE WHOLE IDEA.

GEORGE. GEORGE,
THAT'S YOUR COUNTRY,

BECAUSE IN YOUR COUNTRY,

IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHO WINS OR LOSES.

THE NEXT MORNING
THEY FIND EACH OTHER
ON THE SAME TALK SHOW.

THE ELECTION,
IT WILL BE CANCELED.

WE UNDERSTAND THAT.

THE PARTY OF WAR WILL
CONVINCE PAPA TO CANCEL.

TWENTY POINTS BEHIND,
HE WILL LISTEN.

WELL, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO
CONVINCE HIM OTHERWISE
THROUGH TATIANA.

I DON'T THINK SO.
YOU WILL DO JUST OPPOSITE.

YOU WILL TELL HER
HER FATHER CANNOT WIN.

NO, NO. NO. WE DON'T LIE
TO THE EMPLOYER.

GEORGE, I'M NOT ASKING YOU.
I'M TELLING YOU.

ARE YOU
THREATENING US?

IF YELTSIN LOSES,
WHOSE BALLS WILL BE
CUT FIRST, HUH?

MINE!

[ speaks Russian ]

IT WAS MY STUPID IDEA
TO BRING YOU HERE TO RUSSIA!

RUSSIA DOESN'T NEED TO IMPORT
ALL AMERICAN POLITICAL TRICKS.

OH, THIS HAND-SHAKING,
BABY-KISSING STUFF!

HEY, HEY! IT'S BETTER
TO KISS THE BABIES
THAN SHOOT THE FATHERS.

GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN,
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN

JUST LOSE THE ELECTION FOR US
AND THEN, UH,

GO BACK TO SACRAMENTO, HUH?

THINK ONE MORE TIME.

I KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU.

THIS IS GREAT.
AMERICAN CONSULTANTS

COME TO RUSSIA
AND DESTROY DEMOCRACY!

THIS IS GONNA LOOK
LIKE SHIT ON NIGHTLINE.

I-I THINK I HEAR
A VERY FAT WOMAN

SINGING SOMEWHERE
IN THE DISTANCE.

I'M GLAD YOU GOT A SENSE
OF HUMOR ABOUT THIS, JOE,
SINCE THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

HOW DO YOU GET
THAT IT'S MY FAULT?

I'M SORRY.
EXPLAIN THAT TO ME.

YOU SAID, "COME ON,
THIS'LL BE THE BIGGEST ELECTION
IN THE HISTORY OF DEMOCRACY!"

I ANSWERED THE PHONE, DICK.
I PICKED UP THE TELEPHONE.

I-I SEEM TO REMEMBER THE
WORDS HOTTER THAN WILDFIRE?

DOES ANY OF THAT RING
A BELL TO YOU?

I WAS BORED. I WAS BORED,
AND I WANTED TO GET OUT OF HERE
SINCE THE MINUTE WE LANDED,

BUT YOU, MR. BIG MOUTH,
YOU TALKED ME OUT OF IT.

'CAUSE YOU GOT, LIKE,
BOOK-DEAL FAIRIES
RUNNING AROUND IN YOUR HEAD.

THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO BICKER
AND ARGUE ABOUT WHO KILLED WHO.

NO, WE GOT PLENTY OF TIME
TO DO THAT ON THE WAY HOME.
LET'S GO PACK.

PACK? WE HAVE A TATIANA MEETING
IN TEN MINUTES.

WHY DON'T YOU GO
AND KISS HER GOOD-BYE?

SLIP HER THE TONGUE
IF THE SPIRIT MOVES YOU.

WHAT ARE WE
GONNA TELL HER?

NOTHING! WE TELL HER
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

"GOOD LUCK CANCELING
THE ELECTION." THAT'S IT.

THERE'S A PLANE LEAVING
IN TWO HOURS.

I SAY WE'RE ON IT.

COME ON, GUYS, WE GOTTA
BE UNANIMOUS ON THIS.

IT'S, YOU KNOW,
THE SAFE THING TO DO.

GEORGE?

YEAH, I'M UNANIMOUS.

YOU HAVE SEEN
THE POLL?

TWENTY POINTS?

WHAT DO YOU
ADVISE WE DO?

THERE'S ONLY
ONE THING TO DO.

WE CANCEL ELECTION,
RIGHT?

NO. FIRE GENERAL KORZHAKOV,

FIRE BARSUKOV,
FIRE SOSKOVETS.

GET RID OF
THE WHOLE PARTY OF WAR.

THEY BOUGHT THE REAL POLL
FROM VASSO

AND RELEASED
A FAKE INSTEAD.

WHAT? ARE YOU
ACCUSING OUR--

THEY DON'T WANT THIS ELECTION,
TATIANA, AND THEY NEVER DID.

TELL YOUR FATHER
HE'S GONNA WIN.

IT'S IN THE BAG.
I GUARANTEE IT.

A MEMO TO THAT EFFECT IS GONNA
BE ON YOUR DESK TOMORROW.

EXCUSE ME.

WHEN WAS IT, GEORGE?
EXACTLY WHEN WAS IT?

WHEN DID YOU LOSE
YOUR MIND?

DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOU
JUST PITTED US AGAINST

SOME OF THE MOST POWERFUL
CRIMINALS IN RUSSIA?!

TELL ME THIS
IS NOT HAPPENING.

TELL ME YOU DID NOT
JUST GUARANTEE A WIN.

WELL, WHY NOT?
HE'S GONNA WIN BY THREE.
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID.

I DON'T KNOW SHIT, GEORGE!
I SAID IT, I DON'T WANT
TO DIE FOR IT.

A GUARANTEE?
OH, GOD.

ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR MIND?

THAT IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING
NO-NO OF CONSULTING,

AND YOU UP AND-- YOU--
YOU JUST GIVE IT TO THEM

WITHOUT EVEN ASKING
US FIRST.

PINCH ME, GEORGE,
BEFORE I THROW YOU OFF
THIS FUCKING BALCONY.

I DIDN'T ASK YOU FIRST
'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,

I COULDN'T BELIEVE
I WAS DOING IT MYSELF,

BUT IT'S EITHER THAT
OR, YOU KNOW, THAT'S IT.
IT'S OVER.

SO, WHAT?
IT'S JUST A GIG!

FOR US, YEAH,
BUT FOR RUSSIA?

THOSE TWITS GET
THE ELECTION CANCELED,
AND WHO KNOWS?

ZYUGANOV-- CAN YOU
BLAME HIM-- RETALIATES.

HALF THE ARMY SUPPORTS
HIM ALREADY.

CIVIL WAR HERE AIN'T
GONNA BE CIVIL.

EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN
SCARING THEM ABOUT

IN THE ADS,
THAT'S GONNA BE REALITY.

IN THE U.S., YOU DON'T THINK
WE'RE GONNA GET SCREWED?

EVEN NOW, THESE A-HOLES
HAVE NO CLUE

WHERE THEY KEEP
THEIR A-BOMBS.

CAN YOU IMAGINE IF
ANARCHY SUDDENLY RULES?

JESUS, TALK ABOUT
THE NEW WORLD ORDER.
WELL, WE CAN'T ALLOW IT.

SOMEBODY HAS TO STAND UP
AND THROW THE TEA IN THE HARBOR.GEORGE. GEORGE! GEORGE!

AND SAY NO, WE WON'T GO GENTLY
INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT.GEORGE! GEORGE! GEORGE!

WE ARE POLITICAL CONSULTANTS.
THAT'S IT.

WE ARE PAID BY THE CLIENT
TO PREDICT POLLS. THAT'S IT!

THAT'S RIGHT,
WE'RE ALWAYS BACKSTAGE,

UNDER THE TABLE,
IN THE SHADOWS.

YOU KNOW, WE'RE NEVER
GONNA GET ELECTED

OR IMPEACHED OR SACKED
IN THE END ZONE.

WE'RE NOT RICH ENOUGH,

WE'RE NOT THOROUGHBRED
ENOUGH.

WE'RE BEHIND THE SCENES.
WE'RE THE MAKING OF.

LET'S FACE IT.IS THAT IT, GEORGE?

YOU WANNA GET SACKED
IN THE END ZONE,

IS THAT IT?

JUST ONCE THAT'D BE,
YOU KNOW, BEAUTIFUL, YEAH.

YOU KNOW THAT
IF YELTSIN'S LOSES,

LUGOV'S GONNA HAVE US KILLED.
YOU REALIZE THAT, RIGHT?

I KNOW. THAT'S WHY YOU GUYS
HAVE TO TAKE OFF ON OUT OF HERE.

[ laughing ]

YOU-- YOU ARE REALLY
SOMETHING, GEORGE.

I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY,
I HAD TO DO IT.

NO, NO, I MEAN,
YOU KNOW...

HERE DICK AND I
DO ALL THE WORK,

AND YOU WANT
TO STICK AROUND
BY YOURSELF

TO TAKE
ALL THE CREDIT.

IN YOUR WET DREAMS, PAL.

I FORGET, HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU
THAT YOU'RE BOTH ASSHOLES?

HAS HE?

YEAH.YEAH.

YOU HAVE MANY TIMES,

AND IT'S STARTING
TO HURT.

WE CAME AS A TEAM.

WE'RE GONNA LEAVE
AS A TEAM.

YOU'RE THE QUARTERBACK.
MAKE THE CALL.

"FROM US TO YOU.

"THE PARTY OF WAR IS TRYING
TO CANCEL THE ELECTION.

"WE STRONGLY DISAGREE
WITH THAT POSITION.

"WE BELIEVE
BORIS NIKOLAYEVICH YELTSIN

"WILL WIN BY THREE.

UH, THE ELECTION
IS IN THE BAG."

[ typing ]

[ sighs ]

THE MEMO WAS A BIG HIT...
OR A BIG MISS.

WE'RE NOT SURE.

THE ELECTION ISN'T CANCELED,
AT LEAST NOT YET,

BUT TATIANA HAS DISAPPEARED.

SO HAVE ALL HER CRONIES.

EVERYBODY'S PLAYING POSSUM.

ELVIS IS SPREADING RUMORS
ABOUT A MILITARY COUP.

HE THINKS IT'S GONNA HAPPEN
WHETHER YELTSIN WINS OR LOSES.

IS HE RIGHT?
IT'S HARD TO TELL.

[ helicopters buzzing ]

GUYS? SNIPERS
ON THE ROOFTOPS.

SOMEBODY'S GETTING READY
FOR SOMETHING.

ANY NUMBERS IN YET?

NAH, JUST FRIGGIN' SOAPS.

THEY WON'T ANNOUNCE ANYTHING
UNTIL THE POLLS CLOSE.

MY HANDS ARE SHAKING.
WHY ARE MY HANDS SHAKING?

WE'LL KNOW SOONER
AT THE ELECTION CENTRAL.

YEAH, BUT WE
CAN'T GO IN THERE.

WELL, YOU KNOW,
WE'RE SITTING DUCKS HERE.

WE GOTTA GET
OUT OF THE HOTEL.

NO, NO, NO, THIS IS EXACTLY
WHERE WE'RE NOT SITTING DUCKS.

IF THEY WERE GONNA KILL US HERE,
THEY WOULD'VE DONE IT ALREADY.

MAYBE, MAYBE NOT.
WHO'S TO KNOW?

DON'T START WITH
THE "WHO'S TO KNOW?"

HEY, IT'S BETTER
IF WE SPLIT UP.

THEY CAN'T KILL ONE OF US
WITHOUT KILLING ALL OF US.

IT WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE,
NO WAY TO DAMAGE CONTROL.

GEORGE? GEORGE?

[ siren blares ]

HELLO. UH, CAN I MAKE
A CALL, IF I MAY?

ZVONOK. ZVONOK?

TO THE UNITED STATES.

AMERICA?

NYET.UH, LINES? NYET.
NO CALLS.

HI. THIS IS ME.
GEORGE GORTON. UH...

I'M CALLING FROM
IN MOSCOW, RUSSIA.

IT'S JUNE 16th, 1996.

IT'S ABOUT 4:00 P.M.
MY TIME.

THE REASON
I'M CALLING IS, UH,

I MAY BE KILLED TODAY--

[ disconnect tones play,
line crackles ]

HELLO. HELLO?

[ phone ringing ]

YEAH. HELLO.

WE'RE DEAD.

YEAH, TELL ME SOMETHING
I DON'T KNOW.

I WAS LEAVING A MESSAGE
ON MY OFFICE MACHINE.

IT GOT CUT OFF.
OPERATOR SAID ALL LINES ARE OUT.

CAN'T GET INTERNATIONAL
ON MY CELL.

IF YOU ASK ME, SOMEBODY'S GEARING UP FOR MAJOR BLOODSHED.

THEY'RE CUTTING OFF ACCESS
TO THE OUTSIDE.

THEY'RE DUSTING OFF THE-- GEORGE, GEORGE, YOU GOTTA GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF.

YOUR PARANOIA'S GETTING
THE BETTER OF YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW IT.SCREW WHAT?

I'M HEADING DOWN
TO ELECTION CENTRAL.

AT LEAST I'LL SEE THE RETURNS
AS THEY'RE COMING IN.

YOU CAN'T GO DOWN THERE.
LUGOV'S DOWN THERE.

HERE I GO, DICK,
BEFORE YOU CHANGE MY MIND.

GEORGE! GEORGE!

SHIT!

HE'S GONE DOWN
TO ELECTION CENTRAL.

JOE, HE'S GONE DOWN
TO ELECTION CENTRAL.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

[ sighs ] OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

I'M GOING, TOO.

YOU ARE?

WELL, THINK
ABOUT IT, DICK.

ONE, GEORGE GOES
DOWN THERE ALL ALONE

AND CATCHES ALL THE ACTION
BY HIMSELF;

TWO, KNOWING GEORGE,
WE NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT;

AND, THREE, WHEN
HE WRITES THE BOOK,

WE'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE
A COUPLE OF CHICKENSHITS.

HOW CAN HE WRITE A BOOK
IF HE'S FUCKING DEAD?

YOU DON'T KNOW GEORGE.

HELP ME MOVE THIS STUFF.

OH OH OH.

WHOA!

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO US,

I'M GONNA MAKE SURE
THEY KILL YOU FIRST.

WHY?CHICKEN.

[ sighs ]

LET'S GET IN THERE.

REMEMBER, GUYS,
IT'S A SCIENCE.

HE'S GONNA WIN
BY THREE.

[ woman speaks Russian ] SPASIBO.

[ man speaks Russian ]

THE NUMBERS ARE DOWN
IN THE FAR EAST.

HE'S GONNA WIN
BY THREE. DON'T WORRY.

WIN BY THREE.

LOOK AT MOSCOW, NECK AND NECK.
WE SHOULD BE SWEEPING THERE.

POLLS ARE STILL OPEN.
WIN BY THREE.

Dick: WE'RE LOSING THE ELECTION.
WHY AREN'T WE UP BY THREE, JOE?

LOOK AT THE WHERES,
NOT THE WHYS.

MOST OF THE EARLY NUMBERS
ARE RURAL. WE'RE GONNA MOVE UP.

[ phone ringing ]

SHIT'S ABOUT
TO HIT THE CEILING FAN.
LOOK WHO'S HERE.

DID HE SEE US?

WE'RE STILL ALIVE,
AREN'T WE?

YES, WE ARE, AND WE
ARE GOING TO WIN BY THREE.

WHO'S THIS?
WHO'S THIS?

[ speaking Russian ]

[ gasping ]

[ applause ]

WHAT'S SHE SAYING?

EXCUSE ME. DO YOU
SPEAK ENGLISH?

DA...YES, SIR.

UH, WHAT'S GOING ON?
CAN YOU TELL US
WHAT SHE'S SAYING?

SHE'S PREDICTING YELTSIN
WINNING BY THREE.

BY THREE?YES.

SHE SAID THAT? DA.

WHAT ELSE?
ANYTHING ELSE?

SHE'S ALSO SAYING,
BASED ON THE EXIT POLLS,

THE ONLY THING RUSSIANS
LIKE LESS THAN YELTSIN

IS THE PROSPECT
OF UPHEAVAL.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
WE SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF THEM!

SEE? JUST SCIENCE.
JUST REAL SCIENCE.

[ laughing ]

Dick: TELL HIM
WE DO WANT THE GIG.

WE'RE JUST GONNA
BE A LITTLE LATE.

Joe: I'M GREAT!
WE WON, DIDN'T WE?

TELL THEM TO KEEP
THEIR PANTS ON.

UH-HUH.OKAY. BYE.

YEAH.[ beep ]

LOOK AT THIS TRAFFIC.

WE'RE NEVER GONNA
MAKE OUR FLIGHT.

WE'LL MAKE IT
WITH 20 TO SPARE.

WE SHOULD'VE
NEVER DROPPED LUKOIL.

THOSE STOCKS QUADRUPLED
SINCE WE BOUGHT IT.

THAT'S THE LAST TIME
I LISTEN TO YOU, GEORGE.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[ chatter ]

SHLYAPA? SHLYAPA.

SPASIBO.

IT'S JUNE, GEORGE.

[ Joe and George humming
Russian national anthem ]

♪ ...UNITES
THE HUMAN RACE ♪

BUT ONLY FOR
THE VERY RICH.

OH, YOU DON'T
KNOW THIS?

Elvis Impersonator:
♪ LOVE ME SWEET AND TENDER

♪ LOVE ME DEEP AND TRUE

[ speaks Russian ]

♪ DARLING, I SURRENDER

♪ ALL MY DREAMS TO YOU

[ speaks Russian ]

♪ ALL MY DREAMS

♪ ALL MY DREAMS

♪ I WILL GIVE TO YOU

[ speaks Russian ]

♪ LOVE ME SWEET AND TENDER

♪ DARLING, I LOVE YOU

[ speaking Russian ]

♪ TELL ME THAT
I'M THE LUCKY ONE ♪

♪ TELL ME THAT
YOU'LL BE THERE ♪

[ singing in Russian ]

♪ TELL ME THAT
YOU STILL CARE ♪

♪ TELL ME, DARLING, THAT I

♪ I'LL BE YOUR ONE
AND ONLY GUY ♪

[ singing in Russian ]

♪ TELL ME, DARLING, THAT YOU

♪ YOU'LL BE MY ONE
AND ONLY GIRL ♪

♪ YOU'LL BE MY ONE
AND ONLY LOVE ♪