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1
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Previously on "Resident Alien"...
2
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Calm down? I can't calm down.
3
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:05,831
They're threatening our families!
4
00:00:05,836 --> 00:00:08,438
If I knew something
important and dangerous,
5
00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:09,879
I might've written it down.
6
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:11,712
Holy shit!
7
00:00:11,717 --> 00:00:13,719
Who the hell is Galvan/Powell Group?
8
00:00:13,724 --> 00:00:15,358
Why are you in New York?
9
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,669
You were supposed to stay in Colorado
10
00:00:17,674 --> 00:00:19,067
and do your goddamn work.
11
00:00:19,072 --> 00:00:21,758
You have no idea who
you are dealing with.
12
00:00:21,763 --> 00:00:24,271
So where is this alien ball?
13
00:00:24,276 --> 00:00:26,115
I give you the ball,
I get my life back.
14
00:00:30,426 --> 00:00:31,701
My birthday's coming up.
15
00:00:31,706 --> 00:00:35,204
I was wondering if you want
to do something that day.
16
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I would love that.
17
00:00:36,378 --> 00:00:38,250
Surprise!
18
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,039
There's alien activity here in Patience.
19
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,476
- I know it.
- What are you gonna do?
20
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,351
I'm gonna call the Alien Tracker
21
00:00:47,356 --> 00:00:48,792
and tell him to come to Patience
22
00:00:48,797 --> 00:00:50,175
and find himself an alien.
23
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I'm Goliath. There's an alien race
24
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:57,043
that's planning to take over the Earth.
25
00:00:57,048 --> 00:01:00,104
Wha... ah...
26
00:01:00,109 --> 00:01:01,719
You should've just stayed in Colorado
27
00:01:01,724 --> 00:01:04,363
- and done your job.
- You shot me.
28
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:06,022
Yeah. I should've never made you
29
00:01:06,027 --> 00:01:07,680
kill Sam Hodges.
30
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,982
I should've just taken
care of it myself.
31
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Asta.
32
00:01:22,986 --> 00:01:26,706
Holy shit. What the hell happened?
33
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He shot me.
34
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Okay, we need to call an ambulance.
35
00:01:30,816 --> 00:01:32,678
No! We do not need to do that.
36
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This is a dangerous man.
37
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This is bad. This is really bad.
38
00:01:39,007 --> 00:01:41,452
No, it is okay.
39
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He's dead.
40
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Oh, God.
41
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,112
Harry, Asta? Y'all out here?
42
00:01:48,117 --> 00:01:50,045
I heard gunfire!
43
00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:52,068
Hello?
44
00:01:52,073 --> 00:01:53,291
Sheriff's Department.
45
00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:58,635
Oh, shit!
46
00:01:58,640 --> 00:01:59,767
Oh, damn. What y'all doin' out here?
47
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:02,037
- Did y'all hear gunshots?
- Just a racoon.
48
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I almost put down that varmint.
49
00:02:04,751 --> 00:02:05,970
I'm pretty sure I heard
50
00:02:05,975 --> 00:02:08,282
two distinctly different
caliber gunshots.
51
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:10,821
That was me. I'm still celebrating.
52
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It's my birthday!
53
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Yay, Harry. Whoo-hoo.
54
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,880
Oh, okay.
55
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,185
Damn, y'all scared the shit out of me.
56
00:02:22,190 --> 00:02:24,989
Anyway, it's good to
see y'all are all right.
57
00:02:24,994 --> 00:02:26,647
Everybody else left.
58
00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:28,484
They was wonderin' where
the two of you went.
59
00:02:28,488 --> 00:02:30,359
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
60
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,021
I was like, "Where did they go?
61
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:35,874
Don't tell me they're
off owl-hunting again."
62
00:02:36,188 --> 00:02:37,841
But then, you know, I went outside,
63
00:02:37,846 --> 00:02:40,285
followed the hoots, and there they were.
64
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:43,093
- Hoot, hoot.
- Hoot.
65
00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:44,724
- So...
- Hoot.
66
00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:46,249
Yeah.
67
00:02:46,842 --> 00:02:50,411
- Okay.
- So you guys have fun here.
68
00:02:50,416 --> 00:02:54,072
Sheriff and I, no place to
go but away to our homes.
69
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:56,054
Thank you for the party.
70
00:02:56,519 --> 00:02:59,268
All right, yeah, um,
thanks for everything.
71
00:02:59,273 --> 00:03:00,479
Party was pretty cool.
72
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:03,835
You might want to open that
window in your bathroom.
73
00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,315
Smell like a good old-fashioned
hump house up in there.
74
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,510
You know what I'm talking about.
75
00:03:08,675 --> 00:03:10,359
Yeah, that wasn't no normal sex.
76
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:12,535
- No, I know.
- Ben and Kate.
77
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,059
Yeah. You don't know the half of it.
78
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,506
Oh, are you okay?
79
00:03:18,511 --> 00:03:21,136
No. Are you?
80
00:03:21,748 --> 00:03:22,879
No.
81
00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:35,297
- Jesus, they took him out.
- What the hell we gonna do?
82
00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:38,213
What was that?
83
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,096
Vin!
84
00:03:47,177 --> 00:03:49,323
Vinny!
85
00:04:03,267 --> 00:04:06,621
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
86
00:04:08,557 --> 00:04:10,515
Death is not a loss for my people,
87
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,652
not like it is for humans.
88
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,732
Where I am from, everything that exists
89
00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:16,869
is all part of the same ecosystem.
90
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,732
When our life is over,
we simply change form
91
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:21,913
and return to where we started,
92
00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:23,393
part of the planet.
93
00:04:23,437 --> 00:04:25,822
We never really die.
94
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:30,392
Harry, your blood is turning alien.
95
00:04:30,657 --> 00:04:32,267
The wound is making me weaker.
96
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,543
I need you to take the bullet
out so that I can heal faster.
97
00:04:35,586 --> 00:04:38,011
Human emotions make
death difficult for them.
98
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:41,498
It adds fear and sadness
to something very natural.
99
00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,326
The man Asta shot may have family
100
00:04:43,331 --> 00:04:45,360
who will mourn the end of his life.
101
00:04:45,365 --> 00:04:49,898
But he also tried to kill
me, so rot into dirt, ham bag.
102
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:59,193
Okay. Everyone's gone.
103
00:04:59,902 --> 00:05:02,826
So do we want to talk
about the dead guy?
104
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:06,306
He killed Sam Hodges.
105
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,029
Yeah, that's right.
106
00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:13,264
We followed clues in New
York, which led us to him.
107
00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:14,444
Found those clues.
108
00:05:14,449 --> 00:05:17,321
Yeah, and he knew
that we knew that...
109
00:05:17,326 --> 00:05:18,704
He knew we knew it.
110
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:21,103
- He, uh... what he did, and...
- He did it.
111
00:05:21,108 --> 00:05:22,849
So he came here to kill us.
112
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Tried to kill us.
113
00:05:24,928 --> 00:05:27,409
Right. I was just gonna see
114
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,802
if you had, like, a woodchipper
I could chuck the body into.
115
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:30,982
What?
116
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:33,507
No! We have to tell the police!
117
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:36,553
We should've told Mike.
This is self-defense.
118
00:05:36,558 --> 00:05:39,865
You cannot do that.
If you tell the police,
119
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then the bad people will know
that you killed their friend,
120
00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:44,861
and then they will come
121
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:48,224
and kill you and everyone
that is close to you.
122
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,646
Wait, who are these people?
123
00:05:51,048 --> 00:05:54,660
Sorry, I don't understand.
124
00:05:54,665 --> 00:05:58,408
Is this why you've been so
secretive this whole time?
125
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:01,208
You were just
investigating Sam's murder?
126
00:06:01,421 --> 00:06:02,654
Why didn't you just tell me?
127
00:06:02,659 --> 00:06:08,145
She did not tell you because
she didn't want you to know.
128
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,539
I get it. You were protecting me.
129
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:12,294
Well, now I'm protecting you, okay?
130
00:06:12,299 --> 00:06:14,064
Hey, no one's gonna hurt you.
131
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:16,145
Nothing bad's gonna happen, all right?
132
00:06:16,559 --> 00:06:19,536
I'm gonna go outside.
I'm gonna check the body,
133
00:06:19,541 --> 00:06:24,153
and you are gonna stay
here with Harry, fix him up.
134
00:06:25,014 --> 00:06:26,842
We got this.
135
00:06:26,966 --> 00:06:29,692
- Okay?
- Okay.
136
00:06:37,784 --> 00:06:39,614
Is she gonna be okay?
137
00:06:39,619 --> 00:06:42,135
There's still an alien baby outside.
138
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,621
Do you mean the alien
baby who attached to my head
139
00:06:44,626 --> 00:06:46,628
to warn me that there
is an evil alien race
140
00:06:46,633 --> 00:06:48,592
planning on taking over Earth?
141
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:53,277
The gunshots scared
it back into the lake.
142
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:55,028
Well, you're very lucky,
143
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,721
because if this had
been a few inches lower,
144
00:06:57,726 --> 00:06:59,464
it would've hit your
heart, and you'd be dead.
145
00:06:59,468 --> 00:07:03,036
- Mm.
- Wait. would you have died,
146
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:05,903
or would you just turn back to alien?
147
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,427
If the bullet hit the human heart,
148
00:07:07,432 --> 00:07:08,694
it would kill this body
149
00:07:08,699 --> 00:07:11,301
before I could turn back into an alien.
150
00:07:14,209 --> 00:07:16,298
Then I would die too.
151
00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:21,179
Oh, Harry.
152
00:07:21,262 --> 00:07:22,524
I'm not dead.
153
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:25,227
I am alive because
you killed the bad man.
154
00:07:25,232 --> 00:07:26,799
Thank you, Asta.
155
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,012
You're welcome.
156
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:33,738
I do not like this human
feeling of being almost-dead.
157
00:07:33,743 --> 00:07:36,760
When I get a burnt
potato in my hashbrowns,
158
00:07:36,765 --> 00:07:39,724
I put it to the side of
my plate and ignore it.
159
00:07:39,806 --> 00:07:42,306
I will do the same with death.
160
00:07:42,311 --> 00:07:44,197
I feel better already.
161
00:08:13,352 --> 00:08:16,150
Well, I found his car.
162
00:08:16,217 --> 00:08:19,394
I was wrong about tossing
the guy into a woodchipper.
163
00:08:19,509 --> 00:08:21,985
- Unless...
- I do not have a woodchipper!
164
00:08:22,192 --> 00:08:24,194
Well, we can't make
him disappear anyway.
165
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,156
We have to plant the body somewhere.
166
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,812
He was staying at the Copper Ridge,
167
00:08:28,817 --> 00:08:30,383
that shitty motel on the edge of town.
168
00:08:30,388 --> 00:08:33,159
It's in the middle of nowhere,
quiet, no security cameras.
169
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:35,404
It's one of the top three
places to plant a body in town.
170
00:08:35,409 --> 00:08:38,151
We'll bag the body, limit
how much DNA we get on it.
171
00:08:38,156 --> 00:08:39,818
I'll drive his car to the motel.
172
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:42,038
You two dump his body
in the hot tub out back.
173
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,566
- Mm.
- We want the body in hot water
174
00:08:43,571 --> 00:08:45,256
to help muddy the evidence.
175
00:08:45,261 --> 00:08:47,217
We'll plant his gun on
him, make him look shady.
176
00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:49,224
Harry, you melt down
the rifle that shot him.
177
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,144
- Ha!
- All right,
178
00:08:51,149 --> 00:08:54,282
now he's just a dead guy in
a hot tub at a shitty motel.
179
00:08:54,287 --> 00:08:56,100
"Law and Order."
180
00:08:56,776 --> 00:08:58,097
"CSI."
181
00:09:02,613 --> 00:09:04,049
I'll go bring his car around.
182
00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:10,632
That's not the only
thing we will plant on him!
183
00:09:13,601 --> 00:09:15,341
The medical records!
184
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:19,481
We must sneak these into the
trunk of Mr. Dead Guy's car,
185
00:09:19,486 --> 00:09:22,039
and then when they find the
dead body, they will find these
186
00:09:22,044 --> 00:09:24,786
and they will blame him
for Sam Hodges' death,
187
00:09:24,791 --> 00:09:28,650
and then my name will
be cleared forever.
188
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:31,701
Your Honor, the evidence is clear!
189
00:09:31,706 --> 00:09:34,491
There is no evidence
to convict my client!
190
00:09:34,496 --> 00:09:36,788
I rest my case! Cun...
191
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,839
Does "CSI" have a "clung-clung?"
192
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:40,647
That doesn't help me.
193
00:09:40,803 --> 00:09:43,632
Harry, even if they
think that he killed Sam,
194
00:09:43,637 --> 00:09:46,581
- I still killed him.
- It will work.
195
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,153
Mayor Snowflake has asked
me to be the town doctor.
196
00:09:49,158 --> 00:09:50,855
I will accept. I will do the autopsy.
197
00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:52,339
I will fake the results.
198
00:09:52,344 --> 00:09:56,286
I will make sure that Sheriff
Hat and Deputy Sadsmile
199
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:57,684
do not think you did it.
200
00:10:00,742 --> 00:10:04,682
"Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley.
201
00:10:05,501 --> 00:10:10,631
This audiobook is read to
you by Ms. Judith Cooper.
202
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:15,145
"Letter One. To Mrs. Savi..."
203
00:10:15,150 --> 00:10:17,428
Sa... Savayle?
204
00:10:18,394 --> 00:10:20,527
Say, Say-vayle. I... one of those.
205
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,404
Hey there, skank-arooni.
206
00:10:22,409 --> 00:10:23,976
Oh, hey!
207
00:10:23,981 --> 00:10:26,275
Are you still trying to get
that audiobook thing going?
208
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:27,970
Oh, yeah. I got a new microphone.
209
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:30,537
So it's, like, really professional now.
210
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,489
Oh, it looks like you're
still recording right now.
211
00:10:32,493 --> 00:10:33,797
Oh, yeah. It doesn't matter.
212
00:10:33,802 --> 00:10:35,717
Do you wanna watch me in action?
213
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,811
- Yeah, sure, yeah.
- Okay.
214
00:10:37,892 --> 00:10:41,679
"The commencement of an enterprise,
215
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:47,081
which you have regarded
with such evil forebodings."
216
00:10:47,086 --> 00:10:49,175
This one is gonna scare
217
00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:50,877
the poop out of my butt.
218
00:10:50,882 --> 00:10:52,927
Yeah, I don't think
that part's in the book.
219
00:10:53,048 --> 00:10:56,312
But I brought you these,
though, from a party I was at.
220
00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:58,222
Oh! Deviled eggs.
221
00:10:58,227 --> 00:11:00,316
I didn't know about a
party. That's so weird.
222
00:11:00,321 --> 00:11:02,047
- Hmm.
- Oh, I bet
223
00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:03,252
you probably tried to call me,
224
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:06,769
but my phone is, like, so crazy.
225
00:11:07,052 --> 00:11:09,816
Thank you. Yummers.
226
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:11,758
Oh, my God...
227
00:11:11,763 --> 00:11:13,816
So good.
228
00:11:14,234 --> 00:11:18,269
Human corpses decay
and get smelly so quickly.
229
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:22,519
Why can't you turn to stone
like my people when you die?
230
00:11:22,524 --> 00:11:24,526
Can we not talk about this?
231
00:11:24,531 --> 00:11:26,245
I just wanna get this over with.
232
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:27,643
Mmm!
233
00:11:27,648 --> 00:11:30,041
You might wanna slow down there.
234
00:11:30,163 --> 00:11:32,208
Well, mmm... I'm really hungry.
235
00:11:32,252 --> 00:11:35,037
Also, I really like these,
like, they're nice and warm,
236
00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:36,304
you know? You can really, like,
237
00:11:36,309 --> 00:11:37,641
smell 'em.
238
00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:40,912
- Can I have one more?
- Yeah.
239
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,093
Uh, do you have a bathroom close by?
240
00:11:43,098 --> 00:11:44,786
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm, good.
241
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,749
- Why?
- Ah.
242
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,608
Hey!
243
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:11,375
Wake up, drunky! Better
not be pissing in there.
244
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:17,084
People don't listen.
245
00:12:20,126 --> 00:12:21,910
How's he even, like, breathing in there?
246
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:13,967
- This way.
- You set me up.
247
00:13:13,972 --> 00:13:16,453
If I had set you up, I
would be with all those men
248
00:13:16,458 --> 00:13:19,807
and dogs that are clearly
chasing both of us.
249
00:13:26,228 --> 00:13:30,553
Tell me everything we know
about the Galvan/Powell Group.
250
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:33,029
Multinational conglomerate,
251
00:13:33,034 --> 00:13:35,993
um, businesses all over the world,
252
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:40,384
and interests in everything
from energy to shipping.
253
00:13:40,389 --> 00:13:42,826
And all the names we
found in Sam's office
254
00:13:42,831 --> 00:13:45,115
are top executives that work there.
255
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:48,349
Maybe they had something
to do with Sam's death
256
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:51,134
and writing the names down
was his insurance policy.
257
00:13:51,139 --> 00:13:52,875
Yeah, that's a good guess.
258
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,699
Hell, I wouldn't be surprised
if they all killed him.
259
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:55,919
Look at them rich people names:
260
00:13:55,923 --> 00:13:58,882
Troy Hendricks, Tanner Corrington.
261
00:13:58,887 --> 00:14:00,274
Sound like old-money murderers
262
00:14:00,279 --> 00:14:01,791
who killed their way out of trouble.
263
00:14:01,796 --> 00:14:04,424
The parents too busy buying
yachts and wearing visors
264
00:14:04,429 --> 00:14:05,796
to teach 'em right from wrong.
265
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,629
They probably wear belts
266
00:14:07,634 --> 00:14:09,680
that have whales and lobsters on 'em.
267
00:14:09,685 --> 00:14:11,149
Just a bunch
268
00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:13,591
of generational-wealth,
privileged-as-hell,
269
00:14:13,596 --> 00:14:17,769
lacrosse-ass, pastel-shorts,
boat-shoed mother...
270
00:14:18,439 --> 00:14:22,543
- Sorry about the swearing.
- Oh, I swear all the time too.
271
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:27,644
Look at that guy, Gray Buchanan.
272
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:30,019
What an old shit...
273
00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:33,742
head, asshole guy. Right, sir?
274
00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:35,396
Yeah. Actually, yeah.
275
00:14:35,401 --> 00:14:37,795
You took some of them
words right out of my mouth.
276
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,930
Harry!
277
00:14:47,935 --> 00:14:50,720
Oh, sorry. Dr. Vanderspeigle.
278
00:14:50,725 --> 00:14:52,075
Come in! Come in.
279
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,182
How was the rest of your birthday?
280
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,330
I would like to talk to you
281
00:14:56,335 --> 00:15:00,851
about the offer for me
to be town doctor again!
282
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:04,214
- Yeah.
- I accept.
283
00:15:04,632 --> 00:15:06,634
Wow, that is incredible.
284
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,772
With these conditions:
285
00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:12,167
I want the traffic outside
my office eliminated.
286
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:14,055
I want my own kitchen.
287
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:18,804
I want that little
Ellen nurse to not talk,
288
00:15:18,809 --> 00:15:22,883
and if she steals
granola bars from my desk,
289
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:25,938
I want her capital-punished.
290
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,749
Okay, well, two of
those are impossible,
291
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,365
and one is kind of illegal.
292
00:15:31,370 --> 00:15:33,318
How about a white noise machine?
293
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:35,630
You know, it might
block the traffic sounds.
294
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,072
No deal!
295
00:15:37,077 --> 00:15:38,889
Sheriff, Judy Cooper's on the phone
296
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,678
from the Copper Ridge Motel.
297
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,066
Okay, deal.
298
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:44,117
I accept the position.
I am now the town doctor.
299
00:15:44,122 --> 00:15:45,732
You cannot take it back.
300
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:47,816
O... okay!
301
00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:49,122
- Great!
- Mm-hmm.
302
00:15:49,127 --> 00:15:51,666
Ah, Deputy, we got
ourselves another murder!
303
00:15:52,367 --> 00:15:53,847
What?
304
00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:57,408
Oh, no, a murder. What a terrible day.
305
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:02,883
I remember he checked in at 6:00,
306
00:16:02,888 --> 00:16:04,741
because I was eating my salami.
307
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,966
And that's the last
time you saw him alive,
308
00:16:06,971 --> 00:16:08,527
when he checked in last night?
309
00:16:08,532 --> 00:16:11,318
No, I saw him again
later in the parking lot.
310
00:16:11,323 --> 00:16:14,544
He was talking to two
men in a black van.
311
00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:16,579
Hello, Sheriff.
312
00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:18,847
I knew that I was
probably gonna see you,
313
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,593
So, um,
314
00:16:20,598 --> 00:16:22,586
I made you an audiobook.
315
00:16:22,967 --> 00:16:25,230
"Autobiography of Malcolm X."
316
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:28,851
- Oh, Judy...
- Oh, it's not Malcolm Ten?
317
00:16:29,810 --> 00:16:32,247
I'll redo it. I thought
that the X was a ten.
318
00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:34,819
You know, like, in Roman numerals.
319
00:16:34,901 --> 00:16:38,557
Can you tell us anything
about the men in the van?
320
00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:41,217
I didn't see 'em real good, honestly.
321
00:16:41,222 --> 00:16:45,008
I did see a skunk, though,
and I followed it for a while...
322
00:16:45,013 --> 00:16:48,194
- Did you hear a gunshot?
- No.
323
00:16:48,523 --> 00:16:50,134
I actually didn't really hear anything.
324
00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:52,402
D'arcy stopped by with food.
325
00:16:52,407 --> 00:16:55,192
She was really upset because
I couldn't go to this party
326
00:16:55,197 --> 00:16:58,403
that she went to, so she
brought me devil's eggs.
327
00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,541
- Oh, did you like them?
- Oh, yeah.
328
00:17:00,546 --> 00:17:02,279
- They were really good.
- Oh.
329
00:17:02,284 --> 00:17:04,150
And luckily, there were still
a couple left on the counter
330
00:17:04,154 --> 00:17:06,635
this morning, so I finished 'em.
331
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,790
Oh, are you having
any stomach issues?
332
00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:12,834
Oh, yeah. Real bad.
333
00:17:13,041 --> 00:17:14,694
All right, excuse me.
334
00:17:14,699 --> 00:17:16,769
Mr. Mayor, Dr. V.
335
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:20,909
I heard that there was
another murder in Patience,
336
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:23,700
and I am devastated at this news.
337
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:25,388
Yeah, see, we might
have an issue with that.
338
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:27,481
Little known fact: this hot tub
339
00:17:27,486 --> 00:17:30,560
is actually over the
county line into Jessup.
340
00:17:30,565 --> 00:17:33,351
So Jessup hot tub, Jessup murder.
341
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:35,402
Uh, suck on that, Mayor Mitch.
342
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:38,934
Huh, well, maybe the shooter
was on the Patience side.
343
00:17:39,313 --> 00:17:41,446
Well, maybe we should, uh,
344
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,146
take a gander at the
security cameras and see.
345
00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:45,195
There are no security cameras!
346
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,245
- Is my guess.
- He's right.
347
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:51,108
We're very discreet here, so... I mean,
348
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:54,725
two people could just disappear
into a motel room right now
349
00:17:54,730 --> 00:17:57,385
and do just about anything,
350
00:17:57,390 --> 00:18:00,219
and nobody would know...
351
00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:01,762
I'll be right back.
352
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:04,426
Look, with all due respect, Mr. Mayor,
353
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:05,867
I'm the sheriff of Patience,
354
00:18:05,872 --> 00:18:08,397
and this, to me, looks
like a Patience crime scene.
355
00:18:08,402 --> 00:18:10,187
And I'm the doctor from Patience,
356
00:18:10,192 --> 00:18:15,223
and I will do the autopsy,
and you can suck on that...
357
00:18:15,612 --> 00:18:17,049
with no respect!
358
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,592
Not very kind.
359
00:18:21,677 --> 00:18:23,592
Sir, you're not gonna believe this.
360
00:18:23,705 --> 00:18:26,317
The victim was one of
the names on Sam's list:
361
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:28,150
Tanner Corrington...
362
00:18:28,155 --> 00:18:29,460
And he had a gun in his jacket.
363
00:18:29,465 --> 00:18:33,707
What an interesting
name I've never heard of.
364
00:18:34,934 --> 00:18:36,022
Well, well, well.
365
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,899
So Mr. Silver Spoon Fancy Pants
366
00:18:37,904 --> 00:18:42,953
was carrying and got
murdered? Surprise, surprise.
367
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,863
I'm so surprised.
368
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:46,995
Wow.
369
00:18:52,179 --> 00:18:53,180
Yes, hello.
370
00:18:53,184 --> 00:18:54,577
My name is Johnny Smithson.
371
00:18:54,582 --> 00:18:57,324
I'd like to report a murder
that happened in Jessup.
372
00:19:02,154 --> 00:19:08,291
It's an odd feeling to know
that you are going to die soon.
373
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,236
I am glad this appointment is over.
374
00:19:10,241 --> 00:19:12,069
Whenever this man mentions dying,
375
00:19:12,074 --> 00:19:13,771
that bad feeling I have about death
376
00:19:13,776 --> 00:19:16,164
climbs to the top of my stomach.
377
00:19:16,671 --> 00:19:19,892
Soon, it will not matter to
you what being dead is like,
378
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:22,070
because you will be dead.
379
00:19:22,075 --> 00:19:26,199
I love your bedside manner.
380
00:19:26,906 --> 00:19:29,337
I'll miss it when I'm gone.
381
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:32,823
No, you will not,
because you will be dead.
382
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:34,691
Goodbye, now.
383
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:36,944
You think I should
give him a different dose?
384
00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:39,608
One deceased male,
fatal gunshot wound.
385
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,202
Where do you want him for the autopsy?
386
00:19:42,122 --> 00:19:43,558
Uh...
387
00:19:43,563 --> 00:19:45,440
Alive people wait in the lobby.
388
00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:47,720
Dead people wait in exam one.
389
00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:03,197
Hey. Much-needed day drink?
390
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,248
I need your help.
How am I supposed to...
391
00:20:06,253 --> 00:20:09,496
What, live your life just like normal?
392
00:20:10,329 --> 00:20:11,461
Hello, Asta.
393
00:20:11,466 --> 00:20:13,294
Here is your normal 3:00 p.m. whiskey,
394
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:15,257
which you have every day at this time.
395
00:20:18,566 --> 00:20:21,525
Oh, yeah, normal.
396
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,689
I'm never gonna be normal again.
397
00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:25,742
I'm supposed to pick up Jay tomorrow
398
00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,047
and take her to lunch for her birthday.
399
00:20:27,051 --> 00:20:28,836
Holy shit. That's amazing.
400
00:20:28,917 --> 00:20:31,529
It would be if I wasn't a murderer.
401
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:33,266
Okay, you're not a murderer.
402
00:20:33,271 --> 00:20:34,861
You're just an innocent woman
403
00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:37,869
that got caught up in all
this shit because of Harry.
404
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:40,477
You shouldn't trust
that guy, by the way.
405
00:20:40,624 --> 00:20:43,193
- He moved a body last night.
- So did we!
406
00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:45,766
Yeah, but you know, it's
us. We made it look cool.
407
00:20:45,771 --> 00:20:48,977
It's like people who can rock a
pair of bell-bottoms, you know?
408
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,070
I think we should tell the police.
409
00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:52,642
Maybe I should tell Liv.
410
00:20:52,647 --> 00:20:55,998
- What if this guy has a family?
- Okay, you have a family...
411
00:20:56,003 --> 00:20:57,611
All right, starting with
me, your ne'er-do-well
412
00:20:57,615 --> 00:21:01,720
but lovable soul sister,
and if you go to the police,
413
00:21:02,309 --> 00:21:04,432
they'll just send more
bad guys to kill you,
414
00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:06,090
and then I'll have to kill all of them,
415
00:21:06,095 --> 00:21:07,348
and spend the rest of my life
416
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:08,567
in my safe house in Puerto Vallarta,
417
00:21:08,571 --> 00:21:09,655
which I can't really be there
418
00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:10,830
for more than two weeks at a time,
419
00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:12,619
and I hate going by the name Veronica.
420
00:21:15,355 --> 00:21:18,184
Okay. Well, you make a good point.
421
00:21:18,189 --> 00:21:19,464
Thanks.
422
00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:21,494
All right, that's fine. Keep me posted.
423
00:21:21,498 --> 00:21:22,671
Yes, sir.
424
00:21:22,676 --> 00:21:24,981
- Okay. Thank you.
- Thanks.
425
00:21:26,193 --> 00:21:30,284
Only three occupants in the
motel aside from the victim,
426
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:33,074
and no one heard a gunshot
or anything unusual.
427
00:21:33,079 --> 00:21:34,777
You find the murder weapon yet?
428
00:21:34,858 --> 00:21:36,382
- No.
- Shit.
429
00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:39,067
We got no gunshots. We got no gun.
430
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:42,126
They could've used a silencer.
431
00:21:42,131 --> 00:21:45,672
Or maybe it's an icicle riddle, right?
432
00:21:45,677 --> 00:21:48,089
He gets stabbed with
an icicle, it melts.
433
00:21:48,094 --> 00:21:50,053
That's the perfect crime.
434
00:21:50,172 --> 00:21:51,870
It looked like a bullet wound, sir.
435
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:55,270
Yeah, maybe it was an ice
gun firing an ice bullet, right?
436
00:21:55,275 --> 00:21:57,099
The bullet friction, that'll
melt the gun right away,
437
00:21:57,103 --> 00:21:59,506
so that's a one-time-use-only
weapon, and the killer,
438
00:21:59,511 --> 00:22:01,446
he's gotta be somebody who knows
how to meditate or something,
439
00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:02,930
keep the body temperature low enough
440
00:22:02,935 --> 00:22:04,622
that their hand don't melt the gun.
441
00:22:04,627 --> 00:22:07,282
So maybe the killer's
like a Tibetan monk, right,
442
00:22:07,287 --> 00:22:09,289
who mediated before
he shot the guy...
443
00:22:09,294 --> 00:22:11,383
Not enough to bring
him inner peace, though.
444
00:22:11,542 --> 00:22:13,979
He was still angry enough to kill a man.
445
00:22:13,984 --> 00:22:15,285
That's sad.
446
00:22:15,860 --> 00:22:19,124
Or maybe he was shot
with a regular gun,
447
00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:21,958
and the murderer left with it.
448
00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:24,212
See, that's thinking inside the box.
449
00:22:24,217 --> 00:22:25,861
You think in, I think out.
450
00:22:25,866 --> 00:22:28,285
That's why we make
such a good team, ha ha.
451
00:22:29,788 --> 00:22:31,475
Hey! What are you doing with that?
452
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,348
That's the victim's car!
We ain't done with that yet!
453
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,397
I'm sorry, sir. We didn't order this.
454
00:22:35,587 --> 00:22:37,328
I did. Hi.
455
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,674
Detective Lena Torres, Jessup Police.
456
00:22:39,679 --> 00:22:42,533
Hello, what the hell are
you doing in my crime scene?
457
00:22:42,538 --> 00:22:44,424
I could ask you the
same question, though.
458
00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:47,017
The answer is pretty obvious, isn't it?
459
00:22:47,022 --> 00:22:49,119
The body was found in
a hot tub in my town.
460
00:22:49,124 --> 00:22:50,194
Huh.
461
00:22:50,199 --> 00:22:51,374
No, I don't think so.
462
00:22:51,379 --> 00:22:53,555
This here is a Patience crime, okay?
463
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:54,716
We got here first.
464
00:22:54,721 --> 00:22:56,368
You just can't go towing that car.
465
00:22:56,462 --> 00:22:57,937
I didn't see your crime tape on it.
466
00:22:57,941 --> 00:23:00,074
Well, that's because we ran out
467
00:23:00,079 --> 00:23:03,256
and had to switch to yellow
birthday party streamers,
468
00:23:03,261 --> 00:23:05,394
which disintegrated in the rain.
469
00:23:05,399 --> 00:23:06,903
I think you'll agree
that it makes the most sense
470
00:23:06,907 --> 00:23:08,952
for us to take over the investigation.
471
00:23:08,957 --> 00:23:10,209
Jessup forensic yard's
472
00:23:10,214 --> 00:23:11,690
got a bigger budget and more manpower.
473
00:23:11,694 --> 00:23:13,358
Huh. Well, I disagree.
474
00:23:13,363 --> 00:23:14,606
You still haven't introduced yourself.
475
00:23:14,610 --> 00:23:15,868
I guess they don't
have etiquette teachers
476
00:23:15,872 --> 00:23:16,960
here in Patience?
477
00:23:16,965 --> 00:23:18,445
I'm Sheriff Mike Thompson.
478
00:23:18,566 --> 00:23:21,530
- You can call me Big Black.
- In that case,
479
00:23:21,535 --> 00:23:23,371
you can call me Medium Brown.
480
00:23:24,049 --> 00:23:27,618
I'm Liv. I'm white.
481
00:23:27,623 --> 00:23:29,495
Nice to meet you.
482
00:23:29,538 --> 00:23:32,817
Okay, well, I'll loop
you in if I need any help.
483
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,626
You see how she swung her finger around
484
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:36,066
like she can loop?
485
00:23:36,071 --> 00:23:38,552
How you gonna loop me into
somethin' I'm already in?
486
00:23:38,673 --> 00:23:40,109
Have a nice day!
487
00:23:40,114 --> 00:23:41,789
I'm the loop...
488
00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:54,079
Hey, Dr. V. I'm so glad you're back.
489
00:23:54,084 --> 00:23:56,478
I am really relieved
490
00:23:56,483 --> 00:23:59,834
to be able to continue
our therapy sessions.
491
00:23:59,916 --> 00:24:04,122
I do not want to do it.
But it is part of the job.
492
00:24:04,569 --> 00:24:07,397
Smart strategy. Act indifferent
493
00:24:07,402 --> 00:24:10,150
so you don't seem like a
therapist and I open up more.
494
00:24:10,155 --> 00:24:13,272
- I actually do not care.
- That's brilliant.
495
00:24:13,277 --> 00:24:17,298
- Hi.
- Your wife followed you.
496
00:24:17,929 --> 00:24:19,278
She's taking off her clothes.
497
00:24:19,283 --> 00:24:21,068
Please do not have sex in my office!
498
00:24:21,073 --> 00:24:23,413
I am so sorry about last night.
499
00:24:23,418 --> 00:24:25,551
It's just a lot of stuff got stirred up,
500
00:24:25,556 --> 00:24:30,518
and one thing led to another.
It's just so embarrassing.
501
00:24:30,523 --> 00:24:33,178
I threw away all of the bath towels
502
00:24:33,183 --> 00:24:38,205
and the bath mats and
the soap and my loofah.
503
00:24:39,304 --> 00:24:42,918
So Kate had a great idea.
504
00:24:42,923 --> 00:24:46,854
Um, she suggested that
we try therapy together.
505
00:24:46,859 --> 00:24:50,924
- So she is controlling.
- You said I was controlling?
506
00:24:50,929 --> 00:24:53,366
No. Uh, no, I don't think
507
00:24:53,371 --> 00:24:54,677
those were my exact words.
508
00:24:54,682 --> 00:24:59,165
He also said he hates
your honey-glazed salmon.
509
00:24:59,323 --> 00:25:01,394
No, again, did not...
510
00:25:01,399 --> 00:25:03,600
That salmon is my specialty dish.
511
00:25:03,605 --> 00:25:05,068
- Love it.
- He said the only thing
512
00:25:05,073 --> 00:25:06,683
special about it
513
00:25:06,688 --> 00:25:12,084
was that something that lives
in the water could be so dry.
514
00:25:12,303 --> 00:25:14,366
See, this is the problem.
515
00:25:14,371 --> 00:25:16,721
I want him to feel comfortable
telling me these things.
516
00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:20,290
Mm, do not talk to me.
Talk directly to your husband.
517
00:25:20,295 --> 00:25:22,428
I do not care.
518
00:25:22,534 --> 00:25:24,983
Yeah, that's his strategy.
519
00:25:28,219 --> 00:25:32,876
Honey, I know you have
a hard time talking to me,
520
00:25:33,053 --> 00:25:37,623
and that's... it's okay. But
I don't want it to be hard.
521
00:25:37,628 --> 00:25:40,413
So I wanna make space for you
to tell me whatever you want.
522
00:25:40,418 --> 00:25:43,943
You can tell me anything, and it's okay.
523
00:25:44,103 --> 00:25:50,631
Okay, well, uh, thank you,
and thank you for the space.
524
00:25:50,636 --> 00:25:52,638
Without space, what do you have?
525
00:25:52,681 --> 00:25:53,982
Things. You know,
526
00:25:53,987 --> 00:25:56,990
things next to things,
which creates density,
527
00:25:56,995 --> 00:26:00,085
which also means a lack of knowing,
528
00:26:00,090 --> 00:26:02,919
and sometimes the first
step in not knowing
529
00:26:02,924 --> 00:26:06,103
is knowing that you don't know.
530
00:26:07,043 --> 00:26:08,171
What are you talking about?
531
00:26:08,175 --> 00:26:09,742
You're supposed to let him talk.
532
00:26:09,747 --> 00:26:12,141
I am, but he's not saying anything.
533
00:26:12,261 --> 00:26:13,654
We're having a baby.
534
00:26:13,659 --> 00:26:15,898
You know, we have to talk about it.
535
00:26:15,903 --> 00:26:17,876
You know, I don't want to be
the person in your life who you...
536
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,795
I have more important things to do
537
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,278
than listen to unimportant
marriage arguments.
538
00:26:22,283 --> 00:26:23,925
The sooner I get them out,
539
00:26:23,930 --> 00:26:27,022
the sooner I can start
doing my fake autopsy.
540
00:26:27,027 --> 00:26:28,637
I will wait for her to stop talking,
541
00:26:28,642 --> 00:26:31,538
then I will jump in and
tell them I have to leave.
542
00:26:33,551 --> 00:26:36,358
She is not stopping.
543
00:26:36,510 --> 00:26:40,601
Wow, I think that
was a very good start.
544
00:26:40,727 --> 00:26:42,644
Thank you, Dr. Vanderspeigle.
545
00:26:44,954 --> 00:26:47,688
Do you, um, do you think it went well?
546
00:26:47,693 --> 00:26:49,289
I don't know.
547
00:26:49,869 --> 00:26:53,156
I was doing math problems in
my head just to pass the time.
548
00:26:54,109 --> 00:26:56,808
What are they doing
with my body... hey!
549
00:26:56,936 --> 00:27:00,070
Ah, well, Jessup police are
taking over the investigation
550
00:27:00,075 --> 00:27:01,311
because the hot tub's in their town.
551
00:27:01,315 --> 00:27:02,480
So they're gonna handle everything.
552
00:27:02,484 --> 00:27:03,734
What do you mean everything?
553
00:27:03,797 --> 00:27:06,951
Ballistics, you know,
autopsy, everything.
554
00:27:07,489 --> 00:27:10,014
Looks like Jessup is
Murder Town, USA now.
555
00:27:14,912 --> 00:27:17,393
Hi, my name is Deputy Liv Baker,
556
00:27:17,398 --> 00:27:22,679
and I have video evidence of an
unidentified aerial phenomenon
557
00:27:22,684 --> 00:27:25,644
that multiple witnesses
theorize is an alien ship.
558
00:27:25,649 --> 00:27:30,219
I also believe I might've
lost time, and I saw something
559
00:27:30,224 --> 00:27:31,904
I can't explain.
560
00:27:33,574 --> 00:27:37,987
I hope you get this.
Also, I'm not a wacko.
561
00:27:39,701 --> 00:27:42,146
What's goin' on? What you doin',
an Instagram or somethin'?
562
00:27:42,398 --> 00:27:44,117
'Cause the lighting in here is terrible.
563
00:27:44,122 --> 00:27:45,224
You gotta get yourself
one of them lights
564
00:27:45,228 --> 00:27:47,427
to make your skin look
better, like a flesh light.
565
00:27:47,796 --> 00:27:51,880
I don't think that's
what it's, um, called.
566
00:27:51,885 --> 00:27:55,141
Fine. I'm recording a message
567
00:27:55,146 --> 00:27:58,236
to the Alien Tracker to
go along with the UFO video
568
00:27:58,241 --> 00:27:59,823
I got from Eugena Plunkett.
569
00:27:59,828 --> 00:28:03,241
Did I not tell you to do that
on your own personal time only?
570
00:28:03,246 --> 00:28:04,726
- Yes, you did, sir.
- Okay.
571
00:28:04,731 --> 00:28:09,431
This is personal time. I
had to go to the bathroom.
572
00:28:09,436 --> 00:28:11,961
So I'm counting this
as a bathroom break,
573
00:28:11,966 --> 00:28:14,933
and I'm just gonna
hold it for double long.
574
00:28:15,263 --> 00:28:16,960
Huh.
575
00:28:16,997 --> 00:28:19,042
That logic checks out.
576
00:28:19,219 --> 00:28:21,047
So long as you don't
go to the bathroom again
577
00:28:21,052 --> 00:28:22,559
until you would've gone to the bathroom
578
00:28:22,563 --> 00:28:23,915
if you were going to the bathroom now,
579
00:28:23,919 --> 00:28:25,519
and when you do go to the bathroom then,
580
00:28:25,529 --> 00:28:27,607
you gotta go twice as fast.
581
00:28:27,779 --> 00:28:30,665
Of course. Yeah, that makes sense.
582
00:28:30,748 --> 00:28:32,706
All right, look at that.
We worked that out.
583
00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:34,190
Could you please
584
00:28:34,195 --> 00:28:36,157
hand me some of those
Post-it notes over there?
585
00:28:36,162 --> 00:28:37,628
But not them boring-ass yellow ones.
586
00:28:37,672 --> 00:28:38,713
I'm feelin' frisky. Give me them
587
00:28:38,717 --> 00:28:40,240
fuchsia sumbitches right there.
588
00:28:40,245 --> 00:28:42,552
- Mm, frisky.
- Mm-hmm.
589
00:28:42,557 --> 00:28:44,647
- Yes, sir.
- All right.
590
00:28:44,766 --> 00:28:46,285
I'ma do all sorts of stuff with these.
591
00:28:46,289 --> 00:28:48,921
- I don't wanna know.
- Thank you, Deputy.
592
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:53,378
_
593
00:28:54,389 --> 00:28:55,651
"Thank you for your message.
594
00:28:55,656 --> 00:28:58,732
"The Alien Tracker is
very busy right now.
595
00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:03,112
But check out his upcoming
tour dates below."
596
00:29:05,913 --> 00:29:08,752
I shouldn't have had
that extra iced tea.
597
00:29:09,627 --> 00:29:12,185
The alien baby has not returned.
598
00:29:12,190 --> 00:29:15,759
I need to find it so I can get
the rest of Goliath's message.
599
00:29:15,764 --> 00:29:17,287
Right now, all I know is that
600
00:29:17,292 --> 00:29:20,580
there is another dangerous
alien race already on Earth.
601
00:29:26,112 --> 00:29:27,766
I also know if I can't figure out
602
00:29:27,771 --> 00:29:29,362
how to get the autopsy back,
603
00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:30,851
Asta will end up in Jessup jail,
604
00:29:30,856 --> 00:29:32,901
and I will have to bake
her a cake with a file in it
605
00:29:32,906 --> 00:29:35,336
like the cartoons so she can escape.
606
00:29:35,904 --> 00:29:37,727
I don't want to bake a cake.
607
00:29:37,732 --> 00:29:40,742
Why can't the cartoons bake escape pies?
608
00:29:41,045 --> 00:29:42,743
There he is!
609
00:29:43,037 --> 00:29:45,039
Thought I'd bring some brewskis by,
610
00:29:45,044 --> 00:29:47,133
celebrate your first
day back on the job.
611
00:29:47,138 --> 00:29:48,836
I just saw you today. That is enough.
612
00:29:48,841 --> 00:29:50,709
Ah, that was just
therapy. That doesn't count.
613
00:29:50,714 --> 00:29:52,786
This is the real hang.
Just a couple of dudes,
614
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:55,445
no girls allowed, order some 'za, huh?
615
00:29:55,450 --> 00:29:57,582
- Come on, it'll be fun!
- No.
616
00:29:57,587 --> 00:30:00,445
No, get back in your
car. This is my house.
617
00:30:00,450 --> 00:30:02,104
- Oh, windy out here.
- Leave!
618
00:30:02,109 --> 00:30:03,492
- Yeah, let's go!
- No!
619
00:30:11,043 --> 00:30:13,742
Well, just so you know,
620
00:30:13,747 --> 00:30:16,810
I'm sending you the co-pay
for my next dental bill.
621
00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:21,043
Mm, way to work in
that you have insurance.
622
00:30:21,902 --> 00:30:23,425
That's hot.
623
00:30:23,606 --> 00:30:27,630
A woman who hits on me
with her mouth full... also hot.
624
00:30:30,311 --> 00:30:32,177
Well, I figured that
625
00:30:33,442 --> 00:30:35,618
I owed you the whole dessert menu
626
00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:37,747
after standing you up last time.
627
00:30:37,752 --> 00:30:40,685
- Yeah.
- Yeah, no, that night was just...
628
00:30:43,667 --> 00:30:49,685
- Um, anyway, I'm here now.
- Are you?
629
00:30:50,283 --> 00:30:51,545
Because a few minutes ago,
630
00:30:51,550 --> 00:30:53,281
I asked if you had any
brothers or sisters,
631
00:30:53,286 --> 00:30:54,983
and you said, "Fine, thanks!"
632
00:30:57,110 --> 00:30:59,069
- Did I?
- You know, he waited for you
633
00:30:59,074 --> 00:31:00,815
for three hours.
634
00:31:00,859 --> 00:31:03,035
I respect a man with confidence
635
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,390
to return to the scene of a rejection.
636
00:31:05,395 --> 00:31:08,798
Wow. Damn.
637
00:31:09,596 --> 00:31:11,431
Three hours?
638
00:31:12,269 --> 00:31:13,649
Speaks to a man's character,
639
00:31:13,654 --> 00:31:15,874
puttin' in the time for what he wants.
640
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,745
Careful, D'arcy.
641
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:20,231
Looks like you hooked
yourself a real one.
642
00:31:22,614 --> 00:31:23,920
- He is...
- Rude.
643
00:31:23,925 --> 00:31:25,144
- Direct.
- Rude.
644
00:31:28,806 --> 00:31:31,298
Um, no, that's wrong.
645
00:31:32,342 --> 00:31:34,126
I'm the rude one.
646
00:31:35,333 --> 00:31:37,074
I'm sorry.
647
00:31:37,243 --> 00:31:39,548
I'm here now, and I'm happy to be here.
648
00:31:41,112 --> 00:31:43,259
A little nervous, maybe. But...
649
00:31:44,258 --> 00:31:50,438
I guess some of us feel like
we don't deserve nice things,
650
00:31:50,443 --> 00:31:55,454
and you're a very nice thing.
651
00:31:58,585 --> 00:32:00,829
You're a nice thing too.
652
00:32:21,026 --> 00:32:23,231
Yeah, how do you ruin salmon?
653
00:32:23,789 --> 00:32:25,878
I mean, you basically just
shine a flashlight on it,
654
00:32:25,883 --> 00:32:27,536
and it's done.
655
00:32:27,871 --> 00:32:30,769
This craft beer is 15% alcohol.
656
00:32:30,774 --> 00:32:33,647
Based on his flab to ab ratio,
657
00:32:33,652 --> 00:32:35,916
he will be unconscious in four minutes,
658
00:32:35,921 --> 00:32:37,646
peeing himself in six.
659
00:32:37,651 --> 00:32:39,382
Not on my couch!
660
00:32:39,822 --> 00:32:42,216
What?
661
00:32:42,221 --> 00:32:43,585
Nothing.
662
00:32:45,479 --> 00:32:49,353
Hey, uh... you ever
play any drinking games?
663
00:32:49,358 --> 00:32:50,707
I have a drinking game.
664
00:32:50,751 --> 00:32:52,013
Why don't you call the police
665
00:32:52,018 --> 00:32:54,629
and tell them that I
should do the autopsy?
666
00:32:54,634 --> 00:32:56,621
If you do it, you win!
667
00:32:57,688 --> 00:33:00,326
No way.
668
00:33:00,456 --> 00:33:04,744
Dead guy found in Jessup.
Eh... Jessup murder.
669
00:33:06,742 --> 00:33:09,048
I could've modeled, you know?
670
00:33:09,335 --> 00:33:10,945
Did I ever tell you that?
671
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:15,846
I was scouted at a mall one time.
672
00:33:16,124 --> 00:33:20,924
Guy came up to me,
handed me a business card.
673
00:33:22,087 --> 00:33:25,549
I called it. It's legit.
674
00:33:27,481 --> 00:33:31,822
Told Kate about it
once. She said, "Cool."
675
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:37,140
You know, a guy comes up to
you in a mall, gives you a hug,
676
00:33:37,145 --> 00:33:40,577
offers you a modeling gig...
A little bit more than cool.
677
00:33:40,582 --> 00:33:42,410
You know what is cool?
678
00:33:42,672 --> 00:33:44,239
Murder.
679
00:33:44,244 --> 00:33:46,289
You should fight to have
this one in Patience.
680
00:33:46,294 --> 00:33:50,719
No, we already have enough of those.
681
00:33:50,724 --> 00:33:53,809
Unless the killer, you know,
682
00:33:53,814 --> 00:33:57,296
was somehow standing in Patience,
683
00:33:57,301 --> 00:33:59,297
this is a Jessup problem.
684
00:33:59,646 --> 00:34:00,946
What he doesn't know is,
685
00:34:00,951 --> 00:34:02,823
the real killer was
definitely in Patience
686
00:34:02,828 --> 00:34:04,396
when she shot the man.
687
00:34:05,082 --> 00:34:08,943
I'm going for a walk.
Do not pee on my couch!
688
00:34:09,694 --> 00:34:12,349
He said I had Superman's jawline.
689
00:34:12,354 --> 00:34:13,790
Ouch.
690
00:34:17,325 --> 00:34:20,180
If the mayor is not going to
help me get the autopsy back,
691
00:34:20,185 --> 00:34:21,899
I will do it myself.
692
00:34:26,330 --> 00:34:27,790
Mm.
693
00:34:28,424 --> 00:34:31,601
This is the shell
casing from Asta's rifle.
694
00:34:33,675 --> 00:34:37,157
If I use this correctly,
I can move the focus
695
00:34:37,162 --> 00:34:41,255
of the murder and the
autopsy back to Patience.
696
00:34:53,221 --> 00:34:56,050
This is the shell from
the dead guy's gun...
697
00:34:56,132 --> 00:34:58,395
From the bullet that almost killed me.
698
00:35:03,705 --> 00:35:05,794
Few inches lower and this
would've hit your heart,
699
00:35:05,799 --> 00:35:07,924
- and you'd be dead.
- Mm.
700
00:35:16,015 --> 00:35:17,799
Now the bullet shell is gone,
701
00:35:17,804 --> 00:35:20,459
and it is like I was never shot at all.
702
00:35:20,596 --> 00:35:21,704
Mm.
703
00:35:21,709 --> 00:35:25,118
It does not bother me.
Everything is fine.
704
00:35:26,925 --> 00:35:30,949
Everything is just fine.
705
00:35:49,152 --> 00:35:51,067
So what do you got?
706
00:35:51,187 --> 00:35:53,798
Ha, sorry if we
interrupted your workout.
707
00:35:53,803 --> 00:35:56,023
I run six miles every
morning for a healthy body,
708
00:35:56,028 --> 00:35:58,770
and I do the crossword every
night for a healthy mind.
709
00:35:58,775 --> 00:36:00,849
I can solve a Rubik's Cube.
710
00:36:00,854 --> 00:36:03,953
I learned from a book, but I
don't need the book anymore.
711
00:36:03,958 --> 00:36:05,946
Cool! My little niece can do that.
712
00:36:06,028 --> 00:36:08,509
All right, Detective Torres,
this is Harry Vanderspeigle.
713
00:36:08,514 --> 00:36:10,690
He's our town doctor. He
was gonna do the autopsy
714
00:36:10,695 --> 00:36:12,992
before you decided to steal his body.
715
00:36:12,997 --> 00:36:15,173
All right Dr. V, she's
here. So you wanna tell me
716
00:36:15,178 --> 00:36:16,611
why you got three of
my deputies out there
717
00:36:16,615 --> 00:36:18,400
scouring underneath those trees?
718
00:36:18,405 --> 00:36:23,062
I have a working theory that
I would like to share with you,
719
00:36:23,067 --> 00:36:26,942
with the aid of my
assistant, Judy Pooper.
720
00:36:26,947 --> 00:36:30,995
It's Cooper. Pooper's my butt.
721
00:36:31,357 --> 00:36:34,575
- Judy Cooter.
- Cooper!
722
00:36:35,105 --> 00:36:37,497
Cooter's my lady pocket.
723
00:36:38,330 --> 00:36:40,270
Should we get outside?
724
00:36:41,933 --> 00:36:45,241
There was a perfect line
from those trees over there
725
00:36:45,246 --> 00:36:47,397
to the hot tub.
726
00:36:48,286 --> 00:36:49,490
Go.
727
00:36:52,601 --> 00:36:56,170
With a hunting rifle, the
murderer could have hidden
728
00:36:56,175 --> 00:36:58,646
over there to take the shot.
729
00:36:58,651 --> 00:37:01,828
The shot knocks the
man into the water...
730
00:37:01,833 --> 00:37:03,085
- Bang!
- Oh!
731
00:37:03,090 --> 00:37:05,092
Oh. Ah!
732
00:37:07,491 --> 00:37:10,397
Oh, oh, oh, no. Oh, no.
733
00:37:10,402 --> 00:37:11,659
- What the hell?
- Wow.
734
00:37:11,664 --> 00:37:13,071
Why?
735
00:37:14,058 --> 00:37:15,602
Excuse me.
736
00:37:17,751 --> 00:37:19,710
- Was that good?
- You did not have to
737
00:37:19,715 --> 00:37:23,020
fall in the water. I told her that.
738
00:37:23,409 --> 00:37:27,631
This is dead human soup.
739
00:37:27,636 --> 00:37:31,067
Sheriff, I found a shell
of a hunting rifle.
740
00:37:32,811 --> 00:37:34,247
Look at that.
741
00:37:34,252 --> 00:37:37,217
Well, that looks like an
excellent working theory.
742
00:37:37,777 --> 00:37:40,606
Sir, those trees are on
the Patience side of the line.
743
00:37:41,775 --> 00:37:43,647
Detective, I think we can all agree
744
00:37:43,652 --> 00:37:48,035
that this murder here
crosses county lines.
745
00:37:48,252 --> 00:37:50,906
Dr. Vanderspeigle, you
got a good handle on this.
746
00:37:51,177 --> 00:37:52,700
You should take the autopsy,
747
00:37:52,705 --> 00:37:55,795
and if your theory proves correct,
748
00:37:55,838 --> 00:37:58,319
looks like we might be partners on this.
749
00:37:58,401 --> 00:37:59,837
- Ugh.
- I will be happy
750
00:37:59,842 --> 00:38:01,366
to do the autopsy.
751
00:38:01,636 --> 00:38:04,900
Probably not happy,
because the man is dead.
752
00:38:04,905 --> 00:38:08,858
No, I will be very happy.
753
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:16,459
- Judy...
- This water stinks.
754
00:38:25,733 --> 00:38:27,648
Hey, Asta. I got your text.
755
00:38:27,653 --> 00:38:29,872
- What's going on?
- Hey, um,
756
00:38:29,955 --> 00:38:32,488
I wanted to talk to you about something.
757
00:38:32,493 --> 00:38:34,142
Okay.
758
00:38:34,577 --> 00:38:35,795
Hey, girls!
759
00:38:38,359 --> 00:38:40,441
- Hi, Dan!
- Hi, Dad.
760
00:38:43,011 --> 00:38:44,752
If you tell the police,
761
00:38:44,757 --> 00:38:48,282
then the bad people will know
that you killed their friend,
762
00:38:48,287 --> 00:38:50,245
and then they will come and kill you
763
00:38:50,250 --> 00:38:52,676
and everyone that is close to you.
764
00:38:53,746 --> 00:38:55,325
Hi?
765
00:38:56,288 --> 00:39:00,379
I just wanted to tell you how much
766
00:39:00,384 --> 00:39:04,083
I appreciate you and Mike
and all the hard work you do.
767
00:39:04,298 --> 00:39:06,344
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
768
00:39:06,349 --> 00:39:07,803
You sure that's it?
769
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:12,208
Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
770
00:39:15,004 --> 00:39:17,611
That's it. Okay, thanks.
771
00:39:17,616 --> 00:39:19,428
- Okay, yeah.
- Cool.
772
00:39:24,661 --> 00:39:27,185
The beaver's dexterity
allows it to hold food
773
00:39:27,190 --> 00:39:29,449
in its front paws as it eats.
774
00:39:29,454 --> 00:39:32,108
The herbivore feasts on a quiet...
775
00:39:34,731 --> 00:39:35,916
Took you long enough.
776
00:39:36,156 --> 00:39:37,766
Oh, I'm sorry.
777
00:39:37,771 --> 00:39:41,575
Were you not enjoying the fact
that I am funding your safety?
778
00:39:42,347 --> 00:39:44,855
I'm sorry. I'm just hungry.
779
00:39:44,860 --> 00:39:46,704
I have a problem.
780
00:39:47,206 --> 00:39:50,415
There has to be a mole
somewhere in my organization.
781
00:39:50,477 --> 00:39:52,689
Nobody else knew about our meetup.
782
00:39:52,694 --> 00:39:55,871
Nobody else could've told
that sniper where to be.
783
00:39:55,876 --> 00:40:00,454
So congratulations, you're the
only one who can't be the mole.
784
00:40:00,789 --> 00:40:04,391
- Huh.
- But can I trust you?
785
00:40:04,832 --> 00:40:05,920
Of course.
786
00:40:05,925 --> 00:40:07,883
Then why did I find the alien ball
787
00:40:07,888 --> 00:40:10,151
hidden under the floorboards last night
788
00:40:10,156 --> 00:40:13,362
- after I drugged your food?
- You drugged me?
789
00:40:13,367 --> 00:40:15,935
Do you think I'm
stupid? You held onto this
790
00:40:15,940 --> 00:40:18,841
because it's the only thing
that could've saved your life.
791
00:40:18,846 --> 00:40:21,196
Well, if you've been drugging my food,
792
00:40:21,201 --> 00:40:23,290
then clearly, I can't trust you either.
793
00:40:23,295 --> 00:40:25,841
Good. Now we're on the same page.
794
00:40:25,846 --> 00:40:30,590
We have an unknown common enemy.
795
00:40:30,703 --> 00:40:32,512
We're on the same side now.
796
00:40:37,690 --> 00:40:42,217
Hey, how do I know you're
not just gonna drug me again?
797
00:40:42,222 --> 00:40:43,789
You don't.
798
00:40:48,962 --> 00:40:51,716
Victory! The autopsy is mine.
799
00:40:51,721 --> 00:40:52,940
Now all I have to do
800
00:40:52,945 --> 00:40:54,626
is falsify the results in my favor,
801
00:40:54,631 --> 00:40:57,547
and Asta and I will be free.
802
00:41:00,318 --> 00:41:04,544
- Are you ready?
- Yes.
803
00:41:04,549 --> 00:41:07,082
Here is what I will do.
804
00:41:07,678 --> 00:41:10,550
The time of death was
approximately 11:45 p.m.
805
00:41:10,555 --> 00:41:14,980
I will say it was 4:00
a.m. the next morning.
806
00:41:15,965 --> 00:41:17,339
There is dirt on the body
807
00:41:17,344 --> 00:41:20,298
from when we moved it from the woods.
808
00:41:20,303 --> 00:41:22,480
I will not note that.
809
00:41:22,485 --> 00:41:25,096
There is also bruising on the carcass
810
00:41:25,101 --> 00:41:28,234
from when we dragged it over
the sticks and the pinecones.
811
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:31,048
I will not note that, either.
812
00:41:31,053 --> 00:41:33,055
You shot him from 10 feet away?
813
00:41:33,060 --> 00:41:37,794
I will say that the wound
indicates that he was killed
814
00:41:37,799 --> 00:41:41,281
from 50 feet away, approximately.
815
00:41:41,429 --> 00:41:44,371
Mark the bullet's point of entry.
816
00:41:44,414 --> 00:41:46,831
This is the death hole.
817
00:41:47,243 --> 00:41:49,941
What the hell happened?
818
00:41:51,504 --> 00:41:52,940
Did you mark it?
819
00:42:15,620 --> 00:42:17,839
We have not finished the autopsy.
820
00:42:19,754 --> 00:42:21,408
I can't do it.
821
00:42:21,413 --> 00:42:23,171
Why not?
822
00:42:23,966 --> 00:42:26,077
How do I live with myself?
823
00:42:26,979 --> 00:42:28,596
I killed him.
824
00:42:31,466 --> 00:42:34,208
How do I live the rest
of my life like this?
825
00:42:34,813 --> 00:42:37,231
I just want to forget the whole thing.
826
00:42:37,618 --> 00:42:39,358
I can't do it. I can't!
827
00:42:39,363 --> 00:42:41,778
It is okay.
828
00:42:42,908 --> 00:42:45,867
- It will be okay.
- No, it won't.
829
00:42:47,836 --> 00:42:50,404
It'll never be okay again.
830
00:42:50,564 --> 00:42:53,965
I can feel her pain
as if it is inside me.
831
00:42:55,540 --> 00:42:58,135
If she could just
pretend it did not happen,
832
00:42:58,140 --> 00:42:59,707
she would feel better.
833
00:42:59,828 --> 00:43:01,959
Do not think about the pain.
834
00:43:03,528 --> 00:43:05,399
How?
835
00:43:05,536 --> 00:43:07,662
If she cannot push
the bad feelings away,
836
00:43:07,667 --> 00:43:09,582
I can help her.
837
00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:12,111
I can erase all of her memories
838
00:43:12,116 --> 00:43:14,843
of that night for her, and
she will be happy again.
839
00:43:17,769 --> 00:43:22,295
She will forget, and
everything will be okay.
840
00:43:37,436 --> 00:43:42,436
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
62387
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