All language subtitles for Friends S01E23 eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian Download
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,267 --> 00:00:01,211 Friends S01E23 The One With The Birth (Celui qui a failli rater l'accouchement) (VO&VF+STFR&EN) 2 00:00:05,588 --> 00:00:08,048 Dr. Johnson, you have a call on line 7. 3 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:11,385 She's not here yet. She's having my baby and she's not here. 4 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:14,471 - Everything's fine. Has her water broken? - I don't know. 5 00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:17,766 But when I spoke to her, she said she'd already passed the mucus plug. 6 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,272 Do we have to know about that? 7 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,816 What are you gonna do when you have a baby? 8 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,737 I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars. 9 00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:33,866 Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s. 10 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:39,121 Aah, I don't believe this. I mean, she could be giving birth in the cab. 11 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,414 Oh, Ross, relax. 12 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,750 It's only like $2 for the first contraction... 13 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:46,086 ...and then 50 cents each additional contraction. 14 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,673 What, it's okay when Chandler does it? 15 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,676 You have to pick your moments. 16 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,555 - Hi. Did I miss it? Did I miss it? - No, she's not even here yet. 17 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,515 - Oh. What's with the guitar? 18 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:02,561 I just thought we might be here for a while, so, you know, things might get musical. 19 00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:06,732 ROSS: Hey, where the hell have you been? - We stopped at the gift shop. 20 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,651 I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky. 21 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:13,697 Susan wanted a... You're having a baby. A baby. You don't stop for Chunkys. 22 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:16,617 - I used to have that bumper sticker. - Ha, ha. 23 00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,494 You see what I mean? 24 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,795 - "Stopped for a Chunky." - Let it go, Ross. 25 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,005 I got an extra one. You want this? 26 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,466 No. 27 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,011 Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing? 28 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,805 Dr. Franzblau. Hi. 29 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,933 So I understand you're thinking of having a baby. 30 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,309 Wow. 31 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,062 I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. 32 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,649 - How you doing with your contractions? - Oh, I love them. 33 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,360 Each one's like a little party in my uterus. 34 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,572 Ha, ha. They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds. 35 00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:38,824 Fifty-nine seconds. Quartz. Ha. 36 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,368 Swiss quartz. Ha, ha. 37 00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:46,123 - Am I allowed to drink anything? - Ice chips, just ice chips. 38 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,458 - They're at the nurses' station. - I'll get them. 39 00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:51,795 No, I'm getting it. Be right back. - No, I got it. I'm getting it. 40 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,675 Hi. Thought you might like some ice chips. 41 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,218 Thanks. 42 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,554 And if you need anything else, I... 43 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,639 ...do not believe we have met. Hi. 44 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,642 I'm Rachel Green. 45 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:09,104 I'm Carol's ex-husband's sister's roommate. Ha, ha. 46 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,024 It's nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. 47 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,652 I'm your roommate's brother's ex-wife's obstetrician. 48 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,656 Oh, that's funny. 49 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,456 I want a baby. 50 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,751 Hmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow. 51 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,503 Get up. Come on, let's get some coffee. 52 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:37,049 Oh, okay, because we never do that. 53 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,927 Shoot, shoot, shoot. 54 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:42,137 Or just fall down. That's good too. 55 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,306 Knick fan? Oh, yeah. 56 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,643 - Oh, boy, do they suck. - Hey, listen, lady, I... 57 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,144 Whoa. 58 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,440 Look. Look at your man Ewing. Nice shot. 59 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:56,443 You know, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat. 60 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,111 Oh, yeah? And who do you like? 61 00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,530 - Celtics. - Celtics? Ha! 62 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:03,617 They couldn't hit a boat if... Wait. 63 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,537 They suck, all right? 64 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,374 Shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... 65 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:11,875 - Aah! Aah! - Oh. Aah. 66 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,543 Uh, let me get the father. Hey! 67 00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:16,004 We need a father over here! We need a father! 68 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,506 There's no father. 69 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,424 Oh. Oh. 70 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,676 Oh, sorry. 71 00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,553 Oh, that's okay. I'm fine. I'm... 72 00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,430 - Oh! - Oh, uh... 73 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,099 Okay. All right. Uh, right this way. 74 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,768 All the other pregnant women seem to be going in here. 75 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,228 Okay. 76 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:41,196 They're tiny and chubby And so sweet to touch 77 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:45,033 But soon they'll grow up And resent you so much 78 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:51,039 Now they're yelling at you And you don't know why 79 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:58,505 And you cry and you cry and you cry 80 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,841 - Thanks, Ross. - Yeah. I'm paying you to stop. 81 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,176 Okay. 82 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:08,432 Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute. 83 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:13,520 No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two? 84 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,481 - You'll get one. - Oh, yeah? When? 85 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,025 I'll tell you what. 86 00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:20,569 When we're 40, if neither of us are married... 87 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,613 ...what do you say you and I have one? 88 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,574 Why won't I be married when I'm 40? 89 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,952 Oh, no, no, no. I just meant hypothetically. 90 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,122 Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? 91 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,541 - No, no, no. - No, no, what is it? Seriously. 92 00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,210 Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me? 93 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,630 - Uh... Uh... - Well? 94 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:44,343 Dear God. This parachute is a knapsack. 95 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,513 - Hey. - Hey. Ooh. 96 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,682 - Look at you, dressy-dress. - Yeah. 97 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,726 Did you go home and change? 98 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:56,229 Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. 99 00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:59,066 Um, has Dr. Franzblau been by? 100 00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:01,818 No, I haven't seen him. 101 00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,988 Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. 102 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,159 What if the baby needs him? 103 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,453 Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors? 104 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:15,624 - Is, like, your father a doctor? - Yeah. Why? 105 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,834 No reason. 106 00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:21,963 Mom, we've been through this. 107 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,758 No, I am not calling him. 108 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,886 I don't care if it is his kid. The guy's a jerk. 109 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,973 No, I am not alone. Joey's here. 110 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,643 What do you mean, "Joey who?" 111 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,103 Joey who? 112 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:39,606 - Tribbiani. - Joey Tribbiani. 113 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:44,528 Yes. Okay. Hold on. 114 00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:47,072 - She wants to talk to you. - No. 115 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,032 Take the phone. 116 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,951 Hi. Yeah, it's me. 117 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:55,997 Oh, no, no, no. We're just friends. Yeah. 118 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:58,125 Yeah, I'm single. 119 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,335 Twenty-five. 120 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,753 An actor. 121 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,505 Hello? 122 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,804 - She's not much of a phone person. - Yeah. 123 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,808 So, uh, what's the deal with this father guy? 124 00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:18,854 I mean, if someone was having my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it. 125 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:23,233 Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Um, no. 126 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:28,321 Okay. Uh, look, maybe I should just go. 127 00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:31,199 - Maybe you should. - Good luck. 128 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:34,703 And, uh, take care, huh? 129 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:44,379 Know what the Celtics' problem is? They let the players run the team. 130 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,755 Oh, that is so not true. 131 00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:47,716 - Oh, it is. It is. - It isn't. Isn't. 132 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:50,427 - Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. - Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. 133 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,512 You're gonna kill me! 134 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,475 - Fifteen more seconds. Fourteen, 13, 12... - Count faster. 135 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,811 It's gonna be okay. We're doing it for Jordy. Keep focusing on Jordy. 136 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,104 Who the hell is Jordy? 137 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:03,398 - Your son. - Whoa, whoa whoa. 138 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,858 I don't have a son named Jordy. 139 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:07,152 We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie. 140 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,113 Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend... 141 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,574 ...so we went back to Jordy. 142 00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:13,992 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 143 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,703 What do you mean, "back to Jordy"? We never landed on Jordy. 144 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:22,125 We just passed by it during the whole Jesse/Cody/Dillon fiasco. 145 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,376 Ow, ow, ow! 146 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:25,212 - What? What? What? - Leg cramp, leg cramp. 147 00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,422 ROSS: I got it. I got it. - I got it. I'm doing it. 148 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,008 You get to sleep with her. I get the cramps. 149 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,343 No, you don't. 150 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,803 - That is it. I want both of you out. - What? 151 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,430 - She started it. - He started it. 152 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,640 I don't care. 153 00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:39,059 I'm trying to get a person out of my body here... 154 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:42,687 ...and you're not making it any easier. Now go! 155 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,608 - Thanks a lot. - See what you did? 156 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:49,152 - Yeah. Listen... - Out. 157 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:55,742 Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. 158 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,702 Oh, no. 159 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,080 Ew. 160 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,667 What is that? Something exploded. 161 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,169 It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you? 162 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,714 Water breaking? What do you mean? What's that, water breaking? 163 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:13,510 Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. 164 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:18,557 - Oh, please. This is so your fault. - How? How is this my fault? 165 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,685 Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along. 166 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:25,480 Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along. 167 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:29,568 - Are you trying to be clever? - You are so threatened by me. 168 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:32,779 - Everything I say is a problem. Hey, hey, hey. Okay. All right. 169 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,447 That's it. Get in here. Come on. 170 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:38,410 My God, you guys. I don't believe you. 171 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,746 There are children coming into the world in this very building... 172 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:45,458 ...and your fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. 173 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:48,086 So just stop all the yelling! Just stop it! 174 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,714 Yeah, Susan. 175 00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:54,593 Don't make me do this again! I don't like my voice like this! 176 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:02,225 Okay, who wants to hear something ironic? 177 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:08,565 Help! 178 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,108 Come on! Help! 179 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,902 I'm having a baby in there! Hello? 180 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:15,238 - Help! Okay, everyone stand back. 181 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:20,785 Ow. 182 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:25,332 Are they here yet? 183 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,917 No, honey, but don't worry, we're gonna find them. 184 00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:31,254 And until we do, we are all here for you, okay? 185 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:32,839 - Okay. Okay. Okay? 186 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:36,509 Anyway, you were telling me about Paris. It sounds wonderful. 187 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:40,138 It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel... 188 00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:44,601 There you go, dear. You... 189 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,770 Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push. 190 00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:50,148 Push him out, push him out. Harder, harder. 191 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,609 Push him out, push him out. Way out. 192 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,612 Let's get that ball and really move. Hey, hey. Ho, ho. 193 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:56,863 Let's get... 194 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,242 I was just... Yeah, okay. 195 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,703 Push, push, push. 196 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,416 What are you gonna do, suck the door open? 197 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:14,381 - Help! Help! Help! - Help! 198 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:18,677 And they found their bodies The very next day 199 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:22,764 And they found their bodies The very next... 200 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,517 La, la, la, la, la, la 201 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,477 Help! 202 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:32,190 No, Mom, everything's going fine, really. Yeah, Ross is great. He's, uh... 203 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:36,945 He's in a whole other place. Yeah. No, he's gone. 204 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,281 No, no, you don't have to fly back. Really. 205 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,575 What do you mean, this might be your only chance? 206 00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:45,120 Oh. Would you stop? I'm only 26. 207 00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,122 I'm not even thinking about babies yet. 208 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,347 - Where have you been? JOEY: Oh, I just had a baby. 209 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,684 Mazel tov. 210 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,982 I don't know. It could be an hour, it could be three. 211 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,109 But relax, she's doing great. 212 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:20,864 So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone? 213 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:24,075 No. No, not at... At the moment, no, I'm not, no. 214 00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,035 - Are you? - No, no. 215 00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:28,079 It's hard enough to get women to go out with me. 216 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:32,167 Heh. Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors. 217 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:33,877 No, no, really. 218 00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:38,548 I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know... 219 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,341 ...where I do. 220 00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,012 - Oh. - Mm. 221 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:48,892 I try not to let work affect my personal life, but it's hard when you do... 222 00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,770 ...what I do. It's like, uh... 223 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,189 Well, for instance, what do you do? 224 00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,983 - I'm a waitress. - Okay, all right. 225 00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:00,320 Well, aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day... 226 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:04,949 ...and you're just like, "If I see one more cup of coffee..." 227 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,831 Ahem. Yeah. Gotcha. 228 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:17,754 - I'm gonna check up on your friend. - Okay, that's fine. 229 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:29,390 - So how did you know I was even here? Your mom called me. 230 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,726 So is this her? 231 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,645 No, this is a loaner. 232 00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,899 Listen, I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself. 233 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:43,988 Oh. I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse and a helper guy. 234 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,242 So did you see who won the game? 235 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:50,954 Yeah, Knicks by 10. They suck. 236 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,915 Eh, they're not so bad. 237 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,730 Come on. Come on. 238 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:24,070 Damn it, damn it, damn it. This is all your fault. 239 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,948 This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life. 240 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:30,076 My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know? 241 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,161 Instead I'm stuck in a closet with you. 242 00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:35,665 I've been waiting for this just as much as you have. 243 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:39,002 Believe me, no one has been waiting for this as much as I have, okay? 244 00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,879 And you know what the funny thing is? 245 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,631 When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby. 246 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,217 - Where does that leave me? - You get to be the father. 247 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:50,138 Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Father's Day. There's Mother's Day. 248 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,599 There's no Lesbian Lover Day. 249 00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:55,226 Every day is Lesbian Lover Day. 250 00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,814 This is so great. 251 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,570 You wanna explain that? 252 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,532 I mean, well, because when I was growing up, you know, my dad left... 253 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,744 ...and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail. 254 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:16,664 So I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. 255 00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:21,336 And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents... 256 00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:25,256 ...who care about it so much that they fight over who gets to love it the most... 257 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,842 ...and it's not even born yet. 258 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,553 It's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. 259 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,433 I'm sorry. You were fighting. 260 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,020 Where are they? 261 00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:42,190 - I'm sure they'll be here soon. - They wouldn't miss this. 262 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:47,362 Relax. You're only at nine centimeters, and the baby's at zero station. 263 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,575 Okay, you are really frightening me. 264 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,580 Somebody wanna help me? Trying to rip out my heart. 265 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:02,210 Uh... Oh, that's great. Anybody seen a nipple? 266 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:06,464 All right. Ten centimeters. Here we go. 267 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,926 - All right, honey, time to start pushing. - But they're not here yet. 268 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,220 Sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them. 269 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,223 Oh, God. 270 00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,228 Okay, got the vent open. 271 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,813 Hi, I'm Ben. 272 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,359 I'm hospital worker Ben. 273 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,361 It's Ben to the rescue. 274 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,947 La, la, la - Okay, okay, okay. 275 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,198 - Ben, you ready? - Yeah. 276 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,033 - All right, give me your foot. - Okay. 277 00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:38,204 - Okay, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Unh. Ooh. 278 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:42,583 - Come on, Ben. Okay. That's it, Ben. Okay. Uh-huh. 279 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,460 What do you see? 280 00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:48,381 Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. 281 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:49,882 Wait. 282 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:53,594 Yes, it is, in fact, a dark vent. 283 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,891 Pheebs, it's open! It's open! 284 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:05,231 Wait! You forgot your legs! 285 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,026 Push. Push. - We're here! 286 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,822 We're here. - Where have you been?! 287 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,115 Long story, honey. 288 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,451 All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. 289 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,411 I need... Excuse me, can I have this? 290 00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:20,246 Oh, sorry. 291 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,664 All right, all right. 292 00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,917 There's too many people in this room. There's about to be one more. 293 00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:29,464 So anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go. 294 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,340 - Come on, out. Okay, good luck. 295 00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,676 - Bye, bye, bye. - Good luck, you guys, good luck. 296 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,805 Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner? 297 00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:39,515 Out. 298 00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:43,227 All right. All right, he's crowning. Here he comes. 299 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:46,230 Let me see. I gotta see, I gotta see. 300 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,066 Oh... Oh. 301 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,319 Oh! A head. 302 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:54,489 Oh. It's huge. Carol, how are you doing this? 303 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,825 Not helping. 304 00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,952 You're doing great. You're doing fine. 305 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,121 - Hello? - Oh, sorry. 306 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,248 What do you see? What do you see? 307 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,959 We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got... 308 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:10,171 Oh, look at the little... The fingers. 309 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,672 Oh, a chest and a stomach... 310 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,759 ...and it's a boy, definitely a boy. 311 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:18,262 All right. Okay, legs, knees and feet. 312 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,514 Oh, oh. 313 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,687 He's here. He's... 314 00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:28,439 He's a person. 315 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,690 Oh! 316 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,859 - Look at that. - What does he look like? 317 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:36,030 Kind of like my Uncle Ed, covered in Jell-O. 318 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,032 Really? 319 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,743 You guys, he's beautiful. 320 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:43,329 Aw, thanks, Pheebs. 321 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:53,673 No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy. 322 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,717 How about Ben? 323 00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,011 I like Ben. 324 00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:02,557 Ben. 325 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:05,935 - Ha, ha. Ben's good. - Yeah? 326 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,187 How come you never mentioned Ben before? 327 00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:11,440 - We, uh, just cooked it up. Ha, ha. 328 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,777 That's what we were off doing. 329 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,029 - Hi. - Hey. 330 00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:19,782 - Can we come in? - Yeah, come in. Come in. 331 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,749 I know. I know. 332 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:31,752 Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. 333 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,921 Yeah. This is Ben. 334 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:35,673 - Hi, Ben. - Hi, Ben. 335 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,634 - Ben, this is everybody. - Hey, Ben. 336 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:41,637 Susan, he looks just like you. 337 00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,808 Thanks. Ha, ha. 338 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:49,312 Oh, God, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these. 339 00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:51,981 I know. I still am one of these. 340 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:55,818 - Ross? Yeah? 341 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,528 Can I? 342 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:03,034 Okay, the head, the head. You gotta... 343 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:10,374 Hi, Ben. Hi. 344 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:13,336 I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes, I am. 345 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:16,255 I'm your Aunt Monica. 346 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,508 I... 347 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,054 I will always have gum. 348 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:29,268 Ben... 349 00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:32,772 ...I want you to know that there may be some times... 350 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,650 ...when I may not be around... 351 00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,401 ...like this. 352 00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:42,949 But I'll still always come back... 353 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,576 ...like this. 354 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:50,539 And sometimes I may be away longer... 355 00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,375 ...like this. 356 00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,464 But I'll still always come back... 357 00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:02,843 ...like this. 358 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:09,016 And sometimes I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. 359 00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,610 Oh, he is so amazing. 360 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,238 Yeah, I know. Look at him. 361 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,950 Ben. 362 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,785 Hey, Ben. 363 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:31,664 Nothing. I don't think that's his name. 364 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:35,876 Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. 365 00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,921 Oh, look, he's opening his eyes. 366 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:43,551 He doesn't do much, does he? 367 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:46,554 Nope, this is pretty much it. 368 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,981 - You guys wanna get some coffee? Yeah. 369 00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:59,984 All right, I'll see you guys later. 370 00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:10,703 Hi, Ben. 371 00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,789 - I love you. - Hi, Ben. 372 00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:35,561 Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again. 28422

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.