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Narrator: Previously on weeds:
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00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:09,747
Vaneeta:
Can you imagine, though?
3
00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:13,222
Boy out jogging with his daddy,
boom, daddy drop.
4
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:15,562
If my husband dropped
dead, I'd suck out, lift up
5
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:17,305
and inject anything that moved.
6
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:18,836
Woman 1:
I heard there was nothing.
7
00:00:18,895 --> 00:00:20,475
Woman 2:
I wonder how she's getting by.
8
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,266
Heylia:
Drugs sell themselves, biscuit.
9
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,190
Josh: "Keep kids off drugs,"
cries the pot-dealing mom.
10
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,919
If it gets you through the
night, good for you, Nance.
11
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,914
Can we have sex in your house?
12
00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:31,491
Nice.
13
00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:34,617
Her husband's boning a tennis pro.
Nancy: Helen chin?
14
00:00:35,912 --> 00:00:38,122
That little cunt.
15
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:34,013
Man:
And five, six, seven, eight...
16
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,563
Sell it, ladies.
17
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And, go!
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Give me shoulders.
Give me attitude.
19
00:01:41,978 --> 00:01:43,398
Heads down, ladies.
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00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,193
Woman 1:
You know about Celia's husband.
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00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:47,777
Sleeping with the tennis pro.
22
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:50,402
He's homosexual?
Not Victor, the oriental girl.
23
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:53,319
Helen chin? She completely
transformed my serve.
24
00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:55,739
I hope they don't fire her.
Ladies.
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00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:57,198
Throwing stones in a glass room?
26
00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:59,078
Woman 2:
We're gossiping about Celia.
27
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Nancy: Lovely.
28
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,374
Come on, Nancy, it's harmless fun.
Probably not for Celia.
29
00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:06,001
Oh, please. Celia wasn't
programmed to feel.
30
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:08,548
Why don't you chat about
who your husbands are fucking.
31
00:02:08,713 --> 00:02:11,473
Oh, look, here come the girls.
32
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:15,342
You take care, Nancy. It must
be so hard for you being all alone.
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00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:16,931
God bless.
34
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,637
Mom?
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00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:23,228
I thought blanca was picking
me up after school.
36
00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:26,524
Yes, well, surprise.
37
00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:29,479
Blanca had to take
your sister to the airport.
38
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:33,070
The airport? Where's she going?
39
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:37,777
Quinn is on her way to
boarding school in Mexico.
40
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,220
Isabelle:
She didn't say anything.
41
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:41,043
Yeah, well, not a sentimentalist,
your sister.
42
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:42,793
Can we talk about this
in the car?
43
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,205
But—— in the car.
44
00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:46,713
Go change your clothes.
I'll meet you at the desk. Go on.
45
00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:49,208
Man: Karate class will
be starting in just a minute.
46
00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:50,963
Mr. St. denis,
so nice to see you.
47
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:54,340
Always a pleasure, Mrs. Botwin.
Shane's doing very well in karate.
48
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,838
I'm so glad to hear that.
49
00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:59,471
Mom, the lady at the desk
says you need to pay.
50
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:02,978
Nancy: I wrote a cheque last week.
She said your cheque didn't clear.
51
00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:04,642
There must be some explanation.
52
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,190
Yeah. You don't have any money
in your checking account.
53
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:10,075
I'll go to the desk, and straighten
everything out. Go back to class.
54
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,571
I gotta pee.
Fine, hurry up. Hold up the belt.
55
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,585
Remember to hold up the belt,
so it doesn't get wet.
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00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:15,612
Shane: Mom!
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00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,780
Hey, Nancy. Hi, Celia.
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00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,658
[M1
59
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:26,119
Nancy, hey. Check this out.
60
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,418
Oh, shit! Nancy, I am so sorry.
61
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,835
What did you just Chuck
at my face?
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00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:34,554
It's called a "roomerang."
And when you throw it...
63
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,385
It's supposed to come back to you, when
someone else's face doesn't get in the way.
64
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,112
But I'm not saying
you did that on purpose.
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00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,217
Can I have a tissue?
66
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,349
Oh, sure. Here.
67
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:46,347
Doug, we need to talk.
68
00:03:46,519 --> 00:03:48,849
Oh, no. No, no.
Don't tell me you're dry.
69
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:52,781
I'm not dry, Doug. I'm broke.
Thank god.
70
00:03:52,942 --> 00:03:55,692
Maybe I should save some
money by firing my accountant.
71
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,701
Okay. Well, let's not get carried
away. We should brainstorm on this.
72
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,914
Have some dialogue,
confab, powwow.
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00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,585
Can't believe I trust you
with my money.
74
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:05,198
You're an idiot.
I'm an idiot savant.
75
00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:09,041
Say what you will about me
personally, but I am a great fucking cpa.
76
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,588
You won't let me deposit cash
in my checking account.
77
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,212
I'm running all over town
paying my bills with cash.
78
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:17,880
Because I can't have a paper trail of
cash deposits. You gotta trust me on this.
79
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:19,800
What am I supposed to do,
sell my house?
80
00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:21,329
How about lupita,
your housekeeper?
81
00:04:21,387 --> 00:04:26,387
She's like family. And since her daughter's
still in court-reporting school...
82
00:04:26,559 --> 00:04:30,939
I started selling so I could maintain
my lifestyle, not dismantle it.
83
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:34,275
Well, you're gonna have to sell more.
Nancy, it's the oldest rule in business:
84
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:36,572
Buy low, sell high.
85
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,449
You get it? Sell high.
86
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,914
If you ever make a business card,
you could use that.
87
00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:45,736
Doug.
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00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:49,542
Okay. All right, listen.
I've been working on setting up
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00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:53,167
a small business loan for you so we
can have a front to launder money through.
90
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:56,125
This way you can replenish your
checking account, pay some bills.
91
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:57,587
And boom: Bob's your uncle.
92
00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:59,926
What's my legitimate small business?
I don't know.
93
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:03,052
Pick something. Papennork's all the
same. Just let me know what you want.
94
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:06,140
Could my cover business
eventually become my real business?
95
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:08,807
In this economy,
small business is fucked.
96
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,766
But that'll be good for us. Don't
worry about it. Just pick something
97
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,937
with a low inventory, okay?
98
00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:15,356
I am so screwed.
99
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,324
Now, stop that.
Everything's gonna be great.
100
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:20,695
I'm guaranteeing you at least
seven customers at tomorrow's game.
101
00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:23,823
Oh, and if you could be here by 8,
that would be perfecto.
102
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,326
How about a little cash up front?
103
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,287
Sure.
104
00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:37,132
Shit, I'm all tapped out.
I'll hit the atm later. I promise.
105
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,879
I'd offer to write you a cheque,
but that seems insensitive.
106
00:05:42,051 --> 00:05:44,351
Not to mention unwise,
because if you should get caught,
107
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,392
I can't have it coming back to me.
108
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,894
Silas, is there a phone
off the hook upstairs?
109
00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:53,150
Silas: It's dead. What?
110
00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:56,361
It's dead.
All the phones are dead.
111
00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:58,694
Oh, shit.
112
00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:02,029
Don't worry.
113
00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:05,282
I'll go on-line, pay it right now.
114
00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:10,961
Why can't I get on-line?
115
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,001
Because dsl is connected
through the phone.
116
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,785
I'll give you 50 bucks right now
117
00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:17,339
if you don't give me any grief
about this.
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00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,172
Cool.
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00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:23,089
Hey. You haven't talked to
Quinn's mom lately, have you?
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00:06:23,259 --> 00:06:26,849
I saw her at karate.
You didn't say anything to her, right?
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00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,432
About what?
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00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,677
You know, about how you
caught me and Quinn.
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00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,349
Why would you think that?
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00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:36,518
Because I haven't heard from Quinn,
and she wasn't at school.
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00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:38,399
I don't know. I just...
126
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:41,856
I don't get it.
She didn't say goodbye?
127
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:44,106
Goodbye?
What do you mean, goodbye?
128
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:48,370
I heard Celia saying something
about Quinn going to Mexico.
129
00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:50,661
Mexico?
130
00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:53,038
I don't know, I overheard.
131
00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:55,958
Quinn...
132
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:58,998
Quinn wouldn't go to Mexico
without telling me.
133
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:02,625
I'm sorry, honey.
I don't know the whole story.
134
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:06,008
You're sorry? She's
probably been trying to call me.
135
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,296
What the hell is the matter
with this family
136
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,970
that we can't even have
a goddamn working phone?
137
00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:12,470
Such a fucking mess.
138
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,391
Silas. Hi, missus.
139
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,310
Hi, lupita. How you doing?
140
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,149
I think I have the menopause.
141
00:07:19,315 --> 00:07:22,685
I'm thinking I'm gonna
have another baby, and I cry.
142
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:25,650
And then I hear,
"no, it is the menopause."
143
00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:27,451
And I say, "thank you, god."
144
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,538
So you no pay me last week.
145
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:34,498
I didn't? You no pay me.
146
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:37,373
Are you sure? You pay me now?
147
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,010
Okay, gracias.
148
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:52,506
Shane: Good morning, I am
Shane botwin and I am 10 years old today.
149
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,391
And I have been told that these
are the people responsible.
150
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:58,599
Turn it off.
To celebrate this, my natal day,
151
00:07:58,771 --> 00:08:01,231
I have asked for
the megatech radio-controlled
152
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:04,608
blimp-ufo combo,
a night-vision binocular
153
00:08:04,777 --> 00:08:09,697
and the DVD of Stephen chow's
cinematic masterpiece, Shaolin soccer.
154
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:12,525
I wonder if these so-ca/ied
parents of mine
155
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:15,041
have purchased
any of these items.
156
00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:18,374
Let's see what the alleged
parental units have to say.
157
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:19,880
Honey.
158
00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:21,542
Show Shane your stretch marks.
159
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:22,840
Nancy: Show him yours.
160
00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:26,634
You know, you were not born
161
00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:29,549
until 4:00 in the afternoon,
so you, my friend,
162
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,178
are not officially 10 years old yet.
163
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,136
Shane:
Will you make me pizza eggs?
164
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:40,015
Hey, we got any leftover pizza?
Nancy: Yes.
165
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:45,145
Then / will make you pizza eggs,
but not because it's your birthday.
166
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,987
But because I'm feeling
a little bit peck/sh myself,
167
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:51,493
and your mother's not a
morning person. And I love you.
168
00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:55,037
Shane: And it's my birthday.
And it's your birthday.
169
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,412
Shane: Do you think I'm weird?
170
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:59,788
Nancy: Yes!
Totally weird. But you're awesome.
171
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:03,747
And I wouldn't trade you in for any
other almost-10-year—old on earth.
172
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:07,629
Shane: What if there's life on other
planets, and there's an unbelievable, amazing
173
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:09,798
10-year-old out there?
174
00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,297
Why would I trade down, man?
175
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,560
To me, you're the best, dude.
176
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:20,143
You are the amazing,
unbelievable Shane botwin.
177
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:25,269
Amazing, unbelievable
Shane botwin.
178
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:30,107
Amazing, unbelievable
Shane botwin.
179
00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:37,947
It's amazing the guy would
even consider a plea of not guilty.
180
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:41,422
Amazing.
Part of me thinks he actually
181
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:44,002
believes his own bullshit,
which is just scary.
182
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:47,918
[M1
183
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:05,605
You think it's safe I take two Ambien?
Could really use some good sleep tonight.
184
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,903
I think you should take
the whole bottle.
185
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,198
Funny.
186
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,619
Night, dear.
187
00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:26,632
[M1
188
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,568
Dean?
189
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:55,238
You awake?
190
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,495
Did your hair go to boarding
school in Mexico too?
191
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,389
I don't know
what you're talking about.
192
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,440
Where is she?
193
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:29,733
Silas, come over here and hold
this sign, so I can staple.
194
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,858
Were you so threatened
195
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,275
by your daughter's sexuality
that you had to ship her off?
196
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:38,195
Pardon me?
Who told you we had sex?
197
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:43,164
Young man, this is the first
that I'm hearing that you
198
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:46,618
and my daughter had sex. Although
now that I've been made aware,
199
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,880
I'm tempted to bring her home,
just so I can ship her off again.
200
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,593
The little slut. How dare you!
201
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,384
Tell me where she is! Why?
202
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,469
So you can fly down to Mexico
203
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,554
and spring her
from casa reforma?
204
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:04,140
I love her.
You stuck your penis in her.
205
00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:10,647
That's not love, believe me.
206
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,734
If you didn't know about us,
then why is she in Mexico?
207
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:16,451
That's a private family matter.
I am her family.
208
00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:18,202
Oh, god.
209
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,913
Poor thing.
210
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:24,793
Do you really think that my daughter
had deep romantic feelings for you?
211
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,583
Is that what you think?
212
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:30,787
Now I'm sure that you were a fun
and sweaty diversion for her.
213
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:34,669
But the truth is, Quinn had a day and
a half to get all of her ducks in a row
214
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:38,258
before going to Mexico,
and she didn't call you.
215
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:43,352
She didn't write or im
or e-mail you either, did she?
216
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:48,227
But I'll tell you what she did do. She
downloaded 2000 songs into her iPod
217
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,193
and dyed her hair pink
with black on the tips.
218
00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:55,145
Because all that Quinn
cares about is Quinn.
219
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:58,027
She takes after her father
that way.
220
00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:02,873
Poor schmuck.
221
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:07,872
Heylia: Oh, you poor
schmuck. You just played wrong.
222
00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:11,464
That's a boat. Mark that.
223
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:15,087
So wait, a boat is when
the four ends add up to 20?
224
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,343
A boat is when I spank
this boy's black ass
225
00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:20,006
for thinking he all that with
his three switching bitches.
226
00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:24,005
Three switching bitches?
It's 15. And a boat is 20.
227
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:26,679
Stop fucking with her.
She's trying to learn the game.
228
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,058
Then log off of
"hot Asian chicks suck ass"
229
00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:32,516
and you teach her.
I'm bidding for rims on eBay.
230
00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:36,478
Just like a nigga to buy new rims for his
bucket before it's even got a steering wheel.
231
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:39,610
You can kiss my ass. I just put a
steering wheel in there two days ago.
232
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:41,108
Okay, well, then.
233
00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:45,701
Tennis-shoe pimp. That's 200.
234
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,617
And break out
the peppermint lotion
235
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:49,366
because you're going to
massage my feet.
236
00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:53,328
What would you have gotten
if you won?
237
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,960
She was gonna baby-sit.
238
00:13:55,127 --> 00:13:57,837
What am I gonna tell raysha?
Heylia: Tell her the truth, baby.
239
00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:00,465
That you a stinky, foot-rubbing loser.
240
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,051
I'll watch the kids.
For nothing?
241
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:05,468
It's his anniversary.
Oh, that's so sweet.
242
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:06,877
How long have you been married?
243
00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,452
Heylia:
Since raysha got big with shay
244
00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:11,847
and her daddy told keeyon
he'd be all bun if he didn't do right.
245
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:15,109
All bun? You know, um,
246
00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:16,402
hot dog.
247
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,916
Heylia: You know, you need to
pay vaneeta if she gonna baby-sit.
248
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:22,363
Is this your business?
Everything is my business.
249
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,159
Um...
250
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:26,372
Speaking of business...
251
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,123
Yes?
252
00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:30,785
I was... I was wondering
what your credit policy was?
253
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:34,834
What you think? This ain't fucking
Macy's. You get what you pay for.
254
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,590
Because...
255
00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:39,502
I'm a little short this week,
256
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:43,965
but there are people waiting,
and I promise I'll come right back.
257
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:46,644
Uh-huh. You bet your sweet
ass you'll come right back.
258
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:49,103
You want weed on credit,
you got to leave some collateral.
259
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:50,934
You believe this girl?
Like what?
260
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,769
You got some nice shoes.
What size you wear?
261
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,765
How much you need?
An ounce, maybe two.
262
00:14:56,938 --> 00:15:00,108
Hell, no. Shoes ain't gonna
cover that shit.
263
00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:02,815
How about I hold on
to that nice rock you wearing?
264
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:08,661
All right, all right,
I'm not unreasonable.
265
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,615
Sentimental value and all that.
266
00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:16,748
Leave your car instead.
My car? I'm leasing it.
267
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:20,417
Then you really gonna want
to get it back then, aren't you?
268
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,127
How am I gonna get home?
269
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,506
Take Conrad's bucket.
270
00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:30,182
White lady in the hooptie?
Oh, you gotta let me get a picture.
271
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,557
Not my baby. Heylia: That's it.
272
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,894
Range rover for stony clover.
273
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,300
Conrad: Heylia, I've been
working on that car for a year.
274
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,917
Vaneeta:
And it still looks like shit.
275
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,279
So, what's it gonna be?
276
00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:48,534
Conrad, give her
the keys to the hooptie.
277
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:53,286
It's a classic.
Nancy: I promise, I'll treat her
278
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:56,163
like she was my very own.
It only takes super.
279
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,171
You gotta check the water. Okay.
280
00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,333
And the oil.
281
00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:00,811
Don't you think
you should leave those shoes?
282
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,556
And the coolant.
Girl, you better get out of here
283
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,007
before vaneeta strip you down.
284
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:24,441
Man: From public
radio international, this is the world.
285
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:43,546
Nice doing business with you guys.
286
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,926
Have a good game.
287
00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:52,433
Hey, does anybody have
any money left to play with?
288
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:54,216
Man: Not me. I'm done.
289
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:57,479
Fuck it then. Let's get high and
make fun of Dean's bald head.
290
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:01,898
[M1
291
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,122
Ceha? Nancy?
292
00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:15,366
Hello.
293
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,406
What are you doing out here?
294
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:21,419
Oh, I had to sign some papers
in Doug's office.
295
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,795
I followed Dean here.
296
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,968
Did you see him? Yes, I did.
297
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:32,434
They were
298
00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,304
playing poker. Oh, great.
299
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:39,101
Now he's gonna come home broke
and stinking of marijuana.
300
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,267
Guess that's better
than oriental pussy.
301
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,516
Excuse me?
302
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,607
Oh, come on, Nancy.
I know you know.
303
00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:46,193
Everybody knows.
304
00:17:46,358 --> 00:17:48,818
There are no secrets
in this town.
305
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,605
Maybe a few. No.
306
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:54,619
None. You're having money
problems. Our children had sex.
307
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:57,703
Judy Gordon orders oxycontin
over the Internet
308
00:17:57,869 --> 00:18:00,959
and has developed quite the habit.
"Jesus-loves-you" Judy?
309
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:05,422
"Jesus-loves-you" Judy
loves her hillbilly heroin.
310
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:09,295
But you didn't hear that from me.
I don't like gossip.
311
00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:11,384
Where's your car?
312
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,795
I don't know, I parked...
313
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:20,731
I think I parked on the other side of
the building. This place is so confusing.
314
00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,982
Do you want a lift?
315
00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:25,809
No, you know.
316
00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:28,821
Not now. You know, I'd rather walk.
317
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:33,816
What about you? You're not gonna
sit here all night, though, are you?
318
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,699
Well, I was thinking of tracking
down the tennis whore
319
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,906
and beating her to death
with a tyre iron.
320
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:43,287
But I forgot to set my TiVo
for the shield, so I think I'll go home.
321
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,712
Love Michael chiklis.
322
00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:50,759
Good night, Nancy.
See you, Celia.
323
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:58,564
Nancy: Hello?
324
00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:00,721
Hello?
325
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:02,980
Lupfia.
326
00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:06,896
Lupita: You hungry? I
can warm up some pasta.
327
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,523
No, thanks.
328
00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:11,692
Silas. Honey?
329
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:15,815
He been like that
since after school, all day.
330
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,909
He don't eat. He don't move.
331
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:22,785
Judah: Right, isn't this
cool? This is better than Silas' polar/um.
332
00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,214
Nancy: Oh, my god.
333
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,542
Shane: Dad, vorilium.
Nancy: Maybe just one...
334
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,209
Shane: Mom! No, no! Nancy: Oh!
335
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,338
Shane, Shane, Shane, relax.
We can fix it.
336
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,755
Shane:
337
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:37,893
Shane, look at me. We can fix this.
Everything's gonna be okay, buddy.
338
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,348
You got that, mom?
339
00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,219
Dad made it all better.
340
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,020
Nancy: Silas, honey.
341
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,314
What's going on?
342
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,110
I don't wanna talk about it.
343
00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:56,236
Silas, I know things have been
a little bumpy around here lately...
344
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:59,994
She didn't even give a shit about me.
She?
345
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:02,118
Oh. Um...
346
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,252
Honey, of course she did. It's just...
No.
347
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:10,625
She just took off without
even bothering to say goodbye.
348
00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:15,085
My whole fucking life,
people just go away.
349
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,683
Shane: Ah! Mom!
350
00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:26,142
Jesus, Shane.
351
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:31,019
What happened? I call 911. Hello?
Shane: Ow! I think I broke my arm.
352
00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:33,022
Fucking perfect,
the phone's still dead.
353
00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:35,361
You don't say "fucking"
to your mother!
354
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,701
Woman 1:
Dr. Hoffman, extension 4-2-1-7.
355
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,374
Woman 2: Ma'am?
356
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:43,953
Ma'am, how will you be paying?
357
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:46,374
Cash.
358
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,960
I know what you did!
359
00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:54,463
I know you stole that goat.
Woman 2: Mr. Norman.
360
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,338
Goat thief!
361
00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:58,146
Woman 2: Mr. Norman,
step back into your line.
362
00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:02,554
I know, it's the economy, stupid.
But that goat didn't belong to you.
363
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,140
He was a free goat.
364
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,805
Mom, it really hurts.
It's throbbing.
365
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:10,095
It's throbbing, mom.
Back off, nutty!
366
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:14,983
Norman: You're a crybaby.
367
00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:23,157
I'm gonna take your free goat
and shove it straight up your ass!
368
00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:24,834
What goat?
369
00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:27,543
Woman, you are light.
370
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:30,334
You are lighter than Michael
Jackson, you so light.
371
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:33,168
Where is my money?
Shane broke his arm last night.
372
00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:37,924
Sorry to hear that.
373
00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:40,844
Where is my money?
I'll get it, I swear.
374
00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:44,009
I need more inventory.
I'll pay everything back.
375
00:21:44,179 --> 00:21:45,719
Sure, you will.
376
00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:50,229
But until then, it's time to give it up,
the shiny bits.
377
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,560
You have my car.
378
00:21:52,729 --> 00:21:54,859
I can't sell no leased car.
379
00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:57,193
Now, you want more,
you got to leave more.
380
00:21:57,358 --> 00:22:00,398
And you got a shitty watch, and
you're buying knock-off handbags.
381
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:03,450
It's just business, baby.
Now, I know you got troubles,
382
00:22:03,615 --> 00:22:06,525
but like my mamma always said,
tough shit.
383
00:22:06,701 --> 00:22:10,041
Do you have a cover business?
Of course I do.
384
00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:14,035
Got me a Jew out in century city who set me up.
Now, I know he's skimming cream off the top,
385
00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:16,539
but he makes everything seem
real nice on paper.
386
00:22:16,711 --> 00:22:20,261
You looking at the president and
chief executive officer of tidy up inc.
387
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:23,643
Got me a Van out back and everything.
Maid service?
388
00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:26,391
Housecleaner.
I ain't nobody's maid.
389
00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:30,234
Conrad: You ain't no housecleaner
neither. You a weed dealer with a front.
390
00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:31,981
And these are my employees.
391
00:22:32,143 --> 00:22:35,153
What do you do if somebody
actually calls to get his house cleaned?
392
00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:39,233
Then I refer him to my cousin zondra,
who cleans for real. She don't make shit.
393
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,490
But zondra found the lord,
so she don't care.
394
00:22:41,653 --> 00:22:44,573
Conrad: One day we gonna all
retire to a beach house in the Caribbean.
395
00:22:44,739 --> 00:22:47,079
Keeyon: Till some "wrath
of god" type shit happens
396
00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:49,452
and washes everything away
in a tidal wave
397
00:22:49,619 --> 00:22:51,119
like those poor fuckers
in Indonesia.
398
00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:52,657
Uh-uh. Not me.
399
00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:55,420
Vaneeta:
Tsunami. It's called a "Tsunami."
400
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,748
I love the sound of that word.
401
00:22:57,919 --> 00:23:00,669
Conrad: Knowing you, you'd
probably name the baby Tsunami.
402
00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:03,168
Vaneeta: I don't care what
you say, that's a pretty name.
403
00:23:03,341 --> 00:23:06,591
Heylia: Uh-uh. You are not naming
my grandbaby after some killer wave.
404
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,930
And we ain't getting
no beach house neither.
405
00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:12,228
I can't stand the sand.
406
00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:16,442
Sand, blood and relatives,
can't never get rid of them.
407
00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:20,819
See y'all later.
408
00:23:23,778 --> 00:23:25,458
Vaneeta:
How much you think we get for that?
409
00:23:25,488 --> 00:23:27,028
Nothing.
410
00:23:29,033 --> 00:23:30,493
She'll be back.
411
00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:46,221
Helen: Oh, shit.
Oh, you have no idea.
412
00:23:46,676 --> 00:23:48,926
Wait. Let's not do this here.
413
00:23:49,178 --> 00:23:52,018
No? Where should we go? A motel?
414
00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:57,021
My pool house, maybe.
How about up my husband's ass?
415
00:23:58,146 --> 00:24:01,356
We need to go somewhere
where we can get very, very drunk.
416
00:24:01,983 --> 00:24:04,823
I'm a mean drunk. Let's go.
417
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:11,736
Helen: He's cute, funny, clean...
418
00:24:11,909 --> 00:24:14,329
Married. To me.
419
00:24:14,495 --> 00:24:17,165
It's not like we're running
off together. It was sex.
420
00:24:17,832 --> 00:24:20,132
Very hot sex.
421
00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:23,585
He went down on me for days.
422
00:24:23,755 --> 00:24:26,005
Always did excellent work
down there.
423
00:24:27,717 --> 00:24:29,177
Piece of shit.
424
00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:31,514
Is that what you think?
He's shit?
425
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:35,349
You know,
when you stop being cute
426
00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:39,556
and clean and funny at home,
and start spending afternoons
427
00:24:39,729 --> 00:24:43,359
with your head buried
in the snatch of the tennis pro,
428
00:24:43,524 --> 00:24:45,694
yeah, you're a piece of shit.
429
00:24:45,860 --> 00:24:48,280
Are you going to divorce him?
Divorce?
430
00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:51,072
He can't support two households.
431
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,660
And I am not living
in a townhouse again.
432
00:24:56,371 --> 00:24:58,581
So, what did you do
that was so special?
433
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:04,802
I did everything he ever wanted:
Costumes, role-playing.
434
00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:08,761
I bought a fucking swing.
Listen, most guys cheat.
435
00:25:08,925 --> 00:25:12,635
And it's not because the wife
is some horrible, frigid bitch,
436
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:16,679
but it's because they all
have this primal urge
437
00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:19,019
to seek variety. Pieces of shit.
438
00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:21,845
Dean's a good guy.
You know, shut up.
439
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,400
I'm very mad at him.
440
00:25:25,233 --> 00:25:28,033
He's just not what
I thought he'd be, you know?
441
00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:30,994
Which was? Rich.
442
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:32,700
Powerful.
443
00:25:32,865 --> 00:25:34,735
Faithful.
444
00:25:34,909 --> 00:25:38,829
He just turned out to be
another mid-level asshole.
445
00:25:38,996 --> 00:25:41,456
And that makes me
Mrs. Mid-level asshole.
446
00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:45,044
That's why I'll never marry.
No, you just fuck the married,
447
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:47,551
and then I have to
watch it on video.
448
00:25:47,839 --> 00:25:51,719
Now I have to fucking deal with it,
and I don't like dealing with things.
449
00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:55,934
I'd much prefer to pretend
they don't exist.
450
00:25:56,597 --> 00:25:58,057
I'm sorry.
451
00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:00,435
You're a big whore.
452
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:06,975
I think I should go now.
Oh, sit your flat ass back down.
453
00:26:08,151 --> 00:26:11,781
You know, you're a good listener.
Thanks.
454
00:26:11,946 --> 00:26:14,616
Fuck you.
Let's get another round.
455
00:26:17,827 --> 00:26:20,327
[M1
456
00:26:33,426 --> 00:26:35,466
Hey, Nancy!
457
00:26:39,182 --> 00:26:40,852
Where's your...?
458
00:26:41,017 --> 00:26:42,767
Where's your ring?
459
00:26:43,895 --> 00:26:45,095
My ring?
460
00:26:45,271 --> 00:26:48,441
Yeah, your pretty
little diamond ring.
461
00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:53,360
It's in the shop. Oh.
462
00:26:53,529 --> 00:26:55,819
Well, I hope they can fix it.
463
00:26:56,908 --> 00:27:00,288
Yes. Me too, Celia.
464
00:27:00,453 --> 00:27:02,793
Thanks. Yeah.
465
00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:24,521
Judah: We can fix this.
Everything's gonna be okay, buddy.
466
00:27:24,685 --> 00:27:25,975
You got that, mom?
467
00:27:27,522 --> 00:27:29,192
Dad made it all...
468
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,330
Mom.
469
00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:46,077
Yeah, honey, what is it?
470
00:27:46,249 --> 00:27:47,999
What happened?
471
00:27:52,755 --> 00:27:54,965
I guess when you fell,
the camera got smashed.
472
00:27:57,802 --> 00:27:59,642
Yeah.
473
00:27:59,846 --> 00:28:02,846
Yeah, I guess
that's what happened.
474
00:28:04,058 --> 00:28:06,598
Don't worry,
we'll get another one.
475
00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:09,522
Okay.
476
00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:19,945
[M1
477
00:28:22,285 --> 00:28:23,655
Celia: Ambien?
478
00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:26,575
Take them. You need rest.
479
00:28:27,748 --> 00:28:30,038
What are you gonna do? Nothing.
480
00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:31,709
Really.
481
00:28:31,878 --> 00:28:34,338
I'm not going to do a thing.
482
00:28:36,257 --> 00:28:39,757
Look, I'll take one myself.
483
00:28:47,101 --> 00:28:48,901
See?
484
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:52,360
Night.
485
00:29:05,119 --> 00:29:07,329
Judah: I am your father, Shane.
486
00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:09,746
Join me on the dark side,
and together,
487
00:29:09,916 --> 00:29:12,456
we can rule the universe. Never!
488
00:29:12,627 --> 00:29:15,757
Judah: Then prepare to die! No!
489
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,890
Nancy: Get back in here right
now. We are not done talking.
490
00:29:24,055 --> 00:29:27,055
Just say good night, dad,
and shut off the camera.
491
00:29:29,894 --> 00:29:30,944
Good night, dad.
36291
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