All language subtitles for Save Your Legs 2012 eng
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:38,786
Encoded by PRiSTiNE.
Support us by visiting P2PDL.com
2
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:43,376
COMMENTATOR: So the anticipation builds,
the brink of history,
3
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:48,258
the moments that separate
the gods from the mortals.
4
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:54,556
AII eyes paring down
on this single figure.
5
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,025
Here we go.
6
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,865
He's done it!
7
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,696
The legend of the Little Master grows!
8
00:01:09,697 --> 00:01:13,495
And they stand to salute
Sachin Tendulkar.
9
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,872
TED: According to popular opinion,
10
00:01:16,873 --> 00:01:21,961
Sachin Tendulkar is the second-greatest
batsman in the history of world cricket.
11
00:01:21,962 --> 00:01:25,257
Now, I never got to see
Sir Donald Bradman wield the willow,
12
00:01:25,258 --> 00:01:28,921
but I did see Sachin
on his first tour of Australia.
13
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:33,884
He was 18. I was 14,
and it was beautiful to watch.
14
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:37,555
I Channel Nine cricket theme.
15
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:40,560
MAN: 20 years on, he's still playing,
and, in my opinion,
16
00:01:40,561 --> 00:01:45,021
Sachin is the greatest cricketer ever.
The Little Master.
17
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:49,869
Me? I'm Ted Brown, the president.
18
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,157
WOMAN: This is the entertainment area.
19
00:01:53,158 --> 00:01:56,121
An architect did the extension,
but the colour palette is mine.
20
00:01:56,122 --> 00:01:58,835
And this one, this is Teddy Brown.
He's mine.
21
00:01:58,836 --> 00:02:00,828
Morning, Stav, Janine.
22
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,831
Ted's living in our garage...
temporarily.
23
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,922
- Mate, Stava-chino?
- Nah, nah, I'm right.
24
00:02:05,923 --> 00:02:08,464
- But you are playing, though, yeah?
- Mate...
25
00:02:08,465 --> 00:02:11,716
TED: This is Stav, the vice-captain
and stylish all-rounder.
26
00:02:11,717 --> 00:02:14,844
- He talks a great game.
- I've got a ton in me today, brother.
27
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,435
After Sasha and Shahni's
swimming lessons
28
00:02:18,436 --> 00:02:19,977
and a trip to IKEA for my darling.
29
00:02:19,978 --> 00:02:22,067
Stav's got it covered.
30
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:28,024
TED: If you don't play cricket,
I guess it's hard to understand,
31
00:02:28,025 --> 00:02:31,527
but from the moment
I
first picked up a bat, I knew...
32
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,237
Morning.
33
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,947
..This was my game.
34
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:38,375
I could see myself one day
pulling on the baggy green cap,
35
00:02:38,376 --> 00:02:41,744
stepping onto the hallowed turf
of the MCG
36
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,089
and playing for Australia.
37
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:54,717
Ricky. OK, there we go.
38
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,676
Let's hug one out.
39
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,848
TED: This is Ricky, the captain.
40
00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:02,223
He's a gifted batsman,
but he lacks the appropriate discipline.
41
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:03,938
- Big night, was it?
- S0 big.
42
00:03:03,939 --> 00:03:05,479
- Hmm.
- The biggest... ever.
43
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,024
- You wouldn't pick it.
- Are you going to make a speech, Ted?
44
00:03:08,025 --> 00:03:10,115
- Last game of the season and all.
- I should.
45
00:03:10,116 --> 00:03:13,192
TED: Cricket is more than just a game.
46
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,823
It's the roar of the crowd
and the crack of leather on willow.
47
00:03:16,824 --> 00:03:19,490
It's skill and grace and drama
48
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:22,870
in the pressure-cooker atmosphere
of fierce competition,
49
00:03:22,871 --> 00:03:28,416
and it's all right here with the mighty
Abbotsford Anglers Cricket Club.
50
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:31,335
Another season gone, eh, boys?
51
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:34,338
Go by so fast, don't they?
52
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,053
It's not been one of our finest. Col?
53
00:03:36,054 --> 00:03:38,345
Four wins, eight losses, three forfeits.
54
00:03:38,346 --> 00:03:41,721
TED: This is Colin, club secretary
and statistician to the stars.
55
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,431
He loves the numbers.
56
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:47,101
- We finished ninth.
- So... no finals for us.
57
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,523
Chin up, lads, there's always next year,
58
00:03:49,524 --> 00:03:53,069
'cause the spirit of cricket
lives right here with the Anglers.
59
00:03:53,070 --> 00:03:54,780
MAN: Yes, Teddy!
- It does. It does.
60
00:03:54,781 --> 00:03:56,744
It lives with Shadow, the big unit.
61
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:59,289
It lives with Punter and Gobba,
Hangarz and Brett,
62
00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:01,699
elite athletes, every one of you.
63
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,624
And Colin. Col's not missed a game for,
what, seven...?
64
00:04:04,625 --> 00:04:06,496
- 11.
- 11... 11 years?
65
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,581
- 11.
- 11 years on the trot.
66
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,333
I mean... JLISt...
67
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,803
- And Prince, he's...
MAN: Princeton.
68
00:04:13,804 --> 00:04:15,468
Always enthusiastic.
69
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,217
- And Rick...
MAN: Good on ya, Ricky.
70
00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:22,470
He is here week in, week out,
with or without a hangover.
71
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:26,056
Here, boys, here. Here.
72
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:29,185
Where summer Saturdays,
yeah, they're sacred,
73
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,150
where best mates bond over bat and ball,
74
00:04:31,151 --> 00:04:34,318
where the dreams that we had as boys
live on as men.
75
00:04:34,319 --> 00:04:36,068
Yeah, come on, Anglers! Come on!
76
00:04:36,069 --> 00:04:39,365
- Time to step up, Anglers.
- Abbotsford, are you ready?
77
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:43,583
- Have you got a team?
- We got it all, Umpie. We got it all.
78
00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:49,789
- Wield that axe, Teddy! Whoop-whoop!
- He's late again.
79
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:53,044
Stav has lost focus, have you noticed?
He's played six games this year.
80
00:04:53,045 --> 00:04:56,134
No batting like your grandma,
Fanta Pants. It's not a test match.
81
00:04:56,135 --> 00:04:58,425
I suspect he's playing golf
and hiding it from us.
82
00:04:58,426 --> 00:05:00,970
Teddy, I wanna tell you something,
before we start...
83
00:05:00,971 --> 00:05:02,844
- I just wanna tell you something.
- What?
84
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,313
Rafaela's pregnant, mate.
85
00:05:05,314 --> 00:05:09,016
I'm gonna be a dad. We're having a baby.
86
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,987
MAN: Any time today, please, ladies.
- Teddy, say something.
87
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:17,107
Gentlemen, please,
too much time-wasting.
88
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:20,199
Let's get on with the game,
otherwise I'll have to deduct some runs.
89
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:24,450
Everything is gonna be alright, Umpie.
Everything's gonna be alright.
90
00:05:24,451 --> 00:05:28,035
Whoa. Teddy!
91
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,664
RICKY: Gonna be a dad.
We're having a baby.
92
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,291
Teddy... wah!
93
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,340
TEAM: Ooh!
94
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,886
STAV: That's it. It's all over, mate.
95
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,222
Your sex life is over.
96
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:52,148
Once a human head pops out, you'll never
look at that vagina the same way again.
97
00:05:52,149 --> 00:05:55,604
- What, it changes?
- Everything changes, Ricky.
98
00:05:55,605 --> 00:06:01,986
You're gone, down a dark hole of
pregnancy, nesting, newborns, marriage,
99
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:04,740
not to mention no more cricket
for little Ricky Poontang.
100
00:06:04,741 --> 00:06:07,116
- Shit, Teddy, is that an ingrown hair?
- Oh...
101
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,207
With a family, it's very hard to justify
102
00:06:09,208 --> 00:06:12,206
a whole day standing around
with a bunch of dudes wearing whites.
103
00:06:12,207 --> 00:06:13,914
Priorities, Ricky.
104
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:18,294
TED: Priorities? What happened?
105
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,591
We were gonna take on the world,
you know?
106
00:06:20,592 --> 00:06:22,432
Now they're ready to throw it all away.
107
00:06:22,433 --> 00:06:25,009
Some blokes lose perspective.
108
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:29,811
They let ladies and life
just get in the way of cricket.
109
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:34,226
They have babies
and they lose the passion, you know?
110
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,521
Reflexes, eyesight goes.
111
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,858
It's just so hard
to field the team these days.
112
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:44,614
A few precious hours on a Saturday.
That's too much to ask?
113
00:06:44,615 --> 00:06:47,833
You don't have to convince me,
Teddy Brown.
114
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,791
We gotta do something.
115
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,704
Reignite that passion.
116
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,423
- Another trivia night?
- No.
117
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,043
No, this is serious.
118
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,923
- I'm the president of this club.
- You are.
119
00:07:01,924 --> 00:07:03,640
- Don't.
- No.
120
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,518
What do you reckon, Sachin?
121
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,808
Are we ready to play for Australia?
122
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,398
- No.
- You need a team. I have a team.
123
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,275
No, I need a quality team.
124
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,985
TED: This is Sanjeet.
125
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:29,579
He's got money, loves cricket and
he sponsors a team to India every year.
126
00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:32,164
This is a very prestigious tournament.
127
00:07:32,165 --> 00:07:34,504
- And we're seasoned campaigners.
- You mean 'old'?
128
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:38,334
Uh, no, no. I mean experienced
in all facets of the game.
129
00:07:38,335 --> 00:07:41,462
Not this game, Ted.
India's a whole new ball game.
130
00:07:41,463 --> 00:07:44,340
We have been preparing for this
our entire lives.
131
00:07:44,341 --> 00:07:46,048
- Aww...
- We are solid.
132
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:48,139
We've three premierships,
two runners-up,
133
00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:50,387
and even one of those
was very controversial too.
134
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,471
Please, Sanj...
135
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,306
- Listen...
- Please.
136
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,436
Trust me when I tell you this, Ted,
this tour is out of your league.
137
00:07:57,437 --> 00:07:59,904
- But...
- Answer is no, Teddy.
138
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,689
Subhash...
139
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,529
Can you please stop that noise, Colin?
140
00:08:03,530 --> 00:08:05,903
Who else are you gonna get?
We are right here.
141
00:08:05,904 --> 00:08:08,195
- No, Teddy.
- I'm...
142
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,072
Hello? Subhash, my friend.
143
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:13,703
I'll get it sorted
by the end of the day.
144
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,171
HEY-
145
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,586
Is anyone booked into net six this arvo?
146
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,754
Top shelf.
147
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:29,425
- Training?
- Yes.
148
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,135
This is highly unusual.
149
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:34,684
Yeah, Teddy's got an idea.
We have to look professional.
150
00:08:34,685 --> 00:08:36,604
- Uniforms...
- Uniforms open doors.
151
00:08:36,605 --> 00:08:40,144
TED: This is the club's
spiritual advisor, Prince.
152
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,187
He's the guru of the googly.
153
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,067
- What does the president have in mind?
- Unclear at this stage.
154
00:08:45,068 --> 00:08:46,784
There are several theories, however.
155
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,861
Perhaps a winter comp or a testimonial
156
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,158
or maybe Teddy's been sniffing
the bat oil again.
157
00:08:51,159 --> 00:08:53,621
- I left a message!
- Yeah, I got your messages, Teddy.
158
00:08:53,622 --> 00:08:55,993
- All 15 of them.
- Mate, everyone is here.
159
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:58,709
I need my number three.
You're the best batsman in the club.
160
00:08:58,710 --> 00:09:01,504
Well, that's correct,
but I'm still not coming to training.
161
00:09:01,505 --> 00:09:06,503
Do you remember when we were kids, hey?
Internationals. We had a dream.
162
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,344
Yeah, I know, Teddy,
but I don't dream about cricket anymore.
163
00:09:09,345 --> 00:09:12,056
All I dream about is drill bits
and working the babysitter.
164
00:09:12,057 --> 00:09:14,805
- Summer is over, my friend.
- Alright, alright, fine.
165
00:09:14,806 --> 00:09:16,305
Well, if you're not coming down,
166
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:19,435
the selectors are gonna be forced
to take a new number three on tour.
167
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:24,354
Tour? What tour? And who was that?
168
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,273
Teddy? Who hit that?
169
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,901
Come on, mate.
I'm not asking too much, alright.
170
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,951
15 minutes, just wear the hat,
pretend to be an Angler.
171
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:37,168
- What's it in for me?
- Free net sessions for a week.
172
00:09:37,169 --> 00:09:41,381
- Make it a month.
- Alright, alright, a month.
173
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,795
TED: This is Mark, the ring-in.
174
00:09:44,796 --> 00:09:47,888
He's a
regular in the nets
and a regular young smart-arse.
175
00:09:47,889 --> 00:09:49,631
And a new pair of shoes.
176
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:55,224
Alright, alright, OK, alright.
New shoes, new shoes. Come on.
177
00:09:55,225 --> 00:09:57,894
- I could do with a new bat.
- Couldn't we all. Come on. Hat.
178
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:02,688
Look alive, Anglers.
Let's look tall, let's look handsome.
179
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,653
Let's take a leaf out of Shadow's book.
180
00:10:04,654 --> 00:10:07,900
A good-looking team
is a successful team, Col.
181
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,406
Gobba!
182
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,034
- Whoa.
- Oh-ho-ho! You got smacked, Gobba!
183
00:10:14,035 --> 00:10:18,285
This is exactly what we're talking
about, guys. Right on, off stump.
184
00:10:18,286 --> 00:10:22,329
Sanjeet, you're still here?
185
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,498
- Who are these guys?
- Who?
186
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:28,049
Oh, these guys? They're just my Anglers,
off-season training.
187
00:10:28,050 --> 00:10:29,753
- Anglers?
- Yeah.
188
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:34,800
- Young and keen and tight little unit.
- So tight.
189
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,895
- Who's that guy?
- Uh, that's...
190
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,974
Yeah, who is that guy, Teddy,
and why is he wearing an Angler's cap?
191
00:10:39,975 --> 00:10:41,849
That's very funny, Stav.
192
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:45,648
No, of course, that's Mark, my number
three batsman. Very handy.
193
00:10:45,649 --> 00:10:48,774
- How was golf?
- Don't know what you're talking about.
194
00:10:48,775 --> 00:10:51,617
Gobba? Prince?
195
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,994
Die, Twinkle Toes.
196
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,412
- Very up-ish. Get over it.
MAN: Get lessons, Stav!
197
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,253
I'm Stavros Bane McEvoy,
Anglers run-machine, club legend.
198
00:11:06,254 --> 00:11:08,464
- I hear there's a tour on offer.
- A tournament.
199
00:11:08,465 --> 00:11:10,336
- Exclusive, or...?
- Highly exclusive.
200
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,969
I organised a team,
but it has fallen through,
201
00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:15,048
and I don't like losing face.
202
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:18,343
- Well, we can save your face.
- Yeah.
203
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,765
- Which grade to you play in?
- Well, we're D...
204
00:11:20,766 --> 00:11:23,687
- A-grade. We're totally A-grade.
- Yep. A-grade.
205
00:11:23,688 --> 00:11:25,767
What about that guy?
206
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,644
- Will he play if I sponsor you?
- No.
207
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:30,192
We haven't actually worked out
our touring 11 just yet.
208
00:11:30,193 --> 00:11:32,943
Whoa, whoa, whoa, sponsor?
Are we talking cash?
209
00:11:32,944 --> 00:11:35,694
Oh, no, no. Ha-ha. I don't pay players.
210
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,495
Just arrange for the flights
and the accommodation. That's all.
211
00:11:39,496 --> 00:11:44,369
I mean, it's a major financial
commitment to take a team to India.
212
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,413
- India?
- India.
213
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,373
- India?
- India, yes.
214
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,083
- India?
- Mmm.
215
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,131
- That is genius. I am in.
- It's the toughest tour in world sport.
216
00:11:53,132 --> 00:11:54,843
A journey of enlightenment.
217
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,386
- I'll need a new scorebook.
- An international tour...
218
00:11:57,387 --> 00:11:59,473
Which makes me
an international cricketer.
219
00:11:59,474 --> 00:12:01,346
Playing for Australia, living the dream.
220
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:05,354
In India. I'm in again. I'm in twice.
I can't get more in... clia.
221
00:12:05,355 --> 00:12:07,059
Yep?
222
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,852
So give me your word.
223
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:13,450
A quality team to represent my academy,
all the way to the finals in Bombay.
224
00:12:13,451 --> 00:12:17,903
Abbotsford Anglers on tour
and at your service.
225
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,239
- Good.
- Yes.
226
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,834
SANJEET: Abbotsford Anglers.
What a ridiculous name.
227
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,537
Now, don't muck it up, guys.
I don't want to lose face.
228
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,425
Be the change
you want to see in the world, Ted.
229
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,793
- OK, yep.
- That's Gandhi.
230
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:36,505
A lot to learn from the man
with no shoes.
231
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:38,884
- Right.
RICKY: I wanna announce something.
232
00:12:38,885 --> 00:12:42,012
Rick's bucks party in Bombay.
233
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,223
Signing off. Signing off.
234
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:47,933
I Eve vi viPPee viPPee ai.
235
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,686
J' Singing eye yi yippee yippee ai.
236
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:54,731
J' Singing Abbotsford Anglers?
Guys, guys, just shh!
237
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,567
J' Singing eye yi yippee yippee ai. I.
238
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,696
ALL: Yeah!
239
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:04,455
J' Bhangra music.
240
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:38,195
RICKY: Incredible India, eh?
- You think they're all here for us?
241
00:13:38,196 --> 00:13:40,160
Dunno, but they're definitely all here.
242
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,286
Yeah, sure. What's your name?
243
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:51,210
ANGLER: Check it, Teddy!
244
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:53,883
RICKY: Go, the Anklets!
- Look, Stav.
245
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,128
TED: Guys, guys, guys!
246
00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:02,851
OK, as of this moment,
we are Australian cricketers on tour.
247
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:09,351
With that comes
certain responsibilities, OK?
248
00:14:09,352 --> 00:14:12,148
So let's behave accordingly.
Everything in moderation.
249
00:14:12,149 --> 00:14:15,020
Rick? Rick?
250
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:18,315
- Yes, sir.
- Everything... in... moderation.
251
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,150
' Why me? " Right?"
252
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,778
Now, let's play as a team,
not as individuals.
253
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,488
Yes, Anglers.
254
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,992
Stay together
and stay in uniforms because...
255
00:14:26,993 --> 00:14:29,034
ALL: Uniforms open doors.
256
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,831
They do, though. That's the thing.
257
00:14:30,832 --> 00:14:35,004
Just stay focused on the job at hand,
and we can win that final in Bombay.
258
00:14:35,005 --> 00:14:37,798
And the Anglers can live forever!
259
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,967
J' Indian classical music.
260
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,970
TED: India -
261
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,014
cricket's final frontier.
262
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:56,738
It's 1.2 billion cricket-obsessed locals
versus 11 ambitious Australians.
263
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,531
Touring the subcontinent
presents a whole new challenge
264
00:15:04,532 --> 00:15:06,247
for the international cricketer -
265
00:15:06,248 --> 00:15:09,741
the crowds, the chaos, the culture.
266
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:13,665
But a tour is also a unique opportunity
for mates to come together,
267
00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:17,258
far from the distractions of home,
to bond as a team
268
00:15:17,259 --> 00:15:20,210
and focus on what's important.
269
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,421
We have to be switched on 24/7,
270
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,464
mentally and physically.
271
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,685
We have to take every opportunity
to find an edge over our opposition,
272
00:15:27,686 --> 00:15:30,470
acclimatise to local conditions,
273
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:35,642
and understand that
the eyes of the world are upon us.
274
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:39,771
J' Flamenco guitar music.
275
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,776
J' Exotic singing.
276
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,179
COLIN: Give me the bowler, boys.
Give me the bowler.
277
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,435
CHILDREN: That's it, boys!
COLIN: Catch him!
278
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,475
Oh!
279
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,485
- Whoo-hoo.
- Very good cricket.
280
00:16:21,486 --> 00:16:23,324
- Thank you.
- What is your country?
281
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,448
Uh, Australia. I'm Ted Brown,
Abbotsford Anglers. What about you?
282
00:16:26,449 --> 00:16:31,281
- Indian cricketer. Sachin's brother.
- Tendulkar?
283
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:35,003
You're his brother?
Are you ser... Can we meet him?
284
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:40,000
Sorry, is that a yes or a no?
285
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,335
Colin...
286
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,805
OK, now, you say... Yeah.
287
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,220
- Yeah, that's good. That's good.
- Buy flute, sir?
288
00:16:48,221 --> 00:16:50,344
- No, I don't wanna buy a flute.
- Just try, sir.
289
00:16:50,345 --> 00:16:52,061
I don't wanna play the flute!
290
00:16:52,062 --> 00:16:55,808
- I miss your bum.
- Ohhhhh...
291
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,734
RICKY: I wanna bite it.
It's little and wobbly.
292
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:03,230
Bloke down the road is making me a suit
for 550 rupees.
293
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:06,861
- What's that, ten bucks?
- Three pots of Carlton for a suit!
294
00:17:06,862 --> 00:17:08,860
- What colour?
- Peach.
295
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,029
Ha-ha! I know.
296
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,281
How fuckin' hot is peach?
297
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,580
Even you'd pick up in peach, Teddy.
298
00:17:15,581 --> 00:17:18,078
Ooh, it's Janine.
299
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,413
Must be missing the battered Stav.
300
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:23,250
Namaste, sexy face.
301
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:26,127
Why are you crying?
302
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:30,053
Don't cry, babe. We've got
plenty of time till it pops out.
303
00:17:30,054 --> 00:17:32,008
Yeah, it's great. Fantastic.
304
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,386
Smells like Nanna's armpits,
but that's alright.
305
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:38,267
September? Shit.
306
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:44,479
No, I mean, 'Shit, how good...
that it's soon... and not far away.'
307
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,232
Yeah, he's good.
He's right here next to me.
308
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:50,863
Uh, not yet.
I haven't had a chance to, have I?
309
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,992
No, no, my boys are right here.
310
00:17:56,993 --> 00:18:01,544
J' Bollywood music.
311
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,927
Mmm... semi-hot.
312
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:17,053
Hot. You're in India, Ted.
313
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,894
A world of flavour at your feet
and you're eating baked beans.
314
00:18:19,895 --> 00:18:22,689
- Good enough for Warnie.
STAV: Oh, smoking hot.
315
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:27,105
- Oh, hey! Not him. Eww...
TED: No, no, no.
316
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,485
Leather jacket, big hair,
very popular with the local ladies.
317
00:18:30,486 --> 00:18:33,862
STAV: Why wouldn't he be? Look at him.
He looks like a Bollywood Fonzie.
318
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:35,572
Hey!
319
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:38,201
Who's up for a Mummy's Little Helper
and a duty-free G&T?
320
00:18:38,202 --> 00:18:39,909
- That's me.
- Excellent.
321
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:42,379
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
We've got a big game tomorrow, boys.
322
00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:45,170
- I'm having a baby in September.
- Oh.
323
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:48,084
- Mister Edward?
- Oh, great timing.
324
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:51,426
Can we get some tonic water
and four glasses, please, soldier?
325
00:18:51,427 --> 00:18:53,718
- And some ice, thanks, mate.
- Don't eat the ice.
326
00:18:53,719 --> 00:18:56,556
Sliced lemon, umbrellas
and some salty snacks. You choose.
327
00:18:56,557 --> 00:18:58,600
Message for
Australian Cricket President.
328
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,306
MAN: Ooh, message.
329
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:03,141
Yes, I am
the Australian Cricket President.
330
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,185
- Whoo.
- Teddy Brown.
331
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:07,405
'Uh, Shri Subhash Chandrakant
332
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,903
and the Aravind International
Cricket Tournament
333
00:19:09,904 --> 00:19:12,359
welcome the Australian Anglers...'
334
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,069
Thank you very much.
335
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:17,161
'..And cordially invite them to
a press conference and drinks
336
00:19:17,162 --> 00:19:18,870
at the Kolkata Sports Club.'
337
00:19:18,871 --> 00:19:21,119
MAN: Press conference!
- And drinks! High five.
338
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,246
- We are internationals.
ALL: Us.
339
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:29,376
Oh, will there be speeches?
I really do like a speech.
340
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:31,675
Testing one, two. One, two.
341
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:39,767
We are very much glad that the Anglian
team has come all the way to Calcutta...
342
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:45,141
- Sit down, lads.
- Should I sit...?
343
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:48,362
To represent my old friend
Sanjeet Thambuswarmy.
344
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:54,281
Australian cricket teams
have fearsome reputations...
345
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,954
Damn straight!
Go, Anglers, Premiers 2001.
346
00:19:56,955 --> 00:19:58,573
Rick, Rick...
347
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:00,365
I'm sorry. Sorry, Ted.
348
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,209
But tomorrow at Eden Gardens,
349
00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:06,413
Kolkata Tramways Company
will be a challenging test.
350
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,081
- Oh...
- Well...
351
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:10,881
The winning team will qualify for
the tournament finals
352
00:20:10,882 --> 00:20:14,050
on the hallowed turf
of Bombay Cricket Club.
353
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,052
Fix it.
354
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:24,389
- Anjali.
- What are you doing...?
355
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,860
For the losers, it's off to Varanasi
for the knock-out qualification game.
356
00:20:27,861 --> 00:20:29,561
Ooh.
357
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,280
- Oh, Teddy!
- Makes me proud.
358
00:20:31,281 --> 00:20:35,942
I hope you are not so clumsy
in the field tomorrow.
359
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:39,529
TED: We'll be fine.
- Anyway, good luck, Australia.
360
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:43,706
Good luck, Anglicans,
and good luck, Kolkata Tramway.
361
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:50,832
Um, if you'd asked me a month ago
where I'd...
362
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,927
Yep. MAN: Good speech, Teddy.
363
00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:58,381
Who's, um... who's the tasty local dish?
364
00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:03,511
Yeah, I think that might be
Sanjeet's little girl, all grown up.
365
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:06,265
- Come on. Whoo-hoo!
- Is he drunk?
366
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:09,227
He's not even drunk?
This is how he dances normally?
367
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,404
Gimme some more, gimme some more.
368
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:14,653
- I said, a 'punt'.
- Punt. Yes.
369
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:20,446
It has its moments,
but tell me, how's Melbourne?
370
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,873
Dad says that
you're still working in the shop?
371
00:21:22,874 --> 00:21:24,115
Yep, YeP-
372
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:28,620
Ted's a manager now.
Head of retail. Bats, balls...
373
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:31,790
- Hi, I'm Anjali.
- Oh, you remember Colin.
374
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,459
- We've met.
- Yep.
375
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,050
- He works in the Academy with me.
- Mm-hm.
376
00:21:37,051 --> 00:21:39,925
- I do your old job.
- Oh, really? Better than me, I hope.
377
00:21:39,926 --> 00:21:41,633
I was hopeless...
378
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,635
- No...
- ..Especially at the ball machine.
379
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:46,685
- I'm very good at it.
- I'm sure.
380
00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:49,849
- Mm-hm.
- Are you still with your fiancée?
381
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:53,070
- Um, I forget her name.
- Margaret. No. She left him.
382
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:57,941
- Summer, 2005/06...
- I'm sorw.
383
00:21:57,942 --> 00:21:59,818
- ..For another woman.
- Oh, don't...
384
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:03,995
Hockey player. Been pretty quiet
on the old lady front since, hey?
385
00:22:03,996 --> 00:22:08,711
Anjali! Whoo! From pimply teen
to smoking Indian princess.
386
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:12,040
- Hi, Stav. Nice to see you.
- Hello. Likewise.
387
00:22:12,041 --> 00:22:14,711
Hey, the Anglers' pin-up
needs a photo with the big wigs.
388
00:22:14,712 --> 00:22:17,507
This face belongs in the news.
Can you help?
389
00:22:17,508 --> 00:22:19,176
Of course. Come on.
390
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:25,140
So, you're keeping stats
on my love life now?
391
00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:26,846
I keep stats on everything, Ted,
392
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:31,184
though that particular scoresheet
has been blank for a long time.
393
00:22:31,185 --> 00:22:33,151
Hey, hey, hey-
394
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:38,147
Is that your...
is that your natural colour?
395
00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:41,698
Ted here's a redhead. You guys should
have a talk, ginge minge to ginge minge.
396
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,156
Which one is the captain?
397
00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:48,584
Uh, he's that... that guy.
398
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:56,624
What's he doing?
? Rock and roll...?
399
00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:59,174
Mummy's Little Helper's kicked in.
? Rock and roll...?
400
00:22:59,175 --> 00:23:02,013
He's singing...
? Rock and roll...?
401
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,715
This is madness. Let's go.
402
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:07,061
India, are you ready to rock'n'roll?
403
00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:11,598
MAN: Crikey.
404
00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:14,148
MAN 2: Yeah! Ricky!
405
00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:19,731
Good morning.
406
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:22,235
- Thank you. How much?
- Four rupees.
407
00:23:22,236 --> 00:23:25,363
OK. Thank you. Good morning.
408
00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:30,292
Hmm...
409
00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:49,719
Ready to rock'n'roll, are we?
410
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,563
What time did you get to bed?
411
00:23:51,564 --> 00:23:54,933
Dunno, but we weren't far
behind you guys.
412
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:58,144
Rick and Prince got in at 5:47am.
413
00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:01,319
They woke half the hotel singing
Dreadlock Holiday in the lobby.
414
00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:05,151
- J' I was walkin' down the street... J'
- Rick...
415
00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:08,821
It's a media farce. It's unbelievable.
Ooh.
416
00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:12,038
- J' I heard a dark voice beside of me J'
- Rick, what did we say on the bus?
417
00:24:12,039 --> 00:24:14,287
Moderation. This calls for a suspension.
418
00:24:14,288 --> 00:24:16,457
J' I looked around
in a state of fright... J'
419
00:24:16,458 --> 00:24:18,581
Rick, the club is bigger
than the individual.
420
00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:21,209
- J' I saw four faces, one mad J'
- This is simply not acceptable.
421
00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:22,799
J' A brother from the gutter...?
422
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,011
Come on, it's hardly
the ideal preparation, is it?
423
00:24:26,012 --> 00:24:29,509
Mate, we've been preparing like this
since we were 15.
424
00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:32,730
Hey, you are meant to behave
like a touring captain.
425
00:24:32,731 --> 00:24:34,430
Don't.
426
00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:36,479
Don't... I should take it off you.
427
00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:40,146
No, consider this an official warning.
428
00:24:40,229 --> 00:24:42,569
You step out of line again
and you will be suspended.
429
00:24:42,570 --> 00:24:45,361
- What for, having fun? Banging drums?
- Yep. All of the above.
430
00:24:45,362 --> 00:24:48,283
- This isn't a holiday, Richard.
- Not with you around, Col.
431
00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:52,532
I must have posed for, what,
1,000 photos last night?
432
00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:55,205
- Teddy, have a look at this.
- Oh, we made the paper!
433
00:24:55,206 --> 00:24:56,873
- No, we didn't.
- We made the paper.
434
00:24:56,874 --> 00:25:00,625
'Anglers number three Mark Dickstick
to represent the Australian visitors.'
435
00:25:00,626 --> 00:25:02,338
- Him and I need to have a chat.
- No.
436
00:25:02,339 --> 00:25:05,006
What you need to do is let your bat
do the talking, alright?
437
00:25:05,007 --> 00:25:08,679
Guys, come on! It's time to make
our international debut.
438
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,591
J' I don't like cricket?
439
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:12,385
- God...
- J' Oh, no J'
440
00:25:12,386 --> 00:25:15,013
- Ten minutes, in your whites.
- J' I love it
I.
441
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:17,733
- Stav, 'Dreadlock holiday.'
- J' Dreadlock holiday. I.
442
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:23,190
J' Indian folk singing.
443
00:25:37,745 --> 00:25:41,795
Hey, Protein. There's two types
of people in this world, yeah?
444
00:25:41,796 --> 00:25:45,590
The Stavs and the Stav-nots.
445
00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:49,014
We clear? Good.
446
00:26:04,146 --> 00:26:07,070
It's not exactly Eden Gardens.
447
00:26:07,149 --> 00:26:10,071
Where's the crowd? Paper said
there'd be thousands here today.
448
00:26:10,072 --> 00:26:13,164
Crowd? What about a pitch?
It's a goat track, literally.
449
00:26:13,165 --> 00:26:15,239
Just relax, boys.
450
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,910
- We're on Indian time now.
- They look fit.
451
00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:21,460
Yeah, none of these cats
were at the function yesterday.
452
00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:23,256
Where are the fat conductors?
453
00:26:23,257 --> 00:26:27,719
J' Band plays tune.
454
00:26:30,714 --> 00:26:32,924
- Hi, Ted.
- Sanjeet.
455
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:35,343
Mr Subhash, sir.
456
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:38,473
- Nervous, Ted?
- A little, yeah.
457
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:42,109
Don't let the occasion
get the better of you.
458
00:26:42,110 --> 00:26:43,810
- Good.
- Go for it.
459
00:26:43,811 --> 00:26:44,858
Good.
460
00:26:48,816 --> 00:26:51,359
Righto, Anglers. Come on.
461
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:56,491
OK, guys, please do not let the occasion
get the better of us.
462
00:26:58,909 --> 00:27:00,618
Ricky...
463
00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:03,334
- Yes, it is our debut on foreign soil.
- Listen to Ricky.
464
00:27:03,335 --> 00:27:05,376
And, yes, the opposition
do look imposing.
465
00:27:05,377 --> 00:27:07,001
Bring it in. Come on, guys.
466
00:27:07,084 --> 00:27:09,505
And, yes, it is 600 degrees
in the shade.
467
00:27:09,506 --> 00:27:12,006
- Innit.
- But this is park cricket.
468
00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:15,009
And no-one - and I mean no-one -
469
00:27:15,092 --> 00:27:17,971
plays park cricket
like the Abbotsford Anglers.
470
00:27:17,972 --> 00:27:19,804
Come on!
471
00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:22,934
Stavos, do you wanna bowl the first ball
on the subcontinent?
472
00:27:22,935 --> 00:27:25,186
Let me just check. Fuck, yeah.
473
00:27:25,269 --> 00:27:29,689
Abbotsford... ALL: Anglers!
474
00:27:29,690 --> 00:27:33,490
J' Funk music.
475
00:27:54,464 --> 00:27:57,008
- Mine! Mine!
- Mine! Mine!
476
00:27:57,009 --> 00:27:58,727
0h!
477
00:28:17,779 --> 00:28:20,031
STAV: Come on, Teddy! Catch it!
478
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:22,455
Mine!
479
00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:32,086
Highest score ever against the Anglers.
480
00:28:32,087 --> 00:28:34,712
Yes, some very wrong fielding out there,
Anglers.
481
00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:36,589
I'm embarrassed for you. All of you.
482
00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:40,720
- Did one of their batsman make 200?
- Yeah, the guy Teddy dropped twice.
483
00:28:40,721 --> 00:28:42,433
- Or was it three times?
- Twice.
484
00:28:42,434 --> 00:28:44,894
Bloody hot, innit?
We should've toured England.
485
00:28:44,895 --> 00:28:47,109
Was that you that passed out
at Fine Leg, Punter?
486
00:28:47,110 --> 00:28:49,435
Look at you guys!
487
00:28:49,436 --> 00:28:51,857
Come on, Anglers, fire up.
We can get these runs.
488
00:28:51,858 --> 00:28:54,529
Small boundaries. Teddy,
you and me, opening the batting.
489
00:28:54,608 --> 00:28:56,485
- Pad up.
- Yep, come on. Big chase.
490
00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:58,616
- It's a big game.
- Me at number three?
491
00:28:58,695 --> 00:29:00,914
No, no, the boys are right.
It's a big game.
492
00:29:00,989 --> 00:29:03,285
Big-game players required.
I bat three, PYT.
493
00:29:03,286 --> 00:29:05,627
But if you want fast runs, big bash,
I'm the man.
494
00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:10,003
- Sorry? Hey? Who's the man?
- You da man, Stav.
495
00:29:24,054 --> 00:29:25,763
0h!
496
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:28,608
Score! Save your legs, son.
497
00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:37,108
Oh-ho-ho!
498
00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:38,110
India!
499
00:29:40,028 --> 00:29:43,077
- Yes, yes, yes!
- Come on!
500
00:29:50,163 --> 00:29:52,123
Bowl again!
501
00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:55,668
- No!
- Come on, Ted. Hit it.
502
00:29:55,669 --> 00:29:58,138
STAV: Long way to 363, Prez.
503
00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:04,051
That's 44 balls without scoring.
504
00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:06,180
Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, wait, wait, wait.
505
00:30:06,181 --> 00:30:08,681
Ted's just broken his own club record.
506
00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:10,808
MAN: Go, Ricky!
507
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:11,851
0h!
508
00:30:11,852 --> 00:30:13,413
Watch and learn, Teddy.
Watch and learn.
509
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:30,997
Alright, Anglers.
Prepare for a Stav-alanche.
510
00:30:33,832 --> 00:30:35,880
Alright, Teddy, come on. Come on.
511
00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:38,053
Work the singles, Teddy. I'm ready.
512
00:30:38,128 --> 00:30:40,222
Alright, you hand it over to Uncle Stav.
513
00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:42,933
MAN: Let's go, Anglers!
514
00:30:45,218 --> 00:30:47,220
TED: Yes!
515
00:30:47,304 --> 00:30:50,228
- Wait! Wait! No, no, no, no, no!
- Oh, Teddy, no!
516
00:30:50,229 --> 00:30:52,225
- Oh, you...
- Oh, no.
517
00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:56,530
Jesus!
518
00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:01,026
Aarggh!
519
00:31:03,111 --> 00:31:05,988
MAN: Bad luck, Stavvy.
520
00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:08,583
Hell!
521
00:31:10,494 --> 00:31:14,663
J' Band plays Channel Nine cricket theme.
522
00:31:14,664 --> 00:31:16,758
- Sir?
- Go away.
523
00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:28,061
It's the detail of the lining, see,
for the price, it really is...
524
00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:33,480
See, I'm not really an Angler, so here's
my number. You can call me any time.
525
00:31:33,481 --> 00:31:35,944
No, thanks. Any time.
526
00:31:37,521 --> 00:31:39,230
It's... it's...
527
00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:40,983
We're just still not used to
528
00:31:40,984 --> 00:31:43,234
the glancing light
of the Northern Hemisphere,
529
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:45,074
but we will bounce back, I promise.
530
00:31:45,075 --> 00:31:48,618
You better, or you are going to get
bounced right out of the tournament.
531
00:31:48,619 --> 00:31:50,705
- Here, have one.
- Uh, no, no.
532
00:31:50,706 --> 00:31:53,998
- No, I have Vegemite back at the hotel.
- Actually, you don't.
533
00:31:53,999 --> 00:31:56,623
The Prince and I got the munchies
last night and nailed it.
534
00:31:57,874 --> 00:32:00,593
Oh, have one of these.
These are really good, Teddy.
535
00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:05,927
At some stage, you have to adapt to
the change in conditions, Ted. Go on.
536
00:32:05,928 --> 00:32:08,768
- Come on, Teddles.
- Alright. OK. I will.
537
00:32:08,769 --> 00:32:10,558
Here we go.
538
00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:15,230
- Hmm. It's good.
- How good's that?
539
00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:20,438
Ah, that thing, the head wobble,
is that a yes or a no?
540
00:32:20,439 --> 00:32:23,441
Once you know that, you know India.
541
00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:27,322
Hey!
542
00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:29,155
- Whoa-ho!
- Hey, hey, hey!
543
00:32:29,156 --> 00:32:30,954
Hey?
544
00:32:32,075 --> 00:32:34,294
Don't you ever run me out again, Teddy.
545
00:32:34,295 --> 00:32:36,084
Ho-ho-ho!
546
00:32:45,714 --> 00:32:47,842
TED: Leadership has its challenges.
547
00:32:47,843 --> 00:32:50,720
It's my responsibility
to keep team spirits up,
548
00:32:50,721 --> 00:32:54,474
move on from defeat,
and remain focused on the job at hand.
549
00:32:54,475 --> 00:32:57,808
Chai, chai, chai, chai...
550
00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:00,561
Hey, brother, you don't do coffee,
by any chance?
551
00:33:00,562 --> 00:33:03,031
- ..Chai, chai, chai, chai.
- Skinny latte with one?
552
00:33:03,032 --> 00:33:06,358
No, water. Water for me. Thank you.
553
00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:10,112
- Holy shit!
STAV: It's Sachin's box?!
554
00:33:10,113 --> 00:33:12,832
- You've still got it!
- Don't... Rick. Rick...
555
00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:14,785
- You are a freak!
- Rick, give that...
556
00:33:14,786 --> 00:33:16,494
No, Teddy...
557
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:21,832
Abbotsford Anglers, this is Sachin
Tendulkar's original protector.
558
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:23,542
MAN: Bullshit!
559
00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:26,008
As worn on his first tour of Australia.
When was that?
560
00:33:26,009 --> 00:33:29,383
- Summer '91/92.
- Why have you got his box, Teddy?
561
00:33:29,384 --> 00:33:34,678
We broke into the MCG change rooms,
right, and we were, like, 15, 16.
562
00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:38,227
- I told him to steal a bat, but no...
- You made a trophy out of it?
563
00:33:38,228 --> 00:33:41,820
- Please... Guys...
- Hello, hello. I take to Sachin?
564
00:33:41,821 --> 00:33:44,355
- I know, his brother!
- Hey, hey!
565
00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:47,028
Well, that's great,
'cause he must have been missing it,
566
00:33:47,029 --> 00:33:49,115
you know, freeballing all these years.
567
00:33:49,116 --> 00:33:51,784
I wonder if the Little Master
fits Stav's massive master.
568
00:33:51,785 --> 00:33:56,909
- Give it to me.
- Breathe it in, Teddy. Scent of Sachin.
569
00:33:56,910 --> 00:33:58,702
Get off! ALL: Oh!
570
00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,704
What was that noise?
571
00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:02,376
- Nothing.
- Did you just shart?
572
00:34:02,377 --> 00:34:04,126
- No.
- What was that noise?
573
00:34:04,127 --> 00:34:06,046
- Nothing.
- I heard a wet, ripping noise.
574
00:34:06,047 --> 00:34:08,716
- Where are my poo tickets?
- Here. Want me to come with you?
575
00:34:08,717 --> 00:34:10,841
- What? Oh, that's... Oh...
- Do you need this?
576
00:34:10,842 --> 00:34:12,633
Nah. MAN: Teddy Brown!
577
00:34:12,634 --> 00:34:14,602
MAN 2: Teddy... MAN 1: Brown!
578
00:34:18,598 --> 00:34:21,898
I Indian folk music.
579
00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:59,895
Prez, you OK?
580
00:35:03,018 --> 00:35:06,989
You have these mates for 20 years,
581
00:35:07,063 --> 00:35:11,819
and then one day you just look at 'em
and you're like...
582
00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:16,488
'Who are you?'
583
00:35:16,489 --> 00:35:21,837
Mid 30s. Does something curious
to a man, Ted.
584
00:35:22,912 --> 00:35:26,123
First, they get a mortgage
and stop laughing,
585
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:30,800
wear beige shorts, play golf on Sundays,
586
00:35:30,879 --> 00:35:34,131
marry someone good and smart,
587
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:38,469
name their kids something unusual
like Tarragon,
588
00:35:38,470 --> 00:35:41,388
find themselves
sitting at dinner parties
589
00:35:41,389 --> 00:35:46,020
talking about 'our renovations'
and 'your renovations',
590
00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:50,653
and everything just keeps chugging along
like God's own choo-choo train
591
00:35:50,654 --> 00:35:55,444
until one day,
they end up in the newspaper,
592
00:35:55,445 --> 00:36:01,202
found naked in aisle five of IKEA with
a semiautomatic and a tub of jelly.
593
00:36:02,202 --> 00:36:04,953
TED: It won't stop!
594
00:36:04,954 --> 00:36:07,498
- TED: Aaarrgghhh!
- Teddy?
595
00:36:07,499 --> 00:36:12,002
TED: Stav? Help! I think I'm dying.
596
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:14,472
Uh, well, I'm not sure
what you want me to do, mate.
597
00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:18,142
- Uh, do you want Sachin's box?
TED: No, toilet paper.
598
00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:20,971
TED: Oh, and pants!
- Well, you're not getting my pants.
599
00:36:20,972 --> 00:36:24,268
TED: Aaarrggghhh!
- Are you overreacting, Teddy?
600
00:36:24,269 --> 00:36:26,688
You sound like
you're being raped in there.
601
00:36:26,689 --> 00:36:30,729
- Ooh! Aaah!
TED: It won't stop!
602
00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:33,654
- I just vomited on my own poo.
- Aaah! No.
603
00:36:33,655 --> 00:36:35,734
- Stav!
- No! No! Oh!
604
00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:39,035
- Oh! Ohh! Ohhh!
- Oh, Jesus!
605
00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:43,164
Chai?
606
00:36:52,544 --> 00:36:58,176
PRINCE: Varanasi - the city of Shiva on
the banks of the sacred River Ganges,
607
00:36:58,258 --> 00:37:01,468
one of the holiest places in India.
608
00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:04,473
It's the beating heart
of the Hindu universe,
609
00:37:04,474 --> 00:37:09,194
a crossing place between
the physical and spiritual worlds.
610
00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:13,689
Hindu pilgrims come from all over
to bathe in these waters,
611
00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:18,068
a ritual which washes away all sins.
612
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:21,739
Varanasi is an auspicious place to die
613
00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:27,244
since expiring here ensures release
from the cycle of rebirths
614
00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:30,340
and an instant passport to heaven.
615
00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:36,630
But what the good people
of Lonely Planet failed to mention
616
00:37:36,631 --> 00:37:40,591
is that Varanasi is also
the finest place in the world
617
00:37:40,592 --> 00:37:43,343
to free your mind.
618
00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:48,140
- Om, shanti. Om.
- Teddy Brown looking shaky.
619
00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:50,309
- Here she is.
- Oh, Prez.
620
00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:53,276
- You look a million rupees.
- Wow, you look sensational.
621
00:37:53,277 --> 00:37:55,524
- You'll be alright to play, Teddy?
- Yeah, yeah.
622
00:37:55,525 --> 00:37:58,993
No, no, no. I'm coming good.
I'll play. I'll play. I'll play.
623
00:37:59,068 --> 00:38:02,321
Big game tomorrow, boys.
Varanasi Toymakers Association.
624
00:38:02,322 --> 00:38:04,118
- Ooh, toy-makers.
- I know.
625
00:38:04,119 --> 00:38:08,621
- Must win. Gotta focus. Got to focus.
PUNTER: Anything we can do?
626
00:38:08,622 --> 00:38:10,964
Yes, uh, training.
627
00:38:11,039 --> 00:38:13,629
- Maybe a net session, if possible.
MAN: What did he say?
628
00:38:13,630 --> 00:38:16,094
Keep up the waters
and don't eat the kebabs.
629
00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:18,634
- Noted.
- Shadow's already had about 16 of them.
630
00:38:18,635 --> 00:38:20,974
- How are your stools holding up, mate?
- Firm as.
631
00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:23,634
- Champagne corks.
- You're joking.
632
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:25,474
- Firm?
- What? No liquid?
633
00:38:25,475 --> 00:38:28,686
- I got that hot green ice-cream-y...
- Mine's like a puree, actually.
634
00:38:28,687 --> 00:38:31,560
Fires out of me like an assault rifle.
It's, like, 'Bah!'
635
00:38:31,561 --> 00:38:33,644
Stop it!
636
00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:38,941
0K, 0K, 0K, guys, 9W5, guys,
as important as all that sounds,
637
00:38:38,942 --> 00:38:42,822
the whites, we need to get 'em washed,
look professional.
638
00:38:42,823 --> 00:38:45,036
You just leave it to me, eh? Or Colin.
639
00:38:45,037 --> 00:38:47,202
Gotta be a drycleaner
around here somewhere.
640
00:38:47,203 --> 00:38:49,294
- Oh, that's not...
- Oh, you alright?
641
00:38:49,369 --> 00:38:52,329
- Oh, that's the good stuff.
- Run, Teddy.
642
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:55,833
Our president just needs to relax.
643
00:38:55,834 --> 00:39:00,963
What we all need to do is relax,
Varanasi-style.
644
00:39:00,964 --> 00:39:05,970
J' Indian-influenced psychedelia.
645
00:39:32,662 --> 00:39:34,335
Beautiful.
646
00:39:47,969 --> 00:39:51,972
- So have you told Teddy yet?
- What?
647
00:39:51,973 --> 00:39:55,309
- About moving out of the garage.
- Yeah.
648
00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:59,021
Oh, no. I will, before we leave.
649
00:39:59,022 --> 00:40:03,698
I better. Janine's packed up his stuff
and put it on the front lawn.
650
00:40:03,699 --> 00:40:07,237
Whoa! That's real.
651
00:40:07,238 --> 00:40:09,364
Ooh!
652
00:40:09,365 --> 00:40:12,701
MARK: Ted?
653
00:40:12,702 --> 00:40:15,080
Hey, Teddy, I know you're in there, man.
654
00:40:15,081 --> 00:40:17,581
Look, um, can you put me up
the batting order tomorrow?
655
00:40:17,582 --> 00:40:19,380
I need some more time in the middle.
656
00:40:19,459 --> 00:40:22,884
The dude who runs the tournament's
gonna be there with talent scouts.
657
00:40:22,885 --> 00:40:29,012
I could open. That'd be good...
for me... and for the team.
658
00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:33,018
Rick and Stav are just holding us back.
659
00:41:01,417 --> 00:41:06,014
RICK: Hey!
STAV: Feel my pain, Ravi!
660
00:41:07,340 --> 00:41:09,341
Shot, Stavros! Four bits.
661
00:41:09,342 --> 00:41:13,261
Pardon?
662
00:41:13,262 --> 00:41:16,106
It's only two runs
if you get it in the river.
663
00:41:16,107 --> 00:41:20,268
Anjali!
What are you doing here?
664
00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:23,772
Dad's here,
and I've always wanted to see Varanasi.
665
00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:26,743
It's a long way from
the banks of the Yarra, huh?
666
00:41:26,818 --> 00:41:29,069
You took a shot, Ravi!
667
00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:33,073
- Oh!
- Oh, shot, Stavosaurus!
668
00:41:33,074 --> 00:41:34,792
Stavishnu, the God of Cricket!
669
00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:38,713
- You still love it, don't you?
- What?
670
00:41:38,714 --> 00:41:41,748
The cricket. The game and the boys...
671
00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:46,378
- Oh, that's massive!
- Yeah, it's the best.
672
00:41:46,379 --> 00:41:48,723
- The best?
- Mm-hm.
673
00:41:48,798 --> 00:41:50,926
Oh, unless you play,
you wouldn't understand.
674
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:53,228
STAV: What've you got, Ravi?
What've you got?
675
00:41:53,229 --> 00:41:54,892
~ om _ ooh!
676
00:41:56,055 --> 00:41:57,931
I guess you're right.
677
00:41:57,932 --> 00:42:00,435
Smokin' hot and a handy cricketer.
678
00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,486
Lovely to see you again, Anjali.
679
00:42:02,487 --> 00:42:05,230
- I believe you're up.
- I don't bat.
680
00:42:05,231 --> 00:42:09,154
But Teddy here's a little master.
He'll have a go. Won't you?
681
00:42:09,155 --> 00:42:12,281
Have you come all this way
to chat up our president?
682
00:42:12,282 --> 00:42:13,989
- Stav...
- No.
683
00:42:13,990 --> 00:42:16,912
Dad's organised a dinner at the Taj
and I've come to invite him.
684
00:42:16,913 --> 00:42:19,124
- The Taj?
- Classy. I have just the suit.
685
00:42:19,125 --> 00:42:21,667
- Not you. Just the president.
- Hmm.
686
00:42:21,668 --> 00:42:23,585
And Shri Subhash will be there.
687
00:42:23,586 --> 00:42:26,086
Ah, the big wig with the big wig.
It's all yours, Teddy.
688
00:42:26,169 --> 00:42:27,878
So Taj Palace Hotel, 8pm,
689
00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:32,885
and the big wig is gunning
for the Anglers, so look sharp.
690
00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:36,053
- Bye.
- Bye, Anjali.
691
00:42:36,054 --> 00:42:38,022
Brother...
692
00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:43,018
I think someone wants to oil your bat,
Theodore.
693
00:42:43,019 --> 00:42:44,770
No, no, she's here to help her dad.
694
00:42:44,771 --> 00:42:47,568
Mate, a girl like that
does not travel halfway across India
695
00:42:47,569 --> 00:42:49,283
just to be with her daddy.
696
00:42:49,284 --> 00:42:51,818
- Pad up and have a crack.
- Really?
697
00:42:51,819 --> 00:42:55,536
- Oh, you're just...
- No, I should ask Sanjeet first.
698
00:42:55,537 --> 00:42:58,909
- Mate, it's not a high-school formal.
- That's the way they do it in India.
699
00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:01,707
I need a yoghurt-based beverage
like I'll never love again.
700
00:43:01,708 --> 00:43:03,418
- Who's with me?
- Brother.
701
00:43:03,419 --> 00:43:06,588
Actually, is yoghurt good
for an upset stomach?
702
00:43:06,589 --> 00:43:09,428
- Is it?
STAV AND RICK: Bang on.
703
00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:22,557
You know, it tastes like
freshly cut grass smells.
704
00:43:22,558 --> 00:43:24,518
Organic.
705
00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:27,489
I've gotta go and speak to
Sanjeet and Subhash
706
00:43:27,490 --> 00:43:30,899
about his hallowed turf in Bombay...
Mumbai.
707
00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:33,699
- Anyway, is it Bombay or Mumbai?
- Relax.
708
00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:37,614
- So, mate...
- I think it's Bumbai. Is it Bum...
709
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:41,040
Teddy? Ted, would you be
the best man at my wedding?
710
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:43,829
It is Bumbai.
711
00:43:43,830 --> 00:43:46,502
Raf wants to have it
at her place in Barbados.
712
00:43:46,503 --> 00:43:50,174
I'd really like it if you and Stav could
be there with us. Internationals.
713
00:43:50,175 --> 00:43:52,963
We're thinking about moving there.
714
00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:58,061
You know, living on the beach, bringing
up a kid, no TV, just catching fish...
715
00:44:01,389 --> 00:44:03,983
- Yeah, you can't do that.
- What?
716
00:44:04,058 --> 00:44:09,229
That. There. You're the captain
of the Abbotsford Anglers.
717
00:44:09,230 --> 00:44:12,277
I'm talking about getting married
and having a baby, Ted.
718
00:44:12,278 --> 00:44:14,822
How about 'congratulations, mate'
or 'good luck'?
719
00:44:14,823 --> 00:44:17,034
I'm talking about a 20-year history
720
00:44:17,035 --> 00:44:19,450
with three premierships
and Saturday afternoons.
721
00:44:19,451 --> 00:44:22,418
We're a park cricket team, Ted.
We're 35...
722
00:44:22,419 --> 00:44:26,163
Sachin's 40.
He still plays, nothing changes.
723
00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:27,632
I don't get it.
724
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,420
You only get one innings in life.
725
00:44:33,421 --> 00:44:39,269
- I just want it to be like it was.
- It can't be how it was.
726
00:44:40,469 --> 00:44:43,894
And you can't be living
in Stav's garage anymore.
727
00:44:45,141 --> 00:44:47,642
STA V: Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, hey?
728
00:44:47,643 --> 00:44:49,361
He was supposed to tell you...
729
00:44:54,817 --> 00:44:56,568
It's time to grow up, Ted.
730
00:44:56,569 --> 00:44:58,822
PRINCE: Teddy Brown on the Bhang Lassis!
731
00:44:58,823 --> 00:45:02,532
Now, that is a train
we should all get on board.
732
00:45:02,533 --> 00:45:05,207
Can we have another round of 'specials',
thanks, Guv'nor?
733
00:45:06,579 --> 00:45:09,795
- What's in these drinks?
- It's no big deal, mate.
734
00:45:09,796 --> 00:45:11,836
- It's just a bit of weed.
- Oh, Ricky...
735
00:45:11,837 --> 00:45:14,883
We're just trying to loosen you up,
Sachin, play some shots.
736
00:45:14,884 --> 00:45:16,597
Rick...
737
00:45:19,258 --> 00:45:22,933
Doesn't anybody care that
we are playing for Australia tomorrow?
738
00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:32,485
Come on, Teddy! Teddy, come back!
739
00:45:59,131 --> 00:46:02,135
I Indian-influenced rock music.
740
00:47:13,914 --> 00:47:17,214
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
741
00:47:18,627 --> 00:47:21,838
You look like
an art installation, bro.
742
00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:25,884
- Are you in the right place?
- Happy Holi.
743
00:47:25,885 --> 00:47:28,308
Ted Brown, Abbotsford Anglers
Cricket Club on tour.
744
00:47:28,387 --> 00:47:31,015
Hey, we have a cricketer.
745
00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:33,391
He looks more like a dancer.
746
00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:36,316
You know, in fact, can you do us a show?
747
00:47:40,858 --> 00:47:43,323
Now, the poodle.
There's the poodle's friend.
748
00:47:43,324 --> 00:47:46,742
- Now they want their lawn mowed.
- The lawnmower! I like it!
749
00:47:46,743 --> 00:47:48,490
- Ted?
- Oh, Anjali! Am I late?
750
00:47:48,491 --> 00:47:51,620
- Am I late? I'm late!
- Do you know who that is?
751
00:47:51,621 --> 00:47:54,412
Tusshar Rai. He's a movie star.
752
00:47:54,413 --> 00:47:56,632
- 'Kiss & Tell' Tusshar Rai?
- Yes, yes, yes!
753
00:47:56,633 --> 00:48:00,418
You're the dude from telly.
The Bollywood Fonzie.
754
00:48:00,419 --> 00:48:02,379
Eehhhh!
755
00:48:02,380 --> 00:48:04,631
MAN: You're funny, yeah?
756
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:08,724
And you look too smart to be
hanging out with Mr Bojangles here.
757
00:48:08,725 --> 00:48:11,015
- What's your name?
- Anjali, actually.
758
00:48:11,016 --> 00:48:13,603
And she is smart, she's grown-up,
she's got two degrees
759
00:48:13,604 --> 00:48:16,398
and she can play cricket too,
which I didn't know until today -
760
00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:18,273
well done on that -
and do you know what?
761
00:48:18,274 --> 00:48:20,819
- What?
- She's hanging with me. Yeah.
762
00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:22,775
- You are out of your mind.
- I know!
763
00:48:22,858 --> 00:48:25,110
It was really lovely to meet you,
but we have to go.
764
00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:27,785
Do you think your dad would mind
if we just danced a little?
765
00:48:27,786 --> 00:48:33,493
Dance with her, Mr Bojangles, because
if you don't, somebody else will.
766
00:48:33,494 --> 00:48:35,713
Eehhhh!
767
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:40,458
Ted got caught up
in the Holi festivities.
768
00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:46,341
Yes. Looks like he took my suggestion
to embrace Indian culture.
769
00:48:47,591 --> 00:48:51,095
- You like India?
- Um, it's full-on.
770
00:48:51,178 --> 00:48:55,932
It is full-on, but the food
takes a little getting used to.
771
00:48:55,933 --> 00:48:59,733
You know, I got the squirts on the train
and it was pretty wrong.
772
00:48:59,734 --> 00:49:00,770
Ted...
773
00:49:00,771 --> 00:49:04,241
It sort of came out like a green curry.
Do you have Mr Whippy here?
774
00:49:04,242 --> 00:49:07,152
- Ted, don't talk about that...
- Hmm?
775
00:49:07,153 --> 00:49:08,862
This is madness.
776
00:49:08,863 --> 00:49:11,491
But there is something special
about this place.
777
00:49:11,492 --> 00:49:15,211
You know, it's the people.
They are beautiful.
778
00:49:19,290 --> 00:49:22,212
Actually, Sanjeet,
I do have something to ask you,
779
00:49:22,213 --> 00:49:24,052
and it's about your beautiful daughter.
780
00:49:24,128 --> 00:49:27,473
Stop right there!
Remember why you are here!
781
00:49:27,548 --> 00:49:30,800
A cricket tournament! And look at you!
782
00:49:30,801 --> 00:49:32,719
An embarrassment.
783
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:34,762
I can't believe, Sanjeet,
784
00:49:34,763 --> 00:49:40,602
you really thought this childish fool
could win you a cup, a trophy?
785
00:49:40,603 --> 00:49:43,188
Ha! Disgusting.
786
00:49:43,189 --> 00:49:47,365
- Subhash...
TED: Sanjeet... Sanj, Sanj...
787
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:51,112
Did I just lose your face?
788
00:49:51,113 --> 00:49:53,332
I have a question for you, Ted.
789
00:49:53,407 --> 00:49:57,118
The Anglers,
they aren't really A-grade, are they?
790
00:49:57,119 --> 00:50:00,669
Oh, no, we're just below C...
We're a D-grade team.
791
00:50:00,748 --> 00:50:03,672
I thought as much. Come, Anjali.
792
00:50:05,377 --> 00:50:08,722
Anj... Anj! Anj!
793
00:50:25,898 --> 00:50:27,774
We gonna bat or bowl first tomorrow,
Ted?
794
00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:30,403
Jesus, Col,
you scared the shit out of me.
795
00:50:30,404 --> 00:50:33,497
I was just looking back through
the stats and I think we should bowl.
796
00:50:33,498 --> 00:50:39,212
Can we just... not talk about cricket
for one second, please?
797
00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:46,010
Do you know if the whites came back
from the cleaners?
798
00:50:46,011 --> 00:50:47,674
Colin!
799
00:50:54,510 --> 00:50:58,721
No! Just something is not right.
800
00:50:58,722 --> 00:51:00,724
They might've been blessed
in a holy river,
801
00:51:00,808 --> 00:51:02,435
but these whites have come back pink.
802
00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:06,521
- Shit, shit, shit, shit!
- Yours not right either?
803
00:51:06,522 --> 00:51:10,743
- Have you been messing with my kit?
- I would never touch your kit.
804
00:51:14,488 --> 00:51:18,538
TED: Discipline -
it's what holds
any team together.
805
00:51:18,617 --> 00:51:20,711
Without it, a
leader has no authority
806
00:51:20,712 --> 00:51:24,879
and a
great team is little more
than a rudderless ship.
807
00:51:26,917 --> 00:51:28,544
PRINCE AND RICK: Whoa!
808
00:51:28,627 --> 00:51:30,254
RICK: Unnecessary.
809
00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:33,887
Oh, Teddy!
810
00:51:35,467 --> 00:51:39,722
The Little Master has blessed us
a joint on this auspicious occasion.
811
00:51:45,769 --> 00:51:48,938
- I should've picked this.
- What?
812
00:51:48,939 --> 00:51:53,194
I try to hold it all together,
make this team work for all of us
813
00:51:53,195 --> 00:51:55,570
and you treat it like a bloody joke.
814
00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:58,825
It's a joint, mate. Chillax, mate.
815
00:51:58,907 --> 00:52:01,751
We're gonna be at the game.
We'll play the game.
816
00:52:01,827 --> 00:52:05,163
No, don't come to the game.
You're suspended.
817
00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:07,379
- You're off the team indefinitely.
- Hang on.
818
00:52:07,380 --> 00:52:09,092
- Rick! Give it to me!
- Hang on...
819
00:52:09,093 --> 00:52:12,008
Oh, fuck. Look, you broke it.
820
00:52:12,087 --> 00:52:13,805
Well done.
821
00:52:17,551 --> 00:52:19,260
You're suspended...
822
00:52:19,261 --> 00:52:21,514
You're suspended too,
for breaking the Hector.
823
00:52:23,557 --> 00:52:25,308
Hector suspension.
824
00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:29,655
Hey, uh, good luck
to that kid of yours too.
825
00:52:31,023 --> 00:52:32,732
He's gonna need it.
826
00:52:32,733 --> 00:52:38,206
J' Indian-influenced psychedelia.
827
00:52:53,671 --> 00:52:57,382
Teddy! Teddy, how'd you go?
Did you score?
828
00:52:57,383 --> 00:53:00,227
- Don't even ask.
- Hey? How was dinner?
829
00:53:13,148 --> 00:53:16,651
Teddy goes to Bollywood.
830
00:53:16,652 --> 00:53:18,370
I knew I should have been there.
831
00:53:18,371 --> 00:53:22,583
Sanjeet was not impressed,
and the big wig wants to kill me.
832
00:53:22,658 --> 00:53:24,659
We have to win today.
833
00:53:24,660 --> 00:53:27,664
Well, suspending Ricky may not have been
the smartest move, then.
834
00:53:27,665 --> 00:53:30,633
He doesn't give a shit about the game.
I should have sent him home.
835
00:53:30,708 --> 00:53:32,802
That's a bit extreme.
Now we're one man short.
836
00:53:32,876 --> 00:53:36,921
I'm extreme.
Well, maybe I should go home, then.
837
00:53:36,922 --> 00:53:40,301
- Hey?
- Back to the garage?
838
00:53:45,681 --> 00:53:47,399
So who's captain?
839
00:53:53,313 --> 00:53:55,653
I wanna call heads. Which side is heads?
840
00:53:55,654 --> 00:53:58,072
- Deer is head.
- Deer? I call deer.
841
00:53:58,073 --> 00:54:00,403
- Deer head.
- Deer.
842
00:54:00,404 --> 00:54:02,488
- Head.
- Is that a deer?
843
00:54:02,489 --> 00:54:05,288
Yes! We're gonna bowl.
You're going down.
844
00:54:05,367 --> 00:54:07,961
- Stavy...
- Come on, Anglers!
845
00:54:08,036 --> 00:54:10,037
Bring it in. We're gonna
have a bowl, yeah?
846
00:54:10,038 --> 00:54:13,004
This is much more our style -
small ground, bouncy wicket
847
00:54:13,005 --> 00:54:15,215
and an opposition in weirder outfits
than us, OK?
848
00:54:15,216 --> 00:54:17,506
In the absence of the Angler formerly
known as Rick,
849
00:54:17,507 --> 00:54:19,343
Teddy, you are keeping today, my friend.
850
00:54:19,344 --> 00:54:20,803
They are not regulation whites.
851
00:54:20,804 --> 00:54:22,300
One of their players has no shoes.
852
00:54:22,301 --> 00:54:25,724
That's all perfect, mate. Let's crush
some toes and head to Mumbai winners.
853
00:54:25,725 --> 00:54:28,224
- You right, Anglers?
- Let's go, Anglers! Come on!
854
00:54:28,225 --> 00:54:30,021
Going-down toy boys!
855
00:54:38,317 --> 00:54:40,319
MAN: Go, stavy!
856
00:54:47,159 --> 00:54:48,706
MAN 2: Come on, Anglers!
857
00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:56,213
TED: Lovely nuts!
858
00:54:57,252 --> 00:54:58,879
- Catch it!
- Mine!
859
00:55:01,507 --> 00:55:04,056
MAN: Stav!
MAN 2: Keeper, keeper!
860
00:55:06,678 --> 00:55:09,557
Punter, two more from that end.
Shads, you bring it up from here.
861
00:55:11,517 --> 00:55:14,066
MAN: Catch it, catch it!
- Mine! Oh!
862
00:55:15,854 --> 00:55:17,276
STAV: Lightning, Shadow!
863
00:55:17,277 --> 00:55:19,616
MAN: Get there!
864
00:55:23,612 --> 00:55:25,114
SEVERAL: Catch him!
865
00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:28,909
MAN: Good enough, Gobbs! Good enough!
866
00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:43,548
MAN: Anglers!
867
00:55:43,549 --> 00:55:47,093
TED: This is good. Come on, boys.
We can win this.
868
00:55:47,094 --> 00:55:49,062
GOBBA: Well bowled, boys.
Anglers on top!
869
00:55:49,137 --> 00:55:51,934
PUNTER: Time to bet big, fellas.
We are hot favourites today.
870
00:55:51,935 --> 00:55:54,060
A hot captain has a lot to do with that
Punter.
871
00:55:54,061 --> 00:55:56,230
Two words - leadership qualities.
872
00:55:56,231 --> 00:55:57,730
Alright, here's the scoop.
873
00:55:57,731 --> 00:55:59,900
Gobba, Punter, pad up. You're opening.
874
00:55:59,901 --> 00:56:02,617
I'm a three, of course.
Teddy, rock-solid at four.
875
00:56:02,618 --> 00:56:05,862
Shads, five. Hangarz, Brett and Prince.
876
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:08,241
Let me open. I can make
that total off my own bat.
877
00:56:08,242 --> 00:56:10,992
Anyone who's not a real Abbotsford
Angler can bat at number 11.
878
00:56:10,993 --> 00:56:13,371
MAN: Stav...
- There's only ten of us, Stavros.
879
00:56:13,372 --> 00:56:15,666
- Ricky's not playing.
- Congratulations, Marky.
880
00:56:15,667 --> 00:56:18,042
- You've been promoted to number ten.
- This is bullshit!
881
00:56:18,043 --> 00:56:20,920
I didn't come to India to get
jerked around by a bunch of dickheads!
882
00:56:20,921 --> 00:56:23,217
There is no 'I' in
'Abbotsford Anglers', yeah?
883
00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:25,425
Yeah?
884
00:56:28,218 --> 00:56:29,719
Come on!
885
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:32,690
We are all one, brothers -
separation is the illusion.
886
00:56:32,691 --> 00:56:38,227
Let me go! You dinosaurs don't know how
to win. The game has passed you by.
887
00:56:38,228 --> 00:56:40,938
Relax, TeddY!
888
00:56:40,939 --> 00:56:43,360
I'm fine. We can chase
this score down easily,
889
00:56:43,361 --> 00:56:44,905
with or without Justin Beebop.
890
00:56:51,783 --> 00:56:54,368
MAN: Let's go, Punter!
891
00:56:54,369 --> 00:56:55,962
Head down, Punter!
892
00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:06,264
If you want a job done right...
893
00:57:20,812 --> 00:57:22,689
Oh, fuck me!
894
00:57:24,191 --> 00:57:26,569
MAN: Catch it! CROWD: Ooh!
895
00:57:28,904 --> 00:57:30,998
0h!
896
00:57:33,116 --> 00:57:34,993
- No, no, no, no, no!
SOME: Argh!
897
00:57:35,077 --> 00:57:38,081
Alright, Colin, just steady, mate.
We've still got this.
898
00:57:38,082 --> 00:57:40,501
Don't panic - let Teddy just
grind it out, alright?
899
00:57:40,502 --> 00:57:42,092
- Nothing stupid.
- Alright.
900
00:57:42,167 --> 00:57:45,878
- Jesus, Colin.
- Every ball on its merits, Colin!
901
00:57:45,879 --> 00:57:47,802
Every ball on its merits!
902
00:57:50,634 --> 00:57:52,468
SEVERAL: Howzat?!
903
00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:55,018
I didn't touch it! I didn't touch it!
904
00:57:55,019 --> 00:57:56,731
But I didn't touch it!
905
00:58:01,687 --> 00:58:03,234
MAN: Let's go, Anglers!
906
00:58:03,235 --> 00:58:05,439
You're an Angler, brother!
907
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:08,401
Only three runs. That's all we need.
908
00:58:08,402 --> 00:58:11,372
Just nothing rash. Just take it easy.
909
00:58:11,446 --> 00:58:13,948
This is just how I planned it,
Marky Mark.
910
00:58:13,949 --> 00:58:16,168
Setting you up to be the hero, brother!
911
00:58:16,169 --> 00:58:18,411
Let's go, my brother!
912
00:58:18,412 --> 00:58:21,382
MAN: Finish him off!
MAN 2: Back him up, Teddy!
913
00:58:21,383 --> 00:58:23,582
STAVROS: We're a team, boys!
914
00:58:23,583 --> 00:58:25,426
Easy, bOY-
915
00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:34,051
Oh, Mark!
916
00:58:34,052 --> 00:58:36,262
MAN: What are you doing?!
917
00:58:36,263 --> 00:58:38,347
TED: Mark!
918
00:58:38,348 --> 00:58:40,808
He's thrown the game!
919
00:58:40,809 --> 00:58:42,777
Argh!
920
00:58:45,564 --> 00:58:48,943
Now we win, huh?
Because you have only ten players.
921
00:58:53,447 --> 00:58:56,198
Just hang... Just hang on a sec.
922
00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:59,410
Just three runs. I'll do the hitting.
923
00:58:59,411 --> 00:59:02,627
- I can't.
- You don't even have to face a ball.
924
00:59:02,628 --> 00:59:04,837
Just stand at the other end,
holding a bat.
925
00:59:04,838 --> 00:59:07,548
- I haven't played for 20 years.
- You never lose it.
926
00:59:07,549 --> 00:59:09,091
Cricket, it's in your blood.
927
00:59:16,928 --> 00:59:18,971
If we lose, we're out.
928
00:59:18,972 --> 00:59:20,724
Finished.
929
00:59:20,807 --> 00:59:24,562
But if we beat these guys,
we're into the finals in Bombay.
930
00:59:24,563 --> 00:59:27,155
For you. For us.
931
00:59:29,900 --> 00:59:32,824
And it would really piss Subhash off,
no?
932
00:59:35,197 --> 00:59:36,949
Just three runs.
933
00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:44,288
MAN: Go, boys!
934
00:59:44,289 --> 00:59:47,714
MAN 2: Just three runs! Bring him on!
935
01:00:02,349 --> 01:00:04,568
Run!
936
01:00:10,941 --> 01:00:13,444
Just the one! Just the one!
937
01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:17,493
One more!
938
01:00:31,461 --> 01:00:34,340
Argh, fff...!
939
01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:03,492
Hello.
940
01:01:03,493 --> 01:01:05,962
Mr Thambuswamy has had an infarction.
941
01:01:06,037 --> 01:01:07,872
An infection?
942
01:01:07,873 --> 01:01:09,375
No, an infarct.
943
01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:11,672
What, like, he's totally 'farked'?
944
01:01:11,673 --> 01:01:14,262
Not totally.
A small infarction of the heart.
945
01:01:14,263 --> 01:01:16,052
Oh, Jesus.
946
01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:20,301
It's the formation of an infarct.
947
01:01:20,302 --> 01:01:24,138
The artery may be blocked
by an embolus, thrombus
948
01:01:24,139 --> 01:01:25,890
or arteriosclerotic plaque.
949
01:01:25,891 --> 01:01:29,018
He can surely be fine,
950
01:01:29,019 --> 01:01:32,444
as long as he doesn't
take up Twenty20, yeah?
951
01:01:35,483 --> 01:01:38,280
Well, you sacked Ricky,
we're out of the tournament
952
01:01:38,281 --> 01:01:40,279
and you've given
the old man a heart attack.
953
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:42,952
All the best getting into
his daughter's pants now.
954
01:01:42,953 --> 01:01:44,663
- Are you...
- Stav needs a drink.
955
01:01:44,664 --> 01:01:46,627
If you need him, he'll be at the Taj.
956
01:01:46,628 --> 01:01:48,829
Gentlemen, it's been deep.
957
01:01:48,830 --> 01:01:50,832
Ted, you right?
958
01:01:52,083 --> 01:01:53,630
MAN: See you, Teddy.
959
01:01:55,921 --> 01:01:57,639
What were you thinking?
960
01:01:59,883 --> 01:02:02,009
We only needed two runs.
961
01:02:02,010 --> 01:02:05,137
It's a game. He's an old man.
962
01:02:05,138 --> 01:02:06,931
Easy on the 'old'.
963
01:02:06,932 --> 01:02:11,274
It was so close. If Rick had been there,
it would've been different.
964
01:02:11,275 --> 01:02:13,567
- Yes.
- Is that all you care about then?
965
01:02:13,568 --> 01:02:16,357
- Winning?
- No...
966
01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:18,201
- Yes!
- Yeah.
967
01:02:18,276 --> 01:02:19,818
Yeah.
968
01:02:19,819 --> 01:02:23,824
- I made a promise...
- It's OK, Ted. It's OK. I understand.
969
01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:26,410
He's just trying his best
for something he believes in.
970
01:02:26,411 --> 01:02:29,832
What does he believe in?
I'll tell you what he believes in.
971
01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:32,252
He believes that men
can be little boys forever.
972
01:02:32,253 --> 01:02:34,041
Playing games.
973
01:02:34,042 --> 01:02:35,669
Isn't that right?
974
01:02:41,633 --> 01:02:43,681
I think you should go now, Ted.
975
01:02:45,387 --> 01:02:46,934
Yeah.
976
01:02:51,309 --> 01:02:53,277
You...
977
01:04:01,379 --> 01:04:03,131
HEY-
978
01:04:05,258 --> 01:04:06,976
Hey, mate.
979
01:04:10,889 --> 01:04:12,639
I'm sorry.
980
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:14,808
About the box.
981
01:04:14,809 --> 01:04:17,107
And the yoghurt drink.
982
01:04:18,229 --> 01:04:19,697
And the tour.
983
01:04:20,774 --> 01:04:22,321
There's no excuses.
984
01:04:26,071 --> 01:04:27,994
Things are changing, man...
985
01:04:29,157 --> 01:04:32,957
so fast that I'm scared too.
I'm so scared.
986
01:04:34,454 --> 01:04:36,877
MAN: Gentlemen!
987
01:04:40,668 --> 01:04:42,762
Where have you been, man?
988
01:04:42,837 --> 01:04:44,339
Be-bop!
989
01:04:45,882 --> 01:04:49,348
I have been at the Taj, brother,
with Teddy's Bollywood mates.
990
01:04:49,349 --> 01:04:51,517
They speak very highly
of your dancing, Teddy.
991
01:04:51,596 --> 01:04:53,974
They said we should just turn up
to the finals anyway.
992
01:04:54,057 --> 01:04:57,643
- Stav...
- Anything can happen in Bollywood!
993
01:04:57,644 --> 01:05:00,521
Sachin's home turf! Whee-hee!
994
01:05:00,522 --> 01:05:02,024
- Come on.
- Teddy?
995
01:05:02,107 --> 01:05:04,650
Let's give Sachin back his box, eh?
996
01:05:04,651 --> 01:05:07,655
- How's that sound?
- No. It's stumps.
997
01:05:07,737 --> 01:05:09,990
- What?
- See you later, Anglers. It's over.
998
01:05:09,991 --> 01:05:12,993
-
Mate, it's not all over.
-
We've got a
buck's party to go to!
999
01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:14,623
- Whoo!
- Bollywood, baby!
1000
01:05:14,624 --> 01:05:17,079
Do you guys not get it? It's over!
1001
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:20,505
If you don't wanna play cricket
anymore, fine. You got what you wanted.
1002
01:05:20,506 --> 01:05:24,378
Have a look at you.
Go and party some more, Stav.
1003
01:05:24,379 --> 01:05:27,804
Go to Bollywood. You go
and smoke crack out of the box
1004
01:05:27,805 --> 01:05:30,717
or give it to the next bloke
who tells me
1005
01:05:30,718 --> 01:05:33,437
he's Sachin Tendulkar's long-lost
frickin' brother!
1006
01:05:33,438 --> 01:05:35,603
I am... I'm done!
1007
01:06:03,418 --> 01:06:05,420
MAN: Ted.
1008
01:06:06,379 --> 01:06:08,427
I'll be leaving the tour in Mumbai.
1009
01:06:08,506 --> 01:06:10,549
I got a gig on another team.
1010
01:06:10,550 --> 01:06:13,679
They think I can do really well here.
IPL, even.
1011
01:06:16,306 --> 01:06:18,650
Anyway...
1012
01:06:29,277 --> 01:06:32,121
STAV: Yeah, that'd be great, mate,
and a big banner.
1013
01:06:32,197 --> 01:06:35,788
Like something... Yeah, Rick's.
No, not with an 'X'.
1014
01:06:35,789 --> 01:06:38,624
Excellent, and you make it here
in your store?
1015
01:06:38,625 --> 01:06:41,041
- Yeah, yeah.
- And you can do gold stripes on blue?
1016
01:06:41,042 --> 01:06:43,588
- Yeah, gold stripe, yeah.
- You can do it by tonight?
1017
01:06:43,589 --> 01:06:45,918
- We need 11.
- Definitely, sir.
1018
01:06:45,919 --> 01:06:49,217
Mumbai's 24/7, mate.
Anything you want, you can get.
1019
01:06:49,218 --> 01:06:50,682
- Anything?
- Anything.
1020
01:06:50,757 --> 01:06:53,351
You hear that, Stav? Anything we want.
1021
01:06:53,426 --> 01:06:54,973
We're on, and they've got a team.
1022
01:06:55,929 --> 01:06:58,398
Yeah!
1023
01:06:59,516 --> 01:07:02,144
Hello, sir. Hello, sir.
You like this one?
1024
01:07:02,145 --> 01:07:05,521
You like this one?
100 rupees only, sir.
1025
01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:09,197
- For wife, your children?
- We don't want it. Go away.
1026
01:07:09,198 --> 01:07:11,069
Go away!
1027
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:16,782
Is a buck's party an official function?
1028
01:07:16,783 --> 01:07:20,118
We should probably wear our uniforms.
1029
01:07:20,119 --> 01:07:22,793
Will Sanjeet be there?
1030
01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:26,208
Lucky you didn't kill him.
1031
01:07:26,209 --> 01:07:29,127
That'd be a new one for the scorebook.
1032
01:07:29,128 --> 01:07:30,971
'Dead before wicket.'
1033
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:34,384
That's funny!
1034
01:07:34,467 --> 01:07:35,969
Well, now.
1035
01:07:39,264 --> 01:07:40,811
You'll be alright, Teddy.
1036
01:07:42,809 --> 01:07:45,733
We'll get some new players
when we get back home.
1037
01:07:45,734 --> 01:07:48,277
Start all over again.
1038
01:07:53,570 --> 01:07:55,743
MAN: No entry without today ticket.
1039
01:07:55,744 --> 01:07:58,407
The counter is in there, isn't it?
1040
01:07:58,408 --> 01:08:01,910
So how can I change my ticket
if I'm out here?
1041
01:08:01,911 --> 01:08:04,039
No entry without today ticket.
1042
01:08:05,290 --> 01:08:09,007
There, check my bag. See?
Gloves and pads and all sorts...?
1043
01:08:09,008 --> 01:08:11,846
- Australian cricketer?
- That's right, I am.
1044
01:08:11,847 --> 01:08:14,887
- Ah, Ricky Ponting?
- I am Ricky Ponting!
1045
01:08:14,966 --> 01:08:17,259
- Have that.
- Oh!
1046
01:08:17,260 --> 01:08:19,052
Can I go now?
1047
01:08:19,053 --> 01:08:21,351
Thank you.
1048
01:08:27,687 --> 01:08:30,907
MAN, ON TV: He's done it!
1049
01:08:34,152 --> 01:08:37,118
WOMAN, ON TV: The cricket world
is buzzing today
1050
01:08:37,119 --> 01:08:38,784
with rumours that Sachin Tendulkar
1051
01:08:38,785 --> 01:08:41,997
is about to announce his retirement
from international cricket.
1052
01:08:41,998 --> 01:08:44,620
Known the world over
as 'The Little Master',
1053
01:08:44,621 --> 01:08:47,499
Tendulkar has spent more
than 20 years at the top,
1054
01:08:47,500 --> 01:08:50,250
the most decorated
and dedicated player in history.
1055
01:08:50,251 --> 01:08:54,381
Sources close to him have revealed
he has played his last game for India
1056
01:08:54,382 --> 01:08:56,845
and he is about to make
a
statement to the press.
1057
01:08:56,846 --> 01:08:59,681
It is believed that
while he will miss the game he loves,
1058
01:08:59,682 --> 01:09:02,476
it's time to focus on his friends
and growing family.
1059
01:09:02,477 --> 01:09:07,309
SACHIN: Now, my life
has started, actually.
1060
01:09:07,310 --> 01:09:10,314
You can wake up in the morning
and complain to God
1061
01:09:10,315 --> 01:09:11,902
for things you wish you had.
1062
01:09:11,903 --> 01:09:13,899
That way, you'll never be happy.
1063
01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:18,326
Or you can wake up in the morning
and thank God for what you do have -
1064
01:09:18,327 --> 01:09:22,157
your friends, your family,
your loved ones.
1065
01:09:22,158 --> 01:09:24,868
This is the way to happiness.
1066
01:09:24,869 --> 01:09:30,592
If you rejoice in the way things are,
the world belongs to you.
1067
01:09:53,189 --> 01:09:55,148
TED: Sometimes, as a
leader,
1068
01:09:55,149 --> 01:09:58,619
you've got to be man enough to recognise
when your game plan isn't working.
1069
01:09:58,620 --> 01:10:02,957
And that's time for reinvention
and a whole new approach.
1070
01:10:05,410 --> 01:10:08,835
Mate, sorry. Can we just stop?
Just here.
1071
01:10:20,258 --> 01:10:22,226
Go, Bretty! Go, Bretty!
1072
01:10:29,016 --> 01:10:30,642
Looking sharp, Ricky!
1073
01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:32,227
Ah!
1074
01:10:32,228 --> 01:10:34,521
Uniforms open doors.
1075
01:10:34,522 --> 01:10:37,190
Ah! Hug it out.
1076
01:10:37,191 --> 01:10:39,568
Hug it out.
1077
01:10:39,569 --> 01:10:41,319
Hey, nice pa PW!
1078
01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:44,790
It's a party now. Thought you
weren't coming for a second.
1079
01:10:47,493 --> 01:10:51,623
Oh, mate! I love it. What is it?
1080
01:10:51,706 --> 01:10:53,549
It's not for you, it's for the baby.
1081
01:10:53,550 --> 01:10:59,423
It's Hanuman, monkey god of
self-control, faith and pure devotion.
1082
01:10:59,505 --> 01:11:02,133
- Did you just make that up?
- I may have, yeah.
1083
01:11:02,216 --> 01:11:04,810
Soft toy. Nice touch. Come here.
1084
01:11:04,886 --> 01:11:07,637
Hey?
1085
01:11:07,638 --> 01:11:09,184
Now, where have you been?
1086
01:11:09,185 --> 01:11:11,272
Your Bollywood mates
have started to fret.
1087
01:11:11,273 --> 01:11:14,064
- I like to keep them waiting.
- Well, let's go. You too, Ricky.
1088
01:11:14,065 --> 01:11:16,188
What do you boys think of my commission?
1089
01:11:16,189 --> 01:11:18,153
Yeah, it's good.
Is that you in the middle?
1090
01:11:18,154 --> 01:11:20,572
RICK: Do I look like John Farnham?
TED: A little.
1091
01:11:21,736 --> 01:11:24,114
Ladies and gentlemen
of the Bollywood Glitterati,
1092
01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:25,744
how hot is peach?
1093
01:11:28,493 --> 01:11:30,619
I'd like to propose a toast.
1094
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:33,999
To the young Buck,
the ravishing Rick Shaw.
1095
01:11:37,460 --> 01:11:39,963
And secondly,
to the fashionably late.
1096
01:11:39,964 --> 01:11:43,136
President of the wildest
cricket tour on record,
1097
01:11:43,216 --> 01:11:45,594
ladies and gentlemen,
Mr Downtown Teddy Brown!
1098
01:11:48,971 --> 01:11:51,681
Look who's here - Mr Bojangles.
1099
01:11:51,682 --> 01:11:54,151
Are you gonna dance for us?
1100
01:11:54,227 --> 01:11:58,647
No, no, no dancing tonight.
But mind if I make a speech?
1101
01:11:58,648 --> 01:12:01,151
Yeah! Go, Teddy! Speech!
1102
01:12:05,446 --> 01:12:10,408
Uh, I guess a buck's night
is all about
1103
01:12:10,409 --> 01:12:15,247
saying goodbye to an old life
and hello to a new one.
1104
01:12:15,248 --> 01:12:20,210
I for one haven't been ready to let go
of the way we've always been.
1105
01:12:20,211 --> 01:12:23,010
But things are changing.
1106
01:12:25,383 --> 01:12:28,762
Life's not about clinging tight
to what you once had.
1107
01:12:28,763 --> 01:12:32,639
It's like Rick, it's having a crack
at something new.
1108
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:34,808
It's manning up.
1109
01:12:34,809 --> 01:12:40,191
Because, well,
we're not little boys anymore.
1110
01:12:41,816 --> 01:12:44,818
So this is a little overdue.
1111
01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:48,280
Congratulations, Ricky,
on finding 'The One'.
1112
01:12:48,281 --> 01:12:50,156
MAN: Good on you, Ricky!
1113
01:12:50,157 --> 01:12:51,875
I wish you nothing but the best.
1114
01:12:51,876 --> 01:12:54,462
Thank you.
1115
01:12:56,747 --> 01:12:58,498
Think quick, Teddy, think quick!
1116
01:12:58,499 --> 01:13:02,254
MAN: Say thanks, Teddy!
MAN: Show us!
1117
01:13:06,632 --> 01:13:08,259
I gotta take it off first!
1118
01:13:13,055 --> 01:13:17,652
Look, guys, cricket is just a game.
1119
01:13:17,727 --> 01:13:20,480
CROWD: Come on, Teddy...
- No, no, I've realised.
1120
01:13:20,481 --> 01:13:22,527
It's about priorities.
1121
01:13:23,941 --> 01:13:28,287
Family and friends and lovers,
that's all we've got.
1122
01:13:31,699 --> 01:13:33,246
I love you, Anglers.
1123
01:13:37,079 --> 01:13:38,877
I love you too, Teddy Brown!
1124
01:13:38,878 --> 01:13:41,708
We all love you, Teddy.
1125
01:13:41,709 --> 01:13:43,668
ALL: We love you, Teddy!
1126
01:13:43,669 --> 01:13:46,671
I think I'm gonna puke.
1127
01:13:46,672 --> 01:13:49,767
That's the problem with
Aussie cricket these days, man.
1128
01:13:49,768 --> 01:13:53,929
You guys are all New-Age
and metrosexual.
1129
01:13:53,930 --> 01:13:56,558
You come to India,
lose every single game,
1130
01:13:56,559 --> 01:13:59,059
yet have the audacity to celebrate?
1131
01:13:59,060 --> 01:14:00,977
MAN: Oh, get out!
1132
01:14:00,978 --> 01:14:03,948
That's not how it would be
in my team, Mr Bojangles.
1133
01:14:03,949 --> 01:14:07,359
- Sorry, your team?
STAV: That's right, Teddy.
1134
01:14:07,360 --> 01:14:09,527
The Fonz has a cricket team.
1135
01:14:09,528 --> 01:14:12,748
This is India. Everyone has a team.
1136
01:14:15,493 --> 01:14:17,369
Alright.
1137
01:14:17,370 --> 01:14:19,120
One final game.
1138
01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:21,965
Your Bollywood posers versus
my New School Anglers.
1139
01:14:21,966 --> 01:14:23,505
Twenty20 style!
1140
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:27,718
Teddy, quickly, we have a problem.
1141
01:14:27,797 --> 01:14:31,800
Mark is gone, we're one short.
We can't field a team.
1142
01:14:31,801 --> 01:14:33,468
Ah.
1143
01:14:33,469 --> 01:14:36,814
Who else is gonna look good
in Angler blue?
1144
01:14:39,558 --> 01:14:41,105
Don't even think about it.
1145
01:14:43,187 --> 01:14:45,155
J' Bollywood.
1146
01:14:56,158 --> 01:14:58,159
It's a marvellous night
for cricket here
1147
01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,161
at the glittering
Bombay Cricket Club,
1148
01:15:00,162 --> 01:15:02,130
and the celebrities
have come out to play
1149
01:15:02,206 --> 01:15:04,791
an impromptu international challenge.
1150
01:15:04,792 --> 01:15:07,386
Super hunk Tusshar Rai
has gathered together
1151
01:15:07,387 --> 01:15:09,379
a star-studded Bollywood team
1152
01:15:09,380 --> 01:15:10,925
and they're going to take on
1153
01:15:10,926 --> 01:15:12,766
the unknown team from Down Under,
1154
01:15:12,767 --> 01:15:14,351
the Abbotsford Anglers.
1155
01:15:14,427 --> 01:15:16,930
J' Bollywood song.
1156
01:15:36,073 --> 01:15:38,451
Yes, Anjie! Keep up! Keep up!
1157
01:15:40,870 --> 01:15:43,542
COMMENTATOR: Listen to the roar
of the crowd
1158
01:15:43,543 --> 01:15:45,460
as this Twenty20 match comes to life.
1159
01:15:45,461 --> 01:15:47,504
The Anglers are working hard
in the field,
1160
01:15:47,505 --> 01:15:49,172
but do they have any answers
1161
01:15:49,173 --> 01:15:52,014
for the hard-hitting hero
from Bollywood, Tusshar Rai?
1162
01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:11,649
We need a bit of magic.
1163
01:16:11,650 --> 01:16:13,402
What you got, Prince?
1164
01:16:15,237 --> 01:16:17,331
No idea.
1165
01:16:17,406 --> 01:16:20,658
PRINCE: But the best way
to find yourself
1166
01:16:20,659 --> 01:16:23,333
is to lose yourself in the service
of others.
1167
01:16:40,679 --> 01:16:42,226
He)!' Fonzie!
1168
01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:49,229
Now, Anglers, Anglers, Anglers.
1169
01:16:49,230 --> 01:16:51,898
I said a lot of things at Rick's party.
1170
01:16:51,899 --> 01:16:54,869
Things about life
and love and fluffy toys.
1171
01:16:56,112 --> 01:16:58,240
I want you to forget everything I said.
1172
01:16:58,241 --> 01:17:02,244
Alright? Right now,
it is about this Australian team
1173
01:17:02,326 --> 01:17:04,327
winning a game of cricket in India!
1174
01:17:04,328 --> 01:17:06,830
Come on!
1175
01:17:06,831 --> 01:17:08,253
Get out there!
1176
01:17:16,507 --> 01:17:19,509
Stop the game! Stop the game!
1177
01:17:19,510 --> 01:17:21,478
Stop the game!
1178
01:17:23,681 --> 01:17:25,348
This is a private club!
1179
01:17:25,349 --> 01:17:27,350
MAN: What's the problem?
What's going on?
1180
01:17:27,351 --> 01:17:29,570
Let the boys play.
This is nothing to do with you.
1181
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:31,691
Mr Subhash, Mark.
What are you doing here?
1182
01:17:31,692 --> 01:17:34,361
You have no right to set foot
on this hallowed turf.
1183
01:17:34,362 --> 01:17:38,113
I know, we messed up in Varanasi
and I've apologised to Sanjeet.
1184
01:17:38,114 --> 01:17:40,490
RICK: No, I'm sorry,
I should have been there.
1185
01:17:40,491 --> 01:17:41,703
I was off my face...
1186
01:17:41,704 --> 01:17:43,952
I did get a bit Alpha that clay,
just a little bit.
1187
01:17:43,953 --> 01:17:46,329
No, I should apologise
for throwing the match.
1188
01:17:46,330 --> 01:17:49,753
- But I take 100% responsibility...
- Oh, come on, stop it!
1189
01:17:49,754 --> 01:17:52,500
Stop it! This is a private club!
1190
01:17:52,501 --> 01:17:54,720
Only for members! By invitation!
1191
01:17:54,795 --> 01:17:57,548
Yeah, I'm a member.
Who are you?
1192
01:18:00,759 --> 01:18:04,182
Mr Subhash, you know
Tusshar Rai, Bollywood superstar?
1193
01:18:04,183 --> 01:18:07,059
He seems to have an issue
with his 'hallowed turf'.
1194
01:18:07,060 --> 01:18:08,892
They're my guests.
1195
01:18:08,893 --> 01:18:12,568
SUBHASH: This team is masquerading
as A-grade cricketers.
1196
01:18:12,569 --> 01:18:14,736
Ha! You should be ashamed.
1197
01:18:14,815 --> 01:18:17,111
And you should stop
masquerading as a redhead.
1198
01:18:17,112 --> 01:18:19,362
That polyester rug isn't fooling anyone.
1199
01:18:21,572 --> 01:18:23,950
Come on, Anglers, you can win this.
1200
01:18:28,579 --> 01:18:30,126
Very funny.
1201
01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:14,800
TED: Mate, great innings.
Let's go, Punter.
1202
01:19:16,835 --> 01:19:18,382
Well done.
1203
01:19:20,589 --> 01:19:22,262
Well played, champ.
1204
01:19:23,425 --> 01:19:24,927
We're gonna win this.
1205
01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:31,102
I've got something for you.
Calm the nerves.
1206
01:19:31,103 --> 01:19:33,102
Mate, I don't need your uppers
or your downers
1207
01:19:33,185 --> 01:19:35,734
or your mummy's little sideways helpers.
Mate, I'm good.
1208
01:19:37,648 --> 01:19:40,071
You're Sachin today. Wear it.
1209
01:19:42,611 --> 01:19:44,113
How did...
1210
01:19:44,196 --> 01:19:46,911
Well, holy man rescued it for us
from the River Ganges.
1211
01:19:46,912 --> 01:19:48,409
It's totally blessed now.
1212
01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:51,045
Come on!
1213
01:20:00,838 --> 01:20:02,431
Good time, Gobb!
1214
01:20:15,686 --> 01:20:17,484
CROWD: Oh...
1215
01:20:27,531 --> 01:20:28,703
Argh!
1216
01:20:38,459 --> 01:20:40,710
Well, it's all happening here.
1217
01:20:40,711 --> 01:20:44,341
The wickets keep tumbling and now
the Anglers need just six runs to win
1218
01:20:44,342 --> 01:20:46,007
up the final over.
1219
01:20:46,008 --> 01:20:49,306
It's crunch time for the tourists
and their president, Ted Brown.
1220
01:20:49,307 --> 01:20:52,143
Can he handle
the pressure-cooker atmosphere?
1221
01:20:52,144 --> 01:20:55,109
This is what cricket is all about.
Here we go.
1222
01:20:56,727 --> 01:20:58,311
Come on, Ted.
1223
01:20:58,312 --> 01:21:00,155
- Let's go, Teddy!
- Come on, Teddy!
1224
01:21:01,482 --> 01:21:03,191
MAN: Come on, Teddy!
1225
01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:05,911
Alright. Stay focused.
1226
01:21:05,986 --> 01:21:09,280
Alright? Six to win. Six balls left.
1227
01:21:09,281 --> 01:21:11,157
- You are the man for the job.
- Yes, I am.
1228
01:21:11,158 --> 01:21:13,456
- Best batsman in the club's history.
- That's correct.
1229
01:21:13,535 --> 01:21:15,162
- That's why you're number 3.
- Mm-hm.
1230
01:21:15,245 --> 01:21:18,539
And Maiden Century on foreign soil -
the dream.
1231
01:21:18,540 --> 01:21:20,755
Please, shut up, Ted. Shut up, shut up.
1232
01:21:20,756 --> 01:21:24,092
The reason I didn't tell you about
kicking you out of the garage is...
1233
01:21:24,093 --> 01:21:25,802
Teddy, please, please, please.
1234
01:21:25,803 --> 01:21:27,926
Is because I really like
having you around.
1235
01:21:30,636 --> 01:21:33,476
But it's Janine. It's Janine, alright?
She wants a yoga studio.
1236
01:21:33,477 --> 01:21:35,816
I really want a man cave
but she's very persuasive.
1237
01:21:35,817 --> 01:21:38,768
- She talks and I can't...
- It's OK.
1238
01:21:38,769 --> 01:21:40,316
It's time.
1239
01:21:42,189 --> 01:21:44,607
Just bring it home.
1240
01:21:44,608 --> 01:21:47,157
- So we're good.
- Mate.
1241
01:21:49,196 --> 01:21:51,406
MAN: Bring it home!
1242
01:21:51,407 --> 01:21:53,616
CROWD: Come on, Stav! Come on!
1243
01:21:53,617 --> 01:21:55,868
Six runs, baby, come on.
1244
01:21:55,869 --> 01:21:57,792
Take the glory, Stav. It's all yours.
1245
01:21:59,998 --> 01:22:01,545
Play your natural game.
1246
01:22:10,342 --> 01:22:12,060
Come on, baby, let's go, let's go.
1247
01:22:12,136 --> 01:22:13,934
All good, Teddy, all good.
1248
01:22:17,349 --> 01:22:19,392
- MAN: Do it again...
- Stav.
1249
01:22:19,393 --> 01:22:21,566
- Come on, mate.
- Have a crack!
1250
01:22:21,645 --> 01:22:23,397
Come on, Stav!
1251
01:22:32,656 --> 01:22:34,829
No, Ted, no, no, just the one!
Just the one!
1252
01:22:37,035 --> 01:22:38,787
Stavy, what are you doing?
1253
01:22:41,582 --> 01:22:43,300
Why didn't you run?
1254
01:22:43,375 --> 01:22:45,423
You finish this, Teddy, you finish it!
1255
01:22:47,546 --> 01:22:49,088
Come on!
1256
01:22:49,089 --> 01:22:50,762
TUSSHA R: Scared, Ted?
1257
01:23:01,059 --> 01:23:03,019
Ah, shit.
1258
01:23:03,020 --> 01:23:04,693
Come on, Ted!
1259
01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:10,282
Come on, Teddy!
1260
01:24:25,727 --> 01:24:28,401
So, uh, this team's
from Melbourne, huh?
1261
01:24:28,402 --> 01:24:32,277
Yes. The Abbotsford Anglers.
1262
01:24:36,280 --> 01:24:38,624
The best D-grade team
I've ever sponsored.
1263
01:24:46,498 --> 01:24:52,722
ISinging eye yi yippee yippee ai.
1264
01:24:52,796 --> 01:24:56,299
ISinging Abbotsford Anglers
Abbotsford Anglers.
1265
01:24:56,300 --> 01:24:59,725
ISinging eye yi yippee yippee ai. I.
1266
01:25:02,598 --> 01:25:05,477
IBollywood.
1267
01:25:17,362 --> 01:25:20,206
II was walking down the street.
1268
01:25:21,575 --> 01:25:24,374
IConcentrating on trucking right.
1269
01:25:25,787 --> 01:25:28,757
II heard a dark voice beside of me.
1270
01:25:29,916 --> 01:25:33,919
IAnd I looked around
in a state of fright.
1271
01:25:33,920 --> 01:25:36,255
II saw four faces, one mad.
1272
01:25:36,256 --> 01:25:38,466
IA brother from the gutter.
1273
01:25:38,467 --> 01:25:40,561
IThey looked me up and down a bit.
1274
01:25:40,636 --> 01:25:42,434
IAnd turned to each other.
1275
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:48,601
ALL: II don't like cricket.
1276
01:25:48,602 --> 01:25:50,570
IOh, no!
1277
01:25:50,646 --> 01:25:52,273
II love it!
1278
01:25:52,356 --> 01:25:53,898
'Poh! Yeah!
1279
01:25:53,899 --> 01:25:56,402
II don't like cricket.
1280
01:25:56,485 --> 01:25:58,778
IOh, no!
1281
01:25:58,779 --> 01:26:00,321
II love it!
1282
01:26:00,322 --> 01:26:01,906
'Poh! Yeah!
1283
01:26:01,907 --> 01:26:04,659
II don't like cricket.
1284
01:26:04,660 --> 01:26:06,535
IOh, no!
1285
01:26:06,536 --> 01:26:08,079
II love it.
1286
01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:09,830
'Poh! Yeah!
1287
01:26:09,831 --> 01:26:12,041
II don't like cricket.
1288
01:26:12,042 --> 01:26:14,168
IOh, no!
1289
01:26:14,169 --> 01:26:15,716
II love it! I.
1290
01:26:25,847 --> 01:26:28,307
Hey, hey, hey-
1291
01:26:28,308 --> 01:26:31,812
This is Bollywood.
The hero gets the girl.
1292
01:26:35,440 --> 01:26:37,863
MAN: Save your legs, Teddy!
1293
01:27:56,772 --> 01:29:31,821
Encoded by PRiSTiNE.
Support us by visiting P2PDL.com
96000