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[BAND PLAYING GRAND MARCH]
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00:00:05,454 --> 00:00:08,256
MAN [OVER P.A.]: Ladies and
gentlemen, today caps the last day
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00:00:08,257 --> 00:00:09,790
of a full week of festivities
4
00:00:09,791 --> 00:00:12,760
in honor of the victorious
Apollo 15 astronauts.
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00:00:27,243 --> 00:00:28,543
[ELEGANT MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:00:28,544 --> 00:00:30,077
After a ticker tape parade
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00:00:30,078 --> 00:00:31,846
through New York'sfinancial district,
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00:00:31,847 --> 00:00:34,215
Major Nelson, Major Healeyand Captain Larkin,
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00:00:34,216 --> 00:00:36,336
will be honoredat a White House luncheon.
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00:00:39,288 --> 00:00:44,325
And finally, one last pressconference at Cocoa Beach.
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00:00:44,326 --> 00:00:47,795
Major Nelson, do you feel you
may be in line for a promotion?
12
00:00:47,796 --> 00:00:49,397
Uh, well,
I couldn't comment on that.
13
00:00:49,398 --> 00:00:51,032
Major Healey,
do you have any idea...?
14
00:00:51,033 --> 00:00:52,033
Major Healey...
15
00:00:52,034 --> 00:00:53,268
One at a time, please.
16
00:00:53,269 --> 00:00:55,637
Did you anticipate
any problems in the recovery?
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00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:58,806
I think I can speak for
Captain Larkin and Major Nelson
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00:00:58,807 --> 00:01:00,775
when I say we had complete
faith in the carrier.
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00:01:00,776 --> 00:01:02,644
Uh, Major Nelson,
we've heard quite a bit
20
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:05,012
about Major Healey
and Captain Larkin's home life,
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00:01:05,013 --> 00:01:06,747
but not a word about yours.
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00:01:06,748 --> 00:01:08,650
How about it, major,
is there a girl?
23
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:11,836
Uh, I'm sorry,
but as the Air Force would say,
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00:01:11,837 --> 00:01:13,605
my private life
comes under the category
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00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:16,108
of restricted information.
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Restricted to me. Next.
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You know, the guy
that gets an exclusive
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00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,879
on Nelson's private life
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00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,032
is a cinch
for the Pulitzer Prize.
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[BELL RINGS]
31
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[?]
32
00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:33,658
Hello.
Acme Plumbing Company.
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I'm here to inspect your pipes.
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[LAUGHS] Oh.
35
00:01:37,296 --> 00:01:39,164
Well, there is nothing
wrong with my pipes.
36
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:41,098
Well, you see,
there is a new city ordinance.
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Says, "Every house
more than 10 years old
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has to have
the pipes inspected."
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00:01:45,737 --> 00:01:49,174
My master did not say anything
about an inspection.
40
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:51,509
Oh, your master didn't.
41
00:01:51,510 --> 00:01:53,644
Well, I wouldn't
worry about that.
42
00:01:53,645 --> 00:01:55,246
I mean,
everything that I have to see,
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00:01:55,247 --> 00:01:57,115
I can see in 10 masters.
44
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Uh, minutes. Excuse me.
45
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[?]
46
00:02:06,358 --> 00:02:08,075
[?]
47
00:02:54,740 --> 00:02:56,274
[?]
48
00:03:01,063 --> 00:03:02,330
[?]
49
00:03:32,061 --> 00:03:34,129
I did not know there were pipes
in the fireplace.
50
00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:37,565
Uh... Look, uh, lady. Y-you
take care of your business,
51
00:03:37,566 --> 00:03:40,268
and, uh, I'll take care of mine.
52
00:03:40,269 --> 00:03:41,602
Are you finished yet?
53
00:03:41,603 --> 00:03:42,837
Uh, yes, actually.
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00:03:42,838 --> 00:03:44,539
As a matter of fact, I am.
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00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:49,744
Your pipes are in good shape.
You have very good pipes.
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00:03:49,745 --> 00:03:51,312
As a matter of fact,
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00:03:51,313 --> 00:03:53,414
um, uh,
58
00:03:53,415 --> 00:03:55,449
w-w-what is your business?
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00:03:55,450 --> 00:03:58,119
Well, I am a genie.
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00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,655
That's very funny. Strike that.
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00:04:00,656 --> 00:04:05,193
Well, lady, so long.
I have to be going now, and, uh,
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00:04:05,194 --> 00:04:07,228
happy genie-ing.
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Strike that too.
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00:04:09,565 --> 00:04:10,565
[?]
65
00:04:10,566 --> 00:04:11,833
Well.
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00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:12,967
Dear.
67
00:04:12,968 --> 00:04:14,869
He's finally gone,
and I can prepare
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00:04:14,870 --> 00:04:17,371
for my master's homecoming
in peace.
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00:04:17,372 --> 00:04:19,174
Now, let me see.
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00:04:22,344 --> 00:04:23,377
Ah!
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00:04:23,378 --> 00:04:24,378
[GIGGLES]
72
00:04:24,379 --> 00:04:25,914
Oh, that is a nice touch.
73
00:04:25,915 --> 00:04:28,083
I have always liked balloons.
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00:04:33,105 --> 00:04:35,773
Major Healey. Master.
Hi.
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00:04:35,774 --> 00:04:37,341
Welcome home.
Thanks.
76
00:04:37,342 --> 00:04:40,712
[BUZZING]
77
00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:42,113
I planned a little party,
master.
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00:04:42,114 --> 00:04:43,114
Are you not pleased?
79
00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:44,782
It's just wonderful, yeah.
80
00:04:44,783 --> 00:04:46,550
Tony, Tony, they're here.
They're here.
81
00:04:46,551 --> 00:04:48,552
[REPORTERS CLAMORING]
82
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Doors! Doors!
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[REPORTERS CLAMORING]
84
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The curtains, the curtains!
85
00:04:58,130 --> 00:04:59,363
Master?
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00:04:59,364 --> 00:05:01,465
Do you not wish your friends
to come to your party?
87
00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:02,533
Oh...
What?
88
00:05:02,534 --> 00:05:05,937
Roger, would you get out? Roger.
89
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:07,805
They're here. They're here.
Yeah, I know.
90
00:05:07,806 --> 00:05:09,507
Master, friends make a party.
91
00:05:09,508 --> 00:05:11,175
Yeah, I know,
but those are reporters.
92
00:05:11,176 --> 00:05:12,877
They're not friends.
They're report...
93
00:05:12,878 --> 00:05:14,311
[BALLOON POPS]
94
00:05:14,312 --> 00:05:16,213
Would you get rid
of these balloons, please?
95
00:05:16,214 --> 00:05:17,414
Yes, master.
96
00:05:19,251 --> 00:05:20,768
Listen, if we're
gonna have a party,
97
00:05:20,769 --> 00:05:23,187
how about blinking in some
dancing girls and champagne?
98
00:05:23,188 --> 00:05:24,388
No, Roger, would you please?
99
00:05:24,389 --> 00:05:25,990
All right.
Forget the dancing girls,
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00:05:25,991 --> 00:05:28,259
they don't have to dance,
and I'll get the champagne.
101
00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:29,460
Party, yeah.
102
00:05:29,461 --> 00:05:31,262
See, Jeannie,
the problem is we've been...
103
00:05:31,263 --> 00:05:33,430
We've been partied
and paraded and banqueted,
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00:05:33,431 --> 00:05:36,100
and we're just exhausted,
that's all.
105
00:05:36,101 --> 00:05:39,336
Oh, my poor master.
I am sorry, I did not realize.
106
00:05:39,337 --> 00:05:41,572
Yeah, and those reporters
have been pestering me
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00:05:41,573 --> 00:05:43,141
for details about
my personal life.
108
00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:44,241
[GASPS]
109
00:05:44,242 --> 00:05:46,243
Oh, master, I will take care
of them instantly.
110
00:05:46,244 --> 00:05:48,980
No. No, no.
Don't do anything like that.
111
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:50,347
It would just make them curious,
112
00:05:50,348 --> 00:05:52,717
and we certainly wouldn't
want them curious, would we.
113
00:05:52,718 --> 00:05:53,785
Oh, no, master.
114
00:05:53,786 --> 00:05:55,720
Because...
Because in your private life,
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00:05:55,721 --> 00:05:56,721
you have a genie.
116
00:05:56,722 --> 00:05:57,889
Yeah.
Me.
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00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:00,692
And they simply
would not understand about that.
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00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,460
You're learning.
You are learning.
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00:06:03,461 --> 00:06:05,697
And besides,
I've really gotta get some rest.
120
00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:07,198
Major Nelson.
121
00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:10,034
Here, you open this. I'll...
I'll get the door.
122
00:06:10,035 --> 00:06:12,804
No. No, I'll get it.
MAN: Major Nelson. Come on out.
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00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:15,657
MAN 2: Major Nelson,
just answer a question.
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00:06:15,658 --> 00:06:17,875
Major Nelson.
Major Nelson.
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00:06:17,876 --> 00:06:20,144
Do you mow your own lawn?
Fellas.
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00:06:20,145 --> 00:06:21,512
Fellas, please, please.
127
00:06:21,513 --> 00:06:23,873
I have no further comments
about anything.
128
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:28,186
What is this thing? Hey.
129
00:06:28,187 --> 00:06:31,422
Hey, talk about privacy.
This is really something.
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00:06:32,457 --> 00:06:34,492
Jeannie,
that is not what I meant.
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00:06:34,493 --> 00:06:37,295
What he means, Jeannie,
is a man's home is his castle.
132
00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:41,232
Yeah.
Oh! Now I understand.
133
00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:42,500
[GIGGLES]
134
00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:45,002
You know,
I guess he really means it.
135
00:06:45,003 --> 00:06:46,370
I guess he does.
136
00:06:46,371 --> 00:06:48,039
Wally.
137
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,691
Do you see what I see?
138
00:06:49,692 --> 00:06:50,925
[?]
139
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:55,429
That depends on what you see.
140
00:06:55,430 --> 00:06:56,764
Forget it.
141
00:06:56,765 --> 00:06:58,399
I don't really see anything.
142
00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,099
What did you just do?
143
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,684
What did you do?
What did you blink?
144
00:07:00,685 --> 00:07:01,685
[LAUGHS]
145
00:07:01,686 --> 00:07:04,166
When did you put in the moat?
146
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:06,257
The moat?
147
00:07:07,275 --> 00:07:08,492
[DOORBELL DINGS]
148
00:07:10,479 --> 00:07:12,980
I'm sorry to bother you again,
but I left some tools
149
00:07:12,981 --> 00:07:14,415
Shh!
When I was here... What?
150
00:07:14,416 --> 00:07:16,551
Please, my master is asleep.
Oh.
151
00:07:16,552 --> 00:07:19,119
I'll be very quiet.
I just wanna pick up my tools.
152
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,121
Well, I have not seen any tools.
153
00:07:21,122 --> 00:07:22,990
Huh.
I am sure that I left them here.
154
00:07:22,991 --> 00:07:24,358
I'll tell you what.
Shh!
155
00:07:24,359 --> 00:07:26,794
[WHISPERING] Why don't you
go look in the kitchen?
156
00:07:26,795 --> 00:07:29,597
Around the drainboard,
and places like that,
157
00:07:29,598 --> 00:07:32,166
and I'll just look around in here.
Very well.
158
00:07:32,167 --> 00:07:35,135
You must not be a good plumber
if you keep losing your tools.
159
00:07:35,136 --> 00:07:38,739
Yeah, well, perhaps.
I'm not a very good plumber, no.
160
00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:41,876
But I'm a heck
of a good reporter.
161
00:07:41,877 --> 00:07:43,694
[?]
162
00:08:55,517 --> 00:08:56,517
Mm.
163
00:09:02,023 --> 00:09:04,057
Maybe...
164
00:09:04,058 --> 00:09:06,527
I can get a shot of the major
while he's still asleep.
165
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,953
No, do not go in there.
166
00:09:17,839 --> 00:09:20,258
Ow! Ow.
Shh!
167
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:22,409
Please.
168
00:09:22,410 --> 00:09:24,111
I'm trying to sleep, please.
169
00:09:24,112 --> 00:09:25,980
[YAWNS]
170
00:09:25,981 --> 00:09:27,831
You see what you have done?
You've woke him up.
171
00:09:27,832 --> 00:09:29,067
"Woke him up"?
172
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,819
I think I broke my toe!
173
00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:33,587
Jeannie.
174
00:09:38,109 --> 00:09:41,111
Oh!
Oh, master, are you all right?
175
00:09:41,112 --> 00:09:43,648
I've heard of houses
being burglar-proof,
176
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:45,115
but this is ridiculous.
177
00:09:45,116 --> 00:09:47,351
Who is he?
Oh, he is just a plumber.
178
00:09:47,352 --> 00:09:48,920
He's not a plumber,
he's a reporter.
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00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,905
Stop him. Stop him! Stop him!
[SCREAMS]
180
00:09:50,906 --> 00:09:54,324
Ow! Ow-w-w-w.
181
00:09:54,325 --> 00:09:57,594
A reporter.
You lied to me.
182
00:09:57,595 --> 00:09:59,797
I think that we're even.
183
00:09:59,798 --> 00:10:01,899
This is Farnum.
What's this all about anyhow?
184
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:06,603
You. Who have a house
full of booby traps.
185
00:10:06,604 --> 00:10:10,241
You ask me
what this is all about?
186
00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:11,541
Shall I...?
No, no. no.
187
00:10:11,542 --> 00:10:13,310
You go out and make some coffee.
188
00:10:13,311 --> 00:10:14,929
With your hands.
189
00:10:16,281 --> 00:10:19,734
Major. You have got
some explaining to do.
190
00:10:19,735 --> 00:10:22,303
Mr. Farnum,
I believe at my press conference
191
00:10:22,304 --> 00:10:24,205
I told you all reporters
that my private life
192
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,340
is my own personal business.
193
00:10:26,341 --> 00:10:30,211
Forget it, major.
You are public property.
194
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,814
And when,
on top of being an astronaut,
195
00:10:32,815 --> 00:10:36,117
you have got a house
that is like Sing Sing South,
196
00:10:36,118 --> 00:10:38,686
and a girlfriend
who thinks she's a genie,
197
00:10:38,687 --> 00:10:41,122
and goes around the house
calling you "master,"
198
00:10:41,123 --> 00:10:43,224
well, I'd say that was news.
199
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:46,094
If you think it's news,
you just go ahead and print it.
200
00:10:46,095 --> 00:10:48,096
Nobody in their right mind
is gonna believe it.
201
00:10:48,097 --> 00:10:49,997
On the other hand, now,
202
00:10:49,998 --> 00:10:52,533
if you want to be sensible
about this,
203
00:10:52,534 --> 00:10:55,269
maybe we can come
to some sort of an arrangement.
204
00:10:55,270 --> 00:10:56,571
Like what?
205
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:58,205
Well, like you tell me
your whole story.
206
00:10:58,206 --> 00:11:00,775
Your hopes, your dreams,
your bank balance,
207
00:11:00,776 --> 00:11:03,461
about this genie lady,
I'll write the story,
208
00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:05,346
win the Pulitzer Prize,
sell it to the movies,
209
00:11:05,347 --> 00:11:06,748
and you'll be off the hook.
210
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,599
Yeah, that's what you think.
211
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,501
No dice, Farnum.
Take your best shot.
212
00:11:10,502 --> 00:11:12,186
Hm. Well.
213
00:11:12,187 --> 00:11:13,854
I think that you're
gonna be surprised
214
00:11:13,855 --> 00:11:16,324
at how good my best shot is.
215
00:11:16,325 --> 00:11:19,427
Well. Your word against mine.
Yes, my word...
216
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:20,461
[CHUCKLES]
217
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:22,763
And a roll of film
and a spool of tape.
218
00:11:22,764 --> 00:11:24,765
So long, major.
See you on the front page.
219
00:11:24,766 --> 00:11:26,467
Huh?
Coffee is ready, master.
220
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,169
Now, wait a minute.
221
00:11:29,187 --> 00:11:30,721
Are you gonna take
these bars away,
222
00:11:30,722 --> 00:11:33,724
or do I have to add a section
on how you kidnap reporters too?
223
00:11:34,743 --> 00:11:36,410
Go ahead, Jeannie.
Take the bars away.
224
00:11:36,411 --> 00:11:38,252
I think he's got us.
Yes, master.
225
00:11:41,183 --> 00:11:43,618
Where'd that go?
How'd they do that?
226
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,486
How has he got us?
227
00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:47,388
Oh, he's got a spool of tape
and a roll of film.
228
00:11:47,389 --> 00:11:51,159
JEANNIE: Oh, that is what he
was putting in his tool chest.
229
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:52,893
In his tool chest? Stop him.
230
00:11:52,894 --> 00:11:54,574
Stop him!
Yes, master.
231
00:11:55,897 --> 00:11:57,632
Now, look, Nelson.
232
00:11:58,433 --> 00:12:00,168
The tool chest.
233
00:12:00,169 --> 00:12:01,636
Come on, Jeannie.
The tool chest.
234
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:02,570
Oh, yes, master.
235
00:12:03,772 --> 00:12:05,306
[GIGGLES]
236
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:07,542
Yes. Hand it over, Farnum.
237
00:12:07,543 --> 00:12:09,477
Oh, no, you don't.
Oh, no, you don't.
238
00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,745
This is my personal property.
Okay, Jeannie.
239
00:12:11,746 --> 00:12:13,414
Oh, with pleasure, master.
240
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:20,054
[GIGGLING]
241
00:12:25,626 --> 00:12:28,128
Okay.
I'll get you for this, Nelson.
242
00:12:28,129 --> 00:12:31,131
Nobody ever gets the best
of Charlie Farnum.
243
00:12:32,701 --> 00:12:33,834
[?]
244
00:12:34,903 --> 00:12:36,170
Well, then.
245
00:12:36,171 --> 00:12:38,139
How does it feel to be
two of America's heroes?
246
00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:40,007
Well, I've always been
loyal, brave, true,
247
00:12:40,008 --> 00:12:41,608
kind to small children
and animals...
248
00:12:41,609 --> 00:12:43,293
We were just doing our job, sir.
249
00:12:43,294 --> 00:12:44,912
WOMAN:
Tony!
250
00:12:44,913 --> 00:12:50,450
Darling, after all these years,
I've finally found you again.
251
00:12:50,451 --> 00:12:54,188
Yeah, hi. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
252
00:12:54,189 --> 00:12:55,790
Who are you?
253
00:12:55,791 --> 00:12:58,625
Tony, don't you recognize
your own wife and children?
254
00:12:58,626 --> 00:13:00,728
[?]
255
00:13:05,383 --> 00:13:07,534
Major Nelson,
what's the meaning of this?
256
00:13:07,535 --> 00:13:09,203
I don't know, sir.
I-I-I don't know.
257
00:13:09,204 --> 00:13:11,805
I've never seen these people.
Would you let go, lady?
258
00:13:11,806 --> 00:13:14,308
I don't blame you
for not recognizing the kids.
259
00:13:14,309 --> 00:13:16,944
They was only little tykes
when he ran out on us.
260
00:13:16,945 --> 00:13:18,812
But me, Tony, your own wife.
261
00:13:18,813 --> 00:13:21,282
Have I changed that much?
262
00:13:21,283 --> 00:13:22,950
[KIDS BABBLING]
263
00:13:22,951 --> 00:13:24,118
I... I'm not your daddy, son.
264
00:13:24,119 --> 00:13:25,986
I mean, I'm not your daddy,
period.
265
00:13:25,987 --> 00:13:27,288
Madam. Madam.
266
00:13:27,289 --> 00:13:28,555
Oh, madam, please.
267
00:13:28,556 --> 00:13:30,424
I'm afraid you've made
a terrible mistake.
268
00:13:30,425 --> 00:13:33,327
You see, we have complete
records on Major Nelson,
269
00:13:33,328 --> 00:13:35,162
and he's never been married.
270
00:13:35,163 --> 00:13:37,197
No, sir,
you wouldn't know about it.
271
00:13:37,198 --> 00:13:39,800
He kept it a secret
the whole time we was together.
272
00:13:39,801 --> 00:13:42,202
You see, his folks
was against it.
273
00:13:42,203 --> 00:13:44,138
Oh, but here's
a marriage license.
274
00:13:44,139 --> 00:13:45,839
Marriage?
License?
275
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,775
Let me see.
Yeah, right there.
276
00:13:47,776 --> 00:13:50,611
TONY: Hey, wait a minute!
WOMAN: His marriage license.
277
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,679
Let's all board
the astronaut engine.
278
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,198
[GASPS]
279
00:13:54,199 --> 00:13:56,917
Would you...? Sir, that signature
is obviously a forgery.
280
00:13:56,918 --> 00:13:59,370
My signature is public record.
It's a forgery.
281
00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:01,555
Obviously a forgery.
Well, then there's this:
282
00:14:01,556 --> 00:14:03,708
Taken 10 years ago.
283
00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:05,276
Before little Joey was born.
284
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,444
Sir, my picture's been
in all the papers for years.
285
00:14:07,445 --> 00:14:08,779
That's been doctored.
286
00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:10,847
You certainly haven't
changed much in 10 years.
287
00:14:10,848 --> 00:14:13,651
[SHOUTS]
Would you mind explaining?
288
00:14:14,819 --> 00:14:16,920
[SOBBING]
289
00:14:16,921 --> 00:14:19,557
Tony, how can you
say things like that.
290
00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:21,792
When I treasured
this picture for 10 years
291
00:14:21,793 --> 00:14:24,761
not knowing where you were
or if you were alive.
292
00:14:24,762 --> 00:14:26,129
And then when I read
in the paper
293
00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:28,299
that you had become
an astronaut, well...
294
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:29,667
[SOBBING]
295
00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:32,469
Oh, now, madam, please.
Please. Don't cry, please.
296
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:35,539
All this is going to be
thoroughly straightened out.
297
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:38,459
And I promise you a very fair...
Please, sir.
298
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,010
A fair hearing.
299
00:14:40,011 --> 00:14:42,213
And until then,
you'll just have to wait.
300
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:44,014
But we've waited so long.
301
00:14:44,015 --> 00:14:45,616
And besides,
we don't have any money.
302
00:14:45,617 --> 00:14:48,285
We spent it all on bus fare.
[CRASHING]
303
00:14:48,286 --> 00:14:49,286
Where will we stay?
304
00:14:49,287 --> 00:14:51,121
TONY:
Hey, wait a minute!
305
00:14:51,122 --> 00:14:54,475
What'll become of the children?
306
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:57,011
Why don't we put them
at Tony's house? He has room.
307
00:14:57,012 --> 00:14:59,113
Roger!
That would be a good solution.
308
00:14:59,114 --> 00:15:00,781
Nobody's staying at my house.
309
00:15:00,782 --> 00:15:03,884
Children, did you hear that?
We're gonna live with Daddy.
310
00:15:03,885 --> 00:15:06,103
Hey, hey.
311
00:15:06,104 --> 00:15:08,489
Hey, hey, take it easy!
All right, major. Hold it.
312
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,026
All right, the two kids
can sleep upstairs,
313
00:15:12,027 --> 00:15:13,460
and you can sleep in there,
Mrs...
314
00:15:13,461 --> 00:15:15,997
WOMAN: "Nelson," naturally.
Naturally?
315
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,481
[?]
316
00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:18,816
Hey, hey, hey.
317
00:15:21,185 --> 00:15:23,788
TONY: Roger, would
you do something?
318
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,422
Children.
I don't have it.
319
00:15:25,423 --> 00:15:27,324
Children.
320
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,178
Throw it over here.
I got it, Tony.
321
00:15:31,179 --> 00:15:32,679
Oh, stop.
322
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,448
All right, take it easy.
Down, down.
323
00:15:34,449 --> 00:15:35,449
Interesting bottle.
324
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:37,852
Huh?
325
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:38,886
Oh, shh!
326
00:15:41,890 --> 00:15:43,357
You all go up
and mind your mother.
327
00:15:43,358 --> 00:15:44,358
Go upstairs.
Go on.
328
00:15:44,359 --> 00:15:46,660
Come on, children.
Enjoyed the game.
329
00:15:46,661 --> 00:15:50,998
You remember.
I always was an obedient wife.
330
00:15:50,999 --> 00:15:53,567
Yeah. Upstairs, or...
All right.
331
00:15:53,568 --> 00:15:54,801
She is obedient.
332
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,389
Jeannie, are you all right?
She looks a little dizzy to me.
333
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:01,458
From being thrown around
in that bottle. Yeah.
334
00:16:01,459 --> 00:16:04,427
You have a wife
and two children.
335
00:16:04,428 --> 00:16:06,897
You don't believe that, do you?
336
00:16:06,898 --> 00:16:08,431
That's a fraud.
337
00:16:08,432 --> 00:16:10,534
Farnum must be trying
to set me up or blackmail me.
338
00:16:10,535 --> 00:16:13,470
I mean, just because
she has a marriage license...
339
00:16:13,471 --> 00:16:15,673
Roger, that's not necessary.
A marriage license.
340
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:16,807
Look, Jeannie.
Oh!
341
00:16:16,808 --> 00:16:18,809
It's a put up job, really.
It's not...
342
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:21,344
I need your help. I really do.
You've gotta help him.
343
00:16:21,345 --> 00:16:23,681
I mean, the family picture
with Tony and his kids, I...
344
00:16:23,682 --> 00:16:26,083
Oh, Major Healey. A picture?
345
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:28,185
A picture?
Why don't you just go home? Go.
346
00:16:28,186 --> 00:16:29,953
Oh, you want to be alone
with your wife.
347
00:16:29,954 --> 00:16:31,855
You haven't seen her
in 10 years.
348
00:16:31,856 --> 00:16:33,157
[PHONE RINGS, DOORBELL DINGS]
349
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,559
Roger, why don't you...?
I'll get it.
350
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:36,894
Stay here and don't move.
351
00:16:37,829 --> 00:16:39,062
Stay there.
352
00:16:39,063 --> 00:16:40,531
[DOORBELL DINGS]
353
00:16:44,268 --> 00:16:45,902
Extra, extra. Read all about it.
354
00:16:45,903 --> 00:16:47,571
Astronaut deserts
wife and children.
355
00:16:47,572 --> 00:16:49,039
Read all about it.
356
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,641
I, uh... I rather expected you.
357
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,343
Don't try and get this picture,
major,
358
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:54,678
because I have got the negatives
safely stashed away
359
00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:57,180
where you and your magician
of a girlfriend can't get at it.
360
00:16:57,181 --> 00:16:59,583
You know, you really amaze me,
going to all this trouble.
361
00:16:59,584 --> 00:17:01,352
Setting me up with a wife
and two children
362
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:03,354
just so you can get the story
of my private life.
363
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,921
You know us newsmen, major.
364
00:17:04,922 --> 00:17:07,691
If we can't get the real story,
we create one.
365
00:17:07,692 --> 00:17:08,926
Then you admit it.
Sure.
366
00:17:08,927 --> 00:17:10,394
The only question is,
367
00:17:10,395 --> 00:17:11,278
what do you do?
368
00:17:11,279 --> 00:17:12,846
Do I get the real story,
369
00:17:12,847 --> 00:17:15,199
or do I spread this one
all over the front pages?
370
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,767
Does that convince you, Jeannie?
371
00:17:19,003 --> 00:17:20,571
Jeannie? Where's Jeannie?
372
00:17:20,572 --> 00:17:21,972
Gone.
Gone?
373
00:17:21,973 --> 00:17:23,840
Yeah, she said she didn't
wanna stay around
374
00:17:23,841 --> 00:17:24,908
and be the other woman.
375
00:17:24,909 --> 00:17:26,210
[GROANS]
376
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:27,678
Don't worry, Tony.
377
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:28,712
This time I believe you.
378
00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:34,117
Oh, excuse me, major.
Hello, sir.
379
00:17:34,118 --> 00:17:35,619
Have you found out anything yet?
380
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:38,088
Well, now,
these things take time, major.
381
00:17:38,089 --> 00:17:40,558
We gotta check back 10 years
into her story as well as yours.
382
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:43,160
How about those kids?
They're monsters. You don't...
383
00:17:43,161 --> 00:17:45,563
Hello, darling.
There they are.
384
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,631
Good morning, Dr. Bellows.
Good morning.
385
00:17:47,632 --> 00:17:50,267
It'd be nice if you took
the children and me to lunch.
386
00:17:50,268 --> 00:17:51,468
Lunch?
Yes.
387
00:17:51,469 --> 00:17:53,437
Good morn...
Good morning, Dr. Bellows.
388
00:17:53,438 --> 00:17:54,438
Good morning.
389
00:17:54,439 --> 00:17:56,139
That sure is
a great-looking uniform.
390
00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:57,741
Well, thank you, son.
391
00:17:57,742 --> 00:17:59,443
Good morning, Uncle Alfred.
392
00:17:59,444 --> 00:18:01,144
You sure do look good
this morning.
393
00:18:01,145 --> 00:18:02,512
Well, thank you.
394
00:18:02,513 --> 00:18:04,715
Monsters?
Why, they're charming.
395
00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:06,951
And this one's
the spitting image of you.
396
00:18:06,952 --> 00:18:10,020
Now, boys. On the way out,
be sure you stop into my office.
397
00:18:10,021 --> 00:18:12,856
I have some bubblegum for you.
Hey, that's great.
398
00:18:12,857 --> 00:18:14,959
Yeah, great.
No, Dr. Bellows, please.
399
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,093
Don't go, Dr. Bellows.
400
00:18:16,094 --> 00:18:18,128
[?]
401
00:18:18,129 --> 00:18:20,798
Hey, hey, hey. Take it easy.
402
00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:21,865
Wait a minute.
403
00:18:21,866 --> 00:18:24,068
Hey, kids, wait a minute,
will you?
404
00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:26,604
That's my stuff. Hey.
405
00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:29,272
Easy, easy.
406
00:18:29,707 --> 00:18:31,275
[?]
407
00:18:45,056 --> 00:18:47,491
Oh, God.
408
00:18:50,695 --> 00:18:52,596
[WHISTLES]
409
00:18:52,597 --> 00:18:55,098
Hi, Ton.
410
00:18:55,099 --> 00:18:58,352
Say, I was wondering.
Could you lend me 10 dollars?
411
00:18:58,353 --> 00:19:00,737
Tony?
412
00:19:00,738 --> 00:19:02,739
What are you doing on the desk?
413
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:04,441
I'm sleeping on my desk.
414
00:19:04,442 --> 00:19:06,209
Why are you sleeping
on your desk?
415
00:19:06,210 --> 00:19:08,144
Because somebody's
sleeping in my house.
416
00:19:08,145 --> 00:19:09,680
Oh, I'm sorry.
417
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:13,116
What's the matter with me,
you can come stay at my place.
418
00:19:13,117 --> 00:19:16,820
Could I?
Could you? What's a friend for?
419
00:19:16,821 --> 00:19:19,122
Thanks, Roge.
There's only one thing.
420
00:19:19,123 --> 00:19:21,358
Make sure there's
no porch light on.
421
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:23,593
Okay. I can sleep up
in your bed in the den.
422
00:19:23,594 --> 00:19:27,230
And one other thing. Make sure
it's after 2:00 in the morning.
423
00:19:27,231 --> 00:19:28,865
After 2:00 in the morning?
424
00:19:28,866 --> 00:19:30,567
Oh, and very important.
425
00:19:30,568 --> 00:19:32,035
If there's no key
under the mat...
426
00:19:32,036 --> 00:19:34,070
TONY: Forget it.
...forget it.
427
00:19:38,459 --> 00:19:39,739
[CLEARS THROAT]
428
00:19:41,329 --> 00:19:43,597
Jeannie, where have you been?
429
00:19:43,598 --> 00:19:46,050
In Reno.
Reno, Nevada?
430
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:49,419
No. Reno, Persia.
What?
431
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:52,355
That is where genies go to get
divorced from their masters.
432
00:19:52,356 --> 00:19:54,357
Sign here.
What are you talking...?
433
00:19:54,358 --> 00:19:56,926
And here. And here, and here.
Wait a minute.
434
00:19:56,927 --> 00:19:59,697
I told you, this whole thing
was a put up job, Jeannie.
435
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:00,964
When I accepted you
as my master,
436
00:20:00,965 --> 00:20:04,101
I had no idea you had
a wife and two children.
437
00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:06,103
That is grounds
for legal separation.
438
00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:07,571
Sign, please.
439
00:20:07,572 --> 00:20:09,639
And initial the writer.
The writer?
440
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,543
FARNUM:
Extra, extra. Read all about it.
441
00:20:13,778 --> 00:20:15,345
It's Farnum. Get out, Jeannie.
442
00:20:15,346 --> 00:20:18,815
Get in here, get in here.
I am sorry, former master.
443
00:20:18,816 --> 00:20:21,051
Section four, paragraph B.
444
00:20:21,052 --> 00:20:22,752
Get in here, will you?
Just get in here.
445
00:20:22,753 --> 00:20:25,122
"When a genie
is formally separated
446
00:20:25,123 --> 00:20:26,923
"her former master no longer
has the right
447
00:20:26,924 --> 00:20:28,758
to give her orders."
448
00:20:28,759 --> 00:20:31,095
Until I sign that paper,
I'm still your master.
449
00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:33,897
Now, get in there,
and I'm not kidding you. Go on.
450
00:20:33,898 --> 00:20:37,301
All right.
But this is the last time.
451
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:38,368
Oh, boy.
452
00:20:41,856 --> 00:20:43,923
All right,
that's your last chance, major.
453
00:20:43,924 --> 00:20:45,826
The late edition
is going to bed in two hours.
454
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,829
Now, it is up to you whether
it carries a front page story
455
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:51,197
of Tony Nelson, wife-deserter,
or not.
456
00:20:51,198 --> 00:20:52,632
Okay, Farnum.
457
00:20:52,633 --> 00:20:54,133
I guess you got me.
458
00:20:54,134 --> 00:20:57,303
Well.
Finally you're being sensible.
459
00:20:57,304 --> 00:20:58,705
I mean, we can start right now.
460
00:20:58,706 --> 00:21:00,306
I want you to promise
that you'll tell
461
00:21:00,307 --> 00:21:01,608
Dr. Bellows that you
cooked up
462
00:21:01,609 --> 00:21:03,860
the whole idea about the marriage.
Sure. Listen.
463
00:21:03,861 --> 00:21:06,580
All I wanna do
is get the real story.
464
00:21:06,581 --> 00:21:09,016
I was beginning to miss
the wife and kids anyway.
465
00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:11,352
You mean,
those are your wife and kids?
466
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:14,471
I always say the family that
works together, stays together.
467
00:21:14,472 --> 00:21:15,773
[LAUGHS]
468
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,073
[CHUCKLES]
469
00:21:17,074 --> 00:21:18,241
That's right.
470
00:21:18,242 --> 00:21:19,843
What the heck is that?
471
00:21:19,844 --> 00:21:22,579
That, my friend, is my genie.
472
00:21:34,025 --> 00:21:35,341
[?]
473
00:21:37,111 --> 00:21:40,981
There's a little
tiny lady in there.
474
00:21:40,982 --> 00:21:42,649
Yeah. That's right.
475
00:21:43,334 --> 00:21:44,418
[SCREAMS]
476
00:21:44,419 --> 00:21:45,652
[SCREAMS]
477
00:21:46,421 --> 00:21:47,654
Yeah, yeah, okay.
478
00:21:47,655 --> 00:21:49,723
Oh, master, I'm so sorry
I did not believe you.
479
00:21:49,724 --> 00:21:51,891
How can you forgive me?
Okay. All right.
480
00:21:51,892 --> 00:21:53,059
Just do everything I say.
481
00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:55,829
But do you know
what you're doing?
482
00:21:55,830 --> 00:21:58,665
I know exactly what I'm doing.
Would you like a picture?
483
00:21:58,666 --> 00:22:00,200
What?
A picture.
484
00:22:00,201 --> 00:22:01,835
A picture. Yes, why not.
485
00:22:01,836 --> 00:22:04,003
I mean,
I'll take a little shot there.
486
00:22:04,004 --> 00:22:06,707
You don't mind.
Why don't you get close together
487
00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:08,908
and smile
and look right this way?
488
00:22:08,909 --> 00:22:11,845
Look at me.
That's it, now hold... Hold it.
489
00:22:11,846 --> 00:22:14,381
There.
Good, good. Now blink us home.
490
00:22:14,382 --> 00:22:16,283
Him too?
Yes, him too.
491
00:22:16,284 --> 00:22:17,684
All right.
492
00:22:20,188 --> 00:22:21,254
[SCREAMS]
493
00:22:21,255 --> 00:22:23,223
It's okay. It's okay.
494
00:22:23,224 --> 00:22:24,724
Jeannie's been around
a long time.
495
00:22:24,725 --> 00:22:26,893
She does a little magic here,
a little magic there.
496
00:22:26,894 --> 00:22:29,963
Charlie. Charlie,
he's handing you a line.
497
00:22:29,964 --> 00:22:31,831
Can't you see it?
498
00:22:31,832 --> 00:22:33,533
Well, would you do one...?
499
00:22:33,534 --> 00:22:35,902
Get her to do one of, you know,
of those tricks.
500
00:22:35,903 --> 00:22:37,237
Yeah.
For my wife.
501
00:22:37,238 --> 00:22:38,338
Well, I don't know.
502
00:22:38,339 --> 00:22:40,107
Jeannie, would you like
to do a trick?
503
00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:41,174
Well, what should I do?
504
00:22:41,175 --> 00:22:43,042
I don't know,
think of something.
505
00:22:43,043 --> 00:22:45,878
I know. I know.
All right.
506
00:22:47,348 --> 00:22:48,482
[SCREAMING]
507
00:22:48,483 --> 00:22:50,066
Do something for the kids,
will you?
508
00:22:50,067 --> 00:22:51,347
Oh, yes, master.
509
00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:56,774
Balloons are always
such a nice touch.
510
00:22:58,025 --> 00:22:59,242
[ALL BABBLING]
511
00:22:59,243 --> 00:23:03,246
Wait, wait, wait. Will you wait?
Will you just wait, please?
512
00:23:03,247 --> 00:23:06,417
Now, you see, the wife
and the kids are mine, colonel.
513
00:23:06,418 --> 00:23:07,785
But I had to do that
514
00:23:07,786 --> 00:23:09,586
in order to get
Major Nelson's real story,
515
00:23:09,587 --> 00:23:11,755
and it is a dilly.
516
00:23:11,756 --> 00:23:17,344
He has a girlfriend, who...
She can make herself this small.
517
00:23:17,345 --> 00:23:18,262
Really?
518
00:23:18,263 --> 00:23:20,764
[GIGGLING]
519
00:23:20,765 --> 00:23:23,600
Yeah, she hides in pencil boxes.
520
00:23:23,601 --> 00:23:26,270
And she can move people around,
521
00:23:26,271 --> 00:23:28,572
you see,
from one place to another.
522
00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:32,409
Give me the air police.
523
00:23:32,410 --> 00:23:35,078
I knew you'd feel that way
when I told you the story,
524
00:23:35,079 --> 00:23:36,212
so I brought pictures.
525
00:23:36,213 --> 00:23:38,248
I mean, real... Many pictures.
Pictures?
526
00:23:38,249 --> 00:23:39,583
Yeah.
Really?
527
00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:42,319
I'll call you right back.
528
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,588
A little underdeveloped.
What happened?
529
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:49,843
Hides in a pencil box? Really.
530
00:23:49,844 --> 00:23:51,044
[GIGGLING]
531
00:23:55,583 --> 00:23:57,316
[?]
532
00:23:57,366 --> 00:24:01,916
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