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[?]
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"NASA announced
that women applicants
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"will be interviewed today
for the new space program
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"that will send an American
man-and-woman team of astronauts
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as the first couple
on the moon."
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Why did you not tell me
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that you were going
to the moon with a woman?
8
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Slipped my mind.
9
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Well, I hope you have
a very enjoyable dinner
10
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with your lady astronaut.
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Uh, do you really wanna know
why I didn't tell you?
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No.
No?
13
00:00:27,976 --> 00:00:29,810
Mm-mm. What is it?
14
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Oh, well, I'm trying to get
out of the project.
15
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Are you really?
Yeah.
16
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Why?
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Well, who wants to go
to the moon
18
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with a female Louis Pasteur?
19
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Oh, I remember
Professor Pasteur.
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He had a darling beard.
Yeah.
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00:00:42,158 --> 00:00:45,460
Have you ever seen any of these
lady scientists? Forget it.
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Would you like me to help you
get out of the project, master?
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00:00:47,963 --> 00:00:50,265
No, no. I'll handle it
myself, thank you. Thank you.
24
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Have a good day.
25
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:55,637
Oh.
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00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:59,224
Oh, sister, you surprised me.
27
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,510
You surprise me
even more, darling.
28
00:01:01,511 --> 00:01:04,729
Falling for that line
about a female Louis Pasteur.
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00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:06,431
What do you mean?
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Sweetie pie,
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the day of the
horn-rimmed glasses,
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long tweed skirt
and flat shoes is over.
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Nowadays, they wear minismocks.
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[LAUGHS] Oh.
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In a laboratory?
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00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:23,265
Well, that's why so many
labs have blown up.
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The men scientists keep
dropping their test tubes.
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You mean to say my master
will be living on the moon
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with a beautiful girl?
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Mm-hm.
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Well, what will I do?
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Leave everything
to your big sister.
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I'll make sure your master
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doesn't get off that
launch pad with another woman.
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Would you do that for me?
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Darling, have I ever
let you down?
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No.
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00:01:55,731 --> 00:01:58,366
[?]
49
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:52,403
[?]
50
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It occurs to me, gentlemen,
that your anxieties
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over this mission
are predicated on the fact
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that the applicants
will turn out to be
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00:02:59,394 --> 00:03:02,147
dull, drab,
intellectual females.
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00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:04,115
Well, sir, based
on my past experience...
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00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:06,250
Well, now, major,
let me assure you
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00:03:06,251 --> 00:03:09,387
that the woman-scientist
image has changed.
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The day of the horn-rimmed
glasses,
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the long tweed skirt,
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and the flat shoes is over.
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00:03:14,526 --> 00:03:16,695
Uh, honestly, sir,
based on my experience,
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00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,262
I really can't agree
with you there.
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00:03:18,263 --> 00:03:20,565
Oh, uh, send in the first
applicant, will you, please?
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00:03:20,566 --> 00:03:22,967
Dr. Bellows, I think that
this person ought to be trained.
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00:03:22,968 --> 00:03:24,836
You'll see. In the same
procedures we are.
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00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:26,104
Doctor Bellows?
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00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:28,573
Yes.
I'm Professor Henrietta Swanson.
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00:03:28,574 --> 00:03:30,575
Oh, how do you do, professor?
How do you do?
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00:03:30,576 --> 00:03:31,910
Uh, this is Major Nelson.
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00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:33,211
Major Nelson.
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00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:34,496
How do you do?
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00:03:34,497 --> 00:03:35,880
And Major Healey.
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00:03:35,881 --> 00:03:37,081
How do you do, Major Healey?
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00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:41,385
I see by your application
that you're teaching, uh,
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00:03:41,386 --> 00:03:43,888
nuclear physics
at Carver College.
75
00:03:43,889 --> 00:03:44,923
Yes, that's right.
76
00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:45,957
Good, may I take your coat?
77
00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:47,325
Hey, I'll take it.
I'll take it.
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00:03:47,326 --> 00:03:48,326
Oh.
79
00:03:50,646 --> 00:03:53,431
Would you mind telling me
the address of Carver College?
80
00:03:53,432 --> 00:03:55,316
Well, you see, on my lunch hour,
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00:03:55,317 --> 00:03:57,518
I moonlight
as a cocktail waitress.
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00:03:58,354 --> 00:03:59,554
Why don't I take the professor
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00:03:59,555 --> 00:04:02,440
to the lunar mock-up and
show her the base operation.
84
00:04:02,441 --> 00:04:04,743
Uh, let's not be
premature, major.
85
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,112
Uh, I'm afraid I have
to get back to the restaurant.
86
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:08,863
Well, I haven't eaten yet.
I'll drive you.
87
00:04:08,864 --> 00:04:11,799
Major Healey, remember we have
another applicant to screen.
88
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,701
Thank you very much,
Professor Swanson.
89
00:04:13,702 --> 00:04:15,169
Thank you.
We'll let you know.
90
00:04:15,170 --> 00:04:17,671
Professor Swanson, is that...?
We'll let you know.
91
00:04:17,672 --> 00:04:19,173
Thank you.
We'll let you know.
92
00:04:19,174 --> 00:04:21,642
Thank you very much.
Don't get cold.
93
00:04:23,245 --> 00:04:25,163
Nuclear physicist, eh?
94
00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:27,382
I don't think we need
to look any further, sir.
95
00:04:27,383 --> 00:04:29,150
I think that this
woman probably needs...
96
00:04:29,151 --> 00:04:32,453
Now, let me remind you
that we need two women, major.
97
00:04:32,454 --> 00:04:34,088
One for the backup team.
98
00:04:34,089 --> 00:04:36,609
I wonder what yours
is going to look like?
99
00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:40,779
Excuse me.
100
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,782
I'm Dr. Rita Walters.
You must be Dr. Bellows.
101
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,717
Yes, how do you do, doctor?
102
00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:47,319
Oh, excuse me,
this is Major Nelson.
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00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,553
How do you do,
Dr. Walters?
104
00:04:48,554 --> 00:04:50,555
And, uh, Major Healey.
Hello.
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00:04:50,556 --> 00:04:53,024
Well, you certainly
come well-qualified.
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00:04:53,025 --> 00:04:56,761
Uh, B.A., B.S.,
M.A., PhD.
107
00:04:56,762 --> 00:04:59,030
And I see by records
that you spent
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00:04:59,031 --> 00:05:01,299
a great deal of time
in the Middle East.
109
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,600
That's right, doctor.
110
00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:04,636
I was very intrigued
by your hobbies.
111
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,254
Oh, really?
What are they?
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00:05:06,255 --> 00:05:07,372
[CHUCKLES] Oh...
113
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,474
carpet-making and...
114
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:10,542
flying.
115
00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:15,145
Now, before we make
the final pairings
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00:05:15,146 --> 00:05:16,280
of teams in this project,
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00:05:16,281 --> 00:05:17,982
we'll conduct a series of tests.
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00:05:17,983 --> 00:05:20,150
Since the man and woman
who'll land on the moon
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00:05:20,151 --> 00:05:22,553
will be totally isolated
from the rest of the universe,
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00:05:22,554 --> 00:05:25,323
it is extremely important
that they be compatible.
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00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:26,808
I don't think
there's any question
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00:05:26,809 --> 00:05:28,977
about the professor and I
being compatible, sir.
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00:05:28,978 --> 00:05:30,812
She moonlights
as a cocktail waitress
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00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:33,373
and, uh, I moonlight
in cocktail lounges.
125
00:05:36,168 --> 00:05:39,170
The computer will make the
proper decision, Major Healey.
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00:05:39,171 --> 00:05:41,539
I'm counting on it.
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00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:42,640
We all are.
128
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,344
Now, then, these are
very simple questions,
129
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:48,813
and I'll ask that you
make your response
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00:05:48,814 --> 00:05:50,298
on the cards in front of you.
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00:05:50,299 --> 00:05:51,916
First question.
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00:05:51,917 --> 00:05:56,587
If, uh, you were furnishing a
house, what style would you use?
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00:05:56,588 --> 00:05:58,355
Early American, contemporary,
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00:05:58,356 --> 00:06:01,059
Danish modern
or French provincial.
135
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:06,080
[HUMMING
"LA MARSEILLAISE"]
136
00:06:06,081 --> 00:06:07,815
BELLOWS:
Major Healey.
137
00:06:10,569 --> 00:06:13,053
Have you answered that question?
138
00:06:13,054 --> 00:06:14,722
Good. Second question.
139
00:06:14,723 --> 00:06:17,242
Now, what is your favorite dog?
140
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:20,078
German shepherd, French poodle,
141
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:23,764
English sheepdog
or Mexican Chihuahua?
142
00:06:23,765 --> 00:06:26,367
[HUMMING
"LA CUCARACHA"]
143
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,425
No humming.
144
00:06:36,728 --> 00:06:39,481
Oh, ladies and gentlemen, the
results are now coming through.
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00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:42,283
Oh, boy, are we going to have
a lot of fun on the moon.
146
00:06:42,284 --> 00:06:44,251
Uh, ask the machine
what time we leave, huh?
147
00:06:44,252 --> 00:06:46,537
Now, uh, as for the type
of furnishing,
148
00:06:46,538 --> 00:06:49,657
Professor Swanson,
you answered early American.
149
00:06:49,658 --> 00:06:53,260
And Major Healey,
you answered French provincial.
150
00:06:53,261 --> 00:06:56,080
Wait a minute. I didn't hum
French provincial.
151
00:06:56,081 --> 00:06:58,449
I love early American.
I am an early American.
152
00:06:58,450 --> 00:07:01,119
Tell them, don't I have an old
spinning wheel in the parlor?
153
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,254
From these cards,
it would appear that.
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00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:05,323
Major Nelson
and Professor Swanson
155
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:06,875
are the more compatible team.
156
00:07:06,876 --> 00:07:08,543
The final selection will be made
157
00:07:08,544 --> 00:07:10,211
after the physical fitness test.
158
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,979
A physical fitness test?
159
00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:14,448
Woman applicant who demonstrates
the best coordination
160
00:07:14,449 --> 00:07:15,917
and physical fitness will be on
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00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:18,636
your number one team,
Major Nelson.
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00:07:18,637 --> 00:07:21,556
And the other will be on the
backup team with Major Healey.
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00:07:21,557 --> 00:07:24,142
Dr. Bellows, that's unfair.
Oh?
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00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:25,275
Well, you see, I was
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00:07:25,276 --> 00:07:27,628
the national women's
gymnastic champion in college.
166
00:07:27,629 --> 00:07:30,031
And what about you,
Dr. Walters?
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00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:34,719
Hm? Oh, I was a 97-pound
weakling, darling.
168
00:07:37,823 --> 00:07:38,823
Now, then, ladies,
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00:07:38,824 --> 00:07:41,392
our first test
will be chin-ups.
170
00:07:41,393 --> 00:07:45,062
Professor Swanson,
you first, please.
171
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:08,452
Would you like to try now,
Dr. Walters?
172
00:08:33,778 --> 00:08:37,214
Very good. And now we'll move
over to the basketball court.
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00:08:37,215 --> 00:08:40,768
Yeah, we're going to be playing
a lot of basketball on the moon.
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00:08:40,769 --> 00:08:43,370
A lot of basketball.
Yeah.
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00:08:46,441 --> 00:08:49,243
Well, we'll now test
your coordination, ladies
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00:08:49,244 --> 00:08:51,645
by each of you attempting
to sink some baskets.
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00:08:51,646 --> 00:08:54,415
Professor Swanson, you first.
178
00:09:02,624 --> 00:09:04,391
Very good.
179
00:09:18,390 --> 00:09:21,426
Thank you.
Very good.
180
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:23,193
And now, Dr. Walters,
if you please.
181
00:09:23,194 --> 00:09:25,463
Well, I've never done
this before,
182
00:09:25,464 --> 00:09:28,466
but it looks like it's a gas.
183
00:09:45,701 --> 00:09:48,102
Excellent, Dr. Walters.
Excellent.
184
00:09:48,103 --> 00:09:50,738
And now, uh, if we'll just go...
185
00:09:50,739 --> 00:09:52,639
Oh.
186
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,408
Excuse me.
187
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,851
Well, congratulations,
Dr. Walters,
188
00:10:03,852 --> 00:10:06,020
you've just been chosen
to train with Major Nelson
189
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,855
in our simulated lunar house.
190
00:10:07,856 --> 00:10:08,690
Well...
191
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:09,924
That is if the Olympic team
192
00:10:09,925 --> 00:10:12,259
doesn't steal you away from us.
193
00:10:12,260 --> 00:10:16,564
Oh, believe me, no one's going
to steal me from Major Nelson.
194
00:10:16,565 --> 00:10:19,033
I have some
marvelous plans for us.
195
00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:21,435
Say, how did you do that anyway?
I gave it a try myself...
196
00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:24,205
Oh, excuse me, Major Nelson.
This is your new teammate.
197
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,574
Oh, welcome aboard,
Dr. Walters.
198
00:10:26,575 --> 00:10:29,327
Well, at least you get a nice
consolation prize, professor.
199
00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:30,394
Oh, what's that, major?
200
00:10:30,395 --> 00:10:31,395
Me.
201
00:10:31,396 --> 00:10:32,964
[CHUCKLES]
202
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,649
Well, gentlemen, we have some
additional work in my office.
203
00:10:35,650 --> 00:10:38,219
Ladies, we'll see you
tomorrow at 8:00.
204
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:41,622
Yes, uh, tomorrow
at 8:00, professor.
205
00:10:48,613 --> 00:10:50,714
Sister?
206
00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:55,119
Oh, well, look who's here.
207
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,271
You look worried, pet.
208
00:10:57,272 --> 00:10:58,506
I am.
209
00:10:58,507 --> 00:11:00,908
Did you not say you'd
keep women off the launch pad
210
00:11:00,909 --> 00:11:03,361
with my master?
That's right.
211
00:11:03,362 --> 00:11:06,581
They have just selected you
to go on this project with him.
212
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:10,301
Oh, yes, but I'm not another
woman. I'm your sister.
213
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:12,803
But you will go to the moon
with my master.
214
00:11:12,804 --> 00:11:14,938
Oh, don't be
such a square, darling.
215
00:11:14,939 --> 00:11:17,375
The moon is a dull lump of clay.
216
00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:19,343
Oh, you mean
you will not go there?
217
00:11:19,344 --> 00:11:21,479
I wouldn't be caught dead there.
218
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,248
The really swinging
planet is Venus.
219
00:11:31,422 --> 00:11:32,990
[DOORBELL RINGS]
220
00:11:34,726 --> 00:11:36,961
Yes? Oh, hi, come on in.
221
00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:38,229
Good evening, major.
222
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,763
Hi, Tony.
Good evening.
223
00:11:39,764 --> 00:11:40,764
What can I do for you?
224
00:11:40,765 --> 00:11:43,151
We're just on our way to dinner.
225
00:11:43,152 --> 00:11:44,635
We wanted to ask you to join us.
226
00:11:44,636 --> 00:11:46,404
Didn't we, major?
227
00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:48,239
Oh, I... Really, I couldn't.
228
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,107
Tell him you insist
he join us for dinner.
229
00:11:50,108 --> 00:11:54,879
She wants me to tell you
I insist you join us for dinner.
230
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,797
That's the most gracious
invitation I've ever had
231
00:11:56,798 --> 00:11:58,416
but really I'm sorry, I can't.
232
00:11:58,417 --> 00:11:59,500
You can't?
233
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:02,370
Oh. Oh, that's great.
It's part of the program.
234
00:12:02,371 --> 00:12:05,089
We want to see if we're
compatible for dinner.
235
00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:06,841
Quick thinking.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
236
00:12:06,842 --> 00:12:08,226
I'll get it.
So you're going out?
237
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,727
Yeah?
Major Nelson.
238
00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:11,395
Yes?
They told me at NASA
239
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:13,330
I might find
Professor Swanson here.
240
00:12:13,331 --> 00:12:15,666
Professor Swan...
Oh, yes. Professor?
241
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:17,401
Yes?
Sugar.
242
00:12:17,402 --> 00:12:20,738
Turk. What are you
doing here?
243
00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:23,024
I stopped by to see who
you're going to the moon with.
244
00:12:23,025 --> 00:12:26,244
Not me. Him.
245
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:29,130
Oh, well, I'm just part
of the runner-up team.
246
00:12:29,131 --> 00:12:30,898
We'll probably never
get off the ground.
247
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,569
Major Healey, Major Nelson,
this is my fianc�, Turk Parker.
248
00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:38,289
Turk Parker.
The All-Pro linebacker?
249
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:40,357
That's right.
250
00:12:40,358 --> 00:12:41,158
Well, how do you do?
251
00:12:41,159 --> 00:12:43,878
[BONES CRUNCHING]
252
00:12:43,879 --> 00:12:46,631
Uh, Major Healey and I were
just on our way to dinner.
253
00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:50,518
Yeah, well, I have a good idea.
Why don't you join us?
254
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,652
I have a better idea.
255
00:12:52,653 --> 00:12:55,789
Why don't you join us?
256
00:12:57,192 --> 00:12:58,592
That's a better idea.
257
00:13:00,328 --> 00:13:03,196
Uh, you know, you could tell
Turk all about the project.
258
00:13:03,197 --> 00:13:05,065
Well, look, it's a little late
and I forgot
259
00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:07,635
I had another dinner engagement.
I think I'll just go home...
260
00:13:07,636 --> 00:13:10,871
I have one question
I would like to answer now.
261
00:13:10,872 --> 00:13:11,955
Well, what's that?
262
00:13:11,956 --> 00:13:14,525
What happens when you
and my girl get to the moon?
263
00:13:14,526 --> 00:13:16,694
Oh, we, uh, plan to read a lot.
264
00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:19,696
I'm going to the library
to pick up some books.
265
00:13:19,697 --> 00:13:21,314
What about dinner, Roger?
Bye.
266
00:13:21,315 --> 00:13:23,083
I'm sorry, he gets like this.
267
00:13:23,084 --> 00:13:24,585
Good night, major.
268
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,554
It's been a pleasure
meeting you, Turk.
269
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:27,555
Major Nelson?
270
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:30,290
Thanks. It's been
a pleasure.
271
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,896
Ooh. Jeannie?
272
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,180
Jeannie.
Oh, master?
273
00:13:36,181 --> 00:13:38,082
I've got something
to tell you, young lady.
274
00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:39,217
Dr. Walters is my sister.
275
00:13:42,053 --> 00:13:43,287
Dr. Walters
is your sister?
276
00:13:43,288 --> 00:13:44,655
Yes.
Yeah.
277
00:13:44,656 --> 00:13:45,857
Well, you knew about it?
278
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:47,791
You asked her to do this?
Oh, no, master.
279
00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:49,260
Well, it won't work.
She can't go.
280
00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:51,428
The whole point of this project
is to put two people
281
00:13:51,429 --> 00:13:53,231
on the moon together.
See what'll happen.
282
00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:54,832
And she's not a people,
she's a genie.
283
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:56,500
No, master.
You start blinking.
284
00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:58,002
You get her out of this
right away.
285
00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,370
No, master.
286
00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:01,205
What do you mean, no?
Well, I cannot.
287
00:14:01,206 --> 00:14:02,306
Why not?
288
00:14:02,307 --> 00:14:04,375
Well, it does not work
on genies.
289
00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:06,643
Well, something better work
or she's gonna be with me
290
00:14:06,644 --> 00:14:08,512
in that lunar house
for three whole months.
291
00:14:08,513 --> 00:14:09,947
Lunar house?
Yeah...
292
00:14:09,948 --> 00:14:11,815
Well, it's a room
where they lock us up.
293
00:14:11,816 --> 00:14:14,485
And she cannot get out?
That's right.
294
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:17,054
Well, that is the answer.
What? What's the answer?
295
00:14:17,055 --> 00:14:19,056
Genies are afraid of being
bottled up.
296
00:14:19,057 --> 00:14:21,158
The moment she discovers
that she cannot get out,
297
00:14:21,159 --> 00:14:22,860
she will be terrified.
298
00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:25,112
She'll panic and they'll
wash her out of the project.
299
00:14:25,113 --> 00:14:27,197
I certainly hope so, master
300
00:14:27,198 --> 00:14:30,902
or I am afraid you are going
to be swinging on Venus.
301
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:33,020
What?
302
00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:37,507
This morning, we'll have you
303
00:14:37,508 --> 00:14:39,961
familiarize yourselves
with the lunar house.
304
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,595
Zulu, Able, Foxtrot.
305
00:14:41,596 --> 00:14:43,864
This is, uh,
the lunar mock-up.
306
00:14:43,865 --> 00:14:47,585
I'll be transmitting
on 122.8 VHF.
307
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:50,254
In order to orient yourselves,
I think it'd be a good idea
308
00:14:50,255 --> 00:14:52,022
to, uh, test out your equipment.
309
00:14:52,023 --> 00:14:56,660
Major Nelson, see that the panel
board and the electronic devices
310
00:14:56,661 --> 00:14:58,462
are all functioning properly.
311
00:14:58,463 --> 00:14:59,764
Oh, any questions?
312
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:01,933
Uh, yes. Dr. Bellows?
313
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,150
Uh, yes, major?
314
00:15:03,151 --> 00:15:04,118
In case of panic,
315
00:15:04,119 --> 00:15:05,770
do you want meto abort the mission?
316
00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:07,921
Well, you do have
a panic button on the panel.
317
00:15:07,922 --> 00:15:10,608
But I'm sure that it won't
be necessary to use it.
318
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:13,611
Oh, of course not, sir.I was just checking.
319
00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:16,513
Oh, is there really
a panic button?
320
00:15:16,514 --> 00:15:17,914
Uh, don't worry, uh,
321
00:15:17,915 --> 00:15:19,883
we'll never have to use it.
322
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,553
Kind of snug in here, isn't it?
323
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:24,821
Yes, isn't it heaven?
324
00:15:24,822 --> 00:15:25,956
Get off.
325
00:15:25,957 --> 00:15:27,591
You know, a person could get
326
00:15:27,592 --> 00:15:29,693
claustrophobia in a place
like this.
327
00:15:29,694 --> 00:15:31,695
Just think, after three months,
328
00:15:31,696 --> 00:15:34,831
when the project is over,
we'll spend three months here.
329
00:15:34,832 --> 00:15:39,169
Three whole months.
Yes, it's truly heaven.
330
00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:40,337
Fight it, fight it.
331
00:15:40,338 --> 00:15:42,640
Oh, fight what, darling?
332
00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:44,742
Well, the...
333
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:47,110
The panic... The panic that
you're feeling now
334
00:15:47,111 --> 00:15:48,712
from being all bottled up,
I'm sure...
335
00:15:48,713 --> 00:15:50,046
I'm not feeling panicky.
336
00:15:50,047 --> 00:15:51,882
Oh, yes, you are.
I can see it in your eyes.
337
00:15:51,883 --> 00:15:53,550
Oh, oh. Major Baby.
338
00:15:53,551 --> 00:15:55,569
Now, listen, just fight it,
will you?
339
00:15:55,570 --> 00:15:57,655
I... I... I know it's
awfully hard but it's...
340
00:15:57,656 --> 00:15:59,523
You're losing your cool,
darling.
341
00:15:59,524 --> 00:16:00,691
I'm losing my cool?
342
00:16:00,692 --> 00:16:02,626
You're the one that's losing
your cool.
343
00:16:02,627 --> 00:16:03,961
Prof. Swanson,
I want you to notice
344
00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:06,096
calm is the most
important ingredient.
345
00:16:06,097 --> 00:16:09,533
Yes, I can see that, doctor.
346
00:16:09,534 --> 00:16:12,753
Major Nelson, what's
the matter with you?
347
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,972
I... I... Wait a minute.
Dr. Bellows?
348
00:16:14,973 --> 00:16:18,259
Dr. Bellows, I've gota hysterical woman on my hands.
349
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:20,011
Isn't he darling?
350
00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:22,730
Major, do you want me to scrub
the operation for today?
351
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:24,982
No. No, no, no.Don't scrub the mission.
352
00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:26,283
Everything's gonna be fine.
353
00:16:26,284 --> 00:16:27,768
Carry on.
354
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:31,555
Lie down, darling, and relax.
You're losing your cool.
355
00:16:31,556 --> 00:16:34,225
No, I'm not losing my cool.
356
00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:37,244
You just close those baby blues
and go to sleep.
357
00:16:37,245 --> 00:16:39,497
Now, now, now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
358
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,399
I... I... I think we
ought to, uh...
359
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,502
We ought to take a look
at some of our equipment.
360
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,803
? Lullaby ?
361
00:16:46,804 --> 00:16:48,039
? Dee-dee-dee ?
362
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,040
Now, wait a minute.
363
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:51,242
[WALTERS LAUGHING]
364
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:57,064
TONY: You're sure you're not
getting a closed-in feeling?
365
00:16:57,065 --> 00:16:59,032
WALTERS:
All I feel is togetherness.
366
00:16:59,033 --> 00:17:01,602
TONY:
Ah!
367
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,637
We're gonna test
your breaking point, doctor.
368
00:17:03,638 --> 00:17:04,839
Woo, groovy.
369
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,807
Yeah.
370
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:10,043
Okay. Up you go.
371
00:17:11,579 --> 00:17:16,150
Ah! Ah!
372
00:17:16,151 --> 00:17:18,452
Major Nelson, where are you?
373
00:17:19,488 --> 00:17:22,156
He's up there.
374
00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:24,458
Dr. Walters,
what's he doing up there?
375
00:17:24,459 --> 00:17:27,043
What are you doing up there,
Major Baby?
376
00:17:27,044 --> 00:17:28,979
Tell him I'm testing
the weightlessness.
377
00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:31,715
Oh, he's testing weightlessness.
378
00:17:31,716 --> 00:17:34,785
It's too early for that.
Get him down immediately.
379
00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:42,927
Dr. Walters, what in the world
is happening?
380
00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:46,563
I was just tryingto get Major...
381
00:17:46,564 --> 00:17:48,999
Oh. Oh!
382
00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:54,939
Go to the panel board and press
the vacuum pressure button.
383
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:58,492
Aha. Yea, daddy.
384
00:17:58,493 --> 00:18:01,178
TONY:
I don't think this is right.
385
00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:09,653
Hello, Dr. Bellows.
386
00:18:11,506 --> 00:18:12,756
She didn't fall apart.
387
00:18:12,757 --> 00:18:14,858
I fell apart.
388
00:18:14,859 --> 00:18:16,010
I cannot understand it.
389
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,928
I was sure she
would be terrified
390
00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:19,563
of being alone
in a closed place.
391
00:18:19,564 --> 00:18:22,199
No, she wasn't
the least bit terrified.
392
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,433
Alone?
Mm.
393
00:18:23,434 --> 00:18:26,203
Oh, she was never alone
for a second.
394
00:18:26,204 --> 00:18:28,806
I was her security blanket.
395
00:18:28,807 --> 00:18:30,474
You gotta get her
bottled up and out
396
00:18:30,475 --> 00:18:32,142
before she ruins
the whole project.
397
00:18:32,143 --> 00:18:33,711
But if she suddenly disappears.
398
00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:36,113
How are you going to
explain it to NASA?
399
00:18:36,114 --> 00:18:38,616
Well, I won't have to
explain it to NASA.
400
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:41,819
Because she is not
suddenly gonna disappear.
401
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:44,788
Oh, listen...
402
00:18:46,874 --> 00:18:49,109
You sent for me, major?
403
00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:51,445
Oh, yes, Dr. Walters.
404
00:18:51,446 --> 00:18:53,547
I, uh, thought since we're
both in the project
405
00:18:53,548 --> 00:18:55,949
we might as well spend as
much time as possible together.
406
00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:57,218
Groovy.
407
00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,070
Yes. Um, physical fitness
is a key factor.
408
00:19:00,071 --> 00:19:02,173
We've got to keep our bodies
in good shape.
409
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:03,774
Mm-hm. Yes.
410
00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:07,428
Well, one of our bodies
is in good shape already.
411
00:19:07,429 --> 00:19:10,163
Yes.
412
00:19:10,164 --> 00:19:12,466
Now, the first thing we ought to
do is start practicing
413
00:19:12,467 --> 00:19:14,602
on the lunar landing chute.
414
00:19:14,603 --> 00:19:16,970
What is the lunar landing chute?
415
00:19:16,971 --> 00:19:18,639
Oh, well, it's this right here.
416
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,274
You see, when we land
on the moon
417
00:19:20,275 --> 00:19:22,943
we'll have to get to the surface
through a tube similar to this.
418
00:19:22,944 --> 00:19:25,446
Well, well, what will they
think of next?
419
00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:28,415
Yeah. Do you want to
try it on for size?
420
00:19:28,416 --> 00:19:30,351
Uh, no. No, it's not my bag.
421
00:19:30,352 --> 00:19:31,918
You're not afraid, are you?
422
00:19:31,919 --> 00:19:33,387
No, no, no.
423
00:19:33,388 --> 00:19:36,123
Well, go ahead, try it on.
I'll be right behind you.
424
00:19:36,124 --> 00:19:38,325
Oh, you'll be in
the tube with me.
425
00:19:38,326 --> 00:19:39,426
Sure, sure.
426
00:19:39,427 --> 00:19:43,063
Oh. Well, that's
a whole other scene.
427
00:19:43,064 --> 00:19:45,399
Go ahead.
428
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,000
Oh, look.
429
00:20:09,023 --> 00:20:10,023
Major Nelson.
430
00:20:10,024 --> 00:20:11,024
Ah!
431
00:20:11,025 --> 00:20:14,662
Hello, Dr. Bellows,
how are you?
432
00:20:14,663 --> 00:20:18,716
May I ask what you're doing
with that trash can?
433
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,000
I'm throwing it out, sir.
434
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:21,802
Well, I know that, but why?
435
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:24,204
Well, it's classified trash,
and it should be thrown out
436
00:20:24,205 --> 00:20:26,306
by a classified man who's
classified to throw out
437
00:20:26,307 --> 00:20:31,095
the classified trash.
Do I make myself clear?
438
00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:33,430
All of our janitors
have security clearances.
439
00:20:33,431 --> 00:20:35,065
They haven't come on
duty yet, sir.
440
00:20:35,066 --> 00:20:36,366
They don't come
on until 6:00.
441
00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:39,036
And I thought I'd just
tidy up the gymnasium.
442
00:20:39,037 --> 00:20:42,323
You show me a clean gymnasium,
I'll show you a clean astronaut.
443
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,159
Well, Major Nelson,
where's Dr. Walters?
444
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,861
Dr. Walters.
Oh, Dr. Walters...?
445
00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:48,862
Sorry I'm late to...
446
00:20:48,863 --> 00:20:50,397
Ah!
447
00:20:50,398 --> 00:20:52,065
Dr. Walters.
Here's Dr. Walters.
448
00:20:52,066 --> 00:20:55,235
I want you both to report
to the lunar house at 1600.
449
00:20:55,236 --> 00:20:57,504
Yes. Right, sir.
We'll be there at 1600.
450
00:20:57,505 --> 00:20:59,573
Right.
451
00:20:59,574 --> 00:21:03,977
Jeannie, hey,
you made it just in time.
452
00:21:03,978 --> 00:21:06,046
You... Wh...? Now, you are
Jeannie, aren't you?
453
00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:07,548
I mean, I really can't tell...
454
00:21:07,549 --> 00:21:09,800
Yes, you can.
455
00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:13,053
Yeah, you're my Jeannie.
456
00:21:17,475 --> 00:21:20,227
We'll have another go withlunar house familiarization.
457
00:21:20,228 --> 00:21:23,080
And this time, Major Nelson,
try to exercise
458
00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:24,898
a little more self-control.
459
00:21:24,899 --> 00:21:27,017
I think everything will be
just fine this time, sir.
460
00:21:27,018 --> 00:21:31,254
Oh, you do not
have to worry about him.
461
00:21:31,255 --> 00:21:33,023
Listen, I want you
to wait a few minutes
462
00:21:33,024 --> 00:21:34,358
and then really crack up.
463
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:35,726
Oh, must I, master?
464
00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:37,594
Jeannie, it's the only way
we're gonna
465
00:21:37,595 --> 00:21:39,095
get Dr. Walters
out of the project.
466
00:21:39,096 --> 00:21:41,932
But now that I am here
I am thinking how wonderful
467
00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:44,034
it would be to be alone
with you on the moon.
468
00:21:44,035 --> 00:21:46,537
Jeannie, the whole idea
of the project
469
00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:48,772
is to put a man and a woman
on the moon together,
470
00:21:48,773 --> 00:21:50,507
now, you're not a woman.
471
00:21:53,211 --> 00:21:55,229
That's beside the point.
472
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:58,148
What is going on, Major Nelson?
We keep losing our picture.
473
00:21:58,149 --> 00:22:01,001
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
474
00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:07,391
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
475
00:22:08,543 --> 00:22:10,110
Please, master.
476
00:22:10,111 --> 00:22:13,197
I will keep house for you on the
moon just like we do on Earth.
477
00:22:13,198 --> 00:22:15,214
We've just lost the audio too.
478
00:22:16,517 --> 00:22:19,552
Would you go over there
and sit down?
479
00:22:19,553 --> 00:22:21,822
Now, Dr. Bellows,
I think I've found the problem.
480
00:22:28,012 --> 00:22:30,047
Oh, master.
481
00:22:30,048 --> 00:22:31,765
Jeannie!
482
00:22:31,766 --> 00:22:34,568
Oh, master, what are you doing?
483
00:22:34,569 --> 00:22:36,102
Pull the switch!
What switch?
484
00:22:36,103 --> 00:22:38,472
The red one.
Which? Oh.
485
00:22:38,473 --> 00:22:43,394
Yes, master. Do not worry.
Do not worry.
486
00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:45,946
Major Nelson, what's going on?
What's happening?
487
00:22:45,947 --> 00:22:47,497
Jeannie! Ah!
488
00:22:52,637 --> 00:22:54,470
Thank you, Dr. Walters.
489
00:22:54,471 --> 00:22:58,241
Uh, Dr. Bellows, I thinkwe've remedied the situation.
490
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,326
Incredible.
491
00:23:00,327 --> 00:23:04,230
It just shows you never know
how things are gonna work out.
492
00:23:04,231 --> 00:23:06,099
We're gonna have to find
a replacement.
493
00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:07,701
Gee, that's too bad.
494
00:23:07,702 --> 00:23:09,703
I hope you weren't too
disappointed, sir.
495
00:23:09,704 --> 00:23:12,005
I am sure you will be able to
find someone to replace me.
496
00:23:12,006 --> 00:23:14,507
Replace you?
Oh, my dear Dr. Walters,
497
00:23:14,508 --> 00:23:16,509
you're going to the moon.
498
00:23:16,510 --> 00:23:19,012
I'm replacing Major Nelson.
499
00:23:23,401 --> 00:23:25,602
It's bad enough they washed me
out of the moon project.
500
00:23:25,603 --> 00:23:28,471
But they could have washed me
out of the whole NASA program.
501
00:23:28,472 --> 00:23:30,974
I told you I was sorry, master.
502
00:23:30,975 --> 00:23:32,075
Yeah.
503
00:23:32,076 --> 00:23:33,743
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
504
00:23:33,744 --> 00:23:36,079
Tony.
Yeah?
505
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,314
Good news.
506
00:23:37,315 --> 00:23:39,082
They're giving me
a court-martial.
507
00:23:39,083 --> 00:23:40,750
No, no, the whole operation.
508
00:23:40,751 --> 00:23:42,685
First Couple to the Moon
has been scrubbed.
509
00:23:42,686 --> 00:23:44,754
No kidding?
No kidding.
510
00:23:44,755 --> 00:23:46,556
Well, did they give
an explanation for it?
511
00:23:46,557 --> 00:23:48,525
No, Dr. Bellows says
something about
512
00:23:48,526 --> 00:23:50,394
the American man and woman
513
00:23:50,395 --> 00:23:52,996
has deep-seated
male-female hostilities.
514
00:23:52,997 --> 00:23:55,432
They have overly
complicated libido problems
515
00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:57,334
and they can't resolve
the Oedipus complex.
516
00:23:57,335 --> 00:24:00,037
And the linebacker punched
Dr. Bellows in the nose.
517
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:01,939
You're kidding.
518
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:04,324
But I'll tell you what,
listen, the captain barge
519
00:24:04,325 --> 00:24:05,976
is throwing a party
tonight and he has
520
00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:07,444
his two twin sisters there?
521
00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:09,229
Wants me to bring you.
You think...?
522
00:24:09,230 --> 00:24:11,698
I'll get my hat.
Yeah.
523
00:24:11,699 --> 00:24:15,569
Tell you what, you think
we should bring two cars?
524
00:24:15,570 --> 00:24:17,488
You had better go
without him, major.
525
00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:19,823
He will be hanging
around the house this evening.
526
00:24:19,824 --> 00:24:21,508
Yeah. Yeah.
527
00:24:21,509 --> 00:24:24,277
Would you...?
Jeannie, would you stop?
528
00:24:24,278 --> 00:24:26,079
Would you...?
Would you...?
529
00:24:26,129 --> 00:24:30,679
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