Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:05,362
♪♪
2
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:19,195
♪ I bet we've been
together for a million years ♪
3
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:23,666
♪ And I bet we'll be
together for a million more ♪
4
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:27,403
♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪
5
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:30,206
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
6
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:35,445
♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
7
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:43,469
♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪
8
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:52,695
♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪
9
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:57,901
♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪
10
00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,724
♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪
11
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:05,875
- Hey, guys. -Hi, Alex.
- Hi, Alex. -Hi, honey.
12
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,344
Hey, Mom, what are you doing?
13
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:11,964
Taxes. Got an extension...
They have to be in next week.
14
00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,985
Let's see, that's, uh...
15
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,987
that's, um...
16
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:21,758
What?
17
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:24,427
Uh, it's nothing.
It's nothing, Mom.
18
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:26,663
It's... this is... this is cute.
19
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:28,531
This... it's very cute.
20
00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,833
It's fine. Just go ahead.
21
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:37,540
Alex, I think Mom
is perfectly capable
22
00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,275
of doing the family taxes.
23
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:40,310
Thank you, Jennifer.
24
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,345
I appreciate the
words of support.
25
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:46,115
Now, why isn't Alex doing
'em, like he usually does?
26
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:48,117
Well, Alex isn't always
going to be here.
27
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:50,320
Besides, I should be
able to do this stuff.
28
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,989
Your father can't help because
he's got a deadline to meet...
29
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,625
He has to finish his new
documentary on Leo Tolstoy.
30
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:58,328
Well, what happened to
the one he was doing before?
31
00:01:58,352 --> 00:01:59,829
Exotic Pet Stores...
32
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,966
How Much Is That
Armadillo in the Window?
33
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,601
He's blocked on that.
34
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:08,071
So he switched, and
I get to do the taxes.
35
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:10,406
What? Mom, look,
you don't understand.
36
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,408
This is America,
37
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:15,111
and in America,
Americans don't just sit
38
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,879
and "do their taxes."
39
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:19,549
They go to H&R Block or, uh...
40
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,651
or me.
41
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,420
Well, Alex, I don't
have to go anywhere.
42
00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:26,289
Our taxes aren't
that complicated.
43
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:29,325
No, Mom, what I'm telling
you is that you are being offered
44
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:33,013
the services of
Keaton... & Keaton.
45
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:39,035
Alex, because this is America,
I support and benefit from
46
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:41,961
many of the government
programs our taxes pay for.
47
00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:47,210
So I am not interested
48
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:50,747
in the Keaton & Keaton
"insidious loophole" approach.
49
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,515
Take your hands off Andy's ears.
50
00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:53,983
All right.
51
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:57,420
A good citizen pays
all of his or her taxes.
52
00:02:57,444 --> 00:03:00,175
But at Keaton & Keaton,
no one pays taxes.
53
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,329
I'm sorry, but no, thanks.
54
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,097
All right, Andy, never mind.
55
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,333
Can't teach an
old dog new tricks.
56
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,068
Excuse me?
57
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:14,604
Oh, I'm sorry, I
meant a young dog.
58
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,256
A puppy.
59
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:24,580
Oh, Elyse, I'm really excited
about this Tolstoy documentary.
60
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:27,850
The whole key to
it lies in this book...
61
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,086
- What?
- War and Peace.
62
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:31,387
Remember? I was reading this
63
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,456
the night you went
into labor with Alex
64
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,458
22 years ago!
65
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:35,732
Oh!
66
00:03:35,756 --> 00:03:38,327
This week, I'm gonna
pick up where I left off.
67
00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,029
Oh, Steven, I
remember. I remember.
68
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:44,548
You wanted to name Alex:
Sascha Alexei Keatonovich.
69
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:49,806
It's amazing I
grew up so normal.
70
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,823
Don't flatter yourself, Sascha.
71
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,128
- Hi. -Hey, Mal.
- Hey, Mal.
72
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:00,750
- Hi, Daddy.
- Well, hi, Mal.
73
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,752
How's your documentary going?
74
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,654
Well, I think it's
gonna be great.
75
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:07,323
Looks like you
stripped the library bare.
76
00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:09,325
Lucky for me.
77
00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:12,061
Oh, yeah.
78
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,197
Do you want something?
79
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:17,400
Well, I was gonna ask you
a question, but it can wait.
80
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,635
Oh, Mal, if you've got
a question, just ask.
81
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:22,672
I-I'm sure between the
brilliant Mr. Tolstoy and me,
82
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,029
we can come up with an answer.
83
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,910
Can Nick stay here for a week
84
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,493
while his apartment's
being painted?
85
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,531
Nyet.
86
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:40,790
Dad, please? I mean, Nick
really has no place else to go.
87
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,092
I think we can do
this much for Nick.
88
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,795
Thanks, Dad! I
know it's a big favor.
89
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,598
I'm unclear about
this... Did I say yes?
90
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,567
Uh, now, look, Mal, um,
you've got to explain to Nick
91
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:54,237
that your father's got a lot of
work to do on his documentary
92
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,506
and Nick's really gonna
have to keep out of his way.
93
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,975
Oh, yeah, of course, no, you
don't have to worry about that.
94
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:02,411
The Nick I know is a very
quiet and private person.
95
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:05,581
I mean, when we're
together, sometimes we...
96
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:08,439
we completely forget
the other person's there.
97
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,322
One of us has to
say to the other...
98
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:15,838
"Hey. I'm here."
99
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,958
That's one hell of a think tank.
100
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:31,407
Oh, my gosh, I almost forgot!
101
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:32,875
Oh!
102
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,095
Hey. I'm here.
103
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,019
Hey, guys, what's
all that stuff for?
104
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,621
Well, Nick, he's gonna
have to sleep on the couch,
105
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:47,256
so I'm gonna make
it comfortable for him.
106
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:50,626
Hey, wait a minute, could we
get a tax deduction for boarders?
107
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,428
'Fraid not, Mom.
108
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,497
See, technically,
he's not a boarder.
109
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,854
He's a freeloader.
110
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,736
Alex, would you get up?
111
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,372
Uh... absolutely not.
112
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,842
Fine, fine. Have it your way.
113
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,844
Mal... Mal...
114
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,012
How's it coming with
the taxes, honey?
115
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,514
Needn't concern yourself.
116
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,382
Dad, Mom's not
taking full advantage
117
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:14,884
of the new tax laws!
118
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:18,287
Elyse, I'd listen to the couch.
119
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,789
All right, Alex, that's it!
120
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,791
Just get up!
121
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,293
Jen, help me with
those pillows, okay?
122
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,195
No, not that end...
Nick always likes
123
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,211
to sleep with his
feet pointing north.
124
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,970
How would you know?
125
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,805
How would I know?
126
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:39,275
Uh... well, Nick told me.
127
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,131
Yes.
128
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:47,850
Nick's like a compass, see?
129
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:50,786
And... in fact, if
you lay him down
130
00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:54,975
with his feet pointing south,
he'll turn completely around.
131
00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:59,262
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
132
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:01,030
whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey.
133
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,199
Mr. Keaton, you really
ought to change the blades
134
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,101
in that razor more often.
135
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,603
It's an electric razor, Nick.
136
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,619
Not anymore.
137
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,541
Well, I'm really tired.
138
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,543
I think I'm gonna
go hit the sack.
139
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,212
Yeah, me, too.
140
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,748
Hey, listen, can
we point him south?
141
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,970
'Cause I want to see him
spin completely around.
142
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,022
I'm going up, too.
Come on, sweetheart.
143
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,691
Yep, I'm exhausted.
Let's go, Mal.
144
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:30,693
I'll be up in a
little while, Dad.
145
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,562
No rush. We'll wait.
146
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,077
- Good night, Nick.
- Night.
147
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,471
Elyse, I'm not too thrilled
148
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:45,174
with the sleeping
arrangements here.
149
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:48,999
We've been sleeping in
the same bed for 20 years.
150
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,883
Not us.
151
00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:58,754
Please, Steven,
don't be ridiculous.
152
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:00,056
Everything's gonna be fine.
153
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,590
Now, can we go to bed?
154
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,259
All right, I'm sorry.
155
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,411
You're right.
156
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:13,369
We're two mature adults.
157
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,471
We trust our daughter.
158
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,606
We trust this young man.
159
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:19,258
Let's go to sleep.
160
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:58,080
Nick, Nick, wake up.
161
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,448
We don't have much time.
162
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,183
My dad's asleep on the landing.
163
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,818
Oh, oh, oh, oh, all
right, all right, I'm awake,
164
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,020
- Shh!
- I'm awake, I'm awake.
165
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,604
Let's go for it in the
kitchen. Come on.
166
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,933
All right!
167
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:24,106
What exactly is
going on in here?
168
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:27,043
Aw... Mr. K, you've
ruined the surprise.
169
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,059
Thank God.
170
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,282
What surprise?
171
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:36,208
We're gonna make a big
breakfast for the whole family.
172
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,992
So...
173
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,894
that's what you were, uh...
174
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,695
doing i-in here?
175
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,278
Yeah. What are you doing here?
176
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:54,270
Dad?
177
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,872
Oh, Mal! Nick! I...
178
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:03,546
What a deep sleep I was in.
179
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,548
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
180
00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:07,550
What am I doing in the kitchen?
181
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:11,944
I... Oh! I must have
been sleepwalking!
182
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,682
Well... good night.
183
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,631
Hey, Mom.
184
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:23,899
Hmm?
185
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:26,502
Last chance for some
professional tax assistance.
186
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:29,860
She doesn't need
an H&R blockhead.
187
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:32,208
That's right.
188
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,343
I'm just seconds away
from the biggest tax refund
189
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,644
in Keaton history.
190
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:38,481
Okay, come on, Keogh
deduction plan, do your stuff.
191
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,216
Mama needs a new pair of shoes!
192
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,384
How much are we
getting back, Mom?
193
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:45,354
- Minus $3,000.
- Oh, my God...
194
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,223
Don't spend it all
in one place, Mom.
195
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,991
Wait a minute, I-I
can't believe this.
196
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:51,227
It says we... we owe $3,000.
197
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,762
How could we owe $3,000?
198
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,164
Guess what I got in the mail?
199
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,866
A check for $800.
200
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,535
Alex did my taxes
and this is the refund!
201
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:06,976
$800?
202
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,360
Mallory, that's
more than you made.
203
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:19,288
Alex, will you take a
look at this for me, please?
204
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,690
Uh, well, Mom, it looks to
me like you've got everything
205
00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:23,792
under control, so I'm just
gonna shove off, okay?
206
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:24,827
Oh, please, honey.
207
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,195
Mom, Mom, don't beg, okay?
208
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,396
You're much better than...
209
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,322
Oh, please, I'll be
your best friend.
210
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:51,620
♪ Oh, what a beautiful morning ♪
211
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:56,592
♪ Oh, what a beautiful day ♪
212
00:11:56,616 --> 00:12:01,230
♪ I got a beautiful feeling ♪
213
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:04,533
♪ Everything's going my way. ♪
214
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,835
Hey.
215
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:08,157
Hey, hey.
216
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,043
Nick, what are you doing here?
217
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:18,380
Oh, wait... you live here now.
218
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,883
Hey, hey, hey... you know, that
was a pretty amusing incident
219
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,651
that happened in the
kitchen earlier this morning,
220
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,153
huh, Mr. K? Huh?
221
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,155
Yeah. Glad you enjoyed it, Nick.
222
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,490
Next show at 11:00.
223
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:31,260
So, I, uh, guess it's just
the two of us at home.
224
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,262
Yeah, that's how it looks.
225
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,630
What are we gonna do?
226
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,899
Well, whatever we're gonna do,
227
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,902
I'm just hoping we'll
do it in separate rooms.
228
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,071
Well, maybe later.
229
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,807
Right now, you just do
what you normally do,
230
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:47,142
and, uh, I'll do what I do, huh?
231
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:50,079
Fine. Fine, Nick.
232
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,518
Hey, uh... Uh, Mr. K,
233
00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:58,354
I'm just gonna do a
bunch of sit-ups, huh?
234
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,189
And, uh, could you count for me?
235
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,191
Tell me when I get to 100?
236
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,727
Sure thing, Nick. Get started.
237
00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,166
What am I up to?
238
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:13,182
Uh... that's one.
239
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:17,857
Boy, am I out of shape.
240
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:20,442
Am I at two yet?
241
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,444
Not yet.
242
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:30,185
So, uh, what's the
big book about, huh?
243
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:32,755
Uh...
244
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:33,789
Russia.
245
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,457
Russia. Huh.
246
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:39,161
So, uh, you just read
for the general idea.
247
00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:40,414
Me, too.
248
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,306
Adult's Digest.
249
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,975
Adults digest what?
250
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,662
I guess whatever they eat, huh?
251
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,218
Oh, hey, hey, hey, I don't
mean to be disturbing you, huh?
252
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:04,176
No. No, no, no.
253
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,679
I'll just, uh, get into
my own thing here.
254
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:13,784
"Meet Bill's gallbladder."
255
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:20,102
"I am a... membranous
muscular sac
256
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:23,038
"in which Bill's bile is stored.
257
00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:26,375
"What is Bill's bile, you ask?
258
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:32,396
Bile is a yellow or
greenish fluid s..."
259
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:40,608
"secreted by my very close
personal friend, Bill's liver."
260
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:48,097
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
261
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,366
Hey, I don't mean to be
bothering you, all right?
262
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,469
I'll, uh... I'll just get into
my own thing here, all right?
263
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,655
Yeah.
264
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,840
Nick!
265
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:34,943
What-what are you doing?!
266
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,612
Who? Me?
267
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:39,948
Oh! Look!
268
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:43,952
Why, a little fairy must've
brought you a cup of tea.
269
00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:45,968
♪ Tea! ♪
270
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:53,562
Mal, can I talk to you about
something for a minute?
271
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,063
Sure, honey.
272
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:57,533
Have you noticed a
slight tension in this house
273
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,468
between me and your dad?
274
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,136
No more than usual.
275
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,305
It's starting to make me
think that maybe I shouldn't
276
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:05,441
be staying here. Maybe
I should go downtown
277
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,457
and stay at the Hi-De-Ho "Hote."
278
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:12,448
No, honey, you mean
the Hi-De-Ho Hotel.
279
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,998
The "L" burnt out, remember?
280
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:21,023
Oh. Oh.
281
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:23,414
I just thought they
changed the name.
282
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,729
Anyway, I just think it'd
be better for everybody
283
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:29,298
if I just left.
284
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,700
No, honey, we all
love having you here.
285
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:34,837
No, it's rather obvious
that your father doesn't.
286
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:38,263
But, honey, he never liked you.
287
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:41,176
Yeah, I know, you know?
288
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,811
But it's just starting
to get to me.
289
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,047
I mean, everybody
likes me, you know?
290
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:47,216
Except for maybe my
uncle Louie, all right?
291
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,851
When I was eight years old,
292
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,954
I accidentally burnt
down his garage.
293
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:56,758
However, his wife, Aunt Louie...
294
00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:58,760
she loves me.
295
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:01,430
Anyway, I'm a
good guy, you know?
296
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,965
Your father should like me.
297
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,800
Well, Nick, maybe if
you stopped whining
298
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:07,169
about whether or not
he likes you and just...
299
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:10,372
act the way you do around
me, he's bound to like you.
300
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,388
You think I ought to kiss him?
301
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:16,879
Hi.
302
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:20,349
Listen, sometimes it just
takes a while with my dad.
303
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,750
Just be patient.
304
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:25,420
Oh! Look who's
here. It's my dad.
305
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:28,437
Dad, Nick; Nick, Dad. Bye.
306
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,130
Hey, Mr. Keaton.
307
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,700
Oh. Oh, gosh.
308
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,335
Hello, Nick.
309
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,337
So, uh,
310
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:45,354
- how's that Russian thing coming, huh?
- Yeah, well...
311
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:49,945
Fine, Nick, thanks. Thanks.
312
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:52,114
Hey, uh, you know how
to make a White Russian?
313
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:53,649
- It's one part vod...
- Oh, thank-thanks, Nick.
314
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:56,251
I-I'm sure I'll be able to
work that in here somewhere.
315
00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:57,920
You know how to
make Russian dressing?
316
00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,421
Yes, I do, Nick.
317
00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:02,190
Good, good... I mean, you'll
be able to slip that right in
318
00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:04,660
after the White Russian
part, you know? I mean...
319
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,495
we're just rolling
right along here, huh?
320
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,497
Nick...
321
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,066
- if you don't mind.
- Oh, hey, I understand.
322
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,969
Oh, here. Let me
get those for... Oh.
323
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:14,835
Nick! Please!
324
00:18:14,859 --> 00:18:17,573
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to help.
325
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:22,277
I don't need you to
help me with this, Nick.
326
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:23,779
Okay, Mr. Keaton.
327
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,548
You don't need me to
help you with nothing, huh?
328
00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:27,549
Nick, please.
329
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:29,565
I have work to do.
330
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:35,190
You know, you've never
really given me a chance.
331
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:38,126
A chance for what?
332
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:40,796
A chance to show
you who I really am.
333
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,798
I mean, from the
minute you met me,
334
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,800
you always thought
I was this dumb guy
335
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:47,803
with no future who's no
good for your daughter.
336
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:51,073
And now four years later,
you think I'm this dumb guy
337
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:54,158
with no future who's no
good for your daughter.
338
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:57,512
Nick, that's not true.
339
00:18:57,536 --> 00:19:00,115
I don't think you're dumb.
340
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,404
Yeah, but you don't think I'm
any good for your daughter.
341
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,325
Look, if Mal
wants to talk to me,
342
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:13,615
tell her she can find me
down at the Hi-De-Ho Hote.
343
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,023
Elyse, I've been up all
night... up all night thinking.
344
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,709
I need your opinion.
345
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,378
Okay.
346
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,880
I've always been
nice to Nick, haven't I?
347
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,882
Are you crazy?
348
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,618
No, I'm serious.
349
00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:38,954
Come on, Steven, from the
moment Nick set foot in this house,
350
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,722
you were determined
not to like him.
351
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:41,790
Well, so were you.
352
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,291
Yeah, well, I came
around, though.
353
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:45,360
I learned to like
him; I talked to him...
354
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:47,496
got to know the real Nick,
355
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,899
the true Nick, the inner Nick.
356
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,303
Aw.
357
00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:57,305
Steven, once you
get to know him,
358
00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:59,074
he's really a wonderful guy.
359
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:01,576
He's very good-hearted,
he's sensitive,
360
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,012
he's-he's good-looking,
he's caring.
361
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,348
Actually, he reminds
me a lot of you.
362
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,783
What?!
363
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,785
Oh, no, no. Just think about it.
364
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:12,721
Do you remember the first time
you came to my parents' house?
365
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:16,091
You-you had this headband
on, and the real long hair
366
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,527
and-and your ripped jeans.
367
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,896
God, you scared my
mother half to death.
368
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,355
My father thought you were Cher.
369
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:29,404
Look, Elyse, I know
what you're getting at here,
370
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,039
but it's a completely
different situation.
371
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,175
When I was Nick's
age, I was goal-oriented.
372
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:36,111
I-I had a career in mind.
I had a college degree.
373
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,580
That may be true,
but there is something
374
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,782
you have in common with Nick.
375
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:44,386
It's the way that you
loved and cared for me
376
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,388
when you were a young
man... It's-it's the same way
377
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,957
that-that Nick loves and
cares for Mallory now.
378
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,660
That's a real
rare thing to find.
379
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,466
Dad, I hope you're happy,
380
00:20:57,490 --> 00:21:00,153
making Nick stay at
the Hi-De-Ho Hotel.
381
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:04,172
You don't understand the
impact you have on Nick.
382
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:07,064
And he really cares a
lot what you think of him.
383
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:10,645
You know, Nick is one of
the sweetest guys I know.
384
00:21:10,669 --> 00:21:13,815
I mean, I'd do anything to
have a boyfriend like him.
385
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:17,052
Jennifer, go
stand in the corner.
386
00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:26,461
- Oh, um...
- Hi.
387
00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:30,081
Uh, I just came by to
pick up my toothbrush.
388
00:21:32,091 --> 00:21:34,083
I'll get it.
389
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,176
Nick, come in. Uh...
390
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,178
make yourself at home.
391
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:46,615
What is this, a trap?
392
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,116
No, no, I, uh...
393
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,118
I think we need to talk.
394
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,420
I, uh...
395
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:54,389
I realize I made things
pretty unpleasant for you
396
00:21:54,413 --> 00:21:56,391
these last few days.
397
00:21:56,415 --> 00:21:59,294
Years.
398
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:01,296
When I first met you,
you didn't strike me
399
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:05,052
as the sort of young man
I wanted for my daughter.
400
00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:07,957
And now?
401
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:11,973
Well...
402
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:16,833
when you say "now,"
do you mean right now?
403
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:20,916
Look, uh...
404
00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:22,966
Mr. Keaton, sit down.
405
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:30,225
You know, I know I am
not exactly the kind of guy
406
00:22:30,249 --> 00:22:32,582
you wished your daughter
had fallen in love with.
407
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:37,666
But I got to tell you,
uh, you know, uh...
408
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,668
I'm really happy being me.
409
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,002
I like me.
410
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:43,018
I would go out and
buy me a Coke.
411
00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:49,511
But if you don't like me
412
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,780
and if you're never
gonna like me,
413
00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:55,317
I mean, hey, that's the
way it's got to be, you know?
414
00:22:55,341 --> 00:22:56,985
But I love your daughter,
415
00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:59,754
and I want to be with
her for the rest of my life.
416
00:22:59,778 --> 00:23:01,723
And I want you to know
417
00:23:01,747 --> 00:23:05,427
that I am gonna take
excellent care of her.
418
00:23:05,451 --> 00:23:07,750
I know you will, Nick.
419
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,433
And, listen... about
whether I'm ever
420
00:23:11,457 --> 00:23:13,435
gonna like you or not...
421
00:23:15,194 --> 00:23:16,856
I like you right now.
422
00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:20,008
You have respect for yourself.
423
00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:22,010
You have respect...
424
00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:25,347
for my daughter.
425
00:23:25,371 --> 00:23:28,250
I admire that in a man.
426
00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:31,253
Hey.
427
00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:34,322
Thanks, Dad.
428
00:23:34,346 --> 00:23:37,839
I knew I shouldn't
have said anything.
429
00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:08,189
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
30757
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
