All language subtitles for Family Ties.S07E22_23.Wrap Around the Clock.eng

♪♪

♪ I bet we've been
together for a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be
together for a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪

Freeze!

Where do you think you're going?

Uh, no place, Mom.

We're just, uh, trying
to break in our coats.

But we were
supposed to all be here

tonight to share this.

Oh, no, not another
Woodstock slide show

where you guys spend the
evening trying to spot yourselves

among... among a sea
of long hair and beards.

Jennifer,

we once spotted a blonde speck

in that crowd that was
definitely your mother.

That's not what
we're doing tonight.

What are we doing tonight?

You're helping me make
a time capsule for school.

Oh, that sounds neat...
What are you gonna put in it?

I'm gonna put stuff
about our family.

Can you put Alex in there?

I could try.

So if you have any mementos
that remind you of growing up,

put them in there.

I, uh, I actually have the
first dollar I ever earned.

Uh, and I'll sell it
to you for 25 bucks.

You sure you can't
put Alex in there?

Maybe if we let some of
the hot air out of him, he'll fit.

So what do you got
in here so far, Andy?

- I got my baby boots.
- Oh...

Yeah, you know, I've
got mine bronzed...

which made it
really tough to walk.

Look, our old color slides.

- Oh, no, the slides!
- No slides.

I thought you kids
loved my slide shows.

You used to sit there,

staring at them, eyes wide open.

No, Dad, we learned
to sleep that way.

I can't believe you
guys can watch this.

You look ridiculous.

Half a million people trying
to stop a senseless war.

You find that ridiculous?

I'm talking about the outfits.

I'm dying, I'm dying.

Promise me you'll never show
these when my friends are here.

Promise or I'm
leaving home right now.

Mallory, that was
history in the making.

There were people... every
state in the union at that protest.

What were you
protesting... Good grooming?

Mommy, you look so pretty.

Like an Indian princess.

That's your father, dear.

- There I am.
- There you go.

You look almost
as pretty as Daddy.

Daddy, how long ago was that?

That was very long ago.

In a galaxy far, far away.

All right, who wants to see

the Peace Corps slides?

You know, this is fun,
and it's a great way

to clean out my closet.

Do you have room for
six pairs of Earth Shoes,

a mood ring and a pet rock?

Why were you guys
always protesting stuff?

Well, I think it
was just the times.

There was a lot to be
upset about, you know?

War, the government.

Not being able to drag a
comb through your hair.

Don't listen to
your brother, Andy.

If he'd been older, he
would've loved the '60s.

Mom, the only way I
could've enjoyed the '60s

would be if my headband
had been too tight,

I had lost consciousness

and woke up in the '80s.

Wait a minute, Alex.

I seem to remember
your getting involved

in a protest or two.

That's right,

Andy, and it was for
a good cause, too...

The Equal Rights Amendment.

Alex?

No, it was for a
better cause than that.

It was for a girl.

♪ Deep in our hearts ♪

♪ We do believe ♪

♪ We shall not be moved today. ♪

All right!

That's right. Sing it!

It's important.

Are you okay?

No, not really.

Look, Deena, I cannot
go on with this any longer.

I-I-I'm not really...

Alex, that was a very
courageous thing you did,

coming to Dorothy's
defense like that.

Well, thanks, but, uh,

listen, about this whole
ERA business, this-this...

this button, this-this
shirt... It's not...

Is that a scratch on your ear?

Yeah, but it's nothing.

Oh, those animals.

Alex, I don't think I've ever
been as attracted to anybody

as I am to you right now.

So, what is it you
wanted to tell me?

Don't remember.

I think it was a
trivia question.

Isn't this romantic?

The two of us in
prison together.

Alex, I want to think you
for coming to my defense.

I'm proud of you.

And I'm very impressed with
your passion for the movement.

Well, uh, Dorothy,
it was a privilege

to come to your aid.

I mean, I-I regret I have

but one ear to
give to the cause.

Alex, when you talk
like that, I can barely

keep my hands off you.

But-but those
are just idle words.

I mean, there is a
job to be done here.

- Yes, there is.
- Right on!

You know, and not only by us,

but by women everywhere.

Yeah, tell 'em!

How long must we wait?

How long are we expected
to accept these indignities?

How long, Lord?

You know, I feel the way
President Kennedy must've felt

that day at the Berlin
wall, when he said,

"Today I am a Berliner."

Well, today in this
cell, I say to you,

"I am a woman."

Alex definitely turns up
in the most unlikely places.

"His mother put him to bed,
and made some chamomile tea,

and she gave a
dose of it to Peter."

See? Right there.

"One tablespoon full
to be taken at bedtime.

"But Flopsy, Mopsy
and Cottontail,

"who are good little bunnies,

had bread and milk and
blackberries for supper."

There, see?

These are blackberries.

Read it again, Mommy.

Give it a break, Alex.

She read it three times.

Hey, come on, Andy
and I love to read together.

"And then Mr. Reagan said...

"" Oh, look, Mommy,

"" It's Secretary of State...

It's Secretary of
State George Shultz. ""

Boy, Andrew, this I Love
Republicans pop-up book

was the best
purchase I ever made.

Make Nancy wave again.

Hi.

What is this word right here?

"Impeach."

Isn't that sweet?

It really is.

You know, sometimes I
think we're too harsh on Alex.

He-he's not just a callous
archconservative Republican.

You know, sometimes
he can be a warm,

loving son and brother.

"I... am...

not... a crook."

The one thing you don't
want to see, though,

is a book in Mallory's hands.

"But I reckon I got to light out

"for the territory ahead of
the rest because Aunt Sally,

"she's gonna adopt
me and civilize me

and I can't stand it...
I've been there before."

Mal, is that you?

What are you doing?

I'm reading.

When did you learn how?

When I found out that
Cosmopolitan magazine

was banned in certain
places, I became enraged.

Then I saw Huckleberry
Finn sitting on the coffee table,

and I said to myself,

"What better way to
show Jennifer my support?"

So I picked it up and I started
reading and you know what?

I love it.

I love reading... I'm gonna
teach Nick how to read.

Mallory did a great job of it.

"The little engine
looked at the hill

and said, 'I think I can. ""

"I think... I can."

"I think I can."

This is getting
pretty exciting, huh?

I wonder what happens next?

He gets up the hill, Nick.

I got a few things...

from my own personal collection.

Alex, that's way too big.

What's in there, your ego?

Andy, I'm gonna give
you my favorite baby toy.

She knew how to feather her
hair before she even had any.

And this is the English
textbook that I used to help Nick

get his high school
equivalency diploma.

Yeah, yeah, you, uh,
you were a lot of help.

What is a verb?

What does it do in a sentence?

Uh, it just kind of sits there,

trying not to bother
the other words.

Come on, Nick.

A verb is a word that does
something active in a sentence,

like walk or run or eat.

Yeah, but, um,
eating's not active.

Unless you eat and run.

Well, you don't have to
be moving to be active.

You just have to
be doing something.

Well... what about
if you're dead?

I mean, you can't be
active when you're dead,

unless you're a
ghost or a vampire.

Well, you can use verbs
for ghosts and vampires.

Uh, just not for ordinary
dead people, huh?

I'm gonna have to look that up,

I think they have
special verbs for them.

You know, this
is without a doubt,

the most inane and
absurd conversation

I've ever heard.

Alex, what are you doing here?

What am I do... well,
I'm not "doing" anything,

so I guess I'll need one
of those special verbs.

Like you use for dead people.

Did Nick graduate?

Yes, Andy, Nick did graduate...

What was that, honey?

With Alex's help.

That's right.

And it was no
easy feat either, pal.

Oh, come on, Alex, don't
underestimate your sister.

She's helped quite a few people.

Remember when she was
our little, uh, Ann Landers?

I better get started.

Look at all these
letters I have already.

- Oh...
- Oh, hey.

You can't actually look, Dad.

They're confidential.

Oh, let me look.

Well, I guess you're
family and all, so...

"Dear Mallory, I
need your advice.

"My partner doesn't
satisfy me sexually,

and I was wondering..."

Oh, Dad! My advice is
that you don't read that.

Very wise, Dear Mallory.

Alex, Alex, guess what.

I'm Dear Mallory.

Yeah, and I'm adorable Alex.

Ha-ha.

No, you don't understand.

I'm taking over the
personal advice column

for the Columbus
Shopper's Guide.

The column is
called "Dear Mallory."

No, wait, wait, wait...
Columbus Shopper's Guide.

Isn't that that freebie
giveaway thing they have

at the checkout counter
at the supermarkets,

the one with all
the coupons in it?

That's right.

What are you so
excited about, Mal?

You're gonna, you're gonna
be giving advice to-to lowlife

bargain hunters who can't
afford to buy a real paper.

But, Alex, they're not
lowlife bargain hunters.

They're people, real people
coming to me for advice.

Mallory, if these people are
willing to shell out a quarter,

they could turn to Dear Abby.

I can help him.

That was a great job.

People came to me for help,

and I didn't help them
one bit, but I had fun.

I guess that's all that counts.

Oh, come on, Dad,
you-you've messed up

on helping people
plenty of times.

Like who?

Like me, whenever you helped me

with my homework.

I remember a certain philosophy
paper that I was doing...

I don't know, Dad, I
have to disagree with you.

Kierkegaard felt
that all knowledge

must be self-knowledge.

I think you're wrong, Jen.

He was also concerned

with the larger
societal problems.

Dad, you're missing
the point completely.

Oh, am I?

Kierkegaard believed that
examining man's existence

within a larger
framework of a societal,

historical dialectic
was the avoidance

of subjective knowledge so
essential to comprehending

any type of spiritual truth.

Jennifer, go to your room.

Jennifer, go to your room.

Now, come on, don't
be so hard on your dad.

He's done a lot around here.

Remember when he
re-wallpapered the kitchen?

All by himself, too.

Elyse, Mal, Jennifer,
Andrew, everybody!

Could you come
out for a minute?!

There's something
I'd like to show you!

What, honey?

Oh...

Oh, Steven, it's magnificent!

I never really liked this
wallpaper, but you made it work.

This is pretty nice, Mr. K.

Maybe you can come
over to my house

and do my kitchen for me.

Well, I have to admit

I'm really good with my hands.

Anyway, there's a certain
satisfaction a man gets,

a certain satisfaction a man
gets from a job well done.

I think I should do more
work around the house.

I don't think so, Dad.

Oh, that's...

that's... that's fine... no...

That's fine.

No problem.

I fully expected that to happen.

Whoa! Whoa...!

- Whoa! Hey, hey...
- Oh!

Well, it was beautiful
while it lasted.

Your father's
obsessiveness is one of

his most charming traits.

Well, thank you, dear,
but I think I've seen you

go off the deep end a few times.

Oh, you have?

Yeah, come on, Mom,
he's got you there.

Does the phrase "snake
eyes" mean anything to you?

All right, all right, all right,

don't get into your pet
names for each other.

You know, Andy,
there was one time

when your mother became
a complete compulsive.

Mom, I bet you were

the prettiest
compulsive on the block.

Thank you, honey.

Your mother became a
real riverboat gambler.

All she was missing
was the riverboat.

You see, we-we all
went to Atlantic City,

where your mother was to
deliver a lecture at a convention.

Instead, she fell in
love with blackjack.

Who's he?

It's a card game, honey.

Blackjack's a card game.

Like "Go Fish"?

A little, but when
was the last time

someone made $2,000
playing "Go Fish"?

Mom, I'm hungry.

Oh, can I get some ice cream?

Oh, in a few minutes, honey.

Your dad and I are gonna
play a couple hands of blackjack

and then we'll go have a snack.

Hey, hey, Mom, Mom,
look, what are you doing?

Every second you
delay means interest lost

on the money we're gonna win.

Oh, there's Tom Jones!
There's Tom Jones!

He's coming this
way! Here he comes!

Good call, Mal.

It looked like him
from a distance, Alex.

You want to give it a try?

Well, we might as
well get it over with.

You guys stay
behind the rope here

and don't get in any trouble.

I'm sorry, but only
people over 21 in here.

Oh, I'll sit back here.

Your last 21.

What do you think
I should do, Elyse?

Oh, don't ask me, Steven; I
can only think about my speech.

- Stick.
- Hmm?

Didn't you read the
cards that Alex gave you?

Since the deck is rich in
tens, you've got to stick,

figuring the dealer's
four will bust him.

You heard her... stick.

23, a bust.

- Oh, whoo!
- We won!

Come on, let's
cash in those chips.

Oh, come on, Elyse.

Why don't you just
play one game?

- Well, all right.
- Come on.

Guess it'd be silly to come
all the way to Atlantic City

and not play one
hand of blackjack.

Hey, Mom, how's it going?

Remember, if the dealer
has a four, five or six showing,

you want to stick on
12. If he's got a three...

Hit the 13, seven
or above, hit the 17.

It's great to see
a mother and son

enjoying a common interest.

Okay, see, the
dealer has a picture...

Hit.

Stick.

17 for the dealer.

- Whoo!
- Yay! We win!

I got to get in on this.

Hi, how you doing?

I'm Big Al from Vegas.

Vinny says hello.

Excuse me, son, didn't I tell
you you weren't allowed in here?

Who, Me? No, you've
never seen me before.

I'm just here with my wife
and my brother-in-law...

Nice try, kid.

See you later, hon.

Blackjack! Whoo!

On that note,
let's call it a day.

Come on, honey,
let's hit the boardwalk.

Can it, Steven.

We're not going anywhere.

Hit me over here. Stick.

Hit me over, but be gentle.

Ooh, soft 16.

Hit me again.

Ooh, stick.

Hit me over here on the end.

- Stick. Thanks, Eddie.
- My pleasure, Elyse.

The lady wins on all three.

Whoo!

Way to go, Mom. Hang in there.

How ya doing? Nice to see ya.

You have won quite
a bit of money, Elyse.

Why don't we just cash in now?

Oh, Steven, everything
is under control, baby.

One more hour,
and we are in fat city.

Okay, now, Eddie,
I'm doubling my bets.

Be nice to me.

Mom, can I go backstage

and hang around Tom
Jones's dressing room?

Sure, honey.

Say hi to Tom for me.

Mom, I'm really getting hungry.

Here's ten dollars.

Get yourself some ice cream.

Mom, I saw this
girl in the lobby...

I think I have enough stuff.

Oh, don't be silly, Andy.

The night is young and Keaton
memories have just begun.

You know what,
Andy? I think it's time

that I pass down to you
one of my favorite collections.

Baseball cards?

They're better
than baseball cards:

The Alex Keaton report cards.

Nursery school through college.

You can keep 'em,
you can collect 'em,

you can trade 'em
with your friends.

Thanks, Alex. I'll treasure 'em.

You really know how

to give that something
special, don't you, Alex?

Why would you want to
save your report cards?

Because they're gems.

I mean, every year, all A's.

Unlike you, Mallory, who
spiced up her academic life

by getting a Q in math.

Mal, I think it's great
your brother shows

such an interest in academics.

After all, the
first day of school

is Alex's favorite
day of the year.

Jen, I'm telling you, you're
gonna do great in high school.

Yeah, Jen, what are
you worried about?

This is Harding High.
This is my alma mater.

I'm a legend there. Let
me see your schedule.

Little kids.

Okay, first period you
got Mr. Gibson for English.

No problem.

He loved me.

Wrote me a
recommendation for college.

Second period,
Mrs. Hentoff for math.

She wrote me two
recommendations for college.

Third period,
Mr. Kaufman for science.

He drove me to college.

Andy, Andy, let's
get to work, buddy.

You got a lot of
ground to cover here.

First day of kindergarten,

you want to get off
to a good start, right?

- I'm ready, Alex.
- You know, the first thing

your teacher's gonna ask is
what you did over the summer.

Now, a lot of kids are
gonna say, "I went to the zoo"

or "I went to the beach,"

or "I went to a baseball game."
What are you gonna say?

I watched the
Iran-Contra hearings.

And?

President Reagan
doesn't know anything.

Doesn't know anything
about the scandal, okay?

You don't want to be
quoted out of context.

See, the great
thing about Andy is,

whenever I'm talking,
the kid is mesmerized.

He expresses it in a funny way.

- Andy?
- Hmm?

Come on. Time for bed, sweetie.

- I'll take him up, Mom.
- Come on, Andy.

I better stay to oversee
the time capsule.

It's okay, Andy.

We'll work on it for you.

That's what I'm afraid of.

So now what?

Oh, I don't know, maybe... mm!

This.

That's great, Merlin.

Or perhaps...

this.

Please, Dad, no magic tricks.

You know what
happened the last time.

Okay, Alex, pick a card!

Any card.

Oh, Jennifer, Jennifer,
just the person I want to see.

Get in this box.

What is this, Daddy Dearest?

Come on...

Steven, we're not gonna put
our daughter in a magic box.

Well, okay, Elyse,
then you-you help me.

Oh, Jen, get in.
That's all right.

When I next open this box,

my daughter
Jennifer will be gone.

Come one, come
all from far and near,

you have seen my daughter dear.

I will make her disappear.

Well, that's-that's very good.

Now-Now bring her back.

Okay.

She's gone, she's
gone, alack, alack,

I will bring my daughter back.

Okay, okay... Jennifer?

Jennifer, the trick worked.

You, uh, come out now.

It's nothing.

She's really gone.

Can you do that with Mallory?

Wha-What's going on
here? Where is Jennifer?

I don't know.

That was just the beginning.

Soon, Dad was
completely out of control.

Poodle!

Thanks! My very own poodle.

What'll it be, Alex...
A mouse, peacock?

Giraffe?

- Dad?
- Hmm?

This has got to stop.

What do you mean?

Dad...

Dad, you're a well-educated guy.

And-and-and most of the
time, you're pretty normal, but...

Dad, you got to face
it, you have a problem.

Alex, it's just a hobby.

No, no, Dad, Dad, Dad...

it's an obsession;
it's a compulsion.

You have a compulsion
for... Say it with me...

You have a compulsion for...

Birthday party tricks.

That's... that's right, Dad.

And it's gotta stop.

The party is over.

You're right, Alex.

I need help.

Andy, what are you
doing out of bed?

I can't sleep.

The clothes on my
chair look like a monster.

This, uh, this wouldn't
by any chance be a ploy

to get one of us to read
you a bedtime story, would it?

No, but the monster's
requesting anything but Dr. Seuss.

I'll, uh, I'll go.

I speak monster.

I'll get it.

- Hey!
- Hi.

Things were going so
well there for a moment.

Hey, Mal... Mal,
Mal, Mal, Mal...

Uh, don't you remember?
We had a date tonight.

I got two tickets for the
postmodern art exhibition

and pie-eating contest.

Sounds like quite
a full evening.

I'm sorry, honey, I
just got caught up

in this Keaton
family time capsule

that Andy's making for school.

Oh, sounds like fun.

Can I play?

Sure, Nick.

Get in.

And, uh, we'll let you out when
Mallory comes to her senses.

Honey, honey, don't get in.

Okay, forget it... I'll just make
my own family time capsule.

I mean, that is if I
did have a family.

Come on, Nick,
what about your dad?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I sort of forgot about him.

I mean, we didn't get
together until recently,

and that was really weird.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey...!

Hey...

My God, Elyse, they're
speaking Nickanese.

Look at you.

You look great!

Yeah, you look great, too.

Yeah.

I don't see what the problem is.

They seem to
agree on everything.

Hey-ey-ey...

- Hey.
- Hey.

I think they're summing up now.

Nick, no matter what happens,

you'll always feel
like part of this family.

Stop, Elyse, I'm going
to have nightmares.

Do you remember when
Nick almost became

a member of our family?

When was that?

Oh, honey, don't you remember
when we almost got married?

Oh, yeah, yeah,
that was beautiful.

We're gathered here
today to join you, Erin,

and you, Michael, in marriage,

which is an
honorable institution.

It is the foundation of the home

as the home is the
foundation of society.

Oh, sounds serious.

The desire to join together in
love with another human being

is both noble and courageous.

Nick, why are you
getting married?

Because you asked me.

No, I mean, if I hadn't asked
you, would you be here?

By myself?

Would you have asked me?

Ah... I'm not sure.

You know, I'm not
sure we're ready.

Then why did you say yes?

You know, you're so much
smarter about these things than me.

I mean, you know, I figured
since you thought we were ready,

we must be ready
and I just didn't notice.

Nick, why doesn't it feel
right? We love each other.

I don't know.

Feels like we're
breaking the law.

Yeah, yeah, like our
wedding picture's gonna go up

on a post office wall.

Yeah, like you
say, we're starting

with a couple of
strikes against us:

I mean, your
parents aren't here,

our friends aren't here,

this guy doesn't know "Lola..."

Maybe my parents are right.

Maybe we're going too fast.

Maybe we could
slow down a little.

I mean, we don't have to
get married if we don't want to.

No, nobody can force us.

Okay.

Oh, Nick, I love you.

Let's not get married.

Mallory, you and
Nick are so romantic.

You know, I've often
caught you guys looking

into each other's eyes
with long meaningful stares.

Oh, no, Jennifer, those
are blinking contests.

Hey, Jen, if you're looking
for romantic role models,

don't go looking at He-Man
and She-Ra over here.

And you happen to have the
most romantic person in the world

living right here
under this roof.

Why, thank you, son.

No, Steven, he meant me.

I beg to differ,
darling... He meant me.

No, I'm the most romantic.

Don't make me bust your chops.

I was talking about me.

I mean, I, uh, I have
something of a way about me.

You may not realize this,

but women think of me as
something of a Don Juan.

More like a Don Knotts.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Remember when I first
started seeing Ellen?

And I drove all night?

I mean, I drove 400
miles just to see her,

to tell her how I felt?

Alex?

Hey... Ellen!

What are you doing here?

I, uh...

I, uh... You forgot
your Newsweek.

I-I-I figured you might want
that, so I swung by here.

It was no big deal, really.

It was seven hours.

There's a good article
on the omelet craze.

I read someone
else's copy on the train.

I can't tell you how
sorry I am to hear that.

Uh, Ellen, listen...

to be honest with you...

the magazine is not
the only reason I came.

Why else?

I don't know.

I, uh, I just had to come.

I mean, I was
in-in... in the car,

on my way to the
biggest night of my life,

and something made
me turn the car around.

I mean, I knew I
missed the dinner

and I'd be blowing
any shot I had

of returning this tux on time.

Something made me
turn the car around.

Ellen, uh, you and I
are completely different.

You're an artist.

You write poetry.

You attend anti-nuclear
demonstrations.

Me...

I'm an economics major.

I, uh... voted for Reagan.

I'm in the Young
Executives Club.

I-I wear a jacket and
tie everywhere I go.

Except for train stations
at 3:00 in the morning,

in which case, I wear a tuxedo.

Anyway, the point is, Ellen,

that I cannot,
for the life of me,

figure out why I love you.

You love me?

Yeah, I love you, okay?

I-I-I said it.

I mean, after all, Ellen,
if I'm gonna go this far,

I might as well go all the
way. I love you, all right?

I love you, I love
you, I love you.

I'm crazy about you, I'd
give anything to be with you,

I can't live without you, okay?

Gotta go. See ya.

I love you, too, Alex.

I mean, it's like you have a way

of seeing right through me.

I'm seeing a part of
me that I-I don't ev...

I don't even like
to admit exists.

And that scares me,
because if you see it,

that forces me...
What did you say?

I love you, too.

You do?

Alex, I've never met
anybody like you.

You come on like some
pompous, arrogant, obnoxious guy.

And underneath that,
there's this wide-eyed child,

completely innocent and naive.

Oh, is that...

sort of a compliment?

Yeah.

And just telling Ellen that
I loved her wasn't enough.

I started doing anything
I could to impress her.

Are you ready, Mikhail?

Da.

I'm ready.

What is it that you'll
be interpreting for us?

This, uh, particular
piece is an interpretation

of the Stock Market
Crash of 1929.

What music will you be
using to accompany yourself?

Uh, just, uh, just
play anything.

Th-this dance goes
with everything.

Maestro.

Mr. Keaton, is something wrong?

Uh, no, no.

Why do you ask?

Because you're not dancing.

You see, at this
point in the dance,

the economy is still good.

In, uh...

in a minute, the crash comes,

interest rates rise, and
the dance really takes off.

♪♪

Alex, are you okay?

I'm fine.

For my next number...

You see, I'm just
that kind of guy,

and when I met Lauren,
it was the same thing.

I'd do anything to open
up and show my true self,

even if it meant lying.

Alex, this is just a
polygraph machine.

If someone displays
undue tension

or an increase in pulse
when answering a question,

the machine buzzes and I
know they're not telling the truth.

Does it really bother you?

Oh, no, absolutely
not; absolutely not.

Uh, I got nothing to hide.

Oh, good. It's working.

Well, first I'd like to
ask you a few questions

to see how well you'll fit in

with the rest of
the subject group.

Now politically, would
you describe yourself

as liberal, middle of the
road, or conservative?

Uh, well, I-I don't
really like political labels.

Conservative.

Thank you.

Okay, overachievers,

they tend to
meticulously plan out

every aspect of their lives,
from graduation to retirement.

Do you see yourself as
an obsessive planner?

What, me? No.

Well, I-I wouldn't
say obsessive.

I'm a planning maniac.

Now, the typical overachiever

is so focused on
classes and career

that there's not much
time left for dating.

Would you say you have
a very active social life?

An active, active social life?

Yeah, are you actively dating?

Well,

I go out on a couple
of dates a week.

Maybe more.

This particular week
was a little slow.

This particular year
was a little slow.

Oh, I'll get it.

- Hey, Skipper.
- Hello, Mr. Keaton.

- Come on in.
- Hi, hi, everybody.

Andy told me about
his school project,

so I brought over
my first aid kit.

You're putting a first aid
kit in the time capsule?

Time capsule?!

I-I thought he said
a cold capsule.

Uh, so, what's up, guys?

Oh, we were just discussing

how Alex is so romantic
with his girlfriends.

Oh, well, did you discuss

how romantic he's
been with mine?

What's this?

I-I liked this girl named Jane,

and, uh, imagine
my shock and dismay

to discover that
she didn't like me.

Actually, that's to be expected,

but the fact that she liked
Alex took me by surprise.

I'm gonna go wash
my hands, okay?

Uh, you two get to know
each other a little better

- while I'm gone.
- Please don't leave me.

Uh, Skippy...

We're very close.

Skippy, I'll be
right back, okay?

So how long have you known Alex?

I can't remember.

Do you live next door or
across the street from Alex?

Are you all right?

You're not having

some kind of attack, are you?

No!

Good.

I'm really glad we had
this opportunity to talk.

Great.

Hi, I hope I gave you two

enough time alone together.

I think so.

Excuse me.

Uh, I'm gonna go wash my hair.

Skippy, you mean your hands.

Right, I mean,

I'm gonna wash the
hair on my hands.

He's quite a guy, isn't he?

I'll say.

I missed you while
you were gone, Alex.

Uh, I was only gone
for two minutes, Jane.

I don't know what
it is about you, Alex,

but you bring out
the animal in me.

Hope I'm not being too forward.

I understand.

Hi, we're here to pick up
a pizza for Keaton, please.

Mallory, look.

Jennifer and Mallory, what
are you guys doing here?

Um, we...

Come on over and say
hello to Alex and Jane.

Uh, no, Skippy,
don't go over there.

- Why not?
- Um...

I'm sorry, Mallory,

but I'm spoken for.

Better be getting
back to my date.

Uh, Skippy, don't...

Uh, uh...

I-I can explain this.

No, Alex, don't
bother explaining.

I-I think I can see
what's going on here.

I've got a great idea.

You know what we're
in perfect formation for.

A gang synchronized swim?

No, a sing-along.

Oh, Mom, if you go
into "If I Had a Hammer,"

I'm gonna lose it.

Oh, come on, a
sing-along will be fun.

After all, we
Keatons do it so well.

♪ This land is your land ♪

♪ This land is my land ♪

♪ From California ♪

♪ To the New York island ♪

♪ From the redwood forest ♪

♪ To the Gulf Stream waters ♪

♪ This land was
made for you and me. ♪

Everybody!

♪ I was walking ♪

♪ A ribbon of highway... ♪

♪ She'll be riding six white
horses when she comes ♪

♪ She'll be riding six white
horses when she comes ♪

♪ She'll be riding
six white horses ♪

♪ She'll be riding
six white horses ♪

♪ She'll be riding six white
horses when she comes... ♪

♪ It's quarter to 3:00 ♪

♪ There's no one in the place ♪

♪ Except for you and me... ♪

♪ Gray skies are
gonna clear up ♪

♪ Put on a happy face... ♪

♪ I'm a little teapot ♪

- ♪ Short and stout ♪
- Mom, get a hold on yourself.

♪ Here is the handle,
here is my spout ♪

♪ When I get all steamed
up, hear me shout ♪

♪ Tip me over and pour me out. ♪

♪ Beat it, beat
it, beat it, beat it ♪

♪ No one likes to
be defeated, ow! ♪

♪ Show me what's funky,
show me what's right ♪

♪ It doesn't... ♪

I'd like to sing
for you, if I might,

uh, a song that's
very special to me,

a song that asks the
musical question...

♪ Where have all
the flowers gone? ♪

Thank you.

♪ Long time passing... ♪

Thank you very much.

♪ Where have all
the flowers gone? ♪

Join me.

♪ Long time ago... ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Mallory ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ And you love me ♪

♪ I can't believe that
you proposed to me ♪

♪ Marry me ♪

♪ Marry me, Mallory. ♪

♪ Birds do it, bees do it ♪

♪ Even educated fleas do it ♪

♪ Let's do it ♪

♪ Let's fall in love. ♪

♪ I got you, babe,
I got you, babe ♪

♪ And when I'm sad ♪

♪ You're a clown ♪

♪ And when I get scared ♪

♪ You're always around... ♪

♪ So, let them say
your hair's too long ♪

♪ I don't care, with you, I... ♪

♪ Love is a many
splendored thing ♪

♪ It's the April rose ♪

♪ That only grows ♪

♪ In the early spring ♪

♪ Love is nature's way ♪

♪ Of giving a reason ♪

♪ To be living... ♪

Kiss me, Dad.

♪ Eddie, my Lo-ove ♪

♪ I love you so-oh ♪

♪ Uh, oh-oh ♪

♪ How I've waited for you ♪

♪ Ooh-we-ooh ♪

♪ You'll never kno-ow ♪

♪ Please, Eddie ♪

♪ Don't make me wait ♪

♪ Too Lo-o-ong. ♪

♪ Swing low ♪

♪ Sweet chariot... ♪

♪ Comin' for to carry me home ♪

♪ Swing low ♪

♪ Sweet chariot ♪

♪ Coming for ♪

♪ To carry me home. ♪

♪ There are places I remember ♪

♪ All my life ♪

♪ Some have changed ♪

♪ Some forever, not for better ♪

♪ Some have gone ♪

♪ And some remain ♪

♪ All these places
have their moments ♪

♪ In my life ♪

♪ I've loved you more. ♪

Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.