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00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:03,868
(funky disco plays)♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
2
00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:06,111
♪ And I am proud to be
3
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,367
♪ Right back in my hometown
4
00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:11,176
♪ With my new family
5
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,348
♪ There's old friendsand new friends
6
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,547
♪ And even a bear
7
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,849
♪ Through good timesand bad times
8
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:19,492
♪ It's true love we share
9
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,687
♪ And so I found a place
10
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,989
♪ Where everyone will know
11
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,231
♪ My happy mustached face
12
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,287
♪ This is The Cleveland Show.♪
13
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,255
(chuckles)
14
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:37,244
Wakey, wakey, sleepy baby.
15
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:39,068
You know what today is?
16
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:41,373
Oh, please, Lord,
let it be the day
17
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,975
you finally see
a damn dentist.
18
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:44,237
Oh, no.
19
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,175
Once was more than enough.
20
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,210
MAN: Mr. Brown,
you need to start flossing.
21
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,815
Here, just gently glide this
piece of floss between your...
22
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,048
(Cleveland screams)
23
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:54,053
(people screaming)
24
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:56,385
It's September 27.
25
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,320
Don't tell me you've
forgotten the anniversary
26
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:01,825
of the single most important
day in my life.
27
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,999
♪
28
00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,268
Oh, honey,
I thought you forgot.
29
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,097
Forgot? Never!
30
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:11,442
For it was exactly
three years ago to the day
31
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:15,209
that I gave up
my lifelong dream of moving to L.A.
32
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,039
and being a scout
for the Dodgers
33
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,954
so that I could stay here
in Stoolbend...
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00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,407
with you.
35
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,015
Fetch my slippers, boo.
36
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:25,348
(angry grunting)
37
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,422
Hey, I've never
seen this picture.
38
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,721
We look so young.
39
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,162
When did we take this?
40
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,590
Well, I'm off to work.
41
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:36,956
Oh, wait a minute.
42
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,704
This isn't what I do
for a living.
43
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,529
Know why?
44
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:44,574
Because three years ago today,
I gave up my dream
45
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:48,212
so that a sad divorce's
two at-risk children
46
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:50,379
could have a chance
at their dreams.
47
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,737
Yeah, right. My dream
is to have a fat man
48
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,706
lie on top of my mom
every night.
49
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:59,115
What I do when your mother
sleeps is my business.
50
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,820
Kids, mama's gonna do
something extremely rash
51
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,992
and spiteful
without considering the consequences
52
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,921
of her actions on her family.
53
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:08,086
(kids cheering)
54
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:10,455
Happy anniversary!
55
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,664
I got you a gift.
56
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:13,996
I'll give you a hint.
57
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:15,901
It's the dream
you gave up for me.
58
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,343
I'm going back
to The Family Guy?
59
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,238
I'm going to be
on The Family Gagain?
60
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,070
No. Look.
61
00:02:21,075 --> 00:02:22,135
(cheering)
62
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,843
(gasps) Donna!
63
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,344
I'm going to L.A.!
64
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:26,846
Bye-bye!
65
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,647
No, we're all going.
66
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,449
I felt so bad about all
you've given up for us,
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00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,152
so I called the Dodgers
and convinced them
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00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:35,354
to hire you as a scout--
don't ask me how--
69
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,416
and I quit our jobs,
pulled the kids from school
70
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,024
and rented the house
to Reverend Jenkins.
71
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:42,086
And because he lay
with an Olive Garden hostess,
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00:02:42,096 --> 00:02:44,796
the reverend was cast
from his home
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00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,968
and forced to live
in this furnished sublet
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00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:50,998
with carpet stains,
which he marked on the contract
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00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:53,765
so he shall receive
his full deposit!
76
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,214
Hallelujah!
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00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:57,779
CLEVELAND:♪ Hollywood...
78
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,108
♪ Dun, dun, dun
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00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:02,083
♪ Hollywood swinging.
80
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:07,787
DONNA: Wow, this is just like
Melrose Place.
81
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,358
The bad original,
not the terrible remake.
82
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,056
Well, since you all
did the packing,
83
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,702
it's probably best
that you do the unpacking.
84
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,028
I am off to the ballpark.
85
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:23,274
Today, I become a "Doyer."
86
00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:26,807
Trust me, we'll be
back in Stoolbend
87
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,737
as soon as Cleveland learns
that being a scout
88
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,242
is nothing like the
romantic fantasy in his head.
89
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,413
Wow. This is exactly like
90
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:38,346
the romantic
fantasy in my head.
91
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,622
(deep inhale)
92
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:44,886
Andre Ethier?
93
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,262
Here you go.
94
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:49,160
Hey, hey, aren't you
a little old to be a rookie?
95
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:51,603
Rookie?
I don't think so, Ethier.
96
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,169
Coming at you, Matt Kemp.
97
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,827
Hey,
he just needs to know if he
98
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,365
should be
worried about his job.
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00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,600
(chuckles) Ow!
100
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,435
Son of a bitch!
I'll sue you!
101
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,040
Get him! Get him!
Get him! Get that fat man
102
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,171
off the field!
Get that fat fool!
103
00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:03,376
(grunts)
104
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:04,777
Damn drunk fans,
105
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,848
always running
on the field during games.
106
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,677
(cheering)
107
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:12,022
But,
Coach, I'm Cleveland Brown, your new scout!
108
00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:14,219
Who?
Oh, yeah, Donna's husband.
109
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,691
Mmm.
110
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,459
Spitball, Donna.
111
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,518
Your office is with
the rest of the scouts.
112
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:20,926
Now, get the hell
out of here!
113
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,358
We got a game to play.
114
00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:24,763
Don't you mean
you've got a game to win?
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00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,095
Eh.
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00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:32,239
(horn honks)
117
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:33,609
(camera shutter snaps)
118
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:42,313
This place is gross.
This place is awesome.
119
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,916
Back home, I barely
have any friends,
120
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:48,618
but in Hollywood,
I'll have super friends.
121
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,122
(horns honk)
122
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,724
(laughs)
123
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,885
He's like Fat Frogger.
124
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,764
Whoa! A dude peeing
on Chuck Berry's star.
125
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,304
(laughs)
Karma.
126
00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,799
Smile.
(camera shutter snaps)
127
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,230
100 bucks for that picture you
just took of Jillian Michaels.
128
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:03,566
(zipper zips)
129
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,300
$100?
130
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:07,666
Just for a picture
of some crappy celebrity?
131
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,935
Hell, yeah!
132
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,612
Congrats, kid.
133
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,181
Come on, you're officially
a member of the paparazzi.
134
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,950
Like on the pizza?
135
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,778
I'm kidding.
136
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:19,694
Like all unsupervised kids,
I watch your show all the time.
137
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,417
(gasps) Mama, stop.
138
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:22,622
(breaks squeal)
139
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:26,463
A real-life, wealthy,
Hollywood high school.
140
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,130
All my life, I thought
141
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:31,458
the CW was lying to me
about these places,
142
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:34,025
but they were
telling the truth.
143
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,844
ROBERTA: There's the
status-obsessed rich girl
144
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,367
who's in love
with the brooding artist.
145
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,543
(gasps)
And there's the math teacher
146
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:44,342
who paid for that
bookish freshman's abortion.
147
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,035
Which means I'm...
148
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:49,606
the new girl who's brought in
to stir things up.
149
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:52,276
Stir that (bleep) up, baby.
150
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:56,961
(child crying)
WOMAN: No, you listen to me.
151
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,657
My little Barron
is turning five,
152
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,629
and we need Wacky Willy
to perform at his party.
153
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:03,158
Do you know who I am?
154
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:05,963
My husband is a mid-level
studio executive.
155
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,166
Wacky Willy!
Wacky Willy!
156
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,838
(screeches)
157
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:10,997
(grunts)
158
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,144
All right, settle down.
159
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:13,309
(grunts)
160
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,967
Oh, hell, no!
161
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,576
(playing
"Old MacDonald Had a Farm")
162
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,078
Hey, you're
good at that.
163
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,824
It's too bad you're
not the most desired
164
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,489
children's entertainer
on the Westside
165
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:30,418
who charges $2,000 for
a half-hour performance.
166
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:32,194
(cash register chimes)
$2,000?!
167
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,492
I want her!
168
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,094
She can play "Old MacDonald."
169
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,325
Of course I can.
I'm Donna.
170
00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:39,331
Old MacDonna.
171
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:41,273
Old MacDonna!
Old MacDonna!
172
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,728
Shh, shh, shh.
I'm playing,
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00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,296
(ball cracks, crowd cheers)
174
00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:49,907
I kind of hoped my office
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00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,110
would be closer
to the stadium.
176
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,952
Well, I hoped
our new scout
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00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,577
would be a talking
pair of breasts.
178
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,022
You're salty.
179
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:59,677
Now, I need you
to log 17,000 hours
180
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,946
of Venezuelan
high school baseball games.
181
00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:05,459
They're on this
computer tablet thingy.
182
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,789
We heard there's one kid
who throws an okay slider.
183
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,285
Kid's last name
is Ramirez
184
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,856
or Hernandez
or something racist.
185
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:15,865
I'm not going to lie to you--
it's mostly audio.
186
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,439
(announcer speaks Spanish
over crackling audio)
187
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:21,939
(bat cracks, rooster crows)
188
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,312
(sparse cheering)
189
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,880
Well, at least
the rooster speaks English.
190
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,679
(whines)
191
00:07:30,149 --> 00:07:33,719
No me gusta scouting.
192
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,890
What's everybody doing
with assorted costumes
193
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,620
and props and such?
194
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,125
I'm a paparazzo.
195
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,987
Tonight, I'm covering
the Teen Mom Choice Awards.
196
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,896
Batman told me
I could hang out with him
197
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:47,468
if I bring him a sandwich
and a change of underwear.
198
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:49,468
I'm about to tell Jenna
and her boyfriend
199
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,770
that they have the same dad
and she and her dad
200
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:53,472
have the same boyfriend.
201
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:55,844
And I'm a children's
entertainer now.
202
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,413
Old MacDonna.
203
00:07:57,411 --> 00:08:00,751
I just booked a birthday party
for Arnold and his maid's kid.
204
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,777
You did?
Oh, baby, to be honest,
205
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,583
I was skeptical
about moving to L.A.,
206
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,945
but look at us all happy
and thriving out here.
207
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,924
Yay. We're all
living our dreams.
208
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,863
None of us cried
all the way home.
209
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,959
I'm going to go be
happy in my room.
210
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:16,231
Hooray! (cries)
211
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,800
(whimpering)
212
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,844
Hey, new neighbor.
I'm Gina.
213
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,339
Hi. My family
just moved here.
214
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:29,982
I am called Cleveland.
215
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:32,177
I am a scout
for the Dodgers.
216
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,809
Oh, I love baseball.
217
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,984
The hitting,
the throwing,
218
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,223
the umpires.
219
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,377
"You're out, Babe Ruth!"
220
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:42,786
I'm an aspiring
actress, obviously.
221
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:44,889
Well, good luck succeeding
in something
222
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,462
that every mildly attractive
former cheerleader
223
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,031
thinks they have a shot at.
224
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,799
Aw, that's
the nicest thing anyone
225
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:54,228
in Los Angeles
has ever said to anyone.
226
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,004
Good luck to you, too.
227
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:58,473
I'm going to need
a lot more than luck.
228
00:08:58,472 --> 00:09:01,242
Turns out my dream job
is way different
229
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,071
than what I thought
it would be.
230
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,206
Well, don't give up
on your dream.
231
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:09,252
Okay! Thank you, wise,
natural-chested neighbor.
232
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,019
(as umpire):
"You're welcome!"
233
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,818
Don't give up
on your dream, either.
234
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:14,990
Or do.
235
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,148
Do.
236
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:21,430
What? You're too good
to take a picture
237
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:23,998
with Catwoman
for five bucks?
238
00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:28,325
Holy shoplifting, Batman!
239
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,365
And right in front
of you guys, no less.
240
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,940
This is going to be epic.
241
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:34,509
Go get 'em, superheroes!
242
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,605
(moans)
243
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:41,884
(grunting)
244
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,422
My heroes have lost their way.
245
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:47,388
The world needs heroes.
246
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,047
The world needs you.
247
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,056
So, who's with me?
248
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,418
Okay.
I'm in.
249
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,956
Sure. Why not?
250
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,191
I don't know how to flush you!
251
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:59,426
Together, we will fight
for justice in L.A.
252
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,373
and beyond!
253
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:05,873
(grunts)
254
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,536
All right, scouts.
255
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:13,905
What do we think of that
high school kid, Nate Schafer?
256
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:16,654
We project his BABIP
to return to his mean,
257
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,620
increasing his WARP by...
Can it, nerd.
258
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:21,749
GINA:
Don't give up on your dream.
259
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:26,285
Gentlemen, I think I have
what you're looking for.
260
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,393
I've discovered some players,
who, with a little polish,
261
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:32,426
I truly believe
could be difference makers.
262
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:33,902
Introducing...
263
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:37,340
Joey Votto, Jimmy Rollins
and David Ortiz.
264
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,297
Hmm?
265
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,736
Hey, good game
last week.
266
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,511
Hi, fellas.
I'm Jimmy Rollins.
267
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,839
(laughing)
268
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,805
Cleveland, you do
know that these guys
269
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,953
are current major-league
players on other teams.
270
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:51,349
I offered them
a billion dollars.
271
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,621
Don't make me look
like an (bleep).
272
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,450
So, there's not
a billion dollars?
273
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,115
Man, I wish you had
told me that,
274
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:59,194
because I just bought
an aircraft carrier.
275
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,262
An aircraft carrier?
(chuckles)
276
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,161
They'll never
take that back.
277
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,963
Next time,
sign the credit card bill with your wrong hand
278
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,625
so you can tell them
it wasn't you.
279
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:07,973
Good one, Joey.
280
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:10,638
Did you know left-handed
pitchers are called southpaws?
281
00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:12,367
Oh, come on!
282
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,112
Cleveland, you
would be so fired
283
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,807
if your wife didn't
still have pictures
284
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,039
of me and Marge Schott
horseplaying in the shower.
285
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,275
Yuck.
286
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,379
And from now on, your
job is to clean up
287
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:24,351
all the horseplaying
mess in the showers.
288
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,381
Hey, as long as
we're in Los Angeles,
289
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,446
want to go visit the
world-famous Tar Pits?
290
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,215
No.
I went yesterday.
291
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,793
It was awesome.
292
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,692
There was an ice cream cart.
Mmm.
293
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:34,994
I'll go.
294
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,195
I'm not riding
with a stranger. Aw.
295
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,797
Every time you get
on an airplane,
296
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:39,899
you're riding
with a stranger.
297
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,030
You don't know the pilot.
298
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,674
That's a good point.
You know what?
299
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:44,139
I don't want to go.
300
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,837
I need to work
on my scouting.
301
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,239
(chuckles)
Ya think? A-doy.
302
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,539
If y'all want to meet my pig,
I wanna hear ya say,
303
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,576
"Suuuweeeee!"
304
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,481
ALL:
Suuuuweeeeeeee!
305
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,923
(pig squeals)
306
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,419
(cheering)
307
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,590
(clanging)
308
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,758
Hey, farmhands,
someone's trying to get
309
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:06,057
Old MacDonna on the ol' horn.
310
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,989
Howdy, partner!
311
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:09,664
Donna, hey.
312
00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:11,833
Just calling you while
walking the ball field,
313
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:14,672
living "la dreama loca."
314
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:16,368
Been scouting
so many guys today,
315
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,599
you'd think I was
in West Hollywood.
316
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:21,365
Sorry, but Old MacDonna
can't chitchat
317
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:24,584
because it's time to put
a piece of straw in my teeth.
318
00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:28,108
(cheering)
319
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,505
(camera shutters snapping,
crowd muttering)
320
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:32,076
Alec. Alec. Alec.
321
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,415
So, my guy calls me
and says, he says,
322
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:38,521
"Megan Fox's plane is touching
down at LAX in an hour."
323
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:41,055
So, you know me,
I says to him, I says,
324
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,531
"Unless her plane's
touching down in 2008,
325
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,730
I'm not interested."
326
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:45,931
(chuckles)
327
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,832
Tyra. Tyra. Tyra.
328
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,370
(moaning sigh)
329
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:54,743
(horn beeps outside)
330
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:57,581
You know what?
You need some cheering up.
331
00:12:57,577 --> 00:13:00,307
I'm going to take you to my
favorite place in Los Angeles.
332
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,253
The house where
Sharon Tate was killed?
333
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:03,479
What? No.
334
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:04,753
Just come with me.
335
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,381
(pigeons cooing)
336
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,616
This is the Grove.
337
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:09,892
(trolley car dings)
338
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:15,260
Wow, it's like a small town
right in the middle of L.A.
339
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,102
It probably reminds you
of back home.
340
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,757
What?!
341
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,725
I-I said it probably
reminds you of back home.
342
00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:22,974
Oh. I thought you
said "black home."
343
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,939
A little pond!
My town has one of those!
344
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:28,669
And a trolley, just like
the one on Main Street
345
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,305
that they shut down after
it crushed four kids!
346
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,911
Ah! A disproportionate
number of Asians!
347
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,814
Just like we fear
in Stoolbend!
348
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,846
Wow, Cleveland, in the three
days I've known you,
349
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:42,022
and the two times I saw you
within those three days,
350
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,922
I've never seen you
this happy.
351
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:46,294
Seems to me your dream
was what you already had.
352
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,663
You should go back
to your small town.
353
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:50,802
And if you like
baseball so much,
354
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,857
why don't you be
a high school baseball coach?
355
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,996
You could get another job
to pay the bills like,
356
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,941
I don't know,
cable installing.
357
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,297
Are you a witch?
358
00:13:58,305 --> 00:13:59,965
What?
You're right.
359
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,843
I need to get my
family black home.
360
00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:05,513
(grunts)
Help!
361
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,582
That man just stole my purse!
362
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,391
Look, uh, I don't want
no horrible-smelling trouble.
363
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,355
(crowd cheering)
364
00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:22,862
Thank you, um...?
365
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:25,503
Call me Juniorman!
366
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,298
And I'm sure we'll be
seeing you again,
367
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,530
as you are old and frail
and are sure to be
368
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,636
repeatedly victimized.
369
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:38,244
Super Friends,
I am so proud of you.
370
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,245
Think of all
the good we've done.
371
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:42,377
Now, from this vantage point,
372
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,852
we can find our next crime
in progress.
373
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,891
(blood-curdling scream,
gunshots)
374
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,417
(chain saw revs, screaming)
375
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,421
Let's go!
Let's go!
376
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,321
(echoing thuds)
377
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:58,560
Hmm, maybe I'm more
of a supervillain.
378
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,200
Sweet Plantains and
Donna Entertains, please hold.
379
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:07,414
Sweet Plantains and Donna
Entertains, please hold.
380
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,581
I'm looking for...
381
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:17,023
Donna, listen,
I don't think L.A. is my bag.
382
00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:19,577
Who the hell are you?!
383
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,916
Howdy, partner.
384
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,291
I'm Old MacDonna.
385
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,019
What the...? Mmm, mmm...
386
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,094
(whimpering)
387
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:28,659
Donna?
388
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,696
Oh, it is you.
389
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,969
But why does everyone
here look like you?
390
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,068
Oh, these are the
Old MacDonnas-in-training.
391
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,270
Now, I can personally work
392
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,741
with the Amy Adamses
of the world,
393
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:40,969
while the B-team
can work with
394
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,214
the Jaime Presslys
of the world.
395
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,978
And the C-team...
396
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,707
can work
with Melissa Rivers.
397
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,582
Melissa Rivers has kids?
398
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,050
Oh, they must be
so small and loud
399
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,820
and living off
their grandmother.
400
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,918
Listen, Donna,
scouting isn't my dream.
401
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:57,661
My dream is the life
I hated back home.
402
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,457
So I've packed up
our apartment,
403
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,929
and we're heading
back toni...
404
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:02,557
What the hell is this?!
405
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,762
Arabica beans?!
406
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,303
I said Kona!
407
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,068
Maybe I should just
move to Burbank, huh?
408
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,497
Is that what you think of me?
I should move to Burbank,
409
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,172
hang out at
Papoo's Hot Dog Show
410
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,741
which is a restaurant
in Burbank?
411
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,609
I don't know how they
ran things down at Ellen,
412
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,007
but that (bleep)
don't fly here.
413
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,909
I'm Old Mac-(bleep)-Donna!
414
00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:20,281
Whoa, Donna, calm down.
415
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,250
Now, tell me
where this Papoo's is.
416
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,618
Look,
Cleveland, I came out here to support your dream.
417
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,987
Now it's your turn
to support mine.
418
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,417
We're staying in L.A.
419
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,361
Now, I got to go
train these idiots.
420
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,417
(blows short note)
All right, idiots,
421
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,355
when is she coming
'round that mountain?
422
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,591
ALL:
When she comes!
423
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:40,996
(playing "She'll Be Coming
'Round the Mountain")
424
00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:48,311
Hey, so how did it
go with Donna?
425
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,038
She doesn't want
to go back.
426
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:51,343
She's turned into some kind
427
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,384
of Katherine Heigl-esque
monster.
428
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,380
Oh, Cleveland, she
can't be that bad.
429
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,552
You're right.
430
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,319
Donna has comedic timing.
431
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:01,518
But she's not the woman
I fell in love with.
432
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,221
(gasps)
What happened to you?
433
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:06,523
Let's just say
the Lily Tomlin nip-slip
434
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,126
was not worth it.
435
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:11,559
Hold up, Rallo.
I'll catch a ride with you.
436
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,234
I'm on my way
to my first all-girl,
437
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,673
teen make-out party
for sweeps week.
438
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:18,368
And I just killed four people.
439
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:22,369
Wow, your whole
family is awful.
440
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,535
But they're not!
441
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,143
I don't know
what's happened to them!
442
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,875
L.A. happened
to them, Cleveland.
443
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,750
And it'll happen
to you, too.
444
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,648
Unless you get out now.
445
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,020
I'm sorry I slapped you.
446
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:33,918
I just came back from
my soap opera class.
447
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,490
Your performance was forced
and unbelievable.
448
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,719
But you've given me...
449
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,826
an idea!
450
00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:46,833
Listen,
pig, you can crash here for the night,
451
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,503
but if you're still here
in the morning,
452
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,831
Junior's going to eat you.
453
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,236
You should leave now.
454
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,067
Hello, family.
455
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,173
Cleveland?
456
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:55,714
Are you in Stoolbend?
457
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,908
Yeah, tried to tell you all
I was leaving,
458
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,381
but you were too busy.
459
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,549
I just couldn't bring myself
460
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:04,278
to miss Mama Franklin's
Peach Pie Bake Off.
461
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,584
We missed Mama Franklin's
Peach Pie Bake Off?
462
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,746
No!
463
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,354
Yup, had three slices.
464
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,585
You sure did, honey.
465
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,191
You're my peach pie.
466
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,693
Oh-ho-ho.
467
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:17,304
And, Rallo, look who wanted
to say hi.
468
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:20,027
Hey, Rallo. Mrs. Lowenstein
announced that today
469
00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:22,373
was bubblegum day and
we were allowed to have
470
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:23,568
bubblegum at school.
471
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,200
And we found a gun.
472
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,465
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
473
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:27,743
What kind of bubblegum?
474
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,370
Oh, and, Donna,
there's a few people
475
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,135
who wanted to say hi to you.
476
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,484
ALL:
Hi, Donna!
477
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:33,609
Aw.
478
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:34,983
See that, Donna?
479
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,451
Back home,
everyone knows your name.
480
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:39,747
Man, what am I doing
481
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,552
wasting my life
chasing celebrities?
482
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,254
I ain't Dr. Drew.
483
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:45,286
Yeah, and they're
making me be friends
484
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,061
with the girl
in the wheelchair.
485
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,990
I killed four people.
486
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:50,555
Well, we got to go.
487
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:52,833
Having a block party
with all our friends.
488
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,072
Don't worry, Cleveland.
489
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,167
I'd love to join you
in the sack race.
490
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,299
What the he...?
491
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,843
Is that the skinny bitch
from the trash cans?
492
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,068
That is me!
493
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:01,913
(gasps)
Someone recognized me!
494
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:04,608
All right, gonna go jump
in the sack with Gina.
495
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,681
Bye-bye.
496
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:06,978
Cleveland, wait.
497
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,780
I just want to go home.
498
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,921
Me, too.
We all do.
499
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,947
I'm clicking my heels.
500
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:16,022
(deep rumbling)
501
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,322
ALL: Earthquake!
(pig squeals)
502
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,094
Damn this city!
503
00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:22,993
Damn it all to hell!
504
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,742
(fanfare music plays)
505
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,540
What's... what's going on?
506
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:38,213
Hollywood magic, Donna.
507
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:41,811
We built a set out of Gina's
surprisingly big apartment.
508
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:44,524
But... but all of our friends
from Stoolbend...
509
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,617
Actors.
510
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:48,988
We even got Tom Hanks
to play Lester.
511
00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:50,448
I like World War Two.
512
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,656
Yeah, we noticed.
513
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:54,958
(latex snapping)
514
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,501
And thanks to the
San Diego Zoo
515
00:19:57,497 --> 00:20:00,357
for providing
"Tim and Arianna."
516
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,966
(ferocious roaring)
517
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,999
Oh, Cleveland, I'm sorry.
518
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,174
I must have lost my mind.
519
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:09,313
I became what I hate
most in the world:
520
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,679
a successful,
entrepreneurial woman.
521
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,378
We got to get the hell
back to Stoolbend.
522
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,850
Thank you for showing me
the light, baby.
523
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,079
Well, don't thank me.
524
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:19,684
Thank "Gina."
525
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:22,646
Or, should I say,
Reese Witherspoon.
526
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:23,745
Thanks, Witchiepoo.
527
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:25,556
I hated your last four movies.
528
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,328
And thank you, Gina,
for helping put this together.
529
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,328
I'm sorry I didn't cast you
as yourself,
530
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:33,260
but your audition just wasn't
where it needed to be.
531
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,166
But look at what you did.
532
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:37,568
You designed the sets,
you wrote the script,
533
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,170
you produced this thing
from top to bottom.
534
00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:42,573
Your future
is behind the camera.
535
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,435
Nah, I just want to be
a famous actor.
536
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,944
Ugh. Let's go home,
Cleveland.
537
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:49,776
There's one thing
I have to do first.
538
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:56,590
(echoing): Today...
I consider Los Angeles...
539
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,119
to be the worst place...
540
00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:02,034
on the face of the Earth.
(crowd cheers)
541
00:21:02,084 --> 00:21:06,634
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