All language subtitles for The Cleveland Show s04e03 A General Thanksgiving.eng

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,671 (funky disco plays) ♪ My name is Cleveland Brown 2 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,971 ♪ And I am proud to be 3 00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:08,143 ♪ Right back in my hometown 4 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:11,112 ♪ With my new family 5 00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:13,152 ♪ There's old friends and new friends ♪ 6 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,447 ♪ And even a bear 7 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,779 ♪ Through good times and bad times ♪ 8 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,275 ♪ It's true love we share 9 00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,516 ♪ And so I found a place 10 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,862 ♪ Where everyone will know 11 00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:26,028 ♪ My happy mustached face 12 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:28,287 ♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪ 13 00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:29,955 (chuckles) 14 00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:32,004 (tires screeching) 15 00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,229 (horns honking) 16 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,503 There's no way, Cleveland! 17 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:39,666 I'll never make it! 18 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,813 You're not missing Thanksgiving, Holt! 19 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:43,309 Sir, I'm gonna need you to... 20 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:44,980 Late for a plane! There's no time! 21 00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:46,349 Late for a plane?! 22 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:48,047 We need backup at Terminal 2. 23 00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:49,949 A passenger is late for a plane. 24 00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:54,315 Out of the way! They're late for a plane! 25 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,191 Swear to God you're not a terrorist? 26 00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:57,860 I swear to Allah. 27 00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,688 Go, go, go! 28 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,193 God, I hope they make it. 29 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,525 (tires screech) 30 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,200 I need to commandeer your vehicle. 31 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,498 Someone's late for a plane! 32 00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:10,766 (gasps) (gasps) 33 00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,907 Are you Mr. Richter? 34 00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:19,910 Oh, my God, I am so sorry, y'all. 35 00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,854 Y'all's flight already went. 36 00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:23,049 I told them to wait. 37 00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,250 We did wait a little while, 38 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,721 but then we didn't know what to do 39 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:28,249 'cause everyone already on the plane wanted to go. 40 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:31,615 I'm so sorry. 41 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:34,725 I'm sorry you won't get to spend Thanksgiving 42 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,128 with your family, Holt. 43 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,230 What?! I wasn't going to see my family. 44 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:40,772 I signed up for the Entourage Thanksgiving in Hollywood. 45 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,868 For 6,000 bucks, Johnny Drama cooks you a Thanksgiving omelet, 46 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,240 then leaves the room so you don't 47 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,798 have to look at him while you eat it. 48 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:47,366 But why didn't you want to be with your family? 49 00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:49,584 Did. Wasn't invited. 50 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,577 Mom has three boyfriends in Florida. 51 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:53,549 Says I cramp her style. I do. 52 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,107 Probably shouldn't call them all "Dad." 53 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:58,446 That's sad. That's sad. 54 00:01:58,452 --> 00:01:59,792 Come on, Holt. 55 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,447 Why don't you buy us all a drink? 56 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,456 This airport is stupid. 57 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,128 There's no bar here! 58 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:08,257 I'm gonna blow this place up! (people gasp) 59 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:12,502 I swear to God, I'm gonna blow this whole place up! 60 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,400 Or we could, uh, just go to The Stool. 61 00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:16,902 All right. 62 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,404 You're all lucky to be alive! 63 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:26,105 Boy, I can't wait to spend Thanksgiving with my fam-- Oh. 64 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:28,113 Don't worry about it, guys. 65 00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:29,075 I'm used to it. 66 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,283 Not close to my family. 67 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:31,624 Haven't been for years. 68 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:32,819 Wish I was. 69 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,350 You know what we need to do? 70 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,745 What, Cleveland? What?! 71 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,656 We need to open a bar at that airport. 72 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:43,159 People need a stiff drink after being gate-raped by the TSA. 73 00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:44,264 You know what? 74 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,925 One of Cleveland's can't-lose schemes 75 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:49,033 is just the kind of thing I need to get me out of my funk. 76 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,036 I'm in. 77 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,197 Oh. 78 00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,505 I guess we could include you, too. 79 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,277 Gus, we have a business proposition for you. 80 00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:59,237 Sorry, guys, I got all the llamas I need. 81 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,882 What majestic creatures. 82 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,485 Yes, you are. 83 00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:07,987 Who's majestic? 84 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,318 You. 85 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,793 You are. 86 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,961 Good majestic llama. 87 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,491 I feed them garbage. 88 00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,156 Okay. 89 00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:21,334 Gus, I want to make a Stool in the airport. 90 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:22,525 Daddy's got business. 91 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,666 That's right. 92 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,701 The Broken Stool Number Two. 93 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,306 If you're willing to assume all the risk, 94 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,179 then we're willing to take time 95 00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,537 from the jobs we never go to to make it happen. 96 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,676 What do you say? 97 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,711 Well, you know, the truth is, 98 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:39,046 I've always wanted to franchise, and I could use the money. 99 00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:42,353 I promised my niece Cheryl I'd put her through college. 100 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,016 Ooh, college. 101 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,264 I'm smart. 102 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,359 President Cheryl. 103 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,090 (laughter) 104 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,225 Yes, I know it's crazy. 105 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:52,101 Count me in, Cleveland. 106 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:58,874 ANNOUNCER: And now back to Mystery Science Magic Johnson Theater 3000. 107 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,612 Damn! 108 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:03,738 The flying saucer just crashed and (bleep), son! 109 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:07,354 Oh, snap, now the alien is all leaving the spaceship, yo! 110 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:08,678 (laughs) 111 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,452 Now he shooting at the alien, kid! 112 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,751 He shooting at him! 113 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,022 Y'all shut up! 114 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,690 I'm trying to watch a movie! 115 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:18,888 ♪ Hark the herald turkeys sing 116 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:22,262 ♪ Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ♪ 117 00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:23,263 Cleveland. Gobble? 118 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:24,804 I need you to watch Rallo today. 119 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,368 (groans): Gobble. 120 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,597 Because it's almost Thanksgiving, that's gobble. 121 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,242 I got to hunt the turkey, shoot it, cut its head off, 122 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:32,768 drain it, gut it, pluck it, stuff it... 123 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,573 All right, I'll watch him. 124 00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,405 But I'm not gonna watch him good. 125 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:39,180 (Rallo screaming) 126 00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:41,383 (whooshing) 127 00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:50,823 (indistinct P.A. announcement) 128 00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:57,799 Ow! 129 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,098 What the hell, Rallo?! 130 00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:01,169 How come you felt that one and not the first four? 131 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,328 What? 132 00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:05,939 One, two, three, four. 133 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,309 (babbling) 134 00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:09,108 Okay, we'll leave that one in there. 135 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,609 Enough of this bull rassum! 136 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:14,281 You need a big boy task that'll keep you busy and over there. 137 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,421 So go help Holt sort through those screws. 138 00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,017 But... Do it and you can have 139 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,748 all the vermouth you want. 140 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:20,953 All right! 141 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,354 I don't know what that is. 142 00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,016 Hey, Rallo. 143 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,324 What's up, little man? 144 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:28,286 Too bummed about Thanksgiving to make a pun about screws. 145 00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:29,525 Eh, screw it. 146 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:33,130 Huh, even at my lowest, I'm funnier than everyone else. 147 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,473 (sighs) 148 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,298 I'll tell you, Rallo, this time of year's the worst for me. 149 00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:40,014 Mom ditches me to go to Florida, never even brings me back 150 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,467 a baby alligator, even though I'd totally take care of it. 151 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:43,936 Ah, who am I kidding? 152 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,314 No baby alligator's gonna love me. 153 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:47,683 You're not a bad little man. 154 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,111 You just need a friend. 155 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,946 I got a friend. C-Bro. 156 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,891 CLEVELAND: He can't even sort the damn screws! 157 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,947 Why don't we get some fresh air. 158 00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:01,864 Come on. Jungle gym always cheers me up. 159 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,862 This is kids' stuff, man. 160 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,234 You call that kids' stuff? 161 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,500 Whoa! 162 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,372 Talk about Parks and Recreation. 163 00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,471 I'd Amy Pole-her. 164 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,343 (groans) 165 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:14,810 Holt Richter. 166 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,338 But you can call me Fred Flintstone. 167 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:17,413 RALLO: Oh, boy. 168 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:20,481 'Cause I can make your bed rock. 169 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:25,051 I don't get your references or anybody's references. 170 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,022 That's my big buddy, Holt. 171 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,020 We watch cartoons together. 172 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,362 He takes care of me 173 00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:33,357 'cause my daddy lights the spoon on fire. 174 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,690 Aw. 175 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:38,395 You know, I judged you way too harshly before. 176 00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:40,429 I'm hot, so I'm a bitch. 177 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:41,574 Here's my number. 178 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,768 I'll see you at 8:00. 179 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:47,211 See? Maybe all you need to take your mind off Thanksgiving 180 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,067 are those breasts and thighs. 181 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,536 Get it? Turkey and lady similarities? 182 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:52,505 Aw, yeah! 183 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,353 When I'm done with her, there's gonna be 184 00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:59,118 plenty of leftovers for, uh... sandwiches. 185 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,549 Anyway, thanks. 186 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,024 How can I repay you? 187 00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,292 With money and things. 188 00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:07,992 Cue the lights! 189 00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:10,959 Cue the beer! 190 00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:14,629 Cue the music! 191 00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,835 ♪ 192 00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,452 Here they come! 193 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,078 (clamoring) 194 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,282 And there they go. 195 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,245 Wha...? What's going on? 196 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:36,563 This is the only place to get alcohol in the entire airport. 197 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:39,757 Why is everybody going into this stupid grape store? 198 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,460 Welcome. 199 00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,462 I drive a very nice car. 200 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:45,564 So we lose the blue state crowd. 201 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,596 We'll be fine. 202 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,800 What's on the other side of us? 203 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,101 "Bier Garten"? 204 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,443 What does that mean? 205 00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:52,568 Sounds German. 206 00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:55,943 All right, I'm gonna start with "garten." 207 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:59,583 Okay, "garten" is... garden. 208 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:00,650 That's fine. 209 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,007 Nothing to worry about there. 210 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,615 Okay, "bier," "bier"... 211 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,448 Oh, it's pronounced "beer." 212 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,993 And it means beer. 213 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,718 Uh, guys. 214 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,597 Boy, are we dumb. 215 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,097 Uhp, other people's money. 216 00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,428 GUS: Hey, fellas. 217 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:22,303 Can't help but notice that there's no one in our bar. 218 00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:23,302 Nope. 219 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,773 Cleveland, six months before 220 00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:27,511 the federal government relocated me to Stoolbend, 221 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:30,378 my dying sister turned to me and said, 222 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,937 "Gus, will you promise me one thing?" 223 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:35,046 And I said, "Anything, Courtney. 224 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,778 "You did, after all, raise me 225 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,283 after Dad killed Mom and then himself." 226 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:42,016 She said, "Gus, promise me 227 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,622 that Cheryl will attend Drake University." 228 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,726 Your sister's name was Courtney?! 229 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,857 "And if anyone gets in the way, 230 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,132 cut off their nose and lips!" 231 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,831 Okay. And you won't be 232 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,803 welcome back at my bar. 233 00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,131 (gasps) But where will we go 234 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,996 when we don't want to talk to our wives?! 235 00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,135 We can't come here; this place sucks. 236 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,810 Make this work, Cleveland. 237 00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,879 Got your nose. 238 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,508 Oh, God! 239 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:07,913 How'd he do that?! 240 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,805 Give it back, give it back! 241 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,586 He means business. 242 00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:19,557 Where's Tim? 243 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:20,930 (whispers): I'm right here. 244 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,158 You look like Rutger Hauer. 245 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,862 Why do you look like Rutger Hauer? 246 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,204 I'm hiding from Gus. 247 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,528 No bear here! 248 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,603 Just a surfer dude from California 249 00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:31,672 that Gus would have no interest in making into a rug. 250 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:33,742 Great. This bar is a failure, 251 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:37,280 Gus is going to kill us, and I got ham'roids like a muh. 252 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:41,047 Boys, we got trouble with a capital... 253 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:43,048 G? 254 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,550 Well, since no one else is gonna be drinking this... 255 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,722 beer me, brah. 256 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:51,521 Although being from L.A., I really prefer, uh, cocaine. 257 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,933 (hip-hop beat playing over stereo) 258 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,959 There you are. What took you so long? 259 00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,095 (car alarm chirps) Sorry, man. 260 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,899 Crossing guard thinks just 'cause I'm black, 261 00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,731 I can't have a scooter this nice. 262 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,266 Look, if you want to keep living large, 263 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,971 you better get your head in the game. 264 00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,213 There's today's target. 265 00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:10,936 Twins, huh? 266 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,144 Probably gonna have to skin a knee. 267 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,906 (snaps fingers) Merry-go-round. 268 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:17,545 When I turn on the waterworks, bring me this. 269 00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:20,091 Time for me to get paid. 270 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,917 And me to get laid. 271 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,392 Uh, by women. 272 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,220 ♪ 273 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:28,385 ♪ We've got an arrangement, it works like a charm ♪ 274 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,395 ♪ He puts toys in my room 275 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:33,057 ♪ I put girls on his arm 276 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,566 ♪ He gets me chicks 277 00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,598 ♪ He writes me checks 278 00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:39,103 ♪ I'm paying a young boy for sex ♪ 279 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,236 Uh, I don't think... 280 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,740 ♪ Who knew I could bag a babe ♪ 281 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:43,942 ♪ That's not a blow-up doll? 282 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:47,914 ♪ All you had to do was buy me half of the mall ♪ 283 00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,814 ♪ I scored a D-cup 284 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,946 ♪ I scored a T-rex 285 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,992 ♪ I'm paying a five-year-old for sex ♪ 286 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,617 Seriously, man, that sounds... 287 00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:57,162 I love kids so much. 288 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,257 I can't wait to have one of my own. 289 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,629 (gasps) Me, too. 290 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,958 That's why I love being a Big Brother to Rallo. 291 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:06,604 I get to rediscover the world through a child's eyes. 292 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,630 That's so sweet. 293 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,436 I mean, I guess I'm supposed to be teaching him, 294 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,839 but really, he's teaching me. 295 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,571 ALL: Aw! 296 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:22,177 ♪ Don't need no roofies with a wingboy this nice ♪ 297 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,982 ♪ I'll help you seal the deal for the right Fisher-Price ♪ 298 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,346 ♪ He's ABC's 299 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,124 ♪ He's triple X 300 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:31,692 ♪ I'm using this young boy's face for sex ♪ 301 00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,832 Okay, that sounds the worst. 302 00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:36,257 ♪ Paying a young boy for sex. 303 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:41,304 Say, that's catchy. 304 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:44,171 This place is deader than Lil Wayne 305 00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,141 before his 30th birthday. 306 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,669 Want to call it? It's nice out. 307 00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,174 Let's hang for a little bit. 308 00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:51,006 All right. Give me another push. 309 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,181 Higher. 310 00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:54,109 Higher. 311 00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:56,351 Higher! 312 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,379 Whee! 313 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,054 Aah, too high! Too high! 314 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,192 Ah, there you go. 315 00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:03,047 Hey, why don't you hop in and give it a go? 316 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,486 Oh, no. No, I... I can't. 317 00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:09,555 I... I don't know how to swing, Rallo. 318 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,403 What? How come? 319 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,698 Never learned. 320 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,529 Mom said swinging was too dangerous. 321 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,204 Dad was always too busy. 322 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,073 Cat's in the cradle, silver spoon. 323 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,041 Ricky Schroder. Then Rick Schroder. 324 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,410 Now back to Ricky Schroder. 325 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,168 My dad's busy a lot, too. 326 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,006 When's the last time you saw yours? 327 00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,441 Man, it's been months. 328 00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,076 What is it, November? 329 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,721 Yeah, it's been 154 months. 330 00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,877 Well, I taught myself how to swing, 331 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,386 and I can teach you, too. 332 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:37,417 All you got to do is kick your legs forward. 333 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,294 Now tuck them when you go back. 334 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,592 See? Kick and tuck. 335 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,855 Kick and tuck. 336 00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,964 Don't let me go. 337 00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,670 I think I'm getting it. 338 00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:54,771 I've got it! You can let go of me. 339 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,565 I already did. 340 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,076 I'm swinging! I'm swinging! 341 00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,708 Look at me, every daddy! 342 00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:01,213 I mean, everybody. 343 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,584 (chuckles) Why did I say "daddy"? 344 00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:03,752 Don't care about him. 345 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,150 Just like he didn't care about me. 346 00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:06,652 I-I mean, whee! 347 00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,288 Oh, what a night. 348 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:14,261 I totally forgot that we're all screwed. 349 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,131 We should get drunk on the tarmac 350 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,299 like this more often, 351 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,898 like every single pilot for every single airline, 352 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,242 without exception, allegedly. 353 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,267 I'm surprised no one tried to stop us 354 00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:29,373 when we built our lost luggage burning man. 355 00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:35,075 Ain't nobody here but the beer. 356 00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,821 It's Thanksgiving Day. 357 00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:39,277 Everyone's gone where they was going. 358 00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,716 Nobody's flying these planes today. 359 00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:45,355 Hey, they left the keys in this one. 360 00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:50,757 You're not supposed to fly drunk, Cleveland! 361 00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:53,364 Not drunk-- just had beer. 362 00:13:57,303 --> 00:13:59,173 How hard could flying be? 363 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,772 Worst case scenario, I hit a goose, 364 00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:04,275 land in a river, I'm a hero. 365 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,477 Clevey Clevenburger. 366 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,209 I like the sound of that. 367 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:12,276 Adios, Thanksgiving turkeys. 368 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:16,045 Have fun getting murdered by Gus. 369 00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:20,293 Does he, uh, know how to land that thing? 370 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:21,863 Sure. He used to be a pilot. 371 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,192 I think that was Quagmire. 372 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,556 Oh. 373 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,304 Well, at least he's going to die 374 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:29,399 doing what he loves-- burning in a fireball. 375 00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:36,414 I got to thank you, Rallo. 376 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,339 Banging chicks, hanging out, watching TV, 377 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,205 drinking chocolate milk with a five-year-old-- 378 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,553 this Thanksgiving's been pretty sick. 379 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:42,848 (doorbell rings) 380 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:45,919 Well, it's about to get even sicker. 381 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,189 Holt. 382 00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:49,148 Dad! 383 00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:51,555 What did you call me, maggot? 384 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,018 General Richter, sir! 385 00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,356 That's right, maggot. 386 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,531 Now, who's this maggot here? 387 00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:56,998 I'm Rallo. 388 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,527 So you're the maggot who called me. 389 00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:02,071 Always good to put a maggot's face to a maggot's name. 390 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,868 Now, both of you maggots drop and give me 20. 391 00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,041 20 push-ups? 392 00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,339 For what? 393 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,070 For being maggots. 394 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,835 Thanks for ruining my first good Thanksgiving. 395 00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:13,505 I take it we won't be hitting 396 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,853 the stores together on Black Friday? 397 00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:17,519 I don't know your holidays. 398 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:25,064 So you one of those classic hard-ass, 399 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:27,088 tough-guy generals who are more comfortable 400 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,693 barking orders than they are with emotions? 401 00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:32,196 You're damn right I am, you pathetic little panda turd! 402 00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:34,568 Now, drop and give me 20. 403 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,867 Yeah, this is going to be a good Thanksgiving. 404 00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:40,941 And as for you, you limp-wristed panty model, 405 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,241 where is this oil you struck? 406 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,743 You told him about my limp-wristed panty modeling? 407 00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,645 When you're 60, you'll look back 408 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,477 and be glad you got those pictures. 409 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:50,982 I didn't strike any oil, sir. 410 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,124 My friend just said that to get you here. 411 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,819 I left an unwinnable war 412 00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:57,121 to come see my son for no reason?! 413 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,993 Good-bye, Holt. 414 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,632 Tell your mother I still don't forgive her 415 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:01,927 for cheating on me. 416 00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:04,658 And she owes me 20 push-ups. 417 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,404 Good-bye, sir. 418 00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:09,899 General Richter, sir. 419 00:16:09,903 --> 00:16:12,273 Would you accept a thank-you for fighting them there 420 00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,012 so we don't have to fight them here 421 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,307 by joining my family for Thanksgiving? 422 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,779 Rallo, I don't think that's... 423 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:18,837 Shut your meat hole! 424 00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,605 Why, I'd be honored to spend Thanksgiving 425 00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,113 with a young patriot like yourself. 426 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,945 I bought this wine from some fart sniffer at the airport. 427 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,221 I'll bring it. 428 00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:32,455 (imitating jet engine) 429 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,529 (imitating machine gun fire) 430 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:37,027 Take that, Red Baron. 431 00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,160 (giggles) 432 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,834 Oh, what's this thing going on? 433 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:40,973 (rapid beeping) 434 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:42,697 All right, I hear you. 435 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,302 This autopilot's pretty sweet. 436 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:48,505 Auto land. 437 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,968 (clears throat) 438 00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,406 Auto land. 439 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,279 (bleep) 440 00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:59,545 Is Beetle Bailey as lazy as he seems? 441 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:01,552 Well, I'm afraid that's classified, son. 442 00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:02,724 Whoa. 443 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,822 News anchor Dwayne Meighan just tweeted, 444 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:08,534 "It had had been there was plane on the sky 445 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,898 "had flied itself, but update had said not so. 446 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,198 "Man fly plane name of Cleveland. 447 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,800 He in there. Crash soon." 448 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:20,003 Oh, wait, no, he was just re-tweeting Gary Busey. 449 00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:21,566 Oh, my God! Cleveland! 450 00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:24,884 I wondered why he wasn't here at Thanksgiving dinner. 451 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,308 Oh, yeah. 452 00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,052 Someone's got to save my daddy! 453 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:30,208 And get a move on those sweet potatoes. 454 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,376 I'll handle this. 455 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,085 Hot plate! Hot plate! 456 00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,417 Now, follow me to the airport. 457 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,292 There's not a second to lose. 458 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,362 19, 20. 459 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,031 Listen up, maggot people. 460 00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,329 Here's what's going to happen. 461 00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:45,760 We're going to fly up there 462 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,095 and dangle someone from a rope 463 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,730 down to the other plane, 464 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,435 just like catching a fish. 465 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,897 Now, which one of you maggots 466 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:55,036 wants to graduate to worm? 467 00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,571 Do it, Holt. 468 00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,883 Holt Ann Richter, reporting for duty. 469 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:03,009 You? They won't even let you ride a roller coaster. 470 00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:05,516 Some places do. 471 00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:13,262 As soon as you clip the African-Ameri-maggot 472 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:16,089 to your harness, I'll pull you both back up. 473 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,796 I was born ready! 474 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,257 What? Sorry. 475 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,465 Thought you asked if I was ready. 476 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,768 It's really loud in here. 477 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,809 (alarm blaring) 478 00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:32,109 This isn't funny like Airplane. 479 00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:35,452 It's a disaster like Airplane II! 480 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,454 What? 481 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,523 I'm here to rescue you. 482 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:47,056 Dad, you've got to get me closer! 483 00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,960 Well, that's as close as I can get! 484 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,162 He's kicking up too much tailwind. 485 00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,604 Mission over. 486 00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:54,099 I'm pulling you back up. 487 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,130 No, Dad. 488 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,695 I can do this. 489 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,313 He's doing it. 490 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,411 He's swinging. 491 00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:07,752 How can you see that far? 492 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,777 I'm not seeing it with these. 493 00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,022 I'm seeing it with this. 494 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:15,118 Kick and tuck. 495 00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:20,791 BOTH: Kick and tuck. Kick and tuck. 496 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,093 Kick and tuck! 497 00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:24,426 (alarm blaring) 498 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,911 Sorry. Sorry. 499 00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:42,178 Well, fellas, we had a good run. 500 00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,182 (screams) 501 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,683 Oh, not my nose! 502 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,384 Take my ugly ears. 503 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,446 Relax, Cleveland and other guys. 504 00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:51,524 Lucky for you, Cheryl passed away last night. 505 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,124 Oh, thank God. 506 00:19:53,126 --> 00:19:54,556 So you're off the hook. 507 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:57,361 What do you think of your son now, General Richter? 508 00:19:57,363 --> 00:20:00,203 He swung on a rope like a maggot. 509 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,200 You know what? You're a maggot. 510 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,202 (gasps) 511 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,543 I am a human being. 512 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:08,238 Look, your son just did 120 push-ups 513 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,971 and saved a man's life. 514 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,206 Where I come from, that means something. 515 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,182 That's enough. What's your problem? 516 00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,050 You want to know what my problem is? 517 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,219 I'll tell you what my problem is! 518 00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:21,688 My son couldn't follow in my footsteps! 519 00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,818 Why? You've got to be 520 00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,393 five feet tall to join the Army. 521 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,032 Five-foot-two in heels. 522 00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:29,057 Not helping. 523 00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,702 You're just like your mother-- 524 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:33,127 short and useless. 525 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,696 You want to know something, Dad? 526 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,202 I'm proud to be short. 527 00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:39,903 I get to buy my clothes in the tweens section, 528 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,166 which keeps me hip. 529 00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:42,444 I'm always on my tiptoes, 530 00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,082 which gives me great calves. 531 00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,537 And, General, my tiny hands 532 00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:49,076 make my privates look huge, 533 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:52,052 which they are not. 534 00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:54,251 Good-bye, General. 535 00:20:54,301 --> 00:20:58,851 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36675

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