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1
00:00:04,971 --> 00:00:07,011
It's freezing out here.
2
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:08,138
I don't even know why
3
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,442
Osama bin Laden was
at Jesus' birthday.
4
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,344
You're a wise
man, dummy.
5
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,146
Freeze. Here
comes a car!
6
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,118
MAN:
Jesus was white!
7
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,247
Ow!
8
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:20,251
I'm starting to think
only jerks drive Camaros.
9
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:21,924
Cleveland, my buzz
is wearing off,
10
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,522
and now I don't know why
I agreed to this.
11
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,755
We're going inside.
12
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:26,960
Wait!
13
00:00:26,961 --> 00:00:28,691
Let us pass our
mangering time
14
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,926
with a wonderful
Christmas story.
15
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,201
Oh, Lord.
16
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:35,099
This best not start with,
"The year was 1988."
17
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:37,172
The year was 1988...
18
00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:39,644
♪
19
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,710
(gunshots)
20
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,113
(tires screeching)
21
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:49,346
(thudding)
22
00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:52,353
(tires squeak)
23
00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:57,091
What's wrong,
fellow traveler?
24
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,961
You look nervous.
25
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:00,859
This is our first parody.
26
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:02,191
Ah.
27
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,956
You want to know the
secret to a good parody?
28
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,765
When you get to
your destination,
29
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,127
take off your
shoes and socks
30
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:11,536
and make fists
with your toes.
31
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:12,439
Okay.
32
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,110
Now, you can help me.
33
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:16,708
Am I allowed to
call it a sandwich
34
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:19,380
if I eat three pieces of
bread stacked together?
35
00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:21,310
You talking
about a bread sandwich?!
36
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,275
(chuckles)
I suppose I am.
37
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:24,324
Yeah, man, little mayo...
38
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,988
(bell dings, crowd chatter)
39
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:30,288
It's okay.
I'm not a cop.
40
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:33,031
And if you went to the bathroom
one more time,
41
00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:34,127
I was gonna shoot you.
42
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:37,258
I have a too-small
colostomy bag.
43
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,334
That's nasty.
44
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,630
(men laughing giddily)
45
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,095
Ah! I've
missed you so.
46
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,304
Oh.
47
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,665
I know.
48
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,443
Hmm. California.
49
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,771
RALLO:
You Brown?
50
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,036
I'm Rallo.
51
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:51,444
People call me Argyle.
52
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,105
Aren't you a little young
to be a limo driver?
53
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:56,545
Aren't you a little old
to be an action hero?
54
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,720
Ha. Good banter.
55
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:02,993
So my wife got
this great job out here
56
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,960
with Waterman International.
57
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,529
(whistles)
58
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,288
She must make
more than you.
59
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:12,256
Mm-hmm. That's what we've been
fighting on account of.
60
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,826
Have mercy.
61
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,834
Although I do take some comfort
62
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,466
in knowing she still makes less
63
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,941
than a man would
for doing the same job.
64
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,040
(laughs)
65
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,982
I think tonight's
Christmas party
66
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,348
might be my chance
to make it up to her.
67
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:28,447
Lord gonna set
it straight.
68
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:30,579
Are you even listening
to anything I'm saying?
69
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,584
(whistles)
70
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,546
Have mercy.
71
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:43,531
(classical music plays,
crowd chatter)
72
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,325
(elevatorbell dings)
73
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,942
You must be Cleveland.
74
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,968
You're gonna die.
75
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:56,043
(tires squealing)
76
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,113
(whoosh)
77
00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:03,054
(thudding)
78
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,080
I've fallen,
and I can't get up.
79
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,615
(laughter)
80
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,450
Ha! Like that old
lady in the commercial
81
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,615
that we all just saw
for the first time
82
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:11,964
because it's 1988!
83
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:12,989
(chuckles)
84
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:15,293
That reference
will never get old.
85
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:18,656
Come on, terrorists and guy
who looks like Huey Lewis.
86
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,296
Let's take over this building.
87
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:24,801
Dudes, I really have fallen,
and I can't get up.
88
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,965
Boy, that joke
got old quick.
89
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:27,974
Holt.
90
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:30,005
Hold on. I'm almost finished.
91
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,080
(loud snorting)
92
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:36,083
(snorting continues)
93
00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,921
(shouts gibberish)
94
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,494
This is Cleveland Brown,
Donna's husband.
95
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:47,993
Hi.
96
00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:49,185
You're also
gonna die.
97
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,426
Yeah!
98
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:51,931
Hey, bud,
you want a line?
99
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,472
It's something new
called cocaine.
100
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:54,667
DONNA:
Cleveland,
101
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,098
you made it!
102
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,543
Let's give Miss Tubbs
some privacy.
103
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,809
Tubbs. Crockett.
Sprockets.
104
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:01,968
(with German accent):
Now we dance.
105
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:03,176
Oops, '90s.
106
00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:04,937
I'm so high right now.
107
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:05,975
Drip!
108
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:08,010
Why aren't you using
my last name?
109
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,245
No one likes working with
a married woman, Cleveland.
110
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:11,851
No one.
111
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,452
I'm just glad
you're here now.
112
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,824
One sec.
113
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,022
Some stranger told me
to take my shoes off.
114
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,864
Do you mind?
115
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,989
I've been doing
a lot of thinking
116
00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:23,655
since we've been apart,
and I realized,
117
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:28,104
all I want for Christmas
is my two front us.
118
00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:29,132
Cleveland!
119
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,796
Shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.
120
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:35,765
Look, we're under
the mistletoe.
121
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,836
Cleveland, you haven't
changed a bit.
122
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,905
(crowd chatter,
elevator bell dings)
123
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,294
(screams and yells)
Hi. We're the bad guys.
124
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:50,087
Uh, tell me, which one of
you is CEO Lloyd Waterman?
125
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,685
I'm Lloyd
Waterman.
126
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:00,395
Bitch.
127
00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:03,341
Hmm.
128
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,267
I bet I could.
129
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,142
(cooing)
130
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,341
Hee-hee!
131
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:09,982
Aw, now I ain't got no shoes.
132
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,977
(rapid gunfire,
screams, man yelling)
133
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,149
COOKIE:
Oh, God, terrorists!
134
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,948
Terrorists? Oh, no!
135
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,379
Aah!
136
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,093
MR. WATERMAN:
There's no way
137
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,920
I'm giving you the
codes to the vault.
138
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,955
And I don't care what
unspeakable things
139
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,561
this brawny beefcake
does to my body!
140
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:39,265
Mr. Waterman, I'm going
to, uh, count to three.
141
00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:41,213
(like The Count
on SesamStreet): One. Ha-ha-ha.
142
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,278
Two. Ha-ha-ha.
143
00:05:43,277 --> 00:05:44,307
Three.
144
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:45,511
(thudding)
Oh.
145
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,982
CLEVELAND:
Not the kind of shot
146
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,980
in the face he wanted.
147
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:49,952
What was that?
148
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,150
CLEVELAND:
Ice machine.
149
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:54,691
Kendra, go check out that
wisecracking ice machine.
150
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,918
I hope it's next
to a vending machine,
151
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:58,264
'cause I'm...
152
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,758
(high-pitched):
huge!
153
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,561
(wheelchair whirring)
154
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,931
(power saw revving)
155
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:11,095
(blade clinking)
156
00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:12,935
Ice to meet you!
157
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:15,040
Yah!
158
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:18,042
(grunting)
159
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,983
(Kendra yelping,
Cleveland grunting)
160
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,423
(neck snapping)
161
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,248
(bones clicking)
162
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:29,423
I never was an
ice machine.
163
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:30,663
(thudding)
164
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:31,987
Guys, since it looks like
165
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,032
we're not going anywhere
for a while,
166
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,427
we might as well have
our Christmas gift exchange.
167
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,030
Who's got number one?
168
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:41,601
I have number one, but
I got to go number two,
169
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:42,802
'cause I'm...
170
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,003
(farts)
171
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,774
...outrageous!
172
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,443
(laughter)
173
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,041
Hmm. Cutty Sark.
174
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,112
This alcohol's gonna give me
loose lips,
175
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,951
and y'all know they ain't
too tight to start with.
176
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,207
(farts)
177
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:58,015
I'm outrageous!
178
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:58,978
(elevator bell dings)
179
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,046
(gasps)
Kendra!
180
00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:06,829
I guess she's eating
in a better place now.
181
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,987
Bye, Fatso.
182
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,626
CLEVELAND (over radio):
Mayday! Mayday!
183
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,661
Bad guys have taken over
the Waterman tower!
184
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,666
They're foreign, but not Arab,
185
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:17,268
because they're not
the go-to bad guys yet.
186
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:18,001
(rapid gunfire)
187
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,035
That sounds serious.
188
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,710
I'll put in a call to
a cop who shot a kid.
189
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,379
Junior, this is the hot girl
190
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:26,208
who shouldn't be stuck
in dispatch.
191
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,983
We need you to investigate
possible gunfire
192
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,152
at the Waterman Building.
193
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,650
Okay.
194
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,452
♪ Twinkie, Twinkie,
little snack ♪
195
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:36,154
♪ Wonder how you'd taste
with cheese. ♪
196
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:37,416
Mmm.
197
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,526
(rapid gunfire continues)
198
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,629
(bullets ricocheting)
199
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:49,032
Oh, my God, I'm the first
rapper to get shot!
200
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:51,236
I bet this becomes a thing.
201
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,936
(bullets ricocheting,
rapid gunfire continues)
202
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:10,415
"This strap can hold up
to 200 pounds."
203
00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:12,494
I'll be fine then.
204
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:16,461
(strap snapping, yelling)
205
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,163
I'm fatter than I said!
206
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:24,144
Phew!
207
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,137
Finger curls paying off.
208
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,509
(grunting)
209
00:08:30,109 --> 00:08:32,179
(brakes squeak)
210
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:37,480
Excuse me, guy who
looks like Huey Lewis,
211
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:39,924
but are there terrorists
shooting guns here?
212
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,950
No, no one's here at all.
213
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,115
As a cop on Christmas,
that's all I need to hear.
214
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,325
I shot a kid.
215
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,001
Where are you going?!
216
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:52,997
Oh, I've got
to get his attention.
217
00:08:53,766 --> 00:08:55,826
(sighs)
218
00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:00,137
Sorry. Sorry.
219
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,810
(screams)
220
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,378
(tires squealing)
221
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,378
(whimpering)
222
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,611
(yelling, tires squealing)
223
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:10,846
Oh!
224
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:14,021
Welcome to the party over here,
pal!
225
00:09:20,192 --> 00:09:22,462
CLEVELAND:
Hello? Bad guys?
226
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:24,862
Oh, the mystery man.
227
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,295
So, who are you?
228
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:27,800
Just another American
229
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,471
who watched too many
TV mysteries as a child?
230
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,000
Who do you think you are?
231
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,765
Magnum P.U.
or MacMillan and Loaf,
232
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,635
or Murder She Float,
or Simon and Semen?
233
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:41,784
I've always been partial
to cartoon dogs.
234
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:45,452
Scooby Dooby Doo, (beep).
235
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:47,452
I'm sorry, we
didn't catch that.
236
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,794
There was a long beep at the end
of your sentence.
237
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,620
Where are you,
so we can come kill you?
238
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:52,915
I'll never tell.
239
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,086
Bye-bye.
240
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,094
All right, where am I?
241
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,826
Ah, 34th floor.
242
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,431
Northeast corner.
243
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,333
Under the exit sign.
244
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:03,835
12 paces to the left
of the elevator.
245
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,297
Oops. Thumb's still
on the button.
246
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,965
Uh... I mean, I'm on...
247
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,975
Planet 34th Floor.
248
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:14,848
Hmm. They gonna be looking
all over space.
249
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,817
Hello?
250
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,850
Where the Pac-Man at?
251
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,923
(beeps, whirring)
252
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,786
I'm in!
253
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,664
I wonder if I could use this
to make a woman.
254
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:31,934
♪
255
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,002
DONNA:
Number 13.
256
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,171
Ooh, that's me!
257
00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:39,169
A sleeve of Dunlaps.
258
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,672
That's hilarious.
259
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,114
Big box, small gift.
260
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,879
I've never seen that before.
261
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:44,977
Who did this?
262
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,038
(singsong):
Hoo-hoo.
263
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,006
(laughs)
264
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,014
(people gasp)
265
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:51,415
Looks like I got a hole in one.
266
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:52,578
(laughs)
267
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:54,016
Nailed it.
268
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:58,094
If the person who called in
the emergency can hear me,
269
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,261
please respond.
270
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,129
That's me.
271
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,627
I shot a kid.
272
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,498
Oh.
How you holding up?
273
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:06,127
I'm feeling pretty
unappreciated.
274
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,103
Well, I love you.
275
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,371
Whoa, easy, banana pants.
276
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,369
(elevator bell dings)
277
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,870
Uhp, talk to you later.
278
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,342
(whispers):
I love you, too.
279
00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:19,677
Freeze, bear.
280
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,680
(American accent):
Oh, no, you're one of them!
281
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:22,712
Please don't kill me!
282
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:23,946
Hey, hey, relax.
283
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:25,250
What are you doing up here?
284
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:29,492
Yeah, the party was a real,
uh, snausage-fest.
285
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,619
Weirdly put, American friend.
286
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:32,915
What's your name?
287
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,686
Poop.
288
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,055
Dick Poop.
289
00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:46,297
You've got bare feet.
290
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:49,006
You've got bear feet.
291
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:50,879
(both laugh)
292
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,937
You want to stay
alive, stay with me.
293
00:11:58,084 --> 00:12:00,194
(normal voice):
We're on the 26th floor.
294
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:03,657
Oh, you're the terrorist!
295
00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:05,487
What other voices do you do?
296
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:06,992
Do George Washington.
297
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,793
(American accent):
Martha, where are my teeth?
298
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,025
Ha! Could've been.
299
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,330
(elevator bell dings)
300
00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:13,504
(yells)
301
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,030
(screams)
302
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,789
Lester, shoot the glass!
303
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:37,788
But he ain't wearing no shoes!
304
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,521
(sighs)
That is the point.
305
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:42,056
Oh!
306
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:47,125
Come on, guys!
307
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,204
Stop shooting the glass!
308
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,141
Son of a bitch got away.
309
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,605
(groans)
310
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,114
Yah!
311
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,945
(grunting)
312
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,421
Uhp. Need that.
313
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,419
(grunts)
314
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,190
Okay, let's go.
315
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:10,919
(screams)
316
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,364
Screw it.
I'm leaving it in.
317
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,359
Ow.
318
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,360
Ow.
319
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:15,361
Ow.
320
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:16,362
Ow.
321
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,633
I'm Agent Johnson,
322
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:20,202
this is
Special Agent Johnson.
323
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,530
No relation.
324
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:22,965
My family owned his.
325
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,039
Now which one of you
limp-wristed pickle-smoochers
326
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,438
do I have to talk to about
getting the power shut off?
327
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,940
Right here, sugar.
328
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,013
Shut it down.
329
00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:39,052
Aw, my buttery popcorn.
330
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,750
All right, looks like
331
00:13:42,756 --> 00:13:45,316
we're gonna have to do this
the hard way.
332
00:13:47,459 --> 00:13:49,089
(alarm buzzes)
333
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,333
(laughs):
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
334
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,172
Merry Chrismo.
335
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,167
Ow.
336
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,168
Ow.
337
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,369
Ow.
338
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,100
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Emergency lighting activated.
339
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,105
Junior, what's going on
out there?
340
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,967
The FBI cut the power.
341
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,106
I'm starting to get nervous.
342
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:07,381
If I die, I need you
to do something.
343
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,150
What's that?
344
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:09,878
Behind my dresser,
345
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,453
there are some magazines called
346
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,691
Cross-Eyed OrientalStreet Girls.
347
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,987
I need you to get them
out of my house.
348
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,089
But don't look at them
or you'll find yourself
349
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,661
staring down every girl
in Chinatown.
350
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,490
And they'll know why.
351
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,925
And most of them
won't be cool with it.
352
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,661
But the ones that are,
353
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:31,866
they will
work... you... out... Jack!
354
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,912
(doorbell rings)
355
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,174
No.
356
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:39,836
Um, we are here to, um,
interview the, um, daughter
357
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:43,046
of Cleveland
and, um, Donna Tubbs.
358
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,649
No, she-she no
want interview.
359
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:48,252
Um, but we have
information that she...
360
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:49,985
No. No interview.
361
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:50,990
...would be, um...
362
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:51,961
No, no.
363
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:52,958
...here.
364
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:53,959
No.
365
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,790
Um...
No.
366
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:56,955
♪ Um...
367
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,033
No.
368
00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,331
I.N.S.?
369
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,073
No.
370
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:06,868
TIM (over walkie-talkie):
Scooby-Doo?
371
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,313
Uh, where are you?
372
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,378
(imitates Scooby-Doo):
Rover here!
373
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:13,137
Ha! But your real name
is Cleveland Brown.
374
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:15,806
I know because I have
a friend of yours here.
375
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:18,015
Oh, please be
pre-AIDS Magic Johnson.
376
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,078
Cleve-bro?
377
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,646
Holt, what are you doing?
378
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:22,985
Relax.
379
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:25,519
I told them we started a bar
way down in Kokomo.
380
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,655
Ah, that would be a dream.
381
00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:30,461
Hey, you didn't tell them I'm
married to Donna Tubbs, right?
382
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:31,863
No way.
383
00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:33,925
Good. Because then
they'd shoot you in the head.
384
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:34,934
(gunshot)
385
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:35,995
Uhp. He gone.
386
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:37,542
Good-bye, Kokomo.
387
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:44,076
I knew you knew someone
at the party.
388
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:46,677
(people screaming)
389
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,350
Hey, Bonnie Brown-delia.
390
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,948
Let's say you and me
head down to the vault
391
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:53,021
and see if we're
the right combination.
392
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:55,249
Tim, I'm right here.
393
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:56,515
Of course you are.
394
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:57,663
You're everywhere.
395
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,157
Mm.
396
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,759
This town's dirty.
397
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:01,990
I don't like it.
398
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,825
You killed my wife.
399
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,260
Time to die.
400
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,495
That stinky pig blob
was your wife?
401
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,770
Yes!
402
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:10,698
You'll save money
on hamburgers now.
403
00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:11,804
(clicks tongue)
404
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,505
And now here's some savings
for you.
405
00:16:17,843 --> 00:16:19,043
Are we back?
406
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,246
Where's my wife?
407
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,755
I'll never tell!
408
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:34,358
How 'bout now that
you're seconds older
409
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:35,861
and you have
more perspective?
410
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,132
All right, then.
411
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,860
They took all them hostages
to the roof,
412
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:40,155
and they's gonna blow 'em up.
413
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,826
That was very
mature of you.
414
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,125
Thank you.
415
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,596
Bye-bye.
416
00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:50,037
(screams)
417
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:51,543
Doink.
418
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:54,912
Man, I love killing.
419
00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:00,247
Number 46?
420
00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:02,093
Also deceased.
421
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,248
Forty-seven.
422
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,586
Praise the Lord!
423
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,031
Now, I could tell you
about Noah's Ark,
424
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,657
but tonight
I'm 'bout the Cutty Sark!
425
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:10,862
Where's Donna?
426
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,034
Check it out.
427
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,002
Jewel of the Nile.
428
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,100
They took her
to the vault downstairs.
429
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:18,042
Okay, everybody off the roof!
430
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:21,868
What is causing all this smog?
431
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,535
Get out of here, smog!
432
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,883
Die! Die! Die!
433
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:28,709
(sobbing)
434
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,552
That's a terrorist.
435
00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:39,992
This is what this was all about?
436
00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:41,193
Stealing a TV?
437
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,934
Not just a TV.
438
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,359
The world's largest TV.
439
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:47,025
27 inches.
440
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:49,473
(whistles)
441
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,439
The hostages are
coming back down.
442
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,538
Did the fart lady
keep the Cutty Sark?
443
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,540
Oh, forget it. Blow the roof.
444
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:08,451
Say, good night,
nancy boy.
445
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,085
There's no way
he heard you.
446
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:19,703
(flatly):
Ah...
447
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:21,572
(all gasp)
448
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:46,187
No, no, no, no, no, no!
449
00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:49,993
(panting)
450
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:59,471
Tim...!
451
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,942
Okay, Cleveland,
drop the gun
452
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:04,581
or your sexy,
chocolate wife gets it.
453
00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:09,312
Now, now, what did
you say to me before?
454
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,915
"Scooby Dooby Doo,
(bleep)."
455
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:13,918
(laughs)
456
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,020
(laughter)
457
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,822
Why-why is this funny?
458
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,094
Did I say a Sniglet?
459
00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:21,992
(laughing)
460
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,325
Donna!
461
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,629
(screams)
462
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:26,602
Ow!
463
00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:31,501
(screams)
464
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,204
Cleveland, help!
465
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,942
Just pull the pins out!
466
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,142
You crazy?!
467
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,943
I paid a fortune for this wig!
468
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,305
We'll get another one
469
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:43,153
that doesn't make you look
like a Oompa Loompa!
470
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:44,219
(chuckles)
471
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:52,817
(dull thud)
472
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:57,697
You smell horrible.
473
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,957
You smell horrible, too.
474
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,026
And look horrible.
475
00:20:04,002 --> 00:20:06,072
(siren wailing)
476
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,610
Thank you, Freddy.
477
00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:23,353
You were no help at all.
478
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:26,086
I know.
479
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,932
This is my wife Donna.
480
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,087
Donna Tubbs.
481
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,325
Donna Tubbs Brown.
482
00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:33,501
There it is!
483
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:34,929
(yelling)
484
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:39,174
(gunshots)
485
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:42,112
(gunshot)
486
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:43,868
Why the hell'd you do that?!
487
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:46,006
I told you,
I shoot kids.
488
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:48,882
Old habits... die hard.
489
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,951
(laughter)
490
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:54,091
The end.
491
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:55,487
Yay!
492
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:57,988
Will you tell us
the sequel next Christmas?
493
00:20:57,991 --> 00:21:01,331
Let's see what the Internet
says about this one first.
494
00:21:01,381 --> 00:21:05,931
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