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1
00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:06,789
- ♪ MTV ♪
2
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:09,357
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:12,751
[rock music]
4
00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:19,454
♪ ♪
5
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,852
[bell rings]
6
00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:28,985
- Two, please, for
Escape from the Mummy's Tomb.
7
00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,639
- Oh, I'm afraid
there's a minimum group size
8
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:32,162
of four people.
- Oh, no.
9
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:35,513
Our girlfriends canceled.
- Oh, yeah, that sucks.
10
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,602
Well, you got ten minutes
to make our next session.
11
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,822
- Where are we gonna find
two people in ten minutes?
12
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:41,258
- And they've got
to be really smart
13
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,391
and good at solving puzzles.
14
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:46,611
- Hmm, there's got
to be somebody.
15
00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:49,788
- [chuckles]
- Yeah, that kicks ass. Yeah.
16
00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:51,573
- Okay, so this
is the four of you?
17
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:54,141
- Yes.
You guys are smart, right?
18
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:56,708
- Uh, yeah.
[chuckles]
19
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:58,971
That's why you asked us
to join you, m'ladies.
20
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,538
[both chuckle]
- Smart.
21
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:03,498
- Okay, now, remember,
if you can work together
22
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,761
to find the clues
and solve the puzzles,
23
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:08,720
then you might be able to
escape from the mummy's tomb.
24
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,026
It's down the hall
to your left.
25
00:01:10,113 --> 00:01:11,941
We do take payment
in advance, please.
26
00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:15,727
- Uh, we'll just go ahead
while you ladies pay.
27
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:17,468
- But afterwards, we'll
split it four ways, right?
28
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:21,124
- Yeah, baby.
[chuckles]
29
00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:24,432
Did you hear that, Beavis?
They want to have a four-way.
30
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:25,998
- Whoa, really?
[chuckles]
31
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,521
- That's right.
32
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,393
We got to escape
from the mummy's tomb,
33
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,221
and then they'll see
how smart we are,
34
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,832
and then we will score.
35
00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:36,618
Uh, he said left, right?
36
00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,054
- Right, yeah, yeah,
that's right, yeah.
37
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,577
Right.
[chuckles]
38
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:42,319
- Uh, okay.
[chuckles]
39
00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:45,408
- Huh.
40
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:47,107
- So this is the mummy's tomb.
41
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:49,196
- Whoa, amazing.
42
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:52,068
It looks just like a bathroom.
43
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,636
- Hmm, interesting.
44
00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,027
This mummy is trickier
than I thought.
45
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,856
- [grunting]
46
00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:01,295
Butt-Head, it won't open.
We're trapped.
47
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:02,905
- Of course we are, dumbass.
48
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:05,037
That's why they call it
an escape room.
49
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,301
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, let's look for clues.
50
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,259
- Exactly, Beavis.
51
00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:10,955
We will solve the escape room,
52
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:13,872
and then we will solve the
greatest mystery of them all--
53
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,439
scoring.
54
00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:18,616
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
[both chuckle]
55
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:21,576
- Hi, everyone.
My name is Mary Katherine and--
56
00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,055
- My name is Mary Katherine.
[chuckles]
57
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,753
- And this is my college
decision reaction video.
58
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,147
And--
- I know my college decision.
59
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,323
[chuckles]
No.
60
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,281
[both chuckle]
- Yeah, no way.
61
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:34,197
Absolutely not.
62
00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:35,459
Let's watch something else,
Butt-Head.
63
00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:36,895
[all screaming]
64
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:39,942
What's going on?
[screaming continues]
65
00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:41,291
This is scary.
66
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,075
Oh, fight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
67
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,468
- She's putting her
in a chokehold.
68
00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:46,383
She's got a chokehold.
- [screams]
69
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:48,429
- Yeah, elbow her in the ribs,
come on.
70
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:49,908
Come on, grab her arm.
Come on.
71
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,737
You can get out of this.
- Teach her a lesson.
72
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:55,000
Make sure she never
gets into Harvard again.
73
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:57,655
[chuckles]
74
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,048
- I don't know
how you get into Harvard
75
00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:01,050
if you can't even
kick your own mom's ass.
76
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:03,008
Come on, come on.
77
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:04,793
Her face is wide open.
Come on.
78
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,795
- Looks like the mom
is gonna win this one.
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00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:08,971
[chuckles]
- There will come a day
80
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:11,626
when you will defeat me,
Mary Katherine,
81
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:14,368
but today is not that day.
[chuckles]
82
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:17,197
Ah, ah!
[chuckles]
83
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,676
- Oh, my God.
Oh.
84
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,942
- [chuckles]
- Uh...
85
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,597
- Butt-Head,
I think I found a clue.
86
00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:28,556
Check it out.
There's words.
87
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:31,907
- Hmm, words.
Let's see.
88
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:34,910
Jason...eats...
89
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,781
balls.
90
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,870
Jason eats balls.
91
00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,959
Hmm.
- Huh.
92
00:03:41,046 --> 00:03:44,311
But what does it mean?
- Who is Jason?
93
00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:47,836
Why does he eat balls?
Whose balls does he eat?
94
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:50,099
- Ah, the mummy's balls?
[chuckles]
95
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,188
- Perhaps.
[chuckles]
96
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,624
- Yeah, this is hard.
97
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:55,322
Maybe we should ask
those girls.
98
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:57,237
- Beavis, those girls
weren't even smart enough
99
00:03:57,324 --> 00:04:00,065
to figure out how to get
in the escape room.
100
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:02,067
They're gonna think
we're geniuses when we get out.
101
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,982
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
102
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,941
Yeah, maybe they'll be
dumb enough to score with us.
103
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,683
[both chuckle]
Yeah, yeah.
104
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:11,251
- Oh, my God, are they still
in the bathroom?
105
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,687
- They're weird.
106
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,254
They must be
in tech or something.
107
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:17,518
- Hey, is it okay if
Kyle and Brad join your group?
108
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:20,042
- Okay, sure.
109
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,653
- This mummy forgot to, like,
leave clues or something.
110
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,438
- Whoa, Butt-Head, look.
111
00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:28,659
I found a clue.
Look, a turd.
112
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:31,836
- Hmm, now we're getting
somewhere, Beavis.
113
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:34,883
Finally, a real clue.
- Yeah.
114
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:38,843
- Now, why would someone
put a turd in a toilet?
115
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:42,891
Hmm.
- It just doesn't make sense.
116
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:46,068
Wait a minute.
Maybe someone took a dump.
117
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:47,852
[screams]
118
00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,637
- Damn it, Beavis, shut up.
I'm thinking.
119
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:50,942
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Sorry.
120
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:54,163
- Beavis, you mean well,
but you're a dumbass.
121
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,513
[chuckles]
I have figured it out.
122
00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,212
That turd can mean
only one thing.
123
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,563
This mummy is disgusting.
124
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:08,873
[insects buzzing]
125
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,529
- Check it out, Beavis,
another clue.
126
00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:15,924
- So what do we do with it?
- Elementary, my dear dumbass.
127
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,840
And now
I shall solve the puzzle.
128
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:21,016
[chuckles] Open.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
129
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,497
- [grunting]
Open, you son of a bitch.
130
00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:25,673
[grunting]
- I think it's working.
131
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,197
- Damn it.
- [screams]
132
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:29,981
- Give me my clue back,
butthole.
133
00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:31,766
- Cut it out, Butt-Head.
Come on, let go.
134
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:35,639
[screams]
135
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,641
Whoa, Butt-Head, you did it.
136
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:40,470
- [chuckles]
I'm smart. [chuckles]
137
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:42,516
- Yeah, yeah. You're probably
gonna score, too.
138
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:46,563
[both chuckle]
139
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:49,784
About to escape, yeah.
[both chuckle]
140
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:56,007
[groans]
We didn't escape, Butt-Head.
141
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,706
- Uh, damn it.
[chuckles]
142
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,577
- Yeah, and this tomb
is even harder.
143
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,710
There's no urinals.
144
00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,929
And what are these things?
145
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:08,106
- Hmm, no human alive
knows what these are.
146
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:11,458
We must put them in the toilet.
147
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:14,548
- Oh, yeah.
[both chuckle]
148
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:16,941
- How to make tattoo ink
in prison.
149
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,769
A soda can, some toilet tissue,
150
00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:21,337
some hair grease,
and a saltine crackers box.
151
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:22,860
Fold the tissue up and--
152
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,166
- Whoa, this guy
is definitely a criminal.
153
00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:25,385
[chuckles]
154
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:26,560
- That's what
it should look like.
155
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:27,735
- What accent is this?
[chuckles]
156
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,780
- Take your hair grease
and fill up--
157
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:32,348
- It's like a prison accent.
[chuckles]
158
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:34,306
- I want to talk like that.
[chuckles]
159
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,177
[Southern accent]
Got some toilet tissue,
160
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:37,135
saltine cracker box.
161
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:38,746
Tear off three sheets
of toilet tissue.
162
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,182
- Twist it very tight.
163
00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:41,575
- [Southern accent]
Twist it up real tight.
164
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:43,098
- Light your candle
and set your box
165
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,882
over top of it
to collect all the soot.
166
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:47,363
- Set your box over top of it.
- Set the box on two pencils--
167
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,757
- Set it on two pencils,
so it can breathe.
168
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,020
- After about an hour,
you can see all the soot--
169
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,804
- After about an hour,
you can see all the soot
170
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,327
that's caught inside the box.
[chuckles]
171
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,025
- Scrape it into a pile.
172
00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:59,549
- [normal voice] This, like,
makes me want to go to jail.
173
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,986
- Add a tiny bit of
hand sanitizer or body wash.
174
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:04,554
- What did this guy do
to get in prison, I wonder?
175
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,078
- [normal voice] He didn't have
to do anything.
176
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:09,646
They just let him right in.
[chuckles]
177
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,300
- Yeah, they just looked
at him and were like,
178
00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:12,997
"Sir, I can tell by
looking at you
179
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:14,782
"that you're gonna be
in jail eventually,
180
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:15,870
so let's just get this
over with."
181
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:18,394
[both chuckle]
182
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:19,917
- Only a drop or two of water.
183
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,266
- This is, like,
a pretty nice prison
184
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:22,746
he's in here, you know?
[chuckles]
185
00:07:22,832 --> 00:07:27,011
- No, he's back at his mom's.
[chuckles]
186
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,883
- Yeah, his mom's
gonna be like,
187
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,667
[Southern accent] "Damn it, did
you take my saltine cracker box
188
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,061
and use it
for your tattoo again?"
189
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:34,715
- [Southern accent]
"Damn it, boy,
190
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:35,803
"you ain't never gonna
eat chicken
191
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,195
"in this house again you don't
give me back
192
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:39,459
my saltine cracker box."
193
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,199
- "What am I gonna do
if I kill your daddy
194
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:44,202
"and have to tattoo
a teardrop next to my eye?
195
00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:46,596
How am I gonna do that
without soot?"
196
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,293
- Every tattoo I have
is that ink,
197
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,686
and they're,
like, ten years old.
198
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:54,343
- Um, Butt-Head, I dressed up
like a mummy like you said,
199
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,040
and I still can't
find any clues.
200
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:59,391
- Uh, who cares about clues?
201
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,003
Let's flush this stuff
down the toilet.
202
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:03,613
[both chuckle]
203
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,267
- Yeah, if we're gonna be
stuck in here,
204
00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:07,138
we might as well
do something cool.
205
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:08,923
[toilet flushes]
Yeah.
206
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,012
- Congratulations, by the way.
207
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:13,144
That's the fastest anyone's
solved the mummy's tomb.
208
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:15,233
What the hell?
209
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,845
- Let's stick the plunger
in the sink.
210
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:21,239
[both chuckle]
- Yeah, flooding is cool.
211
00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:23,154
- Oh, my God.
What the hell?
212
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:25,113
Who would do something
like that?
213
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,550
- Check it out, Beavis,
it worked.
214
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,509
[chuckles]
- Yeah, we're geniuses.
215
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,424
- We escaped.
- Yeah, this is cool.
216
00:08:34,164 --> 00:08:35,863
[car horn honks]
217
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:38,212
Damn it,
where are those girls going?
218
00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:40,389
- Uh, I guess
we scared them off
219
00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:42,260
with our genius-ing
or something.
220
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:44,741
[chuckles]
They just couldn't handle it.
221
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:48,136
- [groans] Oh, well...
[chuckles]
222
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:51,139
I've been waiting to
go to the bathroom for hours.
223
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,488
Um, where's the bathroom?
224
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,272
- Yeah, it's down the hall
to the right.
225
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,451
- Here we go.
226
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,932
This bathroom is weird.
[chuckles]
227
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,760
- Yeah, I'm not gonna be
picky at this point.
228
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:05,196
[groans]
229
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:06,502
Help me with the lid here,
Butt-Head.
230
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:09,331
[groans]
- Unbelievable.
231
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:12,290
Those two girls have no class.
232
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:14,118
What--Hey, hey,
what are you doing?
233
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,512
- [sighs]
That's better.
234
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,688
- Stop, stop that!
Stop that! Stop! Stop!
235
00:09:24,259 --> 00:09:26,348
[both chuckle]
236
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:29,307
[rock music]
237
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:36,010
♪ ♪
238
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,189
- Hey, how's it going?
239
00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:44,801
Do you have any matches?
- No.
240
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:47,935
- How about a lighter?
- No.
241
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:51,547
- Because it says
you have fire wings.
242
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:52,940
- Get out of here, kid.
243
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,771
- Damn it.
Fartknocker.
244
00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,426
[eerie music]
245
00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:03,907
Huh, let's go have a look.
246
00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:08,259
♪ ♪
247
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,479
Whoa, fire!
Yeah, yeah!
248
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:13,351
Yeah, fire!
Fire!
249
00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:16,441
Fire! Fire!
250
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,618
♪ ♪
251
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,620
- Hello, Beavis.
252
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:23,492
I have been waiting for you.
253
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:26,800
I am Fire.
254
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:29,977
- Whoa, yeah, fire!
Yeah, yeah.
255
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:32,501
You, like--you kick ass.
Yeah. [chuckles]
256
00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:37,071
- [chuckles]
I have great power, yes.
257
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,203
- Yeah, yeah.
Wait a minute.
258
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:42,250
So, like--so you can talk?
259
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:45,557
- I have always been able
to talk to you, Beavis.
260
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,299
Remember?
261
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:52,695
all: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
262
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:55,524
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
263
00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:59,267
- Beavis, it is I, Fire.
264
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:03,488
Look upon my fearful glory.
265
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:06,796
- Fire.
[chuckles]
266
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,103
Yeah, fire.
[chuckles]
267
00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:11,409
Um, Fire, do you remember
when I put an M-80
268
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:15,500
in Mr. Anderson's mailbox
and it started a big fire?
269
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:18,982
- Yes, that was me.
270
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,680
- Remember when I found
my first lighter
271
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:23,378
and it was, like, fire.
Yeah. [chuckles]
272
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:27,991
- I remember.
I am Fire.
273
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:29,123
- Have you ever been
in a volcano?
274
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:32,213
- I am in all the volcanoes.
275
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,781
- And what
about that forest fire?
276
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:38,219
Yeah.
- That was a great day.
277
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:40,264
- Yeah, Smokey the Bear sucks.
Yeah. [chuckles]
278
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:43,964
- It's not his fault.
I killed his parents.
279
00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:45,922
He's just trying
to mend the hole
280
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,272
in his heart that I put there.
281
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,318
- You're cool, yeah.
[chuckles]
282
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:51,841
- Quite so.
283
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:54,148
And you, Beavis,
284
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:57,238
are my special one.
285
00:11:57,325 --> 00:12:00,807
- Fire, fire!
- Fire.
286
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:03,548
Now, Beavis, listen to me.
287
00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,812
I am going to command you,
288
00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:10,468
and you will do
exactly as I say.
289
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:13,994
- Yes, Fire, tell me what
to do, and I will obey, yeah.
290
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:16,083
- Very good.
291
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,912
[laughs evilly]
292
00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:22,045
Now, Beavis, go to your school
293
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:25,266
and run four times
around the track.
294
00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:29,052
That will be one mile.
295
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:31,315
- Um, that's what
you want me to do?
296
00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:34,231
- Yes.
297
00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:36,451
- Okay,
I guess that's pretty cool.
298
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,758
Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna run, yeah.
299
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:41,282
- Now, be gone!
300
00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:44,459
- Fire, fire!
[chuckles]
301
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:48,942
Yeah, fire.
Fire, yeah, fire.
302
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:56,123
- [sighs]
Hey, Fire, I'm back.
303
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:59,735
- Did you run
around the track four times,
304
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:03,347
completing a distance
of one mile?
305
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,872
- Yes, Fire, yes.
I did as you command, yes.
306
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:10,964
- Very good, my loyal servant.
307
00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:15,142
- So, Fire, um, why did you
command me to do that?
308
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,970
- It was good exercise.
309
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:19,842
You needed it.
310
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:21,757
- [groans]
Well, I guess so.
311
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,281
I don't know.
I mean, if you say so.
312
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:27,981
- Butt-Head
doesn't understand us, does he?
313
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:30,113
My special one,
314
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,987
what we have, what I am?
315
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,032
- No, he doesn't.
Yeah, he sucks.
316
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,339
Yeah, let's burn him.
Yeah. [chuckles]
317
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:42,865
- Hmm, perhaps, in good time,
318
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,127
but not today,
319
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:48,740
for I have for you
a second command.
320
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,177
- Yes, command me.
321
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:52,788
Yeah, that first one
was just a warm-up. Yeah.
322
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,878
- Look around you, Beavis.
323
00:13:55,965 --> 00:14:00,230
The streets of the city
are crawling with filth,
324
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:03,581
but you and I know
what to do about filth,
325
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:05,583
don't we, Beavis?
326
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:09,022
- Yes! Yeah!
Yeah, fire! [chuckles]
327
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,937
- I command you
328
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:14,288
to pick up all of the
plastic bottles in this alley
329
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,290
and put them in the recycling
330
00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:21,077
and then the same
for the surrounding streets!
331
00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:23,688
- Really? Um, you command me
to do that?
332
00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:26,996
- Obey me!
- Okay, okay. Yeah.
333
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:29,390
Yeah, fire. Okay.
334
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,566
Get this here.
[chuckles]
335
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:34,308
Get one of these.
336
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:37,006
- No, not the regular trash!
337
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,922
The blue one!
- Okay, okay.
338
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:47,016
[mellow country music]
339
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:48,322
♪ ♪
340
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:50,411
- Beavis, here's a
little something
341
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:53,718
for you from Cale Dodds.
[chuckles]
342
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,983
- Yeah, this is country,
I can tell, yeah. [chuckles]
343
00:14:57,070 --> 00:14:58,985
- ♪ Down a two lane
with no name... ♪
344
00:14:59,072 --> 00:15:02,292
- I can tell because he said
"down a two lane."
345
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:05,121
- And there's, like, a story.
[chuckles]
346
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:07,732
- I think that's the guy
who makes "Family Guy."
347
00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:11,040
I didn't know he was
a country singer, too, yeah.
348
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:13,695
- ♪ I see you in a sun dress ♪
349
00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:19,483
- Whoa, he's trying to score
at breakfast. [chuckles]
350
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,398
- Yeah, and didn't work, yeah.
[chuckles]
351
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,966
Well, you know, there's always
lunch and dinner.
352
00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:26,577
- ♪ They're all coming ♪
353
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:31,147
- Uh, okay, he's like,
"Okay, I can handle this."
354
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:33,933
- Uh, hello, I'm country star
Cale Dodds.
355
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,109
I used to be a loser like you.
356
00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:39,851
Uh, I mean, not like you,
exactly.
357
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,289
- Yeah, you know what I mean,
um, I was in a band.
358
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:44,639
All the chicks liked me
and all that, you know.
359
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:47,903
- I was nothing like you.
[chuckles]
360
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:50,688
You're a loser.
[both chuckle]
361
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:54,301
He's like, you see,
your problem is this sweater.
362
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,303
- Yeah, just get rid
of the sweater,
363
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,435
and that chick'll come
right over here
364
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:01,047
and get it on with you right
in the middle of Applebee's.
365
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:06,313
- Uh, this is like
all those movies
366
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,532
where, like,
the good-looking cool guy
367
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:10,665
teaches the dork how to score,
368
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:12,754
and he, like, trains him.
369
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:14,843
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
[chuckles]
370
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:19,021
- He's grooming him.
[chuckles]
371
00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:21,458
- He's like, you know,
now that I paid for your meal,
372
00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:22,633
why don't you come back
to my place
373
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,071
and try on some clothes
for me? [chuckles]
374
00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:26,855
Yeah.
[chuckles]
375
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,683
- He's gonna wind up
in a shallow grave.
376
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:32,208
[chuckles]
377
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:36,038
They told us about these kind
of guys in health class.
378
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,432
- All the warning signs
were there.
379
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:40,434
- They may come across
as friendly at first.
380
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:42,653
They might even sing you
a country song.
381
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:45,221
But beware.
[chuckles]
382
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,266
- They might
buy your breakfast,
383
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:48,181
but that breakfast isn't free.
384
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:49,573
- Here's what happened
to a young man
385
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,227
who went home with Cale Dodds.
386
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,403
[both chuckle]
387
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,797
- ♪ The stars ain't started
to glow ♪
388
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:57,668
- So, like,
does this video mean
389
00:16:57,755 --> 00:17:00,541
that if you change your shirt,
you'll score with chicks?
390
00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:02,195
[both chuckle]
- Yeah, that's ridiculous!
391
00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,240
Because I have
the coolest shirt
392
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:09,028
you could possibly have,
and I still don't score.
393
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,595
- ♪ I like where this
is going ♪
394
00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:15,425
♪ I like it, yeah, I like it ♪
395
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:18,993
- Uh, the only way
he can score
396
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,821
is to go to a club
and sit around
397
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:24,217
and wait for a girl to trip
and fall over. [chuckles]
398
00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,696
- Yeah, maybe I should
try that. [chuckles]
399
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,699
- As soon as the director
says "cut,"
400
00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,049
that hot girl's gonna
leave the dork
401
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,181
and go score with Cale Dodds.
402
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,792
[chuckles]
403
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:36,664
- And then the dork
is gonna go home alone,
404
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:40,233
put on a new shirt,
and spank his monkey.
405
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,235
- Now that's a country song.
406
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:45,847
[both chuckling]
407
00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:51,983
- Um, okay, Fire, um,
so I picked up all the bottles.
408
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:57,206
- Very good.
Very good indeed.
409
00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:59,513
[laughs]
410
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,385
- Yeah, I guess it was fine.
I don't know.
411
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:07,608
- Beavis, are you ready
to obey my next command?
412
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,479
- Yes, Fire, yes!
413
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:12,482
And something cool
this time maybe. Yeah.
414
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:15,616
- I think you'll find this
very cool.
415
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:20,055
You could say
I was just getting warmed up.
416
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:22,318
[laughs]
417
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:25,408
Now, listen closely
418
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:28,237
to what you shall do.
419
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:31,153
- Yeah!
I'm listening closely. Yeah.
420
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:35,375
- You will go
and read "Call of the Wild"
421
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:39,248
and write
a two-page report on it.
422
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,294
- Um, what?
423
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,774
- Now do my bidding.
424
00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:47,561
Use topic sentences!
425
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:51,782
- Um, Fire, um, why are you
making me do this stuff?
426
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:54,524
- You are
my special one, Beavis.
427
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:56,352
- Uh-huh.
428
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:57,701
- And it's about time
you applied yourself.
429
00:18:57,788 --> 00:18:59,138
- [groans]
430
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,749
- It's one thing to screw
around in middle school,
431
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:05,622
but you are almost at the point
where it counts for colleges.
432
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,668
- Oh, boy.
433
00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:09,104
- Now go
434
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:12,934
before I make it five pages!
435
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:15,719
- Um, just wait here
a second. Yeah.
436
00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:17,678
[chuckles]
437
00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:22,552
Um, did you know there's a fire
in the garbage back there?
438
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,250
- [groans]
Again?
439
00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:27,557
- Yeah, there it is.
440
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:29,168
- [gasps]
What?
441
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:32,780
No, Beavis, no.
Stop him, Beavis.
442
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:36,305
The pain!
I'm being extinguished!
443
00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:38,786
Punish him that dare...
[coughs]
444
00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:41,963
Oh, please.
[coughs]
445
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:45,053
It doesn't have to be
two pages...
446
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,795
just three paragraphs.
447
00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:52,321
[groans]
Remember the M-80s.
448
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:56,238
[groans]
So cold.
449
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:57,370
- Thanks, kid.
450
00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:05,508
- And there was
so much left to burn.
451
00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:10,209
Farewell, my special one.
452
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,953
- That fire sucked.
[chuckles]
453
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,304
Whoa, cool.
[chuckles]
454
00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:19,914
Yeah, fire!
455
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:20,915
[rock music]
456
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:24,962
Fire. Fire, fire!
457
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:31,926
♪ ♪
458
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:53,774
- Chirp.
459
00:20:53,824 --> 00:20:58,374
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