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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,244 --> 00:00:13,482 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:16,822 --> 00:00:18,191 Business is 3 00:00:18,225 --> 00:00:20,262 booming at the nightclub, baby! 4 00:00:20,295 --> 00:00:21,632 Cheers. 5 00:00:21,665 --> 00:00:23,001 ♪ Let's face the music ♪ 6 00:00:23,035 --> 00:00:24,972 ♪ And dance... ♪ 7 00:00:25,005 --> 00:00:26,742 That little tap-dancing freak that clawed 8 00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:28,078 its way out of the abdominal cavity 9 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,581 of dead Colin Robinson 10 00:00:29,615 --> 00:00:31,184 is causing such a buzz. 11 00:00:31,217 --> 00:00:34,758 We are pulling in capacity crowds of vampires 12 00:00:34,792 --> 00:00:36,695 and humans night after night. 13 00:00:36,729 --> 00:00:38,633 The only real problem, apart from 14 00:00:38,666 --> 00:00:40,704 the blood sprinklers clogging yet again, 15 00:00:40,737 --> 00:00:42,574 is the fucking employees. 16 00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:44,143 How many of our patrons have died 17 00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:46,916 in wraith-related accidents in the last week alone? 18 00:00:46,949 --> 00:00:49,020 - Five. - What? Five?! 19 00:00:52,994 --> 00:00:54,565 But, you know, four of them were human. 20 00:00:54,598 --> 00:00:56,669 Yeah, okay, that's not so bad then. 21 00:00:56,702 --> 00:00:59,240 But still, what is going on with these wraiths? 22 00:00:59,273 --> 00:01:02,113 Maybe they are having issues with how 23 00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:03,750 they're being treated. 24 00:01:03,783 --> 00:01:05,152 I gave them jobs. I'd say that's 25 00:01:05,185 --> 00:01:07,591 - pretty bloody good treatment. - Yes, but you do 26 00:01:07,624 --> 00:01:09,628 make them sleep in the supply closet. 27 00:01:09,661 --> 00:01:11,097 Well, it is better than sleeping in the street. 28 00:01:11,131 --> 00:01:13,268 You can remind them of that. 29 00:01:13,301 --> 00:01:15,072 Maybe if you just listened to them 30 00:01:15,105 --> 00:01:18,111 and heard them out-- their concerns, you know, and... 31 00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:20,282 Hold it, hold it. 32 00:01:20,315 --> 00:01:21,919 Are they intentionally underperforming 33 00:01:21,952 --> 00:01:23,355 in order to get their way? 34 00:01:23,388 --> 00:01:24,858 You know, it does seem like they've organized 35 00:01:24,892 --> 00:01:26,662 some sort of labor action. 36 00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:29,701 - This I know how to handle. - Ah. 37 00:01:29,735 --> 00:01:31,772 Kill them all. 38 00:01:33,943 --> 00:01:36,314 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪ 39 00:01:36,347 --> 00:01:38,920 ♪ They have no use for your song ♪ 40 00:01:38,953 --> 00:01:41,659 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪ 41 00:01:41,692 --> 00:01:44,598 ♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪ 42 00:01:46,034 --> 00:01:49,040 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪ 43 00:01:49,073 --> 00:01:51,846 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪ 44 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:54,117 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪ 45 00:01:54,150 --> 00:01:56,856 ♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪ 46 00:02:07,744 --> 00:02:10,249 ♪ One, two, three, four. ♪ 47 00:02:10,282 --> 00:02:14,056 ♪ There may be trouble ahead ♪ 48 00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:16,427 - Come on. - ♪ But while there's music ♪ 49 00:02:16,461 --> 00:02:18,766 ♪ And moonlight and... ♪ 50 00:02:18,799 --> 00:02:21,371 Uh, I-I forgot the words, Lazlo. 51 00:02:21,404 --> 00:02:23,041 What is this tomfoolery? 52 00:02:23,074 --> 00:02:25,647 This is a rehearsal for you, not for me. 53 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:26,782 But, Lazzo, guess what? 54 00:02:26,816 --> 00:02:28,285 - You're tired. - I'm tired. 55 00:02:28,318 --> 00:02:30,289 I-I'm at a really good part of my book and I... 56 00:02:30,322 --> 00:02:32,026 Not the fucking book again. Give it to me. 57 00:02:32,059 --> 00:02:33,228 I-I don't have it. 58 00:02:33,261 --> 00:02:34,965 Yes, you do, boy. 59 00:02:34,998 --> 00:02:36,902 You've tucked it in the back of your trouser. 60 00:02:36,936 --> 00:02:38,940 - Give it to me. - Fine. 61 00:02:38,973 --> 00:02:41,444 Fairy tales? This is bullshit. 62 00:02:41,477 --> 00:02:44,016 And highly inaccurate. "Little Red Riding Hood"? 63 00:02:44,050 --> 00:02:45,820 You know, that's a tale about a gruesome, 64 00:02:45,854 --> 00:02:47,824 unsolved child abduction. 65 00:02:47,858 --> 00:02:49,260 That's not true. I don't believe you. 66 00:02:49,293 --> 00:02:50,797 Really? You're an expert, are you? 67 00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:53,034 What about this one, "Rumpelstiltskin"? 68 00:02:53,068 --> 00:02:54,938 "Rumpled dick skin," more like. 69 00:02:54,972 --> 00:02:56,842 You know that's how he got his name, this chap? 70 00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:59,781 - Doesn't say that in the book. - What's "dick skin"? 71 00:02:59,815 --> 00:03:01,886 What is dick skin? That's a bloody good question. 72 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:04,156 And not one that you should be asking. 73 00:03:04,190 --> 00:03:06,261 Let's get on with the last song. 74 00:03:06,294 --> 00:03:09,166 So you will be meeting with Xerxes. 75 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,139 Okay? He's the one that they've elected leader. 76 00:03:12,172 --> 00:03:13,876 - Oh! - And here he is. May I present Xerxes. 77 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:16,281 Hello, X... rexes. 78 00:03:16,314 --> 00:03:19,086 Xerxes, why don't you start? 79 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,959 He says, "Thank you for taking the time 80 00:03:21,992 --> 00:03:23,829 to work through these issues." 81 00:03:23,863 --> 00:03:25,198 Very good. Oh. 82 00:03:25,232 --> 00:03:28,171 "We have a list of demands to be addressed." 83 00:03:28,205 --> 00:03:30,877 - Fine. - "Number one. 84 00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:33,248 "We require more than one break 85 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:35,085 "a day so that we may haunt 86 00:03:35,118 --> 00:03:37,089 the descendants of our transgressors." 87 00:03:37,122 --> 00:03:39,360 We would all like to have more time for our hobbies. 88 00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:41,966 "Number two. 89 00:03:41,999 --> 00:03:45,072 "We will not be blamed for all phantom smells at work. 90 00:03:45,105 --> 00:03:48,245 "This is an old building with old pipes, and the smells 91 00:03:48,278 --> 00:03:50,516 emanating therefrom are out of our control." 92 00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:52,152 Okay! Enough! 93 00:03:52,186 --> 00:03:54,891 I have given you and your weird faceless friends 94 00:03:54,925 --> 00:03:57,530 a job and a lovely, warm supply closet to sleep in. 95 00:03:57,564 --> 00:04:00,469 Without me, you would have nothing. 96 00:04:00,503 --> 00:04:02,006 Goodbye. Gamísou. 97 00:04:02,039 --> 00:04:04,443 I don't have time for this skatá. 98 00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:07,884 Mm. "That went well." 99 00:04:07,918 --> 00:04:09,855 Think that's supposed to be a joke. 100 00:04:09,888 --> 00:04:12,293 Wraiths aren't really known for their sense of humor. 101 00:04:12,326 --> 00:04:15,967 "'Twas upon the fourth year of the Nine Years' War 102 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,873 "that the battles of Barfleur and La Hogue 103 00:04:18,906 --> 00:04:20,510 tested the will of His Majesty's fleet..." 104 00:04:20,543 --> 00:04:22,514 Can we please read one of my books? 105 00:04:22,547 --> 00:04:24,016 - Absolutely not. - Please? 106 00:04:24,050 --> 00:04:25,954 Real books about real people 107 00:04:25,987 --> 00:04:27,557 concerning real things that happened. 108 00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:30,095 Oh, Laszlo, just read him some of that baby bullshit 109 00:04:30,128 --> 00:04:31,832 - he likes so much. - Yeah, maybe the one 110 00:04:31,865 --> 00:04:33,569 about the elves and the shoemaker. 111 00:04:33,603 --> 00:04:35,305 All right. I'll tell you the real story. 112 00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:38,044 Some third-rate cobbler ripped to the tits 113 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:41,317 on formaldehyde fumes used in his leather tanning process 114 00:04:41,351 --> 00:04:44,156 imagines he's seeing little elves do all his work. 115 00:04:44,190 --> 00:04:45,860 Loses his business, kills himself. 116 00:04:45,893 --> 00:04:46,962 The end. 117 00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,933 Aha! Yes! 118 00:04:48,966 --> 00:04:50,970 This will do very nicely. 119 00:04:51,004 --> 00:04:54,176 Everyone! We're going to the night market! 120 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:57,049 A night market actually exists in every single town. 121 00:04:57,082 --> 00:05:00,455 But it is always hidden from the prying, pathetic eyes of humans. 122 00:05:00,489 --> 00:05:02,927 The night market is a bit like 123 00:05:02,961 --> 00:05:05,232 the famous Italian street fairs 124 00:05:05,265 --> 00:05:06,434 of Little Italy. 125 00:05:06,467 --> 00:05:08,071 Very diverse. 126 00:05:08,104 --> 00:05:10,510 Lots of different cultures represented. 127 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,246 Sticky shit all over the ground. 128 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:16,522 And a good place to pillage or barter tchotchkes. 129 00:05:16,555 --> 00:05:19,393 It is truly the only place where we can set aside our differences 130 00:05:19,427 --> 00:05:21,331 and work towards a common goal: 131 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:24,303 to fuck the other guy before he fucks you! 132 00:05:24,337 --> 00:05:26,441 It's just a work thing. I'll call you after. I love... Okay. 133 00:05:26,474 --> 00:05:29,313 What do you require from the night market, my darling? 134 00:05:29,347 --> 00:05:31,417 Oh, you know, just a special little something 135 00:05:31,451 --> 00:05:33,522 to help try and solve my wraith labor problem. 136 00:05:33,556 --> 00:05:35,325 Will it be safe for someone like me to go? 137 00:05:35,359 --> 00:05:37,396 - Meaning as a human? - I don't care. 138 00:05:37,429 --> 00:05:39,100 Yeah, do not worry, Guillermo. Hurry up. 139 00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:41,337 If anyone asks, just say you're an orc or some shit. 140 00:05:41,371 --> 00:05:43,108 Well, I don't look like an orc. 141 00:05:44,076 --> 00:05:45,312 - Do I? - Mm. 142 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,617 You could pass. 143 00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:50,288 I am very excited for this trip as well. 144 00:05:50,322 --> 00:05:51,892 Even though we live in the same house, 145 00:05:51,925 --> 00:05:54,363 it's so rare that Nandor asks me along 146 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,635 when he has an outing with his friends, so... 147 00:05:56,668 --> 00:05:59,440 You know what? I changed my mind. 148 00:05:59,473 --> 00:06:02,446 - Nice work. - I think I'd rather just stay home. 149 00:06:02,479 --> 00:06:06,588 Oh, no. Marwa, this is a big fat bummer I am hearing. 150 00:06:06,622 --> 00:06:07,924 But, okay, fine. I miss you already. 151 00:06:07,957 --> 00:06:09,928 - Bye. - Come on. 152 00:06:09,961 --> 00:06:11,965 Of course Marwa is my one true love. 153 00:06:11,999 --> 00:06:14,538 But she's always hanging around. 154 00:06:14,571 --> 00:06:18,445 Sometimes it's just more fun to hang with just the boys. 155 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,496 Yes. This is the one that goes to the night market. 156 00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:29,467 Come on. Come. Come on, boy. I'm going. 157 00:06:29,501 --> 00:06:31,003 - Quickly, quickly. - Are you sure about this? This looks like 158 00:06:31,037 --> 00:06:33,408 a regular train full of normal people. 159 00:06:33,441 --> 00:06:35,546 How dare you question me. 160 00:06:38,151 --> 00:06:40,288 Ah. Attention, ladies and gentlemen! 161 00:06:40,322 --> 00:06:43,194 If I could just have a few moments of your time. 162 00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:45,533 I'm trying to raise money for my Uncle Jeffrey. 163 00:06:45,566 --> 00:06:46,668 He needs a new heart. 164 00:06:46,702 --> 00:06:49,306 So please enjoy this performance 165 00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:52,981 and know that anything you can give, anything, 166 00:06:53,014 --> 00:06:54,417 will help. 167 00:07:06,675 --> 00:07:08,344 Oh, wow. 168 00:07:12,286 --> 00:07:14,958 Disgusting. 169 00:07:21,471 --> 00:07:23,041 That is dynamite. 170 00:07:23,074 --> 00:07:24,477 All right! 171 00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:26,247 If you're still here, you know why you're here. 172 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,218 Next stop, the night market. 173 00:07:28,251 --> 00:07:30,489 Told you. He was fantastic. Well done. 174 00:07:30,523 --> 00:07:32,459 Are you still doing requests? Not for a couple hours. 175 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:35,298 Ah. - Ooh. Looks pretty busy. 176 00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:37,402 Okay. Everyone. 177 00:07:37,436 --> 00:07:38,639 Come on, boy. Don't get lost. 178 00:07:38,672 --> 00:07:40,510 Come on. - Exciting. 179 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,179 Night market awaits. 180 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,985 Holy cow. Look at all of this. 181 00:07:45,018 --> 00:07:48,124 This is pretty cool. Put that down. They're overpriced. 182 00:07:48,158 --> 00:07:50,328 Darling, maybe it's time to get you a new coffin. 183 00:07:50,362 --> 00:07:53,468 No. - Put your kids in cages! 184 00:07:53,502 --> 00:07:54,738 Witches. 185 00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:56,474 Yes, how much for that one up there? 186 00:07:56,508 --> 00:07:58,512 - You don't need any more cages. - Shh! 187 00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:00,683 While it is progressive that the night market 188 00:08:00,716 --> 00:08:03,622 is a safe space for all of demonkind, 189 00:08:03,656 --> 00:08:05,593 sadly, we have no one form of currency between us all, 190 00:08:05,626 --> 00:08:08,131 so we have to rely on the old ways. 191 00:08:08,164 --> 00:08:09,266 Stinks. Oh. 192 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:11,204 AKA the bartering system. 193 00:08:11,237 --> 00:08:13,141 Lots of people usually end up dead. 194 00:08:13,174 --> 00:08:14,744 I say, do you have any historical books? 195 00:08:14,778 --> 00:08:16,280 I do, sir. 196 00:08:16,314 --> 00:08:17,517 Luckily, I come from a long line 197 00:08:17,550 --> 00:08:19,554 of highly-skilled hagglers. 198 00:08:19,588 --> 00:08:21,424 My giagiá, she once traded just a little bit 199 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:24,564 of her thigh meat for a whole bag of onions. 200 00:08:24,598 --> 00:08:27,604 So, yeah, I think I know what I'm doing. 201 00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:28,973 We're here. 202 00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:34,483 Hey, girlfriends! 203 00:08:34,518 --> 00:08:36,087 How's it hanging? 204 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,757 - Ja. - Ja. 205 00:08:37,790 --> 00:08:40,228 Valkyries are a group of maidens 206 00:08:40,262 --> 00:08:42,299 who were sent by the gods to the Viking battlefields 207 00:08:42,332 --> 00:08:44,403 so they could choose who amongst the slain 208 00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,775 they thought was worthy of a place in Valhalla. 209 00:08:46,808 --> 00:08:49,079 They are, um, interesting folk. 210 00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:50,683 Eh. They're quite... 211 00:08:50,716 --> 00:08:52,052 They've got zero banter. 212 00:08:52,085 --> 00:08:55,058 Absolutely no laughs whatsoever. 213 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:58,064 Okay. 214 00:08:58,097 --> 00:09:00,803 Hold on to your huvudbonader, ladies, 215 00:09:00,836 --> 00:09:04,143 because I don't think you'll find this little tasty piece 216 00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:06,648 while antiquing in Connecticut. 217 00:09:06,682 --> 00:09:09,086 Note the cobalt blue glaze. 218 00:09:09,119 --> 00:09:11,090 The white base. 219 00:09:11,123 --> 00:09:12,527 And use of porcelain interior. 220 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:13,762 - Ja. - Ja. 221 00:09:13,796 --> 00:09:15,700 I literally 222 00:09:15,733 --> 00:09:19,139 just grabbed this from Nandor's room before I left the house. 223 00:09:19,173 --> 00:09:21,678 Now, what do your books tell you about fairies? 224 00:09:21,712 --> 00:09:25,586 Well, fairies are pretty little women that can fly around, 225 00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,155 and they live in mushrooms. 226 00:09:27,189 --> 00:09:28,491 Really? A likely story. 227 00:09:28,525 --> 00:09:29,761 What do we have here? 228 00:09:29,794 --> 00:09:31,598 A rancid pail of garbage. 229 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:34,537 Hello, my beauties. 230 00:09:34,571 --> 00:09:36,107 - Laszlo! - Laszlo! - You're looking... 231 00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,577 healthy. 232 00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:38,646 Yeah, we've been eating garbage. 233 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,183 Yeah. Love to chat, but, uh... 234 00:09:41,217 --> 00:09:42,452 got things to do. 235 00:09:42,486 --> 00:09:44,691 Enjoy your pile of shit. 236 00:09:44,724 --> 00:09:47,329 - Fuck off. Close the lid. - Yeah, fucking close it. - Yeah, yeah, well, I am gonna. 237 00:09:47,362 --> 00:09:48,666 - I just said that, didn't I? - Stop talking. Fucking close the lid. 238 00:09:48,699 --> 00:09:50,536 Fucking... Whoa. 239 00:09:51,838 --> 00:09:53,174 Real fairies. 240 00:09:53,207 --> 00:09:55,445 Well, go on, then. 241 00:09:55,478 --> 00:09:57,115 They smelled like shit. 242 00:09:57,149 --> 00:09:58,652 - Oh, wicker baskets. I love these! - No. 243 00:09:58,686 --> 00:10:01,157 You don't need any more wicker bask... Oh! Sorry. 244 00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:05,131 What human dare mingle amongst us? 245 00:10:05,165 --> 00:10:07,336 Uh, I'm not a human. 246 00:10:07,369 --> 00:10:08,505 Um... 247 00:10:08,539 --> 00:10:09,507 I'm an orc. 248 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,884 - My mistake. Have a good one. - Yeah. 249 00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,788 Thank you. 250 00:10:16,822 --> 00:10:18,892 Do I really look that much like an orc? 251 00:10:18,926 --> 00:10:20,663 All right! 252 00:10:20,696 --> 00:10:22,600 Excellent. You will love this! 253 00:10:22,634 --> 00:10:24,704 - What, what is this? - This is the familiar fights! 254 00:10:24,738 --> 00:10:27,376 - Wait, what? - I haven't been to one of these in ages. 255 00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:29,480 And another sort of weak, 256 00:10:29,514 --> 00:10:31,317 flailing blow to the paunch. 257 00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:33,488 Neither of these two in any condition to be fighting. 258 00:10:33,522 --> 00:10:36,561 Basically, a vampire will say, "I have the toughest familiar." 259 00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:37,897 And then another vampire will be like, 260 00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,934 "No, my familiar is even tougher." 261 00:10:39,968 --> 00:10:42,607 And then they get the familiars to fight each other, 262 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,145 and whichever familiar kicks the shit out of the other familiar, 263 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,480 he is the winner. 264 00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:47,850 That sounds absolutely terrible. 265 00:10:47,884 --> 00:10:49,320 Crush his bones! Yeah! 266 00:10:49,353 --> 00:10:50,523 Look at him go. 267 00:10:50,556 --> 00:10:52,627 That's got to not hurt that much. 268 00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:55,165 Oh, yeah. I think we should break the arm. 269 00:10:55,198 --> 00:10:56,535 Break his arm! 270 00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:57,937 Don't break his arm. Oh! 271 00:10:57,970 --> 00:10:59,239 That's nothing. In the old days, 272 00:10:59,273 --> 00:11:01,243 they used to tear the head off. 273 00:11:01,277 --> 00:11:03,448 What are we thinking, folks? Should we do the head? 274 00:11:03,481 --> 00:11:05,553 - Oh, great, they're still doing that. Yes! - Oh, no. 275 00:11:05,586 --> 00:11:07,422 - No, shouldn't do the head. - ALL Head! Head! Head! Head! 276 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,865 Head! Head! Head! 277 00:11:11,898 --> 00:11:14,804 Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head... 278 00:11:14,838 --> 00:11:16,273 I think I want to do the head. 279 00:11:16,307 --> 00:11:17,810 - Yay! - Head! Head! Head! Head! 280 00:11:20,850 --> 00:11:22,653 Give it up for our new familiar 281 00:11:22,687 --> 00:11:24,691 champion, this piece of shit right here. 282 00:11:24,724 --> 00:11:26,661 How are you supporting this? It's so wrong in so many ways. 283 00:11:26,695 --> 00:11:28,297 You're right, it is. 284 00:11:28,331 --> 00:11:30,301 'Cause you could take any of these guys. 285 00:11:30,335 --> 00:11:32,239 That's besides the point. Hey! 286 00:11:32,272 --> 00:11:34,611 This vampire here thinks that his familiar 287 00:11:34,644 --> 00:11:36,681 can beat any of our familiars! 288 00:11:39,319 --> 00:11:40,756 - Prove it! - Take off that tailcoat. 289 00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:42,527 - Yes, okay, let's do it, come on. - No. 290 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,896 I'm not gonna do it. I'm not doing it. 291 00:11:43,929 --> 00:11:45,566 - Come on, let's do it. - I'm not... 292 00:11:45,599 --> 00:11:47,503 - doing it. - Right. 293 00:11:47,537 --> 00:11:48,839 Uh, no, no. 294 00:11:48,872 --> 00:11:51,310 My familiar will not be fighting tonight. 295 00:11:52,914 --> 00:11:54,651 Boring! 296 00:11:54,684 --> 00:11:57,523 Why? Is the little guy scared? 297 00:11:57,557 --> 00:11:59,928 - No! - No, Master... 298 00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:01,832 the only thing my familiar is scared of 299 00:12:01,865 --> 00:12:03,902 is beating all of your familiars 300 00:12:03,936 --> 00:12:07,476 all at once, 'cause that's how tough my familiar is. 301 00:12:07,510 --> 00:12:08,812 Keep dreaming! 302 00:12:08,846 --> 00:12:09,848 Oh, them's fighting words. 303 00:12:09,881 --> 00:12:11,383 Why did you say that? 304 00:12:11,417 --> 00:12:12,620 They insulted you, Guillermo. 305 00:12:12,653 --> 00:12:14,758 And insulting you is insulting me. 306 00:12:14,791 --> 00:12:16,494 It is a matter of honor now. 307 00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,297 Okay, he wants in! He wants in! Oh! 308 00:12:18,331 --> 00:12:19,768 He's gonna get it! 309 00:12:19,801 --> 00:12:20,903 You're gonna get it. 310 00:12:20,936 --> 00:12:22,840 What's your name, little buddy? 311 00:12:22,874 --> 00:12:24,711 No one gives a shit. 312 00:12:32,459 --> 00:12:33,762 So, my trading is going very well. 313 00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,365 To the Valkyries I gave 314 00:12:35,398 --> 00:12:36,968 the vase, and then they gave me 315 00:12:37,002 --> 00:12:38,839 their rarest delicacy-- 316 00:12:38,872 --> 00:12:40,910 the little meatballs in the brown water. 317 00:12:40,943 --> 00:12:44,016 I don't know why Valkyries sell meatballs 318 00:12:44,049 --> 00:12:46,487 and furniture, but I'm not going to criticize 319 00:12:46,521 --> 00:12:48,057 the ways of other cultures. 320 00:12:48,090 --> 00:12:49,326 The little tiny meatballs, 321 00:12:49,359 --> 00:12:50,563 I traded with the Imps, 322 00:12:50,596 --> 00:12:52,633 'cause the Imps love tiny foods. 323 00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:54,804 Thanks, guys. 324 00:12:54,838 --> 00:12:56,474 It's a comedy T-shirt! 325 00:12:56,508 --> 00:12:58,879 I just know that there's going to be someone 326 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,916 who very much wants to trade for this. 327 00:13:00,950 --> 00:13:02,452 You got this, Guillermo! 328 00:13:03,722 --> 00:13:05,960 Just hit him! Just hit him! 329 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:08,599 That's got to be the Dodge of the Night-- Dodge of the Night, 330 00:13:08,632 --> 00:13:10,468 brought to you by Dodge Ram trucks. 331 00:13:10,503 --> 00:13:12,439 Check out the new 2022 Ram Pickup at your local... 332 00:13:12,472 --> 00:13:13,909 Look, I don't want to hurt you, okay? 333 00:13:13,942 --> 00:13:15,478 Don't run away from him! 334 00:13:15,513 --> 00:13:17,015 Hit him! 335 00:13:17,048 --> 00:13:18,552 Whoa! 336 00:13:18,585 --> 00:13:20,088 That little fucker can move. 337 00:13:20,121 --> 00:13:21,858 Sorry. Are you okay? 338 00:13:21,892 --> 00:13:23,795 - That's my fucking guy! - I didn't touch him. 339 00:13:23,829 --> 00:13:25,331 He did it to himself, okay? 340 00:13:25,365 --> 00:13:26,801 Zero blows taken, zero landed. 341 00:13:26,835 --> 00:13:28,572 They can't all be bloodbaths, folks. 342 00:13:28,605 --> 00:13:31,043 But we have ourselves 343 00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:33,649 a new winner-- this guy! Yes! Suck it! 344 00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,586 Suck it! Let's have 345 00:13:35,619 --> 00:13:37,322 another fight. Hopefully he dies. 346 00:13:40,061 --> 00:13:42,465 Now, my point is, sometimes 347 00:13:42,499 --> 00:13:44,771 grownups lie to children when the truth 348 00:13:44,804 --> 00:13:46,775 is too horrifying for them. 349 00:13:46,808 --> 00:13:49,346 - For instance, that Pinocchio there. - Whoa. 350 00:13:49,379 --> 00:13:51,852 See his nose-- don't stare-- it's just a medical condition. 351 00:13:51,885 --> 00:13:53,856 - It's got bugger all to do with lying. - Oh. 352 00:13:53,889 --> 00:13:56,595 - And as far as I know, he was never a puppet. - Okay. 353 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,966 - Behind us, see those garden gnomes? - Yeah. 354 00:13:58,999 --> 00:14:01,638 Well, they're real. Think they look happy? I guess. 355 00:14:01,671 --> 00:14:03,474 They're not. They're shit scared. 356 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,013 - You stare at them, they freeze. - That's sad. 357 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:08,417 And sometimes grownups lie to children 358 00:14:08,451 --> 00:14:10,589 - 'cause the truth is just so boring. - Okay. 359 00:14:10,623 --> 00:14:13,562 - Now, you've read The Emperor's New Clothes, right? - Uh-huh. 360 00:14:13,595 --> 00:14:14,998 Well, here's one now. 361 00:14:15,031 --> 00:14:16,902 So, he's just a common German nudist. 362 00:14:16,935 --> 00:14:19,707 And behind him is a witch. 363 00:14:19,741 --> 00:14:21,978 They're very real, and one day, they'll fight 364 00:14:22,012 --> 00:14:23,815 - to get hold of your semen. - Oh. 365 00:14:23,849 --> 00:14:26,153 - But not in a fun way. - What's semen? 366 00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:30,663 Hit him! Hit him! 367 00:14:30,696 --> 00:14:32,567 I'm not gonna hit him, okay? 368 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,671 Okay, that was really close to my face. 369 00:14:34,704 --> 00:14:36,875 Come on, don't play with our food. 370 00:14:36,908 --> 00:14:38,845 For me, just him just once! 371 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:42,452 And another high-flying capoeira kick that does nothing. 372 00:14:42,485 --> 00:14:43,855 Look, we don't have to do this, okay? 373 00:14:43,889 --> 00:14:45,759 We're both familiars. 374 00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:47,462 So why don't we just sha... Smoke in the face. 375 00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,932 - That's got to hurt. - Don't let him do that, hey! 376 00:14:48,966 --> 00:14:51,538 Whoa! Oh! What the... 377 00:14:51,571 --> 00:14:54,042 I'm just trying to talk to you like a regular person. 378 00:14:54,076 --> 00:14:56,514 You're being kind of a fucking dick, okay? 379 00:14:56,548 --> 00:14:58,484 - Yeah, now hit him! - Look, we don't have to do this. We're both human. 380 00:14:58,518 --> 00:15:00,889 - Come on! - Okay! Are you okay?! 381 00:15:00,923 --> 00:15:02,860 You're dead! Finish him! Hit him! 382 00:15:02,893 --> 00:15:04,897 Now it seems like the hot one's running out of steam. 383 00:15:04,931 --> 00:15:06,601 Are you okay? 384 00:15:06,635 --> 00:15:08,204 Stop talking to him and just hit him, Guillermo! 385 00:15:08,237 --> 00:15:10,108 You know, nowadays there's really no reason to smoke. 386 00:15:10,141 --> 00:15:11,978 He's going down! Hit him! 387 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,481 Now our familiar's having an asthma attack. 388 00:15:13,515 --> 00:15:15,519 - Is there a doctor? - Ay... 389 00:15:15,552 --> 00:15:17,489 Is someone a doctor? Somebody? 390 00:15:17,523 --> 00:15:18,491 We're not hurting anyone to... 391 00:15:18,525 --> 00:15:20,161 Aw, fuck. 392 00:15:20,194 --> 00:15:21,698 And we have ourselves a winner again. 393 00:15:21,731 --> 00:15:22,934 Suck it! 394 00:15:22,967 --> 00:15:24,202 - You suck it! You suck it! - Yay. 395 00:15:24,236 --> 00:15:26,541 He won again. Yay. 396 00:15:26,574 --> 00:15:28,077 It's this way. 397 00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:30,816 So, the night market kind of goes on forever. 398 00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:32,687 Afternoon. 399 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,859 It's sort of infinite and it has dark, dirtier sides. 400 00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,462 Bit like me. 401 00:15:37,495 --> 00:15:40,034 Nice place. 402 00:15:40,068 --> 00:15:42,807 Just gonna take a little look around or whatever. 403 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,478 Small skull, nice. 404 00:15:49,486 --> 00:15:51,591 You got some nice stuff. 405 00:15:51,625 --> 00:15:54,162 Not what I'm looking for, though. 406 00:15:54,196 --> 00:15:56,768 I think what I'm looking for... 407 00:15:56,801 --> 00:16:00,475 might be something that you might put under the counter. 408 00:16:00,509 --> 00:16:02,713 How do I know you're not with some form 409 00:16:02,747 --> 00:16:04,851 of law enforcement? 410 00:16:04,884 --> 00:16:07,155 Hey! Fuck you, man. 411 00:16:07,188 --> 00:16:09,727 Would a cop have this? 412 00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:12,499 A piece of clothing with a very misogynistic joke 413 00:16:12,533 --> 00:16:14,469 that makes a complete mockery 414 00:16:14,504 --> 00:16:16,808 of common traffic safety laws. 415 00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:25,793 - Huh? Huh? - The bitch fell off. 416 00:16:25,826 --> 00:16:27,830 I think even my bitch would get a kick out of that. 417 00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:29,099 Yeah, she would. 418 00:16:29,132 --> 00:16:31,604 All right, you give me that shirt, 419 00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:33,608 I got what you're looking for. 420 00:16:33,642 --> 00:16:35,178 - I need eyes on it. - All right. 421 00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:36,681 Keep your knickers on. 422 00:16:36,715 --> 00:16:38,150 Let me have a look down here. 423 00:16:38,184 --> 00:16:39,554 Here we go. 424 00:16:39,587 --> 00:16:41,591 I think, uh, this 425 00:16:41,624 --> 00:16:43,227 is up your alley. 426 00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:45,766 We have a deal! Take the stupid shirt. 427 00:16:45,799 --> 00:16:47,168 Yes! We got a winner. 428 00:16:47,202 --> 00:16:48,705 He stole her glasses and she couldn't see. 429 00:16:48,739 --> 00:16:50,274 Boring. 430 00:16:50,308 --> 00:16:51,911 Give me my glasses back. 431 00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:55,586 I'm gonna give your glasses to your master. 432 00:16:55,619 --> 00:16:58,658 - Lot of jawboning going on. - Okay? 433 00:16:58,692 --> 00:17:00,929 Here you go. It was nice meeting you, okay? 434 00:17:00,963 --> 00:17:03,769 ...a little less hot air, but I present to you 435 00:17:03,802 --> 00:17:07,042 our new familiar champion, this guy right here. 436 00:17:07,075 --> 00:17:09,312 Never caught his name, never caught his name. 437 00:17:09,346 --> 00:17:11,718 And as a reward, 438 00:17:11,751 --> 00:17:13,822 what we all know humans love most. 439 00:17:13,855 --> 00:17:15,692 Some dried-up dog food. 440 00:17:15,726 --> 00:17:17,062 They love that shit. 441 00:17:17,095 --> 00:17:19,266 They love it. And now 442 00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:22,105 - it is time for our main event. - Yes. 443 00:17:22,138 --> 00:17:25,044 - Our champion familiar versus... - Oh, come on. 444 00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,182 our champion vampire, 445 00:17:27,215 --> 00:17:29,052 Gorgo the Murderer! 446 00:17:29,086 --> 00:17:30,956 Look at him! 447 00:17:30,989 --> 00:17:32,993 I'm gonna murder you so fucking hard. 448 00:17:33,027 --> 00:17:35,733 Undefeated when it comes to murder. - Aah! 449 00:17:35,766 --> 00:17:37,870 Give us one moment. 450 00:17:37,903 --> 00:17:39,941 Murder him! Murder him... 451 00:17:39,974 --> 00:17:41,611 You shouldn't fight this guy. 452 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,080 This is a guy that's gonna rip your head clean off. 453 00:17:43,114 --> 00:17:45,051 Actually, he's not. He's a vampire. 454 00:17:45,084 --> 00:17:46,855 And, remember, I'm a vampire-killer. 455 00:17:46,888 --> 00:17:48,925 Oh, yes, I always forget that. 456 00:17:48,959 --> 00:17:50,596 Okay then, go kill him! Go kill him! 457 00:17:50,629 --> 00:17:51,598 Go kill him! Go! 458 00:17:51,631 --> 00:17:52,833 Just one second. 459 00:17:52,867 --> 00:17:54,236 Sorry, once second. What? 460 00:17:55,271 --> 00:17:57,308 What's gonna happen when a room full of vampires sees 461 00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:59,881 a familiar kill a vampire for the first time? 462 00:17:59,914 --> 00:18:01,718 Good point. Wait. 463 00:18:01,751 --> 00:18:03,187 I think I have an idea. 464 00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:05,726 - We leave? - No. 465 00:18:05,759 --> 00:18:09,801 Vampires! 466 00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:11,170 Can I just... Give me that. 467 00:18:11,203 --> 00:18:13,675 Vampires, a fight 468 00:18:13,708 --> 00:18:15,879 between this poor familiar... 469 00:18:17,716 --> 00:18:19,887 ...my closest companion for 13 years? 470 00:18:19,921 --> 00:18:21,958 Yeah! - Against this 471 00:18:21,991 --> 00:18:24,630 ruthless vampire? 472 00:18:24,664 --> 00:18:26,233 This is sick! This is... 473 00:18:26,266 --> 00:18:28,638 Sorry. Can I just... 474 00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:30,843 Thank you. This is... Not you. 475 00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,212 This is sick! 476 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,049 But you know what would 477 00:18:34,082 --> 00:18:35,786 be even more sick? 478 00:18:35,819 --> 00:18:38,090 What? - A battle 479 00:18:38,124 --> 00:18:39,660 between him 480 00:18:39,694 --> 00:18:41,230 and me. 481 00:18:42,867 --> 00:18:44,269 Who wants to see me pulverize 482 00:18:44,302 --> 00:18:46,641 my closest companion of 13 years? 483 00:18:46,674 --> 00:18:48,778 - Yeah! - Who wants to see that? 484 00:18:48,812 --> 00:18:50,214 Kill your friend! 485 00:18:50,248 --> 00:18:53,922 Kill your friend! Kill your friend... 486 00:18:53,955 --> 00:18:56,226 Right! I'm going to kill my friend! 487 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,097 Kill your friend! Kill your friend! 488 00:19:03,174 --> 00:19:04,877 Oh, this isn't gonna take very long, ladies and germs. 489 00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,413 Kill my friend. 490 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,852 Kill your friend-- that's what we all want to see. 491 00:19:08,885 --> 00:19:10,722 All right, here we go, baby! 492 00:19:10,756 --> 00:19:12,827 - Circling... - Kill your friend! Kill your friend... 493 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,732 - circling... - I'm not gonna hurt you, Guillermo. 494 00:19:15,766 --> 00:19:17,335 I'm just gonna take you out with one punch, 495 00:19:17,368 --> 00:19:19,005 and then carry your body away. 496 00:19:19,039 --> 00:19:20,809 Don't you think we should put on 497 00:19:20,843 --> 00:19:22,212 a little bit of a show for them, at least? 498 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,249 It's implausible that it would take any longer 499 00:19:24,282 --> 00:19:26,420 than five seconds for me to beat you. 500 00:19:26,453 --> 00:19:29,392 Is it, though? I mean, remember last time? 501 00:19:29,426 --> 00:19:31,698 Hey! 502 00:19:31,731 --> 00:19:34,135 Please, I let you win to teach you a lesson. 503 00:19:34,169 --> 00:19:36,841 And, anyway, you did cheat just a little bit. 504 00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,377 I didn't cheat. 505 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:39,747 You did just a little bit. 506 00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:41,183 I didn't have to. 507 00:19:41,216 --> 00:19:43,153 Come on, this is boring! - Okay... 508 00:19:43,187 --> 00:19:45,358 little man, bring your best. 509 00:19:47,730 --> 00:19:50,802 Okay, looks like the little guy's voguing now. 510 00:19:50,836 --> 00:19:52,806 Whoa! 511 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,278 We got stakes! We got stakes. 512 00:19:55,311 --> 00:19:57,382 - You cheeky little shit! - Oh, the stakes are high. 513 00:19:57,415 --> 00:20:00,789 - Come here! - Oh, we got ourselves a fight, ladies and gentlemen. 514 00:20:00,822 --> 00:20:03,327 We got ourselves a fight. 515 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,064 Come on, kill your friend. 516 00:20:05,097 --> 00:20:07,001 Oh, and we're doing flips... 517 00:20:07,035 --> 00:20:08,972 He killed my friend. 518 00:20:09,005 --> 00:20:10,141 - What the fuck? - That was a mistake. 519 00:20:10,174 --> 00:20:11,343 Stop throwing stakes. 520 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,380 - It's rude. - Keep going, or... 521 00:20:13,414 --> 00:20:15,919 Eh. 522 00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:18,190 Holy shit, he's Phantom Menacing. 523 00:20:18,224 --> 00:20:20,494 Lot of flash. 524 00:20:20,529 --> 00:20:22,866 Regular Darth Maul, Jr. over here. 525 00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:25,806 I call him Darth Small. 526 00:20:25,839 --> 00:20:27,342 - Whoa! - Aah! 527 00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:29,012 Boom goes the dynamite! 528 00:20:29,045 --> 00:20:30,949 I am the winner! 529 00:20:30,983 --> 00:20:32,285 Uhp, and look, and there he goes. He's on the run. 530 00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:33,855 That's right, you don't fuck with me! 531 00:20:33,888 --> 00:20:35,324 Dumb move to run from a vampire. 532 00:20:35,358 --> 00:20:37,495 - I am the winner! - Then again, he is a familiar. 533 00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:40,101 And they're known for being dumb pieces of shit. 534 00:20:40,134 --> 00:20:41,804 Uh, your friend's up there. 535 00:20:41,838 --> 00:20:43,073 The fuck? 536 00:20:43,107 --> 00:20:45,244 There he is, go! Kill him! 537 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,783 - Murder him! - Oh. 538 00:20:47,816 --> 00:20:50,254 That's nice. How much for this one? 539 00:20:51,824 --> 00:20:53,427 It's getting slicey. 540 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,799 We got a swordfight. 541 00:20:55,832 --> 00:20:57,435 Getting a little edgy. Whoa! 542 00:20:57,468 --> 00:20:59,907 Collateral damage, but we love to see it, folks. 543 00:20:59,941 --> 00:21:01,410 - Look what you made me do! - What? 544 00:21:01,443 --> 00:21:04,550 Guillermo, you're really starting to piss me off! 545 00:21:04,583 --> 00:21:06,420 Now he's swinging. It was your idea, remember?! 546 00:21:06,453 --> 00:21:08,390 Get back here! This is your plan! 547 00:21:08,424 --> 00:21:11,029 Stop hiding behind Greg! Why are you mad at me? 548 00:21:11,063 --> 00:21:13,300 Sorry, can I... - Is this still part of the game? 549 00:21:13,334 --> 00:21:15,371 Fuck you! Now we're getting somewhere. 550 00:21:15,404 --> 00:21:18,310 Okay, that fucking hurts, you fucking dick! 551 00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:19,981 Ah, you're disarmed! 552 00:21:22,418 --> 00:21:25,124 Get back. 553 00:21:25,157 --> 00:21:27,495 Aah! Shit. 554 00:21:27,529 --> 00:21:29,967 I guess Peter Pan can't fly. 555 00:21:30,001 --> 00:21:31,971 Oopsies. 556 00:21:32,005 --> 00:21:34,409 A predictable end, but an end 557 00:21:34,442 --> 00:21:36,046 - nonetheless. - Yeah! 558 00:21:36,079 --> 00:21:38,484 - Are you not entertained? - I killed my friend! 559 00:21:38,518 --> 00:21:40,254 I killed my friend! 560 00:21:40,287 --> 00:21:42,258 I may have killed my friend. 561 00:21:42,291 --> 00:21:44,295 Oh, shit! He's got a shovel! 562 00:21:44,329 --> 00:21:46,834 Hey-oh! 563 00:21:49,139 --> 00:21:52,111 Finish him! Finish him! 564 00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:54,382 Finish him! 565 00:21:54,416 --> 00:21:56,554 Finish him! Finish him! 566 00:21:56,587 --> 00:21:58,591 They are right, Guillermo. 567 00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:00,595 Finish me. 568 00:22:00,629 --> 00:22:03,868 Finish him! Finish him! Finish that motherfucker! 569 00:22:03,902 --> 00:22:05,404 Finish me! 570 00:22:05,438 --> 00:22:07,342 What kind of a vampire am I 571 00:22:07,375 --> 00:22:09,947 if cannot even defeat my own familiar?! 572 00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:11,517 I'm not gonna finish anyone, okay? 573 00:22:11,551 --> 00:22:13,521 I'm gonna let you win. 574 00:22:13,555 --> 00:22:16,561 I don't really want to kill you, but if it is the only way, 575 00:22:16,594 --> 00:22:19,132 - then thank you. - What? No. 576 00:22:19,165 --> 00:22:20,869 I don't mean really kill me. 577 00:22:20,902 --> 00:22:22,305 Just, like, pretend to snap my neck or something, 578 00:22:22,338 --> 00:22:24,109 so we can get the hell out of here. 579 00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:25,545 That's a much better plan. I want to see 580 00:22:25,579 --> 00:22:27,148 - the blood! - Ready? - Ready. 581 00:22:27,181 --> 00:22:30,087 Hey! 582 00:22:30,121 --> 00:22:33,093 Snap! Oh! Oh, oh, oh! 583 00:22:33,127 --> 00:22:35,532 He's dead as a doornail. 584 00:22:35,565 --> 00:22:38,571 Dead as doornail, ladies and gentlemen. 585 00:22:38,605 --> 00:22:41,511 We learned a lot tonight here at familiar fights. 586 00:22:41,544 --> 00:22:43,447 A lot about friendship, and how stupid 587 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,251 and false and artificial it is. 588 00:22:45,284 --> 00:22:47,021 You okay? Hey, folks, make sure 589 00:22:47,055 --> 00:22:48,457 to take your familiar corpses with you as you leave. 590 00:22:54,135 --> 00:22:56,473 One moment, I'll be right with you, Xerxes. 591 00:22:56,507 --> 00:22:58,945 So... 592 00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:01,083 we went to the night market last night. 593 00:23:01,116 --> 00:23:04,557 Oh, my, the night market, what fun. 594 00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:07,028 - Mm. - I already had plans last night, 595 00:23:07,061 --> 00:23:09,232 so it's a good thing I didn't get invited. 596 00:23:09,265 --> 00:23:11,336 And, here, I got you a gift. 597 00:23:11,369 --> 00:23:14,543 It came with these weird vials of whatever this is. 598 00:23:14,577 --> 00:23:17,448 I think I'll probably just keep all of these. 599 00:23:17,482 --> 00:23:20,187 And you can use the box to store your brooches or whatever. 600 00:23:20,221 --> 00:23:22,960 This is for me? This is so kind. 601 00:23:22,993 --> 00:23:25,231 I am very kind. Very good boss. 602 00:23:25,264 --> 00:23:27,468 I cannot remember the last time 603 00:23:27,503 --> 00:23:29,339 someone got me a gift. 604 00:23:29,372 --> 00:23:31,109 And I do have a lot of brooches. 605 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:33,915 - I didn't think anyone noticed... - Oh! 606 00:23:33,948 --> 00:23:35,251 You have detected 607 00:23:35,284 --> 00:23:37,288 the sweet, intoxicating scent of the... 608 00:23:37,321 --> 00:23:39,459 Water Lily of The Nile. 609 00:23:39,492 --> 00:23:41,697 - Haven't you, Xerxes? - Uh-oh. 610 00:23:41,731 --> 00:23:43,100 Water Lily 611 00:23:43,133 --> 00:23:44,169 of the Nile. 612 00:23:44,202 --> 00:23:45,271 That is what they call it. 613 00:23:45,304 --> 00:23:47,008 It's a medicinal flower. 614 00:23:47,041 --> 00:23:49,012 It's a narcotic that the Egyptians 615 00:23:49,045 --> 00:23:51,082 used to bury with their dead in order 616 00:23:51,116 --> 00:23:53,420 to help ease the sufferings of the afterlife. 617 00:23:53,454 --> 00:23:55,992 And according to the Compendium Narcoticum, 618 00:23:56,026 --> 00:23:58,631 Some third-rate cobbler... - it is the only drug 619 00:23:58,665 --> 00:24:00,635 that helps with the pain of being a wraith. 620 00:24:00,669 --> 00:24:02,271 Very hard to come by. 621 00:24:02,305 --> 00:24:04,075 And it is said 622 00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:06,547 that those little gobshites will do anything for it. 623 00:24:07,549 --> 00:24:11,156 Do I have enough of these to give to all of the wraiths? No. 624 00:24:11,189 --> 00:24:13,695 Do I have enough of these to give to the one wraith 625 00:24:13,728 --> 00:24:16,233 who tells all the other wraiths what to do? 626 00:24:16,266 --> 00:24:18,237 Maybe. 627 00:24:18,270 --> 00:24:21,243 I think that is probably all I need. 628 00:24:21,276 --> 00:24:23,180 Don't you?! 629 00:24:23,213 --> 00:24:25,017 He won't do it. 630 00:24:25,050 --> 00:24:26,654 Union solidarity is a big deal to them. 631 00:24:26,687 --> 00:24:28,525 "We have a deal." 632 00:24:28,558 --> 00:24:30,494 There you go. Pleasure doing business with you. 633 00:24:30,529 --> 00:24:32,131 That's how it's done. 634 00:24:33,433 --> 00:24:36,373 I don't think they're happy. 635 00:24:36,406 --> 00:24:40,214 If they all vote, he can overrule them, right? 636 00:24:40,247 --> 00:24:42,653 What? 637 00:24:42,686 --> 00:24:44,022 Oh! 638 00:24:44,055 --> 00:24:46,727 Oh, no! 639 00:24:46,761 --> 00:24:48,765 Mm, shit, shit, shit. 640 00:24:48,798 --> 00:24:52,171 "Xerxes is no longer our leader. 641 00:24:52,205 --> 00:24:55,144 Also, he is dead." Obviously. 642 00:24:55,177 --> 00:24:56,647 Fine! Fuck it! 643 00:24:56,681 --> 00:24:58,718 You can have Mondays off with pay. 644 00:24:58,751 --> 00:25:00,254 And I will build you five 645 00:25:00,287 --> 00:25:02,124 new supply closets for you to sleep in. 646 00:25:06,767 --> 00:25:09,005 Now get back to work! 647 00:25:11,276 --> 00:25:13,013 There we go. 648 00:25:13,046 --> 00:25:14,583 I know you've had a disappointing day, 649 00:25:14,617 --> 00:25:17,154 so no rehearsal tonight. 650 00:25:17,188 --> 00:25:19,593 Would you like me to read one of your fairy stories to you? 651 00:25:19,627 --> 00:25:21,463 Uh, that's okay. I-I don't think 652 00:25:21,496 --> 00:25:23,668 I want to read those anymore. 653 00:25:23,701 --> 00:25:25,805 Maybe, can you read me something 654 00:25:25,839 --> 00:25:28,343 from one of your real books about real stuff? 655 00:25:28,377 --> 00:25:30,281 I thought you'd never ask. 656 00:25:32,553 --> 00:25:35,424 One of my personal favorites. Oh, yes. 657 00:25:35,457 --> 00:25:38,196 "The village of Holcomb stands 658 00:25:38,230 --> 00:25:41,504 "on the high wheat plains of western Kansas, 659 00:25:41,537 --> 00:25:45,077 a lonesome area that other Kansans call 'out there.'" 660 00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:47,348 - Are you still awake? - Um, yeah. 661 00:25:47,381 --> 00:25:49,620 It gets very heavy from here on in. 662 00:25:49,653 --> 00:25:53,460 ♪ This little piggy went to market ♪ 663 00:25:53,493 --> 00:25:58,203 ♪ And this little piggy stayed home ♪ 664 00:25:58,237 --> 00:26:02,478 ♪ This little piggy had roast beef ♪ 665 00:26:02,512 --> 00:26:06,821 ♪ This little piggy had none ♪ 666 00:26:07,823 --> 00:26:09,425 ♪ How I recall ♪ 667 00:26:09,459 --> 00:26:12,331 ♪ My dear old mother ♪ 668 00:26:12,365 --> 00:26:17,074 ♪ Putting me to bed ♪ 669 00:26:17,108 --> 00:26:20,849 ♪ She tucked me in and said ♪ 670 00:26:20,882 --> 00:26:25,759 ♪ To her little sleepyhead ♪ 671 00:26:25,792 --> 00:26:28,430 ♪ This little piggy ♪ 672 00:26:28,463 --> 00:26:32,606 ♪ Stayed home. ♪ 673 00:26:32,639 --> 00:26:36,142 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 48961

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