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1
00:00:06,812 --> 00:00:08,205
Business is
2
00:00:08,215 --> 00:00:10,275
booming at the nightclub, baby!
3
00:00:10,285 --> 00:00:11,645
Cheers.
4
00:00:11,655 --> 00:00:13,015
? Let's face the music ?
5
00:00:13,025 --> 00:00:14,054
? And dance... ?
6
00:00:14,064 --> 00:00:16,530
That little
tap-dancing freak that clawed
7
00:00:16,540 --> 00:00:18,091
its way out of the abdominal cavity
8
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:19,320
of dead Colin Robinson
9
00:00:19,330 --> 00:00:21,197
is causing such a buzz.
10
00:00:21,207 --> 00:00:24,772
We are pulling in
capacity crowds of vampires
11
00:00:24,782 --> 00:00:26,275
and humans night after night.
12
00:00:26,285 --> 00:00:27,913
The only real problem,
13
00:00:27,923 --> 00:00:30,296
apart from the blood
sprinklers clogging yet again,
14
00:00:30,306 --> 00:00:32,375
is the fucking employees.
15
00:00:32,385 --> 00:00:33,945
How many of our patrons have died
16
00:00:33,955 --> 00:00:36,717
in wraith-related accidents
in the last week alone?
17
00:00:36,727 --> 00:00:38,821
- Five.
- What? Five?!
18
00:00:42,772 --> 00:00:44,366
But, you know, four of them were human.
19
00:00:44,376 --> 00:00:46,470
Yeah, okay, that's not so bad then.
20
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,041
But still, what is going on
with these wraiths?
21
00:00:49,051 --> 00:00:51,444
Maybe they are having issues
22
00:00:51,454 --> 00:00:53,551
with how they're being treated.
23
00:00:53,561 --> 00:00:56,390
I gave them jobs. I'd say that's
pretty bloody good treatment.
24
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,326
Yes, but you do make them
sleep in the supply closet.
25
00:00:59,336 --> 00:01:00,899
Well, it is better
than sleeping in the street.
26
00:01:00,909 --> 00:01:02,704
You can remind them of that.
27
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,873
Maybe if you just listened to them
28
00:01:04,883 --> 00:01:07,625
and heard them out...
Their concerns, you know, and...
29
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,083
- You know...
- Hold it, hold it.
30
00:01:10,093 --> 00:01:12,879
Are they intentionally underperforming
in order to get their way?
31
00:01:12,889 --> 00:01:14,660
You know, it does seem
like they've organized
32
00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:17,357
- some sort of labor action.
- This...
33
00:01:17,367 --> 00:01:19,503
- I know how to handle.
- Ah.
34
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:20,802
Kill them all.
35
00:01:57,522 --> 00:02:00,391
? One, two, three, four. ?
36
00:02:00,401 --> 00:02:03,858
? There may be trouble ahead ?
37
00:02:03,868 --> 00:02:06,229
- Come on.
- ? But while there's music ?
38
00:02:06,239 --> 00:02:08,567
? And moonlight and... ?
39
00:02:08,577 --> 00:02:11,172
Uh, I-I forgot the words, Laszlo.
40
00:02:11,182 --> 00:02:12,842
What is this tomfoolery?
41
00:02:12,852 --> 00:02:14,204
This is a rehearsal for you,
42
00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:16,354
- not for me.
- But, Lazzo, guess what?
43
00:02:16,364 --> 00:02:18,086
- You're tired.
- I'm tired.
44
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,090
I-I'm at a really good part
of my book and I...
45
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:21,827
Not the fucking book again.
Give it to me.
46
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,029
I-I don't have it.
47
00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:24,766
Yes, you do, boy.
48
00:02:24,776 --> 00:02:26,704
You've tucked it
in the back of your trouser.
49
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,655
- Give it to me.
- Fine.
50
00:02:28,665 --> 00:02:29,908
Fairy tales?
51
00:02:29,918 --> 00:02:31,245
This is bullshit.
52
00:02:31,255 --> 00:02:33,818
And highly inaccurate.
"Little Red Riding Hood"?
53
00:02:33,828 --> 00:02:35,622
You know,
that's a tale about a gruesome,
54
00:02:35,632 --> 00:02:37,626
unsolved child abduction.
55
00:02:37,636 --> 00:02:39,061
That's not true. I don't believe you.
56
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,598
Really? You're an expert, are you?
57
00:02:40,608 --> 00:02:42,836
What about this one, "Rumpelstiltskin"?
58
00:02:42,846 --> 00:02:44,740
"Rumpled dick skin," more like.
59
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:46,644
You know that's how he got
his name, this chap?
60
00:02:46,654 --> 00:02:49,363
- Doesn't say that in the book.
- What's "dick skin"?
61
00:02:49,373 --> 00:02:51,687
What is dick skin?
That's a bloody good question.
62
00:02:51,697 --> 00:02:53,958
And not one that you should be asking.
63
00:02:53,968 --> 00:02:56,039
Let's get on with the last song.
64
00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:58,968
So you will be meeting with Xerxes.
65
00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:01,940
Okay? He's the one
that they've elected leader.
66
00:03:01,950 --> 00:03:03,678
- Oh!
- And here he is. May I present Xerxes.
67
00:03:03,688 --> 00:03:06,059
Hello, X... rexes.
68
00:03:06,718 --> 00:03:08,514
Xerxes, why don't you start?
69
00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:10,153
He says,
70
00:03:10,163 --> 00:03:13,631
"Thank you for taking the time
to work through these issues."
71
00:03:13,641 --> 00:03:15,000
Very good. Oh.
72
00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:18,543
"We have a list of demands
to be addressed."
73
00:03:18,553 --> 00:03:20,678
- Fine.
- "Number one.
74
00:03:20,688 --> 00:03:23,049
"We require more than one break
75
00:03:23,059 --> 00:03:24,886
"a day so that we may haunt
76
00:03:24,896 --> 00:03:26,890
the descendants of our transgressors."
77
00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:29,161
We would all like to have
more time for our hobbies.
78
00:03:29,171 --> 00:03:31,239
"Number two.
79
00:03:31,249 --> 00:03:34,873
"We will not be blamed
for all phantom smells at work.
80
00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:38,046
"This is an old building
with old pipes, and the smells
81
00:03:38,056 --> 00:03:40,318
emanating therefrom
are out of our control."
82
00:03:40,328 --> 00:03:41,800
Okay! Enough!
83
00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:44,693
I have given you
and your weird faceless friends
84
00:03:44,703 --> 00:03:47,332
a job and a lovely,
warm supply closet to sleep in.
85
00:03:47,342 --> 00:03:50,271
Without me, you would have nothing.
86
00:03:50,281 --> 00:03:51,807
Goodbye. Gam�sou.
87
00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:54,245
I don't have time for this skat�.
88
00:03:54,255 --> 00:03:55,633
Mm.
89
00:03:55,643 --> 00:03:57,686
"That went well."
90
00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,648
Think that's supposed to be a joke.
91
00:03:59,658 --> 00:04:02,094
Wraiths aren't really known
for their sense of humor.
92
00:04:02,104 --> 00:04:03,942
"'Twas upon the fourth year
93
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,768
"of the Nine Years' War
94
00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:08,674
"that the battles of Barfleur
and La Hogue
95
00:04:08,684 --> 00:04:10,563
tested the will
of His Majesty's fleet..."
96
00:04:10,573 --> 00:04:13,298
- Can we please read one of my books?
- Absolutely not.
97
00:04:13,308 --> 00:04:15,755
- Please?
- Real books about real people
98
00:04:15,765 --> 00:04:17,358
concerning real things that happened.
99
00:04:17,368 --> 00:04:19,896
Oh, Laszlo, just read him
some of that baby bullshit
100
00:04:19,906 --> 00:04:21,633
- he likes so much.
- Yeah, maybe the one
101
00:04:21,643 --> 00:04:23,371
about the elves and the shoemaker.
102
00:04:23,381 --> 00:04:25,107
All right.
I'll tell you the real story.
103
00:04:25,117 --> 00:04:27,846
Some third-rate cobbler
ripped to the tits
104
00:04:27,856 --> 00:04:31,119
on formaldehyde fumes used
in his leather tanning process
105
00:04:31,129 --> 00:04:33,958
imagines he's seeing
little elves do all his work.
106
00:04:33,968 --> 00:04:35,661
Loses his business, kills himself.
107
00:04:35,671 --> 00:04:36,764
The end.
108
00:04:36,774 --> 00:04:38,734
Aha! Yes!
109
00:04:38,744 --> 00:04:40,772
This will do very nicely.
110
00:04:40,782 --> 00:04:43,566
Everyone! We're going
to the night market!
111
00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:46,850
A night market actually exists
in every single town.
112
00:04:46,860 --> 00:04:50,257
But it is always hidden from the
prying, pathetic eyes of humans.
113
00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:52,729
The night market is a bit like
114
00:04:52,739 --> 00:04:55,033
the famous Italian street fairs
115
00:04:55,043 --> 00:04:56,235
of Little Italy.
116
00:04:56,245 --> 00:04:57,872
Very diverse.
117
00:04:57,882 --> 00:05:00,311
Lots of different cultures represented.
118
00:05:00,321 --> 00:05:02,047
Sticky shit all over the ground.
119
00:05:02,057 --> 00:05:06,323
And a good place to pillage
or barter tchotchkes.
120
00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:09,195
It is truly the only place where
we can set aside our differences
121
00:05:09,205 --> 00:05:11,132
and work towards a common goal:
122
00:05:11,142 --> 00:05:14,105
to fuck the other guy
before he fucks you!
123
00:05:14,115 --> 00:05:15,151
- It's just a work thing.
- Okay.
124
00:05:15,161 --> 00:05:16,242
I'll call you after. I love...
125
00:05:16,252 --> 00:05:19,115
What do you require from
the night market, my darling?
126
00:05:19,125 --> 00:05:21,219
Oh, you know,
just a special little something
127
00:05:21,229 --> 00:05:23,324
to help try and solve
my wraith labor problem.
128
00:05:23,334 --> 00:05:25,127
Will it be safe
for someone like me to go?
129
00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:27,197
- Meaning as a human?
- I don't care.
130
00:05:27,207 --> 00:05:28,901
- Yeah, do not worry, Guillermo.
- Hurry up.
131
00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:31,139
If anyone asks, just say
you're an orc or some shit.
132
00:05:31,149 --> 00:05:32,886
Well, I don't look like an orc.
133
00:05:33,854 --> 00:05:35,113
- Do I?
- Mm.
134
00:05:35,123 --> 00:05:36,963
You could pass.
135
00:05:37,428 --> 00:05:40,090
I am very excited for this trip
as well.
136
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,693
Even though we live in the same house,
137
00:05:41,703 --> 00:05:44,165
it's so rare that Nandor asks me along
138
00:05:44,175 --> 00:05:46,436
when he has an outing
with his friends, so...
139
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:49,241
You know what? I changed my mind.
140
00:05:49,251 --> 00:05:52,247
- Nice work.
- I think I'd rather just stay home.
141
00:05:52,257 --> 00:05:56,390
Oh, no. Marwa, this is
a big fat bummer I am hearing.
142
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,725
But, okay, fine. I miss you already.
143
00:05:57,735 --> 00:05:59,665
- Bye.
- Come on.
144
00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:02,045
Of course Marwa is my one true love.
145
00:06:02,055 --> 00:06:04,339
But she's always hanging around.
146
00:06:04,349 --> 00:06:08,530
Sometimes it's just more fun
to hang with just the boys.
147
00:06:15,338 --> 00:06:17,592
Yes. This is the one that goes
to the night market. Come on. Come.
148
00:06:17,602 --> 00:06:18,868
- Come on, boy.
- I'm going.
149
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,016
- Quickly, quickly.
- Are you sure about this?
150
00:06:20,026 --> 00:06:23,209
This looks like
a regular train full of normal people.
151
00:06:23,219 --> 00:06:25,348
How dare you question me.
152
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,090
Ah. Attention, ladies and gentlemen!
153
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:32,996
If I could just have
a few moments of your time.
154
00:06:33,006 --> 00:06:35,334
I'm trying to raise money
for my Uncle Jeffrey.
155
00:06:35,344 --> 00:06:36,470
He needs a new heart.
156
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,108
So please enjoy this performance
157
00:06:39,118 --> 00:06:42,307
and know that anything
you can give, anything,
158
00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:44,195
will help.
159
00:06:56,453 --> 00:06:58,122
Oh, wow.
160
00:07:02,064 --> 00:07:04,759
Disgusting.
161
00:07:11,249 --> 00:07:12,605
That is dynamite.
162
00:07:12,615 --> 00:07:14,279
All right!
163
00:07:14,289 --> 00:07:16,048
If you're still here,
you know why you're here.
164
00:07:16,058 --> 00:07:18,755
- Next stop, the night market.
- Told you.
165
00:07:18,765 --> 00:07:20,291
- He was fantastic.
- Well done.
166
00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:22,261
- Are you still doing requests?
- Not for a couple hours.
167
00:07:22,271 --> 00:07:25,076
- Ah.
- Ooh. Looks pretty busy.
168
00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,204
Okay. Everyone.
169
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,440
Come on, boy. Don't get lost.
170
00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:30,311
- Come on.
- Exciting.
171
00:07:30,321 --> 00:07:31,980
Night market awaits.
172
00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:34,786
Holy cow. Look at all of this.
173
00:07:34,796 --> 00:07:37,926
- This is pretty cool.
- Put that down. They're overpriced.
174
00:07:37,936 --> 00:07:40,130
Darling, maybe it's
time to get you a new coffin.
175
00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:43,270
- No.
- Put your kids in cages!
176
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:44,539
Witches.
177
00:07:44,549 --> 00:07:46,276
Yes, how much for that one up there?
178
00:07:46,286 --> 00:07:48,314
- You don't need any more cages.
- Shh!
179
00:07:48,324 --> 00:07:50,484
While it is
progressive that the night market
180
00:07:50,494 --> 00:07:52,927
is a safe space for all of demonkind,
181
00:07:52,937 --> 00:07:55,940
sadly, we have no one form
of currency between us all,
182
00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:57,932
so we have to rely on the old ways.
183
00:07:57,942 --> 00:07:59,068
Stinks. Oh.
184
00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:00,859
AKA the bartering system.
185
00:08:00,869 --> 00:08:02,442
Lots of people usually end up dead.
186
00:08:02,452 --> 00:08:04,546
I say, do you have
any historical books?
187
00:08:04,556 --> 00:08:05,691
I do, sir.
188
00:08:05,701 --> 00:08:07,318
Luckily, I come from a long line
189
00:08:07,328 --> 00:08:09,356
of highly-skilled hagglers.
190
00:08:09,366 --> 00:08:11,225
My giagi�, she once traded
just a little bit
191
00:08:11,235 --> 00:08:14,366
of her thigh meat
for a whole bag of onions.
192
00:08:14,376 --> 00:08:17,405
So, yeah, I think
I know what I'm doing.
193
00:08:17,415 --> 00:08:18,751
We're here.
194
00:08:22,825 --> 00:08:24,286
Hey, girlfriends!
195
00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:25,888
How's it hanging?
196
00:08:25,898 --> 00:08:27,558
- Ja.
- Ja.
197
00:08:27,568 --> 00:08:30,030
Valkyries are a group of maidens
198
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,417
who were sent by the gods
to the Viking battlefields
199
00:08:32,427 --> 00:08:34,204
so they could choose
who amongst the slain
200
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,576
they thought was worthy
of a place in Valhalla.
201
00:08:36,586 --> 00:08:38,881
They are, um, interesting folk.
202
00:08:38,891 --> 00:08:40,484
Eh. They're quite...
203
00:08:40,494 --> 00:08:41,853
They've got zero banter.
204
00:08:41,863 --> 00:08:44,836
Absolutely no laughs whatsoever.
205
00:08:46,272 --> 00:08:47,865
Okay.
206
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:50,604
Hold on to your huvudbonader, ladies,
207
00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:53,944
because I don't think you'll
find this little tasty piece
208
00:08:53,954 --> 00:08:56,450
while antiquing in Connecticut.
209
00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:58,865
Note the cobalt blue glaze.
210
00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:00,620
The white base.
211
00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:02,328
And use of porcelain interior.
212
00:09:02,338 --> 00:09:03,540
- Ja.
- Ja.
213
00:09:03,872 --> 00:09:05,501
I literally
214
00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:08,036
just grabbed this from Nandor's
room before I left the house.
215
00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:11,480
Now, what do your books
tell you about fairies?
216
00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:15,388
Well, fairies are pretty little
women that can fly around,
217
00:09:15,398 --> 00:09:16,957
and they live in mushrooms.
218
00:09:16,967 --> 00:09:18,293
Really? A likely story.
219
00:09:18,303 --> 00:09:19,562
What do we have here?
220
00:09:19,572 --> 00:09:21,400
A rancid pail of garbage.
221
00:09:22,678 --> 00:09:24,339
Hello, my beauties.
222
00:09:24,349 --> 00:09:25,908
- Laszlo! - Laszlo!
- You're looking...
223
00:09:25,918 --> 00:09:27,378
healthy.
224
00:09:27,388 --> 00:09:28,447
Yeah, we've been eating garbage.
225
00:09:28,457 --> 00:09:30,985
Yeah. Love to chat, but, uh...
226
00:09:30,995 --> 00:09:32,231
got things to do.
227
00:09:32,241 --> 00:09:34,109
Enjoy your pile of shit.
228
00:09:34,119 --> 00:09:36,055
- Fuck off. Close the lid.
- Yeah, fucking close it.
229
00:09:36,065 --> 00:09:37,273
- Yeah, yeah, well, I am gonna.
- Stop talking.
230
00:09:37,283 --> 00:09:38,467
- I just said that, didn't I?
- Stop talking. Fucking close the lid.
231
00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:40,314
Fucking... Whoa.
232
00:09:41,616 --> 00:09:42,975
Real fairies.
233
00:09:42,985 --> 00:09:44,877
Well, go on, then.
234
00:09:44,887 --> 00:09:46,645
- Yeah.
- They smelled like shit.
235
00:09:46,655 --> 00:09:48,454
- Oh, wicker baskets. I love these!
- No.
236
00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:50,935
You don't need any more
wicker bask... Oh! Sorry.
237
00:09:51,428 --> 00:09:54,933
What human dare mingle amongst us?
238
00:09:54,943 --> 00:09:57,137
Uh, I'm not a human.
239
00:09:57,147 --> 00:09:58,307
Um...
240
00:09:58,317 --> 00:09:59,572
I'm an orc.
241
00:10:02,224 --> 00:10:04,662
- My mistake. Have a good one.
- Yeah.
242
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,007
Thank you.
243
00:10:07,017 --> 00:10:08,694
Do I really look that much like an orc?
244
00:10:08,704 --> 00:10:10,464
All right!
245
00:10:10,474 --> 00:10:12,402
Excellent. You will love this!
246
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,506
- What, what is this?
- This is the familiar fights!
247
00:10:14,516 --> 00:10:15,789
- Wait, what?
- I haven't been to one
248
00:10:15,799 --> 00:10:17,177
of these in ages.
249
00:10:17,187 --> 00:10:19,282
And another sort of weak,
250
00:10:19,292 --> 00:10:21,118
flailing blow to the paunch.
251
00:10:21,128 --> 00:10:23,107
Neither of these two
in any condition to be fighting.
252
00:10:23,117 --> 00:10:26,363
Basically, a vampire will say,
"I have the toughest familiar."
253
00:10:26,373 --> 00:10:27,971
And then another vampire will be like,
254
00:10:27,981 --> 00:10:29,736
"No, my familiar is even tougher."
255
00:10:29,746 --> 00:10:32,408
And then they get the familiars
to fight each other,
256
00:10:32,418 --> 00:10:34,946
and whichever familiar kicks the
shit out of the other familiar,
257
00:10:34,956 --> 00:10:36,096
he is the winner.
258
00:10:36,106 --> 00:10:37,652
That sounds absolutely terrible.
259
00:10:37,662 --> 00:10:40,324
- Crush his bones! Yeah!
- Look at him go.
260
00:10:40,334 --> 00:10:42,428
That's got to not hurt that much.
261
00:10:42,438 --> 00:10:44,966
Oh, yeah. I think
we should break the arm.
262
00:10:44,976 --> 00:10:46,336
Break his arm!
263
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:47,738
- Don't break his arm.
- Oh!
264
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,251
That's nothing. In the old days,
265
00:10:49,261 --> 00:10:51,045
they used to tear the head off.
266
00:10:51,055 --> 00:10:52,433
What are we thinking, folks?
Should we do the head?
267
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,973
Oh, great, they're still doing that.
268
00:10:53,983 --> 00:10:55,199
- Yes!
- Oh, no.
269
00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:57,224
- No, shouldn't do the head.
- Head! Head! Head! Head!
270
00:10:57,234 --> 00:11:00,230
Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head!
271
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,666
Head! Head! Head!
272
00:11:01,676 --> 00:11:04,606
Head! Head! Head! Head!
Head! Head! Head...
273
00:11:04,616 --> 00:11:06,075
I think I want to do the head.
274
00:11:06,085 --> 00:11:07,612
- Yay!
- Head! Head! Head! Head!
275
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,455
Give it up for our new familiar
276
00:11:12,465 --> 00:11:14,492
champion, this
piece of shit right here.
277
00:11:14,502 --> 00:11:16,463
How are you supporting this?
It's so wrong in so many ways.
278
00:11:16,473 --> 00:11:18,099
You're right, it is.
279
00:11:18,109 --> 00:11:20,103
'Cause you could take
any of these guys.
280
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,834
- That's besides the point.
- Hey!
281
00:11:21,844 --> 00:11:24,412
This vampire here thinks
that his familiar
282
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:26,483
can beat any of our familiars!
283
00:11:29,097 --> 00:11:30,558
- Prove it!
- Take off that tailcoat.
284
00:11:30,568 --> 00:11:32,328
- Yes, okay, let's do it, come on.
- No.
285
00:11:32,338 --> 00:11:33,523
I'm not gonna do it. I'm not doing it.
286
00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:35,097
- Come on, let's do it.
- I'm not...
287
00:11:35,107 --> 00:11:37,305
- doing it.
- Right.
288
00:11:37,315 --> 00:11:38,529
Uh, no, no.
289
00:11:38,539 --> 00:11:41,111
My familiar will not
be fighting tonight.
290
00:11:42,692 --> 00:11:44,452
Boring!
291
00:11:44,462 --> 00:11:47,325
Why? Is the little guy scared?
292
00:11:47,335 --> 00:11:49,729
- No!
- No, Master...
293
00:11:49,739 --> 00:11:51,867
the only thing my familiar is scared of
294
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,704
is beating all of your familiars
295
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:57,278
all at once, 'cause that's
how tough my familiar is.
296
00:11:57,288 --> 00:11:58,614
Keep dreaming!
297
00:11:58,624 --> 00:11:59,649
Oh, them's fighting words.
298
00:11:59,659 --> 00:12:01,185
Why did you say that?
299
00:12:01,195 --> 00:12:02,421
They insulted you, Guillermo.
300
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,559
And insulting you is insulting me.
301
00:12:04,569 --> 00:12:06,145
It is a matter of honor now.
302
00:12:06,155 --> 00:12:08,099
- Okay, he wants in!
- He wants in! Oh!
303
00:12:08,109 --> 00:12:09,547
He's gonna get it!
304
00:12:09,557 --> 00:12:10,601
You're gonna get it.
305
00:12:10,611 --> 00:12:12,030
What's your name, little buddy?
306
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,001
No one gives a shit. Let's fight.
307
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,375
So, my trading is going very well.
308
00:12:23,385 --> 00:12:25,038
To the Valkyries I gave
309
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:28,512
the vase, and then they gave me
their rarest delicacy...
310
00:12:28,522 --> 00:12:30,583
The little meatballs
in the brown water.
311
00:12:30,593 --> 00:12:33,689
I don't know why
Valkyries sell meatballs
312
00:12:33,699 --> 00:12:36,161
and furniture,
but I'm not going to criticize
313
00:12:36,171 --> 00:12:37,730
the ways of other cultures.
314
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:38,999
The little tiny meatballs,
315
00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,236
I traded with the Imps,
316
00:12:40,246 --> 00:12:42,307
'cause the Imps love tiny foods.
317
00:12:42,317 --> 00:12:43,816
Thanks, guys.
318
00:12:44,488 --> 00:12:46,357
It's a comedy T-shirt!
319
00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,552
I just know that
there's going to be someone
320
00:12:48,562 --> 00:12:50,590
who very much wants to trade for this.
321
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,126
You got this, Guillermo!
322
00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,633
Just hit him! Just hit him!
323
00:12:55,643 --> 00:12:58,272
That's got to be the Dodge
of the Night... Dodge of the Night,
324
00:12:58,282 --> 00:13:00,143
brought to you by Dodge Ram trucks.
325
00:13:00,153 --> 00:13:02,112
Check out the new 2022
Ram Pickup at your local...
326
00:13:02,122 --> 00:13:03,582
Look, I don't want to hurt you, okay?
327
00:13:03,592 --> 00:13:05,153
Don't run away from him!
328
00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,688
Hit him!
329
00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:08,225
Whoa!
330
00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:09,738
That little fucker can move.
331
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,189
Sorry. Are you okay?
332
00:13:11,199 --> 00:13:13,469
- That's my fucking guy!
- I didn't touch him.
333
00:13:13,479 --> 00:13:15,005
He did it to himself, okay?
334
00:13:15,015 --> 00:13:16,475
Zero blows taken, zero landed.
335
00:13:16,485 --> 00:13:18,223
They can't all be bloodbaths, folks.
336
00:13:18,233 --> 00:13:19,240
But
337
00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:21,651
we have ourselves a new winner...
338
00:13:21,661 --> 00:13:22,850
- Yes!
- This guy!
339
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:24,497
Suck it! Suck it!
340
00:13:24,507 --> 00:13:26,972
Let's have
another fight. Hopefully he dies.
341
00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:31,848
Now, my point is, sometimes
342
00:13:31,858 --> 00:13:34,130
grownups lie to children when the truth
343
00:13:34,454 --> 00:13:36,448
is too horrifying for them.
344
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:39,019
- For instance, that Pinocchio there.
- Whoa.
345
00:13:39,029 --> 00:13:41,750
See his nose... don't
stare... it's just a medical condition.
346
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,746
- It's got bugger all to do with lying.
- Oh.
347
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,753
And as far as I know,
he was never a puppet.
348
00:13:45,763 --> 00:13:47,161
- Okay.
- Behind us,
349
00:13:47,171 --> 00:13:48,617
- see those garden gnomes?
- Yeah.
350
00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:49,752
Well, they're real.
351
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,311
- Think they look happy?
- I guess.
352
00:13:51,321 --> 00:13:53,149
They're not. They're shit scared.
353
00:13:53,159 --> 00:13:55,686
- You stare at them, they freeze.
- That's sad.
354
00:13:55,696 --> 00:13:58,091
And sometimes grownups lie to children
355
00:13:58,101 --> 00:14:00,263
- 'cause the truth is just so boring.
- Okay.
356
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,535
Now, you've read The
Emperor's New Clothes, right?
357
00:14:02,545 --> 00:14:04,671
- Uh-huh.
- Well, here's one now.
358
00:14:04,681 --> 00:14:06,575
So, he's just a common German nudist.
359
00:14:06,585 --> 00:14:09,110
And behind him is a witch.
360
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,652
They're very real,
and one day, they'll fight
361
00:14:11,662 --> 00:14:13,489
- to get hold of your semen.
- Oh.
362
00:14:13,499 --> 00:14:15,826
- But not in a fun way.
- What's semen?
363
00:14:17,518 --> 00:14:19,561
Hit him! Hit him!
364
00:14:19,571 --> 00:14:22,240
I'm not gonna hit him, okay?
365
00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:24,344
Okay, that was really close to my face.
366
00:14:24,354 --> 00:14:26,548
Come on, don't play with our food.
367
00:14:26,558 --> 00:14:28,519
For me, just him just once!
368
00:14:28,529 --> 00:14:31,712
And another high-flying
capoeira kick that does nothing.
369
00:14:31,722 --> 00:14:33,529
Look, we don't have to do this, okay?
370
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,132
We're both familiars.
371
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:37,135
- So why don't we just sha...
- Smoke in the face.
372
00:14:37,145 --> 00:14:38,606
- That's got to hurt.
- Don't let him do that, hey!
373
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:41,211
Whoa! Oh! What the...
374
00:14:41,221 --> 00:14:43,716
I'm just trying to talk to you
like a regular person.
375
00:14:43,726 --> 00:14:46,132
You're being kind
of a fucking dick, okay?
376
00:14:46,142 --> 00:14:47,185
Yeah, now hit him!
377
00:14:47,195 --> 00:14:48,203
Look, we don't have to
do this. We're both human.
378
00:14:48,213 --> 00:14:50,563
- Come on!
- Okay! Are you okay?!
379
00:14:50,573 --> 00:14:52,533
You're dead! Finish him! Hit him!
380
00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,571
Now it seems like the hot one's
running out of steam.
381
00:14:54,581 --> 00:14:56,275
Are you okay?
382
00:14:56,285 --> 00:14:57,877
Stop talking to him
and just hit him, Guillermo!
383
00:14:57,887 --> 00:14:59,781
You know, nowadays there's
really no reason to smoke.
384
00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:01,652
He's going down! Hit him!
385
00:15:01,662 --> 00:15:03,155
Now our
familiar's having an asthma attack.
386
00:15:03,165 --> 00:15:05,192
- Is there a doctor?
- Ay...
387
00:15:05,202 --> 00:15:07,068
Is someone a doctor? Somebody?
388
00:15:07,078 --> 00:15:08,165
We're not hurting anyone to...
389
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:09,834
Aw, fuck.
390
00:15:09,844 --> 00:15:11,371
And we have ourselves a winner again.
391
00:15:11,381 --> 00:15:12,607
Suck it!
392
00:15:12,617 --> 00:15:13,876
- You suck it! You suck it!
- Yay.
393
00:15:13,886 --> 00:15:16,214
He won again. Yay.
394
00:15:16,224 --> 00:15:17,750
It's this way.
395
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,489
So, the night market
kind of goes on forever.
396
00:15:20,499 --> 00:15:22,150
Afternoon.
397
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,533
It's sort of infinite
and it has dark, dirtier sides.
398
00:15:25,543 --> 00:15:27,112
Bit like me.
399
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:29,708
Nice place.
400
00:15:29,718 --> 00:15:32,058
Just gonna take a little
look around or whatever.
401
00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:35,152
Small skull, nice.
402
00:15:39,136 --> 00:15:41,265
You got some nice stuff.
403
00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:43,836
Not what I'm looking for, though.
404
00:15:43,846 --> 00:15:46,441
I think what I'm looking for...
405
00:15:46,451 --> 00:15:48,737
might be something that you might put
406
00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:50,149
under the counter.
407
00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:53,034
How do I know you're
not with some form of...
408
00:15:53,044 --> 00:15:54,524
law enforcement?
409
00:15:54,534 --> 00:15:56,828
Hey! Fuck you, man.
410
00:15:56,838 --> 00:15:58,955
Would a cop have this?
411
00:15:58,965 --> 00:16:02,173
A piece of clothing
with a very misogynistic joke
412
00:16:02,183 --> 00:16:04,144
that makes a complete mockery
413
00:16:04,154 --> 00:16:06,637
of common traffic safety laws.
414
00:16:12,670 --> 00:16:15,466
- Huh? Huh?
- The bitch fell off.
415
00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:17,503
I think even my bitch
would get a kick out of that.
416
00:16:17,513 --> 00:16:18,772
Yeah, she would.
417
00:16:18,782 --> 00:16:21,278
All right, you give me that shirt,
418
00:16:21,288 --> 00:16:23,282
I got what you're looking for.
419
00:16:23,292 --> 00:16:24,851
- I need eyes on it.
- All right.
420
00:16:24,861 --> 00:16:26,355
Keep your knickers on.
421
00:16:26,365 --> 00:16:27,824
Let me have a look down here.
422
00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,227
Here we go.
423
00:16:29,237 --> 00:16:31,264
I think, uh, this
424
00:16:31,274 --> 00:16:32,900
is up your alley.
425
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,439
We have a deal! Take the stupid shirt.
426
00:16:35,449 --> 00:16:36,819
- Yes!
- We got a winner.
427
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,398
He stole her glasses
and she couldn't see.
428
00:16:39,408 --> 00:16:41,585
- Boring.
- Give me my glasses back.
429
00:16:41,595 --> 00:16:43,035
I'm gonna give
430
00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:45,259
your glasses to your master.
431
00:16:45,269 --> 00:16:47,182
Lot of jawboning going on.
432
00:16:47,192 --> 00:16:48,696
Okay? Here you go.
433
00:16:48,706 --> 00:16:50,603
It was nice meeting you, okay?
434
00:16:50,613 --> 00:16:53,442
A little less hot air,
but I present to you
435
00:16:53,452 --> 00:16:56,715
our new familiar champion,
this guy right here.
436
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,986
Never caught his name,
never caught his name.
437
00:16:58,996 --> 00:17:01,391
And as a reward,
438
00:17:01,401 --> 00:17:03,472
what we all know humans love most.
439
00:17:04,143 --> 00:17:05,366
Some dried-up dog food.
440
00:17:05,376 --> 00:17:06,735
They love that shit.
441
00:17:06,745 --> 00:17:08,939
They love it. And now
442
00:17:08,949 --> 00:17:11,778
- it is time for our main event.
- Yes.
443
00:17:11,788 --> 00:17:15,197
- Our champion familiar versus...
- Oh, come on.
444
00:17:15,207 --> 00:17:16,855
Our champion vampire,
445
00:17:16,865 --> 00:17:18,726
Gorgo the Murderer!
446
00:17:18,736 --> 00:17:20,629
Look at him!
447
00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:22,667
I'm gonna murder you so fucking hard.
448
00:17:22,677 --> 00:17:24,444
Undefeated when it comes to murder.
449
00:17:24,454 --> 00:17:25,591
Aah!
450
00:17:25,989 --> 00:17:27,543
Give us one moment.
451
00:17:27,553 --> 00:17:29,614
Murder him! Murder him...
452
00:17:29,624 --> 00:17:31,284
You shouldn't fight this guy.
453
00:17:31,294 --> 00:17:32,754
This is a guy that's gonna
rip your head clean off.
454
00:17:32,764 --> 00:17:34,724
Actually, he's not. He's a vampire.
455
00:17:34,734 --> 00:17:36,528
And, remember, I'm a vampire-killer.
456
00:17:36,538 --> 00:17:38,314
Oh, yes, I always forget that.
457
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:40,269
Okay then, go kill him! Go kill him!
458
00:17:40,279 --> 00:17:41,424
Go kill him! Go!
459
00:17:41,434 --> 00:17:42,507
Just one second.
460
00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:43,886
Sorry, once second. What?
461
00:17:44,921 --> 00:17:46,982
What's gonna happen when a room
full of vampires sees
462
00:17:46,992 --> 00:17:49,554
a familiar kill a vampire
for the first time?
463
00:17:49,564 --> 00:17:51,391
Good point. Wait.
464
00:17:51,401 --> 00:17:52,860
I think I have an idea.
465
00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:54,787
- We leave?
- No.
466
00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:59,474
Vampires!
467
00:17:59,484 --> 00:18:00,843
Can I just... Give me that.
468
00:18:00,853 --> 00:18:03,348
Vampires, a fight
469
00:18:03,358 --> 00:18:05,553
between this poor familiar...
470
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,561
my closest companion for 13 years?
471
00:18:09,571 --> 00:18:11,631
- Yeah!
- Against this
472
00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:14,281
ruthless vampire?
473
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:15,505
This is sick!
474
00:18:15,955 --> 00:18:17,039
This is...
475
00:18:17,049 --> 00:18:19,177
Sorry. Can I just... Thank you.
476
00:18:19,187 --> 00:18:20,516
This is... Not you.
477
00:18:20,526 --> 00:18:21,863
This is sick!
478
00:18:21,873 --> 00:18:23,185
But you know
479
00:18:23,195 --> 00:18:25,459
what would be even more sick?
480
00:18:25,469 --> 00:18:27,764
- What?
- A battle
481
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,334
between him
482
00:18:29,344 --> 00:18:30,903
and me.
483
00:18:32,517 --> 00:18:33,942
Who wants to see me pulverize
484
00:18:33,952 --> 00:18:36,314
my closest companion of 13 years?
485
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,452
- Yeah!
- Who wants to see that?
486
00:18:38,462 --> 00:18:39,888
Kill your friend!
487
00:18:39,898 --> 00:18:43,595
Kill your friend! Kill your friend...
488
00:18:43,605 --> 00:18:45,524
Right! I'm going to kill my friend!
489
00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:47,371
Kill your friend! Kill your friend!
490
00:18:47,381 --> 00:18:49,218
Kill your friend! Kill your friend!
491
00:18:52,267 --> 00:18:54,528
Oh, this isn't gonna take
very long, ladies and germs.
492
00:18:54,538 --> 00:18:55,559
Kill my friend.
493
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:58,250
Kill your friend...
That's what we all want to see.
494
00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:00,097
All right, here we go, baby!
495
00:19:00,832 --> 00:19:02,500
- Circling...
- Kill your friend! Kill your friend...
496
00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:03,762
circling...
497
00:19:03,772 --> 00:19:05,406
I'm not gonna hurt you, Guillermo.
498
00:19:05,416 --> 00:19:07,361
I'm just gonna take you out
with one punch,
499
00:19:07,371 --> 00:19:08,978
and then carry your body away.
500
00:19:08,988 --> 00:19:10,483
Don't you think we should put on
501
00:19:10,493 --> 00:19:11,885
a little bit of a show
for them, at least?
502
00:19:11,895 --> 00:19:13,922
It's implausible
that it would take any longer
503
00:19:13,932 --> 00:19:15,659
than five seconds for me to beat you.
504
00:19:16,103 --> 00:19:19,066
Is it, though?
I mean, remember last time?
505
00:19:19,076 --> 00:19:21,371
Hey!
506
00:19:21,381 --> 00:19:23,809
Please, I let you win
to teach you a lesson.
507
00:19:23,819 --> 00:19:26,515
And, anyway, you did cheat
just a little bit.
508
00:19:26,525 --> 00:19:28,050
I didn't cheat.
509
00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:29,420
You did just a little bit.
510
00:19:29,430 --> 00:19:30,856
I didn't have to.
511
00:19:30,866 --> 00:19:32,827
- Come on, this is boring!
- Okay...
512
00:19:32,837 --> 00:19:35,031
little man, bring your best.
513
00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:40,476
Okay, looks
like the little guy's voguing now.
514
00:19:40,486 --> 00:19:42,480
Whoa!
515
00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:44,951
We got stakes! We got stakes.
516
00:19:44,961 --> 00:19:46,745
- You cheeky little shit!
- Oh, the stakes are high.
517
00:19:46,755 --> 00:19:47,769
Come here!
518
00:19:47,779 --> 00:19:50,462
Oh, we got ourselves a
fight, ladies and gentlemen.
519
00:19:50,472 --> 00:19:53,000
We got ourselves a fight.
520
00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:54,737
Come on, kill your friend.
521
00:19:54,747 --> 00:19:56,651
Oh, and we're doing flips...
522
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,430
He killed my friend.
523
00:19:58,440 --> 00:19:59,595
- What the fuck?
- That was a mistake.
524
00:19:59,605 --> 00:20:01,016
Stop throwing stakes.
525
00:20:01,026 --> 00:20:03,054
- It's rude.
- Keep going, or...
526
00:20:03,064 --> 00:20:04,728
Eh.
527
00:20:05,985 --> 00:20:08,043
Holy shit, he's Phantom Menacing.
528
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,145
Lot of flash.
529
00:20:10,155 --> 00:20:12,687
Regular Darth Maul, Jr. over here.
530
00:20:12,697 --> 00:20:15,479
I call him Darth Small.
531
00:20:15,489 --> 00:20:16,833
- Whoa!
- Aah!
532
00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:18,663
Boom goes the dynamite!
533
00:20:18,673 --> 00:20:20,338
I am the winner!
534
00:20:20,348 --> 00:20:21,958
Uhp, and look,
and there he goes. He's on the run.
535
00:20:21,968 --> 00:20:23,287
That's right, you don't fuck with me!
536
00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:24,998
Dumb move to run from a vampire.
537
00:20:25,008 --> 00:20:27,169
- I am the winner!
- Then again, he is a familiar.
538
00:20:27,179 --> 00:20:29,774
And they're known
for being dumb pieces of shit.
539
00:20:29,784 --> 00:20:31,478
Uh, your friend's up there.
540
00:20:31,488 --> 00:20:32,747
The fuck?
541
00:20:32,757 --> 00:20:34,918
There he is, go! Kill him!
542
00:20:34,928 --> 00:20:37,456
- Murder him!
- Oh.
543
00:20:37,466 --> 00:20:39,928
That's nice. How much for this one?
544
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,100
It's getting slicey.
545
00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:45,472
We got a swordfight.
546
00:20:45,482 --> 00:20:47,108
Getting a little edgy. Whoa!
547
00:20:47,118 --> 00:20:49,105
Collateral damage, but we love
to see it, folks.
548
00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,083
- Look what you made me do!
- What?
549
00:20:51,093 --> 00:20:54,223
Guillermo, you're really
starting to piss me off!
550
00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:56,093
- Now he's swinging.
- It was your idea, remember?
551
00:20:56,103 --> 00:20:57,791
- Get back here!
- This is your plan!
552
00:20:57,801 --> 00:21:00,407
- Stop hiding behind Greg!
- Why are you mad at me?
553
00:21:00,417 --> 00:21:02,655
- Sorry, can I...
- Is this still part of the game?
554
00:21:02,665 --> 00:21:03,849
Fuck you!
555
00:21:03,859 --> 00:21:05,044
Now we're getting somewhere.
556
00:21:05,054 --> 00:21:07,984
Okay, that fucking hurts,
you fucking dick!
557
00:21:07,994 --> 00:21:09,631
Ah, you're disarmed!
558
00:21:12,068 --> 00:21:14,797
Get back.
559
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:17,145
- Aah!
- Shit.
560
00:21:18,259 --> 00:21:20,078
I guess Peter Pan can't fly.
561
00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:21,621
Oopsies.
562
00:21:22,032 --> 00:21:24,082
A predictable end, but an end
563
00:21:24,092 --> 00:21:25,719
- nonetheless.
- Yeah!
564
00:21:25,729 --> 00:21:28,158
- Are you not entertained?
- I killed my friend!
565
00:21:28,168 --> 00:21:29,927
I killed my friend!
566
00:21:29,937 --> 00:21:31,931
I may have killed my friend.
567
00:21:31,941 --> 00:21:33,969
Oh, shit! He's got a shovel!
568
00:21:33,979 --> 00:21:36,485
Hey-oh!
569
00:21:38,569 --> 00:21:41,785
Finish him! Finish him!
570
00:21:41,795 --> 00:21:44,056
Finish him!
571
00:21:44,066 --> 00:21:46,674
Finish him! Finish him!
572
00:21:46,684 --> 00:21:48,265
They are right, Guillermo.
573
00:21:48,275 --> 00:21:50,269
Finish me.
574
00:21:50,279 --> 00:21:53,542
- Finish him! Finish him!
- Finish that motherfucker!
575
00:21:53,552 --> 00:21:55,078
Finish me!
576
00:21:55,088 --> 00:21:57,015
What kind of a vampire am I
577
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:59,620
if cannot even defeat my own familiar?!
578
00:21:59,630 --> 00:22:01,191
I'm not gonna finish anyone, okay?
579
00:22:01,201 --> 00:22:03,195
I'm gonna let you win.
580
00:22:03,205 --> 00:22:06,234
I don't really want to kill you,
but if it is the only way,
581
00:22:06,244 --> 00:22:08,805
- then thank you.
- What? No.
582
00:22:08,815 --> 00:22:10,303
I don't mean really kill me.
583
00:22:10,313 --> 00:22:11,717
Just, like, pretend to snap
my neck or something,
584
00:22:11,727 --> 00:22:13,782
so we can get the hell out of here.
585
00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:15,219
- That's a much better plan.
- I want to see the blood!
586
00:22:15,229 --> 00:22:16,821
- Ready?
- Ready.
587
00:22:16,831 --> 00:22:19,761
Hey!
588
00:22:19,771 --> 00:22:22,767
Snap! Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
589
00:22:22,777 --> 00:22:25,205
He's dead as a doornail.
590
00:22:25,215 --> 00:22:28,245
Dead as doornail, ladies and gentlemen.
591
00:22:28,255 --> 00:22:30,801
We learned a lot tonight here
at familiar fights.
592
00:22:30,811 --> 00:22:33,120
A lot about friendship, and how stupid
593
00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:34,924
and false and artificial it is.
594
00:22:34,934 --> 00:22:36,695
- You okay?
- Hey, folks, make sure
595
00:22:36,705 --> 00:22:39,568
to take your familiar corpses
with you as you leave.
596
00:22:43,785 --> 00:22:46,147
One moment,
I'll be right with you, Xerxes.
597
00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:48,618
So...
598
00:22:48,628 --> 00:22:50,756
we went to the night market last night.
599
00:22:50,766 --> 00:22:54,230
Oh, my, the night market, what fun.
600
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,701
- Mm.
- I already had plans last night,
601
00:22:56,711 --> 00:22:58,905
so it's a good thing
I didn't get invited.
602
00:22:58,915 --> 00:23:01,009
And, here, I got you a gift.
603
00:23:01,019 --> 00:23:04,193
It came with these weird vials
of whatever this is.
604
00:23:04,506 --> 00:23:07,122
I think I'll probably
just keep all of these.
605
00:23:07,132 --> 00:23:09,861
And you can use the box to store
your brooches or whatever.
606
00:23:09,871 --> 00:23:12,633
This is for me? This is so kind.
607
00:23:12,643 --> 00:23:14,904
I am very kind. Very good boss.
608
00:23:14,914 --> 00:23:17,143
I cannot remember the last time
609
00:23:17,153 --> 00:23:19,012
someone got me a gift.
610
00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:20,783
And I do have a lot of brooches.
611
00:23:20,793 --> 00:23:23,588
- I didn't think anyone noticed...
- Oh!
612
00:23:23,598 --> 00:23:24,743
You have detected
613
00:23:24,753 --> 00:23:26,961
the sweet, intoxicating scent of the...
614
00:23:26,971 --> 00:23:29,132
Water Lily of The Nile.
615
00:23:29,142 --> 00:23:30,860
- Haven't you, Xerxes?
- Uh-oh.
616
00:23:31,381 --> 00:23:33,546
Water Lily of the Nile.
617
00:23:33,556 --> 00:23:34,944
That is what they call it.
618
00:23:34,954 --> 00:23:36,681
It's a medicinal flower.
619
00:23:36,691 --> 00:23:38,685
It's a narcotic that the Egyptians
620
00:23:38,695 --> 00:23:40,756
used to bury with their dead in order
621
00:23:40,766 --> 00:23:43,094
to help ease the sufferings
of the afterlife.
622
00:23:43,104 --> 00:23:45,666
And according
to the Compendium Narcoticum,
623
00:23:45,676 --> 00:23:48,305
- Some third-rate cobbler...
- it is the only drug
624
00:23:48,315 --> 00:23:50,469
that helps with the pain
of being a wraith.
625
00:23:50,479 --> 00:23:52,310
Very hard to come by.
626
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,749
And it is said
627
00:23:53,759 --> 00:23:56,392
that those little gobshites
will do anything for it.
628
00:23:57,199 --> 00:24:00,829
Do I have enough of these to
give to all of the wraiths? No.
629
00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:03,368
Do I have enough of these
to give to the one wraith
630
00:24:03,378 --> 00:24:05,906
who tells all the other wraiths
what to do?
631
00:24:05,916 --> 00:24:07,910
Maybe.
632
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,916
I think that is probably all I need.
633
00:24:10,926 --> 00:24:12,831
Don't you?!
634
00:24:12,841 --> 00:24:14,199
He won't do it.
635
00:24:14,209 --> 00:24:16,411
Union solidarity is a big deal to them.
636
00:24:16,421 --> 00:24:18,198
"We have a deal."
637
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:20,169
There you go. Pleasure
doing business with you.
638
00:24:20,179 --> 00:24:21,781
That's how it's done.
639
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,046
I don't think they're happy.
640
00:24:26,056 --> 00:24:29,887
If they all vote,
he can overrule them, right?
641
00:24:29,897 --> 00:24:32,326
What?
642
00:24:32,336 --> 00:24:33,695
Oh!
643
00:24:33,705 --> 00:24:36,401
Oh, no!
644
00:24:36,411 --> 00:24:38,415
Mm, shit, shit, shit.
645
00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:41,845
"Xerxes is no longer our leader.
646
00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:44,659
Also, he is dead." Obviously.
647
00:24:44,669 --> 00:24:46,321
Fine! Fuck it!
648
00:24:46,331 --> 00:24:48,193
You can have Mondays off with pay.
649
00:24:48,203 --> 00:24:49,756
And I will build you five
650
00:24:49,766 --> 00:24:51,774
new supply closets for you to sleep in.
651
00:24:56,256 --> 00:24:58,494
Now get back to work!
652
00:25:00,926 --> 00:25:02,434
There we go.
653
00:25:02,444 --> 00:25:04,257
I know you've had a disappointing day,
654
00:25:04,267 --> 00:25:06,828
so no rehearsal tonight.
655
00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:09,267
Would you like me to read one
of your fairy stories to you?
656
00:25:09,277 --> 00:25:10,599
Uh, that's okay.
657
00:25:10,609 --> 00:25:13,341
I-I don't think
I want to read those anymore.
658
00:25:13,351 --> 00:25:15,479
Maybe, can you read me something
659
00:25:15,489 --> 00:25:18,017
from one of your real books
about real stuff?
660
00:25:18,027 --> 00:25:19,931
I thought you'd never ask.
661
00:25:22,203 --> 00:25:23,972
One of my personal favorites.
662
00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:25,097
Oh, yes.
663
00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:26,779
"The village of Holcomb
664
00:25:26,789 --> 00:25:29,011
"stands on the high wheat plains
665
00:25:29,021 --> 00:25:31,177
"of western Kansas,
666
00:25:31,187 --> 00:25:34,750
a lonesome area that other
Kansans call 'out there.'"
667
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,354
- Are you still awake?
- Um, yeah.
668
00:25:37,364 --> 00:25:39,293
It gets very heavy from here on in.
669
00:25:39,695 --> 00:25:42,219
- Synced & corrected by L0tech -
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