All language subtitles for What We Do in the Shadows 4x04 - The Night Market (English)

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,812 --> 00:00:08,205 Business is 2 00:00:08,215 --> 00:00:10,275 booming at the nightclub, baby! 3 00:00:10,285 --> 00:00:11,645 Cheers. 4 00:00:11,655 --> 00:00:13,015 ? Let's face the music ? 5 00:00:13,025 --> 00:00:14,054 ? And dance... ? 6 00:00:14,064 --> 00:00:16,530 That little tap-dancing freak that clawed 7 00:00:16,540 --> 00:00:18,091 its way out of the abdominal cavity 8 00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:19,320 of dead Colin Robinson 9 00:00:19,330 --> 00:00:21,197 is causing such a buzz. 10 00:00:21,207 --> 00:00:24,772 We are pulling in capacity crowds of vampires 11 00:00:24,782 --> 00:00:26,275 and humans night after night. 12 00:00:26,285 --> 00:00:27,913 The only real problem, 13 00:00:27,923 --> 00:00:30,296 apart from the blood sprinklers clogging yet again, 14 00:00:30,306 --> 00:00:32,375 is the fucking employees. 15 00:00:32,385 --> 00:00:33,945 How many of our patrons have died 16 00:00:33,955 --> 00:00:36,717 in wraith-related accidents in the last week alone? 17 00:00:36,727 --> 00:00:38,821 - Five. - What? Five?! 18 00:00:42,772 --> 00:00:44,366 But, you know, four of them were human. 19 00:00:44,376 --> 00:00:46,470 Yeah, okay, that's not so bad then. 20 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,041 But still, what is going on with these wraiths? 21 00:00:49,051 --> 00:00:51,444 Maybe they are having issues 22 00:00:51,454 --> 00:00:53,551 with how they're being treated. 23 00:00:53,561 --> 00:00:56,390 I gave them jobs. I'd say that's pretty bloody good treatment. 24 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,326 Yes, but you do make them sleep in the supply closet. 25 00:00:59,336 --> 00:01:00,899 Well, it is better than sleeping in the street. 26 00:01:00,909 --> 00:01:02,704 You can remind them of that. 27 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,873 Maybe if you just listened to them 28 00:01:04,883 --> 00:01:07,625 and heard them out... Their concerns, you know, and... 29 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,083 - You know... - Hold it, hold it. 30 00:01:10,093 --> 00:01:12,879 Are they intentionally underperforming in order to get their way? 31 00:01:12,889 --> 00:01:14,660 You know, it does seem like they've organized 32 00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:17,357 - some sort of labor action. - This... 33 00:01:17,367 --> 00:01:19,503 - I know how to handle. - Ah. 34 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:20,802 Kill them all. 35 00:01:57,522 --> 00:02:00,391 ? One, two, three, four. ? 36 00:02:00,401 --> 00:02:03,858 ? There may be trouble ahead ? 37 00:02:03,868 --> 00:02:06,229 - Come on. - ? But while there's music ? 38 00:02:06,239 --> 00:02:08,567 ? And moonlight and... ? 39 00:02:08,577 --> 00:02:11,172 Uh, I-I forgot the words, Laszlo. 40 00:02:11,182 --> 00:02:12,842 What is this tomfoolery? 41 00:02:12,852 --> 00:02:14,204 This is a rehearsal for you, 42 00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:16,354 - not for me. - But, Lazzo, guess what? 43 00:02:16,364 --> 00:02:18,086 - You're tired. - I'm tired. 44 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,090 I-I'm at a really good part of my book and I... 45 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:21,827 Not the fucking book again. Give it to me. 46 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,029 I-I don't have it. 47 00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:24,766 Yes, you do, boy. 48 00:02:24,776 --> 00:02:26,704 You've tucked it in the back of your trouser. 49 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,655 - Give it to me. - Fine. 50 00:02:28,665 --> 00:02:29,908 Fairy tales? 51 00:02:29,918 --> 00:02:31,245 This is bullshit. 52 00:02:31,255 --> 00:02:33,818 And highly inaccurate. "Little Red Riding Hood"? 53 00:02:33,828 --> 00:02:35,622 You know, that's a tale about a gruesome, 54 00:02:35,632 --> 00:02:37,626 unsolved child abduction. 55 00:02:37,636 --> 00:02:39,061 That's not true. I don't believe you. 56 00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,598 Really? You're an expert, are you? 57 00:02:40,608 --> 00:02:42,836 What about this one, "Rumpelstiltskin"? 58 00:02:42,846 --> 00:02:44,740 "Rumpled dick skin," more like. 59 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:46,644 You know that's how he got his name, this chap? 60 00:02:46,654 --> 00:02:49,363 - Doesn't say that in the book. - What's "dick skin"? 61 00:02:49,373 --> 00:02:51,687 What is dick skin? That's a bloody good question. 62 00:02:51,697 --> 00:02:53,958 And not one that you should be asking. 63 00:02:53,968 --> 00:02:56,039 Let's get on with the last song. 64 00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:58,968 So you will be meeting with Xerxes. 65 00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:01,940 Okay? He's the one that they've elected leader. 66 00:03:01,950 --> 00:03:03,678 - Oh! - And here he is. May I present Xerxes. 67 00:03:03,688 --> 00:03:06,059 Hello, X... rexes. 68 00:03:06,718 --> 00:03:08,514 Xerxes, why don't you start? 69 00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:10,153 He says, 70 00:03:10,163 --> 00:03:13,631 "Thank you for taking the time to work through these issues." 71 00:03:13,641 --> 00:03:15,000 Very good. Oh. 72 00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:18,543 "We have a list of demands to be addressed." 73 00:03:18,553 --> 00:03:20,678 - Fine. - "Number one. 74 00:03:20,688 --> 00:03:23,049 "We require more than one break 75 00:03:23,059 --> 00:03:24,886 "a day so that we may haunt 76 00:03:24,896 --> 00:03:26,890 the descendants of our transgressors." 77 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:29,161 We would all like to have more time for our hobbies. 78 00:03:29,171 --> 00:03:31,239 "Number two. 79 00:03:31,249 --> 00:03:34,873 "We will not be blamed for all phantom smells at work. 80 00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:38,046 "This is an old building with old pipes, and the smells 81 00:03:38,056 --> 00:03:40,318 emanating therefrom are out of our control." 82 00:03:40,328 --> 00:03:41,800 Okay! Enough! 83 00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:44,693 I have given you and your weird faceless friends 84 00:03:44,703 --> 00:03:47,332 a job and a lovely, warm supply closet to sleep in. 85 00:03:47,342 --> 00:03:50,271 Without me, you would have nothing. 86 00:03:50,281 --> 00:03:51,807 Goodbye. Gam�sou. 87 00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:54,245 I don't have time for this skat�. 88 00:03:54,255 --> 00:03:55,633 Mm. 89 00:03:55,643 --> 00:03:57,686 "That went well." 90 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,648 Think that's supposed to be a joke. 91 00:03:59,658 --> 00:04:02,094 Wraiths aren't really known for their sense of humor. 92 00:04:02,104 --> 00:04:03,942 "'Twas upon the fourth year 93 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,768 "of the Nine Years' War 94 00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:08,674 "that the battles of Barfleur and La Hogue 95 00:04:08,684 --> 00:04:10,563 tested the will of His Majesty's fleet..." 96 00:04:10,573 --> 00:04:13,298 - Can we please read one of my books? - Absolutely not. 97 00:04:13,308 --> 00:04:15,755 - Please? - Real books about real people 98 00:04:15,765 --> 00:04:17,358 concerning real things that happened. 99 00:04:17,368 --> 00:04:19,896 Oh, Laszlo, just read him some of that baby bullshit 100 00:04:19,906 --> 00:04:21,633 - he likes so much. - Yeah, maybe the one 101 00:04:21,643 --> 00:04:23,371 about the elves and the shoemaker. 102 00:04:23,381 --> 00:04:25,107 All right. I'll tell you the real story. 103 00:04:25,117 --> 00:04:27,846 Some third-rate cobbler ripped to the tits 104 00:04:27,856 --> 00:04:31,119 on formaldehyde fumes used in his leather tanning process 105 00:04:31,129 --> 00:04:33,958 imagines he's seeing little elves do all his work. 106 00:04:33,968 --> 00:04:35,661 Loses his business, kills himself. 107 00:04:35,671 --> 00:04:36,764 The end. 108 00:04:36,774 --> 00:04:38,734 Aha! Yes! 109 00:04:38,744 --> 00:04:40,772 This will do very nicely. 110 00:04:40,782 --> 00:04:43,566 Everyone! We're going to the night market! 111 00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:46,850 A night market actually exists in every single town. 112 00:04:46,860 --> 00:04:50,257 But it is always hidden from the prying, pathetic eyes of humans. 113 00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:52,729 The night market is a bit like 114 00:04:52,739 --> 00:04:55,033 the famous Italian street fairs 115 00:04:55,043 --> 00:04:56,235 of Little Italy. 116 00:04:56,245 --> 00:04:57,872 Very diverse. 117 00:04:57,882 --> 00:05:00,311 Lots of different cultures represented. 118 00:05:00,321 --> 00:05:02,047 Sticky shit all over the ground. 119 00:05:02,057 --> 00:05:06,323 And a good place to pillage or barter tchotchkes. 120 00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:09,195 It is truly the only place where we can set aside our differences 121 00:05:09,205 --> 00:05:11,132 and work towards a common goal: 122 00:05:11,142 --> 00:05:14,105 to fuck the other guy before he fucks you! 123 00:05:14,115 --> 00:05:15,151 - It's just a work thing. - Okay. 124 00:05:15,161 --> 00:05:16,242 I'll call you after. I love... 125 00:05:16,252 --> 00:05:19,115 What do you require from the night market, my darling? 126 00:05:19,125 --> 00:05:21,219 Oh, you know, just a special little something 127 00:05:21,229 --> 00:05:23,324 to help try and solve my wraith labor problem. 128 00:05:23,334 --> 00:05:25,127 Will it be safe for someone like me to go? 129 00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:27,197 - Meaning as a human? - I don't care. 130 00:05:27,207 --> 00:05:28,901 - Yeah, do not worry, Guillermo. - Hurry up. 131 00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:31,139 If anyone asks, just say you're an orc or some shit. 132 00:05:31,149 --> 00:05:32,886 Well, I don't look like an orc. 133 00:05:33,854 --> 00:05:35,113 - Do I? - Mm. 134 00:05:35,123 --> 00:05:36,963 You could pass. 135 00:05:37,428 --> 00:05:40,090 I am very excited for this trip as well. 136 00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,693 Even though we live in the same house, 137 00:05:41,703 --> 00:05:44,165 it's so rare that Nandor asks me along 138 00:05:44,175 --> 00:05:46,436 when he has an outing with his friends, so... 139 00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:49,241 You know what? I changed my mind. 140 00:05:49,251 --> 00:05:52,247 - Nice work. - I think I'd rather just stay home. 141 00:05:52,257 --> 00:05:56,390 Oh, no. Marwa, this is a big fat bummer I am hearing. 142 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,725 But, okay, fine. I miss you already. 143 00:05:57,735 --> 00:05:59,665 - Bye. - Come on. 144 00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:02,045 Of course Marwa is my one true love. 145 00:06:02,055 --> 00:06:04,339 But she's always hanging around. 146 00:06:04,349 --> 00:06:08,530 Sometimes it's just more fun to hang with just the boys. 147 00:06:15,338 --> 00:06:17,592 Yes. This is the one that goes to the night market. Come on. Come. 148 00:06:17,602 --> 00:06:18,868 - Come on, boy. - I'm going. 149 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,016 - Quickly, quickly. - Are you sure about this? 150 00:06:20,026 --> 00:06:23,209 This looks like a regular train full of normal people. 151 00:06:23,219 --> 00:06:25,348 How dare you question me. 152 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,090 Ah. Attention, ladies and gentlemen! 153 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:32,996 If I could just have a few moments of your time. 154 00:06:33,006 --> 00:06:35,334 I'm trying to raise money for my Uncle Jeffrey. 155 00:06:35,344 --> 00:06:36,470 He needs a new heart. 156 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,108 So please enjoy this performance 157 00:06:39,118 --> 00:06:42,307 and know that anything you can give, anything, 158 00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:44,195 will help. 159 00:06:56,453 --> 00:06:58,122 Oh, wow. 160 00:07:02,064 --> 00:07:04,759 Disgusting. 161 00:07:11,249 --> 00:07:12,605 That is dynamite. 162 00:07:12,615 --> 00:07:14,279 All right! 163 00:07:14,289 --> 00:07:16,048 If you're still here, you know why you're here. 164 00:07:16,058 --> 00:07:18,755 - Next stop, the night market. - Told you. 165 00:07:18,765 --> 00:07:20,291 - He was fantastic. - Well done. 166 00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:22,261 - Are you still doing requests? - Not for a couple hours. 167 00:07:22,271 --> 00:07:25,076 - Ah. - Ooh. Looks pretty busy. 168 00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,204 Okay. Everyone. 169 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,440 Come on, boy. Don't get lost. 170 00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:30,311 - Come on. - Exciting. 171 00:07:30,321 --> 00:07:31,980 Night market awaits. 172 00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:34,786 Holy cow. Look at all of this. 173 00:07:34,796 --> 00:07:37,926 - This is pretty cool. - Put that down. They're overpriced. 174 00:07:37,936 --> 00:07:40,130 Darling, maybe it's time to get you a new coffin. 175 00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:43,270 - No. - Put your kids in cages! 176 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:44,539 Witches. 177 00:07:44,549 --> 00:07:46,276 Yes, how much for that one up there? 178 00:07:46,286 --> 00:07:48,314 - You don't need any more cages. - Shh! 179 00:07:48,324 --> 00:07:50,484 While it is progressive that the night market 180 00:07:50,494 --> 00:07:52,927 is a safe space for all of demonkind, 181 00:07:52,937 --> 00:07:55,940 sadly, we have no one form of currency between us all, 182 00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:57,932 so we have to rely on the old ways. 183 00:07:57,942 --> 00:07:59,068 Stinks. Oh. 184 00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:00,859 AKA the bartering system. 185 00:08:00,869 --> 00:08:02,442 Lots of people usually end up dead. 186 00:08:02,452 --> 00:08:04,546 I say, do you have any historical books? 187 00:08:04,556 --> 00:08:05,691 I do, sir. 188 00:08:05,701 --> 00:08:07,318 Luckily, I come from a long line 189 00:08:07,328 --> 00:08:09,356 of highly-skilled hagglers. 190 00:08:09,366 --> 00:08:11,225 My giagi�, she once traded just a little bit 191 00:08:11,235 --> 00:08:14,366 of her thigh meat for a whole bag of onions. 192 00:08:14,376 --> 00:08:17,405 So, yeah, I think I know what I'm doing. 193 00:08:17,415 --> 00:08:18,751 We're here. 194 00:08:22,825 --> 00:08:24,286 Hey, girlfriends! 195 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:25,888 How's it hanging? 196 00:08:25,898 --> 00:08:27,558 - Ja. - Ja. 197 00:08:27,568 --> 00:08:30,030 Valkyries are a group of maidens 198 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,417 who were sent by the gods to the Viking battlefields 199 00:08:32,427 --> 00:08:34,204 so they could choose who amongst the slain 200 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,576 they thought was worthy of a place in Valhalla. 201 00:08:36,586 --> 00:08:38,881 They are, um, interesting folk. 202 00:08:38,891 --> 00:08:40,484 Eh. They're quite... 203 00:08:40,494 --> 00:08:41,853 They've got zero banter. 204 00:08:41,863 --> 00:08:44,836 Absolutely no laughs whatsoever. 205 00:08:46,272 --> 00:08:47,865 Okay. 206 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:50,604 Hold on to your huvudbonader, ladies, 207 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:53,944 because I don't think you'll find this little tasty piece 208 00:08:53,954 --> 00:08:56,450 while antiquing in Connecticut. 209 00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:58,865 Note the cobalt blue glaze. 210 00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:00,620 The white base. 211 00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:02,328 And use of porcelain interior. 212 00:09:02,338 --> 00:09:03,540 - Ja. - Ja. 213 00:09:03,872 --> 00:09:05,501 I literally 214 00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:08,036 just grabbed this from Nandor's room before I left the house. 215 00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:11,480 Now, what do your books tell you about fairies? 216 00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:15,388 Well, fairies are pretty little women that can fly around, 217 00:09:15,398 --> 00:09:16,957 and they live in mushrooms. 218 00:09:16,967 --> 00:09:18,293 Really? A likely story. 219 00:09:18,303 --> 00:09:19,562 What do we have here? 220 00:09:19,572 --> 00:09:21,400 A rancid pail of garbage. 221 00:09:22,678 --> 00:09:24,339 Hello, my beauties. 222 00:09:24,349 --> 00:09:25,908 - Laszlo! - Laszlo! - You're looking... 223 00:09:25,918 --> 00:09:27,378 healthy. 224 00:09:27,388 --> 00:09:28,447 Yeah, we've been eating garbage. 225 00:09:28,457 --> 00:09:30,985 Yeah. Love to chat, but, uh... 226 00:09:30,995 --> 00:09:32,231 got things to do. 227 00:09:32,241 --> 00:09:34,109 Enjoy your pile of shit. 228 00:09:34,119 --> 00:09:36,055 - Fuck off. Close the lid. - Yeah, fucking close it. 229 00:09:36,065 --> 00:09:37,273 - Yeah, yeah, well, I am gonna. - Stop talking. 230 00:09:37,283 --> 00:09:38,467 - I just said that, didn't I? - Stop talking. Fucking close the lid. 231 00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:40,314 Fucking... Whoa. 232 00:09:41,616 --> 00:09:42,975 Real fairies. 233 00:09:42,985 --> 00:09:44,877 Well, go on, then. 234 00:09:44,887 --> 00:09:46,645 - Yeah. - They smelled like shit. 235 00:09:46,655 --> 00:09:48,454 - Oh, wicker baskets. I love these! - No. 236 00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:50,935 You don't need any more wicker bask... Oh! Sorry. 237 00:09:51,428 --> 00:09:54,933 What human dare mingle amongst us? 238 00:09:54,943 --> 00:09:57,137 Uh, I'm not a human. 239 00:09:57,147 --> 00:09:58,307 Um... 240 00:09:58,317 --> 00:09:59,572 I'm an orc. 241 00:10:02,224 --> 00:10:04,662 - My mistake. Have a good one. - Yeah. 242 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,007 Thank you. 243 00:10:07,017 --> 00:10:08,694 Do I really look that much like an orc? 244 00:10:08,704 --> 00:10:10,464 All right! 245 00:10:10,474 --> 00:10:12,402 Excellent. You will love this! 246 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,506 - What, what is this? - This is the familiar fights! 247 00:10:14,516 --> 00:10:15,789 - Wait, what? - I haven't been to one 248 00:10:15,799 --> 00:10:17,177 of these in ages. 249 00:10:17,187 --> 00:10:19,282 And another sort of weak, 250 00:10:19,292 --> 00:10:21,118 flailing blow to the paunch. 251 00:10:21,128 --> 00:10:23,107 Neither of these two in any condition to be fighting. 252 00:10:23,117 --> 00:10:26,363 Basically, a vampire will say, "I have the toughest familiar." 253 00:10:26,373 --> 00:10:27,971 And then another vampire will be like, 254 00:10:27,981 --> 00:10:29,736 "No, my familiar is even tougher." 255 00:10:29,746 --> 00:10:32,408 And then they get the familiars to fight each other, 256 00:10:32,418 --> 00:10:34,946 and whichever familiar kicks the shit out of the other familiar, 257 00:10:34,956 --> 00:10:36,096 he is the winner. 258 00:10:36,106 --> 00:10:37,652 That sounds absolutely terrible. 259 00:10:37,662 --> 00:10:40,324 - Crush his bones! Yeah! - Look at him go. 260 00:10:40,334 --> 00:10:42,428 That's got to not hurt that much. 261 00:10:42,438 --> 00:10:44,966 Oh, yeah. I think we should break the arm. 262 00:10:44,976 --> 00:10:46,336 Break his arm! 263 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:47,738 - Don't break his arm. - Oh! 264 00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,251 That's nothing. In the old days, 265 00:10:49,261 --> 00:10:51,045 they used to tear the head off. 266 00:10:51,055 --> 00:10:52,433 What are we thinking, folks? Should we do the head? 267 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,973 Oh, great, they're still doing that. 268 00:10:53,983 --> 00:10:55,199 - Yes! - Oh, no. 269 00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:57,224 - No, shouldn't do the head. - Head! Head! Head! Head! 270 00:10:57,234 --> 00:11:00,230 Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! 271 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,666 Head! Head! Head! 272 00:11:01,676 --> 00:11:04,606 Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head... 273 00:11:04,616 --> 00:11:06,075 I think I want to do the head. 274 00:11:06,085 --> 00:11:07,612 - Yay! - Head! Head! Head! Head! 275 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,455 Give it up for our new familiar 276 00:11:12,465 --> 00:11:14,492 champion, this piece of shit right here. 277 00:11:14,502 --> 00:11:16,463 How are you supporting this? It's so wrong in so many ways. 278 00:11:16,473 --> 00:11:18,099 You're right, it is. 279 00:11:18,109 --> 00:11:20,103 'Cause you could take any of these guys. 280 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,834 - That's besides the point. - Hey! 281 00:11:21,844 --> 00:11:24,412 This vampire here thinks that his familiar 282 00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:26,483 can beat any of our familiars! 283 00:11:29,097 --> 00:11:30,558 - Prove it! - Take off that tailcoat. 284 00:11:30,568 --> 00:11:32,328 - Yes, okay, let's do it, come on. - No. 285 00:11:32,338 --> 00:11:33,523 I'm not gonna do it. I'm not doing it. 286 00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:35,097 - Come on, let's do it. - I'm not... 287 00:11:35,107 --> 00:11:37,305 - doing it. - Right. 288 00:11:37,315 --> 00:11:38,529 Uh, no, no. 289 00:11:38,539 --> 00:11:41,111 My familiar will not be fighting tonight. 290 00:11:42,692 --> 00:11:44,452 Boring! 291 00:11:44,462 --> 00:11:47,325 Why? Is the little guy scared? 292 00:11:47,335 --> 00:11:49,729 - No! - No, Master... 293 00:11:49,739 --> 00:11:51,867 the only thing my familiar is scared of 294 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,704 is beating all of your familiars 295 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:57,278 all at once, 'cause that's how tough my familiar is. 296 00:11:57,288 --> 00:11:58,614 Keep dreaming! 297 00:11:58,624 --> 00:11:59,649 Oh, them's fighting words. 298 00:11:59,659 --> 00:12:01,185 Why did you say that? 299 00:12:01,195 --> 00:12:02,421 They insulted you, Guillermo. 300 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,559 And insulting you is insulting me. 301 00:12:04,569 --> 00:12:06,145 It is a matter of honor now. 302 00:12:06,155 --> 00:12:08,099 - Okay, he wants in! - He wants in! Oh! 303 00:12:08,109 --> 00:12:09,547 He's gonna get it! 304 00:12:09,557 --> 00:12:10,601 You're gonna get it. 305 00:12:10,611 --> 00:12:12,030 What's your name, little buddy? 306 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,001 No one gives a shit. Let's fight. 307 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,375 So, my trading is going very well. 308 00:12:23,385 --> 00:12:25,038 To the Valkyries I gave 309 00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:28,512 the vase, and then they gave me their rarest delicacy... 310 00:12:28,522 --> 00:12:30,583 The little meatballs in the brown water. 311 00:12:30,593 --> 00:12:33,689 I don't know why Valkyries sell meatballs 312 00:12:33,699 --> 00:12:36,161 and furniture, but I'm not going to criticize 313 00:12:36,171 --> 00:12:37,730 the ways of other cultures. 314 00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:38,999 The little tiny meatballs, 315 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,236 I traded with the Imps, 316 00:12:40,246 --> 00:12:42,307 'cause the Imps love tiny foods. 317 00:12:42,317 --> 00:12:43,816 Thanks, guys. 318 00:12:44,488 --> 00:12:46,357 It's a comedy T-shirt! 319 00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,552 I just know that there's going to be someone 320 00:12:48,562 --> 00:12:50,590 who very much wants to trade for this. 321 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,126 You got this, Guillermo! 322 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,633 Just hit him! Just hit him! 323 00:12:55,643 --> 00:12:58,272 That's got to be the Dodge of the Night... Dodge of the Night, 324 00:12:58,282 --> 00:13:00,143 brought to you by Dodge Ram trucks. 325 00:13:00,153 --> 00:13:02,112 Check out the new 2022 Ram Pickup at your local... 326 00:13:02,122 --> 00:13:03,582 Look, I don't want to hurt you, okay? 327 00:13:03,592 --> 00:13:05,153 Don't run away from him! 328 00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,688 Hit him! 329 00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:08,225 Whoa! 330 00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:09,738 That little fucker can move. 331 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,189 Sorry. Are you okay? 332 00:13:11,199 --> 00:13:13,469 - That's my fucking guy! - I didn't touch him. 333 00:13:13,479 --> 00:13:15,005 He did it to himself, okay? 334 00:13:15,015 --> 00:13:16,475 Zero blows taken, zero landed. 335 00:13:16,485 --> 00:13:18,223 They can't all be bloodbaths, folks. 336 00:13:18,233 --> 00:13:19,240 But 337 00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:21,651 we have ourselves a new winner... 338 00:13:21,661 --> 00:13:22,850 - Yes! - This guy! 339 00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:24,497 Suck it! Suck it! 340 00:13:24,507 --> 00:13:26,972 Let's have another fight. Hopefully he dies. 341 00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:31,848 Now, my point is, sometimes 342 00:13:31,858 --> 00:13:34,130 grownups lie to children when the truth 343 00:13:34,454 --> 00:13:36,448 is too horrifying for them. 344 00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:39,019 - For instance, that Pinocchio there. - Whoa. 345 00:13:39,029 --> 00:13:41,750 See his nose... don't stare... it's just a medical condition. 346 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,746 - It's got bugger all to do with lying. - Oh. 347 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,753 And as far as I know, he was never a puppet. 348 00:13:45,763 --> 00:13:47,161 - Okay. - Behind us, 349 00:13:47,171 --> 00:13:48,617 - see those garden gnomes? - Yeah. 350 00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:49,752 Well, they're real. 351 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,311 - Think they look happy? - I guess. 352 00:13:51,321 --> 00:13:53,149 They're not. They're shit scared. 353 00:13:53,159 --> 00:13:55,686 - You stare at them, they freeze. - That's sad. 354 00:13:55,696 --> 00:13:58,091 And sometimes grownups lie to children 355 00:13:58,101 --> 00:14:00,263 - 'cause the truth is just so boring. - Okay. 356 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,535 Now, you've read The Emperor's New Clothes, right? 357 00:14:02,545 --> 00:14:04,671 - Uh-huh. - Well, here's one now. 358 00:14:04,681 --> 00:14:06,575 So, he's just a common German nudist. 359 00:14:06,585 --> 00:14:09,110 And behind him is a witch. 360 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,652 They're very real, and one day, they'll fight 361 00:14:11,662 --> 00:14:13,489 - to get hold of your semen. - Oh. 362 00:14:13,499 --> 00:14:15,826 - But not in a fun way. - What's semen? 363 00:14:17,518 --> 00:14:19,561 Hit him! Hit him! 364 00:14:19,571 --> 00:14:22,240 I'm not gonna hit him, okay? 365 00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:24,344 Okay, that was really close to my face. 366 00:14:24,354 --> 00:14:26,548 Come on, don't play with our food. 367 00:14:26,558 --> 00:14:28,519 For me, just him just once! 368 00:14:28,529 --> 00:14:31,712 And another high-flying capoeira kick that does nothing. 369 00:14:31,722 --> 00:14:33,529 Look, we don't have to do this, okay? 370 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,132 We're both familiars. 371 00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:37,135 - So why don't we just sha... - Smoke in the face. 372 00:14:37,145 --> 00:14:38,606 - That's got to hurt. - Don't let him do that, hey! 373 00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:41,211 Whoa! Oh! What the... 374 00:14:41,221 --> 00:14:43,716 I'm just trying to talk to you like a regular person. 375 00:14:43,726 --> 00:14:46,132 You're being kind of a fucking dick, okay? 376 00:14:46,142 --> 00:14:47,185 Yeah, now hit him! 377 00:14:47,195 --> 00:14:48,203 Look, we don't have to do this. We're both human. 378 00:14:48,213 --> 00:14:50,563 - Come on! - Okay! Are you okay?! 379 00:14:50,573 --> 00:14:52,533 You're dead! Finish him! Hit him! 380 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,571 Now it seems like the hot one's running out of steam. 381 00:14:54,581 --> 00:14:56,275 Are you okay? 382 00:14:56,285 --> 00:14:57,877 Stop talking to him and just hit him, Guillermo! 383 00:14:57,887 --> 00:14:59,781 You know, nowadays there's really no reason to smoke. 384 00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:01,652 He's going down! Hit him! 385 00:15:01,662 --> 00:15:03,155 Now our familiar's having an asthma attack. 386 00:15:03,165 --> 00:15:05,192 - Is there a doctor? - Ay... 387 00:15:05,202 --> 00:15:07,068 Is someone a doctor? Somebody? 388 00:15:07,078 --> 00:15:08,165 We're not hurting anyone to... 389 00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:09,834 Aw, fuck. 390 00:15:09,844 --> 00:15:11,371 And we have ourselves a winner again. 391 00:15:11,381 --> 00:15:12,607 Suck it! 392 00:15:12,617 --> 00:15:13,876 - You suck it! You suck it! - Yay. 393 00:15:13,886 --> 00:15:16,214 He won again. Yay. 394 00:15:16,224 --> 00:15:17,750 It's this way. 395 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,489 So, the night market kind of goes on forever. 396 00:15:20,499 --> 00:15:22,150 Afternoon. 397 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,533 It's sort of infinite and it has dark, dirtier sides. 398 00:15:25,543 --> 00:15:27,112 Bit like me. 399 00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:29,708 Nice place. 400 00:15:29,718 --> 00:15:32,058 Just gonna take a little look around or whatever. 401 00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:35,152 Small skull, nice. 402 00:15:39,136 --> 00:15:41,265 You got some nice stuff. 403 00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:43,836 Not what I'm looking for, though. 404 00:15:43,846 --> 00:15:46,441 I think what I'm looking for... 405 00:15:46,451 --> 00:15:48,737 might be something that you might put 406 00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:50,149 under the counter. 407 00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:53,034 How do I know you're not with some form of... 408 00:15:53,044 --> 00:15:54,524 law enforcement? 409 00:15:54,534 --> 00:15:56,828 Hey! Fuck you, man. 410 00:15:56,838 --> 00:15:58,955 Would a cop have this? 411 00:15:58,965 --> 00:16:02,173 A piece of clothing with a very misogynistic joke 412 00:16:02,183 --> 00:16:04,144 that makes a complete mockery 413 00:16:04,154 --> 00:16:06,637 of common traffic safety laws. 414 00:16:12,670 --> 00:16:15,466 - Huh? Huh? - The bitch fell off. 415 00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:17,503 I think even my bitch would get a kick out of that. 416 00:16:17,513 --> 00:16:18,772 Yeah, she would. 417 00:16:18,782 --> 00:16:21,278 All right, you give me that shirt, 418 00:16:21,288 --> 00:16:23,282 I got what you're looking for. 419 00:16:23,292 --> 00:16:24,851 - I need eyes on it. - All right. 420 00:16:24,861 --> 00:16:26,355 Keep your knickers on. 421 00:16:26,365 --> 00:16:27,824 Let me have a look down here. 422 00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,227 Here we go. 423 00:16:29,237 --> 00:16:31,264 I think, uh, this 424 00:16:31,274 --> 00:16:32,900 is up your alley. 425 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,439 We have a deal! Take the stupid shirt. 426 00:16:35,449 --> 00:16:36,819 - Yes! - We got a winner. 427 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,398 He stole her glasses and she couldn't see. 428 00:16:39,408 --> 00:16:41,585 - Boring. - Give me my glasses back. 429 00:16:41,595 --> 00:16:43,035 I'm gonna give 430 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:45,259 your glasses to your master. 431 00:16:45,269 --> 00:16:47,182 Lot of jawboning going on. 432 00:16:47,192 --> 00:16:48,696 Okay? Here you go. 433 00:16:48,706 --> 00:16:50,603 It was nice meeting you, okay? 434 00:16:50,613 --> 00:16:53,442 A little less hot air, but I present to you 435 00:16:53,452 --> 00:16:56,715 our new familiar champion, this guy right here. 436 00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,986 Never caught his name, never caught his name. 437 00:16:58,996 --> 00:17:01,391 And as a reward, 438 00:17:01,401 --> 00:17:03,472 what we all know humans love most. 439 00:17:04,143 --> 00:17:05,366 Some dried-up dog food. 440 00:17:05,376 --> 00:17:06,735 They love that shit. 441 00:17:06,745 --> 00:17:08,939 They love it. And now 442 00:17:08,949 --> 00:17:11,778 - it is time for our main event. - Yes. 443 00:17:11,788 --> 00:17:15,197 - Our champion familiar versus... - Oh, come on. 444 00:17:15,207 --> 00:17:16,855 Our champion vampire, 445 00:17:16,865 --> 00:17:18,726 Gorgo the Murderer! 446 00:17:18,736 --> 00:17:20,629 Look at him! 447 00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:22,667 I'm gonna murder you so fucking hard. 448 00:17:22,677 --> 00:17:24,444 Undefeated when it comes to murder. 449 00:17:24,454 --> 00:17:25,591 Aah! 450 00:17:25,989 --> 00:17:27,543 Give us one moment. 451 00:17:27,553 --> 00:17:29,614 Murder him! Murder him... 452 00:17:29,624 --> 00:17:31,284 You shouldn't fight this guy. 453 00:17:31,294 --> 00:17:32,754 This is a guy that's gonna rip your head clean off. 454 00:17:32,764 --> 00:17:34,724 Actually, he's not. He's a vampire. 455 00:17:34,734 --> 00:17:36,528 And, remember, I'm a vampire-killer. 456 00:17:36,538 --> 00:17:38,314 Oh, yes, I always forget that. 457 00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:40,269 Okay then, go kill him! Go kill him! 458 00:17:40,279 --> 00:17:41,424 Go kill him! Go! 459 00:17:41,434 --> 00:17:42,507 Just one second. 460 00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:43,886 Sorry, once second. What? 461 00:17:44,921 --> 00:17:46,982 What's gonna happen when a room full of vampires sees 462 00:17:46,992 --> 00:17:49,554 a familiar kill a vampire for the first time? 463 00:17:49,564 --> 00:17:51,391 Good point. Wait. 464 00:17:51,401 --> 00:17:52,860 I think I have an idea. 465 00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:54,787 - We leave? - No. 466 00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:59,474 Vampires! 467 00:17:59,484 --> 00:18:00,843 Can I just... Give me that. 468 00:18:00,853 --> 00:18:03,348 Vampires, a fight 469 00:18:03,358 --> 00:18:05,553 between this poor familiar... 470 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,561 my closest companion for 13 years? 471 00:18:09,571 --> 00:18:11,631 - Yeah! - Against this 472 00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:14,281 ruthless vampire? 473 00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:15,505 This is sick! 474 00:18:15,955 --> 00:18:17,039 This is... 475 00:18:17,049 --> 00:18:19,177 Sorry. Can I just... Thank you. 476 00:18:19,187 --> 00:18:20,516 This is... Not you. 477 00:18:20,526 --> 00:18:21,863 This is sick! 478 00:18:21,873 --> 00:18:23,185 But you know 479 00:18:23,195 --> 00:18:25,459 what would be even more sick? 480 00:18:25,469 --> 00:18:27,764 - What? - A battle 481 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,334 between him 482 00:18:29,344 --> 00:18:30,903 and me. 483 00:18:32,517 --> 00:18:33,942 Who wants to see me pulverize 484 00:18:33,952 --> 00:18:36,314 my closest companion of 13 years? 485 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,452 - Yeah! - Who wants to see that? 486 00:18:38,462 --> 00:18:39,888 Kill your friend! 487 00:18:39,898 --> 00:18:43,595 Kill your friend! Kill your friend... 488 00:18:43,605 --> 00:18:45,524 Right! I'm going to kill my friend! 489 00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:47,371 Kill your friend! Kill your friend! 490 00:18:47,381 --> 00:18:49,218 Kill your friend! Kill your friend! 491 00:18:52,267 --> 00:18:54,528 Oh, this isn't gonna take very long, ladies and germs. 492 00:18:54,538 --> 00:18:55,559 Kill my friend. 493 00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:58,250 Kill your friend... That's what we all want to see. 494 00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:00,097 All right, here we go, baby! 495 00:19:00,832 --> 00:19:02,500 - Circling... - Kill your friend! Kill your friend... 496 00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:03,762 circling... 497 00:19:03,772 --> 00:19:05,406 I'm not gonna hurt you, Guillermo. 498 00:19:05,416 --> 00:19:07,361 I'm just gonna take you out with one punch, 499 00:19:07,371 --> 00:19:08,978 and then carry your body away. 500 00:19:08,988 --> 00:19:10,483 Don't you think we should put on 501 00:19:10,493 --> 00:19:11,885 a little bit of a show for them, at least? 502 00:19:11,895 --> 00:19:13,922 It's implausible that it would take any longer 503 00:19:13,932 --> 00:19:15,659 than five seconds for me to beat you. 504 00:19:16,103 --> 00:19:19,066 Is it, though? I mean, remember last time? 505 00:19:19,076 --> 00:19:21,371 Hey! 506 00:19:21,381 --> 00:19:23,809 Please, I let you win to teach you a lesson. 507 00:19:23,819 --> 00:19:26,515 And, anyway, you did cheat just a little bit. 508 00:19:26,525 --> 00:19:28,050 I didn't cheat. 509 00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:29,420 You did just a little bit. 510 00:19:29,430 --> 00:19:30,856 I didn't have to. 511 00:19:30,866 --> 00:19:32,827 - Come on, this is boring! - Okay... 512 00:19:32,837 --> 00:19:35,031 little man, bring your best. 513 00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:40,476 Okay, looks like the little guy's voguing now. 514 00:19:40,486 --> 00:19:42,480 Whoa! 515 00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:44,951 We got stakes! We got stakes. 516 00:19:44,961 --> 00:19:46,745 - You cheeky little shit! - Oh, the stakes are high. 517 00:19:46,755 --> 00:19:47,769 Come here! 518 00:19:47,779 --> 00:19:50,462 Oh, we got ourselves a fight, ladies and gentlemen. 519 00:19:50,472 --> 00:19:53,000 We got ourselves a fight. 520 00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:54,737 Come on, kill your friend. 521 00:19:54,747 --> 00:19:56,651 Oh, and we're doing flips... 522 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,430 He killed my friend. 523 00:19:58,440 --> 00:19:59,595 - What the fuck? - That was a mistake. 524 00:19:59,605 --> 00:20:01,016 Stop throwing stakes. 525 00:20:01,026 --> 00:20:03,054 - It's rude. - Keep going, or... 526 00:20:03,064 --> 00:20:04,728 Eh. 527 00:20:05,985 --> 00:20:08,043 Holy shit, he's Phantom Menacing. 528 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,145 Lot of flash. 529 00:20:10,155 --> 00:20:12,687 Regular Darth Maul, Jr. over here. 530 00:20:12,697 --> 00:20:15,479 I call him Darth Small. 531 00:20:15,489 --> 00:20:16,833 - Whoa! - Aah! 532 00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:18,663 Boom goes the dynamite! 533 00:20:18,673 --> 00:20:20,338 I am the winner! 534 00:20:20,348 --> 00:20:21,958 Uhp, and look, and there he goes. He's on the run. 535 00:20:21,968 --> 00:20:23,287 That's right, you don't fuck with me! 536 00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:24,998 Dumb move to run from a vampire. 537 00:20:25,008 --> 00:20:27,169 - I am the winner! - Then again, he is a familiar. 538 00:20:27,179 --> 00:20:29,774 And they're known for being dumb pieces of shit. 539 00:20:29,784 --> 00:20:31,478 Uh, your friend's up there. 540 00:20:31,488 --> 00:20:32,747 The fuck? 541 00:20:32,757 --> 00:20:34,918 There he is, go! Kill him! 542 00:20:34,928 --> 00:20:37,456 - Murder him! - Oh. 543 00:20:37,466 --> 00:20:39,928 That's nice. How much for this one? 544 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,100 It's getting slicey. 545 00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:45,472 We got a swordfight. 546 00:20:45,482 --> 00:20:47,108 Getting a little edgy. Whoa! 547 00:20:47,118 --> 00:20:49,105 Collateral damage, but we love to see it, folks. 548 00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,083 - Look what you made me do! - What? 549 00:20:51,093 --> 00:20:54,223 Guillermo, you're really starting to piss me off! 550 00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:56,093 - Now he's swinging. - It was your idea, remember? 551 00:20:56,103 --> 00:20:57,791 - Get back here! - This is your plan! 552 00:20:57,801 --> 00:21:00,407 - Stop hiding behind Greg! - Why are you mad at me? 553 00:21:00,417 --> 00:21:02,655 - Sorry, can I... - Is this still part of the game? 554 00:21:02,665 --> 00:21:03,849 Fuck you! 555 00:21:03,859 --> 00:21:05,044 Now we're getting somewhere. 556 00:21:05,054 --> 00:21:07,984 Okay, that fucking hurts, you fucking dick! 557 00:21:07,994 --> 00:21:09,631 Ah, you're disarmed! 558 00:21:12,068 --> 00:21:14,797 Get back. 559 00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:17,145 - Aah! - Shit. 560 00:21:18,259 --> 00:21:20,078 I guess Peter Pan can't fly. 561 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:21,621 Oopsies. 562 00:21:22,032 --> 00:21:24,082 A predictable end, but an end 563 00:21:24,092 --> 00:21:25,719 - nonetheless. - Yeah! 564 00:21:25,729 --> 00:21:28,158 - Are you not entertained? - I killed my friend! 565 00:21:28,168 --> 00:21:29,927 I killed my friend! 566 00:21:29,937 --> 00:21:31,931 I may have killed my friend. 567 00:21:31,941 --> 00:21:33,969 Oh, shit! He's got a shovel! 568 00:21:33,979 --> 00:21:36,485 Hey-oh! 569 00:21:38,569 --> 00:21:41,785 Finish him! Finish him! 570 00:21:41,795 --> 00:21:44,056 Finish him! 571 00:21:44,066 --> 00:21:46,674 Finish him! Finish him! 572 00:21:46,684 --> 00:21:48,265 They are right, Guillermo. 573 00:21:48,275 --> 00:21:50,269 Finish me. 574 00:21:50,279 --> 00:21:53,542 - Finish him! Finish him! - Finish that motherfucker! 575 00:21:53,552 --> 00:21:55,078 Finish me! 576 00:21:55,088 --> 00:21:57,015 What kind of a vampire am I 577 00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:59,620 if cannot even defeat my own familiar?! 578 00:21:59,630 --> 00:22:01,191 I'm not gonna finish anyone, okay? 579 00:22:01,201 --> 00:22:03,195 I'm gonna let you win. 580 00:22:03,205 --> 00:22:06,234 I don't really want to kill you, but if it is the only way, 581 00:22:06,244 --> 00:22:08,805 - then thank you. - What? No. 582 00:22:08,815 --> 00:22:10,303 I don't mean really kill me. 583 00:22:10,313 --> 00:22:11,717 Just, like, pretend to snap my neck or something, 584 00:22:11,727 --> 00:22:13,782 so we can get the hell out of here. 585 00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:15,219 - That's a much better plan. - I want to see the blood! 586 00:22:15,229 --> 00:22:16,821 - Ready? - Ready. 587 00:22:16,831 --> 00:22:19,761 Hey! 588 00:22:19,771 --> 00:22:22,767 Snap! Oh! Oh, oh, oh! 589 00:22:22,777 --> 00:22:25,205 He's dead as a doornail. 590 00:22:25,215 --> 00:22:28,245 Dead as doornail, ladies and gentlemen. 591 00:22:28,255 --> 00:22:30,801 We learned a lot tonight here at familiar fights. 592 00:22:30,811 --> 00:22:33,120 A lot about friendship, and how stupid 593 00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:34,924 and false and artificial it is. 594 00:22:34,934 --> 00:22:36,695 - You okay? - Hey, folks, make sure 595 00:22:36,705 --> 00:22:39,568 to take your familiar corpses with you as you leave. 596 00:22:43,785 --> 00:22:46,147 One moment, I'll be right with you, Xerxes. 597 00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:48,618 So... 598 00:22:48,628 --> 00:22:50,756 we went to the night market last night. 599 00:22:50,766 --> 00:22:54,230 Oh, my, the night market, what fun. 600 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,701 - Mm. - I already had plans last night, 601 00:22:56,711 --> 00:22:58,905 so it's a good thing I didn't get invited. 602 00:22:58,915 --> 00:23:01,009 And, here, I got you a gift. 603 00:23:01,019 --> 00:23:04,193 It came with these weird vials of whatever this is. 604 00:23:04,506 --> 00:23:07,122 I think I'll probably just keep all of these. 605 00:23:07,132 --> 00:23:09,861 And you can use the box to store your brooches or whatever. 606 00:23:09,871 --> 00:23:12,633 This is for me? This is so kind. 607 00:23:12,643 --> 00:23:14,904 I am very kind. Very good boss. 608 00:23:14,914 --> 00:23:17,143 I cannot remember the last time 609 00:23:17,153 --> 00:23:19,012 someone got me a gift. 610 00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:20,783 And I do have a lot of brooches. 611 00:23:20,793 --> 00:23:23,588 - I didn't think anyone noticed... - Oh! 612 00:23:23,598 --> 00:23:24,743 You have detected 613 00:23:24,753 --> 00:23:26,961 the sweet, intoxicating scent of the... 614 00:23:26,971 --> 00:23:29,132 Water Lily of The Nile. 615 00:23:29,142 --> 00:23:30,860 - Haven't you, Xerxes? - Uh-oh. 616 00:23:31,381 --> 00:23:33,546 Water Lily of the Nile. 617 00:23:33,556 --> 00:23:34,944 That is what they call it. 618 00:23:34,954 --> 00:23:36,681 It's a medicinal flower. 619 00:23:36,691 --> 00:23:38,685 It's a narcotic that the Egyptians 620 00:23:38,695 --> 00:23:40,756 used to bury with their dead in order 621 00:23:40,766 --> 00:23:43,094 to help ease the sufferings of the afterlife. 622 00:23:43,104 --> 00:23:45,666 And according to the Compendium Narcoticum, 623 00:23:45,676 --> 00:23:48,305 - Some third-rate cobbler... - it is the only drug 624 00:23:48,315 --> 00:23:50,469 that helps with the pain of being a wraith. 625 00:23:50,479 --> 00:23:52,310 Very hard to come by. 626 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,749 And it is said 627 00:23:53,759 --> 00:23:56,392 that those little gobshites will do anything for it. 628 00:23:57,199 --> 00:24:00,829 Do I have enough of these to give to all of the wraiths? No. 629 00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:03,368 Do I have enough of these to give to the one wraith 630 00:24:03,378 --> 00:24:05,906 who tells all the other wraiths what to do? 631 00:24:05,916 --> 00:24:07,910 Maybe. 632 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,916 I think that is probably all I need. 633 00:24:10,926 --> 00:24:12,831 Don't you?! 634 00:24:12,841 --> 00:24:14,199 He won't do it. 635 00:24:14,209 --> 00:24:16,411 Union solidarity is a big deal to them. 636 00:24:16,421 --> 00:24:18,198 "We have a deal." 637 00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:20,169 There you go. Pleasure doing business with you. 638 00:24:20,179 --> 00:24:21,781 That's how it's done. 639 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,046 I don't think they're happy. 640 00:24:26,056 --> 00:24:29,887 If they all vote, he can overrule them, right? 641 00:24:29,897 --> 00:24:32,326 What? 642 00:24:32,336 --> 00:24:33,695 Oh! 643 00:24:33,705 --> 00:24:36,401 Oh, no! 644 00:24:36,411 --> 00:24:38,415 Mm, shit, shit, shit. 645 00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:41,845 "Xerxes is no longer our leader. 646 00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:44,659 Also, he is dead." Obviously. 647 00:24:44,669 --> 00:24:46,321 Fine! Fuck it! 648 00:24:46,331 --> 00:24:48,193 You can have Mondays off with pay. 649 00:24:48,203 --> 00:24:49,756 And I will build you five 650 00:24:49,766 --> 00:24:51,774 new supply closets for you to sleep in. 651 00:24:56,256 --> 00:24:58,494 Now get back to work! 652 00:25:00,926 --> 00:25:02,434 There we go. 653 00:25:02,444 --> 00:25:04,257 I know you've had a disappointing day, 654 00:25:04,267 --> 00:25:06,828 so no rehearsal tonight. 655 00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:09,267 Would you like me to read one of your fairy stories to you? 656 00:25:09,277 --> 00:25:10,599 Uh, that's okay. 657 00:25:10,609 --> 00:25:13,341 I-I don't think I want to read those anymore. 658 00:25:13,351 --> 00:25:15,479 Maybe, can you read me something 659 00:25:15,489 --> 00:25:18,017 from one of your real books about real stuff? 660 00:25:18,027 --> 00:25:19,931 I thought you'd never ask. 661 00:25:22,203 --> 00:25:23,972 One of my personal favorites. 662 00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:25,097 Oh, yes. 663 00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:26,779 "The village of Holcomb 664 00:25:26,789 --> 00:25:29,011 "stands on the high wheat plains 665 00:25:29,021 --> 00:25:31,177 "of western Kansas, 666 00:25:31,187 --> 00:25:34,750 a lonesome area that other Kansans call 'out there.'" 667 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,354 - Are you still awake? - Um, yeah. 668 00:25:37,364 --> 00:25:39,293 It gets very heavy from here on in. 669 00:25:39,695 --> 00:25:42,219 - Synced & corrected by L0tech - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 48206

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.