All language subtitles for What We Do in the Shadows - 04x04 - The Night Market.ION10-GLHF-PLZPROPER.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,054 --> 00:00:03,472 - ♪♪ - (AUDIENCE CLAPPING) 2 00:00:06,812 --> 00:00:08,205 NADJA: Business is 3 00:00:08,215 --> 00:00:10,275 booming at the nightclub, baby! 4 00:00:10,285 --> 00:00:11,645 Cheers. 5 00:00:11,655 --> 00:00:13,015 ♪ Let's face the music ♪ 6 00:00:13,025 --> 00:00:14,054 ♪ And dance... ♪ 7 00:00:14,064 --> 00:00:16,530 NADJA: That little tap-dancing freak that clawed 8 00:00:16,540 --> 00:00:18,091 its way out of the abdominal cavity 9 00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:19,320 of dead Colin Robinson 10 00:00:19,330 --> 00:00:21,197 is causing such a buzz. 11 00:00:21,207 --> 00:00:24,772 We are pulling in capacity crowds of vampires 12 00:00:24,782 --> 00:00:26,275 and humans night after night. 13 00:00:26,285 --> 00:00:27,913 The only real problem, 14 00:00:27,923 --> 00:00:30,296 apart from the blood sprinklers clogging yet again, 15 00:00:30,306 --> 00:00:32,375 is the fucking employees. 16 00:00:32,385 --> 00:00:33,945 How many of our patrons have died 17 00:00:33,955 --> 00:00:36,717 in wraith-related accidents in the last week alone? 18 00:00:36,727 --> 00:00:38,821 - Five. - What? Five?! 19 00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:40,067 (GRUNTS) 20 00:00:41,470 --> 00:00:42,762 (SCREAMING) 21 00:00:42,772 --> 00:00:44,366 But, you know, four of them were human. 22 00:00:44,376 --> 00:00:46,470 Yeah, okay, that's not so bad then. 23 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,041 But still, what is going on with these wraiths? 24 00:00:49,051 --> 00:00:51,444 Maybe they are having issues 25 00:00:51,454 --> 00:00:53,551 with how they're being treated. 26 00:00:53,561 --> 00:00:56,390 I gave them jobs. I'd say that's pretty bloody good treatment. 27 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,326 Yes, but you do make them sleep in the supply closet. 28 00:00:59,336 --> 00:01:00,899 Well, it is better than sleeping in the street. 29 00:01:00,909 --> 00:01:02,704 You can remind them of that. 30 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,873 Maybe if you just listened to them 31 00:01:04,883 --> 00:01:07,625 and heard them out... Their concerns, you know, and... 32 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,083 - You know... - Hold it, hold it. 33 00:01:10,093 --> 00:01:12,879 Are they intentionally underperforming in order to get their way? 34 00:01:12,889 --> 00:01:14,660 You know, it does seem like they've organized 35 00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:17,357 - some sort of labor action. - This... 36 00:01:17,367 --> 00:01:19,503 - I know how to handle. - Ah. 37 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:20,802 Kill them all. 38 00:01:23,445 --> 00:01:26,115 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪ 39 00:01:26,125 --> 00:01:28,721 ♪ They have no use for your song ♪ 40 00:01:28,731 --> 00:01:31,460 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪ 41 00:01:31,470 --> 00:01:34,376 ♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪ 42 00:01:35,812 --> 00:01:38,841 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪ 43 00:01:38,851 --> 00:01:41,647 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪ 44 00:01:41,657 --> 00:01:43,918 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪ 45 00:01:43,928 --> 00:01:46,657 ♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪ 46 00:01:46,667 --> 00:01:48,437 ♪♪ 47 00:01:57,522 --> 00:02:00,391 ♪ One, two, three, four. ♪ 48 00:02:00,401 --> 00:02:03,858 ♪ There may be trouble ahead ♪ 49 00:02:03,868 --> 00:02:06,229 - Come on. - ♪ But while there's music ♪ 50 00:02:06,239 --> 00:02:08,567 ♪ And moonlight and... ♪ 51 00:02:08,577 --> 00:02:11,172 Uh, I-I forgot the words, Laszlo. (LAUGHS) 52 00:02:11,182 --> 00:02:12,842 What is this tomfoolery? 53 00:02:12,852 --> 00:02:14,204 This is a rehearsal for you, 54 00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:16,354 - not for me. - But, Lazzo, guess what? 55 00:02:16,364 --> 00:02:18,086 - You're tired. - I'm tired. 56 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,090 I-I'm at a really good part of my book and I... 57 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:21,827 Not the fucking book again. Give it to me. 58 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,029 I-I don't have it. 59 00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:24,766 - Yes, you do, boy. - (SIGHS) 60 00:02:24,776 --> 00:02:26,704 You've tucked it in the back of your trouser. 61 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,655 - Give it to me. - Fine. 62 00:02:28,665 --> 00:02:29,908 Fairy tales? 63 00:02:29,918 --> 00:02:31,245 This is bullshit. 64 00:02:31,255 --> 00:02:33,818 And highly inaccurate. "Little Red Riding Hood"? 65 00:02:33,828 --> 00:02:35,622 You know, that's a tale about a gruesome, 66 00:02:35,632 --> 00:02:37,626 unsolved child abduction. 67 00:02:37,636 --> 00:02:39,061 That's not true. I don't believe you. 68 00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,598 Really? You're an expert, are you? 69 00:02:40,608 --> 00:02:42,836 What about this one, "Rumpelstiltskin"? 70 00:02:42,846 --> 00:02:44,740 "Rumpled dick skin," more like. 71 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:46,644 You know that's how he got his name, this chap? 72 00:02:46,654 --> 00:02:49,363 - Doesn't say that in the book. - What's "dick skin"? 73 00:02:49,373 --> 00:02:51,687 What is dick skin? That's a bloody good question. 74 00:02:51,697 --> 00:02:53,958 And not one that you should be asking. 75 00:02:53,968 --> 00:02:56,039 Let's get on with the last song. 76 00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:58,968 So you will be meeting with Xerxes. 77 00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:01,940 Okay? He's the one that they've elected leader. 78 00:03:01,950 --> 00:03:03,678 - Oh! - And here he is. May I present Xerxes. 79 00:03:03,688 --> 00:03:06,059 Hello, X... rexes. 80 00:03:06,718 --> 00:03:08,514 Xerxes, why don't you start? 81 00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:10,153 He says, 82 00:03:10,163 --> 00:03:13,631 "Thank you for taking the time to work through these issues." 83 00:03:13,641 --> 00:03:15,000 Very good. Oh. 84 00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:18,543 "We have a list of demands to be addressed." 85 00:03:18,553 --> 00:03:20,678 - Fine. - "Number one. 86 00:03:20,688 --> 00:03:23,049 "We require more than one break 87 00:03:23,059 --> 00:03:24,886 "a day so that we may haunt 88 00:03:24,896 --> 00:03:26,890 the descendants of our transgressors." 89 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:29,161 We would all like to have more time for our hobbies. 90 00:03:29,171 --> 00:03:31,239 (CLEARS THROAT) "Number two. 91 00:03:31,249 --> 00:03:34,873 "We will not be blamed for all phantom smells at work. 92 00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:38,046 "This is an old building with old pipes, and the smells 93 00:03:38,056 --> 00:03:40,318 emanating therefrom are out of our control." 94 00:03:40,328 --> 00:03:41,800 Okay! Enough! 95 00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:44,693 I have given you and your weird faceless friends 96 00:03:44,703 --> 00:03:47,332 a job and a lovely, warm supply closet to sleep in. 97 00:03:47,342 --> 00:03:50,271 Without me, you would have nothing. 98 00:03:50,281 --> 00:03:51,807 Goodbye. Gamísou. 99 00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:54,245 I don't have time for this skatá. (HISSES) 100 00:03:54,255 --> 00:03:55,633 Mm. 101 00:03:55,643 --> 00:03:57,686 "That went well." 102 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,648 Think that's supposed to be a joke. 103 00:03:59,658 --> 00:04:02,094 Wraiths aren't really known for their sense of humor. 104 00:04:02,104 --> 00:04:03,942 - (MUTTERING) - "'Twas upon the fourth year 105 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,768 "of the Nine Years' War 106 00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:08,674 "that the battles of Barfleur and La Hogue 107 00:04:08,684 --> 00:04:10,563 tested the will of His Majesty's fleet..." 108 00:04:10,573 --> 00:04:13,298 - Can we please read one of my books? - Absolutely not. 109 00:04:13,308 --> 00:04:15,755 - Please? - Real books about real people 110 00:04:15,765 --> 00:04:17,358 concerning real things that happened. 111 00:04:17,368 --> 00:04:19,896 Oh, Laszlo, just read him some of that baby bullshit 112 00:04:19,906 --> 00:04:21,633 - he likes so much. - Yeah, maybe the one 113 00:04:21,643 --> 00:04:23,371 about the elves and the shoemaker. 114 00:04:23,381 --> 00:04:25,107 All right. I'll tell you the real story. 115 00:04:25,117 --> 00:04:27,846 Some third-rate cobbler ripped to the tits 116 00:04:27,856 --> 00:04:31,119 on formaldehyde fumes used in his leather tanning process 117 00:04:31,129 --> 00:04:33,958 imagines he's seeing little elves do all his work. 118 00:04:33,968 --> 00:04:35,661 Loses his business, kills himself. 119 00:04:35,671 --> 00:04:36,764 The end. 120 00:04:36,774 --> 00:04:38,734 (GASPS) Aha! Yes! 121 00:04:38,744 --> 00:04:40,772 This will do very nicely. 122 00:04:40,782 --> 00:04:43,566 Everyone! We're going to the night market! 123 00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:46,850 A night market actually exists in every single town. 124 00:04:46,860 --> 00:04:50,257 But it is always hidden from the prying, pathetic eyes of humans. 125 00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:52,729 NANDOR: The night market is a bit like 126 00:04:52,739 --> 00:04:55,033 the famous Italian street fairs 127 00:04:55,043 --> 00:04:56,235 of Little Italy. 128 00:04:56,245 --> 00:04:57,872 Very diverse. 129 00:04:57,882 --> 00:05:00,311 Lots of different cultures represented. 130 00:05:00,321 --> 00:05:02,047 Sticky shit all over the ground. 131 00:05:02,057 --> 00:05:06,323 And a good place to pillage or barter tchotchkes. 132 00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:09,195 It is truly the only place where we can set aside our differences 133 00:05:09,205 --> 00:05:11,132 and work towards a common goal: 134 00:05:11,142 --> 00:05:14,105 to fuck the other guy before he fucks you! (LAUGHS) 135 00:05:14,115 --> 00:05:15,151 - It's just a work thing. - MAN: Okay. 136 00:05:15,161 --> 00:05:16,242 I'll call you after. I love... 137 00:05:16,252 --> 00:05:19,115 What do you require from the night market, my darling? 138 00:05:19,125 --> 00:05:21,219 Oh, you know, just a special little something 139 00:05:21,229 --> 00:05:23,324 to help try and solve my wraith labor problem. 140 00:05:23,334 --> 00:05:25,127 Will it be safe for someone like me to go? 141 00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:27,197 - Meaning as a human? - I don't care. 142 00:05:27,207 --> 00:05:28,901 - Yeah, do not worry, Guillermo. - NADJA: Hurry up. 143 00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:31,139 If anyone asks, just say you're an orc or some shit. 144 00:05:31,149 --> 00:05:32,886 Well, I don't look like an orc. 145 00:05:33,854 --> 00:05:35,113 - Do I? - Mm. 146 00:05:35,123 --> 00:05:36,963 You could pass. 147 00:05:37,428 --> 00:05:40,090 I am very excited for this trip as well. 148 00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,693 Even though we live in the same house, 149 00:05:41,703 --> 00:05:44,165 it's so rare that Nandor asks me along 150 00:05:44,175 --> 00:05:46,436 when he has an outing with his friends, so... 151 00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:49,241 You know what? I changed my mind. 152 00:05:49,251 --> 00:05:52,247 - Nice work. - I think I'd rather just stay home. 153 00:05:52,257 --> 00:05:56,390 Oh, no. Marwa, this is a big fat bummer I am hearing. 154 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,725 But, okay, fine. I miss you already. 155 00:05:57,735 --> 00:05:59,665 - Bye. - Come on. 156 00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:02,045 NANDOR: Of course Marwa is my one true love. 157 00:06:02,055 --> 00:06:04,339 But she's always hanging around. 158 00:06:04,349 --> 00:06:08,530 Sometimes it's just more fun to hang with just the boys. 159 00:06:13,801 --> 00:06:15,328 (CHIMING) 160 00:06:15,338 --> 00:06:17,592 Yes. This is the one that goes to the night market. Come on. Come. 161 00:06:17,602 --> 00:06:18,868 - LASZLO: Come on, boy. - COLIN: I'm going. 162 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,016 - Quickly, quickly. - Are you sure about this? 163 00:06:20,026 --> 00:06:23,209 This looks like a regular train full of normal people. 164 00:06:23,219 --> 00:06:25,348 How dare you question me. (SPITS) 165 00:06:25,358 --> 00:06:27,919 (MAN COUGHS) 166 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,090 Ah. Attention, ladies and gentlemen! 167 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:32,996 If I could just have a few moments of your time. 168 00:06:33,006 --> 00:06:35,334 I'm trying to raise money for my Uncle Jeffrey. 169 00:06:35,344 --> 00:06:36,470 He needs a new heart. 170 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,108 So please enjoy this performance 171 00:06:39,118 --> 00:06:42,307 and know that anything you can give, anything, 172 00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:44,195 will help. 173 00:06:47,435 --> 00:06:50,240 ♪♪ 174 00:06:54,449 --> 00:06:56,443 (FARTING RHYTHMICALLY) 175 00:06:56,453 --> 00:06:58,122 - COLIN: Oh, wow. - (PASSENGERS GROANING) 176 00:06:59,492 --> 00:07:02,054 (CHIMING) 177 00:07:02,064 --> 00:07:04,759 - (PEOPLE MUTTERING, GROANING) - WOMAN: Disgusting. 178 00:07:04,769 --> 00:07:07,164 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 179 00:07:07,174 --> 00:07:09,980 (FARTING RHYTHMICALLY) 180 00:07:11,249 --> 00:07:12,605 - That is dynamite. - (MUSIC STOPS) 181 00:07:12,615 --> 00:07:14,279 All right! 182 00:07:14,289 --> 00:07:16,048 If you're still here, you know why you're here. 183 00:07:16,058 --> 00:07:18,755 - Next stop, the night market. - NADJA: Told you. 184 00:07:18,765 --> 00:07:20,291 - COLIN: He was fantastic. - NANDOR: Well done. 185 00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:22,261 - Are you still doing requests? - PERFORMER: Not for a couple hours. 186 00:07:22,271 --> 00:07:25,076 - NADJA: Ah. - Ooh. Looks pretty busy. 187 00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,204 Okay. Everyone. 188 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,440 Come on, boy. Don't get lost. 189 00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:30,311 - NADJA: Come on. - Exciting. 190 00:07:30,321 --> 00:07:31,980 Night market awaits. 191 00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:34,786 COLIN: Holy cow. Look at all of this. 192 00:07:34,796 --> 00:07:37,926 - This is pretty cool. - NANDOR: Put that down. They're overpriced. 193 00:07:37,936 --> 00:07:40,130 NADJA: Darling, maybe it's time to get you a new coffin. 194 00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:43,270 - LASZLO: No. - Put your kids in cages! 195 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:44,539 Witches. 196 00:07:44,549 --> 00:07:46,276 Yes, how much for that one up there? 197 00:07:46,286 --> 00:07:48,314 - You don't need any more cages. - Shh! 198 00:07:48,324 --> 00:07:50,484 NADJA: While it is progressive that the night market 199 00:07:50,494 --> 00:07:52,927 is a safe space for all of demonkind, 200 00:07:52,937 --> 00:07:55,940 sadly, we have no one form of currency between us all, 201 00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:57,932 so we have to rely on the old ways. 202 00:07:57,942 --> 00:07:59,068 Stinks. Oh. 203 00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:00,859 AKA the bartering system. 204 00:08:00,869 --> 00:08:02,442 Lots of people usually end up dead. 205 00:08:02,452 --> 00:08:04,546 I say, do you have any historical books? 206 00:08:04,556 --> 00:08:05,691 MAN: I do, sir. 207 00:08:05,701 --> 00:08:07,318 NADJA: Luckily, I come from a long line 208 00:08:07,328 --> 00:08:09,356 of highly-skilled hagglers. 209 00:08:09,366 --> 00:08:11,225 My giagiá, she once traded just a little bit 210 00:08:11,235 --> 00:08:14,366 of her thigh meat for a whole bag of onions. 211 00:08:14,376 --> 00:08:17,405 So, yeah, I think I know what I'm doing. 212 00:08:17,415 --> 00:08:18,751 We're here. 213 00:08:20,821 --> 00:08:22,815 ♪♪ 214 00:08:22,825 --> 00:08:24,286 Hey, girlfriends! 215 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:25,888 How's it hanging? 216 00:08:25,898 --> 00:08:27,558 - Ja. - Ja. 217 00:08:27,568 --> 00:08:30,030 NADJA: Valkyries are a group of maidens 218 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,417 who were sent by the gods to the Viking battlefields 219 00:08:32,427 --> 00:08:34,204 so they could choose who amongst the slain 220 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,576 they thought was worthy of a place in Valhalla. 221 00:08:36,586 --> 00:08:38,881 They are, um, interesting folk. 222 00:08:38,891 --> 00:08:40,484 Eh. They're quite... 223 00:08:40,494 --> 00:08:41,853 They've got zero banter. 224 00:08:41,863 --> 00:08:44,836 Absolutely no laughs whatsoever. 225 00:08:46,272 --> 00:08:47,865 Okay. (CHUCKLES) 226 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:50,604 Hold on to your huvudbonader, ladies, 227 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:53,944 because I don't think you'll find this little tasty piece 228 00:08:53,954 --> 00:08:56,450 while antiquing in Connecticut. 229 00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:58,865 Note the cobalt blue glaze. 230 00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:00,620 The white base. 231 00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:02,328 And use of porcelain interior. 232 00:09:02,338 --> 00:09:03,540 - Ja. - Ja. 233 00:09:03,872 --> 00:09:05,501 NADJA: I literally 234 00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:08,036 just grabbed this from Nandor's room before I left the house. 235 00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:11,480 Now, what do your books tell you about fairies? 236 00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:15,388 Well, fairies are pretty little women that can fly around, 237 00:09:15,398 --> 00:09:16,957 and they live in mushrooms. 238 00:09:16,967 --> 00:09:18,293 Really? A likely story. 239 00:09:18,303 --> 00:09:19,562 What do we have here? 240 00:09:19,572 --> 00:09:21,400 A rancid pail of garbage. 241 00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:22,668 (COUGHING) 242 00:09:22,678 --> 00:09:24,339 (GROANS) Hello, my beauties. 243 00:09:24,349 --> 00:09:25,908 - Laszlo! - Laszlo! - You're looking... 244 00:09:25,918 --> 00:09:27,378 (COUGHS) healthy. 245 00:09:27,388 --> 00:09:28,447 Yeah, we've been eating garbage. 246 00:09:28,457 --> 00:09:30,985 Yeah. Love to chat, but, uh... 247 00:09:30,995 --> 00:09:32,231 got things to do. 248 00:09:32,241 --> 00:09:34,109 Enjoy your pile of shit. 249 00:09:34,119 --> 00:09:36,055 - Fuck off. Close the lid. - Yeah, fucking close it. 250 00:09:36,065 --> 00:09:37,273 - Yeah, yeah, well, I am gonna. - Stop talking. 251 00:09:37,283 --> 00:09:38,467 - I just said that, didn't I? - Stop talking. Fucking close the lid. 252 00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:40,314 Fucking... Whoa. 253 00:09:41,616 --> 00:09:42,975 Real fairies. 254 00:09:42,985 --> 00:09:44,877 Well, go on, then. 255 00:09:44,887 --> 00:09:46,645 - Yeah. (CHUCKLES) - They smelled like shit. 256 00:09:46,655 --> 00:09:48,454 - Oh, wicker baskets. I love these! - No. 257 00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:50,935 You don't need any more wicker bask... Oh! Sorry. 258 00:09:51,428 --> 00:09:54,933 (SNIFFS) What human dare mingle amongst us? 259 00:09:54,943 --> 00:09:57,137 - (GROWLS) - Uh, I'm not a human. 260 00:09:57,147 --> 00:09:58,307 Um... 261 00:09:58,317 --> 00:09:59,572 I'm an orc. 262 00:09:59,582 --> 00:10:02,214 (SNIFFING) 263 00:10:02,224 --> 00:10:04,662 - My mistake. Have a good one. - Yeah. 264 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,007 Thank you. 265 00:10:07,017 --> 00:10:08,694 Do I really look that much like an orc? 266 00:10:08,704 --> 00:10:10,464 - (CHEERING, CLAMORING) - RINGMASTER: All right! 267 00:10:10,474 --> 00:10:12,402 Excellent. You will love this! 268 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,506 - What, what is this? - This is the familiar fights! 269 00:10:14,516 --> 00:10:15,789 - Wait, what? - I haven't been to one 270 00:10:15,799 --> 00:10:17,177 of these in ages. 271 00:10:17,187 --> 00:10:19,282 RINGMASTER: And another sort of weak, 272 00:10:19,292 --> 00:10:21,118 flailing blow to the paunch. 273 00:10:21,128 --> 00:10:23,107 Neither of these two in any condition to be fighting. 274 00:10:23,117 --> 00:10:26,363 Basically, a vampire will say, "I have the toughest familiar." 275 00:10:26,373 --> 00:10:27,971 And then another vampire will be like, 276 00:10:27,981 --> 00:10:29,736 "No, my familiar is even tougher." 277 00:10:29,746 --> 00:10:32,408 And then they get the familiars to fight each other, 278 00:10:32,418 --> 00:10:34,946 and whichever familiar kicks the shit out of the other familiar, 279 00:10:34,956 --> 00:10:36,096 he is the winner. 280 00:10:36,106 --> 00:10:37,652 That sounds absolutely terrible. 281 00:10:37,662 --> 00:10:40,324 - VAMPIRE: Crush his bones! Yeah! - RINGMASTER: Look at him go. 282 00:10:40,334 --> 00:10:42,428 That's got to not hurt that much. 283 00:10:42,438 --> 00:10:44,966 Oh, yeah. I think we should break the arm. 284 00:10:44,976 --> 00:10:46,336 Break his arm! 285 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:47,738 - GUILLERMO: Don't break his arm. - RINGMASTER: Oh! 286 00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,251 NANDOR: That's nothing. In the old days, 287 00:10:49,261 --> 00:10:51,045 they used to tear the head off. 288 00:10:51,055 --> 00:10:52,433 What are we thinking, folks? Should we do the head? 289 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,973 Oh, great, they're still doing that. 290 00:10:53,983 --> 00:10:55,199 - Yes! - Oh, no. 291 00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:57,224 - No, shouldn't do the head. - ALL (CHANTING): Head! Head! Head! Head! 292 00:10:57,234 --> 00:11:00,230 Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! 293 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,666 Head! Head! Head! 294 00:11:01,676 --> 00:11:04,606 Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head... 295 00:11:04,616 --> 00:11:06,075 I think I want to do the head. 296 00:11:06,085 --> 00:11:07,612 - Yay! - Head! Head! Head! Head! 297 00:11:07,622 --> 00:11:10,618 (CHEERING, CLAMORING) 298 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,455 Give it up for our new familiar 299 00:11:12,465 --> 00:11:14,492 champion, this piece of shit right here. 300 00:11:14,502 --> 00:11:16,463 How are you supporting this? It's so wrong in so many ways. 301 00:11:16,473 --> 00:11:18,099 You're right, it is. 302 00:11:18,109 --> 00:11:20,103 'Cause you could take any of these guys. 303 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,834 - That's besides the point. - WARLOCK: Hey! 304 00:11:21,844 --> 00:11:24,412 This vampire here thinks that his familiar 305 00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:26,483 can beat any of our familiars! 306 00:11:26,493 --> 00:11:29,087 (LAUGHTER, CLAMORING) 307 00:11:29,097 --> 00:11:30,558 - Prove it! - Take off that tailcoat. 308 00:11:30,568 --> 00:11:32,328 - Yes, okay, let's do it, come on. - No. 309 00:11:32,338 --> 00:11:33,523 I'm not gonna do it. I'm not doing it. 310 00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:35,097 - Come on, let's do it. - I'm not... 311 00:11:35,107 --> 00:11:37,305 - doing it. - Right. 312 00:11:37,315 --> 00:11:38,529 Uh, no, no. 313 00:11:38,539 --> 00:11:41,111 My familiar will not be fighting tonight. 314 00:11:41,121 --> 00:11:42,682 (CROWD BOOING) 315 00:11:42,692 --> 00:11:44,452 Boring! 316 00:11:44,462 --> 00:11:47,325 Why? Is the little guy scared? 317 00:11:47,335 --> 00:11:49,729 - No! - No, Master... 318 00:11:49,739 --> 00:11:51,867 the only thing my familiar is scared of 319 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,704 is beating all of your familiars 320 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:57,278 all at once, 'cause that's how tough my familiar is. 321 00:11:57,288 --> 00:11:58,614 - (LAUGHTER) - VAMPIRE: Keep dreaming! 322 00:11:58,624 --> 00:11:59,649 RINGMASTER: Oh, them's fighting words. 323 00:11:59,659 --> 00:12:01,185 Why did you say that? 324 00:12:01,195 --> 00:12:02,421 They insulted you, Guillermo. 325 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,559 And insulting you is insulting me. 326 00:12:04,569 --> 00:12:06,145 It is a matter of honor now. 327 00:12:06,155 --> 00:12:08,099 - Okay, he wants in! - RINGMASTER: He wants in! Oh! 328 00:12:08,109 --> 00:12:09,547 - He's gonna get it! - (CHEERING, CLAMORING) 329 00:12:09,557 --> 00:12:10,601 NANDOR: You're gonna get it. 330 00:12:10,611 --> 00:12:12,030 What's your name, little buddy? 331 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,001 No one gives a shit. (LAUGHS) Let's fight. 332 00:12:14,011 --> 00:12:15,482 (CHEERING) 333 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,375 NADJA: So, my trading is going very well. 334 00:12:23,385 --> 00:12:25,038 To the Valkyries I gave 335 00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:28,512 the vase, and then they gave me their rarest delicacy... 336 00:12:28,522 --> 00:12:30,583 The little meatballs in the brown water. 337 00:12:30,593 --> 00:12:33,689 I don't know why Valkyries sell meatballs 338 00:12:33,699 --> 00:12:36,161 and furniture, but I'm not going to criticize 339 00:12:36,171 --> 00:12:37,730 the ways of other cultures. 340 00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:38,999 The little tiny meatballs, 341 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,236 I traded with the Imps, 342 00:12:40,246 --> 00:12:42,307 'cause the Imps love tiny foods. 343 00:12:42,317 --> 00:12:43,816 Thanks, guys. 344 00:12:44,488 --> 00:12:46,357 It's a comedy T-shirt! 345 00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,552 I just know that there's going to be someone 346 00:12:48,562 --> 00:12:50,590 who very much wants to trade for this. 347 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,126 NANDOR: You got this, Guillermo! 348 00:12:52,136 --> 00:12:53,362 (SHOUTING, CLAMORING) 349 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,633 Just hit him! Just hit him! 350 00:12:55,643 --> 00:12:58,272 RINGMASTER: That's got to be the Dodge of the Night... Dodge of the Night, 351 00:12:58,282 --> 00:13:00,143 brought to you by Dodge Ram trucks. 352 00:13:00,153 --> 00:13:02,112 Check out the new 2022 Ram Pickup at your local... 353 00:13:02,122 --> 00:13:03,582 Look, I don't want to hurt you, okay? 354 00:13:03,592 --> 00:13:05,153 NANDOR: Don't run away from him! 355 00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,688 Hit him! 356 00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:08,225 RINGMASTER: Whoa! 357 00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:09,738 That little fucker can move. 358 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,189 Sorry. Are you okay? 359 00:13:11,199 --> 00:13:13,469 - That's my fucking guy! - I didn't touch him. 360 00:13:13,479 --> 00:13:15,005 He did it to himself, okay? 361 00:13:15,015 --> 00:13:16,475 Zero blows taken, zero landed. 362 00:13:16,485 --> 00:13:18,223 They can't all be bloodbaths, folks. 363 00:13:18,233 --> 00:13:19,240 But 364 00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:21,651 we have ourselves a new winner... 365 00:13:21,661 --> 00:13:22,850 - NANDOR: Yes! - This guy! 366 00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:24,497 - Suck it! Suck it! - (CROWD BOOING) 367 00:13:24,507 --> 00:13:26,972 RINGMASTER: Let's have another fight. Hopefully he dies. 368 00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:29,433 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 369 00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:31,848 LASZLO: Now, my point is, sometimes 370 00:13:31,858 --> 00:13:34,130 grownups lie to children when the truth 371 00:13:34,454 --> 00:13:36,448 is too horrifying for them. 372 00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:39,019 - For instance, that Pinocchio there. - Whoa. 373 00:13:39,029 --> 00:13:41,750 LASZLO: See his nose... don't stare... it's just a medical condition. 374 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,746 - It's got bugger all to do with lying. - Oh. 375 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,753 And as far as I know, he was never a puppet. 376 00:13:45,763 --> 00:13:47,161 - Okay. - Behind us, 377 00:13:47,171 --> 00:13:48,617 - see those garden gnomes? - Yeah. 378 00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:49,752 Well, they're real. 379 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,311 - Think they look happy? - COLIN: I guess. 380 00:13:51,321 --> 00:13:53,149 They're not. They're shit scared. 381 00:13:53,159 --> 00:13:55,686 - You stare at them, they freeze. - That's sad. 382 00:13:55,696 --> 00:13:58,091 And sometimes grownups lie to children 383 00:13:58,101 --> 00:14:00,263 - 'cause the truth is just so boring. - Okay. 384 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,535 Now, you've read The Emperor's New Clothes, right? 385 00:14:02,545 --> 00:14:04,671 - Uh-huh. - Well, here's one now. 386 00:14:04,681 --> 00:14:06,575 So, he's just a common German nudist. 387 00:14:06,585 --> 00:14:09,110 And behind him is a witch. 388 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,652 They're very real, and one day, they'll fight 389 00:14:11,662 --> 00:14:13,489 - to get hold of your semen. - Oh. 390 00:14:13,499 --> 00:14:15,826 - But not in a fun way. - What's semen? 391 00:14:15,836 --> 00:14:17,508 (SHOUTING, CLAMORING) 392 00:14:17,518 --> 00:14:19,561 Hit him! Hit him! 393 00:14:19,571 --> 00:14:22,240 - I'm not gonna hit him, okay? - (WHISTLING, CLAMORING) 394 00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:24,344 Okay, that was really close to my face. 395 00:14:24,354 --> 00:14:26,548 Come on, don't play with our food. 396 00:14:26,558 --> 00:14:28,519 For me, just him just once! 397 00:14:28,529 --> 00:14:31,712 And another high-flying capoeira kick that does nothing. 398 00:14:31,722 --> 00:14:33,529 Look, we don't have to do this, okay? 399 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,132 We're both familiars. 400 00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:37,135 - So why don't we just sha... - RINGMASTER: Smoke in the face. 401 00:14:37,145 --> 00:14:38,606 - That's got to hurt. - Don't let him do that, hey! 402 00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:41,211 Whoa! Oh! What the... 403 00:14:41,221 --> 00:14:43,716 I'm just trying to talk to you like a regular person. 404 00:14:43,726 --> 00:14:46,132 You're being kind of a fucking dick, okay? 405 00:14:46,142 --> 00:14:47,185 Yeah, now hit him! 406 00:14:47,195 --> 00:14:48,203 Look, we don't have to do this. We're both human. 407 00:14:48,213 --> 00:14:50,563 - Come on! - Okay! Are you okay?! 408 00:14:50,573 --> 00:14:52,533 You're dead! Finish him! Hit him! 409 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,571 Now it seems like the hot one's running out of steam. 410 00:14:54,581 --> 00:14:56,275 Are you okay? 411 00:14:56,285 --> 00:14:57,877 Stop talking to him and just hit him, Guillermo! 412 00:14:57,887 --> 00:14:59,781 You know, nowadays there's really no reason to smoke. 413 00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:01,652 NANDOR: He's going down! Hit him! 414 00:15:01,662 --> 00:15:03,155 RINGMASTER: Now our familiar's having an asthma attack. 415 00:15:03,165 --> 00:15:05,192 - Is there a doctor? - Ay... 416 00:15:05,202 --> 00:15:07,068 - Is someone a doctor? Somebody? - (SHOUTING, JEERING) 417 00:15:07,078 --> 00:15:08,165 We're not hurting anyone to... 418 00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:09,834 Aw, fuck. 419 00:15:09,844 --> 00:15:11,371 And we have ourselves a winner again. 420 00:15:11,381 --> 00:15:12,607 NANDOR: Suck it! 421 00:15:12,617 --> 00:15:13,876 - You suck it! You suck it! - Yay. 422 00:15:13,886 --> 00:15:16,214 He won again. Yay. 423 00:15:16,224 --> 00:15:17,750 It's this way. 424 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,489 So, the night market kind of goes on forever. 425 00:15:20,499 --> 00:15:22,150 - Afternoon. - (LOW GROWLING) 426 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,533 It's sort of infinite and it has dark, dirtier sides. 427 00:15:25,543 --> 00:15:27,112 Bit like me. 428 00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:29,708 Nice place. 429 00:15:29,718 --> 00:15:32,058 Just gonna take a little look around or whatever. 430 00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:35,152 Small skull, nice. 431 00:15:35,162 --> 00:15:37,323 (CLEARS HER THROAT) 432 00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:38,435 (SQUEAKING) 433 00:15:39,136 --> 00:15:41,265 You got some nice stuff. 434 00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:43,836 Not what I'm looking for, though. 435 00:15:43,846 --> 00:15:46,441 I think what I'm looking for... 436 00:15:46,451 --> 00:15:48,737 might be something that you might put 437 00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:50,149 under the counter. 438 00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:53,034 How do I know you're not with some form of... 439 00:15:53,044 --> 00:15:54,524 law enforcement? 440 00:15:54,534 --> 00:15:56,828 Hey! Fuck you, man. 441 00:15:56,838 --> 00:15:58,955 Would a cop have this? 442 00:15:58,965 --> 00:16:02,173 A piece of clothing with a very misogynistic joke 443 00:16:02,183 --> 00:16:04,144 that makes a complete mockery 444 00:16:04,154 --> 00:16:06,637 of common traffic safety laws. 445 00:16:06,647 --> 00:16:07,750 (IMITATES EXPLOSION) 446 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,556 (MOUTHING) 447 00:16:10,566 --> 00:16:12,660 (LAUGHING) 448 00:16:12,670 --> 00:16:15,466 - Huh? Huh? - The bitch fell off. 449 00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:17,503 I think even my bitch would get a kick out of that. 450 00:16:17,513 --> 00:16:18,772 Yeah, she would. 451 00:16:18,782 --> 00:16:21,278 All right, you give me that shirt, 452 00:16:21,288 --> 00:16:23,282 I got what you're looking for. 453 00:16:23,292 --> 00:16:24,851 - I need eyes on it. - All right. 454 00:16:24,861 --> 00:16:26,355 Keep your knickers on. 455 00:16:26,365 --> 00:16:27,824 Let me have a look down here. 456 00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,227 Here we go. 457 00:16:29,237 --> 00:16:31,264 I think, uh, this 458 00:16:31,274 --> 00:16:32,900 is up your alley. 459 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,439 We have a deal! Take the stupid shirt. 460 00:16:35,449 --> 00:16:36,819 - Yes! - RINGMASTER: We got a winner. 461 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,398 He stole her glasses and she couldn't see. 462 00:16:39,408 --> 00:16:41,585 - Boring. - Give me my glasses back. 463 00:16:41,595 --> 00:16:43,035 I'm gonna give 464 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:45,259 your glasses to your master. 465 00:16:45,269 --> 00:16:47,182 Lot of jawboning going on. 466 00:16:47,192 --> 00:16:48,696 Okay? Here you go. 467 00:16:48,706 --> 00:16:50,603 It was nice meeting you, okay? 468 00:16:50,613 --> 00:16:53,442 A little less hot air, but I present to you 469 00:16:53,452 --> 00:16:56,715 our new familiar champion, this guy right here. 470 00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,986 Never caught his name, never caught his name. 471 00:16:58,996 --> 00:17:01,391 And as a reward, 472 00:17:01,401 --> 00:17:03,472 what we all know humans love most. 473 00:17:04,143 --> 00:17:05,366 Some dried-up dog food. 474 00:17:05,376 --> 00:17:06,735 They love that shit. 475 00:17:06,745 --> 00:17:08,939 They love it. And now 476 00:17:08,949 --> 00:17:11,778 - it is time for our main event. - Yes. 477 00:17:11,788 --> 00:17:15,197 - Our champion familiar versus... - Oh, come on. 478 00:17:15,207 --> 00:17:16,855 Our champion vampire, 479 00:17:16,865 --> 00:17:18,726 Gorgo the Murderer! 480 00:17:18,736 --> 00:17:20,629 - (CHEERING, CLAMORING) - Look at him! 481 00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:22,667 I'm gonna murder you so fucking hard. 482 00:17:22,677 --> 00:17:24,444 RINGMASTER: Undefeated when it comes to murder. 483 00:17:24,454 --> 00:17:25,591 Aah! 484 00:17:25,989 --> 00:17:27,543 Give us one moment. 485 00:17:27,553 --> 00:17:29,614 Murder him! Murder him... 486 00:17:29,624 --> 00:17:31,284 You shouldn't fight this guy. 487 00:17:31,294 --> 00:17:32,754 This is a guy that's gonna rip your head clean off. 488 00:17:32,764 --> 00:17:34,724 Actually, he's not. He's a vampire. 489 00:17:34,734 --> 00:17:36,528 And, remember, I'm a vampire-killer. 490 00:17:36,538 --> 00:17:38,314 Oh, yes, I always forget that. 491 00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:40,269 Okay then, go kill him! Go kill him! 492 00:17:40,279 --> 00:17:41,424 Go kill him! Go! 493 00:17:41,434 --> 00:17:42,507 Just one second. 494 00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:43,886 NANDOR: Sorry, once second. What? 495 00:17:44,921 --> 00:17:46,982 What's gonna happen when a room full of vampires sees 496 00:17:46,992 --> 00:17:49,554 a familiar kill a vampire for the first time? 497 00:17:49,564 --> 00:17:51,391 Good point. Wait. 498 00:17:51,401 --> 00:17:52,860 I think I have an idea. 499 00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:54,787 - We leave? - No. 500 00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:59,474 Vampires! 501 00:17:59,484 --> 00:18:00,843 Can I just... Give me that. 502 00:18:00,853 --> 00:18:03,348 Vampires, a fight 503 00:18:03,358 --> 00:18:05,553 between this poor familiar... 504 00:18:05,563 --> 00:18:07,035 (CHEERING, CLAMORING) 505 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,561 my closest companion for 13 years? 506 00:18:09,571 --> 00:18:11,631 - CROWD: Yeah! - Against this 507 00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:14,281 ruthless vampire? 508 00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:15,505 This is sick! 509 00:18:15,955 --> 00:18:17,039 This is... 510 00:18:17,049 --> 00:18:19,177 Sorry. Can I just... Thank you. 511 00:18:19,187 --> 00:18:20,516 This is... Not you. 512 00:18:20,526 --> 00:18:21,863 This is sick! 513 00:18:21,873 --> 00:18:23,185 But you know 514 00:18:23,195 --> 00:18:25,459 what would be even more sick? 515 00:18:25,469 --> 00:18:27,764 - CROWD: What? - A battle 516 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,334 between him 517 00:18:29,344 --> 00:18:30,903 and me. 518 00:18:30,913 --> 00:18:32,507 (CHEERING, CLAMORING) 519 00:18:32,517 --> 00:18:33,942 Who wants to see me pulverize 520 00:18:33,952 --> 00:18:36,314 my closest companion of 13 years? 521 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,452 - Yeah! - Who wants to see that? 522 00:18:38,462 --> 00:18:39,888 Kill your friend! 523 00:18:39,898 --> 00:18:43,595 Kill your friend! Kill your friend... 524 00:18:43,605 --> 00:18:45,524 Right! I'm going to kill my friend! 525 00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:47,371 Kill your friend! Kill your friend! 526 00:18:47,381 --> 00:18:49,218 Kill your friend! Kill your friend! 527 00:18:52,267 --> 00:18:54,528 Oh, this isn't gonna take very long, ladies and germs. 528 00:18:54,538 --> 00:18:55,559 Kill my friend. 529 00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:58,250 Kill your friend... That's what we all want to see. 530 00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:00,097 All right, here we go, baby! 531 00:19:00,832 --> 00:19:02,500 - Circling... - Kill your friend! Kill your friend... 532 00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:03,762 circling... 533 00:19:03,772 --> 00:19:05,406 I'm not gonna hurt you, Guillermo. 534 00:19:05,416 --> 00:19:07,361 I'm just gonna take you out with one punch, 535 00:19:07,371 --> 00:19:08,978 and then carry your body away. 536 00:19:08,988 --> 00:19:10,483 Don't you think we should put on 537 00:19:10,493 --> 00:19:11,885 a little bit of a show for them, at least? 538 00:19:11,895 --> 00:19:13,922 It's implausible that it would take any longer 539 00:19:13,932 --> 00:19:15,659 than five seconds for me to beat you. 540 00:19:16,103 --> 00:19:19,066 Is it, though? I mean, remember last time? 541 00:19:19,076 --> 00:19:21,371 - (GRUNTS) - Hey! 542 00:19:21,381 --> 00:19:23,809 Please, I let you win to teach you a lesson. 543 00:19:23,819 --> 00:19:26,515 And, anyway, you did cheat just a little bit. 544 00:19:26,525 --> 00:19:28,050 I didn't cheat. 545 00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:29,420 You did just a little bit. 546 00:19:29,430 --> 00:19:30,856 I didn't have to. 547 00:19:30,866 --> 00:19:32,827 - RINGMASTER: Come on, this is boring! - Okay... 548 00:19:32,837 --> 00:19:35,031 little man, bring your best. 549 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,370 (CROWD CHEERING, CLAMORING) 550 00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:40,476 RINGMASTER: Okay, looks like the little guy's voguing now. 551 00:19:40,486 --> 00:19:42,480 Whoa! 552 00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:44,951 We got stakes! We got stakes. 553 00:19:44,961 --> 00:19:46,745 - You cheeky little shit! - Oh, the stakes are high. 554 00:19:46,755 --> 00:19:47,769 Come here! 555 00:19:47,779 --> 00:19:50,462 Oh, we got ourselves a fight, ladies and gentlemen. 556 00:19:50,472 --> 00:19:53,000 We got ourselves a fight. 557 00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:54,737 Come on, kill your friend. 558 00:19:54,747 --> 00:19:56,651 Oh, and we're doing flips... 559 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,430 He killed my friend. 560 00:19:58,440 --> 00:19:59,595 - What the fuck? - That was a mistake. 561 00:19:59,605 --> 00:20:01,016 Stop throwing stakes. 562 00:20:01,026 --> 00:20:03,054 - It's rude. - Keep going, or... 563 00:20:03,064 --> 00:20:04,728 Eh. 564 00:20:05,985 --> 00:20:08,043 RINGMASTER: Holy shit, he's Phantom Menacing. 565 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,145 Lot of flash. 566 00:20:10,155 --> 00:20:12,687 Regular Darth Maul, Jr. over here. 567 00:20:12,697 --> 00:20:15,479 I call him Darth Small. 568 00:20:15,489 --> 00:20:16,833 - Whoa! - Aah! 569 00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:18,663 RINGMASTER: Boom goes the dynamite! 570 00:20:18,673 --> 00:20:20,338 I am the winner! 571 00:20:20,348 --> 00:20:21,958 RINGMASTER: Uhp, and look, and there he goes. He's on the run. 572 00:20:21,968 --> 00:20:23,287 That's right, you don't fuck with me! 573 00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:24,998 RINGMASTER: Dumb move to run from a vampire. 574 00:20:25,008 --> 00:20:27,169 - I am the winner! - Then again, he is a familiar. 575 00:20:27,179 --> 00:20:29,774 And they're known for being dumb pieces of shit. 576 00:20:29,784 --> 00:20:31,478 Uh, your friend's up there. 577 00:20:31,488 --> 00:20:32,747 The fuck? 578 00:20:32,757 --> 00:20:34,918 There he is, go! Kill him! 579 00:20:34,928 --> 00:20:37,456 - Murder him! - Oh. 580 00:20:37,466 --> 00:20:39,928 That's nice. How much for this one? 581 00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:41,464 (SWORDS CLANGING) 582 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,100 RINGMASTER: It's getting slicey. 583 00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:45,472 We got a swordfight. 584 00:20:45,482 --> 00:20:47,108 Getting a little edgy. Whoa! 585 00:20:47,118 --> 00:20:49,105 Collateral damage, but we love to see it, folks. 586 00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,083 - Look what you made me do! - What? 587 00:20:51,093 --> 00:20:54,223 Guillermo, you're really starting to piss me off! 588 00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:56,093 - RINGMASTER: Now he's swinging. - GUILLERMO: It was your idea, remember? 589 00:20:56,103 --> 00:20:57,791 - Get back here! - GUILLERMO: This is your plan! 590 00:20:57,801 --> 00:21:00,407 - Stop hiding behind Greg! - GUILLERMO: Why are you mad at me? 591 00:21:00,417 --> 00:21:02,655 - NANDOR: Sorry, can I... - Is this still part of the game? 592 00:21:02,665 --> 00:21:03,849 Fuck you! 593 00:21:03,859 --> 00:21:05,044 RINGMASTER: Now we're getting somewhere. 594 00:21:05,054 --> 00:21:07,984 Okay, that fucking hurts, you fucking dick! 595 00:21:07,994 --> 00:21:09,631 - (GRUNTING) - NANDOR: Ah, you're disarmed! 596 00:21:12,068 --> 00:21:14,797 - (GRUNTING) - Get back. 597 00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:17,145 - Aah! - RINGMASTER: Shit. 598 00:21:18,259 --> 00:21:20,078 I guess Peter Pan can't fly. 599 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:21,621 Oopsies. 600 00:21:22,032 --> 00:21:24,082 RINGMASTER: A predictable end, but an end 601 00:21:24,092 --> 00:21:25,719 - nonetheless. - Yeah! 602 00:21:25,729 --> 00:21:28,158 - Are you not entertained? - I killed my friend! 603 00:21:28,168 --> 00:21:29,927 I killed my friend! 604 00:21:29,937 --> 00:21:31,931 I may have killed my friend. 605 00:21:31,941 --> 00:21:33,969 RINGMASTER: Oh, shit! He's got a shovel! 606 00:21:33,979 --> 00:21:36,485 Hey-oh! 607 00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:38,559 (CHEERING, CLAMORING) 608 00:21:38,569 --> 00:21:41,785 Finish him! Finish him! 609 00:21:41,795 --> 00:21:44,056 Finish him! 610 00:21:44,066 --> 00:21:46,674 Finish him! Finish him! 611 00:21:46,684 --> 00:21:48,265 They are right, Guillermo. 612 00:21:48,275 --> 00:21:50,269 Finish me. 613 00:21:50,279 --> 00:21:53,542 - Finish him! Finish him! - RINGMASTER: Finish that motherfucker! 614 00:21:53,552 --> 00:21:55,078 NANDOR: Finish me! 615 00:21:55,088 --> 00:21:57,015 What kind of a vampire am I 616 00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:59,620 if cannot even defeat my own familiar?! 617 00:21:59,630 --> 00:22:01,191 I'm not gonna finish anyone, okay? 618 00:22:01,201 --> 00:22:03,195 I'm gonna let you win. 619 00:22:03,205 --> 00:22:06,234 I don't really want to kill you, but if it is the only way, 620 00:22:06,244 --> 00:22:08,805 - then thank you. - What? No. 621 00:22:08,815 --> 00:22:10,303 I don't mean really kill me. 622 00:22:10,313 --> 00:22:11,717 Just, like, pretend to snap my neck or something, 623 00:22:11,727 --> 00:22:13,782 so we can get the hell out of here. 624 00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:15,219 - That's a much better plan. - RINGMASTER: I want to see the blood! 625 00:22:15,229 --> 00:22:16,821 - Ready? - Ready. 626 00:22:16,831 --> 00:22:19,761 (GRUNTS) Hey! 627 00:22:19,771 --> 00:22:22,767 - (CROWD CHEERING) - RINGMASTER: Snap! Oh! Oh, oh, oh! 628 00:22:22,777 --> 00:22:25,205 He's dead as a doornail. 629 00:22:25,215 --> 00:22:28,245 Dead as doornail, ladies and gentlemen. 630 00:22:28,255 --> 00:22:30,801 We learned a lot tonight here at familiar fights. 631 00:22:30,811 --> 00:22:33,120 A lot about friendship, and how stupid 632 00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:34,924 and false and artificial it is. 633 00:22:34,934 --> 00:22:36,695 - You okay? - RINGMASTER: Hey, folks, make sure 634 00:22:36,705 --> 00:22:39,568 to take your familiar corpses with you as you leave. 635 00:22:43,785 --> 00:22:46,147 One moment, I'll be right with you, Xerxes. 636 00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:48,618 - (WHISPERING) - So... 637 00:22:48,628 --> 00:22:50,756 we went to the night market last night. 638 00:22:50,766 --> 00:22:54,230 Oh, my, the night market, what fun. 639 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,701 - Mm. - I already had plans last night, 640 00:22:56,711 --> 00:22:58,905 so it's a good thing I didn't get invited. 641 00:22:58,915 --> 00:23:01,009 And, here, I got you a gift. 642 00:23:01,019 --> 00:23:04,193 It came with these weird vials of whatever this is. 643 00:23:04,506 --> 00:23:07,122 I think I'll probably just keep all of these. 644 00:23:07,132 --> 00:23:09,861 And you can use the box to store your brooches or whatever. 645 00:23:09,871 --> 00:23:12,633 This is for me? This is so kind. 646 00:23:12,643 --> 00:23:14,904 I am very kind. Very good boss. 647 00:23:14,914 --> 00:23:17,143 GUIDE: I cannot remember the last time 648 00:23:17,153 --> 00:23:19,012 someone got me a gift. 649 00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:20,783 And I do have a lot of brooches. 650 00:23:20,793 --> 00:23:23,588 - I didn't think anyone noticed... - Oh! 651 00:23:23,598 --> 00:23:24,743 You have detected 652 00:23:24,753 --> 00:23:26,961 the sweet, intoxicating scent of the... 653 00:23:26,971 --> 00:23:29,132 (INHALES DEEPLY) Water Lily of The Nile. 654 00:23:29,142 --> 00:23:30,860 - Haven't you, Xerxes? - Uh-oh. 655 00:23:31,381 --> 00:23:33,546 NADJA: Water Lily of the Nile. 656 00:23:33,556 --> 00:23:34,944 That is what they call it. 657 00:23:34,954 --> 00:23:36,681 It's a medicinal flower. 658 00:23:36,691 --> 00:23:38,685 It's a narcotic that the Egyptians 659 00:23:38,695 --> 00:23:40,756 used to bury with their dead in order 660 00:23:40,766 --> 00:23:43,094 to help ease the sufferings of the afterlife. 661 00:23:43,104 --> 00:23:45,666 And according to the Compendium Narcoticum, 662 00:23:45,676 --> 00:23:48,305 - LASZLO: Some third-rate cobbler... - it is the only drug 663 00:23:48,315 --> 00:23:50,469 that helps with the pain of being a wraith. 664 00:23:50,479 --> 00:23:52,310 Very hard to come by. 665 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,749 And it is said 666 00:23:53,759 --> 00:23:56,392 that those little gobshites will do anything for it. 667 00:23:57,199 --> 00:24:00,829 Do I have enough of these to give to all of the wraiths? No. 668 00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:03,368 Do I have enough of these to give to the one wraith 669 00:24:03,378 --> 00:24:05,906 who tells all the other wraiths what to do? 670 00:24:05,916 --> 00:24:07,910 Maybe. 671 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,916 I think that is probably all I need. 672 00:24:10,926 --> 00:24:12,831 Don't you?! 673 00:24:12,841 --> 00:24:14,199 GUIDE: He won't do it. 674 00:24:14,209 --> 00:24:16,411 Union solidarity is a big deal to them. 675 00:24:16,421 --> 00:24:18,198 "We have a deal." 676 00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:20,169 There you go. Pleasure doing business with you. 677 00:24:20,179 --> 00:24:21,781 That's how it's done. 678 00:24:23,083 --> 00:24:24,350 (INDISTINCT WHISPERING) 679 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,046 GUIDE: I don't think they're happy. 680 00:24:26,056 --> 00:24:29,887 NADJA: If they all vote, he can overrule them, right? 681 00:24:29,897 --> 00:24:32,326 - What? - (GUIDE GASPS) 682 00:24:32,336 --> 00:24:33,695 GUIDE: Oh! 683 00:24:33,705 --> 00:24:36,401 GUIDE: Oh, no! 684 00:24:36,411 --> 00:24:38,415 Mm, shit, shit, shit. 685 00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:41,845 "Xerxes is no longer our leader. 686 00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:44,659 Also, he is dead." Obviously. 687 00:24:44,669 --> 00:24:46,321 Fine! Fuck it! 688 00:24:46,331 --> 00:24:48,193 You can have Mondays off with pay. 689 00:24:48,203 --> 00:24:49,756 And I will build you five 690 00:24:49,766 --> 00:24:51,774 new supply closets for you to sleep in. 691 00:24:53,077 --> 00:24:54,971 - (GROANS) - (CHUCKLES) 692 00:24:54,981 --> 00:24:56,246 (SPITS) 693 00:24:56,256 --> 00:24:58,494 - Now get back to work! - (INDISTINCT WHISPERS) 694 00:25:00,926 --> 00:25:02,434 There we go. 695 00:25:02,444 --> 00:25:04,257 I know you've had a disappointing day, 696 00:25:04,267 --> 00:25:06,828 so no rehearsal tonight. 697 00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:09,267 Would you like me to read one of your fairy stories to you? 698 00:25:09,277 --> 00:25:10,599 Uh, that's okay. 699 00:25:10,609 --> 00:25:13,341 I-I don't think I want to read those anymore. 700 00:25:13,351 --> 00:25:15,479 Maybe, can you read me something 701 00:25:15,489 --> 00:25:18,017 from one of your real books about real stuff? 702 00:25:18,027 --> 00:25:19,931 I thought you'd never ask. 703 00:25:20,955 --> 00:25:22,193 (LAUGHS) 704 00:25:22,203 --> 00:25:23,972 One of my personal favorites. 705 00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:25,097 Oh, yes. 706 00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:26,779 "The village of Holcomb 707 00:25:26,789 --> 00:25:29,011 "stands on the high wheat plains 708 00:25:29,021 --> 00:25:31,177 "of western Kansas, 709 00:25:31,187 --> 00:25:34,750 a lonesome area that other Kansans call 'out there.'" 710 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,354 - Are you still awake? - Um, yeah. 711 00:25:37,364 --> 00:25:39,293 It gets very heavy from here on in. 712 00:25:39,303 --> 00:25:43,133 ♪ This little piggy went to market ♪ 713 00:25:43,143 --> 00:25:47,877 ♪ And this little piggy stayed home ♪ 714 00:25:47,887 --> 00:25:52,152 ♪ This little piggy had roast beef ♪ 715 00:25:52,162 --> 00:25:56,471 ♪ This little piggy had none ♪ 716 00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:59,099 ♪ How I recall ♪ 717 00:25:59,109 --> 00:26:02,005 ♪ My dear old mother ♪ 718 00:26:02,015 --> 00:26:06,748 ♪ Putting me to bed ♪ 719 00:26:06,758 --> 00:26:10,522 ♪ She tucked me in and said ♪ 720 00:26:10,532 --> 00:26:15,432 ♪ To her little sleepyhead ♪ 721 00:26:15,442 --> 00:26:18,103 ♪ This little piggy ♪ 722 00:26:18,113 --> 00:26:22,256 ♪ Stayed home. ♪ 723 00:26:23,667 --> 00:26:26,191 - Synced & corrected by L0tech - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 53016

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