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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,160 OK, you can go. 2 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,240 This is the last of it. 3 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:21,640 Stop! 4 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,600 We'll give you the money back! 5 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,840 Please, we'll pay it back and more! 6 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,880 More! Give us, uh, eight weeks. 7 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:38,800 That's it. 8 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,600 No. Count it all again. 9 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:46,240 He's counted it three times already. That...is...it. 10 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,920 We did it? We're done. 11 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,800 Woo! 12 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:02,960 Oh, yes! 13 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:06,720 Ma'am. 14 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,280 Diane. How did you get into the police car park? 15 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,440 Oh, I went up to the front desk, said I had information 16 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,520 on the Somerset Stalker, desk sergeant went to get his notepad - 17 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,400 bingo. Right. 18 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,160 And can I help you with something? Yeah. 19 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:25,800 Cluck-cluck-cluck. 20 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,720 Excuse me? I found this little bad boy on a routine search 21 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,880 of the community centre, carried out while I was on a date during which 22 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,000 the guy said he was in love with me. 23 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,600 After one date. 24 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,000 You take evidence bags on dates? 25 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,760 What, you don't? 26 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:45,400 What do you imagine to be the significance of a plastic egg? 27 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:49,320 Oh. Well, ma'am, these can be used to transport or conceal 28 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:50,720 illegal drugs 29 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,320 cos they can be inserted into various human orifices. 30 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:58,120 Oh. You open the egg thusly, pop the drugs in, close the lid, 31 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,040 then gently insert it 32 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,080 into your anal or vaginal cavity. 33 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,480 Like that, or there. 34 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,520 Dealer's choice. Well, uh... Do you want to...? 35 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:17,560 It's evidence. Thank you, Diane, I will see to this. Pleasure. 36 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,640 Have a good day. 37 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,680 Jesus Christ. 38 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,440 Can I talk to you about something? 39 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,960 Since they granted us the community centre, 40 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,400 there are all these due diligence forms to fill in, 41 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,160 and this one's about money laundering. 42 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,640 Money laundering? Yes. Not-for-profits are a big target 43 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,280 for money launderers, obviously, 44 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,920 and we have to be whiter-than-white. 45 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,680 That's not the phrase I'd use. 46 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:02,320 So, I was checking our bank account and... 47 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:03,920 What am I looking at, exactly? 48 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:07,320 Here. Thousands of pounds going out 49 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,520 to something called Laycock Logistical Services. 50 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,400 Do you know what that is? Hmm. 51 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,440 During my date with Gregory Dillard, I immediately noticed 52 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,480 he shuffled into the pub with hunched shoulders and lowered head, 53 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,640 as if he doesn't want to be seen by the world, 54 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,200 like a paedo in a playground. I get that. 55 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,080 What do you mean, you get that?! During our conversation, 56 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:32,280 the subject told me he was so lonely he sometimes orders things 57 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:35,440 from Amazon just so he can see humans over the weekend. 58 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,040 Actually, here I've got written, 59 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,440 "My vagina feels as dry as a camel's arse." 60 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,760 This is good. Thank you so much, Diane. I mean, everything you are 61 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,880 saying completely chimes with my own findings. Which are? 62 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,080 Since his divorce, Greg has become so scared of rejection 63 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,880 that to protect himself from it, he has made himself hideous. 64 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:57,360 Mm. Yeah, I concur. I object. Overruled. Mm. 65 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:02,160 Also I think all this repression is actually making Greg very dangerous. 66 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,160 During our date on Friday, he kissed me 67 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,600 without me giving him any sexual signals. 68 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,400 You asked me to have intercourse with you! 69 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,680 Yeah. As a test. 70 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,320 Mm. What kind of test would that be?! 71 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,560 He came at me with such terrifying lust, 72 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,800 I was forced to pepper spray him. Seriously? 73 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,480 Why do you think I came home in tears? 74 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,080 I thought you were like that after every date. 75 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,240 Look who's here. 76 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,160 Hello, son. 77 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,880 You look well. 78 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,200 So do you. 79 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:50,520 One month. She's clean. As a whistle. 80 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,840 Good for you, Mum. Weird how it happened. 81 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:58,200 I was buying gear from this kid and he handed me a leaflet 82 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,720 for one of them drug support groups. 83 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,920 Got to start listening when even your dealer's worried about you, eh? 84 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,280 So, I want to move back in with Mum. No. 85 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,480 Why not? She's better now. 86 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,840 Look, I'm proper glad you're better and that, 87 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:17,600 but we both know one month's just not a long time. 88 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,640 One day at a time, son. 89 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,160 I couldn't agree with you more. 90 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:26,160 Esme, go and get ready for school, please. I got ages. 91 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,120 Es. Please go and get ready for school. 92 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:43,760 Do you know she's got a boyfriend now? Yeah, of course. 93 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,760 Missy's all grown-up. Still my little girl, though. 94 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,200 It's good to see you. 95 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,760 Congratulations on the coin. I hope it all works out. 96 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,480 Goodbye, Mum. 97 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,520 He's not my legal guardian any more. So, I can move in with you 98 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,640 if I want to. I can do what I want. 99 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,000 Your brother only wants the best for you. 100 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,520 You feel like a big man now? 101 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,920 What in God's name are you doing, Frank? 102 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,760 Ironing. 103 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:50,360 Well, how'd you learn to do that? Tom showed me a video 104 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,120 on the internet. 105 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,640 I'm going to mow the lawn next. 106 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,200 Who are you and what have you done with my father? 107 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,880 I'll get it. 108 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:03,000 It's sort of like making a pizza. Is it? 109 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,360 How's your mom doing? Oh, she's much better. 110 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:11,000 They think that she had an adverse reaction to some medication. 111 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,160 She's back in the home now. That's good. 112 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,600 We should visit again. 113 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,640 I'd appreciate that, thank you. 114 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,560 Grandpa, there's someone at the door for you. 115 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,240 Hey. 116 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,480 What's tickin', chicken? Don't call me chicken. 117 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:43,120 There's this woman, Claire, she's my second-in-command at the BJC. 118 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,880 Now that we've got our little situation under control, 119 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,720 she's started snooping around in our finances. Why? 120 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,160 She'll do anything to bring me down. 121 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,360 That is, unless I can bring her down first. 122 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,520 Is that something you could help with? 123 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:03,200 Are you sure you want to start throwing innocent folks 124 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,120 under the bus? Claire isn't innocent. 125 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,320 She's trying to take control of my group. 126 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,960 If I have to choose between Claire and the BJC, I choose the BJC. 127 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,560 You sound like Stalin before the purges. 128 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:20,720 Do you want to join me in jail if she carries on digging? 129 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,200 You and your second-in-command, 130 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,120 you both have BJC credit cards for expenses and whatnot? 131 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,600 Yeah. 132 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,880 Good. We'll run the old Windy City Railroad on her. 133 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,480 I need you to... 134 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,520 ..send her on a coffee run. 135 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,360 OK. So, let's imagine this is a really hip cocktail bar and, 136 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,360 Greg, let me see you walk in. 137 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:01,600 You're right, he does walk like he's on the Sex Offenders Register. Yep. 138 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,440 What? You know it's my sight that's bad, not my hearing? 139 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,280 Let's try again. OK, turn around. 140 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,240 Right, chin up. 141 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,480 Shoulders back. Walk. 142 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,240 You're too stiff, swing your arms. 143 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,120 You look like a chimp. 144 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:16,840 Put your thumbs in your belt. 145 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,520 OK. Now, lead with your crotch. 146 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,880 Yeah. Too much. Dial it back, dial it back. 147 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,720 Add a bit of swagger, yeah, yeah, that's it. 148 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,200 Easy there, cowboy. 149 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,640 I mean, it's... 150 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,120 ..it's...it's good enough? 151 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,960 OK, imagine Diane, she's back in the pub, she's doing a crossword. 152 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:40,120 Your date never happened, and then you walk over and chat her up. 153 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,880 Yep. Come on. Lean, Greg, lean, let me see some lean. 154 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,840 That's it, yes. 155 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,040 Yes, that's it, Greg. 156 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,640 And ask her out. 157 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:54,320 How? Say something off the cuff and flirty. Oh. 158 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,520 Apparently, eight across is "What's your number?" 159 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,040 Oh, really? That's interesting. 160 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,160 Yeah. 161 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,720 Cos six down is "Fuck off, weirdo." 162 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,520 Would that happen? 163 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,240 It just happened, Greg. Roll with it. Hello? 164 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:10,880 Hello, is that Lady Gabby? 165 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,240 This is Claire from the Bristol Justice Collective. 166 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,600 Oh, hi. How can I help? 167 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:19,160 Have you heard of something called Laycock Logistical Services? 168 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,080 Er, no. Should I have? 169 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:25,360 Forgive me being so direct but can I ask why you chose to donate 170 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,400 £100,000 to the BJC? I did what now?! 171 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,280 Don't think we're ungrateful. Thanks to you, we didn't have to rely on 172 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,960 a council grant, and we love our new office. I... 173 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,160 I didn't donate £100,00. 174 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:40,320 I realise you've asked to remain anonymous but I know it was you. 175 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,200 Sorry, I-I...I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. 176 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,080 My lawyer, Greg, handles the money matters. 177 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,080 Why are you asking all of this? 178 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:51,360 Because I think we could be the victims of money laundering. 179 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,600 You still there? 180 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,800 Let me look into it. 181 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,200 That wasn't flirting, you just shot me in the face! 182 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,480 So...how does it feel, 183 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:28,160 letting John fly the coop? Well, it may not seem this way now but... 184 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:32,080 ..what I did will eventually be viewed as a great kindness. 185 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,920 What do you mean? He means, uh... 186 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,120 He means letting me leave without a fight, don't you, Dad? 187 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,280 Right. 188 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,360 I always thought you'd pressed him into 189 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,080 a kind of indentured servitude, 190 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:48,120 so I was surprised when you let him have his freedom. 191 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:51,480 Girls, did I hear something about a trifle? 192 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:55,560 Yes. Come and help me put the sprinkles on the trifle. 193 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,120 This is Daddy's favourite, isn't it? 194 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,640 So, um, you didn't tell her 195 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,480 how it went down, did you? 196 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:09,160 Look, if you want to dress things up for the sake of your marriage, 197 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,240 I understand. What are you doing here, Dad? 198 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,680 I'm at lunch, what does it look like? 199 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,120 Yeah. Just thought you'd pop in for lunch? 200 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,320 Yeah, like I always do. 201 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,280 See you and Ruth and the grandkids. 202 00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:26,200 You fired me. 203 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,440 Like I said, it was nothing personal, only business. 204 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,480 Ah, business. You are ruining me, do you know that? 205 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,880 You have to be able to compartmentalise things, boy. 206 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,080 Work and family are two different things. 207 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:44,560 We're family, always will be. 208 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,680 Here we are. 209 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:51,320 Oh, my goodness. That is delicious. 210 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:55,680 Son? Is that not delicious, son? 211 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:58,120 It's whatever you say it is, Dad. 212 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,880 I'll get some bowls. Yeah. 213 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,920 Can I get six flat whites with oat milk, 214 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:11,240 two mint teas and a masala chai for me? No worries, coming up. 215 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:21,120 You're one thirsty lady. I drew the short straw for the coffee run. 216 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,280 Oh! 217 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,320 Uh... Oof... 218 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,880 Are you OK? I'll be OK, I'm fine. 219 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,200 Thank you. 220 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,720 Low blood sugar. Thank you. 221 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,880 I said to the bloke, "What is your problem? 222 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,680 "Nadger did a shit out of the window." 223 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,760 Anyway, long story short, my Uber rating is down to a 4.3, so... 224 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,320 Oh, hold on, chap, posh trim alert. Your Ladyship! 225 00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,920 How lovely to see you. I'm afraid Greg's not here at the moment. 226 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:03,040 I know. It's you I wanted to see. Fuck off, chap. 227 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,720 How can I help, Your Ladyship? I'd like to see my client account. 228 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,680 Nay problemo. 229 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:12,080 Um, I know you say you're a lesbian, 230 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,320 and I am totally on board with that, 231 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:20,200 but would you ever consider trying it with a bloke? 232 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,440 Oh, here we go. 233 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,280 Can you see if I've made any large donations 234 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,120 to something called the BJC? 235 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:30,520 Uh...yes, a very sizeable amount several months ago. 236 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,000 And Laycock Logistical Services? 237 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,040 Again, a number of large amounts. 238 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,720 In fact, you have one such payment going out today. 239 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,200 Freeze all payments this instant. 240 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,920 What? Just do it. 241 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,200 Who authorised these payments? 242 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,760 Er, Greg. Why? 243 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,720 What's going on? 244 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,680 I need a drink. Want to go and grab a drink? 245 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,400 Does a rocking horse have a wooden cock? 246 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,280 Yeah, I would absolutely... Sorry! 247 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,280 Apres-vous. 248 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:06,960 How much is that ting, though? Expensive. Expensive. 249 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,360 Oh, shit, you lot, stay there. 250 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:13,000 Yo. One sec, one sec, one sec. 251 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,320 See you later. 252 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,800 There you go. Thanks. 253 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,200 Right, get some rest. I'll take over. 254 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:56,360 Margie, you ever start thinking about a big old lobster dinner? 255 00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:00,160 Mm, no, I've never had lobster. You never had lobster? Why? 256 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:03,160 Well, I'm a single mum, not Camilla Parker Bowles. 257 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:07,200 Well, tonight I'm taking you to dinner. 258 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,920 A little fish restaurant I've had my eye on. 259 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,560 It's Wednesday, we can't go to a restaurant, I've got a wash on. 260 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,000 Table for four, seven o'clock, it's already booked. 261 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:19,560 Young Tom, throw on a necktie. It's a high-class joint. 262 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,000 Dad, is this some sort of Last Supper thing? 263 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,280 Have you got test results you need to tell me? 264 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,800 I'm fit as a fiddle. 265 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,840 I just want to treat my family to the finer things. 266 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,440 Make up for lost time. 267 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:34,400 I totally want to try lobster. Yeah. 268 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:39,560 I totally want to eat a lobster. Of course you do. Come on. 269 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,320 Margie, put your best dress on. 270 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,240 Let your old man treat ya. 271 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:49,600 Lobster. Lemon. Mwah! 272 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:53,960 Here we go! 273 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:58,080 So, Yamani wants to leave her husband. Really? Yeah. 274 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,160 Last weekend, Book Group, she told us that she would leave Raj 275 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,840 for Benedict Cumberbatch at the drop of a hat. Her words. 276 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,560 That doesn't mean she's going to leave her husband. That's like me 277 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:09,160 saying I'd leave Ben for Michael B Jordan, 278 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,000 or Dad saying he'd leave you for... Dame Helen Mirren. 279 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:16,200 Celebrity crushes don't mean anything. 280 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,160 I also fancy Dame Helen Mirren. 281 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:23,240 Oh, no, Ben's leaving me for a national treasure! 282 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,560 You're all idiots. 283 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,880 Have you done a business plan? What? 284 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,560 For your food stall in Weston. 285 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,240 Rani's sorting that. Yeah, it's all in my head, 286 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,320 I just need to get it down on paper. 287 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:46,200 Well, I could help you with that. 288 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,400 Your mother and I have been talking. 289 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,200 We have some money put aside for when Rani went to university 290 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,240 but, uh, as it's not happening... 291 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:59,240 We would like to help both of you with the food stall. 292 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,080 Really? Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 293 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,760 Thank you! Thank you so much! 294 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,160 Thank you. Thank you. 295 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,960 Pleasure. Pleasure, pleasure. 296 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,280 Hello? 297 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,320 Time's up. Where's my money. 298 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,040 We transferred the last of the money to you. 299 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,800 No, no, you're 10,000 short. What? 300 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,560 Deadline's today and I told you if you missed it, 301 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,480 I start hurting people you love. 302 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,720 You want cream or custard on your rhubarb crumble? 303 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,000 I'll have custard, Mum. 304 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,920 You having dinner with your mum and dad? 305 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:44,720 Yeah. Mm-hm. That's lovely. My mum and dad have passed on. 306 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,320 It's really important to treasure time with your mum and dad 307 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,160 cos they'll be gone one day. Like tomorrow, 308 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,680 if I don't get the rest of my fucking money. 309 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,480 Your dad and Ben are having both cream and custard. 310 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,520 Mum. I'm on the phone. It's a simple yes or no. 311 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,680 Yes. I'll have both. Oh, fine. 312 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,440 I don't understand what's happened. 313 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,920 Maybe there was some sort of problem with the shell company. 314 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,080 Not my concern. A deadline's a deadline. 315 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,240 I'm going to need more time to figure out what happened. 316 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,440 I warned you. No extensions, no negotiations. 317 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:18,200 You have till tomorrow morning or you and I will both be orphans. 318 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,480 Your crumble's getting cold. 319 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,200 What's wrong? 320 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,800 How is this happening? How is this happ...? 321 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,600 Why didn't you transfer the money? 322 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,160 I did but Gabby stopped it and froze her account. Unfreeze it. 323 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,480 Only she can do that. Then find her, you lanky bastard! 324 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,200 I dunno where she is and she's not answering her phone! 325 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,160 We were done. We were done! 326 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:55,160 Right. We're just going to have to ask for a bit more time. 327 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,160 This isn't asking a teacher for an extension for an essay! 328 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:01,440 He said he'd kill my parents! OK. Right. 329 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:06,200 How do we make £10,000 by tomorrow? 330 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,360 We could...hold up a bank? 331 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:11,600 We're not holding up a bank. We could hold up...a petrol station. 332 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:16,240 We're not holding up anything. We could kidnap somebody rich. 333 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,360 Gabby's dad's loaded. We could kidnap Gabby 334 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:21,080 and then threaten to cut off her fingers every hour. 335 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,000 OK, let's calm down, all right? We're not in the Yakuza. 336 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,200 And we'd run out of fingers before her father paid a penny. Oh! 337 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,880 Tony Robinson from Blackadder lives locally. Is he rich? 338 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,680 He's a white male actor. We're not kidnapping Baldrick! 339 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,400 We're not kidnapping anyone! Do you have a better idea?! 340 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,880 Pressure selling. What's pressure selling? 341 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,960 Huh? Pressure selling? Yeah, what about it? 342 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,280 You just brought it up. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. 343 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:47,720 You just mentioned pressure selling as a way to make fast sales? Yes. 344 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,960 We need to approach our client list with a time limit. 345 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:53,200 That's what we need to do. Bulk offers, OK? And persistence closing. 346 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,520 That's what we need to do. 347 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,920 We don't let them go anywhere until they have bought fast 348 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,480 and they have bought in bulk. I mean, it's a form of bullying... 349 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,120 You'd know something about bullying, 350 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,720 calling me a lanky bastard. Look in the mirror once in a while. 351 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,080 Who's a lanky bastard? 352 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,760 You just said I was a lanky bastard. What did you say? 353 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,320 I will never be able to go back to tuna in a can. 354 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,360 You want another lobster, I can tell. 355 00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:23,720 Do people have two in a row? 356 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,320 One time in Maine, I ate five. 357 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,200 For a bet, which I lost. 358 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,680 How many did the other guy have? I'm not sure, 359 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,000 I was wheeled out with butter poisoning. 360 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,200 I might get a coffee. 361 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:46,880 Oh! Masala chai. You have to try a cup. 362 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,960 Nothing washes down shellfish better. 363 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,240 OK, can we get two masala chais, please? 364 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:03,480 What's up? It's Lady G, live from Bar Revelation, 365 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:09,040 which is appropriate as I'm thinking about telling you...a secret. 366 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:32,480 Yes, yes, but we are about to close up shop soon and I would hate 367 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:33,960 for you to get to the weekend, 368 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,600 not get your hands on a nice, strong macchiato. 369 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,200 What if you find yourself real thirsty after we close? 370 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,520 Yeah, fine, then - hang up. Still there, are we? 371 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,480 Cos you know a great offer when you hear one, 372 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,000 but this offer must end midnight. Look, if I were you, 373 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,640 I would stock up for the holidays. Christmas. Easter. Half term. 374 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:55,440 Take your pick. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. What? 375 00:23:55,440 --> 00:24:01,040 ..you might think that he was, you know, a nice sweet nerd. 376 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:05,480 But he isn't. No. And this is a story of discovery 377 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:09,280 but also of betrayal, and I'm not sure if I should tell it 378 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,720 because if I do then, well, he won't have a flatmate any more, 379 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,560 he will have a cellmate. Oh. Yeah. Shots fired. 380 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,240 Is that live? Very. 381 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,800 Does she know about the money laundering? Dunno. 382 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,000 I bet Claire's told her something. 383 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,120 She is trying to take the BJC away from me. 384 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:31,600 She's not even from Bristol. She's bloody Scottish! 385 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,520 Bloody foreigners. Coming over here, 386 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,560 stealing our black civil rights groups, eh? Focus! 387 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:40,240 You better find Gabby and stop her talking. 388 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,520 Go! 389 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,440 Business is booming all of a sudden. 390 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,160 Oh, is any of that going spare? 391 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:24,200 I'm back, unleashed. You know what? 392 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,360 You shouldn't trust anyone. Don't... Don't... 393 00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:28,920 Don't trust your...your family, don't trust your friends, 394 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,720 don't trust lawyers called Greg Dillard. 395 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,120 Yeah, and do you know what? He's a fucking creep, actually. 396 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:36,880 I went on his internet search history once, just for fun, and he 397 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,840 searched "Viagra, how much is too much?" People need to know that 398 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:45,400 they can't break my heart any more, don't they? I mean, really? 399 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:49,400 Let me know in the comments if you think I should tell my story. 400 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,040 Did she say Greg Dillard? Mm-hm. What is that? 401 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,840 Remember Lady Gabby? Her live feed just popped up. 402 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,240 She's on a massive bender, 403 00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:00,160 blabbering on about a criminal conspiracy. What a hot mess. 404 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,520 Bring her in. Huh? Remember that kid who was in for armed robbery, 405 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,280 we thought he had drug ties? Yeah. 406 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,080 Well, the lawyer who magically showed up to take his case... 407 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,160 Was Greg Dillard. 408 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:12,160 The same lawyer we saw in court defending Christian Taylor. 409 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,920 The same lawyer who's doing CS at Bennysfield. Go. 410 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:34,040 OK, I'm putting you down for three flat whites and an expresso martini. 411 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,840 I will offer you this at a reduced price if you buy in bulk. 412 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,760 Well, then throw a party. 413 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:43,680 You'll be Mr Popular. All right, cool. 414 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,640 What are you going to say to Grandad? 415 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,640 Thank you for my lobster. Thank you for my lobster. 416 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:55,400 Yeah, thank you, Dad, for a lovely evening. Oh, sure. And this is? 417 00:26:55,400 --> 00:27:01,440 Masala chai. Cardamom. Cinnamon. 418 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,000 Cloves. Delicious. 419 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:08,160 Mm! 420 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,760 Smell that. 421 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,960 I'd like to pay with this, please. Of course. 422 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,200 Where are you going? Inside? My friends are all expecting me. 423 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,480 Nah, you're not coming in here. Why not? Cos the people we want in here 424 00:27:56,480 --> 00:28:00,120 look like they're going to provide glamour, not IT support. 425 00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:03,080 Step aside, mate. All right? 426 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:05,040 Gabby! Mate, step away from the glass 427 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,640 before I put your head through it. Seriously. Just let me in. No. 428 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,880 Now, move. Come on. All right, I'm going. 429 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,440 I could laugh at you if I want. 430 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,280 Gabby! Ga... 431 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,880 Cool. I'll send someone to you now. Ah, but this is a one-time deal. 432 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,160 Yeah. Only for our most valued customers. 433 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:22,480 You absolutely are, madam, yes, both you and your grandson. 434 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,600 All right, so shall we say your usual? 435 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:28,320 Oh, yeah. We've got our own dedicated delivery team. 436 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,040 Karmacoma, Jamaica and Roma. 437 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:26,080 Hiya. What? Can I come in, please? 438 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,320 Password? 439 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,280 Is it my mother's maiden name? 440 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,480 Jesus! Woo! 441 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:40,120 Don't mind me, I'm just...passing through. 442 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,520 Greg? Yeah? 443 00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,040 It's Rosie. 444 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:47,760 I was giving you a blowie when you reversed into that police car. 445 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,360 Oh, right, yeah. How's it going? 446 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,520 Yeah, yeah, mustn't grumble. Keeping busy. 447 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,960 What happened that night with you, after? 448 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,240 Cos I just got off with a warning. Did you? Yeah. Yeah, I got, um, 449 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,640 120 hours of community service. Oh, no. Yeah. 450 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,080 How did it go? Not great, if I'm honest. 451 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,040 I ended up getting blackmailed 452 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,640 and now I'm in hock to a ruthless London drug dealer. 453 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,960 I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah. 454 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:16,040 Oi! I'm sorry to break up this little reunion 455 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,880 but I'm paying by the hour here, mate. Oh! 456 00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:22,000 Shut up, you little bitch! Yes, mistress. Eh, listen. 457 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,520 I'm done here in 20 minutes if you want anything doing. 458 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,520 We could finish that blowie that you never got. 459 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,840 That's very good of you, but no, I can't, actually, 460 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,640 cos I've got to quickly try and find one of my other clients before she, 461 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:36,040 um, sends me to jail. Oh. You have been a bad boy. 462 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,320 Anyway, lovely to see you. It's been good to see you. 463 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,160 Thank you so much. Sorry for interrupting you. 464 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,240 OK. 465 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:47,840 Woo! You've been a bad boy! Oh, yes, you have! 466 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:57,400 Ooh! 467 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,520 Evening. 468 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,480 I don't suppose you've got a member of the landed gentry 469 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:08,800 in here, have you? 470 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,520 There's so many whips. 471 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:43,960 Gabby! 472 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:46,640 Gabby? 473 00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:58,840 Gabby? 474 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:07,920 Gabby. 475 00:34:09,240 --> 00:34:12,200 Judas! Can we speak in private, please? 476 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:13,760 Anything you have to say, 477 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:17,160 you can say in front of my real friends here. 478 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:18,680 There's a policeman here. 479 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,520 Good. I have things to say to him. 480 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,160 Just let me explain first. It's too late for explaining. 481 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,560 Just hear me out. And if you still want to turn me in, 482 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:29,080 I won't stop you. 483 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:32,760 Please. 484 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,840 Police. 485 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:46,440 Has anyone seen Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe? 486 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,240 Right, then, you cheeky little monkeys. Guess who's brought 487 00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:52,080 the goods. We have got Chang and a lovely bit of MD...Mmm... 488 00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:55,200 ..mazing that you are here, Detective, 489 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:59,000 because these are drugs. 490 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,200 Yuck. 491 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,760 Did you find my watch, by the way? 492 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,760 We should get a move on, I think. I want an explanation, right now. 493 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:18,080 Shall we do that at home over 494 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,960 a cup of tea and a Mr Kipling? No, explain. What have you been doing? 495 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:24,440 It's... It's so complicated, Gabby. Well, then un-complicate it, Greg. 496 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,760 I've been using your client account 497 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:30,080 to launder the proceeds of an illegal drug operation. 498 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,800 Right. That's it, is it? Yeah. 499 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,680 Cool. Great. 500 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:42,080 Great. Shall we go? No, not great, Greg! Not cool! 501 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,120 You've been using me to launder...?! 502 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:50,680 So when you...when you said that everyone else in my life was a mooch 503 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:54,120 and a hanger-on and I thought that that meant you really cared about 504 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,200 me, that was bollocks? 505 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,560 No, I do care about you. Of course. 506 00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,440 How can you say that?! 507 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:04,640 Literally no-one in my life has used me more than you! 508 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,360 I know. I'm sorry. 509 00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:11,520 You're my consigliere. 510 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:18,080 I know you hired me to protect you and look after you 511 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,040 and, uh, I betrayed you. 512 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,600 But you have to know, I would never deliberately hurt you. 513 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,920 You know, money laundering and exploiting you, 514 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,000 that's not something I would choose to do. 515 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,120 It's not just that you're my lawyer, Greg. 516 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,440 I thought you were my friend. 517 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:38,800 I am your friend. 518 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,240 I know. I'm so sorry, Gabby. 519 00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:48,120 I don't even know how I ended up doing this. 520 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,400 All I know is that there's guns, and threats, 521 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,240 and everyone's lives are in danger if I don't do this. 522 00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:59,160 Whose lives? Who else is involved? 523 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:02,240 Rani, Ben, Myrna, John, Frank. 524 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:07,600 I'm the only one who doesn't know about this? 525 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:08,640 Yeah. 526 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:28,400 Yup, all here. 527 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,720 Go on, kids, be on your way. 528 00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,000 Police are watching the building. 529 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,400 What we going to do? 530 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,360 Fuck. We're all fucked. 531 00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:07,760 Our humble thanks for attending Fight Back Bristol. 532 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,240 We'll be back next week, 533 00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:11,640 so be sure to tell all of your friends. 534 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:13,360 And remember - 535 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:16,280 we will NEVER give up on you 536 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:18,760 so, please, don't give up on yourselves. 537 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:23,040 And if anyone should offer you drugs, what do we do? 538 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:24,560 Just say no. 539 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:50,760 Fight Back Bristol? What is that? 540 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,440 Grassroots initiative. People like us with criminal records 541 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,880 just trying to ensure that the kids 542 00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,400 don't make the same mistakes that we did. I mean, 543 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,120 can't wait for the system to step in, can you? 544 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,040 So you're all activists now? 545 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:08,880 Just caring members of the community. 546 00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:16,520 You're feeling a deep ideological connection to the movement, are you? 547 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:21,440 What's your home address? 548 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,720 He lives in Clifton Towns. 549 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:31,800 He can't speak for himself? Well, yeah, of course he can. 550 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,440 But if what you're implying is that there's no place 551 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,440 for a white, middle-class man in this, 552 00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,360 then you'd be wrong. In some ways... 553 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,640 Spare me the lecture. Please. 554 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:05,040 Are we OK? Everyone OK? 555 00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:08,160 John, are you OK? That was close! Ha! 556 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:12,040 Yeah, way too close. Definitely way too close. 557 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:15,800 Oh, come on, you've got to admit - it's a bit of a thrill. 558 00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:17,680 We weren't ziplining, Rani. 559 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,120 Oh, my God. You're so boring! 560 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:23,840 I don't want to run around with drugs and guns and money. 561 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,080 That's different to being boring. 562 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,280 Be careful, Rani. 563 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,040 You know who told me this before? 564 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:34,040 Who? Christian Taylor. 565 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:35,720 And that's why he's in jail 566 00:41:35,720 --> 00:41:36,760 and I'm not. 567 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:42,240 Hi, lovelies. How's the drug dealing going? 568 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,280 You told her? 569 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:57,840 My mum killed herself when I was six years old. 570 00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:59,320 My dad was never home 571 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:04,240 so I was just passed from caretaker to caretaker. 572 00:42:04,240 --> 00:42:06,320 Never really had a real family. 573 00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:12,800 But all of us over the past few months, working together, 574 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:14,120 laughing together... 575 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,440 ..it's kind of felt like we were a family. 576 00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,800 I'm sorry, Gabby. We should never have involved you. 577 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:29,480 I can only imagine how upsetting it must be to wake up 578 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:34,440 and find yourself embroiled in a criminal conspiracy. 579 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,560 I'm not upset because you've involved me 580 00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,040 in a criminal conspiracy. 581 00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:42,040 I'm upset because you haven't. 582 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:45,120 What? I know everything about drugs. 583 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:48,160 I've been using them since I was 12. 584 00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,000 I know what's good, I know what's bad, 585 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,160 I know the jargon, the prices. 586 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:55,120 I could help you. 587 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,520 So you're saying you WANT to be a part of a criminal conspiracy? 588 00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,560 Yes! 589 00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,480 Now, which one of you is the Mr Big? 590 00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:27,720 What happened to you last night? 591 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:30,760 I-I talked my way out of it 592 00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:32,320 but it was so awkward 593 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:35,560 that even the bloke in the gimp mask couldn't look at me. 594 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:38,880 Luckily, I managed to get away when an ambulance showed up. 595 00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,480 Some pervert got his fist stuck inside someone else. 596 00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,200 Did he lose his watch as well? 597 00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:46,720 I need to make a fresh transfer to Laycock Logistical Services. 598 00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:49,120 W—We froze the account. Well, now we need to thaw it out 599 00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:53,320 cos I've got a lot of logistics I need servicing. So, chop chop. Um... 600 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:26,800 We did it. 601 00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:36,520 Ain't you happy? 602 00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:41,520 Yeah. Of course I am. Tell your face then. 603 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,320 What's eating you? 604 00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,640 Nothing. Well, I... 605 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,760 Ben said something but... 606 00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:56,040 ..it doesn't matter. It's fine. What did he say? 607 00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,240 He said I remind him of you. 608 00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:02,600 When you was in the sack? 609 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,520 No. When we were arguing. 610 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:10,040 I said he was boring, 611 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:12,480 then he said that... 612 00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,000 ..I'm enjoying this gang shit too much. 613 00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:18,600 Are you? 614 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:21,080 No. 615 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,640 When me and Ben were just young guys, 616 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,560 olders in our neighbourhood all had cars, 617 00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:34,800 nice jewellery and cash, working for The Dean. 618 00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:38,160 There was easy money to be made running with them. 619 00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:44,760 And on top of that, the status and respect and... 620 00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:48,320 ..you know, the hype gets addictive, right? 621 00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:54,040 Your boy Ben was smart. He resisted. 622 00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:57,520 Me? I started in country, 623 00:45:57,520 --> 00:45:59,640 then started running my own team. 624 00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:03,440 And the whole time, I'm thinking, "This isn't who I am." 625 00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:07,440 I'll just make some quick P's then go back to where I was. 626 00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:11,560 But one day, you wake up and it IS who you are. 627 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:14,720 And it's too late to go back to where you was. 628 00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:18,200 And the next thing you know, you're wearing the same grey tracksuit 629 00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,720 with the same grey socks and the same grey underwear - 630 00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:23,560 because they're all washed together - 631 00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:28,120 spending 23 hours a day in the same four-square-metre room. 632 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:29,720 Take it from me... 633 00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:32,640 ..that's boring. 634 00:46:46,240 --> 00:46:49,000 Four black Americanos, a masala chai 635 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:50,840 and a piece of that cake. 636 00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:52,520 Right, two seconds. 637 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:57,120 Morning. 638 00:46:57,120 --> 00:47:01,880 Right, there is a coffee there for you 639 00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:05,600 and a masala ch... Ooh! 640 00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:09,240 Shit! I am so sorry. Oh! 641 00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:11,360 Let's just get that off of there. 642 00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,400 Doesn't matter that it's a bit dry in there. 643 00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,920 Sorry about that. I'm more fingers than thumbs today. 644 00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:22,320 OK... 645 00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:24,960 Right, let me get you some more tissues... Please. 646 00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:26,000 Coffee... 647 00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,680 Oh... Right, tissues, tissues. 648 00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,240 What was you doing in the house, all alone with a boy, 649 00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:37,960 without telling me? It's my house, too. Oh, it's your house? 650 00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:41,440 Do you pay bills? Do you know what? Furthermore, give me your phone. 651 00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:44,080 Why? Give me your phone. I want to know who the guy is. 652 00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:46,440 Give me your phone. He's none of your business. 653 00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,200 It was past midnight on a school night 654 00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:51,360 and you were here chilling with some boy. We were studying! 655 00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:54,440 This is why I want to live with Mum. Because she lets me do what I want. 656 00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,520 It's because she's a smackhead! Not any more! 657 00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:00,760 She just trusts me. 658 00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:02,040 Dickhead. 659 00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:12,240 You have to let her live her own life. Sometimes. 660 00:48:12,240 --> 00:48:17,160 Not yet I don't. She's 16. You can't protect her all the time. 661 00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,400 Yeah, well, I can try. Well, my parents tried. 662 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:23,480 They tried to wrap me up in cotton wool my whole life. 663 00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:26,760 Look how I turned out. 664 00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:29,400 I'm a drug dealer. 665 00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:39,920 OK. You're not...boring. 666 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:41,960 You're right. 667 00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,560 I was getting hooked on buzz. 668 00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:45,800 So, anyway, 669 00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:46,880 it... 670 00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,560 It's over. I'm back. 671 00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:54,680 I'm sorry. 672 00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:03,120 You were starting to scare me there. 673 00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:05,640 I thought I was sharing a bed with the Godfather. 674 00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,920 About Es. 675 00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:16,880 If things go wrong with your mum, she knows where to find you. 676 00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:25,200 Myrna? Claire? Um, have you got a minute? 677 00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,480 I just found something a bit odd, 678 00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,040 and I was wondering if you could help me get to the bottom of it. 679 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:32,360 Something odd? 680 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,920 Yeah, I was just going through the BJC bank account - you know, 681 00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:37,320 doing the money laundering due diligence and everything. 682 00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:41,920 I just found this payment on Claire's company card for £518. 683 00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:45,000 What? Let me see. Is that your card number? 684 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:48,480 Yes, but what's Le Grande Poisson? 685 00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:50,880 I think it means "the big fish". It's, um, 686 00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:54,280 a fancy seafood place in Clifton. But did you use your BJC card 687 00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,080 to pay for a meal in there or anything? 688 00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:59,960 No, I've never even been there. No? It's probably some kind of mistake. 689 00:49:59,960 --> 00:50:02,560 Greg, could you call them, please? On it. 690 00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,120 Le Grand Poisson, how may I help? 691 00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:12,560 Uh, hi. Can I speak to your manager, please? This is he. 692 00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:14,600 Hi, my name's Myrna and I just wanted to check 693 00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:18,080 and see if a credit card was used in your restaurant last night. 694 00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:21,520 It ends in... 9335. 695 00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:22,920 Hold on, please. 696 00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:26,680 Someone probably stole your card. No, it's here. 697 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:31,200 Yes. That card was used here last night. Right, um, 698 00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,200 can you tell me what it was spent on? 699 00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:35,440 Three dozen oysters, four lobster mains, 700 00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:38,200 a truffle mac and cheese, two bottles of champagne... 701 00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,720 Someone was peckish. ..and two masala chais. 702 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:47,680 Right, so, that's your drink, isn't it? Yes, but... OK, thank you. 703 00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:49,320 You're welcome. 704 00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:53,400 Claire, if you were in my position, 705 00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:54,880 what would you do right now? 706 00:50:56,200 --> 00:51:00,040 This is... Someone has done this. Done what? 707 00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:01,960 I don't know. Made it look like... 708 00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:05,000 Claire, it gives me no pleasure to say this 709 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,680 but, while we investigate this matter, 710 00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:10,600 I feel I have to suspend you. 711 00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:13,560 Suspend me? We need to be whiter-than-white. 712 00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:17,880 Erm... 713 00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:19,520 OK. 714 00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:20,600 Yeah, sure. 715 00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:54,360 What? 716 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:59,680 Activism is a fight. Sometimes, you have to fight dirty. 717 00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:01,640 What was I supposed to do? 718 00:52:16,240 --> 00:52:17,280 Hey. 719 00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:20,680 Hey. 720 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:28,720 Hey, you were right. You know, about giving people second chances. 721 00:52:28,720 --> 00:52:31,840 About forgiveness. Seriously? 722 00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,160 If you ever need anything, 723 00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:39,400 just pick up the phone and I'll come, yeah? I'll be there. 724 00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,120 Come here. 725 00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:46,400 Thanks, Ben. 726 00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:07,680 We need to go for a little ride. 727 00:53:11,240 --> 00:53:13,360 You got me anything from the gift shop? 728 00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:16,840 All I've got for you is a deal. I'd prefer a muffin. 729 00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:19,840 I know Rani Rekowski and her friends are running your crew. 730 00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:23,280 And I know you're all in bed with The Dean. 731 00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:27,040 Do you know the numbers for this week's EuroMillions? 732 00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:29,440 Co-operate. 733 00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:31,560 Help me collar The Dean, 734 00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:35,720 and I'll get you out of here. How does that sound? 735 00:53:35,720 --> 00:53:38,560 Like a great episode of Line Of Duty. 736 00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:44,720 Do you think it hasn't been noticed by people in here 737 00:53:44,720 --> 00:53:47,200 how many times I've visited you? 738 00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:48,480 Do you know how easy it would be 739 00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:51,400 for me to spread the word around that you're my favourite informant? 740 00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,520 How long do you think you'd last after that? 741 00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:00,600 Think about my offer. 742 00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,640 Evening, all. 743 00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:36,920 I have good news 744 00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:40,480 and I have even better news. 745 00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:45,880 The good news is, I have received payment, in full, on time, 746 00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:49,160 as you promised. I'll be honest, I didn't think you'd make it. 747 00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:53,800 And my boys are livid. They dug ditches out the back for nothing. 748 00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:57,960 Now, on to the even better news. 749 00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,600 What's that? This, my dear, 750 00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:04,760 is ten kilos of pure uncut cocaine 751 00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:08,280 that you are going to shift for me. 752 00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:10,720 No. We're done. 753 00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:13,560 No, you're The Beatles of drug selling 754 00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,480 and I can't break up the band. Don't make me the Yoko. 755 00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,000 And think of this as your White Album. 756 00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:20,200 This isn't fair! 757 00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:21,800 We did what you asked! 758 00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:23,160 Fair? 759 00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:29,240 You're lucky your parents aren't on TV, in tears, 760 00:55:29,240 --> 00:55:34,840 asking for information of your fucking whereabouts. 761 00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:37,920 We're not doing it. This is over. 762 00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:41,320 This is over when I say it's over. 763 00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:42,960 And I'm sorry, 764 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:46,000 but it ain't fucking over. 765 00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:05,160 He's never going to stop. 766 00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:09,120 Why would he? He's on to a good thing. 767 00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:13,440 I cannot deal drugs for the rest of my days. 768 00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:15,760 Obviously! None of us can. 769 00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:18,960 Right, what are we going to do? 770 00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:21,320 We'll kill him. Sorry, what? 771 00:56:23,240 --> 00:56:27,800 Well, any other ideas before we settle on murder? 772 00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:30,520 Anyone heard of the Brass Bunkum? 773 00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:38,680 Short Change Hero by The Heavy 61021

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