All language subtitles for Alias.Grace.S01E04.Part.4.1080p.NF.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-NTb

See, that's what happens when you take
an extra piece of bread for breakfast.

Don't try that, Grace.

That evening was so beautiful,
it made a pain in my heart.

It's when you cannot tell
whether you're happy or sad.

But I thought that if I could have a wish,

it would be that nothing would ever change
and we would stay that way forever.

Good morning, Dr. Jordan.

Good morning, Grace.

I am just reading
James McDermott's confession.

He says, "Grace was very jealous

of the difference made between her
and the housekeeper, whom she hated,

and to whom she was
very insolent and saucy."

He claims you said...

What, is she better than us?

That she is to be treated like a lady
and eat and drink the best?

She is not better born than we are,
or better educated.

This is a different story
than the one you told me.

What do you think of
when you hear that, Grace?

I've heard it before.

It's bad luck to laugh at the dead.
The dead don't like being laughed at.

Would you like me to continue on
where we left off yesterday, sir?

Yes, please, Grace.

Smell this.

Isn't it lovely?

And then I put on some hair pomade.
It gives the hair a wonderful shine.

-Will you brush out my hair for me, Grace?
-Yes, with pleasure.

That feels most luxurious.
You have a good touch, Grace.

Your hair reminds me of my friend's hair.

What friend is that?

An old friend.

We will need a chicken tonight.

Captain Boyd and Colonel Bridgeford
are coming to dine.

-Have McDermott kill one for us.
-Of course.

Won't we need two chickens?
There will be six to dine with the ladies.

There will be no ladies.

The wives of these gentlemen
never condescend

to darken the door of the house,
and I will not be taking dinner with them.

They smoke and drink and talk of their
fine deeds in putting down the rebellion.

Just do as I asked you.

McDermott?

McDermott?

James?

McDermott?

Grace?
What are you doing in McDermott's loft?

-We need him to kill a chicken.
-He's probably gone drinking in town.

Can't find McDermott.

He's always going off when he's needed.
You'll have to kill the chicken yourself.

Oh, no. I can't do it.
I've never done it before.

There's a first for everything.

But I cannot shed
the blood of a living thing.

Don't be a silly goose, Grace.
It's easy enough.

Just take an axe
and whack it right through the neck.

Nancy, I cannot bear the thought of it.

Don't come back without a dead bird.
And hurry.

Mr. Kinnear likes his meals on time.

-What's the matter, Grace?
-Could you kill this chicken for me?

There's nothing easier.
I would be glad to.

You are so squeamish and tender-hearted.

Thank you, Jamie.

I don't have anything to give you for it,
but I will remember it in the future.

I will help you any other time
you need it.

That bird needs to go in the oven.

-I see you've made a conquest.
-What do you mean?

Jamie Walsh.
He has a bad case of puppy love.

He used to be my admirer,
but now he's yours.

He's not much of a catch.
He's only a boy.

A worm will always turn.

Will you go down to the cellar
and fetch another jug of wine?

I don't like the spiders.

And she was screaming, "My farm! My life!"

And do you remember, Tom says,
"Your burning farm is not your problem.

It is your disgusting rebel husband."

I thought I could educate her.

One can learn valuable lessons
at the most difficult times.

Where did you find this one, Tom?

Any more on the tree she came from?
And if so, are they ripe yet?

What have you done with Nancy?

Is she locked in a cupboard
with the rest of your Turkish harem?

Look to your fine blue eyes, my dear.

Nancy might scratch them out
if old Tom looks at you sideways.

She's a fiery little rebel, that one.
Her last name is Montgomery.

Just like the tavern
where the rebels gathered.

Best be careful you don't fall
under her influence.

At the time, Montgomery himself
was in the United States,

having escaped from Kingston Penitentiary
in a most daring manner.

So it is possible
for such a thing to be done.

I don't think Captain Boyd
was a real Captain.

Some men took up their titles

just for having gotten their legs around
a horse on the day of the rebellion.

-What about Mr. Kinnear?
-I don't know and I don't ask.

But he would have been
on the side of the government.

My best friend's family lost their farm
to the government troops.

I don't know and I don't ask.

I'm getting too fat.

We must and should pray for divine grace.

We should not be puffed up with vanity

and think that our prayers
might have any effect.

The first is the last
and the last is the first.

There are many whited sepulchers
walking around in our midst.

Fair on the outside but filled

with rot and corruption within.

We should guard against complacency
and should not let our lamps go out.

Because no man knows
the day or the hour thereof.

We must await in fear and trembling.

And what did you think
of this sermon, Grace?

I thought to myself, if you could not get
divine grace by praying for it,

or any other way,
or ever know if you had it or not,

you might as well forget about the matter
and go about your business.

Because whether you were damned
or saved was no concern of yours.

No use crying over spilt milk if you don't
know whether the milk is spilt or not.

And if God alone knows,
then God alone can tidy it up.

Thinking of such things makes me drowsy.

We will be saved
by divine grace alone

and no efforts on our part
or any good works that we might do.

Divine grace...

It's an outrage.

An outrage.

Let's go. I can't stand being stared at.

I thought, these are cold
and proud people and not good neighbors.

They are hypocrites.

They think the church is a cage
to keep God in so he will

not go wandering about during the week
poking his nose into their business.

and looking into the depths and doubleness
of their hearts and lack of true charity.

They believe they need only be bothered
about him on Sundays

when they have their best clothes on
and their faces straight

and their hands washed and their gloves on
and their stories all prepared.

But God is everywhere
and cannot be caged in as men can.

-Where were you yesterday?
-I finished my morning chores.

It's none of your damn business
where I went.

You have no right to vanish
just when you might be wanted most.

How was I supposed to know?
I can't read the future.

You will not spend much more of it
in this house.

You shall leave at the end of the month.

Now take care of the horse,
unless you consider

such a thing beneath your royal highness.

I'm just as glad. I do not like being
ordered about by a woman.

And it's worse considering
what type of a woman she is.

I don't care to stay a moment longer
with such a parcel of whores.

What do you mean by that?

Do you not know that Nancy
and Mr. Kinnear sleep together?

It's no secret.
All the neighborhood knows of it.

That cannot be true.

You can scarcely see the nose
before your own face.

Nancy had a baby when she was working
over the Wrights' farm

by a young lay-about
who ran off and left her.

The baby died thanks to midwife's mercy.

Mr. Kinnear hired her
and took her in anyway,

which no respectable man would have done.

It was clear from the first
what he had in mind.

Once the horse is out of the stable,
it's no good shutting the barn door.

A turtle...

A woman once on her back
is like a turtle in the same plight.

She can scarcely turn herself right side
up again and then she's fair game for all.

I don't believe you.

Though I protested, it came to me
that for once he was telling the truth.

And I was ashamed of myself for letting
myself be imposed on in that fashion.

For being so blind and foolish.

I'm sorry to say that after this I lost
much of the respect I'd felt for Nancy,

as being older
and the mistress of the house.

You've missed by the hutch.

- Why don't you do it?
- Grace!

Since nothing is ever good enough for you.
Do it yourself.

Or can you not bend down
in that fine dress?

-How dare you!
-How dare I what?

Why is McDermott not helping you
with that, Grace?

-It is too heavy for you.
-It is my task, sir.

-Here, I'll carry it up for you.
-Oh no, sir. I cannot allow it.

'Tis up to me what will be allowed or not.
I am master of the house, am I not?

Yes.

Come then, Grace.
I will take it upstairs for you.

Nancy plans to turn me away before
the month is up and to withhold my wages.

If she treats me this way,
she'll treat you the same.

We need to join together
and demand our rights.

I hate all Englishmen.

-Mr. Kinnear is a Lowland Scot.
-It's the same thing.

They're all thieves, whores,
stealers of land.

They grind down the poor wherever they go.

They deserve to be knocked on the head
and thrown down a cellar, both of them.

And I'm the man for the job.

I thought this was just a way of talking,

as he was always a boaster.

My own father when drunk threatened me
this way but had never in fact done so.

The best thing at such times was just to
nod and agree and take no further notice.

-So you did not believe him, at first?
-Not at all.

Nor would you, sir, if you yourself
had been listening.

I took it all for idle threats.

Before he was hanged, McDermott
said that you put him up to it.

He claimed that you intended to murder
Nancy and Mr. Kinnear

by putting poison in their porridge and
that he repeatedly refused to help you.

-You're such a coward.
-I will not be part of it.

-You'll go straight to hell.
-It's the simplest thing in the world.

We needn't even get any blood
on our hands.

Who told you such a lie?

It's written in McDermott's confession.

Just because a thing has been written
down, sir, does not mean it's God's truth.

You are quite right about that, Grace.
But all the same, what do you say to it?

Well, sir, it's one of the silliest things
I've ever heard.

Why do you say that?

If I wanted to put poison
into a bowl of porridge, sir,

why would I have needed help
from the likes of him?

I could have done it myself, put some into
his own porridge too, into the bargain.

It would not take any more strength
than to add another spoonful of sugar.

You are very cool about it, Grace.

Why would he say that about you,
if it was false?

Perhaps he wanted to shift the blame.

And I suppose he wanted me
to keep him company.

The road to death is a lonely highway,
and longer than it appears,

even when it leads straight down
from the scaffold by way of a rope.

And it's a dark road, with never any moon
shining on it to light your way.

You know a good deal about it,
for one that's never been there.

I too was condemned to be hanged
and thought I would be.

When you go the same road,
you must take your bearings of it.

True enough.

Nor do I blame poor James McDermott.

Not for such a wish.

I would never blame a human creature
for feeling lonely.

Have you often felt lonely, Grace?

Yes.

In the asylum.

And in the penitentiary, when there are
punishments for things especially.

What sort of punishments?

Please! Please!

Help!

And in the asylum, the doctors and the
orderlies themselves often took liberties.

These things made me feel like
I was alone in the world.

Is it true that you were in a delicate
condition when you left the asylum?

That is what they told me, sir.

That must have been
very difficult for you.

-Could we change the subject please, sir?
-Of course.

Did you feel lonely at the Kinnear farm?

I remember one day in particular.
It was my birthday.

Happy birthday, Grace.

For your room.

-Thank you, Nancy.
-You may have the afternoon free.

Thank you. But I wouldn't know
what to do with myself.

I'll stay home
and finish polishing the silver.

Nonsense. You should go for a walk
in the country around.

You may borrow my hat.

Mr. Kinnear intends to be home
all afternoon.

She wants you out of the way.

Careful.
There are many vagabonds out on the roads.

A girl as flighty as you needs protection.

I'll be just fine, thank you.

There's something depressing
to the spirits about a birthday,

especially when alone.

I had no idea in my mind
of where I should go.

And it struck me at once
how very solitary I was.

I had no friends and if you looked
at things in the cold light of day,

I was indeed alone in the world,

with no prospects before me
except the drudgery I'd been doing.

And although I could find
a different situation,

it would be the same sort of work,
from dawn to dusk,

with always a mistress ordering me about.

I reflected that the very birds
were strangers to me,

for I did not even know their names.

And for some reason,
that seemed to me the saddest of all.

Oh, Jamie. You startled me.

Happy Birthday.

I saw you crying.
Why are you sad, Grace?

-I have no friends here.
-I'm your friend.

-Do you have a sweetheart, Grace?
-I do not.

I would like to be your sweetheart,
and when I'm older

and have saved money for it,
we will be married.

-Jamie, I'm a great deal older than you.
-A year and a bit.

Jamie, I don't know why,
but a girl of 15 or 16

is accounted a woman,
a boy of the same age is still a boy.

Thank you for your offer.
I'll consider it.

Here. I'll make you a daisy crown.

You are the May Queen.

I'll have to be the July Queen
as it is July.

-May I give you a kiss on the cheek?
-Yes, but only one.

Thank you, Jamie.

You've made my birthday a fine occasion
after all.

I should be going home.
My father will be wondering where I am.

Good afternoon, Grace.

Who was that man you were
with in the orchard?

-What were you doing with him?
-It was only young Jamie Walsh.

We were making daisy chains
because it is my birthday.

What's that wilted flower in your hair?
It looks very silly.

So, you were rolling about the grass
with the errand boy.

He should have his brains
knocked out for that.

I'd do it myself if he wasn't such a baby.

Such a fine cradle-robber you are.

I was doing no such thing.

I felt as though the afternoon
had not been mine at all,

and not a kind and private thing, but had
been spied upon by every one of them.

Exactly as if they'd all been
at the door of my bed chamber

and taking turns looking
through the keyhole.

How did that make you feel, Grace?

It made me feel very sad.

And also angry.

Jeremiah.

Well, Grace, I told you I would come.

-I'm glad to see you, Jeremiah!
-Aren't you going to invite me in?

Here's to your good health, Grace.

I wanted to celebrate the end of my life
as a peddler with you.

-Are you no longer a peddler?
-Not after today.

I am going to be a hypnotist.

There's a real appetite for it,
now more than ever.

Thank you for coming.

Are you happy here?

-The house is a beautiful one.
-But a quiet and removed situation.

It is quiet.

But Mr. Kinnear is a liberal gentleman.

With a gentleman's tastes.

They say in the neighborhood
he has a hankering for servant girls.

I pray you do not end up
like Mary Whitney.

It is a sad story what happened to Mary.

But for you, Grace,
a stitch in time saves nine.

You know that Nancy was the servant
of this household not so long ago

doing the rough and dirty work
that you do now.

I did not know that.

When a man gets a habit,
it is hard for him to break it.

Like a dog gone bad.

Once a sheep is killed and the dog
gets a taste for it, it must kill another.

Don't like this talk of killing.

Come away with me, Grace.
I do not like the feeling here.

Come away? What do you mean?

-You would be safer with me.
-Where would we go?

-We could go to the United States.
-What's it like there?

Well, in many ways it's the same as here.

There are rogues and scoundrels
everywhere.

They merely use a different sort
of language to excuse themselves.

There they pay great lip service
to democracy,

just as here they rant on about the right
order of society and loyalty to the queen.

And yet the poor are poor on every shore.

But when you cross that border,
it's like passing through air.

The trees are the same on either side
and we can go through those very trees

-and not pay customs duties.
-Wouldn't we be breaking the law?

Aren't laws made to be broken?
These laws were not made by me or mine,

they were made by the powers that be
so that they could profit.

-We would be harming no one.
-What would I do?

Travel with me.
You could be a medical clairvoyant.

I could help you into trances
and instruct you.

I know by your hand
you have a talent for it.

Yeah. You have the right look for it.

And you could earn twice as much in
one day than you do here in two months.

Of course, you would need a new name,
a French one perhaps, something foreign.

People on this side of the ocean
would have a hard time believing that a
girl

with a simple name like Grace
had mysterious powers.

-Wouldn't that be a deception and a cheat?
-No more than the theater.

If people wish to believe a thing, if they
long for it and depend on it to be true,

is it cheating to help them
to their own belief?

Or is it not rather a charity...

a human kindness?

A new name would pose no problem for me.

I have no attachment to my own
as it was my father's.

Shall we shake on it, then?

I won't conceal from you, sir,
that the idea was greatly tempting.

Jeremiah was a handsome man, and I was
to marry a man with a "J" to his name.

And I thought also of the money I might
have and the clothes I could buy with it,

and perhaps some good earrings as well.

But then I had remembered
what had happened to Mary Whitney.

Would we be married, then?

What would be the need?

Marriage never brought anything good,
as far as I see.

If two are of a mind to keep together,
then they will,

and if not, one will run off
and that's the long and short of it.

I had better stay here, then.

-In any case, I'm too young to be married.
-Please consider it, Grace.

I'm willing to help you and care for you.

And I tell you truly you are surrounded
by dangers here.

Who the devil might you be?
What is he doing in the kitchen, Grace?

-He's a peddler well known to me.
-Mr. Kinnear will be annoyed

that you have been wasting good beer and
cheese on a common rogue of a peddler.

Mr. Kinnear would not refuse an honest man
a cold drink on a hot day.

I should be leaving.

I will come back soon for your answer,
and I hope for your sake

as well as my own that it will be yes.

Thank you for coming, Jeremiah.

He has a low, foreign look about him.

I suppose he came sniffing about you
like a bitch in heat.

Kindly remove yourself
so I can get on with the supper.

Several days later
the doctor paid us a visit.

Doctors are like crows.

When you see two or three of them,

you know there's a death in the offing
and they're discussing it.

With the crows, they're deciding which
parts to tear open and make off with,

and so it is with the doctors.

I do not mean you, sir,
as you have no leather bag or knives.

Well, Grace.
And where is your mistress?

She's not at all well.
She is lying down upstairs.

But if there's anything to be brought,
I can do it myself.

-I should like coffee if it's no trouble.
-It's no trouble.

Though I have to build the fire again.

When it is ready, bring it in to me.
Thank you, Grace.

-Are you feeling all right?
-Yes.

What are you doing stirring up the fire?

Mr. Kinnear wants me to make coffee
and take it into him.

But I always take in his coffee.
Why did he ask you?

Because you yourself were not here.

I was sparing you the work
as you said you were feeling ill.

I'll take it in.

And, Grace, this afternoon
I would like you to scrub this floor.

It's very dirty
and I'm tired of living in a pigpen.

Clean it up.

Don't walk on my clean floor
with your mucky boots.

Don't you have anything better to do?
You're not paid to stand there and gawp--

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

-There's no harm done.
-What is it?

What are you doing here?

Scrubbing the floor, ma'am.
As you ordered me to.

You're talking back.
I am sick of your insolence.

-All I wanted was a second cup of coffee.
-I'll make it. Grace, you can go.

Where am I to go, ma'am,
with the floor only half done?

Anywhere out of here.
And for God's sake, pin up your hair.

You look like a common slut.

I will be in the library.

Close your mouth.
You'll catch flies.

Go get cleaned up.
I need you to help me with a new dress.

None of my old ones fit anymore.

All at once it came over me
what was the matter with her.

I'd seen it before. She was in trouble.

Stop staring at me.

I felt my heart going hard like a hammer.

It cannot be.

-Mr. Kinnear know she was pregnant?
-I could tell he did not know.

And I wondered what he would do
when he found out.

Boot her into a ditch. Marry her.
I had no idea.

What did you hope for?

I could not rest easy
with either of those futures.

I wished Nancy no harm,
but it would not be fair

for her to end up a respectable
married lady with a ring on her finger.

-It would not be right at all.
-Why? Why would that not be right, Grace?

Because Mary had done the same as her
and gone to her death.

Why should one be rewarded and
the other punished for the same sin?

When the weather is like that,
you can hear your own heart beat.

It is like hiding and waiting for someone
to come and find you,

and you don't know
who that person will be.

Why can't we have proper cooked food,

like the steak and peas
they're eating in there?

New peas do not grow on trees.

You ought to know who would have
first choice of them.

In any case I'm Mr. Kinnear's servant,
not yours.

If you were mine, you would not last long.
You are such a foul-tempered witch.

-The cure for you is the end of a belt.
-Ill words butter no parsnips.

Stop it.

Has the cat got your tongue?
Why are you so pensive tonight?

I am worried about the servants.

- Which of the servants?
- Both of them.

Well, of course, there are
three servants in the house, not two.

-You are a servant yourself.
-That's very kind of you to remind me.

Now I must go.

I have my duties in the kitchen
to attend to.

You must stay where you are.
It is your master's command.

I suppose that is what I am paid for.

Oh, shh.

Why are you worrying about the servants?
Is the work not getting done?

The work is getting done,
but in McDermott's case,

only because I stand over him with a whip.

He's insolent.
I've given him his notice.

I've never liked him. What about Grace?

Grace is quick and tidy about her work,
but lately she's become very quarrelsome.

I'm thinking of giving her
her notice as well.

There's something about her
that makes me quite uneasy.

I think she's not quite right.

Several times I've heard her
talking out loud to herself.

She's certainly a handsome girl.

She has a naturally refined air,
a pure Grecian profile.

If I put her in the right clothes
and told her to hold her head high

and keep her mouth shut,
I could pass her off as a lady any day.

I certainly hope you never
say such things to her.

It would give her ideas above her station.
It would be no favor to her.

You have never had
such agreeable opinions of me.

I have opinions of you,
you're absolutely filthy.

Now, you, you, you.

You... Come back here, you dirty girl.
You do as I say.

No.

Or I will have to catch you,
and when I do, I will have you.

The rain was loud and oppressive.

And I heard a whisper as close
as if it were inside my ear.

It cannot be.

Whisper.

That whisper.

That whisper...

And then...

Then I had a very strange dream.

I saw headless angels in bloody robes.

They were sitting in silent judgement
upon Mr. Kinnear's house,

and on all within it.

The sheets I'd hung the night before
had blown into the trees.

It was very unlike me to forget
a white laundry I'd worked so hard at.

The nightdresses and shirts did indeed
look like angels without heads.

It was as if our own clothing
was sitting in judgement upon us.

And I could not shake the feeling that
there was some doom on the house,

and that some within were fated to die.

If I was given the chance right then,
I would have run off with Jeremiah,

and better for me if I had.

But I did not know where he had gone.

I did know that I was walking around
outside in the night without knowing it.

And my heart sank at this.

I remember looking up at you
after I told this story, Dr. Jordan.

And I remember that it did
my heart good

to feel I could bring some pleasure
into a fellow being's life.

And I thought to myself,
I wonder what you will make of all that?

♪ Come all you fair ♪

♪ And tender girls ♪

♪ That flourish in your prime ♪

♪ Prime ♪

♪ Beware, beware ♪

♪ If you're good and fair ♪

♪ Let no man steal your time ♪

♪ Time ♪

♪ Let no man steal ♪

♪ Your time ♪