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1
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,666
Come on! Hurry up, pilgrims!
2
00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:37,333
The old Mayflower's ready to sail
any minute now for the great unknown.
3
00:01:37,416 --> 00:01:41,958
- All aboard that are coming aboard!
- I think this pilgrim's going to be sick.
4
00:01:42,041 --> 00:01:44,833
Don't be an ass, Sunshine.
We haven't started yet.
5
00:01:44,916 --> 00:01:46,750
Different from Sevenoaks, eh Ritzy?
6
00:01:46,833 --> 00:01:51,125
That's right, about ten degrees below zero
and 400 miles from civilization.
7
00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:53,916
Scotland's okay in the season
if one's here for grouse.
8
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,041
Well, we're here for the duration now,
grouses or no grouses.
9
00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:01,875
I beg your pardon, Skipper.
Are we all right now for Dunbain Castle?
10
00:02:01,958 --> 00:02:02,958
Aye.
11
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,333
MacThorne's the name.
Speaks the language like a native.
12
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,916
- There'll be foreigners, I think.
- One of your English schools evacuated.
13
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,916
They've been crossing for Dunbain.
14
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,041
So the old castle's having
a new lease of life?
15
00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:18,125
- Aye.
- Cast off.
16
00:02:18,708 --> 00:02:20,791
How are we? Go on, move up.
17
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:22,833
Hey! Hey!
18
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000
Hey!
19
00:02:24,708 --> 00:02:25,708
Skye?
20
00:02:27,791 --> 00:02:29,375
- Skye?
- Aye.
21
00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:35,208
Heard about Crittors? Been called up.
22
00:02:35,291 --> 00:02:38,750
Good Lord. There won't be a master
left at St Michael's under 85 soon.
23
00:02:38,833 --> 00:02:42,000
- Wonder who the new man is.
- Some awful old dug-out, I expect.
24
00:02:42,166 --> 00:02:44,750
You know, long white whiskers,
elastic sided boots
25
00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:47,166
and a face like
something the cat brought in.
26
00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:50,708
Problems with his bronchial tubes
so he wheezes.
27
00:02:50,791 --> 00:02:53,000
Enormous tufts of hair
growing from his ears.
28
00:02:53,583 --> 00:02:56,083
A walrus moustache
that gets dipped in the soup.
29
00:02:56,250 --> 00:02:58,166
False teeth that rattle like castanets.
30
00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:00,458
Matter of fact, he's not like that at all.
31
00:03:00,541 --> 00:03:03,500
His name's Mr. Lamb
and he's a jolly decent chap.
32
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,125
How do you know?
33
00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:08,250
Everyone knows about Mr. Lamb
in scholastic circles.
34
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:12,291
They say he's one of the greatest brains
that Cambridge ever produced.
35
00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:15,458
Oxford, my boy, not Cambridge.
I am Mr. Lamb.
36
00:03:15,625 --> 00:03:18,458
Oh, sir. This is a surprise!
37
00:03:19,041 --> 00:03:21,125
May I have the honor of shaking your hand?
38
00:03:21,208 --> 00:03:22,750
Oh, yes. Yes.
39
00:03:23,833 --> 00:03:24,958
Me too, sir.
40
00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:27,375
May I have your autograph, sir?
41
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:29,750
I'll put you with Roosevelt
and Bernard Shaw.
42
00:03:29,833 --> 00:03:33,625
And mine, sir. Boys, our new master
is going to give you his autograph.
43
00:03:52,875 --> 00:03:55,875
- Well, here we are, sir.
- I wonder if a car will fetch us.
44
00:03:55,958 --> 00:03:59,208
- A bus, I think they said.
- Oh no, sir. Not for you, sir, surely.
45
00:03:59,291 --> 00:04:01,291
Maybe not. Well, I'll see you at school.
46
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:02,916
- Goodbye, sir.
- Goodbye.
47
00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:14,333
Come on, get in!
48
00:04:15,291 --> 00:04:18,500
- Drive on, MacDuff.
- They said to expect one of the masters.
49
00:04:18,583 --> 00:04:20,208
Sadly, he just missed the ferry.
50
00:04:20,291 --> 00:04:22,583
Well, I'll wait until the ferry comes back.
51
00:04:22,666 --> 00:04:25,291
Oh. He called to say he'd rather walk.
52
00:04:39,416 --> 00:04:42,375
- Any… Any taxis about here?
- Not on the island.
53
00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:46,083
- Could anything take me to Dunbain Castle?
- Aye, the bus.
54
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:47,708
- Good.
- But it's gone.
55
00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:50,583
- I'm afraid you'll have to walk.
- Is it far?
56
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:54,208
About eight miles if you take
the short-cut along the quicksand.
57
00:04:54,291 --> 00:04:57,666
Quicksand? How far is the long-cut?
58
00:04:57,750 --> 00:05:02,875
- Thirteen miles.
- Thirteen… my lucky number. Thank you.
59
00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:36,250
- Hey!
- Hey!
60
00:05:37,958 --> 00:05:39,416
Who said that?
61
00:05:39,583 --> 00:05:40,791
Who said that?
62
00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:42,541
- Hello!
- Hello!
63
00:05:43,083 --> 00:05:44,875
- Oh, echo.
- Oh, echo.
64
00:05:46,958 --> 00:05:48,583
- Hey!
- Hey!
65
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:53,041
- Doesn't sound like my voice.
- Doesn't sound like your voice.
66
00:05:53,916 --> 00:05:55,166
- Hey!
- Hey!
67
00:05:55,916 --> 00:05:58,083
- Hello!
- What do you want?
68
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:01,750
Oh, there you are.
I'm Mr. Lamb, the new master.
69
00:06:03,958 --> 00:06:06,375
Come on. Stop messing about and let me in.
70
00:06:12,708 --> 00:06:14,708
Rousing a man from his beauty sleep.
71
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:19,083
- Oh, my poor feet.
- What about my poor feet?
72
00:06:19,166 --> 00:06:22,166
Fetching and carrying all day
for a lot of foreigners.
73
00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:25,500
- Foreigners?
- Aye. Southerners like yourself.
74
00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:27,291
Pack o' unruly bairns.
75
00:06:27,958 --> 00:06:32,458
Oh, yes. Did you notice a tall thin bairn?
76
00:06:32,541 --> 00:06:36,125
With tortoise shell spectacles
that came on the bus?
77
00:06:36,208 --> 00:06:39,750
Aye. He'd the impertinence to address me
as the cock o' the north.
78
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:43,250
Yes, well. Where's my bedroom?
79
00:06:43,416 --> 00:06:44,416
Follow me.
80
00:06:49,166 --> 00:06:51,125
Cheerful looking place, isn't it?
81
00:06:51,208 --> 00:06:54,041
It's been good enough for the MacKinnons
for 800 years.
82
00:06:54,125 --> 00:06:56,666
If you're dissatisfied,
you ken what you can do.
83
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,125
No offence.
84
00:06:58,166 --> 00:07:03,583
Foreigner sleeping in the Great Bedchamber
that's no been slept in since 1344.
85
00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:06,333
What's wrong with it? Does the roof leak?
86
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,750
Have you no heard
the legend o' Mad MacKinnon?
87
00:07:08,916 --> 00:07:14,916
Was in the year 1344.
MacKinnon of MacKinnon, fifth of the line.
88
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,416
Had wooed and won the daughter
of MacDougal of MacDougal.
89
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:21,750
Well, you must tell me this
tomorrow of tomorrow.
90
00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:23,500
Was the eve of the wedding day.
91
00:07:23,583 --> 00:07:27,708
A great storm was raging as
the bridal party set oot across the loch.
92
00:07:27,791 --> 00:07:29,541
They never reached the other side.
93
00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:31,625
I'm not surprised with that ferry.
94
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:33,583
The vessel foundered on the rocks.
95
00:07:33,666 --> 00:07:38,833
And the bride o' MacKinnon was drowned
cold and stark.
96
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:42,208
They laid her body in the Great Bedchamber.
97
00:07:42,291 --> 00:07:45,791
And, while the piper played the lament
outside the door,
98
00:07:45,958 --> 00:07:50,375
MacKinnon, mad wi' grief drank deep
a deadly poison.
99
00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:52,875
And from that day to this,
100
00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:56,333
when any person in the castle
is going to pass away,
101
00:07:56,416 --> 00:08:00,583
the phantom pipes are heard playing
the lament o' MacKinnon.
102
00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:03,416
A lot of rubbish, I think.
103
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:07,833
To find the room, turn richt at the top o'
the stair, left at the end of the passage.
104
00:08:07,916 --> 00:08:09,708
Richt beyond the window recess.
105
00:08:09,791 --> 00:08:13,333
- And it's the furthest door on the left.
- Thank you very much.
106
00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:23,833
Let me see, now.
107
00:08:24,791 --> 00:08:27,166
Take a richt turn at the top of the stairs,
108
00:08:27,916 --> 00:08:30,166
a left turn at the end of the passage,
109
00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:34,708
another richt richt turn
beyond the window recess.
110
00:08:34,791 --> 00:08:36,833
And it's the furthest door on the left.
111
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:38,708
Yes, that's right.
112
00:08:42,041 --> 00:08:43,791
Furthest doorway on my left.
113
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,583
Let's see. This'll be it.
114
00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:55,375
- Hey!
- Is that you boys again? Come here.
115
00:08:55,458 --> 00:08:57,541
- Let go of me at once.
- Oh no, you don't.
116
00:08:58,041 --> 00:08:59,083
How dare you, sir.
117
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:03,125
- Who are you? What are you doing?
- What are you doing yourself?
118
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:04,625
That's no business of yours.
119
00:09:05,333 --> 00:09:08,250
I heard some rats in here
and was about to deal with them.
120
00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:12,875
That's very kind, but, if there are rats
in my room, I'll deal with them myself.
121
00:09:12,958 --> 00:09:13,958
Your room?
122
00:09:14,416 --> 00:09:17,625
Certainly. Is this your stuff?
123
00:09:17,708 --> 00:09:22,583
I like that. I arrive late and someone
takes a fancy to my room and pinches it.
124
00:09:22,666 --> 00:09:24,708
I'll have a word with the headmaster.
125
00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:25,875
Really?
126
00:09:26,208 --> 00:09:27,583
And who may you be?
127
00:09:27,666 --> 00:09:32,083
Lamb. If you think I'm to be put upon by
other members of staff, you're mistaken.
128
00:09:32,541 --> 00:09:36,500
If Dr. Winter can't control his staff,
what hope is there for the boys?
129
00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:38,916
I'll have to speak to him about that.
130
00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:41,708
Now, if you don't mind leaving my bedroom,
Mr…?
131
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:43,750
- Winter.
- Oh, Winter.
132
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:46,375
Dr. Winter?
133
00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:49,833
Yes Mr. Lamb, the headmaster
who can't control his staff.
134
00:09:49,916 --> 00:09:52,416
And who pinches other people's rooms.
135
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:56,041
- If you'll excuse me, I'll go to bed.
- I think you'd better.
136
00:09:56,125 --> 00:10:00,625
The accommodation is limited. I trust
it won't be beneath you to share a room.
137
00:10:00,708 --> 00:10:05,791
Share? Certainly not.
I'll take it as an honor, sir.
138
00:10:05,875 --> 00:10:08,750
Not this room. The one across the way.
139
00:10:09,541 --> 00:10:11,500
Oh, I beg your pardon.
140
00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:14,958
Yes, well… Goodnight, sir.
141
00:10:15,041 --> 00:10:18,416
I hope you catch your rats.
See you in the morning.
142
00:10:30,708 --> 00:10:31,708
Come in.
143
00:10:34,666 --> 00:10:38,125
I believe I share this room with you.
144
00:10:39,416 --> 00:10:44,750
Oh, splendid. Pardon me, sorry.
My name's Tisdaile.
145
00:10:44,833 --> 00:10:46,291
Games and Backward Boys.
146
00:10:46,375 --> 00:10:49,416
My name's Lamb.
Games with very forward boys.
147
00:10:50,041 --> 00:10:53,125
- Good heavens! Eton?
- I haven't yet, no.
148
00:10:53,291 --> 00:10:55,791
No, no, I mean the tie.
149
00:10:55,958 --> 00:10:58,916
- Tie?
- Yes. You're a fellow Old Etonian.
150
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,208
Old Etonian, oh yes.
151
00:11:02,291 --> 00:11:06,416
- Splendid, what year?
- Wotcher.
152
00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:12,625
- No, what year were you there?
- Several years.
153
00:11:12,708 --> 00:11:16,291
How marvelous, in a place like this
running into an O.E.
154
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:18,375
- Running into a what?
- O.E.
155
00:11:18,458 --> 00:11:21,916
- O.E.?
- Yes, Old Etonian: O.E.
156
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:26,541
- Oh aye.
- We must have a chat about the old place.
157
00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:28,916
Yes we must, someday.
158
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,416
- Doesn't anyone go to bed here?
- I'm very sorry, you must be fagged out.
159
00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:36,541
- I'm absolutely D.T.
- D.T.?
160
00:11:36,625 --> 00:11:38,791
- Dog tired.
- Dog--
161
00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:41,500
Does Dr. Winter know you're here?
162
00:11:41,958 --> 00:11:44,375
Yes, we had a little chat.
I didn't stay long.
163
00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:45,791
He seems to be in trouble.
164
00:11:45,875 --> 00:11:48,416
- What sort of trouble?
- He has rats in his wainscot.
165
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,750
Oh, that's uncomfortable.
166
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:53,250
Lots of strange things happen here.
They say it's haunted.
167
00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:56,416
- But I don't believe that sort of piffle.
- Nor do I.
168
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,875
You know the Scottish gatekeeper?
169
00:11:58,958 --> 00:12:02,333
He told me some rubbish about
phantom pipes and drowned brides.
170
00:12:02,416 --> 00:12:05,000
- Really?
- Yes, I never heard such tommyrot.
171
00:12:05,083 --> 00:12:07,041
It's amazing what some people believe.
172
00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:10,666
I knew a chap who spent a night
with a headless nun.
173
00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:12,708
- What, no head?
- Yes, none.
174
00:12:12,791 --> 00:12:17,666
He was in bed and this nun walked
straight through the wall.
175
00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:21,416
Gets into bed and lies down beside him
as cool as a cucumber.
176
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,541
- What do you think he did?
- I don't know.
177
00:12:24,083 --> 00:12:25,666
Got up and ran for his life.
178
00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:29,250
- Oh, really?
- Yes. At least, that's what he said.
179
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:33,083
What? Have I shocked you?
180
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:37,166
Don't look now,
but I think we're being haunted.
181
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:39,208
Haunted? Don't be silly.
182
00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:49,500
Oh.
183
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:03,166
- The ghost bride of Mad MacKinnon.
- Ghost of my foot.
184
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:07,833
Why did you drag me out like I'm scared?
It's only a housemaid in the wrong bed.
185
00:13:08,291 --> 00:13:11,208
Go on, wake her up
and get her out of there.
186
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:15,833
- How will I tell if she's a housemaid?
- See if she's got an apron on.
187
00:13:18,791 --> 00:13:21,291
- Go on, wake her up.
- But I don't know her.
188
00:13:21,375 --> 00:13:23,041
- Introduce yourself.
- Oh yes.
189
00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:32,666
Good evening, my name's Tisdaile.
Housemaid, you're in the wrong bed.
190
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,250
She's sound asleep.
191
00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:41,708
Give her a shake! Go on.
192
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:44,708
- You come and help me.
- It doesn't need two of us.
193
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,666
Well, you're older than I am.
194
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:49,375
But I'm a stranger here.
She won't wake up for me.
195
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:56,541
Go on. Wake her up.
196
00:14:00,541 --> 00:14:04,708
- She's cold.
- You would be with nothing on. Try again.
197
00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:09,166
Oh! She's stone cold.
198
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,125
- And stiff.
- Stiff?
199
00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:16,458
Where's the door?
200
00:14:17,875 --> 00:14:20,541
Hey. That's a statue.
201
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:23,958
- Oh, is she?
- Of course. "Stone cold" was right.
202
00:14:24,416 --> 00:14:27,208
Fifth form, I suppose.
They haven't wasted much time.
203
00:14:27,791 --> 00:14:32,625
Here's where she comes from. I bet
young Thorne was responsible for this.
204
00:14:33,291 --> 00:14:37,541
Thorne? Is he a tall skinny boy
with glasses?
205
00:14:37,625 --> 00:14:40,041
- Yes, do you know him?
- I should say I do.
206
00:14:40,125 --> 00:14:42,416
- Let's put her back where she belongs.
- Right.
207
00:14:50,916 --> 00:14:53,166
All the class must've been in on this job.
208
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:56,125
- What will we do?
- We'll have to make the best of it.
209
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:58,666
- There's room for the three of us.
- Oh yes.
210
00:15:06,791 --> 00:15:07,791
Excuse me.
211
00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:12,375
Goodnight, old man. Floreat Etona!
212
00:15:12,458 --> 00:15:15,500
- Is that her name?
- No. Floreat Etona, Eton.
213
00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:20,500
Of course, Eton.
Goodnight, old boy. Same to you.
214
00:15:21,166 --> 00:15:22,166
Goodnight, miss.
215
00:15:23,458 --> 00:15:27,000
Oh, I say. She is cold, isn't she?
216
00:15:31,958 --> 00:15:33,125
- Walcott.
- Hitchcock.
217
00:15:33,208 --> 00:15:34,750
- Boland.
- Newall.
218
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,375
- Sommerville.
- Corder Major.
219
00:15:36,458 --> 00:15:37,958
- Corder Minor.
- Corder Minimus.
220
00:15:38,041 --> 00:15:38,958
Truscott.
221
00:15:39,041 --> 00:15:42,708
Welcome to St Michael's, my boy.
There's always been a Truscott here.
222
00:15:42,791 --> 00:15:43,791
Thank you, sir.
223
00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:44,833
Delighted.
224
00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,541
- Mr. Amberley, Music.
- How do you do?
225
00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:50,541
Mr. Stock, Modern Languages,
226
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:55,541
I hear you've emerged from retirement to
teach for victory, Mr. Lamb.
227
00:15:55,625 --> 00:15:57,291
Very patriotic of you, I'm sure.
228
00:15:57,375 --> 00:15:59,833
I don't know. One must do one's bit.
229
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:03,208
What better cause than
your Great British public schools?
230
00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:05,208
A wonderful institution, Mr. Lamb.
231
00:16:05,291 --> 00:16:06,291
Quite, yes.
232
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:09,166
Have you taught at many others
besides St. Michael's?
233
00:16:10,583 --> 00:16:12,916
Yes, dozens and dozens.
234
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,083
There was Meadowvale… and so on.
235
00:16:17,166 --> 00:16:20,875
- Meadowvale, marvelous school.
- Yes. I was there for years and years.
236
00:16:21,041 --> 00:16:22,916
It was the happiest time of my life.
237
00:16:23,458 --> 00:16:26,541
They used to say
it wouldn't be Meadowvale without Lamb.
238
00:16:26,625 --> 00:16:29,625
And Lamb wouldn't be Lamb
without mint sauce, eh Lamb?
239
00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:35,875
- Ah, Humphries. This is a pleasure.
- Mutual, I'm sure.
240
00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:41,125
- Long time since we met at Meadowvale.
- Of course, you were there during my time.
241
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:46,541
- Your time? Your term.
- Do you mean my first or last?
242
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:48,666
Your first and last.
243
00:16:49,541 --> 00:16:52,125
- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Good morning.
244
00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:53,750
I won't keep you long.
245
00:16:54,625 --> 00:16:58,666
Now we're safely evacuated
to this remote if romantic spot,
246
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,583
I want the curriculum to proceed
as normally as possible.
247
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:04,333
Mr. Amberley owing to the
topography of the castle,
248
00:17:04,416 --> 00:17:08,166
I've had to allocate the harvest room
to use for your piano lessons.
249
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:12,750
- Mr. Humphries, the stable.
- Dr. Winter, I protest.
250
00:17:12,916 --> 00:17:17,083
You forget that I'm Senior Assistant
and surely entitled to some consideration.
251
00:17:17,666 --> 00:17:21,500
Mr. Humphries, if you must complain,
I'd prefer you do so in private.
252
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:27,708
The rest of the classroom allocations are,
I'm happy to say, more normal.
253
00:17:27,791 --> 00:17:30,291
I posted a detailed list
on the notice board.
254
00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:33,250
All that remains for me to do is
to wish the staff
255
00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:36,583
a pleasant and successful term
in our new surroundings.
256
00:17:36,666 --> 00:17:38,291
- Same to you, sir.
- Thank you.
257
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,708
Thank you.
258
00:17:40,208 --> 00:17:44,000
Mr. Lamb, as you're new to the school,
I'd like a word with you.
259
00:17:44,083 --> 00:17:45,458
Certainly, sir.
260
00:17:46,041 --> 00:17:48,375
I've been going through your testimonials
again.
261
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,458
Oh dear.
262
00:17:50,541 --> 00:17:54,416
And I've come to the conclusion that
you should take over the science classes.
263
00:17:54,583 --> 00:17:56,750
- If you don't mind, Mr. Lamb?
- Science?
264
00:17:56,833 --> 00:17:59,791
That's very kind, but do you think I'm
good enough for that?
265
00:17:59,875 --> 00:18:01,625
I mean… yes.
266
00:18:02,208 --> 00:18:05,250
You see, I have no other staff
with your qualifications.
267
00:18:06,458 --> 00:18:08,083
I bet you don't.
268
00:18:08,166 --> 00:18:10,333
I thought, as it was my first term here,
269
00:18:10,416 --> 00:18:13,666
that if I started with, say,
arithmetic and then I work my way up.
270
00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:15,750
Mathematics is Mr. Lambert's department.
271
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:18,916
Oh. I say, have you got anyone teaching
spelling?
272
00:18:19,416 --> 00:18:22,791
- Mr. Redfern is taking English literature.
- Oh, what a pity.
273
00:18:23,416 --> 00:18:27,916
I feel it'd be a waste of your talents
if you weren't science master, Mr. Lamb.
274
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:31,000
Now I'll take you along
and introduce you to the boys.
275
00:18:31,083 --> 00:18:32,083
Thank you very much.
276
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:36,833
I'm afraid you'll find
some of the boys a bit high-spirited,
277
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,416
but you'll learn how to deal with that.
278
00:18:39,958 --> 00:18:43,208
Your first class will be the Upper Fifth.
This way, Mr. Lamb.
279
00:18:50,416 --> 00:18:52,833
- Morning, boys.
- Morning, sir.
280
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:55,708
Alright, sit down.
281
00:18:56,750 --> 00:18:59,208
This is the our science master, Mr. Lamb.
282
00:18:59,291 --> 00:19:03,416
Under his tuition, I shall look for
some extraordinary results this term.
283
00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:07,666
I won't keep you, Mr. Lamb.
I expect you're keen to get started.
284
00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:08,958
Thank you, sir.
285
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,958
Well. Good morning, boys.
286
00:19:15,125 --> 00:19:16,416
Watch-yer.
287
00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:21,625
- What did you say?
- Watch-yer.
288
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:24,333
Were you at Eton too? Funny.
289
00:19:24,916 --> 00:19:27,458
I've a few things to say to you
before we start.
290
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:31,500
I'd like to thank some of you
for the very nice walk I had last night.
291
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:37,458
- I think you're one of them, aren't you?
- What, me?
292
00:19:37,541 --> 00:19:41,750
- Me? What's wrong with your grammar?
- She was fine the last time I saw her.
293
00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:43,541
- Who?
- My grandma.
294
00:19:43,625 --> 00:19:46,791
I didn't say your grandma, I said grammar!
295
00:19:46,875 --> 00:19:49,333
I am, thou art, he is, we ain't.
296
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:56,125
I, first person singular.
It's only "me" when it's in the…
297
00:19:56,208 --> 00:19:57,958
- Predicament.
- Predicament, yes.
298
00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:03,291
I think you were in on it too, weren't you?
299
00:20:03,375 --> 00:20:05,250
What I, sir?
300
00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:06,625
For two pins I'd knock--
301
00:20:06,708 --> 00:20:09,250
- Don't touch him.
- I wasn't going to touch him.
302
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:13,250
I was only going to show him what I'd do
if he did it again.
303
00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:23,791
Before I start, you'd better let me know
exactly how much science you know.
304
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:26,708
You tell us how much science you know.
305
00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:30,708
It's not a question of how much I know,
it's how much you know.
306
00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:33,583
Why? Are you teaching us or
are we teaching you?
307
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,000
I'll lay even money we have to teach him.
308
00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:38,000
- You'll lay what?
- Even money.
309
00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:38,958
Even money?
310
00:20:39,041 --> 00:20:41,000
- Well, what do you expect?
- Five to one.
311
00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:44,916
I expect some discipline in this class.
312
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,250
That's what I expect.
313
00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:51,833
Thorne, if you're so smart, you can
enlighten me on your scientific knowledge.
314
00:20:51,916 --> 00:20:52,916
Or lack of it.
315
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:57,375
Last term, we got up to general analysis
of radioactive elements,
316
00:20:57,541 --> 00:21:00,541
internal pressures and temperatures
of spectral type K stars,
317
00:21:00,708 --> 00:21:03,875
the determination of parallax by
trigonometrical calculus,
318
00:21:04,041 --> 00:21:07,833
the diffusion of inert gases under
the molecular disturbance of latent heat.
319
00:21:09,291 --> 00:21:14,708
Oh, is that all?
You haven't learned much. Have you?
320
00:21:14,791 --> 00:21:19,583
In that case, we'll start with the law of
gravity as determined by Sir Isaac Pitman.
321
00:21:20,708 --> 00:21:23,541
That's shorthand.
The Isaac you want is Newton.
322
00:21:24,916 --> 00:21:28,666
I know, I was only trying to catch you.
Sir Isaac Newton.
323
00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:30,791
Now, the law of gravity--
324
00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:34,208
Just a minute, old boy. We had
the law of gravity in our first year.
325
00:21:35,125 --> 00:21:36,000
So what?
326
00:21:36,083 --> 00:21:38,625
So why take it again
when we know all about it?
327
00:21:39,083 --> 00:21:41,125
You may know all about it, but I don't--
328
00:21:41,208 --> 00:21:44,875
- I mean, how do I know you know it?
- Because I say so.
329
00:21:44,958 --> 00:21:48,791
- Am I to just take your word?
- Yes, unless you want to start something.
330
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:51,833
I'm trying to start
if you'd give me a chance.
331
00:21:51,916 --> 00:21:55,750
We'll take the law of gravity, whether
it's your first, second or last year.
332
00:21:55,833 --> 00:21:57,500
Whether you know about it or not.
333
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:09,375
Well, the law of gravity was invented by
Sir Isaac Newton.
334
00:22:09,541 --> 00:22:11,958
He didn't invent it. He discovered it.
335
00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:15,166
Well, that's the same thing.
What's wrong with you?
336
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:19,125
No, old boy. You see, you can
discover gold, but you don't invent it.
337
00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:21,541
Come back. That's beside the point.
338
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:25,083
Sir Isaac Newton invent-- discovered
gravity through an apple.
339
00:22:25,583 --> 00:22:27,333
- What at?
- Huh?
340
00:22:27,416 --> 00:22:28,416
What at?
341
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:30,791
- What at?
- Yes, what at?
342
00:22:31,875 --> 00:22:35,666
He discovered gravity through an apple,
what at? What are you talking about?
343
00:22:35,750 --> 00:22:37,833
You said he threw an apple. Well, what at?
344
00:22:37,916 --> 00:22:39,166
- Who said that?
- You did!
345
00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:41,000
- I did not.
- Didn't he, boys?
346
00:22:41,083 --> 00:22:44,458
- Yes!
- I didn't say he threw an apple.
347
00:22:44,541 --> 00:22:48,625
I said Sir Isaac Newton discovered the law
of gravity through an apple.
348
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:52,250
I didn't mean he threw the apple.
349
00:22:52,416 --> 00:22:55,583
I meant that he could see through it.
350
00:23:02,375 --> 00:23:05,208
Now, Newton was…
351
00:23:08,041 --> 00:23:11,166
Newton was watching his little boy play
with a bow and arrow.
352
00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:14,083
He took the bow and arrow from the boy,
353
00:23:14,166 --> 00:23:17,958
placed an apple on the boy's head
and shot it with the arrow.
354
00:23:18,041 --> 00:23:20,416
The arrow fell in two
and dropped on the ground.
355
00:23:20,916 --> 00:23:24,333
And that is how Newton discovered
the law of gravity.
356
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,166
Any questions?
357
00:23:27,625 --> 00:23:28,625
Yes, can we go now?
358
00:23:29,166 --> 00:23:32,125
No, you can't. You'll go when I say so.
Any questions?
359
00:23:32,208 --> 00:23:34,500
Yes.
Haven't you got it a bit mixed, old boy?
360
00:23:34,583 --> 00:23:38,416
The generally-accepted legend is
Newton saw an apple fall from a tree.
361
00:23:38,583 --> 00:23:41,583
The one who shot an apple
off a boy's head was William Tell.
362
00:23:41,666 --> 00:23:43,375
Apart from that, you're not bad.
363
00:23:44,250 --> 00:23:46,291
Oh. Thank you very much.
364
00:23:46,791 --> 00:23:51,000
The law of gravity proves that
what goes up must come down.
365
00:23:51,083 --> 00:23:54,083
If we throw a ball up into the air,
it comes down again. Why?
366
00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:57,166
- Because what goes up must come down.
- Of course, yes.
367
00:23:57,250 --> 00:24:00,416
If Newton hadn't discovered gravity,
what would've happened?
368
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:03,125
We would've lost our ball.
369
00:24:03,208 --> 00:24:04,083
Not at all.
370
00:24:04,166 --> 00:24:08,000
The ball would've come down,
but no one would know why.
371
00:24:08,083 --> 00:24:10,583
There are some very peculiar things
about gravity.
372
00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:11,750
You're telling us.
373
00:24:12,208 --> 00:24:13,750
Yes, I'm telling you.
374
00:24:14,250 --> 00:24:18,666
Gravity acts to the center of the Earth.
That's why buildings must go straight up.
375
00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:21,958
- So they don't fall down.
- What about the leaning tower of Pisa?
376
00:24:22,458 --> 00:24:24,500
- The what?
- The leaning tower of Pisa.
377
00:24:25,541 --> 00:24:26,541
Leaning tower--
378
00:24:26,583 --> 00:24:30,416
There's a perfect example of a building
that is not at all perpendicular,
379
00:24:30,583 --> 00:24:31,791
yet remains standing.
380
00:24:33,250 --> 00:24:35,583
I haven't the faintest idea
what you're saying,
381
00:24:35,666 --> 00:24:39,000
but if you're saying a building
can lean and not fall, you're mad.
382
00:24:39,083 --> 00:24:41,166
It's simple. I can prove it. C'mon boys.
383
00:24:41,333 --> 00:24:45,541
Give me a hand with those chairs.
Everyone take one. By the gate.
384
00:24:49,375 --> 00:24:52,333
Now sir, if you'll allow me to put
these chairs on your desk.
385
00:24:54,541 --> 00:24:57,291
- Wait, what are you doing?
- I'm showing you what I mean.
386
00:24:57,375 --> 00:25:01,208
This is the foundation and here is
the base. Now we have the first story.
387
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:02,291
Like so.
388
00:25:02,875 --> 00:25:06,166
Now the second story.
I can't quite reach. Will you help me sir?
389
00:25:06,250 --> 00:25:08,541
- Help him up boys.
- Hey!
390
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:13,666
Put it on there, that's right.
Put him down, hurry up.
391
00:25:13,750 --> 00:25:16,750
- Now we have the third story.
- Wait, what's all this for?
392
00:25:16,833 --> 00:25:19,958
Well, I'm just going to prove
a tower can lean without falling
393
00:25:20,041 --> 00:25:22,416
if the center of gravity lies
within the base.
394
00:25:22,500 --> 00:25:23,666
Come on.
395
00:25:23,833 --> 00:25:25,458
Now we have the fifth story.
396
00:25:25,916 --> 00:25:28,791
- Come on, can't you get any higher?
- I'm up.
397
00:25:28,875 --> 00:25:30,250
Push it down.
398
00:25:30,916 --> 00:25:34,041
- Now push that one on top. Be careful.
- Yes, all right.
399
00:25:34,916 --> 00:25:36,375
Now we add the seventh story.
400
00:25:37,041 --> 00:25:38,458
Wait, how high are you going?
401
00:25:38,625 --> 00:25:40,500
The tower of Pisa has 30 stories.
402
00:25:40,666 --> 00:25:43,375
Thirty? Do you expect me to climb
through the ceiling?
403
00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:45,000
Oh, come on. One or two more.
404
00:25:45,583 --> 00:25:47,625
- Come on, hurry up!
- I'm doing my best!
405
00:25:48,791 --> 00:25:50,125
Right, that's enough.
406
00:25:50,291 --> 00:25:52,333
It'd better be enough. I'm getting dizzy.
407
00:25:52,416 --> 00:25:53,791
Now sit down on the top.
408
00:25:53,958 --> 00:25:55,791
Hey? Sit down…
409
00:25:59,375 --> 00:26:01,333
Look out!
410
00:26:02,458 --> 00:26:06,375
- Your base is getting out of control.
- Winnie the old pooh.
411
00:26:13,416 --> 00:26:16,041
- How's my center of gravity now?
- Mr. Lamb?
412
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:17,791
Oh!
413
00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,416
What goes up must come down.
414
00:26:27,416 --> 00:26:29,916
- Ouch.
- Is this the spot?
415
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,125
Yes.
416
00:26:31,208 --> 00:26:33,291
I expect you've bruised your vertebrae.
417
00:26:33,750 --> 00:26:38,333
- It feels like I've broken it.
- Don't know how from falling off a chair.
418
00:26:38,416 --> 00:26:42,208
Well, it was a rather high chair.
419
00:26:43,791 --> 00:26:46,375
- Oh, matron.
- Oh, hello, Dr. Winter.
420
00:26:47,083 --> 00:26:52,583
Dr. Winter, I sent James to Portree for
the rat poison. I'll see if he's back.
421
00:26:55,791 --> 00:26:57,291
That'll do, Mr. Lamb.
422
00:27:01,250 --> 00:27:06,166
- No irreparable damage, I trust.
- No. I practically escaped scot-free, sir.
423
00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:09,750
One cannot say the same, I fear,
about the classroom furniture.
424
00:27:09,833 --> 00:27:12,791
No doubt you'll wish to pay
for the replacement yourself.
425
00:27:14,083 --> 00:27:15,791
Yes, sir. No doubt.
426
00:27:17,250 --> 00:27:20,416
You've not had a very promising start
at St Michael's, Mr. Lamb.
427
00:27:20,875 --> 00:27:23,041
No. You just wait and see, sir.
428
00:27:23,125 --> 00:27:25,875
There won't be any more accidents.
I assure you of that.
429
00:27:25,958 --> 00:27:29,666
- I sincerely hope so.
- You best explain to the headmaster.
430
00:27:30,458 --> 00:27:32,000
I couldnae get it, that's all.
431
00:27:32,583 --> 00:27:36,875
- Surely they must keep some rat poison.
- No. There are no rats in Portree.
432
00:27:36,958 --> 00:27:38,208
Nor in Dunbain, either.
433
00:27:38,666 --> 00:27:40,625
Have you ever seen or heard a rat here?
434
00:27:40,708 --> 00:27:44,916
I'd be a poor housekeeper if I let rats
run about the place unheeded, Dr. Winter.
435
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,125
Maybe it was the sound o' the pipes
that disturbed you.
436
00:27:48,208 --> 00:27:53,041
- The sound was scratching, not gurgling.
- No, he means the phantom pipes.
437
00:27:53,125 --> 00:27:54,500
He always talks about them.
438
00:27:54,666 --> 00:27:59,666
'Twas in that very room in 1344
that Mad MacKinnon took his ain life.
439
00:27:59,750 --> 00:28:03,333
- That'll do, Jimmy.
- Ever since that nicht, the sound o' the--
440
00:28:03,416 --> 00:28:05,750
The fact is, Mrs. Wigmore,
that there are rats.
441
00:28:05,833 --> 00:28:09,333
I refuse to keep taking sleeping draughts
in order to get a good rest.
442
00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:11,958
You're a chemistry expert,
aren't you Mr. Lamb?
443
00:28:12,041 --> 00:28:13,500
Yes, I suppose so.
444
00:28:13,583 --> 00:28:16,416
Surely you could make some rat poison
in your laboratory.
445
00:28:16,916 --> 00:28:19,500
Well, I could
if I had the proper ingredients.
446
00:28:19,666 --> 00:28:21,458
It's mostly strychnine, isn't it?
447
00:28:21,541 --> 00:28:24,375
Is it? Yes, of course.
448
00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:26,666
Well, if it's not troubling you too much.
449
00:28:26,750 --> 00:28:29,333
To prepare poison for you, sir?
No trouble at all.
450
00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:32,125
It would be pleasure. I mean for the rats.
451
00:28:33,291 --> 00:28:35,000
I'll do it straight away, sir.
452
00:28:39,708 --> 00:28:41,625
This man Lamb.
453
00:28:42,083 --> 00:28:44,583
I knew him at Meadowvale.
He's an incompetent fool.
454
00:28:44,666 --> 00:28:46,333
What possessed you to engage him?
455
00:28:46,916 --> 00:28:49,750
That's my business, Mr. Humphries.
Kindly fix your tone.
456
00:28:49,833 --> 00:28:51,041
It's my business too.
457
00:28:51,125 --> 00:28:54,458
When I take your post, I don't want
to inherit halfwits for staff.
458
00:28:54,541 --> 00:28:55,875
Do you see this letter?
459
00:28:56,041 --> 00:29:00,916
It is a request to the board of governors
that you leave at the end of term.
460
00:29:01,083 --> 00:29:02,333
What?
461
00:29:03,541 --> 00:29:04,541
Come in.
462
00:29:05,958 --> 00:29:09,625
Don't blame me if your charming epistle
has some unexpected repercussions.
463
00:29:09,708 --> 00:29:13,833
Dr. Winter, I just came to tell you that
I put the rat poison in your room.
464
00:29:13,916 --> 00:29:17,291
- Thank you, Mr. Lamb.
- Where is the hole? I can bung it in.
465
00:29:17,375 --> 00:29:18,375
It's no trouble.
466
00:29:18,458 --> 00:29:23,083
Is there anything else I can do for you?
Any letters to post?
467
00:29:24,083 --> 00:29:26,416
- That would be kind of you.
- Yes.
468
00:29:31,416 --> 00:29:34,000
That was one in the bread basket for him,
wasn't it?
469
00:29:34,166 --> 00:29:35,375
I beg your pardon?
470
00:29:35,541 --> 00:29:38,458
Why wait to the end of term?
Why not sling him out now?
471
00:29:39,291 --> 00:29:42,333
Mr. Lamb, assistant masters
are not expected to eavesdrop.
472
00:29:43,333 --> 00:29:47,541
I must remember that.
I was forgetting I wasn't headmaster.
473
00:29:47,625 --> 00:29:49,083
Well, goodnight, sir.
474
00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:52,291
Goodnight and good hunting.
475
00:29:57,666 --> 00:30:01,041
- Cigarette, Mr. Lamb?
- Why, is something wrong with them?
476
00:30:01,750 --> 00:30:05,208
That letter. I'm going for a stroll.
I'll put it in the post for you.
477
00:30:05,291 --> 00:30:08,458
Thanks, but I'd prefer to do it myself.
478
00:30:08,541 --> 00:30:13,041
- Don't bother. You missed last collection.
- It'll be safer in the box. Sweet dreams.
479
00:30:31,375 --> 00:30:33,333
Huh… yes.
480
00:30:35,041 --> 00:30:39,125
Boys, here's to the opening night
of the Dunbain bottle party.
481
00:30:39,291 --> 00:30:40,541
Hooray!
482
00:30:40,708 --> 00:30:42,875
Okay boys, dive in.
483
00:30:55,666 --> 00:30:58,416
Hey, look. The door. Scram!
484
00:31:02,583 --> 00:31:04,375
Joe, the lights!
485
00:31:47,583 --> 00:31:50,625
All right, open the other one as well.
486
00:31:51,375 --> 00:31:53,583
- Come out of it!
- Oh, sir!
487
00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:57,958
- There's an odd smell in here.
- There wasn't before you came in, sir.
488
00:31:58,041 --> 00:32:00,375
- There is now.
- So there is, sir.
489
00:32:01,208 --> 00:32:02,500
Reminds me of lobster.
490
00:32:05,333 --> 00:32:06,750
Ah, it is lobster.
491
00:32:06,916 --> 00:32:10,750
- Goodness, I don't know how it got there.
- You'd better by tomorrow morning.
492
00:32:10,833 --> 00:32:13,833
Boys, don't lie with your eyes shut.
I know what's going on.
493
00:32:13,916 --> 00:32:18,250
- You've got nerve, lobster at this time.
- It's fresh. I caught it in the loch.
494
00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:19,833
Fresh? That's not the point.
495
00:32:20,875 --> 00:32:24,000
You know that feasting
in the dormitory is strictly forbidden.
496
00:32:24,083 --> 00:32:26,375
I take a very serious view on this matter.
497
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,958
- What have you got here?
- Nothing, sir.
498
00:32:31,041 --> 00:32:32,125
Oh, nothing?
499
00:32:34,333 --> 00:32:36,583
- Ah, whisky.
- Whisky, sir?
500
00:32:36,750 --> 00:32:39,916
- No, sir. It's lemonade.
- Lemonade, is it?
501
00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:41,750
Ah, fancy.
502
00:32:44,833 --> 00:32:48,750
Takes like whisky to me,
but if you say it's only lemonade.
503
00:32:51,291 --> 00:32:53,166
That doesn't make any difference.
504
00:32:53,250 --> 00:32:56,166
Eating lobsters and drinking whis…
lemonade on top of them,
505
00:32:56,250 --> 00:32:59,666
it's enough to give a grown man
nightmares, never mind boys like you.
506
00:32:59,750 --> 00:33:01,416
I shall report this.
507
00:33:01,583 --> 00:33:03,791
Sir, Halloween comes but once a year.
508
00:33:04,791 --> 00:33:06,291
- Who?
- Halloween.
509
00:33:06,375 --> 00:33:09,833
- What's she got to do with it?
- Halloween's an old Scottish custom.
510
00:33:09,916 --> 00:33:13,291
- Our first time here, we must observe it.
- Come on, be a sport, sir.
511
00:33:13,791 --> 00:33:17,208
- I don't know.
- Please, sir. Everyone does it.
512
00:33:17,291 --> 00:33:20,166
Do they?
Well, if it only comes once a year.
513
00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:23,541
Thanks, sir. C'mon boys, Mr. Lamb says
eat, drink and be merry.
514
00:33:27,208 --> 00:33:30,875
Welcome to the Dunbain bottle party.
The snappiest night spot in Skye.
515
00:33:30,958 --> 00:33:33,958
- Eats and drinks on the house, sir.
- Yes, sir. Have a drink.
516
00:33:34,041 --> 00:33:37,375
Wait. Don't you think we ought to have
someone keeping watch?
517
00:33:37,458 --> 00:33:40,000
- In case anybody came up.
- Good idea, sir.
518
00:33:40,083 --> 00:33:42,000
- Bentley, you go and keep cavee.
- Okay.
519
00:33:42,583 --> 00:33:44,458
That's better.
520
00:33:44,541 --> 00:33:48,208
You boys want to be more careful
where you throw your rubbish.
521
00:33:48,291 --> 00:33:51,875
That tin you threw hit me on the head.
Might have hit someone important.
522
00:33:51,958 --> 00:33:55,791
I mean someone who understands boys less
than I do. Plus it's very untidy.
523
00:33:55,875 --> 00:33:57,583
Put your rubbish in a paper bag.
524
00:33:57,750 --> 00:34:01,583
Thanks for the tip, sir.
Boys. put your rubbish in this paper bag.
525
00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:06,541
- Have another spot of whi… lemonade, sir.
- I think I will, yes.
526
00:34:10,250 --> 00:34:12,750
They grow good lemons in Scotland,
don't they?
527
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,416
♪ That's as far as I want to go
That's as far as I want to go ♪
528
00:34:32,500 --> 00:34:35,625
♪ I'll be pleased to dine with you
at the hotel Rooty-too ♪
529
00:34:35,708 --> 00:34:38,250
♪ But all I've got is
a threepenny bit and so ♪
530
00:34:38,333 --> 00:34:41,666
♪ If you don't mind having fish
and chips is as far as I want to go ♪
531
00:34:41,833 --> 00:34:44,291
Hey, it's Humphries.
532
00:35:03,208 --> 00:35:04,541
Hey!
533
00:35:05,833 --> 00:35:06,833
Lamb!
534
00:35:07,875 --> 00:35:11,083
Do you often crawl under boys' beds
in the middle of the night?
535
00:35:11,166 --> 00:35:14,083
- Actually, sir, I was looking for rats.
- Rats?
536
00:35:14,250 --> 00:35:15,416
Yes, rats.
537
00:35:15,583 --> 00:35:16,833
Why the lobster claw?
538
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:23,208
Oh. Well, you see, that's
the Scottish method for catching rats.
539
00:35:23,708 --> 00:35:27,208
You grip the rat by the neck with the claw
and you shake him to death.
540
00:35:27,833 --> 00:35:30,500
Your breath smells of whisky.
I think you're drunk.
541
00:35:30,583 --> 00:35:33,666
Drunk? Certainly not!
I've been drinking lemonade.
542
00:35:33,750 --> 00:35:37,750
- Smells like whisky to me.
- Tastes like whisky too but it's lemonade.
543
00:35:37,916 --> 00:35:41,125
I'm perfectly sober. Do any test you like.
544
00:35:41,208 --> 00:35:45,041
Swans swim under the bridge.
Swim, swum, swim.
545
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:50,250
Swans swim under the bl-bridge.
Swam, swim… swom. There you are.
546
00:35:50,333 --> 00:35:53,416
I wouldn't try if I were you.
It's too much in your condition.
547
00:35:53,500 --> 00:35:56,708
- I bet it's too much in your condition.
- I'm perfectly sober!
548
00:35:56,791 --> 00:35:59,583
- Then prove it, go on.
- I shall do nothing of the sort.
549
00:35:59,666 --> 00:36:02,458
- He's scared.
- Nothing of the kind!
550
00:36:02,541 --> 00:36:04,916
Swans swim under the bride.
Swim, swum, swam.
551
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:09,125
- Sam swum under the bridge.
- Ah! Sam swum under the bridge.
552
00:36:09,208 --> 00:36:11,083
- He couldn't say it.
- No, he couldn't.
553
00:36:11,166 --> 00:36:13,333
- Couldn't say it, could he, boys?
- No!
554
00:36:13,416 --> 00:36:16,500
Who swam… He's tight.
555
00:36:16,583 --> 00:36:19,083
Silence boys, this minute!
556
00:36:20,666 --> 00:36:22,750
Shh…
557
00:36:24,500 --> 00:36:25,500
Bagpipes.
558
00:36:27,791 --> 00:36:31,416
The lament o' the MacKinnon!
559
00:36:41,958 --> 00:36:44,875
Hark to… the phantom pipes.
560
00:36:45,625 --> 00:36:49,708
They played while the MacKinnon,
mad wi' grief, drank deep a deadly poison
561
00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:53,583
and fell back writhing in agony
beside the body o' his bride.
562
00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:05,666
The headmaster.
563
00:37:12,041 --> 00:37:13,833
- He's dead.
- Aye, deed.
564
00:37:13,916 --> 00:37:18,625
As Mad MacKinnon died in this very room,
600 years ago.
565
00:37:21,375 --> 00:37:23,375
This will greatly harm the school.
566
00:37:23,458 --> 00:37:27,333
Parents are difficult at the best
of times, but the suicide of a headmaster.
567
00:37:27,416 --> 00:37:31,333
I feared there was something wrong for
a while with the weird illusions he had
568
00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:33,458
and his sudden obsession with rats.
569
00:37:34,250 --> 00:37:35,625
There were no rats?
570
00:37:35,708 --> 00:37:39,250
James McCrae who's worked here
for 30 years says he's never seen one.
571
00:37:40,791 --> 00:37:44,416
By the way, you understand that
you take over the headmastership?
572
00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:48,291
- I am greatly honored, Sir Ambrose.
- We'll have a detailed talk next week.
573
00:37:48,375 --> 00:37:49,708
There are certain changes.
574
00:37:49,791 --> 00:37:53,083
That reminds me. That fellow Lamb is
a bitter disappointment.
575
00:37:53,166 --> 00:37:56,666
He's lazy, incompetent and
has no authority whatever over the boys.
576
00:37:56,750 --> 00:37:59,875
- Well, sack him, my fellow.
- I'm afraid that's the only option.
577
00:38:00,041 --> 00:38:02,458
I can't understand
why they don't hold an inquest.
578
00:38:02,958 --> 00:38:06,250
Inquests cost money.
They're awful mean in Scotland, you ken.
579
00:38:06,333 --> 00:38:10,916
- It's only done if they suspect foul play.
- Why shouldn't there have been foul play?
580
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:15,625
There's something jolly sinister about
old Lamb making the rat poison himself.
581
00:38:15,708 --> 00:38:18,708
Put a sock in it.
You read too many detective stories.
582
00:38:18,791 --> 00:38:20,791
Know the one I was reading on the way up?
583
00:38:20,875 --> 00:38:22,583
My Aunt Lies Bleeding
584
00:38:24,666 --> 00:38:28,083
The nephew murders the aunt
with strychnine too… Hey!
585
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,916
Hey, fellow clansmen.
586
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:35,666
The MacThorne of MacThorne brings
fateful tidings.
587
00:38:35,750 --> 00:38:39,041
Old baa-Lamb's a wolf in sheep's clothing.
He's a murderer.
588
00:38:39,125 --> 00:38:41,208
That'll teach you to call me baa-Lamb.
589
00:38:41,291 --> 00:38:43,208
You don't deny you're a murderer, sir?
590
00:38:43,291 --> 00:38:46,583
- If you mean I'd murder you yes… No.
- But seriously, sir.
591
00:38:46,666 --> 00:38:50,416
What was to stop you swapping the poison
for Dr. Winter's sleeping draught?
592
00:38:50,500 --> 00:38:52,208
- Well, nothing at all.
- Aha!
593
00:38:52,291 --> 00:38:54,708
If I'd wanted to… Here, wait a minute.
594
00:38:55,250 --> 00:38:56,750
That's an interesting theory.
595
00:38:56,833 --> 00:39:00,041
Yes, I could have put…
but what motive would I have?
596
00:39:00,208 --> 00:39:03,000
Well, do you know My Aunt Lies Bleeding?
597
00:39:03,166 --> 00:39:05,250
Does she? Am I responsible for that too?
598
00:39:05,833 --> 00:39:08,083
You don't have an aunt.
Get back to your seat.
599
00:39:13,375 --> 00:39:18,625
Now, this morning, we'll begin
with the barbiturate group of acids.
600
00:39:19,208 --> 00:39:21,166
Any questions?
601
00:39:21,333 --> 00:39:23,583
Listen, I say that. That's my privilege.
602
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:29,625
Now, the nature of an acid is
clearly shown by its action upon a metal.
603
00:39:30,208 --> 00:39:34,750
If sulfuric or nitric acid is allowed to
come into contact with zinc,
604
00:39:35,291 --> 00:39:38,625
we have seen that hydrogen is given off
605
00:39:38,791 --> 00:39:40,541
and the metal goes into solution--
606
00:39:40,625 --> 00:39:42,583
Do you think he really knows something?
607
00:39:43,208 --> 00:39:45,583
Now then, what are the properties of acids?
608
00:39:47,666 --> 00:39:49,791
Come on, what do acids usually do?
609
00:39:49,958 --> 00:39:51,166
Give us indigestion.
610
00:39:54,125 --> 00:39:56,750
Can't you keep your mind off food
for a moment?
611
00:39:57,666 --> 00:40:01,583
What have I just told you acids do?
Well, they generate a lot of gas.
612
00:40:01,750 --> 00:40:04,458
I think that's just what he meant, sir.
613
00:40:05,250 --> 00:40:07,666
I don't want any comic remarks from you.
614
00:40:07,750 --> 00:40:10,250
What are the properties of sulfur--
615
00:40:10,333 --> 00:40:11,333
What do you want?
616
00:40:11,416 --> 00:40:14,083
The new headmaster wishes to see you
in his study.
617
00:40:14,166 --> 00:40:16,583
- The new headmaster?
- Aye, Mr. Humphries.
618
00:40:16,666 --> 00:40:17,958
Humphries?
619
00:40:20,875 --> 00:40:23,416
In that case,
I'd better come then, hadn't I?
620
00:40:30,083 --> 00:40:33,750
- Advanced Chemistry by G.W. Smith.
- The old so and so.
621
00:40:33,916 --> 00:40:34,916
Come in.
622
00:40:42,166 --> 00:40:45,458
All right, you needn't bother to say it.
I resign.
623
00:40:45,541 --> 00:40:47,083
Right, pack your bag and go.
624
00:40:47,166 --> 00:40:50,583
Just as soon as
I get the check for my full-term salary.
625
00:40:50,666 --> 00:40:52,166
You forfeit that by resigning.
626
00:40:52,250 --> 00:40:53,916
Do I? I don't resign, then.
627
00:40:54,083 --> 00:40:56,708
- Sack me.
- I won't do such a thing.
628
00:40:56,791 --> 00:40:58,250
I'll go back to class.
629
00:40:58,416 --> 00:41:02,291
You won't go back to class or get
a full-term salary. You'll leave tomorrow.
630
00:41:02,375 --> 00:41:05,666
- You'll hear from my lawyer.
- Good, what's the name and address?
631
00:41:08,458 --> 00:41:10,208
It's in my other clothes.
632
00:41:11,333 --> 00:41:13,958
Thorne! How dare you do a thing like that?
633
00:41:14,041 --> 00:41:16,833
- Poor old baa-Lamb's just got the push!
- Has he really?
634
00:41:17,875 --> 00:41:21,708
Would you consider letting me stay on,
say, just for my board and keep?
635
00:41:21,791 --> 00:41:23,916
This is not an almshouse Lamb. Goodbye.
636
00:41:24,458 --> 00:41:26,083
Oh, goodbye.
637
00:41:26,583 --> 00:41:29,458
If any school wants a reference for you,
refer them to me.
638
00:41:29,541 --> 00:41:32,791
If any parents want a reference
for this school, refer them to me!
639
00:41:35,666 --> 00:41:37,750
Well, put that in your pipe and smoke it!
640
00:41:37,833 --> 00:41:40,875
- I say old boy, I'm terribly sorry.
- Sorry? What about?
641
00:41:40,958 --> 00:41:44,541
- Well, about you getting the sack.
- Sack? No, I've resigned.
642
00:41:44,625 --> 00:41:47,750
- Oh yeah?
- Oh yes! I don't need anybody to sack me!
643
00:41:48,208 --> 00:41:51,750
Yes, if only that letter had been posted
twenty-four hours earlier.
644
00:41:53,916 --> 00:41:56,916
- Good heavens! I didn't post it!
- Is it something important?
645
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,875
Important? I should say it is!
646
00:41:58,958 --> 00:42:01,166
It's a letter from Dr. Winter
to Sir Ambrose
647
00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:02,916
demanding Humphries' resignation.
648
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,458
How do you know what's in it?
649
00:42:04,541 --> 00:42:07,791
Well, you see,
I was going to see Dr. Winter.
650
00:42:07,875 --> 00:42:10,791
I was about to knock on the door
and I heard voices raised.
651
00:42:10,875 --> 00:42:12,750
So you stuck your ear up at the door.
652
00:42:12,833 --> 00:42:14,375
- Disgraceful!
- Yes.
653
00:42:14,458 --> 00:42:17,166
Well, I like that!
You've just been doing it to me!
654
00:42:17,250 --> 00:42:19,208
They were going at it hammer and tongs.
655
00:42:19,291 --> 00:42:21,541
One phrase Humphries used,
I remember he said:
656
00:42:21,625 --> 00:42:25,166
"Don't blame me if that charming epistle
has unpleasant repercussions".
657
00:42:25,250 --> 00:42:27,916
- Let's have a look at it.
- Open someone else's letter?
658
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,791
I think it would be justified
under the circumstances.
659
00:42:30,875 --> 00:42:33,000
Especially as we know what's in it.
660
00:42:33,083 --> 00:42:34,416
- Think so?
- Yes
661
00:42:34,500 --> 00:42:36,375
Well, come in here.
662
00:42:39,708 --> 00:42:41,166
There we are! There it is.
663
00:42:43,583 --> 00:42:45,166
Well, what on earth?
664
00:42:45,333 --> 00:42:49,625
"My head, noises in my head day and night,
is driving me mad.
665
00:42:49,791 --> 00:42:53,291
I must end it all, end it all. J.E. Winter"
666
00:42:54,166 --> 00:42:55,166
What on earth?
667
00:42:55,208 --> 00:42:58,666
- But it doesn't mention Humphries.
- Winter must've been going crackers!
668
00:42:58,750 --> 00:43:00,416
Nonsense! He was as sane as I am.
669
00:43:00,500 --> 00:43:02,500
Well, that isn't saying much.
670
00:43:02,583 --> 00:43:05,250
- Well, eh, as sane as I am.
- That's saying less.
671
00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:09,083
Listen! Inspector Thorne of the CID
has solved the Winter mystery.
672
00:43:09,250 --> 00:43:12,083
Humphries is about to get the sack.
He's desperate.
673
00:43:12,166 --> 00:43:14,583
He's got to get rid of
the letter and Winter.
674
00:43:14,666 --> 00:43:17,416
He pinches the letter from you
and substitutes this one.
675
00:43:17,583 --> 00:43:21,000
Then he substitutes the rat poison
and the sleeping draft.
676
00:43:21,166 --> 00:43:23,041
Verdict: suicide while of unsound mind.
677
00:43:23,208 --> 00:43:25,583
Yeah, but I say!
That makes Humphries a murderer!
678
00:43:25,666 --> 00:43:27,583
Sure! It's up to us to get him hanged!
679
00:43:27,750 --> 00:43:28,916
Oh, suits me.
680
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:33,375
Supposing Winter didn't write that letter,
it doesn't prove Humphries didn't either.
681
00:43:33,458 --> 00:43:34,333
Or does it?
682
00:43:34,416 --> 00:43:37,416
Yes it does, or does… Say that again?
683
00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:40,583
-Well, if Humphries--
-My Aunt Lies Bleeding!
684
00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:43,666
- I beg your pardon?
- Don't keep saying that silly remark!
685
00:43:43,750 --> 00:43:45,041
It's a detective story!
686
00:43:45,125 --> 00:43:46,750
The nephew murders the aunt.
687
00:43:46,833 --> 00:43:49,375
She discovered he forged her
signature on a check.
688
00:43:49,541 --> 00:43:51,375
And they proved the signature was his
689
00:43:51,541 --> 00:43:53,916
because of the chemicals in the ink, see?
690
00:43:54,083 --> 00:43:56,083
No, I'm awful sorry. I'm afraid I don't.
691
00:43:56,166 --> 00:43:59,125
But Humphries wasn't Winter's aunt,
was he? Or was he?
692
00:43:59,208 --> 00:44:01,500
Not as far as we know.
But why go into that?
693
00:44:01,583 --> 00:44:04,333
No two makes of ink have
the same chemical ingredients.
694
00:44:04,416 --> 00:44:07,083
So we just have to get
a sample of Humphries' writing,
695
00:44:07,166 --> 00:44:10,208
analyze the ink and see if
it matches the substitute letter.
696
00:44:10,291 --> 00:44:14,333
Wait a minute. We don't know if Humphries
and Winter use different inks, do we?
697
00:44:14,416 --> 00:44:16,625
Or do we?
You've got me talking that way now!
698
00:44:16,708 --> 00:44:19,250
We'll have to get a sample
of Winter's writing too.
699
00:44:19,333 --> 00:44:23,416
Now, we shan't be able to do the analysis
until after prep this evening.
700
00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:24,750
- Tis-bags!
- Who's that?
701
00:44:24,833 --> 00:44:27,583
- You!
- Hey, don't be so disrespectful! Tis-bags!
702
00:44:27,666 --> 00:44:29,166
Go get a sample from Winter.
703
00:44:29,250 --> 00:44:30,125
- Baa-Lamb!
- Yes?
704
00:44:30,208 --> 00:44:31,791
- That's you.
- I know, I know!
705
00:44:31,875 --> 00:44:33,208
Come on, back to the fold.
706
00:44:33,375 --> 00:44:35,500
-Look here, where shall I--
-Mr. Tisdaile!
707
00:44:35,583 --> 00:44:37,083
Humphries! Quick!
708
00:44:39,541 --> 00:44:41,541
Why aren't you giving your boys Physics?
709
00:44:41,625 --> 00:44:42,708
They look well to me.
710
00:44:42,791 --> 00:44:45,000
Oh, Physics!
By Jove, I'll give them Physics.
711
00:44:52,333 --> 00:44:56,083
There we are! Now all we want is
Humphries' sample and we're okay.
712
00:44:56,166 --> 00:44:59,291
What's keeping Tisdaile?
He ought to have got something by now.
713
00:44:59,375 --> 00:45:00,375
Oh, here you are!
714
00:45:00,416 --> 00:45:03,166
- Got a sample of Humphries' writing?
- I'll bring it in.
715
00:45:04,083 --> 00:45:06,041
Bring it in? What's he talking about?
716
00:45:06,541 --> 00:45:07,416
Here it is!
717
00:45:07,500 --> 00:45:10,875
Written in Humphries' handwriting
in front of a class of witnesses.
718
00:45:11,041 --> 00:45:13,916
Listen,
we don't want a sample of his writing.
719
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,083
- We want a sample of his ink.
- Oh, do you?
720
00:45:16,166 --> 00:45:18,416
- Yes!
- Oh well, this is his chalk, I think.
721
00:45:19,125 --> 00:45:21,541
- Yes, it is.
- What are we going to do now?
722
00:45:21,625 --> 00:45:22,500
I know!
723
00:45:22,583 --> 00:45:25,000
Humphries set us an essay
on that beastly thing.
724
00:45:25,083 --> 00:45:27,791
He wrote a lot of nasty things
at the bottom of mine.
725
00:45:30,583 --> 00:45:34,666
Just as I said! And it's in ink, too!
Now we can proceed with the test.
726
00:45:34,750 --> 00:45:37,791
Wait a minute. Considering there's
about 57 varieties of ink…
727
00:45:37,958 --> 00:45:41,416
There's red ink, blue ink, black
and blue ink, violet ink, marking ink…
728
00:45:41,500 --> 00:45:43,416
- Indian, post office.
- Invisible ink.
729
00:45:43,500 --> 00:45:45,083
Invisible ink. How can we tell--
730
00:45:45,166 --> 00:45:47,791
Invisible ink?
If it's invisible, how can we test it?
731
00:45:47,875 --> 00:45:49,708
- We can't, can we?
- Course we can't.
732
00:45:49,875 --> 00:45:53,583
As far as we're concerned, there are
only two inks: Humphries' and Winter's.
733
00:45:53,666 --> 00:45:57,250
Which test are we going to make first?
Density and penetration or fumes?
734
00:45:57,333 --> 00:46:00,500
D-Density and penit… ahem.
735
00:46:00,583 --> 00:46:03,666
Well, do the fumes test first. Cary on.
736
00:46:03,833 --> 00:46:05,041
Well, what do I do?
737
00:46:05,541 --> 00:46:08,583
Well, hasn't he explained it?
Well go on, tell him, tell him.
738
00:46:08,666 --> 00:46:12,541
You put each sample over the fumes
one by one and compare their reactions.
739
00:46:12,625 --> 00:46:14,125
Eh, yes, that's right. Yes.
740
00:46:14,208 --> 00:46:16,583
- We'll want some fumes.
- Oh rather! I love them.
741
00:46:16,666 --> 00:46:17,666
- What?
- Prunes.
742
00:46:18,083 --> 00:46:19,625
Prunes? I said fumes!
743
00:46:20,125 --> 00:46:21,958
Fumes, now let me see. Where…?
744
00:46:22,541 --> 00:46:23,541
Ah.
745
00:46:24,583 --> 00:46:26,166
I'll bet this is full of fumes!
746
00:46:28,791 --> 00:46:29,791
Ooh, lovely!
747
00:46:29,833 --> 00:46:32,166
No, no, no! We can't use that!
748
00:46:32,250 --> 00:46:34,333
- Why not?
- Well, that's what dentists use.
749
00:46:34,416 --> 00:46:35,666
- Oh, what for?
- Teeth!
750
00:46:35,750 --> 00:46:38,250
- What, for cleaning them?
- No! For taking them out.
751
00:46:38,333 --> 00:46:39,541
How? They blow 'em out?
752
00:46:39,625 --> 00:46:42,250
That's laughing gas.
What we want is ammonia!
753
00:46:42,333 --> 00:46:44,958
Ammonia? Ammonia? 'monia?
Oh, here we are! Ammonia!
754
00:46:45,041 --> 00:46:47,875
I say, it's very strong, isn't it?
755
00:46:47,958 --> 00:46:49,708
We ought to get a lot of reactions!
756
00:47:20,958 --> 00:47:24,541
If you two are finished playing games,
we'll get on with the fumes test!
757
00:47:24,625 --> 00:47:27,833
Hey, I think it's dangerous
leaving all these things lying about!
758
00:47:27,916 --> 00:47:30,666
- We'll start with Dr. Winter's sample.
- All right.
759
00:47:30,750 --> 00:47:32,375
- Well, what do I do?
- Nothing
760
00:47:32,458 --> 00:47:34,791
- Well, what do I do?
- Nothing!
761
00:47:34,875 --> 00:47:37,625
- Well, what's happening?
- Nothing.
762
00:47:37,708 --> 00:47:41,875
Yeah, well I think it's a waste of time!
You and your… your fumes test.
763
00:47:41,958 --> 00:47:44,625
Some things aren't affected by them.
Try the letter.
764
00:47:44,708 --> 00:47:46,958
Well, I still think it's a waste of time.
765
00:47:47,041 --> 00:47:51,416
Oh I say, I say, look! You see!
It's going a sort of reddish brown.
766
00:47:51,500 --> 00:47:54,541
Is it? Let's have a look at it!
Oh, so it is!
767
00:47:54,625 --> 00:47:57,625
- Then there's iron in the ink.
- Maybe he left his nib in it.
768
00:47:57,708 --> 00:48:00,458
If Humphries' sample goes the same color,
we've got him!
769
00:48:00,541 --> 00:48:01,708
Good! Go on, try it!
770
00:48:03,250 --> 00:48:05,958
Why, I do believe…!
Yes, it's the same color!
771
00:48:06,041 --> 00:48:07,583
- By Jove, we've done it!
- What?
772
00:48:07,666 --> 00:48:09,750
I'm blowed if I don't think we have too!
773
00:48:09,833 --> 00:48:12,333
- Will we third-degree him?
- No, inform the police.
774
00:48:12,416 --> 00:48:14,750
Looks to me
Mr. Humphries is right on the spot.
775
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,458
Yes, he's right on the spot all the time!
776
00:48:19,541 --> 00:48:22,333
I've always said he's ideal
for the headmaster's job!
777
00:48:22,500 --> 00:48:25,291
- What?
- Yes. Oh, hello, Mr. Humphries!
778
00:48:25,958 --> 00:48:27,125
What's going on here?
779
00:48:27,875 --> 00:48:30,125
Thorne, do you realize preparation's begun?
780
00:48:30,208 --> 00:48:32,833
Yes, he does, sir.
I came to infume him… inform him.
781
00:48:32,916 --> 00:48:35,208
Why are you still on the premises?
782
00:48:35,291 --> 00:48:38,291
Well, I couldn't leave.
The ferry wasn't working.
783
00:48:38,375 --> 00:48:40,250
The water was too rough or something.
784
00:48:40,333 --> 00:48:43,708
In that case, how did Sir Ambrose
manage to cross only this morning?
785
00:48:50,541 --> 00:48:52,833
Well, I suppose he swum it!
786
00:48:52,916 --> 00:48:54,458
No need to be facetious.
787
00:48:54,541 --> 00:48:57,583
Whether you reach the mainland or not
is of no interest to me.
788
00:48:57,666 --> 00:49:00,166
You go to your room now
and leave in the morning.
789
00:49:00,250 --> 00:49:02,666
In the morning? Huh.
I may leave before then.
790
00:49:07,083 --> 00:49:10,208
Baa-Lamb!
You and Tis-bags go to the police, now!
791
00:49:10,291 --> 00:49:11,291
Go on!
792
00:49:14,625 --> 00:49:17,208
You maintain that
your chemical test of the ink
793
00:49:17,291 --> 00:49:21,083
proves that the suicide letter,
presumably written by Dr. Winter,
794
00:49:21,166 --> 00:49:24,916
was in actual fact a forgery
on the part of Mr. Humphries?
795
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,000
I do. Yes.
796
00:49:26,541 --> 00:49:29,791
- You said your name was?
- This is Mr. Tisdaile. My name is Lamb.
797
00:49:29,875 --> 00:49:31,666
Hmm. I dinnae mind yer face.
798
00:49:32,541 --> 00:49:34,208
Well, I don't mind yours, either.
799
00:49:34,666 --> 00:49:37,958
Will you sign that statement, please?
800
00:49:38,041 --> 00:49:39,541
There you are.
801
00:49:41,625 --> 00:49:44,083
So you're the body
who prepared the rat poison
802
00:49:44,166 --> 00:49:46,083
with which Dr. Winter killed himself?
803
00:49:46,166 --> 00:49:48,125
We just said he didn't kill himself.
804
00:49:48,291 --> 00:49:50,500
- He was murdered.
- Aye?
805
00:49:50,666 --> 00:49:52,583
- Yes.
- Yes, absolutely! Undoubtedly!
806
00:49:52,666 --> 00:49:55,000
He'll tell you if you give him a chance.
- Yes.
807
00:49:55,083 --> 00:49:57,000
Not a pleasant thing to have to do,
808
00:49:57,083 --> 00:49:59,750
but the only course left was
to come to the police.
809
00:49:59,916 --> 00:50:01,500
You couldnae do better, man.
810
00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:06,125
Tell me now. Was it your conscience
that made you decide to confess?
811
00:50:06,916 --> 00:50:09,833
Confess? I'm not confessing, I'm accusing!
812
00:50:10,416 --> 00:50:12,708
It was no yourself
that committed the murder?
813
00:50:12,875 --> 00:50:15,375
Of course not!
We were just telling you who did.
814
00:50:15,458 --> 00:50:18,291
- Have you any proof?
- Proof? We've got foolproof proof.
815
00:50:18,375 --> 00:50:19,708
Absolutely foolproof!
816
00:50:19,791 --> 00:50:22,125
I've got the exhibits here.
Look for yourself.
817
00:50:22,208 --> 00:50:25,791
Notice the ink on Dr. Winter's notice
has remained absolutely unchanged.
818
00:50:25,875 --> 00:50:27,791
But the ink on the others is sort of--
819
00:50:27,875 --> 00:50:29,541
- A reddish brown.
- Reddish brown.
820
00:50:29,625 --> 00:50:32,458
That's due to the…
penetration of the pigment in the--
821
00:50:32,541 --> 00:50:34,625
- Eh, ink.
- In the ink, you see.
822
00:50:34,708 --> 00:50:38,791
Everybody knows Dr. Winter wrote that,
so Humphries must have written the other.
823
00:50:38,875 --> 00:50:42,750
If yon's your idea of a joke,
I'm thinking you'll regret it.
824
00:50:42,833 --> 00:50:43,833
Joke?
825
00:50:43,875 --> 00:50:45,833
There's nae writing at all on these!
826
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,708
What? No writing on them? What?
827
00:50:48,291 --> 00:50:51,375
- Well, what's happened?
- It must've rubbed off in your pocket.
828
00:50:51,458 --> 00:50:52,750
Rubbed off in me pocket!
829
00:50:52,833 --> 00:50:55,875
It's that clever Mr. Percy again!
Him and his fumes test!
830
00:50:55,958 --> 00:50:57,916
He's gone and fumed it off altogether!
831
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,958
Well, I'm positive
that Mr. Humphries forged that letter!
832
00:51:01,041 --> 00:51:04,958
If you don't believe me, come up to school
and I'll accuse him face to face.
833
00:51:05,041 --> 00:51:06,708
Excuse me.
834
00:51:08,291 --> 00:51:10,208
Aye, this is the police.
835
00:51:11,500 --> 00:51:12,500
Who?
836
00:51:13,583 --> 00:51:14,583
Oh, very well.
837
00:51:15,791 --> 00:51:17,416
I'll be coming up to Dunbain.
838
00:51:17,583 --> 00:51:18,791
Ah! Now you're talking!
839
00:51:18,875 --> 00:51:21,666
Aye.
But we'll no be talking to Mr. Humphries,
840
00:51:21,750 --> 00:51:24,833
for he's just been found dead
in the Great Bedchamber.
841
00:51:38,375 --> 00:51:41,125
- Will you be standing?
- Thank you.
842
00:51:41,208 --> 00:51:43,666
Call James Macleod.
843
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,708
Holding a judicial enquiry
in a barn! It's preposterous!
844
00:51:49,791 --> 00:51:52,041
It's the island's old
court of justice, sir.
845
00:51:52,125 --> 00:51:55,833
But there's so little crime, they released
it to Mr. McDowall for his cows.
846
00:51:55,916 --> 00:51:56,916
Ah!
847
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,166
- Along, get out!
- Turn those ducks out!
848
00:52:01,750 --> 00:52:03,750
Certainly, sir! Boys, the ducks!
849
00:52:09,666 --> 00:52:11,375
There you are! Your bird, I think!
850
00:52:11,541 --> 00:52:13,333
- You, sir!
- Yes?
851
00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:14,875
Are the boys in your charge?
852
00:52:15,458 --> 00:52:17,958
Well, there were.
But I'm not so sure about now.
853
00:52:18,125 --> 00:52:21,833
- Well, keep them in order!
- Yes, sir! Alright boys, you can sit down.
854
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,250
Call James Macleod!
855
00:52:24,333 --> 00:52:25,958
- Yes. James Macleod!
- Not you!
856
00:52:26,500 --> 00:52:28,083
- Oh.
- James Macleod!
857
00:52:28,250 --> 00:52:29,916
Don't let those ducks in again!
858
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,166
- Eh, no sir. No.
- Not you!
859
00:52:32,250 --> 00:52:34,875
Eh? Oh.
860
00:52:34,958 --> 00:52:37,291
- It was you found the body?
- Aye.
861
00:52:37,458 --> 00:52:41,458
When I entered the Great Bedchamber,
Mr. Humphries was lyin' stiff and stark.
862
00:52:41,625 --> 00:52:44,250
The sound o' the phantom pipes
wailin' in the castle.
863
00:52:44,416 --> 00:52:45,666
Phantom pipes?
864
00:52:46,833 --> 00:52:49,291
It's a famous legend here in the isle, sir.
865
00:52:49,375 --> 00:52:53,750
Whenever the phantom pipes are heard,
there's a death in Dunbain Castle.
866
00:52:53,833 --> 00:52:56,625
Ah! Superstitious nonsense!
867
00:52:56,791 --> 00:52:57,791
Now, Macleod.
868
00:52:58,625 --> 00:53:01,041
Had the deceased recently
quarreled with anyone?
869
00:53:01,208 --> 00:53:04,291
- Aye. In a manner of speaking he had.
- With whom?
870
00:53:04,375 --> 00:53:07,833
With Mr. Lamb, the Chemistry Master.
He gee'd him the sack!
871
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:12,250
Oh, did he?
Can you see this Mr. Lamb in court?
872
00:53:12,333 --> 00:53:14,333
Aye. I'm looking at him the now!
873
00:53:14,416 --> 00:53:17,208
Why are they looking at you like that?
874
00:53:17,291 --> 00:53:18,291
I don't know!
875
00:53:19,500 --> 00:53:21,250
You may stand down, Macleod.
876
00:53:22,625 --> 00:53:23,833
Call Sergeant Macfarlan.
877
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,166
Sergeant Macfarlan!
878
00:53:26,916 --> 00:53:29,041
Turn that cow out!
879
00:53:29,208 --> 00:53:31,125
- Sergeant Macfarlan?
- Aye, sir.
880
00:53:31,791 --> 00:53:34,041
Dr. Ritchie has told us in his evidence
881
00:53:34,125 --> 00:53:38,041
that the deceased died from asphyxiation
due to prussic acid gas.
882
00:53:38,208 --> 00:53:40,791
Do you know how the gas
could've reached its victim?
883
00:53:40,958 --> 00:53:44,500
Aye, sir. Up an auld flu from the room
beneath the bedroom.
884
00:53:44,583 --> 00:53:47,375
- It was used as a laboratory.
- Oh.
885
00:53:47,458 --> 00:53:50,500
Had any particular person
free access to that room?
886
00:53:50,583 --> 00:53:53,416
Aye, sir. Mr. Lamb, the Chemist Master.
887
00:53:55,208 --> 00:53:57,666
It's all right, old man.
I don't think you did it.
888
00:53:57,750 --> 00:53:59,166
Oh, thank you very much.
889
00:53:59,333 --> 00:54:00,625
That'll be all, sergeant.
890
00:54:09,958 --> 00:54:11,583
And turn those pigs out!
891
00:54:11,750 --> 00:54:13,958
Certainly, sir! Boys, the pigs!
892
00:54:20,541 --> 00:54:21,958
Ah, here we are!
893
00:54:24,375 --> 00:54:25,500
Call William Lamb!
894
00:54:25,666 --> 00:54:26,750
William Lamb!
895
00:54:34,125 --> 00:54:36,125
- William Lamb, hmm?
- Yes, sir.
896
00:54:36,208 --> 00:54:39,041
- Ha. So you are the Chemistry Master?
- Yes, sir.
897
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,583
I… Put that pig down at once, sir!
898
00:54:42,666 --> 00:54:44,375
Well, here you are.
899
00:54:44,458 --> 00:54:45,541
I don't want it!
900
00:54:45,625 --> 00:54:47,791
Oh right.
901
00:54:48,250 --> 00:54:52,000
- I don't want it!
- Oh, oh, alright, alright.
902
00:54:55,500 --> 00:55:00,333
Lamb, it was you supplied the poison taken
by Dr. Winter, the previous headmaster?
903
00:55:00,416 --> 00:55:02,375
Well, you're putting it a bit unfairly.
904
00:55:02,458 --> 00:55:05,041
I gave him the poison for the rats,
not for himself.
905
00:55:05,125 --> 00:55:07,208
I don't think he took it of his own hook!
906
00:55:07,291 --> 00:55:10,333
-My theory is--
-The court has no desire to hear it!
907
00:55:10,416 --> 00:55:14,750
We are here to enquire into the death
of Mr. Humphries, not Dr. Winter.
908
00:55:14,833 --> 00:55:17,958
I like that! It was him
that dragged Dr. Winter's name in!
909
00:55:18,041 --> 00:55:21,541
Kindly confine yourself to answering
the fiscal's questions, Mr. Lamb.
910
00:55:21,625 --> 00:55:23,458
Alright. Well, go ahead.
911
00:55:25,500 --> 00:55:27,625
And I don't like being stared at!
912
00:55:28,208 --> 00:55:30,541
Oh, sorry.
913
00:55:37,541 --> 00:55:39,500
Poor baa-Lamb. He's on the carpet again.
914
00:55:39,583 --> 00:55:41,583
Think he really did it? Good for him!
915
00:55:41,666 --> 00:55:43,375
You ass! He hasn't the brains!
916
00:55:43,541 --> 00:55:44,833
Now then.
917
00:55:45,291 --> 00:55:47,416
This chemistry laboratory of yours.
918
00:55:47,500 --> 00:55:50,375
Was a supply of prussic acid
customarily kept there?
919
00:55:51,125 --> 00:55:53,666
- I shouldn't be surprised.
- Mr. Lamb.
920
00:55:53,750 --> 00:55:55,041
As the Science Master,
921
00:55:55,125 --> 00:55:58,083
you ought to know the contents
of your own laboratory!
922
00:55:58,166 --> 00:56:03,875
Uhm, yes well,
I did start making a catalogue, but…
923
00:56:03,958 --> 00:56:06,125
I only got as far as the letter 'O'.
924
00:56:06,208 --> 00:56:08,541
Most of that stuff was in there
before I came.
925
00:56:08,625 --> 00:56:10,458
Oh, I see.
926
00:56:10,541 --> 00:56:13,291
Well, perhaps some of your pupils
are better informed.
927
00:56:13,375 --> 00:56:15,750
Can any of you boys give
a more definite answer?
928
00:56:15,916 --> 00:56:19,458
Yes, sir. I can. I saw a bottle
of prussic acid on Mr. Lamb's desk.
929
00:56:19,541 --> 00:56:22,125
He was trying to tell us
what you can do with acids.
930
00:56:22,291 --> 00:56:23,583
Trying to tell you?
931
00:56:23,750 --> 00:56:24,833
Right, sir!
932
00:56:24,916 --> 00:56:29,041
He didn't seem to know anything about it,
so he couldn't have gassed old Humphries!
933
00:56:29,125 --> 00:56:30,291
Oh, yes I could!
934
00:56:30,375 --> 00:56:32,500
I know all there is to know about acids!
935
00:56:35,125 --> 00:56:36,166
Put him out at once!
936
00:56:37,416 --> 00:56:40,000
Ah! Not the doctor, the goat!
937
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,916
So, you are quite an authority on acids,
Mr. Lamb?
938
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:50,041
Perhaps you would describe to the court
the process of making prussic acid gas.
939
00:56:50,541 --> 00:56:54,625
Well, yes… Let me see now. Oh, eh, yes.
940
00:56:55,083 --> 00:56:57,916
O, 5, H, 7…
941
00:57:02,291 --> 00:57:05,916
Yes, yes! Of course.
Yes, you take a bottle of prussic acid…
942
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:09,375
And… you…
you pour some of it into something.
943
00:57:09,458 --> 00:57:12,916
And… put it on the copper
until it comes to the boil.
944
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:16,208
And well, the steam it gives off
is prussic acid gas.
945
00:57:16,291 --> 00:57:18,166
Oh. Is that correct, Dr. Ritchie?
946
00:57:18,333 --> 00:57:19,416
Certainly not, sir!
947
00:57:19,500 --> 00:57:20,750
In no circumstances
948
00:57:20,833 --> 00:57:24,333
could the gas in question be generated
by heating hydrogen cyanide.
949
00:57:24,416 --> 00:57:25,333
Thank you, doctor.
950
00:57:25,416 --> 00:57:28,916
I'm not talking about hydrogen cyanide!
I'm talking about prussic acid.
951
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,541
They're alternative names
for the same thing!
952
00:57:31,625 --> 00:57:34,625
Yes! Of course. I was forgetting that.
953
00:57:34,708 --> 00:57:37,291
Well, my calculations are correct.
Look for yourself!
954
00:57:37,375 --> 00:57:39,833
Hey! Here! Here! Here!
955
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:41,541
I put it to you, Mr. Lamb,
956
00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:44,583
either you are grossly incompetent
to teach chemistry
957
00:57:44,666 --> 00:57:47,500
or you're making a puerile attempt
to avoid an accusation
958
00:57:47,583 --> 00:57:49,958
of having caused the death
of Mr. Humphries.
959
00:57:50,041 --> 00:57:51,291
Hey there, wait a minute!
960
00:57:51,375 --> 00:57:53,250
Are you trying to say I murdered him?
961
00:57:53,416 --> 00:57:55,041
I'm trying to arrive at the truth.
962
00:57:55,208 --> 00:57:58,583
If I'd tried kill him that way,
you don't think I'd be a fool enough
963
00:57:58,666 --> 00:58:00,916
to muck about publicly
with acid beforehand?
964
00:58:01,083 --> 00:58:05,125
Quite possibly. You might've reckoned on
everybody saying just what you just said.
965
00:58:05,291 --> 00:58:07,500
Well, if I'd been clever enough for that,
966
00:58:07,583 --> 00:58:10,666
I'd be clever enough to know
you would say what you just said!
967
00:58:10,750 --> 00:58:13,125
So it wouldn't be any use
my saying what I said.
968
00:58:13,291 --> 00:58:15,958
You couldn't know
I'd say what I just said, I'd say.
969
00:58:16,125 --> 00:58:19,291
If you're trying to say
I wouldn't have said what I said I'd say
970
00:58:19,375 --> 00:58:21,875
if you'd said what you said
you would have said,
971
00:58:21,958 --> 00:58:23,125
well, all I can say is…
972
00:58:23,208 --> 00:58:24,208
fiddlesticks!
973
00:58:25,500 --> 00:58:27,041
Silence in court!
974
00:58:27,208 --> 00:58:31,000
Mr. Lamb, unless you can produce
unimpeachable testimony
975
00:58:31,083 --> 00:58:33,000
about your character and past record,
976
00:58:33,083 --> 00:58:35,666
I shall ask the court to detain you
for questioning.
977
00:58:35,833 --> 00:58:37,583
I can vouch for him!
978
00:58:37,666 --> 00:58:41,541
Never have I met a more charming
and delightful person than Mr. Lamb.
979
00:58:41,708 --> 00:58:43,458
And his knowledge is exceptional.
980
00:58:43,541 --> 00:58:45,875
The things he's taught me are astounding!
981
00:58:45,958 --> 00:58:49,583
I'd no idea how little I knew
or that anybody could be so ignorant
982
00:58:49,666 --> 00:58:51,250
until I met Mr. Lamb.
983
00:58:51,333 --> 00:58:52,541
I can well believe that!
984
00:58:52,708 --> 00:58:56,208
He told me that,
while he was a student at Heidelberg,
985
00:58:56,291 --> 00:58:59,250
if it hadn't have been for
a chance remark to Einstein,
986
00:58:59,333 --> 00:59:01,250
there'd be no theory of relativity.
987
00:59:01,333 --> 00:59:03,541
He actually worked it out for him!
988
00:59:03,708 --> 00:59:06,750
Very interesting,
but it does not concern us.
989
00:59:06,833 --> 00:59:08,333
Oh. Well.
990
00:59:08,416 --> 00:59:10,333
Anyway, he's an old Etonian.
991
00:59:10,500 --> 00:59:13,208
Indeed? When were you at Eton, Mr. Lamb?
992
00:59:13,791 --> 00:59:18,916
Eh, well it would be
from, eh, 1898 to, eh, 1902.
993
00:59:20,083 --> 00:59:21,125
Strange.
994
00:59:21,208 --> 00:59:22,916
I was at Eton myself at that time,
995
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,333
but I've no recollection of
any boy named Lamb.
996
00:59:26,125 --> 00:59:29,708
Oh, well, maybe you're thinking of
the Eton near Windsor.
997
00:59:29,791 --> 00:59:33,291
See I… I mean the Eton in… Ohio, USA.
998
00:59:33,458 --> 00:59:36,458
We've got to get him out of this mess.
999
00:59:36,541 --> 00:59:39,166
Please, sir! May I support Mr. Tisdaile?
1000
00:59:39,250 --> 00:59:42,333
Everyone in Shropshire
likes and respects Mr. Lamb.
1001
00:59:42,500 --> 00:59:45,625
Why, he's the most popular master
the hunt has ever had!
1002
00:59:45,708 --> 00:59:49,500
Furthermore, he'll certainly be returned
for Parliament at the next election.
1003
00:59:54,666 --> 00:59:57,583
I must warn you, Mr. Tisdaile,
and you, boy,
1004
00:59:57,666 --> 01:00:01,583
that, if you have been lying, you will be
held guilty of contempt of court.
1005
01:00:02,833 --> 01:00:06,875
In the circumstances, Mr. Lamb,
I shan't remove your liberty of movement.
1006
01:00:06,958 --> 01:00:07,958
Oh, thank you.
1007
01:00:08,083 --> 01:00:09,083
But I must say that
1008
01:00:09,125 --> 01:00:12,291
I consider your conduct
throughout the whole of this matter
1009
01:00:12,375 --> 01:00:15,958
to be scarcely that of a person
of normal sane intelligence.
1010
01:00:16,041 --> 01:00:17,125
Oh.
1011
01:00:17,208 --> 01:00:19,416
There'll be a further police investigation,
1012
01:00:19,583 --> 01:00:23,666
during which I'll require you be available
for questioning at any time.
1013
01:00:23,833 --> 01:00:25,333
Oh yes, any time you like!
1014
01:00:25,416 --> 01:00:27,750
Well, so long. Goodbye.
1015
01:00:29,416 --> 01:00:32,166
How dare you! What are you doing here?
1016
01:00:32,333 --> 01:00:34,041
Time's up! Milking time!
1017
01:00:34,208 --> 01:00:36,958
I didn't know
there was an Eton in the United States.
1018
01:00:37,041 --> 01:00:40,708
Well, the Isle of White's not the only
place where there's cows, you know.
1019
01:00:48,416 --> 01:00:50,208
If that's another reporter, go away!
1020
01:00:50,291 --> 01:00:52,541
It isn't. It's me:
Percy Throne in the flesh!
1021
01:00:53,333 --> 01:00:54,333
Oh.
1022
01:00:59,708 --> 01:01:02,083
See, I'm… I'm just packing up.
1023
01:01:02,583 --> 01:01:05,583
I'm going down to my little place
in, eh… Shropshire.
1024
01:01:08,666 --> 01:01:10,666
Well, what do you want?
1025
01:01:10,750 --> 01:01:13,083
Us chaps at the Upper Fifth, we…
1026
01:01:13,166 --> 01:01:15,375
we'd like to make you
a little presentation.
1027
01:01:16,500 --> 01:01:19,125
We hadn't time to get you a cigarette case,
1028
01:01:19,208 --> 01:01:21,458
so we thought you wouldn't mind the…
1029
01:01:21,541 --> 01:01:22,541
the cash instead.
1030
01:01:22,625 --> 01:01:23,833
With our best wishes.
1031
01:01:24,666 --> 01:01:25,666
Oh?
1032
01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:29,500
Blimey, they're genuine!
1033
01:01:30,250 --> 01:01:34,250
But, well, I couldn't possibly take… I mean
1034
01:01:34,791 --> 01:01:38,291
I'm afraid it's only five quid.
We couldn't raise more at short notice.
1035
01:01:38,958 --> 01:01:42,166
Huh. Well, I don't know what to say.
1036
01:01:42,625 --> 01:01:45,000
It's very…
1037
01:01:46,500 --> 01:01:48,708
Well, come on.
I've got to get my bag packed.
1038
01:01:50,166 --> 01:01:53,125
You'll have difficulty getting
any staff to accept that post.
1039
01:01:53,208 --> 01:01:55,250
Well, I was quite frank with him.
1040
01:01:55,333 --> 01:01:56,458
"Sir Ambrose", I said.
1041
01:01:56,541 --> 01:02:00,000
"You may think me superstitious,
but two headmasters have gone."
1042
01:02:00,083 --> 01:02:01,125
"What if a third?"
1043
01:02:01,208 --> 01:02:03,791
He even offered it to me.
I'm not a British subject.
1044
01:02:03,875 --> 01:02:05,791
There's trouble with the parents.
1045
01:02:05,875 --> 01:02:08,625
- They do not like these deaths.
- Exactly! You wait.
1046
01:02:08,708 --> 01:02:12,083
If this sort of thing goes on,
we'll all be shunted back to England.
1047
01:02:13,041 --> 01:02:14,625
Going to see Ambrose, Tisdaile?
1048
01:02:14,708 --> 01:02:17,583
Yes. I don't know why,
unless it's about my backward boys.
1049
01:02:17,666 --> 01:02:20,166
They've been writing
most advanced things on walls.
1050
01:02:20,250 --> 01:02:23,250
I think you will find
it is something more serious than that.
1051
01:02:23,333 --> 01:02:24,333
Oh.
1052
01:02:31,541 --> 01:02:35,125
- You sent for me, sir?
- Ah yes, Tisdaile! Have a cigar.
1053
01:02:35,208 --> 01:02:36,208
Cigar?
1054
01:02:36,291 --> 01:02:38,500
- Sit down.
- S… Sit? Me sit?
1055
01:02:38,583 --> 01:02:41,958
My boy, I've been looking up your record.
1056
01:02:42,041 --> 01:02:44,916
It seems to me the way you handled
your backward boys
1057
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:47,041
has produced some remarkable results.
1058
01:02:47,125 --> 01:02:48,291
Oh really, sir? Really?
1059
01:02:48,375 --> 01:02:52,125
Therefore, I have decided to offer you
the headmastership of St. Michael's.
1060
01:02:52,291 --> 01:02:54,666
Who… me? I… I mean, I?
1061
01:02:54,750 --> 01:02:56,958
- Yes, you.
- I say!
1062
01:02:57,041 --> 01:03:00,291
- What about the senior masters?
- I want to give you this chance.
1063
01:03:00,375 --> 01:03:02,500
- Yes?
- This modern age belongs to youth!
1064
01:03:02,583 --> 01:03:04,583
Bold, enterprising youth!
1065
01:03:04,666 --> 01:03:06,875
Yes, sir. I shall certainly do my best!
1066
01:03:06,958 --> 01:03:10,375
- Good!
- Thank you very much, sir! Oh, marvelous!
1067
01:03:10,541 --> 01:03:14,125
Well, now I must be off.
Make yourself at home in your new sanctum.
1068
01:03:14,208 --> 01:03:15,208
Oh, thank you, sir.
1069
01:03:15,250 --> 01:03:17,000
- Goodbye!
- Goodbye, sir!
1070
01:03:19,666 --> 01:03:21,583
Masters and boys of St. Michael's.
1071
01:03:21,666 --> 01:03:23,916
Doubtless you've heard
of my new appointment.
1072
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:27,125
And I hope this appointment
will not be a disappointment.
1073
01:03:27,208 --> 01:03:28,958
I… No, that's no good.
1074
01:03:29,041 --> 01:03:31,166
Bold! Ferial! Enterprising!
1075
01:03:31,250 --> 01:03:32,666
Masters and boys!
1076
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:37,250
I give you three guesses as to what I am.
1077
01:03:37,333 --> 01:03:38,333
I…
1078
01:03:39,458 --> 01:03:41,625
Masters and boys of St. Michaels.
1079
01:03:41,708 --> 01:03:43,541
I am your new headmaster.
1080
01:03:43,625 --> 01:03:46,208
And, if you don't like it, you can lu--
1081
01:03:46,291 --> 01:03:47,333
Lamb!
1082
01:03:47,500 --> 01:03:48,916
- Goodbye, my lad.
- Goodbye.
1083
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,041
- Goodbye.
- Good luck!
1084
01:03:50,625 --> 01:03:51,625
Thank you.
1085
01:03:59,791 --> 01:04:01,250
Hey! That's not your ca--!
1086
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,125
Oh hello, Sir Ambrose. Are you coming too?
1087
01:04:08,208 --> 01:04:10,500
- Get out of my car!
- Oh, your car?
1088
01:04:10,583 --> 01:04:12,958
Can I give you a lift?
Or I mean… Will you…?
1089
01:04:13,041 --> 01:04:14,083
Get out!
1090
01:04:14,541 --> 01:04:16,625
Oh, alright. No need to lose your temper.
1091
01:04:22,791 --> 01:04:25,000
- Sorry, Sir Ambrose.
- Get in!
1092
01:04:29,791 --> 01:04:32,041
Oh well,
I suppose I'll have to walk it again.
1093
01:04:39,833 --> 01:04:43,041
Wait, wait! Wait a minute!
I've got a lovely surprise for you!
1094
01:04:43,125 --> 01:04:45,000
- Eh?
- You may not have to go.
1095
01:04:45,083 --> 01:04:47,041
- Why?
- Well, I'm the new headmaster.
1096
01:04:47,125 --> 01:04:48,166
What?
1097
01:04:48,250 --> 01:04:51,083
Sir Ambrose appointed me
over all the other Masters.
1098
01:04:51,250 --> 01:04:52,583
So you won't have to go.
1099
01:04:52,750 --> 01:04:55,500
Oh, well,
what about giving me back the five quid?
1100
01:04:55,583 --> 01:04:57,708
Hey, hey! You're in a bit of a hurry!
1101
01:04:57,791 --> 01:05:01,166
No, I'll keep it a day or two.
I say, appointing him headmaster?
1102
01:05:01,250 --> 01:05:03,916
Sir thingummy must be a bit barm…
1103
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:07,000
I bet you ten bob
the other Masters weren't passed over.
1104
01:05:07,083 --> 01:05:08,125
They turned it down!
1105
01:05:08,291 --> 01:05:10,125
Well, that's what I can't understand.
1106
01:05:10,208 --> 01:05:12,416
I'd have thought they'd leap at the chance.
1107
01:05:12,500 --> 01:05:15,333
What? With two Masters done in already?
Not likely!
1108
01:05:15,416 --> 01:05:16,791
Who'd want to be the third?
1109
01:05:16,875 --> 01:05:17,875
Yes who would?
1110
01:05:17,916 --> 01:05:19,125
Yes, rather!
1111
01:05:19,208 --> 01:05:22,833
What? Third? Good gracious, that's me!
1112
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,625
Yes, that's right.
Still, it may be third time lucky.
1113
01:05:25,708 --> 01:05:28,458
He can't do that to me!
I'm not so fool as I think I am.
1114
01:05:28,541 --> 01:05:30,875
He deliberately put me
in a position rather…
1115
01:05:30,958 --> 01:05:34,333
- Cheese in a mousetrap.
- Yes! I refuse to be a piece of cheese!
1116
01:05:34,416 --> 01:05:36,458
Hey, hey! Oi! Come back!
1117
01:05:36,625 --> 01:05:39,791
Now, now, listen.
We're out to catch this murderer or bust.
1118
01:05:39,875 --> 01:05:41,875
The only way to catch him is red-handed.
1119
01:05:41,958 --> 01:05:45,250
How can he be red-handed
if there's no headmaster to murder?
1120
01:05:45,333 --> 01:05:46,833
There you are! That's logical.
1121
01:05:46,916 --> 01:05:48,750
Yes, but I… won't do it.
1122
01:05:48,833 --> 01:05:50,958
Aren't you being a bit selfish, old boy?
1123
01:05:51,041 --> 01:05:53,958
You're taking away my only chance
to make a 100% come back.
1124
01:05:54,041 --> 01:05:56,750
Yes, but why should I make myself
a stalking horse?
1125
01:05:56,833 --> 01:05:59,083
Make up your mind
if you're a horse or cheese.
1126
01:05:59,250 --> 01:06:00,666
I'm surprised at you, sir.
1127
01:06:00,833 --> 01:06:03,083
- So am I.
- Yes, so am I.
1128
01:06:03,166 --> 01:06:06,958
But I… I will not have myself butchered
for a Roman, what's-his-name?
1129
01:06:07,041 --> 01:06:10,583
You can lead a lamb to slaughter,
but you can't make him drink.
1130
01:06:10,666 --> 01:06:12,833
It's you that's going to slaughter, not me.
1131
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:16,708
Mr. Tisdaile! Do you wish me to move
your things to the Great Bedchamber?
1132
01:06:16,791 --> 01:06:18,291
- Certainly not!
- Yes!
1133
01:06:18,375 --> 01:06:19,250
Very good.
1134
01:06:19,333 --> 01:06:21,750
Great Bedchamber?
That's where they were killed!
1135
01:06:21,916 --> 01:06:24,958
We don't want to make it
more difficult than necessary, do we?
1136
01:06:25,041 --> 01:06:27,250
No! I will not put myself in a mousetrap!
1137
01:06:27,416 --> 01:06:30,250
I won't, I won't, I won't!
1138
01:06:30,333 --> 01:06:33,041
I won't. I… I won't go to sleep, anyway.
1139
01:06:33,125 --> 01:06:35,791
You can't make me do that!
I'll sit up all night.
1140
01:06:36,500 --> 01:06:38,250
Well, let's hope you won't have to.
1141
01:06:38,333 --> 01:06:40,958
Very likely he'll make a stab at you
before long.
1142
01:06:41,041 --> 01:06:43,875
- Stab?
- Well, whichever way he wants to do it.
1143
01:06:43,958 --> 01:06:47,250
Let me see now, Humphries and Winter
got it in the neck about…
1144
01:06:47,333 --> 01:06:48,500
About eleven o'clock.
1145
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:51,916
- Well, what's the time now?
- Quarter to.
1146
01:06:52,416 --> 01:06:53,416
Oh!
1147
01:06:56,333 --> 01:06:57,916
These are the best I could get!
1148
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:01,666
I think they finished the armory
about the time of the Battle of Hastings.
1149
01:07:03,041 --> 01:07:06,416
- They're not very modern.
- I don't know what you're grumbling about.
1150
01:07:06,500 --> 01:07:08,875
The other two corpses hadn't
any weapons at all!
1151
01:07:08,958 --> 01:07:10,541
You'd better take your pick.
1152
01:07:10,625 --> 01:07:11,875
- Is that loaded?
- You bet!
1153
01:07:11,958 --> 01:07:14,333
- Found some power and shot!
- I'll have it.
1154
01:07:14,416 --> 01:07:18,375
No, you won't. You might let it off
and hurt yourself. I'd better take this.
1155
01:07:18,541 --> 01:07:20,666
All you've got to do is wait
to be murdered.
1156
01:07:20,750 --> 01:07:22,791
- Oh.
- We've got to catch the murderer.
1157
01:07:22,958 --> 01:07:24,958
Yes, of course. But suppose you miss him?
1158
01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:27,750
- We won't!
- Here, take these in case.
1159
01:07:27,833 --> 01:07:32,375
And, if you see him first, give us a shout
for help. We shan't be far away.
1160
01:07:32,458 --> 01:07:34,500
But how shall I know if I do see him?
1161
01:07:34,666 --> 01:07:36,416
I mean, in time to do any good?
1162
01:07:36,500 --> 01:07:40,416
- We don't know who he is. Who is he?
- Oh. We hadn't thought of that, had we?
1163
01:07:40,500 --> 01:07:43,333
If you ask me, it's Stock!
He says he's a Swiss!
1164
01:07:43,416 --> 01:07:44,791
Bet you he's a Nazi agent!
1165
01:07:45,375 --> 01:07:46,625
- What?
- Don't be silly.
1166
01:07:46,791 --> 01:07:50,083
What would they gain by bumping him off?
That wouldn't win the war!
1167
01:07:50,166 --> 01:07:52,375
-In a book I once read it said--
-Listen!
1168
01:07:52,458 --> 01:07:56,000
We've heard enough of your bleeding aunt!
We've got to find the motive.
1169
01:07:56,083 --> 01:07:57,541
That'll give us the murderer.
1170
01:07:57,625 --> 01:07:59,791
Suppose I want to kill three headmasters.
1171
01:07:59,875 --> 01:08:00,958
Oh, two, old boy.
1172
01:08:01,125 --> 01:08:02,708
No, I'm including you.
1173
01:08:02,791 --> 01:08:05,666
What motive would I have?
Well, none that I can think of.
1174
01:08:05,750 --> 01:08:07,750
Well, not for the first two, anyway.
1175
01:08:07,833 --> 01:08:09,791
On second thoughts, it might be Jamie!
1176
01:08:09,875 --> 01:08:11,791
He doesn't like the school being here.
1177
01:08:11,875 --> 01:08:16,041
Yes. Yes, that's right. He's crazy enough
to have us all bumped off, isn't he?
1178
01:08:16,208 --> 01:08:18,583
Starting with headmasters,
working his way down.
1179
01:08:18,666 --> 01:08:21,333
He knew about the rat poison too,
he could have--
1180
01:08:21,416 --> 01:08:23,083
Ssh! Listen!
1181
01:08:23,541 --> 01:08:26,000
- Somebody's coming.
- Who's there?
1182
01:08:26,083 --> 01:08:27,333
Come in!
1183
01:08:32,958 --> 01:08:34,416
Brought ye up a glass of milk.
1184
01:08:35,916 --> 01:08:38,791
That's very kind of you,
but I… I didn't order any milk.
1185
01:08:39,250 --> 01:08:41,708
I did the same
for the other two headmasters.
1186
01:08:42,416 --> 01:08:44,250
It'll help to put you to sleep.
1187
01:08:45,958 --> 01:08:48,166
Ah, yes. I'm sure it will.
1188
01:08:48,250 --> 01:08:50,416
- Thank you very much.
- Good nicht to ye.
1189
01:08:50,916 --> 01:08:52,791
And may you rest in peace.
1190
01:08:54,666 --> 01:08:57,916
Rest in p…? He means R.I.P!
1191
01:08:58,000 --> 01:08:59,291
Yes, that's right.
1192
01:08:59,375 --> 01:09:02,958
- Well, is it safe to drink?
- Not unless you want to poison yourself.
1193
01:09:03,041 --> 01:09:05,041
Anyway, one thing we can be sure of.
1194
01:09:05,125 --> 01:09:09,208
If the murderer used poison or poison gas,
he's not likely to use either again.
1195
01:09:09,291 --> 01:09:11,000
- Oh, good.
- He'll keep us guessing.
1196
01:09:11,083 --> 01:09:12,458
- Yes.
- What will he use?
1197
01:09:12,625 --> 01:09:14,083
Oh, well, dozens of things.
1198
01:09:14,166 --> 01:09:16,583
- Yes, there's electrocution.
- Powdered glass.
1199
01:09:16,750 --> 01:09:18,791
- Black widow spiders.
- Brides in the bath.
1200
01:09:18,875 --> 01:09:21,208
- Snakes down the bedside bell rope.
- What?
1201
01:09:24,875 --> 01:09:26,666
- That was a bit of luck!
- What?
1202
01:09:26,833 --> 01:09:29,291
- There isn't a bell rope.
- Well, he won't use that.
1203
01:09:29,375 --> 01:09:30,375
Hey!
1204
01:09:30,416 --> 01:09:32,833
He's quite likely to use
a secret panel instead.
1205
01:09:32,916 --> 01:09:36,916
I say, can't I sleep somewhere else?
Can't we call the thing off till tomorrow?
1206
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:39,750
And spoil the whole thing?
No, you stay where you are.
1207
01:09:39,833 --> 01:09:41,708
Well, we'd better have a look around.
1208
01:09:45,166 --> 01:09:46,166
Ah, there's an echo.
1209
01:09:46,250 --> 01:09:48,708
- That was me.
- Don't do it, then! Leave it to me!
1210
01:09:59,625 --> 01:10:01,916
- I told you not to do that.
- I didn't do that.
1211
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:03,291
- Did you?
- No.
1212
01:10:03,375 --> 01:10:05,125
- But I heard it, too.
- So did I.
1213
01:10:05,208 --> 01:10:07,375
- It seemed to come from over there.
- Oh?
1214
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:14,958
Hey, the pistol's gone.
Did you take it after all?
1215
01:10:15,041 --> 01:10:17,416
- No.
- Ah. Well, it's gone, anyway.
1216
01:10:17,500 --> 01:10:20,583
- Well, who could have taken it?
- Why, the murderer, of course!
1217
01:10:20,666 --> 01:10:22,041
What? But how?
1218
01:10:22,125 --> 01:10:24,208
I don't know. It shows he means business.
1219
01:10:24,291 --> 01:10:26,083
Pipes!
1220
01:10:26,625 --> 01:10:28,166
- Now's our chance!
- Yes.
1221
01:10:28,250 --> 01:10:30,125
- What shall I do?
- Well, listen.
1222
01:10:30,208 --> 01:10:33,041
Stay here, and if he gets by us
and tries to murder you,
1223
01:10:33,125 --> 01:10:35,083
don't let him do it before we get back.
1224
01:10:35,166 --> 01:10:37,458
Yes. What, what?
1225
01:10:37,541 --> 01:10:39,041
- Come on!
- Yes.
1226
01:10:39,125 --> 01:10:42,208
Ahem, after you.
1227
01:10:43,625 --> 01:10:46,541
It's coming from up there somewhere.
1228
01:10:46,625 --> 01:10:47,875
- The battlements!
- Yes.
1229
01:11:02,791 --> 01:11:05,458
- He's up here, all right.
- Yes, sounds like it.
1230
01:11:20,291 --> 01:11:23,000
Oh! Why, it's only Antony and Cleopatra!
1231
01:11:23,166 --> 01:11:24,750
"Only Antony!" Get out of here!
1232
01:11:24,916 --> 01:11:26,833
Get away! Shew! Shew!
1233
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:28,833
- Well, that settles that.
- Yes
1234
01:11:31,416 --> 01:11:34,125
If it's those cats,
they're meowing in tune this time!
1235
01:11:34,208 --> 01:11:35,708
It's the pipes, down below!
1236
01:11:40,125 --> 01:11:42,458
Stick it, old boy!
Stick it! You're doing fine!
1237
01:11:43,166 --> 01:11:48,666
The bride that MacKinnon took in his arms
that nicht was drowned and cold and stark.
1238
01:11:48,750 --> 01:11:51,625
They laid her body in the Great Bedchamber!
1239
01:11:51,708 --> 01:11:53,375
Headmaster!
1240
01:11:53,458 --> 01:11:55,541
Jamie!
1241
01:11:59,708 --> 01:12:01,750
Mr. Tisdaile, are ye no there?
1242
01:12:08,500 --> 01:12:11,916
Headmaster? Mr. Tisdaile, where are ye?
1243
01:12:12,791 --> 01:12:14,083
Do you no hear the pipes?
1244
01:12:14,583 --> 01:12:16,791
Save yer-self! Save yer-self!
1245
01:12:17,250 --> 01:12:19,625
Oh, Mr. Tisdaile! Where are ye?
1246
01:12:19,708 --> 01:12:21,625
Save yer-self!
1247
01:12:23,250 --> 01:12:24,250
Ah!
1248
01:12:26,875 --> 01:12:29,208
- If it's those cats, I'll wring your neck!
- Hey!
1249
01:12:29,291 --> 01:12:31,291
It's not coming from the battlements.
1250
01:12:31,375 --> 01:12:33,458
It's coming from behind this wall.
1251
01:12:33,541 --> 01:12:36,416
This wall? Don't be silly.
These walls are solid.
1252
01:12:38,083 --> 01:12:40,166
- Hey, what the…?
- Look!
1253
01:12:43,041 --> 01:12:44,291
It's a secret chamber!
1254
01:12:49,833 --> 01:12:52,250
Look! There's your phantom pipes!
1255
01:12:52,416 --> 01:12:54,625
This must be where the murderer started.
1256
01:12:54,791 --> 01:12:59,458
Used to be the torture chamber, I bet!
You know, racks, and thumb screws!
1257
01:12:59,958 --> 01:13:02,916
I wonder how you turn this thing off?
1258
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:04,333
Hey, hey! Stop that noise!
1259
01:13:14,375 --> 01:13:17,458
Ritzy. Ritzy!
1260
01:13:17,541 --> 01:13:19,708
The phantom pipes!
1261
01:13:19,791 --> 01:13:21,041
I can't hear anything.
1262
01:13:21,750 --> 01:13:23,083
Well, they've stopped now.
1263
01:13:23,166 --> 01:13:25,291
There's something wrong with your earhole.
1264
01:13:25,458 --> 01:13:29,000
Get the idea! He puts the record on,
then, while it's still playing,
1265
01:13:29,083 --> 01:13:31,291
he creeps out and…
1266
01:13:31,375 --> 01:13:33,500
Yes, I suppose… Tisdaile!
1267
01:13:34,625 --> 01:13:37,375
Hey! Where's the door?
Somebody's taken it away!
1268
01:13:38,833 --> 01:13:42,208
We must've trodden on a secret… Hey!
There's another way out there!
1269
01:13:43,333 --> 01:13:46,500
- This must be the way the murderer went.
- Well, go on, then.
1270
01:13:46,583 --> 01:13:49,125
Oh no! Your turn, now. After you!
1271
01:13:49,208 --> 01:13:51,291
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
1272
01:14:25,416 --> 01:14:28,458
- He's got me!
- Great scot, it's Lamb!
1273
01:14:28,541 --> 01:14:29,458
So it was you!
1274
01:14:29,541 --> 01:14:31,583
Don't be an ass! He's not the…
1275
01:14:32,083 --> 01:14:34,416
Wait a minute! What are you supposed to be?
1276
01:14:34,500 --> 01:14:36,625
I thought if I were mechanized, it'd help.
1277
01:14:36,708 --> 01:14:38,083
"Mechanized?" Bah!
1278
01:14:38,166 --> 01:14:39,958
- Did you get him?
- No, not likely to.
1279
01:14:40,041 --> 01:14:41,666
He'll put it off for the week.
1280
01:14:43,416 --> 01:14:45,375
- What's that?
- Ah, he hasn't put it off.
1281
01:14:45,458 --> 01:14:48,458
It's on the battlements! Those cats!
1282
01:14:48,541 --> 01:14:50,958
- Let me go!
- Give me that gun!
1283
01:14:51,041 --> 01:14:53,791
I never heard a cat say that before!
1284
01:14:55,500 --> 01:14:58,541
- Let me go!
- Give me that gun!
1285
01:14:58,625 --> 01:15:00,875
Look! I told you so!
1286
01:15:01,583 --> 01:15:03,333
Get out!
1287
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:07,708
Are you all right, Mrs. Wigmore?
1288
01:15:07,791 --> 01:15:09,916
Help me with her.
1289
01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:12,375
Sit down. There.
1290
01:15:12,458 --> 01:15:14,875
- Oh! What's that?
- Oh, it's only Tis-bags!
1291
01:15:15,041 --> 01:15:17,333
- A sort of battle dress.
- Yes.
1292
01:15:17,416 --> 01:15:20,458
It's all right! I'll be better in a minute.
1293
01:15:20,541 --> 01:15:21,791
He was signaling!
1294
01:15:21,875 --> 01:15:24,791
I saw the light flashing,
came up, and he attacked me.
1295
01:15:24,875 --> 01:15:27,083
We'd better lock him up
and phone the police.
1296
01:15:27,166 --> 01:15:28,916
- Well, where's safe?
- I'll show you.
1297
01:15:31,416 --> 01:15:33,750
- Who was he signaling to?
- What does it matter?
1298
01:15:33,833 --> 01:15:36,000
We've got him, haven't we?
Help me lift him.
1299
01:15:36,083 --> 01:15:37,291
Turn him over.
1300
01:15:42,666 --> 01:15:43,916
This way!
1301
01:15:47,875 --> 01:15:49,125
Good gracious!
1302
01:15:53,500 --> 01:15:55,291
It's a very good idea!
1303
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:01,583
This is the torture chamber.
1304
01:16:02,291 --> 01:16:05,291
Oh! A radiogram. They're very
up to date with their tortures!
1305
01:16:05,375 --> 01:16:07,666
Silly! That's where the pipes come from.
1306
01:16:07,750 --> 01:16:10,541
Yes. Frightened everybody to death!
Except me, of course!
1307
01:16:10,625 --> 01:16:12,416
Are you sure it's absolutely safe?
1308
01:16:12,500 --> 01:16:15,333
Oh yes! No one can get out
of here once the door's shut.
1309
01:16:15,416 --> 01:16:16,583
It's safe, all right.
1310
01:16:17,208 --> 01:16:19,000
Look! He's coming round!
1311
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:21,916
You thought you'd get away with it?
1312
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:24,833
You've got to stop her. She's a Nazi agent.
1313
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:26,958
Oh, come off it. Don't try that stuff!
1314
01:16:27,125 --> 01:16:29,750
I'm from the Secret Service.
1315
01:16:29,833 --> 01:16:32,416
Caught her signaling a submarine.
1316
01:16:35,958 --> 01:16:37,041
Looks like he's right!
1317
01:16:37,208 --> 01:16:40,125
They've used the castle
to land spies from submarines.
1318
01:16:40,208 --> 01:16:43,416
There's one due tonight.
When they come, our chaps'll get them.
1319
01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:44,833
She's trying to stop them.
1320
01:16:45,750 --> 01:16:47,208
You've got to stop her.
1321
01:16:47,791 --> 01:16:51,541
I hardly believe Wigmore's a secret
submarine and blowing the phantom pipes!
1322
01:16:51,625 --> 01:16:53,250
Not to mention the murders!
1323
01:16:53,333 --> 01:16:55,750
To think I let her
rub my back with embrocation!
1324
01:16:55,833 --> 01:16:58,541
Well, we've got to get out
to stop her signaling them!
1325
01:16:58,625 --> 01:16:59,750
Yeah, how?
1326
01:16:59,833 --> 01:17:01,500
- What's that?
- What's what?
1327
01:17:01,583 --> 01:17:02,625
Something's rumbling.
1328
01:17:03,916 --> 01:17:06,208
- Well, it isn't me.
- I say!
1329
01:17:06,916 --> 01:17:09,833
Either you're getting taller,
or the ceiling's coming down.
1330
01:17:09,916 --> 01:17:11,708
By Jove, you're right! So it is!
1331
01:17:12,541 --> 01:17:13,875
One of the tortures!
1332
01:17:13,958 --> 01:17:16,458
She's not taking chances.
It's going to squash us!
1333
01:17:16,541 --> 01:17:18,375
Can't we escape through that grate?
1334
01:17:18,541 --> 01:17:20,208
What, with all those meat skewers?
1335
01:17:20,291 --> 01:17:22,333
- No, yell for help!
- Help, help, help!
1336
01:17:22,416 --> 01:17:24,291
You've got to shout louder than that!
1337
01:17:24,375 --> 01:17:26,208
Help, help, help!
1338
01:17:26,291 --> 01:17:28,166
They'll never hear us yell all night!
1339
01:17:28,250 --> 01:17:30,000
Well, they heard that loud speaker.
1340
01:17:30,083 --> 01:17:32,083
- I've got it!
- We're going to get it too!
1341
01:17:32,166 --> 01:17:35,541
The mic's connected to speakers
in the castle! We can speak through!
1342
01:17:35,708 --> 01:17:37,583
Oh, good! They'll be bound to help us!
1343
01:17:38,916 --> 01:17:42,166
Hello. This is the Home Serv…
This is Hillary Tisdaile speaking.
1344
01:17:42,250 --> 01:17:45,041
- S.O.S.
- That's no good! We haven't got all night!
1345
01:17:45,125 --> 01:17:47,125
Hello, hello? Whoever's listening!
1346
01:17:47,291 --> 01:17:49,333
- We're shut up.
- You shut up!
1347
01:17:49,416 --> 01:17:51,791
- We're shut in and can't get out.
- Help! S.O.S!
1348
01:17:51,875 --> 01:17:53,583
It's Tis-bags and old baa-Lamb!
1349
01:17:53,666 --> 01:17:55,125
They're shut in somewhere.
1350
01:17:55,208 --> 01:17:57,458
Tell them where we are! Hurry up!
1351
01:17:57,541 --> 01:17:59,833
- Thorne's there too!
- Where's it coming from?
1352
01:17:59,916 --> 01:18:03,083
It sounds as if it's out in the passage.
Come on!
1353
01:18:03,250 --> 01:18:06,125
It's very, very urgent!
There's not a moment to lose!
1354
01:18:06,208 --> 01:18:09,000
They won't know where it is.
Tell them how to get to us!
1355
01:18:09,083 --> 01:18:11,791
From the main hall,
it's the first right, second left.
1356
01:18:11,875 --> 01:18:14,625
No, it's the second left
and the first right and then--
1357
01:18:14,708 --> 01:18:18,125
It's secret entrance in the
corridor by the spiral staircase!
1358
01:18:18,208 --> 01:18:19,750
Bang on the wall and it opens!
1359
01:18:19,916 --> 01:18:21,041
That's right!
1360
01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:26,458
There! Now it's busted!
1361
01:18:29,250 --> 01:18:30,916
Something happened. It's stopped!
1362
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:33,666
Corridor by the spiral staircase,
thump the walls.
1363
01:18:33,750 --> 01:18:35,541
Come on, you chaps! Downstairs!
1364
01:18:35,708 --> 01:18:38,250
I think we ought to toss up
who wears this armor.
1365
01:18:38,333 --> 01:18:40,875
Hey, hey! Come on. Out you go!
1366
01:18:40,958 --> 01:18:42,625
Don't let her go. It's good luck!
1367
01:18:42,791 --> 01:18:44,458
There's enough of us in here!
1368
01:18:44,541 --> 01:18:48,208
- We can give her a message for them.
- How do we know she won't forget it?
1369
01:18:48,291 --> 01:18:50,416
- We write it down.
- Silly! She can't read!
1370
01:18:50,500 --> 01:18:52,833
No! Write it down and tie it on her. Here.
1371
01:18:52,916 --> 01:18:54,666
- Give me some paper.
- I haven't any.
1372
01:18:54,750 --> 01:18:57,000
- Give me your collar.
- Aright. But what for?
1373
01:18:57,083 --> 01:18:58,708
- Never mind what!
- Here you are.
1374
01:18:58,791 --> 01:19:00,291
Hurry! She's getting restless.
1375
01:19:00,375 --> 01:19:04,250
- Sing something to keep her interested.
- Hello pussy! How are you? All right?
1376
01:19:04,333 --> 01:19:05,833
Give me your tie!
1377
01:19:09,541 --> 01:19:10,875
Come on! Hurry up with it!
1378
01:19:10,958 --> 01:19:14,500
Stop fiddling about with it.
Don't waste time on pretty little knots.
1379
01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:16,166
Go on, push it out. All the way.
1380
01:19:16,250 --> 01:19:19,125
Go on, pussy! Off you go! Go on!
1381
01:19:19,291 --> 01:19:21,416
Ssh! Ssh! Pussy go on! Ssh!
1382
01:19:21,583 --> 01:19:24,500
- I hope somebody sees her!
- They will sooner or later.
1383
01:19:24,583 --> 01:19:26,166
But it may be much too later.
1384
01:19:26,250 --> 01:19:28,666
Let's get under that table!
It's made of iron.
1385
01:19:28,750 --> 01:19:31,625
- Even stone can't squash that, can it?
- Come on then!
1386
01:19:35,583 --> 01:19:37,791
I hope you're right about iron and stone!
1387
01:19:37,875 --> 01:19:41,083
Of course I'm right!
Don't you break stone with an iron hammer?
1388
01:19:48,625 --> 01:19:51,416
Hey, what's that?
Looks like one of baa-Lamb's collars.
1389
01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:52,916
It's got a message on it!
1390
01:19:54,208 --> 01:19:58,375
"S.O.S. Look for cross sabers
in top corridor. Thump wall just below."
1391
01:19:58,458 --> 01:19:59,791
"Come quickly. P. Thorne."
1392
01:19:59,958 --> 01:20:02,041
Top corridor! We've been at the wrong one!
1393
01:20:02,208 --> 01:20:03,916
Come on, chaps! Upstairs!
1394
01:20:04,666 --> 01:20:08,250
We shall all be like sardines in a minute!
1395
01:20:08,333 --> 01:20:10,583
Why the grumbling? You're already in a tin.
1396
01:20:10,750 --> 01:20:12,625
- There!
- Just below, the message said.
1397
01:20:16,958 --> 01:20:19,125
Hey, look here! Hey, come on. Help us out!
1398
01:20:24,541 --> 01:20:28,041
Oh! Let me out, let me out. Oh! Oh!
1399
01:20:28,500 --> 01:20:29,916
How did you get in there?
1400
01:20:30,000 --> 01:20:33,500
- Never mind! Where's Mrs. Wigmore?
- The battlements, I expect! Come on!
1401
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:42,416
There she is!
1402
01:20:42,583 --> 01:20:44,666
Stand back!
1403
01:20:46,083 --> 01:20:48,375
- Put that down!
- Sh… She's probably bluffing!
1404
01:20:48,458 --> 01:20:50,791
We'll teach her to make pancakes out of us!
1405
01:20:50,875 --> 01:20:54,375
Y… Yes. Let's rush her!
It's your turn, now! Go!
1406
01:20:54,458 --> 01:20:56,333
- Ooh, gun!
- No. Ignore that!
1407
01:20:56,416 --> 01:20:57,416
Get back!
1408
01:21:08,875 --> 01:21:10,875
Come along, Mrs. Wigmore.
1409
01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:16,166
Ah, well. That's that!
1410
01:21:16,625 --> 01:21:18,458
That's the end of the phantom pipes!
1411
01:21:18,541 --> 01:21:20,833
Yes, we shan't hear those anymore.
1412
01:21:30,083 --> 01:21:32,500
- Ah, that's the all clear!
- All clear.
1413
01:21:32,583 --> 01:21:35,791
Well, you can go home now if you like!
Come on, Claude!116018
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