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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:11,734 In 1971, a young woman died at the age of 20. 2 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,988 She left behind a husband, a two year old daughter 3 00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:18,574 and a journal of tape recordings. 4 00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:22,912 A journal that told what it was like to be young and a mother 5 00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:25,581 and in love and dying. 6 00:03:26,499 --> 00:03:29,585 The names of the people in her life have been changed. 7 00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:32,129 But we have retained her spirit 8 00:03:32,672 --> 00:03:34,965 and many of the actual words from her tapes. 9 00:03:37,093 --> 00:03:40,262 J“ country roads, take me home j“ 10 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:45,142 Boy, I want them to play "country roads" at my funeral. 11 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:50,647 Dying is beautiful, even the first time around 12 00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:51,941 at the ripe old age of 20. 13 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,194 It's not easy most of the time, 14 00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:59,198 but there is a real beauty to be found in knowing that your end... 15 00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:02,493 Is gonna catch up with you faster than you had expected. 16 00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:06,621 And that you have to get all your loving and laughing and crying done 17 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:07,915 as 800” as you can. 18 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:13,504 I pray that I live long enough to see Jill become a human being. 19 00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:15,423 Independent of Sam and me. 20 00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:18,926 At least old enough to reason some on her own. 21 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,886 Old enough so she'll remember me. 22 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,434 I guess I like the idea of cremation 23 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:30,646 for the thought of having my ashes just spread across the mountains. 24 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:46,120 J“ almost heaven West Virginia j“ 25 00:04:46,746 --> 00:04:50,583 j“ blue Ridge mountains, shenandoah river j“ 26 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:56,129 j“ life is old there older than the trees j“ 27 00:04:56,130 --> 00:05:00,508 j“ younger than the mountains blowing like a breeze j“ 28 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:05,097 J“ country roads, take me home j“ 29 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:10,518 j“ to the place I belong j“ 30 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:15,316 j“ West Virginia, mountain mamma j“ 31 00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:20,029 j“take me home, country roads j“ 32 00:05:21,781 --> 00:05:25,951 j“ all my memories, gather round her j“ 33 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:31,165 j“ miner's lady, stranger to blue water j“ 34 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:36,586 j“ dark and dusty, painted on the sky j“ 35 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:40,924 j“ misty taste of moonshine teardrop in her eye j“ 36 00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:45,262 j“ country roads, take me home j“ 37 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:50,683 j“ to the place I belong j“ 38 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:55,231 j“ West Virginia, mountain mamma j“ 39 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:59,735 j“ take me home, country roads j“ 40 00:06:01,821 --> 00:06:06,283 j“ I hear her voice in the morning hour she calls me j“ 41 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:11,121 j“ the radio reminds me of my home far away j“ 42 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:15,041 j“ driving down the road I get a feeling j“ 43 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:18,170 j“ that I should have been home yesterday j“ 44 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,048 j“ yesterday j“ 45 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:30,007 j“ country roads, take me home j“ 46 00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:33,018 j“ take me home j“ 47 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,355 j“...in my life's time... j“ 48 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:39,440 In the early months of 1970 49 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,861 Kate Hayden was living in Riverdale, Washington. 50 00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,029 She had just turned 19. 51 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,115 And she was very much in love. 52 00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:53,914 J“ I've been lately thinking about my life's time j“ 53 00:06:54,290 --> 00:06:57,751 j“ all the things I've done and how it's been j“ 54 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:04,675 j“ and I can't help believing in my own mind j“ 55 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:08,803 j“ I know I'm gonna hate to see it and j“ 56 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:13,725 J“ I know my lady's pleasure j“ 57 00:07:13,726 --> 00:07:14,852 morning, toots. 58 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,436 There she is! Wow! 59 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:22,108 That's terrific. Remind me to hire you when I get rich. 60 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,027 -Ok. _ok? 61 00:07:23,028 --> 00:07:28,031 J“ I have to say it now it's been a good life all in all j“ 62 00:07:28,032 --> 00:07:32,328 j“ it's really fine to have a chance to hang around j“ 63 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:40,293 J“ lie there by the fire and watch the evening tire j“ 64 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:42,922 Get your bunny! 65 00:07:43,923 --> 00:07:45,507 Your bunny... 66 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:50,155 Oh, and yeah, well, listen, what was the verdict at the doctor's, anyway? 67 00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:52,139 Oh, same old bursitis. 68 00:07:52,348 --> 00:07:56,100 He gave me a shot. Said I can try out for the olympic track team tomorrow. 69 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:57,894 Oh, that's terrific. That's terrific for you. 70 00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,854 Yeah, but why didn't he just give you that last month? 71 00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:01,981 Why does he wait until now to do all that stuff. 72 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,193 Well, we're having this thing 73 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,113 and we figured you'd never get suspicious if I had to keep going back for my knee. 74 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,324 Yeah! 75 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,292 I gotcha. I gotcha. 76 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,422 I gotcha. 77 00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,466 Uh, do you mind, please? 78 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,594 You should be a plumber instead of a musician. 79 00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:36,517 Sex fiends! 80 00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:39,394 Later. 81 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,396 - Much later! - Yeah! 82 00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:04,503 - Sam? - Hmm? 83 00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:06,672 - Sam? - Hmm? 84 00:09:07,131 --> 00:09:09,049 Hold me. 85 00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:12,051 -Listen. 86 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,637 I'll hold ya. I'll hold ya. 87 00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,597 What? What did...? It's all right, baby. 88 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:19,226 He's wrong. I know he's wrong. I know, the doctor. 89 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,686 The doctor? What's he wrong about then? 90 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:22,771 The bursitis. 91 00:09:23,022 --> 00:09:24,022 Huh? 92 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:26,608 The bursitis, I know he's wrong about that. 93 00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:28,277 Why? How? Why? 94 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:31,196 'Cause I keep having this dream. 95 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:35,034 - I just know it's something else. - Oh! Baby! 96 00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:40,539 - Baby, dreams never, ever come true. - No, it's true. 97 00:09:41,165 --> 00:09:42,499 They do not. 98 00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:46,544 Hey. 99 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,380 Hey. 100 00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:50,883 You know what? 101 00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:52,050 What? 102 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:59,099 We're going to the mountains tomorrow. 103 00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,983 - Wanna go to the mountains tomorrow? - Mm-hmm. 104 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,396 It's up! 105 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:07,023 It's up! 106 00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:11,569 All right! 107 00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:14,448 I was so happy that week and I was just gonna explode. 108 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,117 So full of love for my baby and my man 109 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:22,039 And those absolutely mind blowing mountains. 110 00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:24,665 There just wasn't room for anything else. 111 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:27,628 There wasn't room for pain or sickness or fear. 112 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,297 Life was just too incredibly beautiful. 113 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,257 Come here. 114 00:10:32,258 --> 00:10:33,592 Oh! 115 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,845 When are you gonna get some real hair any how? 116 00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:40,723 Oh! Baby. 117 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,895 Aw, come on. Let's gather some. 118 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:50,233 You're supposed to have long, silky curls, so I can... 119 00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:52,068 Play Alice in wonderland with you. 120 00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:55,364 Yes, I'll be the white rabbit, and daddy'll be mad hatter. Come on. 121 00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,616 I'll get this soap off of ya. 122 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,244 And we can get out of the tub, yes we can. 123 00:11:01,245 --> 00:11:03,247 Come on. Yes. 124 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,998 Sam! Sam! 125 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,042 Sam! Sam! 126 00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:10,670 What? What ha... 127 00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:13,506 Get Jill! No! Get Jill! 128 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,924 Ok, no, no. 129 00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:17,593 Baby, baby. Baby, baby. 130 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,429 Why? What happened? Why? What? 131 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,765 - What happened? - I don't know. 132 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:22,932 Did you slip? 133 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:23,933 - No, it was my knee. - Was there water on the floor? 134 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:25,309 - Something here fall? What? - It was my knee. 135 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:26,538 - Your knee? Does it hurt? - It was my knee! 136 00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:28,021 Does it hurt? 137 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:29,398 It just collapsed. 138 00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:35,153 Ok, that's it! We're going to Riverdale! Right today and we get another doctor. 139 00:11:35,154 --> 00:11:36,989 One that's... a good one this time. 140 00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:39,198 Dr. Colburn's just as good as any doctor. 141 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,199 He's a quack! 142 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,286 - You don't even know him! - What's he done but waste our time? 143 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:44,788 He's done his best. 144 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,206 That's why I went to the clinic. To save money. 145 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,710 Right, and like all your bargains, it winds up costing us ten times as much. 146 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,378 I think you're terrific, too. 147 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,214 Weaver had a line on a used bike. 148 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:57,592 Now, we're gonna have to spend every last penny on another stupid doctor. 149 00:11:57,593 --> 00:12:00,012 I don't enjoy being sick! 150 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:03,098 I'm not doing it on purpose! 151 00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:07,436 I'm not doing it to thwart you! I don't enjoy almost killing my baby! 152 00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:08,978 Quit blaming me! 153 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:12,773 All I'm saying is that if you would've went to a decent doctor six months ago, 154 00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,276 you'd be well by now. 155 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:17,904 By waiting six months now, it's gonna take ten times longer to cure 156 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:21,782 and it's gonna take us ten times as much and we can't afford it. 157 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:25,453 Nobody says you have to spend your money on me. No strings, remember? 158 00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:27,246 Bye, good riddance. 159 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,624 Meaning? 160 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,834 Leave! Go get your stupid bike! I'll cope! 161 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,545 Will you? Maybe you will. Yeah. 162 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:39,550 What am I here for, then? What am I doing? Am I decoration? I know, comic relief. 163 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,136 Right? Right. 164 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:43,721 You really want me to leave? 165 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:46,682 Please yourself! Do what you wanna do! 166 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:47,683 Right. 167 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:52,856 Creep! 168 00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:12,042 Beep-beep. 169 00:13:17,215 --> 00:13:19,216 Do you need a ride, pretty lady? 170 00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:22,135 You're late. 171 00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:29,768 Wanna get in then? 172 00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:50,496 Where are we going? 173 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,291 Spokane. For tests. 174 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,918 Now he thinks it's a tumor. 175 00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:00,799 What's a tumor? It's a mole, it's nothing. 176 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,473 I gotta be there Monday. 177 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,520 Please, Sam. 178 00:14:14,438 --> 00:14:16,315 Don't bail out on me now. 179 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,072 Hmm. 180 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,073 Well... 181 00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:28,660 Well, what do you need then? You need the bus fare? 182 00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:31,621 Or do you need me? 183 00:14:36,168 --> 00:14:38,336 How can you be so silly? 184 00:14:38,337 --> 00:14:39,337 Well... 185 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:40,421 Hmm? 186 00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:43,508 How can I love anybody as stupid as you? 187 00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:46,530 Well, if it isn't old foul mouth Weaver himself? 188 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,073 Where have you been? 189 00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,784 Oh, here and there. 190 00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:52,743 Horrific to see you, Kate. 191 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,578 It's been heaven without you. 192 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,373 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know, uh, Sam Hayden? 193 00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,292 Uh, no, but I think I should. 194 00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:01,710 Uh, hi. 195 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:04,839 Hello! 196 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,840 Hi. 197 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:07,842 First, can I have a glass of water? 198 00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:09,386 - I'll get it. - No, I'll get it. 199 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,060 Ah-ha! 200 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,354 Ah-ha! 201 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,355 The... ah-ha... 202 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,693 - Lookin' for some water? - Yes. 203 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:33,034 Thank you. 204 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,034 You're welcome. 205 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:06,066 J“ sunshine in my eyes j“ 206 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,862 j“ can make me cry j“ 207 00:17:09,321 --> 00:17:11,031 do you come on like this to everybody? 208 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,115 Are you embarrassed? 209 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,116 J“ sunshine j“ 210 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:19,163 j“ on the water looks so lovely j“ 211 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:20,164 you shouldn't be. 212 00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:21,583 Why not? 213 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,045 J“ sunshine j“ 214 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,839 - can I sit there? - Where? 215 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:29,841 - Right there. - Sure. 216 00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:34,638 J“ makes me high j“ 217 00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:41,061 J“ sunshine on my shoulders j“ 218 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:45,482 j“ looks so lovely j“ 219 00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:50,194 j“ sunshine j“ 220 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:52,696 j“ in my eyes j“ 221 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:55,784 j“ can make me cry j“ 222 00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:01,373 j“ sunshine j“ 223 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,458 j“ on the waterj“ 224 00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:07,963 j“ looks so lovely j“ 225 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,634 j“ sunshine j“ 226 00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,636 j“ nearly always j“ 227 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:18,890 j“ makes me high j“ 228 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,862 Oh, what a place! 229 00:18:33,572 --> 00:18:34,614 What a place. 230 00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:37,367 All this and that view up there. 231 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,036 - You've been up here all your life? - No, no. 232 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,496 I wish. 233 00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:44,416 No, I've been living in Riverdale. 234 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,543 But I was born in three forks. 235 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:48,628 You know where three forks is? 236 00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:51,339 - It's on the Columbia river. - Oh, I know. 237 00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,300 Well, I left home when I was 14. 238 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,302 - Oh, really? - Mm-hmm. 239 00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,515 I was nervy little brat. 240 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:02,851 Oh, I know. 241 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:28,917 Um... 242 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,464 - I think I better tell you something. - Ok. 243 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:36,968 Um, I think people oughta be totally and utterly honest with each other. 244 00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:38,762 Oh, well... 245 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,306 If I'm being totally and utterly honest. 246 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:43,099 I want you... 247 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,060 Something fierce. 248 00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:49,230 I'm pregnant. 249 00:20:01,285 --> 00:20:02,369 Who was it? 250 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:06,122 Why does everybody always ask that question first? 251 00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:08,750 It's a really dumb question. 252 00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:11,419 - Why don't you ask me if I'm happy? - Was it Weaver? 253 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,296 Are you kidding? 254 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,839 He's my cousin. 255 00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:16,299 And besides, I hate him. 256 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,551 It's nobody from around here. 257 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,512 Hmm. 258 00:20:20,513 --> 00:20:24,473 It's... it's somebody I'm married to but I haven't seen him in months. 259 00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:28,269 His name is David and I married him when I was 16 years old. 260 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:32,941 And I guess I did it 'cause I wanted to show my mother. 261 00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:35,109 Hmm. 262 00:20:36,528 --> 00:20:37,529 And what about the baby? 263 00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:41,074 - Oh, well, that's a whole other trip. - Oh. 264 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,325 You're gonna have it though. You're gonna keep... 265 00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:44,953 Of course, I'm gonna keep it. 266 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:49,416 I wanna be a mother more than anything in the whole wide world. 267 00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:51,876 And you can't do that without as kid. 268 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,899 Good morning, mother. 269 00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,610 - Here she is. - Oh, boy. 270 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:21,823 Sit up there for me, will you? Will you sit up a bit more? 271 00:21:22,866 --> 00:21:24,409 There you are. 272 00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:27,996 - Ok, she has... - What did I do? 273 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:29,663 How do I do it? 274 00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:31,957 Are you comfortable there? Watch out for the... 275 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,168 Make sure you've got your arm underherhead. 276 00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:35,961 - Oh, Sam. - Gorgeous. 277 00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,046 Really? 278 00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:39,256 Hold your arm under her head. Hold your arm under her head. 279 00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:40,924 How does she know what to do? 280 00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:41,926 Should I do that? 281 00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:45,013 She's working hard now. 282 00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:46,638 She'll fall asleep in a minute 283 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:47,599 and don't let her little nose 284 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,349 - be touching something. - Ok. 285 00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:51,561 - I'll let you two get to know one another. - Ok. 286 00:21:54,898 --> 00:21:56,065 Wow. 287 00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,067 She looks... 288 00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:01,028 Sort of like Adolf Hitler, don't you think? 289 00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:02,488 Sam, that's terrible! 290 00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:03,864 You Nazi. 291 00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:04,865 Does not. 292 00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:07,786 She looks like David. 293 00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:12,456 Well... 294 00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:14,333 She's pretty. 295 00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:16,669 Yeah, no, well, David... Speaking of David. 296 00:22:17,295 --> 00:22:20,673 Uh, they give me the birth certificate. 297 00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:23,175 - Gave me... - Sam, put that back on. 298 00:22:23,176 --> 00:22:26,094 Yeah, well, they gave me the birth certificate to fill it out. 299 00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:30,307 And, uh, and under the name, you know, where it said, where it said, 300 00:22:30,308 --> 00:22:31,600 "name of father", 301 00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:34,228 I... well, I didn't know David's last name, see. So, I... 302 00:22:34,229 --> 00:22:36,689 So, I put Sam Hayden. 303 00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:40,860 Is that... is that... is that all right? 304 00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,071 Oh, Sam. 305 00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:46,824 Oh, wow. 306 00:22:46,825 --> 00:22:48,785 - It's... - Ok. 307 00:22:59,128 --> 00:23:00,088 Hmm. 308 00:23:00,089 --> 00:23:01,840 - Hi, Dr. Wilde. - Hi. 309 00:23:02,465 --> 00:23:04,091 Want some tapioca? 310 00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,384 Looks delicious. 311 00:23:05,385 --> 00:23:06,385 Come off it! 312 00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:08,512 There you go. 313 00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:16,645 You kids like it straight from the shoulder, don't you? 314 00:23:16,646 --> 00:23:19,023 Tapioca, straight from the shoulder. 315 00:23:20,108 --> 00:23:22,569 - You know what I mean. - Ok. 316 00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,655 You have something called osteogenic sarcoma. 317 00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:27,657 It's a tumor on the bone. 318 00:23:29,951 --> 00:23:32,287 Well, some tumors aren't too bad, right? 319 00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:34,913 Right. This one's malignant. 320 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:36,666 We need to stop it immediately. 321 00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,501 And I mean immediately. 322 00:23:38,877 --> 00:23:43,381 Now, I've rearranged about 25 schedules so I can operate tomorrow. 323 00:23:44,257 --> 00:23:45,300 You see. 324 00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:51,263 Osteogenic sarcoma is a kind of cancer that travels from bone to the lung. 325 00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:53,933 If we do not stop it in the bone, we can't stop it in the lung. 326 00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:58,354 - Once it gets to the lung, I die, right? - Right. 327 00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:03,860 And how do you take a tumor out of the bone? 328 00:24:04,986 --> 00:24:06,195 We take off the bone. 329 00:24:07,322 --> 00:24:08,573 My leg? 330 00:24:10,992 --> 00:24:12,744 You wanna take my leg off? 331 00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:15,120 It's the best way to get rid of the cancer. 332 00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:17,415 - No! - Kate. 333 00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:21,418 It's the best way to stop the cancer. 334 00:24:21,419 --> 00:24:23,713 Quickly, cleanly and permanently. 335 00:24:24,297 --> 00:24:27,216 Look, why don't you sign these and give them to the nurse? 336 00:24:27,383 --> 00:24:28,593 What do they say? 337 00:24:29,302 --> 00:24:31,304 That you'll give us permission to operate. 338 00:24:31,846 --> 00:24:36,559 I've gotta talk to Sam. I'm not gonna sign any papers saying you can cut my leg off. 339 00:24:37,310 --> 00:24:39,227 Did you see him in the hallway? 340 00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:40,228 No, I didn't. 341 00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:42,023 Well, I've got to talk to him. 342 00:24:42,649 --> 00:24:45,026 Why is he never here when I need him? 343 00:24:54,702 --> 00:24:56,579 Can I borrow a dime? 344 00:25:18,393 --> 00:25:19,559 - Hi. - It's about time. 345 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,770 - Why? - Why weren't you here? 346 00:25:21,771 --> 00:25:24,231 - What? - I needed you and you were not here. 347 00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:26,483 - Wait a minute! - You're never here when I need you. 348 00:25:26,484 --> 00:25:27,985 What are you talking about? I just got here. 349 00:25:27,986 --> 00:25:29,903 Would you slow down, please, Kate? 350 00:25:29,904 --> 00:25:31,781 Just tell me what's goin' on! 351 00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:33,157 Please? 352 00:25:33,158 --> 00:25:36,077 - What is going on? Shh! - They wanna amputate my leg. 353 00:25:38,830 --> 00:25:39,830 Tomorrow. 354 00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:41,707 Oh, come on. 355 00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:44,127 Big joke, right, Sam? Let's split. 356 00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,046 I've gotta think. 357 00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:49,465 I wanna go to the mountains. 358 00:25:52,176 --> 00:25:54,594 Hold on. What do they wanna amputate your leg for? 359 00:25:54,595 --> 00:25:56,472 Because it's full of cancer! 360 00:26:00,101 --> 00:26:02,270 Take it easy but take it. 361 00:26:02,812 --> 00:26:04,980 That's one thing my mother taught me to say 362 00:26:04,981 --> 00:26:07,483 when you encounter those little daily falls. 363 00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:11,069 Take it easy, but take it. 364 00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:13,573 Take it! 365 00:26:20,955 --> 00:26:24,791 You know, Dr. Wilde said some pretty heavy things back there. 366 00:26:24,792 --> 00:26:26,752 Well, Dr. Wilde is a freak. 367 00:26:26,753 --> 00:26:29,337 Yeah, maybe we should get another doctor. 368 00:26:29,338 --> 00:26:31,174 I don't wanna talk about it. 369 00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:34,469 You know, there's gotta be other kinds of treatment. 370 00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:40,724 You know, there's this great cancer clinic in Vancouver. 371 00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:42,601 - Vancouver? - Yeah. 372 00:26:42,602 --> 00:26:44,895 Couple of hundred miles. What's a couple of hundred miles? 373 00:26:44,896 --> 00:26:47,689 Couple of hundred miles? I wanna stay right there. 374 00:26:47,690 --> 00:26:50,860 Exactly like this for the rest of my life. 375 00:26:52,987 --> 00:26:56,616 So, I'm happy and... Shut up! 376 00:26:57,492 --> 00:26:59,243 Want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? 377 00:27:00,411 --> 00:27:03,121 I want some peace and quiet. 378 00:27:03,122 --> 00:27:05,708 One peace and quiet on rye! 379 00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:10,671 Oh, no, no, no. 380 00:27:13,091 --> 00:27:15,842 That's too much. Beautiful. 381 00:27:17,011 --> 00:27:18,221 She weighs a ton. 382 00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:20,305 Ok, so we're going tomorrow. 383 00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:21,808 To the clinic. 384 00:27:22,225 --> 00:27:23,226 Not me. 385 00:27:33,945 --> 00:27:34,945 Peace! 386 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:37,073 Hello. 387 00:27:38,449 --> 00:27:40,700 Oh, what's your name? Or that's a multiple choice, 388 00:27:40,701 --> 00:27:42,537 you can pick whatever you want. 389 00:27:44,163 --> 00:27:45,539 It's David. 390 00:27:45,540 --> 00:27:46,540 David? 391 00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:48,000 David! 392 00:27:48,209 --> 00:27:52,088 That can't be David. He doesn't have four heads and green, scaly skin. 393 00:27:53,714 --> 00:27:56,300 - What'd you come up here for? - To see my child. 394 00:28:00,388 --> 00:28:02,473 She's not yours. She's mine. 395 00:28:03,182 --> 00:28:05,267 Well, come in. Have dinner. 396 00:28:05,268 --> 00:28:06,268 Be civilized. 397 00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:13,109 Do you know how I found about the baby? 398 00:28:13,526 --> 00:28:14,985 Your mother told me about it. 399 00:28:14,986 --> 00:28:17,070 It never occurred to her that I didn't know. 400 00:28:17,071 --> 00:28:19,157 She's a little dense sometimes. 401 00:28:21,450 --> 00:28:23,202 I signed the divorce papers. 402 00:28:23,911 --> 00:28:26,581 You only have for like a year, haven't you? 403 00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:29,834 But I signed 'em before I knew about the child. 404 00:28:30,126 --> 00:28:32,169 - Jill. - Sam. 405 00:28:32,170 --> 00:28:35,213 "The child" this, "the child" that. She's got a name. Her name is Jill. 406 00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:36,673 You don't have to tell him. 407 00:28:36,674 --> 00:28:39,009 Jill Patricia Hayden. 408 00:28:39,010 --> 00:28:41,303 Jill for her... Come here. 409 00:28:41,304 --> 00:28:44,139 Jill for her paternal great grandmother. 410 00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:45,807 Uh, Patricia for Kate's sister. 411 00:28:45,808 --> 00:28:47,810 And Hayden for me. 412 00:28:49,145 --> 00:28:50,145 Yeah. 413 00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:54,400 You do sort of look like her, you know? Kate said you did when she was born. 414 00:28:54,775 --> 00:28:56,944 Oh. Here, you wanna hold her for me? 415 00:28:57,570 --> 00:29:00,364 And I'll try to get Kate. 416 00:29:12,376 --> 00:29:14,002 Now, it ought to be possible, 417 00:29:14,003 --> 00:29:15,731 Theoretically speaking, at least, 418 00:29:15,755 --> 00:29:19,799 for two people to love one another and then not love one another 419 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,176 and still converse with each other. 420 00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:23,637 I mean, after all, they're still people. 421 00:29:23,638 --> 00:29:25,305 They can still talk. 422 00:29:25,306 --> 00:29:28,976 - Still be honest with one another, huh? - Deal with the upfront. 423 00:29:29,227 --> 00:29:33,104 Forget the hurt. Just like it was another examination to get through. 424 00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:35,774 - You're wasting your breath. - No, no, no, my dear! 425 00:29:35,775 --> 00:29:37,609 Never let it be said! 426 00:29:37,610 --> 00:29:41,571 That a man who quests for love, peace and understanding. 427 00:29:41,572 --> 00:29:45,033 J“ be it ever so humble j“ 428 00:29:45,034 --> 00:29:49,246 scale-wise speaking that is, quests in vain. 429 00:29:49,247 --> 00:29:51,289 - What's he on? - Nothing. 430 00:29:51,290 --> 00:29:53,960 - He just gets this way. - Spooky. 431 00:29:54,835 --> 00:29:56,295 I like it. 432 00:30:00,883 --> 00:30:03,051 Oh, yeah, listen, I noticed when you were driving up 433 00:30:03,052 --> 00:30:04,929 that your car was packed. Uh... 434 00:30:05,429 --> 00:30:06,638 You going some place. 435 00:30:06,639 --> 00:30:08,516 Home and the university. 436 00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:11,518 - I talked to a lawyer. - You're into that, huh? 437 00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:12,603 What are you studying? 438 00:30:13,271 --> 00:30:14,438 Geology. 439 00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:16,232 I talked to a lawyer. 440 00:30:16,732 --> 00:30:19,109 Not telling me you were pregnant when you filed for divorce 441 00:30:19,110 --> 00:30:22,405 is what they call an omission of a material fact. 442 00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:28,202 Which means that I don't have to give you the divorce. 443 00:30:28,536 --> 00:30:30,788 And I can get custody of the child. 444 00:30:32,206 --> 00:30:33,665 Over my dead body. 445 00:30:33,666 --> 00:30:35,625 Oh, what do you want her for, anyway? 446 00:30:35,626 --> 00:30:36,751 Man, you don't look like the maternal type... 447 00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:39,588 I'm not saying I want her, I'm saying I can have her. 448 00:30:41,299 --> 00:30:43,341 I see what you meant about this guy. 449 00:30:43,342 --> 00:30:45,719 Frankly I don't know why you want custody. 450 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:48,305 I don't know why you didn't get an abortion. 451 00:30:48,306 --> 00:30:51,933 All I heard from her for a year and a half is, "I'm trapped, 452 00:30:51,934 --> 00:30:54,102 this is a mistake. Let me out. 453 00:30:54,103 --> 00:30:57,063 I hate making your bed and ironing your shirts. 454 00:30:57,064 --> 00:31:00,817 I hate responsibility. Any and all kinds of responsibility. 455 00:31:00,818 --> 00:31:02,236 - I'm not ready." - Stop it. 456 00:31:02,611 --> 00:31:03,945 -And here you are, taking care of a house, -shut up! 457 00:31:03,946 --> 00:31:06,532 A man and his child. What happened? 458 00:31:08,034 --> 00:31:10,744 - I wear sweatshirts. - I grew up. 459 00:31:10,745 --> 00:31:12,579 Yeah, sure. For five minutes. 460 00:31:12,580 --> 00:31:15,206 Until some other life style strikes your fancy. 461 00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:16,708 That's not really fair. 462 00:31:16,709 --> 00:31:19,753 It's not really fair to raise a child on alfalfa sprouts and marijuana. 463 00:31:19,754 --> 00:31:22,130 I'm not raising her on alfalfa sprouts and marijuana. 464 00:31:22,131 --> 00:31:23,673 I'll give you the divorce, if you'll give me the child. 465 00:31:23,674 --> 00:31:25,258 - I'll raise her right. - You'll raise her? 466 00:31:25,259 --> 00:31:27,385 - My mother will. You like her. - Your mother will! 467 00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:29,220 - She'll raise her right, won't she? - I'm not gonna listen to any more of this. 468 00:31:29,221 --> 00:31:32,015 Then you'll have everything you've always wanted. Freedom. A new start! 469 00:31:32,016 --> 00:31:34,894 - No responsibilities! - Well, I'll tell you something. 470 00:31:35,686 --> 00:31:37,355 Jill needs Kate. 471 00:31:38,230 --> 00:31:40,941 And Kate needs Jill and I need both of them. 472 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,400 Now. 473 00:31:43,527 --> 00:31:45,987 What's it gonna take to make you understand that. 474 00:31:45,988 --> 00:31:47,238 Let's go outside. 475 00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:48,406 David, you're acting like a ten year old! 476 00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:49,617 You stay out of this! 477 00:31:49,867 --> 00:31:52,078 High noonsville. 478 00:31:58,459 --> 00:32:00,127 Before we punch it out, David. 479 00:32:00,461 --> 00:32:03,005 I just think that I should tell you that... 480 00:32:03,714 --> 00:32:04,965 People change. 481 00:32:05,716 --> 00:32:08,928 The only thing Kate wants out of life now is to be a good mother. 482 00:32:09,929 --> 00:32:12,223 Well, "only", I say "only". 483 00:32:12,473 --> 00:32:13,473 That's number one. 484 00:32:13,724 --> 00:32:17,436 And number two is, is she has cancer. 485 00:32:24,652 --> 00:32:26,028 - You serious. - Yeah. 486 00:32:35,121 --> 00:32:36,455 How extensive is it? 487 00:32:37,081 --> 00:32:39,917 They wanna amputate her leg. 488 00:32:40,167 --> 00:32:41,794 Oh, my god. 489 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,676 What about the baby? What about Jill? 490 00:32:49,677 --> 00:32:52,011 Well, they'll cure it if she has Jill, see. 491 00:32:52,012 --> 00:32:54,557 They'll have to. She won't let them not. 492 00:32:55,057 --> 00:32:57,475 Because Jill's not a burden to her. 493 00:32:57,476 --> 00:33:01,522 She's not a restriction on her freedom. Jill's her life. 494 00:33:22,751 --> 00:33:23,751 It's yours. 495 00:33:24,378 --> 00:33:25,378 Thank you. 496 00:33:28,549 --> 00:33:29,800 You're crazy. 497 00:33:42,438 --> 00:33:48,027 J“ yes, I've been dreaming about you every day j“ 498 00:33:49,236 --> 00:33:52,031 j“ each and every day j“ 499 00:33:54,658 --> 00:34:00,414 j“ and I've been thinking about you all night long j“ 500 00:34:01,123 --> 00:34:04,168 j“ I even wrote a song j“ 501 00:34:06,837 --> 00:34:11,717 j“ just to let you know how I really feel j“ 502 00:34:13,093 --> 00:34:18,224 j“ to make you understand my love is real j“ 503 00:34:18,474 --> 00:34:22,477 j“ that you're on my mind all the time j“ 504 00:34:22,478 --> 00:34:23,645 j“ I wish to god... j“ 505 00:34:23,646 --> 00:34:25,064 ls Sam Hayden there? 506 00:34:27,650 --> 00:34:30,528 Well, if he shows up, will you tell him that Kate called? 507 00:34:31,278 --> 00:34:32,530 "Kate." 508 00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:36,783 - Ok. Thank you. - What are you doing out here? 509 00:34:36,784 --> 00:34:39,661 You're not supposed to be up. I told you to keep your weight off that knee. 510 00:34:39,662 --> 00:34:41,079 - Come on. - How come they put a woman in charge 511 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,540 of the whole cancer section. Because it's hopeless? 512 00:34:43,541 --> 00:34:45,250 Because this is the children's wing. 513 00:34:45,251 --> 00:34:48,336 Children who don't stay in bed when they are told to stay in bed. 514 00:34:48,337 --> 00:34:50,255 - My bottom gets sore. - I'm gonna have them bring you 515 00:34:50,256 --> 00:34:53,551 - a terrific crutch. - I can hardly wait. 516 00:35:05,104 --> 00:35:07,022 Is Sam Hayden there? 517 00:35:08,691 --> 00:35:11,527 Well, if he shows up, will you tell him that Kate called? 518 00:35:12,486 --> 00:35:14,738 No, I already tried that number. 519 00:35:16,907 --> 00:35:18,784 I tried that number, too. 520 00:35:19,910 --> 00:35:22,162 Uh, never mind. Ok? 521 00:35:22,705 --> 00:35:25,666 Sure looks like you could use some music, little lady. 522 00:35:26,083 --> 00:35:28,751 I can't make any sensible decision without you, Sam. 523 00:35:28,752 --> 00:35:30,044 And you're never here. 524 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:33,464 And this morning, I was always hanging around, getting on your nerves. 525 00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:34,799 - Quote, unquote. - Any idiot could've figured out 526 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,135 that I didn't need you while I was going through my tests. 527 00:35:38,429 --> 00:35:41,472 J“ any idiot could have figured out... j“ 528 00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:43,934 can you stop hiding behind that stupid guitar? 529 00:35:45,894 --> 00:35:49,105 Listen, how much longer, how much more money do you think I can borrow 530 00:35:49,106 --> 00:35:51,608 from my parents, Kate? I gotta get a job. 531 00:35:51,609 --> 00:35:53,986 You can get a job any day of the week you want. 532 00:35:54,278 --> 00:35:56,321 Mopping floors, washing dishes. 533 00:35:56,322 --> 00:35:57,488 - Driving a truck. - Mmm. 534 00:35:57,489 --> 00:35:59,198 - But you don't want a job. - Idont, huh? 535 00:35:59,199 --> 00:36:00,617 - Can I come into the room, please? - You just wanna split 536 00:36:00,618 --> 00:36:02,458 from this whole scene. No, why don't you leave? 537 00:36:03,454 --> 00:36:05,371 You can't take it. 538 00:36:05,372 --> 00:36:06,373 I can't take it? 539 00:36:06,749 --> 00:36:09,792 I've been sleeping at the foot of your bed ever since you checked in the hospital. 540 00:36:09,793 --> 00:36:12,045 - Can't take it. - You can't sleep anywhere else for free. 541 00:36:12,046 --> 00:36:14,048 I don't... I don't believe you. 542 00:36:16,634 --> 00:36:18,217 What are you gonna be? 543 00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:20,804 When you grow up, you fat old thing? 544 00:36:22,681 --> 00:36:24,141 Tall blonde and beautiful, huh? 545 00:36:24,475 --> 00:36:26,267 Kate, don't let her nurse. 546 00:36:26,268 --> 00:36:27,685 Get me a nursing bottle. 547 00:36:27,686 --> 00:36:29,771 Why? The doctors in spokane said it was ok. 548 00:36:29,772 --> 00:36:32,649 Because you have radioactive iodine in you from the tests. 549 00:36:32,650 --> 00:36:34,108 - Now, take her off that breast... - I don't wanna... 550 00:36:34,109 --> 00:36:35,276 - It can be passed in milk. - Wean her yet. 551 00:36:35,277 --> 00:36:36,986 You want me to do it? You want me to do it? 552 00:36:36,987 --> 00:36:38,363 I want you to leave. 553 00:36:38,364 --> 00:36:42,076 "I need you. Why aren't you ever here when I need you?" 554 00:36:42,451 --> 00:36:45,578 Right, sit up and all you have to do is hold her as you would nursing. 555 00:36:45,579 --> 00:36:47,914 May I have the bottle? Thank you. 556 00:36:47,915 --> 00:36:50,708 All right, give her the bottle and don't upset yourself for her. 557 00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:52,377 I can't do it. I don't wanna wean her yet. 558 00:36:52,378 --> 00:36:54,337 - You want me to do it? - No. 559 00:36:54,338 --> 00:36:56,005 She's used to the breast from you. 560 00:36:56,006 --> 00:36:58,716 She might take the bottle better from her father. Try it. 561 00:36:58,717 --> 00:37:01,636 He's not her father. He's not my husband. 562 00:37:01,637 --> 00:37:05,223 - He's just some creep off the street. - I see. 563 00:37:05,224 --> 00:37:07,851 Well, all right then, let me try it. 564 00:37:08,227 --> 00:37:11,355 I suppose you haven't discussed your treatment with him either, have you? 565 00:37:11,689 --> 00:37:14,023 - I just hang out for laughs. - We noticed. 566 00:37:14,024 --> 00:37:16,901 The generally accepted way to treat osteogenic sarcoma 567 00:37:16,902 --> 00:37:18,486 is by amputation. 568 00:37:18,487 --> 00:37:20,321 You remove the cancerous part. 569 00:37:20,322 --> 00:37:23,408 If it hasn't spread to any other parts of the body, it's the best solution. 570 00:37:23,409 --> 00:37:25,660 Yes, come. 571 00:37:25,661 --> 00:37:26,953 He's not interested. 572 00:37:26,954 --> 00:37:29,455 I am too interested. Would you shut up? 573 00:37:29,456 --> 00:37:32,250 The scanner showed that it hadn't spread. I think that's amazing 574 00:37:32,251 --> 00:37:34,210 considering how long you waited. 575 00:37:34,211 --> 00:37:36,547 - You're not cutting off my leg. - May I continue? 576 00:37:37,506 --> 00:37:41,343 The other possibility is radiation and chemotherapy. 577 00:37:41,552 --> 00:37:44,846 Right, which will make my leg to break and my hair to fall out 578 00:37:44,847 --> 00:37:46,764 and diarrhea and nausea. 579 00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:48,474 Possibly, but I don't think you can compare 580 00:37:48,475 --> 00:37:50,893 losing you hair with losing your leg, Kate. 581 00:37:50,894 --> 00:37:52,812 Well, it's a lousy trip either way. 582 00:37:52,813 --> 00:37:55,356 So, why don't we just skip the whole thing? 583 00:37:55,357 --> 00:37:57,067 That's suicide. 584 00:37:57,443 --> 00:37:59,444 All these other horrible things that she's gonna do to me 585 00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:00,653 and there's no guarantees. 586 00:38:00,654 --> 00:38:03,115 No guarantees but a little more time. 587 00:38:03,615 --> 00:38:05,200 A little more time for this one. 588 00:38:06,034 --> 00:38:08,954 It's what you wanted, I thought. To be a mother. 589 00:38:09,163 --> 00:38:11,497 I don't know what I want any more. 590 00:38:11,498 --> 00:38:14,793 Except to be left alone just to figure things out. 591 00:38:16,211 --> 00:38:19,631 Do you think this is happening to me because I was born on the 13th? 592 00:38:20,549 --> 00:38:22,801 Or because I ran away from home? 593 00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:24,969 Do you believe in retribution? 594 00:38:24,970 --> 00:38:27,556 Nobody I know believes in... ugh... 595 00:38:29,892 --> 00:38:32,185 I don't wanna be a temporary mother for a year or two. 596 00:38:32,186 --> 00:38:34,855 I wanna be a mother until I'm a grandmother. 597 00:38:36,398 --> 00:38:38,775 And I can't learn to walk on one leg 598 00:38:38,776 --> 00:38:41,068 while Jill's learning to walk on two. 599 00:38:41,069 --> 00:38:43,321 I won't. It's not fair to Jill. 600 00:38:43,322 --> 00:38:46,074 And what does all that mean in practical terms, Kate? 601 00:38:47,034 --> 00:38:50,077 It means she wants to wake up tomorrow morning with no cancer. 602 00:38:50,078 --> 00:38:52,497 And three legs please. Certainly no less than two. 603 00:38:52,498 --> 00:38:53,749 Mmm. 604 00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:56,126 All right. Then. 605 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,837 We will start radiation treatments in the morning. 606 00:38:59,838 --> 00:39:01,006 There you go. 607 00:39:04,092 --> 00:39:07,136 Would you two call a truce if I sent in two dinners? 608 00:39:07,137 --> 00:39:08,722 -Yes. 609 00:39:10,140 --> 00:39:11,558 I'm not hungry. 610 00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:13,811 You behave yourself. 611 00:39:24,905 --> 00:39:27,991 Why is everything all tangled up, all of a sudden? 612 00:39:30,285 --> 00:39:32,287 I don't know. 613 00:39:37,501 --> 00:39:38,961 Well, I love ya. 614 00:39:40,337 --> 00:39:42,673 - Did you forget that? - No. 615 00:39:45,676 --> 00:39:47,594 It's just that... 616 00:39:48,595 --> 00:39:50,556 Come on, say it. Tell me, tell me. 617 00:39:51,098 --> 00:39:52,640 I'm scared. 618 00:39:52,641 --> 00:39:54,475 Oh... I know. 619 00:39:54,476 --> 00:39:58,646 I know you're scared. I am scared, too. Everybody is scared all the time. 620 00:39:58,647 --> 00:40:01,066 Inside. Everybody. Always. 621 00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:04,902 Well, maybe she's wrong. Maybe there's somebody else. 622 00:40:04,903 --> 00:40:07,697 Somewhere else, who can give us a different answer. 623 00:40:07,698 --> 00:40:09,949 Radiation. I don't want to be full of radiation. 624 00:40:09,950 --> 00:40:13,370 I'll be afraid to touch my child. 625 00:40:14,246 --> 00:40:15,998 I'm afraid I'll contaminate her. 626 00:40:19,126 --> 00:40:21,961 That's as bad as cutting off my leg. 627 00:40:21,962 --> 00:40:24,965 But I don't have the money to go any place else. 628 00:40:26,341 --> 00:40:27,718 And you don't have the time. 629 00:40:30,304 --> 00:40:34,265 This is the best cancer hospital in the whole northwest. 630 00:40:34,266 --> 00:40:36,267 And Dr. Gillman is the head of it. 631 00:40:36,268 --> 00:40:40,147 At least, this part of it. She's got to know something. Right? 632 00:40:41,356 --> 00:40:44,151 We've just gotta trust her, baby. 633 00:40:45,986 --> 00:40:47,279 And each other. 634 00:40:48,196 --> 00:40:50,365 I don't know, it just seems like... 635 00:40:50,866 --> 00:40:55,245 Ninety-nine percent of this whole strange scene is trust. 636 00:40:57,164 --> 00:41:00,584 Who are you auditioning for this afternoon, Norman Vincent peale? 637 00:41:07,549 --> 00:41:10,259 All right. Ok. 638 00:41:10,260 --> 00:41:11,637 Now tell me to leave. 639 00:41:12,179 --> 00:41:13,555 -Leave. 640 00:41:13,722 --> 00:41:15,723 Mean it. 641 00:41:15,724 --> 00:41:17,684 - I couldn't. Not in a million years. - Blah... 642 00:41:19,186 --> 00:41:20,561 All right, good. 643 00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:25,442 J“ lady, are you crying? J“ 644 00:41:26,652 --> 00:41:32,449 j“ do the tears belong to me j“ 645 00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:36,160 j“ do you think j“ 646 00:41:36,161 --> 00:41:42,083 j“ our time together is all gone j“ 647 00:41:42,084 --> 00:41:46,837 oh, yeah. You know, the divorce papers were in the mail this morning. 648 00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:49,382 Wow! Where's the champagne? 649 00:41:49,383 --> 00:41:51,593 I'm saving it for the wedding. 650 00:41:53,804 --> 00:41:59,308 J“ I'm as close as I can be j“ 651 00:41:59,309 --> 00:42:00,977 wedding? 652 00:42:00,978 --> 00:42:02,979 Uh, in the great hereafter, I suppose. 653 00:42:02,980 --> 00:42:05,983 No tomorrow. After the first treatment. 654 00:42:06,441 --> 00:42:08,526 J“ has just begun j“ 655 00:42:08,527 --> 00:42:12,196 well, my mother used to get us milkshakes after the dentist. 656 00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:14,366 This is for real. 657 00:42:14,866 --> 00:42:20,080 J“ close your eyes and rest j“ 658 00:42:20,247 --> 00:42:23,207 j“ your weary mind j“ 659 00:42:23,208 --> 00:42:26,669 - we're getting married in the hospital? - Yeah. 660 00:42:26,670 --> 00:42:27,629 Yeah. 661 00:42:27,630 --> 00:42:30,631 No, Weaver and I met this guy at this audition. 662 00:42:30,632 --> 00:42:33,760 And, uh, he studied to be a rabbi once. 663 00:42:34,177 --> 00:42:37,472 Do you want to be married by an almost rabbi? 664 00:42:37,764 --> 00:42:39,557 My mother will flip out! 665 00:42:39,558 --> 00:42:42,518 Oh, no, he's beautiful, he's beautiful. He looks like Moses. 666 00:42:42,519 --> 00:42:44,061 He's a 100 feet tall. 667 00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:45,688 Except his beard is shorter. 668 00:42:45,689 --> 00:42:48,275 No, he will... he'll keep me humble. 669 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:54,364 J“ became entwined j“ 670 00:42:55,866 --> 00:42:56,866 um... 671 00:42:58,035 --> 00:43:00,078 Are you serious. 672 00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:02,830 J“ that you could know j“ 673 00:43:02,831 --> 00:43:03,998 j“ how much... j“ 674 00:43:03,999 --> 00:43:04,958 is it legal? 675 00:43:04,959 --> 00:43:08,836 J“ I love you j“ 676 00:43:08,837 --> 00:43:11,130 no, well, probably not. 677 00:43:11,131 --> 00:43:16,386 No, but I'll have a justice of peace waiting in the wings, just in case. 678 00:43:17,929 --> 00:43:23,310 J“ I'm as close as I can be j“ 679 00:43:23,477 --> 00:43:25,562 how come now, huh? 680 00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:30,275 I mean, marrying me is like betting on a three-legged horse. 681 00:43:30,984 --> 00:43:33,360 - You can't win. - Oh, you can, though. 682 00:43:33,361 --> 00:43:34,820 Yeah, you can. 683 00:43:34,821 --> 00:43:38,700 If you have a strange thing for three-legged horses. 684 00:43:40,035 --> 00:43:40,994 Oh, Sam! 685 00:43:40,995 --> 00:43:43,747 J“ lady, my sweet lady j“ 686 00:43:45,082 --> 00:43:47,666 j“ I'm as close as... j“ 687 00:43:52,297 --> 00:43:54,925 J“ and I... j“ 688 00:43:55,801 --> 00:43:58,678 J“ our time... j“ 689 00:44:36,466 --> 00:44:39,176 Weaver... 690 00:44:39,177 --> 00:44:40,344 Hey, Sam. Have you got the ring? 691 00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:41,554 - Yes. - Good. 692 00:44:41,555 --> 00:44:43,305 Now, come over here. Right? 693 00:44:43,306 --> 00:44:46,434 Put the ring on her right hand, index finger. 694 00:44:49,855 --> 00:44:53,607 Beautiful women invariably fall for dumb men. 695 00:44:53,608 --> 00:44:57,361 Now, I told you put it on her right hand. Index finger. 696 00:44:57,362 --> 00:44:58,321 - You got that? - Yes. 697 00:44:58,322 --> 00:44:59,781 Ok, stand over here. 698 00:45:00,657 --> 00:45:02,491 Right here. Face her. Good. 699 00:45:02,492 --> 00:45:06,705 Now, put it on her right hand, index finger. Beautiful. 700 00:45:07,038 --> 00:45:09,040 Now you switch it to l3. 701 00:45:11,918 --> 00:45:13,711 - It's ritual. - Oh. 702 00:45:13,712 --> 00:45:15,297 Come on, Weaver. 703 00:45:15,797 --> 00:45:17,590 Ok, now, pay attention. 704 00:45:17,591 --> 00:45:19,383 Because this is the crux of the whole thing right here. 705 00:45:19,384 --> 00:45:22,971 This is the heart. The soul. The foundation. 706 00:45:23,513 --> 00:45:25,098 Now, repeat after me. 707 00:45:25,473 --> 00:45:31,479 Behold, you are consecrated unto me by this ring. 708 00:45:31,897 --> 00:45:35,983 And note, consecrated means that she becomes holy. 709 00:45:35,984 --> 00:45:37,044 Huh? 710 00:45:37,068 --> 00:45:40,864 An object of reverence and utmost regard. It's heavy stuff. 711 00:45:41,031 --> 00:45:42,031 Hmm. 712 00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:45,076 - Ok. Time to drink. - Oh. 713 00:45:45,702 --> 00:45:47,078 Weaver, a minor. 714 00:45:57,005 --> 00:46:00,175 J“ blessed art thou, o lord our god j“ 715 00:46:00,383 --> 00:46:03,803 j“ who has created man and woman j“ 716 00:46:04,095 --> 00:46:06,847 j“ who has created earth and sky j“ 717 00:46:06,848 --> 00:46:08,307 j“ that's enough j“ 718 00:46:08,308 --> 00:46:12,979 j“ who has created brotherhood and joy j“ 719 00:46:17,859 --> 00:46:19,276 step on it. 720 00:46:19,277 --> 00:46:22,529 - You mean, break, break the glass? - Smash it. Come on. 721 00:46:24,658 --> 00:46:26,408 Yee-haw! 722 00:46:34,876 --> 00:46:36,293 And note, note. 723 00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:39,588 As impossible as it would be to put this glass back together, 724 00:46:39,589 --> 00:46:43,510 so it is impossible for you two to live apart from one another. Huh? 725 00:46:44,052 --> 00:46:46,345 You almost missed the whole thing, sleepy head. 726 00:46:46,346 --> 00:46:48,765 Hey, sleepyhead. 727 00:46:49,015 --> 00:46:51,184 A minor again? 728 00:46:51,393 --> 00:46:54,812 J“ banish, o lord, both grief and wrath j“ 729 00:46:54,813 --> 00:46:57,523 j“ that the dumb may exult in song j“ 730 00:46:57,524 --> 00:47:00,734 j“ with the sanction of those present we will bless our god j“ 731 00:47:00,735 --> 00:47:05,323 j“ in whose abode is joy through whose goodness we live j“ 732 00:47:05,824 --> 00:47:08,367 now, repeat after me. 733 00:47:08,368 --> 00:47:09,911 With feeling, if possible. 734 00:47:10,495 --> 00:47:12,037 Blessed be our god. 735 00:47:12,038 --> 00:47:13,790 Blessed be our god. 736 00:47:14,833 --> 00:47:18,043 Louder. Come on. In whose abode is joy. 737 00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:19,920 In whose abode is joy! 738 00:47:19,921 --> 00:47:21,672 That's better, ok. 739 00:47:21,673 --> 00:47:23,257 Through whose goodness we live. 740 00:47:23,258 --> 00:47:25,259 Through whose goodness we live. 741 00:47:25,260 --> 00:47:27,720 Of whose bounty we have partaken. 742 00:47:27,721 --> 00:47:29,763 Of whose bounty we have partaken. 743 00:47:29,764 --> 00:47:30,931 Terrific. 744 00:47:30,932 --> 00:47:32,474 Terrific! 745 00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:33,475 No, that's it. 746 00:47:35,478 --> 00:47:39,441 J“ put your hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water j“ 747 00:47:40,317 --> 00:47:43,987 j“ put your hand in the hand of the man who calmed the sea j“ 748 00:47:45,155 --> 00:47:47,114 j“ take a look at yourself j“ 749 00:47:47,115 --> 00:47:49,909 j“ and you can look at others differently j“ 750 00:47:50,660 --> 00:47:54,289 j“ put your hand in the hand of the man from galilee j“ 751 00:47:58,126 --> 00:48:02,005 j“ put your hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water j“ 752 00:48:03,173 --> 00:48:07,093 j“ put your hand in the hand of the man who calmed the sea j“ 753 00:48:08,261 --> 00:48:09,845 j“ take a look at yourself j“ 754 00:48:09,846 --> 00:48:13,016 j“ and you can look at others differently j“ 755 00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:17,937 j“ put your hand in the hand of the man from galilee j“ 756 00:48:25,445 --> 00:48:27,571 - Oh. Sam. - Welcome home. 757 00:48:27,572 --> 00:48:29,698 - Which one is it? - Right here, with the screen 758 00:48:29,699 --> 00:48:31,408 and, uh, and the dirty windows. 759 00:48:31,409 --> 00:48:33,744 Oh, I've gotta get inside. 760 00:48:33,745 --> 00:48:36,205 - No, it's got indoor plumbing. Huh? - Oh, Sam. 761 00:48:36,206 --> 00:48:39,209 Hot and cold, oh, yeah. Hot and cold running water. 762 00:48:39,417 --> 00:48:41,711 - Not too many steps. - Ah, baby don't cry. 763 00:48:42,128 --> 00:48:44,964 Close enough to the hospital to walk when you're feeling stronger, 764 00:48:45,465 --> 00:48:48,384 the whole beautiful world outside your living room door. 765 00:48:48,385 --> 00:48:49,426 Uh? Uh? 766 00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:52,180 - There's even a bay with the sailboats. - Yeah. 767 00:48:52,639 --> 00:48:53,890 - It's beautiful. - Oh! 768 00:48:58,770 --> 00:49:01,106 Oh, Sam. 769 00:49:01,314 --> 00:49:04,651 - Look at the size of this kitchen. - There's more. There's much more. 770 00:49:05,985 --> 00:49:07,320 Oh, Sam. 771 00:49:07,529 --> 00:49:10,490 - But it's enormous. - Yeah. 772 00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:12,826 Wow. 773 00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:17,204 - But can we afford it? Ok. - Just let me worry about that please. 774 00:49:19,791 --> 00:49:20,792 I know. 775 00:49:22,419 --> 00:49:25,587 - We even have a John that works. - Yep. 776 00:49:25,588 --> 00:49:28,550 Uh, the first thing I'm going to do is make a rug. 777 00:49:28,925 --> 00:49:32,303 A rag rug and then I'm gonna make a patchwork quilt. 778 00:49:33,930 --> 00:49:36,683 My grandmother taught me to do it about a 100 years ago. 779 00:49:37,642 --> 00:49:39,936 I love it! 780 00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:41,646 Hi. 781 00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:44,398 Hi. I thought you children might need some food. 782 00:49:44,399 --> 00:49:46,066 It's chicken and herbs, the baby's gonna... 783 00:49:46,067 --> 00:49:47,694 Oh, that's the baby. 784 00:49:49,279 --> 00:49:51,071 Oh, hey, she's so pretty. 785 00:49:51,072 --> 00:49:52,489 Yeah, what's her name? 786 00:49:52,490 --> 00:49:54,241 - Jill. - Jill. 787 00:49:54,242 --> 00:49:56,201 Right. I know you're really busy. 788 00:49:56,202 --> 00:49:57,870 But, hey, if you want to go out, leave the baby with me. 789 00:49:57,871 --> 00:50:00,497 I'll take really good care of Jill. I really will. I really love children. 790 00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:01,832 And if you Eve need anything, stomp on the floor 791 00:50:01,833 --> 00:50:04,461 because I live in the basement. It's sort of like a basement. 792 00:50:04,919 --> 00:50:08,465 Oh, uh, I'm Nora. See you later. 793 00:50:08,923 --> 00:50:09,924 Friend of yours? 794 00:50:10,133 --> 00:50:15,054 Uh, well, she lives downstairs, and she runs a psychedelic shop, I think. 795 00:50:15,305 --> 00:50:17,347 Hi, dad. And then, upstairs, 796 00:50:17,348 --> 00:50:20,851 there's a family of Romanians with a trampoline. 797 00:50:20,852 --> 00:50:22,352 Uh, they run a gym. 798 00:50:22,353 --> 00:50:25,647 Oh, you're going to love this. 799 00:50:25,648 --> 00:50:27,484 You're going to love this. 800 00:50:28,234 --> 00:50:30,111 You're going to... 801 00:50:33,114 --> 00:50:34,573 - What? - Uh... 802 00:50:34,574 --> 00:50:37,784 - What? You want a pillow? Some water? - No, just play me something. Ok? 803 00:50:37,785 --> 00:50:39,953 - No... are you su... are you... yeah? - Uh-huh. 804 00:50:39,954 --> 00:50:41,498 Just play me a song. 805 00:50:41,831 --> 00:50:43,500 Ok. Hang on. 806 00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:50,298 I got one for ya. 807 00:50:57,931 --> 00:50:59,766 J“ sunshine j“ 808 00:51:00,350 --> 00:51:04,646 j“ on my shoulders makes me happy j“ 809 00:51:11,277 --> 00:51:13,571 J“ sunshine j“ 810 00:51:13,947 --> 00:51:19,244 j“ almost always makes me high j“ 811 00:51:19,702 --> 00:51:22,121 that was close. 812 00:51:23,289 --> 00:51:24,332 And... 813 00:51:24,874 --> 00:51:27,209 J“ sunshine j“ 814 00:51:27,210 --> 00:51:29,461 j“ on the waterj“ 815 00:51:29,462 --> 00:51:33,049 j“ looks so lovely j“ 816 00:51:37,887 --> 00:51:40,389 J“ sunshine j“ 817 00:51:40,390 --> 00:51:43,642 j“ almost always j“ 818 00:51:43,643 --> 00:51:46,771 j“ makes me high j“ 819 00:51:47,355 --> 00:51:48,398 oh! 820 00:51:51,568 --> 00:51:56,113 J“ if I had a song j“ 821 00:51:56,114 --> 00:52:01,536 j“ that I could sing for you j“ 822 00:52:05,081 --> 00:52:07,417 j“ I 'd sing a song j“ 823 00:52:08,334 --> 00:52:14,132 j“ sure to make you smile j“ 824 00:52:14,299 --> 00:52:15,382 I didn't know if you'd sing that line. 825 00:52:15,383 --> 00:52:18,885 I didn't either. No, no, no, no. 826 00:52:18,886 --> 00:52:20,470 J“ if I had a... j“ 827 00:52:20,471 --> 00:52:21,638 oh, what's wrong? 828 00:52:21,639 --> 00:52:23,266 J“ a wish j“ 829 00:52:23,558 --> 00:52:27,687 J“ that I could wish for you j“ 830 00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:34,276 j“ I 'd make a wish j“ 831 00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:41,618 J“ take me home, country roads j“ 832 00:52:46,372 --> 00:52:48,416 J“ gather round her j“ 833 00:52:49,292 --> 00:52:53,504 j“ miner's lady, stranger to blue water j“ 834 00:53:06,809 --> 00:53:11,146 J“ I love you all night long j“ 835 00:53:11,147 --> 00:53:15,651 j“ and it's goodbye again j“ 836 00:53:15,652 --> 00:53:19,488 j“ I'm sorry to be leavin' you j“ 837 00:53:19,489 --> 00:53:22,533 j“ goodbye again j“ 838 00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:25,036 j“ as if you didn't... j“ 839 00:53:25,828 --> 00:53:27,330 Kate, Kate. 840 00:53:28,748 --> 00:53:31,583 - Oh, no, hey, ok. - Can you watch her? 841 00:53:36,005 --> 00:53:40,259 J“there is a fire in the corner slowly dying j“ 842 00:53:45,890 --> 00:53:51,312 J“ I've seen a lot of sunshine I've stepped out in the rain j“ 843 00:53:51,813 --> 00:53:55,066 j“ then it's night or two out on my own j“ 844 00:53:55,775 --> 00:53:58,277 j“ so lovely j“ 845 00:53:59,862 --> 00:54:02,072 J“ sunshine j“ 846 00:54:02,073 --> 00:54:06,994 j“ nearly always makes me high j“ 847 00:54:14,585 --> 00:54:15,585 J'lfl... j' 848 00:54:15,753 --> 00:54:17,004 hi, mommy! 849 00:54:17,171 --> 00:54:20,465 J“ ...Song I could sing j“ 850 00:54:39,026 --> 00:54:44,365 J“ sunshine all the while j“ 851 00:55:07,346 --> 00:55:08,973 Shut up! 852 00:55:09,891 --> 00:55:12,643 How can you sing when I'm throwing up? 853 00:55:13,603 --> 00:55:15,646 How can you throw up when I'm singing? 854 00:55:17,023 --> 00:55:20,276 I can't help it. It's the pills. You know that. 855 00:55:21,110 --> 00:55:24,321 Well, the christians always used to sing before they were thrown to the lions. 856 00:55:24,322 --> 00:55:27,742 You know. It seemed like a good thing to do, in the face of adversity. 857 00:55:28,284 --> 00:55:29,619 Adversity, oh, wow. 858 00:55:29,786 --> 00:55:33,663 Well, well, you're laughing. That's better than before. 859 00:55:33,664 --> 00:55:37,292 I can't keep my food down. I can't sleep. 860 00:55:37,293 --> 00:55:39,211 My hair is coming out in the handfuls 861 00:55:39,212 --> 00:55:41,881 and you want me to laugh at your sick jokes? 862 00:55:42,632 --> 00:55:44,300 I am a sick joke. 863 00:55:44,801 --> 00:55:47,260 - Then laugh at yourself. - I can't! 864 00:55:47,261 --> 00:55:48,720 It's better than crying. 865 00:55:48,721 --> 00:55:50,431 I'm not crying! 866 00:55:58,231 --> 00:56:00,565 They can't even find a vein that's any good any more 867 00:56:00,566 --> 00:56:02,860 to put the damn shots in! 868 00:56:03,402 --> 00:56:05,320 They're going to have to put it in my temple next time. 869 00:56:05,321 --> 00:56:07,573 Oh, it's a riot. It's a laugh a minute. 870 00:56:08,282 --> 00:56:10,368 I suppose you've just left Jill. 871 00:56:12,495 --> 00:56:13,662 Jill, what are you doing? 872 00:56:13,663 --> 00:56:15,206 Hi, mommy. 873 00:56:15,748 --> 00:56:18,626 Bad girl! Bad girl! 874 00:56:20,753 --> 00:56:23,089 Bad girl! You're a bad girl! 875 00:56:23,256 --> 00:56:25,591 No, Sam. 876 00:56:31,472 --> 00:56:32,890 Ow. No! 877 00:56:33,808 --> 00:56:34,934 Daddy. 878 00:56:37,395 --> 00:56:38,729 Daddy. 879 00:56:42,191 --> 00:56:43,526 - Sam... - I gotta go get Jill. 880 00:56:43,776 --> 00:56:45,735 - Talk to me. - In a minute. 881 00:56:45,736 --> 00:56:47,096 - Sam... - In a minute. 882 00:56:47,530 --> 00:56:51,075 Come on, come on, come on. 883 00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:57,832 - I'm sorry. - Yeah. 884 00:56:59,083 --> 00:57:03,212 Well, why don't we all go to the park or something? 885 00:57:04,297 --> 00:57:05,715 It's gonna rain. 886 00:57:06,340 --> 00:57:08,633 It's warm outside. The sun is shining. 887 00:57:10,303 --> 00:57:11,303 Jill? 888 00:57:11,512 --> 00:57:13,139 Come give mommy a kiss. 889 00:57:13,598 --> 00:57:14,598 No! 890 00:57:19,395 --> 00:57:21,272 Kate, will you come on, please? 891 00:57:23,941 --> 00:57:27,444 - I'm not going to that stupid park. - Kate, please. 892 00:57:27,445 --> 00:57:29,654 I'm not going to compete with you for my baby. 893 00:57:29,655 --> 00:57:31,157 Nobody's competing. 894 00:57:33,451 --> 00:57:36,287 She's mine, Sam. Remember? 895 00:57:36,954 --> 00:57:39,623 You're stealing her from me. 896 00:57:39,624 --> 00:57:41,833 She's the only thing in the world that's altogether mine. 897 00:57:41,834 --> 00:57:43,710 I know what you're doing. 898 00:57:43,711 --> 00:57:44,711 I know what I'm doing, too. 899 00:57:44,712 --> 00:57:46,838 I'm taking care of another man's kid 24 hours a day. 900 00:57:46,839 --> 00:57:48,089 That's what I'm doing. 901 00:57:48,090 --> 00:57:49,215 You're teaching her to hate me 902 00:57:49,216 --> 00:57:50,759 - ok, mom? - So that when I die... 903 00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:53,136 - Yes. - She won't be so much trouble. 904 00:57:53,137 --> 00:57:58,059 You can marryjust any old broad. Any old broad'll be better than mommy! 905 00:58:26,003 --> 00:58:28,254 I've already made my decision. 906 00:58:28,255 --> 00:58:30,006 I'm not going to therapy any more. 907 00:58:30,007 --> 00:58:32,759 I hate it. You're just wasting your breath. 908 00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:36,805 If you don't exercise that leg every day, you're going to lose the use of it. 909 00:58:36,806 --> 00:58:40,142 The radiation weakens the muscles along with the cancer. 910 00:58:40,434 --> 00:58:42,644 - Between treatments you've got to be... - It hurts. 911 00:58:42,645 --> 00:58:44,187 Of course it hurts. 912 00:58:44,188 --> 00:58:46,189 If it hurts too much, take the pain pills. 913 00:58:46,190 --> 00:58:49,567 I don't want to take the pain pills any more. They mess up my head. 914 00:58:49,568 --> 00:58:52,154 Do you want the use of your leg, Kate? 915 00:58:52,822 --> 00:58:54,573 I don't even want to live. 916 00:59:08,796 --> 00:59:12,882 Oh, you should find yourself a man and have about 200 children. 917 00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:15,428 You'd be world's greatest mother. 918 00:59:16,345 --> 00:59:17,721 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 919 00:59:17,722 --> 00:59:20,807 I have 350 kids right here. 920 00:59:20,808 --> 00:59:23,393 - And you're my oldest. - And most difficult. 921 00:59:23,394 --> 00:59:25,354 - I know. - Right now. Right now. 922 00:59:29,358 --> 00:59:30,609 I'll give you Jill. 923 00:59:32,111 --> 00:59:33,278 You're kidding. 924 00:59:33,279 --> 00:59:34,572 No, I'm not. 925 00:59:35,573 --> 00:59:37,158 Take me off everything. 926 00:59:37,908 --> 00:59:42,496 The pain pills, the cancer pills, the shots. 927 00:59:42,913 --> 00:59:46,916 The radiation, take me off everything. 928 00:59:46,917 --> 00:59:49,253 Or take my child. 929 00:59:53,090 --> 00:59:57,677 I could go do it, maybe, if it didn't mean throwing up three times a day 930 00:59:57,678 --> 01:00:01,098 or flushing my hair down the toilet. 931 01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:05,352 But I can't go on doing what I'm doing to Sam and Jill. 932 01:00:05,686 --> 01:00:08,314 It'll get better, really. 933 01:00:08,773 --> 01:00:11,775 Your system is going to get used to it. 934 01:00:11,776 --> 01:00:13,985 Sam understands. 935 01:00:13,986 --> 01:00:14,987 Jill doesn't. 936 01:00:15,821 --> 01:00:16,947 Jill can't. 937 01:00:17,740 --> 01:00:20,826 - All she knows is that her mother... - Excuse me. Yes. I'm busy. 938 01:00:21,952 --> 01:00:23,788 Can you have them call me back. Yes. 939 01:00:24,497 --> 01:00:28,084 All she knows is that her mother is screaming at her 25 hours a day. 940 01:00:28,876 --> 01:00:30,419 She never used to cry. 941 01:00:31,253 --> 01:00:33,464 Now she cries all the time. 942 01:00:36,383 --> 01:00:38,301 She cries in her sleep. 943 01:00:38,302 --> 01:00:40,012 She cries when she wakes up. 944 01:00:40,304 --> 01:00:42,722 She chews her fingernails. She has nightmares. 945 01:00:42,723 --> 01:00:46,268 And when I come in to see her in the middle of the night, she screams. 946 01:00:46,602 --> 01:00:49,479 All I ever really wanted to do was have a child. 947 01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:52,358 A girl. And raise her the way I should have been raised. 948 01:00:54,485 --> 01:00:56,903 With nothing but love and freedom. 949 01:00:56,904 --> 01:01:01,408 No shoes. No clothes. No puritan ethic. 950 01:01:01,617 --> 01:01:03,327 No anger. 951 01:01:04,078 --> 01:01:05,621 No rules. 952 01:01:06,831 --> 01:01:08,457 So that she could... 953 01:01:08,833 --> 01:01:11,167 Be open to the sun and the snow 954 01:01:11,168 --> 01:01:13,920 and the mountains and the rain and just know how to love 955 01:01:13,921 --> 01:01:16,799 and it's awful hard when you've never been loved. 956 01:01:19,218 --> 01:01:23,054 When all you've... when all you've known is people scream at you 957 01:01:23,055 --> 01:01:24,473 and... 958 01:01:25,391 --> 01:01:27,101 Tell you how bad you are. 959 01:01:31,313 --> 01:01:32,731 Don't just sit there. 960 01:01:36,235 --> 01:01:37,755 Why don't you write some of that down? 961 01:01:37,945 --> 01:01:40,655 - Some of what? - What you just said. 962 01:01:40,656 --> 01:01:41,907 And more. 963 01:01:42,908 --> 01:01:44,827 You could write Jill letters. 964 01:01:45,870 --> 01:01:51,124 You know, tell her things... That you would while she was growing up. 965 01:01:51,125 --> 01:01:53,043 - Oh, sure. - No, really. 966 01:01:53,669 --> 01:01:55,087 Really. 967 01:01:55,838 --> 01:01:58,424 You could anticipate her questions. 968 01:01:59,133 --> 01:02:01,009 You know? Um... 969 01:02:01,010 --> 01:02:04,012 What she was going to ask you about when she was six. 970 01:02:04,013 --> 01:02:05,973 Things that you'd be telling her then. 971 01:02:06,557 --> 01:02:10,059 Nothing. You already now everything when you're six. 972 01:02:11,478 --> 01:02:14,355 How about when you're ten or sixteen? 973 01:02:14,356 --> 01:02:15,565 I don't know. 974 01:02:15,566 --> 01:02:16,901 Well, sure you do. 975 01:02:17,610 --> 01:02:19,277 Let's see... 976 01:02:19,278 --> 01:02:21,154 Um, what about pimples? 977 01:02:21,155 --> 01:02:23,990 Ok. There you go. There's one. 978 01:02:23,991 --> 01:02:26,492 - You know about pimples, right? - Yeah, I know about that. 979 01:02:26,493 --> 01:02:29,455 Ok and let's see, what else could you tell her about? 980 01:02:29,705 --> 01:02:31,080 Boys? 981 01:02:31,081 --> 01:02:33,333 Yes, you could tell her about boys and things you like, 982 01:02:33,334 --> 01:02:37,630 like trees and grass and mountains, rain. 983 01:02:38,130 --> 01:02:41,007 The seasons. Constancy. 984 01:02:41,008 --> 01:02:43,718 Oh, there's so many. You can tell her about love. 985 01:02:43,719 --> 01:02:45,888 - Why? - So she'd know you. 986 01:02:46,430 --> 01:02:49,308 And who you were and how you feel about her. 987 01:02:52,311 --> 01:02:53,604 I can't type. 988 01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:56,731 - Well, then tape it. - What am I supposed to buy 989 01:02:56,732 --> 01:02:58,816 a tape recorder with? Food stamps? 990 01:02:58,817 --> 01:03:01,445 No, I can do better for you than that. 991 01:03:07,326 --> 01:03:09,828 Well, you certainly know how to change the subject. 992 01:03:11,163 --> 01:03:13,373 Well, you've got a life to get through. 993 01:03:13,374 --> 01:03:14,875 As well as a death. 994 01:03:15,751 --> 01:03:17,962 And I can't do it taking drugs. 995 01:03:20,965 --> 01:03:22,800 Let me get the tapes for that. 996 01:03:27,096 --> 01:03:28,389 Now, look, Kate. 997 01:03:29,306 --> 01:03:31,141 We do have another drug. 998 01:03:31,517 --> 01:03:33,268 It's still in experimental stages. 999 01:03:33,269 --> 01:03:35,645 I just want to stop taking what I'm taking now. 1000 01:03:35,646 --> 01:03:36,897 I know. 1001 01:03:37,314 --> 01:03:40,733 It's been quite successful in preventing secondary cancers in animals. 1002 01:03:40,734 --> 01:03:42,735 The experiments have been running for two years. 1003 01:03:42,736 --> 01:03:43,945 - But they're not finished. - Two years? 1004 01:03:43,946 --> 01:03:46,114 - Is it a depressant? - No. 1005 01:03:46,115 --> 01:03:49,075 - Does it make you throw up? - It doesn't make monkeys throw up. 1006 01:03:49,076 --> 01:03:51,244 - Fantastic. - Now wait just a minute. 1007 01:03:51,245 --> 01:03:53,913 Quite successful means seventy percent. 1008 01:03:53,914 --> 01:03:56,332 Thirty percent of the animals have already died. 1009 01:03:56,333 --> 01:03:58,960 - It's no miracle, Kate. - 70% is more than half a chance. 1010 01:03:58,961 --> 01:04:01,587 It's simply a substitute for what you're on now. 1011 01:04:01,588 --> 01:04:04,674 One that might not give you as much trouble, that's all. 1012 01:04:04,675 --> 01:04:07,802 It's... it's experimental. It could give you more trouble. 1013 01:04:07,803 --> 01:04:09,721 It's a long long shot. There are no guarantees. 1014 01:04:09,722 --> 01:04:11,556 I don't want... I don't want any guarantees. 1015 01:04:11,557 --> 01:04:14,559 Whose to say you won't get run over by a truck on the way to kindergarten. 1016 01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:17,145 Or have a man Sam or have a kid like Jill. 1017 01:04:17,146 --> 01:04:18,521 I don't want any guarantees. 1018 01:04:18,522 --> 01:04:21,482 When I said two years, that doesn't mean... Kate, listen to me. 1019 01:04:21,483 --> 01:04:24,527 - It doesn't mean that... - I don't want any guarantees! 1020 01:04:24,528 --> 01:04:27,697 Two years! I was born lucky. 1021 01:04:27,698 --> 01:04:29,991 I can write war and peace in two years. 1022 01:04:29,992 --> 01:04:34,203 Jill'll be four in two years! I can remember when I was four. 1023 01:04:34,204 --> 01:04:36,664 I went to the zoo! 1024 01:04:36,665 --> 01:04:39,375 Kate, please listen to me. Now, I have more to say. Now, wait. 1025 01:04:39,376 --> 01:04:40,836 Kate, you have to let me finish. 1026 01:04:41,587 --> 01:04:43,047 Sam? 1027 01:04:59,313 --> 01:05:01,357 Sam, are you here? 1028 01:05:08,614 --> 01:05:09,614 Uh... 1029 01:05:09,615 --> 01:05:12,034 Hello, tape recorder, can you hear me? 1030 01:05:13,369 --> 01:05:14,411 Come on. 1031 01:05:16,038 --> 01:05:19,708 Hello, doctor Gillman. Hello, Jill. 1032 01:05:20,667 --> 01:05:22,336 Hello, world! 1033 01:05:25,964 --> 01:05:27,424 I love you. 1034 01:05:34,014 --> 01:05:37,810 Hello, doctor Gillman. Hello, Jill. 1035 01:05:38,352 --> 01:05:40,687 Hello, world! 1036 01:05:42,272 --> 01:05:43,399 Oh... 1037 01:05:43,816 --> 01:05:45,359 I love you. 1038 01:05:53,325 --> 01:05:54,785 Sam! 1039 01:05:55,452 --> 01:05:57,579 Somebody! 1040 01:06:07,798 --> 01:06:10,217 I have so many things to write about. 1041 01:06:12,803 --> 01:06:17,099 And so many things to say to someone to someone who'll listen, 1042 01:06:19,435 --> 01:06:21,603 I don't know where to begin. 1043 01:06:22,729 --> 01:06:27,316 J“ a c, back to g, g again j“ 1044 01:06:27,317 --> 01:06:30,070 j“ with an f sharp bass to e minor j“ 1045 01:06:30,362 --> 01:06:32,488 j“ c again j“ 1046 01:06:32,489 --> 01:06:34,240 - Sam! - Huh? 1047 01:06:34,241 --> 01:06:35,993 Where's my tape recorder? 1048 01:06:36,785 --> 01:06:39,538 It's right here, on the... On the rocking chair. 1049 01:06:40,205 --> 01:06:44,334 It's absolutely freaky having a thing for a machine but I really love it. 1050 01:06:44,585 --> 01:06:46,919 Anything that makes you as happy as you've been the last couple of weeks, 1051 01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:48,713 can't be all that bad, Kate. 1052 01:06:48,714 --> 01:06:50,298 Even if it is a machine. 1053 01:06:50,299 --> 01:06:52,341 Oh, it's a trip. Definitely a trip. 1054 01:06:52,342 --> 01:06:54,553 Yeah, an ego trip is what it is. 1055 01:06:55,095 --> 01:06:56,847 Ego-shmeego, man. 1056 01:06:57,431 --> 01:07:00,267 Anything that satisfies you is an ego trip. 1057 01:07:00,601 --> 01:07:01,809 Even dying. 1058 01:07:01,810 --> 01:07:04,187 - Oh, that's funny. - Oh, Weaver, sit on it. 1059 01:07:04,188 --> 01:07:05,730 Thanks a lot, cuz. 1060 01:07:05,731 --> 01:07:09,484 - Hey, Sam? Sam? Can we please rehearse? - Hey, who invited him? 1061 01:07:09,485 --> 01:07:11,986 - Let them clean up. - Sam, go on, now. I'll do the dishes. 1062 01:07:11,987 --> 01:07:14,323 Go on, now. 1063 01:07:29,087 --> 01:07:30,087 No! 1064 01:07:32,966 --> 01:07:35,177 J“ ...Sorrow in your eyes j“ 1065 01:07:35,552 --> 01:07:39,096 j“ the stars are changing quietly j“ 1066 01:07:39,097 --> 01:07:41,682 j“ the night is nearly gone j“ 1067 01:07:41,683 --> 01:07:42,683 Kate. 1068 01:07:43,936 --> 01:07:46,063 We got company, Sam. Let's talk about it later. 1069 01:07:49,733 --> 01:07:51,776 You're not taking your pills. 1070 01:07:51,777 --> 01:07:54,362 They make me just as sick as the other ones. 1071 01:07:54,363 --> 01:07:56,864 So, how many did you take? You didn't give your body a chance to get used to 'em. 1072 01:07:56,865 --> 01:07:58,616 - What did you take? Two or three? - Ten! 1073 01:07:58,617 --> 01:08:00,409 - Ten? - Ten days. 1074 01:08:01,329 --> 01:08:03,162 - That ought to be enough. - She didn't give the other pills 1075 01:08:03,163 --> 01:08:04,664 - a chance to work. - They made me dizzy 1076 01:08:04,665 --> 01:08:06,582 on top of everything else, Sam! 1077 01:08:06,583 --> 01:08:09,043 Dizzy? What does dizzy got to do with it? 1078 01:08:09,044 --> 01:08:11,672 I can't take care of Jill. I can't think. I fall down. 1079 01:08:13,048 --> 01:08:15,174 I can't work on the book. 1080 01:08:15,175 --> 01:08:18,469 That book! That book's more important to you than living? 1081 01:08:26,895 --> 01:08:27,895 Sam. 1082 01:08:28,146 --> 01:08:30,147 Now, look, if it's right for Kate, it's right. 1083 01:08:30,148 --> 01:08:33,109 You know, it's really not up to you or me or even her doctor 1084 01:08:33,110 --> 01:08:35,236 to tell her how to live her life. 1085 01:08:35,237 --> 01:08:37,572 If it's right for Kate, it's right. 1086 01:08:37,573 --> 01:08:38,864 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 1087 01:08:38,865 --> 01:08:40,826 Yeah, what about me and Jill? 1088 01:08:44,496 --> 01:08:47,957 No. She's not taking the pills, she's not taking anything. 1089 01:08:47,958 --> 01:08:51,420 She doesn't even want to come in for the radiation treatments any more. 1090 01:08:53,755 --> 01:08:56,674 Yeah, no, yeah, man, I know the consequences! 1091 01:08:56,675 --> 01:08:57,801 I'm the one... 1092 01:09:01,471 --> 01:09:02,471 Yes. 1093 01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:06,852 Yes. She knows. We've talked. 1094 01:09:07,144 --> 01:09:10,187 We've talked and talked until I'm talked out. 1095 01:09:10,188 --> 01:09:12,940 So, you see, I'm turning it all over to you, now. 1096 01:09:12,941 --> 01:09:14,276 And... 1097 01:09:14,776 --> 01:09:15,776 Yeah. 1098 01:09:17,946 --> 01:09:22,034 You've gotta have time, you're the one who gave her the damn machine... 1099 01:09:29,333 --> 01:09:31,042 Listen, they've got to give you five minutes 1100 01:09:31,043 --> 01:09:33,085 sometime during the day for lunch, right? 1101 01:09:33,086 --> 01:09:36,131 So, just come on over. We'll split a can of spam or something. 1102 01:09:36,673 --> 01:09:38,674 When I started the book, 1103 01:09:38,675 --> 01:09:42,219 I realized that the length of your life 1104 01:09:42,220 --> 01:09:44,555 doesn't make the slightest bit of difference. 1105 01:09:44,556 --> 01:09:47,017 It's the quality, not the quantity. 1106 01:09:47,643 --> 01:09:49,602 Well, maybe with your drugs 1107 01:09:49,603 --> 01:09:52,397 I'll be able to live until I'm 360. 1108 01:09:53,857 --> 01:09:57,985 And maybe without them, ok, I'll die... sooner. 1109 01:09:57,986 --> 01:10:00,071 Like, tomorrow maybe. 1110 01:10:00,072 --> 01:10:03,742 A couple of months maybe. Enough time to leave a little book... 1111 01:10:04,534 --> 01:10:08,162 A part of myself for Jill. Even for Mr. Grouch face. 1112 01:10:08,163 --> 01:10:10,832 - Here's the little treat I promised you. - Thank you, Sam. 1113 01:10:11,208 --> 01:10:14,210 - The decision is up to you, Kate. - The decision is not up to her. 1114 01:10:14,211 --> 01:10:15,503 She's into playing Camille. 1115 01:10:15,504 --> 01:10:16,463 - I'm not. - Can't you see that? 1116 01:10:16,464 --> 01:10:18,172 I just know the kind of life I wanna live. 1117 01:10:18,173 --> 01:10:20,466 Yeah, without any regard for anybody else. 1118 01:10:20,467 --> 01:10:22,385 What do you mean, "without any regard for anybody else"? 1119 01:10:22,386 --> 01:10:24,970 Kate, there has to be an understanding that if you give up the drugs 1120 01:10:24,971 --> 01:10:26,722 and if you give up the radiation treatment 1121 01:10:26,723 --> 01:10:29,184 you will have absolutely no chance of stopping cancer. 1122 01:10:29,685 --> 01:10:31,352 And it grows very fast. 1123 01:10:31,353 --> 01:10:33,354 How fast is very fast? 1124 01:10:33,355 --> 01:10:36,774 How fast is fast? That's not the point. How can you ask that? 1125 01:10:36,775 --> 01:10:38,651 Didn't you hear her what she said? 1126 01:10:38,652 --> 01:10:40,820 With medication, you have a chance to live. 1127 01:10:40,821 --> 01:10:46,242 A chance. A ten to twenty percent chance to live for five years as a vegetable. 1128 01:10:46,243 --> 01:10:48,787 I want you to live! Jill wants you to live! 1129 01:10:49,287 --> 01:10:51,122 I can't live on medication, Sam. 1130 01:10:51,123 --> 01:10:52,707 That's what I'm trying to say. 1131 01:10:52,708 --> 01:10:55,501 So, they're going to find a cure for cancer, right? 1132 01:10:55,502 --> 01:10:59,964 I mean, thirty years ago you died of diphtheria, pneumonia and polio. 1133 01:10:59,965 --> 01:11:00,965 Today it's cancer. 1134 01:11:01,049 --> 01:11:03,468 They're going to find a cure for cancer any day now. 1135 01:11:04,428 --> 01:11:07,097 In zero to five years? 1136 01:11:07,681 --> 01:11:08,682 It's possible. 1137 01:11:09,349 --> 01:11:11,268 But the odds? 1138 01:11:13,019 --> 01:11:15,187 I can't take that gamble. 1139 01:11:15,188 --> 01:11:18,149 - You have to take that gamble. - And die after five years 1140 01:11:18,150 --> 01:11:21,527 after I've made everybody miserable including myself. 1141 01:11:21,528 --> 01:11:23,405 What for, Sam? 1142 01:11:26,366 --> 01:11:28,743 How fast will it spread if I don't take the medication? 1143 01:11:28,744 --> 01:11:31,079 It's impossible for me to predict that. 1144 01:11:31,788 --> 01:11:33,665 Well, I won't die tomorrow, will I? 1145 01:11:34,541 --> 01:11:37,960 I mean, I'll have some time before it gets to my lungs. 1146 01:11:37,961 --> 01:11:40,881 And then some time again before it kills me. 1147 01:11:41,548 --> 01:11:43,216 And up until then... 1148 01:11:44,968 --> 01:11:47,928 I'm not going to feel much worse than I feel now, am I? 1149 01:11:47,929 --> 01:11:50,347 You'll feel much worse at the end. 1150 01:11:50,348 --> 01:11:52,600 But until then... 1151 01:11:52,601 --> 01:11:54,853 Weaker, perhaps, but not perceptibly. 1152 01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:56,646 See? 1153 01:11:56,938 --> 01:11:58,690 That's enough time. 1154 01:11:59,232 --> 01:12:00,442 Enough time? 1155 01:12:00,942 --> 01:12:04,487 Enough time? Enough time for what? To be a wife? To be a mother? 1156 01:12:04,488 --> 01:12:08,657 To... to see the world? To experience everything there is to experience? 1157 01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:09,784 - "Enough time"? - Sam. 1158 01:12:09,785 --> 01:12:12,119 Sixty years isn't enough time for me! 1159 01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:13,955 Yes, but you don't have a tape recorder. 1160 01:12:15,874 --> 01:12:18,167 I don't... I don't believe any of this! 1161 01:12:18,168 --> 01:12:19,168 Sam. 1162 01:12:19,836 --> 01:12:23,048 It's not quite as out and dried as you make it out to be. 1163 01:12:24,883 --> 01:12:27,885 Without medication, she will certainly die. 1164 01:12:27,886 --> 01:12:30,180 And within a short period of time. 1165 01:12:30,555 --> 01:12:34,059 With medication she will most likely, also die. 1166 01:12:34,518 --> 01:12:36,310 But not quite as soon. 1167 01:12:36,311 --> 01:12:38,104 Osteogenic sarcoma is very rare, 1168 01:12:38,772 --> 01:12:41,316 and we don't have much of a chance to work with it. 1169 01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:42,817 And very deadly. 1170 01:12:42,818 --> 01:12:45,946 So whenever we do have a case, we just don't have much time. 1171 01:12:46,279 --> 01:12:48,447 - Yeah, well... - Sam, listen to me. 1172 01:12:48,448 --> 01:12:51,116 And some people react so adversely to medication, 1173 01:12:51,117 --> 01:12:54,829 that the difference between dying soon and dying sooner, 1174 01:12:54,830 --> 01:12:56,163 has no meaning to them. 1175 01:12:56,164 --> 01:12:59,375 - Well, in my opinion... no, you wait... - Just a minute. Just a minute. 1176 01:12:59,376 --> 01:13:01,877 Perhaps it's better to die with purpose 1177 01:13:01,878 --> 01:13:04,422 and dignity, even if it's sooner. 1178 01:13:08,260 --> 01:13:09,803 Well... 1179 01:13:10,262 --> 01:13:14,349 In my opinion, you are committing suicide. 1180 01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,227 And you are a murderer. 1181 01:13:23,483 --> 01:13:25,568 He loves dramatic exits. 1182 01:13:25,569 --> 01:13:27,404 Does he do it often? Will he be back? 1183 01:13:28,238 --> 01:13:29,238 Does it matter? 1184 01:13:36,663 --> 01:13:39,749 Feeling sorry for myself. 1185 01:13:40,834 --> 01:13:42,460 I like to, sometimes. 1186 01:13:42,669 --> 01:13:45,171 Like right now, because I'm alone. 1187 01:13:45,338 --> 01:13:47,215 Because I'm dying. 1188 01:13:47,507 --> 01:13:49,426 I like being a martyr. 1189 01:13:49,634 --> 01:13:52,220 At least it gives me something to be. 1190 01:13:54,723 --> 01:13:56,516 I love you, mommy. 1191 01:13:59,978 --> 01:14:03,899 J“ there's a fire in the corner slowly dying j“ 1192 01:14:04,316 --> 01:14:08,402 j“ sometimes I just don't feel like goin' on j“ 1193 01:14:08,403 --> 01:14:12,615 j“ and yet I know it's more than worth the waiting j“ 1194 01:14:12,616 --> 01:14:15,826 j“ for another chance to see the summer sun j“ 1195 01:14:15,827 --> 01:14:17,829 j“ come on shine on me j“ 1196 01:14:18,747 --> 01:14:19,915 yee-haw! 1197 01:14:24,419 --> 01:14:28,590 J“ there's a fire in the corner slowly dying j“ 1198 01:14:28,965 --> 01:14:33,385 j“ sometimes I just don't feel like goin' on j“ 1199 01:14:33,386 --> 01:14:37,056 j“ and yet I know it's more than worth the waiting j“ 1200 01:14:37,057 --> 01:14:40,726 j“ for another chance to see the summer sun j“ 1201 01:14:40,727 --> 01:14:46,607 j“ come on shine on me j“ 1202 01:14:46,608 --> 01:14:48,943 Ok, we have to decide. 1203 01:14:48,944 --> 01:14:51,028 - If we're gonna "yee-haw"... - The "bop-bop-do"... 1204 01:14:52,948 --> 01:14:55,492 Doesn't anybody answer the phone in this place? 1205 01:14:58,453 --> 01:14:59,453 Yeah? 1206 01:15:04,709 --> 01:15:05,919 Uh... 1207 01:15:06,670 --> 01:15:08,546 You going to take the pills or not? 1208 01:15:10,215 --> 01:15:13,385 That's not... that's not the question. Just answer the question. 1209 01:15:18,556 --> 01:15:22,727 No, if you take the pills, I come back. It's as simple as that. It's easy. 1210 01:15:26,147 --> 01:15:28,899 Oh, come no now, I don't want to hear any more of this garbage, Kate. 1211 01:15:28,900 --> 01:15:30,694 Just, will you or won't you, right? 1212 01:15:31,403 --> 01:15:33,154 Right. Ok. Bye. 1213 01:15:34,489 --> 01:15:35,448 Who was that? 1214 01:15:35,449 --> 01:15:36,825 Wrong number. 1215 01:15:41,329 --> 01:15:42,913 I'll put the rest of these up for you, doctor. 1216 01:15:42,914 --> 01:15:44,082 Thank you, Mary. 1217 01:15:48,086 --> 01:15:49,086 How's Jill? 1218 01:15:49,295 --> 01:15:50,295 Thriving. 1219 01:15:50,964 --> 01:15:51,964 Good. 1220 01:15:54,467 --> 01:15:56,678 Oh, I've got some thing for you. 1221 01:15:57,220 --> 01:15:58,846 I thought you weren't going to give me these these 1222 01:15:58,847 --> 01:16:01,766 - unless I went to therapy. - No, I wouldn't do that to you. 1223 01:16:09,733 --> 01:16:10,859 It looks worse. 1224 01:16:12,235 --> 01:16:13,987 Yes, doctor, it does. 1225 01:16:15,697 --> 01:16:17,990 But the chest x—ray was negative. 1226 01:16:17,991 --> 01:16:19,950 - It hasn't spread to my lungs. - That's correct. 1227 01:16:19,951 --> 01:16:24,247 So the fact that the knee's worse isn't really significant, is it? 1228 01:16:25,123 --> 01:16:27,167 Who are we kidding, me or you? 1229 01:16:28,376 --> 01:16:30,628 It was worth a try. 1230 01:16:32,380 --> 01:16:35,299 Where is Sam keeping himself these days or don't you know? 1231 01:16:35,300 --> 01:16:36,967 Sure I know. 1232 01:16:36,968 --> 01:16:38,927 He's been staying in a place called o'brien's 1233 01:16:38,928 --> 01:16:42,056 - on western and 66th. - Mmm. 1234 01:16:42,057 --> 01:16:45,185 - But don't waste your time. - Let me take a look at that knee. 1235 01:16:47,479 --> 01:16:50,482 It's so ugly. I should have had it cut off. 1236 01:16:51,483 --> 01:16:52,983 You miss Sam much? 1237 01:16:52,984 --> 01:16:54,444 Jill does. 1238 01:16:55,528 --> 01:16:56,780 What about you? 1239 01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:01,493 Yeah. 1240 01:17:02,702 --> 01:17:04,912 What days does Sam work at o'brien's? 1241 01:17:04,913 --> 01:17:06,747 Work? He doesn't work there. 1242 01:17:06,748 --> 01:17:08,791 He just goes to practice there during the day. 1243 01:17:08,792 --> 01:17:11,919 - But like I said, don't waste your time. - Of course not. 1244 01:17:11,920 --> 01:17:14,421 J“ to go a little while j“ 1245 01:17:14,422 --> 01:17:18,718 j“ and it's goodbye again j“ 1246 01:17:19,344 --> 01:17:22,763 j“ I'm sorry to be leavin' you j“ 1247 01:17:22,764 --> 01:17:26,142 j“ but goodbye again j“ 1248 01:17:27,519 --> 01:17:29,896 j“ as if you didn't know j“ 1249 01:17:30,188 --> 01:17:33,733 j“ it's goodbye again j“ 1250 01:17:34,692 --> 01:17:38,113 j“and I wish that you could tell me j“ 1251 01:17:38,780 --> 01:17:41,490 j“ why do we always fight j“ 1252 01:17:41,491 --> 01:17:45,620 j“ when I have to go j“ 1253 01:17:52,794 --> 01:17:54,670 - It's very good. - Hi, doc. 1254 01:17:54,671 --> 01:17:57,965 Well, well, well. If isn't Marcus welby in drag. 1255 01:18:00,510 --> 01:18:02,262 Sam? Could I talk to you a minute? 1256 01:18:02,762 --> 01:18:03,762 No. 1257 01:18:04,222 --> 01:18:05,848 - You're not gonna talk to her? - No, we're rehearsing. 1258 01:18:05,849 --> 01:18:07,724 That's what's happening right now. 1259 01:18:07,725 --> 01:18:09,727 - Right? Ok. - Not gonna talk to her? 1260 01:18:10,019 --> 01:18:11,353 Are you afraid? 1261 01:18:11,354 --> 01:18:14,523 There'sjust nothing I really want to talk to you about. That's all. 1262 01:18:14,524 --> 01:18:15,524 I see. 1263 01:18:17,443 --> 01:18:19,069 Well, then you're going to have to bear with me. 1264 01:18:19,070 --> 01:18:21,906 'Cause there's a few things I want to talk to you about. 1265 01:18:22,323 --> 01:18:27,161 Your wife. Your responsibilities. Your humanity. Or your lack of it. 1266 01:18:27,162 --> 01:18:29,121 You're letting her kill herself 1267 01:18:29,122 --> 01:18:32,124 and you're talking to me about my lack of humanity? 1268 01:18:32,125 --> 01:18:34,960 Why did you marry her? You knew she had cancer. 1269 01:18:34,961 --> 01:18:37,629 - Why did you marry her? - He's a little stupid. 1270 01:18:37,630 --> 01:18:38,673 This is your business? 1271 01:18:39,007 --> 01:18:41,384 - I loved her. - Well, don't you still love her? 1272 01:18:42,802 --> 01:18:45,888 I, well... I don't know. I really don't know. 1273 01:18:46,807 --> 01:18:49,183 No, no, he doesn't. And if we're all satisfied, 1274 01:18:49,184 --> 01:18:51,310 - we'd like to rehearse. - Why don't you stay out of this? 1275 01:18:51,311 --> 01:18:53,729 - Hey, let's go get some eats, huh? - I'm not hungry. 1276 01:18:53,730 --> 01:18:54,730 I'm hungry. 1277 01:18:55,356 --> 01:18:57,357 No, wait a minute. We're still rehearsing. Everything on stage... 1278 01:18:57,358 --> 01:18:59,359 - Sam! - Look, all I know is, 1279 01:18:59,360 --> 01:19:01,362 is that I can't watch her not fight. 1280 01:19:02,488 --> 01:19:03,697 I realize it's terminal. 1281 01:19:03,698 --> 01:19:06,743 I realize that it wouldn't do any good at all to fight. 1282 01:19:07,327 --> 01:19:08,869 - Would you... do you want some of this? - No. 1283 01:19:08,870 --> 01:19:12,624 But I want her to. I mean, I would. If it was me. 1284 01:19:13,124 --> 01:19:15,667 Yeah, well, it's not you. It's her. 1285 01:19:15,668 --> 01:19:17,461 She's dying her way. 1286 01:19:17,462 --> 01:19:19,588 - And she has a right. - But she's accepted it. 1287 01:19:19,589 --> 01:19:22,132 She's given up. And she wants my approval for that. 1288 01:19:22,133 --> 01:19:25,053 And I can't give it to her. I just can't hack that. 1289 01:19:32,101 --> 01:19:34,436 Wait and see how Ivy grows, Jill. 1290 01:19:34,437 --> 01:19:36,855 It grows really fast. 1291 01:19:36,856 --> 01:19:38,690 Let's put it over by the window, ok? 1292 01:19:38,691 --> 01:19:40,902 It's gonna get lots... lots of sunshine. 1293 01:19:43,363 --> 01:19:46,532 It'll be perfect. We can tie it with some string. 1294 01:19:48,201 --> 01:19:50,786 Right. We can tie it with some string, it'll frame the window 1295 01:19:50,787 --> 01:19:52,247 and it'll look really pretty. 1296 01:19:54,290 --> 01:19:55,250 Really leafy. 1297 01:19:55,251 --> 01:19:57,501 I'm wet, mommy. 1298 01:19:57,502 --> 01:19:58,670 Oh, my god, wet pants. 1299 01:19:59,754 --> 01:20:01,381 Get me some pants, ok? 1300 01:20:03,508 --> 01:20:05,718 I tried to write a poem for Jill today, 1301 01:20:06,469 --> 01:20:08,805 but all I could think of was sunshine. 1302 01:20:09,138 --> 01:20:11,224 Beautiful sunshine. 1303 01:20:12,016 --> 01:20:16,020 If I had a piano, I could play a lullaby for Jill. 1304 01:20:17,563 --> 01:20:18,689 A blues lullaby. 1305 01:20:18,690 --> 01:20:20,649 Hi, mom. It's Kate... 1306 01:20:20,650 --> 01:20:21,651 How are you? 1307 01:20:21,943 --> 01:20:25,571 People have been nice but there isn't anybody I can cry with. 1308 01:20:26,864 --> 01:20:29,575 Nobody to touch me. Nobody to say it's ok. 1309 01:20:30,034 --> 01:20:31,034 Is dad there? 1310 01:20:31,119 --> 01:20:33,871 Nobody to comfort me and listen to my self-pity. 1311 01:20:34,622 --> 01:20:37,292 I'm so tied up inside it hurts. 1312 01:20:40,295 --> 01:20:42,546 I wish my sister could come down. 1313 01:20:42,547 --> 01:20:45,008 You should see her. She's growing like a weed. 1314 01:20:46,634 --> 01:20:48,593 It's just that if I was a grandmother, 1315 01:20:48,594 --> 01:20:51,139 I'd take a little more interest in my grandchild. 1316 01:20:52,640 --> 01:20:55,059 No, I'm not criticizing, mom. 1317 01:20:57,103 --> 01:20:58,438 Sam's fine. 1318 01:20:59,147 --> 01:21:00,565 No, he's not here right now. 1319 01:21:02,066 --> 01:21:03,484 Why? 1320 01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:06,738 He's rehearsing, I suppose, I really don't know. 1321 01:21:07,613 --> 01:21:10,616 That's right, mom. I don't know exactly where he is. 1322 01:21:11,034 --> 01:21:13,119 Ok? Satisfied? 1323 01:21:16,831 --> 01:21:18,832 Just a couple of weeks. 1324 01:21:20,752 --> 01:21:23,587 He just... he just has a hard time, mom. 1325 01:21:23,588 --> 01:21:26,049 With my knee and all, not being able to get a job. 1326 01:21:29,260 --> 01:21:32,722 Mom, if you keep going on like this, I'm just going to hang up. 1327 01:21:34,307 --> 01:21:35,849 No, I don't need anything. 1328 01:21:35,850 --> 01:21:39,853 Yes, I do. I need pat. Will you please send her down here for a weekend? 1329 01:21:39,854 --> 01:21:41,938 What kind of trouble is she gonna get into, 1330 01:21:41,939 --> 01:21:44,525 helping me take care of Jill and clean up the house? 1331 01:21:46,986 --> 01:21:49,029 Never mind, mom. 1332 01:21:49,030 --> 01:21:52,866 It's been really great talking to you, I'd forgotten what a sweetheart you are. 1333 01:21:52,867 --> 01:21:55,036 Yeah. Now, I won't miss you any more. 1334 01:21:56,704 --> 01:21:57,997 Hey, tootie. 1335 01:22:08,257 --> 01:22:09,342 Who is it? 1336 01:22:10,468 --> 01:22:11,468 Bob Dylan. 1337 01:22:35,410 --> 01:22:36,410 Hi. 1338 01:22:37,286 --> 01:22:38,995 Making love to your tape recorder? 1339 01:22:38,996 --> 01:22:40,164 It's a nice alternative. 1340 01:22:41,082 --> 01:22:42,625 It doesn't get angry. 1341 01:22:43,292 --> 01:22:45,503 And it doesn't leave when things get sticky. 1342 01:22:46,963 --> 01:22:49,506 - It's not bullheaded. It's not stupid. - Wow. 1343 01:22:49,507 --> 01:22:53,094 I certainly hope that you'll both be very happy together. 1344 01:22:53,428 --> 01:22:56,888 This guy was hanging around o'brien's. 1345 01:22:56,889 --> 01:22:59,434 When the pound came, I told them he was yours. 1346 01:23:05,898 --> 01:23:08,443 - Came to get all yourjunk, uh? - Yep. 1347 01:23:12,488 --> 01:23:14,406 It's a weird time to move, isn't it? 1348 01:23:14,407 --> 01:23:15,992 Jill's asleep. 1349 01:23:16,909 --> 01:23:18,034 So it's easier. 1350 01:23:18,035 --> 01:23:19,454 A lot easier. 1351 01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:22,957 I'll shut up, too, if you want me to. 1352 01:23:23,583 --> 01:23:26,001 Doesn't make much difference one way or the other. 1353 01:23:26,002 --> 01:23:28,504 No. I'm immune to you. 1354 01:23:29,797 --> 01:23:31,048 What's the cat's name? 1355 01:23:31,674 --> 01:23:32,674 Gypsy. 1356 01:23:33,217 --> 01:23:35,302 Is that symbolic or something? 1357 01:23:35,303 --> 01:23:37,054 No, it's descriptive. 1358 01:23:38,848 --> 01:23:40,808 He likes me. He'll stay with me. 1359 01:23:41,392 --> 01:23:43,102 He's dumb. He might. 1360 01:23:43,811 --> 01:23:46,438 I miss you and all your snitty remarks. 1361 01:23:46,439 --> 01:23:48,191 Yes, and I miss you. 1362 01:23:48,900 --> 01:23:50,026 And your death wish. 1363 01:23:50,401 --> 01:23:52,652 - It's gone. - Sure. Sure. 1364 01:23:52,653 --> 01:23:54,655 No, really. It really is. It's gone. 1365 01:23:58,034 --> 01:23:59,534 You gonna take the drugs? 1366 01:23:59,535 --> 01:24:00,953 Let's go to the mountains. 1367 01:24:02,413 --> 01:24:03,789 You and me and Jill. 1368 01:24:04,415 --> 01:24:06,209 It's really nice up there now. 1369 01:24:08,294 --> 01:24:10,171 I miss talking to you. 1370 01:24:12,798 --> 01:24:14,550 I miss making love to you, too. 1371 01:24:16,552 --> 01:24:18,637 But what about the cancer, Kate? 1372 01:24:18,638 --> 01:24:21,389 Come on. What're we gonna do about the cancer? 1373 01:24:21,390 --> 01:24:22,683 Live with it. 1374 01:24:24,352 --> 01:24:25,644 No. 1375 01:24:25,645 --> 01:24:29,356 You're asking me to watch you die, baby. I can't do that. 1376 01:24:29,357 --> 01:24:30,566 I need you. 1377 01:24:31,651 --> 01:24:32,902 I'm begging you. 1378 01:24:37,031 --> 01:24:38,740 I'm not asking you to die with me, 1379 01:24:38,741 --> 01:24:40,492 I'm not asking you to stay to the very end. 1380 01:24:40,493 --> 01:24:42,286 I'm just asking you to live with me. 1381 01:24:46,832 --> 01:24:49,543 Everybody knows that a cat won't stay in a house 1382 01:24:49,544 --> 01:24:51,337 where someone's dying. 1383 01:24:53,714 --> 01:24:55,550 Stay as long as gypsy stays. 1384 01:24:57,635 --> 01:24:58,635 Ok? 1385 01:25:07,645 --> 01:25:09,313 Finally. 1386 01:25:10,189 --> 01:25:11,941 Peace within myself 1387 01:25:13,734 --> 01:25:16,529 summer is over and fall is my time. 1388 01:25:16,821 --> 01:25:19,448 My poetry. I love it. 1389 01:25:20,616 --> 01:25:23,076 Virgo in September and changing leaves, 1390 01:25:23,077 --> 01:25:26,080 falling and cluttering and drifting to the ground. 1391 01:25:26,872 --> 01:25:29,249 The smell of the sun and the dying grass, 1392 01:25:29,250 --> 01:25:31,502 the light filtering through the branches. 1393 01:25:33,421 --> 01:25:35,673 In Autumn, the sun is in the peace position. 1394 01:25:36,882 --> 01:25:40,343 So, it's time for warm sweaters and football and touching and loving. 1395 01:25:40,344 --> 01:25:43,097 Oh, I love it so much! 1396 01:25:53,190 --> 01:25:54,649 Where the hell have you been? 1397 01:25:54,650 --> 01:25:56,776 Can you help me get the stuff out of the car, please? 1398 01:25:56,777 --> 01:25:59,237 - Nora! - We had an audition. Remember? 1399 01:25:59,238 --> 01:26:02,282 I mean, we almost had a job. Except you weren't here. 1400 01:26:02,283 --> 01:26:03,908 I had to go to the mountains. 1401 01:26:03,909 --> 01:26:05,577 What do you mean you had to go to the mountains? 1402 01:26:05,578 --> 01:26:06,953 Without telling anybody? 1403 01:26:06,954 --> 01:26:09,039 Will you just cool it, Weaver? We just got back. 1404 01:26:09,040 --> 01:26:11,500 You knew we had an audition, what are you trying to do? 1405 01:26:12,627 --> 01:26:16,589 You have just become Mr. Irresponsibility and it really is getting me down. 1406 01:26:17,798 --> 01:26:20,800 - How's the big c coming along, Kate? - Would you cool it, I said! 1407 01:26:20,801 --> 01:26:22,677 - Be nice! - Better till you got here! 1408 01:26:22,678 --> 01:26:25,847 Right, you better rush back to the mountains and recuperate 1409 01:26:25,848 --> 01:26:27,265 from nasty old Weaver. 1410 01:26:27,266 --> 01:26:29,142 You are nasty. 1411 01:26:29,143 --> 01:26:30,852 - Nora, will you give me the... - I mean, your old man... 1412 01:26:30,853 --> 01:26:31,936 - On the table. - Doesn't need to work. 1413 01:26:31,937 --> 01:26:33,189 Oh, yeah. Sure. 1414 01:26:34,565 --> 01:26:36,483 And, you know, it's really true. It really is. 1415 01:26:36,484 --> 01:26:38,324 Nothing is more important to you than dying is. 1416 01:26:38,402 --> 01:26:39,362 There you go. 1417 01:26:39,363 --> 01:26:42,113 I mean, you don't have hospital bills. Or you don't pay rent. 1418 01:26:42,114 --> 01:26:45,283 Or buy food. Or gasoline. And Jill never outgrows her shoes. 1419 01:26:45,284 --> 01:26:47,786 - Jill never wears shoes. - That's funny. 1420 01:26:47,787 --> 01:26:49,746 - Oh! Let go, gypsy. - Gypsy. 1421 01:26:49,747 --> 01:26:52,374 I tell ya, I wish I had parents I could soak. 1422 01:26:52,375 --> 01:26:53,750 80 grand, Weaver. 1423 01:26:53,751 --> 01:26:54,751 See you later. 1424 01:26:56,128 --> 01:26:57,672 It's wine time. 1425 01:26:58,422 --> 01:27:00,048 - Wine? - No, thank you. 1426 01:27:00,049 --> 01:27:02,259 - Goodbye. - Goodbye, Weaver. 1427 01:27:03,803 --> 01:27:06,639 It's so pathetic, the guys they got. 1428 01:27:07,014 --> 01:27:08,765 Keith Wilder and Gordon Matthews. 1429 01:27:08,766 --> 01:27:10,350 You know we're better than they are. 1430 01:27:10,351 --> 01:27:13,062 I know we would've had the job if we'd only been there. 1431 01:27:13,688 --> 01:27:16,231 Thank you. If Kate hadn't had to dragged you off... 1432 01:27:16,232 --> 01:27:19,110 Just... it's my fault. Just leave Kate out of this. 1433 01:27:20,403 --> 01:27:23,196 - Yeah, well, I've had it. I'm splitting. - Good. 1434 01:27:23,197 --> 01:27:24,489 - The group. - Mommy. 1435 01:27:24,490 --> 01:27:25,782 I got to make money. 1436 01:27:25,783 --> 01:27:27,534 - Sam'll do better as a single. - Daddy. 1437 01:27:27,535 --> 01:27:30,036 - He won't do anything as a single. - That's good, baby. 1438 01:27:30,037 --> 01:27:32,622 That's very good. You really know how to bring a guy out. 1439 01:27:32,623 --> 01:27:34,125 You know what I mean, Weaver? 1440 01:27:35,459 --> 01:27:37,460 I don't know what you need money for. 1441 01:27:37,461 --> 01:27:39,505 You eat all our food. And drink all our wine. 1442 01:27:39,672 --> 01:27:43,216 Well, you've wrecked my life. I might as well be into you for something. 1443 01:27:43,217 --> 01:27:45,051 Why do you think I won't make it as a single? 1444 01:27:45,052 --> 01:27:46,261 Because he's jealous. 1445 01:27:46,262 --> 01:27:49,639 He's a nerd and he knows nobody's going to pay any money to see a nerd. 1446 01:27:49,640 --> 01:27:51,599 I love you, too. 1447 01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:55,563 No, because you don't work any more, even when we're here, you don't work. 1448 01:27:56,063 --> 01:27:58,815 Remember the hours we used to put in at the beginning. 1449 01:27:58,816 --> 01:28:01,569 I mean night after night, all night. 1450 01:28:02,319 --> 01:28:05,573 It just doesn't mean enough to you. Music doesn't. 1451 01:28:06,073 --> 01:28:08,784 - That's a dumb lie. - No, it isn't. It's the truth. 1452 01:28:11,162 --> 01:28:13,747 So, what are you gonna do now on your own? 1453 01:28:13,748 --> 01:28:15,207 I don't know. 1454 01:28:15,583 --> 01:28:16,709 I was, uh... 1455 01:28:17,251 --> 01:28:20,045 I was selling stuff until I ran into you. You know? 1456 01:28:22,798 --> 01:28:26,426 You know, Kate, being at the hospital all the time. You got access. 1457 01:28:26,427 --> 01:28:29,888 How about it? I mean, being in the family, you know, you owe it to me. 1458 01:28:29,889 --> 01:28:32,558 That's not really terribly funny, man. 1459 01:28:33,434 --> 01:28:35,895 Wasn't meant to be terribly funny. 1460 01:28:38,814 --> 01:28:41,525 Then you should probably get the hell out of my house. 1461 01:28:41,817 --> 01:28:43,985 - You talking to me or her? - I'm talking to you, man. 1462 01:28:43,986 --> 01:28:45,987 You should probably get the hell out of my house. 1463 01:28:45,988 --> 01:28:50,200 Mmm... well, I would but I think I'd rather stay and toast to you, John Wayne. 1464 01:28:51,410 --> 01:28:53,578 Get the hell our of my house, man. 1465 01:28:56,291 --> 01:29:00,418 And don't come back until you're ready to apologize to my wife, pilgrim. 1466 01:29:00,419 --> 01:29:01,419 Right? 1467 01:29:02,004 --> 01:29:04,048 That's exactly right, yeah. 1468 01:29:05,800 --> 01:29:07,218 Don't hold your breath. 1469 01:29:21,065 --> 01:29:22,942 Look out for all that glass there. 1470 01:29:23,317 --> 01:29:26,444 It's so beautiful with Sam now. 1471 01:29:26,445 --> 01:29:28,322 It's better than it's ever been. 1472 01:29:28,948 --> 01:29:31,616 You should hear his music, it's really nice. 1473 01:29:31,617 --> 01:29:32,617 Mmm. 1474 01:29:32,993 --> 01:29:36,330 In fact, they had an audition today. He should be here pretty soon. 1475 01:29:38,707 --> 01:29:41,125 Has he got the adoption papers for Jill yet? 1476 01:29:41,126 --> 01:29:43,087 No. He hasn't even applied yet. 1477 01:29:45,005 --> 01:29:46,005 Why? 1478 01:29:47,800 --> 01:29:48,800 Here it is. 1479 01:29:58,644 --> 01:30:01,313 - How much time does that leave me? - Not much. 1480 01:30:01,647 --> 01:30:03,482 Well, weeks, months, days? 1481 01:30:05,150 --> 01:30:07,277 Oh, hi. I'm sorry I'm late, man. 1482 01:30:07,278 --> 01:30:09,779 I... I was looking for gypsy all morning. 1483 01:30:09,780 --> 01:30:12,116 I didn't even get to the audition. 1484 01:30:12,616 --> 01:30:15,244 The minute you left, she ran away. 1485 01:30:18,038 --> 01:30:19,081 What? 1486 01:30:20,291 --> 01:30:21,375 'Cause he knew. 1487 01:30:26,839 --> 01:30:28,674 It's in the lung. 1488 01:30:57,661 --> 01:30:58,661 Kate. 1489 01:31:00,039 --> 01:31:01,540 Kate. 1490 01:31:33,280 --> 01:31:34,280 Mmm. 1491 01:31:37,284 --> 01:31:38,910 Nora. 1492 01:31:38,911 --> 01:31:39,911 Mmm. 1493 01:31:40,579 --> 01:31:41,579 Come in. 1494 01:31:44,041 --> 01:31:46,084 Do you leave your door unlocked like this all the time? 1495 01:31:46,085 --> 01:31:47,002 Mmm. 1496 01:31:47,003 --> 01:31:48,087 - Sam? - Yeah. 1497 01:31:49,546 --> 01:31:50,546 Is Kate all right? 1498 01:31:51,006 --> 01:31:54,342 Oh, she's fine. She's fine. Uh, she's upstairs asleep. 1499 01:31:54,343 --> 01:31:56,303 -Oh. Hi. 1500 01:31:57,429 --> 01:31:59,014 Uh, turn the light on. Come on in. 1501 01:31:59,723 --> 01:32:04,018 Oh, yeah, well, the thing is, is that I wanted to... 1502 01:32:04,019 --> 01:32:05,579 I had to have somebody to talk to. See? 1503 01:32:06,063 --> 01:32:09,858 So, um, the reason is that... 1504 01:32:12,736 --> 01:32:13,861 We got the job. 1505 01:32:13,862 --> 01:32:16,739 We got the mother loving job at o'brien's. 1506 01:32:16,740 --> 01:32:19,075 So, we start tomorrow night. Two nights a week at o'brien's. 1507 01:32:19,076 --> 01:32:21,703 Oh, Sam, that's so great. 1508 01:32:21,704 --> 01:32:23,663 Hand me that shawl over there, off the horse? 1509 01:32:23,664 --> 01:32:24,747 - Yeah. - So, tell me. 1510 01:32:24,748 --> 01:32:28,042 Uh, yeah, it was Weaver. All this time, I thought Weaver had gone home. 1511 01:32:28,043 --> 01:32:30,586 But all that time, he's talkin' to 'em at o'brien's 1512 01:32:30,587 --> 01:32:32,046 about a real job. 1513 01:32:32,047 --> 01:32:36,092 And they hire us. They actually hire us. Yeah. 1514 01:32:36,093 --> 01:32:38,136 - Congratulations. - Yeah, god. 1515 01:32:38,137 --> 01:32:41,180 O'brien's. Have you any idea who started at o'brien's? 1516 01:32:41,181 --> 01:32:43,182 - No. - Neither have I. 1517 01:32:45,728 --> 01:32:48,397 Oh, no. It's horse riding. 1518 01:32:49,273 --> 01:32:51,525 It's Hayden in the stretch. 1519 01:32:53,277 --> 01:32:55,279 J“ look around j“ 1520 01:32:55,988 --> 01:32:58,532 j“ grasses high j“ 1521 01:32:59,324 --> 01:33:03,037 j“ it's the springtime of my life j“ 1522 01:33:05,122 --> 01:33:09,251 j“ I'm gonna die j“ 1523 01:33:10,002 --> 01:33:11,628 j“ in the chill of the damp night j“ 1524 01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:14,965 I run silently and swiftly to my departure 1525 01:33:16,800 --> 01:33:18,802 I wish I had a piano. 1526 01:33:19,720 --> 01:33:21,596 I 'd play the blues. 1527 01:33:21,597 --> 01:33:24,599 We'll have a house in the Hollywood Hills with a lot of swimming pools 1528 01:33:24,600 --> 01:33:26,017 and a lot of horses. 1529 01:33:26,018 --> 01:33:27,477 No, I know a lot of superstars 1530 01:33:27,478 --> 01:33:29,062 - and that's what they all do all the time. - Is that what they do? 1531 01:33:29,063 --> 01:33:30,397 Yeah. 1532 01:33:37,196 --> 01:33:39,030 - What is it? - What's what? What? 1533 01:33:39,031 --> 01:33:41,825 - What're you laughing at? - What're you laughing at? 1534 01:33:42,034 --> 01:33:44,995 Me? I'm laughing 'cause I'm very happy that you got the job. 1535 01:33:51,585 --> 01:33:53,003 Well, come here, then. 1536 01:33:54,713 --> 01:33:55,713 Sam... 1537 01:33:56,006 --> 01:33:57,507 No, I'm hard of hearing 1538 01:34:18,695 --> 01:34:20,739 - Sam, do you hear me? - Hmm? 1539 01:34:20,948 --> 01:34:22,907 We're not going to make a habit of this. 1540 01:34:22,908 --> 01:34:24,660 Sorry, I can't hear a word you say. 1541 01:34:41,426 --> 01:34:42,386 Hey. 1542 01:34:42,386 --> 01:34:43,386 It's all right. 1543 01:34:46,265 --> 01:34:49,351 Wow, you smell of lavender. 1544 01:34:51,270 --> 01:34:52,980 She smells of death. 1545 01:34:56,024 --> 01:34:59,403 And I want to make things good between Sam and me again. 1546 01:35:03,282 --> 01:35:07,327 I know the best thing way to that is to... To make love the way we used to. 1547 01:35:10,581 --> 01:35:12,457 But I can't. 1548 01:35:15,377 --> 01:35:16,670 It hurts so. 1549 01:35:19,590 --> 01:35:20,590 How you doing? 1550 01:35:24,261 --> 01:35:25,304 What time is it? 1551 01:35:25,512 --> 01:35:26,763 Uh, it's pretty late. 1552 01:35:27,181 --> 01:35:30,058 Uh, we got the job. 1553 01:35:30,851 --> 01:35:32,643 We stayed late to rehearse tonight. 1554 01:35:32,644 --> 01:35:34,645 - You got the job. - Yeah, two nights a week. 1555 01:35:34,646 --> 01:35:35,938 - It's fabulous. - Ah... 1556 01:35:41,069 --> 01:35:42,946 You smell like lavender. 1557 01:35:44,698 --> 01:35:45,741 That's nice. 1558 01:35:46,992 --> 01:35:48,619 I love you, daddy. 1559 01:35:49,786 --> 01:35:51,495 - Baby. - Of course, he gets paid. 1560 01:35:51,496 --> 01:35:54,458 He's with a union. They have to pay him. It's a regularjob. 1561 01:35:58,003 --> 01:35:59,337 You sit right here, baby. 1562 01:35:59,338 --> 01:36:02,174 Well, if it's any of your business, he gets paid a lot. 1563 01:36:05,302 --> 01:36:08,430 Would please stop trying to run my life, mom. 1564 01:36:10,390 --> 01:36:13,226 Uh, hi. This is king Kong speaking. 1565 01:36:13,227 --> 01:36:17,271 Yes. You wanna know how much money I make? No, I'll tell you how much money I make. 1566 01:36:17,272 --> 01:36:19,815 $4,000 a week. 1567 01:36:19,816 --> 01:36:23,861 Huh? No, we're just about to move into this incredible mansion. 1568 01:36:23,862 --> 01:36:27,156 If you are good, maybe, maybe we will invite you over. 1569 01:36:27,157 --> 01:36:29,992 Oh, yeah. No, don't call us. We will call you. 1570 01:36:29,993 --> 01:36:34,038 Goodbye. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 1571 01:36:34,039 --> 01:36:35,832 That ought to hold her for a while. 1572 01:36:35,999 --> 01:36:38,584 That was a different kind of a kiss. 1573 01:36:38,585 --> 01:36:41,420 It's just that I'm higher than a kite right now. 1574 01:36:41,421 --> 01:36:44,423 Do you realized in six hours we hit the big time? 1575 01:36:44,424 --> 01:36:46,176 I know. I wish I could be there. 1576 01:36:47,469 --> 01:36:49,303 Oh, but you are gonna be there. 1577 01:36:49,304 --> 01:36:51,222 - Well, Jill's just got over the cold. - No, no, no. 1578 01:36:51,223 --> 01:36:54,267 We're gonna leave Jill some place and you're coming with me. 1579 01:36:54,268 --> 01:36:56,228 I wanna go to the park. 1580 01:36:57,396 --> 01:36:58,813 What's going on? 1581 01:36:58,814 --> 01:37:02,276 Nothing's going on. I just want you with me. That's all. 1582 01:37:02,442 --> 01:37:03,443 What's wrong with that? 1583 01:37:04,319 --> 01:37:05,279 Daddy. 1584 01:37:05,280 --> 01:37:06,529 What's wrong with that? 1585 01:37:06,530 --> 01:37:08,740 Sam, are you fooling around? 1586 01:37:09,032 --> 01:37:11,201 "Fooling around". 1587 01:37:12,202 --> 01:37:13,495 "Fooling around". 1588 01:37:15,455 --> 01:37:17,040 Are you having an affair? 1589 01:37:19,293 --> 01:37:24,171 You just can't stand anybody else having center stage, can you? 1590 01:37:24,172 --> 01:37:27,091 That wasn't the question. 1591 01:37:27,092 --> 01:37:28,426 Daddy? 1592 01:37:28,427 --> 01:37:29,845 Someone's calling you. 1593 01:37:30,387 --> 01:37:32,556 - Daddy? - The answer obviously is no. 1594 01:37:33,181 --> 01:37:36,310 Absolutely, categorically, no. 1595 01:37:43,317 --> 01:37:45,068 Sam, it's ok. 1596 01:37:47,904 --> 01:37:49,281 It doesn't matter. 1597 01:38:09,301 --> 01:38:10,427 Babysitter. 1598 01:38:10,802 --> 01:38:11,803 Nora. 1599 01:38:11,970 --> 01:38:12,929 Yeah? 1600 01:38:12,930 --> 01:38:14,638 - Nora. - Yeah, I'm coming. 1601 01:38:14,639 --> 01:38:17,141 Coming. Coming. Coming. 1602 01:38:17,142 --> 01:38:18,267 -Hey. 1603 01:38:18,268 --> 01:38:21,854 - Oh, Sam, isn't it great? So pretty. - Oh, yeah. 1604 01:38:21,855 --> 01:38:24,190 Uh, Kate said that she just got over a cold 1605 01:38:24,191 --> 01:38:26,776 and that she should probably get to bed really early. 1606 01:38:26,777 --> 01:38:28,235 - Sure. I'll do it. - Ok. 1607 01:38:29,196 --> 01:38:30,196 You wanna come in? 1608 01:38:30,489 --> 01:38:33,783 Uh, no, I better not. 1609 01:38:33,784 --> 01:38:35,284 - Well, you're looking real fine. - Yeah? 1610 01:38:35,285 --> 01:38:37,912 Yeah, I like it. Back's great, too. 1611 01:38:37,913 --> 01:38:38,913 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1612 01:38:41,208 --> 01:38:42,458 See you tomorrow? 1613 01:38:42,459 --> 01:38:46,046 It's, uh, difficult. 1614 01:38:47,047 --> 01:38:48,839 Yeah, but it doesn't have to be. 1615 01:38:48,840 --> 01:38:50,634 Not as long as your head's in the right spot. 1616 01:38:53,553 --> 01:38:54,888 Go break a leg, fella. 1617 01:38:55,847 --> 01:38:58,892 - Go on. Get outta here. - Ok, yeah. Ok. Right. 1618 01:39:15,033 --> 01:39:16,910 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 1619 01:39:17,244 --> 01:39:18,702 -I got you. 1620 01:39:18,703 --> 01:39:20,783 All right. All right. Boy, are you ok? 1621 01:39:21,081 --> 01:39:22,374 - Yeah. - Ok. 1622 01:39:23,667 --> 01:39:24,667 Wow. 1623 01:39:28,380 --> 01:39:30,382 Hey! Where were you? 1624 01:39:30,632 --> 01:39:32,049 It's about time. 1625 01:39:32,050 --> 01:39:33,843 Yeah, would you get my guitar, it's out in the bus. 1626 01:39:33,844 --> 01:39:35,719 We were supposed to go on a half an hour ago. 1627 01:39:35,720 --> 01:39:38,431 - I'm sorry. - Oh, you're sorry. 1628 01:39:41,685 --> 01:39:43,645 Pull up a chair, sit down. Wait, wait, wait. 1629 01:39:44,062 --> 01:39:46,314 This is Tori. Tori, this is Sam and Kate. 1630 01:39:51,903 --> 01:39:53,737 You gonna be ok, here? 1631 01:39:53,738 --> 01:39:57,159 Um, I'd rather sit back. I can hearjust as well. 1632 01:39:57,325 --> 01:39:59,743 You know, just ask the man. He'll give you another beer. 1633 01:39:59,744 --> 01:40:00,744 Sam... 1634 01:40:01,913 --> 01:40:03,330 Uh, ladies and gentlemen. 1635 01:40:03,331 --> 01:40:04,707 - We gotta get together after. - Sure. 1636 01:40:04,708 --> 01:40:05,791 Right on. Right on. 1637 01:40:05,792 --> 01:40:08,211 Right after the show! 1638 01:40:09,087 --> 01:40:10,087 Hi! 1639 01:40:10,630 --> 01:40:12,048 Can you hear me back there? 1640 01:40:13,258 --> 01:40:15,677 Listen, if you could settle down... 1641 01:40:16,845 --> 01:40:18,180 Can I have your attention please? 1642 01:40:18,388 --> 01:40:19,806 Hello? 1643 01:40:20,056 --> 01:40:23,684 - Somebody? Hello? - Come on! I can't hear myself drink! 1644 01:40:25,812 --> 01:40:26,812 Yeah. 1645 01:40:33,361 --> 01:40:36,490 Hey, what's going on? I haven't seen you in so long! 1646 01:40:36,990 --> 01:40:39,200 J“ lady j“ 1647 01:40:39,201 --> 01:40:42,162 j“ are you crying? J“ 1648 01:40:42,412 --> 01:40:46,124 j“ do the tears belong to me? J“ 1649 01:40:48,793 --> 01:40:53,632 J“ did you think our time together j“ 1650 01:40:54,299 --> 01:40:57,719 j“ is all gone? J“ 1651 01:41:01,848 --> 01:41:06,186 j“ lady, you've been dreaming j“ 1652 01:41:07,395 --> 01:41:12,567 j“ I'm as close as I can be j“ 1653 01:41:13,693 --> 01:41:17,071 j“ and I swear to you j“ 1654 01:41:17,072 --> 01:41:22,661 j“ our time has just begun j“ 1655 01:41:23,245 --> 01:41:24,246 they're not good. 1656 01:41:26,873 --> 01:41:29,833 J“ close your eyes j“ 1657 01:41:29,834 --> 01:41:34,464 j“ and rest your weary mind j“ 1658 01:41:38,843 --> 01:41:41,971 j“ I promise j“ 1659 01:41:41,972 --> 01:41:47,936 j“ I I! Stay right here beside you j“ 1660 01:41:51,523 --> 01:41:56,777 j“ today our lives were joined j“ 1661 01:41:56,778 --> 01:42:01,199 j“ became entwined j“ 1662 01:42:03,743 --> 01:42:05,286 j“ and I wish j“ 1663 01:42:05,287 --> 01:42:08,455 j“ that you could know j“ 1664 01:42:08,456 --> 01:42:14,421 j“ how much I love you j“ 1665 01:42:16,798 --> 01:42:21,219 j“ lady, are you happy? J“ 1666 01:42:22,345 --> 01:42:27,642 j“ do you feel the way I do? J“ 1667 01:42:28,727 --> 01:42:31,395 j“ are there meanings j“ 1668 01:42:31,396 --> 01:42:33,648 j“ that you've never j“ 1669 01:42:34,065 --> 01:42:37,902 j“ seen before? J“ 1670 01:42:41,781 --> 01:42:43,575 j“ lady j“ 1671 01:42:43,908 --> 01:42:47,329 j“ my sweet lady j“ 1672 01:42:47,829 --> 01:42:53,752 j“ I just can't believe it's true j“ 1673 01:42:54,252 --> 01:42:57,547 j“ it's like I've never j“ 1674 01:42:58,089 --> 01:43:03,178 j“ ever loved before j“ 1675 01:43:07,682 --> 01:43:10,476 j“ close your eyes j“ 1676 01:43:10,477 --> 01:43:15,690 j“ and rest your weary mind j“ 1677 01:43:19,778 --> 01:43:23,197 j“ I promise j“ 1678 01:43:23,198 --> 01:43:28,286 j“I'll stay right here beside you j“ 1679 01:43:32,791 --> 01:43:38,253 j“ today our lives were joined j“ 1680 01:43:38,254 --> 01:43:42,509 j“ became entwined j“ 1681 01:43:45,303 --> 01:43:50,099 j“ and I wish that you could know j“ 1682 01:43:50,100 --> 01:43:56,022 j“ how much I love you j“ 1683 01:43:56,815 --> 01:44:00,151 j“ oh, oh, my lady j“ 1684 01:44:01,903 --> 01:44:04,155 j“ are you crying? J“ 1685 01:44:05,281 --> 01:44:09,703 j“ do the tears belong to me? J“ 1686 01:44:10,870 --> 01:44:13,789 j“ do you think j“ 1687 01:44:13,790 --> 01:44:16,334 j“ our time together j“ 1688 01:44:16,960 --> 01:44:19,921 j“ is all gone? J“ 1689 01:44:24,175 --> 01:44:29,556 j“ lady, my sweet lady j“ 1690 01:44:30,265 --> 01:44:35,520 j“ I'm as close as I can be j“ 1691 01:44:36,730 --> 01:44:40,315 j“ and I swear to you j“ 1692 01:44:40,316 --> 01:44:46,239 j“ our time has just begun j“ 1693 01:44:59,461 --> 01:45:00,795 Clap, you dope heads. 1694 01:45:13,516 --> 01:45:15,434 Ok. 1695 01:45:15,435 --> 01:45:18,187 - Wasn't it incredible? - Yeah. 1696 01:45:18,188 --> 01:45:20,481 At first, I thought they were never gonna listen. 1697 01:45:20,482 --> 01:45:23,150 And then I thought, they were never gonna clap. 1698 01:45:23,151 --> 01:45:25,445 What a gig! 1699 01:45:27,030 --> 01:45:29,698 What an incredible gig. Huh? 1700 01:45:29,699 --> 01:45:32,910 Well, shall I go downstairs and get Jill or what? 1701 01:45:32,911 --> 01:45:36,121 - Oh, what time is it? - It's 2:30. 1702 01:45:36,122 --> 01:45:38,208 - Then we should leave her. - Ok. 1703 01:45:41,669 --> 01:45:43,296 - Sam. - Mmm? 1704 01:45:43,713 --> 01:45:46,132 My tape recorder, where... where is it? 1705 01:45:49,385 --> 01:45:50,595 The door was open. 1706 01:45:52,555 --> 01:45:56,476 - And I always look the door. - Oh, Sam. 1707 01:46:01,689 --> 01:46:02,689 Two, three, four. 1708 01:46:02,690 --> 01:46:04,608 Is everyone ready now? Jack, are you ready? 1709 01:46:04,609 --> 01:46:05,609 We're ready. 1710 01:46:06,611 --> 01:46:07,611 We're rolling. 1711 01:46:08,404 --> 01:46:11,241 Kate, eighth interview at her apartment. 1712 01:46:11,908 --> 01:46:13,534 By now, everyone knows Kate Hayden. 1713 01:46:13,535 --> 01:46:15,327 Knows what she's been through. 1714 01:46:15,328 --> 01:46:17,329 What's happened to her, what happened to her tapes 1715 01:46:17,330 --> 01:46:18,330 of the hospital. 1716 01:46:18,748 --> 01:46:21,208 Uh, could we hold it? Wait. Waitjust a minute, please. 1717 01:46:21,209 --> 01:46:25,712 Mrs. Hayden, do you think we could bring the child in here with you? 1718 01:46:25,713 --> 01:46:27,340 Jill? Come here. 1719 01:46:29,551 --> 01:46:31,260 Beautiful. 1720 01:46:31,261 --> 01:46:32,761 That's it exactly. 1721 01:46:32,762 --> 01:46:35,973 Well, I stopped... I stopped taking drugs or anything 1722 01:46:35,974 --> 01:46:39,227 be... or anything else for the cancer because, um... 1723 01:46:39,769 --> 01:46:43,314 They messed my head up and I couldn't say what I wanted to say 1724 01:46:43,565 --> 01:46:46,276 and I couldn't leave the book I wanted to leave her. 1725 01:46:48,611 --> 01:46:52,156 So they expect me to die pretty, pretty soon. 1726 01:46:54,951 --> 01:46:56,368 And that's really hard to say, 1727 01:46:56,369 --> 01:46:59,122 'cause all of a sudden, there's nothing left for her. 1728 01:46:59,706 --> 01:47:03,084 I don't suppose whoever, uh, took my tapes 1729 01:47:03,251 --> 01:47:06,003 and tape recorders... 1730 01:47:06,004 --> 01:47:10,382 Recorder, um... is watching, 1731 01:47:10,383 --> 01:47:13,051 but if you are, please, um, 1732 01:47:13,052 --> 01:47:16,138 please send me back the used tapes. 1733 01:47:16,139 --> 01:47:17,891 They aren't any good to you anyway. 1734 01:47:19,309 --> 01:47:24,230 Mrs. Hayden, the station has authorized me to present you with this new tape recorder 1735 01:47:24,981 --> 01:47:27,774 - and one dozen reels of tape. - Thank you. 1736 01:47:27,775 --> 01:47:29,027 Jill... 1737 01:47:29,861 --> 01:47:33,280 If you ever feel the need to talk to someone, baby, 1738 01:47:33,281 --> 01:47:34,865 - come to this book. - More mail! 1739 01:47:34,866 --> 01:47:37,200 - Are you ready for this? - Written words can't help much, 1740 01:47:37,201 --> 01:47:39,286 But at least it'll let you know 1741 01:47:39,287 --> 01:47:40,663 how much I would've cared. 1742 01:47:41,372 --> 01:47:43,207 For whatever was wrong. 1743 01:47:44,500 --> 01:47:46,543 I love you so much, baby. 1744 01:47:46,544 --> 01:47:48,379 I got it. 1745 01:47:52,425 --> 01:47:53,425 Hello? 1746 01:47:54,135 --> 01:47:56,595 No, no. This is a friend of hers, can I help you? 1747 01:47:56,596 --> 01:47:58,931 I wish I could be with you when you're old enough to read this. 1748 01:47:58,932 --> 01:48:01,516 No, she can't be at the phone right now, can I take a message? 1749 01:48:01,517 --> 01:48:03,185 I wonder what the world's gonna be like then. 1750 01:48:03,186 --> 01:48:04,346 She's in the bathroom. 1751 01:48:05,438 --> 01:48:07,838 Yes. Papaya juice? 1752 01:48:08,983 --> 01:48:11,360 Yes, I've got that. Ok. 1753 01:48:11,361 --> 01:48:13,153 Yeah, I'll make sure she gets it. 1754 01:48:13,154 --> 01:48:14,948 Thank you very much. Bye-bye. 1755 01:48:16,741 --> 01:48:20,994 This one says papaya juice, beet root, soybean oil in a blender. 1756 01:48:20,995 --> 01:48:22,789 Six times a day for six weeks. 1757 01:48:23,498 --> 01:48:25,166 People. God bless 'em. 1758 01:48:25,917 --> 01:48:28,669 Please remember that sex is a function, 1759 01:48:28,670 --> 01:48:30,129 and love is an emotion. 1760 01:48:30,922 --> 01:48:33,424 Don't just sleep with any man for sex. 1761 01:48:34,926 --> 01:48:38,680 Because when you're in love, there's a bond of giving and receiving. 1762 01:48:39,514 --> 01:48:41,474 It's so important, Jill. 1763 01:48:42,850 --> 01:48:45,269 If any sort of relationship is gonna survive. 1764 01:48:46,771 --> 01:48:50,066 Well, east Germany's got the cure today. 1765 01:48:51,859 --> 01:48:54,444 Tomorrow I suppose it's gonna be red China, right? 1766 01:48:54,445 --> 01:48:56,863 - Well, listen to this. - Hmm. What? 1767 01:48:56,864 --> 01:48:58,949 "God has a reason for everything, Mrs. Hayden. 1768 01:48:58,950 --> 01:49:01,034 Search your soul, find your sin. 1769 01:49:01,035 --> 01:49:03,830 For you have indeed committed a terrible..." 1770 01:49:04,872 --> 01:49:06,541 I'm going to miss you, Sam. 1771 01:49:09,085 --> 01:49:11,671 The way you touch me and comfort me when I'm sad. 1772 01:49:13,673 --> 01:49:15,341 And the way you smile. 1773 01:49:16,342 --> 01:49:18,511 And the way you dance around when you're happy. 1774 01:49:21,347 --> 01:49:23,725 I can't die and leave you guys. 1775 01:49:24,809 --> 01:49:27,895 Who's going to clean the toilet? Who's going to clean the oven? 1776 01:49:32,650 --> 01:49:34,569 What's the matter with you, god? 1777 01:49:35,319 --> 01:49:37,112 My family's not a bunch of boy scouts 1778 01:49:37,113 --> 01:49:39,574 who can figure out all these things for themselves. 1779 01:49:43,286 --> 01:49:44,996 That's what you taught me to do. 1780 01:49:46,914 --> 01:49:48,583 That's why I'm here. 1781 01:49:51,627 --> 01:49:53,629 God, you're some kind of idiot! 1782 01:49:55,965 --> 01:49:58,551 To pull something like this. 1783 01:49:59,385 --> 01:50:01,095 What do you gain? 1784 01:50:03,681 --> 01:50:05,558 I just don't understand. 1785 01:50:10,605 --> 01:50:14,108 Jill is a beautiful little girl who needs a mother to love her. 1786 01:50:18,446 --> 01:50:21,949 [Feel like it, right now, like death. 1787 01:50:24,285 --> 01:50:26,454 I get so close at night. 1788 01:50:59,028 --> 01:51:00,780 Are you all right, mommy? 1789 01:51:08,663 --> 01:51:11,666 What? Where is it? What? What? 1790 01:51:11,833 --> 01:51:14,084 You can't breathe? You can't breathe? 1791 01:51:19,590 --> 01:51:23,427 My mother took us to the Seattle zoo. 1792 01:51:23,803 --> 01:51:26,304 And we were feeding the elephants, pat and I. 1793 01:51:26,305 --> 01:51:28,974 We ran out of peanuts and popcorn and they were still hungry 1794 01:51:28,975 --> 01:51:33,270 so I grabbed my white sandals off my feet and threw them in. 1795 01:51:33,271 --> 01:51:36,857 Pat thought it was a great idea and started to take all her clothes off 1796 01:51:36,858 --> 01:51:39,818 and throw them but mom stopped her. 1797 01:51:39,819 --> 01:51:43,072 Oh, I hated those stupid sandals anyway. 1798 01:51:45,575 --> 01:51:47,826 Around Christmas time we used to collect pine cones 1799 01:51:47,827 --> 01:51:50,453 for an old lady. I think it was, uh... 1800 01:51:50,454 --> 01:51:52,164 I think it was Mrs. Seewald, 1801 01:51:52,165 --> 01:51:55,251 Mrs. Seewald, who made wreaths for the church. 1802 01:51:56,294 --> 01:51:58,045 She died before I was ten. 1803 01:51:59,297 --> 01:52:02,008 J“ I remember being with you j“ 1804 01:52:02,633 --> 01:52:05,720 j“ I remember dreaming with you j“ 1805 01:52:06,095 --> 01:52:09,431 j“ I remember loving you j“ 1806 01:52:09,432 --> 01:52:15,354 j“ you were mine j“ 1807 01:52:17,273 --> 01:52:20,985 j“ and now the day seemed so long j“ 1808 01:52:21,235 --> 01:52:22,235 j“ mmmj“ 1809 01:52:23,946 --> 01:52:27,783 j“ and I can't face the night alone j“ 1810 01:52:29,827 --> 01:52:31,828 j“ I beg you, please j“ 1811 01:52:31,829 --> 01:52:37,752 j“ won't you please come home? J“ 1812 01:52:44,884 --> 01:52:46,010 Sam? 1813 01:52:47,094 --> 01:52:48,094 Hey! 1814 01:52:49,138 --> 01:52:50,138 Hi. 1815 01:52:50,681 --> 01:52:53,684 Hi, sweet lady. How do you feel? 1816 01:52:56,354 --> 01:52:57,939 Nothing hurts any more. 1817 01:52:59,273 --> 01:53:01,483 It's heaven to breathe without it hurting. 1818 01:53:04,862 --> 01:53:06,906 In that case. 1819 01:53:11,202 --> 01:53:13,703 I brought my competition. 1820 01:53:13,704 --> 01:53:14,704 Sam. 1821 01:53:16,791 --> 01:53:18,834 I wish I had a piano. 1822 01:53:19,377 --> 01:53:21,254 So, I could play Jill a lullaby. 1823 01:53:23,256 --> 01:53:25,299 A blues lullaby. 1824 01:53:28,135 --> 01:53:30,054 How I wish I were up in the mountains. 1825 01:53:33,266 --> 01:53:35,601 I hope you put me there. 1826 01:53:36,227 --> 01:53:37,436 Sam? 1827 01:53:38,020 --> 01:53:39,146 It's me, baby. 1828 01:53:40,815 --> 01:53:42,941 - Where's Sam? - He had to go work. 1829 01:53:42,942 --> 01:53:46,445 - And Jill's with the people upstairs. - I keep dreaming about her. 1830 01:53:46,946 --> 01:53:49,365 Oh, Kate. Hey. 1831 01:53:49,615 --> 01:53:52,285 Don't worry about Jill. She's gonna be just fine. 1832 01:53:52,994 --> 01:53:54,429 You know, she's a tough little girl. 1833 01:53:54,453 --> 01:53:56,246 I worry about her all the time. 1834 01:53:56,247 --> 01:54:00,459 There's no need to. There's lots of people that love her and would take care of her. 1835 01:54:03,296 --> 01:54:05,463 - Think they'll put her in an orphanage? - No. 1836 01:54:05,464 --> 01:54:07,716 Now, why would they want to do a thing like that? 1837 01:54:07,717 --> 01:54:10,677 And Sam, Sam's not gonna... 1838 01:54:12,013 --> 01:54:13,389 Abandon her? 1839 01:54:15,433 --> 01:54:17,100 I don't know. 1840 01:54:17,101 --> 01:54:19,061 She's not really his. 1841 01:54:20,688 --> 01:54:23,607 Why should he be saddled with her for the rest of his life. 1842 01:54:26,569 --> 01:54:29,697 After all this crud with me. 1843 01:54:29,947 --> 01:54:31,615 Oh, it's enough. 1844 01:54:32,074 --> 01:54:35,202 When I go he ought to just be able to walk away. 1845 01:54:35,911 --> 01:54:41,125 If he does, I'll take Jill. If you want me to. 1846 01:54:42,668 --> 01:54:45,004 Well, it's between you and Dr. Gillman. 1847 01:54:45,588 --> 01:54:48,591 She's so busy all the time. 1848 01:54:48,799 --> 01:54:52,552 - So I win by default, right? - You know what I mean. 1849 01:54:52,553 --> 01:54:57,183 Kate... Kate, I'd raise her real right, anyway. 1850 01:54:58,642 --> 01:55:01,061 Sam's parents are going to try to get her. 1851 01:55:01,062 --> 01:55:02,521 Or my parents. 1852 01:55:02,813 --> 01:55:04,565 And I don't want them to have her. 1853 01:55:05,232 --> 01:55:06,901 It's really important to me. 1854 01:55:07,777 --> 01:55:10,696 You know, I don't know anything about any legal stuff... 1855 01:55:10,988 --> 01:55:12,782 But, you know... 1856 01:55:13,324 --> 01:55:15,368 Maybe if you put it down on a tape, 1857 01:55:16,202 --> 01:55:19,747 then if there's any hassle, then it won't be my word against theirs. 1858 01:55:27,922 --> 01:55:30,049 What is it about me that bothers you, Kate? 1859 01:55:31,509 --> 01:55:34,302 You're untidy. 1860 01:55:34,303 --> 01:55:35,929 Yeah, I'm untidy. 1861 01:55:35,930 --> 01:55:38,014 But tidy mothers raise neurotic daughters. 1862 01:55:38,015 --> 01:55:39,975 Yes. My mother was tidy. 1863 01:55:47,691 --> 01:55:49,735 You've been sleeping with Sam. 1864 01:55:51,779 --> 01:55:53,614 Not any more. 1865 01:55:54,907 --> 01:55:59,078 It wasn't such a terrible thing to do under the circumstances, was it? 1866 01:56:00,871 --> 01:56:02,915 No, I guess not. 1867 01:56:06,502 --> 01:56:08,629 It's just that I don't want Jill... 1868 01:56:09,004 --> 01:56:10,589 Raised by a loose woman? 1869 01:56:10,965 --> 01:56:14,259 Loose and untidy. 1870 01:56:14,260 --> 01:56:16,720 That's so stuffy and middle class of you, my dear. 1871 01:56:17,263 --> 01:56:18,722 -Sorry. 1872 01:56:23,269 --> 01:56:26,522 I meant to put all the things I made for Jill in a cedar chest. 1873 01:56:28,023 --> 01:56:29,783 - The quilt and things. - Yeah, I know. 1874 01:56:30,192 --> 01:56:31,152 I'll do that. 1875 01:56:31,153 --> 01:56:34,447 - And if the tapes ever turn up... - I'll have them typed and bound. 1876 01:56:37,283 --> 01:56:40,994 But you almost have everything re-recorded anyway, don't you? 1877 01:56:40,995 --> 01:56:44,123 - Well, I don't know. I'm so disorganized. - Oh, no, you're not. 1878 01:56:44,415 --> 01:56:45,790 Dying's such a hassle. 1879 01:56:45,791 --> 01:56:48,626 No, but you don't have to worry about anything, 1880 01:56:48,627 --> 01:56:51,087 just leave everything to me 1881 01:56:51,088 --> 01:56:54,258 and... and I'll sort it all out just the way you want it. 1882 01:56:55,759 --> 01:56:58,136 - You wanna... - Call Dr. Gillman. 1883 01:56:58,137 --> 01:56:59,137 Why? 1884 01:56:59,889 --> 01:57:02,891 Don't... can I get you anything? You want pain pills? 1885 01:57:05,060 --> 01:57:06,978 - There's... - Sam. 1886 01:57:06,979 --> 01:57:07,979 What? 1887 01:57:11,817 --> 01:57:12,860 Wait. 1888 01:57:13,986 --> 01:57:14,986 Please. 1889 01:57:27,458 --> 01:57:31,837 You fade away and come back. Like some artsy-craftsy movie. 1890 01:57:34,965 --> 01:57:37,510 And so do the walls. 1891 01:57:40,721 --> 01:57:42,389 Bring your piano. 1892 01:57:47,686 --> 01:57:48,938 Please. 1893 01:57:52,942 --> 01:57:56,570 - Just wait a bit please. - Oh. About Jill. 1894 01:57:56,904 --> 01:58:00,658 All right. I'm gonna to take care of Jill. I told you that before. 1895 01:58:01,116 --> 01:58:03,160 Kate, I love Jill. 1896 01:58:04,703 --> 01:58:06,372 I hope you marry Nora. 1897 01:58:07,164 --> 01:58:09,666 I just... [just wanna be married to you. 1898 01:58:09,667 --> 01:58:12,794 Why are you always trying to pawn me off on somebody else. 1899 01:58:12,795 --> 01:58:14,630 All we gotta do is... 1900 01:58:14,922 --> 01:58:19,551 Just get a little rest. And get you better and then we'll all go home together. 1901 01:58:19,552 --> 01:58:22,053 Nora's good with Jill. 1902 01:58:22,054 --> 01:58:25,391 Would you cut it out with this Nora stuff? 1903 01:58:26,225 --> 01:58:29,519 If I can accept dying, why can't anybody else? 1904 01:58:29,520 --> 01:58:30,728 Hello, Kate. 1905 01:58:30,729 --> 01:58:34,108 If you ask me how I'm feeling I'll strangle you. 1906 01:58:35,025 --> 01:58:37,318 What do you want for lunch, that's all I want to know. 1907 01:58:37,319 --> 01:58:39,446 - A pain pill. - Ok. 1908 01:58:39,905 --> 01:58:43,658 And you won't give me any other drugs to prolong it. Promise? 1909 01:58:43,659 --> 01:58:44,659 Promise. 1910 01:58:47,037 --> 01:58:49,998 I've got... got some stuff to do in the book. 1911 01:58:49,999 --> 01:58:53,543 And I can't do it with that stuff that messes my head up. 1912 01:58:53,544 --> 01:58:55,169 Whenever you do want a pain pill, 1913 01:58:55,170 --> 01:58:58,298 all you have to do is ring for the nurse and she'll bring you one, ok? 1914 01:58:58,299 --> 01:58:59,757 And you're not going to put any other stuff 1915 01:58:59,758 --> 01:59:02,760 - in the pain pills, are you? - No, of course not. 1916 01:59:02,761 --> 01:59:07,348 I wanna die on my own clock. That's what I want. 1917 01:59:07,349 --> 01:59:09,309 Ok, I'm sorry. 1918 01:59:09,310 --> 01:59:11,228 I'm sorry. I can't take this. 1919 01:59:18,319 --> 01:59:22,405 What'd I tell you? Mr. Vanishing act. 1920 01:59:26,118 --> 01:59:27,118 Well... 1921 01:59:28,245 --> 01:59:30,581 It's hard to watch somebody die. 1922 01:59:31,540 --> 01:59:33,626 Probably harder than it is to die. 1923 01:59:42,801 --> 01:59:45,262 What am I thinking about? 1924 01:59:49,933 --> 01:59:53,604 About friends and places and dogs I've had. 1925 01:59:54,897 --> 01:59:56,774 Thinking about my little girl. 1926 02:00:00,110 --> 02:00:02,153 Kind of stubby. 1927 02:00:02,154 --> 02:00:03,489 Long blond hair. 1928 02:00:05,699 --> 02:00:08,869 With an attitude about life that makes me feel small. 1929 02:00:11,538 --> 02:00:12,998 Thinking about dying. 1930 02:00:13,957 --> 02:00:17,044 Feeling rage that soon there won't be no more of me. 1931 02:00:20,714 --> 02:00:23,634 But a feeling of melancholy comes, you know? 1932 02:00:25,052 --> 02:00:27,888 It's really a beautiful feeling. 1933 02:00:28,889 --> 02:00:31,350 When you know you've done all you know how to do 1934 02:00:32,685 --> 02:00:36,105 and all that's left is a little bit of tomorrow. 1935 02:00:37,064 --> 02:00:39,274 I was a virgin when I married David. 1936 02:00:40,275 --> 02:00:42,277 Can you believe that? 1937 02:00:45,072 --> 02:00:47,658 All the things she accused me of. 1938 02:00:52,788 --> 02:00:56,375 I loved my keeping myself a virgin because I loved her. 1939 02:00:57,835 --> 02:00:59,878 Because I believed her. 1940 02:01:01,088 --> 02:01:04,466 Even when she stopped believing me, I went on believing her. 1941 02:01:09,888 --> 02:01:11,723 She taught me what... 1942 02:01:11,724 --> 02:01:13,099 She taught me what love was 1943 02:01:13,100 --> 02:01:16,144 when she taught me the names of the mountain flowers. 1944 02:01:16,145 --> 02:01:17,187 Yeah? 1945 02:01:18,313 --> 02:01:20,232 And to speak out for myself. 1946 02:01:22,317 --> 02:01:25,404 And she gave me my first dog. 1947 02:01:27,614 --> 02:01:30,659 How could she accuse me of being a tramp? 1948 02:01:37,332 --> 02:01:38,625 Mommy... 1949 02:01:43,338 --> 02:01:45,382 Please, mommy. 1950 02:01:47,301 --> 02:01:49,094 Tell me you love me. 1951 02:01:51,847 --> 02:01:54,016 Because I hurt so bad 1952 02:01:56,268 --> 02:01:59,021 and I need my mommy to comfort me. 1953 02:02:03,275 --> 02:02:04,526 I know, Kate. 1954 02:02:07,488 --> 02:02:08,822 I'll tell her. 1955 02:02:12,409 --> 02:02:15,621 Tell her nothing. Tell her to go to hell! 1956 02:02:31,929 --> 02:02:35,432 It's hard now. Very hard. 1957 02:02:37,559 --> 02:02:40,520 I keep thinking let me wake up just one more morning. 1958 02:02:40,521 --> 02:02:43,232 I have so much to say to Jill. 1959 02:02:45,317 --> 02:02:46,902 It's so important. 1960 02:02:53,242 --> 02:02:55,035 Or is it so important? 1961 02:02:59,498 --> 02:03:01,959 I don't even know how to play the piano. 1962 02:03:06,547 --> 02:03:08,674 Goodbye, Jill. 1963 02:03:09,925 --> 02:03:11,718 Goodbye, Dr. Gillman. 1964 02:03:13,929 --> 02:03:15,347 Goodbye, Sam. 1965 02:03:18,725 --> 02:03:23,105 Jill, my love. My little love. 1966 02:03:25,274 --> 02:03:27,192 Hang in there, baby. 1967 02:03:39,621 --> 02:03:42,291 Hi, daddy! 1968 02:04:01,602 --> 02:04:02,728 She died. 1969 02:04:05,105 --> 02:04:06,148 Didn't she? 1970 02:04:07,274 --> 02:04:08,859 I want my... 1971 02:04:20,829 --> 02:04:25,083 I drove this thing 425 miles already. Huh. 1972 02:04:27,836 --> 02:04:30,463 Jill. Wanna go for a ride? 1973 02:04:30,464 --> 02:04:32,382 Huh? Huh? 1974 02:04:32,841 --> 02:04:35,719 - Here's a flower for you! - Oh, thanks, baby. 1975 02:04:36,219 --> 02:04:39,389 Thanks. Let me unbutton my coat. Look out, it's bur... it's hot. 1976 02:04:40,724 --> 02:04:43,518 Yeah. Yeah, ok. I'll just put this coat around here. 1977 02:04:43,977 --> 02:04:46,980 I'll button you in, can you breathe? Huh? 1978 02:04:48,190 --> 02:04:50,400 Ok, ready to go? Look out. 1979 02:04:53,320 --> 02:04:54,321 Yeah, ok. 1980 02:05:16,510 --> 02:05:21,765 J“ lady, my sweet lady j“ 1981 02:05:22,307 --> 02:05:27,354 j“ I'm as close as I can be j“ 1982 02:05:29,064 --> 02:05:31,817 j“ and I swear to you j“ 1983 02:05:32,317 --> 02:05:40,317 j“ our time has just begun j“148014

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