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1
00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:03,503
Here's what you missed on Glee.
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00:00:03,587 --> 00:00:05,797
Emma had a crush on Will,
but Will was married.
3
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:08,091
Will had a crush on Emma.
He got a divorce and kissed her,
4
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,759
but now she's dating
some dude named Carl.
5
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,386
- He's my dentist.
- It's a total bummer.
6
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:13,805
- Tina told Artie
to take a hike.
- You're a terrible boyfriend.
7
00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:16,933
Then she got the hots for Mike Chang.
Now Artie's obsessed
with getting her back.
8
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,643
- I want abs.
- So much drama.
9
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:21,145
That's what you missed on Glee.
10
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:26,234
All right. Who can tell me
who Christopher Cross is?
11
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:28,736
He discovered America.
12
00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:32,156
Close. He did write
an iconic chart topper...
"Sailing."
13
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,075
I have a bad feeling
about this lesson.
14
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,785
Never heard of him.
Don't want to hear about him.
15
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,746
Now, some people think
of the term "easy listening"
as a bad thing,
16
00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:40,998
but I'm gonna let this music
speak for itself.
17
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:43,418
You guys love Lady Gaga
and the Rolling Stones,
18
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,920
and you guys are
really good about
putting it all out there,
19
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:50,174
but really good music
can also be controlled
and restrained.
20
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,301
It doesn't have to
attack an audience.
21
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,262
It can let them come to you.
22
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,723
How can you get caught between
the moon and New York City?
23
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,391
They're like
a hundred miles apart.
24
00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:01,269
Mr. Schue, if I may,
I think I speak
for all of us...
25
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,896
when I say
that it's not that
we don't love the idea...
26
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:06,691
of spending a week
on this silky-smooth
adult contemporary.
27
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:10,319
It's just that, as teens,
this isn't the easiest music
for us to relate to.
28
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,364
However,
there is a burgeoning
Facebook campaign...
29
00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:15,783
that has swelled
to over five members.
30
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:19,412
The ardent demand?
That this week, at the fall
homecoming assembly,
31
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:24,292
the McKinley High School
Glee Club perform
a number by... wait for it...
32
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,877
Ms. Britney Spears.
33
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,129
Yo, Spears is fierce, yo.
Yeah.
34
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,131
Whoo!
35
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,717
Sorry. Kurt. Kurt. Sorry. No.
36
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,303
No. No. I don't think
she's a very good role model.
37
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:37,346
But, Mr. Schue,
we kind of grew up with her.
38
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,390
She's literally why I wanted
to become a performer.
39
00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:42,351
- I don't want to do Britney.
- Why no Britney, Brittany?
40
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,229
Because my name
is also Britney Spears.
41
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:47,064
- What?
- What the hell
is she talking about?
42
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:49,525
My middle name is Susan.
My last name is Pierce.
43
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,987
That makes me
Brittany S. Pierce.
Brittany "Spierce."
44
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,615
I've lived my entire life
in Britney Spears's shadow.
45
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:58,785
I will never be as
talented or as famous.
46
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:02,079
I hope you'll all respect
that I want Glee Club
to remain a place where...
47
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:06,250
I, Brittany S. Pierce,
can escape the torment
of Britney Spears.
48
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:09,504
Well, there you have it, guys.
49
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:12,381
It's been decided.
No Britney. Sorry.
50
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,300
Thanks, Britt.
Thanks a lot.
51
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,469
Leave Brittany alone.
52
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,972
Thank you for understanding.
It's been a hard road.
53
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,766
Um, can we move on?
54
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,810
Yes.
55
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,062
Let's talk about
Michael Bolton.
56
00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,859
I know that Britney's had
some issues in the past,
57
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:34,862
but I actually think it's
quite admirable the way she's
gotten her life back together.
58
00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:38,866
Hasn't she had, what, like three
number one hits in the past
two years?
59
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,369
She's a single mom
raising two kids.
60
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,163
I think she's the perfect symbol
for the possibility of rebirth.
61
00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,832
I ca...
62
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,543
See, that's your problem, Will.
You're too uptight.
63
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:50,461
- Oh, you're calling me uptight?
- Mm-hmm.
64
00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:52,463
The woman who buys
hand sanitizer by the barrel?
65
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:55,508
I admit I have had some
control issues
in the past,
66
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,468
but Carl's been
helping me with
all of that.
67
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:58,761
Really?
Mm-hmm.
68
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,347
Wow. Um, like how?
69
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:05,142
So, the other day he made me
buy the green grapes and
the red grapes at the market.
70
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,520
Then we just mixed them
together in a bowl,
and we just ate them.
71
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:10,439
- It was madness.
Sheer madness.
- Wow.
72
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,235
You know what?
That's fine.
Make fun all you want,
73
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,737
but it's a start,
and I am incredibly
grateful for it.
74
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,406
Hey now.
Am I interrupting?
75
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:21,784
Carl, no. Hi.
What are you doing here?
76
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,537
I thought I'd surprise you
and take you to lunch.
77
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:28,791
Oh, I love that look of
instant panic every time
I try to change your routine.
78
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:29,959
Adorable.
79
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:33,754
- And you must be Will.
Yeah.
80
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,840
Emma told me you're
the cutest guy in school.
81
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,842
- Will, you grind your teeth?
82
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,719
I... I don't think so.
83
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,596
- Damn it.
- What? What's wrong?
84
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,556
Another teenager needs
a root canal. I swear,
85
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,559
not one student in this school is gonna
have their teeth by the time they're 30.
86
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,519
Oh, the sugar kids eat today.
87
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,730
Carl has been trying to
get the school board
to let him come...
88
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:53,441
do a seminar on good dental
hygiene, but they've been
dragging their feet.
89
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,111
Why don't you come
talk to Glee Club?
Well...
90
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,238
- That would be a dream, Will.
- Yeah.
91
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:00,781
Yeah. Will,
that would be amazing.
92
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:03,326
I'm usually pretty tight
about our rehearsal schedule,
93
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,704
but I think I can
loosen the reins a bit for Carl.
94
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,874
Kids can't sing
without teeth, right?
95
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:13,336
No. They'd be... They wouldn't be singing.
They'd be gumming.
96
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,257
This jacket!
97
00:04:18,342 --> 00:04:20,343
Hey. Hey! Give me that back!
I earned that!
98
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,553
This jacket belongs to people
who are actually on the team.
99
00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:25,556
But you know what? We gonna
restyle it to represent
the obvious...
100
00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:28,434
duality in your sexuality.
101
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,189
Ooh.
102
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,734
Trying to swing at me?
Swingin', huh?
103
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,819
- Come on. Swing at me.
- I love it. Come on!
104
00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:40,655
- Come on. Let's go!
- Sorry to interrupt.
105
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:43,282
I'm actually glad
you're here to see this.
106
00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:46,494
Finn, I just wanted to apologize
for getting you kicked off
the football team.
107
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,245
I just hope there's
no hard feelings.
108
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,416
- So, what are you guys
talking about?
- Dude, take him.
109
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,961
This wheelchair kid
is in the way.
What if I knock him over?
110
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:58,339
Ah, there's something
not right about hitting
a kid in a wheelchair.
111
00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:01,759
The only thing that's saving you
right now is my moral code.
112
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,136
I don't hit crippled people,
but I'll be back.
113
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:06,806
- We're gonna be back.
114
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:15,147
All right.
So here's the deal.
You chew this little capsule.
115
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,192
If there's any plaque
you missed, the dye will stick to it
and turn your teeth blue.
116
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,653
Can I just say that you are
the hottest dentist
I've ever seen.
117
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:24,156
- Yeah, I get that all the time.
- No. Like, seriously,
you can totally drill me whenever...
118
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,951
Santana. Okay.
Let's stay focused.
119
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:30,204
Rock and roll, Ems.
And besides,
this guy...
120
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:33,165
Now, this guy's pretty easy
on the eyes too, huh?
121
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,292
And you know what? No matter
how hard I tried,
122
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,211
I bet I couldn't sing and dance
like him.
123
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:41,132
Ah, probably not.
All right. Let's take a look
at those chompers, huh?
124
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,634
Before we chew,
I would just like to
alert Mr. Schue...
125
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:46,470
that there's been a new addition
to the Britney Spears
Facebook campaign.
126
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,180
Sorry.
The answer's still no.
127
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,516
Capsules, guys.
128
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,435
Yes. Chew away.
Chew, chew.
129
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,324
Oh, my God.
130
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,160
What?
131
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,162
Ah!
132
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,622
I don't understand.
I floss between classes.
133
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:16,292
Well, sometimes it's genetics.
I think I might be better...
134
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,461
at brushing and flossing
if I could see myself
in the mirror.
135
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,546
- There you go, blue tooth.
I don't brush my teeth.
136
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,631
I rinse my mouth out
with soda after I eat.
137
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,092
I was pretty sure
Dr Pepper was a dentist.
138
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:29,930
I got this, Em.
Some deep bleaching, little scaling,
you'll be as good as new.
139
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,974
All right. Open up.
140
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,101
Close.
141
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,020
Close again.
142
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,901
This room looks like the one on
that spaceship where I got probed.
143
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,986
So, Brittany, you, uh...
144
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,405
You have the worst teeth
I've ever seen.
145
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:50,076
You have cavities in every
single tooth. This has got
to be some sort of record.
146
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,161
Please don't pull all my teeth.
147
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,206
When I smile I'll look like
an adult baby, but with boobs.
148
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:58,542
I'm gonna put you under
with a little general anesthesia.
You won't feel a thing.
149
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,920
- Like roofies?
- Yeah. Totally.
150
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,589
I'll put on Pandora.
151
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,342
And you just relax.
152
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,429
Oh, no. Not Britney.
153
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:25,069
All you people look at me
like I'm a little girl
154
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:29,907
Well, did you ever think
it'd be okay for me to step
into this world
155
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:34,161
Always saying
"Little girl, don't step into the club"
156
00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:37,790
Well, I'm just trying
to find out why
'cause dancing's what I love
157
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,251
- Now watch me
- Get it, get it
Get it, get it
158
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,753
- Ooh
- Get it, get it
- Do you like it
159
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:44,672
- Whoa
- Get it, get it
Get it, get it
160
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,590
- Oh
- It just feels good
161
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:51,887
I'm a slave for you
162
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,722
I cannot hold it
163
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,391
I cannot control it
164
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:59,937
I'm a slave for you
165
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:01,981
I won't deny it
166
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:04,316
I'm not trying to hide it
167
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:08,863
I know I may come off quiet
may come off shy
168
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:12,867
But I feel like talking
feel like dancing
when I see this guy
169
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:17,830
What's practical is logical
What the hell, who cares
170
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:22,001
All I know is I'm so happy
when you're dancing there
171
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,419
Baby
172
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,881
Don't you wanna
dance up on me
173
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,299
I just wanna dance next to you
174
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,759
To another time and place
175
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,219
Oh, baby
176
00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:36,056
Don't you wanna
dance up on me
177
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,767
- Are you ready
- Leaving behind my name and age
178
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,687
- Let's go
- Get it, get it
Get it, get it
179
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,522
- Ooh
- Get it, get it
Get it, get it
180
00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,816
- Whoa
- Get it, get it
Get it, get it
181
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:51,697
- I'm a slave for you
- Here we go now
182
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,408
- Here we go now
- I cannot hold it
183
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,036
- I cannot control it
- Do you like it when I move
184
00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:01,874
- I'm a slave for you
- Here we go
185
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,292
I won't deny it
186
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,127
Yeah
I'm not trying to hide it
187
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,170
Yeah
188
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,423
- Like that
- Brittany?
189
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:12,593
Brittany, wake up.
All right. You're gonna feel
a little nauseous.
190
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,805
- I petted a snake.
191
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,557
Rock on.
192
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,559
I'm gonna have to
see you tomorrow.
193
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:21,852
You have
68 cavities.
194
00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:23,687
I couldn't
get 'em all today.
195
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,773
Can I have
a blue toothbrush?
196
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,983
I'll give you
a hundred toothbrushes.
Okay.
197
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,528
Are you a cat?
198
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:34,490
Are you all right?
You seem a little down.
199
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,617
Didn't you like
the banana bread
I baked you?
200
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,870
Yeah. It was awesome.
It's just-
201
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:42,957
How do you feel about me
not being on the football team
anymore?
202
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,918
I'm actually kind of happy
about it. Then I don't
have to fantasize...
203
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:49,296
about what song
I'd sing at your bedside
if you were in a coma.
204
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:50,714
Yeah.
205
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,716
But I'm just so not cool now,
you know?
206
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:56,262
Well, it's just less of a chance
of you running off
with some cheerleader.
207
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,430
Wait. So you want me
to feel bad about myself?
208
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:01,642
No. I just-
I want to be the only thing
that makes you feel good.
209
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,437
I'm just trying to be honest.
Hey, dwarf.
210
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:08,524
Anyone ever tell you
you dress like one of the bait girls
on To Catch a Predator?
211
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,276
Also, I'm more
talented than you.
212
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,112
You could have defended me.
213
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:14,905
Well, Santana has a point.
214
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,992
I'm just trying to be honest.
215
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,917
So, Santana, I'm looking at
your charts and your X-rays.
216
00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:29,461
- Your teeth are perfect.
- That's right.
217
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,964
Well, I can't just
put you under.
218
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,966
Anesthesia isn't something
to joke about. It's serious.
219
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,761
Okay, listen.
My dad's a doctor.
And not a "tooth doctor."
220
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,431
A real one.
He, like, went to college
or something.
221
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:43,183
Which means I have
a killer health care plan that
pretty much pays for everything.
222
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,227
So get up in my grille,
223
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,981
'cause Britts and I wants to
get our anesthesia on.
224
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,859
- It's totally cool.
- Well, okay.
225
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,445
- I guess I can give you
a superstrong bleaching.
- Mmm.
226
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,281
- Should I turn the radio on?
We've got it covered.
227
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,492
All my people in the crowd
228
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,411
Grab a partner
Take it down
229
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,413
It's me against the music
230
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,081
- It's just me
- And me
231
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,916
- Yeah
- Come on
232
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,376
Ho
233
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,755
Hey, Brittany
234
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,799
- Are you ready
- Uh-huh
235
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,510
- Are you
- Ooh
236
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,429
No one cares
237
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,598
It's whippin' my hair
It's pullin' my waist
238
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,518
- To hell with stairs
- The sweat is drippin'
all over my face
239
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,103
- To hell
- And no one's there
240
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,481
I'm the only one
dancin' up in this place
241
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,358
- It's just me
- Tonight I'm here
242
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,318
Feel the beat of the drum
Gotta get with that bass
243
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,070
I'm up against the speaker
tryin' to take on the music
244
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,696
It's like a competition
Me against the beat
245
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,823
- I wanna get in the zone
- Get in the zone
246
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,326
- I wanna get in the zone
- I wanna get in the zone
247
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,370
If you really wanna battle
saddle up
and get your rhythm
248
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:47,081
Tryin' to hit it, chic-a-tah
In a minute
I'm-a take you on
249
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,083
- I'm-a take you on
- I'm-a take you on
250
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:50,292
Hey, hey, hey
251
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,252
All my people on the floor
252
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,546
- Let me see you dance
- Let me see ya
253
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,673
All my people wantin' more
254
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,467
Let me see you dance
I wanna see ya
255
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,469
All my people
round and round
256
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,554
- Let me see you dance
- Let me see ya
257
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,431
All my people in the crowd
258
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,475
- Let me see you dance
- I wanna see ya
259
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,560
Get on the floor
260
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,063
- Baby, lose control
- Yeah
261
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,357
- Just work your body
- Uh-huh
262
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,317
- And let it go
- Let it go
263
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:19,113
If you wanna party
just grab somebody
264
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:23,158
Hey, Brittany
we can dance all night long
265
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,202
Hey, Brittany
266
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:28,038
You say you wanna
lose control
267
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:31,166
Come over here
I got somethin' to show ya
268
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,293
Sexy lady
269
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:36,171
I'd rather see you
bare your soul
270
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,549
If you think you're so hot
better show me what you got
271
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,384
All my people in the crowd
272
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,386
Let me see you dance
273
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,680
Come on, Brittany
Lose control
274
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,515
Watch you take it down
275
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,725
Get on the floor
276
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,561
Baby, lose control
277
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:55,274
Just work your body
and let it go
278
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:58,986
If you wanna party
just grab somebody
279
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:02,614
Hey, Brittany
we can dance all night long
280
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:06,660
- All my people on the floor
- Said let me see you dance
281
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:10,622
- All my people in the crowd
- Said let me see you dance
282
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:14,251
- All my people in the crowd
- Let me see you dance
283
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,211
Come on, Brittany
Lose control
284
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,380
Watch you take it down
285
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,217
- You're really hot.
- You're sweet.
286
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:25,220
And your breath
smells really good.
So does yours.
287
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,806
And you know why?
'Cause this is a fantasy.
288
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:30,559
- Wow.
289
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,189
...making Christopher Cross
a Golden Globe,
290
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,900
Oscar and five-time
Grammy award winner.
291
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,902
- Brittany.
- I would just like to say...
292
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:43,238
that, from now on,
I demand to have
every solo in Glee Club.
293
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,157
- What?
- When I had my teeth cleaned,
294
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,367
I had the most amazing
Britney Spears fantasy.
295
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,828
I sang and danced
better than her.
296
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,997
Now I realize
what a powerful woman
I truly am.
297
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,708
I went with her,
and I had a Britney fantasy too.
298
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:59,087
Although now that I'm thinking
about it, I'm not really sure
how our fantasies combined.
299
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,840
- That doesn't make any sense.
- You see, Mr. Schue?
I told you.
300
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:05,844
Britney Spears busted our Britt
out of her everyday fragmented
haze of confusion...
301
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:08,055
and gave her the confidence
to step up and perform.
302
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,307
I'm more talented than all of you.
I see that clearly now.
303
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,060
It's Brittany, bitch.
304
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:16,313
Guys, we're not doing
Britney Spears,
and that's that.
305
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:19,733
Mr. Schue, you are letting
your own personal issues
get in the way of something...
306
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:22,903
that we are all telling you
we really want to do.
307
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,030
I mean, this club regularly
pays tribute to pop culture,
308
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,157
and Britney Spears
is pop culture.
309
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,785
- To suggest
otherwise is heretical.
- Kurt!
310
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,330
- I'm done talking about this.
- Geez! Let loose a little,
would you?
311
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,749
Stop being so fricking
uptight all the time!
312
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,753
Kurt.
313
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:44,758
I'll see you
in the principal's office.
Uh-oh.
314
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,057
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
315
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,059
Ahhh
Ahhh
316
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:56,937
317
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,773
All right.
Evidence of some grinding.
318
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:03,193
I'll set you up
with a night guard.
Fantastic. Happy to do it.
319
00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:06,154
- All right.
Can we stop this right now?
- What?
320
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,824
Well, this is clearly awkward
for the two of us.
321
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,201
All right.
Let's talk it out.
322
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,621
Bro to bro.
323
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,498
Fine, bro.
324
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:19,710
I still have
feelings for Emma.
Strong feelings.
325
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,212
So do I.
The difference is she chose me.
326
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:24,673
Now, I don't know
what's gonna happen
with Emma and I, but...
327
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,842
I do ask that you back off
until we figure it out.
328
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,011
What if I tell you
I don't think I could do that?
329
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:33,181
Rinse.
330
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,059
Will, put yourself in my shoes.
331
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,437
I mean, say it doesn't
work out between
the two of us,
332
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,439
and she chooses
to go back to you.
333
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,983
How would you feel
if I continued
to come after her?
334
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,695
Okay, fine. I'll back off.
335
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,531
But the second
she starts leaning my way,
I am back in. Deal?
336
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:53,368
Deal. Now open back up.
I want to continue
this examination.
337
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,622
Ahhh.
No more ahhhs.
338
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,875
You know what?
I got just the thing for you.
339
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,175
- Candy?
- You gotta loosen up
and bang, bro.
340
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:11,386
I mean, you're grinding those
beautiful little teeth
down to nubs.
341
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,430
I honestly think that's why
you and Emma didn't work out.
342
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,641
There's not an impulsive bone
between the two of you.
343
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,393
- And you think eating candy's
gonna change that?
- You gotta get ridiculous, bro.
344
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:21,021
You gotta just start
doing things that feel good
for no reason.
345
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:25,192
You know, I used to get up
at the same time every day
and have the same eggs.
346
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,736
One day I'm driving
the hybrid to work,
past the Chevy dealership.
347
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,822
The new Corvettes
had just come in.
So I stop right on the spot,
348
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,116
I make a U-turn,
and I buy one.
349
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,577
Now I take the top down,
take Emma for a spin.
350
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,413
She doesn't even care
if her hair gets messed up.
You follow me?
351
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,670
Hey, Rachel.
Hey, Mr. Schue.
352
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,381
You all set?
You need me to stay
with you or anything?
353
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,341
No. I've been taking
herbal anti-anxiety pills...
354
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:52,302
and reading the unauthorized
biography of Britney Spears
to stay calm.
355
00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:55,847
I look forward
to the day the paparazzi
provokes me and I attack them.
356
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,475
Are you okay?
Did you have a cavity
or something?
357
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:01,561
- Is that candy?
- I'm fine.
358
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,106
Good luck.
359
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,338
Oh, baby, baby
360
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,135
Oh, baby, baby
361
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:41,810
Oh, baby, baby
How was I supposed to know
362
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,440
That something
wasn't right here
363
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,650
Oh, baby, baby
364
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:53,697
I shouldn't have let you go
365
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:56,575
And now you're
out of sight, yeah
366
00:17:56,659 --> 00:18:00,954
Show me
how you want it to be
367
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:03,373
Tell me, baby
368
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:07,127
'Cause I need to know now
what we've got
369
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:12,340
My loneliness is killing me
and I
370
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:16,219
I must confess
I still believe
371
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,512
Still believe
372
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:21,433
When I'm not with you
I lose my mind
373
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:25,437
Give me a sign
374
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,148
Hit me, baby
one more time
375
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,858
Oh, baby, baby
376
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,236
Yeah, hey
377
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:34,946
Oh, baby, baby
378
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,324
Yeah, hey, yeah
379
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,035
Oh, baby, baby
380
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:44,623
How was I supposed to know
381
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,837
Oh, pretty baby
382
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:57,469
I shouldn't have
let you go
383
00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:02,516
I must confess
that my loneliness
384
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,560
Is killing me now
385
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:09,397
Don't you know
I still believe
386
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:13,026
When I'm not with you
I lose my mind
387
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,238
Give me a sign
388
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:19,699
Hit me, baby
one more time
389
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,368
Rachel?
390
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:23,495
Rachel, wake up.
391
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,664
You Glee kids
are impossible to work on.
392
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:29,042
You're always moving around
when you're under.
393
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,752
Is this real life?
394
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,812
Hey. Take my hoodie.
You look cold.
395
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:53,567
It's okay. Wait. You mean
you don't like my new look?
Don't you think it's a bit much?
396
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:57,195
I think that guy just broke up
with his girlfriend over there
just so he could stare at you.
397
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,866
I'm just doing what you told me.
Besides, it's not like when
I went all sad-clown hooker...
398
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:03,076
and put on that ridiculous
Grease catsuit.
399
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,704
This is just like
my regular look
with the volume turned up.
400
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:10,000
Ooh, baby, you can hit me
as many times as you want,
as long as you got that on.
401
00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:12,627
How come all
the gay guys always get
the hottest chicks?
402
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,296
Move it!
What?
403
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,756
You see what I'm talking about?
They're personifying you.
404
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,216
Objectifying.
405
00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,635
Whatever.
406
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,055
Just tell me why it's okay
for you to feel safer with me
not on the football team, but...
407
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:27,601
it's not okay for me
to feel safer with you
in your old reindeer sweaters.
408
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:31,146
Look. I see your point.
In order for this relationship to work,
we can't control each other.
409
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,065
So you have my blessing...
410
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,818
to rejoin the football team...
if you can.
411
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,155
It looks like a Jewish cloud.
412
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,869
What do you want for her?
I'll give you anything.
413
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,955
I'll give you my house.
I'll kill my parents,
and I'll give you my house.
414
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,250
Wanky, wanky!
415
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,463
I kind of liked your old car.
Oh!
416
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:59,758
That car was a metaphor
for everything that was
wrong with my life.
417
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,510
My fear of change.
418
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:05,972
That dragging muffler
was like the chains
of Marley's ghost.
419
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:10,226
Oh, God.
And now they're gone,
and I feel like a free man!
420
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,687
By buying the same car as Carl?
421
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,356
His didn't have
heated seats.
422
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:19,277
Come on, Emma.
I'm just doing everything
you said I should do.
423
00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:21,529
I'm loosening up, and...
424
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,157
I feel amazing.
425
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,201
Let's take her
for a spin.
426
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,246
Oh, this is my jam.
427
00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:33,833
Well, it's not that far
to paradise
428
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:36,419
At least it's not for me
429
00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:40,256
And if the wind is right
we can sail away
430
00:21:40,341 --> 00:21:42,425
And find tranquillity
431
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:47,263
- Get out of the car.
- Watch this.
432
00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:50,266
I'm taking this back
to the dealer.
Oh. Hey, home wrecker!
433
00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:52,560
Do I have to remind you
that we are divorced?
434
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,021
I am reminded every month
when I get my
spousal support check...
435
00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:59,359
the one that I know you can't
send me if you're buying
a car that you can't afford!
436
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:01,861
Emma.
437
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,614
You know what? Actually,
438
00:22:04,699 --> 00:22:06,658
I think you should
keep this car.
439
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:10,370
You should enjoy it,
you know, at least until
they repossess it.
440
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:13,581
But just don't buy any more
big-ticket items, okay?
441
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,125
Why is that?
442
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:18,253
Because someday
you are gonna come
to your senses, Will,
443
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,964
and you're gonna get over
that little miss crazy pants,
444
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:24,926
and you're gonna come back
to the one woman who really
knows how to love you.
445
00:22:26,429 --> 00:22:29,597
I just don't want you
to have blown all of
our savings when you do.
446
00:22:37,815 --> 00:22:39,107
Damn!
447
00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:45,697
Well, Rachel,
congratulations.
448
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:48,575
Normally you dress like
the fantasy of a perverted
Japanese businessman...
449
00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:50,660
with a very dark,
specific fetish,
450
00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:52,537
but I actually
dig this look.
451
00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:54,497
Yay.
Thank you.
452
00:22:54,582 --> 00:22:58,209
I think what Santana's trying
to say, Rachel... though I risk
expulsion by saying so...
453
00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:01,463
is that it seems Britney Spears
has really helped you blossom.
454
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,381
That's all.
455
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,259
Wait. Rachel,
is that true?
456
00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:08,678
I mean, you are sort of
dressing differently.
457
00:23:08,763 --> 00:23:10,930
- Bouncy, bouncy, bounc...
- Hey, hey.
458
00:23:11,015 --> 00:23:14,476
Look. All I know is that I had
a very vivid Britney Spears
fantasy at the dentist,
459
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:18,146
and since then
it's made me feel free
to get out of my own way.
460
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:21,691
I think I've just
always been afraid to dress
like a pretty girl...
461
00:23:21,776 --> 00:23:23,777
because I've never
really felt like one before.
462
00:23:23,861 --> 00:23:27,197
Now I realize it's okay
to feel that way about yourself
every now and then.
463
00:23:27,281 --> 00:23:29,157
Maybe it's a good thing.
464
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,159
It's such a good thing,
I can't believe it.
465
00:23:32,661 --> 00:23:34,162
William, a word.
466
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,125
You have got to be
kidding me.
467
00:23:39,210 --> 00:23:42,087
I was headed
to the library computers
late last night...
468
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:44,547
to score my Cheerios
some cheap tickets
on one of those...
469
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:47,300
off-brand airlines
with shoddy safety records.
470
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:51,471
You know, to fly my J.V. Squad,
so if the plane did go down,
it wouldn't be that big a deal.
471
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:53,932
But then, horror!
472
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:56,059
Rachel, are you aware
you've never been hotter...
473
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,061
than you are right now
dressed as Britney Spears?
474
00:23:58,145 --> 00:23:59,896
Thank you.
475
00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:02,482
Can I put
some clothes on, please?
No.
476
00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:05,777
I want you to feel
the beads of your own
sweaty, depraved stank...
477
00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:07,654
dripping down
your butt crack.
478
00:24:07,738 --> 00:24:11,241
Rachel Berry was dressing
like Britney Spears,
and I was titillated.
479
00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:13,868
Oh, dear God.
Please don't ever
say that word again.
480
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,787
Can I go now, please?
481
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:19,332
You're gonna have to turn around
when I stand up,
482
00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:21,292
if you know what I mean.
483
00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:25,839
That is really gross, Sue,
but they're kids. Hormones.
484
00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:28,842
William,
I realize you're still
mourning the loss...
485
00:24:28,926 --> 00:24:31,469
of that bony,
redheaded hominid
you're in love with.
486
00:24:31,554 --> 00:24:33,138
I understand that.
487
00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:36,099
I also understand that
you've bought a brand-new car
to impress her.
488
00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:37,934
You're flailing, William.
489
00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:40,311
Now, I'm secretly hoping
it's a midlife crisis,
490
00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:42,230
which means you're halfway
to an early death,
491
00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:44,440
affording me a blissful,
demented convalescence...
492
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:46,693
spent peeing on your grave.
493
00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,862
What's your point, Sue?
494
00:24:48,946 --> 00:24:51,197
Don't let your own recklessness
blind you to the fact...
495
00:24:51,282 --> 00:24:54,742
that Britney Spears
is a genius pop culture
provocateur...
496
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:58,663
and a gateway drug to
every out-of-control impulse
ever created.
497
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:01,791
This school is a powder keg
of sexual deviance, William.
498
00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:05,962
And in my office,
I have a chair with a naked
butt-sweat stain to prove it.
499
00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:10,133
I'm not kiddin'.
It's like an inkblot test,
that butt-sweat stain.
500
00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:12,760
Stare into it, William,
501
00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:16,222
and you will see the light
of all that is good
go out of the world.
502
00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:23,479
Wait just a second now.
You look more confused than ever.
503
00:25:23,564 --> 00:25:27,317
Is your Glee Club doing
Britney Spears music?
504
00:25:27,401 --> 00:25:29,694
Is that why Rachel was wearing
that inappropriate outfit?
505
00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:30,737
No.
506
00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:34,824
No. We are not doing Britney.
507
00:25:34,909 --> 00:25:36,534
Okay.
508
00:25:36,619 --> 00:25:37,952
Just checking.
509
00:25:47,046 --> 00:25:49,714
I'm serious. You should put
ranch dressing on it.
510
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:52,508
- On pizza?
- Yeah. It's delicious.
You should try it.
511
00:25:52,593 --> 00:25:55,678
I'm 100% in love
with you right now.
512
00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:59,265
- Hey, Britney.
- Oh, hey, Artie.
513
00:25:59,350 --> 00:26:02,477
Girl, you are such a fool
for breaking up
with such a sweetheart.
514
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,438
I know, Britney.
Artie, I'm sorry.
515
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:07,690
And I'm stronger.
516
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:09,984
I'm serious. You're hot.
517
00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:15,114
Ooh, hey, yeah
518
00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:20,536
Hush, just stop
519
00:26:21,872 --> 00:26:25,166
There's nothing
you can do or say
520
00:26:25,793 --> 00:26:27,460
Baby
521
00:26:27,544 --> 00:26:30,129
I've had enough
522
00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:33,967
I'm not your property
as from today
523
00:26:34,635 --> 00:26:36,427
Baby
524
00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:42,100
You might think
that I won't make it
525
00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:44,102
On my own
526
00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:49,899
But now I'm stronger
than yesterday
527
00:26:49,984 --> 00:26:53,653
Now it's nothing but my way
528
00:26:53,737 --> 00:27:00,285
My loneliness
ain't killing me no more
529
00:27:00,369 --> 00:27:05,206
I... I'm stronger
530
00:27:06,709 --> 00:27:09,502
Oh, yeah
Here I go, on my own
531
00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:14,215
I don't need nobody
Better off alone
532
00:27:16,552 --> 00:27:18,886
Here I go, on my own now
533
00:27:20,723 --> 00:27:23,391
I don't need nobody
Not anybody
534
00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:28,146
Here I go
535
00:27:31,066 --> 00:27:33,067
Here I go
Here I go
536
00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:35,361
Here I go
537
00:27:35,446 --> 00:27:39,282
Stronger than yesterday
538
00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:43,536
It's nothing but my way
539
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:49,042
My loneliness
ain't killing me no more
540
00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:50,501
No more
541
00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:55,298
I... I'm stronger
542
00:27:59,219 --> 00:28:01,429
Britney.
543
00:28:05,934 --> 00:28:11,064
- What are you doing?
- Oh. I'm, uh,
going to run some laps.
544
00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:13,316
Gonna get back in shape
and back on the team.
545
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,069
That's what I came
to talk to you about.
I want on the team too.
546
00:28:16,153 --> 00:28:18,154
Every day,
Tina and Mike's Asian fusion
grows stronger.
547
00:28:18,238 --> 00:28:21,908
Look. I want to
help you, dude, but...
548
00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:24,118
kind of need to
take care of myself
right now.
549
00:28:25,287 --> 00:28:26,788
I'm sorry.
550
00:28:28,582 --> 00:28:30,500
I had a vision
at the dentist.
551
00:28:30,584 --> 00:28:34,670
You and I were out on the field
with the team, playing football.
We were unstoppable.
552
00:28:34,755 --> 00:28:38,591
I just know that if we can show
what I can do to Coach B,
she'd put me on the team.
553
00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:40,468
Show me what?
554
00:28:41,470 --> 00:28:43,388
I... I wanted to ask you...
555
00:28:43,472 --> 00:28:45,473
to reconsider putting me
on the football team.
556
00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:47,809
- I'm not with him on this one.
- Well, you should be.
557
00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:50,228
I need you to help him
get his uniform.
558
00:28:50,312 --> 00:28:51,687
What?
559
00:28:51,772 --> 00:28:54,565
Well, don't just stare at me
like a donkey with a wooden leg.
560
00:28:54,650 --> 00:28:57,819
Go see the equipment manager,
and you boys
get out on the field.
561
00:28:57,903 --> 00:28:59,612
Practice starts in five minutes.
562
00:28:59,696 --> 00:29:01,322
Thanks, Coach.
We won't let you down.
563
00:29:01,407 --> 00:29:02,865
Well, come on. Go!
564
00:29:02,950 --> 00:29:04,992
Those are on backwards.
565
00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,916
I was pretty sure
Artie's legs don't work.
566
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,128
- Did you get a leg transplant?
- Nope. My teammates can push
my chair like a battering ram.
567
00:29:15,212 --> 00:29:16,754
Yep. There's no rules
against it. We checked.
568
00:29:16,839 --> 00:29:19,215
- And I have Britney Spears to thank.
- You're welcome.
569
00:29:19,299 --> 00:29:21,175
Britney plus nitrous gave me
an amazing idea.
570
00:29:21,301 --> 00:29:24,929
And it gave me the nerve
to tell Coach Beiste that Finn and I
really want to be on the team.
571
00:29:25,013 --> 00:29:27,348
- Wait. You're back
on the football team?
- Yeah.
572
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:30,059
Suddenly you're
way hotter to me. Weird.
573
00:29:30,144 --> 00:29:33,312
Wait. I don't get it.
How come everyone's having
Britney Spears fantasies?
574
00:29:33,397 --> 00:29:35,565
The nitrous oxide
dentists use
is a mild hallucinogen.
575
00:29:35,649 --> 00:29:37,567
Studies have proven that
it induces vivid dreams...
576
00:29:37,651 --> 00:29:39,360
often the last thing
the patient thinks of.
577
00:29:39,445 --> 00:29:41,779
The subconscious moves
to the forefront. Since
we've all been thinking...
578
00:29:41,864 --> 00:29:43,906
so much about Britney,
it only stands to reason.
579
00:29:43,991 --> 00:29:47,285
- Okay, guys. Listen up.
- Mr. Schue, if I may...
580
00:29:47,411 --> 00:29:50,538
Kurt, I overheard what you guys
were just talking about,
and I know what you're gonna say.
581
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,582
The answer is no.
582
00:29:52,666 --> 00:29:55,751
- No, I'm not gonna
stand in the way anymore.
583
00:29:55,878 --> 00:29:59,547
If you guys want to do Britney
at this year's homecoming assembly,
I'm fine with it.
584
00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:00,882
Good.
Yes!
585
00:30:01,008 --> 00:30:03,301
I know. Oh.
586
00:30:03,385 --> 00:30:05,428
And, more than that,
587
00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:08,139
I am going to perform with you.
588
00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:12,226
Right?
589
00:30:19,776 --> 00:30:22,487
I always thought
the boys' locker room
would be all sexy,
590
00:30:22,571 --> 00:30:24,572
but actually smells
like feet in here.
591
00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:26,908
Oh, Rachel,
you can't be in here.
592
00:30:26,992 --> 00:30:28,910
You changed back
to your old clothes.
593
00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:32,497
I just want you to know
that I heard everything
that you said...
594
00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:36,375
and that I respect your needs,
and I'll do anything to
make you feel safe and happy.
595
00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:38,002
Cool.
596
00:30:38,128 --> 00:30:40,254
Well, thanks.
I gotta go.
Wait.
597
00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:42,715
I mean,
598
00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:45,843
d-don't you want to make me
feel safe and happy too?
599
00:30:45,928 --> 00:30:48,179
Well, yeah. Yeah. Sure.
600
00:30:48,263 --> 00:30:50,973
Wait. Wait. Do you want me
to quit football?
601
00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:53,851
Look. How am I supposed to trust
that you're not just gonna
stray again?
602
00:30:53,936 --> 00:30:57,813
Remember your little fling
with Brittany and Santana? I do.
603
00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:59,482
All right.
Let's face it, Finn.
604
00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:03,152
The only way that this
relationship is gonna work
is if we're both losers.
605
00:31:03,237 --> 00:31:05,238
Okay. Come here.
606
00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:10,034
This is how it's gonna happen.
I'm gonna be quarterback again.
607
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:14,080
Then I'm gonna throw a touchdown
in our first game and then
point to you in the stands...
608
00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:16,666
so that everybody in the school
knows you're my girlfriend.
609
00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:20,086
All right?
It's very romantic, but-
610
00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:23,130
I don't know.
611
00:31:25,509 --> 00:31:29,387
Rachel, you can't ask me
to choose between
you and football.
612
00:31:29,471 --> 00:31:31,180
Well, I am.
613
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,031
Why don't you sit at the top
and wave your big foamy finger.
614
00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:51,325
Yeah? Up there.
615
00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,327
It's so, so exciting!
616
00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:57,873
You know, I can get you
backstage if you want.
Oh. Hey.
617
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,001
Hey.
You're all dressed up.
618
00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:01,961
You look like a cast member
of Kids Incorporated.
619
00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:05,965
I really want to loosen up a bit,
so I'm helping
the kids do Britney.
620
00:32:06,091 --> 00:32:08,092
Outrageous, right?
Yeah.
621
00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:10,761
Showtime.
622
00:32:12,306 --> 00:32:14,515
Sit down. There's nothing
to stand up and cheer about.
623
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,183
Hey, Coach.
624
00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:19,854
The Glee Club's doing
Britney Spears for the assembly.
I just found out.
625
00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:25,192
Becky, you're on red alert.
If you see any awkward
teenage frottage,
626
00:32:25,277 --> 00:32:27,737
you perform that
citizen's arrest
we practiced.
627
00:32:27,821 --> 00:32:29,363
Got it, Coach.
628
00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:36,370
Quiet, please, children.
Quiet now.
629
00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:40,082
First, students who ate
the ravioli today...
630
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:46,172
and are not up to date
on their tetanus shots
should see the nurse immediately.
631
00:32:46,256 --> 00:32:49,342
Welcome to our
homecoming pep assembly.
632
00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:53,262
Because of last week's
grisly train derailment,
633
00:32:53,347 --> 00:32:57,808
the Dulcimer Club is on hiatus
until further notice.
634
00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,603
But do we ever
have a treat for you.
635
00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:04,315
Fresh off their last-place
finish at the regionals,
636
00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:07,860
please give it up
for the New Directions.
637
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,119
Baby, can't you see
638
00:33:17,204 --> 00:33:18,954
I'm calling
639
00:33:19,039 --> 00:33:22,500
A guy like you
should wear a warning
640
00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:24,418
You're dangerous
641
00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:26,462
I'm lovin' it
642
00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:27,963
I love Britney Spears!
643
00:33:29,633 --> 00:33:33,052
Too high
Can't come down
644
00:33:33,136 --> 00:33:37,431
- Losing my head
Spinning round and round
645
00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:42,186
Oh, do you feel me now
646
00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:46,899
With a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
647
00:33:46,983 --> 00:33:49,151
- I want to be that hot.
- You're toxic
648
00:33:49,236 --> 00:33:50,403
I'm slipping under
649
00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:53,948
With a taste
of a poison paradise
650
00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,866
I'm addicted to you
651
00:33:55,951 --> 00:33:58,703
Don't you know
that you're toxic
652
00:34:00,914 --> 00:34:05,835
And I love what you do
Don't you know
that you're toxic
653
00:34:06,545 --> 00:34:08,921
Take it off!
654
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:15,052
- Yes!
- It's getting late
655
00:34:15,137 --> 00:34:16,971
To give you up
656
00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:20,433
I took a sip
from my devil's cup
657
00:34:20,517 --> 00:34:24,478
Slowly
It's taking over me
658
00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:31,610
Too high
Can't come down
It's in the air
659
00:34:31,695 --> 00:34:34,822
- Mr. Schue,
let me be your Britney!
- And it's all around
660
00:34:36,283 --> 00:34:39,285
Oh, can you feel me now
661
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:41,245
Oh
662
00:34:41,329 --> 00:34:44,498
With a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
663
00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:46,500
- On a ride
- You're toxic
664
00:34:46,585 --> 00:34:48,669
I'm slipping under
665
00:34:48,754 --> 00:34:51,839
- Oh!
- With a taste
of a poison paradise
666
00:34:51,923 --> 00:34:54,759
- I'm addicted to you
- It's so sexy!
667
00:34:54,843 --> 00:34:56,260
It's so sexy!
668
00:34:58,889 --> 00:35:01,599
I'm addicted to you
669
00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:04,143
- Mr. Schue, I want your babies!
- Intoxicate me now
670
00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:05,978
Don't stop doing that!
671
00:35:06,062 --> 00:35:09,398
Don't stop doing that!
Yes! Yes!
672
00:35:09,483 --> 00:35:11,025
I think I'm ready now
673
00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:12,943
- Yeah!
- Intoxicate me now
674
00:35:13,069 --> 00:35:15,112
With your lovin' now
Uh-oh.
675
00:35:15,197 --> 00:35:16,572
I think I'm ready
676
00:35:16,656 --> 00:35:18,157
I think I'm ready now
677
00:35:18,241 --> 00:35:21,160
It's a Britney Spears sex riot.
678
00:35:37,177 --> 00:35:39,303
Run the other way!
679
00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:07,665
How you doing, Sue?
680
00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:11,126
Not sure if you heard, William,
but my spinal column
was ruptured in a sex riot.
681
00:36:11,211 --> 00:36:14,046
Sue, you pulled the alarm.
Everything was going fine.
682
00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:16,257
You know, William,
that's what one
Hubert Humphrey said...
683
00:36:16,341 --> 00:36:19,593
back in 1968 at the start
of the Democratic
National Convention.
684
00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:21,804
But then hippies put acid
in everyone's bourbon,
685
00:36:21,888 --> 00:36:24,974
and when an updraft
revealed Lady Bird Johnson's
tramp stamp...
686
00:36:25,058 --> 00:36:27,309
and tattoos
above her ovaries,
687
00:36:27,394 --> 00:36:29,562
Mayor Richard J. Daley
became so incensed
with sexual rage...
688
00:36:29,646 --> 00:36:31,647
that he punched
his own wife in the face...
689
00:36:31,731 --> 00:36:33,649
and spent the next hour
screaming "Sex party!"...
690
00:36:33,733 --> 00:36:36,443
into the microphones
of all three major networks.
691
00:36:36,528 --> 00:36:38,320
Okay. I'm pretty sure
none of that happened.
692
00:36:38,405 --> 00:36:41,615
You can expect a call very soon
from my lawyer... Gloria Allred.
693
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:44,410
I'm gonna sue
the pants off you, Will.
694
00:36:44,494 --> 00:36:48,831
I'm gonna take your house,
your car, your extensive
collection of vests.
695
00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:52,459
I mean, seriously.
You wear more vests
than the cast of Blossom.
696
00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:55,754
And I'll see you in court.
697
00:37:00,093 --> 00:37:01,677
Emma.
698
00:37:03,638 --> 00:37:05,848
Look. What I did was
a little weird. I know that.
699
00:37:05,932 --> 00:37:08,267
It was inappropriate for me
to do Britney with the kids.
700
00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:11,645
I just thought you wanted me
to be less uptight.
701
00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:14,648
Will, I just
wanted you to relax.
702
00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:18,319
You know,
not stop being you.
703
00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:22,114
I know you're frustrated.
704
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:24,116
You know,
Terri's still on your case.
705
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,452
You lost at regionals.
Glee's still the bottom pickle
of the barrel.
706
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:29,246
You and Carl.
Yeah.
707
00:37:29,915 --> 00:37:31,665
Me and Carl.
708
00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,751
Especially me and Carl.
709
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:35,669
Look.
710
00:37:35,754 --> 00:37:38,339
Have you ever noticed
that Britney Spears
only makes great music...
711
00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:41,675
when she's not
chasing down paparazzi?
712
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,553
She can't just swallow
a grenade and let her talent
explode all over the wall.
713
00:37:44,638 --> 00:37:46,555
She's gotta rein it in,
just like you do.
714
00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:49,266
You're such
a great teacher, Will.
Ah...
715
00:37:49,351 --> 00:37:51,185
No. Probably the best
in the whole school.
716
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:53,729
So why would you want
to be someone else...
717
00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:55,940
when the someone
that you already are
is so amazing?
718
00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:58,525
Because the boring
someone I already am...
719
00:38:00,070 --> 00:38:01,737
wasn't good enough for you.
720
00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:07,576
Hey. Where you going?
721
00:38:08,662 --> 00:38:11,163
To return that car.
722
00:38:13,166 --> 00:38:16,085
U.S. History? Crap.
I forgot I was taking that.
723
00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:17,795
Congrats, Finn.
724
00:38:17,879 --> 00:38:21,590
You're back on the team.
I'm head cheerleader again.
725
00:38:21,675 --> 00:38:24,259
Some kind of symmetry.
Don't you think?
726
00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:27,680
With all the nastiness
between you and I behind us,
727
00:38:27,764 --> 00:38:29,515
I think we should be together.
728
00:38:29,599 --> 00:38:31,892
We'd be a shoo-in for
homecoming king and queen.
729
00:38:31,977 --> 00:38:37,356
So, what do you say?
You and me, 8:00, Breadsticks?
730
00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:41,652
Look. I'd be lying if I said
I didn't have feelings for you.
731
00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:43,487
Probably always will.
732
00:38:46,616 --> 00:38:49,201
But I'm not gonna
get back together with you.
733
00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:52,830
There's someone else,
and you know who that is.
I'm asking you to respect that.
734
00:38:53,999 --> 00:38:55,541
I'm sorry.
735
00:39:05,885 --> 00:39:08,762
I said what you wanted me to.
He shot me down.
736
00:39:10,015 --> 00:39:11,557
So, congrats.
737
00:39:11,641 --> 00:39:13,976
Looks like
he really loves you.
738
00:39:19,607 --> 00:39:22,026
All right. Rachel?
739
00:39:22,110 --> 00:39:24,236
I have a song that I prepared
for the class.
740
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,280
Sorry, Rachel. No Britney.
741
00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:29,116
I'm really happy that her music
has inspired so many of you,
742
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,994
even if that inspiration
was brought about
by a dangerous narcotic.
743
00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:34,038
And I think
we've all come to...
744
00:39:34,122 --> 00:39:37,666
appreciate
her music and celebrity
so much more this week.
745
00:39:37,751 --> 00:39:40,544
But honestly,
she's just not us.
746
00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:44,339
I am devastated.
I can't believe we only did
one Britney number.
747
00:39:44,424 --> 00:39:47,593
I was actually gonna
do something from our original
assignment last week...
748
00:39:47,677 --> 00:39:51,722
adult contemporary...
but this is just a little bit
more young adult.
749
00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:53,182
Oh.
750
00:39:53,266 --> 00:39:55,184
Great, Rachel.
Well, let's hear it.
751
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,648
I'd like to dedicate
this song to my boyfriend.
752
00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:05,110
Finn, I was wrong.
753
00:40:05,195 --> 00:40:07,154
I shouldn't
try to control you.
754
00:40:08,323 --> 00:40:10,407
I've just... I've never been
this happy before,
755
00:40:10,492 --> 00:40:15,913
and I realize that I was trying
to hold on to how you were
making me feel so much...
756
00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:18,832
that I was strangling you
in my hands
like a little bird.
757
00:40:18,917 --> 00:40:21,919
I get now that,
in order for this
relationship to work,
758
00:40:22,003 --> 00:40:25,464
I have to open up my hands
and let you fly free.
759
00:40:25,548 --> 00:40:27,424
Finn can fly?
760
00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:29,051
Really?
Wait.
761
00:40:29,135 --> 00:40:31,470
I thought I was
the only one getting
the solos from now on.
762
00:40:31,554 --> 00:40:34,598
Next week I'm going to be
performing a musical number
by Kesha.
763
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:36,850
Shh.
764
00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,402
When I was younger
765
00:40:47,487 --> 00:40:51,657
I saw my daddy cry
766
00:40:51,741 --> 00:40:54,368
And curse at the wind
767
00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:59,373
He broke his own heart
as I watched
768
00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:04,670
As he tried to reassemble it
769
00:41:06,089 --> 00:41:10,008
And my mama swore she would
770
00:41:10,093 --> 00:41:15,139
Never let herself forget
771
00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:20,102
And that was the day
that I promised
772
00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:22,771
I'd never sing of love
773
00:41:22,856 --> 00:41:25,566
If it does not exist
774
00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:27,025
But, darling
775
00:41:27,110 --> 00:41:47,880
You are the only exception
776
00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:52,926
Oh, oh
777
00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:57,389
Oh, oh
778
00:41:57,473 --> 00:42:00,809
I've got a tight grip
on reality
779
00:42:00,894 --> 00:42:07,983
But I can't let go
of what's in front
of me here
780
00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:13,447
I know you're leaving
in the morning
when you wake up
781
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:17,534
Leave me with
some kind of proof
it's not a dream
782
00:42:17,619 --> 00:42:22,998
Oh, oh, oh, oh
783
00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:45,312
You are the only exception
784
00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:55,155
You are
the only exception
785
00:42:55,240 --> 00:43:01,203
And I'm on my way
to believing
786
00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:13,257
And I'm on my way
to believing
787
00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:54,631
ENGLISH - US - PSDH
63947
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