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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:03,503 Here's what you missed on Glee. 2 00:00:03,587 --> 00:00:05,797 Emma had a crush on Will, but Will was married. 3 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:08,091 Will had a crush on Emma. He got a divorce and kissed her, 4 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,759 but now she's dating some dude named Carl. 5 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,386 - He's my dentist. - It's a total bummer. 6 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:13,805 - Tina told Artie to take a hike. - You're a terrible boyfriend. 7 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:16,933 Then she got the hots for Mike Chang. Now Artie's obsessed with getting her back. 8 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,643 - I want abs. - So much drama. 9 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:21,145 That's what you missed on Glee. 10 00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:26,234 All right. Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is? 11 00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:28,736 He discovered America. 12 00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:32,156 Close. He did write an iconic chart topper... "Sailing." 13 00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,075 I have a bad feeling about this lesson. 14 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,785 Never heard of him. Don't want to hear about him. 15 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,746 Now, some people think of the term "easy listening" as a bad thing, 16 00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:40,998 but I'm gonna let this music speak for itself. 17 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:43,418 You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones, 18 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,920 and you guys are really good about putting it all out there, 19 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:50,174 but really good music can also be controlled and restrained. 20 00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,301 It doesn't have to attack an audience. 21 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,262 It can let them come to you. 22 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,723 How can you get caught between the moon and New York City? 23 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,391 They're like a hundred miles apart. 24 00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:01,269 Mr. Schue, if I may, I think I speak for all of us... 25 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,896 when I say that it's not that we don't love the idea... 26 00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:06,691 of spending a week on this silky-smooth adult contemporary. 27 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:10,319 It's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to. 28 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,364 However, there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign... 29 00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:15,783 that has swelled to over five members. 30 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:19,412 The ardent demand? That this week, at the fall homecoming assembly, 31 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:24,292 the McKinley High School Glee Club perform a number by... wait for it... 32 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,877 Ms. Britney Spears. 33 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,129 Yo, Spears is fierce, yo. Yeah. 34 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,131 Whoo! 35 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,717 Sorry. Kurt. Kurt. Sorry. No. 36 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,303 No. No. I don't think she's a very good role model. 37 00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:37,346 But, Mr. Schue, we kind of grew up with her. 38 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,390 She's literally why I wanted to become a performer. 39 00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:42,351 - I don't want to do Britney. - Why no Britney, Brittany? 40 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,229 Because my name is also Britney Spears. 41 00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:47,064 - What? - What the hell is she talking about? 42 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:49,525 My middle name is Susan. My last name is Pierce. 43 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,987 That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany "Spierce." 44 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,615 I've lived my entire life in Britney Spears's shadow. 45 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:58,785 I will never be as talented or as famous. 46 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:02,079 I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where... 47 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:06,250 I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears. 48 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:09,504 Well, there you have it, guys. 49 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:12,381 It's been decided. No Britney. Sorry. 50 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,300 Thanks, Britt. Thanks a lot. 51 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,469 Leave Brittany alone. 52 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,972 Thank you for understanding. It's been a hard road. 53 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,766 Um, can we move on? 54 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,810 Yes. 55 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,062 Let's talk about Michael Bolton. 56 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,859 I know that Britney's had some issues in the past, 57 00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:34,862 but I actually think it's quite admirable the way she's gotten her life back together. 58 00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:38,866 Hasn't she had, what, like three number one hits in the past two years? 59 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,369 She's a single mom raising two kids. 60 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,163 I think she's the perfect symbol for the possibility of rebirth. 61 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,832 I ca... 62 00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,543 See, that's your problem, Will. You're too uptight. 63 00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:50,461 - Oh, you're calling me uptight? - Mm-hmm. 64 00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:52,463 The woman who buys hand sanitizer by the barrel? 65 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:55,508 I admit I have had some control issues in the past, 66 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,468 but Carl's been helping me with all of that. 67 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:58,761 Really? Mm-hmm. 68 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,347 Wow. Um, like how? 69 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:05,142 So, the other day he made me buy the green grapes and the red grapes at the market. 70 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,520 Then we just mixed them together in a bowl, and we just ate them. 71 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:10,439 - It was madness. Sheer madness. - Wow. 72 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,235 You know what? That's fine. Make fun all you want, 73 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,737 but it's a start, and I am incredibly grateful for it. 74 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,406 Hey now. Am I interrupting? 75 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:21,784 Carl, no. Hi. What are you doing here? 76 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,537 I thought I'd surprise you and take you to lunch. 77 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:28,791 Oh, I love that look of instant panic every time I try to change your routine. 78 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:29,959 Adorable. 79 00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:33,754 - And you must be Will. Yeah. 80 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,840 Emma told me you're the cutest guy in school. 81 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,842 - Will, you grind your teeth? 82 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,719 I... I don't think so. 83 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,596 - Damn it. - What? What's wrong? 84 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,556 Another teenager needs a root canal. I swear, 85 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,559 not one student in this school is gonna have their teeth by the time they're 30. 86 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,519 Oh, the sugar kids eat today. 87 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,730 Carl has been trying to get the school board to let him come... 88 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:53,441 do a seminar on good dental hygiene, but they've been dragging their feet. 89 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,111 Why don't you come talk to Glee Club? Well... 90 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,238 - That would be a dream, Will. - Yeah. 91 00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:00,781 Yeah. Will, that would be amazing. 92 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:03,326 I'm usually pretty tight about our rehearsal schedule, 93 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,704 but I think I can loosen the reins a bit for Carl. 94 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,874 Kids can't sing without teeth, right? 95 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:13,336 No. They'd be... They wouldn't be singing. They'd be gumming. 96 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,257 This jacket! 97 00:04:18,342 --> 00:04:20,343 Hey. Hey! Give me that back! I earned that! 98 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,553 This jacket belongs to people who are actually on the team. 99 00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:25,556 But you know what? We gonna restyle it to represent the obvious... 100 00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:28,434 duality in your sexuality. 101 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,189 Ooh. 102 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,734 Trying to swing at me? Swingin', huh? 103 00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,819 - Come on. Swing at me. - I love it. Come on! 104 00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:40,655 - Come on. Let's go! - Sorry to interrupt. 105 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:43,282 I'm actually glad you're here to see this. 106 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:46,494 Finn, I just wanted to apologize for getting you kicked off the football team. 107 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,245 I just hope there's no hard feelings. 108 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,416 - So, what are you guys talking about? - Dude, take him. 109 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,961 This wheelchair kid is in the way. What if I knock him over? 110 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:58,339 Ah, there's something not right about hitting a kid in a wheelchair. 111 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:01,759 The only thing that's saving you right now is my moral code. 112 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,136 I don't hit crippled people, but I'll be back. 113 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:06,806 - We're gonna be back. 114 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:15,147 All right. So here's the deal. You chew this little capsule. 115 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,192 If there's any plaque you missed, the dye will stick to it and turn your teeth blue. 116 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,653 Can I just say that you are the hottest dentist I've ever seen. 117 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:24,156 - Yeah, I get that all the time. - No. Like, seriously, you can totally drill me whenever... 118 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,951 Santana. Okay. Let's stay focused. 119 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:30,204 Rock and roll, Ems. And besides, this guy... 120 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:33,165 Now, this guy's pretty easy on the eyes too, huh? 121 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,292 And you know what? No matter how hard I tried, 122 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,211 I bet I couldn't sing and dance like him. 123 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:41,132 Ah, probably not. All right. Let's take a look at those chompers, huh? 124 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,634 Before we chew, I would just like to alert Mr. Schue... 125 00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:46,470 that there's been a new addition to the Britney Spears Facebook campaign. 126 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,180 Sorry. The answer's still no. 127 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,516 Capsules, guys. 128 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,435 Yes. Chew away. Chew, chew. 129 00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,324 Oh, my God. 130 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,160 What? 131 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,162 Ah! 132 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,622 I don't understand. I floss between classes. 133 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:16,292 Well, sometimes it's genetics. I think I might be better... 134 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,461 at brushing and flossing if I could see myself in the mirror. 135 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,546 - There you go, blue tooth. I don't brush my teeth. 136 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,631 I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. 137 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,092 I was pretty sure Dr Pepper was a dentist. 138 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:29,930 I got this, Em. Some deep bleaching, little scaling, you'll be as good as new. 139 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,974 All right. Open up. 140 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,101 Close. 141 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,020 Close again. 142 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,901 This room looks like the one on that spaceship where I got probed. 143 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,986 So, Brittany, you, uh... 144 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,405 You have the worst teeth I've ever seen. 145 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:50,076 You have cavities in every single tooth. This has got to be some sort of record. 146 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,161 Please don't pull all my teeth. 147 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,206 When I smile I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs. 148 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:58,542 I'm gonna put you under with a little general anesthesia. You won't feel a thing. 149 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,920 - Like roofies? - Yeah. Totally. 150 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,589 I'll put on Pandora. 151 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,342 And you just relax. 152 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,429 Oh, no. Not Britney. 153 00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:25,069 All you people look at me like I'm a little girl 154 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:29,907 Well, did you ever think it'd be okay for me to step into this world 155 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:34,161 Always saying "Little girl, don't step into the club" 156 00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:37,790 Well, I'm just trying to find out why 'cause dancing's what I love 157 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,251 - Now watch me - Get it, get it Get it, get it 158 00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,753 - Ooh - Get it, get it - Do you like it 159 00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:44,672 - Whoa - Get it, get it Get it, get it 160 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,590 - Oh - It just feels good 161 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:51,887 I'm a slave for you 162 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,722 I cannot hold it 163 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,391 I cannot control it 164 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:59,937 I'm a slave for you 165 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:01,981 I won't deny it 166 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:04,316 I'm not trying to hide it 167 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:08,863 I know I may come off quiet may come off shy 168 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:12,867 But I feel like talking feel like dancing when I see this guy 169 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:17,830 What's practical is logical What the hell, who cares 170 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:22,001 All I know is I'm so happy when you're dancing there 171 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,419 Baby 172 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,881 Don't you wanna dance up on me 173 00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,299 I just wanna dance next to you 174 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,759 To another time and place 175 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,219 Oh, baby 176 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:36,056 Don't you wanna dance up on me 177 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,767 - Are you ready - Leaving behind my name and age 178 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,687 - Let's go - Get it, get it Get it, get it 179 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,522 - Ooh - Get it, get it Get it, get it 180 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,816 - Whoa - Get it, get it Get it, get it 181 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:51,697 - I'm a slave for you - Here we go now 182 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,408 - Here we go now - I cannot hold it 183 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,036 - I cannot control it - Do you like it when I move 184 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:01,874 - I'm a slave for you - Here we go 185 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,292 I won't deny it 186 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,127 Yeah I'm not trying to hide it 187 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,170 Yeah 188 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,423 - Like that - Brittany? 189 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:12,593 Brittany, wake up. All right. You're gonna feel a little nauseous. 190 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,805 - I petted a snake. 191 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,557 Rock on. 192 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,559 I'm gonna have to see you tomorrow. 193 00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:21,852 You have 68 cavities. 194 00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:23,687 I couldn't get 'em all today. 195 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,773 Can I have a blue toothbrush? 196 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,983 I'll give you a hundred toothbrushes. Okay. 197 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,528 Are you a cat? 198 00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:34,490 Are you all right? You seem a little down. 199 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,617 Didn't you like the banana bread I baked you? 200 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,870 Yeah. It was awesome. It's just- 201 00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:42,957 How do you feel about me not being on the football team anymore? 202 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,918 I'm actually kind of happy about it. Then I don't have to fantasize... 203 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:49,296 about what song I'd sing at your bedside if you were in a coma. 204 00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:50,714 Yeah. 205 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,716 But I'm just so not cool now, you know? 206 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:56,262 Well, it's just less of a chance of you running off with some cheerleader. 207 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,430 Wait. So you want me to feel bad about myself? 208 00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:01,642 No. I just- I want to be the only thing that makes you feel good. 209 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,437 I'm just trying to be honest. Hey, dwarf. 210 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:08,524 Anyone ever tell you you dress like one of the bait girls on To Catch a Predator? 211 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,276 Also, I'm more talented than you. 212 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,112 You could have defended me. 213 00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:14,905 Well, Santana has a point. 214 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,992 I'm just trying to be honest. 215 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,917 So, Santana, I'm looking at your charts and your X-rays. 216 00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:29,461 - Your teeth are perfect. - That's right. 217 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,964 Well, I can't just put you under. 218 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,966 Anesthesia isn't something to joke about. It's serious. 219 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,761 Okay, listen. My dad's a doctor. And not a "tooth doctor." 220 00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,431 A real one. He, like, went to college or something. 221 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:43,183 Which means I have a killer health care plan that pretty much pays for everything. 222 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,227 So get up in my grille, 223 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,981 'cause Britts and I wants to get our anesthesia on. 224 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,859 - It's totally cool. - Well, okay. 225 00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,445 - I guess I can give you a superstrong bleaching. - Mmm. 226 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,281 - Should I turn the radio on? We've got it covered. 227 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,492 All my people in the crowd 228 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,411 Grab a partner Take it down 229 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,413 It's me against the music 230 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,081 - It's just me - And me 231 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,916 - Yeah - Come on 232 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,376 Ho 233 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,755 Hey, Brittany 234 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,799 - Are you ready - Uh-huh 235 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,510 - Are you - Ooh 236 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,429 No one cares 237 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,598 It's whippin' my hair It's pullin' my waist 238 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,518 - To hell with stairs - The sweat is drippin' all over my face 239 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,103 - To hell - And no one's there 240 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,481 I'm the only one dancin' up in this place 241 00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,358 - It's just me - Tonight I'm here 242 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,318 Feel the beat of the drum Gotta get with that bass 243 00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,070 I'm up against the speaker tryin' to take on the music 244 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,696 It's like a competition Me against the beat 245 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,823 - I wanna get in the zone - Get in the zone 246 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,326 - I wanna get in the zone - I wanna get in the zone 247 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,370 If you really wanna battle saddle up and get your rhythm 248 00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:47,081 Tryin' to hit it, chic-a-tah In a minute I'm-a take you on 249 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,083 - I'm-a take you on - I'm-a take you on 250 00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:50,292 Hey, hey, hey 251 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,252 All my people on the floor 252 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,546 - Let me see you dance - Let me see ya 253 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,673 All my people wantin' more 254 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,467 Let me see you dance I wanna see ya 255 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,469 All my people round and round 256 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,554 - Let me see you dance - Let me see ya 257 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,431 All my people in the crowd 258 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,475 - Let me see you dance - I wanna see ya 259 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,560 Get on the floor 260 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,063 - Baby, lose control - Yeah 261 00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,357 - Just work your body - Uh-huh 262 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,317 - And let it go - Let it go 263 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:19,113 If you wanna party just grab somebody 264 00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:23,158 Hey, Brittany we can dance all night long 265 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,202 Hey, Brittany 266 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:28,038 You say you wanna lose control 267 00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:31,166 Come over here I got somethin' to show ya 268 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,293 Sexy lady 269 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:36,171 I'd rather see you bare your soul 270 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,549 If you think you're so hot better show me what you got 271 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,384 All my people in the crowd 272 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,386 Let me see you dance 273 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,680 Come on, Brittany Lose control 274 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,515 Watch you take it down 275 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,725 Get on the floor 276 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,561 Baby, lose control 277 00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:55,274 Just work your body and let it go 278 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:58,986 If you wanna party just grab somebody 279 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:02,614 Hey, Brittany we can dance all night long 280 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:06,660 - All my people on the floor - Said let me see you dance 281 00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:10,622 - All my people in the crowd - Said let me see you dance 282 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:14,251 - All my people in the crowd - Let me see you dance 283 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,211 Come on, Brittany Lose control 284 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,380 Watch you take it down 285 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,217 - You're really hot. - You're sweet. 286 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:25,220 And your breath smells really good. So does yours. 287 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,806 And you know why? 'Cause this is a fantasy. 288 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:30,559 - Wow. 289 00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,189 ...making Christopher Cross a Golden Globe, 290 00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,900 Oscar and five-time Grammy award winner. 291 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,902 - Brittany. - I would just like to say... 292 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:43,238 that, from now on, I demand to have every solo in Glee Club. 293 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,157 - What? - When I had my teeth cleaned, 294 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,367 I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy. 295 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,828 I sang and danced better than her. 296 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,997 Now I realize what a powerful woman I truly am. 297 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,708 I went with her, and I had a Britney fantasy too. 298 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:59,087 Although now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not really sure how our fantasies combined. 299 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,840 - That doesn't make any sense. - You see, Mr. Schue? I told you. 300 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:05,844 Britney Spears busted our Britt out of her everyday fragmented haze of confusion... 301 00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:08,055 and gave her the confidence to step up and perform. 302 00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,307 I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now. 303 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,060 It's Brittany, bitch. 304 00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:16,313 Guys, we're not doing Britney Spears, and that's that. 305 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:19,733 Mr. Schue, you are letting your own personal issues get in the way of something... 306 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:22,903 that we are all telling you we really want to do. 307 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,030 I mean, this club regularly pays tribute to pop culture, 308 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,157 and Britney Spears is pop culture. 309 00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,785 - To suggest otherwise is heretical. - Kurt! 310 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,330 - I'm done talking about this. - Geez! Let loose a little, would you? 311 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,749 Stop being so fricking uptight all the time! 312 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,753 Kurt. 313 00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:44,758 I'll see you in the principal's office. Uh-oh. 314 00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,057 Ahhh. Ahhh. 315 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,059 Ahhh Ahhh 316 00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:56,937 317 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,773 All right. Evidence of some grinding. 318 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:03,193 I'll set you up with a night guard. Fantastic. Happy to do it. 319 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:06,154 - All right. Can we stop this right now? - What? 320 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,824 Well, this is clearly awkward for the two of us. 321 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,201 All right. Let's talk it out. 322 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,621 Bro to bro. 323 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,498 Fine, bro. 324 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:19,710 I still have feelings for Emma. Strong feelings. 325 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,212 So do I. The difference is she chose me. 326 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:24,673 Now, I don't know what's gonna happen with Emma and I, but... 327 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,842 I do ask that you back off until we figure it out. 328 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,011 What if I tell you I don't think I could do that? 329 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:33,181 Rinse. 330 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,059 Will, put yourself in my shoes. 331 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,437 I mean, say it doesn't work out between the two of us, 332 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,439 and she chooses to go back to you. 333 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,983 How would you feel if I continued to come after her? 334 00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,695 Okay, fine. I'll back off. 335 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,531 But the second she starts leaning my way, I am back in. Deal? 336 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:53,368 Deal. Now open back up. I want to continue this examination. 337 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,622 Ahhh. No more ahhhs. 338 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,875 You know what? I got just the thing for you. 339 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,175 - Candy? - You gotta loosen up and bang, bro. 340 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:11,386 I mean, you're grinding those beautiful little teeth down to nubs. 341 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,430 I honestly think that's why you and Emma didn't work out. 342 00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,641 There's not an impulsive bone between the two of you. 343 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,393 - And you think eating candy's gonna change that? - You gotta get ridiculous, bro. 344 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:21,021 You gotta just start doing things that feel good for no reason. 345 00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:25,192 You know, I used to get up at the same time every day and have the same eggs. 346 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,736 One day I'm driving the hybrid to work, past the Chevy dealership. 347 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,822 The new Corvettes had just come in. So I stop right on the spot, 348 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,116 I make a U-turn, and I buy one. 349 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,577 Now I take the top down, take Emma for a spin. 350 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,413 She doesn't even care if her hair gets messed up. You follow me? 351 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,670 Hey, Rachel. Hey, Mr. Schue. 352 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,381 You all set? You need me to stay with you or anything? 353 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,341 No. I've been taking herbal anti-anxiety pills... 354 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:52,302 and reading the unauthorized biography of Britney Spears to stay calm. 355 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:55,847 I look forward to the day the paparazzi provokes me and I attack them. 356 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,475 Are you okay? Did you have a cavity or something? 357 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:01,561 - Is that candy? - I'm fine. 358 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,106 Good luck. 359 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,338 Oh, baby, baby 360 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,135 Oh, baby, baby 361 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:41,810 Oh, baby, baby How was I supposed to know 362 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,440 That something wasn't right here 363 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,650 Oh, baby, baby 364 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:53,697 I shouldn't have let you go 365 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:56,575 And now you're out of sight, yeah 366 00:17:56,659 --> 00:18:00,954 Show me how you want it to be 367 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:03,373 Tell me, baby 368 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:07,127 'Cause I need to know now what we've got 369 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:12,340 My loneliness is killing me and I 370 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:16,219 I must confess I still believe 371 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,512 Still believe 372 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:21,433 When I'm not with you I lose my mind 373 00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:25,437 Give me a sign 374 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,148 Hit me, baby one more time 375 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,858 Oh, baby, baby 376 00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,236 Yeah, hey 377 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:34,946 Oh, baby, baby 378 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,324 Yeah, hey, yeah 379 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,035 Oh, baby, baby 380 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:44,623 How was I supposed to know 381 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,837 Oh, pretty baby 382 00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:57,469 I shouldn't have let you go 383 00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:02,516 I must confess that my loneliness 384 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,560 Is killing me now 385 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:09,397 Don't you know I still believe 386 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:13,026 When I'm not with you I lose my mind 387 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,238 Give me a sign 388 00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:19,699 Hit me, baby one more time 389 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,368 Rachel? 390 00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:23,495 Rachel, wake up. 391 00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,664 You Glee kids are impossible to work on. 392 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:29,042 You're always moving around when you're under. 393 00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,752 Is this real life? 394 00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,812 Hey. Take my hoodie. You look cold. 395 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:53,567 It's okay. Wait. You mean you don't like my new look? Don't you think it's a bit much? 396 00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:57,195 I think that guy just broke up with his girlfriend over there just so he could stare at you. 397 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,866 I'm just doing what you told me. Besides, it's not like when I went all sad-clown hooker... 398 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:03,076 and put on that ridiculous Grease catsuit. 399 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,704 This is just like my regular look with the volume turned up. 400 00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:10,000 Ooh, baby, you can hit me as many times as you want, as long as you got that on. 401 00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:12,627 How come all the gay guys always get the hottest chicks? 402 00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,296 Move it! What? 403 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,756 You see what I'm talking about? They're personifying you. 404 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,216 Objectifying. 405 00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,635 Whatever. 406 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,055 Just tell me why it's okay for you to feel safer with me not on the football team, but... 407 00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:27,601 it's not okay for me to feel safer with you in your old reindeer sweaters. 408 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:31,146 Look. I see your point. In order for this relationship to work, we can't control each other. 409 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,065 So you have my blessing... 410 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,818 to rejoin the football team... if you can. 411 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,155 It looks like a Jewish cloud. 412 00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,869 What do you want for her? I'll give you anything. 413 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,955 I'll give you my house. I'll kill my parents, and I'll give you my house. 414 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,250 Wanky, wanky! 415 00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,463 I kind of liked your old car. Oh! 416 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:59,758 That car was a metaphor for everything that was wrong with my life. 417 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,510 My fear of change. 418 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:05,972 That dragging muffler was like the chains of Marley's ghost. 419 00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:10,226 Oh, God. And now they're gone, and I feel like a free man! 420 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,687 By buying the same car as Carl? 421 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,356 His didn't have heated seats. 422 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:19,277 Come on, Emma. I'm just doing everything you said I should do. 423 00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:21,529 I'm loosening up, and... 424 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,157 I feel amazing. 425 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,201 Let's take her for a spin. 426 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,246 Oh, this is my jam. 427 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:33,833 Well, it's not that far to paradise 428 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:36,419 At least it's not for me 429 00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:40,256 And if the wind is right we can sail away 430 00:21:40,341 --> 00:21:42,425 And find tranquillity 431 00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:47,263 - Get out of the car. - Watch this. 432 00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:50,266 I'm taking this back to the dealer. Oh. Hey, home wrecker! 433 00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:52,560 Do I have to remind you that we are divorced? 434 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,021 I am reminded every month when I get my spousal support check... 435 00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:59,359 the one that I know you can't send me if you're buying a car that you can't afford! 436 00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:01,861 Emma. 437 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,614 You know what? Actually, 438 00:22:04,699 --> 00:22:06,658 I think you should keep this car. 439 00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:10,370 You should enjoy it, you know, at least until they repossess it. 440 00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:13,581 But just don't buy any more big-ticket items, okay? 441 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,125 Why is that? 442 00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:18,253 Because someday you are gonna come to your senses, Will, 443 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,964 and you're gonna get over that little miss crazy pants, 444 00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:24,926 and you're gonna come back to the one woman who really knows how to love you. 445 00:22:26,429 --> 00:22:29,597 I just don't want you to have blown all of our savings when you do. 446 00:22:37,815 --> 00:22:39,107 Damn! 447 00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:45,697 Well, Rachel, congratulations. 448 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:48,575 Normally you dress like the fantasy of a perverted Japanese businessman... 449 00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:50,660 with a very dark, specific fetish, 450 00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:52,537 but I actually dig this look. 451 00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:54,497 Yay. Thank you. 452 00:22:54,582 --> 00:22:58,209 I think what Santana's trying to say, Rachel... though I risk expulsion by saying so... 453 00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:01,463 is that it seems Britney Spears has really helped you blossom. 454 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,381 That's all. 455 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,259 Wait. Rachel, is that true? 456 00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:08,678 I mean, you are sort of dressing differently. 457 00:23:08,763 --> 00:23:10,930 - Bouncy, bouncy, bounc... - Hey, hey. 458 00:23:11,015 --> 00:23:14,476 Look. All I know is that I had a very vivid Britney Spears fantasy at the dentist, 459 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:18,146 and since then it's made me feel free to get out of my own way. 460 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:21,691 I think I've just always been afraid to dress like a pretty girl... 461 00:23:21,776 --> 00:23:23,777 because I've never really felt like one before. 462 00:23:23,861 --> 00:23:27,197 Now I realize it's okay to feel that way about yourself every now and then. 463 00:23:27,281 --> 00:23:29,157 Maybe it's a good thing. 464 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,159 It's such a good thing, I can't believe it. 465 00:23:32,661 --> 00:23:34,162 William, a word. 466 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,125 You have got to be kidding me. 467 00:23:39,210 --> 00:23:42,087 I was headed to the library computers late last night... 468 00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:44,547 to score my Cheerios some cheap tickets on one of those... 469 00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:47,300 off-brand airlines with shoddy safety records. 470 00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:51,471 You know, to fly my J.V. Squad, so if the plane did go down, it wouldn't be that big a deal. 471 00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:53,932 But then, horror! 472 00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:56,059 Rachel, are you aware you've never been hotter... 473 00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,061 than you are right now dressed as Britney Spears? 474 00:23:58,145 --> 00:23:59,896 Thank you. 475 00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:02,482 Can I put some clothes on, please? No. 476 00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:05,777 I want you to feel the beads of your own sweaty, depraved stank... 477 00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:07,654 dripping down your butt crack. 478 00:24:07,738 --> 00:24:11,241 Rachel Berry was dressing like Britney Spears, and I was titillated. 479 00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:13,868 Oh, dear God. Please don't ever say that word again. 480 00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,787 Can I go now, please? 481 00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:19,332 You're gonna have to turn around when I stand up, 482 00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:21,292 if you know what I mean. 483 00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:25,839 That is really gross, Sue, but they're kids. Hormones. 484 00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:28,842 William, I realize you're still mourning the loss... 485 00:24:28,926 --> 00:24:31,469 of that bony, redheaded hominid you're in love with. 486 00:24:31,554 --> 00:24:33,138 I understand that. 487 00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:36,099 I also understand that you've bought a brand-new car to impress her. 488 00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:37,934 You're flailing, William. 489 00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:40,311 Now, I'm secretly hoping it's a midlife crisis, 490 00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:42,230 which means you're halfway to an early death, 491 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:44,440 affording me a blissful, demented convalescence... 492 00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:46,693 spent peeing on your grave. 493 00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,862 What's your point, Sue? 494 00:24:48,946 --> 00:24:51,197 Don't let your own recklessness blind you to the fact... 495 00:24:51,282 --> 00:24:54,742 that Britney Spears is a genius pop culture provocateur... 496 00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:58,663 and a gateway drug to every out-of-control impulse ever created. 497 00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:01,791 This school is a powder keg of sexual deviance, William. 498 00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:05,962 And in my office, I have a chair with a naked butt-sweat stain to prove it. 499 00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:10,133 I'm not kiddin'. It's like an inkblot test, that butt-sweat stain. 500 00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:12,760 Stare into it, William, 501 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:16,222 and you will see the light of all that is good go out of the world. 502 00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:23,479 Wait just a second now. You look more confused than ever. 503 00:25:23,564 --> 00:25:27,317 Is your Glee Club doing Britney Spears music? 504 00:25:27,401 --> 00:25:29,694 Is that why Rachel was wearing that inappropriate outfit? 505 00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:30,737 No. 506 00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:34,824 No. We are not doing Britney. 507 00:25:34,909 --> 00:25:36,534 Okay. 508 00:25:36,619 --> 00:25:37,952 Just checking. 509 00:25:47,046 --> 00:25:49,714 I'm serious. You should put ranch dressing on it. 510 00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:52,508 - On pizza? - Yeah. It's delicious. You should try it. 511 00:25:52,593 --> 00:25:55,678 I'm 100% in love with you right now. 512 00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:59,265 - Hey, Britney. - Oh, hey, Artie. 513 00:25:59,350 --> 00:26:02,477 Girl, you are such a fool for breaking up with such a sweetheart. 514 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,438 I know, Britney. Artie, I'm sorry. 515 00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:07,690 And I'm stronger. 516 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:09,984 I'm serious. You're hot. 517 00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:15,114 Ooh, hey, yeah 518 00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:20,536 Hush, just stop 519 00:26:21,872 --> 00:26:25,166 There's nothing you can do or say 520 00:26:25,793 --> 00:26:27,460 Baby 521 00:26:27,544 --> 00:26:30,129 I've had enough 522 00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:33,967 I'm not your property as from today 523 00:26:34,635 --> 00:26:36,427 Baby 524 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:42,100 You might think that I won't make it 525 00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:44,102 On my own 526 00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:49,899 But now I'm stronger than yesterday 527 00:26:49,984 --> 00:26:53,653 Now it's nothing but my way 528 00:26:53,737 --> 00:27:00,285 My loneliness ain't killing me no more 529 00:27:00,369 --> 00:27:05,206 I... I'm stronger 530 00:27:06,709 --> 00:27:09,502 Oh, yeah Here I go, on my own 531 00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:14,215 I don't need nobody Better off alone 532 00:27:16,552 --> 00:27:18,886 Here I go, on my own now 533 00:27:20,723 --> 00:27:23,391 I don't need nobody Not anybody 534 00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:28,146 Here I go 535 00:27:31,066 --> 00:27:33,067 Here I go Here I go 536 00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:35,361 Here I go 537 00:27:35,446 --> 00:27:39,282 Stronger than yesterday 538 00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:43,536 It's nothing but my way 539 00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:49,042 My loneliness ain't killing me no more 540 00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:50,501 No more 541 00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:55,298 I... I'm stronger 542 00:27:59,219 --> 00:28:01,429 Britney. 543 00:28:05,934 --> 00:28:11,064 - What are you doing? - Oh. I'm, uh, going to run some laps. 544 00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:13,316 Gonna get back in shape and back on the team. 545 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,069 That's what I came to talk to you about. I want on the team too. 546 00:28:16,153 --> 00:28:18,154 Every day, Tina and Mike's Asian fusion grows stronger. 547 00:28:18,238 --> 00:28:21,908 Look. I want to help you, dude, but... 548 00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:24,118 kind of need to take care of myself right now. 549 00:28:25,287 --> 00:28:26,788 I'm sorry. 550 00:28:28,582 --> 00:28:30,500 I had a vision at the dentist. 551 00:28:30,584 --> 00:28:34,670 You and I were out on the field with the team, playing football. We were unstoppable. 552 00:28:34,755 --> 00:28:38,591 I just know that if we can show what I can do to Coach B, she'd put me on the team. 553 00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:40,468 Show me what? 554 00:28:41,470 --> 00:28:43,388 I... I wanted to ask you... 555 00:28:43,472 --> 00:28:45,473 to reconsider putting me on the football team. 556 00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:47,809 - I'm not with him on this one. - Well, you should be. 557 00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:50,228 I need you to help him get his uniform. 558 00:28:50,312 --> 00:28:51,687 What? 559 00:28:51,772 --> 00:28:54,565 Well, don't just stare at me like a donkey with a wooden leg. 560 00:28:54,650 --> 00:28:57,819 Go see the equipment manager, and you boys get out on the field. 561 00:28:57,903 --> 00:28:59,612 Practice starts in five minutes. 562 00:28:59,696 --> 00:29:01,322 Thanks, Coach. We won't let you down. 563 00:29:01,407 --> 00:29:02,865 Well, come on. Go! 564 00:29:02,950 --> 00:29:04,992 Those are on backwards. 565 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,916 I was pretty sure Artie's legs don't work. 566 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,128 - Did you get a leg transplant? - Nope. My teammates can push my chair like a battering ram. 567 00:29:15,212 --> 00:29:16,754 Yep. There's no rules against it. We checked. 568 00:29:16,839 --> 00:29:19,215 - And I have Britney Spears to thank. - You're welcome. 569 00:29:19,299 --> 00:29:21,175 Britney plus nitrous gave me an amazing idea. 570 00:29:21,301 --> 00:29:24,929 And it gave me the nerve to tell Coach Beiste that Finn and I really want to be on the team. 571 00:29:25,013 --> 00:29:27,348 - Wait. You're back on the football team? - Yeah. 572 00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:30,059 Suddenly you're way hotter to me. Weird. 573 00:29:30,144 --> 00:29:33,312 Wait. I don't get it. How come everyone's having Britney Spears fantasies? 574 00:29:33,397 --> 00:29:35,565 The nitrous oxide dentists use is a mild hallucinogen. 575 00:29:35,649 --> 00:29:37,567 Studies have proven that it induces vivid dreams... 576 00:29:37,651 --> 00:29:39,360 often the last thing the patient thinks of. 577 00:29:39,445 --> 00:29:41,779 The subconscious moves to the forefront. Since we've all been thinking... 578 00:29:41,864 --> 00:29:43,906 so much about Britney, it only stands to reason. 579 00:29:43,991 --> 00:29:47,285 - Okay, guys. Listen up. - Mr. Schue, if I may... 580 00:29:47,411 --> 00:29:50,538 Kurt, I overheard what you guys were just talking about, and I know what you're gonna say. 581 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,582 The answer is no. 582 00:29:52,666 --> 00:29:55,751 - No, I'm not gonna stand in the way anymore. 583 00:29:55,878 --> 00:29:59,547 If you guys want to do Britney at this year's homecoming assembly, I'm fine with it. 584 00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:00,882 Good. Yes! 585 00:30:01,008 --> 00:30:03,301 I know. Oh. 586 00:30:03,385 --> 00:30:05,428 And, more than that, 587 00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:08,139 I am going to perform with you. 588 00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:12,226 Right? 589 00:30:19,776 --> 00:30:22,487 I always thought the boys' locker room would be all sexy, 590 00:30:22,571 --> 00:30:24,572 but actually smells like feet in here. 591 00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:26,908 Oh, Rachel, you can't be in here. 592 00:30:26,992 --> 00:30:28,910 You changed back to your old clothes. 593 00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:32,497 I just want you to know that I heard everything that you said... 594 00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:36,375 and that I respect your needs, and I'll do anything to make you feel safe and happy. 595 00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:38,002 Cool. 596 00:30:38,128 --> 00:30:40,254 Well, thanks. I gotta go. Wait. 597 00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:42,715 I mean, 598 00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:45,843 d-don't you want to make me feel safe and happy too? 599 00:30:45,928 --> 00:30:48,179 Well, yeah. Yeah. Sure. 600 00:30:48,263 --> 00:30:50,973 Wait. Wait. Do you want me to quit football? 601 00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:53,851 Look. How am I supposed to trust that you're not just gonna stray again? 602 00:30:53,936 --> 00:30:57,813 Remember your little fling with Brittany and Santana? I do. 603 00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:59,482 All right. Let's face it, Finn. 604 00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:03,152 The only way that this relationship is gonna work is if we're both losers. 605 00:31:03,237 --> 00:31:05,238 Okay. Come here. 606 00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:10,034 This is how it's gonna happen. I'm gonna be quarterback again. 607 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:14,080 Then I'm gonna throw a touchdown in our first game and then point to you in the stands... 608 00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:16,666 so that everybody in the school knows you're my girlfriend. 609 00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:20,086 All right? It's very romantic, but- 610 00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:23,130 I don't know. 611 00:31:25,509 --> 00:31:29,387 Rachel, you can't ask me to choose between you and football. 612 00:31:29,471 --> 00:31:31,180 Well, I am. 613 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,031 Why don't you sit at the top and wave your big foamy finger. 614 00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:51,325 Yeah? Up there. 615 00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,327 It's so, so exciting! 616 00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:57,873 You know, I can get you backstage if you want. Oh. Hey. 617 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,001 Hey. You're all dressed up. 618 00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:01,961 You look like a cast member of Kids Incorporated. 619 00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:05,965 I really want to loosen up a bit, so I'm helping the kids do Britney. 620 00:32:06,091 --> 00:32:08,092 Outrageous, right? Yeah. 621 00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:10,761 Showtime. 622 00:32:12,306 --> 00:32:14,515 Sit down. There's nothing to stand up and cheer about. 623 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,183 Hey, Coach. 624 00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:19,854 The Glee Club's doing Britney Spears for the assembly. I just found out. 625 00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:25,192 Becky, you're on red alert. If you see any awkward teenage frottage, 626 00:32:25,277 --> 00:32:27,737 you perform that citizen's arrest we practiced. 627 00:32:27,821 --> 00:32:29,363 Got it, Coach. 628 00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:36,370 Quiet, please, children. Quiet now. 629 00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:40,082 First, students who ate the ravioli today... 630 00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:46,172 and are not up to date on their tetanus shots should see the nurse immediately. 631 00:32:46,256 --> 00:32:49,342 Welcome to our homecoming pep assembly. 632 00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:53,262 Because of last week's grisly train derailment, 633 00:32:53,347 --> 00:32:57,808 the Dulcimer Club is on hiatus until further notice. 634 00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,603 But do we ever have a treat for you. 635 00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:04,315 Fresh off their last-place finish at the regionals, 636 00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:07,860 please give it up for the New Directions. 637 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,119 Baby, can't you see 638 00:33:17,204 --> 00:33:18,954 I'm calling 639 00:33:19,039 --> 00:33:22,500 A guy like you should wear a warning 640 00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:24,418 You're dangerous 641 00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:26,462 I'm lovin' it 642 00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:27,963 I love Britney Spears! 643 00:33:29,633 --> 00:33:33,052 Too high Can't come down 644 00:33:33,136 --> 00:33:37,431 - Losing my head Spinning round and round 645 00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:42,186 Oh, do you feel me now 646 00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:46,899 With a taste of your lips I'm on a ride 647 00:33:46,983 --> 00:33:49,151 - I want to be that hot. - You're toxic 648 00:33:49,236 --> 00:33:50,403 I'm slipping under 649 00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:53,948 With a taste of a poison paradise 650 00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,866 I'm addicted to you 651 00:33:55,951 --> 00:33:58,703 Don't you know that you're toxic 652 00:34:00,914 --> 00:34:05,835 And I love what you do Don't you know that you're toxic 653 00:34:06,545 --> 00:34:08,921 Take it off! 654 00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:15,052 - Yes! - It's getting late 655 00:34:15,137 --> 00:34:16,971 To give you up 656 00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:20,433 I took a sip from my devil's cup 657 00:34:20,517 --> 00:34:24,478 Slowly It's taking over me 658 00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:31,610 Too high Can't come down It's in the air 659 00:34:31,695 --> 00:34:34,822 - Mr. Schue, let me be your Britney! - And it's all around 660 00:34:36,283 --> 00:34:39,285 Oh, can you feel me now 661 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:41,245 Oh 662 00:34:41,329 --> 00:34:44,498 With a taste of your lips I'm on a ride 663 00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:46,500 - On a ride - You're toxic 664 00:34:46,585 --> 00:34:48,669 I'm slipping under 665 00:34:48,754 --> 00:34:51,839 - Oh! - With a taste of a poison paradise 666 00:34:51,923 --> 00:34:54,759 - I'm addicted to you - It's so sexy! 667 00:34:54,843 --> 00:34:56,260 It's so sexy! 668 00:34:58,889 --> 00:35:01,599 I'm addicted to you 669 00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:04,143 - Mr. Schue, I want your babies! - Intoxicate me now 670 00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:05,978 Don't stop doing that! 671 00:35:06,062 --> 00:35:09,398 Don't stop doing that! Yes! Yes! 672 00:35:09,483 --> 00:35:11,025 I think I'm ready now 673 00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:12,943 - Yeah! - Intoxicate me now 674 00:35:13,069 --> 00:35:15,112 With your lovin' now Uh-oh. 675 00:35:15,197 --> 00:35:16,572 I think I'm ready 676 00:35:16,656 --> 00:35:18,157 I think I'm ready now 677 00:35:18,241 --> 00:35:21,160 It's a Britney Spears sex riot. 678 00:35:37,177 --> 00:35:39,303 Run the other way! 679 00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:07,665 How you doing, Sue? 680 00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:11,126 Not sure if you heard, William, but my spinal column was ruptured in a sex riot. 681 00:36:11,211 --> 00:36:14,046 Sue, you pulled the alarm. Everything was going fine. 682 00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:16,257 You know, William, that's what one Hubert Humphrey said... 683 00:36:16,341 --> 00:36:19,593 back in 1968 at the start of the Democratic National Convention. 684 00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:21,804 But then hippies put acid in everyone's bourbon, 685 00:36:21,888 --> 00:36:24,974 and when an updraft revealed Lady Bird Johnson's tramp stamp... 686 00:36:25,058 --> 00:36:27,309 and tattoos above her ovaries, 687 00:36:27,394 --> 00:36:29,562 Mayor Richard J. Daley became so incensed with sexual rage... 688 00:36:29,646 --> 00:36:31,647 that he punched his own wife in the face... 689 00:36:31,731 --> 00:36:33,649 and spent the next hour screaming "Sex party!"... 690 00:36:33,733 --> 00:36:36,443 into the microphones of all three major networks. 691 00:36:36,528 --> 00:36:38,320 Okay. I'm pretty sure none of that happened. 692 00:36:38,405 --> 00:36:41,615 You can expect a call very soon from my lawyer... Gloria Allred. 693 00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:44,410 I'm gonna sue the pants off you, Will. 694 00:36:44,494 --> 00:36:48,831 I'm gonna take your house, your car, your extensive collection of vests. 695 00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:52,459 I mean, seriously. You wear more vests than the cast of Blossom. 696 00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:55,754 And I'll see you in court. 697 00:37:00,093 --> 00:37:01,677 Emma. 698 00:37:03,638 --> 00:37:05,848 Look. What I did was a little weird. I know that. 699 00:37:05,932 --> 00:37:08,267 It was inappropriate for me to do Britney with the kids. 700 00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:11,645 I just thought you wanted me to be less uptight. 701 00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:14,648 Will, I just wanted you to relax. 702 00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:18,319 You know, not stop being you. 703 00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:22,114 I know you're frustrated. 704 00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:24,116 You know, Terri's still on your case. 705 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,452 You lost at regionals. Glee's still the bottom pickle of the barrel. 706 00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:29,246 You and Carl. Yeah. 707 00:37:29,915 --> 00:37:31,665 Me and Carl. 708 00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,751 Especially me and Carl. 709 00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:35,669 Look. 710 00:37:35,754 --> 00:37:38,339 Have you ever noticed that Britney Spears only makes great music... 711 00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:41,675 when she's not chasing down paparazzi? 712 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,553 She can't just swallow a grenade and let her talent explode all over the wall. 713 00:37:44,638 --> 00:37:46,555 She's gotta rein it in, just like you do. 714 00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:49,266 You're such a great teacher, Will. Ah... 715 00:37:49,351 --> 00:37:51,185 No. Probably the best in the whole school. 716 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:53,729 So why would you want to be someone else... 717 00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:55,940 when the someone that you already are is so amazing? 718 00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:58,525 Because the boring someone I already am... 719 00:38:00,070 --> 00:38:01,737 wasn't good enough for you. 720 00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:07,576 Hey. Where you going? 721 00:38:08,662 --> 00:38:11,163 To return that car. 722 00:38:13,166 --> 00:38:16,085 U.S. History? Crap. I forgot I was taking that. 723 00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:17,795 Congrats, Finn. 724 00:38:17,879 --> 00:38:21,590 You're back on the team. I'm head cheerleader again. 725 00:38:21,675 --> 00:38:24,259 Some kind of symmetry. Don't you think? 726 00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:27,680 With all the nastiness between you and I behind us, 727 00:38:27,764 --> 00:38:29,515 I think we should be together. 728 00:38:29,599 --> 00:38:31,892 We'd be a shoo-in for homecoming king and queen. 729 00:38:31,977 --> 00:38:37,356 So, what do you say? You and me, 8:00, Breadsticks? 730 00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:41,652 Look. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for you. 731 00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:43,487 Probably always will. 732 00:38:46,616 --> 00:38:49,201 But I'm not gonna get back together with you. 733 00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:52,830 There's someone else, and you know who that is. I'm asking you to respect that. 734 00:38:53,999 --> 00:38:55,541 I'm sorry. 735 00:39:05,885 --> 00:39:08,762 I said what you wanted me to. He shot me down. 736 00:39:10,015 --> 00:39:11,557 So, congrats. 737 00:39:11,641 --> 00:39:13,976 Looks like he really loves you. 738 00:39:19,607 --> 00:39:22,026 All right. Rachel? 739 00:39:22,110 --> 00:39:24,236 I have a song that I prepared for the class. 740 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,280 Sorry, Rachel. No Britney. 741 00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:29,116 I'm really happy that her music has inspired so many of you, 742 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,994 even if that inspiration was brought about by a dangerous narcotic. 743 00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:34,038 And I think we've all come to... 744 00:39:34,122 --> 00:39:37,666 appreciate her music and celebrity so much more this week. 745 00:39:37,751 --> 00:39:40,544 But honestly, she's just not us. 746 00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:44,339 I am devastated. I can't believe we only did one Britney number. 747 00:39:44,424 --> 00:39:47,593 I was actually gonna do something from our original assignment last week... 748 00:39:47,677 --> 00:39:51,722 adult contemporary... but this is just a little bit more young adult. 749 00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:53,182 Oh. 750 00:39:53,266 --> 00:39:55,184 Great, Rachel. Well, let's hear it. 751 00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,648 I'd like to dedicate this song to my boyfriend. 752 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:05,110 Finn, I was wrong. 753 00:40:05,195 --> 00:40:07,154 I shouldn't try to control you. 754 00:40:08,323 --> 00:40:10,407 I've just... I've never been this happy before, 755 00:40:10,492 --> 00:40:15,913 and I realize that I was trying to hold on to how you were making me feel so much... 756 00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:18,832 that I was strangling you in my hands like a little bird. 757 00:40:18,917 --> 00:40:21,919 I get now that, in order for this relationship to work, 758 00:40:22,003 --> 00:40:25,464 I have to open up my hands and let you fly free. 759 00:40:25,548 --> 00:40:27,424 Finn can fly? 760 00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:29,051 Really? Wait. 761 00:40:29,135 --> 00:40:31,470 I thought I was the only one getting the solos from now on. 762 00:40:31,554 --> 00:40:34,598 Next week I'm going to be performing a musical number by Kesha. 763 00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:36,850 Shh. 764 00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,402 When I was younger 765 00:40:47,487 --> 00:40:51,657 I saw my daddy cry 766 00:40:51,741 --> 00:40:54,368 And curse at the wind 767 00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:59,373 He broke his own heart as I watched 768 00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:04,670 As he tried to reassemble it 769 00:41:06,089 --> 00:41:10,008 And my mama swore she would 770 00:41:10,093 --> 00:41:15,139 Never let herself forget 771 00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:20,102 And that was the day that I promised 772 00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:22,771 I'd never sing of love 773 00:41:22,856 --> 00:41:25,566 If it does not exist 774 00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:27,025 But, darling 775 00:41:27,110 --> 00:41:47,880 You are the only exception 776 00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:52,926 Oh, oh 777 00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:57,389 Oh, oh 778 00:41:57,473 --> 00:42:00,809 I've got a tight grip on reality 779 00:42:00,894 --> 00:42:07,983 But I can't let go of what's in front of me here 780 00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:13,447 I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up 781 00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:17,534 Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream 782 00:42:17,619 --> 00:42:22,998 Oh, oh, oh, oh 783 00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:45,312 You are the only exception 784 00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:55,155 You are the only exception 785 00:42:55,240 --> 00:43:01,203 And I'm on my way to believing 786 00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:13,257 And I'm on my way to believing 787 00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:54,631 ENGLISH - US - PSDH 63947

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