All language subtitles for Friends.with.Benefits.2011Subitles.YIFY

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali Download
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish Download
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German Download
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi Download
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese Download
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay Download
ml Malayalam Download
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese) Download
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian Download
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala Download
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil Download
te Telugu Download
th Thai Download
tr Turkish Download
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,568 Okay. Let's see where we are. 2 00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:22,823 We could move this, get rid of that, kill that. 3 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:27,491 That kind of freaks me out. Don't need her. We can get rid of that. 4 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,993 That's done. Okay, we could start with this. 5 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,204 I know it's a hard-hitting piece, but come on, you guys, it's the Internet. 6 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,581 We need traffic, traffic, traffic. What do you got? 7 00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,293 - How about this? - It's perfect. 8 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,791 Now, doesn't she look smart and knowledgeable about immigration reform? 9 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,801 - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. She does, right? 10 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:45,216 I'm fucking with you people. This isn't a porn site. 11 00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:46,968 What are we, nerds trying to look at boobies? 12 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:48,841 Come on, Keep looking. 13 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,343 Shit! Hello? 14 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,929 Hey! Baby, where are you? Are you still at work? 15 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:55,348 No! Not even close. 16 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:56,932 Just so you know, the movie starts in 10 minutes. 17 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,813 - I know! Give me your pants. - What? 18 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,527 - I'll buy you lunch tomorrow. Come on. - No. 19 00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,484 I'm your boss. Give me your pants. 20 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:05,032 Please try not to be late. I really hate missing the beginning. 21 00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,279 I know. I know. 22 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,779 Give me your pants. I'm coming, baby. 23 00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:11,780 I'm almost there! 24 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:14,287 - How far away? - I think I see you! 25 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,003 - Where are you? I'm here. - So am I. 26 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,921 So many people. What are you wearing? 27 00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:22,466 I'm wearing the only clothes outside the theater, 28 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:25,294 because I'm the only person outside the theater! 29 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,508 I love that outfit. You look so sexy in that. 30 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,131 You know that I love this movie. 31 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,969 If a prostitute and a ruthless businessman can fall in love, 32 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:34,891 then anyone can. 33 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,143 I know this means a lot to you, which means it means a lot to me. 34 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,644 Well, apparently it doesn't. 35 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,067 I'm looking at you right now. I can see you! 36 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,481 Jamie! 37 00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,232 Hey! 38 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:45,526 - Hey. - You made it. 39 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,399 - Yeah. Hey. - Hi. 40 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,985 - Sorry I'm late. - It's okay. I got us sandwiches. 41 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:52,412 I got you turkey, no cheese, gluten-free bread. 42 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,494 You sure this was prepared in a nut-free facility? 43 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,830 Yes, I'm full aware of our allergies. Y. 44 00:01:56,992 --> 00:02:00,838 Hey, I'm here! I'm here. I'm really sorry. 45 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,665 We missed Your Body Is a Wonderland. 46 00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,716 Okay. Only one song. That's not so bad, right? 47 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,210 It was fucking Your Body ls a Wonderland! 48 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:10,181 Well, the good news is, he has so many good ones. 49 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,975 Here's an idea: next time, instead of being late, just shit on my face. 50 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,725 'Cause that's kind of the same thing as missing Your Body ls a Wonderland. 51 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:17,971 Okay, come on. We really gotta go in. 52 00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:20,274 Julia Roberts is about to put on her really tall boots. 53 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,397 We need to talk. 54 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:28,698 I think we should take a break. 55 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,118 I just feel like we should chill for a while, you know? 56 00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,991 - You're doing this? - You're breaking up with me? 57 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,413 You said I was your soul mate. 58 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,743 I did? When? 59 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,333 When we were at that bed and breakfast having sex. 60 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,910 - But, you know, that doesn't... - That doesn't what? 61 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:43,206 - Count. - I was tied up at work. I'm sorry. 62 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,625 Maybe you should care a little bit less about work 63 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,926 and a little more about the girl that you're dating. 64 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:51,430 'Cause last time I checked, work doesn't reassure you 65 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:54,015 that liking a finger up your ass doesn't make you gay. 66 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:56,935 I never said "go up." Okay? 67 00:02:57,052 --> 00:03:00,431 I just said lightly around... It's like a little button. 68 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,432 You know what? Not your issue any more. 69 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:03,683 Is this why you were late? 70 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,269 You were worried about how to break up with me? 71 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,738 Oh, no, no. I was trying to decide what to wear. 72 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,069 - So, you went with sneakers and a hoodie. - Yeah. 73 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:11,905 What, are you gonna take the SATs after this? 74 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,819 Don't lash out, okay? 75 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,620 - You're better than that. - I'm really not. 76 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,410 I just think we're heading in different directions. 77 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,912 Yeah, you to the John Mayer concert and me not. 78 00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:22,419 Thank you for doing this before the concert, by the way. 79 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,496 Best breakup ever. 80 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,757 He is the Sheryl Crow of our generation! 81 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,167 Let me just ask you a quick question. 82 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:32,255 And just know that I am not at all crushed by this breakup. 83 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,260 So, be honest. Why? 84 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,636 - Wait, is this a trick? - No. 85 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,600 Just pure anthropological research. 86 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,682 Okay. You want someone to sweep you off your feet, 87 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,560 but you're more interested in getting swept off your feet 88 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:43,856 than the someone who's doing the sweeping. 89 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,150 You seem like you've got it totally together, 90 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,111 but you're actually really emotionally damaged. 91 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,656 Also, you have, like, really big eyes, and that freaks me out sometimes... 92 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,867 Thank you. That's enough. 93 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,410 It is not you at all. 94 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,614 Of course it's me! You can't say that. You're breaking up with me! 95 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,492 It's not. It's me. I don't like you any more. 96 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,994 This is my fault. You deserve better than me. 97 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,336 You're a great guy. 98 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:08,754 A little too emotionally unavailable, if you ask me. 99 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:09,879 I didn't. 100 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,210 I really want to stay friends. 101 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,795 - Let's stay friends. - Sure. 102 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,050 Totally. 103 00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,178 John Mayer. 104 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,510 John fucking Mayer! 105 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,477 Come here, you. 106 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,147 You're gonna get through this. 107 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:31,322 Why do relationships always start off so fun and then turn into suck-a-bag-o-dicks? 108 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:35,651 I really have to stop buying into this bullshit Hollywood cliché of true love. 109 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,537 Shut up, Katherine Heigl! You stupid liar! 110 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,828 I'm just gonna work and fuck. Like George Clooney. 111 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,665 I'm just gonna shut myself down emotionally. 112 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,002 Like George Clooney. 113 00:04:58,507 --> 00:04:59,554 Hello. 114 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,180 Seat up, please, sir. 115 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,011 Is that the Hudson River? 116 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,893 No. It's the East River. 117 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:10,027 So we won't be landing on it, then, like that flight, 118 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:13,272 you know, with that captain they keep giving medals to? 119 00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:15,945 That pilot was a hero. 120 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:19,535 Asshole. 121 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,864 Plane actually did a lot of the work. 122 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,876 I think I found the perfect guy to fill that job at GQ. 123 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,208 No, he's landing early. I'm scrambling. 124 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:32,458 No, he's not sold on the job yet, but I'll get him there. I always do. 125 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:34,801 I'm even picking him up in a hybrid. 126 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,588 He's from LA. I figured he's into all that bullshit. 127 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,969 Hey, sir, what's that tall building over there? 128 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:41,891 Empire State Building. 129 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,435 No, no, no, no. No. The other one. 130 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:47,352 The really, really tall one with the antenna on top of it, the windows. 131 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,932 That is Empire State Building. 132 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,606 Oh, yeah. You're right. King Kong. 133 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:52,773 Hey... 134 00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:00,073 Oh, hey! Are you done with this? All met up? 135 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,745 Great. Welcome to New York, Ms. Penderghast. 136 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,285 Yeah. 137 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:18,128 Oh, no. Excuse me. Sorry. 138 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,428 Okay. 139 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,803 - Can you hand me my bag? - Sure. Which one? 140 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,019 - The one with the straps. - Okay. 141 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,187 There. 142 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:29,932 Okay. 143 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,105 - Thank you. - Welcome to New York, sir. 144 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:38,489 - Excuse me. - Yeah. 145 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,284 That's me. Which one, the blue or the yellow? 146 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,450 No. The makeshift sign made out of lipstick, that's me. 147 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,998 - You're Dylan Harper. - I am. 148 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,374 I'm Jamie Rellis. 149 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,207 - You're picking me up from the airport. - Hi. Yes, I am. 150 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,587 You always pick people up like this? 151 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,540 Yeah, you know, I like to keep things interesting. 152 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,175 - Welcome to New York. - Thank you. 153 00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,883 You're not exactly what comes to mind when you think headhunter. 154 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:04,182 Yeah, I prefer "executive recruiter." Headhunter sounds a little creepy. 155 00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,802 You did stalk me for six months. Kind of creepy. 156 00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,561 Here, here, here, I'll take it. 157 00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,523 You're really gonna carry my bag? You're that girl? 158 00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:14,727 No. I'm gonna change your life. I'm that girl. 159 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,062 My life is already pretty great. 160 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:20,490 Oh, really? 'Cause you wouldn't be here if your life were already pretty great. 161 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,326 A free trip to New York. I'd be an idiot to turn that down. 162 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:26,325 Well, then I guess you must have been an idiot for the past six months. 163 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,533 Yeah, a lot of people would say longer than that. 164 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,539 It's a huge opportunity Dylan. 165 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:34,584 Art director of GQ magazine. This is the big leagues. 166 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,836 I mean, no offense to your little blog on the Internet. 167 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,921 Which got six million hits last month. 168 00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:41,921 I could put up a video of me mixing cake batter with my boobs 169 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,547 and it will get eight million hits. 170 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,676 It's been done. Dunkin-My-Tits-Hynes.com. 171 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,176 Really? 172 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,642 Well, look, there's no question that you are talented at what you do, 173 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,519 but this is GQ. 174 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,441 New York's so crowded. 175 00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,566 Look around. I'm from LA, okay? 176 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,782 - I like my open spaces. - What are you, a gazelle? 177 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,075 Come on, what's really worrying you about this? 178 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:10,202 I don't know. I don't want to be the guy who took something legendary 179 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:13,034 and shit the bed with it. Excuse the expression. 180 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,087 Well, then don't be the guy who shit the bed. Excuse the expression. 181 00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,254 Be the guy who made the bed legendary again. 182 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,591 Listen, we'll get some coffee in you before the interview. You'll be fine. 183 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:28,805 I'm sorry, not coffee. Some green tea, soy, organic hemp bullshit. 184 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:30,927 Really hot in New York. 185 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,558 Doesn't it get hot in LA? 186 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,514 Yeah, it gets hot in LA, but it's the humidity. 187 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:37,396 In LA, if it's 90 degrees, it feels like 90 degrees. But... 188 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,936 - Right. - If it's hot in New York, 189 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,900 it's 90 degrees, it's like 100,000 degrees. 190 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,152 This conversation about weather is really fascinating, 191 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,983 but lucky for me, we are here. 192 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,490 So, good luck. 193 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:52,119 Whatever happens, happens. I told you, I don't really want it. 194 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:55,411 Just do me a favor? Act like you do so that I look good. 195 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,791 - I can do that. - Okay. Go get 'em. 196 00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,255 This is great, by the way. 197 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,350 Watch it! 198 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,937 - Hey! - You're still here? 199 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,490 Yeah. Well, it's my job. 200 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:26,654 Nice. 201 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,278 So, tell me, how'd it go? 202 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,239 They bought it. You're safe for a little while longer. 203 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,620 Well, thank you. I owe you one. 204 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,000 This is from you. 205 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,502 It's your offer. 206 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,126 - Wait, I got it? - They called about five minutes ago. 207 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:48,297 Congratulations. Offer expires at midnight. 208 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,137 Why didn't you just tell me instead of texting me? 209 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,642 'Cause it's more dramatic. 210 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:56,976 Dylan, you are not gonna shit the bed. 211 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,478 I've seen your work. It's amazing. 212 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,358 It's a huge move. 213 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,646 Would you uproot your entire life for a job? Be honest. 214 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,985 Well, no. For a job, probably not. 215 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:09,986 But for New York? Yeah, I would. 216 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,370 Which is why I'm not gonna try to sell you on the job, 217 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:13,739 I'm gonna sell you on New York. 218 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,160 It's New York! 219 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,537 I've seen Seinfeld. 220 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,747 Not the bullshit tourist version. 221 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:22,956 Puppy dog eyes. Nice touch. 222 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,507 Yes! Come on. 223 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,009 Let me buy you a drink. 224 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:30,551 What's wrong? 225 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,594 What are you waiting for? 226 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,807 The light to change. 227 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,510 You LA folk are so cute. 228 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:36,936 Come on. 229 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,142 Come on, it's fine. 230 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,268 - See? - Yep. 231 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:40,439 I'm gonna die. 232 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:44,520 Here we have Brooklyn Bridge, downtown Manhattan, 233 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,863 and right in front of us, an outdoor bar. 234 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,576 Alcohol. Now we're talking. 235 00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,206 You know, I like you. 236 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,082 I'll give you your choice of closes. 237 00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:01,461 - What? - How I close you on this job. 238 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:04,085 - Okay. - So we got the flattery close. 239 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:07,797 Dylan, you are so good at what you do. 240 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,219 The take-it-or-leave-it close. 241 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,214 Man, I don't care if you take it. I get paid regardless. 242 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,806 The sympathy close. 243 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,349 You see, my kidneys are failing... 244 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,974 Why do women think the only way to get a man to do what they want 245 00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,224 is to manipulate him? 246 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:23,233 History. Personal experience. Romantic comedies. 247 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,561 Come on, you're here for a reason, whether you want to admit it or not. 248 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,823 Yeah, to explore an option. Who wouldn't want to know their options? 249 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,403 Someone who's in the perfect situation. 250 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,734 Are you in the perfect situation? 251 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,911 Job? Absolutely. 252 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,242 Everything else? None of your business. 253 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,543 Shaun! 254 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:43,912 - Jamie! - Hey! 255 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,664 - Hey, what's up, baby? - What are you doing here? 256 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:46,839 - Shaun White? - You look great. 257 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,088 - You been working out? - Nope. Just been eating a lot. 258 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,467 - Okay. - Yeah. 259 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,677 - You want a drink? - Yeah! 260 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:52,925 - Let me get you a drink. Yeah? - Okay. 261 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,431 - Careful! Careful. - Sorry. 262 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,472 Hey, bro, that was like a double McTwist 1260. 263 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,476 - Yeah, like the trick. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dylan. 264 00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,144 Jamie, you want to get this guy out of my face 265 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,608 before I break his fucking skull? 266 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,812 Sorry, bro. No disrespect. I'm a huge fan. 267 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:12,316 You don't fucking know me, man! Don't talk to me like you know me! 268 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,114 What, you think I'm all chill 'cause I snowboard and shit? 269 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,779 One more word, I'll fuck you up like dynamite! 270 00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:19,660 Dynamite? 271 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,621 I'm just playing, bro. 272 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,627 Any friend of Jamie's is cool with me. 273 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:27,130 - It's all good, man. - All good. 274 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,796 I'm whispering in the ear of a dead man. 275 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,592 I'll see you later. 276 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:32,760 - Good to see you. - Bye, honey. 277 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:37,849 Shaun White seems really great. Nice dude. 278 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,806 - How do you know him again? - I took his virginity. 279 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,391 So you guys have known each other for a while? 280 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,973 No, it was like eight months ago. 281 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:46,854 Wow. 282 00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,189 So does the carpet match the drapes? 283 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,022 It's hardwood floors, if you know what I mean. 284 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,274 My God! Terrible visual. 285 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,985 Totally kidding, by the way. Just an old friend of mine. 286 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,159 You guys use the same leave-in conditioner. 287 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,456 His hair had nice body. 288 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,455 Can I get two gyro number sixes, extra sauce? 289 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:08,038 - What are you looking for? - The cops. 290 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,706 - Come on. - The cops? 291 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,003 Yep... 292 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,001 Come on! 293 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,843 - Where are you taking me? - You'll see. 294 00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,821 Well, here's your open space. 295 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,365 Run, gazelle. Run! 296 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:43,198 - Wow. This is unbelievable. - I know. 297 00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,703 Okay, this was not on Seinfeld. 298 00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,881 Come on, what's your dad think about all this? 299 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,419 About what? 300 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,669 Well, he must have an opinion. 301 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,847 He used to write for the LA Times for 23 years. 302 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,341 Somebody did their homework. 303 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:05,679 I have this thing at work. It's called Google. 304 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,935 Come on, what's he think about the job? 305 00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,190 Actually, I didn't ask him. 306 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,230 Well, then you must know what he'd say. 307 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:21,362 He'd tell me to go with my gut and that he'd be proud of me no matter what I did. 308 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,914 Sounds like a really great man. 309 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,080 Yeah, he is. 310 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,878 Hey, do you want to see something really cool? 311 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,464 I always want to see something really cool. What... 312 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:34,962 Come on. 313 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,589 Okay. 314 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:42,261 Only place in the city you can actually see the stars. 315 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,433 - Wow. - Yeah. 316 00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,769 - It's pretty awesome. - I know. 317 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,147 I like to come up here to think. 318 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:52,107 Just when it gets a little too much for me down there, it's like... 319 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,485 It's like my New York version of a mountaintop. 320 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,155 Best part, no cell reception. 321 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,819 You take all your recruits up here? 322 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,282 Actually, never really taken anyone up here. 323 00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,459 - Really? - Yeah. 324 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,081 Thanks. 325 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,413 If you tell anyone about this, I will rip your ears off 326 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,248 and staple them to your neck. 327 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:19,176 Everyone in this city seems really violent. 328 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,801 Come on, let's go. One last stop. 329 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:25,509 - We're just getting comfortable. - I know you are. Come on, buddy. 330 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,977 It's New York. Now hustle. Come on. 331 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,730 - Come on, come on. - You're showing me Times Square. 332 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:33,183 - This is not touristy at all! - Would you shush? Come on. 333 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,605 Do we have to power-walk everywhere we go? 334 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:36,982 Yes. 335 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:40,900 So everybody just kind of walks wherever they want, then. 336 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:43,030 How 'bout right here? 337 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,702 - What do you mean? - We're here. 338 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,168 Oh, my God, it's 1988. 339 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,499 All right, smartass, give it five seconds. 340 00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,731 - What is this? - It's a flash mob. 341 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,318 - Like on Oprah! - Exactly. 342 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,031 Should we get out of the way? 343 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,246 No, no. Enjoy it. Take it all in. 344 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,246 - It's pretty damn cool. - Right? 345 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:38,377 It's kind of rad. 346 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,376 Do these people get paid for this? 347 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,259 No. No. They kind of just do it for fun. 348 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,178 It's nice to feel like you're a part of something. 349 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,225 New York can be a little bit lonely at times. 350 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,012 And you're trying to sell me on it. 351 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:55,390 Every place can be a bit lonely sometimes. 352 00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,730 - Be careful! - Oh, my God. 353 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,572 - Come down. - Okay. 354 00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,408 - Shit. Get back down. - Okay. 355 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,882 - I'm in. - What? 356 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,381 - You sold me. - Really? 357 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,137 - I'll take the job. - Oh, my God! 358 00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:34,809 - What, are you surprised? - No! No. Oh, you are gonna crush it! 359 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,603 Amazing. 360 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:41,277 - You can all go home now! Thank you! - Very funny. 361 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,441 Come on. 362 00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:45,277 Congratulations, sell-out! 363 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,775 Thank you, thank you. 364 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,160 All I'm saying is, it wasn't so much the pilot's skill 365 00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:52,247 that landed that plane on the river as much as the mechanics of the aircraft. 366 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,744 Are you saying that Captain Sully wasn't a hero? 367 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,121 No, no. 368 00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:57,956 There were just other factors. 369 00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,962 Are you not an American? 370 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,306 Hey, fuckface, you want to get your shit out of my car or what? 371 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,932 I... Yeah. 372 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,149 Welcome to New York. Go and fuck a dick. 373 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,791 Fuck. 374 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:49,470 So, all I ask is that you give me a little bit of time to gain your trust. 375 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:54,176 I know that I'm new at this, but what I lack in experience I make up for in cliches. 376 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,844 So, my door is always open. 377 00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:01,353 But seriously, my door is always open. 378 00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:07,238 My first order of business, lighter doors. 379 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,700 - Okay. Thanks, guys. - Welcome, Dylan. 380 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,238 Hey, man. Tommy Bollinger, sports editor. 381 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,036 Tommy, I've read your articles. Love your writing. 382 00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:18,791 Just trying to keep it realsies. 383 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:22,086 Listen, I'd love to take you out one night and troll for cock. 384 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,589 - What? - You got some pretty boys out there in LA, 385 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:28,380 but the quality in this town is ridiculous. 386 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,552 We can tear this shit up. 387 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,217 I'm not gay, Tommy. 388 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:36,010 Really? I just assumed, art director and, you know... 389 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,428 Hey. No skin, more pipe for me. 390 00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,271 By the way, doing a piece on racism in hockey. 391 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:43,517 Love to get your concepts on the font. 392 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:47,445 I'm thinking Helvetica but I could be persuaded to Courier New. 393 00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:50,781 But what the fuck do I know? I'm just the sports editor. 394 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:53,909 - You sure you're not gay? - Yep. 395 00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,236 - I'm sure. - Okay. 396 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,034 All right. 397 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,034 - Hey. - Hey. 398 00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,711 I'd knock, but you don't have a door. 399 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,163 - I don't. - No. 400 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,418 Hey, check this out. 401 00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:08,924 Dunkin-My- Tits-Hynes. Com. 402 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:12,261 - Yeah, it really does exist. - I told you, but not that. This. 403 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,423 Awesome. 404 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,266 But it'd be even more awesome if this happened. 405 00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,265 Wait for it. 406 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,184 Nice! 407 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,391 I got in touch with a guy who puts flash mobs together. 408 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,817 We're thinking about using them for guerrilla advertising. 409 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,271 Taking something so pure and commercializing it? 410 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,064 Knew I found the right guy. 411 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,275 - Here I am. - Okay. Here's your contract. 412 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,946 Sign it and I will be out of here. 413 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:36,948 Okay. 414 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:39,955 A whole year? 415 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,914 Why do I get the feeling this is the first real commitment you've ever made? 416 00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:46,416 It's not. T-Mobile, two years. 417 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,667 And, fuck, do I regret that one. 418 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:50,299 Do me a favor. Don't quit or get fired before the year's up, 419 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,838 because otherwise I don't get my bonus. 420 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,336 Wait, I can leave whenever I want? 421 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,138 - What's the point of this contract? - Just sign the damn thing. 422 00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,469 Okay. 423 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,140 Nice doing business with you, Dylan Harper. 424 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,478 Hey, I was thinking of getting some lunch. Do you know a place? 425 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,818 Are you asking me out? 426 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,446 Whoa, I'm not asking you out. 427 00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:13,693 I'm asking you to show me a restaurant. 428 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,441 I mean, I'm the only friend you have in New York. 429 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,777 - You don't wanna complicate that. - I know. I'm not asking you out. 430 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,862 I mean, sure, we'd have fun, roll around, 431 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,160 - get into some erotic humiliation fantasy. - Erotic? 432 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,626 But it'd all blow up in our faces, end badly, and we'd never speak to each other again. 433 00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,328 I'm not fucking asking you out! I swear to God! 434 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,706 Okay. You don't like me like that. 435 00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:31,999 You don't have to be so mean about it. 436 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,965 I'm sorry. I didn't... 437 00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:38,514 God, you're such a girl. Come on, it's my treat. 438 00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:41,676 So was it an easy move? 439 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:43,685 - It was tough leaving my dad. - Yeah. 440 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,146 My sister gave me some shit. 441 00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,390 But timing was right. 442 00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,276 Timing was really right. 443 00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:53,571 - Is that your sister? - No. My ex. 444 00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,860 She's great. Loves John Mayer. 445 00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,200 Wants us to stay friends. 446 00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:03,410 She's also convinced she can cure me of my emotional unavailability. 447 00:22:05,199 --> 00:22:07,042 - You're emotionally unavailable? - Oh, yeah. 448 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:10,705 Oh, my God. I'm emotionally damaged. I haven't seen you at the meetings. 449 00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:13,173 I'm done with the relationship thing. 450 00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:15,468 Girl, you are preaching to the congregation. 451 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:16,590 - Choir. - What? 452 00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,380 "Preaching to the choir." You're supposed to preach to the congregation. 453 00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:21,428 - That's the expression. - Did you understand what I was saying? 454 00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:22,596 Then don't be a dick about it. 455 00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:26,436 Oh, my God. Do you mind? 456 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:28,351 - Please. - Great. 457 00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:31,105 Hello. You've reached Dylan Harper's cell phone. 458 00:22:31,225 --> 00:22:32,977 He's emotionally unavailable, but if you'd like... 459 00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:35,062 - John fucking Mayer! - Hello? 460 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:40,527 Wow. Hello? You really do have shitty cell service. 461 00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:41,735 - Right? - Yeah. 462 00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:45,618 I'm gonna have some friends over tomorrow. 463 00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,083 Why don't you come, and you can meet some new people? 464 00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,704 I'm gonna have to check my schedule. I'm really busy. 465 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:53,289 I work at GQ now. It's not some little blog on the Internet. 466 00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:57,797 - Hey. - Hey. 467 00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,303 - You made it. - Sorry I'm late. 468 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:02,094 No, no. Please, come in, come in. Thank you. 469 00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:04,095 Hey, everybody! Hey! 470 00:23:04,425 --> 00:23:07,269 This here is Dylan. He's from LA. 471 00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,890 He's the reason I can afford all this beer. 472 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:14,773 Okay, all right. 473 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,448 Am I an animal? 474 00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:21,942 Yeah. 475 00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:24,073 Fuck, I'm pretty good at this. 476 00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:53,307 Lieutenant Kali's a West Coast street artist I got into about five years ago. 477 00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:56,645 - His postmodern interpretation... - This shit is amazing. 478 00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:57,816 I know, right? 479 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:05,445 You will be able to find the perfect candidate to fill the position at your company. 480 00:24:06,153 --> 00:24:07,154 Okay, here we go. 481 00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:11,500 First up is Joey Morena, who's fluent in Vietnamese 482 00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:13,665 and has had 10 years of experience in the culinary field. 483 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:23,137 I can't do this any more. 484 00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:27,174 No, I think we both need to go get happy. 485 00:24:27,841 --> 00:24:29,639 It's not adding up to a hundred any more. 486 00:24:29,718 --> 00:24:30,810 Yeah. 487 00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:32,729 Looks like New York's all out of blueberries. 488 00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:34,230 Goodbye, Flapjack. 489 00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:38,019 Taxi! Taxicab! 490 00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:39,311 Flapjack. 491 00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:41,864 Why do all these movies have such bad music? 492 00:24:42,231 --> 00:24:44,700 It's so that you know how to feel every single second. 493 00:24:44,858 --> 00:24:45,905 "I'm heartbroken." 494 00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:50,572 "I'm getting married to the man of my dreams." 495 00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:55,661 "I'm sneaking through an office." 496 00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:00,006 Madison, wait! 497 00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,426 Madison! 498 00:25:02,543 --> 00:25:04,420 Madison, wait! 499 00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:06,593 Bryce. 500 00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:09,391 How did you know I was at Grand Central Station? 501 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:12,352 You're not. You're in Los Angeles, where this movie was shot. 502 00:25:12,428 --> 00:25:14,226 I know you better than you know yourself. 503 00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:18,191 And your crazy friend Susie across the hall told me. 504 00:25:18,726 --> 00:25:19,943 Susie. 505 00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:22,196 Why are you here? 506 00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:23,613 To tel/ you that 507 00:25:24,732 --> 00:25:26,609 I love that sunsets make you cry 508 00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:30,078 and I don't care that you failed your real estate exam, 509 00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,619 and I'm glad that you have a five-date rule. 510 00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:35,784 And that I love you. 511 00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:37,957 Not as much as I love you. 512 00:25:40,414 --> 00:25:42,587 Now boarding, track 5, love. 513 00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:45,427 God, I wish my life was a movie sometimes. 514 00:25:45,753 --> 00:25:47,551 You know, I'd never have to worry about my hair, 515 00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:49,389 or having to go to the bathroom. 516 00:25:49,882 --> 00:25:51,976 And then, when I'm at my lowest point, 517 00:25:52,259 --> 00:25:55,433 some guy would chase me down the street, pour his heart out, 518 00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:56,643 and we'd kiss. 519 00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:58,816 Happily ever after. 520 00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:02,607 I mean, a horse and carriage? 521 00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:05,774 Come on, that is awesome. 522 00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:08,367 Not as awesome as this ambiguously upbeat pop song 523 00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:10,069 that has nothing to do with the plot 524 00:26:10,152 --> 00:26:14,908 they put in at the end to try to convince you that you had a great time at this shitty movie. 525 00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:18,953 You know, why don't they ever make a movie about what happens after the big kiss? 526 00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:20,250 They do. It's called porn. 527 00:26:22,623 --> 00:26:24,250 God, I miss sex. 528 00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:27,628 Right? I mean, sometimes you just need it. It's like... 529 00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:30,639 I don't know, it's like cracking your neck. 530 00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,800 Why does it always gotta come with complications? 531 00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,802 - And emotions. - And guilt. 532 00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:36,303 Guilt. 533 00:26:36,804 --> 00:26:38,681 - It's women's fault. - What? 534 00:26:38,847 --> 00:26:42,522 You heard me. "Hold me. Let's spend the rest of our lives together." 535 00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:44,020 Oh, please, you are no better. 536 00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:47,983 "Oh, yeah, baby, come on, now. Say my name. Yeah..." 537 00:26:48,816 --> 00:26:50,693 "I'm done. How was I?" 538 00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:51,819 Who have you been with? 539 00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:54,825 Why can't it not be like that? 540 00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:59,368 It's a physical act. Like playing tennis. 541 00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:02,046 Two people should be able to have sex like they're playing tennis. 542 00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,960 Yeah, I mean, no one wants to go away for the weekend 543 00:27:04,039 --> 00:27:05,336 after they play tennis. 544 00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:08,711 It's just a game. You shake hands, get on with your shit. 545 00:27:09,002 --> 00:27:10,174 - Yeah. - Yeah. 546 00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:13,890 Do you want more beer? 547 00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:16,014 Okay. 548 00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:24,817 - Jamie! - Yeah? 549 00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:27,112 - Let's play tennis. - What? 550 00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:28,564 Let's have sex like we're playing tennis. 551 00:27:28,689 --> 00:27:29,906 Get the hell out of here. 552 00:27:30,566 --> 00:27:32,694 Don't laugh. This could be great. 553 00:27:32,860 --> 00:27:34,407 This could take all the weirdness out of it. 554 00:27:34,528 --> 00:27:36,951 Well, we talked about this. I don't like you like that. 555 00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:39,579 I don't like you like that either. That's why it's perfect. 556 00:27:40,701 --> 00:27:42,499 I don't even know if I find you attractive. 557 00:27:42,578 --> 00:27:43,704 That's cute. 558 00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:45,422 Well, I do have a thing for jerks. 559 00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:48,167 Okay, well, do you even find me attractive? 560 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,672 - That's cute. - No, no, no. 561 00:27:49,751 --> 00:27:52,220 Before you got to know my awesome personality. 562 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:53,380 Strictly physical. 563 00:27:54,256 --> 00:27:55,678 First time you saw me. 564 00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:59,223 - This is just two people talking? - Yeah. 565 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,724 Two girls over drinks at Bennigan's. Go. 566 00:28:04,391 --> 00:28:07,395 I liked your eyes. I didn't think I'd ever seen such big, beautiful eyes. 567 00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:13,529 Your lips. Yeah. I thought you might be a good kisser. 568 00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:15,031 I am. 569 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:16,904 - Your breasts. - What about them? 570 00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:18,326 - They intrigued me. - Really? 571 00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:20,703 - Yeah. - I think they're so tiny. 572 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,747 - They're still breasts. - Thanks. 573 00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:25,454 - I liked your hands. - Mouth. 574 00:28:25,787 --> 00:28:26,834 - Butt. - Voice. 575 00:28:26,914 --> 00:28:27,961 - Chest. - Eyes. 576 00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,628 - You said that. - I meant it. 577 00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:35,760 You swear you don't want anything more from me other than sex? 578 00:28:35,881 --> 00:28:37,599 You swear you don't want anything more from me? 579 00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:41,266 I know how you girls get. Tick-took, tick-took. 580 00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:42,433 Stop it. 581 00:28:43,472 --> 00:28:47,443 - What are you doing? - I'm pulling up my Bible app. 582 00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:50,400 - You have a Bible app? - Yes. I am a good girl. 583 00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:51,776 - Hand on the iPad. - Okay. 584 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,277 Wait, no. 585 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:54,612 Why can't they figure this out? 586 00:28:54,983 --> 00:28:58,112 No... This thing thinks I'm you and you're me. 587 00:28:58,237 --> 00:28:59,705 Keep your hand still. I'll move the iPad. 588 00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:01,123 - It's actually making me dizzy. - Hold on. 589 00:29:02,449 --> 00:29:03,666 There we go. 590 00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:09,456 No relationship. 591 00:29:09,831 --> 00:29:11,003 No emotions. 592 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:12,751 Just sex. 593 00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:15,462 Whatever happens, we stay friends. 594 00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:17,927 - Swear. - Swear. 595 00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:23,307 Okay. 596 00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:30,318 So I guess we should just start. 597 00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:32,817 Okay. 598 00:29:33,981 --> 00:29:34,982 I'll serve. 599 00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:37,405 That's really... That's enough of the tennis. 600 00:29:37,484 --> 00:29:38,576 Let's go to the bedroom. 601 00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:40,654 What's wrong with the couch? It's less emotional. 602 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,122 The bedroom has better light. 603 00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:44,913 And since we're just friends, I don't have to be insecure about my body. 604 00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:46,994 Come on, okay? You're beautiful. 605 00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:49,167 You have nothing to be insecure about. 606 00:29:50,706 --> 00:29:53,209 No, you see, that is way too emotionally supportive 607 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,301 and you need to just lock that down. 608 00:29:57,546 --> 00:29:59,640 - Your ass is a little bony. - Much better. 609 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,684 My nipples are sensitive, I don't like dirty talk, 610 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,805 and had I known this was gonna happen, I would have shaved my legs this morning. 611 00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:08,436 My chin is ticklish, I sneeze sometimes after I come, 612 00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:09,983 and if I'd have known this was gonna happen, 613 00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,275 I wouldn't have shaved my legs this morning. 614 00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:12,523 Okie-dokie. 615 00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,153 I keep my socks on. Intimacy issues. 616 00:30:17,232 --> 00:30:19,155 Great, 'cause feet gross me out. Daddy issues. 617 00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:20,577 Great. 618 00:30:24,698 --> 00:30:25,995 I can work with that. 619 00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:29,916 Should be fine. 620 00:30:32,873 --> 00:30:34,250 I can't believe I'm doing this. 621 00:30:34,583 --> 00:30:36,301 Should we stop? We could just go for a run. 622 00:30:36,376 --> 00:30:37,923 I don't know, are we getting too old for this? 623 00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:40,597 - Sex? - No, casual sex. 624 00:30:40,714 --> 00:30:43,433 It just, I don't know, feels a little collegey. 625 00:30:43,717 --> 00:30:45,560 - I could sing some Third Eye Blind. - Okay. 626 00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:51,475 - That's not Third Eye Blind. - I'm pretty sure that's Third Eye Blind. 627 00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:52,605 Nope. 628 00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,573 - What's wrong? - We're just doing this once. 629 00:30:58,690 --> 00:30:59,862 - I totally agree. - Okay. 630 00:30:59,941 --> 00:31:01,158 - Great. - Great. 631 00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:02,451 Little faster. 632 00:31:02,569 --> 00:31:04,571 - More circular. - Watch my chin. 633 00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,080 - Touch my ears. - Okay. 634 00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:08,959 Kiss my neck. 635 00:31:10,035 --> 00:31:11,628 - Say my name. - Dylan Francis Harper Jr. 636 00:31:11,745 --> 00:31:12,746 Not my full name. 637 00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:14,088 Sorry, I had to fill out a lot of your paperwork. 638 00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:15,253 - Stop talking. - Okay. 639 00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:17,251 Oh, my God, you're really... 640 00:31:19,086 --> 00:31:24,593 A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P... 641 00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:27,060 - Dylan, I... - Relax. 642 00:31:27,135 --> 00:31:29,308 Just a friend going down on another friend. 643 00:31:29,429 --> 00:31:31,147 Oh, yeah, baby. Tornado. 644 00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:36,441 What, what? 645 00:31:36,603 --> 00:31:38,697 What are you trying to do? Dig your way to China? 646 00:31:38,772 --> 00:31:40,149 - I'm good at this. - Says who? 647 00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:41,616 Every girl I've been with. 648 00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:44,111 Well, they're either lying or their vaginas are made out of burlap. 649 00:31:44,277 --> 00:31:46,120 So, relax. You're not a lizard. 650 00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:47,948 - Okay, fine. - Okay, fine. 651 00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:52,244 - A little to the right. - Okay. 652 00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:54,079 - A little bit more to the left. - Roger that. 653 00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:55,630 - Now go down. - Here we go. 654 00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:58,258 - A little more... Whoa, too far! - Sorry. 655 00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:05,257 - What's wrong? - Nothing! 656 00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:06,842 When women start to scream, it could be misconstrued. 657 00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:08,435 Just keep going! 658 00:32:17,978 --> 00:32:19,025 Yeah, you know it. 659 00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:25,823 Well, let me tell you how I like it. 660 00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:28,746 See, most girls think you should start off soft, 661 00:32:28,822 --> 00:32:32,292 but if you just get in, really go for it, .. 662 00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:46,507 Yeah, you know it. 663 00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:08,954 - Let's go with Obama. - No, no, no, no! 664 00:33:09,029 --> 00:33:11,873 It's too easy, too predictable. Go with Shaun. 665 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:16,871 He's stylish, transcendent of sport, has an ass like a kumquat. 666 00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:19,873 - I hear he's kind of a jerk. - No, he's not. 667 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,087 You're just threatened by him 668 00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:23,631 because he's the greatest snow sport athlete in the universe 669 00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:25,678 and he gets more squirrel than an oak tree. 670 00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:27,927 Hey, Dylan? Jamie Rellis is in the lobby for you. 671 00:33:28,048 --> 00:33:29,095 Okay, thanks. 672 00:33:29,716 --> 00:33:31,514 Let's hit this after lunch. Okay, guys? 673 00:33:32,052 --> 00:33:34,180 Nobody wants to fuck Obama, brah. 674 00:33:34,262 --> 00:33:35,605 He's got ears like an elephant. 675 00:33:35,722 --> 00:33:37,895 That's not the part of an elephant you want. 676 00:33:41,937 --> 00:33:43,063 - Hi! - Hi. 677 00:33:46,525 --> 00:33:48,277 Sorry to just show up like this. 678 00:33:48,443 --> 00:33:49,569 No, no, no, it's fine. 679 00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:51,409 So... 680 00:33:54,199 --> 00:33:55,246 - Wanna take a walk? - Love to. 681 00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:57,627 Great. Okay. 682 00:34:03,416 --> 00:34:04,713 Okay, so about what happened, I... 683 00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:07,672 - It was crazy and we shouldn't have done it. - Exactly. No, no, exactly. 684 00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,006 I mean, it is so not me. 685 00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:11,091 I totally agree. Let's forget it happened. 686 00:34:11,383 --> 00:34:14,762 Great. I mean, look, I've had one-night stands. 687 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:18,106 We both have had one-night stands, none of which we're proud of, but... 688 00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:20,100 Really? 689 00:34:20,976 --> 00:34:23,149 Look, to think that you and I could just have sex 690 00:34:23,270 --> 00:34:25,443 and without it compromising anything was just so... 691 00:34:25,605 --> 00:34:27,903 - Misguided. - Exactly. 692 00:34:28,149 --> 00:34:29,492 I was gonna call you this morning. 693 00:34:29,734 --> 00:34:30,781 But you didn't. 694 00:34:30,944 --> 00:34:31,945 But I didn't. 695 00:34:32,112 --> 00:34:34,285 And you see, it's already coming between us and I really... 696 00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:35,703 I just don't want it to. 697 00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:36,829 It's not going to. 698 00:34:36,950 --> 00:34:39,829 Look, I know that I act all tough and I talk all tough, but really... 699 00:34:39,953 --> 00:34:42,752 It's just a front to protect yourself from your own vulnerability. 700 00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:45,292 What are you, my fucking therapist now? 701 00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:50,097 No, I'm a friend. Who knows that every time you curse, you blink. 702 00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:53,642 - Like your body's rejecting the word. - It does not. 703 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:54,801 - Fuck you. - Blinked. 704 00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:56,644 - No, I didn't fucking blink. - Blinked again. 705 00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:58,430 - Shit. - Ah, didn't blink. 706 00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:00,106 "Shit" you're okay with. 707 00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:02,188 - It was stupid. - Yes. 708 00:35:02,309 --> 00:35:05,188 - We're friends, let's stay friends. - Yes. Yes, this, I don't wanna lose this. 709 00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:06,438 Me neither. 710 00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:07,647 - Great. - Fantastic. 711 00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:09,612 Portrait for the lovely couple? 712 00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:19,785 - What the hell are we doing? - I don't know. 713 00:35:22,162 --> 00:35:24,335 - Rub my hair. - Kiss my neck. 714 00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:28,506 - Watch my nipple. - All right, all right. 715 00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:32,010 - I didn't know you had a tattoo. - Yeah. 716 00:35:32,339 --> 00:35:33,465 Why didn't I notice that before? 717 00:35:33,673 --> 00:35:35,050 Because we were drunk. 718 00:35:35,300 --> 00:35:37,143 - Was it your dog? - No. Never had one. 719 00:35:37,302 --> 00:35:38,394 But everyone else did. 720 00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:40,184 And I thought having a dog meant you had a normal family, 721 00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:41,978 which at 17 I desperately wanted. 722 00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:43,980 So as a sign of rebellion you got a tattoo 723 00:35:44,184 --> 00:35:45,652 of the most conventional thing you could think of. 724 00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:47,354 It was super awesome back then. 725 00:35:47,562 --> 00:35:48,654 - Check it. - Okay. 726 00:35:48,855 --> 00:35:50,107 - A lightning bolt? - Eighteen. 727 00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:51,407 - Wanted superpowers. - Yeah. 728 00:35:52,359 --> 00:35:54,236 I was a little into Harry Potter back then. 729 00:35:54,361 --> 00:35:56,955 - Were you also gay back then? - Harry Potter doesn't make you gay! 730 00:35:57,030 --> 00:35:58,828 - Okay. - Are you sure about this? 731 00:35:58,907 --> 00:35:59,954 - Are you? - No. 732 00:36:00,033 --> 00:36:01,205 Me neither. 733 00:36:05,664 --> 00:36:07,883 - How was your day? - It was okay. 734 00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:10,218 - I had a turkey sandwich for lunch. - How was that? 735 00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:12,053 It wasn't that good. How was your day? 736 00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:14,548 Still trying to figure out that subway system. It is tricky. 737 00:36:17,384 --> 00:36:18,886 And it's out of here! 738 00:36:25,225 --> 00:36:26,898 - My butt. - What? 739 00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:28,565 - Oh, my butt. - Really? 740 00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:31,823 No, I mean my butt, it's cramping. Can you grab a pillow? 741 00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:33,115 Okay, yeah, yeah. 742 00:36:34,567 --> 00:36:36,240 - So, no butt? - No. 743 00:36:39,739 --> 00:36:42,208 - Really? Already? - Just kidding. 744 00:36:47,122 --> 00:36:49,420 - Do you like this position? - Yeah, it's all right. 745 00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:54,262 I gotta be honest, I feel a little emasculated. 746 00:36:55,088 --> 00:36:59,138 A naked girl is lying on top of you and you feel emasculated? 747 00:37:00,468 --> 00:37:02,687 - Little bit. - You do know what that word means, right? 748 00:37:02,762 --> 00:37:04,810 Yes, I know what it means, and I feel it. 749 00:37:04,931 --> 00:37:07,104 Okay, all right, you big baby. 750 00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:09,394 - Chinese fire drill. - Okay. Go! 751 00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:12,776 Okay. 752 00:37:15,608 --> 00:37:17,076 - Do you feel manly now? - I do. 753 00:37:17,277 --> 00:37:18,494 Okay. Put it in. 754 00:37:19,946 --> 00:37:20,947 That's not funny. 755 00:37:21,281 --> 00:37:22,783 - It's kind of funny. - It's kind of funny. 756 00:37:27,287 --> 00:37:28,459 - Hold on. - What's wrong? 757 00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:29,581 I have to go to the bathroom. 758 00:37:29,664 --> 00:37:32,008 - What? Now? - Yes, now. I had a lot of watermelon. 759 00:37:43,303 --> 00:37:44,350 What's going on in there? 760 00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:46,098 Do you know how hard it is to pee with a hard-on? 761 00:37:46,181 --> 00:37:47,228 No, actually. 762 00:37:47,307 --> 00:37:49,605 It's like two lanes of traffic merging into one. It takes time. 763 00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:57,776 - Are you pooping? - No. 764 00:37:57,859 --> 00:37:59,987 - Why are you sitting down? - It's easier to control. 765 00:38:00,195 --> 00:38:02,994 - You want a mess in here? - No. No, no. Sorry. 766 00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:18,175 Yeah. 767 00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:20,010 Yup... 768 00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:24,226 What? Did I leak? 769 00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:25,345 Did you wash your hands? 770 00:38:25,845 --> 00:38:26,892 Oh, come on, dude. 771 00:38:27,013 --> 00:38:28,640 I know we're just friends, but I'm still a lady. 772 00:38:29,015 --> 00:38:32,360 Now get back in there, wash your hands and then bring that fine ass back here. 773 00:38:32,477 --> 00:38:35,026 If you keep talking to me like that, I'm not gonna come back. 774 00:38:40,693 --> 00:38:43,572 - My hammies are killing me. - Have a banana, they're in the fridge. 775 00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:45,074 Why would you keep bananas in the fridge? 776 00:38:45,365 --> 00:38:47,538 - It dries them out. - It doesn't. They have a peel. 777 00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:49,161 It's not armor. Air still gets in. 778 00:38:49,244 --> 00:38:50,496 Do you want a banana or not? 779 00:38:50,703 --> 00:38:52,080 Not if they're dry. I'm not an animal. 780 00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:55,879 At least I have food in the house. 781 00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:57,840 All you have at home is drinkable yogurt. 782 00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:00,171 I like to drink my yogurt. It's a timesaver. 783 00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:02,724 Well, then you think you could use that time to shave your stubble. 784 00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:04,309 Your whiskers are like knives. 785 00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:08,059 Now, see, if you were my girlfriend, I couldn't tell you to shut up right now. 786 00:39:08,221 --> 00:39:10,565 And because you're just my buddy, I can tell you 787 00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:15,404 that if you don't start shaving up here, I'm gonna stop shaving down there. 788 00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:21,492 Hey, hey. Hey... 789 00:39:21,568 --> 00:39:23,115 - Mom! - "Mom"? 790 00:39:24,571 --> 00:39:27,120 My eyes are covered. I don't know what you're doing. 791 00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,914 I can't see you putting on your black underpants. 792 00:39:30,034 --> 00:39:32,002 Jamie, baby, I missed you. 793 00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:33,421 On, baby. 794 00:39:33,705 --> 00:39:35,924 Did your boobs get bigger? Mom, I'm over here. 795 00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:39,051 Hey, baby. Oh, no, they didn't. 796 00:39:39,252 --> 00:39:42,973 - What are you doing here? - Victor turned out to be a total Lombard. 797 00:39:43,256 --> 00:39:46,601 L-O-M-B-A-R-D. "Lots Of Money But A Real Dullard." 798 00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:47,970 Victor, her fiancé. 799 00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:49,471 Ex-fiancé. 800 00:39:49,596 --> 00:39:51,644 - What happened? - Nothing. He was just blah. 801 00:39:51,764 --> 00:39:53,607 I mean, nice, but it was like talking to dirt. 802 00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:56,444 I woke up one day and I said, "Lorna..." I'm Lorna. 803 00:39:57,437 --> 00:40:00,281 - Dylan. - I said, "Lorna, this is not your bliss." 804 00:40:00,648 --> 00:40:02,366 - "Just because you're 39..." - Forty-eight. 805 00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:05,070 "...It doesn't mean you have to settle. He's not an insurance claim." 806 00:40:05,153 --> 00:40:07,030 So I caught the first plane off the island. 807 00:40:07,113 --> 00:40:09,787 - Cleveland's not an island. - Oh, baby, it is. 808 00:40:10,116 --> 00:40:12,744 Anyway, here I am. It's so good to see you. 809 00:40:12,827 --> 00:40:15,250 You never told me you had a hot boyfriend. 810 00:40:15,455 --> 00:40:17,207 He's not my boyfriend, Mom. 811 00:40:17,290 --> 00:40:19,167 - That's right, we're just friends. - I love it. 812 00:40:19,292 --> 00:40:21,670 It's like the '70s in here. 813 00:40:22,462 --> 00:40:24,635 That was a better time. Just sex. 814 00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:27,805 A little grass, a little glue... Not during pregnancy. 815 00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:29,599 Well, not during the final trimester. 816 00:40:29,677 --> 00:40:32,180 But no complications. It's great! 817 00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:35,854 Okay, well, that's technically, I guess, what this is. 818 00:40:36,017 --> 00:40:37,314 That's exactly what this is. 819 00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:39,278 So my daughter is just your slampiece? 820 00:40:39,479 --> 00:40:41,322 No, no. "Slampiece"? 821 00:40:41,439 --> 00:40:43,658 I'm just kidding. Slam away. 822 00:40:43,816 --> 00:40:45,113 Have fun. I think this is great. 823 00:40:45,193 --> 00:40:46,820 The only thing is, it takes you off the market. 824 00:40:46,986 --> 00:40:48,954 But what the hell. The whole reason you go to the market 825 00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:51,783 is to buy the produce, which you already got. 826 00:40:52,992 --> 00:40:56,997 It's so good to see you, baby. I'm only gonna be here a few weeks. 827 00:40:57,121 --> 00:40:58,998 I'm starving. You got any gin? 828 00:40:59,332 --> 00:41:00,959 It's in the kitchen. 829 00:41:02,460 --> 00:41:03,507 You gotta go. 830 00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:06,306 - Is she wearing Axe body spray? - I don't know. Come on. 831 00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:08,679 Bananas in the refrigerator? What are you, Puerto Rican? 832 00:41:09,008 --> 00:41:12,558 - That is terrible, Mother. - Just joking. Your dad was Puerto Rican. 833 00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:14,181 What? You said that he was Greek. 834 00:41:14,347 --> 00:41:15,815 - Potato, potato... - Get your shoes. 835 00:41:15,890 --> 00:41:18,439 - Okay. All right. - Well, not... Just go, just go. 836 00:41:18,518 --> 00:41:20,065 I'll just put these on on the bike? 837 00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:21,233 - Yeah. - Okay. 838 00:41:21,854 --> 00:41:22,901 It was nice to have met you... 839 00:41:23,022 --> 00:41:24,615 - Hey. - And your pants are coming off. 840 00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:26,739 Oh, my... Mom! Mom, please! 841 00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:30,029 Back, back! 842 00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:35,919 That's what I'm talking about! 843 00:41:36,703 --> 00:41:39,206 We're kicking every gay ass out here! 844 00:41:39,414 --> 00:41:41,758 I don't say that pejoratively, I say it hopefully. 845 00:41:41,874 --> 00:41:43,376 Hold it. Any of you gay? 846 00:41:43,543 --> 00:41:45,045 - Not even you? - Come on, man. 847 00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:47,263 Come talk to me after. Give me five minutes of your time. 848 00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:49,098 I might be able to let you see some reason. 849 00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:57,015 Look at you in the house! 850 00:41:57,098 --> 00:41:58,224 Come on, baby! 851 00:41:59,726 --> 00:42:00,852 I'm supposed to meet up with Jamie. 852 00:42:01,936 --> 00:42:03,609 Who's that, that headhunter? 853 00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:05,198 What, you guys going out now? 854 00:42:05,273 --> 00:42:07,901 No, no, no, we're just friends. We're messing around a little bit. 855 00:42:08,276 --> 00:42:09,994 - What do you mean? - Sleeping together. 856 00:42:10,069 --> 00:42:11,366 But it's just sex. 857 00:42:11,446 --> 00:42:13,073 That never works, bro. 858 00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:16,918 She's a girl. Sex always means more to them even if they don't admit it. 859 00:42:17,076 --> 00:42:18,168 Jamie's different. 860 00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:20,838 Does she have a penis where most girls have a vagina? 861 00:42:20,913 --> 00:42:22,586 - No penis. - Then she's no different. 862 00:42:22,915 --> 00:42:24,292 What do you know about women, anyway? 863 00:42:24,417 --> 00:42:27,091 Dude, I've turned down more tail than you'll ever have. 864 00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:28,303 Yeah, bro. You're gay. 865 00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:32,259 But the offers still keep rolling in, naturally. Look at me. 866 00:42:32,633 --> 00:42:38,640 And, hey, I love women. They're beautiful, majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures. 867 00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:42,736 Smart, empathetic. Far superior to men in every way. 868 00:42:43,102 --> 00:42:46,572 And if I had a choice, I would be with women to my dying day. 869 00:42:46,647 --> 00:42:49,821 But me likes cock so I'm strict-aly dick-aly. 870 00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:53,246 So it's always just about sex, then? 871 00:42:53,321 --> 00:42:56,666 No. I've been in love. I went down that rabbit hole. 872 00:42:56,991 --> 00:42:58,288 You know what I discovered? 873 00:42:58,951 --> 00:43:01,045 It's not who you want to spend Friday night with, 874 00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,589 it's who you want to spend all day Saturday with. 875 00:43:03,664 --> 00:43:04,756 Feel me, Felix? 876 00:43:04,832 --> 00:43:08,177 Yeah, but then it's every Saturday for the rest of your life. 877 00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:10,096 It's okay, you don't get it. 878 00:43:10,338 --> 00:43:12,511 It's no big deal. But you will. 879 00:43:13,174 --> 00:43:17,099 One day, you'll meet someone and it'll literally take your breath away. 880 00:43:17,261 --> 00:43:21,357 Like you can't breathe. Like no oxygen to the lungs. 881 00:43:21,516 --> 00:43:23,860 - Like a fish... - Yeah, I get it, Tommy. 882 00:43:24,352 --> 00:43:25,444 Yeah, you don't. 883 00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:28,356 Nice work on that new online site, by the way. 884 00:43:28,815 --> 00:43:30,317 What was the font on that headline? 885 00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:31,700 It was Times Roman. 886 00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,116 Times Roman. Inspired. I'm out. 887 00:43:40,660 --> 00:43:41,707 You have a boat? 888 00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:45,169 I live in Jersey. And I ain't taking no ferry. 889 00:43:45,832 --> 00:43:47,709 Unless it's out to dinner and a show. 890 00:44:04,016 --> 00:44:05,017 - Hey. - Yeah. 891 00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:10,445 You and that Dylan? Way to go. I mean the whole friendship-sex thing. 892 00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:12,196 Kudos, baby, kudos. 893 00:44:13,693 --> 00:44:15,036 It's not that big of a deal. 894 00:44:15,236 --> 00:44:19,161 It's just surprising. I always thought you were a true-love kind of girl. 895 00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:22,539 Whatever, Mom. It's not like it's stopping me from anything. 896 00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:24,545 That's what I thought back in '78. 897 00:44:25,204 --> 00:44:26,672 And every year since. 898 00:44:26,914 --> 00:44:29,258 I'm just... I'm flattered, actually. 899 00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:31,343 The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 900 00:44:32,211 --> 00:44:34,009 It's just surprising. 901 00:44:35,506 --> 00:44:38,225 - There, done. It's... There we go. - Okay. 902 00:44:39,844 --> 00:44:42,848 You look great! You look great. You look like a princess. 903 00:44:43,556 --> 00:44:44,728 - Yeah! - Really? 904 00:44:44,891 --> 00:44:46,234 - Yeah. - Okay. 905 00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:50,196 Hey, my friend gave me his house in Montauk for July 4th. 906 00:44:50,271 --> 00:44:53,195 Let's you and me go away together. No men, no bullshit. 907 00:44:53,274 --> 00:44:56,073 Just mother-daughter. Like a Nora Ephron movie. 908 00:44:56,861 --> 00:44:59,410 When was the last time we spent a full weekend together? 909 00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:02,576 When I was eight, that time in Vermont. We got snowed in with the ski instructor. 910 00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:03,792 - Demitri. - Bill. 911 00:45:03,910 --> 00:45:05,253 He reminded me a lot of your father. 912 00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:08,923 Dark curls, olive skin, Cold War accent. 913 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:10,883 - My father was Russian? - I don't remember. 914 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:14,091 But what I do remember is we drank a lot of vodka and shot a lot of guns. 915 00:45:14,378 --> 00:45:17,757 Mom, this "who's your daddy" game is getting really old. 916 00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:20,601 I know I haven't been the best mother in the world... 917 00:45:23,596 --> 00:45:25,064 I'm sorry, were you waiting for me to jump in? 918 00:45:25,264 --> 00:45:28,393 Come on! Go away with me. Come on! 919 00:45:29,227 --> 00:45:31,070 Come on. Come on. 920 00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:34,323 Okay, we'll do it. It'll be fun, yeah? 921 00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:42,949 - Mom... - I was trying to bond! 922 00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:45,452 It was either this or sniff glue. 923 00:45:50,998 --> 00:45:53,251 - Sorry about my mom. - I thought she was funny. 924 00:45:53,334 --> 00:45:56,133 Yeah, she's really funny when she's asking for money, 925 00:45:56,254 --> 00:45:58,803 and she's hilarious when she needs a place to stay. 926 00:46:04,136 --> 00:46:07,265 Dylan, I think I wanna start dating again. 927 00:46:08,140 --> 00:46:11,144 Listen, I think we should stop this. 928 00:46:14,105 --> 00:46:15,448 Yeah? 929 00:46:16,148 --> 00:46:17,195 I kind of think you're right. 930 00:46:17,316 --> 00:46:18,317 Right? 931 00:46:18,526 --> 00:46:24,033 Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. 932 00:46:24,448 --> 00:46:25,916 That actually makes sense right here. 933 00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:27,960 Who would've thought Third Eye Blind could be so prophetic? 934 00:46:28,035 --> 00:46:29,161 Not Third Eye Blind. 935 00:46:29,287 --> 00:46:31,005 I'm pretty sure that's Third Eye Blind. 936 00:46:31,163 --> 00:46:32,289 Do you wanna go grab some lunch? 937 00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:33,499 - Yes. - Okay. 938 00:46:33,708 --> 00:46:35,301 - You're buying. - What? 939 00:46:37,545 --> 00:46:38,637 Okay. 940 00:46:41,007 --> 00:46:42,008 - Pants. - Shirt. 941 00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:43,847 So this is the end of this? 942 00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:45,887 - I guess so. But it's good. - Yeah. 943 00:46:46,012 --> 00:46:47,389 - And we did it. - With no bullshit. 944 00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:48,560 - Shirt. - Sweater. 945 00:46:49,473 --> 00:46:51,316 We managed to actually stay friends. 946 00:46:51,684 --> 00:46:52,810 - Yup. - Yeah. 947 00:46:57,231 --> 00:46:59,029 Okay. So, what is your type, anyway? 948 00:46:59,191 --> 00:47:01,193 No, I don't have a type. 949 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,579 - It's more about what's inside. - Oh, please! 950 00:47:03,696 --> 00:47:05,414 Okay, what about her? 951 00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:08,038 Yeah. I could get to know her inside. 952 00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:09,206 And she's reading a book. 953 00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:11,333 It's probably Nicholas Sparks. 954 00:47:11,871 --> 00:47:13,669 - I'm gonna go talk to her. - What? 955 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,917 What do you mean, "What?" We said we wanted to date again. 956 00:47:16,042 --> 00:47:17,715 - I'm gonna go talk to her. - Now? 957 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,337 Here, in front of all of these people? 958 00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:22,723 I didn't say I was gonna rape her. I said I was gonna go talk to her. 959 00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:29,393 Excuse me. I'm Dylan. Nice to meet you. 960 00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:31,015 The Notebook. 961 00:47:37,438 --> 00:47:38,564 Nice meeting you. 962 00:47:42,276 --> 00:47:44,825 - Well? - We talked. We laughed. 963 00:47:44,904 --> 00:47:46,030 Yeah. 964 00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:48,411 - She's Belgian. - Explains the reading. 965 00:47:48,741 --> 00:47:50,163 I showed her where the balcony was, 966 00:47:50,242 --> 00:47:52,916 because that's where she is meeting up with her husband. 967 00:47:54,914 --> 00:47:56,086 Anniversary trip to New York. 968 00:47:56,374 --> 00:47:59,378 Three kids. Christof, Karlina and Pepijn. 969 00:48:00,503 --> 00:48:01,550 Shut up. 970 00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:05,432 Why are you still laughing? At least I gave it a shot. 971 00:48:05,674 --> 00:48:08,268 Fine. I'll go next. 972 00:48:08,594 --> 00:48:10,938 - See if I still have game. - Okay. 973 00:48:11,097 --> 00:48:12,440 - Okay. - Okay. 974 00:48:12,556 --> 00:48:14,024 - Yes. - Right here. Eleven o'clock. 975 00:48:14,266 --> 00:48:16,860 - Iced coffee. - Handsome, but doesn't know it. 976 00:48:17,395 --> 00:48:20,444 Staring at a tree, which means he's actually in the park for nature 977 00:48:20,523 --> 00:48:22,116 and not to watch women sunbathe. 978 00:48:22,274 --> 00:48:23,867 - Or he's retarded. - Don't care. 979 00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:25,069 I'm going in. 980 00:48:31,909 --> 00:48:33,377 - Excuse me. - Yes? 981 00:48:33,869 --> 00:48:34,961 - Hi. - Hello. 982 00:48:35,454 --> 00:48:36,751 I'm Jamie. 983 00:48:38,374 --> 00:48:39,626 Yeah. Yeah, that works. 984 00:48:41,377 --> 00:48:42,629 Hi. 985 00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:46,136 Okay. 986 00:48:46,298 --> 00:48:47,390 - Nice to meet you. - Oh, my God! 987 00:48:52,138 --> 00:48:56,894 Okay. His name is Parker. He's a children's oncologist. 988 00:48:58,144 --> 00:48:59,817 And I have a date this Saturday. 989 00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:02,319 - Nice. - Thank you. 990 00:49:03,149 --> 00:49:04,947 Why'd you wave to me? 991 00:49:05,484 --> 00:49:08,408 I told him you were my gay best friend, 992 00:49:08,487 --> 00:49:10,239 so he wants to set you up with his brother. 993 00:49:12,992 --> 00:49:16,792 College, med school, and I haven't slept since. 994 00:49:17,204 --> 00:49:19,206 I can't believe you actually cure cancer. 995 00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:21,542 Well, me and God. 996 00:49:22,376 --> 00:49:23,844 - What? - I'm kidding. 997 00:49:24,170 --> 00:49:26,673 Can you imagine someone who would actually say that? 998 00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:28,845 Yeah, I could. I've been out with a lot of them. 999 00:49:29,049 --> 00:49:30,676 - Cancer doctors? - No, assholes. 1000 00:49:31,343 --> 00:49:32,390 Yeah. 1001 00:49:32,511 --> 00:49:33,683 Well, hopefully you're all done with that. 1002 00:49:34,847 --> 00:49:38,351 Although, I gotta warn you, lot of cancer doctors, big assholes. 1003 00:49:38,476 --> 00:49:39,477 - Really? - Yeah. 1004 00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:42,484 And brain surgeons, huge perverts. 1005 00:49:42,730 --> 00:49:45,404 While they're doing this, a little bit of that. 1006 00:49:47,026 --> 00:49:48,027 Hey. 1007 00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:50,700 Thank you. 1008 00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:52,581 When can I see you again? 1009 00:49:56,702 --> 00:49:57,703 Right now. 1010 00:49:59,205 --> 00:50:00,582 - I'm just kidding. - Okay. 1011 00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:02,379 Can you imagine someone who would actually say that? 1012 00:50:03,209 --> 00:50:04,711 I played the tuba in high school. 1013 00:50:04,919 --> 00:50:07,047 World's stupidest instrument. 1014 00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:09,097 Especially when you move eight times. 1015 00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:12,886 - Why'd you move? - My mom really likes to break up with guys, 1016 00:50:13,052 --> 00:50:14,429 and she was really good at it. 1017 00:50:14,595 --> 00:50:16,848 - Was your dad one of them? - No, no, he was long before that. 1018 00:50:17,264 --> 00:50:18,561 I actually never knew my dad. 1019 00:50:18,891 --> 00:50:20,268 I'm sorry. That sucks. 1020 00:50:23,229 --> 00:50:25,573 All right, look, I think I should probably tell you something. 1021 00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:27,199 Please don't tell me you're a dude. 1022 00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:29,527 Because that'll be like the third time since I moved here, 1023 00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:31,237 and I don't think I can handle that. 1024 00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:32,576 I have a five-date rule. 1025 00:50:33,405 --> 00:50:36,079 - You know, like, five dates before we... - Yeah. 1026 00:50:36,283 --> 00:50:38,957 I saw it in a movie. I thought I'd give it a try. 1027 00:50:40,246 --> 00:50:41,293 You're worth waiting for. 1028 00:50:42,414 --> 00:50:44,257 I'm sure that was the line in the movie you saw. 1029 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,086 That's awesome. 1030 00:50:47,253 --> 00:50:50,052 This four-year-old that I've been working on for the last couple months, 1031 00:50:50,256 --> 00:50:51,303 he's gonna be fine. 1032 00:50:51,590 --> 00:50:52,762 - That's great. - Yeah. 1033 00:50:53,592 --> 00:50:55,219 How is a guy like you single? 1034 00:50:55,302 --> 00:50:58,306 I've just been waiting for someone to come up to me in the park 1035 00:50:58,597 --> 00:51:00,941 and compliment me for looking at the trees and not the sunbathers. 1036 00:51:01,058 --> 00:51:02,435 I meant it. It was impressive. 1037 00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:04,562 Actually, if I'm gonna be completely honest with you, 1038 00:51:04,645 --> 00:51:06,363 I was sleeping standing up. 1039 00:51:06,438 --> 00:51:09,567 I worked 36 hours straight. I don't even know how I got to the park. 1040 00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:11,827 How is a girl like you single? 1041 00:51:13,779 --> 00:51:14,905 I have issues. 1042 00:51:15,114 --> 00:51:16,661 One might even call me damaged. 1043 00:51:16,991 --> 00:51:18,493 Actually, one did call me damaged. 1044 00:51:18,617 --> 00:51:19,743 Get out of here. Damaged how? 1045 00:51:20,452 --> 00:51:21,669 I kind of believe in true love. 1046 00:51:22,329 --> 00:51:24,923 That there might be a Prince Charming out there for me. 1047 00:51:30,254 --> 00:51:35,226 Listen, I know this is probably a no because all you do is work like a dull boy, 1048 00:51:35,301 --> 00:51:37,645 but would you like to come get a beer? 1049 00:51:37,761 --> 00:51:38,762 I'm good. 1050 00:51:38,846 --> 00:51:40,598 No, it's not a gay bar. 1051 00:51:40,681 --> 00:51:44,652 And there'll be just as many hot girls as hot guys. 1052 00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:49,031 You know what? I will come out. 1053 00:51:49,189 --> 00:51:51,942 All right. Let's find you a lady. 1054 00:51:52,985 --> 00:51:54,111 You're still not gay, right? 1055 00:51:54,194 --> 00:51:55,491 - Nope. - Okay. 1056 00:52:01,327 --> 00:52:03,000 - What? - Do you know what today is? 1057 00:52:04,038 --> 00:52:06,336 - Date number five. - I wasn't even counting. 1058 00:52:11,670 --> 00:52:14,640 - Wanna go in the bedroom? - No. Here's fine. 1059 00:52:20,846 --> 00:52:23,190 I am so glad I met you tonight. 1060 00:52:23,807 --> 00:52:25,229 Me, too. 1061 00:52:29,063 --> 00:52:31,031 What are you thinking? 1062 00:52:31,857 --> 00:52:34,155 Just how great you are. 1063 00:52:45,746 --> 00:52:47,168 Annie, hey. 1064 00:52:47,247 --> 00:52:49,591 Who the fuck is Annie? 1065 00:52:49,708 --> 00:52:50,925 My sister. 1066 00:52:51,043 --> 00:52:53,045 Better be. I'll cut her. 1067 00:52:55,547 --> 00:52:56,719 Of course I'm coming. 1068 00:52:57,049 --> 00:53:01,225 Yeah, I'm taking the 4th off, so I'll be there for three days. 1069 00:53:11,897 --> 00:53:13,524 Yeah. How's Dad? 1070 00:53:14,024 --> 00:53:15,401 Any worse? 1071 00:53:16,193 --> 00:53:17,866 All right, tell him I said hi. 1072 00:53:18,737 --> 00:53:20,239 Bye, Banannie. 1073 00:53:23,909 --> 00:53:26,253 I want you to meet my parents. 1074 00:53:26,870 --> 00:53:28,793 No, you... Really? 1075 00:53:36,296 --> 00:53:37,593 God! 1076 00:53:55,899 --> 00:53:57,993 Hey. Hold on, hold on. 1077 00:53:58,610 --> 00:54:01,238 No, just hold on. Just give me a second. 1078 00:54:01,321 --> 00:54:04,120 I gotta go find a place to talk. Okay. 1079 00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:08,458 Shit. Shit. Just hold Oh. 1080 00:54:08,579 --> 00:54:09,751 - Oh, sorry. - Hold on. 1081 00:54:09,830 --> 00:54:11,423 I was out pretty late last night. 1082 00:54:11,749 --> 00:54:14,673 When I got in, you and your girlfriend were on the couch 1083 00:54:14,793 --> 00:54:16,340 so I just crashed in your bed. 1084 00:54:16,462 --> 00:54:18,135 - He's not a girl. - He smells like a girl. 1085 00:54:18,297 --> 00:54:20,516 - You smelled him? - I wanna buy marshmallows. 1086 00:54:20,632 --> 00:54:23,226 - What did you say? - For Montauk this weekend. 1087 00:54:23,302 --> 00:54:26,101 I wanna do a campfire, like when you were little. 1088 00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:27,272 Okay. 1089 00:54:27,347 --> 00:54:30,317 - And then we're gonna look for sticks. - I hear you. Sticks. 1090 00:54:30,434 --> 00:54:33,313 And then we're gonna sing. We're gonna... 1091 00:54:33,479 --> 00:54:35,447 Just hold on a second. 1092 00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:37,612 Okay. 1093 00:54:39,693 --> 00:54:40,865 Okay. 1094 00:54:45,866 --> 00:54:47,083 What's up? 1095 00:54:47,159 --> 00:54:49,127 Do you think guys care more about global warming 1096 00:54:49,203 --> 00:54:51,626 or how to wear white pants to a cookout? 1097 00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:52,831 We/I, that depends. 1098 00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:55,630 Do you have a hot model in a bikini standing on an icecap? 1099 00:54:55,709 --> 00:54:57,427 No. Ski slope. 1100 00:54:57,503 --> 00:54:59,471 I'd still go with pants to a cookout. 1101 00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:01,177 Yeah, me, too. 1102 00:55:01,715 --> 00:55:04,514 How's your boy Parker? Still staring at trees? 1103 00:55:04,635 --> 00:55:06,888 Two coffees. Yeah, he's still looking up at trees, 1104 00:55:07,012 --> 00:55:09,231 but this time it's actually in my apartment. 1105 00:55:09,348 --> 00:55:11,726 - It's the fifth date already? - Maybe. Thank you. 1106 00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:14,569 Did you guys "fifth-date""? 1107 00:55:14,686 --> 00:55:18,361 - How dare you! A lady never tells. - I know. That's why I'm asking you. 1108 00:55:21,902 --> 00:55:24,746 Hey. I gotta go. You have a great trip in LA and call me when you land. 1109 00:55:25,072 --> 00:55:26,198 Okay. 1110 00:55:26,323 --> 00:55:27,745 Parker. 1111 00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:29,705 Hey. 1112 00:55:30,994 --> 00:55:33,838 I got us coffees. Nonfat, one sugar, one Splenda. 1113 00:55:34,414 --> 00:55:36,041 - I gotta get going. - What? 1114 00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:37,418 I thought you weren't on call today. 1115 00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:40,843 I'm not, but I got that thing... I got stuff. 1116 00:55:40,921 --> 00:55:42,548 This... They just called me. 1117 00:55:44,550 --> 00:55:46,518 - Really? - Yeah. 1118 00:55:46,677 --> 00:55:49,897 The sneak-out. How incredibly cliché of you. 1119 00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:51,390 I just... 1120 00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:54,268 I don't think I can be your Prince Charming. 1121 00:55:54,393 --> 00:55:57,237 God, you totally didn't get anything that I was saying, did you? 1122 00:55:57,354 --> 00:56:00,699 - No, no, no. I think you're great. - Yeah, you, too. 1123 00:56:01,024 --> 00:56:02,697 Hey, you know what? You and I should stay friends. 1124 00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:04,778 - Really? - No, go fuck yourself. 1125 00:56:15,747 --> 00:56:17,090 Who sleeps standing up? 1126 00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:18,755 You know, you'd be really proud of me. 1127 00:56:18,876 --> 00:56:20,844 I didn't even blink when I told him to go fuck himself. 1128 00:56:20,919 --> 00:56:24,594 - You did just then, though. - This does not count. I'm not in the moment. 1129 00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:26,888 I don't know, maybe I suck in bed. 1130 00:56:26,967 --> 00:56:28,310 Trust me, you don't suck in bed. 1131 00:56:29,094 --> 00:56:30,937 - Thank you. - So needy. 1132 00:56:31,054 --> 00:56:32,681 Hey, maybe the guy's married or something. 1133 00:56:32,764 --> 00:56:34,607 No, did a background check at work. 1134 00:56:34,725 --> 00:56:37,820 Single, no criminal history, credit report 720. 1135 00:56:37,936 --> 00:56:39,529 Background check. Did you do one on me? 1136 00:56:39,605 --> 00:56:41,824 How could you possibly max out an Old Navy card? 1137 00:56:41,940 --> 00:56:44,113 After college I was really into cargo pants. 1138 00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:47,662 Dylan, I gotta stop thinking it's not me. 1139 00:56:47,779 --> 00:56:50,032 - I mean, it's gotta be me. - It's not you. 1140 00:56:50,115 --> 00:56:51,367 Nothing is wrong with you. 1141 00:56:51,450 --> 00:56:53,452 He's a guy. You gave him a five-date challenge, 1142 00:56:53,577 --> 00:56:55,955 he got you and cutout. Forget the douche. 1143 00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:58,502 He's a dick. He's a dick-douche. 1144 00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:01,168 Go have fun with your mom. 1145 00:57:01,668 --> 00:57:04,842 - Okay. - Almost forgot. I got you something. 1146 00:57:12,471 --> 00:57:15,145 It's Lieutenant Kali, the street artist we talked about. 1147 00:57:15,307 --> 00:57:17,810 I got him to do something for you. "F-tale." Fairytale. 1148 00:57:18,477 --> 00:57:21,651 - I know you're into that girly shit, so... - This is so cool. 1149 00:57:22,773 --> 00:57:24,741 Dylan, that's actually really sweet. 1150 00:57:24,816 --> 00:57:26,818 - It's cool, right? - Yeah. Thank you. 1151 00:57:28,654 --> 00:57:30,327 Hey, I'm gonna need to borrow cab fare. 1152 00:57:31,490 --> 00:57:33,663 I'm not taking that thing on the subway. I don't wanna get rolled. 1153 00:57:33,784 --> 00:57:34,876 No problem. 1154 00:57:34,993 --> 00:57:36,995 As long as you get your feet off my bed. They're disgusting. 1155 00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:40,381 What are you doing? 1156 00:57:40,499 --> 00:57:41,796 Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? 1157 00:57:42,334 --> 00:57:44,211 You're an animal. Stop doing that. An animal. Stop. 1158 00:57:48,340 --> 00:57:49,808 Hey, Ma. 1159 00:57:51,134 --> 00:57:53,557 Ma. Come on, we gotta get on the road. 1160 00:57:54,012 --> 00:57:55,355 Come on. 1161 00:57:55,472 --> 00:57:56,894 Ma? 1162 00:58:15,534 --> 00:58:17,411 Why did I think that this time would be any different? 1163 00:58:17,536 --> 00:58:19,163 - Come with me to LA. - What? 1164 00:58:19,246 --> 00:58:21,965 What else are you gonna do? It's 4th of July, everybody's left the city. 1165 00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:23,792 You're very sweet for asking, but it's fine. 1166 00:58:23,875 --> 00:58:25,548 You know what, I'll just stay here. I'll be fine alone. 1167 00:58:25,669 --> 00:58:27,888 I know you'll be fine alone. You're not a baby in a hot car. 1168 00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:30,723 I'm actually asking you to come because it would help me. 1169 00:58:31,049 --> 00:58:32,767 You'd be a great distraction for my family. 1170 00:58:32,884 --> 00:58:35,057 They'd forget all about drilling me for being single. 1171 00:58:35,220 --> 00:58:36,392 Won't they think that we're together? 1172 00:58:36,513 --> 00:58:38,561 - Not if I tell them we're not. - And they'll believe you? 1173 00:58:38,682 --> 00:58:41,060 Yeah, we're one of these crazy families that doesn't lie to each other. 1174 00:58:41,184 --> 00:58:42,527 PBS is doing a documentary on us. 1175 00:58:42,728 --> 00:58:43,775 Come on, they'll love you. 1176 00:58:43,895 --> 00:58:46,364 All fast-talking and brusque, like I'm bringing home a carny. 1177 00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,535 You're really nice to ask, but I'm just gonna stay here. 1178 00:58:49,609 --> 00:58:50,861 Go to the gym. 1179 00:58:51,111 --> 00:58:54,035 I just got you a ticket with my miles, it's done. Meet me at JFK. 1180 00:58:54,114 --> 00:58:55,536 - But... - No buts. 1181 00:58:55,615 --> 00:58:58,459 - Like you were gonna go to the gym. - I wasn't. 1182 00:59:11,923 --> 00:59:13,550 LA's so nice. 1183 00:59:14,134 --> 00:59:15,977 And everyone's so genuine and level-headed. 1184 00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:20,600 Thanks for this. You're good peeps. 1185 00:59:20,766 --> 00:59:22,393 You're the good peeps, dude. 1186 00:59:22,476 --> 00:59:25,104 You haven't met my family. You don't know what you're in for. 1187 00:59:26,897 --> 00:59:28,069 Okay. 1188 00:59:28,315 --> 00:59:30,158 You know these planes pretty much land themselves? 1189 00:59:30,275 --> 00:59:33,154 Nobody cares. You sound like an asshole. 1190 00:59:34,613 --> 00:59:35,990 She's from New York. 1191 00:59:36,114 --> 00:59:37,457 I'm sorry. 1192 00:59:48,126 --> 00:59:50,424 Wow. This looks normal. 1193 00:59:50,504 --> 00:59:51,756 It is. 1194 00:59:52,631 --> 00:59:53,757 Thank you. 1195 00:59:57,969 --> 00:59:59,846 Wow, you grew up here? 1196 01:00:00,472 --> 01:00:02,474 It was my grandfather's. 1197 01:00:02,641 --> 01:00:04,268 He bought it when there was nothing else here. 1198 01:00:04,434 --> 01:00:06,653 My dad and my sister and her son live here now. 1199 01:00:08,105 --> 01:00:09,982 Why would you move to New York? 1200 01:00:10,148 --> 01:00:11,650 I was conned by some headhunter. 1201 01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:14,320 - You're here. - Sammy! 1202 01:00:14,486 --> 01:00:15,487 Hey, Uncle Dylan. 1203 01:00:15,654 --> 01:00:16,871 What's up, buddy? 1204 01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:18,915 How are you? 1205 01:00:18,990 --> 01:00:21,709 Jamie, this is my nephew, Sam the Magnificent. 1206 01:00:21,952 --> 01:00:24,580 - Hello. - May I offer you a light for your cigarette? 1207 01:00:24,663 --> 01:00:26,336 I'm sorry, I don't smoke. 1208 01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:28,254 Just pretend. He's a magician. 1209 01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:31,212 Of course I'll have a cigarette. Smoking is great for you. 1210 01:00:34,506 --> 01:00:38,886 - Wow. Thank you, good sir. - My pleasure, my lady. 1211 01:00:39,803 --> 01:00:41,146 Oh, my God. I got it, I got it. 1212 01:00:41,221 --> 01:00:43,394 Sammy. I got it, I got it. Just stay still. I got it, I got it. 1213 01:00:43,515 --> 01:00:45,142 Sammy! Are you okay? 1214 01:00:45,225 --> 01:00:46,477 All part of the illusion. 1215 01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,187 - Jet Skis later? - Definitely. 1216 01:00:49,229 --> 01:00:50,446 Still into magic, huh? 1217 01:00:50,522 --> 01:00:53,696 Yep. But I'll take that over him sexting his friends any day. 1218 01:00:54,526 --> 01:00:56,745 - Dilbert! - Banannie. 1219 01:00:58,071 --> 01:01:00,574 Jamie, this is my sister, Annie. 1220 01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:02,121 - Hi. - Thank you for having me. 1221 01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,168 Oh, please. It's nice to have Dylan bring a girl home. 1222 01:01:04,244 --> 01:01:05,837 - We're just friends. - Oh, no, I know. 1223 01:01:05,912 --> 01:01:08,085 If you were his girlfriend, he never would've brought you here. 1224 01:01:08,206 --> 01:01:10,880 - This one has intimacy issues. - I know. 1225 01:01:11,042 --> 01:01:12,089 - Dylan. - Dad. 1226 01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:13,837 - Dylan. Oh, man. - Hey. 1227 01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:16,298 - How you doing, buddy? - I'm good. 1228 01:01:16,381 --> 01:01:18,349 I miss you guys, but I'm good. 1229 01:01:19,593 --> 01:01:20,765 Dede Spencer? 1230 01:01:21,219 --> 01:01:23,096 Jamie. Dylan's friend. 1231 01:01:25,265 --> 01:01:27,017 - I'm sorry. I... - That's okay. 1232 01:01:27,100 --> 01:01:29,068 No, for a minute you reminded me of a girl I used to know. 1233 01:01:29,227 --> 01:01:31,571 - No, that's okay. It happens. - Nice to meet you. 1234 01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:33,782 Pleasure meeting you. You have a beautiful house. 1235 01:01:33,899 --> 01:01:34,900 Thank you. 1236 01:01:35,192 --> 01:01:38,366 Pool's a little cold, but it's very expensive to heat, so... 1237 01:01:39,404 --> 01:01:41,406 I think I'm gonna goin and check the tide tables 1238 01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:43,124 'cause I'm gonna take the boat out early in the morning. 1239 01:01:43,241 --> 01:01:44,743 - You should come. - I would love to. 1240 01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:46,461 We sold the boat. 1241 01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:48,580 The doctor doesn't want you driving the boat any more. 1242 01:01:50,874 --> 01:01:52,751 - Turning to mush. - No. 1243 01:01:54,377 --> 01:01:56,596 It's good to see you, buddy. 1244 01:01:56,755 --> 01:01:58,382 - Nice to meet you. - It was nice meeting you, too. 1245 01:01:58,465 --> 01:02:00,217 - Jamie. See? - Yes. 1246 01:02:05,222 --> 01:02:08,066 - What's with the pants? - He doesn't like them any more. 1247 01:02:08,266 --> 01:02:10,109 He's getting worse. 1248 01:02:10,477 --> 01:02:12,229 It's so good to have you here. 1249 01:02:13,438 --> 01:02:14,485 Go show her the beach. 1250 01:02:15,941 --> 01:02:17,989 - Let me show you the beach. Come on. - Okay. 1251 01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:20,953 - Go, get sandy. Get all messed up. - Okay. 1252 01:02:36,503 --> 01:02:38,551 Dylan never told me about your dad. 1253 01:02:38,630 --> 01:02:41,349 Yeah, it's been tough on him. They were real close. 1254 01:02:42,008 --> 01:02:43,885 Dylan doesn't quite know how to deal with the Alzheimer's. 1255 01:02:43,969 --> 01:02:45,186 I'm sorry. 1256 01:02:45,303 --> 01:02:47,897 He'll be his regular old self and everything seems fine, 1257 01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:50,647 and then just in a flash, he's gone. 1258 01:02:52,602 --> 01:02:55,105 - That's Dylan when he was nine. - Are those braids? 1259 01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:57,983 He was going through a Kris Kross phase. Remember them? 1260 01:03:03,446 --> 01:03:06,199 - Is that your mom? - No, that's Dylan's speech therapist. 1261 01:03:07,325 --> 01:03:10,295 He had a stutter. It got real bad when he was nervous. 1262 01:03:10,537 --> 01:03:12,005 He had a rough childhood. 1263 01:03:12,163 --> 01:03:15,167 - His math tutor called it "character-building." - Math tutor? 1264 01:03:15,292 --> 01:03:19,138 No, we're talking, like, 8 times 6 equals 1,200. 1265 01:03:19,212 --> 01:03:21,306 But he's very visual, thank God. 1266 01:03:21,548 --> 01:03:26,054 - Can you please explain to me this photo? - That is my 12th-birthday surprise party. 1267 01:03:26,177 --> 01:03:28,225 - Hey. - Amazing moment. 1268 01:03:28,346 --> 01:03:30,064 I'm exhausted. I'm gonna go to bed. 1269 01:03:30,181 --> 01:03:33,230 - Jamie, you all good with your room? - Yeah. No, it's perfect. 1270 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:35,395 Thank you. Thank you for everything. 1271 01:03:40,191 --> 01:03:43,411 Sammy and I built a saw-a-girl-in-half box, so just be careful on your way to bed. 1272 01:03:43,528 --> 01:03:46,657 - He's not using a real saw, is he? - Of course he is. He's magnificent. 1273 01:03:47,157 --> 01:03:50,536 I'll make sure he brushes his teeth, and you, don't believe anything she says. 1274 01:03:50,660 --> 01:03:52,162 She's a liar. 1275 01:03:53,204 --> 01:03:55,673 - He's a pretty special guy. - Yeah, I think so. 1276 01:03:58,418 --> 01:04:00,386 - Jamie. Hey. - Hey. 1277 01:04:00,712 --> 01:04:01,884 - You up? - Yeah. Come in. 1278 01:04:04,841 --> 01:04:06,639 - I thought you were going to bed. - I was. 1279 01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:09,392 But then I realized we were both single again, so... 1280 01:04:13,099 --> 01:04:14,726 - Dude, no. - Why not? 1281 01:04:14,851 --> 01:04:16,728 I washed my hands. With soap this time. 1282 01:04:16,895 --> 01:04:18,772 Are you serious? Why would you just assume? 1283 01:04:18,938 --> 01:04:22,613 You cracked your neck on the porch. This thing. That's your tell, remember? 1284 01:04:22,776 --> 01:04:26,076 I cracked my neck because we were on a flight for six hours, 1285 01:04:26,738 --> 01:04:29,617 and you were yapping my ear off about how planes all fly themselves, 1286 01:04:29,741 --> 01:04:31,243 and it actually kinked my neck a bit. 1287 01:04:31,368 --> 01:04:34,087 - So, no? - No. Not having sex with you. 1288 01:04:34,204 --> 01:04:36,457 Is it your special time? They have an app for that. No, wait. 1289 01:04:39,417 --> 01:04:41,385 - Nope, you're good to go. - We talked about this. 1290 01:04:41,461 --> 01:04:44,135 - Plus, I just got dumped, so... - Okay, I'm sorry. 1291 01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:46,553 I thought this would be a good way to take your mind off him. 1292 01:04:46,633 --> 01:04:48,761 No, I don't function that way. Sex is not gonna help. 1293 01:04:49,219 --> 01:04:51,347 But you know what will? Emotional support. 1294 01:04:51,429 --> 01:04:54,308 Before we were sex without emotion, and now we're emotion without sex. 1295 01:04:54,432 --> 01:04:55,854 Exactly. 1296 01:04:55,934 --> 01:04:57,777 I just need you to be my friend right now. 1297 01:04:57,894 --> 01:04:59,942 Okay. So I'll listen to you while you give me a hand job. 1298 01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:02,574 - No. - I'm kidding. I got it. Good night. 1299 01:05:02,816 --> 01:05:06,821 Wait, hold on! Friends can still hang out and, I don't know, listen to music. 1300 01:05:07,070 --> 01:05:08,117 Listen to music? 1301 01:05:10,156 --> 01:05:11,282 I'm gonna kill Annie. 1302 01:05:12,117 --> 01:05:15,121 - I can't believe you used to like them. - I didn't like these guys. 1303 01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:16,292 I don't even remember... 1304 01:05:28,967 --> 01:05:31,311 And then there's something, I don't know what he says right there... 1305 01:05:33,805 --> 01:05:36,354 Are you kidding me? These dudes were da bomb. 1306 01:05:36,474 --> 01:05:38,351 Everybody had Girbauds, we all wore them backwards. 1307 01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:39,477 The baseball jerseys. 1308 01:05:41,312 --> 01:05:43,314 I went as Kris Kross three years in a row for Halloween. 1309 01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:45,613 - Oh, you poor kid. - I'm not proud of it. 1310 01:05:45,859 --> 01:05:49,489 Hey, I borrowed one of your books. I hope that's okay. 1311 01:05:53,032 --> 01:05:54,329 Like this. 1312 01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:57,833 No. 1313 01:06:06,546 --> 01:06:07,672 Surprise! 1314 01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:14,684 Have you really never brought a girl home before? 1315 01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:16,686 I brought you here. 1316 01:06:16,806 --> 01:06:19,980 I mean like a real girl. Not a friend. 1317 01:06:20,852 --> 01:06:22,854 - A real girl? - Yeah. 1318 01:06:24,147 --> 01:06:25,569 I guess not. 1319 01:06:25,690 --> 01:06:28,364 - Separation of church and state. - Ah, yes. 1320 01:06:28,526 --> 01:06:32,030 Build up as many walls as possible. That's really healthy. 1321 01:06:32,155 --> 01:06:34,249 - What, are you talking to me about walls? - Yeah. 1322 01:06:34,365 --> 01:06:36,584 What about you and your mom? 1323 01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:39,713 You couldn't get me out of there fast enough when she walked in on us. 1324 01:06:39,871 --> 01:06:41,999 That was for your own protection. Okay? 1325 01:06:42,081 --> 01:06:45,927 I'm just surprised she didn't try to slip you her number or something. 1326 01:06:46,044 --> 01:06:48,217 She did. She put it in my phone. 1327 01:06:48,338 --> 01:06:50,432 - Under "MILF." - Oh, my God. 1328 01:06:50,548 --> 01:06:53,222 It's cool, we only hooked up, like, twice. 1329 01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:57,142 I'm starting to get a mental image. 1330 01:06:57,222 --> 01:06:58,474 Well, I have a video image. 1331 01:06:58,556 --> 01:07:01,730 No. Just stop it. Just stop it. 1332 01:07:04,354 --> 01:07:06,402 Just wrong. 1333 01:07:09,734 --> 01:07:10,906 What? 1334 01:07:12,445 --> 01:07:14,743 Nothing. Just glad I met you. 1335 01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:20,249 Yeah, well, knowing you doesn't suck either. 1336 01:07:38,096 --> 01:07:41,270 - But I thought you said... - I know what I said. 1337 01:09:18,446 --> 01:09:19,538 God. 1338 01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:46,603 Lasorda was a good pitcher, but he was an even better manager. 1339 01:09:46,724 --> 01:09:49,193 - Wrecking Crew? - I wasn't saying he's not a great manager. 1340 01:09:49,268 --> 01:09:51,020 He's underappreciated as a pitcher, that's all I'm saying. 1341 01:09:51,104 --> 01:09:52,447 We get it. Guys. 1342 01:09:52,563 --> 01:09:53,655 - Hi. - Morning. 1343 01:09:53,731 --> 01:09:57,235 - Good morning. - Is it always this beautiful out here? 1344 01:09:57,735 --> 01:10:00,614 Well, in between the fires and the floods, we get about 10 good days. 1345 01:10:01,239 --> 01:10:03,492 No, no. Here. You two sit together. 1346 01:10:03,574 --> 01:10:04,951 - Are you sure? - Oh, yeah, no, no. 1347 01:10:05,076 --> 01:10:07,750 - You don't have to do that, Dad. - I know. I wanna look at the boat. 1348 01:10:07,829 --> 01:10:09,581 I love that boat. 1349 01:10:09,914 --> 01:10:11,757 - Here. Sorry. - Great. Thanks. 1350 01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,297 Here. 1351 01:10:14,127 --> 01:10:16,801 Thank you. This... Okay. 1352 01:10:18,423 --> 01:10:20,517 - Coffee, my lady? - Yes, please. 1353 01:10:21,509 --> 01:10:22,931 Thank you. 1354 01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:27,186 - All right, man! - Look at you! 1355 01:10:27,432 --> 01:10:30,561 - That's pretty impressive. - Yay, Sammy! 1356 01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:32,316 All right! 1357 01:10:32,645 --> 01:10:36,445 Oh, buddy. Your shirt's leaking. Oh, no, that's... 1358 01:10:36,524 --> 01:10:37,650 Apologies. 1359 01:10:42,363 --> 01:10:43,535 Here. 1360 01:10:48,119 --> 01:10:49,792 - You okay? - Yeah. 1361 01:10:50,705 --> 01:10:52,127 - You? - Yeah. 1362 01:11:04,552 --> 01:11:06,805 - See them, Sammy? - Yeah. 1363 01:11:08,639 --> 01:11:10,641 - Pretty cool, huh? - Yeah. 1364 01:11:11,559 --> 01:11:13,402 God, it's nice. 1365 01:11:13,478 --> 01:11:17,733 I do miss the mornings out here. Right before it burns off, it really is beautiful. 1366 01:11:17,982 --> 01:11:19,199 I like Jamie. 1367 01:11:21,819 --> 01:11:23,662 And she's pretty, too. 1368 01:11:23,821 --> 01:11:26,495 Hey, easy, dude. Don't you go casting a spell on her. 1369 01:11:26,824 --> 01:11:30,499 I'm a magician, not a wizard. You and your gay Harry Potter. 1370 01:11:30,995 --> 01:11:33,544 You can't deny that going to Hogwarts wouldn't be life-changing. 1371 01:11:34,665 --> 01:11:37,168 - I miss you. - I miss you, too, bud. 1372 01:11:38,169 --> 01:11:41,013 Mom misses you. And so does Grandpa. 1373 01:11:43,007 --> 01:11:44,179 Does he say anything? 1374 01:11:44,509 --> 01:11:47,353 No. But sometimes he calls me Dylan. 1375 01:11:50,223 --> 01:11:51,850 He said that he didn't want the job. 1376 01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:54,686 That he was just coming to New York to explore his options. 1377 01:11:54,936 --> 01:11:56,108 What a crock of gas. 1378 01:11:57,104 --> 01:11:59,198 You fly across the country to explore your options? 1379 01:11:59,273 --> 01:12:00,695 Please. I don't think so. 1380 01:12:00,775 --> 01:12:04,405 Exactly! Please, I knew I had him the second he got off that plane. 1381 01:12:04,570 --> 01:12:05,787 - Oh, did you, now? - Yeah. 1382 01:12:05,863 --> 01:12:08,457 Was that the same second you leapt onto the baggage carousel barefoot 1383 01:12:08,533 --> 01:12:09,876 and acted out a scene from Will and Grace? 1384 01:12:10,535 --> 01:12:12,412 - She did? - Oh, yeah, you should have seen her. 1385 01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:13,880 "Look at me, I'm goofy but cute." 1386 01:12:13,955 --> 01:12:15,502 You know what? It was all part of my plan. 1387 01:12:15,581 --> 01:12:16,753 Quite a plan. 1388 01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:18,342 Did you major in Planning at Headhunting College? 1389 01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:20,761 - So clever. - It's not a real college, by the way, buddy. 1390 01:12:20,878 --> 01:12:23,927 You guys bicker like you're an old married couple. 1391 01:12:24,215 --> 01:12:25,512 Here, pick a card, my lady. 1392 01:12:25,591 --> 01:12:26,763 Okay. 1393 01:12:26,884 --> 01:12:28,852 Oh, no, not that one. The one on top. 1394 01:12:28,928 --> 01:12:31,101 - This is a good one. - So... 1395 01:12:31,222 --> 01:12:32,394 - Yeah? - Shuffle. 1396 01:12:32,557 --> 01:12:34,480 Did you get her an engagement gift? 1397 01:12:34,892 --> 01:12:37,486 We're not engaged, Dad. We're not together. We're just friends. 1398 01:12:37,562 --> 01:12:41,738 All right, you don't wanna label it. I understand. But get her some jewelry. 1399 01:12:42,733 --> 01:12:44,110 The only thing your mom loves is jewelry. 1400 01:12:44,235 --> 01:12:47,739 I don't care how upset she is, I get her jewelry, she lights right up. 1401 01:12:48,114 --> 01:12:49,286 Where is she, anyway? 1402 01:12:50,616 --> 01:12:53,790 - She's not here, Dad. - I know, that's why I asked. Where is she? 1403 01:12:56,122 --> 01:12:58,295 - She's not coming. - Why not? 1404 01:12:58,833 --> 01:13:01,586 She doesn't live with you any more, Pop. You're not married. 1405 01:13:02,336 --> 01:13:04,964 - What? - She left about 10 years ago. 1406 01:13:05,089 --> 01:13:06,181 I don't understand. 1407 01:13:06,591 --> 01:13:08,468 She divorced you, Dad. 1408 01:13:11,596 --> 01:13:12,939 - I have to call her. - Dad, you can't. 1409 01:13:13,014 --> 01:13:14,436 Stop telling me what to do. 1410 01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:17,276 Get your... 1411 01:13:20,938 --> 01:13:22,190 Grandpa! 1412 01:13:22,440 --> 01:13:23,737 Dylan, get... 1413 01:13:23,816 --> 01:13:25,193 - You okay, Dad? - I'm fine, I'm fine. 1414 01:13:25,276 --> 01:13:27,699 - Here, let me help you up. - No, don't. Don't! 1415 01:14:00,019 --> 01:14:01,487 Here we are. 1416 01:14:02,563 --> 01:14:04,861 This is beautiful. 1417 01:14:04,982 --> 01:14:07,735 Yeah, this is where I used to come to think. My rooftop. 1418 01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,320 Okay, how high do you think that fence is? 1419 01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:10,989 I'm a little over 6 foot. 1420 01:14:11,155 --> 01:14:14,409 Looks like it's about three of me. So six times three... 1421 01:14:15,493 --> 01:14:17,166 Ninety-two feet. 1422 01:14:17,662 --> 01:14:21,041 - Ninety-two feet. That's really tall, right? - Yeah. 1423 01:14:21,999 --> 01:14:25,503 But they don't want you to get up there, so I guess that makes sense. 1424 01:14:25,586 --> 01:14:29,341 - Wait. Six times three... - Oh, God, you poor kid. 1425 01:14:30,216 --> 01:14:32,059 - What's up? - Come on. 1426 01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:34,057 What? What? Where are you going? 1427 01:14:34,679 --> 01:14:37,398 Jamie, no, no, no, no, no, wait. They take this shit seriously, okay? 1428 01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:38,516 Look at all the cameras. 1429 01:14:38,599 --> 01:14:41,978 This is the only landmark this city has other than the Scientology Center. 1430 01:14:42,061 --> 01:14:45,156 And if any of these cameras are hooked up to the actual Scientology Center, 1431 01:14:45,231 --> 01:14:47,108 that was an inappropriate joke and I apologize. 1432 01:14:47,191 --> 01:14:49,785 I believe in the freedom of science fiction. 1433 01:14:51,278 --> 01:14:52,951 Pussy! Oh, sorry. 1434 01:14:53,030 --> 01:14:54,077 Pussy! 1435 01:14:54,448 --> 01:14:55,540 Come on! 1436 01:15:01,872 --> 01:15:04,671 - You really never been up here before? - No. 1437 01:15:04,750 --> 01:15:07,219 I've also never transferred heroin in my rectum, 1438 01:15:07,294 --> 01:15:09,092 'cause it's against the law. 1439 01:15:09,422 --> 01:15:13,222 You know, sometimes a simple yes or no answer is adequate. 1440 01:15:13,384 --> 01:15:15,057 Hey, why didn't you tell me about your mom? 1441 01:15:15,553 --> 01:15:17,555 She's not worth talking about. 1442 01:15:18,222 --> 01:15:19,223 That's rough. 1443 01:15:19,557 --> 01:15:20,934 So is leaving your husband and kids. 1444 01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:24,107 Yeah, you never told me about him either. 1445 01:15:24,228 --> 01:15:26,151 You know, there's a lot of stuff you didn't tell me. 1446 01:15:26,272 --> 01:15:27,819 I don't want your pity. 1447 01:15:29,316 --> 01:15:33,071 I can handle anything except that look in people's eyes. 1448 01:15:35,489 --> 01:15:38,413 - That one. - Who cares what anybody thinks? 1449 01:15:38,951 --> 01:15:42,296 He's the smartest man I've ever known. He's the only person I'd ever go to for advice. 1450 01:15:42,413 --> 01:15:43,665 He's my dad. 1451 01:15:43,789 --> 01:15:45,211 Dylan, he's still the same man. 1452 01:15:45,291 --> 01:15:46,634 When I see the way people look at him now... 1453 01:15:46,751 --> 01:15:49,925 It doesn't matter how people look at him. 1454 01:15:50,004 --> 01:15:51,256 All that matters is how you look at him. 1455 01:15:51,338 --> 01:15:54,182 Yeah, but he's walking around without his pants. Everyone's staring. 1456 01:15:54,300 --> 01:15:55,893 - So what? - It's embarrassing. 1457 01:15:55,968 --> 01:15:57,641 He needs to know that nothing has changed. 1458 01:15:57,762 --> 01:15:59,639 That he's still that same man to you. 1459 01:15:59,764 --> 01:16:01,766 Can we stop talking about this? 1460 01:16:03,309 --> 01:16:06,563 Yeah, that's really smart. Let's just not talk about our feelings. 1461 01:16:06,645 --> 01:16:07,771 I'm trying not to. 1462 01:16:09,774 --> 01:16:12,869 Come on. Is something going on here? You've been acting really weird. 1463 01:16:13,194 --> 01:16:14,946 - No, I haven't. - Yeah, you have. 1464 01:16:15,529 --> 01:16:16,826 Is this about what happened the other night? 1465 01:16:16,947 --> 01:16:19,041 What, sex? That doesn't mean anything. You know that. 1466 01:16:22,286 --> 01:16:23,333 Right. 1467 01:16:23,454 --> 01:16:25,627 - And I haven't been acting weird. - Okay. 1468 01:16:27,291 --> 01:16:29,669 - Oh, my God! - Oh, shit! 1469 01:16:29,835 --> 01:16:31,758 - I told you! - Well, I'm sorry! 1470 01:16:31,837 --> 01:16:32,884 Fuck! 1471 01:16:32,963 --> 01:16:36,058 This is the LAPD. You are trespassing. Get down from the sign. 1472 01:16:36,133 --> 01:16:37,305 We gotta jump. 1473 01:16:39,220 --> 01:16:41,643 - Dylan, jump! - I'm frozen. 1474 01:16:41,722 --> 01:16:42,814 Come on, get down! 1475 01:16:42,890 --> 01:16:44,016 Sin this is your last warning. 1476 01:16:44,141 --> 01:16:46,314 - Use the ladder! - I have a fear of heights! 1477 01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:51,316 And also helicopters! They don't make sense to me! 1478 01:16:51,398 --> 01:16:53,742 What do you mean you have a fear of heights? 1479 01:16:54,193 --> 01:16:55,615 Why would you come up here? 1480 01:16:55,694 --> 01:16:58,243 You called me a pussy! 1481 01:17:00,241 --> 01:17:02,915 A bizarre situation this afternoon in the Southland. 1482 01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:06,543 The LAPD rescued a local man from the Hollywood sign, 1483 01:17:06,997 --> 01:17:08,715 the city's only real landmark. 1484 01:17:08,833 --> 01:17:11,006 They actually wrapped you in a foil blanket! 1485 01:17:11,210 --> 01:17:12,757 Did you run a marathon before this? 1486 01:17:12,837 --> 01:17:14,384 - Okay. Give me... - No! 1487 01:17:14,505 --> 01:17:16,758 - No, no. I wanna save it. I gotta save it. - No. That's enough! 1488 01:17:16,841 --> 01:17:19,094 - Give me the remote! Shut up! - No, I wanna watch it over and over. 1489 01:17:19,176 --> 01:17:20,769 Foil wrapper... 1490 01:17:20,845 --> 01:17:22,062 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 1491 01:17:23,013 --> 01:17:24,765 It's okay, it'll be up on YouTube. 1492 01:17:26,058 --> 01:17:29,779 Hey, you're still good to take Dad that week I have to go to DC for Sam's class trip, right? 1493 01:17:29,854 --> 01:17:33,028 - Yeah, he's gonna stay with me in New York. - Oh, good. 1494 01:17:33,399 --> 01:17:36,118 So, when are we gonna see Jamie again? 1495 01:17:36,193 --> 01:17:37,661 I don't know. 1496 01:17:37,736 --> 01:17:40,114 What's your problem? Did you have a fight with your girlfriend? 1497 01:17:40,197 --> 01:17:42,245 She's not my girlfriend. Why don't you believe me? 1498 01:17:42,366 --> 01:17:44,710 I would believe you if you didn't lie to me. 1499 01:17:44,785 --> 01:17:46,833 I saw you creeping out of her room the other night. 1500 01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:48,960 Like you had just had sex, if you know what I mean. 1501 01:17:49,206 --> 01:17:50,958 Yes, I know what you mean, you just said it. 1502 01:17:51,041 --> 01:17:53,260 And how do you know what I look like after I have... 1503 01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:56,597 I'm not talking to you about this, okay? We're not together. 1504 01:17:57,047 --> 01:17:59,266 - Dylan. - Enough! I'm not talking about it. 1505 01:17:59,466 --> 01:18:00,718 Dylan. 1506 01:18:02,553 --> 01:18:03,975 Forgot my saw. I'll be right back. 1507 01:18:06,557 --> 01:18:09,106 I'll wait here. Don't worry about me. 1508 01:18:09,226 --> 01:18:12,400 Friends who have sex? What are you, in college? 1509 01:18:12,479 --> 01:18:14,447 - It doesn't matter, it's over. - Why? 1510 01:18:14,565 --> 01:18:16,238 Because we don't like each other like that. 1511 01:18:16,317 --> 01:18:19,287 Okay, you know what? Can we just talk about this? Sit down. 1512 01:18:19,570 --> 01:18:20,992 What more are you looking for? 1513 01:18:21,071 --> 01:18:23,073 - Who says I'm looking for anything? - Dylan. 1514 01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:26,414 - I don't know, but it's not Jamie. - Why, because you're great together? 1515 01:18:26,744 --> 01:18:28,337 Because you're actually friends with each other? 1516 01:18:28,412 --> 01:18:30,881 Because this is the happiest I have ever seen you? 1517 01:18:30,956 --> 01:18:33,835 I don't know what to tell you. She's not for me. I don't like her like that. 1518 01:18:33,918 --> 01:18:37,422 - You liked her enough to have sex with her. - It's just physical. 1519 01:18:37,504 --> 01:18:40,383 - Like playing tennis. - I don't even know what that means, Dylan. 1520 01:18:40,466 --> 01:18:43,015 I haven't seen you this dumb since you got that candy corn tattoo. 1521 01:18:43,135 --> 01:18:45,433 It's a lightning bolt! With extra powers! 1522 01:18:45,512 --> 01:18:47,606 Dylan, you can't name one thing that's wrong with her. 1523 01:18:47,765 --> 01:18:50,894 I can never go out with her. She's too fucked up. 1524 01:18:50,976 --> 01:18:52,899 Okay, she doesn't want a boyfriend. 1525 01:18:52,978 --> 01:18:54,150 She's too damaged. 1526 01:18:54,271 --> 01:18:56,319 Magnum P.l. couldn't solve the shit going on in her head. 1527 01:18:56,440 --> 01:18:58,659 Wow. You'll say anything right now 1528 01:18:58,776 --> 01:19:00,323 not to admit that you're perfect for each other. 1529 01:19:00,444 --> 01:19:02,321 - Why am I still having this conversation? - Because I'm right. 1530 01:19:02,446 --> 01:19:04,119 - Good talk, Annie. - Dylan. 1531 01:19:24,343 --> 01:19:26,391 I don't think the three-point line would have done anything. 1532 01:19:26,470 --> 01:19:28,268 - He was taller than anyone alive. - No, but it helped Kobe. 1533 01:19:28,347 --> 01:19:29,815 - Kobe Bryant is incredible. - It helped him. 1534 01:19:29,890 --> 01:19:33,269 - You're men. You like sports. You're men. - Scored 81 points. Please. 1535 01:19:33,352 --> 01:19:35,229 Hey! We were waiting for you. 1536 01:19:35,521 --> 01:19:36,943 I actually got a call from work. 1537 01:19:37,022 --> 01:19:38,740 I have to be on a red eye tonight back to New York. 1538 01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:40,488 - Tonight? - Yeah. 1539 01:19:40,859 --> 01:19:42,827 - Tomorrow's the 4th. - I know, it sucks. 1540 01:19:43,070 --> 01:19:44,367 Well, at least let me drive you to the airport. 1541 01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:47,492 No, no. It's fine. Stay. I already called a cab. It's out front. 1542 01:19:47,574 --> 01:19:49,622 But thank you guys for everything. 1543 01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:52,501 And thank you for letting me stay here. It's been pretty great. 1544 01:19:55,749 --> 01:19:56,921 - Hey. - Hey. 1545 01:19:57,001 --> 01:19:59,925 - Everything okay, buddy? - Yeah, buddy. Everything's great. 1546 01:20:00,004 --> 01:20:01,347 I just really gotta go. 1547 01:20:01,672 --> 01:20:05,302 So, thank you again. I'm sorry I gotta go. 1548 01:20:05,384 --> 01:20:07,102 - Let Dylan drive you. - Yeah. 1549 01:20:07,177 --> 01:20:10,021 - Do you wanna take some food to go? - Do you want me to saw you in half? 1550 01:20:10,180 --> 01:20:13,434 You can send your bottom part to New York and your top half can stay here. 1551 01:20:14,893 --> 01:20:17,897 Or the whole of you could stay. 1552 01:20:18,022 --> 01:20:19,740 Okay, I'm sorry. I gotta go. 1553 01:20:32,119 --> 01:20:33,541 Jamie! 1554 01:20:41,045 --> 01:20:43,594 She's gone. She hopped in the cab. 1555 01:20:50,888 --> 01:20:53,266 - We should eat. You hungry, buddy? - Yeah. 1556 01:20:53,640 --> 01:20:56,063 Okay. Hand me your plate. 1557 01:21:26,340 --> 01:21:29,184 Hey, bro. You hungry? 'Cause I'm going to get something to eat. 1558 01:21:29,259 --> 01:21:32,263 Thanks, man. I think I'm just gonna work through lunch. 1559 01:21:32,429 --> 01:21:37,526 A work ethic. I love it. That is why this country is still number one. 1560 01:21:38,102 --> 01:21:41,857 Well, behind Germany and France and Belgium and Japan and China and... 1561 01:21:42,272 --> 01:21:44,525 Thank God for Bangladesh. 1562 01:21:45,275 --> 01:21:48,779 By the way, why did you take your door off its lovely hinges? 1563 01:21:48,862 --> 01:21:51,285 It was dumb, man. Something I saw in a management book. 1564 01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:55,203 Oh, right, right. Like, that's how Warren Buffett got rich. 1565 01:21:55,285 --> 01:21:57,037 He took doors off of things. 1566 01:21:57,121 --> 01:21:59,123 Hey, everybody wants a shortcut in life. 1567 01:21:59,206 --> 01:22:02,050 My guidebook is very simple. You wanna lose weight? 1568 01:22:02,209 --> 01:22:03,381 Stop eating, fatty. 1569 01:22:03,502 --> 01:22:04,628 You wanna make money? 1570 01:22:04,711 --> 01:22:06,713 Work your ass off, lazy. 1571 01:22:06,797 --> 01:22:07,923 You wanna be happy? 1572 01:22:08,006 --> 01:22:10,225 Find someone you like and never let him go. 1573 01:22:10,467 --> 01:22:13,471 Or her, if you're into that Kind of creepy shit. 1574 01:22:26,316 --> 01:22:28,819 Hi, you've reached Jamie Rellis. I can't pick up the phone right now 1575 01:22:28,902 --> 01:22:31,496 but please leave a message and I'll call you back. 1576 01:22:38,662 --> 01:22:41,666 Mom, Mom, you gotta point it at the screen. You gotta tell it where you are. 1577 01:22:42,332 --> 01:22:45,711 Fine. I'm over here pouring myself a drink. 1578 01:22:49,756 --> 01:22:53,181 Booty call. I can take a walk around the block. 1579 01:22:53,260 --> 01:22:55,854 No, no. Nope, that's okay. 1580 01:22:55,929 --> 01:22:57,681 This is your apartment. I don't wanna twat-block you. 1581 01:23:00,684 --> 01:23:02,527 That's Dylan, right? 1582 01:23:02,686 --> 01:23:04,484 - He seemed pretty great. - You met him once. 1583 01:23:04,563 --> 01:23:06,406 Well, that's more than anybody else you've dated. 1584 01:23:06,690 --> 01:23:09,694 I don't know, you think maybe I keep my worlds apart for some crazy reason? 1585 01:23:20,871 --> 01:23:23,374 I am an asshole. 1586 01:23:24,041 --> 01:23:27,136 We're looking for someone to lead the redesign of our entire website. 1587 01:23:27,211 --> 01:23:28,963 Someone to turn it completely upside down. 1588 01:23:29,046 --> 01:23:30,798 But you can't tell me what company you work for? 1589 01:23:30,881 --> 01:23:33,430 For confidentiality reasons, no. 1590 01:23:33,550 --> 01:23:34,767 Can you give me a hint? 1591 01:23:34,885 --> 01:23:38,890 We may or may not be the largest seller of purchased goods on the Internet. 1592 01:23:38,972 --> 01:23:41,316 And by 'purchased goods, ” I mean books. 1593 01:23:41,725 --> 01:23:44,319 You just placed the new art director over at GQ, right? 1594 01:23:44,394 --> 01:23:45,441 Yeah. 1595 01:23:45,562 --> 01:23:48,441 That's the type of guy we want. Shoot, that's the guy we want. 1596 01:23:48,565 --> 01:23:49,566 Can you get him to come out to us? 1597 01:23:50,400 --> 01:23:52,994 No longer have a relationship with him. 1598 01:23:53,111 --> 01:23:55,955 - Can you get to him? - He's still in the first year of his contract, 1599 01:23:56,073 --> 01:23:58,496 so that would be inappropriate. 1600 01:23:58,575 --> 01:24:00,669 So is paying full price for a book at Barnes & Noble, 1601 01:24:00,744 --> 01:24:01,916 but people do dumb shit. 1602 01:24:05,582 --> 01:24:08,085 Hi, you've reached Jamie Rellis. I can't pick up the phone right now 1603 01:24:08,168 --> 01:24:10,262 but please leave a message and I'll call you back. 1604 01:24:10,420 --> 01:24:13,424 Wow, right to voice mail. Didn't even ring. 1605 01:24:25,686 --> 01:24:26,938 Jamie. 1606 01:24:28,855 --> 01:24:31,153 How'd you know I was up here? 1607 01:24:32,442 --> 01:24:34,285 Only place in the city you don't get reception. 1608 01:24:34,361 --> 01:24:35,613 Right. 1609 01:24:35,779 --> 01:24:37,873 - Why are you avoiding me? - I'm not. 1610 01:24:38,156 --> 01:24:40,124 Really? Come on, Jamie. 1611 01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:44,289 Well, Dylan, I don't know if you've heard, but I am seriously fucked up. 1612 01:24:44,997 --> 01:24:48,968 I mean, Magnum P.I. couldn't solve the shit going on up here. 1613 01:24:49,960 --> 01:24:52,258 - Oh, my God, I'm sorry. - But I'm just gonna go 1614 01:24:52,337 --> 01:24:55,637 and try to fix the shit going on up in my head, if that's even possible. 1615 01:24:56,300 --> 01:25:00,021 I shouldn't have said that. I was just trying to get my sister off my back. 1616 01:25:00,137 --> 01:25:02,356 - She thought we liked each other. - Yeah, me, too, Dylan. 1617 01:25:02,472 --> 01:25:03,473 I thought we were friends. 1618 01:25:03,557 --> 01:25:06,151 But friends don't go talking shit about each other, 1619 01:25:06,226 --> 01:25:09,605 which must mean that you and I were actually never friends. 1620 01:25:09,688 --> 01:25:13,113 - That all you wanted was to get in my pants. - What? 1621 01:25:13,191 --> 01:25:15,410 You jumped at the chance at your dad's house. 1622 01:25:15,485 --> 01:25:16,577 You cracked your neck. 1623 01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:18,781 I thought you were giving me a sign. We talked about this. 1624 01:25:18,864 --> 01:25:20,207 Oh, my God, really? 1625 01:25:20,324 --> 01:25:22,577 You pulled my robe off. "Oopsy." Remember? 1626 01:25:22,659 --> 01:25:24,878 Yeah. And then you snuck out of the room. 1627 01:25:24,995 --> 01:25:26,167 "Oopsy." Remember that? 1628 01:25:27,164 --> 01:25:30,168 Are you pissed off at me because I didn't cuddle? 1629 01:25:32,002 --> 01:25:36,098 Isn't that why we started this whole arrangement in the first place? 1630 01:25:36,256 --> 01:25:37,929 You wanted this. 1631 01:25:40,594 --> 01:25:42,187 I wanted this? 1632 01:25:43,221 --> 01:25:44,518 Just me? 1633 01:25:44,848 --> 01:25:48,148 God, you are just like every other guy. 1634 01:25:48,226 --> 01:25:51,025 The sad thing is, Dylan, I actually thought you were different. 1635 01:25:51,104 --> 01:25:53,357 Different from what? I'm not your boyfriend, I'm your friend. 1636 01:25:54,191 --> 01:25:56,364 Well, with friends like you, who needs friends? 1637 01:25:59,112 --> 01:26:03,538 And thank you for ruining my mountaintop. 1638 01:26:04,409 --> 01:26:05,706 Asshole. 1639 01:26:12,626 --> 01:26:14,594 Hey, man, you can't be up here. 1640 01:26:15,462 --> 01:26:16,634 Okay. 1641 01:26:16,922 --> 01:26:19,596 - You okay? - I'm fine. 1642 01:26:46,243 --> 01:26:48,291 Bryce, is this for me? 1643 01:26:48,578 --> 01:26:50,956 Yeah. And so is this. 1644 01:26:51,331 --> 01:26:53,925 Madison, will you many me? 1645 01:26:54,251 --> 01:26:56,174 You bet your ass, Flapjack! 1646 01:26:58,422 --> 01:27:00,675 - I love New York. - I love you. 1647 01:27:01,425 --> 01:27:03,302 Oh, my God. Look, the Empire State Building. 1648 01:27:03,510 --> 01:27:04,682 Wow. 1649 01:27:04,761 --> 01:27:06,354 Oh, look, the Statue of Liberty. 1650 01:27:13,687 --> 01:27:15,109 Hello, this is Jamie. 1651 01:27:16,940 --> 01:27:18,863 What do you mean they went to him directly? 1652 01:27:19,943 --> 01:27:21,445 Well, is he gonna take it? 1653 01:27:21,611 --> 01:27:24,706 No, no, no, no, no. I'll handle it. I'll call him right now. 1654 01:27:24,781 --> 01:27:25,953 Okay. 1655 01:27:29,703 --> 01:27:31,455 Hey this is Dylan. Leave a message. 1656 01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:41,511 Excuse me. May I help you? 1657 01:27:41,715 --> 01:27:43,763 Oh, hi. Where's Dylan Harper? 1658 01:27:43,842 --> 01:27:45,469 He's at a photo shoot for the sports issue. 1659 01:27:45,969 --> 01:27:49,223 That's right. The photo shoot. Where was that again? 1660 01:27:49,473 --> 01:27:50,565 I'm sorry. Who are you? 1661 01:27:51,308 --> 01:27:52,480 One of the models. 1662 01:27:53,185 --> 01:27:55,313 I have the perfect body for Photoshop. 1663 01:27:55,812 --> 01:27:59,407 Yeah, this gets more angular, these get longer, 1664 01:27:59,524 --> 01:28:01,822 and this gets way more Christian. 1665 01:28:02,319 --> 01:28:04,413 So where did you say he was again? 1666 01:28:05,489 --> 01:28:08,868 Sports is the last chance we have of bringing our world together, bro. 1667 01:28:09,034 --> 01:28:12,083 So I just wanted to shoot some photos that speak to that, 1668 01:28:12,162 --> 01:28:14,540 to the unification of all people through sports. 1669 01:28:14,664 --> 01:28:16,041 Okay, guys. Let's go. 1670 01:28:16,666 --> 01:28:17,838 That's it. 1671 01:28:18,376 --> 01:28:19,593 Beautiful. 1672 01:28:19,753 --> 01:28:21,471 Okay, now put your arms around each other, 1673 01:28:21,546 --> 01:28:23,890 like you like each other, like you love each other. 1674 01:28:24,257 --> 01:28:26,510 - Too gay? - A little bit. 1675 01:28:26,760 --> 01:28:28,888 Throw some girls in there. 1676 01:28:29,012 --> 01:28:31,356 Come on, ladies. Hop to. 1677 01:28:32,933 --> 01:28:36,233 Girls, girls. Okay, look. Just blend in. 1678 01:28:36,686 --> 01:28:38,905 Okay, let's go boy, girl, boy... 1679 01:28:39,022 --> 01:28:40,865 - Dylan. - ...boy, boy, boy, boys. 1680 01:28:41,691 --> 01:28:43,534 - What are you doing here? - You met for another job! 1681 01:28:43,610 --> 01:28:46,363 - What, are you gonna leave now? - I don't know. Yeah, I took one meeting. 1682 01:28:46,446 --> 01:28:48,869 - I can't believe you. - Come here. 1683 01:28:49,908 --> 01:28:52,002 - Is this your way of getting back at me? - What? 1684 01:28:52,077 --> 01:28:54,205 You know that if you leave before a year is up, I get screwed. 1685 01:28:54,454 --> 01:28:55,922 Oh, right. 1686 01:28:56,039 --> 01:28:57,256 If I did leave, 1687 01:28:57,374 --> 01:29:00,173 which I don't know yet because all I did was take one meeting, 1688 01:29:00,252 --> 01:29:02,095 I'd write you a check for your bonus. 1689 01:29:03,380 --> 01:29:05,758 Whatever it is, I'll pay for it. Happy now? We good? 1690 01:29:06,049 --> 01:29:08,222 - Why didn't you tell me you were looking? - That's personal. 1691 01:29:08,301 --> 01:29:10,599 And we're not friends any more. You made that pretty clear. 1692 01:29:12,138 --> 01:29:15,813 See, all I wanted to do was have sex with you. Remember? 1693 01:29:16,560 --> 01:29:18,153 Pretend you were the best friend I'd ever had. 1694 01:29:18,228 --> 01:29:20,071 Open up to you like I've never done with anyone ever. 1695 01:29:20,397 --> 01:29:23,742 And then when the sex stopped, invite you to LA for the weekend 1696 01:29:25,318 --> 01:29:26,786 to introduce you to my family. 1697 01:29:28,321 --> 01:29:30,744 - I'll send you a check if I take the job. - Don't bother. 1698 01:29:35,787 --> 01:29:37,835 Why don't you pick him up? 1699 01:29:38,248 --> 01:29:40,842 Yeah. Just pick him on up. 1700 01:29:41,126 --> 01:29:43,254 Oh, you little Christ figure, you! 1701 01:30:07,444 --> 01:30:09,788 - Hey, Dyl. - Dad's coming into Newark Airport, right? 1702 01:30:09,863 --> 01:30:11,615 Yeah, he leaves at 9:00 our time. 1703 01:30:11,781 --> 01:30:14,625 9:00. So it's a five-hour flight, three-hour time difference, 1704 01:30:14,701 --> 01:30:17,329 so he gets in at 321007 1705 01:30:17,454 --> 01:30:20,458 5:00. Be there at 5:00, Dylan. 1706 01:30:20,707 --> 01:30:22,675 Right. How is Dad? 1707 01:30:24,336 --> 01:30:26,839 He's lost more often than not now. 1708 01:30:26,963 --> 01:30:29,967 But then he has these moments of real clarity. It's hit or miss. 1709 01:30:30,050 --> 01:30:31,222 - Okay. - How's Jamie? 1710 01:30:33,720 --> 01:30:35,313 - That's over. - Oh, Dylan! 1711 01:30:35,472 --> 01:30:38,521 - Okay, we're done. - Don't be an idiot, please. 1712 01:30:38,642 --> 01:30:40,986 Thank you, Annie. I'll pick up Dad tomorrow at the airport. 1713 01:30:41,061 --> 01:30:42,813 - 32:00 sharp. - I love you. 1714 01:30:46,483 --> 01:30:47,860 I don't know what it is. 1715 01:30:47,984 --> 01:30:50,487 I just can't get myself to start looking for a replacement for him, 1716 01:30:50,570 --> 01:30:51,662 assuming that he leaves. 1717 01:30:51,738 --> 01:30:54,958 - Do you want some motherly love advice? - Not really. 1718 01:30:55,033 --> 01:30:56,785 Oh, good, 'cause I don't know how to do that. 1719 01:30:56,868 --> 01:31:00,463 What I do know is that it's no great goddamn secret 1720 01:31:00,538 --> 01:31:03,257 you live in fear of repeating my mistakes. 1721 01:31:03,333 --> 01:31:05,427 And you're not wrong, so learn from me. 1722 01:31:05,669 --> 01:31:08,673 Do you know how many men in my life I thought were really perfect? 1723 01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:10,006 - Eighty. - One. 1724 01:31:10,173 --> 01:31:11,846 - Eighty-one? - One. 1725 01:31:12,050 --> 01:31:14,519 It was your dad. Greatest man I ever met. 1726 01:31:14,594 --> 01:31:16,267 Obviously. Look at you. 1727 01:31:16,346 --> 01:31:19,566 How smart you are, how great, how funny, how driven. 1728 01:31:19,683 --> 01:31:21,026 Your vaguely Middle Eastern beauty. 1729 01:31:21,101 --> 01:31:23,854 Sure as hell didn't all come from me. 1730 01:31:24,187 --> 01:31:26,281 Okay, but, seriously, Mom, 1731 01:31:26,356 --> 01:31:28,700 do you really not remember where my dad's from? 1732 01:31:28,900 --> 01:31:30,527 Or is it like a coping mechanism? 1733 01:31:30,610 --> 01:31:32,408 - A little of both. - Okay. 1734 01:31:32,529 --> 01:31:35,032 But I'm pretty sure he's Eurasian. 1735 01:31:36,199 --> 01:31:39,874 I mean, we all have our Prince Charming, you just gotta know him when you see him. 1736 01:31:40,036 --> 01:31:42,539 Mom, it's Prince Charming. You should just know. 1737 01:31:42,622 --> 01:31:45,876 Well, your Prince Charming isn't coming to rescue you in a horse and carriage. 1738 01:31:45,959 --> 01:31:47,632 That's not who you want. 1739 01:31:47,711 --> 01:31:51,636 I mean, you're looking for a man to be your partner. 1740 01:31:52,549 --> 01:31:54,267 To take on the world with. 1741 01:31:54,384 --> 01:31:57,137 You gotta update your fairytale, baby. 1742 01:31:57,762 --> 01:31:59,605 My Prince Charming? 1743 01:32:00,306 --> 01:32:01,649 You. 1744 01:32:01,808 --> 01:32:02,900 Mom. 1745 01:32:25,165 --> 01:32:28,760 - Hey. - A wheelchair. Like I'm an invalid. 1746 01:32:28,918 --> 01:32:30,465 - How was the flight? - I'm hungry. 1747 01:32:30,587 --> 01:32:32,305 You know they don't serve food in coach any more? 1748 01:32:32,422 --> 01:32:34,675 You'd think with these new planes, they practically fly themselves, 1749 01:32:34,758 --> 01:32:37,307 they could get rid of a pilot and use his salary for a hot lunch. 1750 01:32:37,427 --> 01:32:39,850 - I know, right? Let's get you some food. - God. 1751 01:32:40,305 --> 01:32:42,524 The engineering on these planes is so advanced. 1752 01:32:42,599 --> 01:32:43,816 Completely computerized. 1753 01:32:43,933 --> 01:32:45,935 - It's like playing a video game. - Exactly. 1754 01:32:46,102 --> 01:32:48,946 God. How long have we been waiting here? It's ridiculous. 1755 01:32:49,105 --> 01:32:51,153 I'll be right back, okay? 1756 01:32:53,943 --> 01:32:55,991 Excuse me. We've been waiting a while. 1757 01:32:56,112 --> 01:32:57,785 - Harper. - Yeah, I got you. I got you. 1758 01:32:57,864 --> 01:32:59,491 I have to seat people in the order they came. 1759 01:32:59,616 --> 01:33:01,539 I totally understand that, but I'm with my dad 1760 01:33:01,618 --> 01:33:03,495 - and he's not in the best shape. - I'm sorry. 1761 01:33:03,661 --> 01:33:05,459 Is there no way we could, like, squeeze a table? 1762 01:33:05,830 --> 01:33:08,379 No, I gotta go by the list. Sorry. 1763 01:33:12,295 --> 01:33:13,467 Dad? 1764 01:33:20,303 --> 01:33:21,475 Dad? 1765 01:33:22,806 --> 01:33:24,308 Shit. Dad? 1766 01:33:37,028 --> 01:33:38,496 You gonna join me? 1767 01:33:48,206 --> 01:33:49,833 Absolutely. 1768 01:33:54,546 --> 01:33:56,344 Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry, you cannot do this. 1769 01:33:56,422 --> 01:33:58,641 Could I get a steak, medium, please? 1770 01:33:58,716 --> 01:34:00,684 - Sir, this is the Daily Grill. - Make that two. 1771 01:34:09,853 --> 01:34:11,230 Dede? Dede! 1772 01:34:20,196 --> 01:34:21,368 Dad. 1773 01:34:21,865 --> 01:34:23,208 Dad. 1774 01:34:27,036 --> 01:34:28,128 Who is Dede? 1775 01:34:28,913 --> 01:34:33,214 Jesus. She's just a girl that I met in the Navy. 1776 01:34:34,294 --> 01:34:35,716 Was... 1777 01:34:38,214 --> 01:34:39,807 She was the love of my life. 1778 01:34:41,384 --> 01:34:42,431 Okay? 1779 01:34:43,553 --> 01:34:44,896 Why didn't you tell me about her before? 1780 01:34:45,054 --> 01:34:47,898 This is not something you discuss with your children. 1781 01:34:47,974 --> 01:34:50,853 And besides, I have you and Annie. I have no regrets. 1782 01:34:50,935 --> 01:34:51,982 So tell me now. 1783 01:34:54,230 --> 01:34:55,607 She was the love of my life. 1784 01:34:55,732 --> 01:34:56,984 And I was too stupid to realize it, 1785 01:34:57,066 --> 01:35:00,161 and I lost her because of something so dumb I don't even remember. 1786 01:35:00,904 --> 01:35:02,326 And I never really got over her. 1787 01:35:02,906 --> 01:35:06,661 And I think that may be one of the reasons your mom left. 1788 01:35:07,911 --> 01:35:11,461 You know, my friends used to say that when Dede and I looked at each other, 1789 01:35:11,581 --> 01:35:12,753 it was electric. 1790 01:35:12,832 --> 01:35:14,084 And I let her go. 1791 01:35:14,500 --> 01:35:15,843 I just let her go. 1792 01:35:15,919 --> 01:35:19,469 Because I was too damn proud to tell her howl really felt about her. 1793 01:35:20,173 --> 01:35:22,767 I'll tell you something that I wish I knew when I was your age. 1794 01:35:22,926 --> 01:35:24,769 And I know you've heard a million times, "life is short." 1795 01:35:24,844 --> 01:35:28,439 But let me tell you something, what this is teaching me 1796 01:35:28,514 --> 01:35:31,643 is that life is goddamn short and you can't waste a minute of it. 1797 01:35:34,270 --> 01:35:36,113 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1798 01:35:40,610 --> 01:35:44,456 The girl I brought home to LA, Jamie? 1799 01:35:44,530 --> 01:35:47,204 - Yeah, what's going on with her? - I think I messed it up. 1800 01:35:47,700 --> 01:35:49,293 - Fix it. - She won't talk to me. 1801 01:35:49,619 --> 01:35:51,747 Maybe she'll listen. There's always a way. 1802 01:35:51,829 --> 01:35:56,505 If you think there's even a chance that she could be it, you fix it. 1803 01:35:58,628 --> 01:35:59,880 Did Annie put you up to this? 1804 01:36:00,630 --> 01:36:01,802 Who's Annie? 1805 01:36:02,340 --> 01:36:03,512 I'm kidding. 1806 01:36:03,633 --> 01:36:05,931 What, I can't joke about this? 1807 01:36:06,010 --> 01:36:08,513 - Jesus Christ, Dad. - I don't know what else to do. 1808 01:36:10,348 --> 01:36:11,474 Let's go. 1809 01:36:11,849 --> 01:36:13,897 You don't want to finish your steak? 1810 01:36:13,977 --> 01:36:16,856 We're eating in the goddamn airport. I can leave the steak. Come on. 1811 01:36:17,355 --> 01:36:21,326 Yeah, hey, this is Dylan Harper from GQ. We meta few weeks ago at the... 1812 01:36:21,401 --> 01:36:23,870 Right. Hey, can I ask you a huge favor? 1813 01:36:24,195 --> 01:36:26,664 - I am so sorry, sir. - It's my fault. 1814 01:36:26,739 --> 01:36:28,286 - You just scared me. - No, no. My fault. You all right? 1815 01:36:28,366 --> 01:36:29,868 - Yeah, I'm good. - Here, let me help you with that. 1816 01:36:29,993 --> 01:36:32,587 - Thanks, man. You're really nice. - All right. Hey, safe travels. 1817 01:36:32,662 --> 01:36:34,164 - All right, thanks, man. - Okay, thank you. 1818 01:36:34,914 --> 01:36:38,760 You gotta be fucking kidding me. All right, let's dance, Clowny Brown. 1819 01:36:38,918 --> 01:36:41,592 - What's your problem with me? - I saw you at that bar with Jamie. 1820 01:36:41,838 --> 01:36:45,433 How could such an awesome girl be with this over this? 1821 01:36:46,175 --> 01:36:49,019 I've been trying to take that little monkey to pound-town for years. 1822 01:36:49,512 --> 01:36:51,355 - I'll tell her you say hello. - What? 1823 01:36:51,556 --> 01:36:53,604 You missed a little. There you go. 1824 01:36:53,683 --> 01:36:55,356 Dylan! I got a cab. Come on. 1825 01:36:55,435 --> 01:36:56,857 I ever run into you again, 1826 01:36:56,936 --> 01:36:59,359 I'll crush your earlobes and make soup stock out of them. 1827 01:36:59,522 --> 01:37:01,524 - You have a vivid imagination. - I do! 1828 01:37:01,607 --> 01:37:03,951 - I'm gonna get in the cab now. - I'm gonna go make soup! 1829 01:37:04,027 --> 01:37:05,904 - What's the matter with her? - I don't know. 1830 01:37:10,033 --> 01:37:13,378 God! I thought LA was bad. This traffic is terrible. 1831 01:37:13,536 --> 01:37:14,788 Is there another way into the city? 1832 01:37:25,214 --> 01:37:27,308 I owe you big time, Tommy. 1833 01:37:27,383 --> 01:37:31,763 You'll make it up to me. Actually, I was heading into town anyway. 1834 01:37:32,263 --> 01:37:36,564 Tonight's the Butterfly Ball. Great place to pick up dudes. 1835 01:37:36,726 --> 01:37:38,899 - You okay, Dad? - Are you kidding? 1836 01:37:39,062 --> 01:37:42,362 1937 Chris-Craft? Couldn't get any better, buddy. 1837 01:37:42,440 --> 01:37:43,566 Nice. 1838 01:37:45,818 --> 01:37:47,991 Yeah. Hi, this is Dylan. We met at... 1839 01:37:48,071 --> 01:37:51,166 Right. Can I ask you a huge favor? 1840 01:37:55,661 --> 01:37:58,005 My number. Here's the remote. 1841 01:37:58,247 --> 01:38:01,421 My friend Dave from across the hall, his oven broke, so he'll be using the kitchen. 1842 01:38:01,501 --> 01:38:04,846 Your friend Dave is here using the kitchen or watching me? 1843 01:38:05,254 --> 01:38:06,597 Go. 1844 01:38:06,756 --> 01:38:08,303 - Holy... - What? 1845 01:38:08,424 --> 01:38:10,267 "How to wear white pants to a cookout." 1846 01:38:10,426 --> 01:38:13,521 Did you scoop the Times on this? I smell Pulitzer. 1847 01:38:14,097 --> 01:38:15,314 All right, all right. 1848 01:38:15,431 --> 01:38:16,853 Just say hello to her for me, will you? 1849 01:38:17,850 --> 01:38:19,272 See you, Dad. 1850 01:38:20,603 --> 01:38:21,775 Thanks, man. 1851 01:38:22,146 --> 01:38:23,693 Hi, Dave from across the hall. 1852 01:38:23,773 --> 01:38:27,494 Hi, Mr. Harper. How are you? 1853 01:38:28,361 --> 01:38:29,954 And now we know why you're here. 1854 01:38:30,947 --> 01:38:34,542 Mom, I'm over by the Lexington exit. Where are you? 1855 01:38:34,617 --> 01:38:36,745 I'm standing right by the guy in the tie. 1856 01:38:36,828 --> 01:38:40,503 - There are a million guys in ties. - So look for the guy I'm standing next to. 1857 01:38:40,623 --> 01:38:43,467 You never do what you say you're gonna do. When am I gonna learn? 1858 01:38:43,668 --> 01:38:45,170 Just hang on, baby. 1859 01:38:49,799 --> 01:38:50,891 What? 1860 01:38:53,219 --> 01:38:55,142 I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it after al/. 1861 01:38:55,221 --> 01:38:57,349 Something came up. Let's meet tomorrow. 1862 01:38:57,473 --> 01:39:00,568 I'll be on the stairs. Right across from you. 1863 01:39:05,022 --> 01:39:06,490 Oh, my God. 1864 01:39:06,858 --> 01:39:08,326 Have a great night, baby. 1865 01:39:27,712 --> 01:39:29,259 What is this? 1866 01:39:29,380 --> 01:39:32,054 It's Closing Time, by the band Semisonic! 1867 01:39:32,341 --> 01:39:34,639 It's not Third Eye Blind. Can you believe that? 1868 01:39:34,719 --> 01:39:37,518 No, no, no. Not the song. This. 1869 01:39:37,722 --> 01:39:39,724 You said you wanted your life to be like a movie. 1870 01:39:40,683 --> 01:39:44,278 Sorry I had to use the real Grand Central instead of the fake one. 1871 01:39:51,027 --> 01:39:52,119 Listen, Jamie, I'm... 1872 01:39:52,195 --> 01:39:54,368 I'm having trouble hearing you! 1873 01:39:54,447 --> 01:39:56,324 Yeah, I didn't really think this through. 1874 01:39:56,407 --> 01:39:58,751 I guess in the movies the guy pours his heart out 1875 01:39:58,868 --> 01:40:00,245 and they put the music in later. 1876 01:40:00,411 --> 01:40:01,583 What? 1877 01:40:04,874 --> 01:40:06,046 I messed up. 1878 01:40:07,043 --> 01:40:08,545 I was scared. 1879 01:40:09,378 --> 01:40:11,096 Look at what happened with my mom and my dad. 1880 01:40:11,214 --> 01:40:12,306 Of course I was scared. 1881 01:40:13,132 --> 01:40:14,554 So I ruined it. 1882 01:40:15,718 --> 01:40:17,516 Everything that happens in the day, 1883 01:40:17,595 --> 01:40:20,769 all I can think to myself is, "I can't wait to tell Jamie about this." 1884 01:40:21,766 --> 01:40:24,895 When I see someone cursing, all I picture is you blinking. 1885 01:40:25,728 --> 01:40:30,325 And when I hear a kid's been cured of cancer, I pray it's not by that douchebag, 1886 01:40:30,399 --> 01:40:33,323 tree-hugging fucking doctor who ran out on you. 1887 01:40:33,569 --> 01:40:37,949 I mean, cancer being cured is awesome, but, you know, I wish someone else did it. 1888 01:40:38,824 --> 01:40:40,121 Come on. 1889 01:40:45,081 --> 01:40:47,425 Hey, I miss you. 1890 01:40:47,583 --> 01:40:49,426 Yeah, I miss you, too. 1891 01:40:49,627 --> 01:40:51,595 But you're not wrong, I am damaged. 1892 01:40:51,754 --> 01:40:53,973 So am I. Who isn't? 1893 01:40:54,257 --> 01:40:56,134 That's what makes us so awesome. 1894 01:40:56,259 --> 01:40:57,932 - And our tattoos. - Yeah. 1895 01:41:00,096 --> 01:41:02,599 - No, no, no. - Shut up. It's not what you think. 1896 01:41:03,140 --> 01:41:05,609 Jamie, will you be my best friend again? 1897 01:41:06,644 --> 01:41:08,942 - That is so lame. - I know. 1898 01:41:10,106 --> 01:41:11,733 That's some Prince Charming shit, though, right? 1899 01:41:11,816 --> 01:41:13,033 - Get up. - Okay. 1900 01:41:14,610 --> 01:41:17,830 Look, I can live without ever having sex with you again. 1901 01:41:18,197 --> 01:41:20,040 It'd be really hard. 1902 01:41:20,491 --> 01:41:23,335 Hey, I want my best friend back, 1903 01:41:23,619 --> 01:41:25,462 because I'm in love with her. 1904 01:41:26,330 --> 01:41:28,799 - Under one condition. - Anything. 1905 01:41:30,626 --> 01:41:31,969 Kiss me. 1906 01:41:33,546 --> 01:41:36,174 - In public? In front of all these people? - I did not ask you to... 1907 01:41:55,818 --> 01:41:57,820 You can all go home now. 1908 01:42:04,076 --> 01:42:06,044 Okay. So... 1909 01:42:08,998 --> 01:42:11,171 - What do we do now? - Have our first date. 1910 01:42:11,542 --> 01:42:12,668 Okay. 1911 01:42:15,838 --> 01:42:18,933 Oh, my God! Did you get a horse and carriage? 1912 01:42:20,009 --> 01:42:21,852 Yeah, that's not for you. 1913 01:42:22,053 --> 01:42:25,102 Oh, thank God. Horses actually scare the shit out of me. 1914 01:42:25,264 --> 01:42:26,516 - Really? - Yeah. 1915 01:42:26,682 --> 01:42:27,934 So, where are you from? 1916 01:42:28,017 --> 01:42:30,566 - Outside of Philly, actually. - Interesting. 1917 01:42:30,770 --> 01:42:34,365 - I'm from LA, just moved to New York. - Interesting. Didn't really ask, but go on. 1918 01:42:34,440 --> 01:42:37,740 What? I'm excited, I'm on a first date. So... 1919 01:42:38,069 --> 01:42:40,242 This isn't weird at all. 1920 01:42:40,363 --> 01:42:42,536 - We're okay. - Yeah. Thank you. 1921 01:42:44,909 --> 01:42:46,536 So... 1922 01:42:49,121 --> 01:42:50,714 Yeah, fuck it. 1923 01:49:01,910 --> 01:49:05,665 Roll credits, roll credits, roll credits. And here come the outtakes. 1924 01:49:06,081 --> 01:49:09,426 Because if the actors had a good time making it, it must be good. 1925 01:49:09,585 --> 01:49:11,428 You bet your ass, Jason. 1926 01:49:12,004 --> 01:49:14,427 Oh, my God, I just called him Jason. 1927 01:49:14,506 --> 01:49:16,258 Look, the crew's laughing. 1928 01:49:17,259 --> 01:49:20,138 They made me do it! They made me do it. 1929 01:49:20,804 --> 01:49:22,272 It's my favorite part.151338

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.