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1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:35,000
- Sync and corrections by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard
Colored HI by GoldBerg_44
2
00:00:53,850 --> 00:00:56,850
♪
3
00:00:57,930 --> 00:01:02,940
- Sync and corrections by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard
Colored HI by GoldBerg_44
4
00:01:03,210 --> 00:01:05,310
♪
5
00:01:10,050 --> 00:01:12,520
- (ELECTRONIC CLACKING)
- (SOFTLY):{\c} Ah. Ooh.
6
00:01:14,250 --> 00:01:16,290
(VIDEO GAME CHARACTER GRUNTING)
7
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,630
(COMPUTERS BEEPING)
8
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,200
(VIDEO GAME CHARACTER
SCREECHING)
9
00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:31,240
(WHISPERS):{\c} Oh, bollocks.
10
00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:37,100
Uh, we've got a problem.
11
00:01:37,110 --> 00:01:39,610
- A cyberattack?
- Yes, Prime Minister.
12
00:01:39,610 --> 00:01:42,110
(SIGHS)
Took me two bottles of wine
13
00:01:42,110 --> 00:01:45,580
and half a packet of sleeping
pills to finally nod off.
14
00:01:45,580 --> 00:01:46,650
- Ah, oh...
- And you wake me
15
00:01:46,650 --> 00:01:48,650
because
some fat-fingered hacker's
16
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,450
- pinched your PIN number.
- Well, it's
17
00:01:50,450 --> 00:01:52,150
a little more serious
than that, Prime Minister.
18
00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:54,120
- Mm!
- The identities of every one
19
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,260
of our serving agents
have been exposed.
20
00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:58,290
What?!
21
00:01:58,290 --> 00:02:00,360
- Who's doing this?
- We're not sure, ma'am.
22
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,130
So one week before I host
my first G12 summit,
23
00:02:03,130 --> 00:02:05,330
Britain's entire security
apparatus has been taken down,
24
00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:07,200
and you know
absolutely nothing?
25
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,670
That does pretty much sum up
the situation,
26
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:09,800
- ma'am, yes.
- Well, you'd better get someone
27
00:02:09,810 --> 00:02:11,610
on it and find me some answers.
28
00:02:11,610 --> 00:02:12,870
Yes, but that's the problem.
29
00:02:12,870 --> 00:02:14,310
We don't have any agents left.
30
00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:15,340
They've all been outed.
31
00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:18,380
So bring back an old one!
32
00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:19,810
♪
33
00:02:19,810 --> 00:02:22,320
(BIRD HOOTING IN DISTANCE)
34
00:02:31,190 --> 00:02:33,290
All units, this is Juliet Echo.
35
00:02:33,290 --> 00:02:35,690
Stand by
for target coordinates.
36
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,800
(RUSTLING)
37
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,900
Target acquired.
Repeat:{\c}
38
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:42,540
target acquired.
39
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,280
♪
40
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,590
- Oh!
- (BODY THUMPS)
41
00:02:59,690 --> 00:03:03,060
Now, then, what have we here?
42
00:03:04,690 --> 00:03:06,490
Sorry, sir.
43
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,320
Never mind, Baggaley.
44
00:03:08,330 --> 00:03:11,360
Your concealment and camouflage
work is definitely improving.
45
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,490
- Thank you, sir.
- BOY: Come on!
46
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,770
- ENGLISH: You, too, Ibadulla.
- We got him!
47
00:03:15,770 --> 00:03:18,900
Excellent. That is
a first-class mantrap.
48
00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:20,900
Six house points.
49
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:23,300
- Yes!
- (TOY GUN ZAPPING)
50
00:03:23,310 --> 00:03:25,540
Right. Let's get back to school
before matron notices
51
00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:26,910
- you're missing.
- KIDS: Aw.
52
00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,310
And don't worry, there aren't
53
00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:29,680
any more booby traps.
54
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,410
- Aah!
- Ooh.
55
00:03:31,410 --> 00:03:34,220
Apart from this one, of course.
56
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,190
TEACHER: Excellent work.
Okay, well done.
57
00:03:37,190 --> 00:03:38,620
Come on, Frazer, keep up.
58
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:42,320
♪
59
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,900
Mr. English?
60
00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:52,770
We haven't seen him, sir.
61
00:03:52,770 --> 00:03:54,140
Ah.
62
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,470
And that's camouflage.
63
00:03:58,470 --> 00:04:00,270
(EXCITED CHATTER)
64
00:04:00,270 --> 00:04:02,410
- High five!
- Hmm.
65
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:03,680
♪
66
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,750
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
67
00:04:06,750 --> 00:04:07,750
ENGLISH: And go.
68
00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:12,320
And go. And go.
69
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,520
The welfare of your children
is our paramount concern.
70
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,890
They're never exposed to any
unnecessary risk, I assure you.
71
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,230
(BOY WHOOPS)
72
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,670
(GASPS)
73
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,630
I think that's an "F"
74
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,700
for your bomb disposal
coursework, Hattersley.
75
00:04:34,710 --> 00:04:37,510
You're looking
particularly beautiful tonight.
76
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:40,740
KIDS: You're looking
particularly beautiful tonight.
77
00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:42,680
Ching!
78
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,050
KIDS: Ching!
79
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,120
- Have a good half-term, sir.
- Thank you.
80
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,620
Thank you, sir.
81
00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:52,060
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
82
00:04:56,690 --> 00:04:58,000
(SIGHS)
83
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,570
- ♪
- (ENGINE ROARING)
84
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,220
(TIRES SQUEALING)
85
00:05:28,930 --> 00:05:30,860
♪
86
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,070
(SIGHS):{\c} Whew.
87
00:05:41,070 --> 00:05:43,670
You're seriously telling me
this is all we've got?
88
00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:46,010
Uh, most of them are either
dead, having hip operations,
89
00:05:46,010 --> 00:05:48,170
or recovering
from prostate surgery.
90
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,940
(CLEARS THROAT)
91
00:05:49,940 --> 00:05:51,310
Okay.
92
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,810
LESLEY: Before your briefing,
93
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,110
we'll need you to re-sign
94
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,050
- the Official Secrets Act.
- Thank you.
95
00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:59,350
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
96
00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:01,890
(SOFTLY):{\c} Thank you very much.
97
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:04,460
Any of you gentlemen
remember this?
98
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,820
- AGENT 5: Ooh, the Montblanc Blaster.
- Mm-hmm.
99
00:06:06,830 --> 00:06:08,190
Haven't seen one of those
for years.
100
00:06:08,190 --> 00:06:10,690
Take the cap off,
and, if memory serves,
101
00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:12,200
you've 20 seconds
102
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,200
to replace it, or it detonates
103
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,100
with the force
of a stun grenade.
104
00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,900
- (OTHERS CHUCKLING)
- Oh...
105
00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:20,140
(CHUCKLES BREATHILY)
106
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,740
(SOFT, RHYTHMIC BEEPING)
107
00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:26,310
(PEN SCRIBBLING)
108
00:06:26,310 --> 00:06:28,050
(BEEPING ACCELERATING)
109
00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:33,190
- (BEEPING STOPS)
- (RELIEVED SIGH)
110
00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:35,890
Ooh.
111
00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:38,190
(SOFTLY):{\c} Mm, thank you.
112
00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:42,930
Teas on the left, gentlemen,
113
00:06:42,930 --> 00:06:45,090
and coffees on the right.
114
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,800
- AGENT 7: Excellent.
- AGENT 5: Oh, damn it.
115
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,760
I forgot my pills.
116
00:06:49,770 --> 00:06:52,130
- (GRUNTING)
- AGENT 7: Here, have some of mine.
117
00:06:52,140 --> 00:06:54,870
AGENT 7: Scotch whiskey single malt?
118
00:06:54,870 --> 00:06:56,740
AGENT 5: Thank you very much.
119
00:06:56,740 --> 00:06:58,170
AGENT 7: Coffee.
120
00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:01,710
Ooh. Here,
let me help you with that.
121
00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:07,780
ENGLISH: Tea?
122
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,890
- (SOFT BEEPING)
- Ooh, this one just needs
123
00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:16,890
a little top-up of hot water.
124
00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:18,090
I'll be right back.
125
00:07:18,090 --> 00:07:19,960
(DOOR OPENS)
126
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,260
AGENT 7: Man's a divot
of the first order.
127
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:24,460
- Someone should put him out of his misery.
- Oh. Oh. Ah.
128
00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:26,300
AGENT 5: Along with whoever furnished
129
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,540
- this room. - Ooh. (GASPS)
- (CAP CLATTERING)
130
00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:31,370
- (AGENTS LAUGHING)
- (GASPS)
131
00:07:31,370 --> 00:07:33,210
(MUFFLED EXPLOSION)
132
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,440
(STAMMERING)
133
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,980
PEGASUS: Ah, good morning.
134
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:41,850
Sorry to keep you.
(CLEARS THROAT)
135
00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:43,220
Are the others here?
136
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:44,790
Um...
137
00:07:46,490 --> 00:07:48,920
PEGASUS: Oh.
138
00:07:51,190 --> 00:07:53,330
Mm, they, um...
139
00:07:53,330 --> 00:07:55,390
they nodded off.
140
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,230
Right.
141
00:07:57,230 --> 00:07:59,260
And who are you, exactly?
142
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,300
English.
143
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,370
- Johnny English.
- Well.
144
00:08:04,870 --> 00:08:07,910
- English.
- (WRY CHUCKLE)
145
00:08:07,910 --> 00:08:09,370
You'll leave immediately.
146
00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:11,410
My people will give you
the full briefing en route.
147
00:08:11,410 --> 00:08:13,040
Oh, is there anything you need?
148
00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:14,980
Yes. Nerve gas nasal spray,
149
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:18,180
a type four exoskeleton... you
should probably start a list...
150
00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:20,050
and a garroting watch,
151
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:22,290
with a rubber strap,
not the steel bracelet,
152
00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:25,490
'cause the links get caught in
the little hairs on my wrist.
153
00:08:25,490 --> 00:08:28,290
Oh, and I'll also need a Bough.
154
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,290
What's a Bough?
155
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:32,560
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Sir!
156
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,230
(CHUCKLES)
157
00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:36,570
Wonderful to see you!
158
00:08:36,570 --> 00:08:38,330
Yes, all right, Bough.
159
00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:40,400
We're going on a mission,
not a honeymoon.
160
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,410
Yes, of course, sir.
161
00:08:42,410 --> 00:08:45,170
Ah. I think it's the pin of
your buckle, sir, it's caught
162
00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:47,240
- on my jumper.
- Yes, I can see what's wrong, Bough.
163
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,450
- BOUGH: Yeah.
- If you go to your left,
164
00:08:49,450 --> 00:08:51,450
and I'll go to my right...
165
00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:53,620
I'm sorry, no.
If you go to your right,
166
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,550
and I'll go to my left.
167
00:08:57,220 --> 00:08:59,090
No. If I go clockwise,
168
00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:00,960
and you go anticlockwise.
169
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,860
- Uh, no, I think that's making it worse, sir.
- Hmm.
170
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,960
I'm surprised that didn't work.
171
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,900
♪
172
00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:10,300
(BEEPING)
173
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,000
P: Good morning, sir.
174
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,200
I have your
Agent Activation pack here.
175
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,070
Department issue smartphone.
176
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:20,870
580-megapixel camera,
4.7-inch retina HD display.
177
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,880
(CHUCKLES)
Ingenious.
178
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,340
And what does it shoot?
179
00:09:24,350 --> 00:09:25,910
Poison darts?
180
00:09:25,910 --> 00:09:28,480
It... doesn't shoot anything.
181
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,180
It's a phone.
182
00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:32,090
There's a Twitter handle,
Instagram feed,
183
00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:34,090
and secure login for
the department Uber account.
184
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:35,520
What's he on about, Bough?
185
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,160
I need a weapon,
not a box of gobbledygook.
186
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,430
I think, uh, wh-what Agent
English is getting at, sir,
187
00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:43,130
is all this is
highly trackable.
188
00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:45,300
But since we're dealing
with a very sophisticated
189
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,630
digital target,
we might be less visible
190
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:51,110
if we took a more analog,
low-tech approach.
191
00:09:52,470 --> 00:09:54,640
Exactly.
192
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,180
- I see.
- P: Ah.
193
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,180
Is there anything else
I can get you?
194
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,610
A gun?
195
00:10:01,610 --> 00:10:03,680
We...
196
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:06,350
don't really do guns anymore.
197
00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:07,520
PEGASUS: Just...
198
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,520
get him a gun.
199
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,220
- Mm-hmm.
- P: Right, a gun.
200
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,490
(BEEPING, MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
201
00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:15,130
(SIGHS)
202
00:10:16,530 --> 00:10:18,360
P: Right. Haven't actually...
203
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,130
done one of these before.
204
00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:23,330
It is my obligation
under section 14
205
00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:25,270
of the Health and Safety
Directive to inform you
206
00:10:25,270 --> 00:10:27,940
that the equipment with which
you are about to be issued
207
00:10:27,940 --> 00:10:30,440
can cause injury
and bodily harm.
208
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,480
Furthermore,
any agents with nut allergies
209
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,250
- should be aware that traces of cashew oil...
- Thank you.
210
00:10:41,150 --> 00:10:42,990
Right, transport.
211
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:49,130
So, take any hybrid you want.
212
00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:50,930
(EXHALES)
213
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,410
♪
214
00:11:04,010 --> 00:11:07,340
- I'll take this one.
- Oh, don't be ridiculous, English.
215
00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:09,210
This car's a relic.
216
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:12,380
Drinks petrol, leaks oil, has
no passive, let alone active,
217
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:15,650
- safety features.
- Do you know what else it doesn't have, sir?
218
00:11:15,650 --> 00:11:18,490
Satellite navigation
or a single computer chip.
219
00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:21,320
Making it completely invisible
to a digital enemy.
220
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,760
(STARTS ENGINE)
221
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,090
The equipment
Agent English requested, sir.
222
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,000
Thank you.
223
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,130
- Phone, Bough?
- Yeah.
224
00:11:33,070 --> 00:11:36,570
That high-tech villain of yours
will never see us coming.
225
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,200
(TIRES SQUEALING)
226
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:41,340
♪
227
00:11:53,150 --> 00:11:56,020
BOUGH: Let's see
what they've given us. (SIGHS)
228
00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:57,690
Exoskeleton.
229
00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:59,390
Exploding cotton buds.
230
00:11:59,390 --> 00:12:01,390
The old shoebox inflatable.
231
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,590
Hmm.
232
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,800
Ooh. What are these?
233
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,570
Instant Release
Super High Energy Pills.
234
00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:10,470
Like sticking your fingers
in an electric socket.
235
00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:13,240
- Highly recommended.
- Right.
236
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,740
So the red ones must be the
Total Knockout Sleeping Pills.
237
00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:17,440
- Correct.
- Oh.
238
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,540
Probably worth
labeling these. Um...
239
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:20,740
Ooh.
(CHUCKLES)
240
00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:22,110
Look, sir.
241
00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:23,420
Sweeties.
242
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,650
Ooh.
243
00:12:25,650 --> 00:12:28,080
Hang on a minute.
244
00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:30,050
I always did love a Jelly Baby.
245
00:12:30,060 --> 00:12:31,620
I wouldn't if I was you, Bough.
246
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:34,220
"Jelly" is short for gelignite.
One bite, and it'll take
247
00:12:34,230 --> 00:12:37,060
the top of your head off
along with the roof of the car.
248
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,230
What does this do?
249
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:43,300
It's a mixtape, Bough.
250
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:46,300
("I'M YOUR MAN" BY WHAM!
PLAYING)
251
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:48,140
ENGLISH: So, destination?
252
00:12:48,140 --> 00:12:50,310
BOUGH: South of France, sir.
That cyberattack seems
253
00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:52,370
to have been launched
from the Wi-Fi signal
254
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:53,810
of a hotel in Antibes.
255
00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:55,610
♪ Call me good
256
00:12:55,610 --> 00:12:57,380
♪ Call me bad
257
00:12:57,380 --> 00:13:01,080
♪ Call me anything
you want to, baby ♪
258
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,090
♪ But I know, uh-huh
259
00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:04,690
♪ That you're sad
260
00:13:04,690 --> 00:13:07,190
♪ And I know
I'll make you happy ♪
261
00:13:07,190 --> 00:13:09,290
♪ With the one thing
that you never had ♪
262
00:13:09,290 --> 00:13:11,190
♪ Baby
263
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:14,260
♪ I'm your man
264
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:16,430
♪ Don't you know that?
265
00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:18,160
♪ Baby
266
00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:20,770
♪ I'm your man
267
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,800
♪ You bet!
268
00:13:23,810 --> 00:13:25,670
♪ If you're gonna do it,
do it right ♪
269
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:27,210
♪ Do it with me
270
00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:29,110
♪ If you're gonna do it,
do it right ♪
271
00:13:29,110 --> 00:13:30,680
♪ Do it with me
272
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,610
♪ If you're gonna do it,
do it right. ♪
273
00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:35,780
(PEOPLE COUGHING)
274
00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:41,420
Sir? Sir, I've just had
a fax through from HQ.
275
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:43,420
Background checks
on all the guests
276
00:13:43,420 --> 00:13:45,320
that accessed
the Wi-Fi network.
277
00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:47,330
You see? Who needs e-mail?
278
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:48,830
Un peu de champagne,
monsieurs?
279
00:13:48,830 --> 00:13:49,830
Oh.
280
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:53,330
Danke schön.
281
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:57,140
Um... one name has raised
a red flag, sir.
282
00:13:57,140 --> 00:14:00,440
Sebastian Lynch, ex-Army
and Military Intelligence.
283
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,810
Now selling his services
to the highest bidder.
284
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,510
Where do we find him?
285
00:14:05,510 --> 00:14:06,840
Directly ahead, sir.
286
00:14:06,850 --> 00:14:09,550
He's got an 8:{\c}00 reservation
287
00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:12,420
at the Côte de Roc restaurant.
288
00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:14,520
- ♪
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
289
00:14:19,630 --> 00:14:21,630
- WAITER: Your usual, Monsieur Lynch?
- Champagne is great.
290
00:14:21,630 --> 00:14:23,660
BOUGH: The problem is
gonna be getting close enough
291
00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:25,490
for a full surveillance, sir.
292
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,500
Not necessarily.
293
00:14:29,230 --> 00:14:31,840
(LIVELY FRENCH CHATTER
IN KITCHEN)
294
00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:44,250
(PHONE CHIMES)
295
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:45,850
LYNCH: Viola, darling,
I've just got to get this.
296
00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:47,550
Two seconds.
297
00:14:47,550 --> 00:14:49,820
Simple plan, two parts.
298
00:14:49,820 --> 00:14:52,450
You provide the distraction,
I'll get the phone.
299
00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:54,860
- Yes, sir.
- And from now on...
300
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:57,190
(FRENCH ACCENT):{\c} perhaps we should zound
301
00:14:57,190 --> 00:15:00,200
like French waiters.
302
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,730
(FRENCH ACCENT):{\c} French waiters?
303
00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:05,870
Yees.
304
00:15:06,970 --> 00:15:08,700
(WHISPERS):{\c} Go on.
305
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,470
And... done.
306
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,280
Are you finished now?
307
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,680
(FRENCH ACCENT):{\c} Bread roll?
308
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,550
Yes, thank you.
309
00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:23,480
BOUGH: Excellent choice, madame.
310
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:27,420
(FRENCH ACCENT):{\c} Good evening. How are you?
311
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,990
- Bread roll, sir?
- LYNCH: Yes. Thank you.
312
00:15:31,990 --> 00:15:34,360
(HUMMING TUNE)
313
00:15:35,530 --> 00:15:36,830
(SCOFFS)
314
00:15:36,830 --> 00:15:39,360
(WHISPERS):{\c} One second.
315
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:41,400
Excuse me. Uh, would you mind?
316
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,800
Oh. Yees.
317
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:43,840
Evening.
318
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,440
Evening.
319
00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:49,780
Yees.
320
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:53,310
(GASPS SOFTLY)
321
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,920
Zank you.
322
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,560
Mm.
323
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,930
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
324
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:16,370
- (RINGTONE PLAYING)
- LYNCH: Where's my phone?
325
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,040
VIOLA: That is your phone.
326
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,970
(GRUNTING)
327
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:24,370
- Whew. Whew.
- (RINGTONE CONTINUES PLAYING)
328
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:25,780
(EXHALES)
329
00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:27,480
(MUFFLED RINGTONE)
330
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,450
Thank you.
331
00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:31,020
(TURNS OFF RINGTONE)
332
00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:33,280
Monsieur.
Uh, the, uh,
333
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:37,350
the shell on my wife's lobster,
could you remove it, please?
334
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,520
Mm, yees.
335
00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:42,560
Uh, um...
336
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:43,990
Hmm.
337
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,700
Uh...
338
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:50,370
Let me crack it for you.
339
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:52,900
(LOW GRUNTING)
340
00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:55,570
(RATTLING)
341
00:17:00,740 --> 00:17:03,710
(GRUNTING, RATTLING)
342
00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:05,880
- (SNAP) - Oh!
- Ooh!
343
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,020
Ow.
344
00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:08,820
- Oh.
- Qu'est-ce que tu fais?
345
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,020
Qu'est-ce que tu fais?
Les crevettes...
346
00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:14,290
Flambez. Flambez les crevettes.
347
00:17:26,570 --> 00:17:28,500
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
348
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:32,470
(CHUCKLING, HUMMING)
349
00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:36,580
- (RINGTONE PLAYING)
- Oh, not again.
350
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:37,710
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
351
00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:39,510
Give me two seconds. Hello?
352
00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:42,550
(GASPING, SCREAMING)
353
00:17:42,550 --> 00:17:44,480
- WOMAN: Oh, God!
- LYNCH: Steve, I'll have to call you back.
354
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,480
I'll call you back.
355
00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:48,560
Give me a sec.
356
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,730
Sebastian, don't get involved.
357
00:17:56,730 --> 00:17:59,360
(ENGLISH MUMBLES
WITH FRENCH ACCENT)
358
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,700
(CHUCKLING QUIETLY)
359
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,430
Mm, mm.
360
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,410
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
361
00:18:06,970 --> 00:18:09,010
- WOMAN: What is he doing?
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
362
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:10,710
There we are.
363
00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:15,310
Voilà.
364
00:18:22,390 --> 00:18:23,990
Mm. Bon appétit.
365
00:18:23,990 --> 00:18:25,390
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
366
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:29,090
I will talk to the manager.
367
00:18:32,530 --> 00:18:33,930
(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
368
00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:42,040
ENGLISH: Textbook, Bough.
369
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,080
BOUGH: Just holiday snaps, sir.
370
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,110
Wait a minute. This photo.
371
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,980
It was taken the same day
our villain accessed the Wi-Fi.
372
00:18:53,990 --> 00:18:55,750
And look.
373
00:18:55,750 --> 00:18:58,950
Scarcely 50 feet from shore.
374
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,420
Whoever was on that yacht
375
00:19:01,430 --> 00:19:03,990
could easily have used
the hotel's Wi-Fi,
376
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,600
sent that signal,
and then just sailed away.
377
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,000
ENGLISH: I think it's time
378
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,670
we paid the Dot Calm a visit.
379
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:16,440
(PANICKED SHOUTS, YELLING)
380
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,840
(GLASS SHATTERING,
FLAMES WHOOSHING)
381
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,110
(SHOUTING, SCREAMING)
382
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,080
VOLTA: Algorithms.
383
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,650
We are surrounded by them.
384
00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:30,990
Algorithms run our lives,
385
00:19:30,990 --> 00:19:33,620
choose our TV shows,
stream our music,
386
00:19:33,620 --> 00:19:35,490
even find us a date.
387
00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:37,090
- (LAUGHTER)
- MAN: Yeah, man!
388
00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:38,890
I know this chap, don't I?
389
00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:40,960
Yes, he's that
Silicon Valley billionaire
390
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,690
who dated a Kardashian.
391
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:43,960
Two Kardashians.
392
00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:45,760
And a Black Eyed Pea.
Keep watching.
393
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,770
VOLTA: But supposing
there was an algorithm
394
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,100
for an entire country.
395
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,840
A single algorithm
that could be applied
396
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,670
to every one of its problems.
397
00:19:52,670 --> 00:19:55,070
A single algorithm that
could take a second-rate nation
398
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,980
and make it...
399
00:19:56,980 --> 00:20:00,550
- world-class.
- (APPLAUSE, WHOOPING)
400
00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:03,180
VOLTA: Every nation
is awash with data,
401
00:20:03,180 --> 00:20:04,680
so now, more than ever,
402
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,820
we need to put
that data to work
403
00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:08,620
for the people.
404
00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:11,760
These few lines of code
will deliver the kind of change
405
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,590
they have been dreaming of
their entire lives.
406
00:20:14,590 --> 00:20:17,900
(OVER PHONE):{\c} I am Xander. I love data.
407
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:20,100
(WHOOPING)
408
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:22,630
He's so clever.
409
00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:25,670
He's young, he's sexy,
he's insanely successful.
410
00:20:25,670 --> 00:20:28,610
Just the qualities we need
people to associate with me.
411
00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:32,110
- Yes, Prime Minister.
- And they will do
412
00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:33,980
when he starts working with us.
413
00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:36,750
But why would a Silicon Valley
billionaire work with us?
414
00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:39,180
Just... get him into Number 10
and let me work on him.
415
00:20:39,180 --> 00:20:40,920
- Yes, ma'am.
- Go on.
416
00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:43,750
(CLEARS THROAT)
417
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:45,150
Oh, God, now what?
418
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,860
There's been another attack,
Prime Minister.
419
00:20:46,860 --> 00:20:48,760
- Oh...
- Air Traffic Control.
420
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,160
Someone's rerouted every flight
in Europe to Luton.
421
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,660
For God's sake, tell me the
agent you've got in the field
422
00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:56,230
is making some progress.
423
00:20:56,230 --> 00:20:58,970
- (PANICKED SHOUTING)
- (SIREN BLARING)
424
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,740
♪
425
00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:06,740
BOUGH: So, how are we gonna find
426
00:21:06,740 --> 00:21:08,780
the location
of that yacht, sir?
427
00:21:08,780 --> 00:21:10,780
ENGLISH: Very easily, Bough.
428
00:21:10,780 --> 00:21:12,820
We ring MI7.
429
00:21:15,820 --> 00:21:18,620
Hello? Hello?
Uh, yes, I need the location
430
00:21:18,620 --> 00:21:20,820
- of a boat called...
- (RAPID BEEPING)
431
00:21:22,830 --> 00:21:24,560
- (BEEPING STOPS)
- Hello?
432
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,830
Hello. Yes.
Uh, a boat called the Dot Calm.
433
00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:29,230
Yes, it's a play on words.
434
00:21:29,230 --> 00:21:30,600
Yeah. Where?
435
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,200
- (RAPID BEEPING)
- (COINS CLACKING)
436
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,500
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
437
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,910
BOUGH: Looks about
half a mile out, sir.
438
00:21:39,910 --> 00:21:43,080
Do we want to try
and swim it, or...?
439
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:44,680
No, Bough.
440
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,780
This is a job
for the shoebox inflatable.
441
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,720
No! Don't open it
in the car, sir!
442
00:21:51,620 --> 00:21:54,290
(AIRBAGS SQUEAKING
AGAINST WINDOWS)
443
00:21:54,290 --> 00:21:58,620
Can you reach your door handle?
444
00:21:58,630 --> 00:22:00,660
(SQUEAKING)
445
00:22:00,660 --> 00:22:02,360
Uh, no, sir.
446
00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:05,230
I'll try my side.
447
00:22:05,230 --> 00:22:08,070
(SQUEAKING)
448
00:22:08,070 --> 00:22:10,000
♪
449
00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:24,820
Right, Bough,
our aim is to get on board
450
00:22:24,820 --> 00:22:26,720
without anyone noticing.
451
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,050
And how we're gonna do it:{\c}
452
00:22:29,060 --> 00:22:31,320
- magnetic boots.
- Brilliant, sir.
453
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,660
Simple mechanism.
454
00:22:33,660 --> 00:22:35,260
Left switch activates
left boot.
455
00:22:35,260 --> 00:22:36,930
Right switch activates right.
456
00:22:36,930 --> 00:22:38,330
Okay.
457
00:22:38,330 --> 00:22:40,330
Let's go.
458
00:22:53,950 --> 00:22:57,810
Remember, the absolutely
vital element of this mission
459
00:22:57,820 --> 00:22:59,880
is surprise.
460
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,300
(BOTH GRUNTING)
461
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,240
Now, you have to get up
pretty early in the morning
462
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,710
to outwit British Intelligence.
463
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,310
(GRUNTING)
464
00:23:29,310 --> 00:23:31,710
(BOTH SIGH)
465
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:32,980
Quick.
466
00:23:35,820 --> 00:23:37,950
(ALARM BLARING)
467
00:23:39,350 --> 00:23:41,860
- (ALARM STOPS)
- OPHELIA: Good evening, gentlemen.
468
00:23:41,860 --> 00:23:45,060
Shall we start with your names?
469
00:23:45,060 --> 00:23:49,260
Clearly you have no idea
who you're dealing with.
470
00:23:49,260 --> 00:23:52,730
That's why I'm starting
with your names.
471
00:23:52,730 --> 00:23:54,930
Actually, would you mind
coming down here?
472
00:23:54,940 --> 00:23:57,900
It's really hard to have
a conversation like this.
473
00:23:57,910 --> 00:24:00,810
I have a better idea.
474
00:24:00,810 --> 00:24:02,780
(GRUNTING)
475
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:09,950
It's no good.
It won't move, sir.
476
00:24:09,950 --> 00:24:12,480
(SCOFFS)
We'll see about that.
477
00:24:12,490 --> 00:24:15,190
Low-intensity
exploding cotton bud.
478
00:24:17,390 --> 00:24:19,020
(BEEP)
479
00:24:19,030 --> 00:24:20,190
That's quite a powerful charge
480
00:24:20,190 --> 00:24:21,760
for such a small space, sir.
481
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,190
Oh, nonsense.
482
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,960
(LOW WHIRRING)
483
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,800
There'll just be a slight pop.
484
00:24:28,930 --> 00:24:31,040
(BOOMING EXPLOSION)
485
00:24:32,110 --> 00:24:34,440
(BOTH COUGHING)
486
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,370
(QUIETLY):{\c} Shall we locate the hold
487
00:24:36,380 --> 00:24:38,310
and look for the source
of that signal?
488
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:40,280
(LOUDLY):{\c} I think
we should locate the hold
489
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,210
and look for the source
of that signal!
490
00:24:42,210 --> 00:24:43,710
- Shh, shh, shh.
- (MEN SHOUTING)
491
00:24:44,980 --> 00:24:47,190
- Come on!
- Shh, shh, shh, shh.
492
00:24:51,060 --> 00:24:52,990
♪
493
00:24:58,500 --> 00:25:00,760
I'd say we have
our villain, Bough!
494
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,300
Shh, shh, shh. You need
to keep your voice down, sir.
495
00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:06,770
(WHISPERS):{\c} Ah. And
we're not going to lose him.
496
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:21,850
Hand me the sherbet fountain.
497
00:25:24,850 --> 00:25:27,960
Three sucks, and the location
transmitter is activated.
498
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:31,890
This gin palace'll show up
as a hostile from 30,000 feet.
499
00:25:31,890 --> 00:25:33,890
Hmm.
500
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:37,500
(QUIET BEEPING)
501
00:25:40,100 --> 00:25:44,000
This is now an enemy target.
502
00:25:44,010 --> 00:25:45,870
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- (INDISTINCT VOICES)
503
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,180
Aniseed balls.
504
00:25:51,180 --> 00:25:53,110
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
505
00:25:53,110 --> 00:25:55,950
(GROANING)
506
00:25:55,950 --> 00:25:58,020
♪
507
00:25:59,590 --> 00:26:01,120
(GRUNTS)
508
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,060
- (GUN COCKS)
- (SPLASH)
509
00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:08,530
If you'd wanted to kill me,
you would have already done so.
510
00:26:11,300 --> 00:26:13,830
Till we meet again.
511
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,170
- (BODY THUMPS)
- (GROANING)
512
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,610
Ow...
513
00:26:23,610 --> 00:26:25,110
Ooh...
514
00:26:25,110 --> 00:26:27,510
- (JOINTS CRACKING)
- Ooh. Ooh.
515
00:26:27,510 --> 00:26:30,180
Well, that was sooner
than I expected.
516
00:26:30,180 --> 00:26:32,020
(GROANS SOFTLY)
517
00:26:32,020 --> 00:26:33,520
Ooh.
518
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,320
Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
519
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:37,420
Oh...
520
00:26:37,420 --> 00:26:39,260
(SPLASH)
521
00:26:39,260 --> 00:26:42,330
BOUGH: Who do you think she is, sir?
522
00:26:42,330 --> 00:26:44,930
Well, if she's not
the owner of that yacht,
523
00:26:44,930 --> 00:26:46,600
then she knows who is.
524
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:51,300
Either way,
she's the key to this case.
525
00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:53,970
Is it true
you were teaching, sir?
526
00:26:53,970 --> 00:26:55,640
Before all this blew up?
527
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,940
If by "teaching,"
you mean scouting
528
00:26:59,940 --> 00:27:03,080
for potential intelligence
operatives, then...
529
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,450
- yes, I was.
- Hmm.
530
00:27:05,450 --> 00:27:07,450
I actually got married, sir.
531
00:27:07,450 --> 00:27:10,250
I... well,
I don't know if you heard.
532
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,320
No.
533
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:14,490
Hmm.
534
00:27:14,490 --> 00:27:16,220
Yeah, Lydia.
535
00:27:16,230 --> 00:27:17,590
Lovely girl.
536
00:27:20,660 --> 00:27:23,330
You never think about
getting hitched yourself, sir?
537
00:27:23,330 --> 00:27:25,600
(CHUCKLES)
This is no life
538
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,600
for a married man, Bough.
The danger,
539
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,000
- the constant travel...
- Here you go, sir.
540
00:27:30,010 --> 00:27:31,170
- Oh.
- Thank you.
541
00:27:31,170 --> 00:27:33,080
More Lydia's life
than mine, sir.
542
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,010
She's in the Navy, you see.
543
00:27:37,010 --> 00:27:40,050
What, as a cook?
Or some kind of...
544
00:27:40,050 --> 00:27:42,580
- seagoing secretary or...?
- Oh, no, sir.
545
00:27:42,580 --> 00:27:45,050
She's the captain
of a nuclear submarine.
546
00:27:46,150 --> 00:27:48,090
- Oh, right.
- Mm.
547
00:27:50,030 --> 00:27:54,290
D-Do you think we should get
some petrol for the Aston, sir?
548
00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:58,530
Nah. An Aston Martin is
surprisingly economical, Bough.
549
00:28:00,230 --> 00:28:03,870
Besides, it looks
like we're in business.
550
00:28:06,710 --> 00:28:10,040
♪
551
00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:18,620
Come on.
552
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,550
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
553
00:28:26,030 --> 00:28:28,690
- BOUGH: Looks like an electric car, sir.
- Yes,
554
00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:30,560
and sounds like
a nose hair trimmer.
555
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,130
(REVS ENGINE)
556
00:28:32,130 --> 00:28:34,200
ENGLISH: A bunch of triple-A batteries
557
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,170
is no match for old-fashioned
British horsepower.
558
00:28:37,170 --> 00:28:40,170
(ENGINE ROARING)
559
00:28:51,580 --> 00:28:53,150
(ENGINE ROARING)
560
00:28:53,150 --> 00:28:55,590
♪
561
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,720
BOUGH: Look at her cornering.
562
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:01,990
Seems so effortless,
doesn't it, sir?
563
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:16,640
(BEEPING)
564
00:29:22,180 --> 00:29:24,380
(TIRES SCREECH)
565
00:29:24,380 --> 00:29:25,580
(BOUGH GROANS)
566
00:29:30,620 --> 00:29:31,620
(SIGHS)
567
00:29:37,660 --> 00:29:40,530
(HONKING HORN)
568
00:29:40,530 --> 00:29:42,400
Arm the missile.
569
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,160
The wh-what?
570
00:29:44,170 --> 00:29:46,400
The missile, Bough, the one
with the tear gas warhead.
571
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:47,500
But they're just cyclists, sir.
572
00:29:47,500 --> 00:29:49,170
I mean, w-we'll get past
in a minute.
573
00:29:49,170 --> 00:29:51,200
They're French cyclists, Bough,
and they're obstructing
574
00:29:51,210 --> 00:29:52,440
Her Majesty's Secret Service.
575
00:30:00,450 --> 00:30:02,350
BOUGH: Wiper stalk is armed, sir.
576
00:30:02,350 --> 00:30:03,420
(BEEP)
577
00:30:09,190 --> 00:30:11,660
(COUGHING,
CHATTERING IN FRENCH)
578
00:30:11,660 --> 00:30:13,830
BOUGH: Sorry. Terribly sorry.
579
00:30:13,830 --> 00:30:15,830
- We do apologize.
- Stop it, Bough.
580
00:30:15,830 --> 00:30:17,660
You'll only encourage them.
581
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,130
(CHUCKLES)
582
00:30:21,130 --> 00:30:23,100
(TIRES SQUEAL)
583
00:30:23,100 --> 00:30:25,510
♪
584
00:30:33,180 --> 00:30:35,780
- What are we gonna do now, sir?
- Patience, Bough.
585
00:30:35,780 --> 00:30:39,350
Driving like that, her battery
will be dead any moment,
586
00:30:39,350 --> 00:30:42,750
and she'll roll
to a humiliating stop.
587
00:30:42,750 --> 00:30:45,690
(ENGINE CHUGGING, CLICKING)
588
00:30:47,330 --> 00:30:49,260
(CHUGGING CONTINUES)
589
00:30:54,430 --> 00:30:56,700
(RAPID CHUGGING)
590
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,300
(ENGINE STOPS)
591
00:31:01,310 --> 00:31:05,110
Bough, it is your job to keep
an eye on the fuel gauge.
592
00:31:13,220 --> 00:31:15,490
Very impressive driving,
Mr....?
593
00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:18,720
Golightly.
594
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,520
Basil Golightly.
595
00:31:22,530 --> 00:31:26,590
And you're rather useful
yourself, Miss...?
596
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,190
Bhuletova.
597
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,200
Ophelia Bhuletova.
598
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:31,360
Hmm.
599
00:31:31,370 --> 00:31:33,300
And this is...?
600
00:31:33,300 --> 00:31:35,240
Colin.
601
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,470
I thought we were using
fake names.
602
00:31:38,470 --> 00:31:41,310
(WHISPERS):{\c} That is a fake name.
603
00:31:44,150 --> 00:31:46,380
Oh, right.
604
00:31:46,380 --> 00:31:49,150
Yes, this is Colin.
605
00:31:50,420 --> 00:31:52,220
And I'm...
606
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,220
(QUIETLY):{\c} Dasil.
607
00:31:57,220 --> 00:31:58,490
Dasil.
608
00:31:58,490 --> 00:31:59,930
Mm, Basil.
609
00:31:59,930 --> 00:32:01,830
Well...
610
00:32:01,830 --> 00:32:03,530
Basil...
611
00:32:03,530 --> 00:32:05,700
maybe there's
a simpler way of doing this.
612
00:32:05,700 --> 00:32:07,630
Over a drink perhaps?
613
00:32:07,630 --> 00:32:09,470
Well, that'd be lovely.
614
00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:11,170
Shall we say...
615
00:32:11,170 --> 00:32:14,770
the bar at the Hotel de Paris
in Cagnes-sur-Mer? 8:{\c}00?
616
00:32:14,770 --> 00:32:16,880
Hmm. It's a date.
617
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,740
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
618
00:32:18,750 --> 00:32:22,550
(ENGLISH CHUCKLES)
619
00:32:22,550 --> 00:32:26,280
Well... I think
my "running out of fuel" ruse
620
00:32:26,290 --> 00:32:28,350
worked pretty well.
621
00:32:28,350 --> 00:32:29,790
Mm.
622
00:32:32,630 --> 00:32:34,630
PRIME MINISTER: What?
623
00:32:34,630 --> 00:32:35,630
(STAMMERS) Junior doctors...
they've confirmed
624
00:32:35,630 --> 00:32:37,260
they are going on strike,
625
00:32:37,260 --> 00:32:38,500
and the tube drivers
are coming out in support.
626
00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:39,800
Oh, God.
Leader of the Opposition,
627
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,760
has he come round
from his heart surgery?
628
00:32:41,770 --> 00:32:43,530
- Yes, Prime Minister.
- Oh, Jesus Christ,
629
00:32:43,530 --> 00:32:46,370
when will something go right
for me? What do you want?
630
00:32:46,370 --> 00:32:49,310
They've, uh, hit us again,
Prime Minister.
631
00:32:49,310 --> 00:32:51,640
- Huh?
- Hacked into the Central Traffic Control System.
632
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:55,880
Yes, they've turned every
traffic light in London to red.
633
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:57,710
- (HORNS HONKING IN DISTANCE)
- (GROANS)
634
00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,520
Where's my bloody drink?
635
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:03,350
You've got to be joking.
Vodka tonic, no ice, no tonic.
636
00:33:03,350 --> 00:33:05,350
- Yes, ma'am.
- Oh, and Mr. Volta's arrived, ma'am.
637
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,290
(CLEARS THROAT)
638
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,460
Mr. Volta.
639
00:33:11,460 --> 00:33:12,960
Welcome to Downing Street.
640
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,760
I have read so much
about this wonderful building.
641
00:33:15,770 --> 00:33:17,770
Is this the stone
triple staircase
642
00:33:17,770 --> 00:33:19,630
- designed by William Kent?
- Um...
643
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,570
yes, it probably... is.
I can't swear to it.
644
00:33:21,570 --> 00:33:23,870
- I mean, I'm not very good...
- Can we do a quick...?
645
00:33:23,870 --> 00:33:25,410
XANDER: Needs Photoshop.
646
00:33:25,410 --> 00:33:26,770
(CHUCKLES):{\c} Oh, that's very...
647
00:33:26,780 --> 00:33:29,440
- Uh, th-this way.
- I am horribly late.
648
00:33:29,450 --> 00:33:31,250
I do apologize.
It's the traffic.
649
00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:32,980
It's the one thing
I don't love about London.
650
00:33:32,980 --> 00:33:35,580
Yes, um, well, I must admit
we are having a slight problem
651
00:33:35,580 --> 00:33:36,880
with the lights at the moment,
652
00:33:36,890 --> 00:33:38,480
- but nothing major.
- If you wanted,
653
00:33:38,490 --> 00:33:40,590
I could take a look;
it is kind of what I do.
654
00:33:40,590 --> 00:33:42,960
I think it, well, it's actually
a little bit more complex
655
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,030
- than...
- Xander, get a Web address
656
00:33:45,030 --> 00:33:47,030
for London's
traffic control center.
657
00:33:47,030 --> 00:33:49,830
- (ELECTRONIC CHIME)
- XANDER: Here's the login page, Jason.
658
00:33:49,830 --> 00:33:51,430
Do you have a password?
659
00:33:53,870 --> 00:33:55,570
W... Um...
660
00:33:55,570 --> 00:33:58,040
Uh, I-I...
661
00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,510
I won't tell if you won't.
662
00:33:59,510 --> 00:34:01,010
Right you are.
663
00:34:01,010 --> 00:34:02,340
(ELECTRONIC CHIME)
664
00:34:02,340 --> 00:34:03,740
XANDER: Bypassing security.
665
00:34:03,740 --> 00:34:05,480
Security bypassed.
666
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,050
Oh, that's terrific.
667
00:34:07,050 --> 00:34:09,750
Someone is hacking you.
668
00:34:09,750 --> 00:34:11,680
Oh, I don't think so, no.
669
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,790
Denied service attack. Yeah.
670
00:34:13,790 --> 00:34:16,290
Primitive but effective.
671
00:34:16,290 --> 00:34:18,460
You know what we could try?
672
00:34:18,460 --> 00:34:22,560
Rerouting all service requests
to our server farm in Nevada.
673
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:23,790
Um...
674
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,560
I...
675
00:34:25,570 --> 00:34:28,430
- (ELECTRONIC CHIME)
- XANDER: Rerouting, Jason.
676
00:34:28,430 --> 00:34:30,240
Rerouting complete.
677
00:34:31,500 --> 00:34:33,540
(HONKING STOPS,
TRAFFIC WHOOSHING)
678
00:34:33,540 --> 00:34:36,510
(CHUCKLES):{\c} Oh, crikey.
679
00:34:36,510 --> 00:34:40,310
So, what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
680
00:34:40,310 --> 00:34:42,810
You, Jason.
681
00:34:42,820 --> 00:34:45,010
(MOUTHS)
682
00:34:45,020 --> 00:34:46,820
I want to talk about you.
683
00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:57,360
(BOUGH GRUNTING)
684
00:35:00,730 --> 00:35:02,730
ENGLISH: Excellent, Bough.
685
00:35:02,730 --> 00:35:04,630
Nearly there.
686
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:06,630
- Nearly there.
- (CONTINUES GRUNTING)
687
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,870
This is actually
a really nice hotel, Bough.
688
00:35:09,870 --> 00:35:13,570
I'm turning to the right...
689
00:35:13,580 --> 00:35:16,510
(MELLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
690
00:35:24,990 --> 00:35:27,920
Should one of us
keep Miss Bhuletova busy
691
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,120
while the other one
searches her room, sir?
692
00:35:30,130 --> 00:35:32,130
Good idea, Bough.
693
00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:34,930
Alert me if you find anything.
694
00:35:36,530 --> 00:35:38,470
♪
695
00:35:46,540 --> 00:35:49,910
- (ENGLISH PLAYS SHORT MELODY)
- (PIANIST STOPS)
696
00:35:52,950 --> 00:35:54,720
(PIANIST RESUMES PLAYING)
697
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:57,890
Mr. Golightly.
698
00:36:00,690 --> 00:36:02,060
Oh.
699
00:36:02,060 --> 00:36:03,760
Indeed.
700
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,460
I thought perhaps
you weren't coming.
701
00:36:06,460 --> 00:36:07,830
On the contrary.
702
00:36:07,830 --> 00:36:10,630
Wild horses
couldn't keep me away.
703
00:36:10,630 --> 00:36:12,600
Madame? Monsieur?
704
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,870
Evening.
What would you like?
705
00:36:14,870 --> 00:36:17,670
I'm feeling
a little homesick tonight.
706
00:36:17,670 --> 00:36:19,040
I'll have a Moscow Mule.
707
00:36:22,540 --> 00:36:24,940
And I'll have a London...
708
00:36:24,950 --> 00:36:27,480
Lemming, please.
709
00:36:28,750 --> 00:36:31,080
I'm not sure. What...?
710
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:33,820
It's, uh, gin...
711
00:36:33,820 --> 00:36:36,920
(SIGHS):{\c} vodka...
712
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:38,660
Armagnac...
713
00:36:38,660 --> 00:36:40,460
sherry...
714
00:36:40,460 --> 00:36:45,000
with just a little bit
of Parmesan.
715
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,460
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
716
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,100
So...
717
00:36:50,100 --> 00:36:52,600
what brings you
to the South of France,
718
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,870
Miss Bhilli... Bholly...
719
00:36:54,870 --> 00:36:58,070
- Bhuletova.
- Bhuletova.
720
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,770
I'm just visiting
a friend of mine.
721
00:36:59,780 --> 00:37:00,780
Mm.
722
00:37:02,110 --> 00:37:03,810
(OLIVE PLOPS TO GROUND)
723
00:37:03,820 --> 00:37:07,550
And would this friend be
the owner of the Dot Calm?
724
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,020
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Yes, he would.
725
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:13,860
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
726
00:37:13,860 --> 00:37:16,660
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
727
00:37:16,660 --> 00:37:18,830
And what about you...
728
00:37:18,830 --> 00:37:22,600
- Basil?
- Oh, I'm just here on business.
729
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,230
Although it's rapidly
turning into pleasure.
730
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:26,770
(CHUCKLES)
731
00:37:26,770 --> 00:37:27,840
Hmm.
732
00:37:29,700 --> 00:37:31,710
Ooh. I love these.
733
00:37:31,710 --> 00:37:32,910
Mmm.
734
00:37:36,710 --> 00:37:38,050
They're really hot.
735
00:37:38,050 --> 00:37:40,050
(CRUNCHING)
736
00:37:40,050 --> 00:37:42,150
Mmm. Ooh. Ooh.
737
00:37:42,150 --> 00:37:43,820
Oh. Oh.
738
00:37:43,820 --> 00:37:45,950
(WHEEZING):{\c} Oh... oh...
739
00:37:45,950 --> 00:37:48,620
- oh... oh...
- Are you all right?
740
00:37:48,620 --> 00:37:50,620
Yes, fine.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
741
00:37:50,630 --> 00:37:53,830
(BREATHILY):{\c} Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay,
742
00:37:53,830 --> 00:37:55,730
ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay...
743
00:37:55,730 --> 00:37:57,060
(PANTING)
744
00:37:57,070 --> 00:37:59,230
(LOW GRUNTING)
745
00:37:59,230 --> 00:38:00,230
(CHUCKLES)
746
00:38:01,940 --> 00:38:03,540
Merci.
747
00:38:03,540 --> 00:38:05,970
Merci beaucou-pah.
748
00:38:05,970 --> 00:38:07,570
Cheers.
749
00:38:07,570 --> 00:38:09,740
I'm not sure
I've ever met a man
750
00:38:09,740 --> 00:38:11,840
quite like you, Basil.
751
00:38:11,850 --> 00:38:15,110
Let me clear up
the uncertainty for you.
752
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,120
You haven't.
753
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,850
(SLURPING)
754
00:38:25,660 --> 00:38:26,790
(CLEARS THROAT)
755
00:38:28,230 --> 00:38:30,160
(CHUCKLES)
756
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,160
I'm sorry, Basil,
757
00:38:32,170 --> 00:38:34,200
I have to get up really early
758
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,140
- tomorrow morning.
- Oh, that's a shame.
759
00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:39,740
A demain, Basil.
760
00:38:47,110 --> 00:38:49,550
How did you get on, sir?
761
00:38:49,550 --> 00:38:52,750
Oh, gosh, what a wonderful
woman, Bough. Wonderful!
762
00:38:52,750 --> 00:38:55,950
- Right.
- Charming, intelligent,
763
00:38:55,950 --> 00:38:57,620
lovely sense of humor.
764
00:38:57,620 --> 00:38:59,120
And obviously
entirely innocent.
765
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,120
Although I broke into her room,
766
00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:02,690
and she does have
three passports, sir:{\c}
767
00:39:02,690 --> 00:39:04,030
Romanian, Bulgarian, Russian,
768
00:39:04,030 --> 00:39:05,760
different name in each.
769
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,260
So she's been married
to three different people.
770
00:39:08,270 --> 00:39:11,000
Not unusual
in this day and age, Bough.
771
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,730
Oh, and I also found
some garroting wire
772
00:39:12,740 --> 00:39:14,640
- and two boxes of ammunition.
- Well...
773
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:16,770
single woman traveling alone.
774
00:39:16,770 --> 00:39:19,110
You can't be too careful.
775
00:39:19,110 --> 00:39:21,010
You don't think...
776
00:39:21,010 --> 00:39:22,910
she might be a spy, sir?
777
00:39:22,910 --> 00:39:25,210
A spy?
(CHUCKLES)
778
00:39:25,220 --> 00:39:28,890
I think I know what
a spy looks like, Bough.
779
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,640
(GROANS SOFTLY)
780
00:39:58,010 --> 00:39:59,710
(EXHALES)
781
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:02,920
(SMACKS LIPS)
782
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,860
(MUMBLES)
783
00:40:16,860 --> 00:40:18,200
(SIGHS)
784
00:40:29,110 --> 00:40:30,210
Ah.
785
00:40:30,210 --> 00:40:31,280
Uh-huh.
786
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:32,910
Uh...
787
00:40:34,980 --> 00:40:36,220
Yeah.
788
00:40:38,950 --> 00:40:40,280
(BEEPS)
789
00:40:40,290 --> 00:40:41,790
(OPENS DOOR)
790
00:40:51,930 --> 00:40:53,870
♪
791
00:40:57,300 --> 00:40:58,940
(GRUNTS)
792
00:41:00,810 --> 00:41:03,070
- (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
793
00:41:23,690 --> 00:41:25,960
(DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES
IN DISTANCE)
794
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,730
(DANCE MUSIC DISTORTS, FADES)
795
00:41:36,340 --> 00:41:38,810
(DANCE MUSIC RESUMES)
796
00:41:54,090 --> 00:41:56,720
♪ If everything is changing
797
00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:58,830
♪ And I know, yeah
798
00:41:58,830 --> 00:42:01,030
♪ You gotta let go, oh-oh
799
00:42:01,030 --> 00:42:02,730
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh
800
00:42:02,730 --> 00:42:05,730
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh
801
00:42:05,730 --> 00:42:08,870
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh,
oh-oh, oh ♪
802
00:42:08,870 --> 00:42:10,000
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh
803
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:11,870
♪ Got to let go
804
00:42:11,870 --> 00:42:13,970
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh
805
00:42:13,970 --> 00:42:16,810
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh
806
00:42:16,810 --> 00:42:19,180
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh
807
00:42:19,180 --> 00:42:20,850
♪ Got to let go...
808
00:42:20,850 --> 00:42:22,310
(HUFFS)
809
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,850
♪ Wow! She's got it
810
00:42:26,950 --> 00:42:29,120
♪ Yeah, baby, she's got it
811
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:31,760
Oh!
812
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:33,290
♪ I'm your Venus
813
00:42:33,290 --> 00:42:34,990
♪ I'm your fire
814
00:42:34,990 --> 00:42:36,260
♪ At your desire
815
00:42:38,930 --> 00:42:41,130
- ♪ Well, I'm your Venus
- (OPHELIA GASPS)
816
00:42:41,130 --> 00:42:42,800
♪ I'm your fire
817
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:44,240
♪ At your desire
818
00:42:47,270 --> 00:42:49,010
(CHUCKLING)
819
00:42:49,010 --> 00:42:50,980
(LAUGHS)
820
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:55,450
Mmm... oh.
821
00:42:59,350 --> 00:43:00,790
Ah.
822
00:43:03,420 --> 00:43:05,390
(BOTH GRUNT)
823
00:43:05,390 --> 00:43:07,990
♪ She's got it
824
00:43:07,990 --> 00:43:09,960
♪ Yeah, baby, she's got it...
825
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,400
- (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- (WOMEN WHOOPING)
826
00:43:14,070 --> 00:43:17,000
(BIRD SQUAWKING IN DISTANCE)
827
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,870
("BUMP & GRIND"
BY VATO GONZALEZ PLAYING)
828
00:43:19,870 --> 00:43:20,970
♪ Drop
829
00:43:20,970 --> 00:43:22,400
♪ Yo, wha, bump and grind
830
00:43:22,410 --> 00:43:24,370
♪ This one girl
make you bump and grind ♪
831
00:43:24,370 --> 00:43:26,080
♪ Move to the left, girl,
move to the right... ♪
832
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:27,310
Sir?
833
00:43:27,310 --> 00:43:29,280
Sir!
834
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,380
I just got off the phone
to P in London.
835
00:43:31,380 --> 00:43:34,320
He's found out who the owner
of that yacht is. Jason Volta!
836
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,050
The world's most powerful
Internet billionaire, sir.
837
00:43:36,050 --> 00:43:37,450
And he's in London right now.
838
00:43:37,450 --> 00:43:39,050
The prime minister is
839
00:43:39,050 --> 00:43:41,090
personally negotiating
a trade deal with him.
840
00:43:42,190 --> 00:43:44,160
Well, what are we waiting for?
841
00:43:45,130 --> 00:43:46,490
♪ Ha!
842
00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:48,260
♪
843
00:43:48,260 --> 00:43:49,900
(ENGINE ROARING)
844
00:43:59,310 --> 00:44:01,370
(TIRES SQUEAL)
845
00:44:01,380 --> 00:44:03,040
♪ When two tribes go to war
846
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:06,050
♪ A point is all
that you can score ♪
847
00:44:06,050 --> 00:44:08,080
♪ Score no more,
score no more ♪
848
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:10,050
♪ When two tribes go to war
849
00:44:10,050 --> 00:44:12,220
MAN: Hey!
850
00:44:14,390 --> 00:44:18,290
D-D-Do you think we might
slow down a little, sir?
851
00:44:18,290 --> 00:44:20,160
What?!
852
00:44:21,430 --> 00:44:23,800
Never mind!
853
00:44:25,330 --> 00:44:29,100
♪ Yeah.
854
00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:31,270
NEWSWOMAN: With what appears
to be another cyberattack,
855
00:44:31,270 --> 00:44:33,300
pressure is mounting
on the prime minister.
856
00:44:33,310 --> 00:44:35,870
- Every train in England?
- Yes, sir. They're all trying
857
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,280
to terminate
at Bristol Temple Meads.
858
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,580
(SINGING LIVELY DANCE BEAT)
859
00:44:40,580 --> 00:44:42,310
Morning, sir.
860
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,050
You see this, English?
861
00:44:44,050 --> 00:44:45,320
- Yes.
- Right.
862
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:46,480
Please.
863
00:44:46,490 --> 00:44:49,120
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- Whew!
864
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:50,320
Tell me you've got something
865
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:52,090
I can take
to the prime minister.
866
00:44:52,090 --> 00:44:55,330
Would the name of the man
responsible do, sir?
867
00:44:55,330 --> 00:44:56,630
Excellent, English, yes.
868
00:44:56,630 --> 00:44:59,900
It's Jas...
869
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,970
(SNORING)
870
00:45:07,010 --> 00:45:09,200
(CONTINUES SNORING)
871
00:45:09,210 --> 00:45:11,040
Volta, sir.
872
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,080
- Uh, J-Jason Volta.
- What?!
873
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:16,680
You're accusing the PM's
knight in shining armor?
874
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:18,180
I'd need hard evidence.
875
00:45:18,180 --> 00:45:19,310
Plap.
876
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,980
Uh, blap, plap, plap.
877
00:45:21,990 --> 00:45:23,390
(MUTTERING)
878
00:45:23,390 --> 00:45:27,960
Which...
879
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,330
Is why Agent English
is proposing a penetration
880
00:45:30,330 --> 00:45:32,460
of Volta's country estate
in Surrey.
881
00:45:32,460 --> 00:45:35,030
(QUIETLY):{\c} Yes... yes...
882
00:45:35,030 --> 00:45:37,100
yes, yes...
883
00:45:37,100 --> 00:45:39,400
Well, do what you have
to do, English.
884
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:42,240
But for God's sake,
be discreet about it.
885
00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:43,370
Oh!
886
00:45:43,370 --> 00:45:45,210
Oh, good.
887
00:45:45,210 --> 00:45:47,140
Oh. Oof.
888
00:45:52,510 --> 00:45:54,950
Virtual reality?
889
00:45:54,950 --> 00:45:56,620
That's right, sir.
P's built a computer model
890
00:45:56,620 --> 00:45:58,390
of the inside
of Volta's mansion.
891
00:45:58,390 --> 00:46:01,050
When you put on this headset,
it will look and feel
892
00:46:01,060 --> 00:46:04,020
as if you are inside the house.
You'll be able
893
00:46:04,020 --> 00:46:06,590
to open and close doors,
walk up and down staircases,
894
00:46:06,590 --> 00:46:09,130
completely familiarize yourself
with its layout.
895
00:46:09,130 --> 00:46:11,160
This floor moves
in any direction.
896
00:46:11,170 --> 00:46:13,230
Uh, so you can walk...
897
00:46:13,230 --> 00:46:14,330
(BEEPS)
898
00:46:14,340 --> 00:46:16,370
You can walk as far as you want
899
00:46:16,370 --> 00:46:18,440
in the virtual world...
900
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,140
without ever actually
leaving this room.
901
00:46:21,140 --> 00:46:22,440
One thing, though, sir.
902
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:24,080
- (BEEPS)
- The experience
903
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:25,510
can be very disorientating.
904
00:46:25,510 --> 00:46:27,150
It's completely immersive,
and some people
905
00:46:27,150 --> 00:46:29,010
lose all track
of their actual surroundings.
906
00:46:29,020 --> 00:46:31,250
(CHORTLES) I think
we can pretty much guarantee
907
00:46:31,250 --> 00:46:33,080
that's not gonna happen.
908
00:46:33,090 --> 00:46:35,750
So I'll just need you to sign
the health and safety releases.
909
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:39,690
Would you excuse me
while I find an iPad.
910
00:46:39,690 --> 00:46:42,230
Oh, go with him, Bough.
If we don't chivy him along,
911
00:46:42,230 --> 00:46:44,160
we'll be here all day.
912
00:46:45,030 --> 00:46:46,400
(SIGHS HEAVILY)
913
00:46:48,730 --> 00:46:50,270
Hmm.
914
00:46:52,470 --> 00:46:55,070
(MUMBLES)
915
00:46:55,070 --> 00:46:57,470
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
916
00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:59,180
(WHIRRING STOPS)
917
00:47:02,710 --> 00:47:05,080
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADSET)
918
00:47:06,750 --> 00:47:08,550
♪
919
00:47:10,490 --> 00:47:11,750
Aha.
920
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:15,090
(MUSIC CONTINUES OVER HEADSET)
921
00:47:22,530 --> 00:47:24,530
(DOOR CREAKS)
922
00:47:24,530 --> 00:47:27,200
- (CAR HORN BEEPS)
- (MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
923
00:47:30,570 --> 00:47:32,670
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (HORNS HONKING)
924
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:34,640
MAN: Watch out!
925
00:47:36,580 --> 00:47:38,380
(HORN HONKING, TIRES SCREECH)
926
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,120
(BEEPING)
927
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,050
(AMPLIFIED BREATHING)
928
00:47:44,050 --> 00:47:47,290
(MUSIC CONTINUES OVER HEADSET)
929
00:47:47,290 --> 00:47:49,220
♪
930
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:54,200
(EXHALES)
931
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:56,560
(GRUNTS)
932
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:57,800
WOMAN: What the...?
933
00:47:57,800 --> 00:47:59,100
(GROANING)
934
00:47:59,100 --> 00:48:01,040
(BEEPING)
935
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:05,440
FEMALE AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors closing.
936
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:07,780
Going down.
937
00:48:15,180 --> 00:48:17,150
(GRUNTING)
938
00:48:17,150 --> 00:48:18,320
(AUTOMATIC GUNFIRE)
939
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:20,320
(IMITATING AUTOMATIC GUNFIRE)
940
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:23,120
- What on earth are you doing?
- Hey.
941
00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:30,130
(BEEPING)
942
00:48:35,130 --> 00:48:37,400
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (PANTING)
943
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:39,340
(DOG YAPS)
944
00:48:39,340 --> 00:48:40,870
(WHINES)
945
00:48:40,870 --> 00:48:43,180
(MUSIC CONTINUES OVER HEADSET)
946
00:48:45,180 --> 00:48:46,450
(GRUNTS)
947
00:49:07,300 --> 00:49:09,500
- Hey!
- Oh!
948
00:49:09,500 --> 00:49:11,470
(GRUNTING)
949
00:49:11,470 --> 00:49:13,200
(WHIMPERING)
950
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,340
- (GASPS, YELLS)
- (TIRES SCREECH)
951
00:49:15,340 --> 00:49:16,410
(YELLS)
952
00:49:16,410 --> 00:49:17,740
- (HORNS HONKING)
- (CHUCKLES)
953
00:49:23,810 --> 00:49:25,750
Sorry, sir, but you're going
to have to leave.
954
00:49:25,750 --> 00:49:27,480
Ow! Wha...?
955
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:28,580
Ow!
956
00:49:28,590 --> 00:49:29,680
Don't...
957
00:49:29,690 --> 00:49:31,190
(GRUNTING)
958
00:49:32,390 --> 00:49:33,390
Aah!
959
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:35,720
(EXHALES):{\c} Ah...
960
00:49:35,730 --> 00:49:36,730
(CHUCKLES)
961
00:49:37,590 --> 00:49:38,590
(GLASS SHATTERS)
962
00:49:41,730 --> 00:49:44,260
(AMPLIFIED BREATHING)
963
00:49:44,270 --> 00:49:46,200
♪
964
00:49:48,170 --> 00:49:49,500
(BELL CLANGING)
965
00:49:51,570 --> 00:49:53,640
TOUR GUIDE: So, we'll shortly be arriving
966
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,440
at Admiralty House,
and that actually used to be
967
00:49:56,450 --> 00:49:59,350
Oliver Cromwell's
own house. Um...
968
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:01,950
Uh...
969
00:50:01,950 --> 00:50:03,680
and then we'll be...
970
00:50:03,690 --> 00:50:06,190
going to Horse Guards Parade.
971
00:50:06,190 --> 00:50:08,720
- (GRUNTING)
- Ah...
972
00:50:08,720 --> 00:50:10,520
Perhaps you'd like
to sit down, sir.
973
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:11,860
Aah! Ooh!
974
00:50:11,860 --> 00:50:13,430
Ooh! Aah!
975
00:50:13,430 --> 00:50:15,790
- TOUR GUIDE: Ooh! Aah!
- OTHERS: Hey! Whoa!
976
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:18,430
(GRUNTS FIERCELY)
977
00:50:18,430 --> 00:50:21,700
(EXCITED CHATTER)
978
00:50:21,700 --> 00:50:23,200
Aah!
979
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:24,540
Ooh!
980
00:50:24,540 --> 00:50:25,840
Ooh! Aah!
981
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:27,840
However, the agent we have
on this mission
982
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,410
is confident he's making
major progress, and, uh,
983
00:50:30,410 --> 00:50:32,710
yes, we have a potential
suspect who's been identified,
984
00:50:32,710 --> 00:50:36,550
and... further covert
investigations are now ongoing.
985
00:50:36,550 --> 00:50:38,280
(GASPING)
986
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:39,820
Yes, quite.
987
00:50:39,820 --> 00:50:44,220
So I expect to have more
to announce on this front...
988
00:50:44,220 --> 00:50:45,590
shortly.
989
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,300
(BELL DINGS)
990
00:50:55,470 --> 00:50:57,270
(ELECTRONIC CHIMING)
991
00:50:58,540 --> 00:51:00,440
Oh.
992
00:51:01,540 --> 00:51:02,770
BOUGH: Sir?
993
00:51:02,770 --> 00:51:03,940
Hmm?
994
00:51:03,940 --> 00:51:05,470
Uh, is everything
all right, sir?
995
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:07,280
Yes, I've done it, Bough.
996
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,950
Child's play. Don't know
what all the fuss was about.
997
00:51:11,850 --> 00:51:14,650
(SIRENS WAILING)
998
00:51:17,690 --> 00:51:20,420
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
999
00:51:23,530 --> 00:51:25,560
Pleasure to see you again,
Prime Minister.
1000
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:27,800
(WHISPERS):{\c} Uh, it's a hologram.
1001
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:31,400
Apparently, you just
speak to it normally.
1002
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,900
The pleasure's all mine.
1003
00:51:33,900 --> 00:51:35,440
Hate to rush you,
1004
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,300
but was there something
in particular
1005
00:51:37,310 --> 00:51:39,710
- you needed?
- Actually, I was just calling,
1006
00:51:39,710 --> 00:51:44,480
really, to see if you had had
a chance to think things over.
1007
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:45,880
I have.
1008
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:49,320
But the thing is, Fiona,
1009
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:51,990
I just don't really do
other people's security.
1010
00:51:51,990 --> 00:51:53,720
Not that I don't want to.
1011
00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:55,790
But your infrastructure is old.
1012
00:51:55,790 --> 00:51:58,290
Plus, the only way I could
keep you secure in the meantime
1013
00:51:58,290 --> 00:52:01,330
would be by storing all
your data on my own servers.
1014
00:52:01,330 --> 00:52:03,500
- Obviously, that would be...
- Yes. Jason,
1015
00:52:03,500 --> 00:52:04,930
what I really want to do
1016
00:52:04,930 --> 00:52:07,770
is announce this tie-up
at the G12 meeting.
1017
00:52:07,770 --> 00:52:10,600
Do we have a deal?
1018
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:11,970
(CHUCKLES)
1019
00:52:11,970 --> 00:52:13,770
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
1020
00:52:19,710 --> 00:52:21,680
BOUGH: (WHISPERS) Good luck, sir.
1021
00:52:39,500 --> 00:52:41,100
VOLTA: Hey.
1022
00:52:41,100 --> 00:52:43,070
- Sir?
- I said to get the chopper ready.
1023
00:52:43,070 --> 00:52:44,100
Right there.
1024
00:52:44,100 --> 00:52:46,340
Sir, right away, sir.
1025
00:52:46,340 --> 00:52:47,570
(IRRITATED):{\c} Thank you.
1026
00:52:47,570 --> 00:52:49,470
- Tyler, come in.
- Copy.
1027
00:52:49,470 --> 00:52:51,610
Tyler, can you prepare
the chopper now?
1028
00:52:51,610 --> 00:52:53,540
TYLER: I'll have everything ready
1029
00:52:53,550 --> 00:52:55,030
- in a couple of minutes.
- All right.
1030
00:53:01,950 --> 00:53:04,520
♪
1031
00:53:24,010 --> 00:53:25,740
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
1032
00:53:25,740 --> 00:53:28,480
We can't keep meeting
like this, Mr. Golightly.
1033
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:31,650
- Oh, yes.
- Or do you want to end this charade
1034
00:53:31,650 --> 00:53:32,980
and tell me your real name?
1035
00:53:32,980 --> 00:53:34,080
- Uh...
- (DOOR OPENS)
1036
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:35,780
- (LAUGHTER, CHATTER)
- Go.
1037
00:53:35,790 --> 00:53:37,990
MAN: (IN DISTANCE) Yeah, it's all good here.
1038
00:53:37,990 --> 00:53:40,020
There's so much
you don't understand
1039
00:53:40,020 --> 00:53:42,060
about this world
you've got caught up in.
1040
00:53:42,060 --> 00:53:44,490
Spare me the idiot act.
1041
00:53:44,490 --> 00:53:46,630
You're British Secret Service.
1042
00:53:46,630 --> 00:53:49,100
Impressive work in France,
by the way.
1043
00:53:49,100 --> 00:53:51,530
When did you realize
I was a spy, too?
1044
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:56,100
Oh, pretty much straightaway.
1045
00:53:56,100 --> 00:53:57,810
- Mm.
- Hmm.
1046
00:54:00,510 --> 00:54:02,180
I've spent two years
undercover.
1047
00:54:02,180 --> 00:54:04,740
Simple operation
until you showed up.
1048
00:54:04,750 --> 00:54:06,650
And I like
to keep things simple.
1049
00:54:06,650 --> 00:54:09,980
Simple is my middle name.
1050
00:54:09,990 --> 00:54:11,750
- (DOOR OPENS)
- (GASPS SOFTLY)
1051
00:54:11,750 --> 00:54:12,990
MAN: Yeah, I hear you.
Well, I'm gonna need about
1052
00:54:12,990 --> 00:54:15,460
- five minutes...
- It would seem you've got a choice to make.
1053
00:54:17,830 --> 00:54:19,890
A temporary suspension
of hostilities?
1054
00:54:19,900 --> 00:54:21,990
A short-term partnership?
1055
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:23,700
Agreed.
1056
00:54:23,700 --> 00:54:24,900
Mm.
1057
00:54:27,170 --> 00:54:28,700
(GRUNTS)
1058
00:54:30,770 --> 00:54:32,100
ENGLISH: Hmm.
1059
00:54:32,110 --> 00:54:33,840
VOLTA: Politicians
are even more gullible
1060
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:35,840
- than venture capitalists.
- XANDER: That is correct.
1061
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:37,710
Get me a copy
of the target list.
1062
00:54:37,710 --> 00:54:40,480
We'll hit 'em once more
just to be on the safe side.
1063
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:42,050
Give me your phone.
1064
00:54:42,050 --> 00:54:43,920
You don't have a phone?
1065
00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:45,920
A phone will give anyone
your precise location.
1066
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:49,190
And yet they're so useful
for making phone calls.
1067
00:54:49,190 --> 00:54:51,720
- VOLTA: Excellent.
- I'm not phoning anyone.
1068
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:54,760
I'm gathering evidence.
1069
00:54:57,100 --> 00:54:58,690
XANDER: The target list, Jason.
1070
00:54:58,700 --> 00:55:01,060
Four iconic
Central London landmarks.
1071
00:55:01,070 --> 00:55:03,230
- Make your selection.
- Number three.
1072
00:55:03,240 --> 00:55:05,100
XANDER: The London Eye?
1073
00:55:06,570 --> 00:55:08,910
This cyberattack
could potentially impact
1074
00:55:08,910 --> 00:55:11,770
16,000 visitors.
1075
00:55:11,780 --> 00:55:13,710
(OVER PHONE):{\c} {\c&H00FFFF&}♪ Ra, ra, Rasputin
1076
00:55:13,710 --> 00:55:14,850
♪ Lover of the Russian...
1077
00:55:15,980 --> 00:55:17,710
I found him
1078
00:55:17,710 --> 00:55:20,020
snooping around upstairs.
1079
00:55:20,020 --> 00:55:22,050
And who are you, exactly?
1080
00:55:22,050 --> 00:55:25,190
- I'm not telling you anything.
- Hmm.
1081
00:55:25,190 --> 00:55:28,620
XANDER: Face recognition
software launched.
1082
00:55:28,620 --> 00:55:30,590
Johnny English is
a geography teacher
1083
00:55:30,590 --> 00:55:32,730
from Lincolnshire.
1084
00:55:32,730 --> 00:55:34,100
Rather heavily armed
for a lesson
1085
00:55:34,100 --> 00:55:35,900
on European capitals,
Mr. English.
1086
00:55:35,900 --> 00:55:37,000
(CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY)
1087
00:55:38,500 --> 00:55:40,240
Any thoughts, sweetheart?
1088
00:55:40,240 --> 00:55:42,740
He's British Intelligence.
1089
00:55:42,740 --> 00:55:45,210
(CHUCKLES)
And there you have it:{\c}
1090
00:55:45,210 --> 00:55:47,110
two words that have no right
1091
00:55:47,110 --> 00:55:50,010
being in the same sentence
together.
1092
00:55:50,010 --> 00:55:53,080
(CHUCKLES) Do you really think
I came here alone?
1093
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:56,520
I have a team of crack
operatives out there right now
1094
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,520
just waiting to strike.
1095
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:00,850
(QUIETLY):{\c} Uh-huh.
1096
00:56:00,860 --> 00:56:02,220
(BEEP)
1097
00:56:02,220 --> 00:56:04,260
- (PANTING)
- (DOGS BARKING)
1098
00:56:04,260 --> 00:56:06,560
Aah!
1099
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:08,760
(LAUGHING)
1100
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,530
What has happened
to this country?
1101
00:56:11,530 --> 00:56:14,070
How is it possible
that less than a century ago
1102
00:56:14,070 --> 00:56:17,270
the British Empire ruled
a quarter of the globe,
1103
00:56:17,270 --> 00:56:19,940
and now it's relying
1104
00:56:19,940 --> 00:56:21,840
on someone...
1105
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:24,680
like you?
(LAUGHS)
1106
00:56:27,150 --> 00:56:28,650
(ENGLISH GRUNTS SOFTLY)
1107
00:56:28,650 --> 00:56:30,250
Hey, stop!
1108
00:56:30,250 --> 00:56:31,580
(GRUNTING)
1109
00:56:31,580 --> 00:56:32,590
Stop him?
1110
00:56:34,150 --> 00:56:35,960
- (GRUNTS)
- (DOOR BEEPS)
1111
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:39,720
(VOLTA LAUGHS)
1112
00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:42,060
(PANTING)
1113
00:56:45,870 --> 00:56:47,530
Go.
1114
00:56:55,740 --> 00:56:57,210
- Close the gates.
- Yes, sir.
1115
00:56:57,210 --> 00:56:58,210
(REMOTE BEEPS)
1116
00:56:59,850 --> 00:57:01,050
(LAUGHS)
1117
00:57:02,650 --> 00:57:03,850
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
1118
00:57:07,850 --> 00:57:09,680
Help! Stop!
1119
00:57:09,690 --> 00:57:12,160
Obstacle directly ahead,
Mrs. Trattner.
1120
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:16,690
Check your mirrors
and bring the car to a stop.
1121
00:57:16,690 --> 00:57:18,590
(GRUNTS)
1122
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:19,530
Uh, excuse me?
1123
00:57:19,530 --> 00:57:22,130
Hey, oh, what did you...
what have you...?
1124
00:57:22,130 --> 00:57:24,070
- Ooh.
- Thank you.
1125
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:26,340
(GRUNTS)
1126
00:57:26,340 --> 00:57:29,910
- Drive.
- (WHIMPERING)
1127
00:57:29,910 --> 00:57:32,340
- Excuse me.
- What? What do you think you're doing?
1128
00:57:32,340 --> 00:57:35,880
Excuse me! You are not
a qualified instructor.
1129
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:38,610
(SCREAMS)
1130
00:57:38,620 --> 00:57:39,780
(TIRES SQUEAL)
1131
00:57:39,780 --> 00:57:40,950
(TRATTNER SCREAMS)
1132
00:57:44,690 --> 00:57:46,950
- But what about my instructor?
- Turn left.
1133
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:48,660
Oh!
1134
00:57:48,660 --> 00:57:50,230
- Turn right.
- (WHIMPERS)
1135
00:57:53,730 --> 00:57:55,730
- (TRATTNER GASPING)
- For future reference,
1136
00:57:55,730 --> 00:57:56,960
I'm on your left.
1137
00:57:56,970 --> 00:58:01,870
Please, stop.
I can't do this anymore!
1138
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:06,770
Ah, I can't see anything now.
1139
00:58:06,770 --> 00:58:08,740
Good.
1140
00:58:08,740 --> 00:58:11,650
♪
1141
00:58:19,790 --> 00:58:22,590
- When I say go, turn sharp right.
- Uh-huh.
1142
00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:26,890
(TIRES SQUEAL)
1143
00:58:26,890 --> 00:58:27,890
Three, two, one.
1144
00:58:29,900 --> 00:58:30,900
- Go!
- (WHIMPERS)
1145
00:58:32,870 --> 00:58:34,000
- And straighten up.
- (GROANING)
1146
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:35,100
Straighten up, straighten up.
1147
00:58:35,100 --> 00:58:36,270
And go!
1148
00:58:36,270 --> 00:58:37,970
(TIRES SQUEAL)
1149
00:58:37,970 --> 00:58:40,340
Let's go, let's go.
1150
00:58:40,340 --> 00:58:41,840
♪
1151
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:42,880
Huh.
1152
00:58:46,810 --> 00:58:49,880
Oh, now just bear left
a little. Good.
1153
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:51,040
Straighten up, straighten up.
1154
00:58:55,390 --> 00:58:56,920
Good.
1155
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:58,320
(GRUNTING)
1156
00:59:00,330 --> 00:59:02,860
Well, that was very good,
Mrs. Trattner.
1157
00:59:02,860 --> 00:59:04,300
(TRATTNER WHIMPERS)
1158
00:59:06,430 --> 00:59:09,370
I think you made
some real progress today.
1159
00:59:09,370 --> 00:59:10,700
PEGASUS: You're not hearing me, English.
1160
00:59:10,700 --> 00:59:13,070
Given the prime minister's
new friendship with Volta,
1161
00:59:13,070 --> 00:59:14,400
the situation has changed.
1162
00:59:14,410 --> 00:59:16,110
But the facts haven't, sir.
1163
00:59:16,110 --> 00:59:18,810
That attack is Volta's
responsibility.
1164
00:59:18,810 --> 00:59:21,840
According to you but not
according to anyone else.
1165
00:59:21,850 --> 00:59:23,810
PRIME MINISTER: Is he here yet?
1166
00:59:23,820 --> 00:59:25,250
Good afternoon, Prime Minister.
1167
00:59:25,250 --> 00:59:28,020
- So, this is, uh...
- English, Prime Minister.
1168
00:59:28,020 --> 00:59:29,350
Johnny English.
1169
00:59:29,350 --> 00:59:32,020
What exactly do you have
to say for yourself?
1170
00:59:32,020 --> 00:59:33,120
Rather a lot, actually.
1171
00:59:33,120 --> 00:59:34,120
- Ah.
- (CHUCKLES)
1172
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:36,290
However, men like me don't deal
1173
00:59:36,290 --> 00:59:37,960
in prevarication,
Prime Minister.
1174
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:39,730
So let me get
straight to the point.
1175
00:59:39,730 --> 00:59:43,100
Jason Volta is the man
behind these attacks,
1176
00:59:43,100 --> 00:59:46,470
and I have the evidence
to prove it.
1177
00:59:46,470 --> 00:59:49,970
I managed to record this
inside Volta's country lair.
1178
00:59:49,970 --> 00:59:52,010
But I should warn you,
Prime Minister,
1179
00:59:52,010 --> 00:59:56,440
that what you're about to see
is evil incarnate.
1180
00:59:56,450 --> 00:59:59,350
(INHALES)
Mm.
1181
01:00:01,150 --> 01:00:04,490
Here we are at Fifi's
third birthday,
1182
01:00:04,490 --> 01:00:06,450
and it's a very exciting day!
(LAUGHS)
1183
01:00:06,450 --> 01:00:08,250
(GROUP CHEERING)
1184
01:00:08,260 --> 01:00:11,320
Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!
1185
01:00:11,330 --> 01:00:12,390
GROUP: Hooray!
1186
01:00:12,390 --> 01:00:15,760
♪ Happy birthday to you
1187
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:18,130
- ♪ Happy birthday to you.
- (GRUMBLES)
1188
01:00:18,130 --> 01:00:19,930
(PHONE BEEPING)
1189
01:00:19,940 --> 01:00:23,040
- (SINGING STOPS)
- Thank you.
1190
01:00:23,040 --> 01:00:26,810
Can I just ask,
what is wrong with you?
1191
01:00:26,810 --> 01:00:29,880
The country is in a state
of complete chaos,
1192
01:00:29,880 --> 01:00:31,480
the press is wetting itself,
and the only person
1193
01:00:31,480 --> 01:00:33,840
capable of saving us
is the man you're accusing
1194
01:00:33,850 --> 01:00:35,180
of high treason.
1195
01:00:35,180 --> 01:00:38,450
I was in the room myself
when he gave the order,
1196
01:00:38,450 --> 01:00:39,980
Prime Minister,
but-but there was a,
1197
01:00:39,990 --> 01:00:41,350
- there's a, you know...
- Do you know what I was
1198
01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:42,290
in the room with, English?
1199
01:00:42,290 --> 01:00:44,220
Your file, which I've read
in its entirety.
1200
01:00:44,220 --> 01:00:46,420
And I have a few questions.
Did you or did you not
1201
01:00:46,430 --> 01:00:49,460
burn the Côte de Roc restaurant
in Antibes to the ground?
1202
01:00:49,460 --> 01:00:53,130
- Um...
- And did you or did you not fire a guided missile
1203
01:00:53,130 --> 01:00:54,970
at a peloton
of French cyclists?
1204
01:00:54,970 --> 01:00:57,440
- W-Well...
- Before commandeering
1205
01:00:57,440 --> 01:01:00,240
an open-top bus and tossing
the tour guide off the top deck
1206
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:01,910
and then assaulting
an 82-year-old grandmother
1207
01:01:01,910 --> 01:01:03,440
in a sandwich shop
before battering
1208
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:05,010
the employee
of said sandwich shop
1209
01:01:05,010 --> 01:01:07,540
with two organic
sourdough baguette?
1210
01:01:07,550 --> 01:01:10,310
Uh, I don't remember...
1211
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:13,550
Do you have any idea
how hard it is to be me?
1212
01:01:13,550 --> 01:01:16,550
- Uh...
- Hmm?
1213
01:01:16,550 --> 01:01:19,060
Do you have
even the foggiest notion
1214
01:01:19,060 --> 01:01:21,060
of how virtually
impossible it is
1215
01:01:21,060 --> 01:01:24,190
to get anything done
in the face of events
1216
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:27,060
and facts and voters
1217
01:01:27,060 --> 01:01:30,930
and that tsunami of tosspots
we call the national press?
1218
01:01:30,940 --> 01:01:34,440
Finally I get the chance to do
something good for my country,
1219
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:35,600
and what happens?
1220
01:01:35,610 --> 01:01:38,910
The universe sends me you.
1221
01:01:38,910 --> 01:01:41,240
Well, do you know what I say?
1222
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:43,980
I say "up the universe's arse!"
1223
01:01:43,980 --> 01:01:45,910
And do you know
what else I say?
1224
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:47,880
You're fired
with immediate effect.
1225
01:01:47,880 --> 01:01:49,050
Now get out!
1226
01:01:49,050 --> 01:01:51,120
And make sure I never clap eyes
1227
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:53,390
on that imbecile ever again!
1228
01:01:53,390 --> 01:01:55,320
♪
1229
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,870
(SIGHS)
1230
01:02:19,910 --> 01:02:21,850
(ENGINE STALLING)
1231
01:02:24,190 --> 01:02:25,220
(SIGHS)
1232
01:02:27,590 --> 01:02:30,220
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
1233
01:02:34,630 --> 01:02:38,100
What are you doing, sir?
1234
01:02:38,100 --> 01:02:40,070
What do you think
I'm doing, Bough?
1235
01:02:40,070 --> 01:02:41,630
I'm going home.
1236
01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:44,230
But the prime minister is
finalizing her deal with Volta.
1237
01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:45,600
She's taking him
to the G12 summit
1238
01:02:45,610 --> 01:02:47,270
in Scotland
as her special guest.
1239
01:02:47,270 --> 01:02:48,970
It's over, Bough.
1240
01:02:48,980 --> 01:02:52,280
And there's absolutely nothing
we can do about it.
1241
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:55,150
But, sir, I have a plan.
1242
01:02:55,150 --> 01:02:56,950
Remember my wife?
1243
01:03:05,220 --> 01:03:07,020
Clear your baffles.
1244
01:03:07,030 --> 01:03:08,390
(SOFTLY):{\c} What?
1245
01:03:08,390 --> 01:03:11,060
- Mind your head, sir.
- Ow! Ow.
1246
01:03:11,060 --> 01:03:13,600
- Ooh.
- Oh.
1247
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:15,300
This says we're sinking.
1248
01:03:17,470 --> 01:03:18,330
(HISSES)
1249
01:03:18,340 --> 01:03:21,500
She's old
and a little rusty, but...
1250
01:03:21,510 --> 01:03:23,980
she can put on a hell
of a fireworks display.
1251
01:03:27,340 --> 01:03:30,480
(SEABIRDS SQUAWKING)
1252
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:32,420
♪
1253
01:03:40,060 --> 01:03:42,960
Excellent work, Commander.
1254
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:45,690
Jeremy has always spoken very
highly of you, Agent English.
1255
01:03:45,700 --> 01:03:47,930
Who?
1256
01:03:49,270 --> 01:03:53,730
Oh. Oh, yes. Yes. Hmm.
1257
01:03:53,740 --> 01:03:56,240
I'm no fan
of the pen pushers myself,
1258
01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:57,970
so when orders came through
stationing us here
1259
01:03:57,970 --> 01:03:59,270
for the summit, well,
1260
01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:01,310
I thought a lift
was the least I could do.
1261
01:04:01,310 --> 01:04:04,480
Right, let's get a move on,
Bough.
1262
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:06,480
Oh, if you wouldn't mind
keeping your mobiles off
1263
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:08,210
until you're well clear,
gentlemen.
1264
01:04:08,220 --> 01:04:10,680
The launch systems on the
missiles are a bit 1980s.
1265
01:04:10,690 --> 01:04:13,290
Gets a tad twitchy
around microwave radiation.
1266
01:04:13,290 --> 01:04:14,690
No problem there, Commander.
1267
01:04:14,690 --> 01:04:17,660
We're doing this mission
old-school.
1268
01:04:17,660 --> 01:04:19,590
♪
1269
01:04:23,230 --> 01:04:25,170
(GRAPPLING HOOK FIRES)
1270
01:04:27,230 --> 01:04:29,040
(SOFTLY):{\c} This spot's perfect.
1271
01:04:31,100 --> 01:04:32,310
Come on.
1272
01:04:33,470 --> 01:04:36,180
(STRAINING)
1273
01:04:43,020 --> 01:04:45,650
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
1274
01:04:45,650 --> 01:04:48,290
(GRUNTS LOUDLY)
Sorry, sir.
1275
01:04:48,290 --> 01:04:51,020
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
1276
01:04:51,020 --> 01:04:54,190
Right, Bough.
Our mission here is simple.
1277
01:04:54,190 --> 01:04:57,600
Gain access to Volta's bedroom
and take him out.
1278
01:04:57,600 --> 01:04:59,600
BOUGH: How are you going
to get up there, though, sir?
1279
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:03,700
A walk in the park
for the exoskeleton.
1280
01:05:10,180 --> 01:05:13,280
Remotely operated neoprene
bodysuit.
1281
01:05:13,280 --> 01:05:16,280
Increases the wearer's strength
a hundred times.
1282
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:17,350
- Huh.
- Right.
1283
01:05:17,350 --> 01:05:18,210
Power it up.
1284
01:05:18,220 --> 01:05:19,720
Stick in the floppy disk
and let's go.
1285
01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:27,260
(COMPUTER BEEPS, WHIRS)
1286
01:05:27,260 --> 01:05:29,460
Just, um...
1287
01:05:29,460 --> 01:05:31,260
(BEEPING RAPIDLY)
1288
01:05:31,260 --> 01:05:32,300
(HISSING)
1289
01:05:39,500 --> 01:05:41,470
♪
1290
01:05:44,710 --> 01:05:46,710
Crikey, sir.
1291
01:06:03,190 --> 01:06:04,760
VOLTA: When will the weapon be ready?
1292
01:06:04,760 --> 01:06:06,660
XANDER: As soon as the prime minister
1293
01:06:06,660 --> 01:06:08,790
signs the agreement, tonight.
1294
01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:11,100
- VOLTA: How do I fire it?
- XANDER: Press once
1295
01:06:11,100 --> 01:06:13,330
and the attack is launched.
1296
01:06:13,330 --> 01:06:16,140
After which, the data
of every G12 country
1297
01:06:16,140 --> 01:06:19,770
will be transferred to the
servers on board the Dot Calm.
1298
01:06:19,770 --> 01:06:22,570
VOLTA: Perfect.
1299
01:06:22,580 --> 01:06:24,710
Ah.
1300
01:06:24,710 --> 01:06:26,610
Cheers.
1301
01:06:31,650 --> 01:06:34,120
(VOLTA EXHALES)
1302
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:36,490
You're working
for Russian Intelligence
1303
01:06:36,490 --> 01:06:38,120
and you have been
from the start.
1304
01:06:38,130 --> 01:06:40,290
Which is why I've taken
an antidote to the poison
1305
01:06:40,290 --> 01:06:44,260
you keep in your ring and which
you've poured into this drink.
1306
01:06:44,260 --> 01:06:47,370
And removed the firing pin
from that pistol.
1307
01:06:48,700 --> 01:06:52,640
(GUN CLICKING EMPTY)
1308
01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:54,340
(GASPS)
1309
01:06:54,340 --> 01:06:55,670
(GUN CLICKS EMPTY)
1310
01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:58,340
Everyone has to make a life
for themselves.
1311
01:06:58,340 --> 01:07:01,680
It's just sad that yours is...
1312
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:04,180
- over.
- Hmm.
1313
01:07:04,180 --> 01:07:07,320
Fresh from my 3-D printer.
100% plastic.
1314
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:12,290
And 100% deadly.
1315
01:07:12,290 --> 01:07:14,760
Killing me won't save you.
1316
01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:17,200
VOLTA: (CHUCKLES) Don't bet on it.
1317
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:21,260
Dobryy vecher, Ms. Bhuletova.
1318
01:07:21,270 --> 01:07:24,400
(SOFTLY):{\c} Seriously,
this cannot be happening.
1319
01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:25,540
Oh, but it is.
1320
01:07:26,870 --> 01:07:29,370
Drop the gun.
1321
01:07:29,370 --> 01:07:31,440
Get your hands in the air.
1322
01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:32,740
And you.
1323
01:07:34,610 --> 01:07:37,350
(BODYSUIT HISSING)
1324
01:07:40,850 --> 01:07:42,350
There's no time
for this, Johnny.
1325
01:07:42,350 --> 01:07:44,350
Oh, it isn't possible.
1326
01:07:44,350 --> 01:07:47,460
You cannot be working
with this English idiot.
1327
01:07:47,460 --> 01:07:50,830
Save the pillow talk
for your prison cell, Volta.
1328
01:07:50,830 --> 01:07:52,430
Are you inside, sir?
1329
01:07:52,430 --> 01:07:54,960
Yes, yes, Bough,
you can power down.
1330
01:07:54,970 --> 01:07:57,830
Everything's under control.
1331
01:07:57,830 --> 01:07:59,770
- Shut down.
- (COMPUTER BEEPS)
1332
01:07:59,770 --> 01:08:00,970
(HISSES)
1333
01:08:00,970 --> 01:08:03,300
(SHOUTS)
1334
01:08:03,310 --> 01:08:06,170
(SCREAMING)
1335
01:08:16,420 --> 01:08:17,780
(GRUNTING)
1336
01:08:17,790 --> 01:08:20,250
♪
1337
01:08:21,820 --> 01:08:23,490
(SIREN CHIRPING)
1338
01:08:23,490 --> 01:08:26,290
REPORTER: An historic venue
for an historic meeting.
1339
01:08:26,290 --> 01:08:28,760
The delegates
from each G12 member nation
1340
01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:30,630
will have
their own priorities...
1341
01:08:30,630 --> 01:08:32,900
(REPORTERS SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY)
1342
01:08:32,900 --> 01:08:35,670
♪
1343
01:08:39,370 --> 01:08:41,640
(BREATH SHUDDERING,
TEETH CHATTERING)
1344
01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:43,580
How do we get in now, sir?
1345
01:08:47,580 --> 01:08:48,850
(BAGPIPES PLAYING)
1346
01:08:51,480 --> 01:08:53,750
Wh-What's the plan?
1347
01:08:55,720 --> 01:08:58,190
(BAGPIPES AND PERCUSSION
PLAYING LOUDLY)
1348
01:09:05,300 --> 01:09:08,400
(PLAYING DIFFERENT SONG
OUT OF TUNE)
1349
01:09:22,350 --> 01:09:24,850
(BAGPIPES DEFLATING)
1350
01:09:28,620 --> 01:09:31,420
GUARD: Hey, you! Hey!
1351
01:09:44,870 --> 01:09:48,070
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
1352
01:09:48,070 --> 01:09:49,470
Thank you very much.
1353
01:09:49,470 --> 01:09:50,870
I hope you have
everything you need.
1354
01:10:03,750 --> 01:10:05,860
(METALLIC CREAKING)
1355
01:10:07,820 --> 01:10:09,660
ENGLISH: Ow.
1356
01:10:09,660 --> 01:10:11,460
On behalf
of the United Kingdom,
1357
01:10:11,460 --> 01:10:14,760
may I welcome you here today
to this ancient meeting chamber
1358
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:18,460
where the great Scottish clans
once settled their differences
1359
01:10:18,470 --> 01:10:20,900
and forged new alliances.
1360
01:10:20,900 --> 01:10:23,400
A place
I have specifically chosen
1361
01:10:23,400 --> 01:10:27,770
in order to make
a very special announcement.
1362
01:10:27,780 --> 01:10:28,770
- Oh.
- Sir?
1363
01:10:28,780 --> 01:10:30,080
Ow. Ooh.
1364
01:10:30,080 --> 01:10:32,740
- A-Are you all right, sir?
- No, I'm not all right.
1365
01:10:32,750 --> 01:10:34,010
Get me up, Bough.
1366
01:10:34,020 --> 01:10:35,650
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
1367
01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:39,020
It's very heavy, sir.
1368
01:10:39,020 --> 01:10:42,590
I know how heavy it is, Bough.
1369
01:10:42,590 --> 01:10:43,920
(GROANS)
1370
01:10:43,920 --> 01:10:46,490
We've got to get
to the conference...
1371
01:10:47,960 --> 01:10:51,460
...to the conference room
before Volta tr...
1372
01:10:51,460 --> 01:10:55,730
- before Volta triggers his weapon.
- (VISOR SQUEAKS)
1373
01:10:55,740 --> 01:10:59,740
And so, with my signature
on this agreement...
1374
01:10:59,740 --> 01:11:02,440
it gives me great pleasure...
1375
01:11:02,440 --> 01:11:06,880
oh... to welcome to you
my guest, my friend,
1376
01:11:06,880 --> 01:11:08,380
Jason Volta.
1377
01:11:09,920 --> 01:11:11,450
(LOW BEEPING)
1378
01:11:11,450 --> 01:11:14,750
XANDER: Standing by
to launch attack, Jason.
1379
01:11:14,750 --> 01:11:16,420
Damn it,
get me out of this stuff.
1380
01:11:16,420 --> 01:11:18,490
- Johnny?
- I can't see the join, sir.
1381
01:11:18,490 --> 01:11:19,960
ENGLISH: It's the clasp.
Release the clasp,
1382
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:21,620
and the top and the bottom
separate.
1383
01:11:21,630 --> 01:11:24,060
(ENGLISH GRUNTING)
1384
01:11:24,060 --> 01:11:26,130
It must have jammed
when you fell over, sir.
1385
01:11:26,130 --> 01:11:27,630
- For goodness' sake.
- OPHELIA: Wait.
1386
01:11:27,630 --> 01:11:29,370
Try this.
1387
01:11:34,910 --> 01:11:35,910
BOUGH: That is...
1388
01:11:35,910 --> 01:11:37,740
quite a lot of oil, sir.
1389
01:11:37,740 --> 01:11:39,040
ENGLISH: Oh, come on.
1390
01:11:39,040 --> 01:11:41,140
Come on, come on, c...
1391
01:11:41,150 --> 01:11:43,780
Can you imagine
what the world would look like
1392
01:11:43,780 --> 01:11:45,520
if it was run by Apple?
1393
01:11:46,620 --> 01:11:48,050
Or Google.
1394
01:11:48,050 --> 01:11:49,680
Or...
1395
01:11:49,690 --> 01:11:51,090
me.
1396
01:11:51,090 --> 01:11:53,490
- (CHUCKLES)
- Shh.
1397
01:11:53,490 --> 01:11:57,090
Do you think you'd have
failing schools?
1398
01:11:57,090 --> 01:11:59,690
Do you think you'd have endless
waiting in your hospitals?
1399
01:11:59,700 --> 01:12:00,760
(QUIETLY):{\c} No.
1400
01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:01,800
Think you'd have
such long lines
1401
01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:03,430
in your airports?
1402
01:12:03,430 --> 01:12:05,030
- No.
- PRIME MINISTER: No.
1403
01:12:05,030 --> 01:12:06,900
No, because all of these
1404
01:12:06,900 --> 01:12:09,540
are simple
data management problems.
1405
01:12:09,540 --> 01:12:11,540
And people like me,
1406
01:12:11,540 --> 01:12:13,010
we love data.
1407
01:12:13,010 --> 01:12:15,940
We live for data.
1408
01:12:15,940 --> 01:12:17,810
- ENGLISH: Ha!
- My...
1409
01:12:17,810 --> 01:12:19,910
You know
what I live for, Volta?
1410
01:12:19,920 --> 01:12:21,950
- PRIME MINISTER: Oh, God.
- (GROANS)
1411
01:12:21,950 --> 01:12:25,520
Eliminating the threat
that lying villains like you
1412
01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:27,490
pose to this country.
1413
01:12:27,490 --> 01:12:28,790
(WHISPERS):{\c} Oh, for God's sake.
1414
01:12:28,790 --> 01:12:30,790
- Who is he?
- (LOW CHATTER)
1415
01:12:30,790 --> 01:12:33,160
- Arrest this wack job.
- The only person ordering
1416
01:12:33,160 --> 01:12:35,490
an arrest around here
will be me.
1417
01:12:35,500 --> 01:12:38,130
There's no cause for concern,
ladies and gentlemen.
1418
01:12:38,130 --> 01:12:40,200
You are now
in the capable hands
1419
01:12:40,200 --> 01:12:43,700
of Her Majesty's
Secret Service.
1420
01:12:43,700 --> 01:12:45,500
And, you, my friend,
1421
01:12:45,510 --> 01:12:47,740
are in
for an uncomfortable ride.
1422
01:12:47,740 --> 01:12:50,580
(GASPS)
1423
01:12:53,480 --> 01:12:54,750
Aah!
1424
01:12:55,850 --> 01:12:58,780
(CLATTERING IN DISTANCE FADES)
1425
01:13:00,020 --> 01:13:01,950
(LOUD CRASH)
1426
01:13:04,120 --> 01:13:06,030
Where was I?
1427
01:13:07,490 --> 01:13:09,660
Living for data.
1428
01:13:09,660 --> 01:13:11,260
Exactly.
1429
01:13:11,260 --> 01:13:13,160
My algorithms can solve
1430
01:13:13,170 --> 01:13:17,070
every one of your problems,
as long as I have one thing:{\c}
1431
01:13:17,070 --> 01:13:18,840
control.
1432
01:13:18,840 --> 01:13:22,600
And that is what you
are about to give me now.
1433
01:13:22,610 --> 01:13:24,170
Jason, I wonder if you
1434
01:13:24,180 --> 01:13:26,210
- could just clarify...
- Shut up.
1435
01:13:26,210 --> 01:13:29,180
- (EXCITED CHATTER)
- Now, hold on!
1436
01:13:29,180 --> 01:13:31,650
XANDER: Castle now locked down...
1437
01:13:31,650 --> 01:13:34,550
and under your control, Jason.
1438
01:13:35,650 --> 01:13:38,120
The agreement this ignoramus
1439
01:13:38,120 --> 01:13:41,590
just signed didn't just give me
access to all the U.K.'s data,
1440
01:13:41,590 --> 01:13:44,690
it also gave me access
to a junction box
1441
01:13:44,690 --> 01:13:48,560
in North Ayrshire that connects
the entire World Wide Web.
1442
01:13:48,560 --> 01:13:50,930
Disable the fiber-optic cables
in that box,
1443
01:13:50,930 --> 01:13:52,630
and the Internet...
1444
01:13:52,640 --> 01:13:55,540
will cease to exist.
1445
01:13:55,540 --> 01:13:58,170
- (GROANING)
- Johnny? Are you okay?
1446
01:13:58,180 --> 01:14:00,480
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
1447
01:14:04,110 --> 01:14:06,250
Have you got a phone?
1448
01:14:06,250 --> 01:14:08,020
We need to call for backup.
1449
01:14:08,020 --> 01:14:09,720
There's no time for backup.
1450
01:14:09,720 --> 01:14:11,190
I'm going after Volta.
1451
01:14:11,190 --> 01:14:13,050
And don't lose that one!
1452
01:14:13,050 --> 01:14:15,220
VOLTA: Do you understand
1453
01:14:15,220 --> 01:14:17,990
what it means
if I turn the Internet off?
1454
01:14:17,990 --> 01:14:19,590
Cities will go dark.
1455
01:14:19,590 --> 01:14:22,330
Planes will fall
out of the sky.
1456
01:14:22,330 --> 01:14:24,660
Trains will collide.
1457
01:14:24,670 --> 01:14:26,800
Law and order will break down,
1458
01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:30,200
and the world as you know it
will be over.
1459
01:14:30,200 --> 01:14:31,640
Show...
1460
01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:33,910
don't tell, right?
1461
01:14:35,180 --> 01:14:36,580
(ELECTRONIC DING)
1462
01:14:36,580 --> 01:14:39,640
XANDER: Initiating attack, Jason.
1463
01:14:39,650 --> 01:14:42,580
Taking control of junction box.
1464
01:14:42,580 --> 01:14:45,120
Suspending Internet
and electricity supply
1465
01:14:45,120 --> 01:14:47,120
across Britain and Europe.
1466
01:14:48,720 --> 01:14:51,760
- Stage one of attack complete.
- (GASPING)
1467
01:14:51,760 --> 01:14:53,660
VOLTA: Ladies and gentlemen...
1468
01:14:53,660 --> 01:14:56,830
I can stop the attack,
as long as each of you signs
1469
01:14:56,830 --> 01:14:58,700
the same agreement
as the prime minister,
1470
01:14:58,700 --> 01:15:00,800
giving me complete control.
1471
01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:02,170
Your call.
1472
01:15:02,170 --> 01:15:03,730
MAN: Where's security?
1473
01:15:03,740 --> 01:15:05,740
(OVER PHONE):{\c} Welcome
to British Intelligence.
1474
01:15:05,740 --> 01:15:08,370
- Get me Pegasus.
- For MI5, press one.
1475
01:15:08,370 --> 01:15:10,770
For MI6, press two.
1476
01:15:10,780 --> 01:15:12,910
- (SIGHS)
- For MI7, press three.
1477
01:15:15,310 --> 01:15:16,850
(PHONE RINGS)
1478
01:15:16,850 --> 01:15:18,680
(BEEPING)
1479
01:15:20,120 --> 01:15:23,390
XANDER: Eight G12 signatures
now acquired.
1480
01:15:23,390 --> 01:15:25,190
Signal the chopper.
1481
01:15:25,190 --> 01:15:26,990
We're almost done here.
1482
01:15:26,990 --> 01:15:28,990
(OVER PHONE):{\c} For accounts, press five.
1483
01:15:28,990 --> 01:15:31,690
- For childcare services, press six.
- Oh, come on.
1484
01:15:31,700 --> 01:15:34,060
- For more options, press seven.
- (BEEP)
1485
01:15:34,070 --> 01:15:36,300
(ALARM BLARING)
1486
01:15:36,300 --> 01:15:38,800
What?
1487
01:15:38,800 --> 01:15:40,970
XANDER: Only two
further signatures required
1488
01:15:40,970 --> 01:15:45,010
to achieve control
of G12 nations' data.
1489
01:15:45,010 --> 01:15:47,710
All U.K. data
now successfully transferred
1490
01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:49,310
- to the Dot Calm.
- (SLURPS)
1491
01:15:49,310 --> 01:15:51,150
(OVER PHONE):{\c} For Aphrodite, press one.
1492
01:15:51,150 --> 01:15:53,650
- For Pegasus, press two.
- (GROANS)
1493
01:15:53,650 --> 01:15:54,920
(ALARM BLARING)
1494
01:15:54,920 --> 01:15:56,420
Oh, my God.
1495
01:15:56,420 --> 01:15:58,720
LYDIA: (OVER SPEAKERS) Dive the submarine. Repeat:{\c}
1496
01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:00,320
Dive the submarine.
1497
01:16:00,320 --> 01:16:01,320
(PHONE RINGING)
1498
01:16:02,830 --> 01:16:03,930
Director's office.
1499
01:16:03,930 --> 01:16:05,230
This is Johnny English.
1500
01:16:05,230 --> 01:16:07,400
I need to speak to Pegasus
immediately.
1501
01:16:07,400 --> 01:16:09,130
It's a national emergency.
1502
01:16:09,130 --> 01:16:11,100
- (PHONE RINGING)
- Uh, one moment, please, sir.
1503
01:16:12,770 --> 01:16:14,230
LYDIA: This is HMS Vengeance.
1504
01:16:14,240 --> 01:16:16,040
We have a full launch code.
1505
01:16:16,040 --> 01:16:18,040
Repeat: Launch code is locked.
1506
01:16:18,040 --> 01:16:19,740
Do I have
your permission to fire?
1507
01:16:19,740 --> 01:16:22,710
Oh, my God. Would you
hold on one moment, please?
1508
01:16:22,710 --> 01:16:24,410
Sir? Sir!
1509
01:16:24,410 --> 01:16:27,750
Hello? Hello?
1510
01:16:27,750 --> 01:16:29,050
Sir. HMS Vengeance here.
1511
01:16:29,050 --> 01:16:30,980
Do I have your permission
to launch?
1512
01:16:30,990 --> 01:16:33,990
ENGLISH: What? Listen,
we have to call in an attack.
1513
01:16:33,990 --> 01:16:37,820
- LYDIA: Did you say attack, sir?
- Yes, an attack. Attack.
1514
01:16:37,820 --> 01:16:41,890
General quarters.
We are go for launch.
1515
01:16:41,900 --> 01:16:43,900
Target coordinates locked,
Commander.
1516
01:16:43,900 --> 01:16:44,900
Hello?
1517
01:16:46,370 --> 01:16:47,870
Hello?
1518
01:16:49,370 --> 01:16:50,840
Whoa!
1519
01:16:51,940 --> 01:16:54,040
♪
1520
01:16:57,410 --> 01:17:00,850
MAN: Commander,
the missile's being redirected.
1521
01:17:00,850 --> 01:17:04,950
It seems to be locking on
to a new hostile target.
1522
01:17:06,920 --> 01:17:08,350
What's a "Sherbet F"?
1523
01:17:08,350 --> 01:17:11,320
♪
1524
01:17:19,260 --> 01:17:22,970
- (GASPS, EXCITED CHATTER)
- What was that?
1525
01:17:22,970 --> 01:17:26,270
XANDER: Dot Calm appears
to be off-line, Jason.
1526
01:17:26,270 --> 01:17:29,140
The cyberattack
has been halted.
1527
01:17:32,910 --> 01:17:34,380
Did you...
1528
01:17:34,380 --> 01:17:37,350
make a call quite close
to the submarine, sir?
1529
01:17:40,080 --> 01:17:41,450
Um...
1530
01:17:41,450 --> 01:17:43,490
BOUGH: Because, well...
1531
01:17:43,490 --> 01:17:45,790
you did it, sir.
(CHUCKLES)
1532
01:17:45,790 --> 01:17:47,220
Mission accomplished!
1533
01:17:48,460 --> 01:17:51,230
Well, exactly.
(CHUCKLES)
1534
01:17:51,230 --> 01:17:54,530
XANDER: I am reevaluating
our options, Jason.
1535
01:17:54,530 --> 01:17:57,000
(EXCITED CHATTER)
1536
01:18:01,200 --> 01:18:03,170
OPHELIA: Johnny! Johnny!
1537
01:18:03,170 --> 01:18:06,170
Volta is getting away! He's
heading for his helicopter!
1538
01:18:06,180 --> 01:18:08,880
No, Bough.
1539
01:18:08,880 --> 01:18:10,480
This one's mine.
1540
01:18:12,880 --> 01:18:15,450
- ♪
- (STRAINED GRUNTING)
1541
01:18:32,230 --> 01:18:34,500
(CONTINUES GRUNTING)
1542
01:18:43,180 --> 01:18:45,950
This way, sir. Sir?
1543
01:18:53,350 --> 01:18:56,560
♪
1544
01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:58,190
Last two steps, sir.
1545
01:18:58,190 --> 01:19:00,330
(GASPS, GRUNTS)
1546
01:19:01,890 --> 01:19:03,230
(GASPS SOFTLY)
1547
01:19:03,230 --> 01:19:05,230
Not so fast, Volta.
1548
01:19:05,230 --> 01:19:06,830
(VOLTA LAUGHS)
1549
01:19:06,830 --> 01:19:09,270
Is this supposed to scare me,
Sir Lancelot?
1550
01:19:09,270 --> 01:19:11,470
(LOW GRUNTING)
1551
01:19:13,970 --> 01:19:15,610
- Take cover, Bough.
- Ooh.
1552
01:19:15,610 --> 01:19:18,380
- (BULLETS STRIKING ARMOR)
- (MUFFLED GRUNT)
1553
01:19:19,880 --> 01:19:21,980
(BOUGH WHIMPERING)
1554
01:19:21,980 --> 01:19:25,850
Don't worry, he's only got
six bullets in that thing.
1555
01:19:28,520 --> 01:19:30,990
And, of course,
the thing itself.
1556
01:19:32,920 --> 01:19:35,420
You've run out
of options, Volta.
1557
01:19:35,430 --> 01:19:37,530
Oh, you think you've won?
1558
01:19:37,530 --> 01:19:39,130
Mm.
1559
01:19:39,130 --> 01:19:40,930
XANDER: Rerouting the attack
1560
01:19:40,930 --> 01:19:42,900
to our Nevada servers, Jason.
1561
01:19:42,900 --> 01:19:44,870
The world's going down,
English,
1562
01:19:44,870 --> 01:19:47,100
and I'll be
the last man standing.
1563
01:19:47,100 --> 01:19:48,940
Good-bye, English.
1564
01:19:48,940 --> 01:19:50,910
Good-bye, Internet.
1565
01:19:50,910 --> 01:19:52,870
OPHELIA: I've got it!
1566
01:19:52,880 --> 01:19:56,440
That's a Gazelle 341
light attack helicopter.
1567
01:19:56,450 --> 01:19:59,050
If we can hack
into its operating system,
1568
01:19:59,050 --> 01:20:00,980
we can disable
the drive function.
1569
01:20:02,320 --> 01:20:03,590
Here.
1570
01:20:05,920 --> 01:20:07,890
VOLTA: Look at you!
1571
01:20:07,890 --> 01:20:11,020
You couldn't use that thing
if your life depended on it!
1572
01:20:11,030 --> 01:20:13,190
(LAUGHS)
1573
01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:17,160
VOLTA: Let's get out of here.
Let's get this bird
1574
01:20:17,170 --> 01:20:19,000
in the...
(GRUNTS)
1575
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:20,100
(LOUD THUMP)
1576
01:20:20,100 --> 01:20:22,270
♪
1577
01:20:22,270 --> 01:20:24,370
XANDER: Rerouting complete.
1578
01:20:24,370 --> 01:20:28,210
Attack data now installed
at our Nevada servers.
1579
01:20:28,210 --> 01:20:30,380
Should I initiate?
1580
01:20:30,380 --> 01:20:32,010
Jason?
1581
01:20:34,120 --> 01:20:35,550
(GRUNTING)
1582
01:20:35,550 --> 01:20:38,980
Should I initiate
the new attack?
1583
01:20:38,990 --> 01:20:41,050
Initiate...
1584
01:20:41,060 --> 01:20:42,550
this.
1585
01:20:42,560 --> 01:20:44,960
(DISTORTING):{\c} Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Jason.
1586
01:20:44,960 --> 01:20:47,930
♪
1587
01:20:55,100 --> 01:20:57,300
- (CLAMORING)
- PRIME MINISTER: Well, uh, ladies and gentlemen,
1588
01:20:57,300 --> 01:20:59,470
I think we can all agree
that wasn't quite the evening
1589
01:20:59,470 --> 01:21:01,340
we were expecting.
1590
01:21:01,340 --> 01:21:02,510
(SCATTERED CHUCKLES)
1591
01:21:02,510 --> 01:21:04,210
(PRIME MINISTER CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY)
1592
01:21:04,210 --> 01:21:06,180
(CLEARS THROAT)
1593
01:21:06,180 --> 01:21:08,580
I had hoped to present
to you tonight a vision...
1594
01:21:08,580 --> 01:21:10,150
- (WHISPERS):{\c} Thank you.
- of what Britain
1595
01:21:10,150 --> 01:21:12,680
might be, but as it happens,
1596
01:21:12,690 --> 01:21:15,390
the man who saved us all
this evening, the man who,
1597
01:21:15,390 --> 01:21:19,020
I might add, I personally
assigned to this case,
1598
01:21:19,020 --> 01:21:21,660
has presented us with
a different kind of vision,
1599
01:21:21,660 --> 01:21:23,390
a living embodiment,
if you like,
1600
01:21:23,400 --> 01:21:26,430
of those fundamental
British qualities
1601
01:21:26,430 --> 01:21:30,370
that have ensured that our
beloved island nation endures:{\c}
1602
01:21:30,370 --> 01:21:34,000
courage under fire,
endless ingenuity,
1603
01:21:34,010 --> 01:21:35,740
and, above all, a quiet...
1604
01:21:35,740 --> 01:21:39,080
unassailable dignity.
1605
01:21:39,980 --> 01:21:42,380
(GASPING, GROANS)
1606
01:21:43,650 --> 01:21:45,580
(EXCITED CHATTER)
1607
01:21:54,760 --> 01:21:55,760
Oh.
1608
01:21:57,760 --> 01:21:59,430
Thank you.
1609
01:22:06,640 --> 01:22:09,470
(CHEERING)
1610
01:22:13,380 --> 01:22:14,640
(REVS ENGINE)
1611
01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:16,110
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
1612
01:22:16,110 --> 01:22:17,450
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
1613
01:22:18,550 --> 01:22:20,680
Welcome back, Mr. English.
1614
01:22:20,680 --> 01:22:22,450
- Thank you, Headmaster.
- Thank you for agreeing
1615
01:22:22,450 --> 01:22:25,020
to be our guest speaker.
Now, the governors and staff
1616
01:22:25,020 --> 01:22:26,720
are all waiting for us
in the rose garden.
1617
01:22:26,720 --> 01:22:28,450
Yes, if you could
just excuse me
1618
01:22:28,460 --> 01:22:29,690
for a few minutes, Headmaster.
1619
01:22:29,690 --> 01:22:32,260
- What?
- Sir?
1620
01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:36,760
Oh.
1621
01:22:36,760 --> 01:22:39,630
- Morning, sir!
- Hello, sir!
1622
01:22:39,630 --> 01:22:40,770
- Welcome back, sir!
- Welcome back, sir!
1623
01:22:40,770 --> 01:22:42,670
- Sir!
- Hi, sir!
1624
01:22:42,670 --> 01:22:44,200
- Hello, sir!
- Welcome back, sir!
1625
01:22:44,210 --> 01:22:45,300
Hi, sir!
1626
01:22:45,310 --> 01:22:47,670
Surprise.
1627
01:22:47,680 --> 01:22:49,270
Thank you.
1628
01:22:49,280 --> 01:22:51,240
Where's Straker?
1629
01:22:51,250 --> 01:22:53,540
(GRUNTS)
Here, sir.
1630
01:22:53,550 --> 01:22:55,450
Good. And, of course...
1631
01:22:55,450 --> 01:22:56,710
Baggaley.
1632
01:22:56,720 --> 01:22:58,820
- Oh.
- That was very good, very good.
1633
01:22:58,820 --> 01:23:00,620
All right, gather round,
everyone, gather round.
1634
01:23:00,620 --> 01:23:01,750
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What is it?
1635
01:23:01,750 --> 01:23:03,050
- What is it?
- I've got some toys
1636
01:23:03,060 --> 01:23:04,420
- to show you.
- Yes! - Cool!
1637
01:23:04,420 --> 01:23:06,590
Yes.
1638
01:23:06,590 --> 01:23:09,160
- There we are. There we are.
- Ooh! - Jelly Babies!
1639
01:23:09,160 --> 01:23:11,060
Breadstick blowpipe, anyone?
1640
01:23:11,060 --> 01:23:12,760
- KIDS: Me! Me!
- There you go.
1641
01:23:12,760 --> 01:23:15,470
- Granny Smith hand grenade?
- Mine! - Mine!
1642
01:23:15,470 --> 01:23:16,570
And what about
a garroting watch?
1643
01:23:16,570 --> 01:23:18,270
- Here, sir.
- There you go.
1644
01:23:18,270 --> 01:23:19,770
- (BLOWS DART)
- Aah!
1645
01:23:19,770 --> 01:23:21,470
- KIDS: Ooh.
- Here, let me take that.
1646
01:23:21,470 --> 01:23:23,140
Don't worry,
it's only a mild sedative.
1647
01:23:23,140 --> 01:23:25,210
- (GROANING):{\c} Oh...
- What? - {\c&HFF00FF&}(BEEPING){\c}
1648
01:23:25,210 --> 01:23:27,780
Oh. That's just
a five-second fuse.
1649
01:23:29,110 --> 01:23:30,450
Y-Yes, all right, we all know
1650
01:23:30,450 --> 01:23:31,780
- what garroting looks like.
- (COUGHING)
1651
01:23:31,780 --> 01:23:33,520
Whenever you're ready,
Mr. English.
1652
01:23:33,520 --> 01:23:35,080
Oh, I'm sorry, Headmaster.
1653
01:23:35,090 --> 01:23:36,690
I'll just be one moment.
1654
01:23:36,690 --> 01:23:38,290
(QUIETLY):{\c} Just stick those
back in place...
1655
01:23:38,290 --> 01:23:40,420
- Ooh.
- Put that away, shall we?
1656
01:23:42,230 --> 01:23:44,390
Yeah? Um...
1657
01:23:44,400 --> 01:23:47,400
HEADMASTER: I always did love a Jelly Baby.
1658
01:23:52,640 --> 01:23:55,570
("MOVES" BY OLLY MURS
FEATURING SNOOP DOGG PLAYING)
1659
01:23:55,570 --> 01:24:10,570
- Sync and corrections by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard
Colored HI by GoldBerg_44
132156
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