All language subtitles for ER.S15E07.Heal.Thyself

[theme music]

Hello. I'm Eriq La Salle.

This past week, we lost the
creator of our show

Michael Crichton.

He was a true gentleman,
gracious and witty

a brilliant writer, intelligent
and unfailingly kind.

But most of all,
Michael was a good friend

and we will miss him.

(female narrator)
Previously on"ER."

So you don't remember anything
like this..

I forget lots of stuff.

Do I know you?

You look so familiar.

You know I don't like people
knowing my business.

How can you work
in that place?

- You know it's working.
- Clear.

[sobbing]

[instrumental music]

(Russell)
'Baby?'

'Where are you?'

What are you
doing in here?

I hate this wallpaper.

We'll redo it.

I don't know what you were
thinking last night

talking about that.

It was a dinner party
I didn't pick the topic.

Well, you certainly didn't
hesitate to dive right in.

Maybe that's because you won't
talk about it when we're alone.

You think I blame you
for what happened?

You think I'd still be here
if I did?

I try not to worry
about who you blame.

No offense, but living
with a teenage boy

is like living with
a barn animal.

Only, cows make
better conversations.

Butt abscess,
needs dressing.

Well, at least a cow's
not a predator.

Sarah's friends are
like a pack of she-wolves

with cell phones.

Look, a new one
just for you.

Anal warts.

This is so ass.

Looks like the Gates-Taggart
merger is in full swing.

You mean "TheBrady Bunch"
from hell?

No, actually it's going great,
but she'll never admit it.

Really? Okay.

He's never been happier.

He just loves to complain.

This much we know.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- Sorry?

The VA sent these
records over

and some guy called

from the Wounded
Warriors' Project.

(Frank)
'What's that all about?'

Is the ladies'
room this way?

Uh, yes, ma'am. It's down
the hall and to the left.

(female #1)
'Thank you, dear.'

Hey, is Banfield on?

She should be in soon.

Is that about our homeless vet?

- Yeah.
- What's the story?

I'm gonna figure it out.

Hey, uh, Bertha.

Bertha, this is
not a good time!

- Bertha!
- Whoa, go get her, big boy.

And Hoberman's still waiting
on a cholecystectomy.

Uh, hey, when are you gonna
clear out all these boarders?

We're working on it, Sam.

Oh, well, in the meantime,
you might wanna get

'more than one intern down here
doing your babysitting.'

How's Dr. Wade managing?

- The customers seem satisfied.
- Yeah?

What about you?
Are you satisfied?

I need to loosen up a bit.

I have a tendency
to micromanage.

Yeah, Cate mentioned that.

Cate who?

Dr. Banfield.

You know, the department
head coffee klatch.

Oh, great.

You know, autonomy is a
fine teaching device, Neela.

Let's just make sure
it doesn't lead to slowness

or distraction, okay?

You guys ready? Good.

Ready to round.

Where's your intern?

When are you going to get me
a real bed in a real room?

Uh, soon.
Uh, we're a little backed up.

I was meant to go under
the knife yesterday

so I haven't had anything to
eat but some Jim Jones juice

and Jell-O
that made my poop red.

Red?
Wait, you mean--

Now this?

The mattress is made of cement

and I've seen airport runways
that were less noisy.

Am I smudged?

Uh... just a little.

Hello?

What are you doing?

Mm.

[cell phone ringing]

[panting]

Oh, God.

Hey.

I'm in the middle of my run.

We can talk about this later.

No, I'm not, it's just that..

[sirens wailing]

Listen, I got to go now,
Russell.

(Abuelo)
'No, no, no.'

Nina!

'Nina! Nina!'

Nina!

'Nina! Nina!'

'Nina! Nina!'

[theme music]

- Six down, two to go.
- That's not so bad.

That's just the ER. We have
40 more waiting upstairs.

Okay, right, 67-year-old woman,
presents with neck mass..

Oh, God, with the age again.

...and dysphagia.

- Dis-what?
- Uh, pain on swallowing.

Saying it fancy doesn't make you
seem smarter, Andrew.

It makes you seem insecure.

It's a shorthand doctors use

'to save us time.'

Yes, in theory.

Uh, her son initially noticed
the mass about three months ago

when she visited him
in Michigan.

Ann Arbor. He's a professor
at the university there.

Oh.

'A fine needle aspiration'

showed a degenerative,
albeit benign cyst

'but thyroidectomy
is still indicated'

'for symptomatic relief.'

Alright, that's thorough.
Next?

(Andrew)
'Uh, review of systems
is positive'

'for headache,
back pain, constipation--'

Let's just stick to the thyroid,
Dr. Wade.

That's what we're here for.

I'm with you, Bollywood.

Uh, no palpitations

diaphoresis,
heat intolerance.

- However--
- Her TSH is normal.

So we know there's no
hyperthyroidism, right?

- Right, but there is--
- Okay, then.

Moving on.

Three-year-old, near
drowning with hypothermia.

Core temp's 84.

Bradycardic in the 60s
with a thready pulse.

- Dr. Banfield?
- You're doing a ride-along?

I was out for a run
and saw the rescue team.

Stroller blew into the lake.
Took almost 20 minutes to find--

Twenty minutes? She was under
water that whole time?

[Abuelo speaking in Spanish]

Grandpa took
her on a walk

'cause she was
acting fussy.

[Abuelo speaking in Spanish]

Everything was good,
she was happy.

[Abuelo speaks in Spanish]

And then the baby
was just gone.

Go deep, go!

Go! Go! Go!

[dogs barking]

Chase me.

Nice pass.

(Russell)
'That's why they call it'

a "Hail Mary."

[Cate giggling]

You didn't chase me.

'Cause I'm
the quarterback.

Now, buttonhook.

I'm tired.

Oh, one more touchdown,
then we get ice-cream.

Booker and Banfield.

That's all the Bears
are gonna need this year.

Whoo!

(Cate)
What's your plan, Dr. Martin?

She has a pulse. So not much
to do but warm her up andwait.

Right. So?

Access, warm saline

and get respiratory
down here with a vent.

Get the Bair Hugger
and prep for intubation.

I'll be right in.

- Hey, I have a favor to ask.
- Not now.

I need your help getting an MRI.

If it's an emergency indication,
call the radiologist.

It's not exactly an emergency,
but it needs to happen today.

I have a homeless vet
with seizures

cognitive deficits,
behavioral changes.

Let neuro work it up.

Well, I tried that,
but they said they want him

to come back as an outpatient,
which is never gonna happen.

He's not an ER patient anymore?
It's out of our hands.

He was in Iraq.

A war hero.

Served in the same unit as I did
back in Desert Storm.

I hear the harmonica
playing, Dr. Gates

but work is work
and the rest is irrelevant.

Dr. Banfield, I get this
whole tough boss thing

and it works for you,
it really does

but cut me some slack.

I need your help.

Dr. Banfield, the old ball
and chain on line two.

Thank you.

Tell him I'm in with
a patient, Frank.

I'll call him later.

Max Gonzalez.

Sergeant first class.

You figured out who I am, huh?

Mm-hmm. 101st airborne

1st squadron, 75th cav.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.
They called us the Widow-makers.

So you remember it?

My memory's a work
in progress.

But it's getting better.

So thanks for that.

Don't you want
to hear more?

Not really.

Awarded a silver star
in '06

later wounded
in a rocket attack

killed a bunch
of your buddies.

Doctors documented
altered behavior

anger, depression,
hostility.

- They gave me some pills.
- Yeah, SSRIs. Antidepressants.

Didn't help much.

Then they discharged
you on a 5-13.

Do you remember
what that is?

Yeah.
It meant that I could go home.

(Tony)
'No, it meant the army could
stop giving you medical care'

'stop being responsible
for you.'

It meant I could get the hell
out of there!

Because they said you had
a personality disorder.

'They said that you had
something wrong with your brain'

before you enlisted.

Maybe, there was.

That's what my old man
always said.

What if there wasn't?

What if it was a lie?

Your symptoms are
consistent

with traumatic brain
injury, TBI.

Something you easily could have
suffered when that rocket hit.

So you're saying what?

They dumped me?

I'm saying I think
they missed it

mistreated it and
sent you packing

for the cheapest
possible price.

I wanted out, doc.

Trust me, I wanted out.

Max, you needed out,
but not like this.

I don't want to be here.

I don't like it here.

I know how it is to come back

from a war and feel adrift.

Max.

Just give me a couple
hours to help you.

Tube's in.

Then get Pharmacy to send down
more warm saline

as much as they've got.

ABG's back.
She's acidotic, 7.22.

Should we use a
high vent rate?

The mother's out here.

Someone should probably
talk to her first.

Dr. Morris,
update the family.

I kind of have my
hands full here.

Dr. Martin.

Okay, but, uh,
shouldn't you?

I mean, she is
your patient, right?

What's the CO-2?

Forty.

Standard rate.

The pH might normalize
as we get the temp up.

Hello.

You're the mom?

Sandra Herrero.
Is my daughter okay?

It's hard to know yet.

We're trying
to warm her up now.

She's very strong
for her age

and she's a good girl

very sweet, so..

She'll be okay?

The cold water may have
protected her heart and brain.

We're just waiting to see.

Please, I know you know,
so tell me.

Is my baby gonna
be alright?

(Russell)
Why can't you ever give
a straight answer?

[laughs]

You want to have a baby?

Another baby?

Now?

Well, not right now,
but..

Excuse me, is this..
This is your son?

There's something
wrong with him.

Daryl?

- What?
- Daryl!

Daryl!

- It's happening again.
- Okay, okay, baby.

- We should call an ambulance?
- No, no, I'm a doctor.

(female #2)
'He doesn't look good.'

Alright, he's burning up.

It's just a febrile seizure.

We should get him home
and cool him down.

Maybe we should be safe.

No, no, it's just
like last time.

Look, it's stopping already.

Are you sure?

I've been doing this too long
to make any promises

but I'll tell you this.

Losing control
is not going to help her

so if that's what you got
to do, you do it outside.

In here, you be the mom, you be
calm, you put all your energy

into helping your little girl
fight back

because that's what she needs.

Can I..

Can I go be with her now?

Yes.

[elevator bell dings]

We've still got
seven boarders down here.

Cate's gonna kill me
if we don't clear them out soon.

Yes, she is.

How long is this
gonna go on?

You people are practically
living down here.

And by "you people",
you mean..

- Surgeons.
- Of course.

We're trying to clear our
overflow as quickly as possible.

(Samantha)
'Miss Mendenhall is crashing.'

Well, that's one way.

(Samantha)
BP down to 60/palp.

You got a massive GI bleed.

Saline wide open
on pressure bags.

Prep for a central line,
two units on the rapid infuser.

- Let's go.
- How's her airway?

- Not that great, even on 100%.
- Okay. Tube her, Neela.

Hey, did she complain
of abdominal pain?

No.

Any history of blood per rectum?

Um, no, not so far as I know.

(Neela)
'Suction's on high.'

(Lucien)
'Okay.'

'Call GI. She goes to endoscopy'

'if we get her pressure up.'

- Lost the pulse.
- Ah, damn it.

Starting compressions.

Dr. Banfield,
our frozen girl

is having runs
of V-tach.

(Blanca)
'I've got the amiodarone.'

Okay, give 75 milligrams
and set up an infusion.

(Tracy)
Got it.

BP's 67/32.

Valecia's temperature
has dropped a little.

We're working on that.

Dropped? It's supposed to go up.

- You said--
- I said, stay calm.

I'm stepping up rewarming

with some pleural lavage.

You see that? Huh?

- How are the coags?
- 'Not back yet.'

Do we have a
platelet count?

Specimen clotted.
We had to send it in again.

We should not have to wait
an hour for trauma labs.

Forget it. We'll give platelets
and FFP empirically.

Why do we have to fight the same
battles every damn day?

Go on, do it.

[sighs]

[panting]

How long have we been going?

Thirty-nine minutes.

Another epi. It's
time for another epi.

No, it won't
do any good.

What about the
GI consult?

They won't scope a
patient without a pulse.

Dopamine?

She's had eight units
packed cells

two units FFP.

We've replaced her entire
blood volume twice.

If the heart
could come back,

it would have by now.

- We're done.
- Uh-uh.

We're done.

Two, three, four.

[flatline]

11:58 a.m.

- Any relatives?
- A son.

Sorry?

She said she had a son
in Michigan.

- I'll call him.
- Okay.

I'll get started on the
paperwork for the coroner.

Could you get..

Could you get me
a death kit, please?

- I can take care of that for--
- Please.

Pull the curtain
behind you.

[instrumental music]

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

No, tomorrow is
not good enough.

She needs it now.

What's the hold-up?

There's no ECMO unit
in the hospital.

What? That can't be.

County only
has two machines.

One's in use, the other's
out for repairs.

Systolic's down to 44.

Valecia needs a machine

that will warm her blood

and do the work
of her heart and lungs.

We don't have that here

so we're gonna have
to transfer her

to another hospital.

- Move her?
- What?

It'll take hours for another
hospital to accept her

and then a transport team
to pick her up.

Yes, time is critical,
so let's not waste it.

Call transport. Go.

This girl's not stable enough.

Let's increase
internal rewarming

get the heart in better shape
before we ship her out.

She still has a pulse and BP.

Now is our window.

Dr. Banfield, she's here now.

We gotta work with what we have.

(Cate)
'We don't need to go
to the hospital.'

(Russell)
'You don't know that.'

He's groggy.

He's postictal.

Just like what happened
the other time.

That wasn't the same.

He was fine
in ten minutes.

He had a full workup.

He stayed overnight,
spinal tap, CT..

You're not being objective.

They terrified him,
and they found nothing.

It was nothing.

Febrile seizures recur.

The pediatrician
warned us about it.

What if this is different?

If he is not better
in 20 minutes

we'll take him in.

[bangs]

[monitor beeping]

She's in V-tach again.

We got a pulse?

Thready femoral.

Okay, Morris.

Lead the way.

Alright, let's move her
to a trauma room.

Prep for
peritoneal lavage

ten more liters
of warm saline

and grab a Thora-Seal.

Wait, you're leaving?

Get it started.

I'll be in soon.

It was probably
diverticulosis.

So, she blew an artery
in her colon

and bled to death.

It wasn't foreseeable.

She had none of
the predictors.

Like bloody stool?

Yeah, that
would be one.

She had it.

Alright, it's not here.
You never said.

(Andrew)
'She had it.'

Did you do a
rectal exam?

Check for
occult blood?

Did you ask her about any
specific

signs of GI bleeding?

She, uh, she said
something about the food

making her stool red.

Why didn't you bring this up
at rounds?

'Cause she had
so many complaints.

Her headache could have
been a brain bleed

her backache,
a ruptured AAA.

You know,
it's your job to decide

what needs to be considered
and when to speak up.

If you're submissive
at all

when someone's
life on the line

you're not ready for this.

I tried to speak up,
and nobody listened!

Let's discuss this later.

There's no way to be ready
for something like this

but in the end,
it will make you better.

You can't be
a great doctor

until you've killed
a patient.

Yeah, I've heard
that before.

I think it's called
a rationalization.

It's only been
15 minutes.

It's too long.

I-I'm calling 911.

[sighs]

Russ, he's
waking up.

Hey, sweetie.

How you feeling?

Hey, little man,
you had us scared.

Can't have our number one wide
out on the injured reserve list.

Here, have some water.

(Cate)
Call an ambulance!

(Russell)
Oh, God. Oh, God.

Call an ambulance!

[phone ringing]

Oh, don't bother,
that's my private line.

ER.

(Tony)
'Vindication.'

Look. "Diffuse axonal injury

"in the parasagittal
white matter

consistent with TBI."

Yeah, and this
is vindication because..

It's gonna save Max's life.

Put him on a path
of getting healthy

getting medical coverage.

Well, if you can convince
neuro to readmit him..

- I can, with your help.
- Dr. Gates..

Come on, indulge that
inner softy one more time.

Alright, this is
the last time.

Can I hug you?
I wanna hug you.

Yeah, you try that,
and you'll be the one

with a traumatic injury.

You're the best.

- Dr. Banfield?
- Yep?

Valecia lost her pulse.

(Tony)
Hey, Suri,
what happened to my patient?

I just got here.
That bed's been empty.

- Anybody see him leave?
- Sorry, I don't know.

Hey, Frank. I had a guy
in there from radiology

Max Gonzalez, a vet.

He had a duffel bag with him.
You seen him?

Yeah, that guy was real jumpy.

He went outside for a smoke
maybe 15 minutes ago.

[siren wailing]

Max!

Hey, Max!

[tires screeching]

Max, Wait up.

What happened?

Went into V-fib,
didn't respond to the shock.

She's still too cold.

Alright, this is why
I wanted to transfer.

This is what I
was worried about.

Think she'd be better off
coding in a rig right now?

Please, I stayed calm.

I did what you said.

Please help her.

Please.
You don't need to do that.

Yeah, I don't want him
to pull the IV out.

I'll hold his
hand instead.

[Abuelo praying in Spanish]

It's getting harder to bag.

Might be
pulmonary edema.

[Abuelo continues praying
in Spanish]

Get sterile.

You can help
with the thoracotomy.

Thoracotomy?

Why?

Myocardial irrigation.

I'm gonna open up
your daughter's chest

and flush warm saline
over her heart.

No. Please, don't.
something else.

I know it's scary.

- Try something else!
- If we don't get

her heart beating,
she'll die.

I'm gonna need
a ten blade.

[siren wailing]

Is there a fire, mama?

No, baby,
we're in an ambulance.

We're gonna make
sure you're okay.

Where's daddy?

He's in the car
right behind us.

(Archie)
'Are you sure about this?'

We are not going to let
this baby slip away.

Not here and not now.

(female #3)
'Okay, ma'am. We're here.'

[door opens]

Welcome to County General.

I'm Dr. Greene.

Are you the mom?

[monitor beeping]

(Cate)
What's our core temp?

(Blanca)
'Still 86.'

Take it again.

She just did it
two minutes ago.

Take it again!

[Sandra speaking in Spanish]

Internal paddles.

She's still too cold.

There's nothing to lose.
Clear!

[Sandra speaking in Spanish]

- No change.
- Go again.

Clear!

Why are you doing that?

I've got to get her heart going.

Nothing's working.

Why isn't
anything working?

We're just getting started here.

(Haleh)
Ceftriaxone's in.

Good. Finish the bolus,
then run fluids at 100 an hour.

He needs a D-stick
and a serum CK.

An hour ago,
he didn't need anything.

Why don't we have labs back?

You in the
medical field?

ER attending at U of C

where trauma labs are back
in ten minutes.

Welcome to our world.

Sats' 91 on a 100%.

Come on.
Come on, Daryl.

Wake up.

Alright,
crank the O-2.

What about an ABG?

With your son's
depressed consciousness

and dropping sat,
we may need to consider..

Why don't we do
a head CT first?

We only have one scanner

and your son's in line
behind two criticals.

You have a critical
patient here, a child.

Cate, let them do this.

Is Elizabeth
working today?

I can check.

Forget it.

Call the lab and get them to
read the CBC over the phone.

Pulse ox is 87.

Daryl, honey, wake up
and breathe for us.

Six of etomidate
and 30 of Sux.

No, no tube.
He's just postictal.

Your son's vomited blood

and he's been altered
for over an hour.

My son has a history
of febrile seizures.

Okay, a seizure can't
account for that.

A Mallory-Weiss tear,
an atypical presentation.

He's hypoventilating
and his brain needs oxygen.

- Why don't you check another..
- Listen!

I need to be the mom now, okay?

And I'm gonna
be the doctor.

It works best that way.

- Cate, he's right.
- Where's the chief?

Who's running the floor?

I am.
And I've been doing this job

for awhile,
so you need to trust me.

(Cate)
Clear.

She should be warm enough now
to respond to the shock.

Clear!

I don't understand this.

Autoscope.

Mr. Herrero

did you see her hit
anything on the way down?

[speaking in Spanish]

No. No creo.

On some rocks? Anything?

[speaking in Spanish]

She was really cranky,
so he took her out.

[speaks in Spanish]

He's asking if
it's his fault.

'If he did something wrong.'

CAT scan shows signs
of hypoattenuation

in the distribution
of the MCA.

I-I'm not a doctor.
Can you explain that?

- Your son had a stroke.
- What?

W-w-why would he have that?

I can't explain
that yet.

(Haleh)
'He's bradying down.'

You need to give thrombolytics.

Not without a CBC.

Alright, 0.2 of epi
and prep some atropine.

Let's keep neurosurge
in the loop.

You said he..
You said this was a fever.

You said he didn't
need anything.

99 out of 100 times--

Stop talking like a doctor.

That's our son, damn it!

(Haleh)
'Heart rate's down to 40.'

No pulse.

Starting compressions.

Is there any sickle-cell
in your family?

- Thalassemia?
- No!

Can you think of any reason
why your son had a stroke?

No.

Start atropine.

Mark.

They're waiting
for you upstairs.

I'm a little busy here.

Yeah, I can take over.
It looks like you need a break.

- Any meds?
- No.

He's healthy.
He doesn't take anything.

[softly]
I'll see if they can
hold your chemo.

Is it possible that
he ingested something?

Something from your
medicine cabinet?

Maybe it's an ingestion.

She's up to 94 now.

What medicines are in the house?

- Clear!
- 'Nothing, just aspirin.'

Anything else? Prescription
meds, over-the-counter?

Still V-fib.

- Sandra, mi medicina.
- What? What does he take?

Pills for blood pressure,
carda-something.

Is there any way Valecia
could've gotten into them?

- No. It has a child-proof cap..
- Esta abierta.

Diltiazem.
Diltiazem!

Very toxic in kids.

Blanca, half a gram
of calcium. IV push.

I'll check trauma one.

Lab says that
specimen's hemolyzed.

It's probably because they just
let it sit around for an hour.

- Not the first time.
- It's alright.

I always draw
an extra red top.

Well, let me look at that.

What? What is it?

The buffy coat.

You can't diagnose
anything from--

Look at the ratio
of whites to reds.

Haleh, call oncology.

Have them get that leukapheresis
machine down here now.

Oncology?

You're going to do that
without a confirmed diagnosis?

The seizure, the stroke,
it's sludging.

- It all fits.
- Oh, God.

Jerry, I want you to drag

a hematologist
to a microscope

'and make him look
at this boy's smear.'

(Jerry)
'Right away, Dr. Greene.'

Is someone going to tell me
what is happening here?

Leukemia?

Daryl's got leukemia.

[Abuelo reciting poem
in Spanish]

What's he doing?

"Little Frog Tail",
it's a nursery rhyme.

"If you don't heal today"

[reciting in Spanish]

"You'll heal tomorrow."

Another round of epi.

Toxicology's on their way.

Alright, Dr. Martin,
make those compressions count.

(Blanca)
'Calcium's on board.'

Pushing epi.

Epi's in.

Infusion's on the way.

Is this the leukapheresis case?

We almost have access.
Switch with me.

Platelets are up.

(Cate)
Platelets?

We don't even know
if he's thrombocytopenic.

He's oozing around his IVs.

There's no way he's not.

Platelets could
worsen the viscosity.

He needs a femoral line.

I can't place it
if he can't clot.

- We have no choice.
- He could stroke out!

Listen to me,
we have no choice.

Calcium's back, 4.2.

Going in the right direction.

Not fast enough.
Push another half gram.

Got it.

Repeat the level
with calce, phos, sodium.

Potassium, BUN, creatinine, LDH.

It's been over
ten minutes.

Is-Is this gonna help?

This machine
improves blood flow.

It'll give his heart
a chance to rebound.

When will we know
it's working?

It takes a little time.

(Archie)
It's been 30 minutes.

Clear.

No change.

Come on.

Come on, now.

Clear!

(Mark)
'V-tach.'

Could be hyperkalemic
from tumor lysis.

Five of insulin
with an amp of D50.

Clear!

Still V-tach.

Going again. Clear!

Dr. Greene.

Mix 20 of Kayexalate.

Labs are back.

White count, 167,000.

- Large myeloblasts.
- No. No.

No.

No, no, no.

Yes! Yes, sinus rhythm!

Clear. Clear!

(Tracy)
'Oh, my God.'

'We got a pulse.'

He's been down
for almost an hour.

(Sandra)
'Is she back?
You got her back?'

His brain's been deprived
of oxygen.

Call surgery.

We need to get her upstairs
so they can close the chest.

I'm gonna stop now.

[flatline]

[Abuelo reciting in Spanish]

(Sandra)
'You saved her.'

You saved her!

[Abuelo reciting in Spanish]

[monitor beeping]

[Russell sobbing]

(Russell)
'No.'

[Abuelo praying in Spanish]

(Russell)
'No.'

(Tracy)
'She'll be in surgery
for an hour'

while we clean
and close.

We can go with her?

[Blanca speaking in Spanish]

Have them recheck the calcium.

I wanna thank you.

It's what we do,
when it goes right.

There was a minute there..

It was like
I was losing everything.

You can't imagine--

I'm glad it all
worked out for you.

She's a beautiful child.

[instrumental music]

We're still waiting
on the coroner.

Something else you need?

I want to clean him up.

Probably have some gauze.

I want the tube out.

Normal procedure is..

...we have to wait
for the coroner before..

I'm familiar with procedure.

Where's your husband?

He's calling our families.

I know, uh,
nothing I can say

will probably mean much
to you right now.

But I've..

I've seen enough grief
in my life to..

...know how
devastating it can be.

And, uh..

...how hard it can be
to find the resilience.

I just hope

you and your husband find..

[door opens]

(Robert)
'Greene?'

A minute in the hall?

Excuse me.

So, oncology is mad at me.

Why do you suppose that is?

I've had my hands full, Robert.

Yeah, well, I just
used all my pull

and influence
to persuade them

to keep the chemo suite open
for one more hour.

So get your ass up there
or I'm going to sell

your vincristine on the black
market for its street value.

- I'm still--
- Stop complaining!

Nobody told you
to go and get cancer.

I have to go.

I'll be back
as soon as I can.

You never answered my question.

I can't let you extubate him.

You know that.

You're free to cut the tube.

[melancholic music]

[music continues]

[door opens]

Those are the ones
you never forget.

You shouldn't
be doing that.

I keep a secret stash
in the back of the fridge.

Crack one open when something
really amazing happens.

In five years here,
this is like..

...the third one I've drunk.

One beer every 20 months,
I can overlook.

So, forgive me for noticing..

...but what happened
in there?

Something changed.

The situation evolved.

It was a kid, right?

'We all have one.'

Some case you blew or
patient you should've saved.

'Yours was a kid?'

[sighs]
Yeah.

How old?

He was five years old.

Those are the worst.

He was my son.

He died here.

'In trauma one.'

Your son...died in this ER?

And you're working here?

I'm not sure why I've done

anything I've done
since that day.

'Why did I not leave
my apartment'

for almost two years?

Then I see the news
about the tsunami

'and I fly to a place
10,000 miles away.'

Why'd I do that?

Why'd I come back?

Why did my son have leukemia?

I never understood
any of it.

I'm-I'm sorry for your,
for your loss.

I-I don't really
know what to say.

When your parents are gone,
you're an orphan.

'A spouse dies, you're
a widow or widower.'

But when you lose your baby..

...there's no word for that.

See to it she gets this
before you go.

[horn blaring]

Hey.

Listen,
I would really like to see you.

I-I miss you, Elizabeth.

Please, please don't..

...don't-don't cry.

Yeah.

'Tonight.'

Yeah, yeah.
I'll-I'll come over.

I'll see you then.

I'm sorry
I-I wasn't there

when they came
for Daryl.

But I, uh..

I had to be
somewhere, so, um..

It was an atypical presentation.

Nobodycould've picked it up.

If I had just brought him
in earlier..

He had acute leukemia,
that's why he died.

It might've given me
another day.

A little more time.

They said we can go now.

I-I appreciate your effort,
Dr. Greene.

Take care.

Both of you.

Good luck.

(Cate)
'Baby?'

'Where are you?'

[sighs]

[Cate sighs]

You never cried.

At the hospital

at the funeral.

I've been..

I've been
really angry about that.

You never cried
about anything since that day.

Maybe we've been fooling
ourselves.

Maybe we've been done
for a long time

but never
figured it out.

I never blamed you.

'Never.'

I used to think
every day that..

...if God told me
I could die

and go to heaven and be
with Daryl, I would do it.

I wondered if that made
me an awful person.

That I'd give up
my life with you.

Give up everything we could
still have in the future.

I never...really got away

from the feeling
like I need to be with him.

Dreaming of him.

I never got away
from the idea that..

...somehow I'd be able
to hold him again.

[Cate laughing]

I've been afraid for so long.

I don't wanna be...be afra..

...afraid anymore.

[sobbing]

[melancholic music]

[Cate sobbing]

[theme music]