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1
00:00:01,681 --> 00:00:03,689
Charles, this is exciting.
2
00:00:03,690 --> 00:00:06,123
- Medal of valor.
- I know.
3
00:00:06,124 --> 00:00:07,224
For getting shot
in the butt.
4
00:00:09,361 --> 00:00:12,396
Oh, my butt!
5
00:00:12,397 --> 00:00:13,898
For exceptional acts
of heroism
6
00:00:13,899 --> 00:00:15,799
or voluntary risk
of personal safety.
7
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,434
But, you know, six of one.
8
00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:19,904
This is one of
the NYPD's highest honors.
9
00:00:19,905 --> 00:00:23,774
Today is your day,
Detective Boyle.
10
00:00:23,808 --> 00:00:25,976
Heroism can't be
measured by a piece of metal.
11
00:00:25,977 --> 00:00:27,177
But what else can we do
12
00:00:27,212 --> 00:00:29,213
to recognize
the brave officers
13
00:00:29,214 --> 00:00:31,181
that have put their
lives on the line?
14
00:00:31,216 --> 00:00:34,285
It is my great honor to present
the medal of valor
15
00:00:34,286 --> 00:00:38,122
to Detective
Charles Boyle...
16
00:00:38,156 --> 00:00:40,424
And sergeant
peanut butter.
17
00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:50,434
Oh, my God.
18
00:00:50,435 --> 00:00:52,036
Charles is getting
the same medal as a horse.
19
00:00:52,070 --> 00:00:54,171
At least Boyle
was announced first.
20
00:00:54,172 --> 00:00:55,806
Because the horse
outranks him.
21
00:00:55,807 --> 00:00:57,007
This is amazing.
22
00:00:57,008 --> 00:00:58,742
That's enough, Peralta.
23
00:00:58,777 --> 00:00:59,977
This is a huge honor,
24
00:00:59,978 --> 00:01:01,412
and nothing can take that
away from him.
25
00:01:01,446 --> 00:01:03,414
The horse is pooping
on the stage.
26
00:01:03,415 --> 00:01:05,382
Sergeant peanut butter
is pooping on the stage.
27
00:01:06,418 --> 00:01:10,226
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
28
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:18,074
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29
00:01:29,407 --> 00:01:30,407
Peralta.
30
00:01:30,408 --> 00:01:31,541
Santiago.
31
00:01:31,542 --> 00:01:32,576
The bet ends today.
32
00:01:32,577 --> 00:01:34,278
Are you ready?
I was born ready.
33
00:01:34,312 --> 00:01:35,579
To lose?
The whole question was,
34
00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:36,580
"are you ready to lose?"
35
00:01:36,581 --> 00:01:37,881
And you said
you were born that way.
36
00:01:37,916 --> 00:01:39,082
Twist my words
all you want.
37
00:01:39,083 --> 00:01:40,584
Okay.
I'm winning this bet.
38
00:01:40,585 --> 00:01:41,718
- No.
- What bet?
39
00:01:41,719 --> 00:01:42,719
What are you guys
talking about?
40
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,288
Seriously?
The bet?
41
00:01:44,322 --> 00:01:45,722
They've been keeping score
all year.
42
00:01:45,723 --> 00:01:46,723
It comes up
all the time.
43
00:01:46,724 --> 00:01:48,425
What are you doing
all day?
44
00:01:48,426 --> 00:01:50,327
Nothing.
Why, you wanna hang out?
45
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,262
A year ago today,
Peralta and I made a bet
46
00:01:52,263 --> 00:01:53,931
to prove who's
a better Detective.
47
00:01:53,932 --> 00:01:56,400
Whoever makes more
felony arrests, wins.
48
00:01:56,434 --> 00:01:57,768
What are the stakes?
49
00:01:57,769 --> 00:02:00,570
And don't say money,
because I know you're in debt.
50
00:02:00,605 --> 00:02:02,539
If you really knew
anything about me,
51
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,941
you would've said
"crushing debt,"
52
00:02:03,942 --> 00:02:05,175
and I'll bet whatever,
53
00:02:05,176 --> 00:02:06,410
'cause there's no way
I'm losing.
54
00:02:06,444 --> 00:02:08,645
What about your car?
Oh!
55
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,047
That thing
is a date magnet.
56
00:02:10,048 --> 00:02:12,449
I mean, how many girls have you
made out with in that car?
57
00:02:12,450 --> 00:02:15,118
Six?
Well, I'm gonna win, so sure.
58
00:02:15,119 --> 00:02:17,154
Let's bet the car.
59
00:02:17,188 --> 00:02:18,322
Yes.
60
00:02:18,356 --> 00:02:19,356
No, Jakey, no!
61
00:02:19,357 --> 00:02:20,757
That car
is your superpower.
62
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,693
Thor would never
wager his hammer.
63
00:02:22,694 --> 00:02:25,262
Neil Patrick Harris would never
wager his showmanship.
64
00:02:25,263 --> 00:02:26,430
Losing that car will be
the worst thing
65
00:02:26,431 --> 00:02:27,497
in the world for you.
66
00:02:27,498 --> 00:02:28,498
Well, what's
the worst thing
67
00:02:28,499 --> 00:02:30,100
in the world for you,
Santiago?
68
00:02:30,101 --> 00:02:31,969
Being one of those girls
in Jake's car.
69
00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,303
Okay, okay, okay.
70
00:02:33,304 --> 00:02:34,771
Then it is settled.
71
00:02:34,772 --> 00:02:37,674
If Peralta loses,
Santiago gets his car.
72
00:02:37,675 --> 00:02:41,044
If Santiago loses, she goes
for a date in said car.
73
00:02:41,079 --> 00:02:42,079
Game on.
74
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,480
Game on.
75
00:02:43,514 --> 00:02:45,382
Wow, your handshake
is quite firm.
76
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:46,415
I took a seminar.
77
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:47,451
Where?
78
00:02:47,485 --> 00:02:49,119
And the score
is all tied up.
79
00:02:49,153 --> 00:02:50,887
But not for long.
80
00:02:50,888 --> 00:02:53,090
For in eight hours,
I will win the bet
81
00:02:53,124 --> 00:02:54,758
and take Santiago
on the worst date
82
00:02:54,759 --> 00:02:56,193
in the history
of the world.
83
00:02:56,194 --> 00:02:58,395
Attention.
84
00:02:58,429 --> 00:02:59,429
After today's shift,
I'd like everyone
85
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:00,831
join me at the bar
for drinks
86
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:03,967
in honor of Detective Boyle
and his medal of valor.
87
00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:05,969
Oh, my God, is peanut butter
gonna be there?
88
00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:08,071
That horse is a damn hero.
89
00:03:08,106 --> 00:03:09,740
Peanut butter
will not be joining us.
90
00:03:09,741 --> 00:03:12,376
He's being feted
by the united nations.
91
00:03:12,410 --> 00:03:14,811
As you were.
92
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:17,014
Pen.
You... ow!
93
00:03:17,015 --> 00:03:18,281
Rolly chair!
94
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,083
Gina's desk!
Oh, Jake.
95
00:03:20,084 --> 00:03:22,085
No!
96
00:03:24,389 --> 00:03:25,455
Captain, hey.
97
00:03:25,490 --> 00:03:27,157
You're looking
stoic today,
98
00:03:27,191 --> 00:03:29,659
like a wise old oak.
99
00:03:29,694 --> 00:03:31,294
I'm not gonna give you
more cases
100
00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:33,463
so you can win your bet
with Santiago.
101
00:03:33,498 --> 00:03:35,132
What?
Oh, right, the bet.
102
00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,300
Totally forgot
about that.
103
00:03:37,335 --> 00:03:38,935
Well, granted,
this friendly competition
104
00:03:38,936 --> 00:03:41,204
has led to you and Santiago
putting in more hours
105
00:03:41,205 --> 00:03:44,107
and arresting more perps,
especially this last week.
106
00:03:44,142 --> 00:03:47,177
Up by one, Peralta.
107
00:03:47,211 --> 00:03:48,412
Anything you want to say
to your car
108
00:03:48,413 --> 00:03:50,947
before you never
see it again? Hmm?
109
00:03:50,948 --> 00:03:54,117
Hey, Santiago, do you have
any dietary restrictions
110
00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:55,752
that medieval times
should know about?
111
00:03:55,787 --> 00:03:57,187
Yes, 3-1-1?
112
00:03:57,188 --> 00:03:59,623
What's the safest way
to set a car on fire?
113
00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:04,194
Both of you have done
exemplary work,
114
00:04:04,195 --> 00:04:05,429
which I appreciate.
115
00:04:05,463 --> 00:04:07,664
And I can see that by
the absolutely no indicators
116
00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:08,664
on your face.
117
00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:10,267
However,
you are colleagues,
118
00:04:10,268 --> 00:04:12,169
and the fallout from this bet
has the potential
119
00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:14,438
to put a strain on your
professional relationship.
120
00:04:14,472 --> 00:04:15,939
Only if I lose.
121
00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:17,174
I'm a terrible sport.
122
00:04:17,208 --> 00:04:19,042
Cases will be assigned
as they usually are.
123
00:04:19,077 --> 00:04:22,079
Dismissed.
124
00:04:25,883 --> 00:04:28,418
Captain, you look...
No.
125
00:04:32,423 --> 00:04:34,124
Rosa, hey,
would you like to share
126
00:04:34,125 --> 00:04:35,325
a cup of coffee with me?
127
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,461
I got some gorgeous
new coffee beans.
128
00:04:37,462 --> 00:04:38,829
Sure,
that sounds great.
129
00:04:38,863 --> 00:04:40,864
Isn't that, like, your fifth
cup of coffee today?
130
00:04:40,898 --> 00:04:42,199
I'm trying
to counteract
131
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,234
the drowsiness
from my pain meds.
132
00:04:44,235 --> 00:04:45,368
I took
a double dose
133
00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:47,504
after the incident
at the ceremony.
134
00:04:47,505 --> 00:04:50,907
Bring peanut
butter forward... forward.
135
00:04:50,908 --> 00:04:53,543
Uh, can the little guy
take a big step back, please?
136
00:04:53,578 --> 00:04:54,945
My name
is Charles Boyle.
137
00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:57,214
I won the same medal
as this horse.
138
00:04:58,916 --> 00:05:00,951
The footage from my fall
led the local news,
139
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,053
so who's the hero now,
peanut butter?
140
00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:04,921
Peanut butter.
141
00:05:04,922 --> 00:05:07,290
Gina, you're just
trying to hurt me
142
00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:09,860
to distract yourself
from your own internal pain.
143
00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:12,729
Also, you should use
less conditioner,
144
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,732
because this
is a flat mess.
145
00:05:15,766 --> 00:05:18,034
What's going on with Boyle?
146
00:05:18,069 --> 00:05:19,569
His pain meds
are making him weird.
147
00:05:19,604 --> 00:05:22,806
Oh, okay.
Yes.
148
00:05:22,807 --> 00:05:23,907
This happened to my dad
149
00:05:23,908 --> 00:05:26,243
when he got
his vasectomy un-reversed.
150
00:05:26,244 --> 00:05:28,712
You get all relaxed
and you have no filter
151
00:05:28,713 --> 00:05:31,148
and you just start dropping
truth bombs on everyone.
152
00:05:31,182 --> 00:05:34,084
Oh, that explains
the elevator.
153
00:05:34,118 --> 00:05:36,553
I'm worried you don't
find me interesting.
154
00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:39,122
I'm gonna pretend
someone texted me.
155
00:05:43,127 --> 00:05:45,862
Gina, please keep an eye
on Boyle today.
156
00:05:45,863 --> 00:05:47,430
He's gonna say something
to the wrong person
157
00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:48,598
and get himself punched.
158
00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:50,200
Sure, I'd love to see
Charles get punched.
159
00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:51,401
Try again?
160
00:05:51,402 --> 00:05:53,937
I will stop Charles
from getting punched.
161
00:05:53,971 --> 00:05:54,971
Correct.
162
00:05:54,972 --> 00:05:57,607
Great.
163
00:05:58,609 --> 00:05:59,676
Ladies and gentlemen,
164
00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:02,879
I present Carl Laudson,
who stole $3,000.
165
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,415
Santiago takes the lead
with one minute left.
166
00:06:05,416 --> 00:06:06,950
Suck it, Peralta.
167
00:06:06,984 --> 00:06:07,984
Oh, no.
168
00:06:07,985 --> 00:06:09,619
That's right,
"oh, no."
169
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,021
Oh, no.
You don't seem worried.
170
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:12,022
Why aren't you worried?
171
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,957
Bring in the Johns.
172
00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:15,692
I ran a prostitution sting
through vice
173
00:06:15,693 --> 00:06:17,727
and arrested 30 guys
for soliciting.
174
00:06:17,762 --> 00:06:18,895
That's not a felony.
175
00:06:18,896 --> 00:06:20,263
It is when
it's your second offense,
176
00:06:20,264 --> 00:06:22,799
which is the case for ten
of these gentlemen.
177
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,002
Four of them
are actually named John.
178
00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,137
Ironic.
179
00:06:27,171 --> 00:06:28,738
Anyhoo,
ten more for Peralta.
180
00:06:28,739 --> 00:06:29,739
Accept your fate.
181
00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:30,807
Never.
182
00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:35,845
Five, four, three, two, one.
No.
183
00:06:35,846 --> 00:06:38,949
Jake wins,
Amy loses.
184
00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:47,257
Look!
185
00:06:51,829 --> 00:06:54,431
Amy Santiago,
you have made me
186
00:06:54,432 --> 00:06:56,199
the happiest man
on earth.
187
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,368
I spent $1
on this ring.
188
00:06:58,369 --> 00:07:00,537
Will you go on the worst date
ever with me?
189
00:07:00,538 --> 00:07:01,938
You have to say yes.
190
00:07:01,973 --> 00:07:03,139
Yes.
191
00:07:03,174 --> 00:07:05,175
She said yes!
192
00:07:05,176 --> 00:07:06,643
She said yes.
193
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:09,679
This is for you.
194
00:07:14,780 --> 00:07:17,354
Amy Santiago,
date time.
195
00:07:17,382 --> 00:07:18,783
Time to date.
196
00:07:18,784 --> 00:07:21,285
Peralta, this outfit
is ridiculous.
197
00:07:21,319 --> 00:07:22,453
Chop chop.
198
00:07:22,454 --> 00:07:23,454
There's plenty
of embarrassing to do
199
00:07:23,455 --> 00:07:27,391
and only a few hours
to do it in.
200
00:07:27,392 --> 00:07:28,592
Happy?
201
00:07:28,627 --> 00:07:29,994
Oh, yeah.
202
00:07:29,995 --> 00:07:32,062
You look like every girl
at every bat mitzvah
203
00:07:32,063 --> 00:07:33,330
I ever had a crush on.
204
00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,499
Let's see the bow.
205
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,401
Just like
Jenny Gildenhorn.
206
00:07:37,435 --> 00:07:38,803
Why do I wish
you had braces?
207
00:07:38,804 --> 00:07:40,271
Should we get you braces?
208
00:07:40,272 --> 00:07:41,271
No, that's too much.
209
00:07:41,273 --> 00:07:44,508
Here I come.
210
00:07:44,509 --> 00:07:45,509
Nice shorts.
211
00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:46,510
Thank you.
Believe it or not,
212
00:07:46,511 --> 00:07:47,778
they were not
very expensive.
213
00:07:47,813 --> 00:07:49,547
Do I really have to
wear this all night?
214
00:07:49,548 --> 00:07:50,581
You know the rules.
215
00:07:50,582 --> 00:07:52,016
The date starts now
and ends at midnight.
216
00:07:52,017 --> 00:07:53,050
I decide what you wear,
217
00:07:53,051 --> 00:07:54,418
what you eat,
and where we go.
218
00:07:54,452 --> 00:07:58,189
Oh, and there is
one more rule.
219
00:07:58,190 --> 00:08:00,558
No matter
what happens,
220
00:08:00,559 --> 00:08:02,626
you're not allowed
to fall in love with me.
221
00:08:02,661 --> 00:08:05,663
Won't be a problem.
222
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:12,136
Detective Boyle, I just wanted
to say congratulations.
223
00:08:12,170 --> 00:08:13,493
Your medal
was well-deserved.
224
00:08:13,505 --> 00:08:14,738
Thank you, sir.
225
00:08:14,739 --> 00:08:16,140
Your breath is terrible.
226
00:08:16,141 --> 00:08:18,209
Charles,
can I speak with you?
227
00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:20,077
Hey, where's Rosa?
228
00:08:20,111 --> 00:08:21,712
I haven't seen her
all night.
229
00:08:21,713 --> 00:08:23,280
Did you know my wife
pays me alimony?
230
00:08:23,281 --> 00:08:25,416
Okay, let's take a seat.
231
00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:27,218
I'm gonna keep an eye on
you all night, little buddy.
232
00:08:27,219 --> 00:08:28,419
Okay.
Thanks.
233
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:29,420
Hey, baby.
234
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:32,256
Hey, baby.
Happy you made it.
235
00:08:32,257 --> 00:08:34,792
Captain, I'd like you
to meet my wife, Sharon.
236
00:08:34,793 --> 00:08:35,893
It's so wonderful
to meet you.
237
00:08:35,894 --> 00:08:37,261
I've heard such great things
about you.
238
00:08:37,262 --> 00:08:38,262
And you.
239
00:08:38,263 --> 00:08:40,030
Your husband
is a real hero.
240
00:08:40,031 --> 00:08:41,398
If you ask me,
he should've been up there
241
00:08:41,399 --> 00:08:42,533
with Detective Boyle today.
242
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:43,634
What for?
243
00:08:43,668 --> 00:08:45,483
For saving my life.
244
00:08:45,503 --> 00:08:48,105
He means metaphorically.
245
00:08:48,106 --> 00:08:49,940
You know, saving him
from all that paperwork.
246
00:08:49,941 --> 00:08:52,157
Paper cuts
are a slow death, baby.
247
00:08:52,177 --> 00:08:54,078
No, I was referring to how
he threw his body
248
00:08:54,079 --> 00:08:55,579
at an emotionally
disturbed criminal
249
00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:56,780
who was trying
to kill me.
250
00:08:56,781 --> 00:08:58,782
Nooo!
251
00:09:00,485 --> 00:09:03,487
He did what?
252
00:09:03,521 --> 00:09:06,713
Are you
back in the field?
253
00:09:06,725 --> 00:09:08,859
Oh.
I have caused a problem.
254
00:09:08,894 --> 00:09:12,863
I think I am...
255
00:09:12,864 --> 00:09:14,498
Getting a text message.
256
00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:19,270
Ah. There it is.
257
00:09:19,304 --> 00:09:20,852
Why is this the first
I'm hearing about this?
258
00:09:20,872 --> 00:09:22,940
I thought I told you.
259
00:09:22,941 --> 00:09:24,708
Remember when you were
half asleep
260
00:09:24,709 --> 00:09:26,443
watching the news
and the babies were quiet,
261
00:09:26,444 --> 00:09:28,312
and I said, real low,
"hey, baby.
262
00:09:28,313 --> 00:09:29,647
I'm back in the field.
You want something to eat?"
263
00:09:29,648 --> 00:09:30,714
And you were like,
"what?"
264
00:09:30,715 --> 00:09:31,916
And I was like,
"you want something to eat?"
265
00:09:31,917 --> 00:09:33,183
And you said, "sure."
266
00:09:33,184 --> 00:09:35,825
And I got you
an oatmeal cookie?
267
00:09:35,854 --> 00:09:37,121
Remember?
268
00:09:37,122 --> 00:09:39,990
You are a piece of work,
Terrance.
269
00:09:40,025 --> 00:09:43,416
Oh, damn.
She called me Terrance.
270
00:09:43,428 --> 00:09:45,696
I'm doomed.
271
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,534
Hot date coming through.
272
00:09:50,568 --> 00:09:53,003
Hey, attention,
everyone.
273
00:09:53,004 --> 00:09:56,907
Now I know that tonight
is Boyle's big night.
274
00:09:58,710 --> 00:10:02,413
But let's forget about that
completely for a moment
275
00:10:02,447 --> 00:10:05,688
and admire and comment on every
terrible aspect of this.
276
00:10:08,153 --> 00:10:09,776
Permission to go
to the bathroom?
277
00:10:09,788 --> 00:10:11,322
Granted.
First of three.
278
00:10:11,323 --> 00:10:13,490
Use them wisely.
279
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:15,659
Hey.
280
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:16,794
Congrats again, buddy.
281
00:10:16,795 --> 00:10:18,395
I really am proud of you.
282
00:10:18,396 --> 00:10:19,897
Still wearing the medal,
huh?
283
00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:21,732
Yes, I want women to be
impressed by me.
284
00:10:21,766 --> 00:10:23,968
All right.
285
00:10:24,002 --> 00:10:25,669
Well, I'm sorry
that I can't stay,
286
00:10:25,704 --> 00:10:28,105
but I have a terrible night
planned for Amy.
287
00:10:28,106 --> 00:10:30,307
First up is the mall
photo studio,
288
00:10:30,308 --> 00:10:32,209
where we'll take our official
date portrait.
289
00:10:32,243 --> 00:10:33,811
The picture will
be the two of us
290
00:10:33,845 --> 00:10:35,512
playing one saxophone.
291
00:10:35,513 --> 00:10:37,815
Then some peel-and-eat shrimp
for dinner
292
00:10:37,816 --> 00:10:40,284
at a dangerously cheap
seafood restaurant.
293
00:10:40,285 --> 00:10:42,419
And then I've contracted
a youth choir
294
00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:43,620
to serenade us.
295
00:10:43,655 --> 00:10:48,058
♪ Santiago Santiago
296
00:10:48,059 --> 00:10:49,226
♪ Santiago
297
00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:50,260
♪ Santiago ♪
298
00:10:50,261 --> 00:10:52,863
♪ You suck so bad
299
00:10:52,864 --> 00:10:53,964
Yes!
300
00:10:53,965 --> 00:10:55,599
They'll sing to her
at midnight
301
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,034
the middle
of Times Square.
302
00:10:57,035 --> 00:10:59,269
She and
500 German tourists
303
00:10:59,270 --> 00:11:01,171
will savor that memory
for all times.
304
00:11:01,206 --> 00:11:02,706
Jake, do you know why
little boys
305
00:11:02,707 --> 00:11:04,641
pull little girls' pigtails
on playgrounds?
306
00:11:04,676 --> 00:11:05,776
'Cause they're so easy
to grab.
307
00:11:05,777 --> 00:11:07,177
They're just begging
to be pulled.
308
00:11:07,212 --> 00:11:08,445
Because they
like the girls,
309
00:11:08,446 --> 00:11:09,446
and that's the only way
they know
310
00:11:09,447 --> 00:11:10,414
how to get
their attention.
311
00:11:10,448 --> 00:11:12,016
What are you saying?
312
00:11:12,050 --> 00:11:14,351
All of this teasing,
this elaborate date,
313
00:11:14,352 --> 00:11:16,286
somewhere down deep,
you like Amy.
314
00:11:16,287 --> 00:11:17,521
Like, "like her,"
like her.
315
00:11:17,555 --> 00:11:19,523
Okay, that's
straight-up insanity.
316
00:11:19,557 --> 00:11:20,891
How much did you spend
on tonight?
317
00:11:20,925 --> 00:11:23,494
$1,400, but all of it's
on credit cards,
318
00:11:23,495 --> 00:11:25,662
so it's, like, $5 a month
for the next 2,000 years.
319
00:11:25,663 --> 00:11:26,764
I do not like Amy!
320
00:11:26,765 --> 00:11:28,599
You're putting a lot
of effort into a joke.
321
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,700
Why don't you sit down
322
00:11:29,701 --> 00:11:30,701
and have a real
conversation with her?
323
00:11:30,735 --> 00:11:32,236
Okay, Boyle,
324
00:11:32,237 --> 00:11:34,938
you live in your ex-wife's
new boyfriend's basement.
325
00:11:34,939 --> 00:11:36,440
I'm not taking advice
from you.
326
00:11:37,642 --> 00:11:41,412
I'm ashamed
of my living situation.
327
00:11:41,446 --> 00:11:43,781
Rosa, why are you
sequestered
328
00:11:43,815 --> 00:11:45,516
over by this
old cell phone?
329
00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:47,451
I'm avoiding Boyle
and his truth bombs.
330
00:11:47,485 --> 00:11:51,955
I sometimes worry
I'm gonna become you.
331
00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:53,457
He keeps saying
he wants to talk to me.
332
00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:54,858
I'm afraid he's gonna
tell me he loves me
333
00:11:54,859 --> 00:11:56,827
or propose marriage
or something.
334
00:11:56,861 --> 00:11:57,961
Oh, my God.
335
00:11:57,962 --> 00:11:59,730
That makes me kind of
want to cry.
336
00:11:59,731 --> 00:12:02,266
He dove in front
of those bullets for me.
337
00:12:02,267 --> 00:12:03,500
I can't be mean to him.
338
00:12:03,501 --> 00:12:05,636
I watched him
make coffee
339
00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:07,438
for 28 minutes
this morning.
340
00:12:07,439 --> 00:12:08,872
But I also can't
lead him on.
341
00:12:08,907 --> 00:12:11,175
Captain Holt told me not to
let him get hurt tonight.
342
00:12:11,176 --> 00:12:14,178
So I'll keep him
away from you.
343
00:12:15,246 --> 00:12:17,214
Have you seen Rosa?
344
00:12:17,248 --> 00:12:19,049
Rosa died
eight years ago.
345
00:12:19,084 --> 00:12:22,152
Come on.
Let's get you a drink.
346
00:12:22,187 --> 00:12:23,720
Excuse me, everyone.
347
00:12:23,755 --> 00:12:26,857
Santiago and I will be
performing the steerage jig
348
00:12:26,858 --> 00:12:28,325
from the film Titanic,
349
00:12:28,326 --> 00:12:29,893
which we have prepared for
350
00:12:29,928 --> 00:12:31,495
in no way, shape,
or form.
351
00:12:31,529 --> 00:12:32,529
Romantic.
352
00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:33,831
No, embarrassing.
353
00:12:33,865 --> 00:12:35,332
Milady.
354
00:12:41,539 --> 00:12:43,340
You look pretty.
I hate your guts.
355
00:12:43,341 --> 00:12:45,609
Channel that passion
into the dance.
356
00:12:45,643 --> 00:12:47,644
Peralta.
Scully, tag in.
357
00:12:47,645 --> 00:12:49,780
Okay.
Keep spinning.
358
00:12:49,781 --> 00:12:51,882
Yes. One of
our informants just called.
359
00:12:51,883 --> 00:12:52,883
We've been tracking
a crew
360
00:12:52,884 --> 00:12:54,205
that lifts cargo
out of Laguardia.
361
00:12:54,219 --> 00:12:55,853
The C.I. knows
where the trucks unload,
362
00:12:55,854 --> 00:12:57,455
so I need you to stake out
the drop site.
363
00:12:57,489 --> 00:12:59,923
Oh, sir,
I'm right in the middle
364
00:12:59,924 --> 00:13:01,925
of this date
and I cannot reschedule.
365
00:13:01,926 --> 00:13:04,628
I have far, far too many
non-refundable deposits.
366
00:13:04,629 --> 00:13:06,864
I'm renting a tiger cub
by the hour.
367
00:13:06,898 --> 00:13:08,432
For what?
Don't even know.
368
00:13:08,433 --> 00:13:09,533
Waiting for inspiration.
369
00:13:09,567 --> 00:13:12,035
Well, this is not
a negotiation, so go.
370
00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:15,072
All right, fine,
but I'm taking Santiago with me.
371
00:13:15,106 --> 00:13:17,508
As soon as we're done,
it's back to the date.
372
00:13:17,509 --> 00:13:19,076
Darling.
373
00:13:19,077 --> 00:13:20,344
Brief pause.
Duty calls.
374
00:13:20,345 --> 00:13:23,714
Oh, thank God.
375
00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:24,948
Gina, tag in?
376
00:13:24,983 --> 00:13:27,284
No, not even
if it would cure cancer.
377
00:13:27,318 --> 00:13:30,320
Okay.
378
00:13:33,492 --> 00:13:35,827
Look, baby, I'm sorry,
379
00:13:35,828 --> 00:13:38,396
but Captain's life
was in danger.
380
00:13:38,397 --> 00:13:40,565
I just did
what I had to do.
381
00:13:40,566 --> 00:13:42,667
It was
an impulse decision.
382
00:13:42,702 --> 00:13:45,837
Well, I guess
I can understand that.
383
00:13:45,838 --> 00:13:47,539
Sharon.
384
00:13:47,540 --> 00:13:48,640
I have to apologize.
385
00:13:48,674 --> 00:13:50,508
I want to assure you
that the call
386
00:13:50,509 --> 00:13:51,843
to put sergeant Jeffords
back in the field
387
00:13:51,844 --> 00:13:55,347
wasn't a spur-of-the-moment,
impulse decision.
388
00:13:55,348 --> 00:13:57,949
It's been in the works
for a few months now.
389
00:13:57,984 --> 00:14:01,620
Terry said
it just happened.
390
00:14:01,621 --> 00:14:06,992
I think you two need to get
your stories straight.
391
00:14:06,993 --> 00:14:10,462
Perhaps I should
stop talking to your wife.
392
00:14:10,496 --> 00:14:12,797
That's a good call.
Captain.
393
00:14:12,832 --> 00:14:14,733
Sharon.
394
00:14:16,335 --> 00:14:17,334
I'm so happy
395
00:14:17,336 --> 00:14:18,870
to be out of that dress.
396
00:14:18,871 --> 00:14:20,338
It was weirdly hot.
397
00:14:20,373 --> 00:14:21,539
Oh, yeah,
it's probably because
398
00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:23,541
it was a cotton
and plastic blend.
399
00:14:23,576 --> 00:14:24,876
But not to worry.
400
00:14:24,911 --> 00:14:26,244
We're gonna
catch these guys
401
00:14:26,279 --> 00:14:27,846
and get back to the worst
date of your life.
402
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:28,914
No.
403
00:14:28,915 --> 00:14:30,048
Nothing will
ever be worse
404
00:14:30,049 --> 00:14:32,017
than the date I had
with my aunt's dentist.
405
00:14:32,018 --> 00:14:33,318
You should try
some of this.
406
00:14:33,352 --> 00:14:35,820
Okay.
407
00:14:35,821 --> 00:14:38,223
Oh. Okay. Hold on.
Hmm?
408
00:14:38,257 --> 00:14:40,959
Yeah, dessert
is out of the question.
409
00:14:42,194 --> 00:14:43,428
What was your
worst date ever?
410
00:14:43,462 --> 00:14:45,931
I think it's, like,
a 50-way tie.
411
00:14:45,932 --> 00:14:48,500
The last lady I went out with
burst into tears
412
00:14:48,501 --> 00:14:51,169
when I told her
I was a Gemini.
413
00:14:51,203 --> 00:14:52,404
Wow.
414
00:14:52,405 --> 00:14:54,572
Hey, those people
left that door open.
415
00:14:54,573 --> 00:14:56,441
I bet there's a better vantage
point from the roof.
416
00:14:56,475 --> 00:14:59,344
Mmm, and I bet it doesn't
smell like old cheese.
417
00:14:59,378 --> 00:15:01,046
Okay, that's hurtful.
418
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,847
Shall we?
Yeah.
419
00:15:02,882 --> 00:15:04,582
So what else
don't I know?
420
00:15:04,617 --> 00:15:05,617
You cooking meth?
421
00:15:05,618 --> 00:15:06,618
You breaking bad?
422
00:15:06,619 --> 00:15:08,253
How many phones
do you have?
423
00:15:08,254 --> 00:15:10,188
I'm sorry,
I need to clarify
424
00:15:10,189 --> 00:15:11,323
something
I said earlier.
425
00:15:11,357 --> 00:15:13,058
Sergeant Jeffords
was correct
426
00:15:13,059 --> 00:15:14,659
when he said
that his choice to go back
427
00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:17,128
in the field that night
was an impulse decision.
428
00:15:17,129 --> 00:15:19,698
He didn't even take the time
to stop and gear up, so...
429
00:15:19,699 --> 00:15:20,699
What?
So...
430
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:22,267
You didn't have
your vest on?
431
00:15:22,301 --> 00:15:24,636
Oh, no.
Oh, goodness.
432
00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:25,971
I shouldn't
have said that.
433
00:15:26,005 --> 00:15:27,472
I feel I may
have made things worse.
434
00:15:27,473 --> 00:15:29,574
Wait.
I can fix this, Ray.
435
00:15:29,608 --> 00:15:31,409
Now is not the time, Boyle.
Hush!
436
00:15:31,410 --> 00:15:32,911
I want to hear this.
437
00:15:32,945 --> 00:15:34,312
Boyle, let's not make big...
Hush.
438
00:15:34,313 --> 00:15:36,114
Truth time.
439
00:15:36,115 --> 00:15:37,449
We love your husband.
440
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:38,449
He's a great cop.
441
00:15:38,451 --> 00:15:40,518
We will do anything
to protect him.
442
00:15:40,519 --> 00:15:42,988
And you have incredibly
attractive hands.
443
00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:44,956
And you, what the hell
are you doing,
444
00:15:44,957 --> 00:15:46,091
lying to your wife?
445
00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:47,459
Unless you want to
end up moving
446
00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:49,361
into my ex-wife's new
boyfriend's basement with me,
447
00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:50,829
you better man up.
448
00:15:50,863 --> 00:15:52,564
Don't you ever
keep anything
449
00:15:52,565 --> 00:15:53,999
from this
beautiful woman again.
450
00:15:54,033 --> 00:15:56,001
Seriously,
you are beautiful.
451
00:15:56,035 --> 00:15:57,635
Oh.
If he ever lies to you again,
452
00:15:57,670 --> 00:16:00,405
you can call me.
453
00:16:00,406 --> 00:16:02,240
I'm sorry, honey.
454
00:16:02,241 --> 00:16:03,575
I just didn't
want you to worry.
455
00:16:03,609 --> 00:16:06,277
Baby, I am always
gonna worry about you.
456
00:16:06,278 --> 00:16:07,479
But if you feel
like you're ready,
457
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,980
then get your ass
back in the field.
458
00:16:08,981 --> 00:16:12,217
But if you ever keep
anything from me again,
459
00:16:12,218 --> 00:16:14,853
I will leave you
for this short, earnest man
460
00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:16,621
and his ex-wife's new
boyfriend's apartment.
461
00:16:16,655 --> 00:16:17,822
I know you're kidding,
462
00:16:17,823 --> 00:16:19,991
but Hercules is actually
a very good landlord.
463
00:16:19,992 --> 00:16:21,993
Sometimes, when they go
on nice vacations,
464
00:16:21,994 --> 00:16:23,561
I'm allowed
to use the hot tub.
465
00:16:26,332 --> 00:16:28,166
Man, I don't know
how Batman does it.
466
00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:29,701
It is super scary
up here.
467
00:16:29,735 --> 00:16:31,036
Hey, will you grab
the binoculars?
468
00:16:31,037 --> 00:16:32,337
They're in
my stakeout bag.
469
00:16:32,371 --> 00:16:35,373
Your stakeout bag
is 98% nuts.
470
00:16:35,408 --> 00:16:36,441
I get snacky.
471
00:16:36,475 --> 00:16:38,009
Besides,
nuts are super healthy.
472
00:16:38,010 --> 00:16:39,344
They're, like, 0% fat.
473
00:16:39,345 --> 00:16:41,513
Jake, that's not
true at all.
474
00:16:41,514 --> 00:16:43,615
It's actually
the opposite.
475
00:16:43,649 --> 00:16:46,651
What?
That nut vendor lied to me.
476
00:16:48,387 --> 00:16:50,422
I think a pigeon
just flew out of your car.
477
00:16:50,423 --> 00:16:51,523
Yeah.
478
00:16:51,524 --> 00:16:53,358
The windows
don't exactly roll up.
479
00:16:53,392 --> 00:16:54,826
The car's
a piece of crap.
480
00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:57,929
Why do you love it
so much?
481
00:16:57,930 --> 00:17:00,398
You really
want to know?
482
00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:03,068
I was two days out of
the academy, super nervous.
483
00:17:03,069 --> 00:17:04,469
Saw this guy
run out of a bodega,
484
00:17:04,470 --> 00:17:05,503
clutching
a bunch of cash.
485
00:17:05,504 --> 00:17:08,907
So I pursued him
on foot, 11 blocks.
486
00:17:08,908 --> 00:17:11,076
Finally catch him,
cuff him,
487
00:17:11,077 --> 00:17:14,479
throw him up against
that car.
488
00:17:14,513 --> 00:17:16,514
Turned out there was a for sale
sign in the window,
489
00:17:16,515 --> 00:17:18,850
and, it being the best day
of my life, I bought it.
490
00:17:18,884 --> 00:17:21,853
Thus began the debt.
491
00:17:21,854 --> 00:17:23,088
Crushing debt.
492
00:17:23,122 --> 00:17:25,190
Yeah, you do know me.
493
00:17:25,224 --> 00:17:26,891
Nut?
494
00:17:26,892 --> 00:17:28,059
Only if you throw it.
495
00:17:28,094 --> 00:17:29,661
Ready?
Ready?
496
00:17:29,662 --> 00:17:32,897
Mm-hmm.
Nice.
497
00:17:32,898 --> 00:17:36,634
You ready?
Uh-huh.
498
00:17:39,538 --> 00:17:41,272
What are you doing?
499
00:17:41,273 --> 00:17:42,640
Trying to catch it
in your nose?
500
00:17:42,641 --> 00:17:45,510
I got it,
I got it, I got it.
501
00:17:45,511 --> 00:17:47,245
It's Holt.
Keep practicing.
502
00:17:47,246 --> 00:17:48,580
Okay.
503
00:17:48,581 --> 00:17:49,581
Peralta.
504
00:17:49,582 --> 00:17:50,648
Oh, good news, Peralta.
505
00:17:50,649 --> 00:17:51,749
I found someone
from the night shift
506
00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:53,184
to relieve you
on your stakeout.
507
00:17:53,219 --> 00:17:55,820
Ooh.
Still make Times Square.
508
00:17:58,724 --> 00:18:01,192
You know, Captain,
hold off on the relief team.
509
00:18:01,193 --> 00:18:02,560
We're already here.
510
00:18:02,561 --> 00:18:04,028
Plus I'm curious
to see what happens.
511
00:18:04,029 --> 00:18:05,396
Okay, it's your call.
512
00:18:05,397 --> 00:18:06,664
All right.
513
00:18:08,801 --> 00:18:10,335
What did Holt want?
514
00:18:10,336 --> 00:18:11,569
Just checking in.
515
00:18:11,570 --> 00:18:12,651
How you doing?
Any progress?
516
00:18:12,671 --> 00:18:16,641
Yep.
Watch.
517
00:18:16,642 --> 00:18:18,643
The key is volume.
I see that.
518
00:18:20,655 --> 00:18:21,688
So be honest.
519
00:18:21,689 --> 00:18:22,723
If you'd won the bet,
520
00:18:22,724 --> 00:18:23,890
were you really
gonna destroy my car?
521
00:18:23,925 --> 00:18:27,194
No.
I was gonna drive it.
522
00:18:27,195 --> 00:18:28,562
So I could learn stick.
523
00:18:28,596 --> 00:18:30,664
You wouldn't.
524
00:18:30,698 --> 00:18:32,466
I would.
Would've been, like,
525
00:18:33,468 --> 00:18:36,003
No.
No!
526
00:18:36,004 --> 00:18:38,672
Hey, hey!
527
00:18:38,673 --> 00:18:39,673
There's our guys.
528
00:18:39,674 --> 00:18:41,274
What's the play here?
529
00:18:41,275 --> 00:18:42,476
Just follow my lead.
530
00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:45,212
Give me the ring.
531
00:18:45,246 --> 00:18:46,613
Now give me some nuts.
532
00:18:46,614 --> 00:18:49,182
I'm snacky.
533
00:18:49,217 --> 00:18:51,018
All right, fine,
darling.
534
00:18:51,019 --> 00:18:52,586
I'll ask him.
Will that make you happy?
535
00:18:52,587 --> 00:18:53,587
Excuse me, sir.
536
00:18:53,588 --> 00:18:54,755
We're kind of busye.
537
00:18:54,789 --> 00:18:56,990
Yeah, my girlfriend,
here, thinks we're lost.
538
00:18:56,991 --> 00:18:58,759
No, I know we're lost.
539
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,427
I think he's an idiot.
Idiot?
540
00:19:00,461 --> 00:19:01,595
You know why
we're out here
541
00:19:01,629 --> 00:19:03,563
in the middle
of the night, Susan?
542
00:19:03,564 --> 00:19:04,998
I was gonna
propose to you.
543
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,801
On the Brooklyn bridge,
where we met.
544
00:19:07,802 --> 00:19:08,869
Brooklyn bridge?
545
00:19:08,870 --> 00:19:10,103
We met on
the Manhattan bridge.
546
00:19:10,138 --> 00:19:12,272
You know what?
This is over.
547
00:19:12,273 --> 00:19:14,574
Say good-bye to the ring
and everything it represents.
548
00:19:15,977 --> 00:19:17,745
You son of a bitch!
549
00:19:17,746 --> 00:19:19,679
Hey, hey.
Stop yelling
550
00:19:19,714 --> 00:19:21,415
hey, no one talks to Susan
like that.
551
00:19:21,416 --> 00:19:23,083
And you know what else? On the ground!
NYPD! NYPD!
552
00:19:23,084 --> 00:19:24,618
You're under arrest.
553
00:19:24,652 --> 00:19:25,819
Nice work.
554
00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,220
You too.
555
00:19:27,255 --> 00:19:29,456
I'm sad y'all
are arresting me,
556
00:19:29,457 --> 00:19:33,464
but I gotta say,
I'm glad you're back together.
557
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:38,732
Hey.
I need to talk to you.
558
00:19:38,733 --> 00:19:41,768
Oh.
It's happening?
559
00:19:41,769 --> 00:19:43,837
Remember when I took those
bus for you?
560
00:19:43,838 --> 00:19:45,238
Okay, let's do this.
561
00:19:45,239 --> 00:19:46,606
I think you're sweet...
562
00:19:46,641 --> 00:19:48,341
I didn't know
it was you.
563
00:19:48,376 --> 00:19:50,610
When I jumped in front
of those bullets,
564
00:19:50,645 --> 00:19:52,879
I didn't know
who I was protecting.
565
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,981
I just saw a gun
and an NYPD vest,
566
00:19:54,982 --> 00:19:56,716
and so
I dove on instinct.
567
00:19:56,751 --> 00:19:58,185
You've been extra nice
to me
568
00:19:58,186 --> 00:19:59,786
because you thought
I'd risked my life for you.
569
00:19:59,787 --> 00:20:03,690
But I only did
what every good cop would do.
570
00:20:03,691 --> 00:20:06,259
When you finally
go out with me, and you will,
571
00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:07,561
it'll be because
I do things
572
00:20:07,562 --> 00:20:11,565
that only Charles Boyle
would do.
573
00:20:15,303 --> 00:20:18,271
Um, actually,
I have a coat in here.
574
00:20:18,272 --> 00:20:21,208
It's, uh... it's,
like... actually, I see it.
575
00:20:21,209 --> 00:20:23,050
It's, like... it's blue... it's,
like, right...
576
00:20:25,346 --> 00:20:27,280
Excellent job on the stakeout
last night.
577
00:20:27,315 --> 00:20:29,783
I'm glad to see you two
still work well together
578
00:20:29,784 --> 00:20:31,251
despite that
ridiculous bet.
579
00:20:31,285 --> 00:20:32,919
Thanks.
Me too.
580
00:20:32,954 --> 00:20:35,288
And I appreciate your turning
down the relief team.
581
00:20:35,289 --> 00:20:37,657
I'm not sure
they could've made that bust.
582
00:20:37,658 --> 00:20:39,392
Yeah.
Right.
583
00:20:39,393 --> 00:20:41,995
The relief team.
584
00:20:42,029 --> 00:20:46,500
So... sorry you lost so much
money last night.
585
00:20:46,501 --> 00:20:48,835
Guess you can add it
to your list of bad dates.
586
00:20:48,870 --> 00:20:51,738
Nah, it still goes on
the good date list.
587
00:20:51,739 --> 00:20:55,008
You know, 'cause we caught
the bad guys.
588
00:20:55,009 --> 00:20:56,243
That's very mature
of you.
589
00:20:56,277 --> 00:20:58,278
Well,
I am very mature man.
590
00:20:58,312 --> 00:21:00,614
Package for Amy Santiago.
591
00:21:00,615 --> 00:21:01,781
That's me.
592
00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:05,051
Special delivery from
Jake Peralta to say,
593
00:21:05,052 --> 00:21:06,386
"thanks for last night."
594
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:08,054
Oh, no.
I forgot to cancel.
595
00:21:09,490 --> 00:21:11,424
Cancel what?
Sir, you don't have to...
596
00:21:11,425 --> 00:21:13,460
Okay.
597
00:21:13,461 --> 00:21:16,096
Okay.
All right, so...
598
00:21:18,032 --> 00:21:19,366
Okay, no, no,
no, no, no.
599
00:21:19,367 --> 00:21:20,433
All right, stepping in,
stepping in.
600
00:21:20,434 --> 00:21:22,869
I'll take this bullet
for you.
601
00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:24,604
Ugh. Hitchcock,
what are you doing?
602
00:21:24,639 --> 00:21:27,240
I thought... aren't
we all gonna... no?
603
00:21:27,241 --> 00:21:31,283
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
604
00:21:32,305 --> 00:22:32,310
Who are the real-world Illuminati ?
Find out @ saveanilluminati.com
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