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>> Well, the flowers are nice.
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>> sure.
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but the church is too big.
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laura, cool it.
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is that... you know?
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do you think the -- the mother
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will show up now?
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>> no. no.
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poor thing. he's all alone.
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>> there he is.
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>> he was here the whole time?
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i almost called the cops.
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didn't you tell him to wait for
14
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us?
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>> do we have to create a scene?
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>> why not make a scene?
17
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otherwise it's like i'm not even
18
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there.
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>> you know what?
20
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jonas is gonna be in a nursing
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home by the end of the week.
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mark my words.
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>> ohh.
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>> keep your hands off me, kid.
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>> come on.
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let's go sit down.
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come on. come on.
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>> cousin doesn't look that
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stupid.
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>> he's probably thinking the
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same thing about you.
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>> could you please keep your
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voice down?
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>> we're practically the only
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ones here.
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>> all right, that's it.
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shut up or wait in the car.
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>> luke, dear.
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>> are you okay?
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screaming doesn't accomplish a
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single thing.
42
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makes you look like some
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blithering bozo.
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not good.
45
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>> why are you sleeping here?
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is this your room?
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>> no, grandpa.
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we're at the relatives'.
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>> what are we doing here, luke?
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>> it's past 9:00 p.m. grandpa.
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we're sleeping.
52
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>> if i were 25, i-i wouldn't be
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sleeping here.
54
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i'd be out drinking and screwing
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and raising hell.
56
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>> it's nighttime, grandpa.
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we have to use our inside
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voices.
59
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>> do you like to screw, boy?
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oh, i bet you do.
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it's so wonderful.
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this bed is shit.
63
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>> tomorrow will be a beautiful
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day.
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but you need your rest.
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i'll make you pancakes and eggs
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for breakfast.
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now get some sleep.
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>> you are not listening!
70
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>> i am listening to you.
71
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>> he has lunatic fits.
72
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>> oh, come on.
73
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>> i mean, god knows what other
74
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sick behaviors -- i mean, paul,
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we need to get them proper care!
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it's what's best!
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>> what, best for who?
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for you?
79
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they're family, cindy!
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they're family.
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they're my family.
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they're our family.
83
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>> you are not the one who's
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gonna be stuck with them all
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day!
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>> commercials are...
87
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over.
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>> * there's company and
89
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conversation *
90
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* recipes and new creations *
91
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* we're cookin' up something
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good here at home * omething
93
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>> hello, family, and welcome to
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our indoor memorial day...
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>> luke?
96
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luke, are you in here?
97
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>> every time i plan a picnic
98
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for outside on memorial day...
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>> yes, i'm here.
100
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>> and because you make them,
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you put it together, you're
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done.
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>> how much per pound?
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a whole pound?
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>> crumble it all up...
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>> so you gave us quite a scare
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there, luke.
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>> that's grandma maggie's
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chair.
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she would never allow you to sit
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in it.
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it's not proper to sit in
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someone else's seat.
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i wouldn't...
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we've been looking all morning
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for you, you know.
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i'm missing work.
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cindy is out of her --
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>> grandpa jonas sits there.
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that's his seat.
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he didn't like watching the tv,
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so he would sit in the corner,
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and he would watch us.
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>> i get it.
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>> you can't sit there because
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it's not your chair.
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why would you run off like that?
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huh?
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>> you'll, um -- you'll come
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back with me when you're done
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eating, all right?
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>> no.
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>> what do you mean, "no"?
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>> sorry.
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>> you can't stay here.
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i mean, this house is up for
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sale.
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i thought we got rid of all your
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stuff.
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>> my bed is in the attic.
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i have a night lamp so it is
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never dark.
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>> we'll get you another night
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light, okay?
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>> this is where i live.
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>> all right, i'm -- what do you
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want to do?
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huh?
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what do you want to do?
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you want to stay here and watch,
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uh, uh, cooking shows for the
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rest of your life?
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is that what you want?
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talk to me.
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bargain with me.
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tell me something.
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what do you want to do?
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i want to go out and screw.
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yes.
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like a boy my age.
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do you -- do you even know what
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that means?
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>> so, how long will they be
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staying?
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>> your grandfather and
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cousin...
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will be staying as long as they
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need to.
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>> by executive decision.
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>> this is complete shit.
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>> it's not shit, grandpa.
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it's lasagna.
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>> it's just undercooked...
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and has too much canned tomato
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sauce and not enough flour or
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cheese.
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>> but we must be grateful for
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the hospitality.
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>> no! no, paul. no.
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i'm not waiting for you to take
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a day off.
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i'm going to see nursing homes
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right now.
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your fa-- your father grabbed my
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ass this morning, slipped me a
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$20, and asked me to...
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god, i can't even say it.
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>> flat ass.
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she can't even cook.
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what kind of woman is that?
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>> very easy to say from the
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comfort of your own...
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>> grandpa, i think we need to
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be quiet now.
195
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>> what does it matter, boy?
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i can't get it up.
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it's dead.
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what a tragedy.
199
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>> okay, have a nice day!
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okay, bye!
201
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oh, my god!
202
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>> aunt cindy, we need to stop
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at the nearest restroom.
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>> just hold it.
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we'll be there in 10.
206
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>> please.
207
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>> on my car?!
208
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oh, i just had it cleaned!
209
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goddamn hell!
210
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,453
it's over, boy.
211
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just leave me here.
212
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i'm finished!
213
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i will help you, grandpa.
214
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>> no, no, no, no.
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you shouldn't be doing this.
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oh.
217
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>> relax.
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it was only an accident.
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happens to everyone.
220
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>> now, just one leg at a time,
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grandpa.
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that's right.
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shh. shh.
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come on, grandpa.
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we have to go now.
226
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>> i'm not going anywhere.
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>> aunt cindy is waiting.
228
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she'll scream.
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>> i want a cigarette.
230
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>> grandma said you couldn't
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have cigarettes.
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they'll give you cancers, and
233
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that could make you --
234
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,053
>> are you a child or are you a
235
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:07,921
man, boy?!
236
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:10,557
you stop your damn whining!
237
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,960
you're not a complete moron, you
238
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:13,460
know!
239
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,262
your grandma's not here anymore,
240
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,897
so you better get your shit
241
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,565
together like anybody else!
242
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like a man!
243
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,404
>> smells like a urinal!
244
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ohh!
245
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,175
>> your mother's really
246
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something.
247
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,543
she bought every car-leather
248
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,412
cleaner and air purifier that i
249
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,013
have.
250
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,281
>> she's my aunt cindy.
251
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:36,016
my mother left me when i was 4
252
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:40,187
and doesn't want me back.
253
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,188
>> can i help you?
254
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,455
>> yes, i would like some
255
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:43,490
cigarettes, please.
256
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,992
>> you don't look like the
257
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:45,625
smoking type.
258
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:46,960
that's a nasty habit.
259
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,061
you know that, right?
260
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,429
>> yes, i know very well the
261
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:51,064
dangers of smoking, but grandpa
262
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:52,532
won't come out of the bathroom.
263
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,633
he wants a cigarette.
264
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,202
i told him grandma would not
265
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:56,636
approve, even though she's dead
266
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:58,238
and buried, but he told me to
267
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,639
tell you that i have money and
268
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,208
i'm over 18, so give me some
269
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:04,945
goddamn cigarettes.
270
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,146
>> easy, old man.
271
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,115
no heart attacks on my shift,
272
00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:08,581
okay.
273
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:11,151
piss off.
274
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,253
insolent kid.
275
00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:17,958
hey, come sit down, man.
276
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,559
what are you, a lamp post?
277
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:21,995
come here, man.
278
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,573
>> sam.
279
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:34,574
you are a man.
280
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,443
do you have your shit together
281
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:37,610
like anybody else?
282
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,413
>> i don't know.
283
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,515
stupid job, but it pays the
284
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:43,650
bills, right?
285
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:45,485
>> i don't have a job.
286
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:48,021
>> are you looking?
287
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,556
>> yes.
288
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,424
i can't watch cooking shows for
289
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,659
the rest of my life.
290
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,594
i want to screw.
291
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,930
>> you definitely got your
292
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,399
priorities straight.
293
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,668
well, you can do something,
294
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:02,469
right?
295
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,437
i mean, everybody can do
296
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:05,472
something.
297
00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:06,406
who knows?
298
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,408
one day, you may even screw.
299
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,277
>> uncle paul says i shouldn't
300
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:11,578
think about screwing.
301
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,713
and for sure, not ask aunt cindy
302
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,348
what it really means.
303
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,951
>> you know what?
304
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:20,253
i got something for you, my
305
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:24,657
friend.
306
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,293
this is going to teach you
307
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:27,961
everything you need to know
308
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:33,066
about screwing.
309
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:34,134
stay true to what you
310
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,970
want... always.
311
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,405
all right, i got a customer, so
312
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,172
i got to go.
313
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,274
but you take ca-- yeah, look at
314
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:41,741
that.
315
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,543
look at that right there.
316
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,012
that's you!
317
00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:48,581
>> yes.
318
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:52,385
oh.
319
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,087
>> we have lovely pictures
320
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,722
around, all along the hallway.
321
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:56,623
>> yes, yes.
322
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:57,590
>> carpeting.
323
00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:00,127
>> i-it's like a hotel for old
324
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:00,693
people.
325
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,662
>> yeah, we try to make it a
326
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,731
unique and relaxing experience
327
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,199
for everyone here.
328
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,734
>> absolutely fabulous.
329
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:10,070
you have a room open today?
330
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,172
>> we do have a room available.
331
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,111
>> and repeat.
332
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:21,381
and one, and two, and three.
333
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,185
pathetic.
334
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,186
>> yes.
335
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,688
>> luke, keep an eye on the
336
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:29,756
relatives.
337
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,092
>> i'm going to get a job.
338
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,494
>> oh, that's the ticket, boy.
339
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,097
first the job...
340
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,632
then you find yourself a nice
341
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,668
girl.
342
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,536
girl who doesn't nag, likes to
343
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:44,504
travel and --
344
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,305
>> screw.
345
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,107
>> luke, who taught you that
346
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,042
language?
347
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,243
"make love," son.
348
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,511
that's how you say it.
349
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:55,582
>> okay.
350
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,450
>> you know why your mother left
351
00:16:57,450 --> 00:17:00,753
you?
352
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,255
>> she was young.
353
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,423
>> and stupid.
354
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,592
she didn't even tell us who your
355
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:06,559
father was.
356
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:11,231
probably some other idiot kid.
357
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:11,831
it's true.
358
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,400
you were a crazy child.
359
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,268
i felt like drowning you in the
360
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:18,438
bath more than once.
361
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,407
look at you now.
362
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,842
you're a man.
363
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:25,278
well, almost, anyway.
364
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,722
i won't be getting out of here.
365
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,291
you're on your own, kid.
366
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,708
>> hey, how about we give each
367
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,177
other a little alone time?
368
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:59,546
what do you think?
369
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:43,523
>> brad!
370
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,425
>> luke, i thought you were with
371
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:45,892
my mom.
372
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:47,727
>> no, i'm standing right here.
373
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:48,728
>> who is that?
374
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:49,829
>> it's my cousin.
375
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,531
you know, the one i told you
376
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:52,165
about?
377
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:52,932
>> the retard?
378
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,534
>> no, he's not retarded,
379
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:55,235
exactly.
380
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,703
he's autistic or something.
381
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,171
right, luke? autistic?
382
00:18:58,171 --> 00:18:59,672
>> grandma said that i defy
383
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,208
clinical categorization.
384
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:02,775
i'm just as special as anyone
385
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,511
else, maybe even a little bit
386
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:04,911
more.
387
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,579
>> listen, luke, you cannot tell
388
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:07,847
mom about this, all right?
389
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,249
she can be a total bitch
390
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:09,749
sometimes.
391
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,384
just be a little white lie, you
392
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:11,718
know?
393
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,386
all right, you're not gonna tell
394
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:14,221
on me, right?
395
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:17,924
>> tell what?
396
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:20,927
>> oh. pretty sharp, cousin.
397
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,495
hey, um, do you want to come
398
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,763
chill with us for a while?
399
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:24,431
>> uh...
400
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:25,865
>> yeah, yeah, go sit down with
401
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,534
charlene, and i'll go grab some
402
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:32,605
beer from my dad's secret stash.
403
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:38,945
so, want to sit?
404
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:44,517
>> hmm?
405
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,656
um, sorry to hear about your
406
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:50,923
grandmother.
407
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,692
and sorry i called you a... you
408
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:53,293
know.
409
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,994
>> people who call me that are
410
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,763
ignorant fools or retarded
411
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:57,630
themselves.
412
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:58,665
i'm quite smart.
413
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,500
i have a high-school diploma and
414
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,968
a certificate from advanced
415
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,603
cooking technique by mail.
416
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,506
you're cute.
417
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,875
you know that?
418
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:12,345
>> no. i did not.
419
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:16,349
i'm cute.
420
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:20,420
>> so, luke...
421
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,655
how long were you watching us?
422
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:23,990
>> three minutes?
423
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,992
>> should have kept quiet.
424
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:28,361
could have learned a thing or
425
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:28,828
two.
426
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:31,631
>> mm, yes, i am a fast learner.
427
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:38,705
could you do me a huge favor?
428
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:39,706
>> no?
429
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,974
yes! yes.
430
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:44,577
>> could you pass me my bra?
431
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,713
it's right over there.
432
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:59,025
>> luke, are you touching my
433
00:20:59,025 --> 00:20:59,926
girlfriend?
434
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:00,793
>> yes. no!
435
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,562
>> charlene is smoking-hot,
436
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,931
isn't she?
437
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,833
>> do you think i'm pretty?
438
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,735
>> you are very easy on the
439
00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:09,402
eyes.
440
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,004
>> charlene's got the best tits
441
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:12,739
in school.
442
00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:14,407
but you'll have to find your own
443
00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:14,907
hot bitch.
444
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,344
>> where?
445
00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:19,479
>> where do you find a girl?
446
00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:21,648
>> mm, smoking-hot bitch like
447
00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:23,383
charlene.
448
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,419
i was joking.
449
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:27,654
but, i mean, i don't want to put
450
00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:28,755
you down or anything 'cause
451
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:29,622
you're a nice guy.
452
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,759
but, um, girls, really?
453
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,327
>> yes.
454
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:36,596
girls. really.
455
00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:41,968
>> mm.
456
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:53,946
>> hi.
457
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:56,015
>> so, did the nursing home not
458
00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:57,717
meet your expectations?
459
00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:59,018
>> no, it was fine.
460
00:21:59,018 --> 00:22:00,453
it was just fine.
461
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:02,389
thank you for setting it up,
462
00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:02,989
okay?
463
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:04,824
>> praise, indeed.
464
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,893
oh, i found ben and his lovely
465
00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:08,995
girlfriend drinking when i got
466
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:10,397
home, with luke.
467
00:22:10,397 --> 00:22:10,897
>> what?
468
00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:12,565
>> yeah, they got him drunk.
469
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:13,800
he could barely speak.
470
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,435
he just kept staring at her
471
00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:15,802
tits.
472
00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:18,371
>> bad boy, luke.
473
00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,632
hmm...
474
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:57,944
>> what did you put in these?
475
00:22:57,944 --> 00:22:58,678
crack?
476
00:22:58,678 --> 00:23:00,413
>> just butter and love.
477
00:23:00,413 --> 00:23:02,515
>> cousin, i think you're okay,
478
00:23:02,515 --> 00:23:04,584
so i'm gonna give you the heads
479
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:04,951
up.
480
00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:06,619
my parents are a burnt toast
481
00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:08,120
away from killing each other.
482
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:09,856
think bloody, national evening
483
00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:10,457
news.
484
00:23:10,457 --> 00:23:11,991
mom is on heavy, heavy
485
00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:14,160
antidepressants but is still a
486
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,763
psycho bitch.
487
00:23:16,763 --> 00:23:18,865
and dad, although he doesn't
488
00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:21,133
seem it, is the worst of all.
489
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:23,503
you're not safe here.
490
00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:26,473
none of us are.
491
00:23:26,473 --> 00:23:30,443
>> cousin megan... could i ask
492
00:23:30,443 --> 00:23:32,178
you a question?
493
00:23:32,178 --> 00:23:33,913
>> sure.
494
00:23:40,453 --> 00:23:42,489
>> how can i find a job?
495
00:23:42,489 --> 00:23:44,724
>> well, there's millions of
496
00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:47,126
sites for that on the internet.
497
00:23:47,126 --> 00:23:50,730
don't you have a laptop?
498
00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:55,502
the classifieds.
499
00:23:55,502 --> 00:23:56,936
my dad still gets the local
500
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:57,704
newspaper.
501
00:23:57,704 --> 00:23:58,771
he's so backwards.
502
00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:02,909
>> mm.
503
00:24:02,909 --> 00:24:03,743
>> see?
504
00:24:03,743 --> 00:24:05,177
here are the jobs.
505
00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:07,079
here are their numbers.
506
00:24:07,079 --> 00:24:08,114
super-easy.
507
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:10,116
even a retard could do it.
508
00:24:10,116 --> 00:24:12,084
sorry.
509
00:24:12,084 --> 00:24:13,986
>> morning, sweetie.
510
00:24:13,986 --> 00:24:17,156
luke.
511
00:24:17,156 --> 00:24:20,627
hi, hon.
512
00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:23,496
hey, brad.
513
00:24:23,496 --> 00:24:25,131
well...
514
00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:28,000
i, uh, i best, um...
515
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,970
i best get going.
516
00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:35,007
yes.
517
00:24:35,007 --> 00:24:36,743
>> hey, luke, still in one
518
00:24:36,743 --> 00:24:37,710
piece, buddy?
519
00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:38,845
i was afraid after all that
520
00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:40,112
corruption we put you through --
521
00:24:40,112 --> 00:24:41,113
>> watch it, smart ass.
522
00:24:41,113 --> 00:24:42,949
get your shit and let's go.
523
00:24:42,949 --> 00:24:44,083
you ready, megan?
524
00:24:44,083 --> 00:24:46,018
>> no, but that's never seemed
525
00:24:46,018 --> 00:24:49,556
to matter.
526
00:24:49,556 --> 00:24:51,758
thanks for the breakfast.
527
00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:59,799
>> did -- did you cook?
528
00:24:59,799 --> 00:25:03,803
>> yes?
529
00:25:03,803 --> 00:25:08,808
>> really?
530
00:25:08,808 --> 00:25:10,643
>> i wrote up the house rules
531
00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:11,544
last night.
532
00:25:11,544 --> 00:25:12,545
they are here.
533
00:25:12,545 --> 00:25:14,180
they are simple and specific.
534
00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:16,916
i'll be back at 2:00.
535
00:25:20,953 --> 00:25:22,955
please don't burn down the
536
00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:23,723
house.
537
00:25:23,723 --> 00:25:28,060
>> no burning. okay.
538
00:25:47,647 --> 00:25:50,182
arlene.
539
00:25:50,182 --> 00:25:51,951
arlene can wait.
540
00:25:51,951 --> 00:25:53,185
i need a job.
541
00:25:53,185 --> 00:25:56,656
mm. mm.
542
00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:05,965
>> "easy jobs placement is your
543
00:26:05,965 --> 00:26:06,666
answer.
544
00:26:06,666 --> 00:26:08,034
come in for a personal
545
00:26:08,034 --> 00:26:08,868
interview.
546
00:26:08,868 --> 00:26:09,969
542 main street.
547
00:26:09,969 --> 00:26:13,339
don't wait."
548
00:26:13,339 --> 00:26:14,674
left on 5th.
549
00:26:14,674 --> 00:26:15,608
breathe.
550
00:26:15,608 --> 00:26:17,043
no running away to maggie's.
551
00:26:17,043 --> 00:26:18,077
no drinking beer.
552
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:19,045
no reading porn.
553
00:26:19,045 --> 00:26:21,180
all the rules are followed, yes.
554
00:26:21,180 --> 00:26:21,814
mm.
555
00:26:21,814 --> 00:26:22,815
walk faster.
556
00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:24,316
aunt cindy gets back at
557
00:26:24,316 --> 00:26:25,184
2:00 p.m.
558
00:26:25,184 --> 00:26:28,287
breathe again.
559
00:26:28,287 --> 00:26:30,757
next left.
560
00:26:30,757 --> 00:26:32,291
>> yeah, so, apparently i'm not
561
00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:33,392
girlfriend material.
562
00:26:33,392 --> 00:26:36,896
yeah, that's what he said.
563
00:26:36,896 --> 00:26:39,198
yeah, he told me that, and i was
564
00:26:39,198 --> 00:26:40,733
like, "i'm sorry.
565
00:26:40,733 --> 00:26:42,835
who's the one living at home
566
00:26:42,835 --> 00:26:44,971
with his mother, unemployed?"
567
00:26:46,372 --> 00:26:49,976
yeah, so, that's kind of over.
568
00:26:49,976 --> 00:26:53,680
i'm gonna call you back, okay?
569
00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:56,248
can i help you?
570
00:26:56,248 --> 00:26:57,216
>> yes. you must.
571
00:26:57,216 --> 00:26:58,785
it took me 52 minutes to get
572
00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:00,119
here, and i have to be back
573
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:00,920
before my --
574
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:02,421
>> do you have business here, or
575
00:27:02,421 --> 00:27:04,056
did somebody tip you off about
576
00:27:04,056 --> 00:27:05,692
my tits, and you thought you'd
577
00:27:05,692 --> 00:27:06,826
just come take a peek?
578
00:27:06,826 --> 00:27:07,760
>> i need a job.
579
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:08,160
>> oh.
580
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,696
well, you came to the right
581
00:27:09,696 --> 00:27:11,030
place, then, 'cause finding
582
00:27:11,030 --> 00:27:12,699
peeping-toms jobs is all we do
583
00:27:12,699 --> 00:27:13,032
here.
584
00:27:13,032 --> 00:27:14,200
>> my name is not tom.
585
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,335
it's luke.
586
00:27:16,335 --> 00:27:17,336
>> okay, luke.
587
00:27:17,336 --> 00:27:19,238
um, have a seat and fill this
588
00:27:19,238 --> 00:27:19,806
out.
589
00:27:19,806 --> 00:27:21,741
i'll call you when our next job
590
00:27:21,741 --> 00:27:22,909
counselor's ready.
591
00:27:24,210 --> 00:27:26,012
>> easy jobs. this is maria.
592
00:27:26,012 --> 00:27:27,847
uh, i'm not totally sure that
593
00:27:27,847 --> 00:27:28,881
she's in today.
594
00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:30,683
can you hold for one second?
595
00:27:30,683 --> 00:27:33,285
yeah, it'll just be one sec.
596
00:27:33,285 --> 00:27:34,854
did you forget something?
597
00:27:34,854 --> 00:27:36,322
>> maria, do you not nag and
598
00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:37,289
like to travel?
599
00:27:37,289 --> 00:27:38,991
i'm looking for a female with
600
00:27:38,991 --> 00:27:40,192
those specifications.
601
00:27:40,192 --> 00:27:41,861
>> don't you think we should
602
00:27:41,861 --> 00:27:43,462
find you a job before you start
603
00:27:43,462 --> 00:27:46,265
asking me out on dates?
604
00:27:46,265 --> 00:27:47,333
>> yes.
605
00:27:47,333 --> 00:27:49,435
one step at a time.
606
00:27:49,435 --> 00:27:51,871
first the job.
607
00:27:51,871 --> 00:27:55,041
>> right.
608
00:27:55,041 --> 00:27:56,475
uh, she's actually out of the
609
00:27:56,475 --> 00:27:57,343
office today.
610
00:27:57,343 --> 00:27:59,045
i can transfer you to her voice
611
00:27:59,045 --> 00:27:59,411
mail.
612
00:27:59,411 --> 00:28:04,116
great.
613
00:28:04,116 --> 00:28:08,154
>> "first name" -- luke.
614
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,002
>> i see you graduated from high
615
00:28:23,002 --> 00:28:24,036
school last year.
616
00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,471
may i ask what took so long?
617
00:28:25,471 --> 00:28:29,175
>> yes, you may.
618
00:28:29,175 --> 00:28:30,142
>> what took so long?
619
00:28:30,142 --> 00:28:31,277
>> grandma maggie said that
620
00:28:31,277 --> 00:28:32,511
there was no rush and i should
621
00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:33,846
go at my own special pace.
622
00:28:33,846 --> 00:28:34,914
she also got sick and had
623
00:28:34,914 --> 00:28:36,182
trouble teaching me biology and
624
00:28:36,182 --> 00:28:36,749
algebra.
625
00:28:36,749 --> 00:28:38,184
i didn't have that much trouble,
626
00:28:38,184 --> 00:28:38,851
just her.
627
00:28:38,851 --> 00:28:40,152
i got a class ring that says
628
00:28:40,152 --> 00:28:41,821
"hope high," but the school that
629
00:28:41,821 --> 00:28:43,055
actually sent the test was
630
00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:44,390
called adult learning center.
631
00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:45,024
>> luke.
632
00:28:45,024 --> 00:28:46,959
i don't think i can help you.
633
00:28:46,959 --> 00:28:48,961
you see, you've got no previous
634
00:28:48,961 --> 00:28:50,897
experience, no references, no
635
00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:52,865
higher education or vocational
636
00:28:52,865 --> 00:28:54,901
training, no computer skills or
637
00:28:54,901 --> 00:28:57,136
languages.
638
00:28:57,136 --> 00:28:59,438
do you understand?
639
00:28:59,438 --> 00:29:00,339
>> i can cook.
640
00:29:00,339 --> 00:29:02,041
grandma maggie taught me 23 of
641
00:29:02,041 --> 00:29:03,475
her favorite dinner entrées,
642
00:29:03,475 --> 00:29:04,777
including breakfast.
643
00:29:04,777 --> 00:29:05,778
no desserts yet.
644
00:29:05,778 --> 00:29:06,178
and --
645
00:29:06,178 --> 00:29:10,149
>> okay. okay.
646
00:29:10,149 --> 00:29:13,019
look...
647
00:29:13,019 --> 00:29:16,222
i know a guy you should meet.
648
00:29:22,061 --> 00:29:23,129
>> oh, late.
649
00:29:23,129 --> 00:29:24,163
almost late.
650
00:29:25,431 --> 00:29:29,568
i'm gonna get it.
651
00:29:29,568 --> 00:29:32,471
2:00 p.m.
652
00:29:32,471 --> 00:29:34,874
2:00 p.m.
653
00:29:34,874 --> 00:29:37,844
luke, five blocks, two minutes.
654
00:29:37,844 --> 00:29:39,278
you can do it.
655
00:29:49,188 --> 00:29:50,389
>> let me guess.
656
00:29:50,389 --> 00:29:52,158
you're luke, aren't you?
657
00:29:52,158 --> 00:29:52,925
>> yes.
658
00:29:52,925 --> 00:29:54,460
>> we've been looking around for
659
00:29:54,460 --> 00:29:54,994
you.
660
00:29:54,994 --> 00:29:56,095
where you been, son?
661
00:29:56,095 --> 00:29:57,864
>> easy jobs in downtown.
662
00:29:57,864 --> 00:29:59,398
i'm going to get a job at
663
00:29:59,398 --> 00:30:01,300
smiles, but i didn't go there
664
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:03,335
yet because aunt cindy gets back
665
00:30:03,335 --> 00:30:04,303
at 2:00 p.m.
666
00:30:04,303 --> 00:30:06,238
>> i think she got home early,
667
00:30:06,238 --> 00:30:08,875
luke.
668
00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:11,543
>> we have a big problem.
669
00:30:11,543 --> 00:30:13,212
>> whatever.
670
00:30:13,212 --> 00:30:14,080
come on.
671
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,182
get in the car, and i'll give
672
00:30:16,182 --> 00:30:17,449
you a ride home.
673
00:30:17,449 --> 00:30:19,886
luke. come on. get in the car.
674
00:30:29,028 --> 00:30:29,962
>> "smiles.
675
00:30:29,962 --> 00:30:31,931
independent living and support
676
00:30:31,931 --> 00:30:33,499
of employment for special
677
00:30:33,499 --> 00:30:34,266
people."
678
00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:37,269
>> what could possibly be going
679
00:30:37,269 --> 00:30:39,138
on in that underdeveloped mind
680
00:30:39,138 --> 00:30:39,972
of yours?!
681
00:30:39,972 --> 00:30:42,508
you thought you were finding a
682
00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:43,309
job?!
683
00:30:43,309 --> 00:30:45,577
taking buses around town?!
684
00:30:45,577 --> 00:30:49,882
god!
685
00:30:49,882 --> 00:30:54,153
luke!
686
00:30:55,888 --> 00:30:59,091
luke, where are you?
687
00:30:59,091 --> 00:31:01,160
>> i'm right here.
688
00:31:06,432 --> 00:31:09,001
>> was i not clear in my
689
00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:11,403
instructions?
690
00:31:15,441 --> 00:31:17,576
>> back at 2:00 p.m.
691
00:31:17,576 --> 00:31:19,678
that's what it said.
692
00:31:19,678 --> 00:31:22,481
>> my manicurist canceled.
693
00:31:22,481 --> 00:31:24,350
can i not come home whenever i
694
00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:25,284
feel like it?
695
00:31:25,284 --> 00:31:26,919
>> i followed all of the
696
00:31:26,919 --> 00:31:28,320
instructions that you --
697
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,189
>> no, no, no, you didn't, and
698
00:31:30,189 --> 00:31:31,090
you know it.
699
00:31:31,090 --> 00:31:33,025
god, what am i supposed to do?
700
00:31:33,025 --> 00:31:34,693
am i supposed to lock you up?
701
00:31:34,693 --> 00:31:36,695
i mean, is that what maggie did?
702
00:31:36,695 --> 00:31:38,464
did she lock you up so you
703
00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:40,399
didn't run around doing stupid
704
00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:41,033
shit?
705
00:31:41,033 --> 00:31:41,500
>> no!
706
00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:43,202
grandma would never lock the
707
00:31:43,202 --> 00:31:43,602
door!
708
00:31:43,602 --> 00:31:44,103
no!
709
00:31:44,103 --> 00:31:45,004
that's a lie!
710
00:31:45,004 --> 00:31:46,038
that's bad! bad!
711
00:31:46,038 --> 00:31:47,106
grandma was good.
712
00:31:47,106 --> 00:31:52,611
no screaming.
713
00:32:06,292 --> 00:32:09,528
hey, um, luke?
714
00:32:09,528 --> 00:32:11,463
i didn't mean it like that,
715
00:32:11,463 --> 00:32:12,164
okay?
716
00:32:12,164 --> 00:32:14,566
>> i wasn't doing stupid shit.
717
00:32:14,566 --> 00:32:17,436
i'm a grown boy -- a man.
718
00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:21,673
i wanted to get a job at smiles.
719
00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:23,976
if i have a job, i can live by
720
00:32:23,976 --> 00:32:24,543
myself.
721
00:32:24,543 --> 00:32:26,512
i won't need proper care, a
722
00:32:26,512 --> 00:32:29,181
residential facility.
723
00:32:29,181 --> 00:32:31,717
i don't want someone screaming.
724
00:32:31,717 --> 00:32:36,588
screaming is bad.
725
00:32:36,588 --> 00:32:38,624
i promised maria i would visit
726
00:32:38,624 --> 00:32:40,126
when i have a job.
727
00:32:40,126 --> 00:32:43,162
i want to see her breasts again.
728
00:32:51,337 --> 00:32:54,340
>> aunt cindy, is this an
729
00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:55,741
emergency?
730
00:33:00,346 --> 00:33:03,049
mm, maybe, honey.
731
00:33:03,049 --> 00:33:05,251
>> shall i call uncle paul on
732
00:33:05,251 --> 00:33:06,318
his mobile?
733
00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:07,319
>> no, no.
734
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:10,522
let's, um...
735
00:33:10,522 --> 00:33:12,758
let's just wait a minute.
736
00:33:25,037 --> 00:33:28,140
come here.
737
00:33:28,140 --> 00:33:30,342
and don't tell me you don't
738
00:33:30,376 --> 00:33:34,380
drink.
739
00:33:34,380 --> 00:33:36,582
luke, i won't hurt you.
740
00:33:36,582 --> 00:33:38,250
or scream.
741
00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:41,053
i promise.
742
00:33:41,053 --> 00:33:42,621
okay.
743
00:33:42,654 --> 00:33:49,061
sit!
744
00:33:49,061 --> 00:33:54,700
drink.
745
00:33:57,103 --> 00:33:58,637
>> do you think i'm a bitch?
746
00:33:58,637 --> 00:34:00,472
the manicurist canceled on me
747
00:34:00,472 --> 00:34:02,308
today because she said i was a
748
00:34:02,308 --> 00:34:04,243
bitch, and she didn't want to do
749
00:34:04,243 --> 00:34:05,411
my nails, "no mo'."
750
00:34:05,411 --> 00:34:07,279
and now officer smart-ass tells
751
00:34:07,279 --> 00:34:09,148
me i have to chill out and give
752
00:34:09,148 --> 00:34:10,149
you some space.
753
00:34:10,149 --> 00:34:11,517
does everyone think i'm a bitch?
754
00:34:11,517 --> 00:34:12,784
>> brad said you were a total
755
00:34:12,784 --> 00:34:13,319
bitch.
756
00:34:13,319 --> 00:34:14,620
megan says you're a psycho b--
757
00:34:14,620 --> 00:34:20,492
>> okay, thank you. thank you.
758
00:34:20,492 --> 00:34:24,530
i think i'm a bitch, too.
759
00:34:24,530 --> 00:34:28,300
>> i scream sometimes.
760
00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:31,270
i shouldn't, but i do.
761
00:34:33,772 --> 00:34:37,343
breathing helps. and pancakes.
762
00:34:40,412 --> 00:34:42,648
i love pancakes.
763
00:34:48,554 --> 00:34:50,222
give me that piece of paper
764
00:34:50,222 --> 00:34:51,157
you're hiding.
765
00:34:51,157 --> 00:34:53,759
don't think i didn't see it.
766
00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:55,727
come on.
767
00:35:01,900 --> 00:35:03,269
smiles.
768
00:35:03,269 --> 00:35:05,837
what a wonderful name.
769
00:35:05,837 --> 00:35:08,340
>> yes.
770
00:35:08,340 --> 00:35:09,808
>> i don't pretend to
771
00:35:09,808 --> 00:35:12,244
understand you, but it's good to
772
00:35:12,244 --> 00:35:13,279
have dreams.
773
00:35:13,279 --> 00:35:15,347
do you want me to take you to
774
00:35:15,347 --> 00:35:16,682
this smiles place?
775
00:35:16,682 --> 00:35:18,350
>> that would be very
776
00:35:18,350 --> 00:35:22,154
acceptable.
777
00:35:22,154 --> 00:35:26,492
>> luke...
778
00:35:26,492 --> 00:35:29,361
um, you don't need to leave.
779
00:35:29,361 --> 00:35:32,498
not yet, at least, and the thing
780
00:35:32,498 --> 00:35:35,501
is i don't want you mentioning
781
00:35:35,501 --> 00:35:37,536
any of this to your
782
00:35:37,536 --> 00:35:40,506
uncle paul -- any of it, really.
783
00:35:40,506 --> 00:35:41,640
he's getting tired of me.
784
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:42,808
he hasn't touched me since,
785
00:35:42,808 --> 00:35:48,480
um...
786
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,582
i just...
787
00:35:50,582 --> 00:35:52,784
i don't think i could handle a
788
00:35:52,784 --> 00:35:58,290
divorce.
789
00:35:59,691 --> 00:36:03,595
do you understand?
790
00:36:03,595 --> 00:36:06,365
>> okay.
791
00:36:06,365 --> 00:36:08,300
>> okay.
792
00:36:13,805 --> 00:36:15,341
yeah.
793
00:36:15,341 --> 00:36:19,678
we should talk more often.
794
00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:21,413
>> mr. nichols?
795
00:36:21,413 --> 00:36:22,781
luke is here.
796
00:36:22,781 --> 00:36:23,915
>> lucas!
797
00:36:26,585 --> 00:36:27,719
>> my name is luke.
798
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:28,354
>> ah.
799
00:36:28,354 --> 00:36:29,888
chloe tells us that bobby sent
800
00:36:29,888 --> 00:36:30,689
you to us.
801
00:36:30,689 --> 00:36:31,623
is that right?
802
00:36:31,623 --> 00:36:33,459
>> yes, bobby said you could get
803
00:36:33,459 --> 00:36:33,992
me a job.
804
00:36:33,992 --> 00:36:35,861
i can't live by myself yet.
805
00:36:35,861 --> 00:36:37,263
i have to wait until
806
00:36:37,263 --> 00:36:38,930
aunt cindy says that uncle paul
807
00:36:38,930 --> 00:36:42,401
has touched her.
808
00:36:42,401 --> 00:36:44,370
>> uh, we'll come back to this
809
00:36:44,370 --> 00:36:44,836
later.
810
00:36:44,836 --> 00:36:46,772
i see you were home-schooled.
811
00:36:46,772 --> 00:36:47,806
is that right?
812
00:36:47,806 --> 00:36:48,540
>> yes.
813
00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:50,309
my grandma took me out of the
814
00:36:50,309 --> 00:36:52,010
special school because they were
815
00:36:52,010 --> 00:36:53,679
treating me like an idiot.
816
00:36:53,679 --> 00:36:55,481
>> lucas, all this is amazing.
817
00:36:55,481 --> 00:36:58,016
do you have any special skills
818
00:36:58,016 --> 00:37:00,018
we should know about?
819
00:37:00,018 --> 00:37:02,388
for example, uh, can you
820
00:37:02,388 --> 00:37:04,923
multiply big numbers, like 999
821
00:37:04,923 --> 00:37:05,857
by 999?
822
00:37:05,857 --> 00:37:08,794
or memorize entire books?
823
00:37:08,794 --> 00:37:11,297
>> i can cook breakfast and 23
824
00:37:11,297 --> 00:37:13,332
different dinner entrées.
825
00:37:13,332 --> 00:37:14,666
no desserts yet.
826
00:37:14,666 --> 00:37:16,268
>> yes, yes, yes.
827
00:37:16,268 --> 00:37:17,269
of course.
828
00:37:17,269 --> 00:37:18,670
uh, that's great.
829
00:37:18,670 --> 00:37:19,838
that's great.
830
00:37:19,838 --> 00:37:21,807
and now you, uh -- you want a
831
00:37:21,807 --> 00:37:23,342
job, is that right?
832
00:37:23,342 --> 00:37:23,909
>> yes.
833
00:37:23,909 --> 00:37:25,977
i've told you that three times
834
00:37:25,977 --> 00:37:26,612
now.
835
00:37:26,612 --> 00:37:28,780
and i told chloe that 33 minutes
836
00:37:28,780 --> 00:37:29,415
ago.
837
00:37:29,415 --> 00:37:31,317
i want to be independent and
838
00:37:31,317 --> 00:37:32,518
live my own life.
839
00:37:32,518 --> 00:37:34,520
i need a job urgently so i can
840
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:37,022
ask maria out on a date.
841
00:38:09,388 --> 00:38:10,822
>> since when do you cook soup,
842
00:38:10,822 --> 00:38:11,357
mom?
843
00:38:11,357 --> 00:38:12,691
>> luke cooked it, didn't he?
844
00:38:12,691 --> 00:38:13,992
>> no, luke didn't cook it.
845
00:38:13,992 --> 00:38:15,661
>> either luke cooked it, or you
846
00:38:15,661 --> 00:38:17,363
forced the cleaning lady to cook
847
00:38:17,363 --> 00:38:17,729
again.
848
00:38:17,729 --> 00:38:18,964
>> yeah, don't lie to us.
849
00:38:18,964 --> 00:38:19,898
we're not dumb.
850
00:38:19,898 --> 00:38:21,633
>> this is actually pretty good.
851
00:38:21,633 --> 00:38:22,834
you really cooked this?
852
00:38:22,834 --> 00:38:24,503
>> luke, would you please tell
853
00:38:24,503 --> 00:38:26,037
my loving family who cooked this
854
00:38:26,037 --> 00:38:26,972
delicious meal?
855
00:38:26,972 --> 00:38:28,640
>> aunt cindy cooked the soup.
856
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,376
it's from season 3, episode 9 --
857
00:38:30,376 --> 00:38:31,810
"mediterranean masterpieces."
858
00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:32,944
i can cook it better.
859
00:38:32,944 --> 00:38:34,079
it has too much salt.
860
00:38:34,079 --> 00:38:36,114
>> thank you. thank you.
861
00:38:36,114 --> 00:38:37,616
>> i knew you cooked it.
862
00:38:37,616 --> 00:38:38,684
i was just, uh --
863
00:38:38,684 --> 00:38:39,651
>> oh, shut up.
864
00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:42,654
>> so, luke, you find a
865
00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:43,755
girlfriend yet?
866
00:38:43,755 --> 00:38:45,557
>> that's not funny, brad.
867
00:38:45,557 --> 00:38:47,025
he's been home all day.
868
00:38:47,025 --> 00:38:48,460
>> i found a girl.
869
00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:49,060
>> what?
870
00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:51,663
>> you did?
871
00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:52,130
he did?
872
00:38:52,130 --> 00:38:53,865
>> i was meaning to tell you,
873
00:38:53,865 --> 00:38:54,466
paul.
874
00:38:54,466 --> 00:38:55,667
>> her name is maria.
875
00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:57,403
>> what the heck is going on?
876
00:38:57,403 --> 00:38:58,904
>> luke is gonna train for a
877
00:38:58,904 --> 00:38:59,471
job.
878
00:38:59,471 --> 00:39:01,072
>> from the classifieds, like i
879
00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:01,840
told you?
880
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,675
>> wait, you're the one who told
881
00:39:03,675 --> 00:39:04,743
him to get a job?
882
00:39:04,743 --> 00:39:05,711
>> doing what?
883
00:39:05,711 --> 00:39:07,479
and -- and how is he getting
884
00:39:07,479 --> 00:39:07,979
around?
885
00:39:07,979 --> 00:39:09,114
>> i took the bus.
886
00:39:09,114 --> 00:39:10,582
i followed the rules.
887
00:39:10,582 --> 00:39:11,149
>> honey.
888
00:39:11,149 --> 00:39:12,751
where were you in all of this?
889
00:39:12,751 --> 00:39:13,752
getting a manicure?
890
00:39:13,752 --> 00:39:15,053
>> i already dealt with it,
891
00:39:15,053 --> 00:39:15,587
paul.
892
00:39:15,587 --> 00:39:17,055
>> wait, wait, does she have big
893
00:39:17,055 --> 00:39:17,589
tits?
894
00:39:17,589 --> 00:39:18,424
>> both: brad!
895
00:39:18,424 --> 00:39:19,858
>> what? it's a valid question.
896
00:39:19,858 --> 00:39:21,393
>> maria has very acceptable
897
00:39:21,393 --> 00:39:21,827
breasts.
898
00:39:21,827 --> 00:39:23,094
>> cousin luke, i hope you
899
00:39:23,094 --> 00:39:24,763
didn't find this maria from the
900
00:39:24,763 --> 00:39:25,564
classifieds.
901
00:39:25,564 --> 00:39:26,665
girls who post in the
902
00:39:26,665 --> 00:39:28,133
classifieds usually want money.
903
00:39:28,133 --> 00:39:29,768
>> okay, that's -- that's quite
904
00:39:29,768 --> 00:39:30,669
enough of that.
905
00:39:30,669 --> 00:39:31,937
>> maria's not a slut like
906
00:39:31,937 --> 00:39:32,638
charlene.
907
00:39:32,638 --> 00:39:34,406
i will ask her out on a date as
908
00:39:34,406 --> 00:39:35,874
soon as i have a real paying
909
00:39:35,874 --> 00:39:36,408
job.
910
00:39:36,408 --> 00:39:37,909
aunt cindy, could i have some
911
00:39:37,909 --> 00:39:42,681
more soup, please?
912
00:39:42,681 --> 00:39:46,485
>> it's my pleasure, luke.
913
00:39:46,485 --> 00:39:48,754
>> i still don't believe you.
914
00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:56,962
>> want me to go in there with
915
00:39:56,962 --> 00:39:57,596
you?
916
00:39:57,596 --> 00:39:59,765
>> mm, that won't be necessary.
917
00:39:59,765 --> 00:40:01,967
>> you sure you want to do this,
918
00:40:01,967 --> 00:40:04,670
luke?
919
00:40:04,670 --> 00:40:05,904
>> yes.
920
00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:08,139
i need a job.
921
00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:09,808
>> oh, you keep saying that, but
922
00:40:09,808 --> 00:40:10,676
i don't get it.
923
00:40:10,676 --> 00:40:12,043
you never wanted a job before,
924
00:40:12,043 --> 00:40:13,512
when you were with maggie.
925
00:40:13,512 --> 00:40:14,813
why do you suddenly want one
926
00:40:14,813 --> 00:40:15,113
now?
927
00:40:15,113 --> 00:40:16,782
>> uncle paul, it is good that i
928
00:40:16,782 --> 00:40:20,118
have dreams.
929
00:40:20,118 --> 00:40:23,188
>> yeah, i guess, but, uh...
930
00:40:26,658 --> 00:40:31,029
i had dreams once.
931
00:40:31,029 --> 00:40:35,133
seems like a lifetime ago.
932
00:40:36,968 --> 00:40:40,939
now it's just... i don't know
933
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:43,241
what it is.
934
00:40:43,241 --> 00:40:46,712
i know i wake up in the morning,
935
00:40:46,712 --> 00:40:51,049
shower, get dressed, go to work,
936
00:40:51,049 --> 00:40:55,186
work, eat, work some more, come
937
00:40:55,186 --> 00:41:00,792
home, eat, get undressed, go to
938
00:41:00,792 --> 00:41:03,595
sleep.
939
00:41:03,595 --> 00:41:04,763
then i wake up in the morning,
940
00:41:04,763 --> 00:41:05,964
and i start the whole thing all
941
00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:06,598
over again.
942
00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:09,000
i don't know what's wrong with
943
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:09,535
me.
944
00:41:09,535 --> 00:41:10,936
>> you're not a very good
945
00:41:10,936 --> 00:41:12,804
listener, but that's all right.
946
00:41:12,804 --> 00:41:14,940
i'll cook you something nice for
947
00:41:14,940 --> 00:41:16,074
dinner tonight.
948
00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:18,176
that'll make everything better.
949
00:41:18,176 --> 00:41:22,247
>> thank you, luke.
950
00:41:22,247 --> 00:41:23,849
>> uncle paul.
951
00:41:23,849 --> 00:41:24,750
>> oh.
952
00:41:30,822 --> 00:41:34,726
hey, luke.
953
00:41:34,726 --> 00:41:37,062
good luck.
954
00:42:01,019 --> 00:42:03,622
>> 59 minutes late.
955
00:42:03,622 --> 00:42:06,257
not good. not nice.
956
00:42:18,570 --> 00:42:22,741
>> let me guess. you're luke.
957
00:42:22,741 --> 00:42:23,775
do you talk?
958
00:42:23,775 --> 00:42:25,711
>> yes, i speak very well.
959
00:42:25,711 --> 00:42:27,045
>> that's a shame.
960
00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:29,147
i got along very well with the
961
00:42:29,147 --> 00:42:30,982
last retard from smiles.
962
00:42:30,982 --> 00:42:32,317
he didn't say a single word.
963
00:42:32,317 --> 00:42:33,184
it was heaven.
964
00:42:33,184 --> 00:42:34,886
>> i am not retarded, and people
965
00:42:34,886 --> 00:42:36,054
who call me that are --
966
00:42:36,054 --> 00:42:36,955
>> i know that!
967
00:42:36,955 --> 00:42:38,256
and if you didn't have a paper
968
00:42:38,256 --> 00:42:39,591
bag over your head, you'd
969
00:42:39,591 --> 00:42:40,859
realize i was using irony and
970
00:42:40,859 --> 00:42:42,694
figures of speech!
971
00:42:42,694 --> 00:42:43,929
but you probably thought i meant
972
00:42:43,929 --> 00:42:45,063
"paper bag" literally, didn't
973
00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:46,998
you?
974
00:42:46,998 --> 00:42:49,735
you can relax.
975
00:42:49,735 --> 00:42:51,336
you'll find your countless
976
00:42:51,336 --> 00:42:53,605
limitations are all known to me.
977
00:42:53,605 --> 00:42:57,275
i have very low expectations.
978
00:42:57,275 --> 00:42:58,777
>> i am very smart.
979
00:42:58,777 --> 00:43:00,912
and i'm here to train for a job.
980
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:03,281
where's my smiles trainer who
981
00:43:03,281 --> 00:43:05,283
will test my abilities?
982
00:43:05,283 --> 00:43:07,753
>> none of the smiles trainers
983
00:43:07,753 --> 00:43:09,154
come here anymore.
984
00:43:09,154 --> 00:43:11,957
you're all alone, and if you
985
00:43:11,957 --> 00:43:13,859
haven't figured it out yet, i'm
986
00:43:13,859 --> 00:43:14,960
your supervisor.
987
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:16,394
my name is zack -- never
988
00:43:16,394 --> 00:43:17,128
zachary.
989
00:43:17,128 --> 00:43:19,397
i run the i.t. department.
990
00:43:19,397 --> 00:43:23,869
and i own your ass!
991
00:43:23,869 --> 00:43:25,203
don't even think about shaking
992
00:43:25,203 --> 00:43:25,837
my hand!
993
00:43:25,837 --> 00:43:28,106
to the dungeon, half-wit!
994
00:43:34,713 --> 00:43:35,781
you're sharp, luke.
995
00:43:35,781 --> 00:43:37,248
i've had many smiles kids just
996
00:43:37,248 --> 00:43:38,917
stand there all morning after i
997
00:43:38,917 --> 00:43:39,685
said that.
998
00:43:39,685 --> 00:43:41,152
you should try using figures of
999
00:43:41,152 --> 00:43:42,721
speech and irony as much as
1000
00:43:42,721 --> 00:43:43,221
possible.
1001
00:43:43,221 --> 00:43:44,856
they're necessary if you're to
1002
00:43:44,856 --> 00:43:45,924
live in this world.
1003
00:43:45,924 --> 00:43:46,958
humanity is evil.
1004
00:43:46,958 --> 00:43:50,862
>> okay.
1005
00:43:50,862 --> 00:43:52,130
>> do you know what i do when
1006
00:43:52,130 --> 00:43:53,364
the people noise gets so bad
1007
00:43:53,364 --> 00:43:54,399
that i want to scream?
1008
00:43:54,399 --> 00:43:55,867
>> no. how would i know that?
1009
00:43:55,867 --> 00:43:57,803
>> stop being such a
1010
00:43:57,803 --> 00:44:02,007
noise-maker, you human!
1011
00:44:12,818 --> 00:44:14,853
what i did back there was not
1012
00:44:14,853 --> 00:44:15,854
appropriate.
1013
00:44:15,854 --> 00:44:17,956
it showed lack of self-control
1014
00:44:17,956 --> 00:44:19,257
and poor judgment.
1015
00:44:19,257 --> 00:44:20,458
you don't ever do it,
1016
00:44:20,458 --> 00:44:21,259
understand?
1017
00:44:21,259 --> 00:44:21,927
>> yes.
1018
00:44:21,927 --> 00:44:23,461
screaming is very bad, i know.
1019
00:44:23,461 --> 00:44:25,163
>> the only reason i got away
1020
00:44:25,163 --> 00:44:26,832
with it is because my father
1021
00:44:26,832 --> 00:44:27,933
owns this company.
1022
00:44:27,933 --> 00:44:29,735
if you were to do something like
1023
00:44:29,735 --> 00:44:31,369
that, you would be escorted from
1024
00:44:31,369 --> 00:44:32,904
the building by security.
1025
00:44:32,904 --> 00:44:34,740
it's happened before.
1026
00:44:34,740 --> 00:44:37,042
>> i should start my training
1027
00:44:37,042 --> 00:44:38,043
now, yes.
1028
00:44:38,043 --> 00:44:39,177
>> training.
1029
00:44:39,177 --> 00:44:45,316
aaaaaaaaaah!
1030
00:44:45,316 --> 00:44:46,785
my father had the walls
1031
00:44:46,785 --> 00:44:47,485
soundproofed.
1032
00:44:47,485 --> 00:44:48,754
>> i am breathing.
1033
00:44:48,754 --> 00:44:50,188
>> i'm glad you show some
1034
00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:51,422
higher function, luke.
1035
00:44:51,422 --> 00:44:53,191
unfortunately, the tasks you'll
1036
00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:54,893
be performing are worthy of a
1037
00:44:54,893 --> 00:44:55,961
preschool diploma.
1038
00:44:55,961 --> 00:44:57,428
you'll be sorting and delivering
1039
00:44:57,428 --> 00:44:59,030
snail mail, filing thousands of
1040
00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:00,398
bullshit customer reports, and
1041
00:45:00,398 --> 00:45:01,466
making coffee, if the
1042
00:45:01,466 --> 00:45:03,134
secretaries don't think you're a
1043
00:45:03,134 --> 00:45:03,969
health hazard.
1044
00:45:03,969 --> 00:45:05,336
so don't let them catch you
1045
00:45:05,336 --> 00:45:07,038
picking your nose or drooling.
1046
00:45:07,038 --> 00:45:08,439
>> i make good coffee and 23
1047
00:45:08,439 --> 00:45:09,941
different dinner entrées,
1048
00:45:09,941 --> 00:45:11,109
including breakfast --
1049
00:45:11,109 --> 00:45:11,777
>> wow!
1050
00:45:11,777 --> 00:45:13,144
you're a regular housewife.
1051
00:45:13,144 --> 00:45:14,179
let's get married.
1052
00:45:14,179 --> 00:45:15,013
i don't care!
1053
00:45:15,013 --> 00:45:16,447
and i don't want to talk to you
1054
00:45:16,447 --> 00:45:17,115
anymore.
1055
00:45:17,115 --> 00:45:18,216
get your ass to work!
1056
00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:19,484
>> i have not yet received
1057
00:45:19,484 --> 00:45:21,052
proper instruction on how to
1058
00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:22,387
sort and deliver snail mail,
1059
00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:24,089
file bullshit reports, and where
1060
00:45:24,089 --> 00:45:25,490
is the coffee machine located?
1061
00:45:25,490 --> 00:45:27,192
>> do i look like i'm about to
1062
00:45:27,192 --> 00:45:27,993
be helpful?
1063
00:45:27,993 --> 00:45:31,162
>> mm, no.
1064
00:45:31,162 --> 00:45:35,233
>> get out of here!
1065
00:46:04,796 --> 00:46:06,164
>> ah, you must be the new
1066
00:46:06,164 --> 00:46:06,564
idiot.
1067
00:46:06,564 --> 00:46:08,233
you better hurry up with that
1068
00:46:08,233 --> 00:46:08,800
mail.
1069
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:09,434
>> i'm luke.
1070
00:46:09,434 --> 00:46:10,836
i'm not the new idiot.
1071
00:46:10,836 --> 00:46:12,337
>> did zack send you down here
1072
00:46:12,337 --> 00:46:13,171
by yourself?
1073
00:46:13,171 --> 00:46:14,439
he just thinks everything
1074
00:46:14,439 --> 00:46:16,074
revolves around his dark little
1075
00:46:16,074 --> 00:46:16,474
world.
1076
00:46:16,474 --> 00:46:18,176
you kids need adult supervision.
1077
00:46:18,176 --> 00:46:19,878
>> i'm not a kid, and i have not
1078
00:46:19,878 --> 00:46:21,179
been trained in the proper
1079
00:46:21,179 --> 00:46:22,480
procedure to sort the snail
1080
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:23,048
mail.
1081
00:46:23,048 --> 00:46:24,249
this is not acceptable.
1082
00:46:24,249 --> 00:46:25,516
>> okay, listen carefully,
1083
00:46:25,516 --> 00:46:27,118
because i don't repeat myself
1084
00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:27,886
for anyone.
1085
00:46:27,886 --> 00:46:29,187
you pick up the mail, you see
1086
00:46:29,187 --> 00:46:30,488
who it's addressed to, and you
1087
00:46:30,488 --> 00:46:32,090
put it in the corresponding bin.
1088
00:46:32,090 --> 00:46:33,524
the department chart is directly
1089
00:46:33,524 --> 00:46:34,425
across from you.
1090
00:46:34,425 --> 00:46:35,961
the red cart goes to the south
1091
00:46:35,961 --> 00:46:36,294
wing.
1092
00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:37,896
the blue cart goes to the north
1093
00:46:37,896 --> 00:46:39,264
wing, and then you walk around
1094
00:46:39,264 --> 00:46:40,531
and you look at the names on
1095
00:46:40,531 --> 00:46:42,033
people's desks and give them
1096
00:46:42,033 --> 00:46:44,169
their goddamn mail!
1097
00:47:59,677 --> 00:48:01,079
>> you want to know what to do
1098
00:48:01,079 --> 00:48:02,180
with all the mail everybody
1099
00:48:02,180 --> 00:48:02,981
keeps giving you.
1100
00:48:02,981 --> 00:48:03,314
>> yes.
1101
00:48:03,314 --> 00:48:04,449
>> and you don't want to ask
1102
00:48:04,449 --> 00:48:05,616
angry betsy by the mail room.
1103
00:48:05,616 --> 00:48:06,151
>> yes.
1104
00:48:06,151 --> 00:48:07,185
>> so you come to me for
1105
00:48:07,185 --> 00:48:07,552
answers.
1106
00:48:07,552 --> 00:48:08,086
>> yes.
1107
00:48:08,086 --> 00:48:09,454
you are my supervisor.
1108
00:48:09,454 --> 00:48:10,521
you own my ass.
1109
00:48:10,521 --> 00:48:12,290
>> i see you took the mail.
1110
00:48:12,290 --> 00:48:13,658
that shows initiative.
1111
00:48:13,658 --> 00:48:15,126
i had this smiles girl once who
1112
00:48:15,126 --> 00:48:16,294
started hitting people that
1113
00:48:16,294 --> 00:48:17,595
tried to give her packages, and
1114
00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:19,064
then another kid who took them,
1115
00:48:19,064 --> 00:48:20,198
but then threw them in the
1116
00:48:20,198 --> 00:48:22,033
trash.
1117
00:48:22,033 --> 00:48:23,201
i guess i'd concede i'm not the
1118
00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:24,135
best supervisor, but --
1119
00:48:24,135 --> 00:48:25,170
>> you talk too much, zack!
1120
00:48:25,170 --> 00:48:26,271
i still have the blue cart to
1121
00:48:26,271 --> 00:48:27,305
deliver, and at my current
1122
00:48:27,305 --> 00:48:28,339
speed, it will take me all
1123
00:48:28,339 --> 00:48:29,140
morning to finish.
1124
00:48:29,140 --> 00:48:30,308
and what about the bullshit
1125
00:48:30,308 --> 00:48:31,209
reports and coffee?
1126
00:48:31,209 --> 00:48:32,277
i need to know about the
1127
00:48:32,277 --> 00:48:33,178
packages urgently.
1128
00:48:33,178 --> 00:48:34,445
i can only stay until 1:00 p.m.
1129
00:48:34,445 --> 00:48:35,680
since i'm not a paid employee.
1130
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:39,951
don't scream, please.
1131
00:48:39,951 --> 00:48:41,052
>> you can leave all the
1132
00:48:41,052 --> 00:48:42,320
outgoing mail in the white bag
1133
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:43,654
by the postage meter in the mail
1134
00:48:43,654 --> 00:48:44,189
room.
1135
00:48:44,189 --> 00:48:45,490
you're not qualified to operate
1136
00:48:45,490 --> 00:48:47,592
machinery.
1137
00:48:47,592 --> 00:48:49,660
>> thank you.
1138
00:48:54,199 --> 00:48:55,733
>> what are you doing here?
1139
00:48:55,733 --> 00:48:57,702
>> trying to leave, but i can't.
1140
00:48:57,702 --> 00:48:59,604
>> i mean what are you doing at
1141
00:48:59,604 --> 00:49:01,439
this stupid company, training
1142
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:04,342
for this stupid job?
1143
00:49:04,342 --> 00:49:06,644
do you know what's your purpose
1144
00:49:06,644 --> 00:49:08,980
to society?
1145
00:49:08,980 --> 00:49:11,249
do you know why you're alive,
1146
00:49:11,249 --> 00:49:16,521
luke?
1147
00:49:16,521 --> 00:49:18,723
i'll tell you what's your
1148
00:49:18,723 --> 00:49:19,724
purpose.
1149
00:49:19,724 --> 00:49:22,493
you're here to make people feel
1150
00:49:22,493 --> 00:49:25,463
sorry for you.
1151
00:49:25,463 --> 00:49:27,632
you're here to remind people
1152
00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:29,767
what a sad world we live in
1153
00:49:29,767 --> 00:49:32,237
where somebody like you can be
1154
00:49:32,237 --> 00:49:34,705
born.
1155
00:49:34,705 --> 00:49:37,175
you're here as a living,
1156
00:49:37,175 --> 00:49:40,011
breathing, stinking example of
1157
00:49:40,011 --> 00:49:42,447
everything they don't want for
1158
00:49:42,447 --> 00:49:45,383
themselves.
1159
00:49:45,383 --> 00:49:47,385
and no amount of rushing to
1160
00:49:47,385 --> 00:49:49,420
finish your chores is gonna
1161
00:49:49,420 --> 00:49:58,329
change that or make it better.
1162
00:50:01,732 --> 00:50:06,304
>> no.
1163
00:50:06,304 --> 00:50:07,605
>> did you say "no"?
1164
00:50:07,605 --> 00:50:09,440
>> i'm here to train for a job
1165
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,176
so i can ask maria out on a
1166
00:50:11,176 --> 00:50:11,609
date.
1167
00:50:11,609 --> 00:50:13,311
and uncle paul doesn't know it
1168
00:50:13,311 --> 00:50:14,745
yet, but someday i'm going to
1169
00:50:14,745 --> 00:50:19,016
live by myself... and screw, yes.
1170
00:50:36,301 --> 00:50:39,237
>> go straight home, luke.
1171
00:50:39,237 --> 00:50:42,507
please.
1172
00:50:49,214 --> 00:50:49,680
>> hey.
1173
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,416
most guys would have waited at
1174
00:50:51,416 --> 00:50:53,084
least a week before making a
1175
00:50:53,084 --> 00:50:54,152
second appearance.
1176
00:50:54,152 --> 00:50:55,620
>> maria, i'm in training at
1177
00:50:55,620 --> 00:50:56,421
click&easy.
1178
00:50:56,421 --> 00:50:58,189
>> hmm, i thought you were the
1179
00:50:58,189 --> 00:50:58,789
nerdy type.
1180
00:50:58,789 --> 00:51:01,092
hey, that's a great company.
1181
00:51:01,092 --> 00:51:03,428
i actually applied to temp there
1182
00:51:03,428 --> 00:51:05,596
before i ended up here, so...
1183
00:51:05,596 --> 00:51:07,332
uh...
1184
00:51:07,332 --> 00:51:08,733
is that all you wanted to tell
1185
00:51:08,733 --> 00:51:09,200
me?
1186
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:10,235
>> yes, that's all.
1187
00:51:10,235 --> 00:51:11,669
i will not mention your breasts
1188
00:51:11,669 --> 00:51:13,371
again until our date when i have
1189
00:51:13,371 --> 00:51:13,738
a job.
1190
00:51:13,738 --> 00:51:15,540
right now i must concentrate on
1191
00:51:15,540 --> 00:51:17,208
snail mail, filing bullshit
1192
00:51:17,208 --> 00:51:18,309
reports, coffee --
1193
00:51:18,309 --> 00:51:20,545
>> luke.
1194
00:51:20,545 --> 00:51:21,879
what if i say no?
1195
00:51:21,879 --> 00:51:24,249
i mean, you're -- you're cute
1196
00:51:24,249 --> 00:51:26,451
and all, but maybe i'm looking
1197
00:51:26,451 --> 00:51:28,553
for something different in a
1198
00:51:28,553 --> 00:51:31,222
guy.
1199
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:12,463
>> maria can't say no.
1200
00:52:12,463 --> 00:52:15,466
>> tough day, huh?
1201
00:52:15,466 --> 00:52:18,703
>> yes. very tough.
1202
00:52:18,703 --> 00:52:19,837
>> try getting married and
1203
00:52:19,837 --> 00:52:20,571
having kids.
1204
00:52:33,818 --> 00:52:38,556
jonas is, um, not doing too
1205
00:52:38,556 --> 00:52:42,693
well.
1206
00:52:42,693 --> 00:52:43,928
they call me at work.
1207
00:52:43,928 --> 00:52:45,730
i have to go see the doctor at
1208
00:52:45,730 --> 00:52:46,497
the home.
1209
00:52:46,497 --> 00:52:48,333
>> i need to see grandpa before
1210
00:52:48,333 --> 00:52:51,669
he is dead.
1211
00:52:51,669 --> 00:52:54,405
>> yeah. yeah, i do, too.
1212
00:53:07,452 --> 00:53:09,987
>> grandpa, i can't just figure
1213
00:53:09,987 --> 00:53:10,855
it out.
1214
00:53:10,855 --> 00:53:13,391
i need you to tell me what to
1215
00:53:13,391 --> 00:53:17,428
do, okay?
1216
00:53:17,428 --> 00:53:19,664
please wake up.
1217
00:53:32,743 --> 00:53:34,612
>> i don't think i've ever seen
1218
00:53:34,612 --> 00:53:37,415
him this way.
1219
00:53:37,415 --> 00:53:40,851
he seems so -- so calm.
1220
00:53:40,851 --> 00:53:42,687
>> he's not snoring.
1221
00:53:42,687 --> 00:53:43,588
>> huh?
1222
00:53:43,588 --> 00:53:45,956
>> grandpa snores like a wild
1223
00:53:45,956 --> 00:53:46,891
hog.
1224
00:53:46,891 --> 00:53:49,794
he's not sleeping well.
1225
00:53:49,794 --> 00:53:51,862
he's not calm.
1226
00:54:00,838 --> 00:54:04,909
>> want to sit? sit.
1227
00:54:04,909 --> 00:54:07,612
do he ever mention me much?
1228
00:54:07,612 --> 00:54:10,515
>> grandpa called me paul when
1229
00:54:10,515 --> 00:54:12,950
he couldn't find me in the
1230
00:54:12,950 --> 00:54:15,886
house -- always.
1231
00:54:15,886 --> 00:54:17,588
>> oh, yeah?
1232
00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:20,358
>> yes.
1233
00:54:20,358 --> 00:54:22,259
>> huh.
1234
00:54:27,398 --> 00:54:29,567
boy, was he pissed when you
1235
00:54:29,567 --> 00:54:33,571
first showed up.
1236
00:54:33,571 --> 00:54:35,873
never forgave your mother for
1237
00:54:35,873 --> 00:54:38,343
dumping you on his doorstep.
1238
00:54:38,343 --> 00:54:41,078
i guess none of us did.
1239
00:54:41,078 --> 00:54:44,048
she only came back once to visit
1240
00:54:44,048 --> 00:54:46,984
you, when you were about 6 or 7,
1241
00:54:46,984 --> 00:54:48,018
i think.
1242
00:54:48,018 --> 00:54:52,056
remember that?
1243
00:54:52,056 --> 00:54:54,759
i always knew i'd be looking
1244
00:54:54,759 --> 00:54:58,863
after you someday.
1245
00:54:58,863 --> 00:55:01,098
i just didn't think it would be
1246
00:55:01,098 --> 00:55:02,066
this soon.
1247
00:55:02,066 --> 00:55:04,001
i always thought you didn't
1248
00:55:04,001 --> 00:55:05,603
understand anything.
1249
00:55:05,603 --> 00:55:08,873
luke.
1250
00:55:08,873 --> 00:55:11,576
luke.
1251
00:55:11,576 --> 00:55:13,344
you know what he said to me when
1252
00:55:13,344 --> 00:55:14,912
i came by to visit him the other
1253
00:55:14,912 --> 00:55:16,447
day?
1254
00:55:16,447 --> 00:55:22,520
he said, "hey, boy.
1255
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:27,024
men don't whine.
1256
00:55:27,024 --> 00:55:31,862
they just go out and get it
1257
00:55:31,862 --> 00:55:34,732
done, period."
1258
00:55:54,485 --> 00:55:56,053
>> you realize you're the first
1259
00:55:56,053 --> 00:55:57,888
smiles intern i allow to use the
1260
00:55:57,888 --> 00:55:59,924
postage meter?
1261
00:56:16,741 --> 00:56:22,713
this is very unlike me.
1262
00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:24,849
is something going on?
1263
00:56:29,053 --> 00:56:31,121
what, you don't want to talk
1264
00:56:31,121 --> 00:56:37,462
today?
1265
00:56:38,596 --> 00:56:39,063
>> aah!
1266
00:56:39,964 --> 00:56:40,998
got you, retard!
1267
00:56:40,998 --> 00:56:42,032
>> i am not a retard.
1268
00:56:42,032 --> 00:56:43,468
i've told you that already.
1269
00:56:43,468 --> 00:56:44,635
people who call me that --
1270
00:56:44,635 --> 00:56:45,202
>> whatever.
1271
00:56:45,202 --> 00:56:46,537
you can't scream in here,
1272
00:56:46,537 --> 00:56:46,937
anyway.
1273
00:56:46,937 --> 00:56:49,707
the walls aren't soundproof.
1274
00:56:49,707 --> 00:56:51,175
so what happened?
1275
00:56:51,175 --> 00:56:53,678
somebody shuffle around your
1276
00:56:53,678 --> 00:56:57,482
baseball-card collection?
1277
00:56:57,482 --> 00:56:58,916
>> grandpa told me to just
1278
00:56:58,916 --> 00:57:00,485
figure it out, be a man.
1279
00:57:00,485 --> 00:57:02,052
but what happens when i get a
1280
00:57:02,052 --> 00:57:03,954
job and maria says no to a date?
1281
00:57:03,954 --> 00:57:05,155
it's not acceptable.
1282
00:57:05,155 --> 00:57:06,957
i have to get my shit together
1283
00:57:06,957 --> 00:57:07,558
fast.
1284
00:57:07,558 --> 00:57:08,459
think, luke.
1285
00:57:08,459 --> 00:57:12,029
think.
1286
00:57:16,534 --> 00:57:18,002
>> it's always those women,
1287
00:57:18,002 --> 00:57:18,736
isn't it?
1288
00:57:18,736 --> 00:57:21,739
>> yes, very much so.
1289
00:57:21,739 --> 00:57:23,574
>> every problem has a rational
1290
00:57:23,574 --> 00:57:25,042
solution, luke, even women.
1291
00:57:25,042 --> 00:57:27,044
you met her at smiles, right?
1292
00:57:27,044 --> 00:57:29,013
>> maria works at easy jobs.
1293
00:57:29,013 --> 00:57:31,482
she answers the phones.
1294
00:57:31,482 --> 00:57:33,150
>> did you fall for an n.t.?
1295
00:57:33,150 --> 00:57:35,019
>> maria is a nice girl with
1296
00:57:35,019 --> 00:57:36,086
pretty breasts.
1297
00:57:36,086 --> 00:57:38,088
do not use figures of speech on
1298
00:57:38,088 --> 00:57:39,857
her.
1299
00:57:39,857 --> 00:57:41,692
>> "n.t." -- neurologically
1300
00:57:41,692 --> 00:57:42,527
typical.
1301
00:57:42,527 --> 00:57:43,594
she's normal.
1302
00:57:43,594 --> 00:57:44,995
does she know you're a retard?
1303
00:57:44,995 --> 00:57:46,631
>> i am not a retard, and i've
1304
00:57:46,631 --> 00:57:47,197
told you --
1305
00:57:48,198 --> 00:57:48,766
>> shh!
1306
00:57:48,766 --> 00:57:50,100
luke, you are very special, but
1307
00:57:50,100 --> 00:57:51,602
if betsy hears us screaming in
1308
00:57:51,602 --> 00:57:52,870
the mail room, my father will
1309
00:57:52,870 --> 00:57:53,771
kick us both out.
1310
00:57:53,771 --> 00:57:55,072
he forced me to become a smiles
1311
00:57:55,072 --> 00:57:56,507
supervisor because he thinks
1312
00:57:56,507 --> 00:57:57,775
it'll build character, but he
1313
00:57:57,775 --> 00:57:59,109
knows what a miserable failure i
1314
00:57:59,109 --> 00:57:59,577
am.
1315
00:57:59,577 --> 00:58:00,945
i can't stay home with my mother
1316
00:58:00,945 --> 00:58:01,546
all day.
1317
00:58:01,546 --> 00:58:04,915
i will die.
1318
00:58:04,915 --> 00:58:06,817
don't you see, luke?
1319
00:58:06,817 --> 00:58:08,919
we're alike, you and i,
1320
00:58:08,919 --> 00:58:11,522
practically kissing cousins.
1321
00:58:14,659 --> 00:58:15,993
>> luke.
1322
00:58:15,993 --> 00:58:17,628
luke.
1323
00:58:17,628 --> 00:58:21,599
i'm not normal, either.
1324
00:58:21,599 --> 00:58:23,000
do you understand?
1325
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,570
i'm nowhere near as dumb as you,
1326
00:58:25,570 --> 00:58:28,105
but undeniably different.
1327
00:58:28,105 --> 00:58:30,307
can i show you something?
1328
00:58:30,307 --> 00:58:32,910
it'll open your eyes.
1329
00:58:32,910 --> 00:58:38,716
are you ready, luke?
1330
00:58:38,716 --> 00:58:40,618
do you see those two n.t.s by
1331
00:58:40,618 --> 00:58:41,786
the water cooler?
1332
00:58:41,786 --> 00:58:42,920
they're chatting.
1333
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:44,188
it's the first step.
1334
00:58:44,188 --> 00:58:46,156
i've studied n.t. mating rituals
1335
00:58:46,156 --> 00:58:47,091
extensively.
1336
00:58:47,091 --> 00:58:48,125
here, she'll say something
1337
00:58:48,125 --> 00:58:49,259
stupid, and he'll say something
1338
00:58:49,259 --> 00:58:50,027
stupid in return.
1339
00:58:50,027 --> 00:58:51,161
but that something has to have
1340
00:58:51,161 --> 00:58:52,196
direct relation to what she
1341
00:58:52,196 --> 00:58:52,963
originally said.
1342
00:58:52,963 --> 00:58:54,031
and there's a trick.
1343
00:58:54,031 --> 00:58:55,299
even though he might not be
1344
00:58:55,299 --> 00:58:56,967
interested in what she's talking
1345
00:58:56,967 --> 00:58:58,202
about, he has to pretend.
1346
00:58:58,202 --> 00:58:59,837
this is transmitted by his tone
1347
00:58:59,837 --> 00:59:01,238
of voice, which has to be full
1348
00:59:01,238 --> 00:59:02,272
of hundreds of tiny
1349
00:59:02,272 --> 00:59:03,908
fluctuations, and especially by
1350
00:59:03,908 --> 00:59:04,675
eye contact.
1351
00:59:04,675 --> 00:59:06,143
look in his eyes, luke.
1352
00:59:06,143 --> 00:59:08,145
he's staring directly at hers.
1353
00:59:08,145 --> 00:59:08,979
>> hmm.
1354
00:59:08,979 --> 00:59:10,114
>> but wait.
1355
00:59:10,114 --> 00:59:11,315
he looks away.
1356
00:59:11,315 --> 00:59:12,783
'cause if he stares too long, he
1357
00:59:12,783 --> 00:59:14,018
can be seen as threatening, and
1358
00:59:14,018 --> 00:59:15,285
if he doesn't stare long enough,
1359
00:59:15,285 --> 00:59:16,587
he doesn't seem interested.
1360
00:59:16,587 --> 00:59:18,022
it's a careful balance.
1361
00:59:18,022 --> 00:59:20,057
see, there, he looks back again.
1362
00:59:20,057 --> 00:59:20,791
>> hmm.
1363
00:59:20,791 --> 00:59:22,326
>> this can go on for hours.
1364
00:59:22,326 --> 00:59:23,694
and through the whole ordeal,
1365
00:59:23,694 --> 00:59:24,862
they have to move their hands
1366
00:59:24,862 --> 00:59:25,930
around and all these silly
1367
00:59:25,930 --> 00:59:27,197
gestures, which are actually not
1368
00:59:27,197 --> 00:59:28,365
silly at all, but an integral
1369
00:59:28,365 --> 00:59:29,033
part of the
1370
00:59:29,033 --> 00:59:30,034
non-verbal-communication
1371
00:59:30,034 --> 00:59:30,635
package.
1372
00:59:30,635 --> 00:59:31,736
n.t.s need to figure out if
1373
00:59:31,736 --> 00:59:32,870
they're compatible with each
1374
00:59:32,870 --> 00:59:33,838
other -- worthy mates.
1375
00:59:33,838 --> 00:59:36,006
do you see, luke?
1376
00:59:36,006 --> 00:59:37,675
do you see?
1377
00:59:37,675 --> 00:59:40,110
>> yes.
1378
00:59:40,110 --> 00:59:41,879
i do.
1379
00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:47,017
>> does she remind you of
1380
00:59:47,017 --> 00:59:50,688
anyone?
1381
00:59:50,688 --> 00:59:52,322
>> she doesn't look normal.
1382
00:59:52,322 --> 00:59:53,991
>> this is a scientific
1383
00:59:53,991 --> 00:59:54,925
instrument.
1384
00:59:54,925 --> 00:59:56,727
this is a human simulator.
1385
00:59:56,727 --> 00:59:58,062
it's my masterpiece.
1386
00:59:58,062 --> 01:00:00,731
it's not some silly cartoon.
1387
01:00:00,731 --> 01:00:06,871
>> mm, look out.
1388
01:00:06,871 --> 01:00:10,340
she's looking at me.
1389
01:00:10,340 --> 01:00:12,109
>> camera on top of the monitor
1390
01:00:12,109 --> 01:00:13,143
is recording you.
1391
01:00:13,143 --> 01:00:14,679
my proprietary software's
1392
01:00:14,679 --> 01:00:16,146
analyzing your painful excuse
1393
01:00:16,146 --> 01:00:17,748
for facial expressions, and
1394
01:00:17,748 --> 01:00:19,016
she's reacting in turn.
1395
01:00:19,016 --> 01:00:21,285
>> she doesn't like me.
1396
01:00:21,285 --> 01:00:24,722
>> relax your face. relax.
1397
01:00:24,722 --> 01:00:26,323
n.t.s need constant feedback in
1398
01:00:26,323 --> 01:00:28,025
the form of overtly apparent
1399
01:00:28,025 --> 01:00:29,126
emotional signage.
1400
01:00:29,126 --> 01:00:30,928
if you don't make eye contact or
1401
01:00:30,928 --> 01:00:32,429
smile at them or modulate your
1402
01:00:32,429 --> 01:00:34,231
voice to make it sound pretty to
1403
01:00:34,231 --> 01:00:35,800
listen to, then they think
1404
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:37,134
you're a freak, plain and
1405
01:00:37,134 --> 01:00:37,802
simple.
1406
01:00:38,936 --> 01:00:40,104
i programmed her to be a bitch
1407
01:00:40,104 --> 01:00:41,271
because that's what you're up
1408
01:00:41,271 --> 01:00:44,408
against.
1409
01:00:44,408 --> 01:00:46,410
i went after an n.t. once.
1410
01:00:46,410 --> 01:00:48,045
>> you can help me.
1411
01:00:48,045 --> 01:00:50,280
>> i made this program based on
1412
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:51,215
that n.t.
1413
01:00:51,215 --> 01:00:53,217
i thought if...
1414
01:00:53,217 --> 01:00:55,352
if i pretended to be normal,
1415
01:00:55,352 --> 01:01:00,891
then she would like me.
1416
01:01:00,891 --> 01:01:02,727
and she didn't.
1417
01:01:02,727 --> 01:01:05,830
>> you pretended to be normal.
1418
01:01:05,830 --> 01:01:08,766
>> luke, you're a smart kid.
1419
01:01:08,766 --> 01:01:10,167
i can teach you all the computer
1420
01:01:10,167 --> 01:01:11,435
shit you would need to get a
1421
01:01:11,435 --> 01:01:14,004
decent job anywhere.
1422
01:01:14,004 --> 01:01:17,041
you and me -- we're not the same
1423
01:01:17,041 --> 01:01:18,108
species.
1424
01:01:18,108 --> 01:01:20,745
we're not part of their society.
1425
01:01:22,312 --> 01:01:25,049
you have to accept that.
1426
01:01:25,049 --> 01:01:27,284
otherwise, there's nothing but
1427
01:01:27,284 --> 01:01:29,820
pain -- horrible, horrible pain.
1428
01:01:29,820 --> 01:01:31,722
>> i want to get my shit
1429
01:01:31,722 --> 01:01:33,791
together like anybody else.
1430
01:01:33,791 --> 01:01:39,730
help me, zack.
1431
01:01:39,730 --> 01:01:45,102
i want to be a man.
1432
01:01:45,102 --> 01:01:47,137
>> i'm taking you on as a case
1433
01:01:47,137 --> 01:01:47,838
study.
1434
01:01:47,838 --> 01:01:49,006
but i'm running it
1435
01:01:49,006 --> 01:01:50,841
scientifically, and you cannot
1436
01:01:50,841 --> 01:01:52,076
question my methods.
1437
01:01:52,076 --> 01:01:52,777
got it?
1438
01:01:52,777 --> 01:01:57,882
>> i accept.
1439
01:01:57,882 --> 01:02:00,017
when can we start?
1440
01:02:13,197 --> 01:02:18,168
>> luke, how was, um...
1441
01:02:18,168 --> 01:02:19,937
how was work today?
1442
01:02:19,937 --> 01:02:21,371
>> work was okay.
1443
01:02:21,371 --> 01:02:26,977
thank you for asking.
1444
01:02:26,977 --> 01:02:28,445
>> you're very welcome.
1445
01:02:28,445 --> 01:02:30,447
>> i bet you're happy that they
1446
01:02:30,447 --> 01:02:32,416
let you stay until 5:00 like a
1447
01:02:32,416 --> 01:02:33,450
normal worker.
1448
01:02:33,450 --> 01:02:35,385
>> i am normal, cousin megan.
1449
01:02:35,385 --> 01:02:36,220
>> megan.
1450
01:02:36,220 --> 01:02:36,987
>> yeah.
1451
01:02:36,987 --> 01:02:39,824
you're the one who's not normal.
1452
01:02:39,824 --> 01:02:41,792
>> i mean like anybody else.
1453
01:02:41,792 --> 01:02:43,527
you must be learning a lot,
1454
01:02:43,527 --> 01:02:44,228
right?
1455
01:02:44,228 --> 01:02:46,296
>> yes, cousin, i'm learning a
1456
01:02:46,296 --> 01:02:48,065
lot, indeed.
1457
01:02:48,065 --> 01:02:49,233
>> luke, i don't give a shit
1458
01:02:49,233 --> 01:02:50,367
what you're learning, man.
1459
01:02:50,367 --> 01:02:51,802
you got to figure out something
1460
01:02:51,802 --> 01:02:53,070
so you can come home in time to
1461
01:02:53,070 --> 01:02:53,370
cook.
1462
01:02:53,370 --> 01:02:54,304
oh, i'm sorry.
1463
01:02:54,304 --> 01:02:55,339
teach my mom how.
1464
01:02:55,339 --> 01:02:57,174
>> you know what? screw you all.
1465
01:02:57,174 --> 01:03:01,879
i actually tried, okay?
1466
01:03:02,346 --> 01:03:03,814
all right, look, i have more
1467
01:03:03,814 --> 01:03:05,182
potatoes and vegetables in the
1468
01:03:05,182 --> 01:03:06,316
fridge and two pounds of
1469
01:03:06,316 --> 01:03:07,051
tenderloin.
1470
01:03:07,051 --> 01:03:08,853
how long would it take you?
1471
01:03:08,853 --> 01:03:10,554
>> it will take me 23 minutes
1472
01:03:10,554 --> 01:03:12,289
with your kind assistance,
1473
01:03:12,289 --> 01:03:13,190
aunt cindy.
1474
01:03:13,190 --> 01:03:15,225
by the way, isn't it a beautiful
1475
01:03:15,225 --> 01:03:16,994
day today?
1476
01:03:52,362 --> 01:03:54,431
i'm ready, zack.
1477
01:04:05,109 --> 01:04:07,377
>> just leave it and go!
1478
01:04:13,951 --> 01:04:15,452
>> nice shoes, angry betsy.
1479
01:04:15,452 --> 01:04:16,887
>> what did you say?
1480
01:04:16,887 --> 01:04:18,588
>> i said you have nice shoes on
1481
01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:20,224
today.
1482
01:04:20,224 --> 01:04:24,128
they look very comfortable.
1483
01:04:24,128 --> 01:04:25,595
i wanted to keep my shoes that
1484
01:04:25,595 --> 01:04:27,231
long, but grandma said that i
1485
01:04:27,231 --> 01:04:28,899
looked like a common tramp and
1486
01:04:28,899 --> 01:04:30,167
couldn't be seen with her
1487
01:04:30,167 --> 01:04:30,634
anymore.
1488
01:04:30,634 --> 01:04:32,302
but i bet they don't make your
1489
01:04:32,302 --> 01:04:35,205
little toe hurt at all.
1490
01:04:35,205 --> 01:04:40,544
>> no. no, they don't.
1491
01:04:40,544 --> 01:04:41,345
>> there.
1492
01:04:41,345 --> 01:04:42,947
>> you passed your first
1493
01:04:42,947 --> 01:04:44,048
real-world test.
1494
01:04:44,048 --> 01:04:45,215
pure luck, in my opinion.
1495
01:04:45,215 --> 01:04:46,616
i want you to clock in more time
1496
01:04:46,616 --> 01:04:47,684
on the n.t. simulator.
1497
01:04:47,684 --> 01:04:49,053
i've added voice-recognition
1498
01:04:49,053 --> 01:04:49,519
software.
1499
01:04:49,519 --> 01:04:52,556
>> zack, she is not real.
1500
01:04:56,326 --> 01:04:58,295
maria.
1501
01:04:58,295 --> 01:04:58,929
how?!
1502
01:04:58,929 --> 01:05:00,530
>> how many marias working at
1503
01:05:00,530 --> 01:05:02,332
easy jobs in the city do you
1504
01:05:02,332 --> 01:05:03,400
think there are?
1505
01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:04,534
>> you met maria?
1506
01:05:04,534 --> 01:05:06,303
>> no, luke, i don't venture
1507
01:05:06,303 --> 01:05:08,005
unnecessarily into public.
1508
01:05:08,005 --> 01:05:09,173
jose, the night janitor -- he
1509
01:05:09,173 --> 01:05:10,407
filled out a job application and
1510
01:05:10,407 --> 01:05:11,175
took her photo.
1511
01:05:11,175 --> 01:05:12,476
by the way, he said she had
1512
01:05:12,476 --> 01:05:13,610
really nice chi-chis.
1513
01:05:13,610 --> 01:05:15,145
so as n.t.s go, you picked a
1514
01:05:15,145 --> 01:05:15,645
good one.
1515
01:05:15,645 --> 01:05:16,981
jose is a connoisseur.
1516
01:05:18,082 --> 01:05:19,216
don't get too excited.
1517
01:05:19,216 --> 01:05:20,617
i turned the bitch factor down
1518
01:05:20,617 --> 01:05:21,251
to half.
1519
01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:22,552
>> this is very acceptable,
1520
01:05:22,552 --> 01:05:25,990
zack.
1521
01:05:25,990 --> 01:05:27,424
>> you know you'll never really
1522
01:05:27,424 --> 01:05:28,392
be normal, right?
1523
01:05:28,392 --> 01:05:29,659
you know this is all about
1524
01:05:29,659 --> 01:05:30,394
pretending.
1525
01:05:30,394 --> 01:05:31,695
you have less than one in a
1526
01:05:31,695 --> 01:05:34,098
billion chance of not making a
1527
01:05:34,098 --> 01:05:38,735
fool of yourself.
1528
01:05:38,735 --> 01:05:42,072
>> then i will practice a lot.
1529
01:05:48,112 --> 01:05:49,713
>> luke. luke, how long do i
1530
01:05:49,713 --> 01:05:51,281
boil the carrots again?
1531
01:05:51,281 --> 01:05:53,250
>> the carrots are not to be
1532
01:05:53,250 --> 01:05:54,518
cooked separately.
1533
01:05:54,518 --> 01:05:56,086
they are to be placed in the
1534
01:05:56,086 --> 01:05:57,487
roasting pan with the potatoes
1535
01:05:57,487 --> 01:05:58,255
and onions.
1536
01:05:58,255 --> 01:06:00,690
>> right. shit.
1537
01:06:00,690 --> 01:06:03,460
>> aunt cindy, are you sure you
1538
01:06:03,460 --> 01:06:07,097
don't want my close supervision?
1539
01:06:07,097 --> 01:06:08,999
>> i'm not an idiot, luke.
1540
01:06:08,999 --> 01:06:10,334
i can follow simple
1541
01:06:10,334 --> 01:06:12,602
instructions.
1542
01:06:19,109 --> 01:06:20,677
>> hello, nice to see you.
1543
01:06:20,677 --> 01:06:21,511
>> oh, hi.
1544
01:06:21,511 --> 01:06:23,280
i read that one last year.
1545
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:25,315
my guidance counselor gave it to
1546
01:06:25,315 --> 01:06:27,284
me because she thought i didn't
1547
01:06:27,284 --> 01:06:28,585
have enough friends.
1548
01:06:28,585 --> 01:06:31,088
>> did it help?
1549
01:06:31,088 --> 01:06:32,322
>> no.
1550
01:06:36,060 --> 01:06:37,261
>> what helps?
1551
01:06:37,261 --> 01:06:38,728
>> nothing, really.
1552
01:06:38,728 --> 01:06:40,530
some things just suck.
1553
01:06:40,530 --> 01:06:41,331
>> mm.
1554
01:06:41,331 --> 01:06:43,167
>> and then they don't.
1555
01:06:43,167 --> 01:06:43,667
>> ah.
1556
01:06:43,667 --> 01:06:45,435
>> and then they just suck
1557
01:06:45,435 --> 01:06:47,571
again.
1558
01:06:51,708 --> 01:06:53,443
i haven't read that one.
1559
01:06:53,443 --> 01:06:59,783
can't comment.
1560
01:06:59,783 --> 01:07:02,219
hey, i found something.
1561
01:07:02,219 --> 01:07:04,388
it's an old videotape.
1562
01:07:04,388 --> 01:07:07,057
it has your name on it.
1563
01:07:07,057 --> 01:07:09,093
you want to see it?
1564
01:07:09,093 --> 01:07:10,327
i can't believe i got it
1565
01:07:10,327 --> 01:07:10,794
working.
1566
01:07:10,794 --> 01:07:12,429
this camera's from the '90s or
1567
01:07:12,429 --> 01:07:15,632
something.
1568
01:07:15,632 --> 01:07:18,102
you can sit if you want.
1569
01:07:36,853 --> 01:07:39,689
is that you?
1570
01:07:39,689 --> 01:07:42,159
>> yes.
1571
01:07:42,159 --> 01:07:45,262
>> what are you doing?
1572
01:07:45,262 --> 01:07:46,663
>> playing...
1573
01:07:47,631 --> 01:07:49,233
>> ...in grandma maggie's
1574
01:07:49,233 --> 01:07:51,501
garden.
1575
01:07:51,501 --> 01:07:54,804
i don't have shoes on.
1576
01:07:54,804 --> 01:07:57,641
it feels nice.
1577
01:08:04,481 --> 01:08:07,184
>> luke, come back.
1578
01:08:07,184 --> 01:08:09,853
come back right now.
1579
01:08:10,654 --> 01:08:11,655
>> come here, luke.
1580
01:08:11,655 --> 01:08:13,823
come. come.
1581
01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:33,143
>> turn it off.
1582
01:08:59,503 --> 01:09:00,770
i turned the chicken halfway
1583
01:09:00,770 --> 01:09:02,239
through, so it's golden-brown
1584
01:09:02,239 --> 01:09:02,539
now.
1585
01:09:02,539 --> 01:09:03,473
i think it's done.
1586
01:09:03,473 --> 01:09:06,610
i took it out.
1587
01:09:06,610 --> 01:09:10,180
and i put the brown rice on, so
1588
01:09:10,180 --> 01:09:13,350
it will be fresh for dinner.
1589
01:09:13,350 --> 01:09:14,618
and i did exactly what you said.
1590
01:09:14,618 --> 01:09:15,852
i didn't use too much water --
1591
01:09:15,852 --> 01:09:18,355
two to one.
1592
01:09:18,355 --> 01:09:21,825
exactly.
1593
01:09:21,825 --> 01:09:26,963
>> is the chicken skin crispy?
1594
01:09:26,963 --> 01:09:29,499
it has to make a sound when you
1595
01:09:29,499 --> 01:09:31,835
poke it.
1596
01:09:31,835 --> 01:09:34,504
>> i don't think it's crispy
1597
01:09:34,504 --> 01:09:38,375
like that, luke.
1598
01:09:38,375 --> 01:09:40,377
>> it's not ready, then.
1599
01:09:40,377 --> 01:09:42,612
the middle is pink and should
1600
01:09:42,612 --> 01:09:43,813
not be eaten.
1601
01:09:43,813 --> 01:09:46,216
someone could get very sick.
1602
01:09:46,216 --> 01:09:49,753
>> great.
1603
01:09:53,690 --> 01:09:56,226
>> i will fix the chicken.
1604
01:10:11,641 --> 01:10:14,444
now it's done.
1605
01:10:14,444 --> 01:10:17,481
>> okay.
1606
01:10:17,481 --> 01:10:22,352
okay.
1607
01:10:22,352 --> 01:10:23,653
paul told me not to mention it,
1608
01:10:23,653 --> 01:10:24,821
but i have to tell you -- i
1609
01:10:24,821 --> 01:10:26,323
think your mother is a whore of
1610
01:10:26,323 --> 01:10:26,756
a person.
1611
01:10:26,756 --> 01:10:28,958
>> if you don't have anything
1612
01:10:28,958 --> 01:10:31,428
nice to say, you shouldn't say
1613
01:10:31,428 --> 01:10:32,729
anything at all.
1614
01:10:32,729 --> 01:10:34,498
>> yes, i know, luke.
1615
01:10:34,498 --> 01:10:35,499
i'm sorry.
1616
01:10:35,499 --> 01:10:37,601
at least i didn't swear, right?
1617
01:10:37,601 --> 01:10:39,569
>> mm.
1618
01:10:39,569 --> 01:10:41,037
>> you know, we went to see her
1619
01:10:41,037 --> 01:10:42,572
after maggie died to see if
1620
01:10:42,572 --> 01:10:43,940
she'd take you, and i should
1621
01:10:43,940 --> 01:10:45,575
have punched her in her stupid
1622
01:10:45,575 --> 01:10:47,277
face for how she's treated you.
1623
01:10:47,277 --> 01:10:48,312
sorry.
1624
01:10:48,312 --> 01:10:50,914
i did it again.
1625
01:10:50,914 --> 01:10:53,717
>> grandma maggie said that
1626
01:10:53,717 --> 01:10:56,686
sara loved me in her own way.
1627
01:10:56,686 --> 01:10:59,756
i don't know what way that is.
1628
01:10:59,756 --> 01:11:00,624
>> you know what?
1629
01:11:00,624 --> 01:11:01,891
you should show up and make a
1630
01:11:01,891 --> 01:11:03,360
scene -- scream and break shit
1631
01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:04,561
and go all autistic on her.
1632
01:11:04,561 --> 01:11:08,565
that's what i'd do.
1633
01:11:08,565 --> 01:11:11,034
>> i want to see sara.
1634
01:11:35,692 --> 01:11:36,926
>> i guess you're deciding what
1635
01:11:36,926 --> 01:11:38,094
to do with your own life now,
1636
01:11:38,094 --> 01:11:43,967
anyway, huh?
1637
01:11:43,967 --> 01:11:46,570
your mother works at the jewelry
1638
01:11:46,570 --> 01:11:49,373
store at the mall.
1639
01:11:49,373 --> 01:11:51,375
good luck.
1640
01:11:59,916 --> 01:12:01,351
>> now that we've selected an
1641
01:12:01,351 --> 01:12:02,486
appropriate test subject, i
1642
01:12:02,486 --> 01:12:03,753
think the most important thing
1643
01:12:03,753 --> 01:12:04,954
is gonna be getting personal.
1644
01:12:04,954 --> 01:12:06,423
and i'm not talking about, you
1645
01:12:06,423 --> 01:12:07,691
know, what stupid shoes are you
1646
01:12:07,691 --> 01:12:08,792
wearing -- i mean intimate.
1647
01:12:08,792 --> 01:12:10,059
so you'll have to actually ask
1648
01:12:10,059 --> 01:12:11,094
questions and engage in
1649
01:12:11,094 --> 01:12:11,828
conversation.
1650
01:12:11,828 --> 01:12:13,029
we should do something about
1651
01:12:13,029 --> 01:12:15,932
your appearance -- your shoes,
1652
01:12:15,932 --> 01:12:18,635
your shirt, your hair, your
1653
01:12:18,635 --> 01:12:20,437
face.
1654
01:12:20,437 --> 01:12:20,837
luke!
1655
01:12:20,837 --> 01:12:22,439
>> no screaming, please.
1656
01:12:22,439 --> 01:12:23,407
>> i told you.
1657
01:12:23,407 --> 01:12:24,808
i would require complete
1658
01:12:24,808 --> 01:12:25,642
dedication!
1659
01:12:25,642 --> 01:12:27,477
don't you care about your next
1660
01:12:27,477 --> 01:12:28,378
assignment?!
1661
01:12:28,378 --> 01:12:29,979
>> i know my next assignment,
1662
01:12:29,979 --> 01:12:30,580
zack.
1663
01:12:30,580 --> 01:12:32,382
>> oh, now you're the expert.
1664
01:12:32,382 --> 01:12:33,750
suddenly, after reading only two
1665
01:12:33,750 --> 01:12:35,051
self-help books, you know more.
1666
01:12:35,051 --> 01:12:36,586
i've sorted through hundreds of
1667
01:12:36,586 --> 01:12:37,787
personnel files to select a
1668
01:12:37,787 --> 01:12:39,155
perfect scientific companion for
1669
01:12:39,155 --> 01:12:39,623
you!
1670
01:12:39,623 --> 01:12:40,924
>> zack, you're a good person,
1671
01:12:40,924 --> 01:12:42,158
and you're doing a very good
1672
01:12:42,158 --> 01:12:45,128
job, but i need to do something
1673
01:12:45,128 --> 01:12:47,564
first.
1674
01:12:53,503 --> 01:12:57,941
you can help me, zack.
1675
01:12:57,941 --> 01:13:00,143
>> what exactly do you have in
1676
01:13:00,143 --> 01:13:00,844
mind?
1677
01:13:00,844 --> 01:13:03,046
>> your friend doesn't get out
1678
01:13:03,046 --> 01:13:04,448
much, does he?
1679
01:13:04,448 --> 01:13:06,750
>> zack prefers to avoid humans,
1680
01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:08,685
especially neurologically
1681
01:13:08,685 --> 01:13:10,987
typicals in social settings, but
1682
01:13:10,987 --> 01:13:13,189
today his scientific curiosity
1683
01:13:13,189 --> 01:13:15,625
has gotten the better of him.
1684
01:13:15,625 --> 01:13:17,827
by the way, isn't it a beautiful
1685
01:13:17,827 --> 01:13:18,762
day today?
1686
01:13:18,762 --> 01:13:19,896
>> yes, it is.
1687
01:13:19,896 --> 01:13:21,665
>> what the hell is wrong with
1688
01:13:21,665 --> 01:13:22,065
you?!
1689
01:13:22,065 --> 01:13:23,833
this isn't just your disorder!
1690
01:13:23,833 --> 01:13:24,701
this is you!
1691
01:13:24,701 --> 01:13:25,902
you're a certifiable
1692
01:13:25,902 --> 01:13:26,770
moron-idiot!
1693
01:13:26,770 --> 01:13:28,171
i could have done better picking
1694
01:13:28,171 --> 01:13:29,739
a capuchin monkey for my study.
1695
01:13:29,739 --> 01:13:31,775
a monkey i could understand, but
1696
01:13:31,775 --> 01:13:32,476
you --
1697
01:13:32,476 --> 01:13:34,143
>> no screaming in the mall,
1698
01:13:34,143 --> 01:13:35,979
zack, or the jewelry store.
1699
01:13:35,979 --> 01:13:37,581
it's not acceptable.
1700
01:13:37,581 --> 01:13:39,182
please control yourself.
1701
01:13:39,182 --> 01:13:40,650
>> don't you see?
1702
01:13:40,650 --> 01:13:42,586
this will ruin everything.
1703
01:13:42,586 --> 01:13:44,721
this will not be acceptable.
1704
01:13:44,721 --> 01:13:46,556
this will set us back.
1705
01:13:46,556 --> 01:13:48,658
it will set you back.
1706
01:13:48,658 --> 01:13:51,060
>> hello, my name is luke.
1707
01:13:51,060 --> 01:13:53,997
isn't it a beautiful day today?
1708
01:13:53,997 --> 01:13:55,699
>> it's a shit day, luke!
1709
01:13:55,699 --> 01:13:57,233
you just don't realize it.
1710
01:13:57,233 --> 01:13:59,002
you can't smell the stink.
1711
01:13:59,002 --> 01:14:00,870
i agree that this bench has a
1712
01:14:00,870 --> 01:14:02,506
strange smell, but in my
1713
01:14:02,506 --> 01:14:04,240
experience, bad smells usually
1714
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:06,843
pass.
1715
01:14:06,843 --> 01:14:09,479
and bathing helps, zack.
1716
01:14:13,817 --> 01:14:15,485
>> take off those stupid
1717
01:14:15,485 --> 01:14:16,052
glasses.
1718
01:14:16,052 --> 01:14:17,821
they make you look way too
1719
01:14:17,821 --> 01:14:18,488
smart.
1720
01:14:18,488 --> 01:14:20,223
>> the lady at the store said
1721
01:14:20,223 --> 01:14:21,858
they made me look sexy.
1722
01:14:21,858 --> 01:14:23,560
>> they don't make you look
1723
01:14:23,560 --> 01:14:23,993
sexy.
1724
01:14:23,993 --> 01:14:25,194
you don't look sexy.
1725
01:14:25,194 --> 01:14:26,996
you never look sexy, so don't
1726
01:14:26,996 --> 01:14:27,764
even try.
1727
01:14:27,764 --> 01:14:29,566
>> she said they made me look
1728
01:14:29,566 --> 01:14:33,703
sexy without even trying.
1729
01:14:38,575 --> 01:14:40,977
i'm ready, zack.
1730
01:15:06,202 --> 01:15:08,705
>> sir?
1731
01:15:08,705 --> 01:15:10,306
sir?
1732
01:15:10,306 --> 01:15:12,642
can i help you find something?
1733
01:15:12,642 --> 01:15:14,711
>> no. i'm busy... looking at
1734
01:15:14,711 --> 01:15:16,613
this necklace.
1735
01:15:16,613 --> 01:15:18,181
>> well, um, let me know if you
1736
01:15:18,181 --> 01:15:19,082
need any help.
1737
01:15:19,082 --> 01:15:21,250
i'm john.
1738
01:15:28,892 --> 01:15:30,894
>> mm.
1739
01:15:35,999 --> 01:15:38,935
where are you?
1740
01:15:43,973 --> 01:15:45,308
>> where is sara?
1741
01:15:45,308 --> 01:15:47,276
she was right there, and...
1742
01:15:47,276 --> 01:15:49,646
>> was she helping you?
1743
01:15:49,646 --> 01:15:52,348
i'm sorry, um, maybe i can help?
1744
01:15:52,348 --> 01:15:53,049
come on.
1745
01:15:53,049 --> 01:15:54,317
i bet you're looking for
1746
01:15:54,317 --> 01:15:55,885
something for that special
1747
01:15:55,885 --> 01:15:56,853
someone, right?
1748
01:15:56,853 --> 01:15:58,354
my mother is great at picking
1749
01:15:58,354 --> 01:15:59,723
out the perfect gift.
1750
01:15:59,723 --> 01:16:01,290
>> yes, i was going to ask sara
1751
01:16:01,290 --> 01:16:02,959
to help me find a present for
1752
01:16:02,959 --> 01:16:04,994
m--
1753
01:16:09,733 --> 01:16:11,801
sara is your mother.
1754
01:16:11,801 --> 01:16:13,703
>> this, yeah, is the family
1755
01:16:13,703 --> 01:16:15,271
business.
1756
01:16:15,271 --> 01:16:15,839
sir.
1757
01:16:15,839 --> 01:16:17,707
i know i'm young, but you let me
1758
01:16:17,707 --> 01:16:19,142
in on how much you want to
1759
01:16:19,142 --> 01:16:21,010
spend, what's the occasion, and
1760
01:16:21,010 --> 01:16:22,345
i can guarantee you that
1761
01:16:22,345 --> 01:16:23,947
together, we'll find that
1762
01:16:23,947 --> 01:16:25,081
special something.
1763
01:16:25,081 --> 01:16:28,618
there's no need to be nervous.
1764
01:16:28,618 --> 01:16:31,320
>> you are so tall.
1765
01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:33,222
>> or you could wait for my
1766
01:16:33,222 --> 01:16:33,990
mother.
1767
01:16:33,990 --> 01:16:36,159
she'll be back from her break in
1768
01:16:36,159 --> 01:16:40,129
30 minutes.
1769
01:16:40,129 --> 01:16:42,799
>> mm.
1770
01:16:42,799 --> 01:16:44,768
yes.
1771
01:16:44,768 --> 01:16:46,903
30 minutes.
1772
01:16:46,903 --> 01:16:49,072
you will help me find earrings
1773
01:16:49,072 --> 01:16:52,375
for maria... sara's son.
1774
01:16:52,375 --> 01:16:54,644
>> okay. perfect.
1775
01:16:54,644 --> 01:16:56,846
um, well, uh, we have this
1776
01:16:56,846 --> 01:16:57,681
piece.
1777
01:16:57,681 --> 01:16:59,816
they're gorgeous.
1778
01:16:59,816 --> 01:17:02,051
um...
1779
01:17:02,051 --> 01:17:05,421
>> luke! luke! luke!
1780
01:17:05,421 --> 01:17:06,823
you gave it your best shot, but
1781
01:17:06,823 --> 01:17:08,057
now you need to admit defeat and
1782
01:17:08,057 --> 01:17:08,424
retreat.
1783
01:17:08,424 --> 01:17:10,026
you're not prepared for a
1784
01:17:10,026 --> 01:17:11,795
non-jewelry-store interaction.
1785
01:17:11,795 --> 01:17:13,362
i'm canceling the field test.
1786
01:17:13,362 --> 01:17:16,666
i'm in charge, remember?
1787
01:17:16,666 --> 01:17:17,333
i'm leaving, luke.
1788
01:17:17,333 --> 01:17:18,835
i won't be part of this madness.
1789
01:17:18,835 --> 01:17:19,669
>> you can leave.
1790
01:17:19,669 --> 01:17:20,770
i'll get home by myself.
1791
01:17:20,770 --> 01:17:21,938
>> don't you see how stressed
1792
01:17:21,938 --> 01:17:22,405
out i am?!
1793
01:17:22,405 --> 01:17:23,673
>> yes, but that's not my
1794
01:17:23,673 --> 01:17:28,244
concern right now.
1795
01:17:28,244 --> 01:17:32,982
there she is.
1796
01:17:32,982 --> 01:17:34,417
>> don't do this.
1797
01:17:34,417 --> 01:17:36,219
i'm -- i won't stay.
1798
01:17:36,219 --> 01:17:38,121
i'm -- i'm going home.
1799
01:17:38,121 --> 01:17:41,390
>> okay.
1800
01:18:09,986 --> 01:18:11,387
>> hi, there.
1801
01:18:11,387 --> 01:18:16,392
>> hello... there.
1802
01:18:16,392 --> 01:18:17,994
>> um, i was just leaving.
1803
01:18:17,994 --> 01:18:19,328
do you want to sit here?
1804
01:18:19,328 --> 01:18:22,165
>> oh, you should not leave.
1805
01:18:22,165 --> 01:18:26,369
isn't it a beautiful day today?
1806
01:18:26,369 --> 01:18:31,941
>> kind of windy.
1807
01:18:31,941 --> 01:18:32,742
do you want to join --
1808
01:18:32,742 --> 01:18:33,276
>> can i sit down?
1809
01:18:36,345 --> 01:18:38,948
>> you remind me of my son.
1810
01:18:38,948 --> 01:18:42,986
he's shy... but cute.
1811
01:18:42,986 --> 01:18:46,990
>> i have made his acquaintance.
1812
01:18:46,990 --> 01:18:49,759
>> you shopped in my store.
1813
01:18:49,759 --> 01:18:52,295
i knew you looked familiar.
1814
01:18:52,295 --> 01:18:54,197
>> john was nice.
1815
01:18:54,197 --> 01:18:55,198
>> yes.
1816
01:18:55,198 --> 01:18:58,902
i'm proud of him.
1817
01:18:58,902 --> 01:19:01,104
you're nervous.
1818
01:19:01,104 --> 01:19:02,939
i can tell.
1819
01:19:02,939 --> 01:19:06,509
it's an important day, isn't it?
1820
01:19:06,509 --> 01:19:09,212
>> can i -- can i see what you
1821
01:19:09,212 --> 01:19:11,447
bought?
1822
01:19:15,151 --> 01:19:17,353
she must be very special.
1823
01:19:21,858 --> 01:19:25,995
we have similar tastes.
1824
01:19:25,995 --> 01:19:27,263
i wouldn't be nervous.
1825
01:19:27,263 --> 01:19:28,965
i think you'll be very happy
1826
01:19:28,965 --> 01:19:30,166
with those earrings.
1827
01:19:30,166 --> 01:19:31,835
>> that would be very nice.
1828
01:19:31,835 --> 01:19:33,369
i need all the help i can get
1829
01:19:33,369 --> 01:19:39,408
with maria.
1830
01:19:39,408 --> 01:19:40,977
>> how long have you known her?
1831
01:19:40,977 --> 01:19:42,045
>> we've spoken on two
1832
01:19:42,045 --> 01:19:43,279
occasions, and i think she's
1833
01:19:43,279 --> 01:19:44,480
very nice and will like to
1834
01:19:44,480 --> 01:19:47,183
travel.
1835
01:19:47,183 --> 01:19:50,386
>> you've never dated.
1836
01:19:50,386 --> 01:19:52,956
>> i have to get a job first.
1837
01:19:52,956 --> 01:19:55,124
i'm working on that.
1838
01:20:02,966 --> 01:20:04,834
are you happy, sara?
1839
01:20:04,834 --> 01:20:07,036
i don't like to answer that
1840
01:20:07,036 --> 01:20:08,037
question.
1841
01:20:08,037 --> 01:20:10,473
i just look away and talk about
1842
01:20:10,473 --> 01:20:11,841
the weather.
1843
01:20:11,841 --> 01:20:14,310
you can talk about the weather.
1844
01:20:14,310 --> 01:20:17,947
isn't it a beautiful day today?
1845
01:20:17,947 --> 01:20:20,083
>> i never thought i'd be able
1846
01:20:20,083 --> 01:20:22,385
to speak to you.
1847
01:20:27,023 --> 01:20:31,260
you're beautiful.
1848
01:20:31,260 --> 01:20:35,164
my family doesn't...
1849
01:20:35,164 --> 01:20:38,968
john doesn't know.
1850
01:20:38,968 --> 01:20:41,337
please don't...
1851
01:20:41,337 --> 01:20:44,107
please don't tell him.
1852
01:20:44,107 --> 01:20:47,143
i'm not ready.
1853
01:20:47,143 --> 01:20:51,314
i'm sorry.
1854
01:20:51,314 --> 01:20:53,149
i'm sorry.
1855
01:20:53,149 --> 01:20:54,317
>> please don't go.
1856
01:20:54,317 --> 01:20:55,384
please don't go.
1857
01:20:55,384 --> 01:20:56,552
i don't understand.
1858
01:20:56,552 --> 01:20:58,087
i did everything right.
1859
01:20:58,087 --> 01:21:00,123
please, i did everything right.
1860
01:21:00,123 --> 01:21:01,590
i did everything right.
1861
01:21:01,590 --> 01:21:02,926
please don't go.
1862
01:21:02,926 --> 01:21:04,393
i did everything right.
1863
01:21:04,393 --> 01:21:05,561
please don't go!
1864
01:21:05,561 --> 01:21:07,230
i did everything right.
1865
01:21:07,230 --> 01:21:09,165
i did everything right, sara.
1866
01:21:09,165 --> 01:21:11,334
please, please, please.
1867
01:21:11,334 --> 01:21:13,502
i did everything right.
1868
01:21:13,502 --> 01:21:15,638
i did everything right.
1869
01:21:15,638 --> 01:21:17,306
please, please.
1870
01:21:17,306 --> 01:21:19,008
don't go.
1871
01:21:19,008 --> 01:21:21,677
i don't understand!
1872
01:21:21,677 --> 01:21:24,580
i don't understand!
1873
01:21:46,702 --> 01:21:49,438
that was not nice!
1874
01:22:18,601 --> 01:22:21,104
>> i decided not to cancel the
1875
01:22:21,104 --> 01:22:23,739
field test after all.
1876
01:22:23,739 --> 01:22:26,609
i'm still in charge, you know.
1877
01:22:26,609 --> 01:22:27,676
though you obviously don't know
1878
01:22:27,676 --> 01:22:28,744
the first thing about scientific
1879
01:22:28,744 --> 01:22:33,349
procedures.
1880
01:22:33,349 --> 01:22:35,751
anyway, i stayed.
1881
01:22:35,751 --> 01:22:38,621
that's what friends are for, so
1882
01:22:38,621 --> 01:22:44,527
i've read somewhere.
1883
01:22:44,527 --> 01:22:47,030
i'm glad you got rid of those
1884
01:22:47,030 --> 01:22:48,564
ridiculous glasses.
1885
01:22:48,564 --> 01:22:53,536
>> yes. me too.
1886
01:22:53,536 --> 01:22:57,006
no more pretending, okay?
1887
01:22:57,006 --> 01:22:58,374
>> okay.
1888
01:22:58,374 --> 01:23:00,376
retard.
1889
01:23:20,729 --> 01:23:22,165
>> i don't know what could be
1890
01:23:22,165 --> 01:23:23,099
taking him so long.
1891
01:23:23,099 --> 01:23:24,267
i mean, he's -- he's never
1892
01:23:24,267 --> 01:23:25,168
usually this late.
1893
01:23:25,168 --> 01:23:26,202
>> no, never.
1894
01:23:26,202 --> 01:23:27,336
>> don't worry.
1895
01:23:27,336 --> 01:23:29,238
he knows all the bus routes.
1896
01:23:29,238 --> 01:23:31,174
>> i'd be more worried about
1897
01:23:31,174 --> 01:23:31,640
brad.
1898
01:23:31,640 --> 01:23:33,042
>> you know what?
1899
01:23:33,042 --> 01:23:35,444
we should get him a cellphone.
1900
01:23:35,444 --> 01:23:36,279
>> yeah, yeah.
1901
01:23:36,279 --> 01:23:36,745
>> right?
1902
01:23:36,745 --> 01:23:38,281
>> i think you're right. yeah.
1903
01:23:38,281 --> 01:23:40,183
>> he's probably been promoted
1904
01:23:40,183 --> 01:23:40,783
to c.e.o.
1905
01:23:40,783 --> 01:23:42,685
he's re-organizing the company
1906
01:23:42,685 --> 01:23:43,619
as we speak.
1907
01:23:43,619 --> 01:23:45,488
right?
1908
01:23:58,067 --> 01:24:00,303
luke.
1909
01:24:00,303 --> 01:24:04,607
come in. come in.
1910
01:24:04,607 --> 01:24:05,374
>> whoa.
1911
01:24:05,374 --> 01:24:07,310
what's up with the new threads?
1912
01:24:07,310 --> 01:24:08,077
>> brad.
1913
01:24:08,077 --> 01:24:08,644
>> what?
1914
01:24:08,644 --> 01:24:10,346
>> i think you look cool.
1915
01:24:10,346 --> 01:24:12,548
>> it's late. i know.
1916
01:24:12,548 --> 01:24:14,617
and i broke some of the house
1917
01:24:14,617 --> 01:24:15,384
rules.
1918
01:24:15,384 --> 01:24:16,452
>> it's okay.
1919
01:24:16,452 --> 01:24:17,553
>> i'm sorry.
1920
01:24:17,553 --> 01:24:19,722
>> have a seat.
1921
01:24:24,527 --> 01:24:27,563
luke, i need to tell you
1922
01:24:27,563 --> 01:24:33,336
something.
1923
01:24:33,336 --> 01:24:37,273
jonas died this afternoon.
1924
01:24:37,273 --> 01:24:39,442
we're having a service for him
1925
01:24:39,442 --> 01:24:43,412
tomorrow.
1926
01:24:43,412 --> 01:24:45,714
>> thank you for telling me,
1927
01:24:45,714 --> 01:24:49,718
uncle paul.
1928
01:24:49,718 --> 01:24:51,487
>> would you like some dinner?
1929
01:24:51,487 --> 01:24:53,189
i think my meat loaf came out
1930
01:24:53,189 --> 01:24:53,556
okay.
1931
01:24:53,556 --> 01:24:54,890
no one got sick, anyway.
1932
01:24:54,890 --> 01:24:58,427
>> yes, i am very hungry.
1933
01:25:05,601 --> 01:25:08,171
do i have a booger in my nose?
1934
01:25:08,171 --> 01:25:10,339
or is there something in my
1935
01:25:10,339 --> 01:25:11,174
teeth?
1936
01:25:12,475 --> 01:25:15,811
no. you're okay, cousin.
1937
01:25:15,811 --> 01:25:18,214
>> mm.
1938
01:25:18,214 --> 01:25:22,785
>> are you sad, luke?
1939
01:25:22,785 --> 01:25:26,622
>> grandpa was old... and sick.
1940
01:25:26,622 --> 01:25:32,795
and he missed maggie very much.
1941
01:25:32,795 --> 01:25:35,364
>> are you sure you're okay?
1942
01:25:35,364 --> 01:25:38,234
>> i'm very tired.
1943
01:25:38,234 --> 01:25:39,335
but i am happy.
1944
01:25:39,335 --> 01:25:40,236
>> you are?
1945
01:25:40,236 --> 01:25:40,903
>> really?
1946
01:25:40,903 --> 01:25:42,705
>> what a stupid question.
1947
01:25:42,705 --> 01:25:44,273
of course he's happy.
1948
01:25:44,273 --> 01:25:45,441
just look at him.
1949
01:25:53,949 --> 01:25:56,652
is that better, uncle paul?
1950
01:25:57,486 --> 01:25:59,222
>> you're a real smart ass, you
1951
01:25:59,222 --> 01:25:59,788
know that?
1952
01:25:59,788 --> 01:26:04,827
>> yes. i am a smart ass.
1953
01:26:04,827 --> 01:26:09,765
>> it's good to have you home.
1954
01:26:27,416 --> 01:26:32,821
>> uh, just... bring it here.
1955
01:26:32,821 --> 01:26:35,524
>> angry betsy.
1956
01:26:35,524 --> 01:26:37,360
>> so zack's been canned.
1957
01:26:37,360 --> 01:26:39,462
the big boss is waiting for you
1958
01:26:39,462 --> 01:26:40,996
in the conference room.
1959
01:26:40,996 --> 01:26:44,733
good luck, kid.
1960
01:26:44,733 --> 01:26:47,202
hurry up! go!
1961
01:27:02,318 --> 01:27:03,552
>> come in.
1962
01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:09,692
excuse us. thank you.
1963
01:27:09,692 --> 01:27:11,294
thank you.
1964
01:27:11,294 --> 01:27:15,264
we'll reconvene.
1965
01:27:15,264 --> 01:27:18,634
close the door, luke.
1966
01:27:22,738 --> 01:27:24,873
have a seat.
1967
01:27:29,678 --> 01:27:31,414
so, luke, i'll get straight to
1968
01:27:31,414 --> 01:27:31,980
the point.
1969
01:27:31,980 --> 01:27:33,749
>> i need a job, mr. click&easy.
1970
01:27:33,749 --> 01:27:35,451
i will be a very good worker.
1971
01:27:35,451 --> 01:27:36,919
i already know how to use the
1972
01:27:36,919 --> 01:27:38,621
postage meter and make coffee
1973
01:27:38,621 --> 01:27:40,289
and file bullshit reports and
1974
01:27:40,289 --> 01:27:41,390
deliver snail mail.
1975
01:27:41,390 --> 01:27:42,758
zack says i'm a very quick
1976
01:27:42,758 --> 01:27:44,493
learner, and i haven't learned
1977
01:27:44,493 --> 01:27:45,561
computer shit yet.
1978
01:27:45,561 --> 01:27:46,929
i wish i knew what happened to
1979
01:27:46,929 --> 01:27:48,531
zack, but please don't throw me
1980
01:27:48,531 --> 01:27:48,831
out.
1981
01:27:48,831 --> 01:27:50,399
i haven't asked maria out on a
1982
01:27:50,399 --> 01:27:54,303
date yet.
1983
01:27:54,303 --> 01:27:55,438
>> are you done?
1984
01:27:55,438 --> 01:27:56,639
>> yes. i'm done.
1985
01:27:56,639 --> 01:27:58,674
>> listen, zachary's on his way
1986
01:27:58,674 --> 01:28:00,309
to head my research and
1987
01:28:00,309 --> 01:28:02,010
development office, and he's
1988
01:28:02,010 --> 01:28:05,914
going there because of you.
1989
01:28:05,914 --> 01:28:07,950
um...
1990
01:28:07,950 --> 01:28:10,853
he told me... "if that idiot luke
1991
01:28:10,853 --> 01:28:13,489
can pull what he did, then i
1992
01:28:13,489 --> 01:28:15,924
don't see why i shouldn't be
1993
01:28:15,924 --> 01:28:17,693
able to adapt my
1994
01:28:17,693 --> 01:28:20,028
social-pattern-recognition
1995
01:28:20,028 --> 01:28:22,798
software to be whored into use
1996
01:28:22,798 --> 01:28:26,034
as a direct marketing tool."
1997
01:28:26,034 --> 01:28:28,337
he also said i was to give you a
1998
01:28:28,337 --> 01:28:28,737
job.
1999
01:28:28,737 --> 01:28:33,542
and if i didn't, he'd scream.
2000
01:28:34,843 --> 01:28:36,679
it's very annoying when zack
2001
01:28:36,679 --> 01:28:37,446
screams.
2002
01:28:37,446 --> 01:28:39,014
>> yeah, tell me about it.
2003
01:28:39,014 --> 01:28:42,017
so, luke... would you accept
2004
01:28:42,017 --> 01:28:44,620
being the new official
2005
01:28:44,620 --> 01:28:48,624
click&easy office trainee?
2006
01:28:48,624 --> 01:28:50,759
>> would i learn computer shit
2007
01:28:50,759 --> 01:28:52,495
as an office trainee?
2008
01:28:52,495 --> 01:28:53,962
>> oh, it's required.
2009
01:28:53,962 --> 01:28:55,431
zachary said so.
2010
01:28:55,431 --> 01:28:56,732
>> yes, i accept.
2011
01:28:56,732 --> 01:28:59,835
>> good.
2012
01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:05,741
thank you.
2013
01:29:05,741 --> 01:29:07,876
>> does this mean i have a paid
2014
01:29:07,876 --> 01:29:08,511
job?
2015
01:29:08,511 --> 01:29:10,579
>> some people can scratch out
2016
01:29:10,579 --> 01:29:12,681
an existence on what you'll be
2017
01:29:12,681 --> 01:29:14,550
receiving, but i've heard the
2018
01:29:14,550 --> 01:29:15,918
benefits are great.
2019
01:29:15,918 --> 01:29:18,454
luke, get to work.
2020
01:29:18,454 --> 01:29:24,092
>> yes. thank you.
2021
01:29:40,008 --> 01:29:44,713
>> cindy and i made love today.
2022
01:29:44,713 --> 01:29:46,782
we haven't had sex in over a
2023
01:29:46,782 --> 01:29:47,516
year.
2024
01:29:48,584 --> 01:29:50,853
i don't know why i'm telling you
2025
01:29:50,853 --> 01:29:51,787
all this.
2026
01:29:51,787 --> 01:29:52,688
but i am.
2027
01:29:52,688 --> 01:29:57,526
>> is it nice... to screw?
2028
01:29:57,526 --> 01:29:59,562
>> yes.
2029
01:29:59,562 --> 01:30:02,531
it's very nice.
2030
01:30:15,811 --> 01:30:17,546
>> luke.
2031
01:30:17,546 --> 01:30:21,484
what are you doing here?
2032
01:30:21,484 --> 01:30:23,686
>> maria, i have a job that pays
2033
01:30:23,686 --> 01:30:25,821
real money and gives benefits.
2034
01:30:25,821 --> 01:30:27,089
and as you can tell, i am not
2035
01:30:27,089 --> 01:30:28,591
staring at your breasts, but at
2036
01:30:28,591 --> 01:30:31,494
your beautiful eyes.
2037
01:30:31,494 --> 01:30:34,530
i would like to ask you out on a
2038
01:30:34,530 --> 01:30:37,533
date... with me... to a restaurant
2039
01:30:37,533 --> 01:30:39,568
or a movie or a bar.
2040
01:30:39,568 --> 01:30:40,903
but i can't drink any alcohol
2041
01:30:40,903 --> 01:30:42,237
because it makes me act silly.
2042
01:30:42,237 --> 01:30:44,740
do you accept, maria?
2043
01:30:44,740 --> 01:30:47,943
>> um, i'm glad you finally got
2044
01:30:47,943 --> 01:30:50,479
the job, luke.
2045
01:30:50,479 --> 01:30:52,481
and i like your new hair.
2046
01:30:52,481 --> 01:30:54,517
>> that does not answer my
2047
01:30:54,517 --> 01:30:57,553
question.
2048
01:30:57,553 --> 01:31:02,257
>> i'm sorry, luke.
2049
01:31:02,257 --> 01:31:04,960
>> so, i can assume you are
2050
01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:09,031
declining my offer, then, maria.
2051
01:31:09,031 --> 01:31:12,167
>> yes. sorry.
2052
01:31:12,167 --> 01:31:14,169
>> my relatives tell me that i'm
2053
01:31:14,169 --> 01:31:15,671
quite a catch.
2054
01:31:15,671 --> 01:31:17,806
so you'll probably regret
2055
01:31:17,806 --> 01:31:22,277
this...
2056
01:31:22,277 --> 01:31:24,647
a lot.
2057
01:31:43,566 --> 01:31:48,871
mm.
2058
01:31:51,239 --> 01:31:52,908
hey.
2059
01:31:52,908 --> 01:31:55,310
there's, um -- there's always a
2060
01:31:55,310 --> 01:31:58,013
next time, right?
2061
01:31:58,013 --> 01:32:01,784
>> yes. there is.
2062
01:32:01,784 --> 01:32:03,786
and angry betsy is teaching me
2063
01:32:03,786 --> 01:32:05,153
to use the internet.
2064
01:32:05,153 --> 01:32:07,756
there are 3.2 billion females on
2065
01:32:07,756 --> 01:32:08,891
this planet.
2066
01:32:08,891 --> 01:32:13,762
i only need to find one.
2067
01:32:13,762 --> 01:32:17,766
>> that's very true.
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