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1
00:00:34,875 --> 00:00:37,000
Will the defendant please stand?
2
00:00:37,583 --> 00:00:42,583
Kempton Bunton, you are charged
that on the 21st of march, 1961,
3
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:47,542
you stole from the National Gallery
the portrait of the Duke of Wellington
4
00:00:47,625 --> 00:00:53,167
by the artist Francisco Goya
to the value of £140,000.
5
00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:55,375
How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?
6
00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:56,458
Not guilty.
7
00:00:56,542 --> 00:01:00,458
And that you created a public nuisance
by depriving members of the public
8
00:01:00,542 --> 00:01:02,583
of the opportunity to view the portrait.
9
00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:04,875
Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
10
00:01:04,958 --> 00:01:06,542
Same again, love. Not guilty.
11
00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:09,792
Mr Cussen.
12
00:01:11,542 --> 00:01:12,542
Thank you, My Lord.
13
00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:21,018
At this rate,
you'll be giving that Shakespeare
14
00:02:21,042 --> 00:02:22,375
a run for his money.
15
00:02:22,917 --> 00:02:25,875
Imagine if Jesus had been born a woman.
16
00:02:27,292 --> 00:02:28,417
Well, what's it called?
17
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,417
The adventures of Susan Christ.
18
00:02:32,583 --> 00:02:33,958
Not my cup of tea, then.
19
00:02:34,708 --> 00:02:36,500
Oh, well, you never know.
20
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:37,750
Recorded delivery?
21
00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:40,333
Aye. Good idea.
22
00:02:40,417 --> 00:02:42,643
That will be two shillings, Mr Bunton.
23
00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:44,309
Come on, Mr Singh.
24
00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:45,750
We know you're in there.
25
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,375
I know he's in.
26
00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:51,809
- Harry? Come on.
- All right.
27
00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:53,018
We'll come back.
28
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:55,059
- I know he's in.
- All right.
29
00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,292
He's cooking.
30
00:02:56,375 --> 00:02:58,458
Right, cup of tea
and then we'll go and do...
31
00:02:58,542 --> 00:02:59,875
Evening chronicle.
32
00:02:59,958 --> 00:03:02,125
- How can I help you?
- Is Barry Spence there, pet?
33
00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:04,417
- Just putting you through.
- Thank you.
34
00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:07,625
Dorothy?
35
00:03:07,708 --> 00:03:08,708
I'm in here.
36
00:03:08,792 --> 00:03:12,208
Dorothy, would you be
a sweetie and just clean the heads for me?
37
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:13,792
Oh, yes. Yes, of course.
38
00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:15,500
Uh, will I finish the fireplace first?
39
00:03:15,583 --> 00:03:18,458
It's entirely up to you, but I'm playing
this afternoon. Busy, busy.
40
00:03:18,542 --> 00:03:21,417
Oh, Dorothy,
as I was passing Fenwick's the other day,
41
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,833
I noticed that they had, um, a sign up.
42
00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:26,333
"Storeman." just in case your husband...
43
00:03:30,042 --> 00:03:31,708
Uh, I just mention it.
44
00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:54,583
- Mr Bunton.
- Curtain twitched.
45
00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:00,625
Dad!
46
00:04:03,208 --> 00:04:04,708
Post office. In the street.
47
00:04:04,792 --> 00:04:06,875
I know. Buy me five minutes.
48
00:04:06,958 --> 00:04:09,583
- Mr Bunton?
- Cometh the hour, Jackie, lad.
49
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,708
- Mr Bunton?
- Can I help?
50
00:04:12,792 --> 00:04:15,167
We're here to inspect
your television licence.
51
00:04:17,917 --> 00:04:18,917
Look at that.
52
00:04:20,125 --> 00:04:23,083
- What?
- Fox. Big fella.
53
00:04:23,167 --> 00:04:25,958
Any house with a television
is required to have a licence.
54
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:29,583
Our radar Van detected
a line output transformer signal
55
00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:30,667
from this address,
56
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:33,500
coming from a cathode ray tube
this time last week.
57
00:04:33,583 --> 00:04:35,667
- We haven't got one of them.
- That's a telly.
58
00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:38,292
Oh. Oh, we've got one of them.
59
00:04:38,375 --> 00:04:40,208
And do you have a licence?
60
00:04:40,292 --> 00:04:41,292
In what sense?
61
00:04:41,375 --> 00:04:42,708
In the sense of having one
62
00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:45,042
or not having one.
63
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,750
A Mars a day
helps you work, rest and play.
64
00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:51,458
Gentlemen, join me.
Robin hood after the adverts.
65
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,500
- Can we see your licence, Sir?
- Don't need one.
66
00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:56,125
We only watch ITV,
which is paid for by these.
67
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,393
This is a mistake. I can go
to the post office in the morning.
68
00:04:58,417 --> 00:05:00,833
This is no mistake. It is a political act.
69
00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:03,875
Witness, I cannot receive the BBC.
70
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:05,708
To the left, ITV.
71
00:05:06,542 --> 00:05:09,417
I've taken the band-one coil
from the turret tuner.
72
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:13,083
- Here we go again.
- My wife always supports me in private.
73
00:05:13,167 --> 00:05:17,000
It is thus physically impossible for
this set to receive a televisual signal
74
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:20,833
from the British broadcasting corporation,
and that negates the imperative on me
75
00:05:20,917 --> 00:05:23,309
- to pay the licence fee.
- I've only got 16 Bob here.
76
00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:25,643
- Jackie, fetch the kitty from the larder.
- Don't you move.
77
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:28,208
It's an unfair tax on ordinary people.
78
00:05:28,292 --> 00:05:31,125
Especially the oldies
that can't afford it.
79
00:05:31,208 --> 00:05:34,583
Television, gentlemen,
is the modern cure for loneliness.
80
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,184
- We're a movement...
- I'm not!
81
00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:38,083
Our aim is to persuade our government
82
00:05:38,167 --> 00:05:40,792
that old people
should have free televisual viewing.
83
00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:43,333
Well, the law's the law,
and no one's above it.
84
00:05:43,417 --> 00:05:44,917
Especially a nobody like you.
85
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,708
Oi! You can't talk to me Dad like that
in his own house.
86
00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:49,625
- Or what?
- You all right, Kempton?
87
00:05:49,708 --> 00:05:52,893
- Don't know, Barry. Never think about it.
- You back again, stirring it.
88
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,268
- W ho are you?
- Evening chronicle.
89
00:05:54,292 --> 00:05:56,708
- Well, by statute...
- Free TV for the OAP?
90
00:05:56,792 --> 00:05:58,167
I like it.
91
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:00,750
I was pleased. Not a lot rhymes with TV.
92
00:06:00,833 --> 00:06:03,583
- I don't want this in the papers.
- He does. That's why I'm here.
93
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:07,333
Well, by statute, anyone owning
a television needs a licence.
94
00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:12,458
Uh-huh. But I have modified this set
by removing the BBC coil.
95
00:06:12,542 --> 00:06:14,417
So I owe the government nothing.
96
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:16,625
That is an unarguable proposition
97
00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:19,042
and certainly sound in law.
98
00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:20,333
Hold it.
99
00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:26,958
- Thank you.
- Now, then, Bunton.
100
00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:41,833
Sorry, Dad.
101
00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:44,958
Where to? Home?
102
00:06:45,042 --> 00:06:46,250
Marian.
103
00:06:55,792 --> 00:06:56,958
Sorry, love.
104
00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:00,875
Porridge.
105
00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:04,208
Thirteen days.
106
00:07:07,625 --> 00:07:08,917
Broke the law.
107
00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:13,000
Upset your mother.
108
00:07:13,792 --> 00:07:14,917
Again.
109
00:07:23,833 --> 00:07:26,583
- Why doesn't Mam ever come?
- Don't know, Jackie.
110
00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:28,375
You'll have to ask her that yourself.
111
00:07:34,792 --> 00:07:37,167
When England faced its Waterloo,
112
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:38,917
one man stood firm.
113
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,042
This man.
114
00:07:40,125 --> 00:07:42,708
Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington.
115
00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:45,000
And when last week, this historic portrait
116
00:07:45,083 --> 00:07:47,167
was in danger
of leaving the country forever,
117
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:49,125
we also stood firm,
118
00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:54,417
raising the £140,000 required
to secure it for us all.
119
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:55,583
Was it really worth it?
120
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:03,292
I mean, looking at it,
it's not very big, is it?
121
00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:06,833
Sir Philip?
122
00:08:06,917 --> 00:08:08,667
Well, um,
123
00:08:09,292 --> 00:08:14,917
it's an outstanding example
of late-period Goya.
124
00:08:15,542 --> 00:08:18,333
It really is. Outstanding.
125
00:08:18,417 --> 00:08:20,833
And at the National Gallery in London,
126
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,500
the Home Secretary unveiled Goya 's...
127
00:08:22,583 --> 00:08:25,375
This is champion, love. Bit of mustard?
128
00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:27,792
You had servants in prison, did you?
129
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,750
You know I don't like getting up.
130
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,434
- I'll get it, Dad.
- No, you won't.
131
00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:32,851
The iron Duke, I think...
132
00:08:32,875 --> 00:08:33,875
Jackie.
133
00:08:33,958 --> 00:08:35,351
Embodies our own national character.
134
00:08:35,375 --> 00:08:36,625
Courage, resolve...
135
00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:38,542
Not the Duke of bloody Wellington.
136
00:08:38,625 --> 00:08:40,167
Refusal to countenance defeat.
137
00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:43,583
I sold one of me boats.
138
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:45,625
So you didn't go to night class?
139
00:08:45,708 --> 00:08:47,250
Thought you'd be happy for us.
140
00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:49,351
I'd be happier
if you were getting yourself qualified.
141
00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:51,208
What's the armada down to, then?
142
00:08:51,292 --> 00:08:52,375
Just the one left.
143
00:08:52,458 --> 00:08:54,338
At any price, Home Secretary?
144
00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:55,934
Well, we're not in the business
145
00:08:55,958 --> 00:08:58,042
of putting a price
on the nation's heritage.
146
00:08:58,125 --> 00:08:59,792
They don't have to.
147
00:08:59,875 --> 00:09:02,833
It's the taxpayer, you and me, Jackie,
that's paid for that painting.
148
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,333
Since when have you paid any tax?
149
00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:07,217
"Welcome home, Kempton."
150
00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:09,083
You know what's going off here, Jackie?
151
00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:11,333
Toffs, looking after their own.
152
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,167
Spending our hard-earned money
153
00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:16,458
on a half-baked portrait
by some Spanish drunk
154
00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:18,750
of a Duke who was a bastard to his men
155
00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:21,042
and who voted against universal suffrage.
156
00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,167
- Against what?
- The vote.
157
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:25,458
The Duke of Wellington
didn't want you to have a say
158
00:09:25,542 --> 00:09:27,833
in how this country was run
when he was prime minister.
159
00:09:27,917 --> 00:09:29,957
Think what they could have done
with all that money.
160
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,792
Given thousands and thousands
of free TV licences
161
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:34,833
to war widows and pensioners, that's what.
162
00:09:34,917 --> 00:09:37,708
Are these speeches of yours
going to put food on the table?
163
00:09:37,792 --> 00:09:40,167
You can stop that, Dolly.
I'm back on the taxis tomorrow.
164
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:42,708
Has yet been taken
by the British government
165
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:45,208
on the question of the common market.
166
00:09:45,292 --> 00:09:46,893
"One who hopes."
167
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:48,542
Translated from what, I couldn't say.
168
00:09:48,625 --> 00:09:50,375
Esperanto, presumably.
169
00:09:50,458 --> 00:09:52,333
I'm not paying for conversation.
170
00:09:53,042 --> 00:09:54,500
I'll keep my trap shut, then.
171
00:09:55,458 --> 00:09:57,583
In fact, he was a Polish eye doctor.
172
00:09:57,667 --> 00:09:59,292
L. L. Zamenhof.
173
00:09:59,375 --> 00:10:01,792
His dream was to bring humanity together
174
00:10:01,875 --> 00:10:04,333
by means of a universal common language.
175
00:10:13,292 --> 00:10:15,250
Fucking hell.
176
00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:17,973
- What you doing, kidder?
- Putting a cabin on it.
177
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:20,042
Boat building, eh?
178
00:10:21,083 --> 00:10:23,542
Swan hunter will be shitting themselves.
179
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:27,625
You gonna live on it? Get out the house?
180
00:10:27,708 --> 00:10:30,042
I sell them on as working boats.
181
00:10:32,583 --> 00:10:34,958
- What are you doing home?
- Ah, keeping me head down.
182
00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:37,167
Are you in trouble?
183
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:39,625
Not in Newcastle.
184
00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:44,583
Got a little job for youse.
185
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:48,625
I wanna keep me nose clean.
186
00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:49,768
- I'll source the car.
- Nah.
187
00:10:49,792 --> 00:10:51,309
You just have to drive it
and get rid of it.
188
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:53,083
- Nah! I said no!
- Well, you did it before.
189
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:54,958
Yeah, and I regret it.
190
00:10:55,042 --> 00:10:56,250
Well, think about it.
191
00:10:57,708 --> 00:10:58,875
A business opportunity.
192
00:11:01,583 --> 00:11:03,000
How's hostilities?
193
00:11:03,083 --> 00:11:05,875
He's writing away,
and Mam's scrubbing the world clean.
194
00:11:08,708 --> 00:11:10,333
Bloody Marian.
195
00:11:11,375 --> 00:11:13,542
Aye. Bloody Marian.
196
00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:22,542
She normally sleeps through.
197
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:25,583
It'll be fine. Don't worry.
She knows you. She likes you.
198
00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:27,083
Oh, Dorothy, would you mind?
199
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:29,167
Sorry.
200
00:11:30,458 --> 00:11:32,000
I've always liked this dress.
201
00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:35,000
Oh, it's taffeta. I hate it.
It's so uncomfortable.
202
00:11:35,083 --> 00:11:38,208
Darling, it's 7:30 for 8:00,
not 8:30 for 10:00!
203
00:11:38,292 --> 00:11:40,917
Gordon Bennett. Thank you, Dorothy.
204
00:11:44,292 --> 00:11:46,625
So, what is it tonight?
205
00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:48,458
Golf club gala.
206
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:52,250
- The only time they let the ladies in.
- Don't you play there?
207
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,958
Oh, God, no.
208
00:11:54,042 --> 00:11:55,875
It would be the end of civilisation.
209
00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,708
So, is your, um... is your husband out?
210
00:12:03,083 --> 00:12:06,125
I mean, back? I saw the paper.
211
00:12:08,167 --> 00:12:10,292
- Do you want me to stop coming?
- No.
212
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,333
No, no. It's...
213
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,333
It's fine, Dorothy.
214
00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:20,042
We're very happy with you, really.
215
00:12:21,917 --> 00:12:24,833
I don't want to cause your husband
any embarrassment.
216
00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:27,292
Oh, no.
No, we couldn't possibly have that.
217
00:12:27,375 --> 00:12:28,750
My husband the Councillor.
218
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,225
It's a real conundrum, though, isn't it?
219
00:12:34,042 --> 00:12:37,083
I mean, if you can't receive the BBC,
220
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,375
why should you pay the tax?
221
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:42,750
I'll see you later.
222
00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:47,893
Any time this week.
223
00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:49,893
It doesn't take five minutes
to look like this.
224
00:12:49,917 --> 00:12:51,976
- Let's just get going.
- Where's my bag?
225
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,643
- On the ottoman.
- -Have you got keys?
226
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:55,684
- We don't need keys.
- I'm not driving.
227
00:12:56,792 --> 00:13:00,375
Susan, I'm not going down.
228
00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:15,917
You'd like this one, love.
229
00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:23,875
- Get yourself in there.
- Would you take it easy?
230
00:13:23,958 --> 00:13:25,601
- Return of the prodigal son.
- Oh!
231
00:13:25,625 --> 00:13:27,059
Don't give him any money.
232
00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:28,417
I haven't got any.
233
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:29,917
Where have you two been?
234
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,833
- The green tree.
- Traitors.
235
00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:34,726
- Are you still barred from there?
- A pint in there isn't a pint.
236
00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:36,833
Oh, you could start a fight
in a ploughed field, you.
237
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,167
He accused me
of nicking their toilet rolls.
238
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,875
- You were.
- I was, aye, but he had no evidence.
239
00:13:41,958 --> 00:13:43,500
- Habeas corpus.
- You're an idiot.
240
00:13:43,583 --> 00:13:46,434
- Leave him alone, Mam.
- Fish pie, Kenny? You look thin.
241
00:13:46,458 --> 00:13:48,000
What are you fussing around him for?
242
00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:50,042
For a change from fussing around you.
243
00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:53,250
Babycham for the lady. Dad, yours.
244
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,518
- Thank you.
- A bottle of brown.
245
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,333
Now, be sure and use the coasters.
You're not in Leeds now.
246
00:13:57,417 --> 00:13:59,958
Yeah, civilisation here.
247
00:14:00,042 --> 00:14:02,750
- Put the news on, Dolly.
- We haven't got a licence.
248
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,113
Whose side are you on?
249
00:14:04,167 --> 00:14:07,417
My side.
I'm not turning that goggle-box on.
250
00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:10,375
A toast. To the Buntons.
251
00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:13,375
- Happy families.
- Happy families.
252
00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:15,309
Fans flock like swallows in the spring
253
00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:16,458
to the National Gallery...
254
00:14:16,542 --> 00:14:18,222
Not that sodding painting again.
255
00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:20,625
National treasure?
It's the poor bloody foot soldiers
256
00:14:20,708 --> 00:14:22,875
that won his battles for him
we should be celebrating.
257
00:14:22,958 --> 00:14:24,500
J“ kick down j“
258
00:14:24,583 --> 00:14:26,083
every door! I quiet.
259
00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:29,042
- that's what doors are there for '
- quiet! Quiet!
260
00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:30,667
I hope you're proud of yourself.
261
00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:33,590
They don't swallow what the establishment
tells them. I'm proud of that.
262
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:38,000
- Am I making a bed up for you?
- Aye, couple of nights, Mam.
263
00:14:38,083 --> 00:14:40,250
She'll miss you, your Dolly bird.
264
00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:42,333
Who we talking about?
265
00:14:42,417 --> 00:14:44,393
- Her that's married? Pammy?
- She's separated, Mam.
266
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,184
If she's not divorced,
she's still a married woman.
267
00:14:46,208 --> 00:14:47,500
She was only married two months.
268
00:14:47,583 --> 00:14:49,226
Don't you go down that road,
Jackie Bunton.
269
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,000
I'm the devil incarnate, me.
270
00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:53,083
We don't know anything
about your life in Leeds.
271
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:56,167
- Plenty of cash, never in work.
- I'm in construction.
272
00:14:56,250 --> 00:14:57,583
It's seasonal.
273
00:14:57,667 --> 00:14:59,351
You're always welcome here.
Back room's yours.
274
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:01,792
I wouldn't be surprised to hear
she's in the family way.
275
00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:04,792
- Oh, fuck it. I've had enough.
- I'll not have language in this house.
276
00:15:04,875 --> 00:15:07,875
- See you later, Dad. It's been lovely.
- No. I said you're welcome.
277
00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:09,518
- I'm welcome.
- Always welcome.
278
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,809
Yeah, I heard you, all right?
I'm never welcome in this house.
279
00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:13,143
I just don't want any swearing.
280
00:15:13,167 --> 00:15:14,559
You wonder
why I take months away...
281
00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:16,167
I'll go and be United Nations.
282
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:18,708
All I ask is for you just not to swear.
283
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,518
The portrait
of the first Duke of Wellington
284
00:15:20,542 --> 00:15:22,042
set a record price for a Goya.
285
00:15:22,125 --> 00:15:24,101
It was knocked down to an American
286
00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:27,708
after 90 seconds for £140,000.
287
00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:31,833
J“ ...If you don't want money? I
288
00:15:31,917 --> 00:15:34,625
j“ what do you want
if you don't want gold? J“
289
00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:48,000
I might have the body
of a weak and feeble woman...
290
00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:49,542
Elizabeth I.
291
00:15:49,625 --> 00:15:52,000
But I've got the
testicles of Henry VIII.
292
00:15:52,667 --> 00:15:56,125
You are three and tenpence short
on yesterday, Bunton.
293
00:15:56,208 --> 00:15:58,417
Aye, an old fella. Skint.
294
00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,958
Why's he taking taxis, then?
295
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,792
He's a war veteran. Can't walk.
296
00:16:01,875 --> 00:16:05,583
I am running a taxi firm, not a charity.
297
00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:08,792
- Take it out me wages.
- I've had complaints.
298
00:16:08,875 --> 00:16:13,208
One, you talk too much,
and, two, it's utter bollocks.
299
00:16:13,292 --> 00:16:16,125
You're sacked, with immediate effect.
300
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:19,042
- I haven't been paid.
- Sue me, then.
301
00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:21,167
But fuck off first.
302
00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:23,875
Oh, hello. Yes.
303
00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:27,542
I'll just take the address, please.
Thank you.
304
00:16:30,417 --> 00:16:32,917
Thank you very much. Be there in a tick.
305
00:16:34,542 --> 00:16:36,333
There is nothing more powerful
306
00:16:36,417 --> 00:16:39,833
than when a community
discovers what it cares about.
307
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:46,417
And when a man
accepts our essential interdependence,
308
00:16:47,458 --> 00:16:51,042
in that moment he, or she,
309
00:16:51,125 --> 00:16:52,583
becomes a woman.
310
00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:56,708
Or a man.
311
00:16:58,042 --> 00:16:59,750
As the case may be.
312
00:17:01,417 --> 00:17:02,708
How many have you got?
313
00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:06,042
The petition's
only one part of the campaign.
314
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:08,167
- Three?
- Well, we've just set up.
315
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:10,875
Kempton Bunton?
That's not even a real name.
316
00:17:15,083 --> 00:17:17,125
Rome wasn't built in a day, Jackie.
317
00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:20,333
But, then again, I wasn't
on that particular job.
318
00:17:20,417 --> 00:17:23,750
Oh, hello. Didn't know you
were political, Jackie Bunton.
319
00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:27,167
Yeah, it's me Dad. His latest campaign.
320
00:17:28,083 --> 00:17:29,250
Me nan would love a telly.
321
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:31,667
Why don't you sign
my petition, then, love?
322
00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:34,458
Uh... I
don't know about that.
323
00:17:37,583 --> 00:17:39,083
The hat suits ya.
324
00:17:41,792 --> 00:17:43,875
I'd like to sign, Mr Bunton.
325
00:17:45,708 --> 00:17:47,875
Unless you have any objections.
326
00:17:47,958 --> 00:17:50,500
Au contraire, Mrs Gowling. Au contraire,
327
00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:52,875
thank you.
328
00:17:52,958 --> 00:17:54,833
Now, where do I put my paw print?
329
00:17:54,917 --> 00:17:57,333
Just there, please.
330
00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:14,417
If Jackie goes to the bad,
I'm holding you responsible.
331
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,292
That'll be the straw, I promise you.
332
00:18:16,917 --> 00:18:19,917
You can do your petitions
and write your plays in prison.
333
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,375
They'll do your cooking
and your washing for you and all.
334
00:18:22,458 --> 00:18:25,083
- But I've had it.
- I've had it up to here.
335
00:18:31,792 --> 00:18:32,958
Peace offering.
336
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:50,042
- Good dunkers, them ginger nuts.
- What do you want?
337
00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:52,875
A pact.
338
00:18:54,292 --> 00:18:57,833
Two days in London. Give me two days.
339
00:18:57,917 --> 00:19:01,042
Then I'll be back for good.
Get a job. Keep me head down.
340
00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:03,333
I didn't come down
in the last shower, you know.
341
00:19:03,417 --> 00:19:04,875
Promise. Two days.
342
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:08,625
To change anything,
you have to go to parliament.
343
00:19:08,708 --> 00:19:10,583
You're wasting your life.
344
00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:12,500
How do you eat an elephant?
345
00:19:13,042 --> 00:19:16,333
- Who eats elephants?
- One bite at a time.
346
00:19:16,417 --> 00:19:17,750
Stop this.
347
00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:21,917
Please, Kempton. Please, love, please.
348
00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:27,917
I'm begging you. Stop all your agitation.
349
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,375
Two days, that's all.
350
00:19:29,458 --> 00:19:32,417
If I hit a brick wall down there,
that will be the end of it.
351
00:19:33,042 --> 00:19:34,500
Two days, that's all I need.
352
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:36,750
Then I swear to God,
it'll be the last of it.
353
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:39,125
The plays, the politics, the lot.
354
00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:42,500
Two days.
355
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:45,917
One last chance.
356
00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:13,601
Do you have an appointment?
357
00:20:13,625 --> 00:20:16,625
- He'll want to see me.
- I'm sorry?
358
00:20:16,708 --> 00:20:18,708
I've sent him my trilogy of plays,
359
00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:21,917
each one tackling a different aspect
of social injustice.
360
00:20:22,417 --> 00:20:24,875
- He's not here.
- Not here?
361
00:20:24,958 --> 00:20:26,792
He's gone to Granada.
362
00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:30,875
- Granada television?
- No, Granada in Spain.
363
00:20:32,125 --> 00:20:33,375
I could wait.
364
00:20:35,375 --> 00:20:36,458
Right.
365
00:20:46,792 --> 00:20:48,083
There you go, Sir.
366
00:20:57,708 --> 00:21:00,083
I need to speak to the boss, love.
It's urgent.
367
00:21:00,167 --> 00:21:01,458
He's over there.
368
00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:04,213
- Sir, I have a story.
- Is that right?
369
00:21:04,292 --> 00:21:06,226
- It's a campaign...
- I don't do campaigns.
370
00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:08,893
- It's about social injustice.
- I don't do social injustice.
371
00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:10,397
- Can I buy you...
- I don't do lunch.
372
00:21:13,417 --> 00:21:14,750
Another time.
373
00:21:20,417 --> 00:21:21,958
Friends, members,
374
00:21:22,042 --> 00:21:24,708
citizens of this great mother
of parliament...
375
00:21:24,792 --> 00:21:27,167
Members, representatives, reps...
376
00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:28,833
Friends, reps...
377
00:21:28,917 --> 00:21:31,083
I come here, not...
378
00:21:39,333 --> 00:21:40,333
Friends,
379
00:21:41,292 --> 00:21:42,667
fellow citizens,
380
00:21:43,458 --> 00:21:46,833
elected representatives
of this noble house,
381
00:21:46,917 --> 00:21:48,833
lend me your ears.
382
00:21:48,917 --> 00:21:52,083
- Let's just move along.
- I come not to make a protest,
383
00:21:52,167 --> 00:21:53,625
but to demand of this government...
384
00:21:53,708 --> 00:21:55,167
It's all right.
385
00:23:51,917 --> 00:23:52,958
Bugger.
386
00:24:29,583 --> 00:24:32,309
The portrait was missing
when the first shift of attendants
387
00:24:32,333 --> 00:24:34,833
reported for duty here
at 7:00 this morning.
388
00:24:34,917 --> 00:24:38,417
When the gallery closed last night,
the Goya was still in its usual place.
389
00:24:38,500 --> 00:24:41,059
The National Gallery is appealing
to anybody who was here yesterday
390
00:24:41,083 --> 00:24:44,167
and who saw anything or anybody
they think was suspicious
391
00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:45,518
to get in touch with the police.
392
00:24:45,542 --> 00:24:47,351
Will it be out of the country already,
commissioner?
393
00:24:47,375 --> 00:24:51,417
Well, looking at the degree of planning
and expertise involved,
394
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:54,542
we're convinced that the Goya
has been stolen to order
395
00:24:54,625 --> 00:24:59,667
by a well-funded, highly professional
international criminal gang.
396
00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:01,917
Any suspects so far?
397
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,750
It's not very good, is it?
398
00:25:06,708 --> 00:25:07,958
What about the police?
399
00:25:08,042 --> 00:25:10,250
No one's looking for
the Duke of Wellington in Benwell.
400
00:25:10,333 --> 00:25:12,417
Christ!
401
00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:13,500
Don't touch it!
402
00:25:14,417 --> 00:25:15,708
Jesus Christ.
403
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,625
Christ is the man we need right now.
404
00:25:19,708 --> 00:25:21,417
- How come?
- Carpenter.
405
00:25:22,167 --> 00:25:25,000
Someone who knows how
to put a false back on that wardrobe.
406
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:27,958
- I can do that.
- Get on with it, then.
407
00:25:39,375 --> 00:25:42,667
- Next up: Communication.
- Cut letters out the paper.
408
00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:43,750
No, do that,
409
00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:46,518
and you'd be telling them what paper you
read, what glue you've got in the house,
410
00:25:46,542 --> 00:25:48,583
whether you use right-
or left-handed scissors.
411
00:25:48,667 --> 00:25:50,875
That's three coordinates,
and they've got you.
412
00:25:50,958 --> 00:25:53,583
That's why this letter
cannot be posted from Newcastle.
413
00:25:53,667 --> 00:25:56,250
"Query not that I have the Goya.
414
00:25:56,333 --> 00:26:00,583
The act is an attempt to pick the pockets
of those who love art more than charity."
415
00:26:00,667 --> 00:26:03,083
Bit of Robin Hood. Like that.
416
00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:05,208
- Mam.
- Christ.
417
00:26:09,667 --> 00:26:12,500
- How was aunt Betty?
- Why are you wearing rubber gloves?
418
00:26:12,583 --> 00:26:14,667
Varnish. Been on the boat.
419
00:26:14,750 --> 00:26:17,208
- Hello, pet.
- Oh, you're back.
420
00:26:17,292 --> 00:26:19,250
Didn't bring down the government, then?
421
00:26:19,333 --> 00:26:22,000
Ah, well, I exercised my Democratic right.
422
00:26:22,083 --> 00:26:24,792
Now it's up to them.
What matters is I'm back.
423
00:26:24,875 --> 00:26:27,125
So, you'll be going
to the Labour exchange.
424
00:26:27,208 --> 00:26:29,583
Tomorrow. First thing.
Shall I put the kettle on?
425
00:26:29,667 --> 00:26:32,667
If you think it'll go with your outfit.
426
00:26:32,750 --> 00:26:36,375
So, you're gonna keep your name
out of the papers?
427
00:26:36,458 --> 00:26:38,667
Aye, well, there's no reason for me
428
00:26:38,750 --> 00:26:41,167
to be of any interest
to the press ever again.
429
00:26:41,250 --> 00:26:43,042
Why are you wearing rubber gloves?
430
00:26:44,083 --> 00:26:45,917
Uh, that blocked drain.
431
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,625
We don't have a blocked drain.
432
00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:49,375
Next door's.
433
00:26:50,083 --> 00:26:52,375
We don't talk to next door.
434
00:26:52,458 --> 00:26:54,125
You've gotta build Bridges.
435
00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:02,500
Paris, Vienna, then London...
436
00:27:02,583 --> 00:27:04,625
- I'm off.
- Where to?
437
00:27:04,708 --> 00:27:06,417
Rainbow Rooms.
438
00:27:06,500 --> 00:27:08,958
Why in God's name
would you want to go to a club
439
00:27:09,042 --> 00:27:10,684
with music and drinking and girls...
440
00:27:10,708 --> 00:27:12,184
- Take care.
- When you could stop in
441
00:27:12,208 --> 00:27:13,750
and watch telly with me and your Mam?
442
00:27:13,833 --> 00:27:15,553
Don't drink too much
if you're on that bike.
443
00:27:15,583 --> 00:27:17,101
I'll be careful. See you later, Dad.
444
00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:18,875
- And wear your helmet.
- Bye.
445
00:27:24,792 --> 00:27:26,125
Now, then.
446
00:27:26,208 --> 00:27:27,875
Oh, no. What have I done?
447
00:27:27,958 --> 00:27:31,417
Kempton Bunton, I want you to swear to me
448
00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:33,542
that you've given up all your nonsense.
449
00:27:33,625 --> 00:27:34,917
I swear.
450
00:27:35,833 --> 00:27:37,917
- I swear.
- Promise.
451
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,125
Dolly, love, I've learnt my lesson.
452
00:27:40,208 --> 00:27:41,500
No more secrets?
453
00:27:41,583 --> 00:27:45,083
Nothing. Rien. Nada. I promise.
454
00:27:46,417 --> 00:27:50,792
Meanwhile, the hunt
for the missing Goya portrait continues.
455
00:27:50,875 --> 00:27:53,583
I feel I can profile the thief
pretty well.
456
00:27:53,667 --> 00:27:55,750
He's most likely highly physically tuned,
457
00:27:55,833 --> 00:27:58,375
almost certainly a trained commando,
458
00:27:58,458 --> 00:27:59,542
or ex-special forces.
459
00:28:01,708 --> 00:28:04,208
- You all right?
- Do you expect the criminals
460
00:28:04,292 --> 00:28:06,208
- to eventually make contact?
- Bit of biscuit.
461
00:28:06,292 --> 00:28:09,542
We are expecting
some communication from the thieves.
462
00:28:09,625 --> 00:28:11,792
When it comes, we will respond.
463
00:28:15,250 --> 00:28:19,375
You remember fat Stan,
track marshal at the dogs?
464
00:28:19,458 --> 00:28:20,458
What?
465
00:28:20,542 --> 00:28:24,833
Well, his brother-in-law, Gert,
nice fella, Dutch,
466
00:28:24,917 --> 00:28:28,958
well, he's foreman
at this plastics injection moulding plant,
467
00:28:29,042 --> 00:28:31,667
and he said to fat Stan
that there's a job going.
468
00:28:31,750 --> 00:28:33,333
But it's 10:00 at night.
469
00:28:34,083 --> 00:28:37,000
- He's on nights.
- Who? Gert or Stan?
470
00:28:37,583 --> 00:28:39,458
Stan. I mean Gert.
471
00:28:40,542 --> 00:28:43,833
He's night-shift foreman. At night.
472
00:28:46,667 --> 00:28:49,667
I wouldn't expect I'll be long,
but don't wait up.
473
00:28:52,167 --> 00:28:54,000
And as the noose tightens...
474
00:28:54,083 --> 00:28:56,250
- Ta-ra!
- Around the gang responsible,
475
00:28:56,333 --> 00:29:00,458
the National Gallery announce
a £5,000 reward...
476
00:29:00,542 --> 00:29:02,000
For information.
477
00:29:12,125 --> 00:29:14,458
- How far are you going?
- Morecambe Bay.
478
00:29:14,542 --> 00:29:16,833
Morecambe Bay will be just champion.
479
00:29:22,250 --> 00:29:23,958
Would you like a wine gum?
480
00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:20,500
What are you doing?
481
00:31:22,667 --> 00:31:24,042
Have you read this one?
482
00:31:25,625 --> 00:31:28,167
- What's it called?
- The girl on the bicycle.
483
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,958
No. And I don't think you should either.
484
00:31:33,042 --> 00:31:36,250
- So you have read it?
- He's told me what it's about.
485
00:31:36,333 --> 00:31:37,708
Making money out of our grief.
486
00:31:37,792 --> 00:31:39,667
- It's just writing.
- Well, it's wrong.
487
00:31:39,750 --> 00:31:42,625
Well, what else can he do?
You'll never talk about it.
488
00:31:42,708 --> 00:31:45,500
What's there to talk about?
It's done, isn't it?
489
00:31:47,833 --> 00:31:49,000
She's dead.
490
00:31:57,667 --> 00:31:59,000
I'm back!
491
00:32:06,250 --> 00:32:07,833
Where'd you find that?
492
00:32:07,917 --> 00:32:09,792
In the wardrobe in the back room.
493
00:32:10,417 --> 00:32:12,167
What were you doing in there?
494
00:32:12,250 --> 00:32:13,375
I live here.
495
00:32:26,458 --> 00:32:29,333
They've got that West Side Story on
at the ABC, Percy Street.
496
00:32:29,417 --> 00:32:30,500
Do you fancy it tomorrow?
497
00:32:30,583 --> 00:32:33,500
We can't afford to waste money
going to the pictures.
498
00:32:45,500 --> 00:32:49,292
It's Romeo and Juliet,
but with singing and dancing,
499
00:32:49,375 --> 00:32:52,250
and it's set in New York,
not Stratford-upon-Avon.
500
00:32:57,042 --> 00:32:59,292
- How far have you got?
- Far enough.
501
00:32:59,375 --> 00:33:00,375
It's not Marian.
502
00:33:00,458 --> 00:33:02,667
There's a girl, dies in a bicycle crash.
503
00:33:02,750 --> 00:33:05,042
That girl's knocked off her bike
by a bus in town.
504
00:33:05,125 --> 00:33:07,792
Our Marian came off her bike
going downhill in the country.
505
00:33:07,875 --> 00:33:09,715
- Who's read this?
- Nobody, I shouldn't think.
506
00:33:09,792 --> 00:33:11,583
I've only sent one copy out.
507
00:33:12,250 --> 00:33:13,500
Who to?
508
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,833
Telly.
509
00:33:17,333 --> 00:33:20,250
So the world and his wife's gonna know.
510
00:33:20,333 --> 00:33:23,083
- You've never let me talk about it.
- Grief's private.
511
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:26,625
I bought her that bike. If I'd got her
anything else, she'd still be alive.
512
00:33:26,708 --> 00:33:28,125
Well, she isn't.
513
00:34:12,167 --> 00:34:13,375
Carry on.
514
00:34:13,458 --> 00:34:16,375
Pedal. That's it! Go on!
515
00:34:16,458 --> 00:34:19,042
Keep going! Keep going!
516
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,292
Well done!
517
00:34:25,542 --> 00:34:26,833
He's not a writer.
518
00:34:26,917 --> 00:34:28,792
He has pretensions, but he can't write.
519
00:34:29,458 --> 00:34:31,875
- Where was it posted?
- Morecambe.
520
00:34:31,958 --> 00:34:33,917
He's not an educated man.
521
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,875
Could he be Italian?
522
00:34:35,958 --> 00:34:37,833
No. British. Northern.
523
00:34:37,917 --> 00:34:39,458
This comma here tells us a lot.
524
00:34:39,542 --> 00:34:41,042
How do you mean?
525
00:34:41,125 --> 00:34:44,042
It's gratuitous.
It evidences poor education.
526
00:34:44,125 --> 00:34:45,958
- He's an autodidact.
- A car mechanic?
527
00:34:47,417 --> 00:34:50,333
He's self-taught, over a lifetime.
528
00:34:50,417 --> 00:34:52,208
I'd put him somewhere in his late 503.
529
00:34:52,292 --> 00:34:55,292
So, uh, what's his mental state, then?
530
00:34:56,417 --> 00:35:00,500
"The act is an attempt to pick the pockets
of those who love art more than charity."
531
00:35:01,375 --> 00:35:03,875
He's a fantasist
who believes he's an idealist.
532
00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:05,542
A kind of Don Quixote.
533
00:35:05,625 --> 00:35:07,917
Oh, the, uh... the windmill fella.
534
00:35:09,042 --> 00:35:12,333
He'll be active in his community,
known for his local campaigns.
535
00:35:12,417 --> 00:35:15,458
Parking, litter, pub hours,
that sort of thing.
536
00:35:15,542 --> 00:35:17,458
Thank you. That's very helpful.
537
00:35:19,583 --> 00:35:20,750
My pleasure.
538
00:35:22,875 --> 00:35:25,000
- Could someone sign me out?
- I wouldn't dare.
539
00:35:25,083 --> 00:35:27,125
You'd be telling everybody
what I had for breakfast.
540
00:35:33,750 --> 00:35:36,125
- Nice arse.
- You're a married man, reg.
541
00:35:36,208 --> 00:35:38,250
I can look at the menu
as long as I eat at home.
542
00:35:38,333 --> 00:35:39,973
So has this fella got the painting, then?
543
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,792
Time-wasting bastard.
He's just after the reward.
544
00:35:42,875 --> 00:35:43,875
Yeah.
545
00:35:43,958 --> 00:35:45,583
The Italians still favourite, then?
546
00:35:45,667 --> 00:35:47,708
That's where the clever money is.
547
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,083
- My first day.
- Might be your last.
548
00:36:10,458 --> 00:36:11,976
Watch these ones, man.
549
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,417
They're fast. Get three like bricks, yeah?
550
00:36:20,333 --> 00:36:22,583
In the future,
they'll have robots doing this.
551
00:36:22,667 --> 00:36:24,625
Yeah, I can't wait.
552
00:36:24,708 --> 00:36:28,833
The likes of me and you
will spend our day developing our minds
553
00:36:28,917 --> 00:36:31,083
with literature and orchestra! Concerts.
554
00:36:31,167 --> 00:36:34,042
Look, please, just keep up.
555
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:36,333
Come on, mind your bloomers.
556
00:36:36,417 --> 00:36:39,497
- It's his first day, Mr Walker.
- Ah, well, you can watch it and all.
557
00:36:39,542 --> 00:36:41,792
Still getting used to your lot
touching our white loaves.
558
00:36:41,875 --> 00:36:43,583
- Eh?
- Yes, Sir.
559
00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:45,500
Come on.
560
00:36:52,083 --> 00:36:53,167
Buggen
561
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,833
'King hell. Nothing.
562
00:37:08,250 --> 00:37:10,000
Don't you want them papers, mister?
563
00:37:10,667 --> 00:37:12,458
No, you have them, bonny lad.
564
00:37:12,542 --> 00:37:14,875
Good firelighters,
but you won't find any of them
565
00:37:14,958 --> 00:37:16,625
speaking truth to power.
566
00:37:18,208 --> 00:37:20,208
What you playing, lads? Tip and run?
567
00:37:21,125 --> 00:37:23,417
- Can I have a bowl?
- No, you're all right, pops.
568
00:37:41,167 --> 00:37:42,167
Christ.
569
00:37:58,042 --> 00:38:02,208
You are Kempton Bunton
and I claim me £5,000 reward.
570
00:38:02,292 --> 00:38:04,333
Daft bugger. I nearly shit myself.
571
00:38:05,125 --> 00:38:06,708
What did you open it up for?
572
00:38:06,792 --> 00:38:10,208
No reaction to my first communication,
so I took the ticket off the back,
573
00:38:10,292 --> 00:38:11,917
proof positive that I've got it.
574
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,917
This to the workingman's paper,
the Daily Mirror.
575
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,958
Mam.
576
00:38:17,042 --> 00:38:18,643
Quick, quick. Sort this lot out.
577
00:38:18,667 --> 00:38:19,708
What?
578
00:38:27,583 --> 00:38:32,125
and round about 11:00
my idea of heaven is a nice cup of tea I
579
00:38:32,208 --> 00:38:33,851
I like a nice cup of tea... “
580
00:38:33,875 --> 00:38:35,542
oh, stop it, you daft brush.
581
00:38:35,625 --> 00:38:36,917
Anyhow, it's half-3:00.
582
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:40,500
You were a beautiful dancer.
Graceful, fluid.
583
00:38:40,583 --> 00:38:42,458
- I wasn't that good.
- You were that good.
584
00:38:42,542 --> 00:38:44,208
Ginger Rogers of Whitley Bay.
585
00:38:44,292 --> 00:38:46,625
I always said we should have
entered them competitions.
586
00:38:46,708 --> 00:38:49,208
- We'd never have won.
- Swept the board.
587
00:38:49,292 --> 00:38:50,292
Hmm.
588
00:38:50,375 --> 00:38:53,042
You're looking at Hollisons'
new star baker.
589
00:38:53,125 --> 00:38:54,708
Hollisons? I thought it was plastics.
590
00:38:54,792 --> 00:38:57,958
No. I'm Lord Bunton of the baps.
Number two oven man.
591
00:38:58,042 --> 00:39:00,708
- Much better. You can't eat plastic.
- So will it be regular?
592
00:39:00,792 --> 00:39:04,083
Aye. I've taken to it
like a swan to water.
593
00:39:04,167 --> 00:39:06,542
And a free loaf every day.
594
00:39:06,625 --> 00:39:08,958
- Tomorrow, a pork pie.
- Pork pie?
595
00:39:09,042 --> 00:39:10,917
- Slightly damaged.
- You're slightly damaged.
596
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,542
Today, 14-ounce Danish.
597
00:39:14,208 --> 00:39:16,375
Slightly damaged?
598
00:39:16,458 --> 00:39:19,333
Light and airy,
for ladies who are watching their figure.
599
00:39:19,417 --> 00:39:22,559
- Yeah, I'm not, though, am I?
- You're better off wobbling than rattling.
600
00:39:50,625 --> 00:39:54,292
Jackie Bunton,
is this your idea of a Saturday night out?
601
00:39:54,375 --> 00:39:56,583
Just wait, would you? Come on, follow me.
602
00:39:58,833 --> 00:39:59,875
Jackie...
603
00:40:01,708 --> 00:40:04,333
- What are you doing?
- Madam, care to view?
604
00:40:13,375 --> 00:40:14,500
Gosh.
605
00:40:17,542 --> 00:40:18,875
What do you think?
606
00:40:20,375 --> 00:40:21,792
Yours, are they?
607
00:40:22,750 --> 00:40:24,333
One day, aye.
608
00:40:30,167 --> 00:40:31,792
That's what I wanna do.
609
00:40:33,333 --> 00:40:35,125
Build boats like this.
610
00:40:36,125 --> 00:40:37,292
On the Tyne?
611
00:40:37,958 --> 00:40:38,958
Nah.
612
00:40:39,708 --> 00:40:43,417
California, New Zealand, Australia.
613
00:40:45,917 --> 00:40:47,542
You just wanna get away.
614
00:40:53,500 --> 00:40:56,958
Mam wants me to wear a shirt and tie,
and Dad wants me to punch the Pope.
615
00:40:57,042 --> 00:40:59,375
What's the Pope done to upset your Dad?
616
00:41:00,417 --> 00:41:03,333
The Pope, Prime Minister...
617
00:41:23,542 --> 00:41:24,875
Dolly, love,
618
00:41:24,958 --> 00:41:28,917
it's bad enough me having to get up at
the crack of a sparrow's fart, but you...
619
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,292
Don't mind.
620
00:41:30,375 --> 00:41:34,542
A full English breakfast
served by an Irish Rose.
621
00:41:34,625 --> 00:41:36,542
Eat up. You're late.
622
00:41:36,625 --> 00:41:39,750
Oh, that's the shipping ticket
that was attached to the back of the Goya.
623
00:41:39,833 --> 00:41:41,708
And he sent it to...
624
00:41:41,792 --> 00:41:43,500
The Daily Mirror, Home Secretary.
625
00:41:43,583 --> 00:41:45,292
So an arrest is imminent?
626
00:41:45,375 --> 00:41:47,542
Uh, not as such.
627
00:41:48,417 --> 00:41:50,875
But we know where this note was posted?
628
00:41:50,958 --> 00:41:53,750
- Oh, central Birmingham.
- The Italians?
629
00:41:55,250 --> 00:41:58,917
We're re-evaluating
that aspect of the enquiry, Sir.
630
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,583
But we can pinpoint precisely
the whereabouts of this person?
631
00:42:03,375 --> 00:42:06,542
Well, Sir, we're pretty sure he resides
between Morecambe and Birmingham
632
00:42:06,625 --> 00:42:10,208
and has travelled in that area
at some time for work.
633
00:42:10,292 --> 00:42:13,667
So he could be one
of about 23 million people?
634
00:42:14,458 --> 00:42:17,167
If he's still in the area, yes, Sir.
635
00:42:19,083 --> 00:42:20,375
"The Duke is safe,"
636
00:42:20,458 --> 00:42:22,958
his temperature cared for,
his future uncertain.
637
00:42:23,042 --> 00:42:25,708
We ask that some
nonconformist type of person
638
00:42:25,792 --> 00:42:27,792
with the sportitude of a Billy Butlin
639
00:42:27,875 --> 00:42:30,333
"and the fearless fortitude
of a Montgomery..."
640
00:42:30,417 --> 00:42:33,417
Sportitude, fortitude.
The man's a bloody poet.
641
00:42:33,500 --> 00:42:36,208
Perhaps we can lock
W. H. Auden up at last.
642
00:42:36,292 --> 00:42:38,625
What's he actually asking for?
643
00:42:41,750 --> 00:42:45,250
£140,000, Home Secretary.
644
00:42:45,333 --> 00:42:47,708
Good grief. For what?
645
00:42:47,792 --> 00:42:50,000
Charity. As yet unspecified.
646
00:42:50,583 --> 00:42:52,125
Clearly a lunatic.
647
00:42:52,208 --> 00:42:54,250
Well, we will, of course,
follow any credible...
648
00:42:54,333 --> 00:42:56,000
- Be quiet, MacPherson.
- Sir.
649
00:42:56,083 --> 00:42:58,750
Gentlemen,
I'm fully prepared for martyrdom,
650
00:42:58,833 --> 00:43:00,958
but I would rather like it delayed.
651
00:43:01,042 --> 00:43:03,417
And you chaps, I believe,
need to keep your jobs.
652
00:43:03,500 --> 00:43:05,250
So we'll meet again in 48 hours
653
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:08,833
when you will tell me of the very
significant progress you have made
654
00:43:08,917 --> 00:43:12,292
in solving this extremely serious crime.
655
00:43:12,375 --> 00:43:13,958
Yes, Home Secretary.
656
00:43:32,292 --> 00:43:33,417
I'm back.
657
00:43:35,208 --> 00:43:37,333
Where have you been?
658
00:43:38,583 --> 00:43:41,875
Large white sliced. Slightly damaged.
659
00:43:46,042 --> 00:43:47,583
This came for you.
660
00:43:51,333 --> 00:43:53,333
The BBC. The play.
661
00:43:53,875 --> 00:43:56,167
The one that's not about the accident.
662
00:43:56,250 --> 00:43:58,583
They'll be wanting me
to go down to London
663
00:43:59,208 --> 00:44:00,792
to supervise the production.
664
00:44:04,125 --> 00:44:06,375
"Thank you for giving the drama department"
665
00:44:06,458 --> 00:44:09,625
the opportunity of reading
your intriguing play.
666
00:44:10,500 --> 00:44:13,875
Unfortunately,
it is difficult to find an audience
667
00:44:13,958 --> 00:44:15,917
"for plays about grief."
668
00:44:20,125 --> 00:44:22,292
Whoever they get to read plays
can't be writers,
669
00:44:22,375 --> 00:44:23,875
that's all I can say.
670
00:44:26,583 --> 00:44:28,250
Well, whoever they are,
671
00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:31,542
well, maybe it's best they've said no.
672
00:44:44,542 --> 00:44:46,167
What's for tea?
673
00:44:46,250 --> 00:44:48,292
- Sausage and mash.
- Grand.
674
00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:50,750
Prial of Kings.
675
00:44:52,333 --> 00:44:53,417
Akqua.
676
00:44:54,750 --> 00:44:56,708
What a steaming pile of shite.
677
00:44:59,583 --> 00:45:02,125
- Prial of Aces.
- What? No.
678
00:45:02,208 --> 00:45:03,958
There he is.
679
00:45:04,625 --> 00:45:08,542
I might have known. Mr Akram.
You still on paki time, are you?
680
00:45:08,625 --> 00:45:10,559
- No, Sir.
- You've had your ten minutes.
681
00:45:10,583 --> 00:45:12,667
- Sorry, Sir.
- Let him finish the game.
682
00:45:12,750 --> 00:45:13,750
You what?
683
00:45:13,833 --> 00:45:15,559
Me and Javid broke at the same time.
684
00:45:15,583 --> 00:45:17,125
Kempton, please, it don't matter.
685
00:45:17,208 --> 00:45:20,375
It does matter. We get a 15-minute break
and we've only had nine minutes of it.
686
00:45:20,458 --> 00:45:21,976
You don't understand.
It's different for me...
687
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,875
Are you accusing me
of racialist discrimination?
688
00:45:24,958 --> 00:45:26,250
No, no, no, no, no.
689
00:45:26,333 --> 00:45:28,583
Hey, hey. I like pakis, me.
690
00:45:28,667 --> 00:45:30,292
I mean, if it wasn't for your lot,
691
00:45:30,375 --> 00:45:33,917
well, I wouldn't be able to get
a pint of milk on a Christmas morning, eh?
692
00:45:35,375 --> 00:45:37,083
I going back up now, Sir.
693
00:45:37,792 --> 00:45:39,042
Sit down, Bunton.
694
00:45:40,292 --> 00:45:41,708
You can finish your game.
695
00:45:41,792 --> 00:45:44,417
"I will not let anyone
walk through my mind
696
00:45:44,500 --> 00:45:45,917
with their dirty feet."
697
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,542
Mahatma Gandhi.
698
00:45:51,667 --> 00:45:54,958
Well, that is brilliant, that is.
699
00:45:56,333 --> 00:45:57,958
I'll tell you what, Bunton.
700
00:45:58,042 --> 00:46:00,667
Get your card, clock off and fuck off.
701
00:46:01,833 --> 00:46:04,083
You can have as long a break
as you want then.
702
00:46:15,292 --> 00:46:17,583
Can I have one
of them pork pies, please, pet?
703
00:46:17,667 --> 00:46:19,458
Yeah, one pork pie. Anything else?
704
00:46:19,542 --> 00:46:20,792
No, thank you.
705
00:46:22,417 --> 00:46:24,917
Uh, can you just damage it a bit, please?
706
00:46:25,792 --> 00:46:26,792
Damage it?
707
00:46:26,875 --> 00:46:28,917
Just chip a bit of pastry off the side.
708
00:46:30,250 --> 00:46:32,500
- Uh, I can.
- Thank you.
709
00:46:40,875 --> 00:46:42,042
Rag and bone!
710
00:46:50,500 --> 00:46:52,792
Just a pub. A stupid, petty crime.
711
00:46:58,542 --> 00:46:59,792
Where were you?
712
00:47:00,500 --> 00:47:02,333
So what's your answer to that, then?
713
00:47:07,250 --> 00:47:08,417
What you doing here?
714
00:47:08,500 --> 00:47:10,542
Stopping over for a couple of nights, Dad.
715
00:47:10,625 --> 00:47:13,375
- This is Pammy.
- Hiya, Mr Bunton.
716
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,917
- What do you want?
- Talking to your lad.
717
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:20,083
- In a bedroom?
- Well, when we knocked on the front door,
718
00:47:20,167 --> 00:47:23,042
Pamela here didn't seem to think
your Kenny was at home.
719
00:47:23,125 --> 00:47:25,333
But would you believe it,
we found him up here.
720
00:47:25,417 --> 00:47:27,958
- Shall we all go downstairs?
- We're all right.
721
00:47:28,917 --> 00:47:32,458
Kenny should have given evidence yesterday
at Leeds crown court.
722
00:47:32,542 --> 00:47:34,042
But he did a runner.
723
00:47:34,125 --> 00:47:36,625
- What you done, Kenneth?
- Me? Nothing.
724
00:47:36,708 --> 00:47:38,667
They want me to grass up a pal of mine.
725
00:47:39,417 --> 00:47:41,125
You need a witness summons, then.
726
00:47:41,208 --> 00:47:43,625
Has everyone in this family
got a law degree?
727
00:47:43,708 --> 00:47:48,000
I'm not legally qualified as such.
I'm more a talented amateur.
728
00:47:48,083 --> 00:47:51,500
One witness summons. Leeds crown court.
729
00:47:51,583 --> 00:47:52,833
Thursday.
730
00:47:52,917 --> 00:47:54,167
Thank you.
731
00:47:54,750 --> 00:47:56,542
We'll see ourselves out.
732
00:47:57,042 --> 00:47:58,333
Ta-ra, boys.
733
00:47:58,875 --> 00:48:00,083
Ta-ra.
734
00:48:03,708 --> 00:48:06,042
You can't stay in this room.
I write in here.
735
00:48:06,125 --> 00:48:09,083
Well, Mam said it would be all right.
736
00:48:09,167 --> 00:48:11,583
- Where is she?
- Shops. I give her some money.
737
00:48:12,125 --> 00:48:14,000
Not enough dinner now we're here.
738
00:48:15,292 --> 00:48:18,292
Dinner's what they have down south.
Up here, it's tea.
739
00:48:19,917 --> 00:48:23,292
I'm against hanging on principle,
unless it's for something really serious.
740
00:48:23,375 --> 00:48:24,958
That doesn't even make sense.
741
00:48:25,042 --> 00:48:27,917
- Are you saying I'm thick?
- You know you're thick.
742
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,375
Kenny's mate stole a car, Dolly.
743
00:48:30,458 --> 00:48:32,250
He won't be hung for that.
744
00:48:32,333 --> 00:48:33,833
- "Hanged."
- Huh?
745
00:48:35,667 --> 00:48:37,167
It's "hanged."
746
00:48:42,125 --> 00:48:43,805
I love your toad-in-the-hole, Mam.
747
00:48:43,833 --> 00:48:44,958
Thank you, Jackie.
748
00:48:45,583 --> 00:48:50,208
So, Pamela, what is your
current domestic situation?
749
00:48:50,292 --> 00:48:51,583
Give it a rest, Mam.
750
00:48:51,667 --> 00:48:53,500
I work for Mrs Gowling.
751
00:48:53,583 --> 00:48:56,917
That's the wife of Councillor Gowling.
You may have heard of him.
752
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,309
And what's it got to do with him?
753
00:48:58,333 --> 00:48:59,976
It's the difference
between right and wrong.
754
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:01,500
Dad.
755
00:49:01,583 --> 00:49:02,851
I agree with your mother.
756
00:49:02,875 --> 00:49:05,500
It would be wrong for you two
to be living in sin under our roof.
757
00:49:06,083 --> 00:49:08,958
What's happened to you?
You'll be voting Tory next.
758
00:49:12,333 --> 00:49:14,375
Play for today's on in five minutes.
759
00:49:15,583 --> 00:49:16,833
We can't get BBC.
760
00:49:17,542 --> 00:49:18,583
Why not?
761
00:49:18,667 --> 00:49:20,417
Dad took the band-one coil out.
762
00:49:20,500 --> 00:49:23,875
If you can't get the BBC,
you don't have to have a licence.
763
00:49:23,958 --> 00:49:26,375
But you've got one sellotaped
to the side of your television.
764
00:49:26,458 --> 00:49:28,875
- No, we haven't.
- That's mine.
765
00:49:30,208 --> 00:49:31,833
What did you do that for?
766
00:49:32,625 --> 00:49:34,125
To be normal.
767
00:49:34,208 --> 00:49:35,708
Just fit the gizmo back in, then.
768
00:49:37,208 --> 00:49:38,792
Dad's lost the coil.
769
00:49:38,875 --> 00:49:42,208
So you pay for a television licence
and you still can't receive BBC?
770
00:49:42,292 --> 00:49:43,893
Oh, we don't like play for today.
771
00:49:43,917 --> 00:49:46,958
It's just an excuse
for a lot of bad behaviour.
772
00:49:50,833 --> 00:49:52,667
Have you set your alarm, love?
773
00:49:53,167 --> 00:49:54,333
What for?
774
00:49:54,417 --> 00:49:56,792
Aren't you 6:00 to 2:00 tomorrow?
775
00:49:56,875 --> 00:49:58,375
Aye, aye, you're right.
776
00:49:59,958 --> 00:50:01,083
Belt and braces.
777
00:50:01,167 --> 00:50:02,809
Sandwich loaf tomorrow, if you can manage.
778
00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:03,750
No problem.
779
00:50:03,833 --> 00:50:05,513
No, I'm not! Oh, will you piss off!
780
00:50:05,583 --> 00:50:06,833
Language!
781
00:50:07,375 --> 00:50:09,583
She's got a nerve.
782
00:50:09,667 --> 00:50:11,875
Count your blessings they're only arguing.
783
00:50:17,875 --> 00:50:21,333
Meet the quality street gang
sizing up the works of art.
784
00:50:21,417 --> 00:50:25,583
The boss.
Very smooth, but inside he's a hard nut.
785
00:50:25,667 --> 00:50:27,417
And fingers. Slim, elegant fingers.
786
00:50:27,500 --> 00:50:28,667
Everything he touches...
787
00:50:29,833 --> 00:50:33,083
It must have been a great source
of anxiety to the National Gallery staff.
788
00:50:33,167 --> 00:50:35,750
Have you, in fact, ever had
a painting stolen before?
789
00:50:35,833 --> 00:50:37,208
Never, never.
790
00:50:47,500 --> 00:50:48,750
Ta.
791
00:50:48,833 --> 00:50:51,143
- About the thieves themselves?
- Well, we don't think
792
00:50:51,167 --> 00:50:54,042
that they were professional criminals
in the strict sense...
793
00:50:54,542 --> 00:50:56,083
- Doll?
- What?
794
00:50:56,167 --> 00:50:58,042
Misguided people...
795
00:50:58,125 --> 00:50:59,125
What?
796
00:50:59,208 --> 00:51:00,934
They spoke of, uh, charity in their note.
797
00:51:00,958 --> 00:51:01,958
Nothing.
798
00:51:02,042 --> 00:51:04,958
The best form of charity they could do
would be to return the picture...
799
00:51:28,167 --> 00:51:30,042
Oh, yeah.
800
00:51:31,458 --> 00:51:33,042
You like that, all I'll say.
801
00:51:42,958 --> 00:51:44,583
Shh.
802
00:51:51,833 --> 00:51:53,042
I need a piss.
803
00:51:53,625 --> 00:51:55,625
And I thought you were Cary Grant.
804
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:38,833
- You beauty.
- Dad!
805
00:52:38,917 --> 00:52:41,625
Three horse accumulator! Twenty quid!
806
00:52:41,708 --> 00:52:44,375
The mirror. They're making you an offer.
807
00:52:46,917 --> 00:52:49,167
I give them the painting,
they put on an exhibition,
808
00:52:49,250 --> 00:52:50,792
charge the public to see the Duke
809
00:52:50,875 --> 00:52:52,917
and give me the proceeds. Bingo!
810
00:52:53,417 --> 00:52:54,917
How much will an exhibition raise?
811
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,833
30,000... 50,000. Who knows?
812
00:52:57,917 --> 00:53:00,583
The painting's not been
out the news, has it?
813
00:53:00,667 --> 00:53:04,375
I'll be able to pay for
God knows how many TV licences.
814
00:53:05,042 --> 00:53:07,458
You're not really gonna use it all
on telly licences?
815
00:53:07,542 --> 00:53:09,708
- Why not?
- Just saying.
816
00:53:09,792 --> 00:53:11,750
Who couldn't make use
of a couple of grand?
817
00:53:11,833 --> 00:53:14,667
- You think Robin hood took a rake-off?
- Aye.
818
00:53:14,750 --> 00:53:16,667
Jackie. Robin hood?
819
00:53:17,292 --> 00:53:19,083
What if they're in it with the coppers?
820
00:53:19,167 --> 00:53:20,625
You give them the painting,
821
00:53:20,708 --> 00:53:22,583
they don't cough up and they shop you.
822
00:53:23,125 --> 00:53:24,292
The mirror?
823
00:53:25,042 --> 00:53:27,250
This is the workers' paper, Jackie lad.
824
00:53:27,333 --> 00:53:29,167
How are you gonna get them the painting?
825
00:53:29,792 --> 00:53:32,667
Well, I'll worry about that tomorrow.
Tonight, celebration.
826
00:53:32,750 --> 00:53:34,208
Fish supper, family outing.
827
00:53:34,292 --> 00:53:36,083
No, but, Dad, Irene's coming round.
828
00:53:36,708 --> 00:53:38,833
The more the merrier. Bring her along.
829
00:53:39,833 --> 00:53:41,292
80, Mrs Bunton,
830
00:53:41,375 --> 00:53:43,333
how did you and Mr Bunton meet?
831
00:53:43,417 --> 00:53:45,333
In his mother's pub in Tynemouth.
832
00:53:45,417 --> 00:53:47,500
He wiped me table four times.
833
00:53:47,583 --> 00:53:49,875
It worked. You came back.
834
00:53:49,958 --> 00:53:52,250
When she saw he was sweet on me,
his mother said,
835
00:53:52,333 --> 00:53:54,000
"some of his faults are good faults."
836
00:53:54,083 --> 00:53:56,351
Why can't we go to the seaside?
837
00:53:56,375 --> 00:53:57,375
How far's Tynemouth?
838
00:53:57,458 --> 00:54:00,258
Ah, you wouldn't wanna be dragged
by your balls from here to Tynemouth.
839
00:54:00,292 --> 00:54:02,458
Kenneth, language.
840
00:54:02,542 --> 00:54:05,292
Irene's new to the family,
and she hasn't been married.
841
00:54:05,375 --> 00:54:08,458
No, I'm still looking
for me prince charming.
842
00:54:08,542 --> 00:54:10,375
Good luck finding him in Benwell.
843
00:54:10,458 --> 00:54:13,208
- Benwell village.
- Oh, you're so posh, Mam.
844
00:54:13,917 --> 00:54:15,583
Here, we'll carry you.
845
00:54:15,667 --> 00:54:17,208
No, don't! Oh, my God!
846
00:54:18,458 --> 00:54:20,309
- Carriage for the queen!
- Stop it.
847
00:54:20,333 --> 00:54:21,792
You're daft in the head.
848
00:54:21,875 --> 00:54:24,333
Make way for the queen!
Here she is.
849
00:54:24,417 --> 00:54:26,817
Go on, Queen of Benwell village!
Come on, wave to the public.
850
00:54:26,958 --> 00:54:29,042
J“ I have loved you more each day j“
851
00:54:29,125 --> 00:54:32,417
walking back to happiness, woopah...
852
00:54:32,500 --> 00:54:35,667
Four pie and chips,
two COD and chips, mushy peas, three,
853
00:54:35,750 --> 00:54:37,542
and two pots of tea, please.
854
00:54:37,625 --> 00:54:39,268
- Four pie and chips...
- Hello, pet.
855
00:54:39,292 --> 00:54:40,833
Two COD and chips, three mushy peas
856
00:54:40,917 --> 00:54:42,768
- and two pots of tea.
- I'm going for a piss.
857
00:54:42,792 --> 00:54:44,472
On second thoughts, I'd prefer a lemonade.
858
00:54:44,500 --> 00:54:47,208
- And a lemonade, please, pet.
- And a lemonade!
859
00:54:47,292 --> 00:54:49,250
- Anything else?
- What you gonna do with it?
860
00:54:49,333 --> 00:54:50,375
- What?
- The painting.
861
00:54:51,917 --> 00:54:53,750
- What painting?
- Oh, I don't know.
862
00:54:53,833 --> 00:54:57,250
The painting of the Duke of Wellington
by Francisco José de Goya.
863
00:54:59,667 --> 00:55:00,708
What are you suggesting?
864
00:55:00,792 --> 00:55:02,958
I'm suggesting that if you were
to move the painting
865
00:55:03,042 --> 00:55:05,250
somewhere neutral, safe, out the house,
866
00:55:05,333 --> 00:55:09,208
I could tell the authorities where it is
and we could split the 5,000 reward.
867
00:55:09,833 --> 00:55:13,625
- Or?
- Or you can hang on to it,
868
00:55:13,708 --> 00:55:15,458
and one day
some very public-minded citizen
869
00:55:15,542 --> 00:55:17,667
tells the police everything
and gets all the money.
870
00:55:17,750 --> 00:55:19,351
But we wouldn't want that
to happen, would we?
871
00:55:19,375 --> 00:55:22,667
Because I like you,
and you would have to go to prison.
872
00:55:22,750 --> 00:55:25,208
- Two and a half thousand?
- Each.
873
00:55:25,292 --> 00:55:26,875
I can't do what I need to do
874
00:55:26,958 --> 00:55:28,976
- with two and a half grand.
- What do you wanna do?
875
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,208
- Help people.
- Oh, help yourself, more like.
876
00:55:32,375 --> 00:55:35,000
- Are you short of money?
- Who isn't?
877
00:55:35,083 --> 00:55:37,333
four specials, four COD and chips,
878
00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:38,417
two mushy peas...
879
00:55:39,750 --> 00:55:41,292
She knows about it.
880
00:55:41,375 --> 00:55:42,375
What?
881
00:55:42,458 --> 00:55:43,583
The Duke.
882
00:55:44,083 --> 00:55:45,250
- Who? Mam?
- Pammy.
883
00:55:45,333 --> 00:55:47,393
She's after the reward money.
She wants to split it with me.
884
00:55:47,417 --> 00:55:49,667
- But what about the mirror offer?
- I know. I know.
885
00:55:49,750 --> 00:55:51,792
But if she goes to the police now,
we're done for.
886
00:55:51,875 --> 00:55:54,458
If I take it back tonight,
maybe they'll go easy on me.
887
00:55:56,583 --> 00:55:58,917
- Well, what'll you tell Mam?
- What can I tell her?
888
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,375
Here, I'm gonna slip back.
Keep them entertained.
889
00:56:01,458 --> 00:56:02,851
What am I supposed to do? You can't...
890
00:56:02,875 --> 00:56:04,792
I don't know. Take them to the green tree.
891
00:56:16,250 --> 00:56:17,417
Kempton?
892
00:56:38,833 --> 00:56:39,833
I can explain.
893
00:56:44,917 --> 00:56:46,292
Oh, my good God.
894
00:56:53,583 --> 00:56:55,000
It was you?
895
00:56:56,875 --> 00:56:58,625
You stole the painting?
896
00:56:58,708 --> 00:57:00,667
It's not theft for money.
897
00:57:00,750 --> 00:57:03,542
It's, you know, for the campaign.
898
00:57:06,333 --> 00:57:07,708
You're a madman.
899
00:57:08,958 --> 00:57:10,375
I'm living with a madman.
900
00:57:11,750 --> 00:57:13,292
But you swore to me. You promised.
901
00:57:13,375 --> 00:57:16,375
- If you've involved our Jackie...
- Jackie's had nothing to do with it.
902
00:57:16,458 --> 00:57:18,143
Well, why's he wearing
rubber gloves half the time?
903
00:57:18,167 --> 00:57:20,583
- He helped me build the panel.
- So he is involved?
904
00:57:20,667 --> 00:57:24,042
He hasn't touched the painting,
not without rubber gloves on.
905
00:57:25,292 --> 00:57:27,458
- I'm shaking.
- It's the shock.
906
00:57:27,542 --> 00:57:30,500
Shock, yes. I'm shocked there's
a stolen masterpiece in me wardrobe.
907
00:57:30,583 --> 00:57:31,792
I'm taking it back.
908
00:57:32,333 --> 00:57:34,292
Anything else I need to know?
909
00:57:35,125 --> 00:57:37,750
- I lost me job at the bakery.
- Oh, there's a surprise.
910
00:57:37,833 --> 00:57:40,542
I stood up against racial bigotry.
911
00:57:40,625 --> 00:57:42,345
- Well done.
- Someone had to say something.
912
00:57:42,417 --> 00:57:44,417
Yes, and he's called
Martin Luther-bloody-king,
913
00:57:44,500 --> 00:57:45,917
not Kempton Bunton.
914
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:50,250
You swore you'd get a job.
We had an agreement.
915
00:57:50,792 --> 00:57:52,250
You lied.
916
00:57:52,833 --> 00:57:55,292
You lied. You lied
when you said all this would stop.
917
00:57:55,375 --> 00:57:57,333
You don't care, do you?
No, no, no, it's just...
918
00:57:57,417 --> 00:58:00,083
Just me, me, me, isn't it?
No one else exists.
919
00:58:01,583 --> 00:58:03,583
Pammy knows I've got it.
920
00:58:04,583 --> 00:58:05,792
Oh, heavens.
921
00:58:05,875 --> 00:58:08,333
There's a reward. 5,000.
She's after the money.
922
00:58:08,417 --> 00:58:09,625
So then if...
923
00:58:09,708 --> 00:58:11,668
- She'll go to the police.
- It's possible, but...
924
00:58:11,750 --> 00:58:13,750
- And they'll come here.
- Only if it's...
925
00:58:13,833 --> 00:58:15,667
In the street!
926
00:58:15,750 --> 00:58:18,583
- They'll drag you out in handcuffs!
- Listen. Listen, calm down.
927
00:58:18,667 --> 00:58:20,000
I can't calm down!
928
00:58:20,083 --> 00:58:21,583
I'm at top pitch!
929
00:58:21,667 --> 00:58:25,208
I'm taking the painting back to London
tonight quietly.
930
00:58:25,292 --> 00:58:28,208
That would be the best thing for us.
For all of us.
931
00:58:28,292 --> 00:58:30,167
I might have to do a bit of time...
932
00:58:30,250 --> 00:58:33,000
It's a £140,000 painting. You'll do life!
933
00:58:33,083 --> 00:58:34,583
No, love, it's not like that.
934
00:58:34,667 --> 00:58:38,792
I was gonna use it for, you know,
the greater good of mankind.
935
00:58:38,875 --> 00:58:41,583
Mankind! What about your own kind?
936
00:58:41,667 --> 00:58:44,750
You've broken this family.
You're disgusting.
937
00:58:45,250 --> 00:58:48,500
Get out, you bastard. Just go... get out!
938
00:58:59,833 --> 00:59:03,375
Dad! Dad, I'm coming with you.
939
00:59:03,458 --> 00:59:04,958
No, you're not. This is my thing.
940
00:59:05,042 --> 00:59:06,601
- No, but, Dad...
- Nothing to do with you.
941
00:59:06,625 --> 00:59:08,458
Now, stay and look after your mother.
942
00:59:59,208 --> 01:00:00,667
Excuse me, Sir.
943
01:00:01,458 --> 01:00:03,292
Are you taking one of our paintings?
944
01:00:04,417 --> 01:00:06,708
No, son. I'm bringing one back.
945
01:00:08,750 --> 01:00:11,167
meanwhile, in an unexpected development,
946
01:00:11,250 --> 01:00:15,042
Goya's portrait of the Duke of Wellington
has been returned, by hand,
947
01:00:15,125 --> 01:00:16,250
to where it was stolen
948
01:00:16,333 --> 01:00:18,293
from London's National Gallery.
949
01:00:18,333 --> 01:00:20,542
At a press conference,
an official described
950
01:00:20,625 --> 01:00:23,500
how a member of the public
had simply walked in off the streets
951
01:00:23,583 --> 01:00:27,333
with the painting under his arm,
wrapped up in a bit of old brown paper.
952
01:00:27,417 --> 01:00:30,458
And when our reporter tried it,
nobody batted an eyelid.
953
01:00:30,542 --> 01:00:32,393
Devlin looked down
from his bench and said,
954
01:00:32,417 --> 01:00:35,083
"Mr Hutchinson, are you trying
to show this court contempt?"
955
01:00:35,167 --> 01:00:37,583
I said, "My Lord, no,
I'm actually trying to hide it."
956
01:00:38,750 --> 01:00:41,184
Well, first rule of advocacy:
Don't be funnier than the judge.
957
01:00:41,208 --> 01:00:42,208
Yes.
958
01:00:42,292 --> 01:00:44,917
Mr Bunton,
I'm your barrister, Jeremy Hutchinson.
959
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:46,583
Oh, that's a shame.
960
01:00:46,667 --> 01:00:48,747
I thought you were going
to offer me a gin and tonic.
961
01:00:49,625 --> 01:00:50,833
Well, I'm out tonight.
962
01:00:50,917 --> 01:00:53,167
My wife is in the cherry orchard.
963
01:00:53,250 --> 01:00:55,833
Playing ranevskaya? Indeed.
964
01:00:56,958 --> 01:00:59,208
Like life, I can never decide
if the cherry orchard
965
01:00:59,292 --> 01:01:01,042
is a tragedy or a farce.
966
01:01:01,125 --> 01:01:02,750
You know the play?
967
01:01:02,833 --> 01:01:05,875
It's one of me favourites.
I lost a child meself.
968
01:01:06,917 --> 01:01:08,042
I'm sorry.
969
01:01:08,917 --> 01:01:10,083
I'm a playwright.
970
01:01:10,708 --> 01:01:12,958
As a matter of fact,
I prefer Chekhov to Shakespeare.
971
01:01:13,042 --> 01:01:15,708
For me, the bard is overfond of his kings.
972
01:01:15,792 --> 01:01:17,667
Eric Crowther. Junior counsel.
973
01:01:17,750 --> 01:01:21,375
Mr Hutchinson's wife
is the actress dame Peggy Ashcroft.
974
01:01:21,458 --> 01:01:24,417
- Yes.
- Oh. You're a lucky man.
975
01:01:24,500 --> 01:01:25,500
Well...
976
01:01:25,583 --> 01:01:28,000
Court number one, eh?
977
01:01:28,083 --> 01:01:30,083
- Mmm.
- The Old Bailey.
978
01:01:30,167 --> 01:01:32,417
The crucible of British criminal justice.
979
01:01:32,500 --> 01:01:35,917
- Dr Crippen.
- Derek Bentley. Ruth Ellis.
980
01:01:36,792 --> 01:01:38,917
Well, they were all hung... I mean, hanged.
981
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:41,667
Well, they didn't have
Mr Hutchinson defending them.
982
01:01:42,333 --> 01:01:45,250
- Who's prosecuting?
- Neddie Cussen.
983
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,375
- Score's seven to two.
- To you?
984
01:01:48,458 --> 01:01:51,667
To him. Yes, born prosecutor, Neddie.
985
01:01:51,750 --> 01:01:54,250
Defendant's always guilty
until proven innocent.
986
01:01:54,333 --> 01:01:55,708
Well, can you get me off?
987
01:01:57,625 --> 01:01:58,667
Mr Bunton...
988
01:01:59,792 --> 01:02:02,625
You returned the Goya by hand
and confessed to the theft.
989
01:02:02,708 --> 01:02:05,708
You gave the police a detailed explanation
of how you stole it
990
01:02:05,792 --> 01:02:07,875
and you've explained your motive.
991
01:02:08,667 --> 01:02:10,167
Can I get you off?
992
01:02:12,750 --> 01:02:14,542
Almost certainly not.
993
01:02:15,500 --> 01:02:17,309
Meanwhile,
994
01:02:17,333 --> 01:02:20,208
Kempton Bunton,
the Newcastle man accused of stealing
995
01:02:20,292 --> 01:02:24,292
Goya's portrait of the Duke of Wellington,
arrived at the Old Bailey this morning
996
01:02:24,375 --> 01:02:26,542
for the first day of his trial.
997
01:02:26,625 --> 01:02:28,083
And it was quite an entrance.
998
01:02:28,167 --> 01:02:29,809
did you steal the Goya, Mr Bunton?
999
01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:31,292
No, I borrowed it.
1000
01:02:31,792 --> 01:02:34,333
- Why?
- For the greater good.
1001
01:02:35,083 --> 01:02:36,500
We can still get there.
1002
01:02:38,958 --> 01:02:41,083
He's made his bed. He can lie in it.
1003
01:02:45,375 --> 01:02:47,175
The rest of the day was taken up
1004
01:02:47,208 --> 01:02:49,458
with empanelling the 12 citizens,
1005
01:02:49,542 --> 01:02:51,458
12 good men and women
1006
01:02:51,542 --> 01:02:54,083
who will tomorrow begin to hear
what promises to be
1007
01:02:54,167 --> 01:02:57,000
one of the most eagerly awaited
criminal trials
1008
01:02:57,083 --> 01:02:58,250
since the war.
1009
01:02:58,333 --> 01:03:00,875
Another triumph
for the Duke of Wellington.
1010
01:03:00,958 --> 01:03:04,750
And as queues begin to gather
for access to the public gallery,
1011
01:03:04,833 --> 01:03:08,042
there is no doubt that even
by the old Bailey's standards,
1012
01:03:08,125 --> 01:03:11,375
this one looks
like being a very hot ticket.
1013
01:03:17,792 --> 01:03:19,512
Are you Kempton Bunton?
1014
01:03:20,417 --> 01:03:23,000
But not named after Kempton racetrack,
1015
01:03:23,083 --> 01:03:25,167
as some would have it.
1016
01:03:25,250 --> 01:03:27,667
Even though it is probable
that I was conceived there.
1017
01:03:27,750 --> 01:03:29,500
It's a yes-or-no answer.
1018
01:03:30,083 --> 01:03:31,458
Yes, My Lord.
1019
01:03:31,542 --> 01:03:33,750
Me mother named me after Kempton Cannon,
1020
01:03:33,833 --> 01:03:37,083
the jockey who rode St Amant,
the winner of that year's Derby.
1021
01:03:37,958 --> 01:03:41,417
- Do you want me to explain Bunton?
- I didn't want you to explain Kempton.
1022
01:03:42,917 --> 01:03:44,375
Charges.
1023
01:03:45,792 --> 01:03:47,417
Kempton Bunton, you are charged
1024
01:03:47,500 --> 01:03:50,792
that on the 21st of march, 1961,
1025
01:03:50,875 --> 01:03:53,292
you stole a picture frame
to the value of £80,
1026
01:03:53,375 --> 01:03:55,333
property of the National Gallery.
1027
01:03:55,417 --> 01:03:57,708
How do you plead, guilty or not guilty?
1028
01:03:57,792 --> 01:03:58,875
Not guilty.
1029
01:03:58,958 --> 01:04:02,083
In the second count,
you are charged that on the same day,
1030
01:04:02,167 --> 01:04:07,000
you stole from the National Gallery
the portrait of the Duke of Wellington
1031
01:04:07,083 --> 01:04:09,625
by the artist Francisco Goya
1032
01:04:09,708 --> 01:04:13,042
to the value of£140,000.
1033
01:04:13,125 --> 01:04:15,208
How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?
1034
01:04:15,292 --> 01:04:17,167
- Not guilty.
- Yes!
1035
01:04:19,250 --> 01:04:21,101
For those unfamiliar
with court proceedings,
1036
01:04:21,125 --> 01:04:23,083
that was the plea, not the verdict.
1037
01:04:24,917 --> 01:04:29,083
Kempton Bunton, you are further charged
that following the theft of the portrait,
1038
01:04:29,167 --> 01:04:32,333
you made demands with menaces
for its return.
1039
01:04:32,417 --> 01:04:34,208
Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
1040
01:04:34,292 --> 01:04:35,500
Not guilty.
1041
01:04:35,583 --> 01:04:37,708
And that you created a public nuisance
1042
01:04:37,792 --> 01:04:41,625
by depriving members of the public
of the opportunity to view the portrait.
1043
01:04:41,708 --> 01:04:43,958
Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
1044
01:04:44,042 --> 01:04:45,625
Same again, love. Not guilty.
1045
01:04:47,292 --> 01:04:48,292
Mr Cussen.
1046
01:04:50,125 --> 01:04:51,667
Thank you, My Lord.
1047
01:04:51,750 --> 01:04:55,917
And at 5:00 am,
when you returned from your rest break,
1048
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:57,667
what did you see?
1049
01:04:57,750 --> 01:05:00,083
The painting was gone, Sir.
Clearly stolen.
1050
01:05:01,125 --> 01:05:02,542
Thank you.
1051
01:05:02,625 --> 01:05:04,750
Uh, Mr Edbury, if you could remain there,
1052
01:05:04,833 --> 01:05:07,542
my learned friend
will have some questions for you.
1053
01:05:09,917 --> 01:05:11,125
Mr Hutchinson.
1054
01:05:13,417 --> 01:05:14,958
No questions, My Lord.
1055
01:05:16,042 --> 01:05:19,375
"The conception, design
and execution of this act
1056
01:05:19,458 --> 01:05:22,500
was solely, singularly
and entirely my own."
1057
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:26,708
- And that statement is signed?
- Kempton Bunton.
1058
01:05:27,708 --> 01:05:29,583
Thank you, detective inspector.
1059
01:05:29,667 --> 01:05:32,917
If you would stay there, Mr Hutchinson
will have some questions for you.
1060
01:05:35,458 --> 01:05:36,958
Mr Hutchinson.
1061
01:05:37,792 --> 01:05:40,542
The defence has no questions
for this witness.
1062
01:05:42,250 --> 01:05:44,542
At this rate, we'll be finished by tea.
1063
01:05:45,167 --> 01:05:46,333
And, Dr Unsworth,
1064
01:05:46,417 --> 01:05:48,625
what is your professional opinion
of the hand?
1065
01:05:49,458 --> 01:05:53,042
The childlike scrawl
across all the ransom notes is,
1066
01:05:53,125 --> 01:05:55,000
when compared to his normal script,
1067
01:05:55,083 --> 01:05:59,000
unequivocally the feebly disguised hand
of the accused, Mr Bunton.
1068
01:05:59,083 --> 01:06:02,667
I'm grateful, Dr Unsworth.
If you would remain on stand.
1069
01:06:03,500 --> 01:06:05,792
Any cross examination, Mr Hutchinson,
1070
01:06:05,875 --> 01:06:08,083
or are you trying to give it up?
1071
01:06:09,375 --> 01:06:11,175
The defence has no questions
for this witness.
1072
01:06:19,708 --> 01:06:22,333
- What are you doing?
- The dirt in this house.
1073
01:06:22,417 --> 01:06:23,417
Stop it.
1074
01:06:23,458 --> 01:06:25,309
Someone's gotta keep this place clean.
1075
01:06:25,333 --> 01:06:28,167
Lord knows your father
will drag us into the gutter.
1076
01:06:29,667 --> 01:06:30,917
That's not true.
1077
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:33,417
And it's not Dad's fault Marian died.
1078
01:06:33,500 --> 01:06:35,893
He bought her that bike, so as far
as he's concerned, he killed her.
1079
01:06:35,917 --> 01:06:39,417
- Do you think I don't know that?
- Well, tell him, then. Talk about it.
1080
01:06:39,500 --> 01:06:42,500
Why do you think he does his plays
and his leaflets and petitions?
1081
01:06:42,583 --> 01:06:45,167
- Defend him all you like.
- I stole the painting.
1082
01:06:46,333 --> 01:06:48,917
Do you hear me? I stole the Goya.
1083
01:06:50,083 --> 01:06:51,083
What?
1084
01:06:52,625 --> 01:06:55,375
No. No, you didn't take that painting.
1085
01:06:55,458 --> 01:06:58,750
- No, you did not.
- Aye. It was me, not Dad.
1086
01:07:00,542 --> 01:07:04,417
Please, no, no, just please tell me
you're talking nonsense, Jackie Bunton.
1087
01:07:06,292 --> 01:07:08,167
- Oh, my God, I'm shaking.
- Mam.
1088
01:07:08,250 --> 01:07:11,125
- I'm shaking. Look at me. I'm shaking.
- I was just...
1089
01:07:11,208 --> 01:07:12,888
Stop it.
You're just making yourself shake.
1090
01:07:12,917 --> 01:07:14,042
- No.
- Sit down.
1091
01:07:14,125 --> 01:07:15,583
Oh!
1092
01:07:15,667 --> 01:07:16,792
What...
1093
01:07:17,958 --> 01:07:18,958
Well,
1094
01:07:19,625 --> 01:07:21,250
when did you go to London?
1095
01:07:24,417 --> 01:07:26,000
It was that week I took off work.
1096
01:07:26,083 --> 01:07:29,417
But you... you said you went to Leeds.
1097
01:07:30,833 --> 01:07:32,417
You lied.
1098
01:07:32,500 --> 01:07:35,125
I was sick of you skivvying for lady muck.
1099
01:07:35,208 --> 01:07:37,417
Sick of them all laughing at Dad.
1100
01:07:37,500 --> 01:07:40,708
I thought the painting might be like,
well, it might change everything.
1101
01:07:40,792 --> 01:07:43,333
So you're a liar and a thief.
1102
01:07:43,417 --> 01:07:46,000
I just thought if he had something
them bloody toffs wanted,
1103
01:07:46,083 --> 01:07:48,875
they'd have to listen to,
you know, his TV crusade.
1104
01:07:48,958 --> 01:07:51,417
Crusade? Jesus Christ, is he now?
1105
01:07:56,667 --> 01:07:57,792
But how?
1106
01:07:58,458 --> 01:08:00,292
I mean, how did you take it?
1107
01:08:02,458 --> 01:08:03,458
I cased the gallery.
1108
01:08:04,958 --> 01:08:09,042
The Goya was just sat there on an easel,
not even a guard standing by it.
1109
01:08:10,667 --> 01:08:13,750
All I had to do was find somewhere
I could break in.
1110
01:08:15,333 --> 01:08:16,750
I went to the toilet.
1111
01:08:17,458 --> 01:08:20,250
And I opened the toilet window
and leaned out.
1112
01:08:20,917 --> 01:08:25,083
There was a courtyard below
with all builders' stuff and ladders.
1113
01:08:26,417 --> 01:08:27,458
Excuse me, mate.
1114
01:08:27,542 --> 01:08:29,976
I went up to the security fella
and asked him how you get a job.
1115
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:31,417
Well, you could try the office.
1116
01:08:31,500 --> 01:08:34,083
Cleaners' work, early mornings. 4:30.
1117
01:08:34,958 --> 01:08:37,375
Get night rates, though. Lucky buggers.
1118
01:08:38,083 --> 01:08:39,458
I was born lucky.
1119
01:08:40,667 --> 01:08:42,250
And then I figured,
1120
01:08:42,750 --> 01:08:46,083
if the cleaners were in at half-4:00,
they'd have to turn the alarms off.
1121
01:08:46,667 --> 01:08:48,000
So I went back early morning.
1122
01:08:49,417 --> 01:08:51,708
Put a ladder up
just below the toilet window,
1123
01:08:52,833 --> 01:08:54,125
climbed up and...
1124
01:08:54,750 --> 01:08:57,875
I could hear one of them
automatic floor polishers.
1125
01:08:59,458 --> 01:09:01,625
So I waited until he'd passed and then I...
1126
01:09:03,750 --> 01:09:05,542
I just walked across the floor.
1127
01:09:05,625 --> 01:09:07,750
Don't suppose
you've ever been to Newcastle?
1128
01:09:14,125 --> 01:09:15,875
What did your father say
when you told him?
1129
01:09:17,500 --> 01:09:18,875
Fucking hell!
1130
01:09:18,958 --> 01:09:21,792
- What do you think?
- I think... fucking hell!
1131
01:09:21,875 --> 01:09:23,208
140 grand.
1132
01:09:23,292 --> 01:09:25,708
If you could sell it, which you can't.
1133
01:09:25,792 --> 01:09:27,458
I know. I'm not daft.
1134
01:09:27,542 --> 01:09:30,417
But for pictures, the insurance
will pay out 10% for safe returns.
1135
01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:33,000
- Have you got a screw loose?
- Are you angry with us?
1136
01:09:33,083 --> 01:09:36,292
Angry? No, I'm furious, you stupid penis!
1137
01:09:36,375 --> 01:09:38,792
You've nicked the best-known painting
on the planet.
1138
01:09:38,875 --> 01:09:40,000
'Kinnell!
1139
01:09:40,083 --> 01:09:42,875
Why can't we use it
to get them free telly licences?
1140
01:09:42,958 --> 01:09:44,000
Blackmail the bastards.
1141
01:09:44,083 --> 01:09:47,167
Hold the bugger to ransom
to better the lot of the common man?
1142
01:09:48,125 --> 01:09:49,458
One problem.
1143
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:52,125
What's that?
1144
01:09:52,208 --> 01:09:55,667
Two words. Mrs Dorothy Bunton.
1145
01:09:58,042 --> 01:09:59,375
We'll have to hide it from her.
1146
01:09:59,458 --> 01:10:02,292
You can't hide anything
from a woman in her own house.
1147
01:10:02,375 --> 01:10:04,833
No, if she finds it, I stole it.
1148
01:10:04,917 --> 01:10:07,917
- I'm not having you take the blame.
- I stole it.
1149
01:10:11,083 --> 01:10:13,417
On the telly, it was in a frame.
1150
01:10:13,500 --> 01:10:15,958
Shit. I took it off.
1151
01:10:16,750 --> 01:10:19,292
I must have left it under the bed
in me digs. Sorry.
1152
01:10:19,375 --> 01:10:22,042
You'd lose your balls
if they weren't in a bag.
1153
01:10:24,958 --> 01:10:27,167
It's not very good, is it?
1154
01:11:01,958 --> 01:11:06,875
"I do solemnly, sincerely
and truly declare and affirm"
1155
01:11:07,375 --> 01:11:12,625
that the evidence I shall give
shall be the truth, the whole truth...
1156
01:11:12,708 --> 01:11:14,958
"And nothing but the truth."
1157
01:11:15,042 --> 01:11:17,250
Excuse me. Thank you.
1158
01:11:23,042 --> 01:11:25,125
How old are you, Mr Bunton?
1159
01:11:25,208 --> 01:11:27,583
I don't know. I feel about 23.
1160
01:11:28,833 --> 01:11:30,673
You don't know your date of birth?
1161
01:11:30,708 --> 01:11:32,458
I never had a birth certificate.
1162
01:11:32,542 --> 01:11:33,792
1900, I think.
1163
01:11:33,875 --> 01:11:35,750
Do you know where you were born?
1164
01:11:35,833 --> 01:11:37,417
The back bedroom.
1165
01:11:39,250 --> 01:11:41,170
Of your mother's house in Newcastle?
1166
01:11:41,250 --> 01:11:42,125
Byker.
1167
01:11:42,208 --> 01:11:45,542
If Newcastle was a dog,
you lifted its tail,
1168
01:11:45,625 --> 01:11:47,625
that hole there, that's Byker.
1169
01:11:49,833 --> 01:11:54,083
Your father fought
in the First World War at Ypres.
1170
01:11:54,167 --> 01:11:56,167
Wipers. He weren't an officer.
1171
01:11:56,750 --> 01:11:58,458
He came back in a wheelchair?
1172
01:11:58,542 --> 01:12:01,083
Aye. Tank ran over his legs.
1173
01:12:01,167 --> 01:12:03,750
How did he feel
about the Germans after that?
1174
01:12:03,833 --> 01:12:06,542
Never a bad word.
The Germans didn't have tanks.
1175
01:12:06,625 --> 01:12:09,042
You helped him to run his business.
1176
01:12:09,125 --> 01:12:12,042
Aye. He was a street bookie,
and I did his running for him.
1177
01:12:12,125 --> 01:12:15,792
It was illegal, but you could bribe
the beat Bobby with 12 shillings.
1178
01:12:15,875 --> 01:12:17,035
I was as guilty as anybody...
1179
01:12:17,083 --> 01:12:19,601
And who hasn't been guilty
of a youthful indiscretion,
1180
01:12:19,625 --> 01:12:21,000
ladies and gentlemen of the jury?
1181
01:12:21,083 --> 01:12:24,375
The past, as they say, is another country.
1182
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:29,042
Your father died, and you lived
with your mother who ran pubs.
1183
01:12:29,125 --> 01:12:30,792
Aye. It were a rough game,
1184
01:12:30,875 --> 01:12:32,750
but she had a left hook
like Henry Cooper's.
1185
01:12:32,833 --> 01:12:35,792
Luckily she didn't cut quite as easy.
1186
01:12:35,875 --> 01:12:37,125
In the Second World War,
1187
01:12:37,208 --> 01:12:39,208
you were refused service
on medical grounds.
1188
01:12:39,292 --> 01:12:41,333
I done me bit. I drove lorries.
1189
01:12:41,917 --> 01:12:43,333
You married young?
1190
01:12:43,417 --> 01:12:45,708
- I had to marry.
- "Had to marry"?
1191
01:12:46,750 --> 01:12:50,083
It was love. The decision was made for me.
1192
01:12:51,708 --> 01:12:54,333
Did you intend to steal this painting
1193
01:12:54,417 --> 01:12:57,917
in the sense of permanently
depriving the gallery of it?
1194
01:12:58,000 --> 01:12:59,000
Never.
1195
01:12:59,625 --> 01:13:02,833
Did you ever demand money with menaces
at any time from anyone?
1196
01:13:02,917 --> 01:13:04,167
No, Sir.
1197
01:13:04,250 --> 01:13:07,875
In 1960, did you communicate
with the post office
1198
01:13:07,958 --> 01:13:09,708
about your television licence?
1199
01:13:09,792 --> 01:13:11,917
Aye, I told them
I had no intention of paying it
1200
01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:13,375
because I couldn't receive BBC.
1201
01:13:13,458 --> 01:13:15,226
You went to prison for not paying it.
1202
01:13:15,250 --> 01:13:16,250
I did.
1203
01:13:16,333 --> 01:13:20,042
On your release, you
continued a campaign for free television
1204
01:13:20,125 --> 01:13:22,750
for pensioners and war veterans,
is that correct?
1205
01:13:22,833 --> 01:13:26,333
I could afford a licence myself.
It was about the principle of the thing.
1206
01:13:26,417 --> 01:13:29,792
All me life I've looked out for
other people and got into trouble for it.
1207
01:13:29,875 --> 01:13:32,500
When did that begin,
looking out for others?
1208
01:13:33,958 --> 01:13:35,583
I were about 14,
1209
01:13:36,958 --> 01:13:38,333
summer holidays.
1210
01:13:38,417 --> 01:13:42,125
I'd just finished reading
Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness,
1211
01:13:42,208 --> 01:13:44,625
and I felt a need to explore Sunderland.
1212
01:13:46,500 --> 01:13:50,458
But I got distracted
and found myself on south shields beach.
1213
01:13:51,208 --> 01:13:53,833
I chucked myself in the sea to cool down.
1214
01:13:53,917 --> 01:13:56,083
A rip tide dragged me out.
1215
01:13:56,875 --> 01:13:59,667
I was on me own, exhausted,
about a mile out,
1216
01:13:59,750 --> 01:14:01,875
and I knew there was no way
I'd get back in.
1217
01:14:02,458 --> 01:14:04,083
But I had faith.
1218
01:14:04,167 --> 01:14:06,375
Not in God, but in people.
1219
01:14:07,875 --> 01:14:10,351
I knew some nosy bugger
would see a pile of clothes on the beach
1220
01:14:10,375 --> 01:14:12,250
and put two and two together.
1221
01:14:13,458 --> 01:14:16,458
So I trusted in that, and waited.
1222
01:14:18,208 --> 01:14:23,000
Conserved me energy by floating,
not swimming.
1223
01:14:24,333 --> 01:14:27,917
Looked at the sky...
Smile on me face.
1224
01:14:28,667 --> 01:14:30,458
You could call it trust.
1225
01:14:31,375 --> 01:14:34,625
An hour later,
the lifeboat pulled up alongside
1226
01:14:34,708 --> 01:14:36,000
and hauled me in.
1227
01:14:36,083 --> 01:14:41,083
The skipper was a milkman from Blyth,
by all accounts, a bit of a bastard.
1228
01:14:42,333 --> 01:14:43,893
Excuse my French.
1229
01:14:43,917 --> 01:14:47,083
But, you know, as a milkman, I mean,
but there's good and bad in all of us.
1230
01:14:47,583 --> 01:14:48,833
He saved my life that day.
1231
01:14:48,917 --> 01:14:51,125
Could have been anyone,
but I knew someone would.
1232
01:14:51,917 --> 01:14:54,333
I'm not me without you. Do you get me?
1233
01:14:54,417 --> 01:14:57,000
- We all need each other?
- No, you are me.
1234
01:14:57,708 --> 01:15:01,625
It's you that makes me me,
and it's me that makes you you.
1235
01:15:01,708 --> 01:15:03,625
Humanity is a collective project.
1236
01:15:03,708 --> 01:15:07,167
Look, on me own, I'm a single brick.
1237
01:15:07,250 --> 01:15:08,250
A bit useless.
1238
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:10,958
What good's a brick on its tod?
1239
01:15:11,042 --> 01:15:13,667
But you put a load of bricks together,
you get a building.
1240
01:15:13,750 --> 01:15:16,125
You build a building, you create a shadow.
1241
01:15:16,208 --> 01:15:18,292
Already you've changed the world.
1242
01:15:18,375 --> 01:15:20,875
Your philosophy,
I think it earns the appellation.
1243
01:15:20,958 --> 01:15:24,542
How did you apply this thinking
to your own struggle?
1244
01:15:26,250 --> 01:15:29,625
You can't help the dead,
but you can be inspired by them.
1245
01:15:29,708 --> 01:15:32,184
Some of them kids that this country
sent out to France and Belgium
1246
01:15:32,208 --> 01:15:34,250
in 1914 came back.
1247
01:15:34,333 --> 01:15:35,625
They're over 65 now,
1248
01:15:35,708 --> 01:15:38,417
pensioners with not two pennies
to rub together.
1249
01:15:38,500 --> 01:15:40,250
And isolation,
1250
01:15:40,333 --> 01:15:42,792
or not being connected,
to use the modern lingo,
1251
01:15:42,875 --> 01:15:44,250
is no kind of life.
1252
01:15:44,333 --> 01:15:46,500
So what you grandly call my philosophy,
1253
01:15:46,583 --> 01:15:48,292
the "I'm you and you're me" thing,
1254
01:15:48,375 --> 01:15:52,875
tells me that every time
someone gets cut off from the rest of us,
1255
01:15:52,958 --> 01:15:56,750
this nation, this country,
becomes a foot shorter.
1256
01:16:11,667 --> 01:16:15,333
Mr Bunton, I suspect the jury
are asking themselves
1257
01:16:15,417 --> 01:16:18,833
how any of this applies
to the theft of the Goya.
1258
01:16:18,917 --> 01:16:21,292
- Well, I saw on the news...
- The ITV news?
1259
01:16:22,542 --> 01:16:23,708
Very good.
1260
01:16:23,792 --> 01:16:28,583
I seen that the government was paying out
£140,000 for this painting.
1261
01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:30,250
That, for me, became about numbers.
1262
01:16:30,333 --> 01:16:34,500
If you put all that money
into a bank account earning 10% interest,
1263
01:16:34,583 --> 01:16:39,167
you could pay for 3,500 TV licences a year
1264
01:16:39,250 --> 01:16:41,083
and reconnect with all them people.
1265
01:16:49,875 --> 01:16:51,583
No further questions, My Lord.
1266
01:17:09,958 --> 01:17:15,417
You saw the painting on the ITV news,
and realising it was worth £140,000,
1267
01:17:15,500 --> 01:17:20,292
you decide to come down to London
to steal it for personal gain, didn't you?
1268
01:17:20,375 --> 01:17:22,583
I thought I'd kidnap it for a while, aye.
1269
01:17:24,333 --> 01:17:28,000
Where did you stay
whilst you planned the heist?
1270
01:17:28,083 --> 01:17:30,083
I took digs near a bucket shop.
1271
01:17:30,792 --> 01:17:32,250
What's a bucket shop?
1272
01:17:32,333 --> 01:17:35,458
A shop that sells buckets.
1273
01:17:35,542 --> 01:17:37,042
Was that deliberate?
1274
01:17:37,125 --> 01:17:39,625
- No, but it came in useful.
- In what way?
1275
01:17:39,708 --> 01:17:42,333
Well, this isn't my city, is it?
I don't know my way around.
1276
01:17:42,417 --> 01:17:45,458
So I'd get to Camden and ask a local,
"do you know where I can buy a bucket?"
1277
01:17:45,542 --> 01:17:47,167
And that way you would get directions?
1278
01:17:47,250 --> 01:17:49,458
Everyone knows where you can buy a bucket.
1279
01:17:50,917 --> 01:17:53,250
Do you know the address of the shop?
1280
01:17:53,958 --> 01:17:57,125
Why? Do you need a bucket?
1281
01:17:57,958 --> 01:17:59,625
We... no, we need... we...
1282
01:17:59,708 --> 01:18:01,542
Excuse me. We need the address
1283
01:18:01,625 --> 01:18:03,305
because you said that
you removed the frame
1284
01:18:03,375 --> 01:18:05,667
and hid it under the bed in your lodgings.
1285
01:18:05,750 --> 01:18:07,500
So is the bucket shop still there?
1286
01:18:07,583 --> 01:18:10,542
I've no idea. I've not been back.
I'm not short of buckets meself.
1287
01:18:10,625 --> 01:18:13,917
Mr Bunton, you are on trial.
1288
01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:16,125
This is not an audition for a music hall.
1289
01:18:16,208 --> 01:18:17,583
Sorry, My Lord.
1290
01:18:24,292 --> 01:18:27,042
What am I looking at? Ten years?
1291
01:18:28,333 --> 01:18:32,458
I'll make my closing speech, and then
the judge will give his summing-up,
1292
01:18:32,542 --> 01:18:37,333
which, I warn you, may sound a bit like
the second speech for the prosecution.
1293
01:18:38,250 --> 01:18:41,583
All the benches up there
have this Latin phrase on them.
1294
01:18:41,667 --> 01:18:44,125
"Domine dirige nos."
1295
01:18:44,208 --> 01:18:45,250
"Lord, direct us."
1296
01:18:45,833 --> 01:18:48,000
God help us, more like.
1297
01:18:50,708 --> 01:18:52,548
Well, I'll give you two sometime.
1298
01:18:52,583 --> 01:18:53,958
Please.
1299
01:19:04,375 --> 01:19:06,917
- Well, you're all over the papers.
- Am I?
1300
01:19:09,958 --> 01:19:11,667
You could have told me.
1301
01:19:11,750 --> 01:19:13,500
We could have dealt with it together.
1302
01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:16,333
Could we?
1303
01:19:22,333 --> 01:19:23,917
I read the rest of your play.
1304
01:19:24,500 --> 01:19:27,000
I'm sorry you felt you were to blame.
You're not.
1305
01:19:33,375 --> 01:19:35,000
I went to see her.
1306
01:19:37,333 --> 01:19:39,750
- Nice spot, isn't it?
- Uh-huh. Lovely.
1307
01:19:43,208 --> 01:19:46,125
- Cleaned it up a bit.
- I like the wildness.
1308
01:19:47,208 --> 01:19:50,042
- She died in the country.
- Any excuse to do nothing.
1309
01:19:56,667 --> 01:19:58,417
How long will you get?
1310
01:19:58,500 --> 01:19:59,625
I don't know.
1311
01:20:00,750 --> 01:20:01,750
Ten years.
1312
01:20:06,750 --> 01:20:08,375
You didn't take the painting.
1313
01:20:09,958 --> 01:20:12,167
Would you rather Jackie was in the dock?
1314
01:20:15,333 --> 01:20:16,958
I'm sorry, Dolly.
1315
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:20,958
It's a mess.
1316
01:20:25,667 --> 01:20:27,292
It's a mess, all right.
1317
01:20:37,583 --> 01:20:41,292
As night follows day,
Kempton Bunton stole the Goya.
1318
01:20:43,208 --> 01:20:44,833
So say the prosecution.
1319
01:20:45,375 --> 01:20:46,958
Now...
1320
01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:49,375
That puzzled me,
1321
01:20:50,542 --> 01:20:54,417
because nothing is a crime in this country
1322
01:20:54,500 --> 01:20:59,167
unless it is expressly forbidden by law.
1323
01:20:59,958 --> 01:21:04,042
If your neighbour borrows your lawnmower
and doesn't return it for months,
1324
01:21:04,125 --> 01:21:07,750
it is frustrating, it is annoying,
1325
01:21:07,833 --> 01:21:09,917
but it is not theft.
1326
01:21:11,417 --> 01:21:16,292
Because he had no intention
of permanently depriving you of it.
1327
01:21:17,542 --> 01:21:20,583
Kempton Bunton is your neighbour.
1328
01:21:20,667 --> 01:21:23,375
He is not a thief.
1329
01:21:23,458 --> 01:21:27,042
He borrowed your Goya to...
1330
01:21:27,125 --> 01:21:30,458
Try and do a bit of good in this world,
1331
01:21:31,042 --> 01:21:32,458
in a world where...
1332
01:21:34,375 --> 01:21:35,542
I am you...
1333
01:21:37,500 --> 01:21:38,833
And you are me,
1334
01:21:39,500 --> 01:21:41,250
to try and benefit
1335
01:21:41,333 --> 01:21:44,083
some of the most
vulnerable people in society.
1336
01:21:44,167 --> 01:21:48,708
He returned it,
delivered it in person, the Goya.
1337
01:21:48,792 --> 01:21:52,167
Late, yes, yes...
1338
01:21:53,875 --> 01:21:54,875
Yes.
1339
01:21:59,042 --> 01:22:02,333
Who amongst us hasn't been late
returning a lawnmower?
1340
01:22:06,250 --> 01:22:08,250
When all is said and done...
1341
01:22:12,708 --> 01:22:14,500
He's a pretty good neighbour, really.
1342
01:22:15,917 --> 01:22:16,917
Isn't he?
1343
01:22:20,458 --> 01:22:21,708
Thank you.
1344
01:22:31,833 --> 01:22:35,125
And in response
to Mr Bunton's confession
1345
01:22:35,208 --> 01:22:37,292
that he took the Goya,
1346
01:22:37,375 --> 01:22:39,917
you may consider that
as a result of his defence,
1347
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:42,833
every gallery in the country
will be powerless to prevent anyone
1348
01:22:42,917 --> 01:22:46,083
from borrowing a Rubens for the weekend,
1349
01:22:46,167 --> 01:22:49,083
to hang in the hallway
to impress the Chair of the Rotary Club.
1350
01:22:49,167 --> 01:22:51,792
Can this country
really allow such behaviour
1351
01:22:51,875 --> 01:22:54,417
to be placed outside our criminal law?
1352
01:22:54,958 --> 01:22:58,250
Now, that is a question
I urge you to focus on now,
1353
01:22:59,000 --> 01:23:02,167
as you retire to consider your verdicts.
1354
01:23:16,958 --> 01:23:18,458
This is a good sandwich.
1355
01:23:19,958 --> 01:23:21,000
It is.
1356
01:23:21,083 --> 01:23:23,333
For cheese.
1357
01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:57,042
Will the foreman please stand?
1358
01:23:57,667 --> 01:23:59,167
And the defendant.
1359
01:24:00,167 --> 01:24:01,708
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
1360
01:24:01,792 --> 01:24:05,458
have you reached verdicts
upon which all 12 of you are agreed?
1361
01:24:06,292 --> 01:24:07,292
We have.
1362
01:24:07,875 --> 01:24:10,434
On the charge
of the theft of a picture frame
1363
01:24:10,458 --> 01:24:14,125
to the value of £80,
property of the National Gallery,
1364
01:24:14,208 --> 01:24:16,667
do you find the defendant
guilty or not guilty?
1365
01:24:16,750 --> 01:24:17,750
Guilty.
1366
01:24:21,667 --> 01:24:24,333
Establishment fix-up!
Establishment fix-up!
1367
01:24:24,417 --> 01:24:26,542
There will be silence!
1368
01:24:27,333 --> 01:24:30,000
Or I shall order
the public gallery cleared.
1369
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:34,750
On the charge of the theft
of the Goya portrait
1370
01:24:34,833 --> 01:24:36,208
of the Duke of Wellington,
1371
01:24:36,292 --> 01:24:39,417
do you find the defendant
guilty or not guilty?
1372
01:24:50,750 --> 01:24:52,042
Not guilty.
1373
01:25:06,542 --> 01:25:09,500
On the charge
of demanding money with menaces
1374
01:25:09,583 --> 01:25:10,875
for the return of the portrait,
1375
01:25:10,958 --> 01:25:13,750
do you find the defendant
guilty or not guilty?
1376
01:25:13,833 --> 01:25:14,917
Not guilty.
1377
01:25:17,750 --> 01:25:18,833
Silence!
1378
01:25:19,417 --> 01:25:21,458
Silence in court.
1379
01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:25,625
On the charge
of creating a public nuisance
1380
01:25:25,708 --> 01:25:28,750
by depriving members of the public
of the opportunity to view the portrait,
1381
01:25:28,833 --> 01:25:30,233
do you find the defendant guilty...
1382
01:25:30,292 --> 01:25:31,500
Not guilty.
1383
01:25:37,958 --> 01:25:40,583
It's a hat-trick!
1384
01:25:40,667 --> 01:25:42,375
Whoo!
1385
01:25:46,542 --> 01:25:49,250
Silence! Silence in court.
1386
01:25:51,958 --> 01:25:54,042
I will have silence.
1387
01:25:55,833 --> 01:25:58,542
Silence in court!
1388
01:25:58,625 --> 01:26:00,042
remove that woman.
1389
01:26:00,792 --> 01:26:02,667
I'm not going anywhere.
1390
01:26:26,542 --> 01:26:28,125
thank you.
1391
01:26:38,542 --> 01:26:40,417
Give us one of those bags.
1392
01:26:41,333 --> 01:26:43,333
- You're here.
- Course I'm here.
1393
01:26:43,417 --> 01:26:45,167
Where else do you think I'd be?
1394
01:26:45,917 --> 01:26:49,000
I haven't been wasting me time.
I've written a couple of plays.
1395
01:26:49,083 --> 01:26:50,417
Hmm.
1396
01:26:50,500 --> 01:26:52,667
Shakespeare must be shivering
in his boots.
1397
01:26:52,750 --> 01:26:56,208
I expect so. And Chekhov.
1398
01:26:57,542 --> 01:26:58,792
Who's Chekhov?
1399
01:27:00,417 --> 01:27:03,208
Do you remember that play we went to see
about the three sisters?
1400
01:27:30,417 --> 01:27:31,875
There she is.
1401
01:27:40,208 --> 01:27:42,875
- Welcome home, Dad.
- Welcome home, Dad.
1402
01:27:42,958 --> 01:27:44,583
I'll put the kettle on.
1403
01:27:46,042 --> 01:27:47,500
Is one of those for me?
1404
01:27:49,875 --> 01:27:50,958
Wet your whistle.
1405
01:27:51,042 --> 01:27:52,875
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
1406
01:27:57,417 --> 01:28:00,083
- I needed that.
- I bet you did.
1407
01:28:00,167 --> 01:28:01,875
Best I've ever tasted.
1408
01:28:10,083 --> 01:28:12,250
The director of public prosecutions and I
1409
01:28:12,333 --> 01:28:15,250
have considered the evidence in the case,
1410
01:28:16,500 --> 01:28:17,667
and your confession.
1411
01:28:19,583 --> 01:28:23,750
It goes without saying,
it is an offence of the utmost gravity.
1412
01:28:25,833 --> 01:28:29,333
However, in order to prosecute,
1413
01:28:29,417 --> 01:28:31,208
we would be compelled to call...
1414
01:28:33,417 --> 01:28:34,583
The original defendant.
1415
01:28:34,667 --> 01:28:36,667
It puts us in a delicate position,
1416
01:28:37,500 --> 01:28:41,000
given the public spectacle
your father seems to create.
1417
01:28:41,750 --> 01:28:43,917
So, it has been decided that...
1418
01:28:45,958 --> 01:28:48,625
Prosecuting you may not be
in the public interest.
1419
01:28:48,708 --> 01:28:52,167
What, you mean Kempton would
make you look stupid again?
1420
01:28:53,000 --> 01:28:54,000
Sorry. I didn't mean...
1421
01:28:54,083 --> 01:28:57,958
Of course, if a single word of this
were ever to go beyond these walls,
1422
01:28:58,042 --> 01:29:00,000
we could always change our minds.
1423
01:29:01,417 --> 01:29:03,125
- Clear?
- Clear.
1424
01:29:14,792 --> 01:29:16,292
- Kene?
- I will.
1425
01:29:16,375 --> 01:29:18,875
- Will you marry me?
- I just said I will.
1426
01:29:25,625 --> 01:29:27,792
Just like you on this island, Dr No.
1427
01:29:27,875 --> 01:29:31,625
It depends, Mr bond,
on which side of the glass you are.
1428
01:29:33,042 --> 01:29:36,625
A medium dry Martini, lemon peel,
shaken, not stirred.
1429
01:29:36,708 --> 01:29:38,375
- Vodka?
- Of course.
1430
01:29:49,208 --> 01:29:51,208
It's that bloody picture again.
1431
01:29:51,250 --> 01:29:53,010
He should put that into a wardrobe.
1432
01:29:53,542 --> 01:29:55,500
He'd have to get Jackie to fix it for him.
1433
01:29:56,750 --> 01:29:59,583
Well, Dr No,
you haven't done badly, considering.
1434
01:29:59,667 --> 01:30:01,792
A handicap is
what you make of it...
109459
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