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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,756 - A famous comedian once said, 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,260 "Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery." 3 00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:11,886 And in 1985, 4 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,805 my mixed Dominican family and I were about 5 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:16,850 to flatter the hell out of the United States of America. 6 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,145 - Okay, you got to explain this to me again. 7 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,813 What does Miami have that we don't have? 8 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,189 Different coconuts? 9 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,691 - Are you kidding me? - No. 10 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,026 - "I want my MTV." "Coke is it." 11 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:30,447 "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?" 12 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:34,117 - America is the leader in global marketing. 13 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,952 This promotion is a huge opportunity. 14 00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:38,580 - I still can't believe Adela didn't talk you out of this. 15 00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:40,957 - I can't wait to get off this island. 16 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,375 Okay, take everything. 17 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,544 If it's not in a box, I won't need it in Miami. 18 00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:46,838 - Adela, are you sure you don't want your cafetera? 19 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:48,840 How are you gonna make your cafecito? 20 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,467 - I have two words for you... 21 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,135 Mr. Coffee. 22 00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,393 Cucu! Cucu! 23 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,520 - That little gordita was me, 24 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,981 Cucu Castelli, three decades ago. 25 00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:06,107 Give me that. 26 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,984 Gordita means "little chubby," 27 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:11,321 and in the Dominican Republic, it's a term of endearment. 28 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,364 - Cucu, what are you doing with that rum? 29 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,034 - Saving the party. Tío Rico's at it again. 30 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:19,496 Last time, he almost spun tía Chila half to death. 31 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,959 - Tonta! My "Tiger Beats" are ruined. 32 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,104 You cut out the page with "The Boys of 'The Breakfast Club, '" 33 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:29,547 and now the only one left is Judd Nelson. 34 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:30,882 - Sorry, Emilia. 35 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,725 I needed them for my American Dreams collage. 36 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,344 - Ugh! - No, no, no, no. 37 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:35,947 Give me the bottle. Give me the bottle! 38 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,391 - They're here! 39 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,602 - ¿Qué te pasa? Dame eso. 40 00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:44,354 - I'm gonna miss you all so much. 41 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,606 But I promise, I'll write. 42 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:49,150 - You'll probably be too busy with your new American friends, 43 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:52,153 Rob Lowe, los Goonies, Teen Wolf. 44 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,696 - Don't worry. 45 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,907 No matter how many cool new American friends I make, 46 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,827 you guys will all hold a special place in my heart. 47 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,079 And when you come to visit, we can all go to Epcot 48 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,873 and eat cheeseburgers with Michael Jackson. 49 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,876 That was back when America was riding high on Burger King 50 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,419 and the King of Pop. 51 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,213 Eh, con permiso! 52 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,466 We would just like to say thank you 53 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,218 for this beautiful send-off. 54 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,387 Santo Domingo will always be home for us. 55 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,931 - Yes, but only for a few more days, because we are soon gonna 56 00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,766 have a gorgeous new home in Miami. 57 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,120 - Ah, well, we will come back as often as we can 58 00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:26,646 for, uh, birthdays and holidays. 59 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,064 - Yeah, but probably not this year 60 00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:30,275 because we'll spend Navidad in the Keys. 61 00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:32,360 - And you'll always be welcome in our new home. 62 00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:34,070 - Yes, which will have a pool... 63 00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,530 And maybe a Jacuzzi. 64 00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:36,865 Ay! 65 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:39,993 - Well, raise your glass with us as we toast 66 00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,327 to the United States! 67 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,705 - The greatest country in the world! 68 00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,719 - Are you sure this is it? 69 00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,179 The song said "America the beautiful." 70 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,682 I think they oversold it. - I hate it here. 71 00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:05,268 If we don't go home, I'll die or run away. 72 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,228 Either way, it'll be something dramatic. 73 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,206 - Don't worry... we'll only be here for a few days. 74 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,065 And then we'll move to our dream house 75 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,568 in the suburbs, like papi promised, 76 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:14,986 with the lampposts 77 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,280 and the sidewalks and the green lions. 78 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,490 - Oh, actually, you mean lawns, Adela, 79 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,783 green lawns. 80 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,702 - That's what I said. 81 00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:25,330 And you girls will have the perfect American childhood, 82 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,123 unlike me, who grew up in a one-room shack 83 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:28,958 with six people and a rooster named Pinto. 84 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,836 - Girls, there's an American saying, 85 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,880 "Leap, and the net will appear." 86 00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:35,173 Hmm? 87 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,926 Give America a chance. 88 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:41,304 What do you say? Will you leap? 89 00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:53,483 Like American astronaut Neil Armstrong once said, 90 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,443 "It's one small step for man, 91 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:58,196 one giant leap for the Castelli family." 92 00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:01,324 - Oh. 93 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:02,659 - Ugh. 94 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:03,952 - You know, in some cultures, 95 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,662 this is considered very good luck. 96 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,665 97 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:24,055 - Back in Santo Domingo, 98 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,683 my sister and I went to an all-girls Catholic school 99 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,978 that was all about chastity, obedience, 100 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,689 and piety. 101 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:35,149 Miami Palms Junior High, however, 102 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:39,529 well, let's just say, it would have made the nuns cry. 103 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,494 - Everybody here looks like Madonna, 104 00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:48,454 even the boys. 105 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,960 - What do you think you're doing? 106 00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,920 How do I look? 107 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,880 - Like you're auditioning for Mary Magdalene 108 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,048 in the Easter play. 109 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,341 I can see your belly button. 110 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,677 - You're just jealous, Boobido. 111 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,846 - Boobido? What's Boobido? 112 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,323 - It's when your belly sticks out farther 113 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,558 than your boobies do. 114 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,518 - Hey. 115 00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,270 You're new, right? 116 00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:13,438 I'm Chad, 117 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,107 part of the, uh, welcoming committee. 118 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,568 Can I escort you to homeroom? 119 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,112 - Just like the boys in "Tiger Beat." 120 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,791 - Hey! Watch where you're going, fatso. 121 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,961 - Oh, my name's not fatso. It's Cucu. 122 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,337 Nice to meet you. 123 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:44,427 - Hey. Fatso means gordita, gordita. 124 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:47,472 - And that's how I learned that in America, 125 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:50,099 gordita was not a compliment. 126 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,517 Here. - Thanks. 127 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,894 - Oh. - Oh. 128 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:59,484 - And it turned out, I wasn't the only one surprised 129 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,943 by American ways. 130 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,379 So you're our new VP 131 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:05,740 of marketing for Latin America. 132 00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:09,285 I'm sorry. I don't speak the español. 133 00:06:09,368 --> 00:06:12,288 - Well, that's okay. I speak the English. 134 00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:14,624 - Oh, God. I'm Betsy from HR. 135 00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:15,792 Please don't tell anyone 136 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,227 I assumed you didn't speak English. 137 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:18,854 I'd hate to write another report on myself. 138 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,672 - Follow me. 139 00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:25,301 So, if you sign here, here, and here, 140 00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:27,387 that'll make it all official. 141 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,014 Oh, before I forget, here's your first week's pay 142 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,974 in advance, per your request. 143 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,226 - Thank you. 144 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,103 Transnational moves are so expensive, 145 00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:38,231 and, uh, my wife wants to buy a home as soon as possible, so... 146 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:41,150 - That's nice. 147 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,069 - Oh. 148 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,613 I'm sorry. I think there's been a mistake. 149 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:48,950 Um, this is not my full salary. 150 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,368 - No, that's right. 151 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:53,704 This is your full week's salary after taxes. 152 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,331 - Huh. 153 00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,500 Um, in the Dominican Republic, 154 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,460 uh, taxes are more of a suggestion. 155 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,837 Um... 156 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,380 This feels like I'm being mugged. 157 00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:04,090 - Don't I know. 158 00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,425 Every week a third of my paycheck goes to Uncle Sam, 159 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:09,095 and for what... roads with potholes, the space shuttle? 160 00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:11,222 Why are we sending our money to NASA? 161 00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,015 They're never taking us to the moon. 162 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:16,060 I need my money here on Earth. 163 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,312 - Uh, I agree. 164 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,481 Um... For a country that calls itself 165 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,608 "land of the free," this place sure is expensive. 166 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,193 - Welcome to America. 167 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,112 - While papi was introduced to the concept 168 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,697 of federal income tax, 169 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,866 I was trying to make sense of the 15 minutes 170 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,910 of roll call and anarchy also known as homeroom. 171 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:36,247 What do bananas, cigars, and medical appliances 172 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,416 all have in common with me? 173 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:41,335 We're all exports from the Dominican Republic. 174 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,880 Hi, I'm Cucu, and... 175 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,760 all: I pledge allegiance to the flag 176 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,846 of the United States of America... 177 00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:55,016 - Back home, I knew every prayer in the book... 178 00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,018 The Lord's Prayer, the Ave María, 179 00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,853 heck, I knew the whole rosary, 180 00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:01,898 but this flag prayer was a new one for me. 181 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,983 Never mind a different country, 182 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:06,485 I felt like I was on a different planet. 183 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,238 Everyone dressed, acted, and even smelled different 184 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,449 than my friends back home. 185 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:13,117 And just when I thought 186 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:15,745 things couldn't get any weirder... 187 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,792 You kissed a boy... 188 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,377 before marriage? 189 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:24,629 You know better. 190 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:27,298 You took human anatomy from a nun. 191 00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:31,177 Remember what Sister Ofelia said about the vas deferens? 192 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:34,055 It's the Devil's shotgun. 193 00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,765 I'm telling mami. 194 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,168 - If you tell mami, I'll make sure 195 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,310 the whole school calls you Boobido. 196 00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,103 - Fine. 197 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,273 Then just tell me, what does his tongue taste like? 198 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,192 And then I saw it... 199 00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:48,110 The answer to my problems... 200 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,904 The Under the Sea dance. 201 00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:53,616 Back in the DR, I planned all the school dances... 202 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:56,577 The Valentine's Day dance... 203 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,747 the Christmas dance... 204 00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:04,126 the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary dance. 205 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,170 If I got on that committee and threw the best 206 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:09,340 Under the Sea dance those kids had ever seen, 207 00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:11,884 everyone would want to be my friend. 208 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,928 - Thank you. Thank you. 209 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,890 - I came in on the Mariel boatlift, 210 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,810 so I have experience both over and under the sea. 211 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,020 - My stepfather's a fisherman, 212 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,981 so I can use his equipment as decorations 213 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:28,526 and turn the gym into a mini Miami River... 214 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,613 Minus the sewage and the dead bodies, of course. 215 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,699 216 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:37,994 - She was tough... Tougher than the nuns. 217 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,288 - All right, Yoshy. 218 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:41,789 You're in. 219 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:43,791 - But the gym better only look like the river, 220 00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:44,874 not smell like it. 221 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,460 - Thank you, Safi. 222 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,840 - Ashley Bell, start talking. 223 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,008 - I can lead a group dance. 224 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,384 I know every move to "Thriller," 225 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:54,927 I can do the Chicken Dance, 226 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,738 and I even know some musical theater numbers. 227 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,015 Five, six, seven, eight... - Next. 228 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,309 - In DR, those ideas would've gotten 229 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,768 a standing ovation. 230 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,687 - New girl. 231 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,605 Any ideas? 232 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:07,940 - Me? 233 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,860 All of a sudden, my mind was blank. 234 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:14,238 Yes. Yes. So many ideas. 235 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:18,034 Um, what do you think about balloon arches? 236 00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,827 - We're planning a school dance, 237 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,329 not selling used cars. 238 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,539 - Right. Right. 239 00:10:23,622 --> 00:10:25,625 Um, what about sand? 240 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,418 - Like the quicksand you're sinking in 241 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,295 with these awful ideas? Next. 242 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:32,048 - What if the DJ plays dolphin sounds? 243 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,508 What if all the food was shrimp! 244 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:38,387 The stress to impress was too much, and I was panicking. 245 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:43,934 So I did what papi said to do. I leaped. 246 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:47,063 I can get the one and only Gloria Estefan 247 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,397 to perform at the dance. 248 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,399 Well, maybe I lied. 249 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,444 Becau... because... 250 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,237 she's my aunt. 251 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,948 - Okay, new girl, you're in. 252 00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,242 But if you don't deliver, the entire committee 253 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,203 will do the Chicken Dance... 254 00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:03,287 on your face. 255 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:06,207 256 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,752 - Oh, my God, I cannot believe 257 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,129 that Gloria Estefan, Latin pop superstar 258 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,256 and the pride of every Cuban, is your aunt. 259 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,759 - Me neither. But she is, I swear. 260 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,344 - Okay, well, whatever you need, 261 00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,346 I'm at your service, except Sundays. 262 00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:22,056 That's when abuela and I go to church 263 00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:23,516 to pray for Castro's death. 264 00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:24,934 Then we go to Denny's. 265 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:31,107 - Estefan, Carlos. Estefan, Fernando. 266 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,858 Estefan, Ignacio. 267 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,568 No Estefan, Gloria. 268 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:37,446 But Michael Jackson's in here, like, 50 times. 269 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:41,200 Hey, give that back... I'm about to make an important call. 270 00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:42,952 - Chad said to call him at 8:00. 271 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:45,180 Who are you gonna call anyway? You haven't made any friends. 272 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,414 - None of your business. 273 00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:48,999 - What's going on? 274 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,460 - Crazy Cucu lied and told the kids at school 275 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,963 that she could get her aunt Gloria Estefan 276 00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,631 to sing at the dance. 277 00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:56,799 - It wasn't a lie. 278 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,300 If we're all God's children, 279 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,886 then technically we're all related. 280 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,030 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 281 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,806 An americano school dance? 282 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,307 Como like in the movie "Grease"? 283 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,184 I've always dreamed of a dance like that. 284 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,787 Do they need chaperones? Because I'm available. 285 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,729 - Mami! She lied, and you're happy? 286 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,023 - Okay, yeah, okay. No, lying is not good. 287 00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:15,401 Pero Cucu made a leap, 288 00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:19,447 and now she is a bold americana. 289 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,990 - So just curious, 290 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,492 but how long after the leap will the net appear? 291 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,412 Because it would be great if it could happen by, like, Friday. 292 00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:28,140 - Well, one of the great things about America 293 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,082 is that you can provide your own net. 294 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,334 - Ah. - So let's send Ms. Estefan 295 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,878 a letter at her record label 296 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,797 and make her an offer she can't refuse, hmm? 297 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,133 It's the American way. 298 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,885 Also the Italian way. Hmm? 299 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,344 - Papi never missed a chance 300 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,804 to remind us he was half Italian. 301 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,347 - Oh, and make sure to tell Gloria 302 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,349 about our housewarming party... But just her. 303 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,853 I don't need the Sound Machine messing up my new carpet. 304 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:56,150 - The very next day, mami and papi toured a home 305 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,277 for sale in beautiful Miami Palms... 306 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,655 A suburb filled with sidewalks, lampposts, 307 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,824 and plush green lions. 308 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,202 - And this is the spacious living room, 309 00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,204 which looks out to the home's best feature, 310 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,538 a pool, 311 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,540 which is why it's priced a little bit higher. 312 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,209 - Ay, my God, can't you just see 313 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,877 our two girls splashing around out there 314 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,213 and me looking fabulous, holding a martini poolside? 315 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,465 Oh, my God, if Pinto could just see me now. 316 00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:23,093 - Uh, eh, a pool? Um, is that really necessary? 317 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,721 Um, because, you know, drowning in your own pool 318 00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:27,806 accounts for 7% of all accidental deaths. 319 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,767 I mean, don't you want to die of old age 320 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,560 like a regular person? 321 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,145 Ah. 322 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:36,315 I, uh... I need to use a phone. - Uh, over there. 323 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,486 Oh, here you go. Take a look at this. 324 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,488 There has been a lot of interest in this home. 325 00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,073 - Oh. - So wanted to let you know. 326 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,242 - No! No, no, y no! 327 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,744 No, you need to shoot them inside the plane. 328 00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,472 We're gonna be in a lot of trouble if you shoot them 329 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,622 outside the plane. 330 00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:01,298 - So, uh, what line of work is your husband in? 331 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,384 - Business. He just got a big promotion 332 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:05,261 because the guy before him was... kkt. 333 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,280 So I am praying that things go better for my husband. 334 00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:09,056 Ay. 335 00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,140 - Right. 336 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,725 - You have to remember, 337 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,394 this was Miami in the '80s. 338 00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,104 Back then, only doctors 339 00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:17,314 and drug dealers had pagers. 340 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,024 So, if he wasn't a doctor, 341 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,110 you can guess what the real estate agent concluded. 342 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,779 - Uh, on second thought, maybe this house isn't, um, 343 00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:25,614 uh, quite right for... for you. 344 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,783 - No, no, no, I love it. Don't you? 345 00:14:27,866 --> 00:14:29,285 - Yes. I mean, no, I don't know! 346 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,679 I don't know anything. I didn't see anything. 347 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,788 I'm nobody. 348 00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:34,123 - Okay. 349 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,458 Ah, well, we'd like to make an offer. 350 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,127 - Great. Great. 351 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,671 Uh, come to my office Friday. I'll have the paperwork... 352 00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:42,172 I'll... I'll have it ready. 353 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,716 - Okay. 354 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,802 Mi amor! 355 00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:48,721 Carpet all over. 356 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,308 Your posters are fabulous. 357 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,601 Love the sparkle. 358 00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:54,684 - Thanks, Yoshy. 359 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,812 I inhaled a lot of glitter, 360 00:14:56,895 --> 00:14:58,814 but what's art without suffering? 361 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,232 - Wow. 362 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,651 That's the most beautiful poster I've ever seen. 363 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,987 But, of course, you're Gloria Estefan's niece. 364 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,363 Talent's in your blood. 365 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:09,575 - Yep, I'm her niece, and she's my aunt. 366 00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:10,868 Super related. 367 00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:13,162 - This dance is going to be so rad. 368 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,497 But you're putting your posters in the wrong places. 369 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:18,667 You should put them where the surfer guys smoke. 370 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,670 If the surfer guys come, then the bubblegum girls will come. 371 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,006 They're the popular girls, and if they come, 372 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,175 the bros will come, the cool Latin guys, 373 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,927 the jocks, and the Young Republicans. 374 00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:32,681 - Wow. You're like a walking encyclopedia 375 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,141 of American culture. 376 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,161 - Come on, I'll show you where to put your posters. 377 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,354 You got to put at least one under the bleachers. 378 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:41,815 Popular kids love dark spaces. 379 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,192 - And just like that, 380 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,152 19 posters and 4 paper cuts later, 381 00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,237 I was on my way to making not one, 382 00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:50,115 but dos American friends. 383 00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,535 - Hey, Chad. 384 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,704 I was wondering if you want to hang out later. 385 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,498 - Uh... 386 00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:58,832 Later? 387 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,418 Aw, shoot. I'm busy later. 388 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,921 A-and after later, too. Just... 389 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,048 pretty full schedule in general. 390 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,300 It's just easier to see you at the dance, cool? 391 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,010 - Uh, yeah. 392 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,012 Totally cool. 393 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,892 - Where's your boyfriend going? 394 00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:18,560 Besides hell. 395 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,730 - Ooh, I heard Chad's little mamacita got the hots 396 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,607 for his Oscar Mayer wiener. 397 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:26,235 - I heard she wouldn't let go of his Don Johnson. 398 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,738 - Emilia, do you know what they're saying? 399 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,281 They're saying you're the mamacita 400 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,867 and that you touched Chad's... - Oh, my God, no! 401 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,452 - Now do you miss the nuns? 402 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,538 Sister Ofelia would've choked them with her rosary. 403 00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:39,540 - Mami. 404 00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:41,083 You're supposed to wait in the car. 405 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,127 - Wait in the car? We're in Miami. 406 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,461 I'm melting. 407 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,258 Oh. 408 00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,051 What are those boys doing? - Nothing. 409 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:53,137 They're, uh, the birdwatching club. 410 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,431 Can we go? Please? 411 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,269 - Hey! 412 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,438 You're lucky I'm not a nun! 413 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,482 414 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,989 - Come on. No. - Mami, please. 415 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,782 I don't wanna talk about the kissy-kissy. 416 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,677 - No, we are going to talk about the kissy-kissy. 417 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,953 You can't let a boy kiss you so fast. 418 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,205 I mean, your father wrote me a book of poems 419 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,540 and bought me a mango tree 420 00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,751 before I even let him hold my hand. 421 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,170 - Cucu, look what just arrived. 422 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,630 - It's from Gloria! 423 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:39,057 - Actually, it's from somebody named Murray Rosenthal. 424 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,350 It says he's very sorry, 425 00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,811 but Gloria can't come to the dance 426 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,147 because she's on tour. 427 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,357 - And because she's an international superstar 428 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,401 and Billboard chart topper. 429 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,153 - Your classmates will understand. 430 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,988 - Yeah, teenagers are very understanding. 431 00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:54,990 - Emilia. - I thought in America, 432 00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:57,034 everything was possible. 433 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,869 Yoshy and Ashley are gonna hate me. 434 00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,329 - Ay. Cucu. 435 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:04,166 - Ay, Dios mío. 436 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,880 - Is it too late to invite Madonna? 437 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,009 - It's never too late to follow... 438 00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:15,552 Yes, y-yes, it is. 439 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:22,184 - I can't wait to meet Gloria. 440 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:23,685 You think she'll sign my guayabera? 441 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,020 - Wait. 442 00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:26,480 Is that Cuban for boy part? 443 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:28,857 If so, I touched my cousin's guayabera once. 444 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,320 By accident. - Hmm. 445 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,865 - Cucu, what's wrong? 446 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,575 You haven't said a word all lunch. 447 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:41,537 - It's Gloria, okay? She's not coming. 448 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:42,496 - Oh, no! 449 00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:44,164 Did she lose her voice? 450 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,542 Did she break an ankle? Did the rhythm finally get her? 451 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,378 - There was never going to be any rhythm, okay? 452 00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,672 I lied. Gloria's not my aunt. 453 00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,340 - Wait. 454 00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:56,134 So Miami Sound Machine didn't sing at your first Communion? 455 00:18:56,218 --> 00:19:01,390 I was sick with jealousy for days, Cucu... days! 456 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:03,892 Why'd you lie? 457 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,897 - Back home in Santo Domingo, I had a ton of friends. 458 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,524 But here... 459 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,361 I just wanted you guys to like me. 460 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,907 - I lied, too. My stepfather isn't a fisherman. 461 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,368 I bought the decorations with a loan from my abuela. 462 00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:23,704 I owe her 50 bucks and a foot rub. 463 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,622 - And I don't know the "Thriller" dance. 464 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:28,000 I've never even seen the video. 465 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,419 It's too scary. 466 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,380 - So you're still my friends? 467 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,759 Great! Let's never lie to each other again. 468 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,821 But, also, I need your help to lie to everybody else. 469 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,430 Do any of you guys know 470 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,599 of any other pop stars who live in Miami? 471 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,226 - My mom used to date the cantor at Temple Beth Shalom. 472 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,103 He can totally rock the shofar. 473 00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:50,105 He's like the Kenny G of the Jewish community. 474 00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:52,232 - Wait, wait, wait... What about someone who looks 475 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,026 like a popstar who lives in Miami? 476 00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:57,112 - I'm not sure about this. 477 00:19:57,195 --> 00:19:59,115 We haven't even had the house inspected for mold. 478 00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:03,076 Mold is even more dangerous than swimming pools. 479 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,037 We should wait. - Why should we wait? 480 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,706 We want to give our daughters the best, right? 481 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,791 - Adela, there's something I need to tell you. 482 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,252 - Hello. Nice to see you both. 483 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,795 This is Hank, our security guard. 484 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,189 He'll be joining us for this transaction. 485 00:20:15,213 --> 00:20:17,341 - Oh, hello, Hank. Nice to meet you. 486 00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:20,802 - Um, I'm sorry, uh, why do we need a security guy? 487 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,846 - Oh, considering your line of work, 488 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,306 I just wanted to be safe. 489 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,183 - My line of work? 490 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,952 I don't think you know who you're talking to. 491 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,979 - Don't shoot! Please, God! I'm a single mother! 492 00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:36,360 - I'm a marketing executive at Starboard Air. 493 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:38,153 - Wait, wait, wait a minute. 494 00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:40,697 Did you think that my husband was a... 495 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,282 Drug... drug dealer? 496 00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:45,494 - No. 497 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:49,498 But you said he made "deals," and the last guy... kkt. 498 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,625 And then you yelled in Spanish. 499 00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:53,669 Oh, my... Please don't be offended. 500 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:59,508 - Oh, well, I most certainly am offended. 501 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,009 Mm-hmm. Yes. 502 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:04,221 You believe that because I'm a dashing Latino of means 503 00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:06,515 that I must be involved in the cocaine trade? 504 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:10,352 - Well, she didn't say... - How dare you, señora? 505 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,438 We are not going to be buying a house from this racist 506 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,023 for at least 18 to 24 months. 507 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,109 Let's go, Adela. - Hmm. 508 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:18,402 - I... 509 00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:21,863 - I already touched them all, so... 510 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:24,825 - While mami's dream house slipped through her fingers, 511 00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:26,618 I was crossing mine. 512 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:29,454 It was the night of my first American dance. 513 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:32,666 I had made a giant leap, and I was hoping it would pay off. 514 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,710 - Do you see Chad anywhere? 515 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:38,672 - Emilia, he told people that you touched his... 516 00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:40,173 pipi. 517 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,466 Have some self-respect. 518 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:42,843 - I'd mind my own business 519 00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:44,720 if I were you, Cucu Estefan. 520 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,556 - And if I were you, I'd keep my tongue in my own mouth. 521 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,268 - After the realty-office debacle, 522 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:52,853 papi tried cheering up mami 523 00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:54,980 by dressing up como en la movie "Grease." 524 00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:58,692 - You make a beautiful Sandy. 525 00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:01,236 - We lost a beautiful home because you're too sensitive. 526 00:22:01,319 --> 00:22:03,280 - Ay, Adela, just try to cheer up. 527 00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:04,823 - How can I cheer up? 528 00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:06,426 We wanted to give our girls a better life, 529 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,410 and that racist diabla ruined everything. 530 00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:11,580 - There will be other houses. - Will there? 531 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,290 We came here to leap forward, 532 00:22:13,373 --> 00:22:14,916 but it feels like we're stepping back. 533 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,044 We're living in one room just like I did growing up. 534 00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:18,712 Pinto would be so disappointed. 535 00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:23,091 - Adela, I think we need to talk. 536 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,843 - No, no. I don't want to talk. 537 00:22:24,926 --> 00:22:28,346 I'm gonna go chaperone and see if the ponche's spiked. 538 00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:43,945 - Girls, girls, come over, quick. 539 00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:45,989 Allow me to introduce you to the solution 540 00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:48,575 to all of our problems. 541 00:22:48,658 --> 00:22:49,910 - Oh, my God. 542 00:22:49,993 --> 00:22:52,621 543 00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:55,248 - This is Dr. Juan Julio, DDS... 544 00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:56,792 Board-certified dentist by day, 545 00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:58,794 Gloria Estefan impersonator by night. 546 00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,087 He fixed my cousin's overbite 547 00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:01,963 and performed at her quinceañera. 548 00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:05,467 - I also do braces, veneers, and bar mitzvahs. 549 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:07,511 - He looks more like Gloria Estefan 550 00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:09,387 than the real Gloria Estefan! 551 00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:11,098 Thank you so much for coming. 552 00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:14,476 And thank you, Yoshy. You're such a good friend. 553 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:23,360 - Come on. I promise I won't kiss you. 554 00:23:31,993 --> 00:23:33,995 - Emilia. What are you doing? 555 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,288 Get away from that boy! 556 00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:37,207 - Mami, please, leave me alone. 557 00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:38,792 Who I kiss is none of your business. 558 00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:40,269 - But his mother called, and his whole family 559 00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:42,212 has come down with aliento de perro. 560 00:23:42,295 --> 00:23:44,005 - Wait, what? What the hell is that? 561 00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:48,009 - Oh, it's very serious, and you must go home immediately. 562 00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:49,177 - What's your problem? 563 00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,346 - I think I have aliento de perro. 564 00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:56,059 - That means "breath of a dog." 565 00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,436 I can start a rumor, too, dog breath. 566 00:24:04,025 --> 00:24:06,194 Thank you, mami. - Of course, mi'ja. 567 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:07,654 I just want you to know 568 00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:09,739 that your mami will always be there for you, 569 00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:12,117 because no matter what country we're in, 570 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,368 boys are idiots. 571 00:24:13,451 --> 00:24:14,703 - Got it. - All right. 572 00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:19,166 - And now the moment you've all been waiting for... 573 00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:21,376 all: Gloria! Gloria! Gloria! 574 00:24:25,338 --> 00:24:26,715 - Oh, my God! 575 00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,134 - Miami Palms Dance Committee proudly presents 576 00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:32,804 the most sought-after entertainer in America... 577 00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:34,890 and the best idea I've ever approved... 578 00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:37,267 all: Gloria! Gloria! 579 00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:38,727 - Gloria Estefan! 580 00:24:53,408 --> 00:24:54,993 - He's fantastic. 581 00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:02,459 - Is that Gloria? 582 00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:04,586 - Maybe she changed her mind? 583 00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,841 - Oh, God. 584 00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:11,468 - That's not the real Gloria! 585 00:25:11,551 --> 00:25:14,429 - Who the hell's that? 586 00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:18,183 all: We want Gloria! 587 00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:22,270 We want Gloria! We want Gloria! 588 00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:24,189 - This is a bait and switch. 589 00:25:24,272 --> 00:25:26,942 I warned you, new girl. 590 00:25:27,025 --> 00:25:28,735 - What? 591 00:25:28,818 --> 00:25:31,029 I'm as surprised as you are. 592 00:25:31,112 --> 00:25:32,948 My aunt's actually my uncle? 593 00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:36,076 - I'm gonna make your life a living hell. 594 00:25:36,159 --> 00:25:37,661 - We want the real Gloria! 595 00:25:37,744 --> 00:25:39,120 - Yeah, give us Gloria! 596 00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:41,957 - Cucu, what do we do now? 597 00:25:48,004 --> 00:25:51,132 - In that moment, I realized 598 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:54,261 I had been so worried about the lie of the party 599 00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:58,306 that I forgot that I could be the life of the party. 600 00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:01,226 - What the heck is she doing? 601 00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:04,938 - The conga was my net. 602 00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:26,501 - Please. 603 00:26:26,584 --> 00:26:29,421 - I can't believe I'm doing this. 604 00:26:29,504 --> 00:26:30,839 - Girls, come on. 605 00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:57,615 - Well, you did it, Cucu. 606 00:26:58,950 --> 00:27:00,368 - I guess I did. 607 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,203 I made two American friends, 608 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:06,041 saved the dance, and found us a new dentist. 609 00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:08,001 The leap paid off after all. 610 00:27:08,084 --> 00:27:11,379 611 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:12,714 Thanks for your help. 612 00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:14,132 - What are sisters for? 613 00:27:14,215 --> 00:27:16,968 - Maybe they're for showing a certain gordita 614 00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:19,846 how to turn a friend into a boyfriend? 615 00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:25,393 - Oh, night, Cucu. 616 00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:27,854 - Night. 617 00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:39,240 I need to tell you something. 618 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:40,867 The reason I didn't buy the house 619 00:27:40,950 --> 00:27:43,036 wasn't because that real estate lady was racist. 620 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:46,122 I mean, she was, but the reason I didn't buy it 621 00:27:46,206 --> 00:27:48,375 is because we can't afford it. 622 00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,543 - ¿Qué? - Well... 623 00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:53,838 The truth is that I overestimated my pay 624 00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:56,424 and underestimated the cost of living. 625 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:59,552 I mean, the taxes here, they're astronomical. 626 00:27:59,636 --> 00:28:02,097 I mean, that's what pays for the sidewalks 627 00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:03,973 and the lampposts and the... 628 00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:06,643 - The green lions? 629 00:28:06,726 --> 00:28:08,645 - The green lions. 630 00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:13,400 I'm so sorry. 631 00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:14,901 I promised you a better life, 632 00:28:14,984 --> 00:28:17,487 and I'm ashamed that I can't give it to you... 633 00:28:17,570 --> 00:28:18,863 - No... - Yet. 634 00:28:18,947 --> 00:28:20,407 - Víctor. 635 00:28:21,699 --> 00:28:26,454 I know I talk about big houses and fancy dishwashers 636 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:28,873 and white pickle fences. 637 00:28:28,957 --> 00:28:30,267 - It's actually white "picket" fences. 638 00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:31,876 - You cannot help yourself, can you? 639 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,002 - Sorry. 640 00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:36,005 - But even if I don't have that 641 00:28:36,089 --> 00:28:39,509 and I just have you and my two girls, 642 00:28:39,592 --> 00:28:41,136 I'll be happy. 643 00:28:43,888 --> 00:28:45,515 - Querida. 644 00:28:45,598 --> 00:28:47,058 - Mm. 645 00:28:50,061 --> 00:28:51,539 - But we really do need a washing machine, 646 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:53,314 because if I have to hand-wash one more pair 647 00:28:53,398 --> 00:28:56,484 of your pantaloncillos, it's gonna affect our sex life. 648 00:28:56,568 --> 00:29:00,738 - All of a sudden, I am very motivated to fix this problem. 649 00:29:03,116 --> 00:29:04,659 - So we moved not to a suburb 650 00:29:04,742 --> 00:29:07,620 with lampposts and green lions but to Hialeah, 651 00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:09,456 a working-class Cuban neighborhood 652 00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:12,292 surrounded by our fellow caribeños. 653 00:29:13,668 --> 00:29:16,337 It wasn't the house we had dreamed about... 654 00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:20,091 But it became our new home. 655 00:29:20,175 --> 00:29:23,386 We even got the pool mami wanted. 656 00:29:23,470 --> 00:29:26,598 Well... almost the pool mami wanted. 657 00:29:27,807 --> 00:29:29,976 The United States turned out to be very different 658 00:29:30,059 --> 00:29:32,061 than any of us had imagined. 659 00:29:32,145 --> 00:29:35,940 But in a way, there was something familiar about it. 660 00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:37,775 - Mami! Ow. - Por favor. 661 00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:40,069 - I guess that's because, like many immigrants... 662 00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:42,071 - Mr. Coffee! Oh! 663 00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:45,200 - I would learn that you can make a home anywhere... 664 00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:50,872 As long as you're surrounded by the people you love. 665 00:29:52,999 --> 00:29:55,919 And America had better get ready, 666 00:29:56,002 --> 00:29:59,839 because this gordita had very big plans. 49136

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