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00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,756
- A famous comedian once said,
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00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,260
"Immigration is the
sincerest form of flattery."
3
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:11,886
And in 1985,
4
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,805
my mixed Dominican
family and I were about
5
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:16,850
to flatter the hell out of
the United States of America.
6
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,145
- Okay, you got to
explain this to me again.
7
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,813
What does Miami have
that we don't have?
8
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,189
Different coconuts?
9
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,691
- Are you kidding me?
- No.
10
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,026
- "I want my MTV."
"Coke is it."
11
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:30,447
"Pardon me, do you
have any Grey Poupon?"
12
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:34,117
- America is the leader
in global marketing.
13
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,952
This promotion is
a huge opportunity.
14
00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:38,580
- I still can't believe Adela
didn't talk you out of this.
15
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:40,957
- I can't wait to
get off this island.
16
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,375
Okay, take everything.
17
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,544
If it's not in a box, I
won't need it in Miami.
18
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:46,838
- Adela, are you sure you
don't want your cafetera?
19
00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:48,840
How are you gonna
make your cafecito?
20
00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,467
- I have two words for you...
21
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,135
Mr. Coffee.
22
00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,393
Cucu! Cucu!
23
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,520
- That little gordita was me,
24
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,981
Cucu Castelli,
three decades ago.
25
00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:06,107
Give me that.
26
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,984
Gordita means "little chubby,"
27
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:11,321
and in the Dominican Republic,
it's a term of endearment.
28
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,364
- Cucu, what are you
doing with that rum?
29
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,034
- Saving the party.
Tío Rico's at it again.
30
00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:19,496
Last time, he almost spun
tía Chila half to death.
31
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,959
- Tonta! My "Tiger
Beats" are ruined.
32
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,104
You cut out the page with "The
Boys of 'The Breakfast Club, '"
33
00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:29,547
and now the only one
left is Judd Nelson.
34
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:30,882
- Sorry, Emilia.
35
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,725
I needed them for my
American Dreams collage.
36
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,344
- Ugh!
- No, no, no, no.
37
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:35,947
Give me the bottle.
Give me the bottle!
38
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,391
- They're here!
39
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,602
- ¿Qué te pasa? Dame eso.
40
00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:44,354
- I'm gonna miss
you all so much.
41
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,606
But I promise, I'll write.
42
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:49,150
- You'll probably be too busy
with your new American friends,
43
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:52,153
Rob Lowe, los
Goonies, Teen Wolf.
44
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,696
- Don't worry.
45
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,907
No matter how many cool new
American friends I make,
46
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,827
you guys will all hold a
special place in my heart.
47
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,079
And when you come to visit,
we can all go to Epcot
48
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,873
and eat cheeseburgers
with Michael Jackson.
49
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,876
That was back when America
was riding high on Burger King
50
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,419
and the King of Pop.
51
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,213
Eh, con permiso!
52
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,466
We would just like
to say thank you
53
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,218
for this beautiful send-off.
54
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,387
Santo Domingo will
always be home for us.
55
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,931
- Yes, but only for a few more
days, because we are soon gonna
56
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,766
have a gorgeous
new home in Miami.
57
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,120
- Ah, well, we will come
back as often as we can
58
00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:26,646
for, uh, birthdays and holidays.
59
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,064
- Yeah, but probably
not this year
60
00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:30,275
because we'll spend
Navidad in the Keys.
61
00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:32,360
- And you'll always be
welcome in our new home.
62
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:34,070
- Yes, which will have a pool...
63
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,530
And maybe a Jacuzzi.
64
00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:36,865
Ay!
65
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:39,993
- Well, raise your glass
with us as we toast
66
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,327
to the United States!
67
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,705
- The greatest
country in the world!
68
00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,719
- Are you sure this is it?
69
00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,179
The song said "America
the beautiful."
70
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,682
I think they oversold it.
- I hate it here.
71
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:05,268
If we don't go home,
I'll die or run away.
72
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,228
Either way, it'll be
something dramatic.
73
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,206
- Don't worry... we'll only
be here for a few days.
74
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,065
And then we'll move
to our dream house
75
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,568
in the suburbs,
like papi promised,
76
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:14,986
with the lampposts
77
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,280
and the sidewalks
and the green lions.
78
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,490
- Oh, actually, you
mean lawns, Adela,
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00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,783
green lawns.
80
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,702
- That's what I said.
81
00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:25,330
And you girls will have the
perfect American childhood,
82
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,123
unlike me, who grew
up in a one-room shack
83
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:28,958
with six people and a
rooster named Pinto.
84
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,836
- Girls, there's
an American saying,
85
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,880
"Leap, and the
net will appear."
86
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:35,173
Hmm?
87
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,926
Give America a chance.
88
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:41,304
What do you say?
Will you leap?
89
00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:53,483
Like American astronaut
Neil Armstrong once said,
90
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,443
"It's one small step for man,
91
00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:58,196
one giant leap for
the Castelli family."
92
00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:01,324
- Oh.
93
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:02,659
- Ugh.
94
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:03,952
- You know, in some cultures,
95
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,662
this is considered
very good luck.
96
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,665
97
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:24,055
- Back in Santo Domingo,
98
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,683
my sister and I went to an
all-girls Catholic school
99
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,978
that was all about
chastity, obedience,
100
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,689
and piety.
101
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:35,149
Miami Palms Junior
High, however,
102
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:39,529
well, let's just say, it
would have made the nuns cry.
103
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,494
- Everybody here
looks like Madonna,
104
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:48,454
even the boys.
105
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,960
- What do you
think you're doing?
106
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,920
How do I look?
107
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,880
- Like you're auditioning
for Mary Magdalene
108
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,048
in the Easter play.
109
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,341
I can see your belly button.
110
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,677
- You're just jealous, Boobido.
111
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,846
- Boobido? What's Boobido?
112
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,323
- It's when your belly
sticks out farther
113
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,558
than your boobies do.
114
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,518
- Hey.
115
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,270
You're new, right?
116
00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:13,438
I'm Chad,
117
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,107
part of the, uh,
welcoming committee.
118
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,568
Can I escort you to homeroom?
119
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,112
- Just like the boys
in "Tiger Beat."
120
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,791
- Hey! Watch where
you're going, fatso.
121
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,961
- Oh, my name's not
fatso. It's Cucu.
122
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,337
Nice to meet you.
123
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:44,427
- Hey. Fatso means
gordita, gordita.
124
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:47,472
- And that's how I
learned that in America,
125
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:50,099
gordita was not a compliment.
126
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,517
Here.
- Thanks.
127
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,894
- Oh.
- Oh.
128
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:59,484
- And it turned out, I
wasn't the only one surprised
129
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,943
by American ways.
130
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,379
So you're our new VP
131
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:05,740
of marketing for Latin America.
132
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:09,285
I'm sorry. I don't
speak the español.
133
00:06:09,368 --> 00:06:12,288
- Well, that's okay.
I speak the English.
134
00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:14,624
- Oh,
God. I'm Betsy from HR.
135
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:15,792
Please don't tell anyone
136
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,227
I assumed you didn't
speak English.
137
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:18,854
I'd hate to write
another report on myself.
138
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,672
- Follow me.
139
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:25,301
So, if you sign
here, here, and here,
140
00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:27,387
that'll make it all official.
141
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,014
Oh, before I forget, here's
your first week's pay
142
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,974
in advance, per your request.
143
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,226
- Thank you.
144
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,103
Transnational moves
are so expensive,
145
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:38,231
and, uh, my wife wants to buy a
home as soon as possible, so...
146
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:41,150
- That's nice.
147
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,069
- Oh.
148
00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,613
I'm sorry. I think
there's been a mistake.
149
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:48,950
Um, this is not my full salary.
150
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,368
- No, that's right.
151
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:53,704
This is your full week's
salary after taxes.
152
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,331
- Huh.
153
00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,500
Um, in the Dominican Republic,
154
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,460
uh, taxes are more
of a suggestion.
155
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,837
Um...
156
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,380
This feels like
I'm being mugged.
157
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:04,090
- Don't I know.
158
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,425
Every week a third of my
paycheck goes to Uncle Sam,
159
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:09,095
and for what... roads with
potholes, the space shuttle?
160
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:11,222
Why are we sending
our money to NASA?
161
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,015
They're never taking
us to the moon.
162
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:16,060
I need my money here on Earth.
163
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,312
- Uh, I agree.
164
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,481
Um... For a
country that calls itself
165
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,608
"land of the free," this
place sure is expensive.
166
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,193
- Welcome to America.
167
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,112
- While papi was
introduced to the concept
168
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,697
of federal income tax,
169
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,866
I was trying to make
sense of the 15 minutes
170
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,910
of roll call and anarchy
also known as homeroom.
171
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:36,247
What do bananas, cigars,
and medical appliances
172
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,416
all have in common with me?
173
00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:41,335
We're all exports from
the Dominican Republic.
174
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,880
Hi, I'm Cucu, and...
175
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,760
all: I pledge
allegiance to the flag
176
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,846
of the United
States of America...
177
00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:55,016
- Back home, I knew every
prayer in the book...
178
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,018
The Lord's Prayer,
the Ave María,
179
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,853
heck, I knew the whole rosary,
180
00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:01,898
but this flag prayer
was a new one for me.
181
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,983
Never mind a different country,
182
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:06,485
I felt like I was on
a different planet.
183
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,238
Everyone dressed, acted,
and even smelled different
184
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,449
than my friends back home.
185
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:13,117
And just when I thought
186
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:15,745
things couldn't
get any weirder...
187
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,792
You kissed a boy...
188
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,377
before marriage?
189
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:24,629
You know better.
190
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:27,298
You took human
anatomy from a nun.
191
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:31,177
Remember what Sister Ofelia
said about the vas deferens?
192
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:34,055
It's
the Devil's shotgun.
193
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,765
I'm telling mami.
194
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,168
- If you tell mami,
I'll make sure
195
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,310
the whole school
calls you Boobido.
196
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,103
- Fine.
197
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,273
Then just tell me, what
does his tongue taste like?
198
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,192
And then I saw it...
199
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:48,110
The answer to my problems...
200
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,904
The Under the Sea dance.
201
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:53,616
Back in the DR, I planned
all the school dances...
202
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:56,577
The Valentine's Day dance...
203
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,747
the Christmas dance...
204
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:04,126
the Immaculate Conception
of the Virgin Mary dance.
205
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,170
If I got on that committee
and threw the best
206
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:09,340
Under the Sea dance
those kids had ever seen,
207
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:11,884
everyone would want
to be my friend.
208
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,928
- Thank you. Thank you.
209
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,890
- I came in on the
Mariel boatlift,
210
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,810
so I have experience both
over and under the sea.
211
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,020
- My stepfather's a fisherman,
212
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,981
so I can use his
equipment as decorations
213
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:28,526
and turn the gym into
a mini Miami River...
214
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,613
Minus the sewage and the
dead bodies, of course.
215
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,699
216
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:37,994
- She was tough...
Tougher than the nuns.
217
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,288
- All right, Yoshy.
218
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:41,789
You're in.
219
00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:43,791
- But the gym better
only look like the river,
220
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:44,874
not smell like it.
221
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,460
- Thank you, Safi.
222
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,840
- Ashley Bell, start talking.
223
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,008
- I can lead a group dance.
224
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,384
I know every move to "Thriller,"
225
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:54,927
I can do the Chicken Dance,
226
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,738
and I even know some
musical theater numbers.
227
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,015
Five, six, seven, eight...
- Next.
228
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,309
- In DR, those ideas
would've gotten
229
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,768
a standing ovation.
230
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,687
- New girl.
231
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,605
Any ideas?
232
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:07,940
- Me?
233
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,860
All of a sudden,
my mind was blank.
234
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:14,238
Yes. Yes. So many ideas.
235
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:18,034
Um, what do you think
about balloon arches?
236
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,827
- We're planning a school dance,
237
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,329
not selling used cars.
238
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,539
- Right. Right.
239
00:10:23,622 --> 00:10:25,625
Um, what about sand?
240
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,418
- Like the quicksand
you're sinking in
241
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,295
with these awful ideas? Next.
242
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:32,048
- What if the DJ
plays dolphin sounds?
243
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,508
What if all the food was shrimp!
244
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:38,387
The stress to impress was too
much, and I was panicking.
245
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:43,934
So I did what papi
said to do. I leaped.
246
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:47,063
I can get the one
and only Gloria Estefan
247
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,397
to perform at the dance.
248
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,399
Well, maybe I lied.
249
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,444
Becau... because...
250
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,237
she's my aunt.
251
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,948
- Okay, new girl, you're in.
252
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,242
But if you don't deliver,
the entire committee
253
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,203
will do the Chicken Dance...
254
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:03,287
on your face.
255
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:06,207
256
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,752
- Oh, my God, I cannot believe
257
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,129
that Gloria Estefan,
Latin pop superstar
258
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,256
and the pride of every
Cuban, is your aunt.
259
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,759
- Me neither. But
she is, I swear.
260
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,344
- Okay, well, whatever you need,
261
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,346
I'm at your service,
except Sundays.
262
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:22,056
That's when abuela
and I go to church
263
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:23,516
to pray for Castro's death.
264
00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:24,934
Then we go to Denny's.
265
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:31,107
- Estefan, Carlos.
Estefan, Fernando.
266
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,858
Estefan, Ignacio.
267
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,568
No Estefan, Gloria.
268
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:37,446
But Michael Jackson's
in here, like, 50 times.
269
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:41,200
Hey, give that back... I'm
about to make an important call.
270
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:42,952
- Chad said to
call him at 8:00.
271
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:45,180
Who are you gonna call anyway?
You haven't made any friends.
272
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,414
- None of your business.
273
00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:48,999
- What's going on?
274
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,460
- Crazy Cucu lied and
told the kids at school
275
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,963
that she could get her
aunt Gloria Estefan
276
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,631
to sing at the dance.
277
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:56,799
- It wasn't a lie.
278
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,300
If we're all God's children,
279
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,886
then technically
we're all related.
280
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,030
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
281
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,806
An americano school dance?
282
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,307
Como like in the movie "Grease"?
283
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,184
I've always dreamed
of a dance like that.
284
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,787
Do they need chaperones?
Because I'm available.
285
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,729
- Mami! She lied,
and you're happy?
286
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,023
- Okay, yeah, okay.
No, lying is not good.
287
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:15,401
Pero Cucu made a leap,
288
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:19,447
and now she is a bold americana.
289
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,990
- So just curious,
290
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,492
but how long after the
leap will the net appear?
291
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,412
Because it would be great if it
could happen by, like, Friday.
292
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:28,140
- Well, one of the great
things about America
293
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,082
is that you can
provide your own net.
294
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,334
- Ah.
- So let's send Ms. Estefan
295
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,878
a letter at her record label
296
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,797
and make her an offer
she can't refuse, hmm?
297
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,133
It's the American way.
298
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,885
Also the Italian way. Hmm?
299
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,344
- Papi never missed a chance
300
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,804
to remind us he
was half Italian.
301
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,347
- Oh, and make
sure to tell Gloria
302
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,349
about our housewarming
party... But just her.
303
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,853
I don't need the Sound Machine
messing up my new carpet.
304
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:56,150
- The very next day, mami
and papi toured a home
305
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,277
for sale in beautiful
Miami Palms...
306
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,655
A suburb filled with
sidewalks, lampposts,
307
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,824
and plush green lions.
308
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,202
- And this is the
spacious living room,
309
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,204
which looks out to the
home's best feature,
310
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,538
a pool,
311
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,540
which is why it's priced
a little bit higher.
312
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,209
- Ay, my God, can't you just see
313
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,877
our two girls splashing
around out there
314
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,213
and me looking fabulous,
holding a martini poolside?
315
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,465
Oh, my God, if Pinto
could just see me now.
316
00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:23,093
- Uh, eh, a pool? Um, is
that really necessary?
317
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,721
Um, because, you know,
drowning in your own pool
318
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:27,806
accounts for 7% of
all accidental deaths.
319
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,767
I mean, don't you
want to die of old age
320
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,560
like a regular person?
321
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,145
Ah.
322
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:36,315
I, uh... I need to use a phone.
- Uh, over there.
323
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,486
Oh, here you go.
Take a look at this.
324
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,488
There has been a lot of
interest in this home.
325
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,073
- Oh.
- So wanted to let you know.
326
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,242
- No! No, no, y no!
327
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,744
No, you need to shoot
them inside the plane.
328
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,472
We're gonna be in a lot of
trouble if you shoot them
329
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,622
outside the plane.
330
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:01,298
- So, uh, what line of
work is your husband in?
331
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,384
- Business. He just
got a big promotion
332
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:05,261
because the guy
before him was... kkt.
333
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,280
So I am praying that things
go better for my husband.
334
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:09,056
Ay.
335
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,140
- Right.
336
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,725
- You have to remember,
337
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,394
this was Miami in the '80s.
338
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,104
Back then, only doctors
339
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:17,314
and drug dealers had pagers.
340
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,024
So, if he wasn't a doctor,
341
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,110
you can guess what the real
estate agent concluded.
342
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,779
- Uh, on second thought,
maybe this house isn't, um,
343
00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:25,614
uh, quite right for... for you.
344
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,783
- No, no, no, I
love it. Don't you?
345
00:14:27,866 --> 00:14:29,285
- Yes. I mean,
no, I don't know!
346
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,679
I don't know anything.
I didn't see anything.
347
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,788
I'm nobody.
348
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:34,123
- Okay.
349
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,458
Ah, well, we'd like
to make an offer.
350
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,127
- Great. Great.
351
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,671
Uh, come to my office Friday.
I'll have the paperwork...
352
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:42,172
I'll... I'll have it ready.
353
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,716
- Okay.
354
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,802
Mi amor!
355
00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:48,721
Carpet all over.
356
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,308
Your posters are fabulous.
357
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,601
Love the sparkle.
358
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:54,684
- Thanks, Yoshy.
359
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,812
I inhaled a lot of glitter,
360
00:14:56,895 --> 00:14:58,814
but what's art
without suffering?
361
00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,232
- Wow.
362
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,651
That's the most beautiful
poster I've ever seen.
363
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,987
But, of course, you're
Gloria Estefan's niece.
364
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,363
Talent's in your blood.
365
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:09,575
- Yep, I'm her niece,
and she's my aunt.
366
00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:10,868
Super related.
367
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:13,162
- This dance is
going to be so rad.
368
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,497
But you're putting your
posters in the wrong places.
369
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:18,667
You should put them where
the surfer guys smoke.
370
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,670
If the surfer guys come, then
the bubblegum girls will come.
371
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,006
They're the popular
girls, and if they come,
372
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,175
the bros will come,
the cool Latin guys,
373
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,927
the jocks, and the
Young Republicans.
374
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:32,681
- Wow. You're like a
walking encyclopedia
375
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,141
of American culture.
376
00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,161
- Come on, I'll show you
where to put your posters.
377
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,354
You got to put at least
one under the bleachers.
378
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:41,815
Popular kids love dark spaces.
379
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,192
- And just like that,
380
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,152
19 posters and 4
paper cuts later,
381
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,237
I was on my way
to making not one,
382
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:50,115
but dos American friends.
383
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,535
- Hey, Chad.
384
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,704
I was wondering if you
want to hang out later.
385
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,498
- Uh...
386
00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:58,832
Later?
387
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,418
Aw, shoot. I'm busy later.
388
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,921
A-and after later,
too. Just...
389
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,048
pretty full schedule in general.
390
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,300
It's just easier to see
you at the dance, cool?
391
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,010
- Uh, yeah.
392
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,012
Totally cool.
393
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,892
- Where's your boyfriend going?
394
00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:18,560
Besides hell.
395
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,730
- Ooh, I heard Chad's
little mamacita got the hots
396
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,607
for his Oscar Mayer wiener.
397
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:26,235
- I heard she wouldn't
let go of his Don Johnson.
398
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,738
- Emilia, do you know
what they're saying?
399
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,281
They're saying
you're the mamacita
400
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,867
and that you touched Chad's...
- Oh, my God, no!
401
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,452
- Now do you miss the nuns?
402
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,538
Sister Ofelia would've
choked them with her rosary.
403
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:39,540
- Mami.
404
00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:41,083
You're supposed to
wait in the car.
405
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,127
- Wait in the car?
We're in Miami.
406
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,461
I'm melting.
407
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,258
Oh.
408
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,051
What are those boys doing?
- Nothing.
409
00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:53,137
They're, uh, the
birdwatching club.
410
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,431
Can we go? Please?
411
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,269
- Hey!
412
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,438
You're lucky I'm not a nun!
413
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,482
414
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,989
- Come on. No.
- Mami, please.
415
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,782
I don't wanna talk
about the kissy-kissy.
416
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,677
- No, we are going to talk
about the kissy-kissy.
417
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,953
You can't let a boy
kiss you so fast.
418
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,205
I mean, your father
wrote me a book of poems
419
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,540
and bought me a mango tree
420
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,751
before I even let
him hold my hand.
421
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,170
- Cucu, look what just arrived.
422
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,630
- It's from Gloria!
423
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:39,057
- Actually, it's from somebody
named Murray Rosenthal.
424
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,350
It says he's very sorry,
425
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,811
but Gloria can't
come to the dance
426
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,147
because she's on tour.
427
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,357
- And because she's an
international superstar
428
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,401
and Billboard chart topper.
429
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,153
- Your classmates
will understand.
430
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,988
- Yeah, teenagers are
very understanding.
431
00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:54,990
- Emilia.
- I thought in America,
432
00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:57,034
everything was possible.
433
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,869
Yoshy and Ashley
are gonna hate me.
434
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,329
- Ay. Cucu.
435
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:04,166
- Ay, Dios mío.
436
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,880
- Is it too late
to invite Madonna?
437
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,009
- It's never too
late to follow...
438
00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:15,552
Yes, y-yes, it is.
439
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:22,184
- I can't wait to meet Gloria.
440
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:23,685
You think she'll
sign my guayabera?
441
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,020
- Wait.
442
00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:26,480
Is that Cuban for boy part?
443
00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:28,857
If so, I touched my
cousin's guayabera once.
444
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,320
By accident.
- Hmm.
445
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,865
- Cucu, what's wrong?
446
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,575
You haven't said
a word all lunch.
447
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:41,537
- It's Gloria, okay?
She's not coming.
448
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:42,496
- Oh, no!
449
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:44,164
Did she lose her voice?
450
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,542
Did she break an ankle? Did
the rhythm finally get her?
451
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,378
- There was never going
to be any rhythm, okay?
452
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,672
I lied. Gloria's not my aunt.
453
00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,340
- Wait.
454
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:56,134
So Miami Sound Machine didn't
sing at your first Communion?
455
00:18:56,218 --> 00:19:01,390
I was sick with
jealousy for days, Cucu... days!
456
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:03,892
Why'd you lie?
457
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,897
- Back home in Santo Domingo,
I had a ton of friends.
458
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,524
But here...
459
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,361
I just wanted you
guys to like me.
460
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,907
- I lied, too. My stepfather
isn't a fisherman.
461
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,368
I bought the decorations
with a loan from my abuela.
462
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:23,704
I owe her 50 bucks
and a foot rub.
463
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,622
- And I don't know
the "Thriller" dance.
464
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:28,000
I've never even seen the video.
465
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,419
It's too scary.
466
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,380
- So you're still my friends?
467
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,759
Great! Let's never lie
to each other again.
468
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,821
But, also, I need your help
to lie to everybody else.
469
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,430
Do any of you guys know
470
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,599
of any other pop stars
who live in Miami?
471
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,226
- My mom used to date the
cantor at Temple Beth Shalom.
472
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,103
He can totally rock the shofar.
473
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:50,105
He's like the Kenny G
of the Jewish community.
474
00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:52,232
- Wait, wait, wait... What
about someone who looks
475
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,026
like a popstar who
lives in Miami?
476
00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:57,112
- I'm not sure about this.
477
00:19:57,195 --> 00:19:59,115
We haven't even had the
house inspected for mold.
478
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:03,076
Mold is even more dangerous
than swimming pools.
479
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,037
We should wait.
- Why should we wait?
480
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,706
We want to give our
daughters the best, right?
481
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,791
- Adela, there's something
I need to tell you.
482
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,252
- Hello. Nice to see you both.
483
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,795
This is Hank, our
security guard.
484
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,189
He'll be joining us
for this transaction.
485
00:20:15,213 --> 00:20:17,341
- Oh, hello, Hank.
Nice to meet you.
486
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:20,802
- Um, I'm sorry, uh, why
do we need a security guy?
487
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,846
- Oh, considering
your line of work,
488
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,306
I just wanted to be safe.
489
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,183
- My line of work?
490
00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,952
I don't think you know
who you're talking to.
491
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,979
- Don't shoot! Please,
God! I'm a single mother!
492
00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:36,360
- I'm a marketing
executive at Starboard Air.
493
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:38,153
- Wait, wait, wait a minute.
494
00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:40,697
Did you think that
my husband was a...
495
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,282
Drug... drug dealer?
496
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:45,494
- No.
497
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:49,498
But you said he made "deals,"
and the last guy... kkt.
498
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,625
And then you yelled in Spanish.
499
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:53,669
Oh, my... Please
don't be offended.
500
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:59,508
- Oh, well, I most
certainly am offended.
501
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,009
Mm-hmm. Yes.
502
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:04,221
You believe that because I'm
a dashing Latino of means
503
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:06,515
that I must be involved
in the cocaine trade?
504
00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:10,352
- Well, she didn't say...
- How dare you, señora?
505
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,438
We are not going to be buying
a house from this racist
506
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,023
for at least 18 to 24 months.
507
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,109
Let's go, Adela.
- Hmm.
508
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:18,402
- I...
509
00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:21,863
- I already touched
them all, so...
510
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:24,825
- While mami's dream house
slipped through her fingers,
511
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:26,618
I was crossing mine.
512
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:29,454
It was the night of my
first American dance.
513
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:32,666
I had made a giant leap, and
I was hoping it would pay off.
514
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,710
- Do you see Chad anywhere?
515
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:38,672
- Emilia, he told people
that you touched his...
516
00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:40,173
pipi.
517
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,466
Have some self-respect.
518
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:42,843
- I'd mind my own business
519
00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:44,720
if I were you, Cucu Estefan.
520
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,556
- And if I were you, I'd keep
my tongue in my own mouth.
521
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,268
- After the
realty-office debacle,
522
00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:52,853
papi tried cheering up mami
523
00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:54,980
by dressing up como
en la movie "Grease."
524
00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:58,692
- You make a beautiful Sandy.
525
00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:01,236
- We lost a beautiful home
because you're too sensitive.
526
00:22:01,319 --> 00:22:03,280
- Ay, Adela, just
try to cheer up.
527
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:04,823
- How can I cheer up?
528
00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:06,426
We wanted to give our
girls a better life,
529
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,410
and that racist diabla
ruined everything.
530
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:11,580
- There will be other houses.
- Will there?
531
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,290
We came here to leap forward,
532
00:22:13,373 --> 00:22:14,916
but it feels like
we're stepping back.
533
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,044
We're living in one room
just like I did growing up.
534
00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:18,712
Pinto would be so disappointed.
535
00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:23,091
- Adela,
I think we need to talk.
536
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,843
- No, no. I don't
want to talk.
537
00:22:24,926 --> 00:22:28,346
I'm gonna go chaperone and
see if the ponche's spiked.
538
00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:43,945
- Girls, girls,
come over, quick.
539
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:45,989
Allow me to introduce
you to the solution
540
00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:48,575
to all of our problems.
541
00:22:48,658 --> 00:22:49,910
- Oh, my God.
542
00:22:49,993 --> 00:22:52,621
543
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:55,248
- This is Dr. Juan Julio, DDS...
544
00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:56,792
Board-certified dentist by day,
545
00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:58,794
Gloria Estefan
impersonator by night.
546
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,087
He fixed my cousin's overbite
547
00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:01,963
and performed at
her quinceañera.
548
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:05,467
- I also do braces,
veneers, and bar mitzvahs.
549
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:07,511
- He looks more
like Gloria Estefan
550
00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:09,387
than the real Gloria Estefan!
551
00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:11,098
Thank you so much for coming.
552
00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:14,476
And thank you, Yoshy.
You're such a good friend.
553
00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:23,360
- Come on. I promise
I won't kiss you.
554
00:23:31,993 --> 00:23:33,995
- Emilia. What are you doing?
555
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,288
Get away from that boy!
556
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:37,207
- Mami, please, leave me alone.
557
00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:38,792
Who I kiss is none
of your business.
558
00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:40,269
- But his mother called,
and his whole family
559
00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:42,212
has come down with
aliento de perro.
560
00:23:42,295 --> 00:23:44,005
- Wait, what? What
the hell is that?
561
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:48,009
- Oh, it's very serious, and
you must go home immediately.
562
00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:49,177
- What's your problem?
563
00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,346
- I think I have
aliento de perro.
564
00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:56,059
- That means "breath of a dog."
565
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,436
I can start a rumor,
too, dog breath.
566
00:24:04,025 --> 00:24:06,194
Thank you, mami.
- Of course, mi'ja.
567
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:07,654
I just want you to know
568
00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:09,739
that your mami will
always be there for you,
569
00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:12,117
because no matter
what country we're in,
570
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,368
boys are idiots.
571
00:24:13,451 --> 00:24:14,703
- Got it.
- All right.
572
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:19,166
- And now the moment you've
all been waiting for...
573
00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:21,376
all:
Gloria! Gloria! Gloria!
574
00:24:25,338 --> 00:24:26,715
- Oh, my God!
575
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,134
- Miami Palms Dance
Committee proudly presents
576
00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:32,804
the most sought-after
entertainer in America...
577
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:34,890
and the best idea
I've ever approved...
578
00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:37,267
all:
Gloria! Gloria!
579
00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:38,727
- Gloria Estefan!
580
00:24:53,408 --> 00:24:54,993
- He's fantastic.
581
00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:02,459
- Is that Gloria?
582
00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:04,586
- Maybe she changed her mind?
583
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,841
- Oh, God.
584
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:11,468
- That's not the real Gloria!
585
00:25:11,551 --> 00:25:14,429
- Who the hell's that?
586
00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:18,183
all:
We want Gloria!
587
00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:22,270
We want Gloria!
We want Gloria!
588
00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:24,189
- This is a bait and switch.
589
00:25:24,272 --> 00:25:26,942
I warned you, new girl.
590
00:25:27,025 --> 00:25:28,735
- What?
591
00:25:28,818 --> 00:25:31,029
I'm as surprised as you are.
592
00:25:31,112 --> 00:25:32,948
My aunt's actually my uncle?
593
00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:36,076
- I'm gonna make your
life a living hell.
594
00:25:36,159 --> 00:25:37,661
- We want the real Gloria!
595
00:25:37,744 --> 00:25:39,120
- Yeah, give us Gloria!
596
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:41,957
- Cucu, what do we do now?
597
00:25:48,004 --> 00:25:51,132
- In that moment, I realized
598
00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:54,261
I had been so worried
about the lie of the party
599
00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:58,306
that I forgot that I could
be the life of the party.
600
00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:01,226
- What the heck is she doing?
601
00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:04,938
- The conga was my net.
602
00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:26,501
- Please.
603
00:26:26,584 --> 00:26:29,421
- I can't believe
I'm doing this.
604
00:26:29,504 --> 00:26:30,839
- Girls, come on.
605
00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:57,615
- Well, you did it, Cucu.
606
00:26:58,950 --> 00:27:00,368
- I guess I did.
607
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,203
I made two American friends,
608
00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:06,041
saved the dance, and
found us a new dentist.
609
00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:08,001
The leap paid off after all.
610
00:27:08,084 --> 00:27:11,379
611
00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:12,714
Thanks for your help.
612
00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:14,132
- What are sisters for?
613
00:27:14,215 --> 00:27:16,968
- Maybe they're for
showing a certain gordita
614
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:19,846
how to turn a friend
into a boyfriend?
615
00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:25,393
- Oh, night, Cucu.
616
00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:27,854
- Night.
617
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:39,240
I need to tell you something.
618
00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:40,867
The reason I didn't
buy the house
619
00:27:40,950 --> 00:27:43,036
wasn't because that real
estate lady was racist.
620
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:46,122
I mean, she was, but the
reason I didn't buy it
621
00:27:46,206 --> 00:27:48,375
is because we can't afford it.
622
00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,543
- ¿Qué?
- Well...
623
00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:53,838
The truth is that I
overestimated my pay
624
00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:56,424
and underestimated
the cost of living.
625
00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:59,552
I mean, the taxes here,
they're astronomical.
626
00:27:59,636 --> 00:28:02,097
I mean, that's what
pays for the sidewalks
627
00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:03,973
and the lampposts and the...
628
00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:06,643
- The green lions?
629
00:28:06,726 --> 00:28:08,645
- The green lions.
630
00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:13,400
I'm so sorry.
631
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:14,901
I promised you a better life,
632
00:28:14,984 --> 00:28:17,487
and I'm ashamed that I
can't give it to you...
633
00:28:17,570 --> 00:28:18,863
- No...
- Yet.
634
00:28:18,947 --> 00:28:20,407
- Víctor.
635
00:28:21,699 --> 00:28:26,454
I know I talk about big
houses and fancy dishwashers
636
00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:28,873
and white pickle fences.
637
00:28:28,957 --> 00:28:30,267
- It's actually white
"picket" fences.
638
00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:31,876
- You cannot help
yourself, can you?
639
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,002
- Sorry.
640
00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:36,005
- But even if I don't have that
641
00:28:36,089 --> 00:28:39,509
and I just have you
and my two girls,
642
00:28:39,592 --> 00:28:41,136
I'll be happy.
643
00:28:43,888 --> 00:28:45,515
- Querida.
644
00:28:45,598 --> 00:28:47,058
- Mm.
645
00:28:50,061 --> 00:28:51,539
- But we really do
need a washing machine,
646
00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:53,314
because if I have to
hand-wash one more pair
647
00:28:53,398 --> 00:28:56,484
of your pantaloncillos, it's
gonna affect our sex life.
648
00:28:56,568 --> 00:29:00,738
- All of a sudden, I am very
motivated to fix this problem.
649
00:29:03,116 --> 00:29:04,659
- So we moved not to a suburb
650
00:29:04,742 --> 00:29:07,620
with lampposts and green
lions but to Hialeah,
651
00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:09,456
a working-class
Cuban neighborhood
652
00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:12,292
surrounded by our
fellow caribeños.
653
00:29:13,668 --> 00:29:16,337
It wasn't the house we
had dreamed about...
654
00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:20,091
But it became our new home.
655
00:29:20,175 --> 00:29:23,386
We even got the
pool mami wanted.
656
00:29:23,470 --> 00:29:26,598
Well... almost the
pool mami wanted.
657
00:29:27,807 --> 00:29:29,976
The United States turned
out to be very different
658
00:29:30,059 --> 00:29:32,061
than any of us had imagined.
659
00:29:32,145 --> 00:29:35,940
But in a way, there was
something familiar about it.
660
00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:37,775
- Mami! Ow.
- Por favor.
661
00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:40,069
- I guess that's because,
like many immigrants...
662
00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:42,071
- Mr. Coffee! Oh!
663
00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:45,200
- I would learn that you
can make a home anywhere...
664
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:50,872
As long as you're surrounded
by the people you love.
665
00:29:52,999 --> 00:29:55,919
And America had
better get ready,
666
00:29:56,002 --> 00:29:59,839
because this gordita
had very big plans.
49136
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