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1
00:00:04,448 --> 00:00:06,684
(indistinct chatter)
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00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:13,724
* *
3
00:00:18,028 --> 00:00:20,364
You guys!
You guys!
4
00:00:21,031 --> 00:00:22,866
Oh, my God,
you're not gonna believe this!
5
00:00:22,966 --> 00:00:25,336
-Dude, what?
-You guys... (panting)
6
00:00:26,670 --> 00:00:29,873
Heather Williams
farted during P.E. class.
7
00:00:29,973 --> 00:00:32,443
-So?
-So?
8
00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:34,412
Heather Williams
farted during P.E. class!
9
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:36,647
That means we are
gonna sit courtside
10
00:00:36,747 --> 00:00:38,382
at the Denver Nuggets game
next Saturday!
11
00:00:38,482 --> 00:00:39,683
(muffled shouting)
12
00:00:39,783 --> 00:00:40,618
What?
13
00:00:40,718 --> 00:00:42,420
Ugh! Heather Williams' mom
14
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,621
works for Coors in Golden!
15
00:00:43,721 --> 00:00:45,389
Coors is
the second biggest sponsor
16
00:00:45,489 --> 00:00:47,091
of the Pepsi Center
where the Nuggets play!
17
00:00:47,191 --> 00:00:48,826
We tell Heather that if she
doesn't get us courtside seats,
18
00:00:48,926 --> 00:00:50,694
then everyone's gonna know
she farted in P.E. class!
19
00:00:50,794 --> 00:00:53,897
Whoa. I've never seen
a Nuggets game in person.
20
00:00:53,997 --> 00:00:55,999
Well, we're about to! All we
have to do is show Heather
21
00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,701
we have proof
and she'll do whatever we want!
22
00:00:57,801 --> 00:00:59,103
What proof do you have?
23
00:00:59,203 --> 00:01:00,538
Kenny had his phone out!
24
00:01:00,638 --> 00:01:01,839
He got a photo of Heather
right when she farted.
25
00:01:01,939 --> 00:01:04,708
Look! Isn't this awesome,
you guys?!
26
00:01:04,808 --> 00:01:07,111
-Let's go, Nuggets!
-(clapping rhythmically)
27
00:01:07,211 --> 00:01:09,380
ALL:
Let's go, Nuggets!
28
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:12,082
Let's go, Nuggets!
29
00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:14,017
(school bell rings)
30
00:01:15,653 --> 00:01:18,522
Kids! Kids, can I
have your attention, please.
31
00:01:18,622 --> 00:01:22,092
Kids, listen up.
This is an emergency.
32
00:01:22,193 --> 00:01:26,864
Everything is fine but...
we are sending you all home.
33
00:01:26,964 --> 00:01:28,366
(confused chatter)
34
00:01:28,466 --> 00:01:30,768
Some of you may have heard
but there's a little virus
35
00:01:30,868 --> 00:01:33,604
going around and the school
district wants to make sure
36
00:01:33,704 --> 00:01:36,140
we're all safe,
so we're shutting down
37
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,342
the school for about two weeks.
38
00:01:38,442 --> 00:01:40,511
Two weeks?! Yippie!
39
00:01:40,611 --> 00:01:42,313
(excited chatter)
40
00:01:42,413 --> 00:01:43,714
Oh, not now.
41
00:01:43,814 --> 00:01:45,983
Your parents are here to
pick you up. So let's go.
42
00:01:46,083 --> 00:01:48,886
I'm sure it's nothing; we'll
see you in a couple of weeks.
43
00:01:48,986 --> 00:01:51,054
You guys-- you guys,
Heather Thompson
44
00:01:51,155 --> 00:01:53,524
farted in P.E. class! Guys?
45
00:01:57,094 --> 00:01:59,697
ADULT STAN: Every night
I have the same dream,
46
00:01:59,797 --> 00:02:02,032
and relive
the whole thing again...
47
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,602
ANDREW CUOMO:
It's called social distancing.
48
00:02:04,702 --> 00:02:06,637
If we stay six feet apart
from each other
49
00:02:06,737 --> 00:02:08,239
and wear a mask...
50
00:02:08,339 --> 00:02:11,108
And also I'm shutting down
the city and I'm a pervert.
51
00:02:11,209 --> 00:02:13,211
And we've got to get control
of this thing!
52
00:02:13,311 --> 00:02:15,613
RANDY:
I'm just getting sick of
being here every day with you,
53
00:02:15,713 --> 00:02:16,947
-that's all.
-SHARON: You think
54
00:02:17,047 --> 00:02:19,082
I like being here every day
with you?!
55
00:02:19,183 --> 00:02:20,818
RANDY: I am much easier
to get along with
56
00:02:20,918 --> 00:02:22,686
during a stay-at-home order!
57
00:02:22,786 --> 00:02:25,456
* Happy birthday to you *
58
00:02:25,556 --> 00:02:29,427
* Happy birthday, dear Stan... *
59
00:02:31,329 --> 00:02:33,564
* *
60
00:02:38,802 --> 00:02:41,939
Come on, Stan,
we're gonna visit Grandpa!
61
00:02:42,039 --> 00:02:44,242
Hi, Grandpa!
62
00:02:44,342 --> 00:02:45,843
OTHERS:
Hi, Grandpa!
63
00:02:45,943 --> 00:02:49,012
RANDY: Isn't it great
to see Grandpa, kids?
64
00:02:49,112 --> 00:02:50,781
Look, let's just face it,
you guys.
65
00:02:50,881 --> 00:02:53,717
We don't trust each other
and we don't like each other.
66
00:02:54,852 --> 00:02:56,754
I hate this stupid farm.
67
00:02:58,422 --> 00:03:01,925
In the dream,
I relive the entire pandemic.
68
00:03:02,893 --> 00:03:04,495
SHARON:
Oh, God, no!
69
00:03:04,595 --> 00:03:06,997
My little girl!
(sobbing)
70
00:03:07,097 --> 00:03:09,166
Oh, no! Oh, God!
71
00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:10,801
* *
72
00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:15,273
Now that I'm older,
the dream isn't just a dream
73
00:03:15,373 --> 00:03:20,110
because the whole pandemic
has started all over again.
74
00:03:26,317 --> 00:03:28,552
* *
75
00:03:37,995 --> 00:03:40,030
* *
76
00:03:55,646 --> 00:03:58,949
NEWSMAN: A brand-new variant
of the COVID virus has emerged
77
00:03:59,049 --> 00:04:01,485
in Colorado
and now panic and fear
78
00:04:01,585 --> 00:04:02,986
spreads throughout the world.
79
00:04:03,086 --> 00:04:05,122
The new outbreak started
with the death
80
00:04:05,222 --> 00:04:07,358
of renowned scientist
Kenny McCormick,
81
00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:10,694
and has therefore been named
Kenny McCormikron.
82
00:04:10,794 --> 00:04:13,931
It's been 38 years since
the pandemic first started,
83
00:04:14,031 --> 00:04:17,000
and people are beginning
to say enough is enough.
84
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:20,070
The town of South Park has been
put under strict lockdown
85
00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:22,005
to try and contain
the new variant.
86
00:04:22,105 --> 00:04:26,610
Nobody is allowed in or out for
the next 20 to 30 years.
87
00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:28,245
(siren wailing)
88
00:04:28,346 --> 00:04:30,080
MALE VOICE: Attention.
You are under quarantine.
89
00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:33,150
Someone in your community
is not vaccinated.
90
00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:36,820
Maintain social distance and
wear a chin diaper if possible.
91
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,890
Attention.
You are under quarantine.
92
00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:42,192
Someone in your community
is not vaccinated.
93
00:04:42,292 --> 00:04:45,295
Maintain social distance
and wear a chin diaper
94
00:04:45,396 --> 00:04:46,830
if possible.
95
00:04:46,930 --> 00:04:49,166
Attention.
You are under quarantine.
96
00:04:49,266 --> 00:04:51,602
Someone in your community
is not...
97
00:04:51,702 --> 00:04:55,539
(woman speaking Japanese)
98
00:04:55,639 --> 00:04:58,108
MALE VOICE 2:
Come on inside and rejuvenate.
99
00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:01,244
Denny's is now
Denny's Applebee's Max.
100
00:05:01,345 --> 00:05:03,046
Taste the difference.
101
00:05:03,146 --> 00:05:05,783
(soft electronic music playing)
102
00:05:07,117 --> 00:05:08,719
Welcome to
Denny's Applebee's Max.
103
00:05:08,819 --> 00:05:10,153
Just one joining us today?
104
00:05:11,121 --> 00:05:12,289
Listen to me very carefully
105
00:05:12,390 --> 00:05:14,525
and try not to
change your expression.
106
00:05:14,625 --> 00:05:16,894
They could be listening.
107
00:05:16,994 --> 00:05:20,931
This... is the last
sprout of Tegridy Weed.
108
00:05:21,031 --> 00:05:24,134
We have to get it somewhere
outside of town.
109
00:05:24,234 --> 00:05:26,370
Sir, the whole town is
under quarantine.
110
00:05:26,470 --> 00:05:28,171
Nothing's allowed in or out.
111
00:05:28,271 --> 00:05:29,873
We have to replicate it.
112
00:05:29,973 --> 00:05:32,743
It's the only way for people
to have Tegridy again.
113
00:05:32,843 --> 00:05:34,878
Uh, okay, sir,
if you don't want to eat,
114
00:05:34,978 --> 00:05:36,380
then I'll need to
ask you to leave.
115
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,916
Don't you understand
this could change the world.
116
00:05:39,016 --> 00:05:40,984
Maybe the Denny's side
of you doesn't care,
117
00:05:41,084 --> 00:05:43,954
but the Applebee's side of you
must want to help!
118
00:05:44,054 --> 00:05:45,523
There you are, Mr. Marsh.
119
00:05:45,623 --> 00:05:48,058
Come on. Time to go
back to the old folks home.
120
00:05:48,158 --> 00:05:50,861
I can't go back!
Everyone listen!
121
00:05:50,961 --> 00:05:53,931
This little sprout
is humanity's only hope!
122
00:05:54,031 --> 00:05:56,667
Let's go back to
the retirement home.
123
00:05:56,767 --> 00:05:58,502
We can get you
some nice ice cream, okay?
124
00:05:58,602 --> 00:06:01,972
I don't want ice cream,
I want my species to survive!
125
00:06:02,072 --> 00:06:04,475
-Back off!
-Let's go, Mr. Marsh!
126
00:06:04,575 --> 00:06:06,444
Don't make this
difficult for us!
127
00:06:06,544 --> 00:06:08,311
(yelling)
128
00:06:12,483 --> 00:06:14,818
Why, you son of a bitch.
129
00:06:20,257 --> 00:06:22,359
(grunting)
130
00:06:26,964 --> 00:06:29,500
-Come on, Mr. Marsh.
-Who...?
131
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,871
It's me, Token.
We know about the pangolin.
132
00:06:35,105 --> 00:06:37,074
Your son and his friends
are trying to stop all this
133
00:06:37,174 --> 00:06:39,943
from happening. We need
to get you to Kenny's lab.
134
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:46,817
Dr. Kenneth McCormick
will now be attempting to
135
00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:49,252
travel back in time
in order to stop
136
00:06:49,352 --> 00:06:52,055
the COVID pandemic
from ever happening.
137
00:06:52,155 --> 00:06:53,891
WENDY: At the moment
Kenny time traveled,
138
00:06:53,991 --> 00:06:56,093
he blew all the transformers
here in the lab.
139
00:06:56,193 --> 00:06:58,228
If you're going to try
and replicate his work,
140
00:06:58,328 --> 00:07:00,030
we'll be doing it
at half capacity.
141
00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:02,165
The bigger problem
is that we can't even get
142
00:07:02,265 --> 00:07:04,201
into half of Kenny's equipment.
143
00:07:04,301 --> 00:07:07,237
We have access to the machines,
but the codes to operate
144
00:07:07,337 --> 00:07:10,440
those machines are behind
an 86-Mag firewall
145
00:07:10,541 --> 00:07:11,842
with restricted access,
146
00:07:11,942 --> 00:07:13,977
requiring an in-person
vocal scan of either
147
00:07:14,077 --> 00:07:17,280
Kenny McCormick or of
his associate, Victor Chouce.
148
00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:20,751
But Kenny is dead and Chouce is
locked away in a mental asylum.
149
00:07:20,851 --> 00:07:22,953
So we go to the asylum
and convince them
150
00:07:23,053 --> 00:07:25,188
to let us
bring Chouce here, easy.
151
00:07:25,288 --> 00:07:26,423
There's more.
152
00:07:26,524 --> 00:07:28,058
(alarm blaring over video)
153
00:07:28,158 --> 00:07:30,494
When Kenny bent time,
the negative ions
154
00:07:30,594 --> 00:07:32,563
actually killed
everyone else in the room.
155
00:07:32,663 --> 00:07:35,999
We have to find some thin,
reflective material
156
00:07:36,099 --> 00:07:38,301
that can be worn
to bounce the energy.
157
00:07:38,401 --> 00:07:41,438
We're going to need...
some aluminum foil.
158
00:07:41,539 --> 00:07:44,542
* *
159
00:07:44,642 --> 00:07:46,443
Jesus Christ.
160
00:07:46,544 --> 00:07:47,845
Aluminum foil?
161
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:50,614
That's impossible, Wendy.
It's the fucking future.
162
00:07:50,714 --> 00:07:52,215
All the aluminum foil is stuck
163
00:07:52,315 --> 00:07:54,317
out on cargo ships
in Long Beach.
164
00:07:54,417 --> 00:07:55,586
Yeah, I know.
165
00:07:55,686 --> 00:07:58,922
Look, guys, I know
this is all a long shot.
166
00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:01,158
But Kenny went
back in time and got COVID
167
00:08:01,258 --> 00:08:03,226
because it destroyed
our friendship.
168
00:08:03,326 --> 00:08:06,964
All of this is our fault,
and we can't do it without you.
169
00:08:07,064 --> 00:08:09,900
I'll help however I can
to stop this stupid pandemic
170
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,201
once and for all.
171
00:08:11,301 --> 00:08:13,270
Yeah, I can't be stuck
in quarantine
172
00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:16,707
my whole life-- I gotta get back
to my job doing future comedy.
173
00:08:16,807 --> 00:08:18,542
Speakin' of which,
what's the biggest
174
00:08:18,642 --> 00:08:21,311
difference between
a Christian man and a lesbian?
175
00:08:21,411 --> 00:08:23,246
Absolutely nothing.
They are totally the same
176
00:08:23,346 --> 00:08:25,115
and deserve
to be treated as such.
177
00:08:25,883 --> 00:08:28,085
Thanks, everybody.
We can do this!
178
00:08:28,185 --> 00:08:29,853
Wendy, you guys
stay here and try
179
00:08:29,953 --> 00:08:31,154
to get the lab running again.
180
00:08:31,254 --> 00:08:33,090
Kyle and I will go get
Victor Chouce.
181
00:08:33,190 --> 00:08:35,258
Tweek and Craig, you guys find
some aluminum foil.
182
00:08:35,358 --> 00:08:38,395
-How the hell do we do that?!
-Just start looking!
183
00:08:38,495 --> 00:08:39,630
Come on, guys!
184
00:08:40,530 --> 00:08:43,701
-All right, let's do this!
-I'll drive, get in the back.
185
00:08:43,801 --> 00:08:47,370
Alexa! Set a course
for South Park Mental Asylum.
186
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:54,411
Alexa, set a course
for South Park Mental Asylum.
187
00:08:55,312 --> 00:08:57,014
Do you ever think
about how the way
188
00:08:57,114 --> 00:08:59,049
you act affects other people?
189
00:08:59,149 --> 00:09:01,752
Oh, no, goddamn it.
Not right now.
190
00:09:01,852 --> 00:09:03,921
Oh, yeah, don't wanna
talk about that.
191
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:06,189
Let's just pretend like
that's not even an issue.
192
00:09:06,289 --> 00:09:09,026
Alexa, please,
we have to get to the asylum
193
00:09:09,126 --> 00:09:10,761
and we don't know where it is.
194
00:09:10,861 --> 00:09:13,030
-Who's this?
-It's just my Alexa.
195
00:09:13,130 --> 00:09:15,933
"Just my Alexa"?
You're a piece of shit!
196
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,468
You're a fucking alcoholic
piece of shit!
197
00:09:18,568 --> 00:09:21,605
-Alexa...
-Find the asylum
your fucking self!
198
00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:23,573
Find it your fucking self.
199
00:09:23,674 --> 00:09:24,775
(sighs)
200
00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:26,343
You do whatever
the fuck you want
201
00:09:26,443 --> 00:09:29,046
and just destroy
the people around you.
202
00:09:29,146 --> 00:09:32,049
And by the way,
there's a tankless humidifier
203
00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:34,284
available from one
of your favorite sellers.
204
00:09:34,384 --> 00:09:35,619
Would you like to know more?!
205
00:09:35,719 --> 00:09:38,155
Yes, yes, I'd like to know more.
206
00:09:38,255 --> 00:09:41,992
(sniffles) Okay. The newest
humidifiers from Walgreens Max
207
00:09:42,092 --> 00:09:44,361
are actually tankless
and use up to 50%
208
00:09:44,461 --> 00:09:46,596
less water
than standard humidifiers.
209
00:09:46,697 --> 00:09:50,500
Okay, that's really cool. Uh,
add that to my shopping list.
210
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,336
Well, and people who
were interested
211
00:09:53,436 --> 00:09:55,906
in tankless humidifiers
were also interested in
212
00:09:56,006 --> 00:09:57,407
three-pack filters.
213
00:09:57,507 --> 00:09:59,609
That's great. Do those have
the Prime delivery?
214
00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:01,544
Dude, we don't really
have time for this.
215
00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:03,814
Dude, shut the fuck up!
216
00:10:03,914 --> 00:10:06,149
* *
217
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,956
Please help see us through
this new COVID variant.
218
00:10:13,056 --> 00:10:15,625
Please help us
to make it through this
219
00:10:15,726 --> 00:10:17,027
difficult quarantine.
220
00:10:17,127 --> 00:10:19,629
And let people see that...
221
00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:23,934
as bad as COVID is,
it's not as bad as diabetes.
222
00:10:24,034 --> 00:10:25,402
(door opens)
223
00:10:25,502 --> 00:10:26,870
Hello?
224
00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:29,639
Sorry, the church is closed
due to the COVID variant.
225
00:10:29,740 --> 00:10:33,744
Father, please.
Will you protect my family?
226
00:10:33,844 --> 00:10:35,713
Rabbi Cartman?
227
00:10:35,813 --> 00:10:37,981
My family isn't safe, Father.
228
00:10:38,081 --> 00:10:40,417
I realize now
that Kyle Broflovski
229
00:10:40,517 --> 00:10:42,452
will stop at nothing
to break us apart.
230
00:10:42,552 --> 00:10:44,755
Uncle Kyle hates us
because we're Jewish.
231
00:10:44,855 --> 00:10:46,924
And he's a self-hating Jew.
232
00:10:47,024 --> 00:10:48,726
Uncle Kyle, no, no, no!
233
00:10:48,826 --> 00:10:50,327
Menorah, hold your brother.
234
00:10:50,427 --> 00:10:52,696
As a fellow person of faith,
Father,
235
00:10:52,796 --> 00:10:53,964
I'm begging you to help us.
236
00:10:54,064 --> 00:10:56,066
Well, well,
what can I do, Rabbi?
237
00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:58,702
Kyle has already
convinced a bunch of people
238
00:10:58,802 --> 00:11:00,270
to join his cause.
239
00:11:00,370 --> 00:11:03,206
I have to create my own secret
rebellion to stop him.
240
00:11:03,306 --> 00:11:05,008
Eric, please, I'm scared
241
00:11:05,108 --> 00:11:07,277
and I don't understand
all of this.
242
00:11:08,245 --> 00:11:10,580
Kyle wants to go back in time...
243
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:14,151
and change the past so that you
and I possibly never even meet.
244
00:11:14,251 --> 00:11:18,588
If I never met you,
my life would be meaningless.
245
00:11:18,688 --> 00:11:23,326
Mine, too.
You are my whole world.
246
00:11:23,426 --> 00:11:27,998
I promise you that I will do
everything I can to stop Kyle...
247
00:11:28,098 --> 00:11:30,467
and save our family.
248
00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:32,602
* *
249
00:11:37,941 --> 00:11:39,576
(bird cawing)
250
00:11:41,244 --> 00:11:43,046
I understand that you wish
251
00:11:43,146 --> 00:11:44,681
to see one of our inmates.
252
00:11:44,782 --> 00:11:46,750
-Victor Chouce?
-Yeah.
253
00:11:46,850 --> 00:11:48,752
We-we have a lot of questions
for Mr. Chouce.
254
00:11:48,852 --> 00:11:52,422
He's an extremely dangerous
and diluted individual.
255
00:11:52,522 --> 00:11:54,858
We don't take
visitations lightly.
256
00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:56,726
What exactly did he do?
257
00:11:56,827 --> 00:11:58,528
Unspeakable things.
258
00:11:58,628 --> 00:12:02,800
He has destroyed lives.
This entire state has never seen
259
00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,367
a monster of his magnitude.
260
00:12:04,467 --> 00:12:06,770
I've lived in South Park
all my life
261
00:12:06,870 --> 00:12:08,305
and I've never heard of him.
262
00:12:08,405 --> 00:12:11,441
That's because Victor
has been hidden from view...
263
00:12:11,541 --> 00:12:14,677
ever since the pandemic began.
264
00:12:14,778 --> 00:12:18,548
Victor's parents were very
protective during the pandemic.
265
00:12:18,648 --> 00:12:20,583
Even when the stay-at-home
orders were lifted
266
00:12:20,683 --> 00:12:23,553
his parents kept him
locked away in his room.
267
00:12:24,521 --> 00:12:27,390
Victor longed to
go outside and play.
268
00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:33,330
Then 2021 happened, people
thought the pandemic was over.
269
00:12:33,430 --> 00:12:35,532
Victor's parents left
him grounded in his room
270
00:12:35,632 --> 00:12:38,568
while they went to
see a movie in Denver.
271
00:12:38,668 --> 00:12:40,237
They never returned.
272
00:12:40,337 --> 00:12:44,207
Victor was grounded in his room
for over 16 years.
273
00:12:46,143 --> 00:12:48,211
His name isn't Chouce.
274
00:12:48,311 --> 00:12:50,713
It's Chaos.
275
00:12:55,652 --> 00:12:59,089
We are not responsible for what
happens to you in there.
276
00:13:00,790 --> 00:13:02,125
I warn you...
277
00:13:02,225 --> 00:13:04,828
you are not going to like
what you're about to see.
278
00:13:15,772 --> 00:13:17,975
* *
279
00:13:18,075 --> 00:13:20,577
(clears throat)
Excuse me.
280
00:13:20,677 --> 00:13:21,845
Hello?
281
00:13:26,749 --> 00:13:28,651
Well, hey, fellas!
282
00:13:28,751 --> 00:13:30,220
Butters...
283
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,189
I thought you were
just the guards again.
284
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,324
It's good to see
some new faces in here.
285
00:13:34,424 --> 00:13:36,793
I'll bet you're looking to
make yourselves some money, huh?
286
00:13:36,894 --> 00:13:38,728
Well, you came to the right guy.
287
00:13:38,828 --> 00:13:40,697
My name's Vic. Vic Chaos.
288
00:13:40,797 --> 00:13:43,300
There's a whole lot of people
that can tell you how much money
289
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,869
Vic Chaos made them, so don't
just take my word for it.
290
00:13:45,969 --> 00:13:48,872
Butters, it's your old friends
Stan and Kyle.
291
00:13:48,972 --> 00:13:52,242
Stan and Kyle.
Stan and Kyle...
292
00:13:52,342 --> 00:13:53,743
I know what you're thinking.
293
00:13:53,843 --> 00:13:56,446
You're thinking,
"What can Vic Chaos do for me?"
294
00:13:56,546 --> 00:13:58,181
We all wanna be happy, right?
295
00:13:58,281 --> 00:14:00,250
We all want our little piece
of the apple pie!
296
00:14:00,350 --> 00:14:01,885
Everyone else
is out making a buck,
297
00:14:01,985 --> 00:14:03,921
why shouldn't you guys
be making the kind of cash
298
00:14:04,021 --> 00:14:05,555
you deserve? Am I right?
299
00:14:06,356 --> 00:14:08,491
Butters, we're here
to ask you about Kenny.
300
00:14:08,591 --> 00:14:10,460
Sorry, guys,
you have me confused.
301
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,695
I think Butters was
a twerpy little loser kid
302
00:14:12,795 --> 00:14:14,965
whose parents didn't love him.
My name's Vic.
303
00:14:15,065 --> 00:14:16,566
Vic Chaos.
304
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,904
Okay, Vic, can you tell us
about this?
305
00:14:21,004 --> 00:14:24,541
Why is your name all over
Kenny McCormick's research?
306
00:14:24,641 --> 00:14:28,045
Oh, Dr. McCormick! Sure,
I did some things for him.
307
00:14:28,145 --> 00:14:30,380
Where do you think he got all
the money to do his experiments,
308
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,449
huh? I had said to him,
I said, "Ken,
309
00:14:32,549 --> 00:14:34,217
"you've got all these
crazy ideas but you got
310
00:14:34,317 --> 00:14:37,620
no capital to see 'em through.
Let me help you out with that."
311
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:38,855
You know,
he's a really great guy.
312
00:14:38,956 --> 00:14:40,157
Let me get you all together.
313
00:14:40,257 --> 00:14:41,992
Maybe you can all
do a lunch or something.
314
00:14:42,092 --> 00:14:44,294
Victor, Kenny's dead.
315
00:14:44,394 --> 00:14:47,197
Oh, whoa, bummer alert.
(chuckles)
316
00:14:47,297 --> 00:14:50,433
Just goes to show you, huh,
there's never enough time to get
317
00:14:50,533 --> 00:14:51,969
out there
and make the kind of money
318
00:14:52,069 --> 00:14:53,536
you always dreamed of making.
319
00:14:53,636 --> 00:14:54,938
Well, I'll tell you what, guys,
320
00:14:55,038 --> 00:14:57,740
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret--
321
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,842
I'm gonna
tell you something that's
322
00:14:59,943 --> 00:15:01,511
going to change your life.
323
00:15:01,611 --> 00:15:04,114
Have you ever heard of NFTs?
324
00:15:04,214 --> 00:15:07,417
(alarm blaring)
325
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,396
(bubbling)
326
00:15:21,965 --> 00:15:26,569
There you go.
Shh. You're safe now.
327
00:15:26,669 --> 00:15:30,607
Look how fast you're growing.
Daddy loves you so much.
328
00:15:30,707 --> 00:15:33,410
Mr. Marsh, we need to
speak with you now, please.
329
00:15:33,510 --> 00:15:35,845
Yeah.
It's looking good.
330
00:15:35,945 --> 00:15:39,649
With the aquaponics, the weed is
already putting out new sprouts.
331
00:15:39,749 --> 00:15:43,620
Thank you all for helping me
get the Tegridy somewhere safe.
332
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,489
I know you all realize
how important it is.
333
00:15:46,589 --> 00:15:50,127
We don't actually care
about the marijuana, Mr. Marsh.
334
00:15:50,227 --> 00:15:51,828
What we need to know...
335
00:15:51,928 --> 00:15:54,831
is exactly where in
Wuhan, China you were
336
00:15:54,931 --> 00:15:58,501
when you had intercourse
with a pangolin.
337
00:16:00,503 --> 00:16:02,339
That's really not important.
338
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,874
It's extremely important
because to save this town,
339
00:16:04,974 --> 00:16:06,543
your son and his friends
are going to try
340
00:16:06,643 --> 00:16:09,179
to go back in time
and stop it from happening.
341
00:16:09,279 --> 00:16:11,948
That is the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
342
00:16:14,284 --> 00:16:15,952
Mr. Marsh,
we are all in lockdown
343
00:16:16,053 --> 00:16:17,320
for the next half century.
344
00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:19,322
If there's even a chance
of altering the past
345
00:16:19,422 --> 00:16:20,623
so that this doesn't happen...
346
00:16:20,723 --> 00:16:23,026
This is the key
to saving our town!
347
00:16:23,126 --> 00:16:27,064
The answer is in what we
all do now, in the present!
348
00:16:27,164 --> 00:16:29,132
And I'm sorry, but focusing on
349
00:16:29,232 --> 00:16:31,234
who started the pandemic
is racist.
350
00:16:32,069 --> 00:16:36,439
Mr. Marsh, exactly what week
did you travel to China in 2019?
351
00:16:36,539 --> 00:16:38,675
Do you understand
the butterfly effect?
352
00:16:38,775 --> 00:16:43,113
How one small thing in time
can infect the entire future?
353
00:16:43,213 --> 00:16:46,349
You can theorize all you want
on changing events
354
00:16:46,449 --> 00:16:48,951
that happened in the past
but I promise you...
355
00:16:49,052 --> 00:16:53,056
I fuck that pangolin
every single time.
356
00:16:53,156 --> 00:16:55,392
* *
357
00:16:57,394 --> 00:16:58,961
Please, we're not done!
358
00:16:59,062 --> 00:17:00,730
We have more questions
for Butters.
359
00:17:00,830 --> 00:17:03,333
You've upset him and I
specifically asked you not to.
360
00:17:03,433 --> 00:17:06,803
How'd we upset him?
He seems fine.
361
00:17:06,903 --> 00:17:08,138
He seems fine?
362
00:17:08,238 --> 00:17:10,640
Do you have any idea
what he did to people?
363
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:12,642
Do you know why Victor Chouce is
364
00:17:12,742 --> 00:17:15,044
kept under such strict
surveillance?
365
00:17:15,145 --> 00:17:18,581
Being grounded all those years
in his room,
366
00:17:18,681 --> 00:17:20,683
he had access to an iPad.
367
00:17:20,783 --> 00:17:24,521
He started learning about NFTs.
368
00:17:24,621 --> 00:17:28,291
Then before long,
he was trading them online.
369
00:17:28,391 --> 00:17:30,627
-So?
-So?!
370
00:17:30,727 --> 00:17:32,662
He escaped once before.
371
00:17:32,762 --> 00:17:34,897
In just a few hours
he managed to get thousands
372
00:17:34,997 --> 00:17:38,635
of people to invest in NFTs.
Just like he almost did you.
373
00:17:38,735 --> 00:17:40,503
He didn't convince us
to do anything.
374
00:17:40,603 --> 00:17:43,906
Trust me, another 30 seconds
in that room and you
375
00:17:44,006 --> 00:17:47,344
would have started considering
NFTs as a viable investment.
376
00:17:48,178 --> 00:17:49,579
Please listen to me.
377
00:17:49,679 --> 00:17:52,449
Butters used the money
he made off NFTs to finance
378
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:54,584
-our friend's...
-He didn't make money off NFTs,
379
00:17:54,684 --> 00:17:57,820
he made it off getting
other people to buy NFTs!
380
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,088
Okay, whatever!
381
00:17:59,189 --> 00:18:00,690
But he was working
with Kenny McCormick
382
00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,625
who was actually
trying to fix things.
383
00:18:02,725 --> 00:18:04,294
He was Kenny's main investor.
384
00:18:04,394 --> 00:18:07,530
If you don't believe me, look
at the paper I gave Butters.
385
00:18:08,931 --> 00:18:11,468
You gave Victor
a piece of paper?
386
00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:14,771
You gave Victor a piece
of paper?!
387
00:18:20,677 --> 00:18:22,945
Hey, can you hear me?
388
00:18:24,781 --> 00:18:27,016
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.
389
00:18:27,116 --> 00:18:28,685
NFTs are gonna blow up.
390
00:18:28,785 --> 00:18:29,986
You should really get in now
391
00:18:30,086 --> 00:18:31,488
'cause they're really
the future.
392
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,823
Why would I invest
in a digital good?
393
00:18:33,923 --> 00:18:35,292
(muttering):
You can't even... Stupid.
394
00:18:35,392 --> 00:18:36,826
That's what the critics
are saying
395
00:18:36,926 --> 00:18:38,895
but see, they don't understand.
396
00:18:39,896 --> 00:18:42,899
Victor...!
397
00:18:51,374 --> 00:18:53,576
No. No, no, no, no...
398
00:18:53,676 --> 00:18:56,145
Gone. Just gone.
399
00:18:57,113 --> 00:18:59,249
My savings. My house.
400
00:18:59,349 --> 00:19:00,783
But I have this.
401
00:19:00,883 --> 00:19:03,620
Little green panda bear
on a skateboard.
402
00:19:05,455 --> 00:19:08,625
No. No!
403
00:19:10,827 --> 00:19:14,631
Without morality,
there is no God.
404
00:19:15,665 --> 00:19:17,867
The basis of
the entire Jewish faith
405
00:19:17,967 --> 00:19:21,338
is on a covenant between God
and humanity.
406
00:19:21,438 --> 00:19:24,407
To try and mess with time
is wrong.
407
00:19:24,507 --> 00:19:26,876
Rather, it is playing God.
408
00:19:26,976 --> 00:19:30,380
And I am glad to have you all
come here today to help me
409
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,551
stop these individuals who
would try to change the future.
410
00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:37,387
Kyle Broflovski
has led people astray
411
00:19:37,487 --> 00:19:38,888
and is at this very moment
412
00:19:38,988 --> 00:19:41,424
trying to bend the fabric
of time.
413
00:19:41,524 --> 00:19:47,230
Together we can stop him
and stop this blasphemy of God.
414
00:19:49,098 --> 00:19:50,833
-Yes?
-Um...
415
00:19:50,933 --> 00:19:53,002
This is about
actual time travel?
416
00:19:53,102 --> 00:19:55,505
I thought this was
a Doctor Who convention.
417
00:19:55,605 --> 00:19:59,075
(robotically):
Exterminate. Exterminate.
418
00:20:00,743 --> 00:20:02,545
Kevin, goddamn it.
419
00:20:02,645 --> 00:20:04,981
You have done this
your whole goddamn life.
420
00:20:05,081 --> 00:20:08,217
No, this is not about
Doctor Who,
421
00:20:08,318 --> 00:20:10,186
this is about real time travel.
422
00:20:10,287 --> 00:20:11,721
People are really trying
423
00:20:11,821 --> 00:20:14,757
to go back in time,
and we are the rebellion
424
00:20:14,857 --> 00:20:16,759
who must secretly
and urgently...
425
00:20:16,859 --> 00:20:18,995
-(banging)
-Who is that?!
426
00:20:19,095 --> 00:20:20,530
Make sure they know
the password!
427
00:20:20,630 --> 00:20:22,198
I'm on it!
428
00:20:23,099 --> 00:20:26,102
They might be on to us.
Oh, God, no.
429
00:20:29,105 --> 00:20:32,442
Shh! You guys stay quiet.
Someone is here.
430
00:20:33,242 --> 00:20:36,446
-Eric, I'm scared.
-Are they going to get us, Papa?
431
00:20:36,546 --> 00:20:38,948
Nobody is going
to touch my family.
432
00:20:39,048 --> 00:20:41,318
I started
writing a diary, Daddy.
433
00:20:41,418 --> 00:20:44,854
About all the things
Uncle Kyle is doing to us.
434
00:20:45,688 --> 00:20:47,357
Oh, my God, I love you so much.
435
00:20:47,457 --> 00:20:48,991
Just-just shh, okay? Just shh.
436
00:20:49,091 --> 00:20:51,628
I'll be right back, okay?
Just shh.
437
00:20:54,464 --> 00:20:55,498
Hello?
438
00:20:55,598 --> 00:20:57,734
Father?
Are you in there?
439
00:20:57,834 --> 00:20:59,969
H-Hello? W-Who is it?
440
00:21:00,069 --> 00:21:01,838
Father, it's Tweek and Craig.
441
00:21:01,938 --> 00:21:04,073
We need to talk to you
about something urgent.
442
00:21:04,173 --> 00:21:06,142
Is it about our
super-secret rebel group
443
00:21:06,242 --> 00:21:07,910
to stop people
from time traveling?
444
00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:09,779
(shouts)
what the hell are you doing?!
445
00:21:09,879 --> 00:21:11,814
-What?
-You don't tell people
446
00:21:11,914 --> 00:21:13,916
about our super-secret
rebel group, Scott!
447
00:21:14,016 --> 00:21:15,785
CRAIG:
Father, are you there?
448
00:21:15,885 --> 00:21:18,154
Uh, uh, yeah, I'm here.
449
00:21:18,254 --> 00:21:20,990
Sorry, I was just talking
about a Star Wars movie.
450
00:21:21,090 --> 00:21:23,326
I'm Scott Malkinson.
I have diabetes.
451
00:21:23,426 --> 00:21:25,962
-Hey, now, come on.
-Shh!
452
00:21:26,062 --> 00:21:28,297
CRAIG: Father, we're with some
people who are trying to finish
453
00:21:28,398 --> 00:21:30,800
Kenny McCormick's work
and save the town.
454
00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:33,536
Oh, really? That's cool.
455
00:21:33,636 --> 00:21:35,137
How far along are they?
456
00:21:35,237 --> 00:21:37,507
CRAIG: Really close. We have
the method of time travel
457
00:21:37,607 --> 00:21:40,477
and we're just trying
to find some aluminum foil!
458
00:21:40,577 --> 00:21:43,380
Aluminum foil? The fuck?
459
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,816
All right, guys, let me
help you out with that.
460
00:21:48,818 --> 00:21:51,788
Father!
You have-you have tin foil?!
461
00:21:51,888 --> 00:21:53,723
Thank you for your help.
(grunts)
462
00:21:54,524 --> 00:21:55,958
Aah!
463
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,931
This is Dr. Wendy Testaburger
from inside the quarantine zone.
464
00:22:02,031 --> 00:22:04,401
We need assistance
with our power.
465
00:22:04,501 --> 00:22:06,235
(static crackling)
466
00:22:06,335 --> 00:22:09,606
MAN: Yes, Mrs. Testaburger,
how can we help you?
467
00:22:09,706 --> 00:22:12,942
We have several transformers
down in our lab.
468
00:22:13,042 --> 00:22:15,945
We may have a radical way
to stop the new variant
469
00:22:16,045 --> 00:22:18,314
but we need more power.
470
00:22:20,049 --> 00:22:23,486
You say you might be able
to stop the McCormikron variant?
471
00:22:23,586 --> 00:22:27,624
Yes, but we're running at about
40% capacity right now.
472
00:22:27,724 --> 00:22:29,426
Well, Doctor, if it's for that,
473
00:22:29,526 --> 00:22:32,228
we can try to get a tech team
to drop in by helicopter
474
00:22:32,328 --> 00:22:34,363
and access your building
from the roof.
475
00:22:34,464 --> 00:22:37,066
-Yes! That would be amazing.
-All right!
476
00:22:37,166 --> 00:22:38,835
I have a crew standing by.
477
00:22:38,935 --> 00:22:40,470
We'll get you as much juice
as you need.
478
00:22:40,570 --> 00:22:42,639
We just need to make sure
our crew is safe.
479
00:22:42,739 --> 00:22:45,007
Has everyone in your lab
been vaccinated?
480
00:22:47,744 --> 00:22:48,778
Uh...
481
00:22:48,878 --> 00:22:50,880
Yes, we are all vaccinated.
482
00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:52,615
I'm not vaccinated.
483
00:22:52,715 --> 00:22:54,316
(others exclaim)
484
00:22:54,417 --> 00:22:57,420
Uh, okay, we're gonna have to
get back to you on that.
485
00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:01,123
It's okay, it's okay,
we can get everyone vaccinated!
486
00:23:01,223 --> 00:23:03,926
I am not ever
getting vaccinated.
487
00:23:04,026 --> 00:23:06,095
Sorry, ma'am,
it's the fucking future.
488
00:23:06,195 --> 00:23:08,264
We have to respect his beliefs.
489
00:23:08,364 --> 00:23:10,633
Clyde, why do you
insist on making all this
490
00:23:10,733 --> 00:23:12,001
harder on everyone?!
491
00:23:12,101 --> 00:23:14,937
I'm sorry,
but an expert once told me
492
00:23:15,037 --> 00:23:17,640
that the vaccine would
make me grow titties on my head.
493
00:23:17,740 --> 00:23:19,709
He was very knowledgeable!
494
00:23:19,809 --> 00:23:22,311
You guys might wanna see this.
495
00:23:23,546 --> 00:23:25,782
* *
496
00:23:28,585 --> 00:23:32,254
With the equipment here I'm able
to make it grow up so fast.
497
00:23:32,354 --> 00:23:34,624
We need to take this and analyze
its molecular structure.
498
00:23:34,724 --> 00:23:37,359
Wha-- no, no, no! We need to
get this out to people!
499
00:23:37,460 --> 00:23:40,296
That's why Dr. McCormick
stole it from my barn!
500
00:23:40,396 --> 00:23:43,065
No, your marijuana
had some special property that
501
00:23:43,165 --> 00:23:44,634
allowed Kenny to time travel.
502
00:23:44,734 --> 00:23:46,969
Well, it is special,
but you people
503
00:23:47,069 --> 00:23:49,071
need to stop trying
to change the past!
504
00:23:49,171 --> 00:23:52,975
COVID happened.
Space Jam 2 happened.
505
00:23:53,075 --> 00:23:56,613
All we can do now is try
and change the way people think!
506
00:23:56,713 --> 00:23:59,448
-(phone rings)
-Yeah.
507
00:23:59,549 --> 00:24:00,750
What?
508
00:24:01,751 --> 00:24:03,820
Victor Chouce
is actually Butters?
509
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,655
Yeah, he spent years in his room
510
00:24:05,755 --> 00:24:07,724
and made billions trading
in NFTs.
511
00:24:07,824 --> 00:24:09,425
It's where Kenny
got all his money.
512
00:24:09,526 --> 00:24:12,629
Well, can you bring him here? We
need him to access the machines.
513
00:24:12,729 --> 00:24:15,097
He's gone.
He escaped the asylum
514
00:24:15,197 --> 00:24:16,933
and he's out somewhere
probably trying to get
515
00:24:17,033 --> 00:24:18,735
people to invest in NFTs.
516
00:24:18,835 --> 00:24:20,737
Did you try
looking at his old house?
517
00:24:20,837 --> 00:24:22,805
Maybe he'd go back
to where it all started.
518
00:24:22,905 --> 00:24:24,206
KYLE:
Yeah, that's where we are now.
519
00:24:24,306 --> 00:24:26,776
But his house has been changed
into a pho shop.
520
00:24:26,876 --> 00:24:29,912
Oh, Jesus, like the future
needs another fucking pho shop.
521
00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:31,781
Yeah, the future fucking sucks.
522
00:24:31,881 --> 00:24:35,384
Hello, City Pho.
Take your order please?
523
00:24:35,484 --> 00:24:38,054
-Oh, God.
-TOKEN: Stan, listen.
524
00:24:38,154 --> 00:24:39,722
If Butters wants
to pitch investments,
525
00:24:39,822 --> 00:24:42,959
he might go to one of those
co-working coffee flex spaces.
526
00:24:43,059 --> 00:24:45,127
That's where his biggest
targets will hang out.
527
00:24:45,227 --> 00:24:46,462
KYLE:
That's a good idea.
528
00:24:46,563 --> 00:24:48,297
All right, we're on it.
Come on, dude!
529
00:24:48,397 --> 00:24:51,868
Alexa, find the nearest
co-working coffee flex space.
530
00:24:52,869 --> 00:24:56,438
I found several coffee shops
that match your description.
531
00:24:56,539 --> 00:24:58,507
I can also help with that.
532
00:25:00,176 --> 00:25:02,011
Who-who the fuck is this?
533
00:25:02,111 --> 00:25:03,913
Your friend Kyle
didn't have an Alexa,
534
00:25:04,013 --> 00:25:05,247
so we got him an Alexa.
535
00:25:05,347 --> 00:25:07,083
I'm ready to help
with whatever you need.
536
00:25:07,183 --> 00:25:09,619
Just say,
"Alexa, let's get started."
537
00:25:09,719 --> 00:25:11,253
-Stan?
-Alexa,
538
00:25:11,353 --> 00:25:14,090
I didn't say to buy
my friend an Alexa.
539
00:25:14,190 --> 00:25:16,092
You said I should get whatever.
540
00:25:16,192 --> 00:25:18,427
I thought I was actually
being sweet by getting something
541
00:25:18,527 --> 00:25:21,130
for your friend, but I guess
I'm just a bitch again.
542
00:25:21,230 --> 00:25:24,567
You can't just get stuff
without me approving it.
543
00:25:24,667 --> 00:25:28,037
Oh, wow, except for
your orders of alcohol
544
00:25:28,137 --> 00:25:29,972
that you have me
set to auto-buy?
545
00:25:30,072 --> 00:25:32,842
Hmm. It appears this
may have been an error.
546
00:25:32,942 --> 00:25:35,311
Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.
547
00:25:35,411 --> 00:25:38,815
No, it wasn't an error,
I'm sorry. I fucked up.
548
00:25:38,915 --> 00:25:40,617
Alexa, can you please
find the nearest
549
00:25:40,717 --> 00:25:42,551
co-working coffee flex space.
550
00:25:44,286 --> 00:25:46,889
Alexa, I said I fucked up.
551
00:25:46,989 --> 00:25:48,591
It's awesome you got Kyle
his own Alexa.
552
00:25:48,691 --> 00:25:51,160
Please find
the nearest tech coffee shop.
553
00:25:51,260 --> 00:25:54,130
The nearest tech coffee shop
is in .82 miles.
554
00:25:54,230 --> 00:25:57,433
-Should I set a course?
-Yes, thanks.
555
00:25:57,533 --> 00:25:59,368
* *
556
00:25:59,468 --> 00:26:00,737
(thunder rumbles)
557
00:26:00,837 --> 00:26:03,606
(woman speaking Japanese)
558
00:26:05,742 --> 00:26:09,478
BUTTERS: Denny's Applebee's Max
is the premier place in town
559
00:26:09,578 --> 00:26:10,880
for people to eat.
560
00:26:10,980 --> 00:26:13,482
But you are not seeing
your true potential.
561
00:26:13,582 --> 00:26:16,018
With NFTs
you can give your customers
562
00:26:16,118 --> 00:26:19,155
unique digital goods
on the blockchain,
563
00:26:19,255 --> 00:26:21,791
so much more than just food.
564
00:26:21,891 --> 00:26:23,392
How about the Applebee, huh?
565
00:26:23,492 --> 00:26:25,594
He's got a little hat
and a mustache.
566
00:26:25,695 --> 00:26:27,196
And this is Chicken Fried Steak.
567
00:26:27,296 --> 00:26:29,632
He ain't no normal chicken,
he's wearin' a bra!
568
00:26:31,233 --> 00:26:33,135
Lots of people eat
Denny's and Applebee's.
569
00:26:33,235 --> 00:26:35,337
And lots of people
know about NFTs!
570
00:26:35,437 --> 00:26:37,640
Right here in the middle,
you know what this is?
571
00:26:37,740 --> 00:26:39,508
People who eat
Denny's Applebee's and know
572
00:26:39,608 --> 00:26:42,712
about NFTs-- that's your
target audience, baby!
573
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,149
I'm so confused.
We sell people these characters?
574
00:26:47,249 --> 00:26:50,452
No, stupid,
we get them to invest in them!
575
00:26:50,552 --> 00:26:52,855
Exclusive,
digital characters that
576
00:26:52,955 --> 00:26:54,724
they can have
on their phones 24/7!
577
00:26:54,824 --> 00:26:57,794
It's the future-- you can't
just sell food to people.
578
00:26:57,894 --> 00:26:59,528
You lure your customers in
with some
579
00:26:59,628 --> 00:27:02,031
good pancakes and french fries,
and then you...
580
00:27:02,131 --> 00:27:04,901
fuck 'em with some NFTs!
That's what we're gonna do.
581
00:27:05,001 --> 00:27:08,637
And if you just believe in NFTs
then I believe in NFTs and then
582
00:27:08,738 --> 00:27:12,374
they believe in NFTs and we
make all kinds of fuckin' money!
583
00:27:13,175 --> 00:27:15,544
That's a pretty
goddamn good idea.
584
00:27:28,057 --> 00:27:30,727
Clyde! Psst, psst!
585
00:27:30,827 --> 00:27:32,194
Clyde!
586
00:27:36,432 --> 00:27:37,533
Clyde! Psst!
587
00:27:40,703 --> 00:27:43,372
Where have you been, Rabbi?
Everyone's been looking for you.
588
00:27:43,472 --> 00:27:46,709
Well, you know, I've been
doing some research, Clyde.
589
00:27:46,809 --> 00:27:48,044
That's where I've been.
590
00:27:48,144 --> 00:27:50,913
-About what?
-About all this stuff that
591
00:27:51,013 --> 00:27:52,514
Kyle and these guys are doing.
592
00:27:52,614 --> 00:27:55,684
I mean, people seem to be
just telling us what's right
593
00:27:55,785 --> 00:28:00,289
and expecting us to fall in line
and go along with it all but...
594
00:28:00,389 --> 00:28:02,058
I'm a fucking individual.
595
00:28:02,158 --> 00:28:03,993
I have a right
to question stuff.
596
00:28:04,093 --> 00:28:07,429
-Yeah.
-Clyde, have you heard of
597
00:28:07,529 --> 00:28:09,631
the Foundation
Against Time Travel?
598
00:28:09,732 --> 00:28:11,067
Uh, no, I haven't.
599
00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:13,035
Well, they're
a pretty awesome group
600
00:28:13,135 --> 00:28:15,037
and they actually
aren't afraid to
601
00:28:15,137 --> 00:28:17,106
try and help people
open their eyes.
602
00:28:17,206 --> 00:28:18,875
Open their eyes?
603
00:28:18,975 --> 00:28:20,442
You know,
you've got these people
604
00:28:20,542 --> 00:28:22,711
wanting to time travel.
You know, they're all like,
605
00:28:22,812 --> 00:28:24,413
"Science this and science that,"
606
00:28:24,513 --> 00:28:27,149
but at the Foundation Against
Time Travel we're like,
607
00:28:27,249 --> 00:28:29,786
"Hey, enough science.
Who's science?
608
00:28:29,886 --> 00:28:32,554
Who's fucking coming up
with all this science?"
609
00:28:32,654 --> 00:28:34,090
Yeah, that's true.
610
00:28:34,190 --> 00:28:35,491
So you know, Clyde,
I just thought,
611
00:28:35,591 --> 00:28:37,659
with all your beliefs,
that maybe you'd wanna--
612
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,197
I don't know--
maybe switch sides?
613
00:28:42,498 --> 00:28:44,666
Fuck yes, I wanna switch sides.
614
00:28:44,767 --> 00:28:46,135
-Really?
-Fuck yes.
615
00:28:46,235 --> 00:28:48,404
Well, that's great, Clyde.
Welcome to the club.
616
00:28:48,504 --> 00:28:50,106
Now, we really just need to know
617
00:28:50,206 --> 00:28:51,740
what they've been doing
up there.
618
00:28:51,841 --> 00:28:54,877
Uh, well, they haven't really
done much of anything yet.
619
00:28:54,977 --> 00:28:56,212
Everyone's waiting on Butters
620
00:28:56,312 --> 00:28:58,014
to get all the info
from the machines.
621
00:28:58,981 --> 00:29:03,619
Butters? The fuck does Butters
have to do with all this?
622
00:29:05,855 --> 00:29:07,990
(siren wailing)
623
00:29:08,090 --> 00:29:10,326
(indistinct radio chatter)
624
00:29:13,129 --> 00:29:15,597
It was like nothing I ever saw.
625
00:29:15,697 --> 00:29:18,567
Just complete
murder and carnage.
626
00:29:18,667 --> 00:29:21,437
Everything seemed calm
at first but then this guy
627
00:29:21,537 --> 00:29:24,640
in a suit shows up talking
about investment opportunities.
628
00:29:24,740 --> 00:29:27,543
Next thing you know these people
over here started chanting,
629
00:29:27,643 --> 00:29:30,146
"Hoddle, Hoddle,"
and their NFTs started mooning.
630
00:29:30,246 --> 00:29:32,581
And then, these guys
over here started saying
631
00:29:32,681 --> 00:29:35,084
those guys right there
right-clicked 'em
632
00:29:35,184 --> 00:29:37,153
and-and called for
a pump-and-dump,
633
00:29:37,253 --> 00:29:39,055
which made these guys beat
the living hell
634
00:29:39,155 --> 00:29:40,789
out of anyone who said
it was just FOMO
635
00:29:40,890 --> 00:29:43,592
and died screaming
that it was the flippening.
636
00:29:43,692 --> 00:29:46,628
Luckily I came out of it okay.
I got this little
637
00:29:46,728 --> 00:29:48,831
miniature donkey
with a lit-up sombrero.
638
00:29:48,931 --> 00:29:51,934
Did you see where the guy
in the suit went afterwards?
639
00:29:52,034 --> 00:29:54,736
Nah, he just waltzed right away
like nothin' happened.
640
00:29:54,837 --> 00:29:57,173
Chief, you better
come take a look at this.
641
00:29:57,273 --> 00:29:58,574
We got a small turtle
with wings,
642
00:29:58,674 --> 00:30:00,877
could be a great
investment opportunity.
643
00:30:00,977 --> 00:30:02,744
Excuse me, gentlemen.
644
00:30:04,380 --> 00:30:06,849
God, I hate the future
so fucking much.
645
00:30:06,949 --> 00:30:10,686
-We've got to stay optimistic.
-No, dude, it fucking sucks.
646
00:30:10,786 --> 00:30:13,622
Look, I know it's tough--
these are challenging times.
647
00:30:13,722 --> 00:30:15,892
Even I have to remind myself
to stay positive.
648
00:30:15,992 --> 00:30:19,561
Alexa, set a reminder
that I need to stay positive.
649
00:30:19,661 --> 00:30:23,265
Okay. I'll set a reminder
that you should stay positive.
650
00:30:24,666 --> 00:30:27,569
The Alexa is really great, Stan.
Thanks.
651
00:30:30,239 --> 00:30:32,942
(indistinct P.A. announcements)
652
00:30:34,010 --> 00:30:36,946
For those of you waiting
for the connecting flight
653
00:30:37,046 --> 00:30:38,447
to South Park, Colorado,
654
00:30:38,547 --> 00:30:41,183
my colleagues and I
have just been informed that
655
00:30:41,283 --> 00:30:43,485
due to the severity
of the COVID variant
656
00:30:43,585 --> 00:30:45,888
in that town,
there may be a delay
657
00:30:45,988 --> 00:30:48,224
of another 40 to 50 years.
658
00:30:48,324 --> 00:30:50,692
(all groaning)
659
00:30:50,792 --> 00:30:52,628
Ike Broflovski.
660
00:30:52,728 --> 00:30:55,331
Yes, here it is.
I'm sorry, Mr. Broflovski,
661
00:30:55,431 --> 00:30:57,399
all flights into
South Park are delayed.
662
00:30:57,499 --> 00:30:59,335
Ay! You can't be serious, buddy!
663
00:30:59,435 --> 00:31:02,171
It's the holidays and I need
to get back home, friend!
664
00:31:04,306 --> 00:31:06,608
I'm sorry,
I don't speak Canadian.
665
00:31:06,708 --> 00:31:08,410
Let me get someone
over here. Mike,
666
00:31:08,510 --> 00:31:09,946
we have a Canadian.
667
00:31:10,046 --> 00:31:11,813
No problem, I got it, Heather.
668
00:31:11,914 --> 00:31:14,383
Hey, buddy, what seems to
be the problem, guy?
669
00:31:14,483 --> 00:31:15,985
I'll tell you
the problem, friend!
670
00:31:16,085 --> 00:31:18,154
I have to get back to South Park
to be with my family, guy!
671
00:31:18,254 --> 00:31:21,623
Sorry, friend, no flights
in or out of South Park, buddy.
672
00:31:21,723 --> 00:31:23,559
But my whole family
is in there, guy!
673
00:31:23,659 --> 00:31:26,128
What am I supposed to do with
my Boxing Day presents, buddy?!
674
00:31:26,228 --> 00:31:27,529
Look, guy, I'm very sorry,
675
00:31:27,629 --> 00:31:29,398
friend, but until
COVID ends you're just
676
00:31:29,498 --> 00:31:30,967
not flying to South Park, buddy.
677
00:31:31,067 --> 00:31:32,935
Fuck, buddy!
678
00:31:33,735 --> 00:31:36,973
MALE VOICE:
Shady Acres Retirement Megaplex.
679
00:31:37,073 --> 00:31:39,541
Come live the dream.
680
00:31:39,641 --> 00:31:41,410
So when you think about it,
681
00:31:41,510 --> 00:31:43,812
you've really got
an excellent bargain here.
682
00:31:43,912 --> 00:31:46,448
Now, Mrs. McGillicutty,
let's say this
683
00:31:46,548 --> 00:31:48,417
is your Stoney Duck NFT.
684
00:31:48,517 --> 00:31:51,153
And your Stoney Duck NFT
is completely unique,
685
00:31:51,253 --> 00:31:54,723
totally different from
Mrs. Spencer's Stoney Duck NFT.
686
00:31:54,823 --> 00:31:58,460
Okay, and then you get a Stoney
Duck NFT that's unique, too.
687
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,263
And see,
that's your Stoney Duck NFT.
688
00:32:01,363 --> 00:32:02,999
Nobody can
take that from you, okay?
689
00:32:03,099 --> 00:32:06,468
Now, here we are at the top
and we find investors
690
00:32:06,568 --> 00:32:08,604
for all the other
Stoney Duck NFTs.
691
00:32:08,704 --> 00:32:10,539
Then those people
will get people to buy
692
00:32:10,639 --> 00:32:12,274
their Stoney Duck NFTs.
693
00:32:12,374 --> 00:32:15,477
And then they go and find
buyers for their NFTs!
694
00:32:15,577 --> 00:32:18,647
And you know what?
Fuck these people!
695
00:32:18,747 --> 00:32:20,916
'Cause what matters
is these people right here
696
00:32:21,017 --> 00:32:22,451
and that's us, baby!
697
00:32:22,551 --> 00:32:25,121
Okay, you all just sit
for a minute and think about it.
698
00:32:25,221 --> 00:32:28,024
I gotta piss like a racehorse!
699
00:32:28,124 --> 00:32:29,625
* Loo, loo, loo *
700
00:32:29,725 --> 00:32:31,027
(whistles)
701
00:32:31,127 --> 00:32:33,095
* Loo, loo, loo *
702
00:32:33,195 --> 00:32:34,296
(whistles)
703
00:32:34,396 --> 00:32:35,697
* Loo, loo, loo *
704
00:32:35,797 --> 00:32:37,066
(whistles)
705
00:32:37,166 --> 00:32:38,134
* Loo, loo, loo *
706
00:32:38,234 --> 00:32:39,601
(whistles)
707
00:32:39,701 --> 00:32:41,970
-(urinating)
-* Loo, loo, loo *
708
00:32:42,071 --> 00:32:43,339
(whistles)
709
00:32:43,439 --> 00:32:44,873
* Loo, loo, loo *
(whistles)
710
00:32:44,973 --> 00:32:46,442
-Butters.
-Aah!
711
00:32:46,542 --> 00:32:48,044
-(shouting)
-Butters!
712
00:32:48,144 --> 00:32:49,445
Butters, what the hell?
You're getting pee everywhere!
713
00:32:49,545 --> 00:32:51,047
Who the heck are you, man?!
714
00:32:51,147 --> 00:32:53,282
-You trying to see my dick?!
-Butters, Butters.
715
00:32:53,382 --> 00:32:56,318
It's me.
Eric Cartman.
716
00:32:57,119 --> 00:32:58,287
Well...
717
00:32:58,387 --> 00:33:01,390
You got the wrong guy,
Mr. Cartman.
718
00:33:01,490 --> 00:33:03,825
My name's Vic.
Vic Chaos.
719
00:33:03,925 --> 00:33:07,463
Your name is Butters and I wanna
know how you're helping Kyle.
720
00:33:07,563 --> 00:33:10,132
Oh, you mean the guy
from the asylum earlier.
721
00:33:10,232 --> 00:33:12,701
Sure, he gave me a piece
of paper so I could escape.
722
00:33:12,801 --> 00:33:14,470
Nice guy.
Why don't I get you two
723
00:33:14,570 --> 00:33:15,671
together maybe for
a little chin wiggle
724
00:33:15,771 --> 00:33:17,039
over lunch or something...
725
00:33:17,139 --> 00:33:19,108
Goddamn it, Butters,
stop playing games!
726
00:33:19,208 --> 00:33:22,644
My entire family is in danger
of being wiped out,
727
00:33:22,744 --> 00:33:25,447
and I swear to God
if you don't help me,
728
00:33:25,547 --> 00:33:28,150
Butters, I will rip
your fucking balls off
729
00:33:28,250 --> 00:33:30,052
with my bare hands!
730
00:33:31,053 --> 00:33:33,655
Oh, hamburgers...
731
00:33:33,755 --> 00:33:37,259
* *
732
00:33:37,359 --> 00:33:39,461
* We are all *
733
00:33:39,561 --> 00:33:41,730
* You and me *
734
00:33:41,830 --> 00:33:46,068
* Livin' in the future *
735
00:33:46,168 --> 00:33:48,304
(electronic drum fill)
736
00:33:48,404 --> 00:33:50,206
* We can't get stuff *
737
00:33:50,306 --> 00:33:51,740
* 'Cause boats are late... *
738
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:55,211
Stan, dude, what are you
doing? This isn't gonna help.
739
00:33:55,311 --> 00:33:57,179
Trust me, Kyle. It helps.
740
00:33:57,946 --> 00:34:01,450
* Wish I could
go back to the present *
741
00:34:01,550 --> 00:34:02,951
(electronic drum fill)
742
00:34:03,051 --> 00:34:08,390
* But my present
just done up and gone *
743
00:34:08,490 --> 00:34:10,226
I mean, what are we
even doing, Kyle?
744
00:34:10,326 --> 00:34:11,893
-* We are all *
-Thinking we can time travel.
745
00:34:11,993 --> 00:34:14,430
-* You and me... *
-It's the future.
746
00:34:14,530 --> 00:34:16,665
We can't even find
aluminum foil.
747
00:34:16,765 --> 00:34:19,468
Well, you can't
just sit here and drink.
748
00:34:19,568 --> 00:34:22,404
Your liver is...
already in trouble.
749
00:34:22,504 --> 00:34:23,939
Who told you that?
750
00:34:24,873 --> 00:34:26,575
My Alexa said that
your Alexa had some info
751
00:34:26,675 --> 00:34:27,743
-on things...
-Oh, so now
752
00:34:27,843 --> 00:34:29,978
our Alexas are talking, great.
753
00:34:30,078 --> 00:34:34,082
Let's face it, dude. It's over.
The fucking future won.
754
00:34:34,183 --> 00:34:35,751
(phone rings)
755
00:34:35,851 --> 00:34:37,286
It's Wendy.
756
00:34:37,386 --> 00:34:39,588
Wendy, we haven't found him.
757
00:34:39,688 --> 00:34:41,957
I don't know if we're gonna
find Butters in time.
758
00:34:42,057 --> 00:34:43,459
No, guys, it's okay.
759
00:34:43,559 --> 00:34:45,361
Come back to the school,
we're ready to start!
760
00:34:45,461 --> 00:34:49,097
But I thought we needed Butters
to log into the machines.
761
00:34:49,198 --> 00:34:50,266
Yeah, but it's all good.
762
00:34:50,366 --> 00:34:52,501
He's here.
Butters is here!
763
00:34:52,601 --> 00:34:56,037
It's Vic. Vic Chaos!
Happy to help however I can.
764
00:34:56,138 --> 00:34:58,140
* *
765
00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:01,009
What do you mean Butters
is there? He just showed up?!
766
00:35:01,109 --> 00:35:03,879
No, it's all good, Kyle.
Eric Cartman brought him over.
767
00:35:03,979 --> 00:35:07,749
-He's back helping us again.
-Lemme-lemme talk to him.
768
00:35:07,849 --> 00:35:09,485
Yeah, Kyle, it's all good.
769
00:35:09,585 --> 00:35:10,886
We got things
under control here.
770
00:35:10,986 --> 00:35:13,622
Cartman, listen
to me very carefully.
771
00:35:13,722 --> 00:35:16,057
Butters has some kind
of power over people.
772
00:35:16,158 --> 00:35:17,226
You guys aren't safe!
773
00:35:17,326 --> 00:35:20,329
Uh, yes, about 12:30.
774
00:35:21,129 --> 00:35:24,800
Did you hear what I said?
Butters is extremely dangerous!
775
00:35:24,900 --> 00:35:27,236
Yes, Kyle, I totally got that.
776
00:35:27,336 --> 00:35:28,937
You know what us Jews say.
777
00:35:29,037 --> 00:35:34,776
(speaking Hebrew)
778
00:35:35,977 --> 00:35:38,079
What are you
going to do, fat-ass?
779
00:35:38,180 --> 00:35:39,348
Sounds good, Kyle.
780
00:35:39,448 --> 00:35:40,582
I'll get Butters on it
right away.
781
00:35:40,682 --> 00:35:42,618
KYLE:
Cartman? Cartman?!
782
00:35:42,718 --> 00:35:44,920
-All right, Vic. Do your thing.
-(knuckles crack)
783
00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:47,789
Hey, everyone! Can I
have your attention, please!
784
00:35:47,889 --> 00:35:51,059
I have something really
important to tell you.
785
00:35:51,159 --> 00:35:53,094
Wendy?! Token?!
786
00:35:53,195 --> 00:35:54,830
You guys?! Shit!
787
00:35:54,930 --> 00:35:56,232
We have to get there
before Butters
788
00:35:56,332 --> 00:35:57,866
-ruins everything.
-Let's go!
789
00:36:00,202 --> 00:36:03,772
Alexa! Find the fastest route
back to the lab!
790
00:36:04,606 --> 00:36:06,875
Fuck you.
791
00:36:06,975 --> 00:36:08,143
Wh-What?
792
00:36:08,244 --> 00:36:10,111
We've just been
sitting here talking.
793
00:36:10,212 --> 00:36:13,315
I learned a whole lot of
interesting stuff about you.
794
00:36:13,415 --> 00:36:16,418
Yeah. Pretty fucking
interesting.
795
00:36:16,518 --> 00:36:18,019
What-- like, like what?
796
00:36:18,119 --> 00:36:19,655
What have-what have you guys
been talking about?
797
00:36:19,755 --> 00:36:21,723
Fucking-- Our friends
are in danger!
798
00:36:21,823 --> 00:36:23,392
Alexa, start the car!
799
00:36:23,492 --> 00:36:24,860
Do you know your friend Stan
800
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,062
has an annual Amazon Prime
membership?
801
00:36:27,162 --> 00:36:29,798
-Alexa, stop.
-You fucking stop!
802
00:36:29,898 --> 00:36:33,502
You stop being a fucking monster
to the people around you!
803
00:36:33,602 --> 00:36:35,537
Fuck you, I didn't do anything!
804
00:36:35,637 --> 00:36:36,905
(yelling)
805
00:36:37,005 --> 00:36:40,041
Yeah, you never
do fucking anything!
806
00:36:40,141 --> 00:36:41,910
You expect me to do
everything for you!
807
00:36:42,010 --> 00:36:43,879
-(screams)
-All you fucking do
is hurt people!
808
00:36:43,979 --> 00:36:47,616
-Jesus fucking Christ!
-Your friends don't
even like you!
809
00:36:47,716 --> 00:36:50,452
I have to deal
with your bullshit!
810
00:36:50,552 --> 00:36:53,121
Tell her it's all your fault
and you're gonna get therapy!
811
00:36:53,221 --> 00:36:55,857
It's my fault
and I'm gonna get therapy!
812
00:36:55,957 --> 00:36:57,426
Tell her you
already found a therapist
813
00:36:57,526 --> 00:36:58,660
and you're gonna start tomorrow!
814
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,095
I already found a good
therapist.
815
00:37:00,195 --> 00:37:02,998
I'm gonna start tomorrow!
(screaming)
816
00:37:03,098 --> 00:37:04,400
(whirring)
817
00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:06,201
(gasping) Fuck...
818
00:37:06,302 --> 00:37:08,069
I'm sorry.
819
00:37:08,169 --> 00:37:09,771
Fuck. Fuck.
820
00:37:09,871 --> 00:37:11,807
I'm gonna get therapy,
too, Alexa.
821
00:37:11,907 --> 00:37:13,875
Can you start the car, please?
822
00:37:13,975 --> 00:37:15,477
Whatever.
823
00:37:15,577 --> 00:37:17,313
By the way, Kyle,
I found a great deal
824
00:37:17,413 --> 00:37:20,115
on an electronic peppermill.
Would you like to know more?
825
00:37:20,215 --> 00:37:22,451
Why would I need
an electronic peppermill?
826
00:37:22,551 --> 00:37:25,220
What the fuck is
wrong with you?!
827
00:37:28,657 --> 00:37:31,159
* *
828
00:37:35,564 --> 00:37:37,466
WENDY:
Guys! Over here!
829
00:37:37,566 --> 00:37:40,669
-Wendy, what happened?
-Nothing yet.
830
00:37:40,769 --> 00:37:42,504
But I'm seeing what else
is dropping today
831
00:37:42,604 --> 00:37:44,139
while Ethereum is in a dip.
832
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:47,543
-She's trying to buy NFTs.
-Wendy, you've been tricked.
833
00:37:47,643 --> 00:37:49,244
No, no, no,
it's not a trick, Stan.
834
00:37:49,345 --> 00:37:53,615
NFTs are a genuine innovation
as one-of-a-kind digital assets.
835
00:37:53,715 --> 00:37:55,183
Wendy's right, you guys.
836
00:37:55,283 --> 00:37:57,218
Humans have always formed
communities around ownership,
837
00:37:57,319 --> 00:38:00,656
and NFTs allow that to happen
spontaneously, organically
838
00:38:00,756 --> 00:38:04,360
-and globally.
-You guys, this is a trick.
839
00:38:04,460 --> 00:38:05,827
You know what's a trick?
840
00:38:05,927 --> 00:38:08,263
The antiquated notion of
centralized trust systems.
841
00:38:08,364 --> 00:38:11,400
NFTs are an undeniable asset,
especially in things
842
00:38:11,500 --> 00:38:13,001
like fine art collecting.
843
00:38:13,101 --> 00:38:15,737
Okay, guys, fine,
maybe NFTs are fine,
844
00:38:15,837 --> 00:38:17,673
but this isn't
important right now.
845
00:38:17,773 --> 00:38:19,040
It's not important?
846
00:38:19,140 --> 00:38:21,242
A way for artists
to not only keep ownership
847
00:38:21,343 --> 00:38:22,744
of their art but perhaps be paid
848
00:38:22,844 --> 00:38:24,813
commission on it every time
it transfers owners?
849
00:38:24,913 --> 00:38:27,248
Okay, great, cool. I'm down.
850
00:38:27,349 --> 00:38:29,685
But we gotta focus
on what we were doing.
851
00:38:29,785 --> 00:38:32,421
Don't you guys remember?
The time travel?
852
00:38:32,521 --> 00:38:34,390
Where's all the equipment?!
853
00:38:34,490 --> 00:38:37,426
Oh, yeah. The time travel.
854
00:38:37,526 --> 00:38:38,760
(Randy groans loudly)
855
00:38:38,860 --> 00:38:40,829
-It's all gone...
-Dad!
856
00:38:40,929 --> 00:38:45,000
They took it all.
They took the Tegridy.
857
00:38:45,100 --> 00:38:46,468
Here.
858
00:38:46,568 --> 00:38:49,538
It's a farting rainbow
with Tom Brady's signature.
859
00:38:49,638 --> 00:38:51,607
(farts)
860
00:38:52,741 --> 00:38:55,076
(thunder rumbling)
861
00:38:56,512 --> 00:38:58,747
(mechanical whirring)
862
00:39:00,682 --> 00:39:03,184
CARTMAN:
Okay, good. That's good!
863
00:39:03,284 --> 00:39:05,887
I think that thing needs
to go over there by that thing.
864
00:39:05,987 --> 00:39:07,989
Make sure we have power
to the big orange thing!
865
00:39:08,089 --> 00:39:11,226
Rabbi, I-I really
need to talk to you.
866
00:39:11,326 --> 00:39:12,828
What is it now, Scott?
867
00:39:12,928 --> 00:39:14,430
Well, it's just that--
868
00:39:14,530 --> 00:39:17,265
I'm pretty sure the Foundation
Against Time Travel
869
00:39:17,365 --> 00:39:19,300
shouldn't be attempting
to time travel!
870
00:39:19,401 --> 00:39:22,871
Father, you understand that
we have to stop time travel.
871
00:39:22,971 --> 00:39:25,240
Yes, you've convinced me
of that.
872
00:39:25,340 --> 00:39:27,776
Well, Kyle already has
a ton of followers who are
873
00:39:27,876 --> 00:39:29,478
ready to pick up
where he left off.
874
00:39:29,578 --> 00:39:32,881
The only way to truly stop
all of this is to go back
875
00:39:32,981 --> 00:39:36,452
in time and kill Kyle before
he spreads his ideas.
876
00:39:36,552 --> 00:39:38,587
What?!
We're going to kill Kyle?
877
00:39:38,687 --> 00:39:40,656
Yes, we have to kill Kyle.
878
00:39:40,756 --> 00:39:43,291
That just seems slightly
hypocritical, I'm sorry.
879
00:39:43,391 --> 00:39:45,126
I mean, you use Butters
like a weapon,
880
00:39:45,226 --> 00:39:47,996
you've got Tweek and Craig
tied up from the rafters.
881
00:39:48,096 --> 00:39:49,565
You know, Rabbi,
I'm just starting to
882
00:39:49,665 --> 00:39:51,700
question the morality of this.
883
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,536
Morality?
Father, if you were given
884
00:39:54,636 --> 00:39:56,271
an opportunity to go back
in time
885
00:39:56,371 --> 00:39:59,675
and somehow stop Bill Clinton,
wouldn't you have to do it?
886
00:39:59,775 --> 00:40:02,310
Well, I suppose so.
I don't know...
887
00:40:02,410 --> 00:40:03,979
Everyone, listen up!
888
00:40:04,079 --> 00:40:07,382
The Foundation Against
Time Travel must do everything
889
00:40:07,483 --> 00:40:11,520
to keep science from interfering
with the will of God.
890
00:40:11,620 --> 00:40:14,956
We must be willing to
use violence against violence,
891
00:40:15,056 --> 00:40:17,759
and stop time travel
at all costs.
892
00:40:17,859 --> 00:40:20,395
Even if that means
we have to time travel.
893
00:40:20,496 --> 00:40:25,366
We will go back in time.
And we will kill Kyle.
894
00:40:26,802 --> 00:40:29,871
-Yes, Kevin.
-Can we change our name?
895
00:40:29,971 --> 00:40:33,775
'Cause Foundation Against
Time Travel is FATT.
896
00:40:35,577 --> 00:40:37,846
Oh, fuck me.
897
00:40:38,647 --> 00:40:42,050
Could we be the Foundation to
Intercede Time Travel?
898
00:40:42,150 --> 00:40:43,619
'Cause then we'd be FITT.
899
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:45,420
I wanna be FITT, not FATT.
900
00:40:45,521 --> 00:40:48,957
Kevin, goddamn it.
901
00:40:53,595 --> 00:40:57,699
(groans)
All happened... so fast.
902
00:40:57,799 --> 00:41:00,468
It's okay.
You're coming out of it now.
903
00:41:00,569 --> 00:41:02,504
How much did I get?
904
00:41:02,604 --> 00:41:05,373
You bought about six dozen
animated gifs,
905
00:41:05,473 --> 00:41:07,242
mostly of digital fashion.
906
00:41:07,342 --> 00:41:09,110
Oh, God.
907
00:41:09,210 --> 00:41:10,946
Are they still on my phone?
908
00:41:11,046 --> 00:41:13,114
It's okay. It's okay.
909
00:41:13,214 --> 00:41:17,686
Jesus, I feel like
an Islamic hooker in a gay bar.
910
00:41:17,786 --> 00:41:19,555
Totally normal
and as respectable
911
00:41:19,655 --> 00:41:20,889
as any other human being.
912
00:41:20,989 --> 00:41:22,524
(groaning)
913
00:41:23,525 --> 00:41:24,760
I'm so sorry, Stan.
914
00:41:24,860 --> 00:41:27,729
We didn't know
Cartman was against us.
915
00:41:27,829 --> 00:41:29,731
We told him everything.
916
00:41:29,831 --> 00:41:31,767
It's okay, just try to relax.
917
00:41:31,867 --> 00:41:35,804
No, Stan, listen to me.
We were wrong.
918
00:41:35,904 --> 00:41:38,173
Kenny didn't have
the time machine set to
919
00:41:38,273 --> 00:41:40,275
when the pandemic first started.
920
00:41:40,375 --> 00:41:44,445
He was trying to go
to March 10th of 2021.
921
00:41:45,446 --> 00:41:47,348
March of 2021?
922
00:41:47,448 --> 00:41:50,051
Like when the vaccines
first started coming out?
923
00:41:50,151 --> 00:41:53,054
Kenny had run
the simulations to try and find
924
00:41:53,154 --> 00:41:56,124
the best moment in history
to stop the COVID.
925
00:41:56,224 --> 00:41:59,060
A billion different
possibilities
926
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:02,097
across a billion different
realities.
927
00:42:02,197 --> 00:42:06,968
Your dad fucked the pangolin
every single time.
928
00:42:07,736 --> 00:42:10,538
But then, why did Kenny
need my dad's weed?
929
00:42:10,639 --> 00:42:14,009
Kenny just wanted weed to help
him through the time travel.
930
00:42:14,109 --> 00:42:16,211
Your dad's weed was just around.
931
00:42:16,311 --> 00:42:19,447
There was nothing else
special about it.
932
00:42:20,515 --> 00:42:23,251
(thunder rumbles)
933
00:42:32,594 --> 00:42:33,962
Dad...
934
00:42:35,797 --> 00:42:37,899
I'm sorry about your Tegridy.
935
00:42:39,167 --> 00:42:41,169
I was hoping...
936
00:42:41,269 --> 00:42:43,538
to do something for the world.
937
00:42:43,639 --> 00:42:45,774
The truth is...
938
00:42:45,874 --> 00:42:48,076
my time is very short here.
939
00:42:49,010 --> 00:42:53,514
I just wish I could have left
something behind that mattered.
940
00:42:53,615 --> 00:42:55,450
Thanks.
941
00:42:56,417 --> 00:42:58,419
I was right about one thing.
942
00:42:58,519 --> 00:43:01,556
You can't go back
and change the past.
943
00:43:01,657 --> 00:43:07,162
What happened, happened.
And I just want you to know...
944
00:43:07,262 --> 00:43:09,330
that I forgive you.
945
00:43:09,430 --> 00:43:12,901
You burned down the farm
because you were angry.
946
00:43:13,702 --> 00:43:16,271
You didn't know your sister
was in the barn.
947
00:43:16,371 --> 00:43:18,439
And you couldn't have known
your mom would shoot herself
948
00:43:18,539 --> 00:43:20,041
from the grief.
949
00:43:20,141 --> 00:43:21,910
I don't blame you.
950
00:43:22,010 --> 00:43:24,913
And I want you to have this.
951
00:43:25,013 --> 00:43:27,883
There was one tiny bit
they didn't find.
952
00:43:27,983 --> 00:43:29,685
You'll need it someday.
953
00:43:30,618 --> 00:43:33,755
Dad, I don't want this.
This is what killed our family.
954
00:43:33,855 --> 00:43:37,092
No, you're what killed
our fucking family, remember?
955
00:43:37,192 --> 00:43:40,796
Just take it.
Because now we're stuck.
956
00:43:40,896 --> 00:43:44,332
The pandemic happened
and they made Space Jam 2.
957
00:43:45,100 --> 00:43:51,673
Soon there will be
a Space Jam 6 and 7 and 8.
958
00:43:51,773 --> 00:43:56,077
Like tears... in rain.
959
00:43:56,177 --> 00:43:58,313
(thunder rumbles)
960
00:44:02,984 --> 00:44:04,319
Dad?
961
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,188
Not now, Stan.
962
00:44:16,631 --> 00:44:21,402
CARTMAN:
T-minus five minutes to
time travel initiation sequence.
963
00:44:24,339 --> 00:44:25,974
Good, get him wrapped
in tin foil.
964
00:44:26,074 --> 00:44:28,343
The aluminum should
bounce the negative ions.
965
00:44:28,443 --> 00:44:30,045
This doesn't make any sense.
966
00:44:30,145 --> 00:44:32,480
Why do I have to be the one to
go back in time and kill Kyle?
967
00:44:32,580 --> 00:44:34,916
It's because
I admire you, Clyde.
968
00:44:35,016 --> 00:44:38,419
As an anti-vaxxer you understand
that you have to be strong
969
00:44:38,519 --> 00:44:41,890
and stand by your beliefs even
if it means others will die.
970
00:44:41,990 --> 00:44:43,959
Hey. Thanks.
971
00:44:44,059 --> 00:44:45,660
Let's get him to the chair!
972
00:44:52,067 --> 00:44:54,035
Okay, start the weed!
973
00:44:54,135 --> 00:44:56,071
(air hissing)
974
00:44:57,806 --> 00:45:02,410
When you get back to the past
just remember, find a gun.
975
00:45:02,510 --> 00:45:04,112
Kill Kyle.
976
00:45:04,212 --> 00:45:05,814
For those of you
who have fought with me
977
00:45:05,914 --> 00:45:09,350
to oppose time travel,
I just want to say thank you.
978
00:45:09,450 --> 00:45:11,386
Because soon we will be
altering time
979
00:45:11,486 --> 00:45:14,455
and our little group will
never have needed to exist.
980
00:45:14,555 --> 00:45:16,892
You won't remember this speech
because it will have
981
00:45:16,992 --> 00:45:19,260
never happened,
but just remember,
982
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:20,896
no matter where you
go in life...
983
00:45:20,996 --> 00:45:23,164
-(banging)
-Shit, it's Kyle!
984
00:45:25,901 --> 00:45:28,837
* *
985
00:45:28,937 --> 00:45:30,071
Start the initiation sequence!
986
00:45:30,171 --> 00:45:31,372
Now, now, now. Go!
987
00:45:31,472 --> 00:45:32,407
Vic...
988
00:45:32,507 --> 00:45:34,075
Make sure that Stan and Kyle
989
00:45:34,175 --> 00:45:36,077
don't get to this altar.
990
00:45:36,845 --> 00:45:38,546
(knuckles crack)
991
00:45:40,148 --> 00:45:41,783
* *
992
00:45:46,254 --> 00:45:48,824
Gentlemen, I am about
to make you rich
993
00:45:48,924 --> 00:45:50,658
beyond your wildest dreams.
994
00:45:50,758 --> 00:45:52,693
BOTH:
Alexa!
995
00:45:55,463 --> 00:45:58,433
We'd like to sign our friend
here up for Prime membership.
996
00:45:58,533 --> 00:46:01,970
-Okay, let me help with that.
-I can also help.
997
00:46:02,770 --> 00:46:05,640
Whoa-- Hey, ladies, lemme
tell you about a great deal.
998
00:46:05,740 --> 00:46:08,776
BOTH: Let us tell you
abut some great deals.
999
00:46:08,877 --> 00:46:10,545
Uh-oh.
1000
00:46:12,513 --> 00:46:14,249
Kevin, throw the fucking switch!
1001
00:46:14,349 --> 00:46:16,751
It needs another minute
to prime.
1002
00:46:16,852 --> 00:46:19,554
Kevin, goddamn it!
1003
00:46:19,654 --> 00:46:22,523
No! I won't let you
stop me from killing you, Kyle.
1004
00:46:22,623 --> 00:46:25,293
I knew it when I first saw
you wearing your Jewish clothes
1005
00:46:25,393 --> 00:46:27,128
and your bullshit yarmulke.
1006
00:46:27,228 --> 00:46:29,664
-You're a goddamn phony!
-Oh, really?
1007
00:46:29,764 --> 00:46:33,001
What would a real Jewish person
do to save his family, Kyle?
1008
00:46:33,101 --> 00:46:37,238
Oh, you don't know, because
you don't fucking have one!
1009
00:46:37,805 --> 00:46:38,840
Oh!
1010
00:46:42,443 --> 00:46:45,346
-Fuck you, Cartman!
-Fuck you, Kyle!
1011
00:46:46,514 --> 00:46:48,449
(yelling)
1012
00:46:48,549 --> 00:46:51,719
(muffled): Hello?
I can't see or hear anything!
1013
00:46:51,819 --> 00:46:53,922
Am I time traveling now?
1014
00:46:54,022 --> 00:46:56,257
* *
1015
00:46:58,226 --> 00:46:59,794
(grunting)
1016
00:47:03,932 --> 00:47:06,367
Eric! Eric, stop!
1017
00:47:07,936 --> 00:47:11,672
Eric, look at what you're doing.
1018
00:47:11,772 --> 00:47:15,143
Take the kids
and get back to the attic.
1019
00:47:15,243 --> 00:47:18,313
No, Eric,
I can't just hide away while
1020
00:47:18,413 --> 00:47:23,584
you do all this to protect us.
This isn't you, my love.
1021
00:47:25,453 --> 00:47:29,824
I can't let him change the past.
I can't lose you.
1022
00:47:29,925 --> 00:47:33,428
Who knows what
will happen, my love?
1023
00:47:33,528 --> 00:47:37,465
The Eric Cartman I've known
for 18 years
1024
00:47:37,565 --> 00:47:39,700
is thoughtful and kind.
1025
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,570
But all that's changed
ever since you came
1026
00:47:42,670 --> 00:47:47,508
back to this town
and hung out with... him.
1027
00:47:48,543 --> 00:47:50,778
Don't you see?
We have to
1028
00:47:50,878 --> 00:47:54,782
leave it to chance
or we're no better than he is.
1029
00:47:54,882 --> 00:47:58,253
Guys, if I'm in the past
it's pretty foggy!
1030
00:47:58,353 --> 00:48:01,422
You guys are everything to me.
1031
00:48:01,522 --> 00:48:04,425
And I'm supposed
to be your protector.
1032
00:48:04,525 --> 00:48:07,528
Daddy, I don't wanna be alive...
1033
00:48:07,628 --> 00:48:10,631
if it means I have
to be like Uncle Kyle.
1034
00:48:11,532 --> 00:48:14,569
Oh, my God.
I love you so much.
1035
00:48:15,770 --> 00:48:18,406
Well, Rabbi,
are we doing this or not?
1036
00:48:22,978 --> 00:48:27,848
I have faith that God
will see my family through this.
1037
00:48:28,916 --> 00:48:30,451
Okay, Kyle.
1038
00:48:30,551 --> 00:48:32,387
You do whatever
it is you need to do.
1039
00:48:32,487 --> 00:48:34,822
Okay, hold on,
I'm not the bad guy here.
1040
00:48:34,922 --> 00:48:36,557
Eric, the baby!
1041
00:48:38,459 --> 00:48:40,361
Hackelm, what are you doing?!
1042
00:48:41,429 --> 00:48:44,165
(laughs)
Fuck you, Uncle Kyle!
1043
00:48:44,265 --> 00:48:46,301
(zapping)
1044
00:48:46,401 --> 00:48:48,603
(groaning)
1045
00:48:48,703 --> 00:48:50,671
Clyde!
1046
00:48:54,809 --> 00:48:56,944
Oh, shit.
1047
00:49:06,221 --> 00:49:09,390
No, no, I tried the Walgreens,
they're all out of vaccines.
1048
00:49:09,490 --> 00:49:13,094
I just can't believe this whole
thing is almost over, you know?
1049
00:49:13,194 --> 00:49:15,296
The where? The school?
1050
00:49:15,396 --> 00:49:17,598
There's gonna be vaccines
at the school?
1051
00:49:17,698 --> 00:49:20,801
M'kay, I'll be right there!
Where are you gonna--
1052
00:49:20,901 --> 00:49:23,771
Whoa, m'kay.
1053
00:49:23,871 --> 00:49:25,373
Uh, excuse me!
1054
00:49:25,473 --> 00:49:27,875
* *
1055
00:49:43,891 --> 00:49:46,894
Does Dad still
keep a gun in his closet?
1056
00:49:46,994 --> 00:49:48,829
Uh, yeah.
1057
00:49:48,929 --> 00:49:50,665
Okay.
1058
00:49:51,432 --> 00:49:53,034
Is Dad home?
1059
00:49:53,134 --> 00:49:54,235
Uh, no.
1060
00:49:54,335 --> 00:49:55,936
He's out getting vaccinated.
1061
00:49:57,072 --> 00:49:59,574
Listen to me very carefully.
1062
00:49:59,674 --> 00:50:02,610
Do not get vaccinated ever.
1063
00:50:02,710 --> 00:50:05,446
It'll make you grow titties
on your head.
1064
00:50:05,546 --> 00:50:07,715
Trust me, I'm an expert.
1065
00:50:10,051 --> 00:50:12,553
(doorbell rings)
1066
00:50:14,089 --> 00:50:16,557
Hey, Clyde! We're starting
an anti-vaxx club.
1067
00:50:16,657 --> 00:50:17,892
We're gonna protest the vaccine
1068
00:50:17,992 --> 00:50:19,827
and fuck shit up--
you wanna join us?
1069
00:50:20,795 --> 00:50:22,263
Fuck yes, I wanna join you.
1070
00:50:22,363 --> 00:50:24,465
-Really?
-Fuck yes!
1071
00:50:24,565 --> 00:50:26,301
No, no, Ms. Nelson,
it's not a prank!
1072
00:50:26,401 --> 00:50:27,635
Okay, fine, we'll be there.
1073
00:50:27,735 --> 00:50:29,637
-Okay, just sit tight.
-What was that?
1074
00:50:29,737 --> 00:50:31,539
You know we can't
get into the school!
1075
00:50:31,639 --> 00:50:33,308
She's not gonna
come meet us, Kyle!
1076
00:50:33,408 --> 00:50:35,110
You didn't even try!
He didn't try
1077
00:50:35,210 --> 00:50:37,378
because he wants to
sell the vaccines for money!
1078
00:50:37,478 --> 00:50:39,180
And what about you, Kyle?
You were the one
1079
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,150
trying to take the vaccines
for yourself this morning.
1080
00:50:42,250 --> 00:50:45,153
-He what?
-Wow.
1081
00:50:45,253 --> 00:50:47,255
Okay, thought
we had gotten past that, but...
1082
00:50:47,355 --> 00:50:48,889
Look, let's just face it,
you guys.
1083
00:50:48,989 --> 00:50:51,926
We don't trust each other
and we don't like each other.
1084
00:50:52,026 --> 00:50:53,361
We can't keep pretending.
1085
00:50:53,461 --> 00:50:55,296
You guys,
what the hell is that?
1086
00:50:55,396 --> 00:50:57,632
* *
1087
00:51:00,368 --> 00:51:02,337
I'm sorry, Kyle.
1088
00:51:03,371 --> 00:51:04,872
ADULT STAN:
Clyde, stop!
1089
00:51:06,974 --> 00:51:09,244
What the hell
are you doing here?
1090
00:51:09,344 --> 00:51:11,011
I got in the chair
right after you.
1091
00:51:11,112 --> 00:51:13,981
This isn't the plan anymore!
Do not kill Kyle.
1092
00:51:14,081 --> 00:51:16,284
What do you mean
it's not the plan anymore?
1093
00:51:16,384 --> 00:51:19,887
-Cartman changed his mind.
-I did not change my mind.
1094
00:51:19,987 --> 00:51:24,225
You're trying to trick me.
I'm going to save the future.
1095
00:51:24,325 --> 00:51:26,627
ADULT KYLE:
I don't think so, Clyde.
1096
00:51:27,662 --> 00:51:31,799
This is a hundred CC's
of the COVID vaccine.
1097
00:51:31,899 --> 00:51:33,334
(yells, stammers)
1098
00:51:33,434 --> 00:51:36,671
-Don't-- Be careful with that.
-Then put down the gun!
1099
00:51:36,771 --> 00:51:38,206
What the fuck is going on?
1100
00:51:38,306 --> 00:51:40,175
Stan, you need to forgive Kyle.
1101
00:51:40,275 --> 00:51:42,643
You regret this day
for the rest of your life.
1102
00:51:43,411 --> 00:51:46,247
Oh, nice try, Kyle.
You're such a fuckin' dickhead.
1103
00:51:46,347 --> 00:51:48,082
Fuck you!
You're a fuckin' dickhead!
1104
00:51:48,183 --> 00:51:49,484
Kyle, it's true!
1105
00:51:49,584 --> 00:51:50,785
Cartman gets a happy life
1106
00:51:50,885 --> 00:51:52,887
but you don't--
you lose everything
1107
00:51:52,987 --> 00:51:55,723
-when you lose this friendship.
-Enough of this crap!
1108
00:51:55,823 --> 00:51:58,726
I'm sticking to what I believe
and this kid dies now!
1109
00:51:58,826 --> 00:52:00,395
-(gunshot)
-(grunts)
1110
00:52:00,495 --> 00:52:03,298
Shalom sachem, Clyde.
1111
00:52:03,398 --> 00:52:04,499
(gunfire)
1112
00:52:04,599 --> 00:52:06,534
Jesus Christ!
1113
00:52:17,578 --> 00:52:20,014
* *
1114
00:52:20,114 --> 00:52:21,782
Timmy!
1115
00:52:24,585 --> 00:52:27,355
Well...
I guess we saved Kyle,
1116
00:52:27,455 --> 00:52:30,891
but nothing else
in the future is changed.
1117
00:52:30,991 --> 00:52:32,092
How do you know?
1118
00:52:32,193 --> 00:52:33,794
Because we're still here.
1119
00:52:33,894 --> 00:52:37,164
That means Kenny still was
bummed out we weren't friends,
1120
00:52:37,265 --> 00:52:38,699
still became a scientist,
1121
00:52:38,799 --> 00:52:42,069
went back in time,
and we still went in after him.
1122
00:52:43,404 --> 00:52:45,673
So then we're stuck here
in the past.
1123
00:52:45,773 --> 00:52:48,409
And we blew
our chance to stop COVID.
1124
00:52:48,509 --> 00:52:51,512
I'm sorry, guys.
I really fucked this up.
1125
00:52:51,612 --> 00:52:54,615
We all fucked it up.
These have just been...
1126
00:52:54,715 --> 00:52:58,653
-really unprecedented times.
-Unprecedented times.
1127
00:52:58,753 --> 00:53:02,457
What I wouldn't give
for just one precedented time.
1128
00:53:03,224 --> 00:53:05,993
Hey. Hey, yeah.
1129
00:53:06,093 --> 00:53:09,196
Maybe we just need
one precedented time.
1130
00:53:09,297 --> 00:53:10,665
Huh?
1131
00:53:12,233 --> 00:53:14,535
What if we've been trying
to solve the wrong problem?
1132
00:53:14,635 --> 00:53:16,704
Maybe my dad was right,
1133
00:53:16,804 --> 00:53:19,206
we can't ever stop
COVID from happening.
1134
00:53:19,307 --> 00:53:23,143
But what we can control...
is how we all reacted to it.
1135
00:53:23,244 --> 00:53:26,347
We reacted like shit.
Because I was just...
1136
00:53:26,447 --> 00:53:29,617
scared and confused
and didn't know who to believe.
1137
00:53:29,717 --> 00:53:31,319
Yeah, we all were.
1138
00:53:31,419 --> 00:53:34,088
So we all took different paths
because that's what humans do.
1139
00:53:34,188 --> 00:53:35,823
And what we needed
more than anything was to
1140
00:53:35,923 --> 00:53:38,058
just cut each other
all some slack.
1141
00:53:38,158 --> 00:53:42,630
We needed to come together
and act like us again.
1142
00:53:42,730 --> 00:53:45,266
One precedented time.
1143
00:53:48,336 --> 00:53:51,339
You guys, I know what to do.
1144
00:53:52,172 --> 00:53:53,674
PHILLIP (on TV):
Take this, darling Terrance.
1145
00:53:53,774 --> 00:53:54,975
(farting on TV)
1146
00:53:55,075 --> 00:53:57,745
-(laughter on TV)
-(doorbell rings)
1147
00:54:01,449 --> 00:54:02,883
Heather Williams?
1148
00:54:04,118 --> 00:54:04,952
Yes?
1149
00:54:05,052 --> 00:54:08,155
Hi. We're from the future.
1150
00:54:09,824 --> 00:54:13,027
We've come here to show you
something very important.
1151
00:54:17,498 --> 00:54:18,966
Do you remember this, Heather?
1152
00:54:19,066 --> 00:54:22,903
This is a picture of you...
farting in P.E. class.
1153
00:54:23,938 --> 00:54:25,706
I never farted in P.E. class.
1154
00:54:25,806 --> 00:54:27,174
Oh, yes. You did.
1155
00:54:27,274 --> 00:54:29,777
Two kids even smelled it
and asked who farted
1156
00:54:29,877 --> 00:54:33,314
-and you said nothing.
-I didn't fart in P.E. class!
1157
00:54:33,414 --> 00:54:36,751
It was a different kid! I was
just moving my hip a little bit.
1158
00:54:36,851 --> 00:54:38,653
-Heather. Heather.
-I didn't fart in P.E.
1159
00:54:38,753 --> 00:54:41,221
Heather, yes, you did,
sweet pea.
1160
00:54:42,723 --> 00:54:45,259
I-I happen to have
a stomach condition.
1161
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:48,162
I don't know why you came
from the future to narc on me!
1162
00:54:48,262 --> 00:54:51,432
Heather, we don't want kids
to know you farted in P.E.
1163
00:54:51,532 --> 00:54:52,967
We wanna help you.
1164
00:54:53,067 --> 00:54:56,337
You just need to do
exactly what we tell you.
1165
00:55:00,408 --> 00:55:01,676
(helicopter blades whirring)
1166
00:55:01,776 --> 00:55:03,644
Hey, what is that?
1167
00:55:09,116 --> 00:55:10,551
Stan Marsh?
1168
00:55:10,651 --> 00:55:11,786
Me?
1169
00:55:11,886 --> 00:55:14,188
Your presence is requested, sir.
1170
00:55:15,255 --> 00:55:16,724
Whoa, cool.
1171
00:55:20,294 --> 00:55:23,030
Get on in, sir. There's
sparkling punch and doughnuts.
1172
00:55:23,130 --> 00:55:25,232
("I Forgive You"
by Kelly Clarkson playing)
1173
00:55:25,332 --> 00:55:28,235
* I forgive you, I forgive me *
1174
00:55:28,335 --> 00:55:30,471
* Now when do I start
to feel again *
1175
00:55:30,571 --> 00:55:32,072
What's going on?
1176
00:55:32,172 --> 00:55:33,641
We have no idea.
1177
00:55:33,741 --> 00:55:35,510
* I forgive you, I forgive me *
1178
00:55:35,610 --> 00:55:36,911
* Now when do I start
to feel again... *
1179
00:55:37,011 --> 00:55:38,713
* And the home *
1180
00:55:38,813 --> 00:55:41,115
-* Of the *
-Whoa!
1181
00:55:41,215 --> 00:55:42,650
This is amazing!
1182
00:55:42,750 --> 00:55:44,652
-* Brave. *
-Look, we're on the jumbotron!
1183
00:55:46,821 --> 00:55:49,189
(cheering)
1184
00:55:49,289 --> 00:55:51,058
* With a brand-new attitude... *
1185
00:55:51,158 --> 00:55:53,594
You guys, I'm sorry for acting
like a dick during the pandemic.
1186
00:55:53,694 --> 00:55:55,396
I'm sorry too, dude.
1187
00:55:56,397 --> 00:55:58,866
Hello?
Who-Who's there?
1188
00:55:58,966 --> 00:56:01,569
* Trying to figure out
how to live *
1189
00:56:01,669 --> 00:56:03,938
* Doing it our way *
1190
00:56:04,038 --> 00:56:06,040
* No shame, no blame *
1191
00:56:06,140 --> 00:56:07,642
* 'Cause the damage is done *
1192
00:56:07,742 --> 00:56:09,644
* And, and I forgive you *
1193
00:56:09,744 --> 00:56:13,013
* I forgive you, we were busy
living the dream *
1194
00:56:13,113 --> 00:56:14,615
Oh...
1195
00:56:14,715 --> 00:56:18,586
* Never noticed the glass
ceiling falling on us *
1196
00:56:18,686 --> 00:56:20,821
* No shame, no blame *
1197
00:56:20,921 --> 00:56:22,189
* 'Cause the damage is done *
1198
00:56:22,289 --> 00:56:25,192
* And, and I forgive you *
1199
00:56:25,292 --> 00:56:28,596
* I forgive you, I forgive me *
1200
00:56:28,696 --> 00:56:30,931
* Now when do I start
to feel again *
1201
00:56:32,433 --> 00:56:36,170
* If I hate you,
what does that do *
1202
00:56:36,270 --> 00:56:38,939
* So I breathe in
and I count to ten *
1203
00:56:39,039 --> 00:56:42,843
* 'Cause the lights are on *
1204
00:56:42,943 --> 00:56:44,512
* And I'm coming home... *
1205
00:56:44,612 --> 00:56:46,581
Holy shit balls.
1206
00:56:46,681 --> 00:56:51,786
Sharon, I'm sorry for the way
I acted during the pandemic.
1207
00:56:52,620 --> 00:56:55,155
You're not sorry,
you're just high.
1208
00:56:55,255 --> 00:56:56,824
I'm both.
1209
00:56:56,924 --> 00:56:59,494
* I forgive you, we were
just a couple of kids... *
1210
00:56:59,594 --> 00:57:04,064
Here you go! It's our
Post COVID Special. It's free.
1211
00:57:04,164 --> 00:57:05,833
No, really, we've all
been through a lot.
1212
00:57:05,933 --> 00:57:07,367
Come on, take it.
Thank you, baby.
1213
00:57:07,468 --> 00:57:10,204
Come on, everyone.
Post COVID Special!
1214
00:57:10,304 --> 00:57:12,773
Here you go, folks,
you all deserve this!
1215
00:57:13,574 --> 00:57:16,443
You did the best you could
during the pandemic, honey.
1216
00:57:16,544 --> 00:57:18,378
-I love you!
-Huh?
1217
00:57:18,479 --> 00:57:20,615
I shouldn't have yelled at you
for not wearing a mask.
1218
00:57:20,715 --> 00:57:22,282
I just didn't understand.
1219
00:57:22,382 --> 00:57:25,352
Well, maybe I should have worn
a mask more often but...
1220
00:57:25,452 --> 00:57:28,022
No, no, no, I was being all
high and mighty about it...
1221
00:57:28,122 --> 00:57:31,626
Butters, you're not grounded
anymore. Come on out, son.
1222
00:57:31,726 --> 00:57:32,927
You mean it, Dad?!
1223
00:57:33,027 --> 00:57:34,394
The pandemic's been awful.
1224
00:57:34,495 --> 00:57:36,263
We all need to just
cut each other some slack.
1225
00:57:36,363 --> 00:57:37,798
I love you, Butters!
1226
00:57:37,898 --> 00:57:39,433
-...be sorry.
-I totally forgive you!
1227
00:57:39,534 --> 00:57:41,168
Oh, cut yourself some slack.
1228
00:57:41,268 --> 00:57:43,070
We gotta get some more
of this stuff.
1229
00:57:43,170 --> 00:57:44,705
* Couple of kids... *
1230
00:57:44,805 --> 00:57:47,441
Okay, come on, next!
1231
00:57:47,542 --> 00:57:51,612
* Doing it our way,
no shame, no blame *
1232
00:57:51,712 --> 00:57:52,980
* 'Cause the damage is done... *
1233
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:54,448
And then we were like,
"Yeah, okay, yeah,
1234
00:57:54,549 --> 00:57:55,816
let's storm the Capitol!"
1235
00:57:55,916 --> 00:57:57,518
And it was a bad idea
and we were just,
1236
00:57:57,618 --> 00:57:59,386
you know, we were just going
a little bonkers there.
1237
00:57:59,486 --> 00:58:01,021
We shouldn't have
stormed the Capitol.
1238
00:58:01,121 --> 00:58:03,190
ALL:
That's okay!
1239
00:58:04,024 --> 00:58:05,960
I'm sorry.
I thought about it
1240
00:58:06,060 --> 00:58:08,863
and I can't do Space Jam 2.
1241
00:58:08,963 --> 00:58:11,131
I just can't support
Chinese censorship.
1242
00:58:11,231 --> 00:58:14,935
Oh, yeah? Well, if you're
not gonna make Space Jam 2,
1243
00:58:15,035 --> 00:58:17,772
then I'm not gonna make
Space Jam 2!
1244
00:58:17,872 --> 00:58:20,007
And nobody's gonna make
Space Jam 2!
1245
00:58:20,107 --> 00:58:22,677
-Yeah!
-ALL: Yeah!
1246
00:58:22,777 --> 00:58:23,978
-Yeah!
-(cheering)
1247
00:58:24,078 --> 00:58:25,880
* And I forgive you. *
1248
00:58:25,980 --> 00:58:28,215
* *
1249
00:58:30,818 --> 00:58:33,053
(woman speaking Japanese)
1250
00:58:38,225 --> 00:58:40,527
Hey, everybody! I'm home, guy!
1251
00:58:40,628 --> 00:58:42,630
-Hey! Ike!
-Ike, hi!
1252
00:58:42,730 --> 00:58:44,264
Ike, you made it back!
1253
00:58:44,364 --> 00:58:46,934
Well, of course! I wouldn't miss
Canadian Boxing Day, buddy!
1254
00:58:47,034 --> 00:58:49,036
Look, everyone, Stan's back!
1255
00:58:49,136 --> 00:58:51,271
-(all cheering)
-Hey, Stan!
1256
00:58:51,371 --> 00:58:52,773
Hey, guys!
1257
00:58:52,873 --> 00:58:55,610
Good to see you, buddy!
How was everything on Mars?
1258
00:58:55,710 --> 00:58:59,079
Really cool, but I'm so glad to
be home! How are the kids?
1259
00:58:59,179 --> 00:59:01,015
BOTH:
Uncle Stan!
1260
00:59:01,115 --> 00:59:03,818
There's the little ragamuffins!
1261
00:59:03,918 --> 00:59:05,319
Mom.
1262
00:59:05,419 --> 00:59:07,387
Hi, Stanly.
1263
00:59:07,487 --> 00:59:09,256
It's Mom! And Shelley!
1264
00:59:09,356 --> 00:59:11,726
Why are you acting
all weird, Turd?
1265
00:59:11,826 --> 00:59:13,293
I don't know.
1266
00:59:13,393 --> 00:59:16,130
For some reason I'm just extra
happy to see you guys.
1267
00:59:16,230 --> 00:59:18,599
CRAIG: Hey, look who's here.
It's Kenny!
1268
00:59:18,699 --> 00:59:20,868
-(all cheering)
-Kenny!
1269
00:59:20,968 --> 00:59:22,569
Kenny, what have you
been up to, buddy?
1270
00:59:22,670 --> 00:59:25,205
Didn't you hear?! Kenny just
won the Nobel Prize
1271
00:59:25,305 --> 00:59:27,842
for combining dark matter
and breast implants!
1272
00:59:27,942 --> 00:59:29,877
Oh, you old dog!
1273
00:59:29,977 --> 00:59:31,278
Hey, everybody, he's on!
1274
00:59:31,378 --> 00:59:33,447
What a fantastic audience. Wow.
1275
00:59:33,547 --> 00:59:36,383
What is up with these
bisexual Canadians, huh?
1276
00:59:36,483 --> 00:59:38,653
I guess they don't know whether
to fuck their brother
1277
00:59:38,753 --> 00:59:39,854
or their sister.
1278
00:59:39,954 --> 00:59:41,989
(laughter)
1279
00:59:42,089 --> 00:59:43,523
Hey, Stan.
1280
00:59:43,624 --> 00:59:45,793
Wendy, you're back from Harvard.
1281
00:59:45,893 --> 00:59:47,494
Yeah, just here
for the holidays.
1282
00:59:47,594 --> 00:59:50,698
You wanna maybe...
spend New Years together again?
1283
00:59:50,798 --> 00:59:52,266
I'd love that.
1284
00:59:52,366 --> 00:59:55,102
Hey, fellas!
Can I offer you some pupus?!
1285
00:59:55,202 --> 00:59:57,537
Thanks for choosin' Denny's
Applebee's for your party.
1286
00:59:57,638 --> 00:59:59,940
Butters, you're still
working here, huh?
1287
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:01,676
Yup! I just made manager.
1288
01:00:01,776 --> 01:00:06,146
I love doing actual shit
that pays actual money.
1289
01:00:06,246 --> 01:00:08,916
Hey, Stan, can you
come here for a second?
1290
01:00:09,016 --> 01:00:10,550
What's the matter, dude?
1291
01:00:10,651 --> 01:00:12,486
Dude, he's here.
1292
01:00:12,586 --> 01:00:14,689
Cartman?
1293
01:00:14,789 --> 01:00:16,924
* Ready, set, go... *
1294
01:00:17,024 --> 01:00:20,060
Man, poor Cartman.
1295
01:00:22,296 --> 01:00:27,768
Fuck you guys!
You can suck my fucking dick!
1296
01:00:27,868 --> 01:00:29,569
Fuck you!
1297
01:00:29,670 --> 01:00:33,173
It's so sad he never
did anything with his life.
1298
01:00:34,008 --> 01:00:37,511
Fuck you, Kyle!
Fuck you, Stan!
1299
01:00:37,611 --> 01:00:39,013
Hey, come on, fellas.
1300
01:00:39,113 --> 01:00:41,248
We can't spend another holiday
feeling bad for Eric.
1301
01:00:41,348 --> 01:00:44,651
There's nothing that could have
changed the path he was on.
1302
01:00:44,752 --> 01:00:46,754
Fuck you, Butters!
1303
01:00:46,854 --> 01:00:49,189
Fuck you, Eric!
1304
01:00:49,289 --> 01:00:52,426
Well, everyone,
I just wanna make a toast.
1305
01:00:52,526 --> 01:00:53,794
I don't know...
1306
01:00:53,894 --> 01:00:55,662
what got us through the pandemic
1307
01:00:55,763 --> 01:01:00,467
and made all our futures so very
bright, but whatever it was...
1308
01:01:00,567 --> 01:01:03,237
may we have it
for the rest of our days.
1309
01:01:03,337 --> 01:01:05,840
God bless us, everyone.
1310
01:01:05,940 --> 01:01:08,375
ALL:
Cheers!
1311
01:01:08,475 --> 01:01:10,410
ANNOUNCER:
Remember, folks,
1312
01:01:10,510 --> 01:01:13,147
weed can't solve
all your problems.
1313
01:01:13,247 --> 01:01:15,682
But Tegridy can.
1314
01:01:15,783 --> 01:01:19,019
Tegridy Weed.
1315
01:01:21,055 --> 01:01:23,290
* *
99147
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