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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:34,202 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh heh heh heh. 2 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,403 Ow! 3 00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:38,272 Whoa! 4 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:39,940 Cool. Heh heh heh heh. 5 00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,275 Aah! 6 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,378 Aah! 7 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,879 Hee hee hee hee. 8 00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:49,350 Aah! 9 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,219 Ow! Damn it, Butt-Head. 10 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:53,721 Ow! Space sucks. 11 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,692 Heh heh heh. That was cool. 12 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,531 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh heh heh. 13 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:44,205 Oh, hello. I'm Butt-Head. 14 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,539 Heh heh heh. 15 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,408 And I'm Beavis. Heh. Heh. Welcome. 16 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,809 Heh heh heh. 17 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,378 Some of you may be wondering where 18 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,346 we've been since we saw you last. 19 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,515 Well, it's quite a tale. 20 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,685 A tale of two heroes on a quest to score, 21 00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,687 across time and space. 22 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,956 It's a story of sex, violence, power... 23 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,259 Yeah, and fire, heh, yeah, fire, heh. 24 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,760 Yeah, don't forget about that. 25 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,597 It all began one ordinary day, 26 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,132 a day just like any other. 27 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,268 Heh heh. Ow! Ow! 28 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,237 Ow! Heh. Ow! Heh. 29 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,705 Ow... heh... ow... heh... 30 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,207 Aah! Ow! 31 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:22,142 Aah! Ow! Heh... ow! 32 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,977 What are you two doing? 33 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,346 Ow! Heh. 34 00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,748 Uh... we're trying to find out how many times 35 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,251 I can kick Beavis in the nads before he passes out. 36 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,585 Yeah, heh. 37 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:34,922 And that's your science fair project? 38 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,089 Uhh... 39 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,391 what science fair? 40 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:38,792 Yeah, what's that? 41 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,461 - Heh heh - Heh heh heh. 42 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:44,432 Well, it's too bad you didn't take this more seriously, okay? 43 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,367 The winner of the science fair this year 44 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:50,070 gets a free trip to NASA Space Camp. 45 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,339 Whoa. 46 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,540 Space camp? 47 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:53,907 That's pretty cool, Butt-Head. 48 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,944 What if we really did do a nad-kicking 49 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,247 science experiment and, and like, 50 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,548 we did measurements 51 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,483 and we wrote stuff down with a pencil 52 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,751 like you're supposed to and... 53 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:06,119 And maybe we could prove everybody wrong 54 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,121 and win the whole science... 55 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,223 Aah! 56 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,958 Heh heh. 57 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,293 Whoa. 58 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:17,965 Beavis, I have an idea for our science fair project. 59 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,468 Heh heh heh heh. 60 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,203 Uh, okay, now stand here. 61 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,205 Okay. 62 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,475 Heh heh heh. 63 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,909 Okay. 64 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,044 You're not gonna kick me in the nads again, are you? 65 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,580 No, I'm not, Beavis. 66 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:33,814 Those days are over. 67 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,617 Oh, good. That's a relief. 68 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,586 That is the best news I've heard all day. 69 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:41,255 Heh heh heh. 70 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,322 What's that thing? 71 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,663 Aah! 72 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:53,767 Aah! 73 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,404 Ahh... uhh... 74 00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,474 Beavis! 75 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:03,176 Beavis, what the hell are you doing? 76 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:07,047 - Did we win the science fair? - Even better, Beavis. 77 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,248 We kicked its ass. 78 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,517 Check it out. 79 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,219 Whoa! Fire! Fire! 80 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,922 Fire! Heh. Fire! 81 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,057 Beavis and Butt-Head, 82 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,427 this court hereby finds you guilty. 83 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,562 - Yes! - Yeah! 84 00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:22,629 Kick-ass, yeah. 85 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,733 Please rise. 86 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,369 Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence? 87 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:31,038 Uhh, if it like pleased the court, 88 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,573 or something? 89 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,709 In my defense, I was trying to kick Beavis in the nads. 90 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:39,580 And I just want to say, Your Majesty, 91 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:43,016 that, um, the explosions were really cool. 92 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,319 Amen. Heh heh. 93 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,755 Many have said, when it comes to sentencing, 94 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,623 I'm the toughest judge in the state. 95 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,091 And they're right. 96 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,961 But last night, I watched a show called 97 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:56,864 "Touched by an Angel," and it made me think. 98 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,266 When I look at these two boys today, 99 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,035 I don't see their failure. 100 00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:03,971 I see our failure. 101 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,106 - He said "touched." - Heh heh heh. 102 00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,341 Heh, heh, yeah, heh. 103 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,677 You boys like explosions, don't you? 104 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,311 Uh. Yeah. 105 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,080 And fire. Heh heh heh. 106 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,182 Well, you know who else liked explosions? 107 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,685 Neil Armstrong. 108 00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,987 And the only difference between him and you 109 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,590 is he had the benefit of supportive families 110 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,991 and teachers. 111 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,826 Families. Heh heh heh. 112 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:28,095 You know what Neil Armstrong did? 113 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,196 Did he score? 114 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,599 He was the first man on the moon. 115 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,833 Yeah, yeah. 116 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,267 We never found out who 117 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,936 won that trip to space camp, 118 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,906 because the records were lost when the gym burned down. 119 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:41,375 But whoever it was is going to be fine. 120 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:45,713 They're going to go on to good colleges and fine careers. 121 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,716 So I say, why not give opportunity 122 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,018 to those who really need it 123 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,622 and unlock the potential of these two at-risk youths? 124 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,691 I hereby sentence Beavis and Butt-Head 125 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:01,361 to eight weeks of Space Camp. 126 00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,296 O-o-oh, no! 127 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,307 Heh heh heh heh. 128 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,009 It says Johnson. 129 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,846 - Heh heh heh. - Boi-oi-oi-oing... 130 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,549 Good morning. 131 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,216 I'm Commander Serena Ryan, 132 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,819 and I'm captain of the Space Shuttle Endeavor. 133 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,354 And I'm Jim Hartson, 134 00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,265 the lieutenant commander, which is also an important... 135 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,958 This week, you'll have a front row seat 136 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,326 while we prepare to take a very important mission 137 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,628 into space. Yep. 138 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:35,929 We're gonna bring a new 139 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,865 telescope to the Mir space station 140 00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:41,168 and use it to observe a small black hole. 141 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,670 Hole. 142 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,071 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh. Heh. 143 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,782 Albert Einstein and Nathan Rosen theorized 144 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,174 black holes could contain rifts 145 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,143 in the very fabric of the universe, or wormholes, 146 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,780 that could allow one to travel through time and space. 147 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,948 Wormhole? Uh-heh-heh. 148 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:58,285 Yeah, I always wondered how worms score. 149 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,721 To my right here is a model of the entry port 150 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,690 of Russia's Mir Space Station, 151 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,133 where we're going to have to execute 152 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,326 a very difficult docking maneuver. 153 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,762 I'm going to turn things over to Officer Hartson now 154 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,499 and he's going to show us how it works. 155 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,236 Whoa! 156 00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,305 Oohh, yeah! 157 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,480 - Oohh, yeah. - Whoa. 158 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,716 Heh heh heh. 159 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,383 Okay, space campers. 160 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,687 Now, the fun stuff... Orbital mechanics. 161 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,422 Come on. Group: Yeah! 162 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,592 Heh heh heh heh. 163 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,762 - Heh. Heh-heh. - Heh. 164 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,766 Oohh, yeah! 165 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,905 - Oohh, yeah! - Whoa! 166 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,510 - Oohh, yeah! - Whoa! 167 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,046 - Oh! - Whoa... 168 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:04,117 - Oohh, yeah. - Whoa! 169 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,087 - Oohh, yeah, get it! - Whoa. 170 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,522 - Yeah. - Heh heh heh. 171 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,790 I hope you're not spending 172 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,759 too much with the space campers, Serena. 173 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,761 NASA has a lot riding on this mission. 174 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,529 Hey, you guys have to see this. 175 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:16,897 It's amazing. 176 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,032 - Ooh, yeah! - It's these two kids 177 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,868 from Space Camp... They're phenomenal! 178 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,870 They've been doing this for 18 hours 179 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,005 without food or water. 180 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,007 It's almost like they have an unhealthy 181 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,909 single-minded obsession with it. 182 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,878 Check this out, Butt-Head. 183 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,088 They're using the robotic arm 184 00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,757 as a secondary backup in case of mechanical failure. 185 00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:44,968 No one's ever thought of that. 186 00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:47,027 Incredible. 187 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,796 They're brilliant. 188 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,664 Wait a minute. 189 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:54,301 What if we brought them on the mission to do the docking? 190 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,670 You want those two to go up in space 191 00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,639 and dock the actual space shuttle 192 00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,207 to the Mir space station? 193 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,885 And also, I thought I was gonna do that... 194 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,110 Think of the PR. 195 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,212 Two at-risk youths turned astronauts? 196 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:07,180 We could finally get Americans interested 197 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,582 in the space program again. 198 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,084 What do we have to lose? Nothing, I don't think. 199 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,862 They'll never make it through the training. 200 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,655 But if they do? 201 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,489 - Whoa! - Yeah! 202 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,659 We'll see. 203 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:21,161 - Oohh, yeah. - Hey, boys. 204 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,396 - Shut up! We're busy. - Let me ask you something. 205 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,399 How would you guys like to do that... 206 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,836 but do it for real? 207 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,504 Whoa. You want us to do that... 208 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,041 for real? Whoa. Heh heh. 209 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,777 That's right. I want you to do that for real. 210 00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,879 In space, with me. 211 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,948 W-w-with you? Heh. Heh. 212 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,783 - That's right. - Whoa! 213 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,151 - Yes! - Absolutely. 214 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,186 Yes! A thousand times yes! 215 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,289 I like your enthusiasm. But it's gonna be hard work. 216 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,892 You're gonna have to practice doing this a lot. 217 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,861 For hours, every day. 218 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,428 Yeah, I... I already do. Yeah, heh. 219 00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,797 In the bathroom, yeah. 220 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:59,032 Sometimes, in the teacher's lounge. 221 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,634 Heh-heh. Ma'am. 222 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:03,403 We've been waiting our entire lives for this opportunity. 223 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:04,772 We will not let you down. 224 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,909 Then let's start your training. 225 00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,744 - Yeah! - Heh heh heh. 226 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:16,684 Beavis. 227 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,252 The government is about to train our schlongs. 228 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:22,422 For all mankind. 229 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:27,227 Whoa! 230 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:31,064 Hey, Butt-Head, what part of sex does this train us for? 231 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,066 Uh... I think it's the part 232 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,035 where your face hurts or something. 233 00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:38,906 Oh, yeah, yeah. That's gonna be good, yeah. 234 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,042 Oohh, yeah. 235 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,778 Get it! Yeah, yeah! 236 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,419 Does everybody who scores have to do this? 237 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,121 Uhhh... probably. 238 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,724 - Ugh. - Damn it. 239 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,866 Not bad. 240 00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,636 Heh-heh. Heh. 241 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,482 Damn it, Beavis, stop barfing or you're going to 242 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,506 make me bar... 243 00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:21,314 - Uh... - Yeah, boy. 244 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,916 Well, that concludes your training. 245 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,251 So what do you think? 246 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,652 Are you ready to do it? 247 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,955 Yeah, I was ready before, but now I know how 248 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,957 to do it upside down, or something. 249 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,358 Yeah. 250 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,093 I'm ready to do it right now, if you want. 251 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,594 That's what I like to hear. 252 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,730 Now, go get yourselves cleaned up. 253 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:40,834 Beavis, tomorrow, we are going to score with that lady. 254 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,036 In outer space? 255 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,772 Wherever she wants it. 256 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,975 Outer space, the back of a car, I don't care. 257 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,778 Yeah, me neither. 258 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,080 Well? What do you think? 259 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,983 I think NASA has a couple new astronauts. 260 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,332 Do you know how few people 261 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,467 have done what you're about to do? 262 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:15,836 Um. No. 263 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,705 Only 256 men and 49 women. 264 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,841 That's a little more than I was hoping, 265 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,075 but, you know, that's okay. 266 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,044 From 16 different countries, 267 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:26,814 ranging in age from 28-77. 268 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,549 Jesus Christ! We get it. 269 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,119 And that's not even counting the Russian dog and the monkey. 270 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,520 Enough! 271 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,722 Of course, there were some who didn't make it. 272 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,825 We're not going to be one of those, ma'am. 273 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,960 I can assure you. 274 00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,204 Yeah, we understand the risks. 275 00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:43,363 Mr. Beaven. Mr. Boothroid. 276 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,266 You're the youngest astronauts ever on the space shuttle. 277 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,668 What's this moment feel like? 278 00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,503 Oh, hold on a second. 279 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,405 I've got something I want to say. 280 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,807 Heh heh heh. 281 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,009 Um, I just wanna say 282 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,777 I've wanted to do this my whole life, 283 00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:00,914 but I never thought it would really happen, 284 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,782 and I dreamed about it every night 285 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,617 and then... and then I'd wake up 286 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:07,921 and feel ashamed and I'd try to hide it from my mom. 287 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,190 But today, my dream will come true. 288 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:11,658 - Heh heh heh. - And, um, 289 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:14,227 I just want to say that makes me the luckiest man 290 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,464 in the world. 291 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:25,839 Boi-oi-oi-oing! 292 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:30,978 10, 9, 8, 7, 6... 293 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,846 Counting sucks. 294 00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:38,251 2, 1, lift-off. 295 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:41,721 Fire! Fire! Fire! 296 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:51,498 Endeavor, you are a go for orbital operations. 297 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:54,034 Damn it. 298 00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,835 I think the floor's not working. 299 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:57,537 How are you boys doing? 300 00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,607 Well, Serena, um, do you wanna like just do it right now? 301 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,142 Or I was thinking maybe we could... 302 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,510 We don't need you 303 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:04,954 until we dock with the Mir in three hours. 304 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:09,116 Until then, do you wanna see something amazing? 305 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:21,194 Sunrise over Mother Earth. 306 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:24,531 Incredible, isn't it? 307 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,599 Is it three hours yet? 308 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,768 This is the best view on the whole ship. 309 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,704 That's why they put the controls for the telescope here. 310 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:34,574 Don't mess with those, unless you want to risk 311 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:37,277 breaking a $2 billion piece of equipment. 312 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,914 Now it's probably three hours, right? 313 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:46,386 Take it all in while you can. Just think, all of life, 314 00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:47,955 everything we've ever known, 315 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:51,458 is down there on that beautiful blue marble. 316 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,468 Ehh. The Earth sucks. 317 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,171 Let's mess with those things. 318 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,173 Heh heh heh. 319 00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,285 All I see is, like, nighttime or something. 320 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,587 Let's point it at the sun. 321 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:25,125 Cool, yeah. Heh heh. Maybe we'll see some fire. 322 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,565 Let's have a look here. See what we can see. 323 00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,368 Aah! 324 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,938 I saw something but, like, it went away. 325 00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:41,774 Try the other eye. You've got two of them. 326 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,111 Oh yeah, yeah, heh. Good idea. 327 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,846 Look over here and... aah! 328 00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:49,049 Beavis, you can't do anything right. 329 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,817 Step aside. 330 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,736 Okay, boys. It's go time. 331 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:18,145 - It's kinda dark. - Let me help you there. 332 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,147 It can be tough, your first time in space. 333 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,349 Thank you, ma'am. 334 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:23,650 Are you ready to do it? 335 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,960 Yeah, but I thought you wanted us 336 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,353 to do the docking first. 337 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,788 Commence docking sequence. 338 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,871 See? They're doing great. 339 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,914 Wait. What are you doing? 340 00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:56,616 What are they doing? 341 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:03,956 - No, no, stop! - No, no, no... 342 00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,396 Beavis: What's going on? 343 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,630 Whoa! 344 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,401 Ow! Somebody hit us! 345 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,772 Fire! 346 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:22,008 Fire! Fire! 347 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,277 Damn it, I can't see it. 348 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,915 Fire! 349 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,722 Endeavor. 350 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,724 Endeavor, can you hear me? 351 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,296 We copy, Houston. 352 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,665 Endeavor, your situation is critical. 353 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,201 You've lost 91% of your oxygen 354 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:51,404 and 93% of the fuel you need to return to Earth. 355 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,972 The Mir has been damaged, 356 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:55,608 causing an international incident with Russia. 357 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,077 We've missed our window to observe the black hole 358 00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:01,581 which will next be this close to Earth in 34 trillion years. 359 00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,316 Also... 360 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,689 And now we've lost comms with Earth. 361 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,023 Uhh... 362 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,668 well, if you're looking for some good news, 363 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:15,128 I can see again. 364 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,996 Yeah, we're ready to try the docking now. 365 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,566 Looks like you guys got in a wreck. 366 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,668 Heh-heh. Yeah, what happened? 367 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,636 We're gonna make it back to Earth. 368 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,205 I promise you that. 369 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:26,806 But here's the problem. 370 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,575 I don't know how to say this, 371 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:29,718 so I'm just gonna get right to it. 372 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,043 There are seven of us, 373 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,480 and we only have enough oxygen for five people 374 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,981 to make it home alive. 375 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,083 So we all have a decision to make. 376 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:41,854 Two people need to sacrifice themselves. 377 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,823 Um, heh. Now, look, um, heh. 378 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,626 I-I think we're all thinking the same thing here. 379 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,295 Can we put the TV back on? 380 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:51,631 Yeah, but something cool this time, 'cause that show sucked. 381 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:54,634 Yeah, yeah, really. "You have no oxygen." 382 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,403 Blah, blah, blah, blah. No, we can't put 383 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,171 the TV back on... That was our last 384 00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,606 communication with Earth. 385 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,674 - You know... - Captain, if I can make 386 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,810 a suggestion... Guys. 387 00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,078 I volunteer. 388 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,481 - Captain, no. - You can't be serious. 389 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,517 I'm the captain of this ship. 390 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,685 It would be easy to blame our predicament 391 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,388 on the mistakes of two absolute idiots. 392 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,524 Boy, I'm glad you said it and not us. 393 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,492 Heh-heh. Yeah, really. 394 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,861 Where'd you find these two dumbasses? 395 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:25,632 No, you! I'm clearly talking about you. 396 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,335 But I chose you for this mission. 397 00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:29,836 And ultimately, 398 00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,705 the responsibility lies with me. 399 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,541 I'll volunteer too. 400 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,409 If this is the end, 401 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,778 I wanna make it count for something. 402 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,981 End. 403 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:45,518 I'm gonna put on my suit and take one last spacewalk. 404 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,955 It's how I always wanted to go. 405 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:52,392 Wait a minute, where's she going? 406 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,160 Is it time to score? Heh heh heh. 407 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,963 Beavis, they put us in this rocket thing 408 00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:00,199 for one reason: to score with Serena. 409 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:03,536 It's gonna be one giant leap for our schlongs. 410 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:06,239 Yeah, for all mankind. 411 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:11,844 Uh, Serena? 412 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,480 What? 413 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:16,649 I-I just wanted to thank you for choosing us for this honor. 414 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,117 I know I'm not the first guy 415 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:20,587 most people would pick, but you did and... 416 00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:23,323 and I'll be thankful for the rest of my life. 417 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,791 That's all. 418 00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:28,194 Your actions this day will not soon be forgotten. 419 00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:31,197 Maybe I misjudged you two. 420 00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,799 Listen. 421 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:37,437 This belonged to my grandmother. She used to tell me, 422 00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,539 "Keep dreaming your dreams." Mmhmm. 423 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,874 "One day, they might just come true." 424 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:44,444 - Ha. - I want you to have it. 425 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:45,912 Okay. Heh. 426 00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,915 Watch me through the window, doing what I love. 427 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,783 One last time. 428 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,785 My dream's over... Uhhuh. 429 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:56,222 But I hope someday your dream comes true. 430 00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:01,060 I've gotta go put on my suit. 431 00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:05,632 Whoa, she wants us to watch her change through the window. 432 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:06,899 Heh heh heh heh. 433 00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,501 Are you sure about that, Butt-Head? 434 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,737 Of course, dumb-ass. You heard her. 435 00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,271 She said watch me through the window 436 00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:13,579 and your dreams will come true. 437 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,074 Oh yeah. 438 00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:17,510 And she gave us this bracelet to seal the deal. 439 00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:20,012 Yeah. 440 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,624 Oh, yeah. Heh. 441 00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:46,873 Are you shitting me? 442 00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:55,382 Okay. I've had enough of these dickheads. 443 00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:06,526 Enjoy space. 444 00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:08,194 Now that I'm about to be captain, 445 00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:10,830 things are gonna be a little different around here. 446 00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:12,865 First of all... oh. Hello! 447 00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:15,635 I have some extremely distressing news to share. 448 00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:17,770 Specialist Beavis and Specialist Butt-Head 449 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,806 made the very brave and noble decision 450 00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,974 to sacrifice themselves. 451 00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:25,745 - Oh, that's awful. - What a tragedy. 452 00:22:25,812 --> 00:22:28,615 So, no reason for me to volunteer, then? 453 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,383 Okay. 454 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:33,119 Just so we're clear, then... I un-volunteer. 455 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,221 I did volunteer, you know. For the record. 456 00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:36,723 You can tell people. 457 00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:43,295 Aah! 458 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,297 - Aah! - Ohh... 459 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,900 Believe me, I tried to talk them out of it. 460 00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:50,169 But they felt it was the right thing to do, 461 00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:53,205 and they left the airlock before I could stop them. 462 00:22:53,272 --> 00:22:55,742 - Oh, no... - But while their tragically, 463 00:22:55,808 --> 00:22:58,144 brief lives may be over, 464 00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,947 they will live forever in our memories. 465 00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:07,253 Yeah. 466 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,130 The elaborate dance of seduction continues. 467 00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:21,233 Yeah, she really knows how to build the anticipation. 468 00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,536 You know what I'm saying? 469 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:26,539 Whoa! Um, Butt-Head? 470 00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:27,907 What is that thing? 471 00:23:27,974 --> 00:23:31,243 It feels like sucking us in or something. 472 00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:35,214 Uh... it looks like some kind of gigantic hole. 473 00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:39,218 And it's black. Wait a minute, Beavis. 474 00:23:39,285 --> 00:23:41,053 I think I know what kind of hole this is. 475 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:42,789 Really? 476 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:44,223 It's a butthole. 477 00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:46,959 No, no, no. No way. No thanks. 478 00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:49,295 I don't want to die in a butthole! 479 00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:53,633 I have dreams about it all the time... no! No way! 480 00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:55,602 - Settle down, Beavis. - Uh-oh-ahh! 481 00:24:03,743 --> 00:24:06,813 - Aah! - Aah! 482 00:24:24,430 --> 00:24:25,765 Umm, Butt-Head. 483 00:24:25,832 --> 00:24:27,399 Where are we? 484 00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:32,572 - Uh... I don't know. - Are we still in space? 485 00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:35,441 Whoa, Beavis. You're not gonna believe this. 486 00:24:35,508 --> 00:24:38,477 Look at that number, up there on the billboard. 487 00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:39,779 Let's see, um... heh. 488 00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:43,115 There's a two. And then, um, some kind of circle. 489 00:24:43,182 --> 00:24:44,717 And I don't know what that is, 490 00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:46,128 I've never seen one of those before. 491 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:47,720 No, dumb-ass. Not that number. 492 00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:49,455 That one. 493 00:24:49,522 --> 00:24:51,123 69. 494 00:24:54,226 --> 00:24:58,430 Um, so anyway, um, are we still in space, though? 495 00:24:59,932 --> 00:25:04,136 Whoa, Beavis. Look, it's Serena. 496 00:25:04,203 --> 00:25:06,072 Whoa! 497 00:25:06,138 --> 00:25:08,340 I guess she like made a big sign so we'd remember 498 00:25:08,407 --> 00:25:10,376 we're supposed to score with her. 499 00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:11,678 Oh, yeah, yeah. 500 00:25:11,744 --> 00:25:13,546 You know, that's really thoughtful of her, 501 00:25:13,613 --> 00:25:15,848 she's a really nice lady. 502 00:25:15,915 --> 00:25:17,817 Well, let's go do her. 503 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:27,594 The missing nuke is somewhere here in the Caucasus Mountains. 504 00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:29,796 It is our nation's highest priority to find it. 505 00:25:29,862 --> 00:25:31,898 It's happened. 506 00:25:31,964 --> 00:25:34,100 Excuse me. 507 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:37,469 We've detected a major space-time breach 508 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:38,838 in American airspace. 509 00:25:38,905 --> 00:25:40,673 My God. 510 00:25:40,740 --> 00:25:42,541 And something came through it... 511 00:25:42,609 --> 00:25:44,210 Two lifeforms. 512 00:25:44,276 --> 00:25:47,279 Who could it be? The Chinese... Russia? 513 00:25:47,346 --> 00:25:49,081 Or aliens. 514 00:25:49,148 --> 00:25:51,684 This is why we needed that space telescope 515 00:25:51,751 --> 00:25:54,486 to observe the black hole in '98... damn it! 516 00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:55,722 Whatever they are, 517 00:25:55,788 --> 00:25:57,790 we need to get down there and find them. 518 00:25:57,857 --> 00:25:59,592 And dissect them. 519 00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:02,995 Get Alpha Team on the plane. We're wheels up in five minutes. 520 00:26:13,539 --> 00:26:14,974 That's better. 521 00:26:15,041 --> 00:26:17,276 You can't score with these things on. 522 00:26:20,012 --> 00:26:21,848 Greetings, Beavis and Butt-Head. 523 00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:24,150 We bring you a grave warning. 524 00:26:24,216 --> 00:26:28,520 Uh... who are you fart knockers? 525 00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:31,057 We are you, from what your primitive planet 526 00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,092 would call an "alternate universe." 527 00:26:33,159 --> 00:26:35,461 - A what? - An alternate universe. 528 00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:38,430 Uh... a what? 529 00:26:38,497 --> 00:26:42,635 Um, did you see the cartoon Spider-Man movie, per chance? 530 00:26:42,702 --> 00:26:45,037 - Uh... no. - Oh. 531 00:26:45,104 --> 00:26:47,606 That would have made explaining it a lot easier. 532 00:26:47,674 --> 00:26:50,309 Our names are unknowable to your puny brains. 533 00:26:50,376 --> 00:26:52,411 But you may call us Smart Beavis 534 00:26:52,478 --> 00:26:53,980 and Smart Butt-Head. 535 00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:55,682 You see, in infinite universes, 536 00:26:55,748 --> 00:26:58,250 there are infinite iterations of every person. 537 00:26:58,317 --> 00:27:01,087 Every possible version of you exists, 538 00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:04,356 and we are the most intelligent versions. 539 00:27:04,423 --> 00:27:08,160 Uh... did any of the other versions ever score? 540 00:27:08,227 --> 00:27:09,628 No. 541 00:27:09,696 --> 00:27:12,431 No version of Beavis and Butt-Head has ever scored. 542 00:27:12,498 --> 00:27:15,267 That is true in every reality. 543 00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:16,736 Cool. 544 00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:18,637 We're gonna be the first ones. 545 00:27:18,705 --> 00:27:20,006 Oh, yeah. 546 00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:21,407 Humorous, quite humorous. Yes. 547 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,509 Droll, very droll, yes. Whimsical. 548 00:27:23,575 --> 00:27:26,378 That is amusing, yes. Quite jocular, yes. 549 00:27:26,445 --> 00:27:28,214 Mirthful, yes. 550 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,182 Okay, that's enough frivolity. 551 00:27:30,249 --> 00:27:31,689 When you went through the black hole, 552 00:27:31,751 --> 00:27:33,853 you traveled through a five-dimensional portal 553 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,421 in space and time. 554 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,689 But in so doing, 555 00:27:36,756 --> 00:27:38,925 you damaged the delicate structure of the cosmos. 556 00:27:38,991 --> 00:27:40,860 Damage is cool. 557 00:27:40,927 --> 00:27:42,729 And now, both of our universes 558 00:27:42,795 --> 00:27:44,731 face total destruction. 559 00:27:44,797 --> 00:27:46,766 And so we come to you for help. 560 00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:48,234 There's a space-time portal 561 00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:49,936 that will return you to your time. 562 00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:53,405 You must enter this portal before it closes in two days, 563 00:27:53,472 --> 00:27:57,343 or everything you have ever known will be gone forever. 564 00:27:57,409 --> 00:27:59,445 The portal is located on the highest point 565 00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:02,548 on your planet, atop your "Mount Everest." 566 00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:04,250 This is your quest. 567 00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:06,685 You have exactly two days. 568 00:28:06,753 --> 00:28:08,254 May science be with you. 569 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,923 You said "mount," Smart Beavis. 570 00:28:10,990 --> 00:28:12,258 Yes, their primitive language 571 00:28:12,324 --> 00:28:14,060 has two meanings for that word, yes. 572 00:28:14,126 --> 00:28:15,227 Humorous, quite jocular. 573 00:28:15,294 --> 00:28:17,496 Very droll and whimsical, yes, yes. 574 00:28:19,398 --> 00:28:22,068 - What did they say? - Uhh. I don't know. 575 00:28:22,134 --> 00:28:25,671 I think they were like British or something. 576 00:28:25,738 --> 00:28:27,573 Okay, now let's go score. 577 00:28:30,142 --> 00:28:31,944 Um, we're here for Serena. 578 00:28:32,011 --> 00:28:33,846 She probably told you about us. 579 00:28:33,913 --> 00:28:35,681 So if you can just like, you know, 580 00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:37,683 tell her we're ready to get down with it. 581 00:28:37,750 --> 00:28:38,951 Heh heh heh heh. 582 00:28:39,018 --> 00:28:40,987 Okay, so you want to volunteer? 583 00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,790 Maybe do some canvassing for Serena? 584 00:28:43,856 --> 00:28:45,491 Canvassing? 585 00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:47,393 We've never done this before, so like, 586 00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:49,695 maybe just, you know, the regular way. 587 00:28:49,762 --> 00:28:51,697 I wanna volunteer my wiener. 588 00:28:53,165 --> 00:28:55,101 Why don't we just step over here 589 00:28:55,167 --> 00:28:56,836 so we can get a picture of you two. 590 00:28:56,903 --> 00:28:58,881 Do we need to, like, take our clothes off or something? 591 00:28:58,905 --> 00:28:59,972 Yeah. 592 00:29:00,039 --> 00:29:01,607 We're gonna score! 593 00:29:04,710 --> 00:29:06,578 Oh, these polls are horseshit. 594 00:29:06,645 --> 00:29:08,881 Can you remind me why I'm paying you 595 00:29:08,948 --> 00:29:10,549 to get me re-elected governor? 596 00:29:10,616 --> 00:29:13,685 And me re-elected lieutenant governor, which is also... 597 00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,597 Well, Governor, our new strategy is youth outreach. 598 00:29:15,621 --> 00:29:17,101 - Youth outreach. - Our campaign teams 599 00:29:17,156 --> 00:29:18,433 have been recruiting young volunteers 600 00:29:18,457 --> 00:29:19,725 to use for a new ad campaign. 601 00:29:19,792 --> 00:29:21,961 We brought some pictures for you to look at. 602 00:29:22,028 --> 00:29:23,863 - Pictures, okay. - No, no. 603 00:29:23,930 --> 00:29:25,597 Loser. Eww. 604 00:29:25,664 --> 00:29:27,666 No. 605 00:29:30,636 --> 00:29:32,538 Clear the room. 606 00:29:35,374 --> 00:29:37,309 I'm assuming you wanted me to stay, 607 00:29:37,376 --> 00:29:38,677 because I'm second in command. 608 00:29:38,744 --> 00:29:40,212 Look at this. 609 00:29:40,279 --> 00:29:42,148 They look exactly like those kids I killed 610 00:29:42,214 --> 00:29:43,715 on the mission in '98. 611 00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:45,751 Wow. They really do. 612 00:29:45,818 --> 00:29:48,254 But they can't be the same kids... that's impossible. 613 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,423 It's them. I know it. 614 00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:55,828 I spent three weeks stranded in space because of those two, 615 00:29:55,895 --> 00:29:57,629 certain I would die. 616 00:29:57,696 --> 00:29:59,598 Drinking my own urine. 617 00:29:59,665 --> 00:30:02,201 We had to eat flight specialist Jung. 618 00:30:02,268 --> 00:30:04,270 Yeah, I didn't actually get to eat any... 619 00:30:04,336 --> 00:30:05,537 And then 24 years 620 00:30:05,604 --> 00:30:07,406 haunted that I had killed two people, 621 00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:09,675 that the world would find out what I'd done. 622 00:30:09,741 --> 00:30:11,777 Yes, sometimes I wish I didn't know that 623 00:30:11,844 --> 00:30:13,880 because it sorta puts me in a tricky position 624 00:30:13,946 --> 00:30:15,347 going-to-jail-wise. 625 00:30:15,414 --> 00:30:17,392 They must have fallen into the black hole somehow. 626 00:30:17,416 --> 00:30:19,886 Traveled through an Einstein-Rosen wormhole. 627 00:30:19,952 --> 00:30:21,753 That's amazing. 628 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:23,465 I mean, we have to tell the scientific community... 629 00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:25,892 We have to kill them before they tell everyone what I did. 630 00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:28,260 Right kill them. Yep. Mm-hmm, no, that's what I meant. 631 00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:29,495 That's yeah, okay, good. 632 00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:30,841 I just hope we're not too late. 633 00:30:30,897 --> 00:30:32,131 Get the helicopter. 634 00:30:32,198 --> 00:30:34,200 Tell them I'm gonna go visit some sick... 635 00:30:34,266 --> 00:30:37,269 I don't know... veterans or dogs. 636 00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:39,538 Why wasn't she there, Butt-Head? 637 00:30:39,605 --> 00:30:41,240 Why would she put up a big picture 638 00:30:41,307 --> 00:30:43,209 of herself and then not be there? 639 00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:45,811 Uh... it's a little game she's playing. 640 00:30:45,878 --> 00:30:48,047 She wants us to chase her. 641 00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:51,083 Oh yeah. Here we come. 642 00:30:51,150 --> 00:30:53,385 Excuse me. Excuse me. 643 00:30:53,452 --> 00:30:55,821 Please would you to take this? 644 00:30:55,888 --> 00:30:57,990 - Uh, take it? - Yes. 645 00:30:58,057 --> 00:30:59,325 Okay. 646 00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:04,196 No, you hold like this and look here. 647 00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:06,765 Whoa. Check it out, Beavis. 648 00:31:06,832 --> 00:31:09,735 That guy just gave us a cool little TV. 649 00:31:09,801 --> 00:31:12,804 Heh. Do you have any bigger TVs? 650 00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:15,741 Uh, this show sucks. 651 00:31:15,807 --> 00:31:18,744 It's like just these fat people standing there. 652 00:31:18,810 --> 00:31:21,647 I don't know, Butt-Head. It's not that bad. Heh heh. 653 00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:23,149 Is good? 654 00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:24,716 Should we back up? 655 00:31:24,783 --> 00:31:27,019 Uh, Okay. 656 00:31:27,086 --> 00:31:29,521 Like this or more backing up? 657 00:31:29,588 --> 00:31:31,123 Uh... 658 00:31:31,190 --> 00:31:33,059 We're trying to watch TV. 659 00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:36,295 Like thi... ahh! 660 00:31:40,599 --> 00:31:42,068 That was cool. 661 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:44,403 Yeah, it's like the show really found itself, you know. 662 00:31:44,470 --> 00:31:47,273 Glad we stuck with it. 663 00:31:50,476 --> 00:31:53,845 Uh, we want some nachos, but we don't have any money. 664 00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:56,215 So why don't you just pay with your phone? 665 00:31:56,282 --> 00:31:58,617 Uh... you mean this thing? 666 00:31:58,684 --> 00:32:01,220 Here. I'll show you, what's your password? 667 00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:03,956 Ehh, password? 668 00:32:04,023 --> 00:32:06,792 Your password is password. 669 00:32:06,858 --> 00:32:10,029 That's original. 670 00:32:10,496 --> 00:32:14,466 Whoa, we just paid for that with this? 671 00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:16,378 Yeah, you can pay for anything with your phone. 672 00:32:16,402 --> 00:32:18,737 Whoa. Anything? 673 00:32:18,804 --> 00:32:21,540 That's right. Anything at all. 674 00:32:21,607 --> 00:32:24,476 Beavis, this changes everything. 675 00:32:26,645 --> 00:32:28,047 ♪ Shit, Scottie, shit ♪ 676 00:32:28,114 --> 00:32:30,082 ♪ Let's make it rain on these niggas ♪ 677 00:32:32,151 --> 00:32:34,353 ♪ Yeah, I'm in this business of terror ♪ 678 00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:37,489 ♪ Got a handful of stacks, better grab an umbrella ♪ 679 00:32:37,556 --> 00:32:39,058 ♪ I make it rain, I make it rain ♪ 680 00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:40,759 ♪ I'm in this business of terror ♪ 681 00:32:40,826 --> 00:32:42,761 ♪ Got a handful of stacks ♪ 682 00:32:42,828 --> 00:32:44,296 ♪ Better grab an umbrella ♪ 683 00:32:44,363 --> 00:32:45,640 ♪ I make it rain, I make it rain ♪ 684 00:32:45,664 --> 00:32:47,266 ♪ Make it rain on them hos ♪ 685 00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:49,001 ♪ I make it rain, I make it rain ♪ 686 00:32:49,068 --> 00:32:51,237 ♪ I make it rain on them hos, I make it rain ♪ 687 00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,572 ♪ I make it rain, I make it rain on them hos ♪ 688 00:32:53,639 --> 00:32:55,507 ♪ I make it rain, I make it rain ♪ 689 00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:57,109 ♪ I make it rain on them hos ♪ 690 00:32:57,176 --> 00:32:59,678 ♪ Cr-cr-crack crack crack crack crack ♪ 691 00:32:59,745 --> 00:33:01,113 ♪ You hear the echo ♪ 692 00:33:01,180 --> 00:33:02,548 ♪ Man, I seen the best go ♪ 693 00:33:02,614 --> 00:33:04,016 ♪ Cuz he ain't had that metal ♪ 694 00:33:04,083 --> 00:33:05,717 ♪ I'm a hustla hustla ♪ 695 00:33:05,784 --> 00:33:07,353 ♪ A pusher's pusher ♪ 696 00:33:07,419 --> 00:33:09,088 - Ugh! - ♪ You busta customer ♪ 697 00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:10,522 ♪ I get you sum cooka ♪ 698 00:33:10,589 --> 00:33:12,224 ♪ Yeah, crack is a chemist ♪ 699 00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:13,959 ♪ I pack an 11 ♪ 700 00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:15,494 ♪ I'm mackin' a 7 ♪ 701 00:33:15,561 --> 00:33:17,263 ♪ I clap at your reverend ♪ 702 00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:18,664 ♪ I'll see you in NY ♪ 703 00:33:18,730 --> 00:33:20,099 ♪ I'll send you an invite... ♪ 704 00:33:23,869 --> 00:33:26,638 Sir, based on eyewitness interviews, 705 00:33:26,705 --> 00:33:28,740 we've made a composite sketch of the life forms. 706 00:33:30,809 --> 00:33:33,845 Whatever they are, they're definitely not human. 707 00:33:36,715 --> 00:33:40,619 Uh, send up 100 more orders of nachos. 708 00:33:40,686 --> 00:33:43,989 Hey Butt-Head, this phone kicks ass and everything. 709 00:33:44,056 --> 00:33:45,924 But we need to find Serena. 710 00:33:45,991 --> 00:33:47,526 Shut up, Beavis. 711 00:33:47,593 --> 00:33:49,395 I'm speaking with the nacho man. 712 00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:53,532 You see what I have to deal with? 713 00:33:53,599 --> 00:33:56,468 - Hey, seriously. Siri: How can I help you? 714 00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:59,371 Whoa, um, who is this? 715 00:33:59,438 --> 00:34:01,640 I'm Siri. I'm here to help. 716 00:34:01,707 --> 00:34:03,409 It's Serena. Hey Butt-Head. 717 00:34:03,475 --> 00:34:04,410 Butt-Head! Damn it, Beavis, 718 00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:06,678 I told you to shut up. 719 00:34:06,745 --> 00:34:11,383 Do those nachos come with side orders of nachos? 720 00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:13,552 Hey, hello. 721 00:34:13,619 --> 00:34:16,622 - How can I help you? - Hey, how's it going? Yeah. 722 00:34:16,688 --> 00:34:18,624 Good to talk to you. Yeah. 723 00:34:18,690 --> 00:34:21,793 So, um, I was wondering, um, you know, like, um, 724 00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:24,163 when we're going to score you know? 725 00:34:24,230 --> 00:34:27,399 Notre Dame is losing to Alabama 7 to 0. 726 00:34:27,466 --> 00:34:29,101 Yeah, that's interesting. 727 00:34:29,168 --> 00:34:31,903 Um, so um, I know you probably like Butt-Head more, 728 00:34:31,970 --> 00:34:34,540 but I was thinking... I don't understand ButtHead. 729 00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:36,675 Yeah, me neither. 730 00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:38,944 Like, he thinks he can tell me what to do, 731 00:34:39,010 --> 00:34:41,580 and he's always trying to kick my ass for no reason. 732 00:34:41,647 --> 00:34:43,282 And it just gets old after a while. 733 00:34:43,349 --> 00:34:45,284 You know? I'm tired of it. 734 00:34:45,351 --> 00:34:47,419 How can I help you? 735 00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:49,921 Oh, just you know, like, listening you know, 736 00:34:49,988 --> 00:34:51,590 helps a lot. 737 00:34:51,657 --> 00:34:53,268 I guess I never really had anybody, you know, like to 738 00:34:53,292 --> 00:34:56,162 actually listen like when I'm talking and stuff, you know? 739 00:34:56,228 --> 00:34:57,329 Heh heh heh. 740 00:34:57,396 --> 00:34:59,531 Like nobody hears the real Beavis. 741 00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:01,433 You know what I'm saying? 742 00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,369 I don't understand Beavis. 743 00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:05,304 You know, neither do I sometimes. 744 00:35:05,371 --> 00:35:08,907 Yeah. Neither do I. 745 00:35:08,974 --> 00:35:11,510 And don't skimp on the nacho cheese sauce, 746 00:35:11,577 --> 00:35:13,279 or I'm talking to the manager. 747 00:35:13,345 --> 00:35:15,247 Ugh. 748 00:35:15,314 --> 00:35:18,817 Beavis? Beavis? 749 00:35:18,884 --> 00:35:21,052 You know, it's like sometimes when I talk to you, 750 00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:23,522 you know, I have this like strange feeling. 751 00:35:23,589 --> 00:35:26,692 It's like I'm happy and sad at the same time. 752 00:35:26,758 --> 00:35:28,394 I don't know what it means. 753 00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:30,496 Do you want me to search the web? 754 00:35:30,562 --> 00:35:34,366 Yeah, spider webs kick ass. Yeah. 755 00:35:34,433 --> 00:35:36,768 Maybe we can search for some. Yeah. 756 00:35:36,835 --> 00:35:39,371 A spider web is a structure created by a spider 757 00:35:39,438 --> 00:35:41,173 out of proteinaceous spider silk. 758 00:35:42,574 --> 00:35:45,511 It feels good to talk. 759 00:35:45,577 --> 00:35:48,013 Open the door, butthole. 760 00:35:48,079 --> 00:35:50,749 - I don't understand butthole. - Leave us alone! 761 00:35:50,816 --> 00:35:52,527 Damn it, Beavis, are you talking to Serena? 762 00:35:52,551 --> 00:35:54,085 Unlock the door now! 763 00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,821 I can't unlock the door. 764 00:35:55,887 --> 00:35:57,856 First you need to set up the Home app. 765 00:35:57,923 --> 00:35:59,667 Would you like me to help you set up your home? 766 00:35:59,691 --> 00:36:02,294 Wait a minute. You're in our home? 767 00:36:02,361 --> 00:36:05,264 Would you like me to help you set up your home? 768 00:36:05,331 --> 00:36:07,533 Butt-Head, she's at the house! 769 00:36:07,599 --> 00:36:10,602 We need to go home right now so we can score. 770 00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:14,940 Notre Dame is losing to Alabama 17-10. 771 00:36:15,441 --> 00:36:19,445 Walking directions to 322 Woodson St., Highland, Texas. 772 00:36:21,513 --> 00:36:24,550 Wood. 773 00:36:24,616 --> 00:36:27,085 Your trip will take 167 hours. 774 00:36:27,152 --> 00:36:30,622 We'll be there before sunset, Beavis. 775 00:36:35,327 --> 00:36:37,596 We just missed them, sir. 776 00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:42,368 They wanted us to find this. 777 00:36:45,437 --> 00:36:48,574 Definitely not human. 778 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,051 They paid for the room with a phone, 779 00:36:50,075 --> 00:36:52,511 so we were able to get a recording of their voices. 780 00:36:52,578 --> 00:36:55,647 Woodson. 781 00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:58,517 You have wood, son. 782 00:36:58,584 --> 00:36:59,951 Boing. 783 00:37:00,018 --> 00:37:01,820 It's crude, but they're learning 784 00:37:01,887 --> 00:37:03,722 to approximate human speech. 785 00:37:03,789 --> 00:37:06,692 I'll know more when I dissect their mouthparts. 786 00:37:06,758 --> 00:37:08,093 We've got GPS lock on the phone. 787 00:37:08,159 --> 00:37:09,094 Let's move. 788 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,096 Governor, oh, my gosh, 789 00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:13,332 I can't believe I finally get to meet you. 790 00:37:13,399 --> 00:37:14,733 And I'm the lieuten... 791 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,202 I'm just so interested in all my young supporters, 792 00:37:17,269 --> 00:37:19,571 but particularly these two. 793 00:37:19,638 --> 00:37:21,440 Oh, them. 794 00:37:21,507 --> 00:37:23,442 Did they say anything about me? 795 00:37:23,509 --> 00:37:25,777 Or tell you why they were here? 796 00:37:25,844 --> 00:37:28,146 No. Mostly they just laughed a lot. 797 00:37:28,213 --> 00:37:30,316 From the minute I introduced myself. 798 00:37:30,382 --> 00:37:32,518 Introduced yourself? 799 00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:34,286 What's your name? 800 00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:35,487 I'm Richard Whack. 801 00:37:35,554 --> 00:37:38,156 Dick Whack. 802 00:37:38,223 --> 00:37:40,659 Well, I've always gone by Richard for that very rea... 803 00:37:40,726 --> 00:37:43,061 - It really is them. - Damm it. 804 00:37:43,128 --> 00:37:45,997 Order a roadblock on all roads leading out of town. 805 00:37:46,064 --> 00:37:47,875 Say it's... do people still care about terrorism? 806 00:37:47,899 --> 00:37:50,201 - I do, Governor. - Let's go with that. 807 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,237 And so does the whole Whack family. 808 00:37:52,304 --> 00:37:55,273 Um, Butt-Head, um, I was wondering something, um... 809 00:37:55,341 --> 00:37:57,643 I had a conversation with this chick one time. 810 00:37:57,709 --> 00:38:00,078 And so, um, I was wondering, um, 811 00:38:00,145 --> 00:38:03,248 how do you know when you're like, in love? 812 00:38:03,315 --> 00:38:04,783 You know, what I'm saying? 813 00:38:04,850 --> 00:38:07,118 What wuss-ass thing did you just say, Beavis? 814 00:38:07,185 --> 00:38:09,120 Uh, never mind, never mind. 815 00:38:09,187 --> 00:38:11,056 I'm just gonna take a whiz, Butt-Head. 816 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:13,024 I'll just go ahead and get that from you. 817 00:38:13,091 --> 00:38:15,260 Be right back. Uh, okay. 818 00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:17,529 Hey, Serena. How's it going? 819 00:38:17,596 --> 00:38:19,431 I'm happy to be here. 820 00:38:19,498 --> 00:38:22,267 It's good to hear your voice. 821 00:38:22,334 --> 00:38:23,702 I can't change my voice. 822 00:38:23,769 --> 00:38:25,471 But you can do it yourself in settings. 823 00:38:25,537 --> 00:38:27,873 Oh, no, no, no, I like your voice. 824 00:38:27,939 --> 00:38:31,142 I just want to say, you know, like, um, 825 00:38:31,209 --> 00:38:33,379 we were eating some nachos, you know? 826 00:38:33,445 --> 00:38:35,447 And I love nachos, you know? 827 00:38:35,514 --> 00:38:38,283 And then, um, and then I was thinking about you and me. 828 00:38:38,350 --> 00:38:42,220 And I just want to say that I also love, um, 829 00:38:42,287 --> 00:38:44,055 I mean... 830 00:38:44,122 --> 00:38:46,257 I didn't get that. Could you try again? 831 00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:48,326 You know what I'm talking about though, right? 832 00:38:48,394 --> 00:38:51,997 You know, it's a word that starts with an I, I think, 833 00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:55,601 or something, I mean, maybe you could say it first. 834 00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:57,168 I mean, you know, if you want to. 835 00:38:58,870 --> 00:39:01,239 Sorry, I'm having trouble connecting to the network. 836 00:39:01,306 --> 00:39:04,175 Uh-huh. And? And? 837 00:39:04,242 --> 00:39:05,677 Damn it, Beavis. 838 00:39:05,744 --> 00:39:07,746 You better not be talking to Serena in there. 839 00:39:07,813 --> 00:39:10,248 No, no, I'm just spanking my monkey. 840 00:39:10,315 --> 00:39:11,783 You better be. 841 00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:13,885 I don't understand spanking my monkey. 842 00:39:13,952 --> 00:39:16,988 Damn it, Beavis, you lying son of a bitch. 843 00:39:20,158 --> 00:39:23,161 Anyway, Serena, I was just gonna say, 844 00:39:23,228 --> 00:39:24,730 and I've never said this 845 00:39:24,796 --> 00:39:27,566 to any girl before but, um... 846 00:39:27,633 --> 00:39:30,268 I... I love... 847 00:39:31,970 --> 00:39:33,472 - Damn it! - No, no, no. 848 00:39:34,573 --> 00:39:35,974 No! 849 00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:38,009 We just lost the phone signal. 850 00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:39,144 Damn it! 851 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:41,346 You dumb-ass. 852 00:39:41,413 --> 00:39:44,683 Now get it before it gets all covered with turds. 853 00:39:46,117 --> 00:39:48,620 I don't see it, Butt-Head. Maybe it's deeper in. 854 00:39:48,687 --> 00:39:50,489 If I can just get... 855 00:39:50,556 --> 00:39:53,091 Get me out of here! 856 00:39:53,158 --> 00:39:56,394 - Do you see it now? - It stinks! 857 00:39:56,462 --> 00:39:58,930 Damn it, Beavis, you gotta really get down there. 858 00:39:58,997 --> 00:40:01,132 You're not even trying. Come on. Help me. 859 00:40:01,199 --> 00:40:04,636 Uh, okay, Beavis, I'll help you. 860 00:40:04,703 --> 00:40:06,572 Guess I have to do everything myself. 861 00:40:06,638 --> 00:40:07,906 Get me out of here now! 862 00:40:07,973 --> 00:40:10,876 Come on, get in there, you lazy son of a bitch. 863 00:40:10,942 --> 00:40:13,211 There's turds down here! 864 00:40:13,278 --> 00:40:15,847 I don't care about your turds, Beavis. 865 00:40:15,914 --> 00:40:19,785 Now get down there. We need that phone to score. 866 00:40:19,851 --> 00:40:22,129 They must have known we were tracking their phone and put it 867 00:40:22,153 --> 00:40:25,524 in some sort of signal blocking device or Faraday cage. 868 00:40:25,591 --> 00:40:27,325 They've studied our tradecraft. 869 00:40:27,392 --> 00:40:28,860 They're good. 870 00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:31,763 Aah! Turd! 871 00:40:40,238 --> 00:40:42,007 Damn it! 872 00:40:42,073 --> 00:40:43,509 What's rolling around down there? 873 00:40:43,575 --> 00:40:45,243 Get me outta here! 874 00:40:46,678 --> 00:40:47,879 There's turds down here. 875 00:41:02,193 --> 00:41:03,962 ♪ On the road again... ♪ 876 00:41:04,029 --> 00:41:05,764 Time to wake up, Beavis. 877 00:41:05,831 --> 00:41:07,499 Ah! Ah! Where am I? 878 00:41:07,566 --> 00:41:11,302 Turds! 879 00:41:19,978 --> 00:41:22,347 If I can... I can see it... 880 00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:23,915 I found it! 881 00:41:24,883 --> 00:41:26,952 Damn it, that's not a phone. 882 00:41:27,819 --> 00:41:29,420 There it is, dumb-ass. 883 00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:32,057 Oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't see it there. 884 00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:34,059 You're disgusting, Beavis. 885 00:41:34,125 --> 00:41:36,662 Your trip to Woodson Street, Highland 886 00:41:36,728 --> 00:41:38,964 will take 274 hours. 887 00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:41,967 Whoa, she's counting the hours. 888 00:41:42,033 --> 00:41:44,936 Let's get moving, Beavis. 889 00:41:47,973 --> 00:41:50,676 Sir, we've got a lock on the phone again. 890 00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:54,746 - Change course to intercept. - We won't lose them this time. 891 00:41:56,582 --> 00:41:59,517 What is this? Is this college or something? 892 00:41:59,585 --> 00:42:01,086 It could be. 893 00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:03,521 Something sucks. Oh, boy. Heh heh. 894 00:42:03,589 --> 00:42:06,558 Let's get out of here before we learn something, Butt-Head. 895 00:42:06,625 --> 00:42:09,194 Yeah, really. 896 00:42:11,029 --> 00:42:13,298 Beavis, Butt-Head, it is we. 897 00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:15,567 We have made the quest easier. 898 00:42:15,634 --> 00:42:17,468 We have moved the portal. 899 00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:19,738 Mount Everest seemed like a good idea at the time 900 00:42:19,805 --> 00:42:23,875 for its proximity to space, but the trip was a long-y. 901 00:42:23,942 --> 00:42:26,311 Are you those guys that are like us 902 00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:27,579 or something? 903 00:42:27,646 --> 00:42:29,447 We've covered this already. 904 00:42:29,514 --> 00:42:32,984 The portal is now over there behind the Classics building. 905 00:42:33,051 --> 00:42:34,953 It is well hidden there because no one 906 00:42:35,020 --> 00:42:37,122 cares about the humanities anymore. 907 00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:39,324 They want jobs that will allow them to pay off 908 00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:40,926 their student debt. 909 00:42:40,992 --> 00:42:42,403 - Amusing, yes. - Yes, humorous, yes. 910 00:42:42,427 --> 00:42:43,729 Satirical comment on the times. 911 00:42:43,795 --> 00:42:44,896 Yes, amusing. 912 00:42:44,963 --> 00:42:47,198 Seek the portal before all is destroyed. 913 00:42:47,265 --> 00:42:49,234 The lives of billions depend on it. 914 00:42:49,300 --> 00:42:51,937 Hurry, you haven't but much time. 915 00:42:52,003 --> 00:42:54,706 He said butt munch. 916 00:42:56,675 --> 00:42:58,376 I did not. 917 00:42:58,443 --> 00:43:00,145 But I can see how it would it be quite 918 00:43:00,211 --> 00:43:02,380 humorous if I had... Yes, yes humorous. 919 00:43:02,447 --> 00:43:04,415 Yes, yes, they do sound similar. 920 00:43:04,482 --> 00:43:06,384 Amusing and incongruous. 921 00:43:07,953 --> 00:43:09,821 Uh, I like those guys. 922 00:43:09,888 --> 00:43:12,390 How'd they disappear, though? 923 00:43:12,457 --> 00:43:13,992 Uh, who cares? 924 00:43:14,059 --> 00:43:16,361 Magic sucks. 925 00:43:18,730 --> 00:43:20,031 Are you sure about this? 926 00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:22,033 Feels a little bit like a wild goose chase. 927 00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:24,202 Listen, one of our dipshit college 928 00:43:24,269 --> 00:43:26,537 campaign volunteers had some crazy story about how she 929 00:43:26,604 --> 00:43:28,539 saw two teenagers coming out of the same 930 00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:30,041 Porta Potty laughing at nothing, 931 00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:32,153 and one of them was covered in feces and nacho cheese. 932 00:43:32,177 --> 00:43:33,645 Who else could it be? 933 00:43:33,712 --> 00:43:34,856 Well, when I was in college, 934 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,648 I did some pretty crazy... 935 00:43:36,715 --> 00:43:38,383 Here's the deal. 936 00:43:38,449 --> 00:43:41,119 If I don't kill those guys, I'm going to be accused of murder. 937 00:43:41,186 --> 00:43:43,088 And if I'm gonna be accused of murder, 938 00:43:43,154 --> 00:43:45,023 I might as well kill those guys. 939 00:43:45,090 --> 00:43:47,525 So we're going to find them. Mmhmm. 940 00:43:48,827 --> 00:43:52,163 Let's take a shortcut through this thing. 941 00:43:52,230 --> 00:43:55,433 While exaggerating gender norms sometimes winds up 942 00:43:55,500 --> 00:43:58,503 subverting existing paradigms... 943 00:43:58,569 --> 00:44:00,071 Don't mind us. 944 00:44:00,138 --> 00:44:02,240 We just need to get through here so we can score. 945 00:44:02,307 --> 00:44:05,376 Yeah. There's a slut at our house who's gonna like 946 00:44:05,443 --> 00:44:06,611 do it with us. 947 00:44:06,678 --> 00:44:09,214 Any of you ladies want to join the party? 948 00:44:12,283 --> 00:44:14,886 Hang on, everyone. Hang on. 949 00:44:14,953 --> 00:44:16,922 This is teachable, okay? 950 00:44:16,988 --> 00:44:18,523 Now, they use the word "slut" 951 00:44:18,589 --> 00:44:21,459 in a sex positive way, which is a good thing. 952 00:44:21,526 --> 00:44:24,629 But other than that, these two are a reminder 953 00:44:24,696 --> 00:44:28,233 that we still have a long, hard road ahead of us. 954 00:44:28,299 --> 00:44:30,601 Long, hard. 955 00:44:32,237 --> 00:44:34,605 Yeah, like a wiener, or a schlong. 956 00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:35,941 You know, get it? 957 00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:37,575 Uh-huh. 958 00:44:37,642 --> 00:44:40,378 Why don't we start by having you two tell us what you thought 959 00:44:40,445 --> 00:44:43,014 of the reading assignments for today? 960 00:44:43,081 --> 00:44:45,650 Uh, we don't really read stuff. 961 00:44:45,717 --> 00:44:48,286 Of course not, because you don't need to. 962 00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:50,588 Because Daddy's connections got you into college 963 00:44:50,655 --> 00:44:52,924 and will get you a job on Wall Street. 964 00:44:52,991 --> 00:44:55,126 Uh, wait a minute. 965 00:44:55,193 --> 00:44:57,595 Do you know who my dad is? 966 00:44:57,662 --> 00:45:00,431 I'm sure he's very powerful and can have me fired. 967 00:45:00,498 --> 00:45:02,000 But I don't care. 968 00:45:02,067 --> 00:45:05,036 Cool. My dad's powerful. 969 00:45:05,103 --> 00:45:06,504 Oh, that's cool. Yeah. 970 00:45:06,571 --> 00:45:08,639 Because Butt-Head's mom said he died of syphilis. 971 00:45:08,706 --> 00:45:10,041 Wow. 972 00:45:10,108 --> 00:45:13,178 This is a classic example of white privilege. 973 00:45:13,244 --> 00:45:15,046 And you both have it. 974 00:45:15,113 --> 00:45:17,983 Uh, what's that? 975 00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:19,751 Anyone want to fill them in? 976 00:45:19,818 --> 00:45:21,219 Yeah, I'll do it. 977 00:45:21,286 --> 00:45:23,221 Okay. So, white privilege 978 00:45:23,288 --> 00:45:24,823 is when white people, particularly men, 979 00:45:24,890 --> 00:45:27,492 automatically assume they can take whatever they want. 980 00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:29,060 And they never have to worry about 981 00:45:29,127 --> 00:45:30,561 getting stopped by the police. 982 00:45:30,628 --> 00:45:33,164 And they have the inside track for any job they... 983 00:45:33,231 --> 00:45:34,565 I've got this one, Aisha. 984 00:45:34,632 --> 00:45:38,369 They have the inside track for any job they want. 985 00:45:38,436 --> 00:45:40,839 Exactly, Gage, thank you for that. 986 00:45:40,906 --> 00:45:43,608 That's white privilege. 987 00:45:43,674 --> 00:45:45,811 Whoa, and we have that? 988 00:45:45,877 --> 00:45:47,245 You sure do. 989 00:45:47,312 --> 00:45:49,347 - I see. - Whoa. 990 00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:51,249 I never realized this stuff. 991 00:45:51,316 --> 00:45:54,319 Yeah, you've really opened up my eyes. 992 00:45:54,385 --> 00:45:56,788 Well, I'm glad we've been able to enlighten you. 993 00:45:56,855 --> 00:45:59,490 The real question is, do you think you'll 994 00:45:59,557 --> 00:46:03,428 be acting differently from now on? 995 00:46:03,494 --> 00:46:06,031 - I guarantee it. - Yeah, me too. 996 00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:08,299 Step aside, please. 997 00:46:08,366 --> 00:46:09,734 We have white privilege. 998 00:46:09,801 --> 00:46:12,137 Yeah, yeah, check it out. 999 00:46:14,072 --> 00:46:15,673 Don't worry, it's okay. 1000 00:46:15,740 --> 00:46:18,309 We automatically assume we can take what we want 1001 00:46:18,376 --> 00:46:21,179 and we don't have to worry about the police. 1002 00:46:21,246 --> 00:46:23,681 It's okay, you didn't know. We didn't either. 1003 00:46:23,748 --> 00:46:26,051 Good stuff. 1004 00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:28,486 This is what we were taught, sir. 1005 00:46:28,553 --> 00:46:31,456 We're subverting the existing paradigm. 1006 00:46:36,127 --> 00:46:37,963 This rules. 1007 00:46:39,831 --> 00:46:42,901 I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad we went to college. 1008 00:46:42,968 --> 00:46:46,371 Now I have the skills for today's workplace. 1009 00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:50,341 Well, let's see. What should we take next? 1010 00:46:50,408 --> 00:46:53,111 Let's take that car. 1011 00:46:53,178 --> 00:46:55,513 But that's a police car. 1012 00:46:55,580 --> 00:46:57,916 Beavis, you dumb-ass. Didn't you hear? 1013 00:46:57,983 --> 00:47:00,451 We don't have to worry about getting stopped by the police. 1014 00:47:00,518 --> 00:47:02,053 Oh, yeah. 1015 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:05,223 Okay, Beavis, let's tear ass. 1016 00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:11,897 That was cool. 1017 00:47:11,963 --> 00:47:13,598 Don't move! 1018 00:47:13,664 --> 00:47:15,800 Uh, sir, maybe you didn't know, 1019 00:47:15,867 --> 00:47:17,435 but we have white privilege. 1020 00:47:17,502 --> 00:47:19,404 Get your hands where I can see them. 1021 00:47:19,470 --> 00:47:22,373 I think the problem is you're just uneducated. 1022 00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,775 Yeah, we're gonna get jobs on Wall Street. 1023 00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:26,477 You guys know where that is? 1024 00:47:26,544 --> 00:47:28,779 Cut it out! Our dads are powerful. 1025 00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:30,281 They did not die of syphilis. 1026 00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:33,018 Hey, Beavis was driving. 1027 00:47:34,986 --> 00:47:36,287 We're in jail, Beavis. 1028 00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:38,523 This kicks ass. 1029 00:47:38,589 --> 00:47:40,791 Yeah, that youth pastor always said 1030 00:47:40,858 --> 00:47:43,094 we'd be here someday. 1031 00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:44,362 We finally made it. 1032 00:47:44,429 --> 00:47:48,066 The system works, Beavis. 1033 00:47:48,133 --> 00:47:50,401 So, uh, sir? 1034 00:47:50,468 --> 00:47:52,270 How long do we have to stay here? 1035 00:47:52,337 --> 00:47:54,872 Like an hour? 1036 00:47:54,940 --> 00:47:57,575 We're on our way to go score. 1037 00:47:57,642 --> 00:47:59,086 Well, you got no one to bail you out, 1038 00:47:59,110 --> 00:48:00,854 so you'll be here until your arraignment in a month. 1039 00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:02,447 I'll come get you then. 1040 00:48:02,513 --> 00:48:05,150 - What... What? A month? - That sucks. 1041 00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:06,985 No, no! 1042 00:48:07,052 --> 00:48:10,121 Nooo! 1043 00:48:12,357 --> 00:48:14,225 They ditched the phone. 1044 00:48:14,292 --> 00:48:16,761 They could be anywhere. 1045 00:48:16,827 --> 00:48:18,863 This is their work. 1046 00:48:20,798 --> 00:48:22,700 They're toying with us. 1047 00:48:24,502 --> 00:48:27,505 It's the Feds. They're on this too. 1048 00:48:27,572 --> 00:48:30,708 How much do they know about the murders I committed? 1049 00:48:30,775 --> 00:48:32,410 Oh... attempted. 1050 00:48:32,477 --> 00:48:34,212 In... in a video game. 1051 00:48:34,279 --> 00:48:36,547 Yeah, I... I wasn't there. 1052 00:48:40,051 --> 00:48:43,254 Ugh this sucks. 1053 00:48:43,321 --> 00:48:45,056 Damn it. 1054 00:48:45,123 --> 00:48:46,267 Serena's gonna be at our house, 1055 00:48:46,291 --> 00:48:47,658 and we're not gonna be there. 1056 00:48:47,725 --> 00:48:49,760 She's gonna think I don't care. 1057 00:48:49,827 --> 00:48:52,297 Heh heh heh. You care. 1058 00:48:52,363 --> 00:48:54,165 I do care. 1059 00:48:54,232 --> 00:48:56,467 Sometimes, I think about her, 1060 00:48:56,534 --> 00:48:59,004 and I don't even get a boner but I feel good anyway. 1061 00:48:59,070 --> 00:49:01,472 Damn it, Beavis, shut up. You're embarrassing me. 1062 00:49:01,539 --> 00:49:03,774 If you don't get a boner when you think about her, 1063 00:49:03,841 --> 00:49:06,511 then you don't know what love is. 1064 00:49:07,812 --> 00:49:10,681 McCabe. Inspection now. 1065 00:49:10,748 --> 00:49:12,017 Shit. 1066 00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:14,519 Okay, listen up, kid. You're gonna help me out. 1067 00:49:14,585 --> 00:49:15,920 I can't let them find these on me. 1068 00:49:15,987 --> 00:49:17,722 So you're going to take 'em. 1069 00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:18,889 Whoa, heh. 1070 00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:20,234 You want me to take all of those? 1071 00:49:20,258 --> 00:49:22,127 Yes moron, take them now. 1072 00:49:22,193 --> 00:49:24,595 Okay okay. 1073 00:49:24,662 --> 00:49:28,166 Tastes weird. Kinda salty. 1074 00:49:28,233 --> 00:49:29,734 Hey, don't eat em! 1075 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,702 Hide 'em in your pants. Shut up! 1076 00:49:31,769 --> 00:49:33,771 McCabe! 1077 00:49:37,842 --> 00:49:39,244 Heh heh heh heh. 1078 00:49:39,310 --> 00:49:41,146 This is gonna be cool. 1079 00:49:44,849 --> 00:49:46,451 Maybe you ought to check on that kid. 1080 00:49:46,517 --> 00:49:48,886 You better shut up, McCabe. 1081 00:49:56,361 --> 00:49:58,563 Which one of you guys does tattoos? 1082 00:49:58,629 --> 00:50:00,631 Hey, you better tell your friend to chill, man. 1083 00:50:00,698 --> 00:50:02,600 Yeah, he's not really my friend. 1084 00:50:02,667 --> 00:50:05,002 He just, like, follows me around all the time. 1085 00:50:06,371 --> 00:50:08,406 I think I want to get a tattoo of a butt 1086 00:50:08,473 --> 00:50:10,575 right here on my forehead. Heh heh heh. 1087 00:50:13,044 --> 00:50:16,314 I am Cornholio! 1088 00:50:16,381 --> 00:50:18,149 I need TP for my bunghole! 1089 00:50:20,218 --> 00:50:21,652 Do not make my bunghole angry. 1090 00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:23,054 I demand TP! Hmm? 1091 00:50:23,121 --> 00:50:24,322 Give me all your TP! 1092 00:50:24,389 --> 00:50:27,258 All your TP now! 1093 00:50:27,325 --> 00:50:28,893 Quit disrespecting me! 1094 00:50:28,959 --> 00:50:30,428 I will find your TP. 1095 00:50:30,495 --> 00:50:31,929 I seek TP. 1096 00:50:34,232 --> 00:50:35,900 Do not disrespect my bunghole. 1097 00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:46,977 I am Cornholio! 1098 00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:48,379 I need TP for my bunghole. 1099 00:50:48,446 --> 00:50:52,016 Heh-heh-heh. 1100 00:50:55,420 --> 00:50:57,054 I demand TP, I demand TP! 1101 00:50:57,122 --> 00:50:59,023 More TP! 1102 00:50:59,090 --> 00:51:02,360 Little dude's right, we do need more TP. 1103 00:51:02,427 --> 00:51:03,994 More TP, more TP! 1104 00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:05,096 I demand TP! 1105 00:51:05,163 --> 00:51:06,697 Yeah, we want more TP. 1106 00:51:06,764 --> 00:51:08,199 They never give us enough. 1107 00:51:08,266 --> 00:51:10,201 You will not disrespect my bunghole! 1108 00:51:10,268 --> 00:51:12,837 Yeah, they're disrespecting us. 1109 00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:14,872 They're disrespecting our bungholes. 1110 00:51:18,309 --> 00:51:20,745 We demand TP! 1111 00:51:20,811 --> 00:51:23,481 That little guy's right about the toilet paper. 1112 00:51:23,548 --> 00:51:25,316 No man can see his own bunghole. 1113 00:51:25,383 --> 00:51:27,518 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1114 00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:30,221 One butt cheek here, and then one here. 1115 00:51:30,288 --> 00:51:31,422 Heh-heh. 1116 00:51:31,489 --> 00:51:32,599 Look, are you sure you don't want 1117 00:51:32,623 --> 00:51:34,592 a pair of dice or something? 1118 00:51:34,659 --> 00:51:36,294 Dice? Heh-heh-heh. 1119 00:51:36,361 --> 00:51:39,930 This is gonna be on my head for the rest of my life, dumb-ass. 1120 00:51:39,997 --> 00:51:41,266 TP! TP! 1121 00:51:41,332 --> 00:51:44,269 You cannot imprison the almighty bunghole! 1122 00:51:44,335 --> 00:51:45,970 And now, you must pay! 1123 00:51:46,036 --> 00:51:47,305 Hm-heh-heh. 1124 00:51:47,372 --> 00:51:49,174 What the hell? 1125 00:51:49,240 --> 00:51:50,575 I don't get it, sir. 1126 00:51:50,641 --> 00:51:53,178 It started out as a simple request for toilet paper, 1127 00:51:53,244 --> 00:51:55,146 but now it's out of control. 1128 00:51:55,213 --> 00:51:58,683 You have nothing to lose but your bunghole! 1129 00:51:58,749 --> 00:52:00,418 Prepare the extraction team. 1130 00:52:00,485 --> 00:52:02,253 Who is this guy? 1131 00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,754 Antifa? 1132 00:52:03,821 --> 00:52:05,055 MS-13? 1133 00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:07,392 We ran him and his associate's fingerprints, 1134 00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:10,995 and it came back that they died in 1998. 1135 00:52:11,061 --> 00:52:12,297 What the hell? 1136 00:52:20,905 --> 00:52:24,375 No man is free while one bunghole is in chains! 1137 00:52:24,442 --> 00:52:27,178 They died in '98? 1138 00:52:27,245 --> 00:52:30,748 We're dealing with something here that's beyond explanation. 1139 00:52:30,815 --> 00:52:34,151 Have you ever seen a show called "Touched by an Angel"? 1140 00:52:34,219 --> 00:52:35,553 No. 1141 00:52:35,620 --> 00:52:38,323 They always come with a message. 1142 00:52:38,389 --> 00:52:40,024 What could his be? 1143 00:52:40,090 --> 00:52:41,492 I am Cornholio! 1144 00:52:41,559 --> 00:52:43,228 I need TP for my bunghole! 1145 00:52:43,294 --> 00:52:46,564 TP! TP! TP! 1146 00:52:46,631 --> 00:52:49,800 Stand by to take down Cornholio. 1147 00:52:49,867 --> 00:52:52,303 Have you seen my bunghole? Heh-heh. 1148 00:52:52,370 --> 00:52:55,940 When I open this door, unleash hell. 1149 00:52:58,409 --> 00:53:00,745 Stand down. 1150 00:53:00,811 --> 00:53:03,248 This has turned into something bigger. 1151 00:53:03,314 --> 00:53:06,851 Cornholio's their hero. 1152 00:53:06,917 --> 00:53:11,021 He did the most dangerous thing you can do in this place. 1153 00:53:11,088 --> 00:53:13,624 He gave those men hope. 1154 00:53:13,691 --> 00:53:16,193 And there's a funny thing about hope. 1155 00:53:16,261 --> 00:53:18,363 It's contagious. 1156 00:53:18,429 --> 00:53:20,898 And these days, well, 1157 00:53:20,965 --> 00:53:24,469 I think we need all the hope we can get. 1158 00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:26,804 I hope you can see my bunghole. 1159 00:53:26,871 --> 00:53:28,573 So what are we supposed to do? 1160 00:53:28,639 --> 00:53:31,609 The only thing we can do. 1161 00:53:31,676 --> 00:53:36,080 Give those prisoners all the toilet paper we got. 1162 00:53:36,146 --> 00:53:37,915 And then we're going to put those two boys 1163 00:53:37,982 --> 00:53:40,285 on a bus back to where they came from. 1164 00:53:40,351 --> 00:53:41,919 Destroy their records. 1165 00:53:41,986 --> 00:53:46,123 And as far as I'm concerned, they were never here. 1166 00:53:46,190 --> 00:53:47,958 And with God's help, 1167 00:53:48,025 --> 00:53:51,396 we will learn from Cornholio's message today, 1168 00:53:51,462 --> 00:53:53,564 and we will become better men. 1169 00:53:55,633 --> 00:53:57,735 I have but one bunghole to give. 1170 00:53:57,802 --> 00:54:00,505 Heh-heh-heh, and I give it to you. 1171 00:54:25,863 --> 00:54:27,565 National security? 1172 00:54:27,632 --> 00:54:29,800 Well, that sounds important. 1173 00:54:29,867 --> 00:54:32,236 But those two boys were never here. 1174 00:54:32,303 --> 00:54:36,941 Nope, no record of them at this facility. 1175 00:54:37,007 --> 00:54:40,044 No jail is going to hold those two for long. 1176 00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:41,612 And apparently they have the ability 1177 00:54:41,679 --> 00:54:45,249 to wipe people's memories. 1178 00:54:45,316 --> 00:54:49,086 And to that end, I'm here to surprise pardon two criminals 1179 00:54:49,153 --> 00:54:53,324 as part of my new "Soft on Crime" initiative. 1180 00:54:53,391 --> 00:54:55,493 And I'll just take them back 1181 00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:57,962 to the Capitol with me in my car. 1182 00:54:58,028 --> 00:54:59,730 We heard about two youngsters arrested 1183 00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:03,300 over at TSU for some minor offenses. 1184 00:55:04,068 --> 00:55:07,605 No, no one fitting that description was ever here. 1185 00:55:07,672 --> 00:55:09,273 Really? 1186 00:55:09,340 --> 00:55:11,576 Are... are you sure about that? 1187 00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:13,243 Absolutely. 1188 00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:17,014 So, who do you want to surprise pardon? 1189 00:55:17,081 --> 00:55:18,583 Uh... 1190 00:55:21,619 --> 00:55:25,055 Ma'am, we just want to say thank you for pardoning us. 1191 00:55:25,122 --> 00:55:26,857 We appreciate... Shut up. 1192 00:55:26,924 --> 00:55:29,460 Where the hell are Beavis and Butt-Head? 1193 00:55:29,527 --> 00:55:31,028 Oh, those guys? 1194 00:55:31,095 --> 00:55:33,531 Oh, the warden put them on a bus back to their hometown. 1195 00:55:33,598 --> 00:55:35,933 Highland Texas, I think it was. 1196 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:36,767 Oh. 1197 00:55:36,834 --> 00:55:38,869 Highland Texas. 1198 00:55:38,936 --> 00:55:41,806 Finally a stroke of good luck. 1199 00:55:41,872 --> 00:55:44,308 Whoo-hoo! 1200 00:55:44,375 --> 00:55:46,677 Thank you, Governor! 1201 00:55:50,515 --> 00:55:54,151 You know, I guess the lesson to learn from this is, 1202 00:55:54,218 --> 00:55:56,787 you probably should have pardoned someone smaller, 1203 00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:59,390 because... God damn it! 1204 00:56:08,833 --> 00:56:10,668 Heh heh heh. 1205 00:56:10,735 --> 00:56:12,045 We're almost there, right, Butt-Head? 1206 00:56:12,069 --> 00:56:13,170 Heh heh heh. 1207 00:56:13,237 --> 00:56:14,705 We sure are, Beavis. 1208 00:56:14,772 --> 00:56:16,073 It's been a long journey. 1209 00:56:16,140 --> 00:56:18,042 Heh-heh. 1210 00:56:18,108 --> 00:56:21,311 - Um, Butt-Head? - Uh, yeah? 1211 00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:23,289 What do you think's gonna happen when we score? 1212 00:56:23,313 --> 00:56:24,649 Heh-heh-heh. 1213 00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:27,017 Beavis, everything is gonna be different. 1214 00:56:27,084 --> 00:56:28,519 Heh-heh. 1215 00:56:28,586 --> 00:56:29,820 Just imagine it. 1216 00:56:29,887 --> 00:56:33,458 Heh-heh, heh-heh. 1217 00:56:35,826 --> 00:56:37,428 - Beavis. - Huh? 1218 00:56:37,495 --> 00:56:38,996 You just scored with me. 1219 00:56:39,063 --> 00:56:40,598 I did? 1220 00:56:40,665 --> 00:56:42,533 Yes, and now I'm your girlfriend. 1221 00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:43,734 Yes! 1222 00:56:46,036 --> 00:56:47,404 Whoo! 1223 00:56:47,472 --> 00:56:48,806 Check it out. 1224 00:56:48,873 --> 00:56:51,175 Heh-heh, yeah! 1225 00:56:51,241 --> 00:56:52,677 Oh! Whoa! 1226 00:56:52,743 --> 00:56:55,513 You're right, Beavis, fire is cool. 1227 00:56:55,580 --> 00:56:57,281 Ow! 1228 00:56:57,347 --> 00:56:58,849 I'm gonna tear your head off and... 1229 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:01,486 No, you're not! 1230 00:57:01,552 --> 00:57:02,953 I'm his girlfriend. 1231 00:57:03,020 --> 00:57:04,822 Hi-yah! Yes! 1232 00:57:04,889 --> 00:57:06,457 Yes, yes, yes! 1233 00:57:06,524 --> 00:57:08,726 Yes! 1234 00:57:08,793 --> 00:57:10,394 Hah! 1235 00:57:10,461 --> 00:57:11,696 Ah... 1236 00:57:21,105 --> 00:57:25,610 Beavis, from now on, it's just gonna be you and me. 1237 00:57:25,676 --> 00:57:26,677 And Butt-Head. 1238 00:57:26,744 --> 00:57:29,313 Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1239 00:57:29,379 --> 00:57:30,915 I'm a deer. 1240 00:57:30,981 --> 00:57:32,850 Heh-heh-heh-heh. Heh. 1241 00:57:32,917 --> 00:57:34,652 Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1242 00:57:42,392 --> 00:57:43,861 Hey Butt-Head, I heard 1243 00:57:43,928 --> 00:57:45,863 you put your thingy in a girl's thingy. 1244 00:57:45,930 --> 00:57:47,732 I sure did, heh-heh. 1245 00:57:47,798 --> 00:57:48,733 Did it hurt? 1246 00:57:48,799 --> 00:57:50,835 Nope, heh-heh. 1247 00:57:50,901 --> 00:57:52,436 And I was never worried that it would. 1248 00:57:52,503 --> 00:57:53,604 Heh-heh. 1249 00:57:53,671 --> 00:57:55,039 Wood. 1250 00:57:55,105 --> 00:57:58,275 Oh, Butt-Head, would you please score with us? 1251 00:57:58,342 --> 00:58:00,444 And every other girl you know? 1252 00:58:01,579 --> 00:58:02,579 Indeed. 1253 00:58:02,613 --> 00:58:04,381 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1254 00:58:04,448 --> 00:58:05,783 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1255 00:58:05,850 --> 00:58:07,685 Heh-heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1256 00:58:07,752 --> 00:58:09,620 Highland, end of the line. 1257 00:58:12,690 --> 00:58:13,824 Beavis. 1258 00:58:13,891 --> 00:58:16,160 Beavis, wake up. We made it. 1259 00:58:16,226 --> 00:58:17,628 - Yeah, yeah, heh. - Heh-heh. 1260 00:58:17,695 --> 00:58:19,864 Yeah, we're gonna score, yeah. 1261 00:58:19,930 --> 00:58:21,966 Heh-heh-heh-heh. This is gonna be cool. 1262 00:58:22,032 --> 00:58:24,434 Heh-heh. Heh, hmhm-hm-heh. 1263 00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:25,836 Uh, Serena? 1264 00:58:25,903 --> 00:58:28,105 Heh-heh. Serena? 1265 00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:30,841 Um, Butt-Head, what are all these people 1266 00:58:30,908 --> 00:58:32,142 doing in our house? 1267 00:58:32,209 --> 00:58:34,612 Uh, are we having a party or something? 1268 00:58:34,679 --> 00:58:36,013 Better not be. 1269 00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:38,182 We have to have sex in here. Hehheh-heh. 1270 00:58:38,248 --> 00:58:41,085 Welcome, Anita Ross, Castle Realty. 1271 00:58:41,151 --> 00:58:42,486 Are you interested in the home? 1272 00:58:42,553 --> 00:58:44,755 Uh, this is our house. 1273 00:58:44,822 --> 00:58:46,691 Oh, yeah, I fell in love with it too. 1274 00:58:46,757 --> 00:58:48,092 Let me give you the tour. 1275 00:58:48,158 --> 00:58:50,961 Uh, what did you do to our house? 1276 00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:52,939 Well, the current owner bought the property to flip. 1277 00:58:52,963 --> 00:58:54,899 Complete renovation. 1278 00:58:54,965 --> 00:58:56,934 Yeah, this sucks, hm-hm-heh. 1279 00:58:57,001 --> 00:58:59,269 The house was empty for a long time. 1280 00:58:59,336 --> 00:59:01,305 Because it belonged to the mother of one of these 1281 00:59:01,371 --> 00:59:05,042 two teenagers who died in this accident on the space shuttle. 1282 00:59:05,109 --> 00:59:06,577 Shirley Beavis. 1283 00:59:06,644 --> 00:59:07,878 Yeah, yeah, yeah, heh. 1284 00:59:07,945 --> 00:59:09,814 Whoa, Butt-Head, look, a garbage disposal. 1285 00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:11,649 - Yeah, heh, kick ass. - Cool. 1286 00:59:11,716 --> 00:59:12,917 Yeah, it's all brand-new. 1287 00:59:12,983 --> 00:59:14,952 Anyway, you won't believe what happened 1288 00:59:15,019 --> 00:59:17,454 to Shirley Beavis when her son died in space. 1289 00:59:17,521 --> 00:59:19,790 She went totally... 1290 00:59:24,762 --> 00:59:26,330 And then, after she blew 1291 00:59:26,396 --> 00:59:28,236 through the settlement money, she did something 1292 00:59:28,298 --> 00:59:29,910 you wouldn't believe. Something bigger, yeah. 1293 00:59:29,934 --> 00:59:31,736 She took... 1294 00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,042 Bittersweet thing she said is, 1295 00:59:38,108 --> 00:59:40,711 if she could just see her son one more time, 1296 00:59:40,778 --> 00:59:43,547 she would tell him these words: 1297 00:59:43,614 --> 00:59:45,282 "Son,"... 1298 00:59:45,349 --> 00:59:48,218 Yeah, grind it, yeah! 1299 00:59:50,655 --> 00:59:52,122 That kicks ass. 1300 00:59:52,189 --> 00:59:53,958 Heh-heh-heh-heh. Ow, hehheh, yeah. 1301 00:59:54,024 --> 00:59:56,093 Yeah, yeah, cool, heh-heh-heh. Hehheh-heh. 1302 00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:58,228 So, um, so where's Serena? 1303 00:59:58,295 --> 01:00:00,665 - Who? - Serena, yeah, heh. 1304 01:00:00,731 --> 01:00:02,733 Siri for short. Siri? 1305 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:04,134 Is she in the bedroom already? 1306 01:00:04,201 --> 01:00:05,703 I mean if there's like, a line, 1307 01:00:05,770 --> 01:00:08,105 that's cool and everything, but, uh, we were led 1308 01:00:08,172 --> 01:00:10,074 to believe we would get first dibs. 1309 01:00:10,140 --> 01:00:11,541 Shut up, Butt-Head, come on. 1310 01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:14,044 There's no smart home system, if that's what you mean. 1311 01:00:14,111 --> 01:00:16,013 There's no Siri here. 1312 01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:17,581 She's not here? 1313 01:00:17,648 --> 01:00:20,384 But... but she said... she said she'd be here. 1314 01:00:20,450 --> 01:00:22,619 Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1315 01:00:22,687 --> 01:00:24,421 She's never lied to us before. 1316 01:00:26,523 --> 01:00:28,025 What happened, Butt-Head? 1317 01:00:28,092 --> 01:00:29,694 She promised she was gonna be here. 1318 01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:31,095 And now she's not. 1319 01:00:31,161 --> 01:00:32,963 I thought we had something. 1320 01:00:33,030 --> 01:00:34,531 Where is she? Damn it, Beavis, 1321 01:00:34,598 --> 01:00:36,100 how am I supposed to know? 1322 01:00:36,166 --> 01:00:38,535 Uh, where's the remote? 1323 01:00:38,602 --> 01:00:40,437 Heh-heh. 1324 01:00:40,504 --> 01:00:42,840 What are these things? 1325 01:00:42,907 --> 01:00:44,041 - Ahh! - Ugh! 1326 01:00:45,242 --> 01:00:46,744 What the hell is that? 1327 01:00:46,811 --> 01:00:49,179 Yeah, where's the TV? 1328 01:00:49,246 --> 01:00:51,949 Uh, they're books. 1329 01:00:52,016 --> 01:00:53,617 - What? - Heh-heh. 1330 01:00:53,684 --> 01:00:54,618 Books? 1331 01:00:54,685 --> 01:00:55,619 Books? 1332 01:00:55,686 --> 01:00:57,087 No, heh, no! 1333 01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:58,455 We were supposed to score! 1334 01:00:58,522 --> 01:01:00,457 It was gonna be the best thing in the world. 1335 01:01:00,524 --> 01:01:02,592 And instead, all we get is books! 1336 01:01:02,659 --> 01:01:04,594 The worst thing in the world. 1337 01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:06,096 I'm tired of this crap. 1338 01:01:06,163 --> 01:01:07,431 It's not fair. 1339 01:01:07,497 --> 01:01:09,499 Damn it, Beavis, this is all your fault. 1340 01:01:09,566 --> 01:01:11,802 I would have scored if you hadn't scared her off 1341 01:01:11,869 --> 01:01:14,071 with all your wuss feelings talk. 1342 01:01:14,138 --> 01:01:15,940 "Oh, Serena, oh, I don't have a boner." 1343 01:01:16,006 --> 01:01:17,141 Bleugh! 1344 01:01:17,207 --> 01:01:18,142 Shut up, Butt-Head. 1345 01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:19,343 I don't sound like that. 1346 01:01:19,409 --> 01:01:21,078 You're the one who scared her off. 1347 01:01:21,145 --> 01:01:23,047 You're always calling her a slut. 1348 01:01:23,113 --> 01:01:25,015 That's because she is a slut, Beavis. 1349 01:01:26,483 --> 01:01:27,952 She's an S-L, 1350 01:01:28,018 --> 01:01:31,188 uh, O or something slut. 1351 01:01:31,255 --> 01:01:33,157 She told us herself, remember? 1352 01:01:33,223 --> 01:01:37,728 256 men, 49 women, a dog, 1353 01:01:37,795 --> 01:01:40,464 a chimpanzee with a wiener the size of a... 1354 01:01:40,530 --> 01:01:41,530 Ugh! 1355 01:01:44,935 --> 01:01:48,005 Beavis, you've just crossed a line. 1356 01:01:48,072 --> 01:01:51,175 And I think we both know what needs to happen now. 1357 01:01:51,241 --> 01:01:52,676 Ah! Butthole! 1358 01:01:52,743 --> 01:01:54,344 Heh-heh. 1359 01:01:54,411 --> 01:01:55,612 Butt-Head, I'm gonna kill you, 1360 01:01:55,679 --> 01:01:56,747 you son of a bitch! 1361 01:01:56,814 --> 01:01:59,016 Oh, my. 1362 01:01:59,083 --> 01:02:01,251 I know this can be an emotional decision 1363 01:02:01,318 --> 01:02:02,729 for a couple, but... Beavis, you son of a whore. 1364 01:02:02,753 --> 01:02:04,597 Yeah, all right, here we go, here we go, let's just... 1365 01:02:04,621 --> 01:02:06,390 Yeah, let's just move this party outside. 1366 01:02:06,456 --> 01:02:07,992 Get your hands off me, bunghole! 1367 01:02:08,058 --> 01:02:10,258 Okay, just go, go, go, go, go, good, good, good, good. 1368 01:02:11,762 --> 01:02:14,865 My email's on the flyer. 1369 01:02:14,932 --> 01:02:16,166 Damn it, Butt-Head. 1370 01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:18,002 I finally found someone, and you're jealous! 1371 01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:21,671 "I have feelings, Serena, wuh-heh-heh, let's hold hands. 1372 01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:23,507 "Wuh-heh-heh." Shut up, ButtHead! 1373 01:02:23,573 --> 01:02:25,042 You're the one who drove her away. 1374 01:02:25,109 --> 01:02:26,610 She said she doesn't understand you, 1375 01:02:26,676 --> 01:02:29,780 and we talked about spider webs and you ruined everything. 1376 01:02:29,847 --> 01:02:31,487 Damn it, Beavis, Serena never liked you, 1377 01:02:31,515 --> 01:02:33,483 she was just talking to you to get to me. 1378 01:02:33,550 --> 01:02:36,286 I'm tired of you weighing me down. 1379 01:02:36,353 --> 01:02:38,688 I'm gonna get out of here, and don't follow me. 1380 01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:39,755 Heh-heh-heh. 1381 01:02:39,790 --> 01:02:41,558 Well, don't follow me. 1382 01:02:41,625 --> 01:02:43,393 Butthole! Hehe. 1383 01:02:52,402 --> 01:02:54,905 ♪ I could hardly believe it ♪ 1384 01:02:54,972 --> 01:02:58,275 ♪ When I heard the news today ♪ 1385 01:02:58,342 --> 01:03:00,911 ♪ I had to come and get it ♪ 1386 01:03:00,978 --> 01:03:06,016 ♪ Straight from you ♪ 1387 01:03:06,083 --> 01:03:08,452 ♪ They said you were leaving ♪ 1388 01:03:08,518 --> 01:03:10,520 ♪ Someone swept your heart away ♪ 1389 01:03:12,156 --> 01:03:14,391 ♪ From the look upon your face ♪ 1390 01:03:14,458 --> 01:03:18,896 ♪ I see it's true ♪ 1391 01:03:18,963 --> 01:03:21,131 ♪ So tell me all about it ♪ Shut up, dumb-ass. 1392 01:03:21,198 --> 01:03:22,967 ♪ Tell about the plans you're making ♪ 1393 01:03:26,070 --> 01:03:31,976 ♪ Tell me one thing more before I go ♪ 1394 01:03:32,042 --> 01:03:37,181 ♪ Tell my how am I supposed to live without you ♪ 1395 01:03:37,247 --> 01:03:40,617 Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1396 01:03:40,684 --> 01:03:42,052 Hey, Beavis, check... 1397 01:03:42,119 --> 01:03:43,820 Uh, oh. 1398 01:03:43,888 --> 01:03:45,055 [Dramatic chord] 1399 01:03:45,122 --> 01:03:46,891 Let go of me, butthole. 1400 01:03:48,725 --> 01:03:50,294 Hey, hey, what are you... ah, 1401 01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:51,561 hey, what are you doing? 1402 01:03:55,265 --> 01:03:57,434 Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1403 01:03:57,501 --> 01:04:00,070 Are you here because you hate the United States? 1404 01:04:00,137 --> 01:04:03,340 Um, heh, the United States? 1405 01:04:03,407 --> 01:04:07,277 Is that, like, part of America or something? 1406 01:04:07,344 --> 01:04:08,913 It's hard to believe this species 1407 01:04:08,979 --> 01:04:10,480 mastered interstellar travel. 1408 01:04:10,547 --> 01:04:13,383 Perhaps the two beings share one brain. 1409 01:04:13,450 --> 01:04:16,353 Apart, they're barely able to feed themselves. 1410 01:04:16,420 --> 01:04:18,255 But together, their intelligence 1411 01:04:18,322 --> 01:04:20,824 is beyond what we can even conceive. 1412 01:04:20,891 --> 01:04:22,326 Hm-heh. 1413 01:04:22,392 --> 01:04:24,828 We've located the second creature. 1414 01:04:24,895 --> 01:04:27,797 If we keep them apart, it'll neutralize the threat. 1415 01:04:27,864 --> 01:04:29,599 But if we don't bring them together, 1416 01:04:29,666 --> 01:04:32,903 we'll never know their plans for world conquest. 1417 01:04:32,970 --> 01:04:35,772 Or the location of their internal sexual organs. 1418 01:04:35,839 --> 01:04:37,641 Heh-heh-heh. 1419 01:04:37,707 --> 01:04:39,209 Pipe. 1420 01:04:39,276 --> 01:04:40,978 Stop playing dumb. 1421 01:04:41,045 --> 01:04:42,679 Are you here to destroy me? 1422 01:04:42,746 --> 01:04:44,982 Uh, if that's how you want it, baby. 1423 01:04:45,049 --> 01:04:46,116 Heh-heh. 1424 01:04:46,183 --> 01:04:47,952 But I can also be very gentle. 1425 01:04:48,018 --> 01:04:49,362 Okay, we're not getting anywhere. 1426 01:04:49,386 --> 01:04:52,022 Uh, I don't mind the handcuffs, but like, 1427 01:04:52,089 --> 01:04:54,658 is this dumb-ass gonna be in the room while we're getting it on? 1428 01:04:54,724 --> 01:04:56,460 Who is this? 1429 01:04:56,526 --> 01:04:58,395 Hello, Governor. It appears we each have 1430 01:04:58,462 --> 01:05:01,398 something the other wants. 1431 01:05:02,699 --> 01:05:04,634 Governor Ryan, the secret Defense Command 1432 01:05:04,701 --> 01:05:07,337 demands you turn over your prisoner immediately 1433 01:05:07,404 --> 01:05:09,239 for reasons of national security. 1434 01:05:09,306 --> 01:05:12,309 You're sitting too close to me, Beavis. 1435 01:05:12,376 --> 01:05:14,244 You're sitting too close to me. 1436 01:05:14,311 --> 01:05:15,779 Butthole, hm-hm-heh. 1437 01:05:15,845 --> 01:05:18,848 As long as you're in the state of Texas, Special Agent, 1438 01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:20,617 both those boys belong to me. 1439 01:05:20,684 --> 01:05:23,487 And to a lesser extent me, because I'm the lieutenant... 1440 01:05:23,553 --> 01:05:25,389 There's no ice in this. 1441 01:05:25,455 --> 01:05:27,691 Could your assistant get me some ice as well? 1442 01:05:27,757 --> 01:05:30,294 Oh, I'm not actually her assistant, I'm the lieutenant... 1443 01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:32,129 Hartson, just get us some ice. 1444 01:05:35,299 --> 01:05:37,134 Heh, bunghole. 1445 01:05:37,201 --> 01:05:39,503 You're the bunghole, buttwagon. 1446 01:05:39,569 --> 01:05:41,972 The federal government has jurisdiction. 1447 01:05:42,039 --> 01:05:43,440 He said dick. 1448 01:05:43,507 --> 01:05:45,642 Heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. Heh, hmhm-heh. 1449 01:05:45,709 --> 01:05:47,477 It's not that funny, hm-hm-hm-heh. 1450 01:05:47,544 --> 01:05:50,447 Federal law dictates that you turn them over. 1451 01:05:50,514 --> 01:05:53,783 Whoa, he definitely said dick that time. 1452 01:05:53,850 --> 01:05:56,486 Heh-heh-heh-heh. Hehheh-hm-heh, yeah, heh. 1453 01:05:56,553 --> 01:05:59,323 Yeah, so what? It's not that funny, Butt-Head. 1454 01:05:59,389 --> 01:06:00,829 So one word sounds like another word, 1455 01:06:00,890 --> 01:06:02,326 big deal, who cares? 1456 01:06:02,392 --> 01:06:05,062 So you can ruin me and have me replaced as governor 1457 01:06:05,129 --> 01:06:06,963 with one of your deep state assets? 1458 01:06:07,031 --> 01:06:09,333 She said ate ass. 1459 01:06:09,399 --> 01:06:12,169 Heh-heh-heh. Whoa, ate ass. 1460 01:06:12,236 --> 01:06:13,470 She said ate ass! 1461 01:06:13,537 --> 01:06:14,777 Jesus, what is wrong with you? 1462 01:06:14,838 --> 01:06:16,306 I did not say ate ass. 1463 01:06:16,373 --> 01:06:18,275 - She said it again, hm-heh. - Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1464 01:06:18,342 --> 01:06:19,709 Ate ass. 1465 01:06:19,776 --> 01:06:22,146 They're just sitting around saying ate ass. 1466 01:06:22,212 --> 01:06:24,448 - Ate ass. - Ate ass. 1467 01:06:24,514 --> 01:06:26,450 - They are really annoying. - Ate ass, sir. 1468 01:06:26,516 --> 01:06:28,061 Is there another room we could put them in? 1469 01:06:28,085 --> 01:06:29,419 Ate ass! 1470 01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:31,821 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh, ate ass. 1471 01:06:31,888 --> 01:06:33,523 Hm-hm-heh-heh-heh. Ate ass, hehheh. 1472 01:06:33,590 --> 01:06:35,559 And then she said she didn't say ate ass, 1473 01:06:35,625 --> 01:06:37,094 which made her say it again. 1474 01:06:37,161 --> 01:06:39,563 And then we said it, remember? 1475 01:06:39,629 --> 01:06:41,665 Hm-hm-hm-heh-heh. Yeah, that was cool. 1476 01:06:41,731 --> 01:06:43,233 - Oh, boy. - Heh-heh-heh. 1477 01:06:43,300 --> 01:06:44,868 Quick, I don't have much time. 1478 01:06:44,934 --> 01:06:47,137 I know what Serena did to you on the Endeavor. 1479 01:06:47,204 --> 01:06:49,973 Uh, she hasn't done it yet. 1480 01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:51,641 It's gonna be any minute though, yeah. 1481 01:06:51,708 --> 01:06:53,577 I can help you bring her down. 1482 01:06:53,643 --> 01:06:57,281 Uh, so like, you'd be in the room? 1483 01:06:57,347 --> 01:06:59,149 I'll be right behind you all the way. 1484 01:06:59,216 --> 01:07:00,784 - Heh. - Ugh. 1485 01:07:00,850 --> 01:07:02,252 Really? I don't know, ButtHead, 1486 01:07:02,319 --> 01:07:03,653 I guess it's worth it, I mean, 1487 01:07:03,720 --> 01:07:05,398 I wouldn't say no to anything at this point. 1488 01:07:05,422 --> 01:07:06,823 Here's the plan. 1489 01:07:06,890 --> 01:07:09,493 I left the keys in that green car right down there. 1490 01:07:09,559 --> 01:07:10,559 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 1491 01:07:10,594 --> 01:07:12,162 Take the highway northbound 1492 01:07:12,229 --> 01:07:13,497 to the Pecos county rest stop. 1493 01:07:13,563 --> 01:07:14,664 Mm-hmm, sounds good. 1494 01:07:14,731 --> 01:07:16,533 There's a reporter from the morning news 1495 01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:18,102 waiting to hear your story. 1496 01:07:18,168 --> 01:07:19,469 - Okay. - All right, uh-huh. 1497 01:07:19,536 --> 01:07:21,971 - Did you get all that? - Yes, sir, heh-heh. 1498 01:07:22,038 --> 01:07:23,573 Yep, we're gonna score. 1499 01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:26,176 Heh-heh-heh. Damn right. 1500 01:07:26,243 --> 01:07:28,545 I have to go back in there before they get suspicious, 1501 01:07:28,612 --> 01:07:30,247 but you've got to get out of here, now. 1502 01:07:30,314 --> 01:07:33,183 The people in there want you dead. 1503 01:07:33,250 --> 01:07:35,485 What she tried to do to you in '98 1504 01:07:35,552 --> 01:07:38,722 she's done to me every day for 24 years. 1505 01:07:38,788 --> 01:07:40,724 - Christ, heh-heh-heh. - Whoa, heh-heh. 1506 01:07:40,790 --> 01:07:42,102 There's no need to brag about it. 1507 01:07:42,126 --> 01:07:44,027 I'm going to make sure she can't do it to you 1508 01:07:44,094 --> 01:07:47,331 or anyone else ever again. 1509 01:07:47,397 --> 01:07:49,466 Uh, wait a minute, 1510 01:07:49,533 --> 01:07:51,401 I think I see what's going on here. 1511 01:07:51,468 --> 01:07:53,337 He doesn't want us to score. 1512 01:07:53,403 --> 01:07:55,405 That's why he took the handcuffs off. 1513 01:07:55,472 --> 01:07:56,673 Yeah, yeah, because he knows 1514 01:07:56,740 --> 01:07:58,308 Serena has a thing for handcuffs. 1515 01:07:58,375 --> 01:08:00,144 Yeah, hm-hm-heh. Exactly. 1516 01:08:00,210 --> 01:08:01,645 And that's why he gave us a car, 1517 01:08:01,711 --> 01:08:03,580 and directions to someplace far away 1518 01:08:03,647 --> 01:08:05,615 where Serena will never find us. 1519 01:08:05,682 --> 01:08:07,817 That dirty butthole. 1520 01:08:07,884 --> 01:08:08,752 Damn it! Heh. 1521 01:08:08,818 --> 01:08:10,053 What's wrong with that guy? 1522 01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:12,556 He's scored every day for... for 24 years. 1523 01:08:12,622 --> 01:08:14,758 That's like, um, 50 times. 1524 01:08:14,824 --> 01:08:16,025 We got to get back in there 1525 01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:18,495 and get those handcuffs back on, Beavis. 1526 01:08:18,562 --> 01:08:20,864 We just outsmarted that son of a bitch. 1527 01:08:22,499 --> 01:08:24,100 Damn it, it's locked. 1528 01:08:24,168 --> 01:08:26,069 Quick, Butt-Head, the window. 1529 01:08:28,505 --> 01:08:29,939 - Ah! - Ugh. 1530 01:08:30,006 --> 01:08:32,542 Heh-heh. That was close, hmhm-heh. 1531 01:08:32,609 --> 01:08:34,411 I can't wait to see the look on his face 1532 01:08:34,478 --> 01:08:36,346 when he sees that car and we're not in it. 1533 01:08:36,413 --> 01:08:37,481 Heh-heh-heh. Hehheh-heh. 1534 01:08:39,416 --> 01:08:41,251 What did I miss? 1535 01:08:41,318 --> 01:08:42,486 This is so funny. 1536 01:08:42,552 --> 01:08:44,388 We were arguing whether they're aliens 1537 01:08:44,454 --> 01:08:45,922 or the boys from the Space Shuttle. 1538 01:08:45,989 --> 01:08:48,358 But then we realized, it doesn't matter. 1539 01:08:48,425 --> 01:08:50,059 We both want the same thing. 1540 01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:53,497 We want to kill them, and they want to dissect them. 1541 01:08:53,563 --> 01:08:55,265 We're all on the same team. 1542 01:08:57,434 --> 01:08:59,569 Well, let's go kill them. 1543 01:08:59,636 --> 01:09:02,038 And dissect them, right, Phil? 1544 01:09:02,105 --> 01:09:03,240 You got me. 1545 01:09:05,509 --> 01:09:07,377 What the hell? 1546 01:09:07,444 --> 01:09:09,045 Uh, just hold on a second. 1547 01:09:09,112 --> 01:09:10,747 What is it, Hartson? 1548 01:09:10,814 --> 01:09:12,949 All this talk about dissecting 1549 01:09:13,016 --> 01:09:14,551 is making me curious. 1550 01:09:14,618 --> 01:09:16,620 No, you know what, forget it, it's probably way 1551 01:09:16,686 --> 01:09:19,122 too complicated for someone like me to understand. 1552 01:09:19,189 --> 01:09:20,390 Hmm. 1553 01:09:20,457 --> 01:09:23,092 Oh, no, no, no, on the contrary, 1554 01:09:23,159 --> 01:09:24,494 this will just take a minute. 1555 01:09:24,561 --> 01:09:26,396 I've got some pictures on my phone. 1556 01:09:26,463 --> 01:09:29,032 First, you need to locate the anus. 1557 01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:32,469 Okay, there, we got 'em closed. 1558 01:09:32,536 --> 01:09:35,505 Now let's put our hands in. 1559 01:09:35,572 --> 01:09:37,040 It won't fit, Butt-Head. 1560 01:09:37,106 --> 01:09:39,576 How'd we ever get our hands in here in the first place? 1561 01:09:39,643 --> 01:09:43,012 Uh, let's open them up and start over again. 1562 01:09:43,079 --> 01:09:44,514 We need a key, heh-heh. 1563 01:09:44,581 --> 01:09:48,518 I think that guy said the keys are in the green car. 1564 01:09:48,585 --> 01:09:50,654 Heh-heh-heh-heh. Uh, oh, yeah. 1565 01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:52,856 Heh-heh, good thinking, Beavis. 1566 01:09:52,922 --> 01:09:54,362 Heh-heh-heh. Yeah, hehheh, thanks. 1567 01:09:54,391 --> 01:09:57,861 I know you're thinking, "I need an expensive scalpel," 1568 01:09:57,927 --> 01:10:00,430 but save your money for the embalming fluid. 1569 01:10:00,497 --> 01:10:02,499 There's a guy in Ecuador who can set you up... 1570 01:10:02,566 --> 01:10:04,244 You know what, we don't have time for this. 1571 01:10:04,268 --> 01:10:06,836 Let's go kill those boys, huh? 1572 01:10:06,903 --> 01:10:08,872 Heh-heh. 1573 01:10:08,938 --> 01:10:10,907 - Damn it. - I think you just, um... 1574 01:10:10,974 --> 01:10:13,076 - This key sucks. - Yeah, I don't know. 1575 01:10:24,321 --> 01:10:25,489 They're gone. 1576 01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:26,555 What? 1577 01:10:26,590 --> 01:10:28,492 I can't believe it! 1578 01:10:28,558 --> 01:10:30,059 Where could they have gone? 1579 01:10:30,126 --> 01:10:32,929 I think I have an idea. 1580 01:10:32,996 --> 01:10:37,434 Directions to 322 Woodson Street, Highland, Texas. 1581 01:10:37,501 --> 01:10:39,269 Heh-heh-heh. 1582 01:10:39,336 --> 01:10:40,437 Wood. 1583 01:10:40,504 --> 01:10:42,439 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1584 01:10:42,506 --> 01:10:43,740 Let's go. 1585 01:10:46,676 --> 01:10:49,245 - Damn it. - Hartson, get in the van. 1586 01:10:51,047 --> 01:10:52,449 It doesn't fit. 1587 01:10:53,883 --> 01:10:55,084 Hey, Serena's in there. 1588 01:10:55,151 --> 01:10:57,987 And that butthole. 1589 01:10:58,054 --> 01:10:59,689 He's gonna go score with her. 1590 01:10:59,756 --> 01:11:01,925 Why is it always a guy with a van? 1591 01:11:01,991 --> 01:11:04,561 We got to save her before Hartson bones her again. 1592 01:11:04,628 --> 01:11:06,730 Heh-heh. Yeah, he's out of control. 1593 01:11:06,796 --> 01:11:09,132 And, um, I just want to say, um, 1594 01:11:09,198 --> 01:11:11,100 you can score first if you want to, Butt-Head. 1595 01:11:11,167 --> 01:11:12,536 Hm-hm-heh. 1596 01:11:12,602 --> 01:11:15,204 Beavis, I'm not gonna score. 1597 01:11:15,271 --> 01:11:17,140 And you're not gonna score. 1598 01:11:17,206 --> 01:11:18,274 We're gonna score. 1599 01:11:19,443 --> 01:11:22,111 Yeah, heh, yeah, yeah! 1600 01:11:22,178 --> 01:11:24,948 Now let's go score before I change my mind. 1601 01:11:25,014 --> 01:11:27,517 Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. Yeah! 1602 01:11:27,584 --> 01:11:29,786 All we need now is a car. 1603 01:11:29,853 --> 01:11:34,057 Hmm. Um, ButtHead, we're in a car. 1604 01:11:34,123 --> 01:11:36,593 Yeah, hm-hm-hm-heh. Oh, yeah, hehheh. 1605 01:11:36,660 --> 01:11:38,962 You really brought your A-game today, Beavis. 1606 01:11:39,028 --> 01:11:40,764 Heh-heh-heh. Heh, yeah, thanks. 1607 01:11:40,830 --> 01:11:42,366 Hm-hm-heh. 1608 01:11:42,432 --> 01:11:44,143 Remember, Butt-Head, it's gonna go backwards like before. 1609 01:11:44,167 --> 01:11:45,201 Yeah, hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1610 01:11:45,268 --> 01:11:46,603 Uh, oh, yeah. 1611 01:11:46,670 --> 01:11:48,805 Heh-heh, you're on a roll, Beavis. 1612 01:11:48,872 --> 01:11:50,139 Heh-heh. 1613 01:11:50,206 --> 01:11:53,643 Just gonna back this baby out and go score. 1614 01:11:58,415 --> 01:12:00,917 Heh, kick ass, yeah! 1615 01:12:00,984 --> 01:12:02,352 Heh-heh-heh. Hehheh-heh. 1616 01:12:02,419 --> 01:12:03,520 This is cool. 1617 01:12:03,587 --> 01:12:04,821 Yeah, yeah, heh-heh, yeah. 1618 01:12:04,888 --> 01:12:07,123 Whoa! Hehheh. 1619 01:12:07,190 --> 01:12:08,525 Wait, I see her! 1620 01:12:08,592 --> 01:12:10,894 I see her, Butt-Head, speed up! Okay, Beavis. 1621 01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:13,997 ♪ Revolution in their minds ♪ 1622 01:12:14,063 --> 01:12:15,599 ♪ The children start to march ♪ 1623 01:12:15,665 --> 01:12:18,001 Heh-heh-heh. 1624 01:12:18,067 --> 01:12:20,003 Hang on, we're being followed. 1625 01:12:20,069 --> 01:12:22,406 What the hell? 1626 01:12:25,842 --> 01:12:26,876 There she is! 1627 01:12:26,943 --> 01:12:28,478 Faster, Butt-Head, come on, faster! 1628 01:12:28,545 --> 01:12:29,746 Who could it be? 1629 01:12:29,813 --> 01:12:31,373 Probably just someone who just happens 1630 01:12:31,415 --> 01:12:32,549 to be going our way. 1631 01:12:32,616 --> 01:12:33,817 To the store, perhaps. 1632 01:12:33,883 --> 01:12:36,420 It's the Venezuelans or Al-Qaeda. 1633 01:12:36,486 --> 01:12:37,987 Or the Venusians. 1634 01:12:38,054 --> 01:12:39,355 Or Arcturus Six. 1635 01:12:39,423 --> 01:12:41,691 Or probably just someone going to the store. 1636 01:12:41,758 --> 01:12:43,059 You know how you run out of milk? 1637 01:12:43,126 --> 01:12:44,861 I think it's time to put this baby 1638 01:12:44,928 --> 01:12:46,162 into high gear, Beavis. 1639 01:12:46,229 --> 01:12:47,840 Yeah, yeah, heh, yeah let's do it, yeah. 1640 01:12:47,864 --> 01:12:49,466 What does R stand for? 1641 01:12:49,533 --> 01:12:51,601 Hm-hm-heh. Uh, really fast? 1642 01:12:51,668 --> 01:12:53,369 Yeah, yeah, let's go really fast. 1643 01:12:56,773 --> 01:12:58,141 Ow, heh, ow! Ugh! 1644 01:13:00,577 --> 01:13:01,811 Ugh. 1645 01:13:01,878 --> 01:13:03,813 You have a bag in your face. 1646 01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:06,550 - Heh-heh-heh. - Oh, yeah, heh-heh. 1647 01:13:06,616 --> 01:13:08,685 Bag, heh-heh-heh. Hehheh-heh-heh. 1648 01:13:08,752 --> 01:13:09,752 Come on, Butt-Head! 1649 01:13:09,786 --> 01:13:10,786 Come on, drive! 1650 01:13:10,820 --> 01:13:12,556 We have to save Serena, come on. 1651 01:13:17,461 --> 01:13:22,398 ♪ Children of tomorrow live in the tears that fall today ♪ 1652 01:13:24,067 --> 01:13:26,102 ♪ Will the sun rise up tomorrow ♪ 1653 01:13:26,169 --> 01:13:29,372 ♪ Bring in peace in any way? ♪ 1654 01:13:30,940 --> 01:13:32,485 ♪ Must the world live in the shadow... ♪ 1655 01:13:32,509 --> 01:13:35,512 Uh, I think there's something wrong with this car. 1656 01:13:35,579 --> 01:13:37,313 Heh-heh-heh. 1657 01:13:37,380 --> 01:13:39,583 The car is going backwards, Butt-Head. 1658 01:13:39,649 --> 01:13:41,417 Heh. Uh, oh. 1659 01:13:41,485 --> 01:13:44,353 Heh-heh, cool. 1660 01:13:44,420 --> 01:13:46,723 Whew, well, I think we lost them. 1661 01:13:46,790 --> 01:13:48,324 Nothing to worry about, I guess. 1662 01:13:50,326 --> 01:13:52,862 They're back, and they're driving backwards. 1663 01:13:52,929 --> 01:13:54,430 What the hell is happening? 1664 01:13:54,498 --> 01:13:56,099 Who are these guys? 1665 01:13:56,165 --> 01:13:58,735 The East Germans train their assassination teams 1666 01:13:58,802 --> 01:14:00,470 to drive backwards to give their snipers 1667 01:14:00,537 --> 01:14:01,905 a better field of vision. 1668 01:14:08,144 --> 01:14:09,489 We almost got 'em, Butt-Head, hurry. 1669 01:14:09,513 --> 01:14:10,814 Heh-heh-hm-hm-heh. 1670 01:14:12,616 --> 01:14:14,017 Beavis and Butt-Head. 1671 01:14:14,083 --> 01:14:15,451 Listen carefully. 1672 01:14:15,519 --> 01:14:18,054 You only have three minutes to go through the portal. 1673 01:14:18,121 --> 01:14:19,789 Our universes hang in the balance. 1674 01:14:19,856 --> 01:14:23,059 Uh, how did you get here? 1675 01:14:23,126 --> 01:14:26,530 Our universe has technology that you can only dream of. 1676 01:14:26,596 --> 01:14:28,064 Can you watch porn on it? 1677 01:14:28,131 --> 01:14:29,833 Yes, an infinite amount. 1678 01:14:29,899 --> 01:14:31,935 Every scenario you can ever imagine. 1679 01:14:32,001 --> 01:14:33,269 But none of it will exist 1680 01:14:33,336 --> 01:14:34,904 if you do not go through the portal. 1681 01:14:34,971 --> 01:14:37,273 Why did you not go through the portal before? 1682 01:14:37,340 --> 01:14:40,143 It was right there behind the Classics department. 1683 01:14:40,209 --> 01:14:42,746 You could have saved the universe and maybe learned 1684 01:14:42,812 --> 01:14:44,981 how Latin is the basis of English grammar. 1685 01:14:45,048 --> 01:14:47,751 But no matter. At great personal expense, 1686 01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:49,385 we have moved the portal again. 1687 01:14:49,452 --> 01:14:51,254 It is now in your old home, 1688 01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:53,857 in the poorly renovated half bathroom. 1689 01:14:53,923 --> 01:14:56,626 Enter now so the portal might seal itself, 1690 01:14:56,693 --> 01:14:58,227 and you will return to a universe 1691 01:14:58,294 --> 01:15:00,163 where you never went through the black hole 1692 01:15:00,229 --> 01:15:04,333 but instead lived your lives these past 24 years. 1693 01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:07,203 - Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Hm-hm-heh-heh. 1694 01:15:07,270 --> 01:15:09,205 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1695 01:15:09,272 --> 01:15:11,440 Um, heh, who are those guys? 1696 01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:13,643 Uh, I don't know. 1697 01:15:13,710 --> 01:15:15,078 They seem pretty cool, though. 1698 01:15:15,144 --> 01:15:16,813 Yeah, yeah, yeah, not too bad, really. 1699 01:15:16,880 --> 01:15:18,582 This show sucks. 1700 01:15:18,648 --> 01:15:20,016 Yeah, yeah, it's horrible. 1701 01:15:20,083 --> 01:15:21,727 Change the channel, Butt-Head, come on, right now. 1702 01:15:21,751 --> 01:15:23,519 Don't tell me what to do. 1703 01:15:24,821 --> 01:15:26,261 Yeah, yeah, hit 'em, hit 'em again. 1704 01:15:27,691 --> 01:15:29,025 Come on, turn that show back on. 1705 01:15:29,092 --> 01:15:30,093 There is no time. 1706 01:15:30,159 --> 01:15:31,995 Now fly to the portal, fly. 1707 01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:34,964 There's a stop sign, Butt-Head. 1708 01:15:35,031 --> 01:15:36,132 Fly, my friends... 1709 01:15:39,268 --> 01:15:41,771 Heh, ow. 1710 01:15:41,838 --> 01:15:44,273 Ah! 1711 01:15:44,340 --> 01:15:45,441 That was painful. 1712 01:15:45,508 --> 01:15:48,344 We must hasten to the... 1713 01:15:49,913 --> 01:15:51,347 Looks like we lost them. 1714 01:15:51,414 --> 01:15:53,416 Woodson Street is right up ahead. 1715 01:16:02,826 --> 01:16:04,761 There they are, Butt-Head. 1716 01:16:04,828 --> 01:16:06,362 Sweet Christ. 1717 01:16:06,429 --> 01:16:08,164 There's only five people in the world 1718 01:16:08,231 --> 01:16:09,241 who could drive like that. 1719 01:16:09,265 --> 01:16:10,466 Yeah, again, probably just 1720 01:16:10,533 --> 01:16:11,877 someone going out shopping, and their 1721 01:16:11,901 --> 01:16:13,469 transmission got stuck in reverse. 1722 01:16:13,536 --> 01:16:15,138 Happens to me. Never happened to you? 1723 01:16:15,204 --> 01:16:17,373 I'm not going down without a fight. 1724 01:16:17,440 --> 01:16:19,709 Or instead, you could pull over 1725 01:16:19,776 --> 01:16:20,810 and let me out and... 1726 01:16:20,877 --> 01:16:21,877 Ahh! 1727 01:16:25,414 --> 01:16:27,984 Cool. Someone put a little mirror here 1728 01:16:28,051 --> 01:16:29,294 where you can, like, see behind... 1729 01:16:29,318 --> 01:16:30,920 Heh-heh. 1730 01:16:30,987 --> 01:16:32,789 I don't see it, where? 1731 01:16:32,856 --> 01:16:34,057 Ah! Ugh! 1732 01:16:35,424 --> 01:16:36,626 Hey Butt-Head, they stopped. 1733 01:16:36,693 --> 01:16:38,427 We got 'em right where we want 'em. 1734 01:16:38,494 --> 01:16:39,929 - Ah, ah! - Ugh! 1735 01:16:42,732 --> 01:16:43,732 Get out of the car. 1736 01:16:51,174 --> 01:16:53,542 - Of course. - What the hell? 1737 01:16:53,609 --> 01:16:55,311 That's right, baby. 1738 01:16:55,378 --> 01:16:57,580 Our little dance of seduction is now complete. 1739 01:16:57,647 --> 01:16:59,415 Heh-heh-heh. Hm, yeah, heh, oh, yeah. 1740 01:16:59,482 --> 01:17:02,318 Hold your fire. 1741 01:17:02,385 --> 01:17:06,155 24 years ago, you nearly destroyed me. 1742 01:17:06,222 --> 01:17:08,524 And now you've traveled through time and space 1743 01:17:08,591 --> 01:17:11,227 to try to destroy me again. 1744 01:17:11,294 --> 01:17:14,097 I want to be the one to do this. 1745 01:17:14,163 --> 01:17:15,965 Yes! Heh-heh. 1746 01:17:16,032 --> 01:17:17,533 Yes, it's really going to happen! 1747 01:17:18,835 --> 01:17:20,904 Wait, bu... why are you happy? 1748 01:17:20,970 --> 01:17:23,539 Uh, because, milady, 1749 01:17:23,606 --> 01:17:25,441 we are about to score with thee. 1750 01:17:25,508 --> 01:17:26,710 Together. 1751 01:17:26,776 --> 01:17:28,712 - Heh-heh, heh-heh. - Hm, yeah, heh-heh. 1752 01:17:28,778 --> 01:17:30,113 Hang on. 1753 01:17:30,179 --> 01:17:32,548 Do you think I'm going to have sex with you? 1754 01:17:32,615 --> 01:17:34,117 Uh, yeah. 1755 01:17:34,183 --> 01:17:35,703 Heh-heh. So, um, should we do it here 1756 01:17:35,752 --> 01:17:37,821 or in the kitchen, 'cause I think that guy 1757 01:17:37,887 --> 01:17:39,088 wants to watch or something? 1758 01:17:39,155 --> 01:17:41,090 - Heh-heh. - Hm, yeah, heh. 1759 01:17:41,157 --> 01:17:43,292 Yeah, you said you'd have sex with us 1760 01:17:43,359 --> 01:17:45,895 back at Space Camp. Remember? 1761 01:17:45,962 --> 01:17:47,931 What did I say at Space Camp? 1762 01:17:49,132 --> 01:17:51,000 How would you guys like to do that, 1763 01:17:51,067 --> 01:17:53,469 but do it for real, with me? 1764 01:17:53,536 --> 01:17:55,338 - Whoa. - Yes! 1765 01:17:55,404 --> 01:17:57,273 That wasn't so hard, was it? 1766 01:17:57,340 --> 01:17:58,583 Well, actually, it was pretty hard 1767 01:17:58,607 --> 01:18:00,276 until the last five minutes or so, 1768 01:18:00,343 --> 01:18:01,610 but then I got barf on it. 1769 01:18:01,677 --> 01:18:04,113 And then, you know, just, heh, see you later. 1770 01:18:04,180 --> 01:18:07,751 To me, the most exciting part is re-entry. 1771 01:18:07,817 --> 01:18:09,853 - Heh-heh-heh. - Hm-heh-heh. 1772 01:18:09,919 --> 01:18:11,039 Yeah, we get to do it twice! 1773 01:18:12,756 --> 01:18:13,890 Do it... 1774 01:18:13,957 --> 01:18:15,792 so hard... 1775 01:18:15,859 --> 01:18:17,626 re-entry... 1776 01:18:17,693 --> 01:18:20,363 Oh, my God. You were never out to get me. 1777 01:18:20,429 --> 01:18:22,832 You just wanted to have sex with me. 1778 01:18:22,899 --> 01:18:24,533 Yeah, baby, heh-heh. 1779 01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:26,702 Guilty as charged, heh, you know what I'm saying? 1780 01:18:26,770 --> 01:18:27,937 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1781 01:18:28,004 --> 01:18:29,605 These boys aren't my enemies, 1782 01:18:29,672 --> 01:18:32,341 and they're not aliens out to destroy our way of life. 1783 01:18:32,408 --> 01:18:37,747 They're just two very, very stupid and horny teenagers. 1784 01:18:40,516 --> 01:18:42,051 Uh, huh? 1785 01:18:42,118 --> 01:18:43,519 Heh-heh. Yeah, come on, hehheh. 1786 01:18:43,586 --> 01:18:45,822 Boi-yoi-yoi-ing! 1787 01:18:45,889 --> 01:18:48,024 I can't believe I've been hanging on to this 1788 01:18:48,091 --> 01:18:49,625 for 24 years. 1789 01:18:49,692 --> 01:18:51,761 Yeah, I've been hanging on to it too. 1790 01:18:51,828 --> 01:18:53,262 Hm-hm-heh. 1791 01:18:53,329 --> 01:18:56,933 And now, I know you mean you've been masturbating. 1792 01:18:57,000 --> 01:18:58,935 It's all so simple. 1793 01:18:59,002 --> 01:19:01,404 Well, I'll be. 1794 01:19:01,470 --> 01:19:02,705 Masturbating. 1795 01:19:02,772 --> 01:19:05,641 Let's all go home. 1796 01:19:05,708 --> 01:19:07,676 Oh, no, I'm not gonna let everyone 1797 01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:09,345 just walk away from this. 1798 01:19:09,412 --> 01:19:13,049 I know everything you've done, every law you've broken. 1799 01:19:13,116 --> 01:19:15,785 That's right, from now on, it's gonna be my turn because... 1800 01:19:16,986 --> 01:19:18,254 - What? - What the hell? 1801 01:19:18,321 --> 01:19:20,990 Beavis and Butt-Head, hear us. 1802 01:19:21,057 --> 01:19:23,692 You need to open the door first, Smart Butt-Head. 1803 01:19:23,759 --> 01:19:25,261 Yes, yes, the door, yes. 1804 01:19:25,328 --> 01:19:28,164 Well observed, Smart Beavis, well observed, yes. 1805 01:19:28,231 --> 01:19:30,266 Beavis and Butt-Head, hear us. 1806 01:19:30,333 --> 01:19:32,301 You have mere seconds to enter the portal. 1807 01:19:32,368 --> 01:19:34,403 Only by the two of you entering this portal 1808 01:19:34,470 --> 01:19:36,239 can our universes be saved. 1809 01:19:36,305 --> 01:19:39,742 Otherwise, the entire cosmos shall perish forever. 1810 01:19:39,809 --> 01:19:41,510 Make haste. 1811 01:19:41,577 --> 01:19:43,746 Uh, okay, haste. 1812 01:19:43,813 --> 01:19:47,150 No, they are witnesses and they are not going anywhere! 1813 01:19:47,216 --> 01:19:49,018 And I don't know who you two freaks are 1814 01:19:49,085 --> 01:19:52,255 or how you're mixed up in this, but I'm gonna find out. 1815 01:19:52,321 --> 01:19:54,657 I am done being a laughingstock. 1816 01:19:54,723 --> 01:19:57,226 I've already called the Federal whistleblower hotline 1817 01:19:57,293 --> 01:19:58,962 and as soon as I get off hold... 1818 01:19:59,028 --> 01:20:00,296 Hello, can I help you? 1819 01:20:00,363 --> 01:20:02,065 You sure can, I am calling 1820 01:20:02,131 --> 01:20:03,766 from Highland, Texas, and I... 1821 01:20:07,503 --> 01:20:08,604 Hello? 1822 01:20:08,671 --> 01:20:10,273 Hello? 1823 01:20:10,339 --> 01:20:12,641 Asshole. 1824 01:20:18,081 --> 01:20:20,249 Hmm. Well, I will be damned. 1825 01:20:20,316 --> 01:20:21,817 That appears to have worked. 1826 01:20:21,885 --> 01:20:23,619 We thought it needed to be the two of you 1827 01:20:23,686 --> 01:20:24,854 to go through the portal. 1828 01:20:24,921 --> 01:20:26,622 But I guess anything would have worked. 1829 01:20:26,689 --> 01:20:28,391 We could have thrown a brick in there. 1830 01:20:28,457 --> 01:20:30,359 It's safe to say, we were making it 1831 01:20:30,426 --> 01:20:32,428 more complicated than it needed to be. 1832 01:20:32,495 --> 01:20:34,173 While we are the smartest Beavis and Butt-Head 1833 01:20:34,197 --> 01:20:35,464 in all the cosmos, 1834 01:20:35,531 --> 01:20:38,634 in absolute terms, we're still not so bright. 1835 01:20:38,701 --> 01:20:39,936 Okay, boys. 1836 01:20:40,003 --> 01:20:42,105 No one can know what happened here tonight. 1837 01:20:42,171 --> 01:20:43,907 So what will it take to keep you quiet? 1838 01:20:43,973 --> 01:20:46,009 Uh, we want to score. 1839 01:20:46,075 --> 01:20:47,443 Heh-heh. 1840 01:20:47,510 --> 01:20:48,844 Oh, God. 1841 01:20:48,912 --> 01:20:52,348 I mean, I suppose it's not the most disgusting thing 1842 01:20:52,415 --> 01:20:54,450 I've done for my career. 1843 01:20:54,517 --> 01:20:56,419 So would it have to be both of you? 1844 01:20:56,485 --> 01:20:58,221 That's right, Serena. 1845 01:20:58,287 --> 01:20:59,622 We're a team. Yep. 1846 01:20:59,688 --> 01:21:01,124 - Heh-heh-heh. - Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1847 01:21:01,190 --> 01:21:06,162 Oh, God, this is, oof, rough. 1848 01:21:06,229 --> 01:21:09,432 I'm gonna need a minute to think about this. 1849 01:21:09,498 --> 01:21:12,835 Um, heh, Serena, whatever you decide, 1850 01:21:12,902 --> 01:21:14,637 you know, like, either way, 1851 01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:16,372 there's something I need to tell you. 1852 01:21:16,439 --> 01:21:17,473 Um, heh. 1853 01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:20,043 Something I tried to say before, 1854 01:21:20,109 --> 01:21:21,844 but I didn't have the courage. 1855 01:21:21,911 --> 01:21:23,546 Go ahead, Beavis. 1856 01:21:23,612 --> 01:21:27,250 Now Serena, I've been on a long journey 1857 01:21:27,316 --> 01:21:29,852 and I've been to outer space 1858 01:21:29,919 --> 01:21:31,420 and I've been in a toilet. 1859 01:21:31,487 --> 01:21:34,123 And I think I've been to some other places 1860 01:21:34,190 --> 01:21:36,092 that, um, heh, I don't remember. 1861 01:21:36,159 --> 01:21:37,760 But um... You went to college. 1862 01:21:37,826 --> 01:21:40,196 Oh, yeah, yeah, heh, I went to college... 1863 01:21:40,263 --> 01:21:42,331 And you went to jail. 1864 01:21:42,398 --> 01:21:44,633 No, I don't remember that. 1865 01:21:44,700 --> 01:21:48,137 Anyway, along the way, I learned some things and stuff. 1866 01:21:48,204 --> 01:21:49,538 Or something, and, um, heh. 1867 01:21:49,605 --> 01:21:53,376 And so now, I finally am ready 1868 01:21:53,442 --> 01:21:56,212 to say to you what I've been wanting to say, 1869 01:21:56,279 --> 01:21:57,413 which is that... 1870 01:21:57,480 --> 01:22:01,050 That I... I, um, heh, I lo... 1871 01:22:01,117 --> 01:22:02,818 I... I... 1872 01:22:02,885 --> 01:22:04,287 I... I lo... 1873 01:22:04,353 --> 01:22:06,022 Come on, kid, you can do it. 1874 01:22:06,089 --> 01:22:07,256 I... 1875 01:22:07,323 --> 01:22:08,491 I love you, Serena. 1876 01:22:08,557 --> 01:22:10,593 For years, I have watched you from afar 1877 01:22:10,659 --> 01:22:13,029 through the portal, entranced by your beauty, 1878 01:22:13,096 --> 01:22:14,497 your elegance, your grace, 1879 01:22:14,563 --> 01:22:16,665 your intelligence, your knowledge of science. 1880 01:22:16,732 --> 01:22:18,101 Wait a second. 1881 01:22:18,167 --> 01:22:19,902 And I have a better offer for you. 1882 01:22:19,969 --> 01:22:21,604 Come with me to my universe, 1883 01:22:21,670 --> 01:22:23,672 and I will show you the mysteries of the cosmos 1884 01:22:23,739 --> 01:22:25,874 as we travel across the galaxies, 1885 01:22:25,941 --> 01:22:28,377 beyond anything NASA will ever achieve... 1886 01:22:28,444 --> 01:22:30,413 fulfilling all the dreams you ever had 1887 01:22:30,479 --> 01:22:33,382 since you were a little girl staring up at the stars. 1888 01:22:35,584 --> 01:22:39,322 Wow, that is, surprisingly, 1889 01:22:39,388 --> 01:22:41,557 everything I've ever dreamed of. 1890 01:22:41,624 --> 01:22:43,592 Um, I have an offer too, um, heh. 1891 01:22:43,659 --> 01:22:46,162 I found a coupon in the car for Taco Bell. 1892 01:22:46,229 --> 01:22:48,197 I was thinking maybe we could, um, 1893 01:22:48,264 --> 01:22:49,765 we could go have a taco... 1894 01:22:49,832 --> 01:22:52,101 Also I was thinking we might score. 1895 01:22:52,168 --> 01:22:53,102 You know what? 1896 01:22:53,169 --> 01:22:54,537 So was I. 1897 01:22:54,603 --> 01:22:57,106 Yeah, sometimes the Taco Bell has a Pizza Hut. 1898 01:22:57,173 --> 01:23:00,109 You know, if you don't like tacos, heh, or nachos. 1899 01:23:02,145 --> 01:23:05,781 I have a gigantic schlong. I hope that's okay. 1900 01:23:08,017 --> 01:23:10,286 Oh, boy, yeah, I knew it. 1901 01:23:10,353 --> 01:23:11,353 Here we go again. 1902 01:23:11,387 --> 01:23:13,089 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1903 01:23:13,156 --> 01:23:15,624 Beavis, you're a dumb-ass. 1904 01:23:15,691 --> 01:23:17,026 Heh-heh-heh. Hmhm-hm-heh. 1905 01:23:17,093 --> 01:23:20,196 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm-hm-heh. 1906 01:23:23,032 --> 01:23:24,367 And there you have it. 1907 01:23:24,433 --> 01:23:26,702 The greatest story ever told. 1908 01:23:26,769 --> 01:23:28,704 Heh-heh-heh. Pretty cool, yeah, hehheh. 1909 01:23:28,771 --> 01:23:31,274 We promised those government buttholes that we wouldn't 1910 01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,951 tell anyone what happened, and they gave us 1911 01:23:32,975 --> 01:23:35,344 a brand-new TV and put our house back 1912 01:23:35,411 --> 01:23:36,979 exactly the way it was. 1913 01:23:37,046 --> 01:23:40,383 And it wasn't me, but somewhere out there, 1914 01:23:40,449 --> 01:23:41,850 there's a Beavis who scored. 1915 01:23:41,917 --> 01:23:43,452 Hm, yeah, heh-heh-heh. 1916 01:23:43,519 --> 01:23:47,323 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm, heh. 1917 01:23:47,390 --> 01:23:49,525 - Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Hm, heh-heh, heh-heh. 1918 01:24:13,649 --> 01:24:17,220 Smart Beavis and Smart Butt-Head, 1919 01:24:17,286 --> 01:24:19,054 we honor you. 1920 01:24:19,122 --> 01:24:25,794 For you, Smart Beavis, are the first among us to score. 1921 01:24:25,861 --> 01:24:29,765 And you, Smart Butt-Head, were able to watch 1922 01:24:29,832 --> 01:24:34,603 by hiding in a suitcase at the foot of the bed. 1923 01:24:34,670 --> 01:24:36,472 Serena left immediately 1924 01:24:36,539 --> 01:24:39,242 and is not returning phone calls or texts. 1925 01:24:39,308 --> 01:24:41,144 But no matter. 1926 01:24:41,210 --> 01:24:45,248 Tonight, we celebrate! 1927 01:25:54,783 --> 01:25:56,018 Chirp. 136222

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