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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:14,215 - * MTV * 4 00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:22,223 [boom] 5 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:26,327 [epic music] 6 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,696 [metal scraping] 7 00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,432 * * 8 00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:34,202 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh heh heh heh. 9 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,403 - Ow! 10 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,037 [lasers zap] 11 00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:38,272 Whoa! 12 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:39,940 - Cool. Heh heh heh heh. 13 00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,275 - Aah! 14 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:42,943 [lasers zap] 15 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,378 Aah! 16 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,879 - Hee hee hee hee. 17 00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:47,948 [lasers zapping] 18 00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:49,350 - Aah! 19 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,219 Ow! Damn it, Butt-Head. 20 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:53,721 Ow! Space sucks. 21 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,692 - Heh heh heh. That was cool. 22 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,828 [boom] 23 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,232 [epic music] 24 00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:11,439 * * 25 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:18,112 [dramatic vocalization] 26 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,614 [explosions booming] 27 00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:27,688 * * 28 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,531 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh heh heh. 29 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:44,205 - Oh, hello. I'm Butt-Head. 30 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,539 Heh heh heh. 31 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,408 - And I'm Beavis. Heh. Heh. Welcome. 32 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,809 Heh heh heh. 33 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,378 - Some of you may be wondering where 34 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,346 we've been since we saw you last. 35 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,515 Well, it's quite a tale. 36 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,685 A tale of two heroes on a quest to score, 37 00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,687 across time and space. 38 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,956 It's a story of sex, violence, power-- 39 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,259 - Yeah, and fire, heh, yeah, fire, heh. 40 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,760 Yeah, don't forget about that. 41 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,597 - It all began one ordinary day, 42 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,132 a day just like any other. 43 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,268 Heh heh. - [whacking] Ow! Ow! 44 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,237 Ow! Heh. Ow! Heh. 45 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,705 Ow...heh...ow...heh... 46 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,207 Aah! Ow! 47 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:22,142 Aah! Ow! Heh...ow! 48 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,977 - What are you two doing? 49 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,346 - Ow! Heh. 50 00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,748 - Uh...we're trying to find out how many times 51 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,251 I can kick Beavis in the nads before he passes out. 52 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,585 - Yeah, heh. 53 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:34,922 - And that's your science fair project? 54 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,089 - Uhh... 55 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,391 what science fair? 56 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:38,792 - Yeah, what's that? 57 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,461 - Heh heh - Heh heh heh. 58 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:44,432 - Well, it's too bad you didn't take this more seriously, okay? 59 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,367 The winner of the science fair this year 60 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:50,070 gets a free trip to NASA Space Camp. 61 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,339 - Whoa. 62 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,540 Space camp? 63 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:53,907 That's pretty cool, Butt-Head. 64 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,944 What if we really did do a nad-kicking 65 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,247 science experiment and, and like, 66 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,548 we did measurements 67 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,483 and we wrote stuff down with a pencil 68 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,751 like you're supposed to and-- 69 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:06,119 and maybe we could prove everybody wrong 70 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,121 and win the whole science-- 71 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,223 [whack] - Aah! 72 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,958 - Heh heh. 73 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,293 Whoa. 74 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,328 [inspirational music plays] 75 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:17,965 - Beavis, I have an idea for our science fair project. 76 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,468 Heh heh heh heh. 77 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,203 Uh, okay, now stand here. 78 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,205 - Okay. 79 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,475 - Heh heh heh. 80 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,909 - Okay. 81 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,044 You're not gonna kick me in the nads again, are you? 82 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,580 - No, I'm not, Beavis. 83 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:33,814 Those days are over. 84 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,617 - Oh, good. That's a relief. 85 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,586 That is the best news I've heard all day. 86 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:41,255 Heh heh heh. 87 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,222 What's that thing? 88 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:44,892 [screams] 89 00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,095 [crowd gasps] 90 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,663 [crack] - Aah! 91 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:53,767 - Aah! 92 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,404 Ahh--uhh-- [grunting] 93 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,705 [fire alarm rings] 94 00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,474 [coughs, grunts] - Beavis! 95 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:03,176 Beavis, what the hell are you doing? 96 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:07,047 - Did we win the science fair? - Even better, Beavis. 97 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,248 We kicked its ass. 98 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,517 Check it out. 99 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,219 - Whoa! Fire! Fire! 100 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,922 Fire! Heh. Fire! 101 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,057 - Beavis and Butt-Head, 102 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,427 this court hereby finds you guilty. 103 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,562 - Yes! - Yeah! 104 00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:22,596 Kick-ass, yeah. 105 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,733 - Please rise. 106 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,369 Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence? 107 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:31,038 - Uhh, if it like pleased the court, 108 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,573 or something? 109 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,709 In my defense, I was trying to kick Beavis in the nads. 110 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:39,580 - And I just want to say, Your Majesty, 111 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:43,016 that, um, the explosions were really cool. 112 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,319 Amen. Heh heh. 113 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,755 - Many have said, when it comes to sentencing, 114 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,623 I'm the toughest judge in the state. 115 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,091 And they're right. 116 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,961 But last night, I watched a show called 117 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:56,864 "Touched by an Angel," and it made me think. 118 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,266 When I look at these two boys today, 119 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,035 I don't see their failure. 120 00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:03,971 I see our failure. 121 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,106 - He said "touched." - Heh heh heh. 122 00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,341 - Heh, heh, yeah, heh. 123 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,677 - You boys like explosions, don't you? 124 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,311 - Uh. Yeah. 125 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,080 - And fire. Heh heh heh. 126 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,182 - Well, you know who else liked explosions? 127 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,685 Neil Armstrong. 128 00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,987 And the only difference between him and you 129 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,590 is he had the benefit of supportive families 130 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,991 and teachers. 131 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,826 - Families. Heh heh heh. 132 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:28,095 - You know what Neil Armstrong did? 133 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,196 - Did he score? 134 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,599 - He was the first man on the moon. 135 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,833 - Yeah, yeah. 136 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,267 - We never found out who 137 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,936 won that trip to space camp, 138 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,906 because the records were lost when the gym burned down. 139 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:41,375 But whoever it was is going to be fine. 140 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:45,713 They're going to go on to good colleges and fine careers. 141 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,716 So I say, why not give opportunity 142 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,018 to those who really need it 143 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,622 and unlock the potential of these two at-risk youths? 144 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,691 I hereby sentence Beavis and Butt-Head 145 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:01,361 to eight weeks of Space Camp. 146 00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,296 - O-o-oh, no! 147 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,366 [uplifting music plays] 148 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:10,170 * * 149 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,706 [indistinct chatter] 150 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,307 - Heh heh heh heh. 151 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,009 It says Johnson. 152 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,846 - Heh heh heh. - Boi-oi-oi-oing... 153 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,549 - Good morning. 154 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,216 I'm Commander Serena Ryan, 155 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,819 and I'm captain of the Space Shuttle Endeavor. 156 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,354 And I'm Jim Hartson, 157 00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,222 the lieutenant commander, which is also an important-- 158 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,958 - This week, you'll have a front row seat 159 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,326 while we prepare to take a very important mission 160 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,628 into space. - Yep. 161 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:35,929 - We're gonna bring a new 162 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,865 telescope to the Mir space station 163 00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:41,168 and use it to observe a small black hole. 164 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,670 - Hole. 165 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,071 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh. Heh. 166 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,739 - Albert Einstein and Nathan Rosen theorized 167 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,174 black holes could contain rifts 168 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,143 in the very fabric of the universe, or wormholes, 169 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,780 that could allow one to travel through time and space. 170 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,948 - Wormhole? Uh-heh-heh. 171 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:58,285 - Yeah, I always wondered how worms score. 172 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,721 - To my right here is a model of the entry port 173 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,690 of Russia's Mir Space Station, 174 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,091 where we're going to have to execute 175 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,326 a very difficult docking maneuver. 176 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,762 I'm going to turn things over to Officer Hartson now 177 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,499 and he's going to show us how it works. 178 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:15,068 [mechanical whirring] 179 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,236 - Whoa! 180 00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,305 - Oohh, yeah! 181 00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,942 [snickering] 182 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:24,011 [Mechanical whirring] [snickering] 183 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,480 - Oohh, yeah. - Whoa. 184 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,716 - Heh heh heh. 185 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,383 - Okay, space campers. 186 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,687 Now, the fun stuff-- Orbital mechanics. 187 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,422 Come on. group: Yeah! 188 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,592 - Heh heh heh heh. 189 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,762 - Heh. Heh-heh. - Heh. 190 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,766 Oohh, yeah! 191 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:48,702 [mechanical whirring] [snickering] 192 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,905 - Oohh, yeah! - Whoa! 193 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,074 [snickering continues] 194 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,510 - Oohh, yeah! - Whoa! 195 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,046 - Oh! - Whoa... 196 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,948 [snickering continues] 197 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:04,117 - Oohh, yeah. - Whoa! 198 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,087 - Oohh, yeah, get it! - Whoa. 199 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,522 - Yeah. - Heh heh heh. 200 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,790 - I hope you're not spending 201 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,759 too much with the space campers, Serena. 202 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,761 NASA has a lot riding on this mission. 203 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,529 - Hey, you guys have to see this. 204 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:16,897 It's amazing. 205 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,032 - Ooh, yeah! - It's these two kids 206 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,868 from Space Camp-- they're phenomenal! 207 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,870 They've been doing this for 18 hours 208 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,005 without food or water. 209 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,007 It's almost like they have an unhealthy 210 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,909 single-minded obsession with it. 211 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,878 - Check this out, Butt-Head. [whirring] 212 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,280 [whirring] [Beavis snickers] 213 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,088 - They're using the robotic arm 214 00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,757 as a secondary backup in case of mechanical failure. 215 00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:44,925 No one's ever thought of that. 216 00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:47,027 - Incredible. 217 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,796 - They're brilliant. 218 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,664 - Wait a minute. 219 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:54,301 What if we brought them on the mission to do the docking? 220 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,670 - You want those two to go up in space 221 00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,639 and dock the actual space shuttle 222 00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,207 to the Mir space station? 223 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,842 - And also, I thought I was gonna do that-- 224 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,110 - Think of the PR. 225 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,212 Two at-risk youths turned astronauts? 226 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:07,180 We could finally get Americans interested 227 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,582 in the space program again. 228 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,084 What do we have to lose? - Nothing, I don't think. 229 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,820 - They'll never make it through the training. 230 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,655 - But if they do? 231 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,489 - Whoa! - Yeah! 232 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,659 - We'll see. 233 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:21,161 - Oohh, yeah. - Hey, boys. 234 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,396 - Shut up! We're busy. - Let me ask you something. 235 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,399 How would you guys like to do that... 236 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,836 but do it for real? 237 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,504 - Whoa. You want us to do that... 238 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,041 for real? - Whoa. Heh heh. 239 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,777 - That's right. I want you to do that for real. 240 00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,879 In space, with me. 241 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,948 - W-w-with you? Heh. Heh. 242 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,783 - That's right. - Whoa! 243 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,151 - Yes! - Absolutely. 244 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,186 - Yes! A thousand times yes! 245 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,289 - I like your enthusiasm. But it's gonna be hard work. 246 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,892 You're gonna have to practice doing this a lot. 247 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,861 For hours, every day. 248 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,428 - Yeah, I--I already do. Yeah, heh. 249 00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,797 In the bathroom, yeah. 250 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:59,032 Sometimes, in the teacher's lounge. 251 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,634 - Heh-heh. Ma'am. 252 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:03,403 We've been waiting our entire lives for this opportunity. 253 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:04,772 We will not let you down. 254 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,840 [dramatic music] 255 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,909 - Then let's start your training. 256 00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,744 - Yeah! - Heh heh heh. 257 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:15,315 * * 258 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:16,684 - Beavis. 259 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,252 The government is about to train our schlongs. 260 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:22,422 - For all mankind. [snickers] 261 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:27,227 [mechanical whirring] - Whoa! 262 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:31,064 - Hey, Butt-Head, what part of sex does this train us for? 263 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,066 - Uh...I think it's the part 264 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,035 where your face hurts or something. 265 00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:38,906 - Oh, yeah, yeah. That's gonna be good, yeah. 266 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,042 [[echanical whirring] - Oohh, yeah. 267 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,778 [smacking sound] - Get it! Yeah, yeah! 268 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,580 [snickering] 269 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,683 [both groaning] 270 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,419 - Does everybody who scores have to do this? 271 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,121 - Uhhh...probably. 272 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,724 - Ugh. - Damn it. 273 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,225 [snickering] 274 00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:01,294 [mechanical whirring] [snickering] 275 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,866 - Not bad. 276 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,968 [airplane engines revving] 277 00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,636 - Heh-heh. Heh. 278 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,440 - Damn it, Beavis, stop barfing or you're going to 279 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,474 make me bar-- 280 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,945 [both groaning] 281 00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:21,314 - Uh... - Yeah, boy. 282 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,916 - Well, that concludes your training. 283 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,251 So what do you think? 284 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,652 Are you ready to do it? 285 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,955 - Yeah, I was ready before, but now I know how 286 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,957 to do it upside down, or something. 287 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,358 - Yeah. 288 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,093 I'm ready to do it right now, if you want. 289 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,594 - That's what I like to hear. 290 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,730 Now, go get yourselves cleaned up. 291 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:40,834 - Beavis, tomorrow, we are going to score with that lady. 292 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,036 [snickering] - In outer space? 293 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,772 - Wherever she wants it. 294 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,975 Outer space, the back of a car, I don't care. 295 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,778 - Yeah, me neither. 296 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,080 - Well? What do you think? 297 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,983 - I think NASA has a couple new astronauts. 298 00:11:56,049 --> 00:12:02,856 [uplifting music] 299 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:07,360 * * 300 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,830 [crowd cheering] 301 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,332 - Do you know how few people 302 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,467 have done what you're about to do? 303 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:15,836 - Um. No. 304 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,705 - Only 256 men and 49 women. 305 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,841 - That's a little more than I was hoping, 306 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,075 but, you know, that's okay. 307 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,044 - From 16 different countries, 308 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:26,814 ranging in age from 28-77. 309 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,549 - Jesus Christ! We get it. 310 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,119 - And that's not even counting the Russian dog and the monkey. 311 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,520 - Enough! [nervous giggling] 312 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,722 - Of course, there were some who didn't make it. 313 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,825 - We're not going to be one of those, ma'am. 314 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,960 I can assure you. 315 00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,161 - Yeah, we understand the risks. 316 00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:43,363 - Mr. Beaven. Mr. Boothroid. 317 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,266 You're the youngest astronauts ever on the space shuttle. 318 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,668 What's this moment feel like? 319 00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,503 - Oh, hold on a second. 320 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,405 I've got something I want to say. 321 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,807 Heh heh heh. 322 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,009 Um, I just wanna say 323 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,777 I've wanted to do this my whole life, 324 00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:00,914 but I never thought it would really happen, 325 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,782 and I dreamed about it every night 326 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,617 and then--and then I'd wake up 327 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:07,921 and feel ashamed and I'd try to hide it from my mom. 328 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,190 But today, my dream will come true. 329 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:11,658 - Heh heh heh. - And, um, 330 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:14,227 I just want to say that makes me the luckiest man 331 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,464 in the world. 332 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,666 [applause] 333 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,369 [crowd cheers] 334 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:25,839 - Boi-oi-oi-oing! 335 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:30,978 - 10, 9, 8, 7, 6... 336 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,846 - Counting sucks. 337 00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,714 - [snickers] 338 00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:38,251 - 2, 1, lift-off. 339 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:41,721 - Fire! Fire! Fire! 340 00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:47,394 * * 341 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:51,498 - Endeavor, you are a go for orbital operations. 342 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:54,034 [Beavis snickering] - Damn it. 343 00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,835 - I think the floor's not working. 344 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:57,537 - How are you boys doing? 345 00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,607 - Well, Serena, um, do you wanna like just do it right now? 346 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,142 or I was thinking maybe we could-- 347 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,510 - We don't need you 348 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:04,912 until we dock with the Mir in three hours. 349 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:09,116 Until then, do you wanna see something amazing? 350 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,351 [clank, whoosh] 351 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:21,194 Sunrise over Mother Earth. 352 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:24,531 Incredible, isn't it? 353 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,599 - Is it three hours yet? [giggling] 354 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,768 - This is the best view on the whole ship. 355 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,704 That's why they put the controls for the telescope here. 356 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:34,574 Don't mess with those, unless you want to risk 357 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:37,277 breaking a $2 billion piece of equipment. 358 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,914 - Now it's probably three hours, right? 359 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:42,449 [snickering] 360 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:46,386 - Take it all in while you can. Just think, all of life, 361 00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:47,955 everything we've ever known, 362 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:51,458 is down there on that beautiful blue marble. 363 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:54,627 [uplifting violin music] 364 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:58,798 * * 365 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,468 - Ehh. The Earth sucks. 366 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,171 Let's mess with those things. 367 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,173 Heh heh heh. 368 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:10,077 [mechanical whirring] 369 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:13,513 [clanging] 370 00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,285 All I see is, like, nighttime or something. 371 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,587 - Let's point it at the sun. 372 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:25,125 - Cool, yeah. Heh heh. Maybe we'll see some fire. 373 00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:28,861 [dramatic chords] 374 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,565 - Let's have a look here. See what we can see. 375 00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,368 [sizzling sounds] Aah! 376 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,938 I saw something but, like, it went away. 377 00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:41,774 - Try the other eye. You've got two of them. 378 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,111 - Oh yeah, yeah, heh. Good idea. 379 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,846 Look over here and-- aah! 380 00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:49,049 - Beavis, you can't do anything right. 381 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,817 Step aside. 382 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,554 [Butt-Head screams distantly] 383 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,459 [scream continues] 384 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:07,667 [hissing] 385 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,736 - Okay, boys. It's go time. 386 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:14,507 [boys snickering] 387 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:18,145 - It's kinda dark. - Let me help you there. 388 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,147 It can be tough, your first time in space. 389 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,349 - Thank you, ma'am. 390 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:23,650 - Are you ready to do it? 391 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,917 - Yeah, but I thought you wanted us 392 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,353 to do the docking first. 393 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,788 - Commence docking sequence. 394 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:33,826 [heroic music] 395 00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:36,996 [snickering] 396 00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:42,235 * * 397 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,871 - See? They're doing great. 398 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,906 [console beeping] 399 00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,876 [dramatic music] 400 00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:51,911 * * 401 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:53,113 [alarm beeping] 402 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,914 Wait. What are you doing? 403 00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:56,616 What are they doing? 404 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:03,956 - No, no, stop! - No, no, no-- 405 00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,396 [overlapping yelling] Beavis: What's going on? 406 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,630 [alarms beep] - Whoa! 407 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,401 [clank] - Ow! Somebody hit us! 408 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,637 [overlapping shouting] 409 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,772 [fire alarm blaring] - Fire! 410 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:22,008 - Fire! Fire! 411 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,277 Damn it, I can't see it. 412 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,915 Fire! 413 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,722 [click] - Endeavor. 414 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,724 Endeavor, can you hear me? 415 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,296 - We copy, Houston. 416 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,665 - Endeavor, your situation is critical. 417 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,201 You've lost 91% of your oxygen 418 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:51,404 and 93% of the fuel you need to return to Earth. 419 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,972 The Mir has been damaged, 420 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:55,608 causing an international incident with Russia. 421 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,077 We've missed our window to observe the black hole 422 00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:01,581 which will next be this close to Earth in 34 trillion years. 423 00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,316 Also... [static] 424 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,689 - And now we've lost comms with Earth. 425 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,023 - Uhh... 426 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,625 well, if you're looking for some good news, 427 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:15,128 I can see again. [snickering] 428 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,996 - Yeah, we're ready to try the docking now. 429 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,566 - Looks like you guys got in a wreck. 430 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,668 - Heh-heh. Yeah, what happened? 431 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,636 - We're gonna make it back to Earth. 432 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,205 I promise you that. 433 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:26,806 But here's the problem. 434 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,575 I don't know how to say this, 435 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:29,676 so I'm just gonna get right to it. 436 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,043 There are seven of us, 437 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,480 and we only have enough oxygen for five people 438 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,981 to make it home alive. 439 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,083 So we all have a decision to make. 440 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:41,854 Two people need to sacrifice themselves. 441 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,823 - Um, heh. Now, look, um, heh. 442 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,626 I-I think we're all thinking the same thing here. 443 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,295 Can we put the TV back on? 444 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:51,631 - Yeah, but something cool this time, 'cause that show sucked. 445 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:54,634 - Yeah, yeah, really. "You have no oxygen." 446 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,403 Blah, blah, blah, blah. - No, we can't put 447 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,171 the TV back on-- that was our last 448 00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,606 communication with Earth. 449 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,674 - You know... - Captain, if I can make 450 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,810 a suggestion-- - Guys. 451 00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,078 I volunteer. 452 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,481 - Captain, no. - You can't be serious. 453 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,517 - I'm the captain of this ship. 454 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,685 It would be easy to blame our predicament 455 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,388 on the mistakes of two absolute idiots. 456 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,524 - Boy, I'm glad you said it and not us. 457 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,492 Heh-heh. - Yeah, really. 458 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,861 Where'd you find these two dumbasses? 459 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:25,632 - No, you! I'm clearly talking about you. 460 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,335 But I chose you for this mission. 461 00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:29,836 And ultimately, 462 00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,705 the responsibility lies with me. 463 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,541 - I'll volunteer too. 464 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,409 If this is the end, 465 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,778 I wanna make it count for something. 466 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,981 - End. [snickering] 467 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:45,518 - I'm gonna put on my suit and take one last spacewalk. 468 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,955 It's how I always wanted to go. 469 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:52,392 - Wait a minute, where's she going? 470 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,160 Is it time to score? Heh heh heh. 471 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,963 - Beavis, they put us in this rocket thing 472 00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:00,199 for one reason: to score with Serena. 473 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:03,536 It's gonna be one giant leap for our schlongs. 474 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:06,239 - Yeah, for all mankind. [both snickering] 475 00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:10,610 [sentimental music] 476 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:11,844 - Uh, Serena? 477 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,480 - What? 478 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:16,649 - I-I just wanted to thank you for choosing us for this honor. 479 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,117 I know I'm not the first guy 480 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:20,587 most people would pick, but you did and... 481 00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:23,323 and I'll be thankful for the rest of my life. 482 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,791 [snickering] That's all. 483 00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:28,194 - Your actions this day will not soon be forgotten. 484 00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:31,197 - Maybe I misjudged you two. 485 00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,799 Listen. 486 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:37,437 This belonged to my grandmother. She used to tell me, 487 00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,539 "Keep dreaming your dreams." - Mm-hmm. 488 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,874 - "One day, they might just come true." 489 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:44,444 - Ha. - I want you to have it. 490 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:45,912 - Okay. Heh. 491 00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,915 - Watch me through the window, doing what I love. 492 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,783 One last time. 493 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,785 My dream's over... - Uh-huh. 494 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:56,222 - But I hope someday your dream comes true. 495 00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:01,060 I've gotta go put on my suit. 496 00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:05,632 - Whoa, she wants us to watch her change through the window. 497 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:06,899 Heh heh heh heh. 498 00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,501 - Are you sure about that, Butt-Head? 499 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,737 - Of course, dumbass. You heard her. 500 00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,271 She said watch me through the window 501 00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:13,573 and your dreams will come true. 502 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,074 - Oh yeah. 503 00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:17,510 - And she gave us this bracelet to seal the deal. 504 00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:20,012 - Yeah. [snickering] 505 00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:24,351 [whoosh] 506 00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:29,622 [snickering over transmitter] 507 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,624 Oh, yeah. Heh. 508 00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:35,161 [soft, emotional music] 509 00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:42,034 * * 510 00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:46,873 [silent snickering] - Are you shitting me? 511 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,844 [dramatic chords] 512 00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:55,382 Okay. I've had enough of these dickheads. 513 00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:58,551 [mechanical whirring] 514 00:22:02,522 --> 00:22:03,790 [whack] 515 00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:06,526 - Enjoy space. 516 00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:08,194 - Now that I'm about to be captain, 517 00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:10,830 things are gonna be a little different around here. 518 00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:12,865 First of all--oh. Hello! 519 00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:15,635 - I have some extremely distressing news to share. 520 00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:17,770 Specialist Beavis and Specialist Butt-Head 521 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,806 made the very brave and noble decision 522 00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,974 to sacrifice themselves. 523 00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:25,745 - Oh, that's awful. - What a tragedy. 524 00:22:25,812 --> 00:22:28,615 - So, no reason for me to volunteer, then? 525 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,383 Okay. 526 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:33,119 Just so we're clear, then... I un-volunteer. 527 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,221 I did volunteer, you know. For the record. 528 00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:36,723 You can tell people. 529 00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:41,594 [boys continue snickering] 530 00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:43,295 [thud] - Aah! 531 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,297 - Aah! - Ohh-- 532 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,900 - Believe me, I tried to talk them out of it. 533 00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:50,169 But they felt it was the right thing to do, 534 00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:53,205 and they left the airlock before I could stop them. 535 00:22:53,272 --> 00:22:55,742 - Oh, no-- - But while their tragically, 536 00:22:55,808 --> 00:22:58,144 brief lives may be over, 537 00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,947 they will live forever in our memories. 538 00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:04,484 [snickering over radio] 539 00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:07,253 Yeah. [snickering] 540 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,130 - The elaborate dance of seduction continues. 541 00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:21,233 - Yeah, she really knows how to build the anticipation. 542 00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,536 You know what I'm saying? 543 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:26,539 Whoa! Um, Butt-Head? 544 00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:27,907 What is that thing? 545 00:23:27,974 --> 00:23:31,243 It feels like sucking us in or something. 546 00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:35,214 - Uh...it looks like some kind of gigantic hole. 547 00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:39,218 And it's black. Wait a minute, Beavis. 548 00:23:39,285 --> 00:23:41,053 I think I know what kind of hole this is. 549 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:42,789 - Really? 550 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:44,223 - It's a butthole. [snickers] 551 00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:46,959 - No, no, no. No way. No thanks. 552 00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:49,295 I don't want to die in a butthole! 553 00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:53,633 I have dreams about it all the time--no! No way! 554 00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:55,602 - Settle down, Beavis. - Uh-oh-ahh! 555 00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:58,404 [screams echo] 556 00:24:03,743 --> 00:24:06,813 - Aah! - Aah! 557 00:24:14,420 --> 00:24:17,890 [eerie music] 558 00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:20,927 [both coughing] 559 00:24:24,430 --> 00:24:25,765 - Umm, Butt-Head. 560 00:24:25,832 --> 00:24:27,399 Where are we? 561 00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:32,572 - Uh...I don't know. - Are we still in space? 562 00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:35,441 - Whoa, Beavis. You're not gonna believe this. 563 00:24:35,508 --> 00:24:38,477 Look at that number, up there on the billboard. 564 00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:39,779 - Let's see, um--heh. 565 00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:43,115 There's a two. And then, um, some kind of circle. 566 00:24:43,182 --> 00:24:44,717 And I don't know what that is, 567 00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:46,085 I've never seen one of those before. 568 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:47,720 - No, dumbass. Not that number. 569 00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:49,455 That one. 570 00:24:49,522 --> 00:24:51,123 69. 571 00:24:51,190 --> 00:24:54,160 [snickers] 572 00:24:54,226 --> 00:24:58,430 - Um, so anyway, um, are we still in space, though? 573 00:24:58,497 --> 00:24:59,866 [snickers] 574 00:24:59,932 --> 00:25:04,136 - Whoa, Beavis. Look, it's Serena. 575 00:25:04,203 --> 00:25:06,072 - Whoa! 576 00:25:06,138 --> 00:25:08,340 - I guess she like made a big sign so we'd remember 577 00:25:08,407 --> 00:25:10,376 we're supposed to score with her. 578 00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:11,678 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 579 00:25:11,744 --> 00:25:13,546 You know, that's really thoughtful of her, 580 00:25:13,613 --> 00:25:15,848 she's a really nice lady. 581 00:25:15,915 --> 00:25:17,817 - Well, let's go do her. 582 00:25:17,884 --> 00:25:20,953 [military drums] 583 00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:24,223 * * 584 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:27,594 - The missing nuke is somewhere here in the Caucasus Mountains. 585 00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:29,796 It is our nation's highest priority to find it. 586 00:25:29,862 --> 00:25:31,898 - It's happened. 587 00:25:31,964 --> 00:25:34,100 - Excuse me. 588 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:37,469 - We've detected a major space-time breach 589 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:38,838 in American airspace. 590 00:25:38,905 --> 00:25:40,673 - My God. 591 00:25:40,740 --> 00:25:42,541 - And something came through it-- 592 00:25:42,609 --> 00:25:44,210 two lifeforms. 593 00:25:44,276 --> 00:25:47,279 - Who could it be? The Chinese...Russia? 594 00:25:47,346 --> 00:25:49,081 - Or aliens. 595 00:25:49,148 --> 00:25:51,684 - This is why we needed that space telescope 596 00:25:51,751 --> 00:25:54,486 to observe the black hole in '98--damn it! 597 00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:55,722 Whatever they are, 598 00:25:55,788 --> 00:25:57,790 we need to get down there and find them. 599 00:25:57,857 --> 00:25:59,592 - And dissect them. 600 00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:02,995 - Get Alpha Team on the plane. We're wheels up in five minutes. 601 00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:06,899 [dramatic music] 602 00:26:06,966 --> 00:26:10,302 [eerie music] 603 00:26:10,369 --> 00:26:13,472 * * 604 00:26:13,539 --> 00:26:14,974 - That's better. 605 00:26:15,041 --> 00:26:17,276 - You can't score with these things on. 606 00:26:20,012 --> 00:26:21,848 - Greetings, Beavis and Butt-Head. 607 00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:24,150 - We bring you a grave warning. 608 00:26:24,216 --> 00:26:28,520 - Uh...who are you fart knockers? 609 00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:31,057 - We are you, from what your primitive planet 610 00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,092 would call an "alternate universe." 611 00:26:33,159 --> 00:26:35,461 - A what? - An alternate universe. 612 00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:38,430 - Uh...a what? 613 00:26:38,497 --> 00:26:42,635 - Um, did you see the cartoon Spider-Man movie, per chance? 614 00:26:42,702 --> 00:26:45,037 - Uh...no. - Oh. 615 00:26:45,104 --> 00:26:47,606 That would have made explaining it a lot easier. 616 00:26:47,674 --> 00:26:50,309 - Our names are unknowable to your puny brains. 617 00:26:50,376 --> 00:26:52,411 But you may call us Smart Beavis 618 00:26:52,478 --> 00:26:53,980 and Smart Butt-Head. 619 00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:55,682 - You see, in infinite universes, 620 00:26:55,748 --> 00:26:58,250 there are infinite iterations of every person. 621 00:26:58,317 --> 00:27:01,087 Every possible version of you exists, 622 00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:04,356 and we are the most intelligent versions. 623 00:27:04,423 --> 00:27:08,160 - Uh...did any of the other versions ever score? 624 00:27:08,227 --> 00:27:09,628 - No. [dramatic chord] 625 00:27:09,696 --> 00:27:12,431 No version of Beavis and Butt-Head has ever scored. 626 00:27:12,498 --> 00:27:15,267 - That is true in every reality. 627 00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:16,736 - Cool. 628 00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:18,637 We're gonna be the first ones. 629 00:27:18,705 --> 00:27:20,006 - Oh, yeah. 630 00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:21,407 - Humorous, quite humorous. Yes. 631 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,509 - Droll, very droll, yes. Whimsical. 632 00:27:23,575 --> 00:27:26,378 - That is amusing, yes. Quite jocular, yes. 633 00:27:26,445 --> 00:27:28,214 - Mirthful, yes. [boys snickering] 634 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,182 - Okay, that's enough frivolity. 635 00:27:30,249 --> 00:27:31,684 When you went through the black hole, 636 00:27:31,751 --> 00:27:33,853 you traveled through a five-dimensional portal 637 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,421 in space and time. 638 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,689 - But in so doing, 639 00:27:36,756 --> 00:27:38,925 you damaged the delicate structure of the cosmos. 640 00:27:38,991 --> 00:27:40,860 - Damage is cool. 641 00:27:40,927 --> 00:27:42,729 - And now, both of our universes 642 00:27:42,795 --> 00:27:44,731 face total destruction. 643 00:27:44,797 --> 00:27:46,766 - And so we come to you for help. 644 00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:48,234 - There's a space-time portal 645 00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:49,936 that will return you to your time. 646 00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:53,405 - You must enter this portal before it closes in two days, 647 00:27:53,472 --> 00:27:57,343 or everything you have ever known will be gone forever. 648 00:27:57,409 --> 00:27:59,445 - The portal is located on the highest point 649 00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:02,548 on your planet, atop your "Mount Everest." 650 00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:04,250 - This is your quest. 651 00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:06,685 - You have exactly two days. 652 00:28:06,753 --> 00:28:08,254 May science be with you. 653 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,923 - You said "mount," Smart Beavis. 654 00:28:10,990 --> 00:28:12,258 - Yes, their primitive language 655 00:28:12,324 --> 00:28:14,060 has two meanings for that word, yes. 656 00:28:14,126 --> 00:28:15,227 - Humorous, quite jocular. 657 00:28:15,294 --> 00:28:17,496 - Very droll and whimsical, yes, yes. 658 00:28:19,398 --> 00:28:22,068 - What did they say? - Uhh. I don't know. 659 00:28:22,134 --> 00:28:25,671 I think they were like British or something. 660 00:28:25,738 --> 00:28:27,573 Okay, now let's go score. 661 00:28:27,639 --> 00:28:29,141 [snickering] 662 00:28:30,142 --> 00:28:31,944 - Um, we're here for Serena. 663 00:28:32,011 --> 00:28:33,846 - She probably told you about us. 664 00:28:33,913 --> 00:28:35,681 So if you can just like, you know, 665 00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:37,683 tell her we're ready to get down with it. 666 00:28:37,750 --> 00:28:38,951 Heh heh heh heh. 667 00:28:39,018 --> 00:28:40,987 - Okay, so you want to volunteer? 668 00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,790 Maybe do some canvassing for Serena? 669 00:28:43,856 --> 00:28:45,491 - Canvassing? 670 00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:47,393 We've never done this before, so like, 671 00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:49,695 maybe just, you know, the regular way. 672 00:28:49,762 --> 00:28:51,697 - I wanna volunteer my wiener. 673 00:28:51,764 --> 00:28:53,099 [snickering] 674 00:28:53,165 --> 00:28:55,101 - Why don't we just step over here 675 00:28:55,167 --> 00:28:56,836 so we can get a picture of you two. 676 00:28:56,903 --> 00:28:58,838 - Do we need to, like, take our clothes off or something? 677 00:28:58,905 --> 00:28:59,972 - Yeah. 678 00:29:00,039 --> 00:29:01,607 - We're gonna score! 679 00:29:01,673 --> 00:29:02,775 [camera lens clicks] 680 00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:04,643 * * 681 00:29:04,710 --> 00:29:06,578 - Oh, these polls are horseshit. 682 00:29:06,645 --> 00:29:08,881 Can you remind me why I'm paying you 683 00:29:08,948 --> 00:29:10,549 to get me re-elected governor? 684 00:29:10,616 --> 00:29:13,685 - And me re-elected lieutenant governor, which is also-- 685 00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,554 - Well, Governor, our new strategy is youth outreach. 686 00:29:15,621 --> 00:29:17,089 - Youth outreach. - Our campaign teams 687 00:29:17,156 --> 00:29:18,390 have been recruiting young volunteers 688 00:29:18,457 --> 00:29:19,725 to use for a new ad campaign. 689 00:29:19,792 --> 00:29:21,961 We brought some pictures for you to look at. 690 00:29:22,028 --> 00:29:23,863 - Pictures, okay. - No, no. 691 00:29:23,930 --> 00:29:25,597 Loser. Eww. 692 00:29:25,664 --> 00:29:27,666 No. 693 00:29:27,733 --> 00:29:30,569 [dramatic chords] 694 00:29:30,636 --> 00:29:32,538 Clear the room. 695 00:29:35,374 --> 00:29:37,309 - I'm assuming you wanted me to stay, 696 00:29:37,376 --> 00:29:38,677 because I'm second in command. 697 00:29:38,744 --> 00:29:40,212 - Look at this. 698 00:29:40,279 --> 00:29:42,148 They look exactly like those kids I killed 699 00:29:42,214 --> 00:29:43,715 on the mission in '98. 700 00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:45,751 - Wow. They really do. 701 00:29:45,818 --> 00:29:48,254 But they can't be the same kids--that's impossible. 702 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,423 - It's them. I know it. 703 00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:55,828 I spent three weeks stranded in space because of those two, 704 00:29:55,895 --> 00:29:57,629 certain I would die. 705 00:29:57,696 --> 00:29:59,598 Drinking my own urine. 706 00:29:59,665 --> 00:30:02,201 We had to eat flight specialist Jung. 707 00:30:02,268 --> 00:30:04,270 - Yeah, I didn't actually get to eat any-- 708 00:30:04,336 --> 00:30:05,537 - And then 24 years 709 00:30:05,604 --> 00:30:07,406 haunted that I had killed two people, 710 00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:09,675 that the world would find out what I'd done. 711 00:30:09,741 --> 00:30:11,777 - Yes, sometimes I wish I didn't know that 712 00:30:11,844 --> 00:30:13,880 because it sorta puts me in a tricky position 713 00:30:13,946 --> 00:30:15,347 going-to-jail-wise. 714 00:30:15,414 --> 00:30:17,349 - They must have fallen into the black hole somehow. 715 00:30:17,416 --> 00:30:19,886 Traveled through an Einstein-Rosen wormhole. 716 00:30:19,952 --> 00:30:21,753 - That's amazing. 717 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:23,422 I mean, we have to tell the scientific community-- 718 00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:25,892 - We have to kill them before they tell everyone what I did. 719 00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:28,260 - Right kill them. Yep. Mm-hmm, no, that's what I meant. 720 00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:29,495 That's yeah, okay, good. 721 00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:30,829 - I just hope we're not too late. 722 00:30:30,897 --> 00:30:32,131 Get the helicopter. 723 00:30:32,198 --> 00:30:34,200 Tell them I'm gonna go visit some sick-- 724 00:30:34,266 --> 00:30:37,269 I don't know-- veterans or dogs. 725 00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:39,538 - Why wasn't she there, Butt-Head? 726 00:30:39,605 --> 00:30:41,240 Why would she put up a big picture 727 00:30:41,307 --> 00:30:43,209 of herself and then not be there? 728 00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:45,811 - Uh...it's a little game she's playing. 729 00:30:45,878 --> 00:30:48,047 She wants us to chase her. 730 00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:51,083 - Oh yeah. Here we come. 731 00:30:51,150 --> 00:30:53,385 - Excuse me. Excuse me. 732 00:30:53,452 --> 00:30:55,821 Please would you to take this? 733 00:30:55,888 --> 00:30:57,990 - Uh, take it? - Yes. 734 00:30:58,057 --> 00:30:59,325 - Okay. 735 00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:04,196 - No, you hold like this and look here. 736 00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:06,765 - Whoa. Check it out, Beavis. 737 00:31:06,832 --> 00:31:09,735 That guy just gave us a cool little TV. 738 00:31:09,801 --> 00:31:12,804 - Heh. Do you have any bigger TVs? 739 00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:15,741 - Uh, this show sucks. 740 00:31:15,807 --> 00:31:18,744 It's like just these fat people standing there. 741 00:31:18,810 --> 00:31:21,647 - I don't know, Butt-Head. It's not that bad. Heh heh. 742 00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:23,149 - Is good? 743 00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:24,716 Should we back up? 744 00:31:24,783 --> 00:31:27,019 - Uh, Okay. 745 00:31:27,086 --> 00:31:29,521 - Like this or more backing up? 746 00:31:29,588 --> 00:31:31,123 - Uh... 747 00:31:31,190 --> 00:31:33,059 We're trying to watch TV. 748 00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:36,295 - Like thi--ahh! 749 00:31:36,362 --> 00:31:40,532 [both snickering] 750 00:31:40,599 --> 00:31:42,068 - That was cool. 751 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:44,403 - Yeah, it's like the show really found itself, you know. 752 00:31:44,470 --> 00:31:47,273 Glad we stuck with it. 753 00:31:50,476 --> 00:31:53,845 - Uh, we want some nachos, but we don't have any money. 754 00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:56,215 - So why don't you just pay with your phone? 755 00:31:56,282 --> 00:31:58,617 - Uh...you mean this thing? 756 00:31:58,684 --> 00:32:01,220 - Here. I'll show you, what's your password? 757 00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:03,956 - Ehh, password? 758 00:32:04,023 --> 00:32:06,792 - Your password is password. 759 00:32:06,858 --> 00:32:10,029 That's original. 760 00:32:10,496 --> 00:32:14,466 - Whoa, we just paid for that with this? 761 00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:16,335 - Yeah, you can pay for anything with your phone. 762 00:32:16,402 --> 00:32:18,737 - Whoa. Anything? 763 00:32:18,804 --> 00:32:21,540 - That's right. Anything at all. 764 00:32:21,607 --> 00:32:24,476 - Beavis, this changes everything. 765 00:32:24,543 --> 00:32:26,578 [Fat Joe's "Make it Rain"] 766 00:32:26,645 --> 00:32:28,047 - * Shit, Scottie, shit * 767 00:32:28,114 --> 00:32:30,082 * Let's make it rain on these niggas * 768 00:32:30,149 --> 00:32:32,084 * * 769 00:32:32,151 --> 00:32:34,353 * Yeah, I'm in this business of terror * 770 00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:37,489 * Got a handful of stacks, better grab an umbrella * 771 00:32:37,556 --> 00:32:39,058 * I make it rain, I make it rain * 772 00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:40,759 * I'm in this business of terror * 773 00:32:40,826 --> 00:32:42,761 * Got a handful of stacks * 774 00:32:42,828 --> 00:32:44,296 * Better grab an umbrella * 775 00:32:44,363 --> 00:32:45,597 * I make it rain, I make it rain * 776 00:32:45,664 --> 00:32:47,266 * Make it rain on them hos * 777 00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:49,001 * I make it rain, I make it rain * 778 00:32:49,068 --> 00:32:51,237 * I make it rain on them hos, I make it rain * 779 00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,572 * I make it rain, I make it rain on them hos * 780 00:32:53,639 --> 00:32:55,507 * I make it rain, I make it rain * 781 00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:57,109 * I make it rain on them hos * 782 00:32:57,176 --> 00:32:59,678 * Cr-cr-crack crack crack crack crack * 783 00:32:59,745 --> 00:33:01,113 * You hear the echo * 784 00:33:01,180 --> 00:33:02,548 * Man, I seen the best go * 785 00:33:02,614 --> 00:33:04,016 * Cuz he ain't had that metal * 786 00:33:04,083 --> 00:33:05,717 * I'm a hustla hustla * 787 00:33:05,784 --> 00:33:07,353 * A pusher's pusher * [commotion] 788 00:33:07,419 --> 00:33:09,088 - Ugh! - * You busta customer * 789 00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:10,522 * I get you sum cooka * 790 00:33:10,589 --> 00:33:12,224 * Yeah, crack is a chemist * 791 00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:13,959 * I pack an 11 * 792 00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:15,494 * I'm mackin' a 7 * 793 00:33:15,561 --> 00:33:17,263 * I clap at your reverend * 794 00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:18,664 * I'll see you in NY * 795 00:33:18,730 --> 00:33:20,099 * I'll send you an invite... * 796 00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:21,333 [snickering, slurping slushie] 797 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,802 [dramatic musical sting] 798 00:33:23,869 --> 00:33:26,638 - Sir, based on eyewitness interviews, 799 00:33:26,705 --> 00:33:28,740 we've made a composite sketch of the life forms. 800 00:33:30,809 --> 00:33:33,845 - Whatever they are, they're definitely not human. 801 00:33:36,715 --> 00:33:40,619 - Uh, send up 100 more orders of nachos. 802 00:33:40,686 --> 00:33:43,989 - Hey Butt-Head, this phone kicks ass and everything. 803 00:33:44,056 --> 00:33:45,924 But we need to find Serena. 804 00:33:45,991 --> 00:33:47,526 - Shut up, Beavis. 805 00:33:47,593 --> 00:33:49,395 I'm speaking with the nacho man. 806 00:33:49,461 --> 00:33:50,796 [snickers] 807 00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:53,532 You see what I have to deal with? 808 00:33:53,599 --> 00:33:56,468 - Hey, seriously. Siri: How can I help you? 809 00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:59,371 - Whoa, um, who is this? 810 00:33:59,438 --> 00:34:01,640 - I'm Siri. I'm here to help. 811 00:34:01,707 --> 00:34:03,409 - It's Serena. Hey Butt-Head. 812 00:34:03,475 --> 00:34:04,410 Butt-Head! - Damn it, Beavis, 813 00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:06,678 I told you to shut up. 814 00:34:06,745 --> 00:34:11,383 Do those nachos come with side orders of nachos? 815 00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:13,552 - Hey, hello. 816 00:34:13,619 --> 00:34:16,622 - How can I help you? - Hey, how's it going? Yeah. 817 00:34:16,688 --> 00:34:18,624 Good to talk to you. Yeah. 818 00:34:18,690 --> 00:34:21,793 So, um, I was wondering, um, you know, like, um, 819 00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:24,163 when we're going to score you know? 820 00:34:24,230 --> 00:34:27,399 - Notre Dame is losing to Alabama 7 to 0. 821 00:34:27,466 --> 00:34:29,101 - Yeah, that's interesting. 822 00:34:29,168 --> 00:34:31,903 Um, so um, I know you probably like Butt-Head more, 823 00:34:31,970 --> 00:34:34,540 but I was thinking-- - I don't understand Butt-Head. 824 00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:36,675 - Yeah, me neither. 825 00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:38,944 Like, he thinks he can tell me what to do, 826 00:34:39,010 --> 00:34:41,580 and he's always trying to kick my ass for no reason. 827 00:34:41,647 --> 00:34:43,282 And it just gets old after a while. 828 00:34:43,349 --> 00:34:45,284 You know? I'm tired of it. 829 00:34:45,351 --> 00:34:47,419 - How can I help you? 830 00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:49,921 - Oh, just you know, like, listening you know, 831 00:34:49,988 --> 00:34:51,590 helps a lot. 832 00:34:51,657 --> 00:34:53,225 I guess I never really had anybody, you know, like to 833 00:34:53,292 --> 00:34:56,162 actually listen like when I'm talking and stuff, you know? 834 00:34:56,228 --> 00:34:57,329 Heh heh heh. 835 00:34:57,396 --> 00:34:59,531 Like nobody hears the real Beavis. 836 00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:01,433 You know what I'm saying? 837 00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,369 - I don't understand Beavis. 838 00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:05,304 - You know, neither do I sometimes. 839 00:35:05,371 --> 00:35:08,907 Yeah. Neither do I. [giggling] 840 00:35:08,974 --> 00:35:11,510 - And don't skimp on the nacho cheese sauce, 841 00:35:11,577 --> 00:35:13,279 or I'm talking to the manager. 842 00:35:13,345 --> 00:35:15,247 Ugh. 843 00:35:15,314 --> 00:35:18,817 Beavis? Beavis? 844 00:35:18,884 --> 00:35:21,052 - You know, it's like sometimes when I talk to you, 845 00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:23,522 you know, I have this like strange feeling. 846 00:35:23,589 --> 00:35:26,692 It's like I'm happy and sad at the same time. 847 00:35:26,758 --> 00:35:28,394 I don't know what it means. 848 00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:30,496 - Do you want me to search the web? 849 00:35:30,562 --> 00:35:34,366 - Yeah, spider webs kick ass. Yeah. 850 00:35:34,433 --> 00:35:36,768 Maybe we can search for some. Yeah. 851 00:35:36,835 --> 00:35:39,371 - A spider web is a structure created by a spider 852 00:35:39,438 --> 00:35:41,173 out of proteinaceous spider silk. 853 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:42,508 - [sighs] 854 00:35:42,574 --> 00:35:45,511 It feels good to talk. 855 00:35:45,577 --> 00:35:48,013 - Open the door, butthole. 856 00:35:48,079 --> 00:35:50,749 - I don't understand butthole. - Leave us alone! 857 00:35:50,816 --> 00:35:52,484 - Damn it, Beavis, are you talking to Serena? 858 00:35:52,551 --> 00:35:54,085 Unlock the door now! 859 00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,821 - I can't unlock the door. 860 00:35:55,887 --> 00:35:57,856 First you need to set up the Home app. 861 00:35:57,923 --> 00:35:59,625 Would you like me to help you set up your home? 862 00:35:59,691 --> 00:36:02,294 - Wait a minute. You're in our home? 863 00:36:02,361 --> 00:36:05,264 - Would you like me to help you set up your home? 864 00:36:05,331 --> 00:36:07,533 - Butt-Head, she's at the house! 865 00:36:07,599 --> 00:36:10,602 We need to go home right now so we can score. 866 00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:14,940 - Notre Dame is losing to Alabama 17-10. 867 00:36:15,441 --> 00:36:19,445 Walking directions to 322 Woodson St., Highland, Texas. 868 00:36:19,511 --> 00:36:21,447 - [snickers] 869 00:36:21,513 --> 00:36:24,550 Wood. [both giggling] 870 00:36:24,616 --> 00:36:27,085 - Your trip will take 167 hours. 871 00:36:27,152 --> 00:36:30,622 - We'll be there before sunset, Beavis. 872 00:36:35,327 --> 00:36:37,596 - We just missed them, sir. 873 00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:42,368 - They wanted us to find this. 874 00:36:42,434 --> 00:36:44,470 [Geiger counter ticks] 875 00:36:45,437 --> 00:36:48,574 - Definitely not human. 876 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,008 - They paid for the room with a phone, 877 00:36:50,075 --> 00:36:52,511 so we were able to get a recording of their voices. 878 00:36:52,578 --> 00:36:55,647 - Woodson. [snickers] 879 00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:58,517 You have wood, son. 880 00:36:58,584 --> 00:36:59,951 Boing. [laughing] 881 00:37:00,018 --> 00:37:01,820 - It's crude, but they're learning 882 00:37:01,887 --> 00:37:03,722 to approximate human speech. 883 00:37:03,789 --> 00:37:06,692 I'll know more when I dissect their mouthparts. 884 00:37:06,758 --> 00:37:08,093 - We've got GPS lock on the phone. 885 00:37:08,159 --> 00:37:09,094 - Let's move. 886 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,096 - Governor, oh, my gosh, 887 00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:13,332 I can't believe I finally get to meet you. 888 00:37:13,399 --> 00:37:14,733 - And I'm the lieuten-- 889 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,202 - I'm just so interested in all my young supporters, 890 00:37:17,269 --> 00:37:19,571 but particularly these two. 891 00:37:19,638 --> 00:37:21,440 - Oh, them. 892 00:37:21,507 --> 00:37:23,442 - Did they say anything about me? 893 00:37:23,509 --> 00:37:25,777 Or tell you why they were here? 894 00:37:25,844 --> 00:37:28,146 - No. Mostly they just laughed a lot. 895 00:37:28,213 --> 00:37:30,316 From the minute I introduced myself. 896 00:37:30,382 --> 00:37:32,518 - Introduced yourself? 897 00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:34,286 What's your name? 898 00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:35,487 - I'm Richard Whack. 899 00:37:35,554 --> 00:37:38,156 [dramatic music] - Dick Whack. 900 00:37:38,223 --> 00:37:40,659 - Well, I've always gone by Richard for that very rea-- 901 00:37:40,726 --> 00:37:43,061 - It really is them. - Damm it. 902 00:37:43,128 --> 00:37:45,997 Order a roadblock on all roads leading out of town. 903 00:37:46,064 --> 00:37:47,833 Say it's--do people still care about terrorism? 904 00:37:47,899 --> 00:37:50,201 - I do, Governor. - Let's go with that. 905 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,237 - And so does the whole Whack family. 906 00:37:52,304 --> 00:37:55,273 - Um, Butt-Head, um, I was wondering something, um... 907 00:37:55,341 --> 00:37:57,643 I had a conversation with this chick one time. 908 00:37:57,709 --> 00:38:00,078 And so, um, I was wondering, um, 909 00:38:00,145 --> 00:38:03,248 how do you know when you're like, in love? 910 00:38:03,315 --> 00:38:04,783 You know, what I'm saying? 911 00:38:04,850 --> 00:38:07,118 - What wuss-ass thing did you just say, Beavis? 912 00:38:07,185 --> 00:38:09,120 - Uh, never mind, never mind. [snickers] 913 00:38:09,187 --> 00:38:11,056 I'm just gonna take a whiz, Butt-Head. 914 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:13,024 I'll just go ahead and get that from you. 915 00:38:13,091 --> 00:38:15,260 Be right back. - Uh, okay. 916 00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:17,529 - Hey, Serena. How's it going? 917 00:38:17,596 --> 00:38:19,431 [phone chimes] - I'm happy to be here. 918 00:38:19,498 --> 00:38:22,267 - It's good to hear your voice. 919 00:38:22,334 --> 00:38:23,702 - I can't change my voice. 920 00:38:23,769 --> 00:38:25,471 But you can do it yourself in settings. 921 00:38:25,537 --> 00:38:27,873 - Oh, no, no, no, I like your voice. 922 00:38:27,939 --> 00:38:31,142 I just want to say, you know, like, um, 923 00:38:31,209 --> 00:38:33,379 we were eating some nachos, you know? 924 00:38:33,445 --> 00:38:35,447 And I love nachos, you know? 925 00:38:35,514 --> 00:38:38,283 And then, um, and then I was thinking about you and me. 926 00:38:38,350 --> 00:38:42,220 And I just want to say that I also love, um, 927 00:38:42,287 --> 00:38:44,055 I mean-- 928 00:38:44,122 --> 00:38:46,257 - I didn't get that. Could you try again? 929 00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:48,326 - You know what I'm talking about though, right? 930 00:38:48,394 --> 00:38:51,997 You know, it's a word that starts with an L, I think, 931 00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:55,601 or something, I mean, maybe you could say it first. 932 00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:57,168 I mean, you know, if you want to. 933 00:38:57,235 --> 00:38:58,804 [snickers] 934 00:38:58,870 --> 00:39:01,239 - Sorry, I'm having trouble connecting to the network. 935 00:39:01,306 --> 00:39:04,175 - Uh-huh. And? And? 936 00:39:04,242 --> 00:39:05,677 [banging on door] - Damn it, Beavis. 937 00:39:05,744 --> 00:39:07,746 You better not be talking to Serena in there. 938 00:39:07,813 --> 00:39:10,248 - No, no, I'm just spanking my monkey. 939 00:39:10,315 --> 00:39:11,783 - You better be. 940 00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:13,885 - I don't understand spanking my monkey. 941 00:39:13,952 --> 00:39:16,988 - Damn it, Beavis, you lying son of a bitch. 942 00:39:17,055 --> 00:39:18,957 [grunting] 943 00:39:20,158 --> 00:39:23,161 - Anyway, Serena, I was just gonna say, 944 00:39:23,228 --> 00:39:24,730 and I've never said this 945 00:39:24,796 --> 00:39:27,566 to any girl before but, um... 946 00:39:27,633 --> 00:39:30,268 I--I love-- 947 00:39:31,970 --> 00:39:33,472 - Damn it! - No, no, no. 948 00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:34,506 [splash] 949 00:39:34,573 --> 00:39:35,974 [echoes] No! 950 00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:38,009 - We just lost the phone signal. 951 00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:39,144 - Damn it! 952 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:41,346 - You dumbass. 953 00:39:41,413 --> 00:39:44,683 Now get it before it gets all covered with turds. 954 00:39:46,117 --> 00:39:48,620 - I don't see it, Butt-Head. Maybe it's deeper in. 955 00:39:48,687 --> 00:39:50,489 If I can just get-- 956 00:39:50,556 --> 00:39:53,091 [screams] Get me out of here! 957 00:39:53,158 --> 00:39:56,394 - Do you see it now? - It stinks! 958 00:39:56,462 --> 00:39:58,930 - Damn it, Beavis, you gotta really get down there. 959 00:39:58,997 --> 00:40:01,132 You're not even trying. - Come on. Help me. 960 00:40:01,199 --> 00:40:04,636 - Uh, okay, Beavis, I'll help you. 961 00:40:04,703 --> 00:40:06,572 Guess I have to do everything myself. 962 00:40:06,638 --> 00:40:07,906 - Get me out of here now! 963 00:40:07,973 --> 00:40:10,876 - Come on, get in there, you lazy son of a bitch. 964 00:40:10,942 --> 00:40:13,211 - There's turds down here! 965 00:40:13,278 --> 00:40:15,847 - I don't care about your turds, Beavis. 966 00:40:15,914 --> 00:40:19,785 Now get down there. We need that phone to score. 967 00:40:19,851 --> 00:40:22,087 - They must have known we were tracking their phone and put it 968 00:40:22,153 --> 00:40:25,524 in some sort of signal blocking device or Faraday cage. 969 00:40:25,591 --> 00:40:27,325 - They've studied our tradecraft. 970 00:40:27,392 --> 00:40:28,860 They're good. 971 00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:31,763 - Aah! Turd! 972 00:40:31,830 --> 00:40:34,666 ["On the Road Again" plays] 973 00:40:34,733 --> 00:40:39,204 [boys continue yelling, grunting] 974 00:40:40,238 --> 00:40:42,007 - Damn it! 975 00:40:42,073 --> 00:40:43,509 - What's rolling around down there? 976 00:40:43,575 --> 00:40:45,243 - Get me outta here! 977 00:40:45,310 --> 00:40:46,612 [continues yelling] 978 00:40:46,678 --> 00:40:47,879 There's turds down here. 979 00:40:47,946 --> 00:40:51,416 * * 980 00:40:51,483 --> 00:40:54,219 - [snoring] 981 00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:57,589 ["On the Road Again" continues] 982 00:40:57,656 --> 00:41:02,127 * * 983 00:41:02,193 --> 00:41:03,962 - * On the road again...* 984 00:41:04,029 --> 00:41:05,764 - Time to wake up, Beavis. 985 00:41:05,831 --> 00:41:07,499 - Ah! Ah! Where am I? 986 00:41:07,566 --> 00:41:11,302 Turds! 987 00:41:19,978 --> 00:41:22,347 If I can...[splashing] I can see it-- 988 00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:23,915 [grunts] I found it! 989 00:41:24,883 --> 00:41:26,952 Damn it, that's not a phone. 990 00:41:27,819 --> 00:41:29,420 - There it is, dumbass. 991 00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:32,057 - Oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't see it there. 992 00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:34,059 - You're disgusting, Beavis. 993 00:41:34,125 --> 00:41:36,662 - Your trip to Woodson Street, Highland 994 00:41:36,728 --> 00:41:38,964 will take 274 hours. 995 00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:41,967 - Whoa, she's counting the hours. 996 00:41:42,033 --> 00:41:44,936 Let's get moving, Beavis. [snickers] 997 00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:47,906 [dramatic music] 998 00:41:47,973 --> 00:41:50,676 - Sir, we've got a lock on the phone again. 999 00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:54,746 - Change course to intercept. - We won't lose them this time. 1000 00:41:56,582 --> 00:41:59,517 - What is this? Is this college or something? 1001 00:41:59,585 --> 00:42:01,086 - It could be. 1002 00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:03,521 Something sucks. - Oh, boy. Heh heh. 1003 00:42:03,589 --> 00:42:06,558 Let's get out of here before we learn something, Butt-Head. 1004 00:42:06,625 --> 00:42:09,194 - Yeah, really. 1005 00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:10,962 [warbling sounds] 1006 00:42:11,029 --> 00:42:13,298 - Beavis, Butt-Head, it is we. 1007 00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:15,567 - We have made the quest easier. 1008 00:42:15,634 --> 00:42:17,468 We have moved the portal. 1009 00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:19,738 - Mount Everest seemed like a good idea at the time 1010 00:42:19,805 --> 00:42:23,875 for its proximity to space, but the trip was a long-y. 1011 00:42:23,942 --> 00:42:26,311 - Are you those guys that are like us 1012 00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:27,579 or something? 1013 00:42:27,646 --> 00:42:29,447 - We've covered this already. 1014 00:42:29,514 --> 00:42:32,984 - The portal is now over there behind the Classics building. 1015 00:42:33,051 --> 00:42:34,953 - It is well hidden there because no one 1016 00:42:35,020 --> 00:42:37,122 cares about the humanities anymore. 1017 00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:39,324 - They want jobs that will allow them to pay off 1018 00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:40,926 their student debt. 1019 00:42:40,992 --> 00:42:42,360 - Amusing, yes. - Yes, humorous, yes. 1020 00:42:42,427 --> 00:42:43,729 - Satirical comment on the times. 1021 00:42:43,795 --> 00:42:44,896 - Yes, amusing. 1022 00:42:44,963 --> 00:42:47,198 - Seek the portal before all is destroyed. 1023 00:42:47,265 --> 00:42:49,234 - The lives of billions depend on it. 1024 00:42:49,300 --> 00:42:51,937 - Hurry, you haven't but much time. 1025 00:42:52,003 --> 00:42:54,706 - [snickers] He said butt munch. 1026 00:42:54,773 --> 00:42:56,608 [both snicker] 1027 00:42:56,675 --> 00:42:58,376 - I did not. 1028 00:42:58,443 --> 00:43:00,145 But I can see how it would it be quite 1029 00:43:00,211 --> 00:43:02,380 humorous if I had-- - Yes, yes humorous. 1030 00:43:02,447 --> 00:43:04,415 - Yes, yes, they do sound similar. 1031 00:43:04,482 --> 00:43:06,384 Amusing and incongruous. 1032 00:43:07,953 --> 00:43:09,821 - Uh, I like those guys. 1033 00:43:09,888 --> 00:43:12,390 - How'd they disappear, though? 1034 00:43:12,457 --> 00:43:13,992 - Uh, who cares? 1035 00:43:14,059 --> 00:43:16,361 Magic sucks. 1036 00:43:18,730 --> 00:43:20,031 - Are you sure about this? 1037 00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:22,033 Feels a little bit like a wild goose chase. 1038 00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:24,202 - Listen, one of our dipshit college 1039 00:43:24,269 --> 00:43:26,537 campaign volunteers had some crazy story about how she 1040 00:43:26,604 --> 00:43:28,539 saw two teenagers coming out of the same 1041 00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:30,041 Porta Potty laughing at nothing, 1042 00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:32,110 and one of them was covered in feces and nacho cheese. 1043 00:43:32,177 --> 00:43:33,645 Who else could it be? 1044 00:43:33,712 --> 00:43:34,813 - Well, when I was in college, 1045 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,648 I did some pretty crazy-- 1046 00:43:36,715 --> 00:43:38,383 - Here's the deal. 1047 00:43:38,449 --> 00:43:41,119 If I don't kill those guys, I'm going to be accused of murder. 1048 00:43:41,186 --> 00:43:43,088 And if I'm gonna be accused of murder, 1049 00:43:43,154 --> 00:43:45,023 I might as well kill those guys. 1050 00:43:45,090 --> 00:43:47,525 So we're going to find them. - Mm-hmm. 1051 00:43:48,827 --> 00:43:52,163 - Let's take a shortcut through this thing. 1052 00:43:52,230 --> 00:43:55,433 - While exaggerating gender norms sometimes winds up 1053 00:43:55,500 --> 00:43:58,503 subverting existing paradigms-- [door clangs loudly] 1054 00:43:58,569 --> 00:44:00,071 - Don't mind us. 1055 00:44:00,138 --> 00:44:02,240 - We just need to get through here so we can score. 1056 00:44:02,307 --> 00:44:05,376 - Yeah. There's a slut at our house who's gonna like 1057 00:44:05,443 --> 00:44:06,611 do it with us. 1058 00:44:06,678 --> 00:44:09,214 Any of you ladies want to join the party? 1059 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:12,217 [students chatter in disgust] 1060 00:44:12,283 --> 00:44:14,886 - Hang on, everyone. Hang on. 1061 00:44:14,953 --> 00:44:16,922 This is teachable, okay? 1062 00:44:16,988 --> 00:44:18,523 Now, they use the word "slut" 1063 00:44:18,589 --> 00:44:21,459 in a sex positive way, which is a good thing. 1064 00:44:21,526 --> 00:44:24,629 But other than that, these two are a reminder 1065 00:44:24,696 --> 00:44:28,233 that we still have a long, hard road ahead of us. 1066 00:44:28,299 --> 00:44:30,601 - [snickers] Long, hard. 1067 00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:32,170 [both snicker] 1068 00:44:32,237 --> 00:44:34,605 - Yeah, like a wiener, or a schlong. 1069 00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:35,941 You know, get it? [snickers] 1070 00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:37,575 - Uh-huh. 1071 00:44:37,642 --> 00:44:40,378 Why don't we start by having you two tell us what you thought 1072 00:44:40,445 --> 00:44:43,014 of the reading assignments for today? 1073 00:44:43,081 --> 00:44:45,650 - Uh, we don't really read stuff. 1074 00:44:45,717 --> 00:44:48,286 - Of course not, because you don't need to. 1075 00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:50,588 Because Daddy's connections got you into college 1076 00:44:50,655 --> 00:44:52,924 and will get you a job on Wall Street. 1077 00:44:52,991 --> 00:44:55,126 - Uh, wait a minute. 1078 00:44:55,193 --> 00:44:57,595 Do you know who my dad is? 1079 00:44:57,662 --> 00:45:00,431 - I'm sure he's very powerful and can have me fired. 1080 00:45:00,498 --> 00:45:02,000 But I don't care. 1081 00:45:02,067 --> 00:45:05,036 - Cool. My dad's powerful. 1082 00:45:05,103 --> 00:45:06,504 - Oh, that's cool. Yeah. [snickers] 1083 00:45:06,571 --> 00:45:08,639 Because Butt-Head's mom said he died of syphilis. 1084 00:45:08,706 --> 00:45:10,041 Wow. [snickers] 1085 00:45:10,108 --> 00:45:13,178 - This is a classic example of white privilege. 1086 00:45:13,244 --> 00:45:15,046 And you both have it. 1087 00:45:15,113 --> 00:45:17,983 - Uh, what's that? 1088 00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:19,751 - Anyone want to fill them in? 1089 00:45:19,818 --> 00:45:21,219 - Yeah, I'll do it. 1090 00:45:21,286 --> 00:45:23,221 Okay. So, white privilege 1091 00:45:23,288 --> 00:45:24,823 is when white people, particularly men, 1092 00:45:24,890 --> 00:45:27,492 automatically assume they can take whatever they want. 1093 00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:29,060 - And they never have to worry about 1094 00:45:29,127 --> 00:45:30,561 getting stopped by the police. 1095 00:45:30,628 --> 00:45:33,164 - And they have the inside track for any job they-- 1096 00:45:33,231 --> 00:45:34,565 - I've got this one, Aisha. 1097 00:45:34,632 --> 00:45:38,369 They have the inside track for any job they want. 1098 00:45:38,436 --> 00:45:40,839 - Exactly, Gage, thank you for that. 1099 00:45:40,906 --> 00:45:43,608 That's white privilege. 1100 00:45:43,674 --> 00:45:45,811 - Whoa, and we have that? 1101 00:45:45,877 --> 00:45:47,245 - You sure do. 1102 00:45:47,312 --> 00:45:49,347 - I see. - Whoa. 1103 00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:51,249 I never realized this stuff. 1104 00:45:51,316 --> 00:45:54,319 - Yeah, you've really opened up my eyes. 1105 00:45:54,385 --> 00:45:56,788 - Well, I'm glad we've been able to enlighten you. 1106 00:45:56,855 --> 00:45:59,490 The real question is, do you think you'll 1107 00:45:59,557 --> 00:46:03,428 be acting differently from now on? 1108 00:46:03,494 --> 00:46:06,031 - I guarantee it. - Yeah, me too. 1109 00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:08,299 [bang!] - Step aside, please. 1110 00:46:08,366 --> 00:46:09,734 We have white privilege. 1111 00:46:09,801 --> 00:46:12,137 - Yeah, yeah, check it out. 1112 00:46:14,072 --> 00:46:15,673 Don't worry, it's okay. 1113 00:46:15,740 --> 00:46:18,309 We automatically assume we can take what we want 1114 00:46:18,376 --> 00:46:21,179 and we don't have to worry about the police. 1115 00:46:21,246 --> 00:46:23,681 It's okay, you didn't know. We didn't either. 1116 00:46:23,748 --> 00:46:26,051 Good stuff. 1117 00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:28,486 - This is what we were taught, sir. 1118 00:46:28,553 --> 00:46:31,456 - We're subverting the existing paradigm. 1119 00:46:32,991 --> 00:46:36,061 [alarm blares] 1120 00:46:36,127 --> 00:46:37,963 - This rules. 1121 00:46:38,029 --> 00:46:39,764 [snickering] 1122 00:46:39,831 --> 00:46:42,901 I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad we went to college. 1123 00:46:42,968 --> 00:46:46,371 - Now I have the skills for today's workplace. 1124 00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:50,341 - Well, let's see. What should we take next? 1125 00:46:50,408 --> 00:46:53,111 Let's take that car. 1126 00:46:53,178 --> 00:46:55,513 - But that's a police car. 1127 00:46:55,580 --> 00:46:57,916 - Beavis, you dumbass. Didn't you hear? 1128 00:46:57,983 --> 00:47:00,451 We don't have to worry about getting stopped by the police. 1129 00:47:00,518 --> 00:47:02,053 - Oh, yeah. [snickers] 1130 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:05,223 - Okay, Beavis, let's tear ass. 1131 00:47:05,290 --> 00:47:08,894 [tires squeal] 1132 00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:11,897 [snickering] That was cool. 1133 00:47:11,963 --> 00:47:13,598 - Don't move! 1134 00:47:13,664 --> 00:47:15,800 - Uh, sir, maybe you didn't know, 1135 00:47:15,867 --> 00:47:17,435 but we have white privilege. 1136 00:47:17,502 --> 00:47:19,404 - Get your hands where I can see them. 1137 00:47:19,470 --> 00:47:22,373 - I think the problem is you're just uneducated. 1138 00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,775 - Yeah, we're gonna get jobs on Wall Street. 1139 00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:26,477 You guys know where that is? 1140 00:47:26,544 --> 00:47:28,779 Cut it out! Our dads are powerful. 1141 00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:30,281 They did not die of syphilis. 1142 00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:33,018 - Hey, Beavis was driving. 1143 00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:34,920 [buzzer] [metallic clang] 1144 00:47:34,986 --> 00:47:36,287 We're in jail, Beavis. 1145 00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:38,523 This kicks ass. 1146 00:47:38,589 --> 00:47:40,791 - Yeah, that youth pastor always said 1147 00:47:40,858 --> 00:47:43,094 we'd be here someday. 1148 00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:44,362 We finally made it. 1149 00:47:44,429 --> 00:47:48,066 - The system works, Beavis. 1150 00:47:48,133 --> 00:47:50,401 So, uh, sir? 1151 00:47:50,468 --> 00:47:52,270 How long do we have to stay here? 1152 00:47:52,337 --> 00:47:54,872 Like an hour? 1153 00:47:54,940 --> 00:47:57,575 - We're on our way to go score. 1154 00:47:57,642 --> 00:47:59,044 - Well, you got no one to bail you out, 1155 00:47:59,110 --> 00:48:00,811 so you'll be here until your arraignment in a month. 1156 00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:02,447 I'll come get you then. 1157 00:48:02,513 --> 00:48:05,150 - What-- What? A month? - That sucks. 1158 00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:06,985 - No, no! 1159 00:48:07,052 --> 00:48:10,121 Nooo! 1160 00:48:12,357 --> 00:48:14,225 - They ditched the phone. 1161 00:48:14,292 --> 00:48:16,761 They could be anywhere. 1162 00:48:16,827 --> 00:48:18,863 - This is their work. 1163 00:48:20,798 --> 00:48:22,700 They're toying with us. 1164 00:48:24,502 --> 00:48:27,505 - It's the Feds. They're on this too. 1165 00:48:27,572 --> 00:48:30,708 How much do they know about the murders I committed? 1166 00:48:30,775 --> 00:48:32,410 - Oh--attempted. 1167 00:48:32,477 --> 00:48:34,212 [chuckles] In--in a video game. 1168 00:48:34,279 --> 00:48:36,547 Yeah, I--I wasn't there. 1169 00:48:36,614 --> 00:48:39,985 - [snoring] 1170 00:48:40,051 --> 00:48:43,254 - Ugh this sucks. [snickers] 1171 00:48:43,321 --> 00:48:45,056 - Damn it. 1172 00:48:45,123 --> 00:48:46,224 Serena's gonna be at our house, 1173 00:48:46,291 --> 00:48:47,658 and we're not gonna be there. 1174 00:48:47,725 --> 00:48:49,760 She's gonna think I don't care. 1175 00:48:49,827 --> 00:48:52,297 - Heh heh heh. You care. 1176 00:48:52,363 --> 00:48:54,165 - I do care. 1177 00:48:54,232 --> 00:48:56,467 Sometimes, I think about her, 1178 00:48:56,534 --> 00:48:59,004 and I don't even get a boner but I feel good anyway. 1179 00:48:59,070 --> 00:49:01,472 - Damn it, Beavis, shut up. You're embarrassing me. 1180 00:49:01,539 --> 00:49:03,774 If you don't get a boner when you think about her, 1181 00:49:03,841 --> 00:49:06,511 then you don't know what love is. 1182 00:49:06,577 --> 00:49:07,745 [buzzer] 1183 00:49:07,812 --> 00:49:10,681 - McCabe. Inspection now. 1184 00:49:10,748 --> 00:49:12,017 - Shit. 1185 00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:14,519 Okay, listen up, kid. You're gonna help me out. 1186 00:49:14,585 --> 00:49:15,920 I can't let them find these on me. 1187 00:49:15,987 --> 00:49:17,722 So you're going to take 'em. 1188 00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:18,889 - Whoa, heh. 1189 00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:20,191 You want me to take all of those? 1190 00:49:20,258 --> 00:49:22,127 - Yes moron, take them now. 1191 00:49:22,193 --> 00:49:24,595 - Okay okay. 1192 00:49:24,662 --> 00:49:28,166 Tastes weird. Kinda salty. 1193 00:49:28,233 --> 00:49:29,734 - Hey, don't eat em! 1194 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,702 Hide 'em in your pants. - Shut up! 1195 00:49:31,769 --> 00:49:33,771 - McCabe! 1196 00:49:37,842 --> 00:49:39,244 - Heh heh heh heh. 1197 00:49:39,310 --> 00:49:41,146 This is gonna be cool. 1198 00:49:41,212 --> 00:49:44,782 [Beavis growls] 1199 00:49:44,849 --> 00:49:46,451 - Maybe you ought to check on that kid. 1200 00:49:46,517 --> 00:49:48,886 - You better shut up, McCabe. 1201 00:49:50,455 --> 00:49:56,294 [Beavis growls] 1202 00:49:56,361 --> 00:49:58,563 - Which one of you guys does tattoos? 1203 00:49:58,629 --> 00:50:00,631 - Hey, you better tell your friend to chill, man. 1204 00:50:00,698 --> 00:50:02,600 - Yeah, he's not really my friend. 1205 00:50:02,667 --> 00:50:05,002 He just, like, follows me around all the time. 1206 00:50:05,070 --> 00:50:06,304 - [maniacal gibberish] 1207 00:50:06,371 --> 00:50:08,406 - I think I want to get a tattoo of a butt 1208 00:50:08,473 --> 00:50:10,575 right here on my forehead. Heh heh heh. 1209 00:50:13,044 --> 00:50:16,314 - [echoing] I am Cornholio! 1210 00:50:16,381 --> 00:50:18,149 I need TP for my bunghole! 1211 00:50:18,216 --> 00:50:20,151 [snickering] 1212 00:50:20,218 --> 00:50:21,652 Do not make my bunghole angry. 1213 00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:23,054 I demand TP! - Hmm? 1214 00:50:23,121 --> 00:50:24,322 - Give me all your TP! 1215 00:50:24,389 --> 00:50:27,258 All your TP now! 1216 00:50:27,325 --> 00:50:28,893 - Quit disrespecting me! 1217 00:50:28,959 --> 00:50:30,428 - I will find your TP. 1218 00:50:30,495 --> 00:50:31,929 - [grunting] - I seek TP. 1219 00:50:31,996 --> 00:50:34,165 [humming and snickering] 1220 00:50:34,232 --> 00:50:35,900 Do not disrespect my bunghole. 1221 00:50:35,966 --> 00:50:38,969 [snickering] 1222 00:50:39,036 --> 00:50:40,838 [murmuring] 1223 00:50:40,905 --> 00:50:44,809 [Beavis grumbling] 1224 00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:46,977 I am Cornholio! 1225 00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:48,379 I need TP for my bunghole. 1226 00:50:48,446 --> 00:50:52,016 Heh-heh-heh. 1227 00:50:52,083 --> 00:50:55,353 [grumbling incoherently] 1228 00:50:55,420 --> 00:50:57,054 I demand TP, I demand TP! 1229 00:50:57,122 --> 00:50:59,023 More TP! 1230 00:50:59,090 --> 00:51:02,360 - Little dude's right, we do need more TP. 1231 00:51:02,427 --> 00:51:03,994 - More TP, more TP! [inmates murmuring] 1232 00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:05,096 I demand TP! 1233 00:51:05,163 --> 00:51:06,697 - Yeah, we want more TP. 1234 00:51:06,764 --> 00:51:08,199 - They never give us enough. 1235 00:51:08,266 --> 00:51:10,201 - You will not disrespect my bunghole! 1236 00:51:10,268 --> 00:51:12,837 - Yeah, they're disrespecting us. 1237 00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:14,872 They're disrespecting our bungholes. 1238 00:51:14,939 --> 00:51:18,243 [inmates murmuring] 1239 00:51:18,309 --> 00:51:20,745 - [grunts] We demand TP! 1240 00:51:20,811 --> 00:51:23,481 - That little guy's right about the toilet paper. 1241 00:51:23,548 --> 00:51:25,316 - No man can see his own bunghole. 1242 00:51:25,383 --> 00:51:27,518 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1243 00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:30,221 - One butt cheek here, and then one here. 1244 00:51:30,288 --> 00:51:31,422 Heh-heh. 1245 00:51:31,489 --> 00:51:32,557 - Look, are you sure you don't want 1246 00:51:32,623 --> 00:51:34,592 a pair of dice or something? 1247 00:51:34,659 --> 00:51:36,294 - Dice? Heh-heh-heh. 1248 00:51:36,361 --> 00:51:39,930 This is gonna be on my head for the rest of my life, dumbass. 1249 00:51:39,997 --> 00:51:41,266 - [chanting] TP! TP! 1250 00:51:41,332 --> 00:51:44,269 - You cannot imprison the almighty bunghole! 1251 00:51:44,335 --> 00:51:45,970 And now, you must pay! 1252 00:51:46,036 --> 00:51:47,305 Hm-heh-heh. 1253 00:51:47,372 --> 00:51:49,174 - What the hell? 1254 00:51:49,240 --> 00:51:50,575 - I don't get it, sir. 1255 00:51:50,641 --> 00:51:53,178 It started out as a simple request for toilet paper, 1256 00:51:53,244 --> 00:51:55,146 but now it's out of control. 1257 00:51:55,213 --> 00:51:58,683 - You have nothing to lose but your bunghole! 1258 00:51:58,749 --> 00:52:00,418 - Prepare the extraction team. 1259 00:52:00,485 --> 00:52:02,253 - Who is this guy? 1260 00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,754 Antifa? 1261 00:52:03,821 --> 00:52:05,055 MS-13? 1262 00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:07,392 - We ran him and his associate's fingerprints, 1263 00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:10,995 and it came back that they died in 1998. 1264 00:52:11,061 --> 00:52:12,297 - What the hell? 1265 00:52:12,363 --> 00:52:15,166 [alarm blaring] 1266 00:52:15,233 --> 00:52:17,968 [guards shouting] 1267 00:52:20,905 --> 00:52:24,375 - No man is free while one bunghole is in chains! 1268 00:52:24,442 --> 00:52:27,178 - They died in '98? 1269 00:52:27,245 --> 00:52:30,748 We're dealing with something here that's beyond explanation. 1270 00:52:30,815 --> 00:52:34,151 Have you ever seen a show called "Touched by an Angel"? 1271 00:52:34,219 --> 00:52:35,553 - No. 1272 00:52:35,620 --> 00:52:38,323 - They always come with a message. 1273 00:52:38,389 --> 00:52:40,024 What could his be? 1274 00:52:40,090 --> 00:52:41,492 - I am Cornholio! 1275 00:52:41,559 --> 00:52:43,228 I need TP for my bunghole! 1276 00:52:43,294 --> 00:52:46,564 - [chanting] TP! TP! TP! 1277 00:52:46,631 --> 00:52:49,800 - Stand by to take down Cornholio. 1278 00:52:49,867 --> 00:52:52,303 - Have you seen my bunghole? Heh-heh. 1279 00:52:52,370 --> 00:52:55,940 - When I open this door, unleash hell. 1280 00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:58,343 [dramatic music] 1281 00:52:58,409 --> 00:53:00,745 - Stand down. 1282 00:53:00,811 --> 00:53:03,248 This has turned into something bigger. 1283 00:53:03,314 --> 00:53:06,851 Cornholio's their hero. 1284 00:53:06,917 --> 00:53:11,021 He did the most dangerous thing you can do in this place. 1285 00:53:11,088 --> 00:53:13,624 [inspirational music] He gave those men hope. 1286 00:53:13,691 --> 00:53:16,193 And there's a funny thing about hope. 1287 00:53:16,261 --> 00:53:18,363 It's contagious. 1288 00:53:18,429 --> 00:53:20,898 And these days, well, 1289 00:53:20,965 --> 00:53:24,469 I think we need all the hope we can get. 1290 00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:26,804 - I hope you can see my bunghole. 1291 00:53:26,871 --> 00:53:28,573 - So what are we supposed to do? 1292 00:53:28,639 --> 00:53:31,609 - The only thing we can do. 1293 00:53:31,676 --> 00:53:36,080 Give those prisoners all the toilet paper we got. 1294 00:53:36,146 --> 00:53:37,915 And then we're going to put those two boys 1295 00:53:37,982 --> 00:53:40,285 on a bus back to where they came from. 1296 00:53:40,351 --> 00:53:41,919 Destroy their records. 1297 00:53:41,986 --> 00:53:46,123 And as far as I'm concerned, they were never here. 1298 00:53:46,190 --> 00:53:47,958 And with God's help, 1299 00:53:48,025 --> 00:53:51,396 we will learn from Cornholio's message today, 1300 00:53:51,462 --> 00:53:53,564 and we will become better men. 1301 00:53:53,631 --> 00:53:55,566 * * 1302 00:53:55,633 --> 00:53:57,735 - I have but one bunghole to give. 1303 00:53:57,802 --> 00:54:00,505 Heh-heh-heh, and I give it to you. 1304 00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:02,540 [siren blaring] 1305 00:54:02,607 --> 00:54:04,642 [truck horns honking] 1306 00:54:07,912 --> 00:54:11,416 [cheers and applause] 1307 00:54:11,482 --> 00:54:17,988 * * 1308 00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:25,796 [ominous music] 1309 00:54:25,863 --> 00:54:27,565 - National security? 1310 00:54:27,632 --> 00:54:29,800 Well, that sounds important. 1311 00:54:29,867 --> 00:54:32,236 But those two boys were never here. 1312 00:54:32,303 --> 00:54:36,941 Nope, no record of them at this facility. 1313 00:54:37,007 --> 00:54:40,044 - No jail is going to hold those two for long. 1314 00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:41,612 And apparently they have the ability 1315 00:54:41,679 --> 00:54:45,249 to wipe people's memories. 1316 00:54:45,316 --> 00:54:49,086 - And to that end, I'm here to surprise pardon two criminals 1317 00:54:49,153 --> 00:54:53,324 as part of my new "Soft on Crime" initiative. 1318 00:54:53,391 --> 00:54:55,493 And I'll just take them back 1319 00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:57,962 to the Capitol with me in my car. 1320 00:54:58,028 --> 00:54:59,730 - We heard about two youngsters arrested 1321 00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:03,300 over at TSU for some minor offenses. 1322 00:55:04,068 --> 00:55:07,605 - No, no one fitting that description was ever here. 1323 00:55:07,672 --> 00:55:09,273 - Really? 1324 00:55:09,340 --> 00:55:11,576 Are--are you sure about that? 1325 00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:13,243 - Absolutely. 1326 00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:17,014 So, who do you want to surprise pardon? 1327 00:55:17,081 --> 00:55:18,583 - Uh... 1328 00:55:18,649 --> 00:55:21,552 [engine rumbling] 1329 00:55:21,619 --> 00:55:25,055 - Ma'am, we just want to say thank you for pardoning us. 1330 00:55:25,122 --> 00:55:26,857 We appreciate-- - Shut up. 1331 00:55:26,924 --> 00:55:29,460 Where the hell are Beavis and Butt-Head? 1332 00:55:29,527 --> 00:55:31,028 - Oh, those guys? 1333 00:55:31,095 --> 00:55:33,531 Oh, the warden put them on a bus back to their hometown. 1334 00:55:33,598 --> 00:55:35,933 Highland Texas, I think it was. 1335 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:36,767 - Oh. 1336 00:55:36,834 --> 00:55:38,869 - Highland Texas. 1337 00:55:38,936 --> 00:55:41,806 Finally a stroke of good luck. 1338 00:55:41,872 --> 00:55:44,308 [tires screeching] - Whoo-hoo! 1339 00:55:44,375 --> 00:55:46,677 Thank you, Governor! 1340 00:55:50,515 --> 00:55:54,151 - You know, I guess the lesson to learn from this is, 1341 00:55:54,218 --> 00:55:56,787 you probably should have pardoned someone smaller, 1342 00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:59,390 because-- - God damn it! 1343 00:55:59,457 --> 00:56:01,492 [crickets chirping] 1344 00:56:01,559 --> 00:56:04,395 [bus engine rumbling] 1345 00:56:04,462 --> 00:56:08,766 [quiet music] 1346 00:56:08,833 --> 00:56:10,668 - Heh heh heh. 1347 00:56:10,735 --> 00:56:12,002 We're almost there, right, Butt-Head? 1348 00:56:12,069 --> 00:56:13,170 Heh heh heh. 1349 00:56:13,237 --> 00:56:14,705 - We sure are, Beavis. 1350 00:56:14,772 --> 00:56:16,073 It's been a long journey. 1351 00:56:16,140 --> 00:56:18,042 Heh-heh. 1352 00:56:18,108 --> 00:56:21,311 - Um, Butt-Head? - Uh, yeah? 1353 00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:23,247 - What do you think's gonna happen when we score? 1354 00:56:23,313 --> 00:56:24,649 Heh-heh-heh. 1355 00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:27,017 - Beavis, everything is gonna be different. 1356 00:56:27,084 --> 00:56:28,519 Heh-heh. 1357 00:56:28,586 --> 00:56:29,820 Just imagine it. 1358 00:56:29,887 --> 00:56:33,458 Heh-heh, heh-heh. 1359 00:56:33,524 --> 00:56:35,760 [dreamy harp] 1360 00:56:35,826 --> 00:56:37,428 - Beavis. - Huh? 1361 00:56:37,495 --> 00:56:38,996 - You just scored with me. 1362 00:56:39,063 --> 00:56:40,598 - I did? 1363 00:56:40,665 --> 00:56:42,533 - Yes, and now I'm your girlfriend. 1364 00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:43,734 - Yes! 1365 00:56:43,801 --> 00:56:45,970 [laughter] 1366 00:56:46,036 --> 00:56:47,404 Whoo! 1367 00:56:47,472 --> 00:56:48,806 [giggling] - Check it out. 1368 00:56:48,873 --> 00:56:51,175 Heh-heh, yeah! 1369 00:56:51,241 --> 00:56:52,677 Oh! - Whoa! 1370 00:56:52,743 --> 00:56:55,513 - You're right, Beavis, fire is cool. 1371 00:56:55,580 --> 00:56:57,281 - Ow! - [snickering] 1372 00:56:57,347 --> 00:56:58,849 - I'm gonna tear your head off and-- 1373 00:56:58,916 --> 00:57:00,184 - [yells] - [gasps] 1374 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:01,486 - No, you're not! 1375 00:57:01,552 --> 00:57:02,953 I'm his girlfriend. 1376 00:57:03,020 --> 00:57:04,822 Hi-yah! - Yes! 1377 00:57:04,889 --> 00:57:06,457 Yes, yes, yes! 1378 00:57:06,524 --> 00:57:08,726 Yes! - [whimpering] 1379 00:57:08,793 --> 00:57:10,394 - Hah! 1380 00:57:10,461 --> 00:57:11,696 - Ah-- 1381 00:57:12,830 --> 00:57:14,198 - [whistles] 1382 00:57:15,866 --> 00:57:17,768 [whinnying] 1383 00:57:18,803 --> 00:57:21,038 [twinkling chimes] 1384 00:57:21,105 --> 00:57:25,610 Beavis, from now on, it's just gonna be you and me. 1385 00:57:25,676 --> 00:57:26,677 And Butt-Head. 1386 00:57:26,744 --> 00:57:29,313 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1387 00:57:29,379 --> 00:57:30,915 I'm a deer. 1388 00:57:30,981 --> 00:57:32,850 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Heh. 1389 00:57:32,917 --> 00:57:34,652 Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1390 00:57:34,719 --> 00:57:37,287 [dreamy harp] 1391 00:57:37,354 --> 00:57:42,326 [sensual club music] 1392 00:57:42,392 --> 00:57:43,861 - Hey Butt-Head, I heard 1393 00:57:43,928 --> 00:57:45,863 you put your thingy in a girl's thingy. 1394 00:57:45,930 --> 00:57:47,732 - I sure did, heh-heh. 1395 00:57:47,798 --> 00:57:48,733 - Did it hurt? 1396 00:57:48,799 --> 00:57:50,835 - Nope, heh-heh. 1397 00:57:50,901 --> 00:57:52,436 And I was never worried that it would. 1398 00:57:52,503 --> 00:57:53,604 Heh-heh. 1399 00:57:53,671 --> 00:57:55,039 Wood. 1400 00:57:55,105 --> 00:57:58,275 - Oh, Butt-Head, would you please score with us? 1401 00:57:58,342 --> 00:58:00,444 - And every other girl you know? 1402 00:58:00,511 --> 00:58:01,512 [giggling] 1403 00:58:01,579 --> 00:58:02,547 - Indeed. 1404 00:58:02,613 --> 00:58:04,381 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1405 00:58:04,448 --> 00:58:05,783 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1406 00:58:05,850 --> 00:58:07,685 [dreamy harp] Heh-heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1407 00:58:07,752 --> 00:58:09,620 - Highland, end of the line. 1408 00:58:09,687 --> 00:58:12,623 [quiet music] 1409 00:58:12,690 --> 00:58:13,824 - Beavis. 1410 00:58:13,891 --> 00:58:16,160 Beavis, wake up. We made it. 1411 00:58:16,226 --> 00:58:17,628 - Yeah, yeah, heh. - Heh-heh. 1412 00:58:17,695 --> 00:58:19,864 Yeah, we're gonna score, yeah. 1413 00:58:19,930 --> 00:58:21,966 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - This is gonna be cool. 1414 00:58:22,032 --> 00:58:24,434 Heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm-hm-heh. 1415 00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:25,836 - Uh, Serena? 1416 00:58:25,903 --> 00:58:28,105 Heh-heh. - Serena? 1417 00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:30,841 - Um, Butt-Head, what are all these people 1418 00:58:30,908 --> 00:58:32,142 doing in our house? 1419 00:58:32,209 --> 00:58:34,612 - Uh, are we having a party or something? 1420 00:58:34,679 --> 00:58:36,013 - Better not be. 1421 00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:38,182 We have to have sex in here. - Heh-heh-heh. 1422 00:58:38,248 --> 00:58:41,085 - Welcome, Anita Ross, Castle Realty. 1423 00:58:41,151 --> 00:58:42,486 Are you interested in the home? 1424 00:58:42,553 --> 00:58:44,755 - Uh, this is our house. 1425 00:58:44,822 --> 00:58:46,691 - Oh, yeah, I fell in love with it too. 1426 00:58:46,757 --> 00:58:48,092 Let me give you the tour. 1427 00:58:48,158 --> 00:58:50,961 - Uh, what did you do to our house? 1428 00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:52,897 - Well, the current owner bought the property to flip. 1429 00:58:52,963 --> 00:58:54,899 Complete renovation. [chuckles] 1430 00:58:54,965 --> 00:58:56,934 - Yeah, this sucks, hm-hm-heh. 1431 00:58:57,001 --> 00:58:59,269 - The house was empty for a long time. 1432 00:58:59,336 --> 00:59:01,305 Because it belonged to the mother of one of these 1433 00:59:01,371 --> 00:59:05,042 two teenagers who died in this accident on the space shuttle. 1434 00:59:05,109 --> 00:59:06,577 [whispering] Shirley Beavis. 1435 00:59:06,644 --> 00:59:07,878 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, heh. 1436 00:59:07,945 --> 00:59:09,814 Whoa, Butt-Head, look, a garbage disposal. 1437 00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:11,649 - Yeah, heh, kick ass. - Cool. 1438 00:59:11,716 --> 00:59:12,917 - Yeah, it's all brand-new. 1439 00:59:12,983 --> 00:59:14,952 Anyway, you won't believe what happened 1440 00:59:15,019 --> 00:59:17,454 to Shirley Beavis when her son died in space. 1441 00:59:17,521 --> 00:59:19,790 She went totally-- [garbage disposal whirs] 1442 00:59:19,857 --> 00:59:24,695 [inaudible under disposal] 1443 00:59:24,762 --> 00:59:26,330 [disposal stops] And then, after she blew 1444 00:59:26,396 --> 00:59:28,232 through the settlement money, she did something 1445 00:59:28,298 --> 00:59:29,867 you wouldn't believe. - Something bigger, yeah. 1446 00:59:29,934 --> 00:59:31,736 - She took-- [garbage disposal whirs] 1447 00:59:31,802 --> 00:59:36,173 [indiscernible] 1448 00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,042 Bittersweet thing she said is, 1449 00:59:38,108 --> 00:59:40,711 if she could just see her son one more time, 1450 00:59:40,778 --> 00:59:43,547 she would tell him these words: 1451 00:59:43,614 --> 00:59:45,282 "Son,"-- [garbage disposal whirs] 1452 00:59:45,349 --> 00:59:48,218 [indiscernible] - Yeah, grind it, yeah! 1453 00:59:48,886 --> 00:59:50,587 [grinding and squelching] [screams] 1454 00:59:50,655 --> 00:59:52,122 - That kicks ass. 1455 00:59:52,189 --> 00:59:53,958 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Ow, heh-heh, yeah. 1456 00:59:54,024 --> 00:59:56,093 Yeah, yeah, cool, heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh. 1457 00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:58,228 So, um, so where's Serena? 1458 00:59:58,295 --> 01:00:00,665 - Who? - Serena, yeah, heh. 1459 01:00:00,731 --> 01:00:02,733 Siri for short. - Siri? 1460 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:04,134 - Is she in the bedroom already? 1461 01:00:04,201 --> 01:00:05,703 - I mean if there's like, a line, 1462 01:00:05,770 --> 01:00:08,105 that's cool and everything, but, uh, we were led 1463 01:00:08,172 --> 01:00:10,074 to believe we would get first dibs. 1464 01:00:10,140 --> 01:00:11,541 - Shut up, Butt-Head, come on. 1465 01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:14,044 - There's no smart home system, if that's what you mean. 1466 01:00:14,111 --> 01:00:16,013 There's no Siri here. 1467 01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:17,581 - She's not here? 1468 01:00:17,648 --> 01:00:20,384 But--but she said--she said she'd be here. 1469 01:00:20,450 --> 01:00:22,619 Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1470 01:00:22,687 --> 01:00:24,421 She's never lied to us before. 1471 01:00:24,488 --> 01:00:26,456 [somber music] 1472 01:00:26,523 --> 01:00:28,025 What happened, Butt-Head? 1473 01:00:28,092 --> 01:00:29,694 She promised she was gonna be here. 1474 01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:31,095 And now she's not. 1475 01:00:31,161 --> 01:00:32,963 I thought we had something. 1476 01:00:33,030 --> 01:00:34,531 Where is she? - Damn it, Beavis, 1477 01:00:34,598 --> 01:00:36,100 how am I supposed to know? 1478 01:00:36,166 --> 01:00:38,535 Uh, where's the remote? 1479 01:00:38,602 --> 01:00:40,437 Heh-heh. 1480 01:00:40,504 --> 01:00:42,840 - What are these things? 1481 01:00:42,907 --> 01:00:44,041 - Ahh! - Ugh! 1482 01:00:44,108 --> 01:00:45,175 [dramatic chord] 1483 01:00:45,242 --> 01:00:46,744 What the hell is that? 1484 01:00:46,811 --> 01:00:49,179 - Yeah, where's the TV? 1485 01:00:49,246 --> 01:00:51,949 - Uh, they're books. 1486 01:00:52,016 --> 01:00:53,617 - What? - Heh-heh. 1487 01:00:53,684 --> 01:00:54,618 - Books? 1488 01:00:54,685 --> 01:00:55,619 Books? 1489 01:00:55,686 --> 01:00:57,087 No, heh, no! 1490 01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:58,455 We were supposed to score! 1491 01:00:58,522 --> 01:01:00,457 It was gonna be the best thing in the world. 1492 01:01:00,524 --> 01:01:02,592 And instead, all we get is books! 1493 01:01:02,659 --> 01:01:04,594 The worst thing in the world. 1494 01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:06,096 I'm tired of this crap. 1495 01:01:06,163 --> 01:01:07,431 It's not fair. 1496 01:01:07,497 --> 01:01:09,499 - Damn it, Beavis, this is all your fault. 1497 01:01:09,566 --> 01:01:11,802 I would have scored if you hadn't scared her off 1498 01:01:11,869 --> 01:01:14,071 with all your wuss feelings talk. 1499 01:01:14,138 --> 01:01:15,940 "Oh, Serena, oh, I don't have a boner." 1500 01:01:16,006 --> 01:01:17,141 Bleugh! 1501 01:01:17,207 --> 01:01:18,142 - Shut up, Butt-Head. 1502 01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:19,343 I don't sound like that. 1503 01:01:19,409 --> 01:01:21,078 You're the one who scared her off. 1504 01:01:21,145 --> 01:01:23,047 You're always calling her a slut. 1505 01:01:23,113 --> 01:01:25,015 - That's because she is a slut, Beavis. 1506 01:01:25,082 --> 01:01:26,416 [dramatic chord] 1507 01:01:26,483 --> 01:01:27,952 She's an S-L, 1508 01:01:28,018 --> 01:01:31,188 uh, O or something slut. 1509 01:01:31,255 --> 01:01:33,157 She told us herself, remember? 1510 01:01:33,223 --> 01:01:37,728 256 men, 49 women, a dog, 1511 01:01:37,795 --> 01:01:40,464 a chimpanzee with a wiener the size of a-- 1512 01:01:40,530 --> 01:01:41,431 - [yells] - Ugh! 1513 01:01:44,935 --> 01:01:48,005 Beavis, you've just crossed a line. 1514 01:01:48,072 --> 01:01:51,175 And I think we both know what needs to happen now. 1515 01:01:51,241 --> 01:01:52,676 - Ah! Butthole! 1516 01:01:52,743 --> 01:01:54,344 - Heh-heh. - [grunting] 1517 01:01:54,411 --> 01:01:55,612 - [yells] - Butt-Head, I'm gonna kill you, 1518 01:01:55,679 --> 01:01:56,747 you son of a bitch! 1519 01:01:56,814 --> 01:01:59,016 [grunting] - Oh, my. 1520 01:01:59,083 --> 01:02:01,251 I know this can be an emotional decision 1521 01:02:01,318 --> 01:02:02,686 for a couple, but... - Beavis, you son of a whore. 1522 01:02:02,753 --> 01:02:04,554 - Yeah, all right, here we go, here we go, let's just-- 1523 01:02:04,621 --> 01:02:06,390 yeah, let's just move this party outside. 1524 01:02:06,456 --> 01:02:07,992 - Get your hands off me, bunghole! 1525 01:02:08,058 --> 01:02:09,994 - Okay, just go, go, go, go, go, good, good, good, good. 1526 01:02:10,060 --> 01:02:11,695 - [grunts] 1527 01:02:11,762 --> 01:02:14,865 - My email's on the flyer. 1528 01:02:14,932 --> 01:02:16,166 - Damn it, Butt-Head. 1529 01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:18,002 I finally found someone, and you're jealous! 1530 01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:21,671 - "I have feelings, Serena, wuh-heh-heh, let's hold hands. 1531 01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:23,507 "Wuh-heh-heh." - Shut up, Butt-Head! 1532 01:02:23,573 --> 01:02:25,042 You're the one who drove her away. 1533 01:02:25,109 --> 01:02:26,610 She said she doesn't understand you, 1534 01:02:26,676 --> 01:02:29,780 and we talked about spider webs and you ruined everything. 1535 01:02:29,847 --> 01:02:31,448 - Damn it, Beavis, Serena never liked you, 1536 01:02:31,515 --> 01:02:33,483 she was just talking to you to get to me. 1537 01:02:33,550 --> 01:02:36,286 I'm tired of you weighing me down. 1538 01:02:36,353 --> 01:02:38,688 I'm gonna get out of here, and don't follow me. 1539 01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:39,723 Heh-heh-heh. 1540 01:02:39,790 --> 01:02:41,558 - Well, don't follow me. 1541 01:02:41,625 --> 01:02:43,393 Butthole! Hehe. 1542 01:02:43,460 --> 01:02:47,164 [How Am I Supposed to Live Without You plays] 1543 01:02:47,231 --> 01:02:49,699 [rain pouring] 1544 01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:52,336 * * 1545 01:02:52,402 --> 01:02:54,905 - * I could hardly believe it * 1546 01:02:54,972 --> 01:02:58,275 * When I heard the news today * 1547 01:02:58,342 --> 01:03:00,911 [men chuckling] * I had to come and get it * 1548 01:03:00,978 --> 01:03:06,016 * Straight from you * 1549 01:03:06,083 --> 01:03:08,452 * They said you were leaving * 1550 01:03:08,518 --> 01:03:10,520 * Someone swept your heart away * 1551 01:03:10,587 --> 01:03:12,089 - [grunting] 1552 01:03:12,156 --> 01:03:14,391 - * From the look upon your face * 1553 01:03:14,458 --> 01:03:18,896 * I see it's true * 1554 01:03:18,963 --> 01:03:21,131 * So tell me all about it * - Shut up, dumbass. 1555 01:03:21,198 --> 01:03:22,967 - * Tell about the plans you're making * 1556 01:03:23,033 --> 01:03:26,003 - [yells] 1557 01:03:26,070 --> 01:03:31,976 - * Tell me one thing more before I go * 1558 01:03:32,042 --> 01:03:37,181 * Tell my how am I supposed to live without you * 1559 01:03:37,247 --> 01:03:40,617 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1560 01:03:40,684 --> 01:03:42,052 Hey, Beavis, check-- 1561 01:03:42,119 --> 01:03:43,820 Uh, oh. 1562 01:03:43,888 --> 01:03:45,055 dramatic chord] 1563 01:03:45,122 --> 01:03:46,891 Let go of me, butthole. 1564 01:03:46,957 --> 01:03:48,658 [tires screeching] 1565 01:03:48,725 --> 01:03:50,294 - [yells] Hey, hey, what are you--ah, 1566 01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:51,561 hey, what are you doing? 1567 01:03:51,628 --> 01:03:55,199 [door slams] 1568 01:03:55,265 --> 01:03:57,434 [foreboding music] - Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1569 01:03:57,501 --> 01:04:00,070 - Are you here because you hate the United States? 1570 01:04:00,137 --> 01:04:03,340 - Um, heh, the United States? 1571 01:04:03,407 --> 01:04:07,277 Is that, like, part of America or something? 1572 01:04:07,344 --> 01:04:08,913 - It's hard to believe this species 1573 01:04:08,979 --> 01:04:10,480 mastered interstellar travel. 1574 01:04:10,547 --> 01:04:13,383 - Perhaps the two beings share one brain. 1575 01:04:13,450 --> 01:04:16,353 Apart, they're barely able to feed themselves. 1576 01:04:16,420 --> 01:04:18,255 But together, their intelligence 1577 01:04:18,322 --> 01:04:20,824 is beyond what we can even conceive. 1578 01:04:20,891 --> 01:04:22,326 - Hm-heh. 1579 01:04:22,392 --> 01:04:24,828 - We've located the second creature. 1580 01:04:24,895 --> 01:04:27,797 - If we keep them apart, it'll neutralize the threat. 1581 01:04:27,864 --> 01:04:29,599 - But if we don't bring them together, 1582 01:04:29,666 --> 01:04:32,903 we'll never know their plans for world conquest. 1583 01:04:32,970 --> 01:04:35,772 Or the location of their internal sexual organs. 1584 01:04:35,839 --> 01:04:37,641 - Heh-heh-heh. 1585 01:04:37,707 --> 01:04:39,209 Pipe. 1586 01:04:39,276 --> 01:04:40,978 - Stop playing dumb. 1587 01:04:41,045 --> 01:04:42,679 Are you here to destroy me? 1588 01:04:42,746 --> 01:04:44,982 - Uh, if that's how you want it, baby. 1589 01:04:45,049 --> 01:04:46,116 Heh-heh. 1590 01:04:46,183 --> 01:04:47,952 But I can also be very gentle. 1591 01:04:48,018 --> 01:04:49,319 - Okay, we're not getting anywhere. 1592 01:04:49,386 --> 01:04:52,022 - Uh, I don't mind the handcuffs, but like, 1593 01:04:52,089 --> 01:04:54,658 is this dumbass gonna be in the room while we're getting it on? 1594 01:04:54,724 --> 01:04:56,460 [phone rings] - Who is this? 1595 01:04:56,526 --> 01:04:58,395 - Hello, Governor. It appears we each have 1596 01:04:58,462 --> 01:05:01,398 something the other wants. 1597 01:05:01,465 --> 01:05:02,632 [crickets chirping] 1598 01:05:02,699 --> 01:05:04,634 Governor Ryan, the secret Defense Command 1599 01:05:04,701 --> 01:05:07,337 demands you turn over your prisoner immediately 1600 01:05:07,404 --> 01:05:09,239 for reasons of national security. 1601 01:05:09,306 --> 01:05:12,309 - You're sitting too close to me, Beavis. 1602 01:05:12,376 --> 01:05:14,244 - You're sitting too close to me. 1603 01:05:14,311 --> 01:05:15,779 Butthole, hm-hm-heh. 1604 01:05:15,845 --> 01:05:18,848 - As long as you're in the state of Texas, Special Agent, 1605 01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:20,617 both those boys belong to me. 1606 01:05:20,684 --> 01:05:23,487 - And to a lesser extent me, because I'm the lieutenant-- 1607 01:05:23,553 --> 01:05:25,389 - There's no ice in this. 1608 01:05:25,455 --> 01:05:27,691 - Could your assistant get me some ice as well? 1609 01:05:27,757 --> 01:05:30,294 - Oh, I'm not actually her assistant, I'm the lieutenant-- 1610 01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:32,129 - Hartson, just get us some ice. 1611 01:05:32,196 --> 01:05:35,232 [uneasy music] 1612 01:05:35,299 --> 01:05:37,134 - Heh, bunghole. 1613 01:05:37,201 --> 01:05:39,503 - You're the bunghole, buttwagon. 1614 01:05:39,569 --> 01:05:41,972 - The federal government has jurisdiction. 1615 01:05:42,039 --> 01:05:43,440 - He said dick. 1616 01:05:43,507 --> 01:05:45,642 Heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm-heh. 1617 01:05:45,709 --> 01:05:47,477 It's not that funny, hm-hm-hm-heh. 1618 01:05:47,544 --> 01:05:50,447 - Federal law dictates that you turn them over. 1619 01:05:50,514 --> 01:05:53,783 - Whoa, he definitely said dick that time. 1620 01:05:53,850 --> 01:05:56,486 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-hm-heh, yeah, heh. 1621 01:05:56,553 --> 01:05:59,323 Yeah, so what? It's not that funny, Butt-Head. 1622 01:05:59,389 --> 01:06:00,824 So one word sounds like another word, 1623 01:06:00,890 --> 01:06:02,326 big deal, who cares? 1624 01:06:02,392 --> 01:06:05,062 - So you can ruin me and have me replaced as governor 1625 01:06:05,129 --> 01:06:06,963 with one of your deep state assets? 1626 01:06:07,031 --> 01:06:09,333 - She said ate ass. 1627 01:06:09,399 --> 01:06:12,169 Heh-heh-heh. - Whoa, ate ass. 1628 01:06:12,236 --> 01:06:13,470 She said ate ass! 1629 01:06:13,537 --> 01:06:14,771 - Jesus, what is wrong with you? 1630 01:06:14,838 --> 01:06:16,306 I did not say ate ass. 1631 01:06:16,373 --> 01:06:18,275 - She said it again, hm-heh. - Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1632 01:06:18,342 --> 01:06:19,709 - Ate ass. 1633 01:06:19,776 --> 01:06:22,146 - They're just sitting around saying ate ass. 1634 01:06:22,212 --> 01:06:24,448 - Ate ass. - Ate ass. 1635 01:06:24,514 --> 01:06:26,450 - They are really annoying. - Ate ass, sir. 1636 01:06:26,516 --> 01:06:28,018 - Is there another room we could put them in? 1637 01:06:28,085 --> 01:06:29,419 - Ate ass! 1638 01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:31,821 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh, ate ass. 1639 01:06:31,888 --> 01:06:33,523 Hm-hm-heh-heh-heh. - Ate ass, heh-heh. 1640 01:06:33,590 --> 01:06:35,559 - And then she said she didn't say ate ass, 1641 01:06:35,625 --> 01:06:37,094 which made her say it again. 1642 01:06:37,161 --> 01:06:39,563 And then we said it, remember? 1643 01:06:39,629 --> 01:06:41,665 Hm-hm-hm-heh-heh. - Yeah, that was cool. 1644 01:06:41,731 --> 01:06:43,233 - Oh, boy. - Heh-heh-heh. 1645 01:06:43,300 --> 01:06:44,868 - Quick, I don't have much time. 1646 01:06:44,934 --> 01:06:47,137 I know what Serena did to you on the Endeavor. 1647 01:06:47,204 --> 01:06:49,973 - Uh, she hasn't done it yet. 1648 01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:51,641 - It's gonna be any minute though, yeah. 1649 01:06:51,708 --> 01:06:53,577 - I can help you bring her down. 1650 01:06:53,643 --> 01:06:57,281 - Uh, so like, you'd be in the room? 1651 01:06:57,347 --> 01:06:59,149 - I'll be right behind you all the way. 1652 01:06:59,216 --> 01:07:00,784 - Heh. - Ugh. 1653 01:07:00,850 --> 01:07:02,252 Really? - I don't know, Butt-Head, 1654 01:07:02,319 --> 01:07:03,653 I guess it's worth it, I mean, 1655 01:07:03,720 --> 01:07:05,355 I wouldn't say no to anything at this point. 1656 01:07:05,422 --> 01:07:06,823 - Here's the plan. 1657 01:07:06,890 --> 01:07:09,493 I left the keys in that green car right down there. 1658 01:07:09,559 --> 01:07:10,527 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 1659 01:07:10,594 --> 01:07:12,162 - Take the highway northbound 1660 01:07:12,229 --> 01:07:13,497 to the Pecos county rest stop. 1661 01:07:13,563 --> 01:07:14,664 - Mm-hmm, sounds good. 1662 01:07:14,731 --> 01:07:16,533 - There's a reporter from the morning news 1663 01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:18,102 waiting to hear your story. 1664 01:07:18,168 --> 01:07:19,469 - Okay. - All right, uh-huh. 1665 01:07:19,536 --> 01:07:21,971 - Did you get all that? - Yes, sir, heh-heh. 1666 01:07:22,038 --> 01:07:23,573 - Yep, we're gonna score. 1667 01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:26,176 Heh-heh-heh. - Damn right. 1668 01:07:26,243 --> 01:07:28,545 - I have to go back in there before they get suspicious, 1669 01:07:28,612 --> 01:07:30,247 but you've got to get out of here, now. 1670 01:07:30,314 --> 01:07:33,183 The people in there want you dead. 1671 01:07:33,250 --> 01:07:35,485 What she tried to do to you in '98 1672 01:07:35,552 --> 01:07:38,722 she's done to me every day for 24 years. 1673 01:07:38,788 --> 01:07:40,724 - Christ, heh-heh-heh. - Whoa, heh-heh. 1674 01:07:40,790 --> 01:07:42,058 - There's no need to brag about it. 1675 01:07:42,126 --> 01:07:44,027 - I'm going to make sure she can't do it to you 1676 01:07:44,094 --> 01:07:47,331 or anyone else ever again. 1677 01:07:47,397 --> 01:07:49,466 - Uh, wait a minute, 1678 01:07:49,533 --> 01:07:51,401 I think I see what's going on here. 1679 01:07:51,468 --> 01:07:53,337 He doesn't want us to score. 1680 01:07:53,403 --> 01:07:55,405 That's why he took the handcuffs off. 1681 01:07:55,472 --> 01:07:56,673 - Yeah, yeah, because he knows 1682 01:07:56,740 --> 01:07:58,308 Serena has a thing for handcuffs. 1683 01:07:58,375 --> 01:08:00,144 Yeah, hm-hm-heh. - Exactly. 1684 01:08:00,210 --> 01:08:01,645 And that's why he gave us a car, 1685 01:08:01,711 --> 01:08:03,580 and directions to someplace far away 1686 01:08:03,647 --> 01:08:05,615 where Serena will never find us. 1687 01:08:05,682 --> 01:08:07,817 That dirty butthole. 1688 01:08:07,884 --> 01:08:08,752 - Damn it! Heh. 1689 01:08:08,818 --> 01:08:10,053 What's wrong with that guy? 1690 01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:12,556 He's scored every day for--for 24 years. 1691 01:08:12,622 --> 01:08:14,758 That's like, um, 50 times. 1692 01:08:14,824 --> 01:08:16,025 - We got to get back in there 1693 01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:18,495 and get those handcuffs back on, Beavis. 1694 01:08:18,562 --> 01:08:20,864 We just outsmarted that son of a bitch. 1695 01:08:20,930 --> 01:08:22,432 [tense music] 1696 01:08:22,499 --> 01:08:24,100 Damn it, it's locked. 1697 01:08:24,168 --> 01:08:26,069 - Quick, Butt-Head, the window. 1698 01:08:26,136 --> 01:08:27,404 [grunts] 1699 01:08:27,471 --> 01:08:28,438 - [grunts] 1700 01:08:28,505 --> 01:08:29,939 - Ah! - Ugh. 1701 01:08:30,006 --> 01:08:32,542 Heh-heh. - That was close, hm-hm-heh. 1702 01:08:32,609 --> 01:08:34,411 I can't wait to see the look on his face 1703 01:08:34,478 --> 01:08:36,346 when he sees that car and we're not in it. 1704 01:08:36,413 --> 01:08:37,481 Heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh. 1705 01:08:37,547 --> 01:08:39,349 [laughter] 1706 01:08:39,416 --> 01:08:41,251 - [chuckles] What did I miss? 1707 01:08:41,318 --> 01:08:42,486 - This is so funny. 1708 01:08:42,552 --> 01:08:44,388 We were arguing whether they're aliens 1709 01:08:44,454 --> 01:08:45,922 or the boys from the Space Shuttle. 1710 01:08:45,989 --> 01:08:48,358 But then we realized, it doesn't matter. 1711 01:08:48,425 --> 01:08:50,059 We both want the same thing. 1712 01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:53,497 - We want to kill them, and they want to dissect them. 1713 01:08:53,563 --> 01:08:55,265 We're all on the same team. 1714 01:08:55,332 --> 01:08:57,367 [laughter] 1715 01:08:57,434 --> 01:08:59,569 - Well, let's go kill them. 1716 01:08:59,636 --> 01:09:02,038 - And dissect them, right, Phil? 1717 01:09:02,105 --> 01:09:03,240 - You got me. 1718 01:09:03,307 --> 01:09:05,442 [chuckling] 1719 01:09:05,509 --> 01:09:07,377 - What the hell? 1720 01:09:07,444 --> 01:09:09,045 Uh, just hold on a second. 1721 01:09:09,112 --> 01:09:10,747 - What is it, Hartson? 1722 01:09:10,814 --> 01:09:12,949 - All this talk about dissecting 1723 01:09:13,016 --> 01:09:14,551 is making me curious. 1724 01:09:14,618 --> 01:09:16,620 No, you know what, forget it, it's probably way 1725 01:09:16,686 --> 01:09:19,122 too complicated for someone like me to understand. 1726 01:09:19,189 --> 01:09:20,390 - Hmm. 1727 01:09:20,457 --> 01:09:23,092 Oh, no, no, no, on the contrary, 1728 01:09:23,159 --> 01:09:24,494 this will just take a minute. 1729 01:09:24,561 --> 01:09:26,396 I've got some pictures on my phone. 1730 01:09:26,463 --> 01:09:29,032 First, you need to locate the anus. 1731 01:09:29,098 --> 01:09:30,534 [cuffs jingling] 1732 01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:32,469 - Okay, there, we got 'em closed. 1733 01:09:32,536 --> 01:09:35,505 Now let's put our hands in. 1734 01:09:35,572 --> 01:09:37,040 - It won't fit, Butt-Head. 1735 01:09:37,106 --> 01:09:39,576 How'd we ever get our hands in here in the first place? 1736 01:09:39,643 --> 01:09:43,012 - Uh, let's open them up and start over again. 1737 01:09:43,079 --> 01:09:44,514 We need a key, heh-heh. 1738 01:09:44,581 --> 01:09:48,518 - I think that guy said the keys are in the green car. 1739 01:09:48,585 --> 01:09:50,654 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Uh, oh, yeah. 1740 01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:52,856 Heh-heh, good thinking, Beavis. 1741 01:09:52,922 --> 01:09:54,324 Heh-heh-heh. - Yeah, heh-heh, thanks. 1742 01:09:54,391 --> 01:09:57,861 - I know you're thinking, "I need an expensive scalpel," 1743 01:09:57,927 --> 01:10:00,430 but save your money for the embalming fluid. 1744 01:10:00,497 --> 01:10:02,499 There's a guy in Ecuador who can set you up-- 1745 01:10:02,566 --> 01:10:04,200 - You know what, we don't have time for this. 1746 01:10:04,268 --> 01:10:06,836 Let's go kill those boys, huh? 1747 01:10:06,903 --> 01:10:08,872 - Heh-heh. [car alarm chimes] 1748 01:10:08,938 --> 01:10:10,907 - Damn it. - I think you just, um... 1749 01:10:10,974 --> 01:10:13,076 - This key sucks. - Yeah, I don't know. 1750 01:10:13,142 --> 01:10:14,978 [car beeping] 1751 01:10:15,044 --> 01:10:17,381 [urgent music] 1752 01:10:17,447 --> 01:10:21,117 [horn honking] 1753 01:10:21,184 --> 01:10:24,254 * * 1754 01:10:24,321 --> 01:10:25,489 - They're gone. 1755 01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:26,523 - What? 1756 01:10:26,590 --> 01:10:28,492 I can't believe it! 1757 01:10:28,558 --> 01:10:30,059 - Where could they have gone? 1758 01:10:30,126 --> 01:10:32,929 - I think I have an idea. 1759 01:10:32,996 --> 01:10:37,434 - Directions to 322 Woodson Street, Highland, Texas. 1760 01:10:37,501 --> 01:10:39,269 - Heh-heh-heh. 1761 01:10:39,336 --> 01:10:40,437 Wood. 1762 01:10:40,504 --> 01:10:42,439 Heh-heh-heh-heh. [urgent music] 1763 01:10:42,506 --> 01:10:43,740 - Let's go. 1764 01:10:46,676 --> 01:10:49,245 - Damn it. - Hartson, get in the van. 1765 01:10:51,047 --> 01:10:52,449 - It doesn't fit. 1766 01:10:52,516 --> 01:10:53,817 [engine rumbling] 1767 01:10:53,883 --> 01:10:55,084 - Hey, Serena's in there. 1768 01:10:55,151 --> 01:10:57,987 And that butthole. - [mouthing words] 1769 01:10:58,054 --> 01:10:59,689 - He's gonna go score with her. 1770 01:10:59,756 --> 01:11:01,925 - Why is it always a guy with a van? 1771 01:11:01,991 --> 01:11:04,561 - We got to save her before Hartson bones her again. 1772 01:11:04,628 --> 01:11:06,730 Heh-heh. - Yeah, he's out of control. 1773 01:11:06,796 --> 01:11:09,132 And, um, I just want to say, um, 1774 01:11:09,198 --> 01:11:11,100 you can score first if you want to, Butt-Head. 1775 01:11:11,167 --> 01:11:12,536 Hm-hm-heh. 1776 01:11:12,602 --> 01:11:15,204 - Beavis, I'm not gonna score. 1777 01:11:15,271 --> 01:11:17,140 And you're not gonna score. 1778 01:11:17,206 --> 01:11:18,274 We're gonna score. 1779 01:11:18,342 --> 01:11:19,376 [uplifting music] 1780 01:11:19,443 --> 01:11:22,111 - Yeah, heh, yeah, yeah! 1781 01:11:22,178 --> 01:11:24,948 - Now let's go score before I change my mind. 1782 01:11:25,014 --> 01:11:27,517 Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. - Yeah! 1783 01:11:27,584 --> 01:11:29,786 - All we need now is a car. 1784 01:11:29,853 --> 01:11:34,057 Hmm. - Um, Butt-Head, we're in a car. 1785 01:11:34,123 --> 01:11:36,593 Yeah, hm-hm-hm-heh. - Oh, yeah, heh-heh. 1786 01:11:36,660 --> 01:11:38,962 You really brought your A-game today, Beavis. 1787 01:11:39,028 --> 01:11:40,764 Heh-heh-heh. - Heh, yeah, thanks. 1788 01:11:40,830 --> 01:11:42,366 Hm-hm-heh. [engine starts] 1789 01:11:42,432 --> 01:11:44,100 - Remember, Butt-Head, it's gonna go backwards like before. 1790 01:11:44,167 --> 01:11:45,201 Yeah, hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1791 01:11:45,268 --> 01:11:46,603 - Uh, oh, yeah. 1792 01:11:46,670 --> 01:11:48,805 Heh-heh, you're on a roll, Beavis. 1793 01:11:48,872 --> 01:11:50,139 Heh-heh. 1794 01:11:50,206 --> 01:11:53,643 Just gonna back this baby out and go score. 1795 01:11:53,710 --> 01:11:56,680 [yelling] ["Children Of The Grave" plays] 1796 01:11:56,746 --> 01:11:58,348 [tires screeching] [car alarm wailing] 1797 01:11:58,415 --> 01:12:00,917 - Heh, kick ass, yeah! 1798 01:12:00,984 --> 01:12:02,352 Heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh. 1799 01:12:02,419 --> 01:12:03,520 [horn honking] This is cool. 1800 01:12:03,587 --> 01:12:04,821 - Yeah, yeah, heh-heh, yeah. 1801 01:12:04,888 --> 01:12:07,123 Whoa! - Heh-heh. 1802 01:12:07,190 --> 01:12:08,525 - Wait, I see her! 1803 01:12:08,592 --> 01:12:10,894 I see her, Butt-Head, speed up! - Okay, Beavis. 1804 01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:13,997 - * Revolution in their minds * 1805 01:12:14,063 --> 01:12:15,599 * The children start to march * 1806 01:12:15,665 --> 01:12:18,001 - Heh-heh-heh. 1807 01:12:18,067 --> 01:12:20,003 - Hang on, we're being followed. 1808 01:12:20,069 --> 01:12:22,406 - What the hell? [tires screeching] 1809 01:12:22,472 --> 01:12:23,740 - [whimpers] 1810 01:12:25,842 --> 01:12:26,876 - There she is! 1811 01:12:26,943 --> 01:12:28,478 Faster, Butt-Head, come on, faster! 1812 01:12:28,545 --> 01:12:29,746 - Who could it be? 1813 01:12:29,813 --> 01:12:31,347 - Probably just someone who just happens 1814 01:12:31,415 --> 01:12:32,549 to be going our way. 1815 01:12:32,616 --> 01:12:33,817 To the store, perhaps. 1816 01:12:33,883 --> 01:12:36,420 - It's the Venezuelans or Al-Qaeda. 1817 01:12:36,486 --> 01:12:37,987 - Or the Venusians. 1818 01:12:38,054 --> 01:12:39,355 Or Arcturus Six. 1819 01:12:39,423 --> 01:12:41,691 - Or probably just someone going to the store. 1820 01:12:41,758 --> 01:12:43,059 You know how you run out of milk? 1821 01:12:43,126 --> 01:12:44,861 - I think it's time to put this baby 1822 01:12:44,928 --> 01:12:46,162 into high gear, Beavis. 1823 01:12:46,229 --> 01:12:47,797 - Yeah, yeah, heh, yeah let's do it, yeah. 1824 01:12:47,864 --> 01:12:49,466 What does R stand for? 1825 01:12:49,533 --> 01:12:51,601 Hm-hm-heh. - Uh, really fast? 1826 01:12:51,668 --> 01:12:53,369 - Yeah, yeah, let's go really fast. 1827 01:12:53,437 --> 01:12:55,639 [lever creaking] 1828 01:12:55,705 --> 01:12:56,706 [screams] 1829 01:12:56,773 --> 01:12:58,141 Ow, heh, ow! - Ugh! 1830 01:12:58,207 --> 01:13:00,510 [smoke hissing] 1831 01:13:00,577 --> 01:13:01,811 Ugh. - [grunts] 1832 01:13:01,878 --> 01:13:03,813 - You have a bag in your face. - [coughs] 1833 01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:06,550 - Heh-heh-heh. - Oh, yeah, heh-heh. 1834 01:13:06,616 --> 01:13:08,685 Bag, heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1835 01:13:08,752 --> 01:13:09,719 - Come on, Butt-Head! 1836 01:13:09,786 --> 01:13:10,754 Come on, drive! 1837 01:13:10,820 --> 01:13:12,556 We have to save Serena, come on. 1838 01:13:12,622 --> 01:13:13,590 [crash] 1839 01:13:13,657 --> 01:13:15,058 [glass shattering] 1840 01:13:15,124 --> 01:13:17,393 ["Children Of The Grave" continues] 1841 01:13:17,461 --> 01:13:22,398 - * Children of tomorrow live in the tears that fall today * 1842 01:13:22,466 --> 01:13:24,000 - [yells] 1843 01:13:24,067 --> 01:13:26,102 - * Will the sun rise up tomorrow * 1844 01:13:26,169 --> 01:13:29,372 * Bring in peace in any way? * 1845 01:13:29,439 --> 01:13:30,874 - [shrieks] 1846 01:13:30,940 --> 01:13:32,442 - * Must the world live in the shadow... * 1847 01:13:32,509 --> 01:13:35,512 - Uh, I think there's something wrong with this car. 1848 01:13:35,579 --> 01:13:37,313 Heh-heh-heh. 1849 01:13:37,380 --> 01:13:39,583 - The car is going backwards, Butt-Head. 1850 01:13:39,649 --> 01:13:41,417 Heh. - Uh, oh. 1851 01:13:41,485 --> 01:13:44,353 Heh-heh, cool. 1852 01:13:44,420 --> 01:13:46,723 - Whew, well, I think we lost them. 1853 01:13:46,790 --> 01:13:48,324 Nothing to worry about, I guess. 1854 01:13:48,391 --> 01:13:50,259 [dramatic chord] 1855 01:13:50,326 --> 01:13:52,862 - They're back, and they're driving backwards. 1856 01:13:52,929 --> 01:13:54,430 - What the hell is happening? 1857 01:13:54,498 --> 01:13:56,099 Who are these guys? 1858 01:13:56,165 --> 01:13:58,735 - The East Germans train their assassination teams 1859 01:13:58,802 --> 01:14:00,470 to drive backwards to give their snipers 1860 01:14:00,537 --> 01:14:01,905 a better field of vision. 1861 01:14:01,971 --> 01:14:04,107 [tires screeching] 1862 01:14:04,173 --> 01:14:06,309 [crashing] 1863 01:14:08,144 --> 01:14:09,445 - We almost got 'em, Butt-Head, hurry. 1864 01:14:09,513 --> 01:14:10,814 Heh-heh-hm-hm-heh. 1865 01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:12,549 [eerie music] [synthetic whooshing] 1866 01:14:12,616 --> 01:14:14,017 - Beavis and Butt-Head. - [yells] 1867 01:14:14,083 --> 01:14:15,451 - Listen carefully. 1868 01:14:15,519 --> 01:14:18,054 You only have three minutes to go through the portal. 1869 01:14:18,121 --> 01:14:19,789 Our universes hang in the balance. 1870 01:14:19,856 --> 01:14:23,059 - Uh, how did you get here? 1871 01:14:23,126 --> 01:14:26,530 - Our universe has technology that you can only dream of. 1872 01:14:26,596 --> 01:14:28,064 - Can you watch porn on it? 1873 01:14:28,131 --> 01:14:29,833 - Yes, an infinite amount. 1874 01:14:29,899 --> 01:14:31,935 - Every scenario you can ever imagine. 1875 01:14:32,001 --> 01:14:33,269 - But none of it will exist 1876 01:14:33,336 --> 01:14:34,904 if you do not go through the portal. 1877 01:14:34,971 --> 01:14:37,273 - Why did you not go through the portal before? 1878 01:14:37,340 --> 01:14:40,143 It was right there behind the Classics department. 1879 01:14:40,209 --> 01:14:42,746 - You could have saved the universe and maybe learned 1880 01:14:42,812 --> 01:14:44,981 how Latin is the basis of English grammar. 1881 01:14:45,048 --> 01:14:47,751 - But no matter. At great personal expense, 1882 01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:49,385 we have moved the portal again. 1883 01:14:49,452 --> 01:14:51,254 It is now in your old home, 1884 01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:53,857 in the poorly renovated half bathroom. 1885 01:14:53,923 --> 01:14:56,626 - Enter now so the portal might seal itself, 1886 01:14:56,693 --> 01:14:58,227 and you will return to a universe 1887 01:14:58,294 --> 01:15:00,163 where you never went through the black hole 1888 01:15:00,229 --> 01:15:04,333 but instead lived your lives these past 24 years. 1889 01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:05,434 [synthetic whirring] 1890 01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:07,203 - Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Hm-hm-heh-heh. 1891 01:15:07,270 --> 01:15:09,205 [coughs] - Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1892 01:15:09,272 --> 01:15:11,440 - Um, heh, who are those guys? 1893 01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:13,643 - Uh, I don't know. 1894 01:15:13,710 --> 01:15:15,078 They seem pretty cool, though. 1895 01:15:15,144 --> 01:15:16,813 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, not too bad, really. 1896 01:15:16,880 --> 01:15:18,582 - This show sucks. 1897 01:15:18,648 --> 01:15:20,016 - Yeah, yeah, it's horrible. 1898 01:15:20,083 --> 01:15:21,685 Change the channel, Butt-Head, come on, right now. 1899 01:15:21,751 --> 01:15:23,519 - Don't tell me what to do. 1900 01:15:23,587 --> 01:15:24,754 [grunts] - [yells] 1901 01:15:24,821 --> 01:15:26,255 - Yeah, yeah, hit 'em, hit 'em again. 1902 01:15:26,322 --> 01:15:27,624 [whooshing] 1903 01:15:27,691 --> 01:15:29,025 Come on, turn that show back on. 1904 01:15:29,092 --> 01:15:30,093 - There is no time. 1905 01:15:30,159 --> 01:15:31,995 Now fly to the portal, fly. 1906 01:15:32,061 --> 01:15:33,296 [dramatic music] 1907 01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:34,964 - There's a stop sign, Butt-Head. 1908 01:15:35,031 --> 01:15:36,132 - Fly, my friends-- 1909 01:15:36,199 --> 01:15:37,533 [yelling] 1910 01:15:39,268 --> 01:15:41,771 - Heh, ow. 1911 01:15:41,838 --> 01:15:44,273 [engine roaring] Ah! 1912 01:15:44,340 --> 01:15:45,441 That was painful. 1913 01:15:45,508 --> 01:15:48,344 - We must hasten to the-- 1914 01:15:48,411 --> 01:15:49,846 [urgent music] 1915 01:15:49,913 --> 01:15:51,347 - Looks like we lost them. 1916 01:15:51,414 --> 01:15:53,416 Woodson Street is right up ahead. 1917 01:15:53,482 --> 01:15:54,684 [guns cocking] 1918 01:15:54,751 --> 01:15:56,586 * * 1919 01:15:56,653 --> 01:15:58,788 [horn blaring] 1920 01:15:58,855 --> 01:16:02,759 [metal crashing] 1921 01:16:02,826 --> 01:16:04,761 - There they are, Butt-Head. 1922 01:16:04,828 --> 01:16:06,362 - Sweet Christ. 1923 01:16:06,429 --> 01:16:08,164 - There's only five people in the world 1924 01:16:08,231 --> 01:16:09,198 who could drive like that. 1925 01:16:09,265 --> 01:16:10,466 - Yeah, again, probably just 1926 01:16:10,533 --> 01:16:11,835 someone going out shopping, and their 1927 01:16:11,901 --> 01:16:13,469 transmission got stuck in reverse. 1928 01:16:13,536 --> 01:16:15,138 Happens to me. Never happened to you? 1929 01:16:15,204 --> 01:16:17,373 - I'm not going down without a fight. 1930 01:16:17,440 --> 01:16:19,709 - Or instead, you could pull over 1931 01:16:19,776 --> 01:16:20,810 and let me out and-- [gunfire] 1932 01:16:20,877 --> 01:16:21,845 Ahh! 1933 01:16:21,911 --> 01:16:25,348 [bullets ricocheting] 1934 01:16:25,414 --> 01:16:27,984 - Cool. Someone put a little mirror here 1935 01:16:28,051 --> 01:16:29,252 where you can, like, see behind-- 1936 01:16:29,318 --> 01:16:30,920 [glass shattering] Heh-heh. 1937 01:16:30,987 --> 01:16:32,789 - I don't see it, where? 1938 01:16:32,856 --> 01:16:34,057 Ah! - Ugh! 1939 01:16:34,123 --> 01:16:35,358 [tires screeching] 1940 01:16:35,424 --> 01:16:36,626 - Hey Butt-Head, they stopped. 1941 01:16:36,693 --> 01:16:38,427 - We got 'em right where we want 'em. 1942 01:16:38,494 --> 01:16:39,929 - Ah, ah! - Ugh! 1943 01:16:42,732 --> 01:16:43,667 - Get out of the car. 1944 01:16:43,733 --> 01:16:46,069 - [speaking language] 1945 01:16:48,705 --> 01:16:49,873 [glass shattering] 1946 01:16:49,939 --> 01:16:51,107 [crash] 1947 01:16:51,174 --> 01:16:53,542 - Of course. - What the hell? 1948 01:16:53,609 --> 01:16:55,311 - That's right, baby. 1949 01:16:55,378 --> 01:16:57,580 Our little dance of seduction is now complete. 1950 01:16:57,647 --> 01:16:59,415 Heh-heh-heh. - Hm, yeah, heh, oh, yeah. 1951 01:16:59,482 --> 01:17:02,318 - Hold your fire. 1952 01:17:02,385 --> 01:17:06,155 24 years ago, you nearly destroyed me. 1953 01:17:06,222 --> 01:17:08,524 And now you've traveled through time and space 1954 01:17:08,591 --> 01:17:11,227 to try to destroy me again. 1955 01:17:11,294 --> 01:17:14,097 I want to be the one to do this. 1956 01:17:14,163 --> 01:17:15,965 - Yes! Heh-heh. 1957 01:17:16,032 --> 01:17:17,533 - Yes, it's really going to happen! 1958 01:17:17,600 --> 01:17:18,768 [snickering] 1959 01:17:18,835 --> 01:17:20,904 - Wait, bu--why are you happy? 1960 01:17:20,970 --> 01:17:23,539 - Uh, because, milady, 1961 01:17:23,606 --> 01:17:25,441 we are about to score with thee. 1962 01:17:25,508 --> 01:17:26,710 - Together. 1963 01:17:26,776 --> 01:17:28,712 - Heh-heh, heh-heh. - Hm, yeah, heh-heh. 1964 01:17:28,778 --> 01:17:30,113 - Hang on. 1965 01:17:30,179 --> 01:17:32,548 Do you think I'm going to have sex with you? 1966 01:17:32,615 --> 01:17:34,117 - Uh, yeah. 1967 01:17:34,183 --> 01:17:35,685 Heh-heh. - So, um, should we do it here 1968 01:17:35,752 --> 01:17:37,821 or in the kitchen, 'cause I think that guy 1969 01:17:37,887 --> 01:17:39,088 wants to watch or something? 1970 01:17:39,155 --> 01:17:41,090 - Heh-heh. - Hm, yeah, heh. 1971 01:17:41,157 --> 01:17:43,292 - Yeah, you said you'd have sex with us 1972 01:17:43,359 --> 01:17:45,895 back at Space Camp. Remember? 1973 01:17:45,962 --> 01:17:47,931 - What did I say at Space Camp? 1974 01:17:47,997 --> 01:17:49,065 [twinkling chimes] 1975 01:17:49,132 --> 01:17:51,000 - How would you guys like to do that, 1976 01:17:51,067 --> 01:17:53,469 but do it for real, with me? 1977 01:17:53,536 --> 01:17:55,338 - Whoa. - Yes! 1978 01:17:55,404 --> 01:17:57,273 - That wasn't so hard, was it? 1979 01:17:57,340 --> 01:17:58,541 - Well, actually, it was pretty hard 1980 01:17:58,607 --> 01:18:00,276 until the last five minutes or so, 1981 01:18:00,343 --> 01:18:01,610 but then I got barf on it. 1982 01:18:01,677 --> 01:18:04,113 And then, you know, just, heh, see you later. 1983 01:18:04,180 --> 01:18:07,751 - To me, the most exciting part is re-entry. 1984 01:18:07,817 --> 01:18:09,853 - Heh-heh-heh. - Hm-heh-heh. 1985 01:18:09,919 --> 01:18:10,987 Yeah, we get to do it twice! 1986 01:18:11,054 --> 01:18:12,688 [dramatic music] 1987 01:18:12,756 --> 01:18:13,890 - Do it... 1988 01:18:13,957 --> 01:18:15,792 so hard... 1989 01:18:15,859 --> 01:18:17,626 re-entry... 1990 01:18:17,693 --> 01:18:20,363 Oh, my God. You were never out to get me. 1991 01:18:20,429 --> 01:18:22,832 You just wanted to have sex with me. 1992 01:18:22,899 --> 01:18:24,533 - Yeah, baby, heh-heh. 1993 01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:26,702 - Guilty as charged, heh, you know what I'm saying? 1994 01:18:26,770 --> 01:18:27,937 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1995 01:18:28,004 --> 01:18:29,605 - These boys aren't my enemies, 1996 01:18:29,672 --> 01:18:32,341 and they're not aliens out to destroy our way of life. 1997 01:18:32,408 --> 01:18:37,747 They're just two very, very stupid and horny teenagers. 1998 01:18:37,814 --> 01:18:40,449 [quiet music] 1999 01:18:40,516 --> 01:18:42,051 - Uh, huh? 2000 01:18:42,118 --> 01:18:43,519 Heh-heh. - Yeah, come on, heh-heh. 2001 01:18:43,586 --> 01:18:45,822 - Boi-yoi-yoi-ing! 2002 01:18:45,889 --> 01:18:48,024 - I can't believe I've been hanging on to this 2003 01:18:48,091 --> 01:18:49,625 for 24 years. 2004 01:18:49,692 --> 01:18:51,761 - Yeah, I've been hanging on to it too. 2005 01:18:51,828 --> 01:18:53,262 Hm-hm-heh. 2006 01:18:53,329 --> 01:18:56,933 - And now, I know you mean you've been masturbating. 2007 01:18:57,000 --> 01:18:58,935 It's all so simple. 2008 01:18:59,002 --> 01:19:01,404 - Well, I'll be. 2009 01:19:01,470 --> 01:19:02,705 Masturbating. 2010 01:19:02,772 --> 01:19:05,641 - Let's all go home. 2011 01:19:05,708 --> 01:19:07,676 - Oh, no, I'm not gonna let everyone 2012 01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:09,345 just walk away from this. 2013 01:19:09,412 --> 01:19:13,049 I know everything you've done, every law you've broken. 2014 01:19:13,116 --> 01:19:15,785 That's right, from now on, it's gonna be my turn because-- 2015 01:19:15,852 --> 01:19:16,920 [synthetic whooshing] 2016 01:19:16,986 --> 01:19:18,254 - What? - What the hell? 2017 01:19:18,321 --> 01:19:20,990 - Beavis and Butt-Head, hear us. 2018 01:19:21,057 --> 01:19:23,692 - You need to open the door first, Smart Butt-Head. 2019 01:19:23,759 --> 01:19:25,261 - Yes, yes, the door, yes. 2020 01:19:25,328 --> 01:19:28,164 - Well observed, Smart Beavis, well observed, yes. 2021 01:19:28,231 --> 01:19:30,266 Beavis and Butt-Head, hear us. 2022 01:19:30,333 --> 01:19:32,301 You have mere seconds to enter the portal. 2023 01:19:32,368 --> 01:19:34,403 - Only by the two of you entering this portal 2024 01:19:34,470 --> 01:19:36,239 can our universes be saved. 2025 01:19:36,305 --> 01:19:39,742 - Otherwise, the entire cosmos shall perish forever. 2026 01:19:39,809 --> 01:19:41,510 Make haste. 2027 01:19:41,577 --> 01:19:43,746 - Uh, okay, haste. 2028 01:19:43,813 --> 01:19:47,150 - No, they are witnesses and they are not going anywhere! 2029 01:19:47,216 --> 01:19:49,018 And I don't know who you two freaks are 2030 01:19:49,085 --> 01:19:52,255 or how you're mixed up in this, but I'm gonna find out. 2031 01:19:52,321 --> 01:19:54,657 I am done being a laughingstock. 2032 01:19:54,723 --> 01:19:57,226 I've already called the Federal whistleblower hotline 2033 01:19:57,293 --> 01:19:58,962 and as soon as I get off hold-- 2034 01:19:59,028 --> 01:20:00,296 - Hello, can I help you? 2035 01:20:00,363 --> 01:20:02,065 - You sure can, I am calling 2036 01:20:02,131 --> 01:20:03,766 from Highland, Texas, and I-- 2037 01:20:03,833 --> 01:20:07,436 [screams] 2038 01:20:07,503 --> 01:20:08,604 - Hello? 2039 01:20:08,671 --> 01:20:10,273 Hello? 2040 01:20:10,339 --> 01:20:12,641 [scoffs] Asshole. 2041 01:20:12,708 --> 01:20:15,411 [whoosh] 2042 01:20:18,081 --> 01:20:20,249 - Hmm. Well, I will be damned. 2043 01:20:20,316 --> 01:20:21,817 - That appears to have worked. 2044 01:20:21,885 --> 01:20:23,619 - We thought it needed to be the two of you 2045 01:20:23,686 --> 01:20:24,854 to go through the portal. 2046 01:20:24,921 --> 01:20:26,622 But I guess anything would have worked. 2047 01:20:26,689 --> 01:20:28,391 We could have thrown a brick in there. 2048 01:20:28,457 --> 01:20:30,359 - It's safe to say, we were making it 2049 01:20:30,426 --> 01:20:32,428 more complicated than it needed to be. 2050 01:20:32,495 --> 01:20:34,130 - While we are the smartest Beavis and Butt-Head 2051 01:20:34,197 --> 01:20:35,464 in all the cosmos, 2052 01:20:35,531 --> 01:20:38,634 in absolute terms, we're still not so bright. 2053 01:20:38,701 --> 01:20:39,936 - Okay, boys. 2054 01:20:40,003 --> 01:20:42,105 No one can know what happened here tonight. 2055 01:20:42,171 --> 01:20:43,907 So what will it take to keep you quiet? 2056 01:20:43,973 --> 01:20:46,009 - Uh, we want to score. 2057 01:20:46,075 --> 01:20:47,443 Heh-heh. 2058 01:20:47,510 --> 01:20:48,844 - Oh, God. 2059 01:20:48,912 --> 01:20:52,348 I mean, I suppose it's not the most disgusting thing 2060 01:20:52,415 --> 01:20:54,450 I've done for my career. 2061 01:20:54,517 --> 01:20:56,419 So would it have to be both of you? 2062 01:20:56,485 --> 01:20:58,221 - That's right, Serena. 2063 01:20:58,287 --> 01:20:59,622 We're a team. - Yep. 2064 01:20:59,688 --> 01:21:01,124 - Heh-heh-heh. - Hm-hm-hm-heh. 2065 01:21:01,190 --> 01:21:06,162 - Oh, God, this is, oof, rough. 2066 01:21:06,229 --> 01:21:09,432 I'm gonna need a minute to think about this. 2067 01:21:09,498 --> 01:21:12,835 - Um, heh, Serena, whatever you decide, 2068 01:21:12,902 --> 01:21:14,637 you know, like, either way, 2069 01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:16,372 there's something I need to tell you. 2070 01:21:16,439 --> 01:21:17,473 [tender music] Um, heh. 2071 01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:20,043 Something I tried to say before, 2072 01:21:20,109 --> 01:21:21,844 but I didn't have the courage. 2073 01:21:21,911 --> 01:21:23,546 - Go ahead, Beavis. 2074 01:21:23,612 --> 01:21:27,250 - Now Serena, I've been on a long journey 2075 01:21:27,316 --> 01:21:29,852 and I've been to outer space 2076 01:21:29,919 --> 01:21:31,420 and I've been in a toilet. 2077 01:21:31,487 --> 01:21:34,123 And I think I've been to some other places 2078 01:21:34,190 --> 01:21:36,092 that, um, heh, I don't remember. 2079 01:21:36,159 --> 01:21:37,760 But um-- - You went to college. 2080 01:21:37,826 --> 01:21:40,196 - Oh, yeah, yeah, heh, I went to college-- 2081 01:21:40,263 --> 01:21:42,331 - And you went to jail. 2082 01:21:42,398 --> 01:21:44,633 - No, I don't remember that. 2083 01:21:44,700 --> 01:21:48,137 Anyway, along the way, I learned some things and stuff. 2084 01:21:48,204 --> 01:21:49,538 Or something, and, um, heh. 2085 01:21:49,605 --> 01:21:53,376 And so now, I finally am ready 2086 01:21:53,442 --> 01:21:56,212 to say to you what I've been wanting to say, 2087 01:21:56,279 --> 01:21:57,413 which is that-- 2088 01:21:57,480 --> 01:22:01,050 that I--I, um, heh, I lo-- 2089 01:22:01,117 --> 01:22:02,818 I--I-- 2090 01:22:02,885 --> 01:22:04,287 I--I lo-- 2091 01:22:04,353 --> 01:22:06,022 - Come on, kid, you can do it. 2092 01:22:06,089 --> 01:22:07,256 - I-- 2093 01:22:07,323 --> 01:22:08,491 - I love you, Serena. 2094 01:22:08,557 --> 01:22:10,593 For years, I have watched you from afar 2095 01:22:10,659 --> 01:22:13,029 through the portal, entranced by your beauty, 2096 01:22:13,096 --> 01:22:14,497 your elegance, your grace, 2097 01:22:14,563 --> 01:22:16,665 your intelligence, your knowledge of science. 2098 01:22:16,732 --> 01:22:18,101 - Wait a second. 2099 01:22:18,167 --> 01:22:19,902 - And I have a better offer for you. 2100 01:22:19,969 --> 01:22:21,604 Come with me to my universe, 2101 01:22:21,670 --> 01:22:23,672 and I will show you the mysteries of the cosmos 2102 01:22:23,739 --> 01:22:25,874 as we travel across the galaxies, 2103 01:22:25,941 --> 01:22:28,377 beyond anything NASA will ever achieve... 2104 01:22:28,444 --> 01:22:30,413 fulfilling all the dreams you ever had 2105 01:22:30,479 --> 01:22:33,382 since you were a little girl staring up at the stars. 2106 01:22:33,449 --> 01:22:35,518 * * 2107 01:22:35,584 --> 01:22:39,322 - Wow, that is, surprisingly, 2108 01:22:39,388 --> 01:22:41,557 everything I've ever dreamed of. 2109 01:22:41,624 --> 01:22:43,592 - Um, I have an offer too, um, heh. 2110 01:22:43,659 --> 01:22:46,162 I found a coupon in the car for Taco Bell. 2111 01:22:46,229 --> 01:22:48,197 I was thinking maybe we could, um, 2112 01:22:48,264 --> 01:22:49,765 we could go have a taco-- 2113 01:22:49,832 --> 01:22:52,101 - Also I was thinking we might score. 2114 01:22:52,168 --> 01:22:53,102 - You know what? 2115 01:22:53,169 --> 01:22:54,537 So was I. 2116 01:22:54,603 --> 01:22:57,106 - Yeah, sometimes the Taco Bell has a Pizza Hut. 2117 01:22:57,173 --> 01:23:00,109 You know, if you don't like tacos, heh, or nachos. 2118 01:23:00,176 --> 01:23:02,078 [whoosh] 2119 01:23:02,145 --> 01:23:05,781 - I have a gigantic schlong. I hope that's okay. 2120 01:23:05,848 --> 01:23:07,950 * * 2121 01:23:08,017 --> 01:23:10,286 - Oh, boy, yeah, I knew it. 2122 01:23:10,353 --> 01:23:11,320 Here we go again. 2123 01:23:11,387 --> 01:23:13,089 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 2124 01:23:13,156 --> 01:23:15,624 - Beavis, you're a dumbass. 2125 01:23:15,691 --> 01:23:17,026 Heh-heh-heh. - Hm-hm-hm-heh. 2126 01:23:17,093 --> 01:23:20,196 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm-hm-heh. 2127 01:23:20,263 --> 01:23:22,965 [quiet music] 2128 01:23:23,032 --> 01:23:24,367 - And there you have it. 2129 01:23:24,433 --> 01:23:26,702 The greatest story ever told. 2130 01:23:26,769 --> 01:23:28,704 Heh-heh-heh. - Pretty cool, yeah, heh-heh. 2131 01:23:28,771 --> 01:23:31,274 - We promised those government buttholes that we wouldn't 2132 01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,908 tell anyone what happened, and they gave us 2133 01:23:32,975 --> 01:23:35,344 a brand-new TV and put our house back 2134 01:23:35,411 --> 01:23:36,979 exactly the way it was. 2135 01:23:37,046 --> 01:23:40,383 - And it wasn't me, but somewhere out there, 2136 01:23:40,449 --> 01:23:41,850 there's a Beavis who scored. 2137 01:23:41,917 --> 01:23:43,452 Hm, yeah, heh-heh-heh. 2138 01:23:43,519 --> 01:23:47,323 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm, heh. 2139 01:23:47,390 --> 01:23:49,525 - Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Hm, heh-heh, heh-heh. 2140 01:23:49,592 --> 01:23:52,895 [triumphant music] 2141 01:23:52,961 --> 01:24:00,436 * * 2142 01:24:01,670 --> 01:24:06,008 [cheers and applause] 2143 01:24:13,649 --> 01:24:17,220 - Smart Beavis and Smart Butt-Head, 2144 01:24:17,286 --> 01:24:19,054 we honor you. 2145 01:24:19,122 --> 01:24:25,794 - For you, Smart Beavis, are the first among us to score. 2146 01:24:25,861 --> 01:24:29,765 - And you, Smart Butt-Head, were able to watch 2147 01:24:29,832 --> 01:24:34,603 by hiding in a suitcase at the foot of the bed. 2148 01:24:34,670 --> 01:24:36,472 - Serena left immediately 2149 01:24:36,539 --> 01:24:39,242 and is not returning phone calls or texts. 2150 01:24:39,308 --> 01:24:41,144 - But no matter. 2151 01:24:41,210 --> 01:24:45,248 Tonight, we celebrate! 2152 01:24:45,314 --> 01:24:48,851 [cheers and applause] 2153 01:24:48,917 --> 01:24:53,889 [snickering] 2154 01:25:04,767 --> 01:25:11,907 * * 2155 01:25:54,783 --> 01:25:56,018 - Chirp. 142406