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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Hello, welcome to Top Gear,
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00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:36,000
where tonight, things are
a bit out of the ordinary,
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00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,720
because I can't help but notice
little Chrissy Harris
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00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,960
has a certain spring in his step.
Look at him.
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He does. I'd say he's even
looking a little bit...jaunty.
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00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,720
He is! He's perky.
He's cock-a-hoop.
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00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,080
What's the news, Christopher?
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Two-for-one at Harrods?
No, even better than that.
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00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:51,800
Go on. Let us into the secret.
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00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,920
Tonight's the show when I get
to put Fred in a tiny plastic car
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00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,240
and push him off the side
of a mountain.
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00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,680
Oh. Glad we can make you
happy, finally.
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Anyway, that's all coming up later.
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00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,560
But we kick off tonight by
talking about TV cop shows.
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Love a police procedural, Pad.
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We do. Specifically, we're talking
about that noble tradition
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of TV cop cars.
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Because there was once a time,
back in the day,
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when Luther was in short pants
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00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,400
and everyone thought H in
Line Of Duty was in Steps,
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00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,840
when telly police cars were
legends in their own right.
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00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,160
Cop a look at this.
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We got company, all right.
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Slip on the leather jacket and
the aviator shades.
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00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,920
It's time to rewind to
the TV cop show golden age.
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A time when screen coppers
played by their own rules...
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Get your trousers on -
you're nicked.
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..and drove proper cars.
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Cars that were as famous
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as the actors behind the wheel.
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00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,360
But to really show how special
they were,
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we've been given the chance to
have a little nosey round
34
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,320
some of the all-time greats.
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00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:14,400
Ah, now...we're starting off
with an absolute peach.
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As we call it in Bolton,
Mammie Vice.
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00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,840
Put your hands where I can see 'em!
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00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,840
Crockett and Tubbs. Yes!
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Ferrari Testarossa.
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Let's get it out of the way now -
you're going to call me Tubbs.
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00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,960
No, no, no, no.
Don't be like that, Chris.
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Hey, but I'll tell you what,
we've missed a trick, though.
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Edit this in - Tubbs. Tubbs.
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THEY LAUGH
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Can I give you a fun fact on this?
Go on.
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00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:42,040
The first two series used a Daytona
on a Corvette chassis.
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And Enzo Ferrari didn't like that.
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00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,600
He sent them two Testarossas.
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00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,440
That's a really, really lovely car.
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00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,920
This sounds ridiculous,
but in what world do you walk past
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00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,800
a Testarossa, see a Capri, and go,
"I'd rather have that"?
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00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,880
Bodie and Doyle,
they were heroes, weren't they?
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00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,480
When you played Professionals
at school, who were you?
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00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,720
Bodie. I were Bodie. Yeah.
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00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,120
Didn't want to be Doyle,
with the whole curly hair
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00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,040
and all that deep thinking.
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You want to be Bodie,
booting down the doors.
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You're going to hate me here.
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00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,160
I know the names,
and I've heard of it...
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00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,080
Hang on a minute. No!
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00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,680
You've never seen The Professionals?
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I know what it is!
I've heard of it.
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00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,960
You call yourself British?!
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00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,440
Are you aware of the fact
we have a Queen in this country?
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00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,280
Well, yeah, she gave me an MBE.
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00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,800
Oh, I love that. Oh, I like that!
Thanks for popping in, Chris.
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Next car. Thank you.
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Look, the small-screen heroes
just go on and on.
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00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,160
These cars were actually
characters in their shows.
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00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,400
Exactly. They were as important
as the cops themselves.
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00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:49,760
Take Simon Templar's super-sleek,
but brilliantly understated
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00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,960
Volvo P1800 in The Saint.
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00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,440
This is the most beautiful Volvo
I think I've ever seen. Gorgeous.
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00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:04,040
Or...the low-key but very punchy
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00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:09,040
Sierra Sapphire RS Cosworth
in Spender.
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00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:16,000
I've got to say, I could see
Jimmy Nail driving this now.
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00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:20,560
And how about DCI Gene Hunt's
Audi Quattro -
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00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:24,840
that brilliant '80s throwback
in Ashes To Ashes?
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00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,480
Totally iconic car.
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00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:30,640
Independent of the programme -
an amazing vehicle.
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00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:34,520
And, of course, there was
Dempsey And Makepeace -
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starring the Mercedes 500 SL,
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00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:42,440
beautifully cast against
Ford's Escort XR3i Cabriolet.
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00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:47,360
This was a brilliant piece
of product placement.
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00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,520
People went out and
bought them in their droves.
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00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:53,320
And again, it was a personality
on the show.
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00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:59,080
For me, though, the absolute best
of the classic cop-car crop
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00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:02,320
could only be this little beauty.
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00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,280
HE LAUGHS
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00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:12,240
Starsky & Hutch's iconic
Ford Gran Torino!
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00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,520
What a show Starsky & Hutch was.
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00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,120
I absolutely loved it.
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00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:22,240
A couple of undercover cops
driving around
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the mean streets of Bay City,
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in, let's be honest,
the least undercover cop car ever.
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00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:39,720
First shown in 1975,
Starsky & Hutch was a global hit.
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00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,360
And the California detectives'
antics behind the wheel
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made the Gran Torino one of
the most famous cars in TV history.
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00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:54,200
But the truth is,
underneath the stripes,
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00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:58,840
the big old Ford didn't have
a whole lot to shout about.
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00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:02,400
The Gran Torinos from
that era of American cars,
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00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:06,560
where they had absolutely
massive engines...
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00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,600
..but not much performance.
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00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:13,200
So, the show's mechanics had
a tinker about with the gear ratio
105
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:16,040
and made the car quicker
off the line -
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00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,520
but it wouldn't go above 50mph.
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00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,200
And if it went above 50mph,
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the engine'd blow up.
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Not very good for catching bad guys.
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Hey, this is one quick car!
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Yeah, it's fast.
No, not fast - quick.
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There's a difference.
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00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:37,560
And it's not exactly
what you'd call agile.
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00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,200
TYRES SCREECH Whoa!
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00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:45,000
It corners like a house
on a skateboard!
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And the braking, well...
it's pretty much nonexistent.
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In we go. TYRES SCREECH
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Ohh!
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00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,240
It's so wallowy!
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00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,000
There we go.
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00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,480
How very...McGuinness.
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00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,560
How cool is that!
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00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,160
My ultimate, on the other hand,
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is far more...cultured.
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00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,960
This might sound ridiculous,
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00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:24,040
but in a world where I've been
so lucky and privileged to drive
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00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,280
so many expensive, glamorous cars,
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00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:30,800
that an old Mark 2 Jag
should be so...erm...
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..emotional.
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00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,760
But this is Inspector Morse's car -
the actual one.
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00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,440
And that's my favourite
TV programme of all time.
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00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,120
Inspector Morse arrived in 1987,
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and soon became a household name -
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00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,720
the story of a grumpy,
erudite Oxfordshire detective
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00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:58,480
always at the wheel of
an old 1960s Jag.
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00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,880
An old Jag that, once upon a time,
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00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:06,440
had a reputation for grace
and sophistication.
138
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,640
But by the 1980s,
when Morse arrived, well,
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00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,800
it had a different image, let's say.
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00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,320
It was a bit more bank robber
than stately home.
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00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,200
But it all fitted
with Morse's character -
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00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:26,360
the curmudgeon intellect
who loved real ale,
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00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,840
loved intellectual discussion,
loved crosswords,
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00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,480
disliked...pleasantries.
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00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:37,080
Come on! Come on. Weekend drivers!
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00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:43,360
And if a great police car in
a TV show says something about
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the driver or that character
that almost no lines could,
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then I think this is
the cleverest of the lot.
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00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,720
And the best part -
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00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:58,240
this genius piece of casting
didn't come from some big-money
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00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,320
product-placement deal with Jaguar.
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00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:06,360
The producers found the Mark 2
in a scrapyard, complete with
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00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,680
its after-market vinyl roof.
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00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:15,480
I'll tell you what,
it drives beautifully.
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Such a gorgeous shape.
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00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,920
And inside, this big, thin-rimmed
steering wheel - Bakelite -
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00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,600
moving around in my hands,
I can really feel what's going on.
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00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,760
The gearbox - accurate.
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It's a little peachy gearbox.
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00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,640
This is the baby 2.4-litre,
120 horsepower.
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00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,680
It does 100mph flat out,
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0-60, over 14 seconds.
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00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:39,520
But who cares when you're
driving Morse's car?
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Not me.
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00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,720
Because now the support acts
are out of the way,
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it's time to introduce
a proper star.
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00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:04,760
Magnum PI's Ferrari 308 GTS.
168
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,680
Oh, pass me a flowery shirt,
169
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,880
stick an hamster on me top lip,
170
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:13,760
and I'm ready to solve
some crime in Hawaii!
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00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:19,280
Now, all right, Magnum wasn't
technically a cop -
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he was a private investigator.
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00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:27,320
But come on - when catching bad guys
looks this good, who cares?
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00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:35,520
Imagine you've got the
run of Hawaii,
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00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,840
you've got a revvy V8 behind you,
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00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,760
a manual gearbox, rear-wheel drive.
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00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,280
ENGINE ROARS
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00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,720
Oh, it looks great -
but it sounds great, too.
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00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,120
Ohh!
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00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,280
It's mad to think it now,
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00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:58,680
but Magnum wasn't originally
meant to drive the 308.
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00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,880
He was meant to drive
a Porsche 928.
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00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,040
To make the most of
the Hawaiian weather, though,
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00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,800
the producers wanted an
open-top version.
185
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,040
And when Porsche refused
to build 'em one,
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00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,080
the 308 was the obvious choice.
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00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,960
But Tom Selleck, he's a big lad.
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00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,320
Same height as me -
couldn't fit in it.
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00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:23,880
Ferrari said, "We're not bothered.
190
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,880
"We'll chop and weld it.
We'll make it bigger.
191
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,320
"We'll get him in it."
192
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:32,040
So, Magnum was upgraded to
an Italian Stallion.
193
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,640
It is a squeeze in here, though.
194
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,800
I've got the seat all the way
back. I'm nearly lying down.
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00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,480
I can barely get into fourth gear
because me leg's in t'way.
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00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,360
I'm in me stockinged feet.
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00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,760
I had me size-12s on,
198
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,360
but I was pressing all the pedals
at the same time.
199
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,480
There's about that much
room between 'em.
200
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,520
But I've got to say,
it doesn't matter.
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00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,840
ENGINE ROARS
202
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:03,880
He was living the dream, Magnum.
He was living it.
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00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,280
Listen to that!
204
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:12,360
Who's this flash Harry?
205
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,800
Is that Magnum PI, I spy?
206
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,480
I'm hunting him down!
207
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,120
SIREN WAILS
208
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,000
Oh, no, I'm getting chased!
209
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,720
Let's get that Ferrari!
210
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,800
He really does think he's Starsky.
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00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,920
I've got to admit, though,
I'm getting into the Magnum vibes.
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00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,520
I'm thinking of growing a tash.
213
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:47,800
Oh, he span out! You span out!
214
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,480
BOTH LAUGH
215
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,760
All right, Morse, here I come.
216
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,360
Oh, God.
217
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,520
You can't get away from
Starsky and Hutch, Morse!
218
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:07,240
There am I,
imagining Oxfordshire, dons,
219
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,960
clever-thinking crosswords...
220
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:15,080
McGuinness comes at me
in that thing. What a clown.
221
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,800
HE LAUGHS
222
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,120
Oh, it's so much fun!
223
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,800
Do you know what's great
about this, lads?
224
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,080
You'd never get these
three cars together.
225
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,800
We've got the best of the
'60s, '70s and '80s right here.
226
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,000
Proper iconic cop cars.
227
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:41,080
These are pure class.
Look at them - pure class.
228
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,520
Yeah, but if you look
at cop cars now, Paddy,
229
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:47,000
they don't have the character
like these, do they?
230
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,240
No. No, they don't.
231
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,640
If I see a bent copper,
I only know one way -
232
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,000
and that's full throttle.
233
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:57,920
This is what cop shows
look like these days.
234
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:03,280
It's all gritty realism and accurate
representations of modern policing.
235
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,720
Yeah, they're great dramas.
236
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,800
I've got some painkillers
in the car. I'll just...
237
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,240
No, don't move. I'll get them.
238
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,240
But when one of your leads
is swanning around in a nice,
239
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,200
comfy Volvo because of his bad back,
240
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:19,760
we can't help but see a bit of
a missed opportunity.
241
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,280
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's time to introduce
242
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:28,840
our nominees for a new era
of TV cop-car stars.
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00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:32,720
HE LAUGHS
244
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,920
ENGINE ROARS
245
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,640
That's my theme tune right here!
246
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:39,960
Listen to it!
247
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:51,280
The Dodge Charger SRT
Hellcat Widebody.
248
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:55,160
Thanks to a supercharged
6.2-litre V8,
249
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,640
this is a 500-brake horsepower
four-door.
250
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,800
So, plenty of room in the back
for a couple of punks,
251
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:06,600
in a car that'll hit 60mph
in 3.5 seconds.
252
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:13,640
And it won't give up the chase
until it hits 196mph.
253
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,920
And I love the way it looks.
254
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,560
It's so mean. It's intimidating.
255
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:24,720
This is a car driven by a cop
you know that can't be messed with -
256
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,120
in between his trips to
the petrol station.
257
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,880
And when I said this big old
slice of American muscle
258
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,240
has 500 horsepower, it does -
259
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,680
when you use the regular black key.
260
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,320
But when you buy
a Charger Hellcat,
261
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,880
you also get given a red key.
262
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:52,520
And the red key gives you
700 horsepower.
263
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,400
You've heard of
"Good Cop, Bad Cop"?
264
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,800
This is Psychotic Cop.
265
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,440
ENGINE ROARS Whooooa!
266
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:04,400
Still so very...McGuinness.
267
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:09,400
What the modern TV cop really needs
is a precision instrument.
268
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:17,080
Introducing the very yellow
Audi RS3.
269
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,360
HE LAUGHS
270
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,800
If telly cop shows have taught us
anything over the years,
271
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,360
it's that to catch the bad guys,
272
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,800
you've got to think like a bad guy.
273
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,920
And bad guys making a getaway
don't just need to be quick -
274
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,800
they need to be nimble, agile.
275
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,000
So, I've thought like a bad guy,
276
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,320
and I've chosen the ultimate
modern hot hatch.
277
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,160
It's compact. It's grippy.
278
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:49,800
It's seriously quick.
279
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,880
And I'm thinking heritage here,
280
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,040
because this is basically
the modern version of
281
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,320
the Life On Mars Audi Quattro.
282
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,280
Like the old Quattro,
it's got a five-cylinder
283
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:03,880
turbo-charged engine up front,
284
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,880
this time with 400 horsepower,
285
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:10,080
and it's got Audi's legendary
Quattro four-wheel-drive system.
286
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:18,360
If you're chasing mobsters
around mean city streets,
287
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,960
this is what you need.
288
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,440
It's quick!
289
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,320
Quick on a road, maybe.
290
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:34,640
But I reckon the modern telly cop
should be quick everywhere.
291
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,960
Whoa! Get in!
292
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,720
The Ford F-150 Raptor.
293
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:50,480
The truck that'll stop at nothing
to dish out justice.
294
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:55,280
Yeah, this is the world's
best-selling pick-up
295
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,760
made tougher and faster.
296
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:03,960
The V6 engine is based on
the one in Ford's GT supercar,
297
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,600
and makes 450 horsepower.
298
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,000
It might weigh
as much as a bungalow,
299
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,320
but this thing shifts.
300
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:16,840
Off-road, on-road,
cities, mountains -
301
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,360
you're just not getting away.
302
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,680
HE LAUGHS
303
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:27,640
You've just got to remind yourself
how big this thing is.
304
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,560
It gets going in a straight line,
305
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,720
and then, the corners...
a little bit trickier.
306
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:41,120
In fact, the Raptor is way
too big for UK roads.
307
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:46,160
But TV cops, they don't worry
about parking at Asda.
308
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,360
they just want to make
a big entrance.
309
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:53,040
And nothing makes as big an
entrance as a Raptor.
310
00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,800
FRED ON RADIO: Hello, hello, hello.
311
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,640
What's going on here, then, boys?
312
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,320
HE LAUGHS
313
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,520
Lovely stickerage, Fred.
314
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,000
Bold choice of car, though. FRED LAUGHS
315
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,960
Why have you written "Ranger"
on a Raptor?
316
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,400
It's a Ford Raptor,
not a Ford Ranger.
317
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,800
Because the Ranger's driving, Chris.
318
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,480
You've heard Chuck Norris...
Texas Ranger?
319
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,000
Flintoff, Preston Ranger!
320
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,440
HE LAUGHS Oh, God.
321
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,560
I've gone full-on '80s action cop.
322
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,320
LAUGHTER
323
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:34,840
Honestly, it is an absolute
monster, this thing. I love it.
324
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:39,280
I see Chris has gone for
a mid-sized family hatchback.
325
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,920
What's that about?
326
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,880
It's an Audi RS3,
and if I need to catch baddies,
327
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,480
which is the name of the game,
this thing's a weapon.
328
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,560
It's the obvious choice.
329
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:52,120
Well, to see who'd actually
chosen best,
330
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:56,600
we'd been told to head to
a nearby deserted power station.
331
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,360
Look at this, lads.
332
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,640
I'm smelling bad guys.
333
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:08,000
Just the kind of playground
you'd pick for a bit
334
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,320
of TV crime-fighting fun.
335
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,160
Oh, yeah. Oh, no. THEY CHUCKLE
336
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,200
Yes.
337
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,080
Ohh! Yes.
338
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,760
Now we're talking, boys!
339
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,400
All right? Yes.
340
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,680
Wh-wh-wh-what? What?
341
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,000
Looking at your trousers,
is your cop based on
342
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,320
an ex-geography teacher?
343
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,240
I'm not going to lie. Yeah?
344
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,960
I was hoping the trousers
would be a bit more fitted.
345
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,000
OK? Preston Ranger.
346
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,760
What are you doing?
347
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,640
You two are like a couple of
children that have had a go
348
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,240
in a fancy dress shop.
349
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:51,120
Well, let me introduce you to
Officer...Dirty Cobra.
350
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:54,200
Hang on. Dirty Cobra?
351
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,600
That's right. Why?
352
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,760
Well, I took a bit of Dirty Harry
and a bit of Cobra,
353
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,200
mixed 'em together.
What've you got in your mouth?
354
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,320
Dirty Cobra?! Toothpick.
Because what that's good for -
355
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,320
in like in any classic film,
you see a baddy, you go...
356
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,560
HE SPITS
357
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,200
..and then, you're in.
I've got plenty of spares.
358
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,960
That reminds me. Hang on.
Hang on. Talking about...
359
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,480
While he's gone, Pad,
why are you wearing shades?
360
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,440
All good cops wear shades, Chris.
361
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,280
Brought me own toothpick.
362
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,240
CHRIS LAUGHS I don't need a gun.
363
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,360
Woodworm. They went out
of business, didn't they?
364
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:28,200
Yeah, when I retired. HE LAUGHS
365
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,480
So, my backstory is...
366
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,040
..ex-cricketer,
retired through injury.
367
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,960
It was sad. I lost me way for
a while. I hit the drink.
368
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,760
You didn't.
My life was going nowhere!
369
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,360
So, I decided...
I'm going to give a bit back.
370
00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:46,280
I'm going to go back to Preston.
371
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,040
I'm going to clean them streets up.
372
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,960
I don't need a gun. I've got this.
Is that why you've had your thing
373
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,720
signed up like Environmental Health?
374
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,640
Yeah, cleaning it up.
All right, I like that.
375
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:55,960
I do t'bins, as well.
376
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,080
What's the backstory here?
Single man?
377
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,160
LAUGHTER
378
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,400
What is it? Right...
379
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,560
Where does that jumper start
and stop, and your chin finish?
380
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,560
Right, stop there.
381
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,160
The character's name -
you're going to love this -
382
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:10,840
is Dave Tall. What?
383
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,440
It's a visual gag,
cos I'm not actually tall.
384
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,320
So, the whole time I say,
"I'm Dave Tall."
385
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,360
And everyone goes,
"He's actually short."
386
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:19,360
I'm actually a failed racing driver.
387
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,200
Yes, you are. LAUGHTER
388
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,920
He's playing himself.
He's Chris Harris.
389
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:25,960
You're Chris Harris in a polo neck.
390
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,440
The big change of wardrobe for me
is I've bought a new jumper -
391
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:29,920
opportunity for the winter.
392
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,360
And when things get tasty...
Oh, he's got summat here.
393
00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:35,440
What's he got? This is the secret.
Here we go. This'll be good.
394
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,400
..Dave Tall puts on
his driving gloves.
395
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,920
Is that it? This signals the fact
that I'm in pursuit in the show.
396
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,320
So, you'll see the red gloves
on the steering wheel,
397
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,120
and all the kids will go,
"Tall's about to get tasty."
398
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:49,520
What he's done, this morning
he's got up and he's thought,
399
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,640
"What have I got in me
drawer at home?"
400
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,160
And he's...that's it. That is it.
401
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,040
Look at the gloves. Look at him.
402
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,080
Well, anyhow, listen, we've all
got our cop characters now.
403
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,120
Now, every classic cop film
has a signature move,
404
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:04,080
something when they rock up in
the car and they get out,
405
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,480
and it freeze-frames on them.
Yeah, yeah. Right?
406
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,880
I want to see all your
signature moves.
407
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,960
Now, get yourselves set.
I'm going to...start you off,
408
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,440
show you what the crack is.
409
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,120
I reckon yours could be trying to
drive that in a straight line.
410
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:17,720
Here we go.
411
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,800
Hey... HE SPITS
412
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,000
All right. Go, Cobra.
413
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,120
Cobra?
414
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:27,280
Paddy, where are yer?
415
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,480
I'm sorry...
Dirty Cobra, where are yer?
416
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:34,400
DC's just on a stakeout.
417
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,080
A stakeout? DC!
418
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,760
There's a criminal in
my car park, DC.
419
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,080
THEY GIGGLE
420
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,400
Leave it to Dirty Cobra.
421
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,000
PULSING '80S SYNTH THEME
422
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,800
Ooh, here he comes.
423
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,280
Where's he going?
Why's he walking around t'car?
424
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,680
He's going to make a gesture.
Oh, here we go.
425
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,360
What's he doing? Going to make
a powerful physical gesture.
426
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:26,480
Here we go.
427
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,200
I hope he's got insurance.
428
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:36,160
THEY LAUGH
429
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,480
Seriously?
Hey, what do you reckon, boys?
430
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,600
Why do you want him
to have insurance?
431
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,200
Why? Have a look at him, son.
432
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,920
He's been apprehended -
by the unconscious police.
433
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,640
Look at the punk on the floor.
You can take that out now.
434
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,360
Don't touch the DC toothpick!
435
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,240
Take it out! All right!
436
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,760
Geography teacher... CHRIS LAUGHS
437
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,360
You're up next, Tall. Ow!
438
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,760
Oh, are you radioing
to Dave Tall?
439
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,920
DCI Small, are you OK?
440
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:09,560
BLEEP Tall.
441
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,400
Oh, sorry. Sorry. Tall. Tall. Tall.
442
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,280
Are you ready, DCI Tall?
443
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,560
Yes. Come on, let's see
what you've got.
444
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,760
A3 - I'm still not sure.
You know what I mean?
445
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,680
SWANKY ACTION THEME PLAYS
446
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:37,760
SIREN WHOOPS
447
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,200
Ohh! PADDY LAUGHS
448
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,360
Oh, yes!
FRED AND PADDY: Ohh!
449
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,160
You know...
450
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,560
..when you've been Talled.
451
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,680
"You...you know..."?
452
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,360
That's...it's no "go ahead,
punk, make my day," is it?
453
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:18,280
What? Look, I still think
it's a nice catchphrase.
454
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,600
And I've always got
cardboard boxes round me,
455
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:21,960
which is a strong look.
456
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,400
I thought it was quite...
Where's the criminal?
457
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:28,600
Who have you apprehended?
Are you apprehending Amazon?
458
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,640
BOTH: "No box is safe!"
459
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,480
Oh! And then, he did that
with his hands!
460
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:34,800
He did that!
461
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:40,920
OK. Dave Tall might need a
bit more development.
462
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:44,480
But no matter, because it was
time to embrace the crazy
463
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:48,800
once and for all with Flintoff,
Preston Ranger.
464
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,520
Right, set him off.
465
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:58,600
Andrew, show us what you've got.
466
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,280
Coming in right now.
467
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,320
CRUNCHY ROCK THEME PLAYS
468
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,240
BANJO PLAYS
469
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,000
Oh, yeah, that's the shot!
470
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,240
Oh, my God, whoa!
471
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,440
Yes! Yes! Yes!
472
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,920
Whoa, Preston Ranger!
Now, that's an arrival.
473
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:43,560
That is an arrival!
474
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,280
You cut me mid-flow.
475
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:46,320
Sorry!
476
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,520
I'll shut the door and...
Do it again, do it again!
477
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,720
I'll get back in character.
Sorry, sorry. Oh, God! Bloody hell!
478
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,480
Oh, God, here we go.
479
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,520
BOTH LAUGH
480
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,720
Whoa, Preston Ranger!
481
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,920
BOTH LAUGH
482
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,200
Well done, Preston Ranger!
483
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,880
Have they come out of your bag?
Your balls have dropped!
484
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:23,080
They've come out
the bottom of me trousers!
485
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,720
LAUGHTER
486
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,000
I'll put 'em back up.
487
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,320
Yeah, I think it's probably
t'best bet.
488
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,080
BOTH LAUGH
489
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:39,760
Howdy.
490
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,560
Oh, what's he doing? Dunno.
491
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:46,520
That's gone a long way.
492
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,320
Howzat?
493
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,280
Now, at this point,
494
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:59,120
it was decided it was time
to take a more focused approach
495
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:03,040
to finding out who had chosen
the best new TV cop car.
496
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,600
And that meant it was chase time.
497
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:10,800
With the power station turned
into a temporary racetrack,
498
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,120
each taking turns as the cop,
499
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:17,880
we'd now hunt down a suitably
nefarious Chrysler 300C,
500
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:22,320
driven by a couple of...
conveniently available robbers.
501
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:27,160
And, to make sure this serious
testing didn't result in
502
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,640
an even more serious accident,
503
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:34,040
each car had been fitted
with proximity sensors.
504
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,360
Get within ten metres of
the getaway car for ten seconds,
505
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,640
and the chase...would be over.
506
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,560
Quickest to catch the crims wins.
507
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:05,360
Right, straight for that bag,
straight in - leave your door open.
508
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:06,680
Quick getaway.
509
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,000
Told him t'leave the door open.
He shuts it.
510
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,320
Dick.
511
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,960
What's going on here, then?
512
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,720
TOOTS HORN Oh, hang on.
513
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:21,640
Get in, you tool!
514
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,120
Come on, go, go, go, go!
515
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,080
Oh, here he comes!
Here's the Ranger!
516
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:30,600
Tell you what, he's going quick.
517
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:33,160
Stop right there!
The Ranger's coming!
518
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:34,600
HORN TOOTS
519
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,920
Oh, my God, he's got his
lights on, as well.
520
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:41,640
HORN TOOTS
521
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,120
Oh, he's just smashed
the whole lot out of the way!
522
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:51,080
That thing looks properly worrying
in your rear-view mirror,
523
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:52,120
I tell you, Pad.
524
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:55,080
Come on, don't dig in now, Raptor.
I've got 'em in me sights!
525
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:01,280
He's closed a massive gap on us.
Here we go, whoa!
526
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,040
Whoa...whoa!
527
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:06,960
Here we go, I'm catching 'em,
I'm catching 'em.
528
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,560
Oh, he's all over us like a rat.
He's over us like a rat!
529
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,760
Look at the size of
the bloody thing!
530
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:15,800
Say you what -
off-road capabilities,
531
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:16,840
I'm going to use 'em.
532
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,960
This is where Dirty Cobra
gets it back here.
533
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,600
Oh, you know, he's disappeared.
534
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,000
Where is he? Where's he gone?
535
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,840
There he is, there he is!
We've got yer!
536
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:32,280
Oh, he's there!
537
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:35,800
Coming for yer.
538
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,080
He's onto us, he's onto us.
539
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,360
SENSOR BEEPS Keep beeping, keep beeping.
540
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,000
He's going to get us! Shut up!
Go straight down there!
541
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:45,160
Come on, pull over, man.
You're done. You're done!
542
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,000
LAUGHTER
543
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,440
He's on us! The Ranger's on us!
544
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:57,560
Come on!
545
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,080
He's gone. He's gone, he's gone!
546
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,440
Nobody gets away from
the Ranger!
547
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,440
No, we haven't. No, we haven't!
548
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,240
Do you know why I'm stopping yer?
549
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,960
THEY LAUGH
We've got a good idea, Ranger.
550
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,120
Your back right tyre's down.
551
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,600
I'm not going to write you
a ticket this time. Thank you.
552
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,400
But get yourself home, drive
carefully, and get it sorted.
553
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:26,760
Howzat?
554
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:35,200
That was an impressively ruthless
four-minute, 50-second chase.
555
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:38,120
Next on duty, the Dirty Cobra -
556
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,800
ready to unleash his
Charger Hellcat.
557
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:49,680
Go! Go, go, go, go, go.
558
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,680
All right.
559
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:54,800
Oh!
560
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,520
HE LAUGHS Here we go!
561
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,160
Let's get these punks!
562
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,200
Oh, here he comes.
He's right behind yer. Is he?
563
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,760
The Cobra's here, boys!
564
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,680
That's a bit slippy.
565
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:17,480
Come on! What...we're not...
566
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,560
Why have you not got your
gloves on neither?
567
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,520
Cos I'm not the policeman
at the moment!
568
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,640
Yeah, but you're faster in your
gloves. That's the trademark.
569
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:28,120
Whoa! The Hellcat's all
over the shop!
570
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:30,720
We're getting away from him.
We're going to get away with this!
571
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,800
We're going to get away with it!
Mexico, here we come!
572
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:42,720
The Charger is so powerful,
573
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,720
I can't get it in a straight
bloody line!
574
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,960
OK, so it turns out,
575
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,480
while the Charger does have
all the crime-fighting grunt
576
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,320
you'll ever need...
577
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,680
This don't look good.
578
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,960
..on anything other than
a bone-dry tarmac road,
579
00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:03,440
it is a massive handful.
580
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:08,080
Ho-ho! Too much goddamn
power for this car!
581
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,280
He can't get close to us.
582
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:16,680
On the plus side, that does at least
mean all you Dirty Cobra fans
583
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:20,200
will be treated to some very
lengthy car chases.
584
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,280
Ah, come on.
585
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:25,000
Keep it going, keep it going.
586
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,320
But when it comes to ending them...
587
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,400
I thought this was meant
to be stressful,
588
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,160
trying to get away from the police.
589
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:34,160
..you do have to get a bit creative.
590
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,800
Dirty Cobra's going
to go right down here.
591
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,000
Playing by me own rules now.
Come on, the Cobra!
592
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,760
Whoa, oh, he's in range.
Where is he?
593
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,880
Oh, yeah! No, no, no, no!
594
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,680
There he is. There he is!
595
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:52,000
THEY LAUGH
596
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,800
So, with Fred making off
with the loot,
597
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:59,840
after a chase that took a full
11 minutes and 36 seconds,
598
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:04,200
let's just say the Dirty Cobra
would be turning in his badge.
599
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,320
I was the passenger! He was driving.
I was the passenger!
600
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,000
You're going to prison, son.
601
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,480
I hope you've got insurance
for that.
602
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:16,120
And, with the Preston Ranger
still the cop to beat,
603
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:20,120
finally it was time for
a certain failed racing driver
604
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,000
to slip on the gloves.
605
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:26,120
HORN TOOTS Come on! Got it!
606
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,840
Come on, Dave, now's your chance.
607
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,240
I'm after them.
608
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:34,160
I've heard Dave Small's in town.
609
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,400
Good God, this thing is
fast round here.
610
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:41,640
Ohh! It's a bit shaky on t'brakes.
611
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:43,960
Where'd you get
this getaway car from?
612
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,520
This is so grippy and so fast.
613
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,520
This is why I chose the hot hatch!
614
00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:54,880
Oh! Oh, God!
615
00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:59,800
Whoa, sideways!
616
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,920
I'm not going to prison, Fred.
I'm not going to prison!
617
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,520
It frightens me.
Imagine me and you in prison!
618
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:09,920
Oh! They'd have a field day!
619
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,840
Oh, we're on him. We're on him.
620
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,640
He's behind us. Gun it!
621
00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:20,800
He'll start taking some risks now.
622
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,360
Crims have to take risks at
some point, don't they?
623
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,000
I've seen a wall! There's a wall!
624
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:33,960
Right, right, right!
625
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,320
He's all over the place.
626
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,000
No. These are chicanes, Fred!
627
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,840
I have to take it. I'm not bothered.
I'm not bothered!
628
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,680
He's got us!
He's got us, Fred! Fred!
629
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:47,240
HE LAUGHS
630
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,480
Oh! Oh, my God.
631
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,120
Oh, here he is.
632
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,800
Officer Dave Tall!
You're nicked, both of you!
633
00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:59,720
Yeah, I'm in a lot of trouble.
634
00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:01,640
I bet that was a wild ride,
wasn't it?
635
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,280
Gotta be honest -
prison seems a better option.
636
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,440
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
637
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,400
Hey!
638
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,000
OK.
639
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,200
So, I know the question
everyone's asking.
640
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:21,720
What the hell was that?
641
00:37:21,720 --> 00:37:24,360
No, no, they want to know who won.
642
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,680
Did Dave Tall apprehend
the perps faster
643
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,160
than the Preston Ranger?
644
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:30,680
And I have the results here.
645
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:35,960
OK. So, the Preston Ranger in
the Raptor caught the bad guys
646
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:38,360
in four minutes, 50 seconds.
647
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,920
All right, innit?
Good work, Preston Ranger.
648
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,920
Thank you. Dave Tall... HE WHISTLES
649
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:48,320
..in the family hatchback
caught the bad guys
650
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,800
in three minutes, five seconds!
651
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,560
Victory to the Tall! CHEERING
652
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,080
Nah, nah, nah. Yes! No.
653
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,920
Yes!
654
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,400
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm not having that. Not having it.
655
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,600
You can't not have that.
It's maths.
656
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,800
We're saying, then,
the ultimate TV cop car isn't
657
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:08,640
the massive, noisy muscle car,
658
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,440
isn't the massive,
noisy pick-up truck,
659
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,840
but a small German hatchback?
660
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,160
Great things come in small packages.
Really? Really?
661
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,400
I think what we're saying
is the best cop cars
662
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:20,880
are the worst telly cop cars.
663
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,960
And the worst cop cars are
the best telly cop cars.
664
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:25,680
Glad we cleared that up. Thank you.
665
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,080
And now, we must move on
to a tribute.
666
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:31,200
Last year, Britain lost
one of its greatest inventors,
667
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:35,720
Sir Clive Sinclair, the genius
brain behind the ZX Spectrum.
668
00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:37,080
Ask your parents, kids.
669
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,720
He's the man who brought
home computing and video games
670
00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:41,200
to the masses.
671
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:45,280
And also, the brain behind this -
the Sinclair C5 of 1985,
672
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:46,920
which, it's fair to say,
673
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:49,520
history hasn't judged too kindly.
674
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,440
But we've been thinking -
maybe this battery-powered pod
675
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:54,160
wasn't actually a bad idea.
676
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:56,680
Maybe it was just too far
ahead of its time.
677
00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:00,400
Exactly. Maybe in
this modern electric world,
678
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,360
the C5 makes perfect sense.
679
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,520
So, we sent Chris and Fred
to test the theory.
680
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:25,240
The Sinclair C5 was, on paper,
681
00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:28,400
a genuinely revolutionary
piece of design.
682
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,960
A small, light, affordable,
zero-emission vehicle
683
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,280
intended for urban commuting.
684
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:42,920
OK, it might have looked
a little unusual.
685
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,960
But fundamentally, Sir Clive's
vision was for the same
686
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:51,440
green and responsible future
that we're all clamouring for today.
687
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:05,400
Oh, bus, bus, bus, Chris. Bus!
688
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,000
That's not nice.
689
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:10,960
Oh, oh! BOTH LAUGH
690
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:14,800
'Ey up, we're holding traffic up.
Move up. I'm going flat out.
691
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,800
Get off, get off! Get over there.
692
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:19,960
How much power have these got?
693
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,600
About one third of a horsepower.
694
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,920
What, a hoof and a bit? Yeah.
695
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,400
15mph if you're lucky.
696
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:29,760
HORN TOOTS I don't like it.
697
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,800
The problem was,
back in the mid-'80s,
698
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:38,680
the technology simply didn't exist
to do the C5 justice.
699
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:43,000
Built in the old
Hoover factory in Wales,
700
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,680
its motor was lifted from the
cooling fan of a lorry,
701
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:49,880
and its all-electric range
was about eight miles.
702
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:55,000
So, it was hopelessly slow
when it worked...
703
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:56,320
Run out of battery.
704
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,960
..and then, dangerously slow
when it didn't.
705
00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:01,800
BICYCLE BELL DINGS
Oh.
706
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,640
CHRIS LAUGHS
707
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:11,280
Clearly, the time has come
to turn Sir Clive's vision...
708
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:12,640
Mine's died now.
709
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:17,440
..into the lean, mean, green
machine he'd always dreamt of.
710
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,400
I've got an idea, Chris.
I've got an idea.
711
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:27,680
And to show Harris just what
that dream looks like,
712
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:31,440
I told him to meet me
a few weeks later...
713
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:32,800
..in Norway.
714
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,560
Wow. OK.
715
00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:51,160
Hi, Andrew. Chris.
716
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,480
Are you ready to have
your mind blown?
717
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,840
I...what are you playing at?
718
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:01,080
I'm excited to show you this.
Look at this.
719
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,600
Are you ready?
720
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:06,640
Look at this.
721
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,120
HE LAUGHS
722
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:14,400
Oh, yes. Harnessing
the green potential of gravity,
723
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,440
and embracing speed,
724
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:20,800
this is the Sinclair Ski-5.
725
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,520
The Ski-5? Yeah.
Yeah, but what is it?
726
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:25,400
I know what you're thinking.
Stop it.
727
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,320
You're thinking I've just got
a bobsled, and I've put the shell
728
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:29,680
of a Sinclair C5 on top. Yes.
729
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,920
Oh, no, Christopher.
We've done this properly.
730
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:34,720
Obviously got rid of the wheels,
put some running rails
731
00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:36,960
on the bottom, changed the steering.
732
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:38,720
Remember that bar where you turned?
733
00:42:38,720 --> 00:42:41,480
I've gone for the pulleys,
bobsled-style.
734
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:45,080
Wouldn't it be easier just to run
headlong at a brick wall?
735
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:47,280
No, Chris.
Cos you wouldn't have to travel.
736
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:49,120
You'd just get the job done cleaner.
737
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:51,280
You know what I'm going to
try and do? What?
738
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,920
It's what Sir Clive would've
wanted when he designed it.
739
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:57,640
What? I want to break the
national speed limit of 60mph.
740
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,280
Why would you want to do that?
741
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:00,680
In honour of Sir Clive.
742
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:04,720
To help me with my mission,
743
00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:07,720
I'd be running on Norway's
national bobsleigh track
744
00:43:07,720 --> 00:43:11,800
in Lillehammer, with the help
a team of sledding experts,
745
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:15,520
led by Olympic coach
Graham Richardson.
746
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,840
What's the chance of it making it
to the bottom in one piece?
747
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,000
Ah, here he is. Here he is.
748
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,600
There's no guarantees.
749
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:28,760
Erm, there's very, very precise
lines that you have to drive to
750
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:30,560
not crash off the end of the corner.
751
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,920
Cos I've seen it on t'telly.
I saw the Olympics.
752
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:34,680
Those two lads ended up on the reds.
753
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:40,960
That word you used there beginning
with C - that's important
754
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,120
in the context of Fred.
755
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:43,760
Chris, adults speaking.
756
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,480
And the chances of getting to 60?
757
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:47,960
Erm...
758
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:50,240
I don't know. I'm not sure
about the aero on it.
759
00:43:50,240 --> 00:43:53,080
It's open sides, a little bit slow,
760
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:56,040
but it very much depends
how Fred drives it.
761
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:57,080
Ah.
762
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,000
Before letting me loose
in the Ski-5,
763
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,960
Graham needed me to learn
the course, which,
764
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:09,520
on a 16-corner track
that's nearly a mile long,
765
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:11,840
wasn't exactly straightforward.
766
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:17,360
So, as you go into the corner,
it'll come up.
767
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,240
You look for the straight.
You turn it off, and over.
768
00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:21,720
It's just like driving a car.
769
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:25,160
I thought I was turning up
to sit down and go quick.
770
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,600
This on the left, incidentally,
is the junior start,
771
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,920
where we're going to be
starting from with you today.
772
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,600
So, when you get to the second
pressure, the sled is high,
773
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:35,280
and with the nose in a good position
to actually steer through that
774
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:36,760
and come off the corner.
775
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:40,800
Graham was talking me
through it, but...
776
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,000
..he's talking a different
language to what I knew.
777
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,840
He was talking about pressures and
getting onto corners too early,
778
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,000
and pointing out little things
779
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,920
you can look at when
you're in a corner.
780
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,480
The problem with that is,
there's 16 of them.
781
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,800
And they come up pretty fast.
782
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:57,080
Especially as, all too soon,
783
00:44:57,080 --> 00:45:01,160
I was given my very own training
sleigh to take for a run.
784
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:08,320
And we're going...
Oh, we're building up speed already!
785
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:10,040
When you come out into
the 4-5 transition,
786
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:11,360
it's a nice, long straight.
787
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:13,440
And what you should do here
is just practise.
788
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,400
Just go...when I pull left,
the sled goes left.
789
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,120
When I pull right,
the sled goes right.
790
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,840
Is it fast at the minute,
or is it...? Yeah. Yeah?
791
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:21,520
Oh, yeah, this'll be cooking.
792
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:23,120
Ohhh!
793
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,360
"Don't forget to steer."
794
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,760
Today's coaching tip. Yeah, steer.
795
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,080
Top runners are going to be
about here.
796
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:35,480
And, as you let it run,
it stays parallel.
797
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:37,080
When everything else is descending,
798
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:39,640
we're staying parallel and
joining the high line.
799
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:48,320
Remember, a nice, strong steer
on the beginning of 13.
800
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:49,800
All right, we'll do another.
801
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:56,040
Had a couple of bumps, like...
but didn't land on me head, did I?
802
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,200
TANNOY: We have a crash.
We have a crash.
803
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:15,160
It didn't go particularly well,
Chris. You do surprise me!
804
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,440
Here we go, look at this.
So, here we go.
805
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,920
Oh! See?
What the hell are you doing?
806
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:24,800
I'm sideways.
807
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:26,720
So, I came in... Yeah.
808
00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:29,120
And then, as I was going,
I went over.
809
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:32,640
And me helmet was scraping
on the wall, and then,
810
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:35,120
pushed meself back up and got
back on me...on me things.
811
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:38,840
So, you righted yourself using
your own head? Kind of, yeah.
812
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:45,280
Truth is, the high sides of the
training sleigh are designed to keep
813
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:48,960
the driver properly protected -
814
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,960
protection I'd now have
to leave behind,
815
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:55,880
lining up to give the Ski-5
its maiden voyage.
816
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,920
OK, so, remember - into the corners.
817
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:00,720
Yeah. Turn to parallel.
818
00:47:00,720 --> 00:47:02,760
Let it run nice and free.
Look for the exit.
819
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:05,600
Remember to look as long as you can.
Steer it down the straight.
820
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,040
OK. Lovely stuff.
ON RADIO: Andrew, can you hear me?
821
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,000
ON RADIO: Loud and clear, Chris.
822
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:14,160
Just be careful, all right,
because this looks terrifying.
823
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:15,960
That's great words from you,
Chris.
824
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:18,160
That's a real good gee-up
for me, that. Thank you.
825
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:20,720
Be mindful of the fact there's
a lot of trip hazards down here,
826
00:47:20,720 --> 00:47:22,960
so I'm taking one for
the team, as well.
827
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,360
Chris, I'll see you in about
a minute's time. Cheers, mate.
828
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:26,800
Thanks, Graham.
829
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:30,720
In his head, he looks like
he's created the ultimate homage
830
00:47:30,720 --> 00:47:33,680
to the C5 - but from here, he looks
like a really large toddler
831
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:35,480
being pushed in a pram.
832
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,320
TANNOY: Clear the track for a C5...
833
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:39,480
There you go, it's official now.
834
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:41,040
TANNOY: The track is clear.
835
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:44,800
There's no backing down now,
Fred. Here we go.
836
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,440
Here we go,
the Sinclair C5 is going.
837
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:50,280
He's through the beam -
and he's away.
838
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:51,800
And we're off!
839
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,240
Come on, Andrew! Coming round.
840
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:58,880
Down the first, it's a bit...
It's twitching at the back.
841
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:01,320
Oh, my - he had a massive
wobble there!
842
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,440
Coming round.
Look at where you're going.
843
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,640
And we're off.
Oh, it's a twitcher.
844
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:10,600
Now he's against the wall
twice there.
845
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:13,200
Going down the straight now.
Here we go, into 12.
846
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:16,640
Now he's picking up speed.
Now he's really travelling.
847
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:19,520
Here we go. And into 13.
848
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,200
Just saw him over there.
849
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,120
Oh, 15!
850
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:24,680
Coming round.
851
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:28,000
Steering up into 16,
and we're nearly finished!
852
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,760
And we're down.
853
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:36,480
Never in doubt, Andrew.
It's, erm...
854
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,640
It's a little bit twitchy.
How does she handle?
855
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:40,240
Through the corners, was all right.
856
00:48:40,240 --> 00:48:42,040
Straight, it's all over the place.
857
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,720
Is it lacking stability?
A little bit.
858
00:48:44,720 --> 00:48:46,880
How fast do you reckon you went?
859
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:51,560
I didn't feel I was flying
that time. I reckon...50, max.
860
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:52,960
OK, can we get a speed?
861
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:54,480
54.6.
862
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:57,400
54.6mph.
863
00:48:57,400 --> 00:48:59,160
54? Yeah. Point six.
864
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,400
That's all right, that is.
So, how can we get more speed?
865
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:04,400
That was only the junior. What?
866
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,880
Send me from the top.
That wasn't the top?
867
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:08,560
No, that was only t'junior one.
868
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:11,200
I've got four more corners to go
through. Get to the top,
869
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,360
I reckon 60mph - all day long.
870
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,560
You're confident, are you? Yeah.
871
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:21,040
Plus, Graham had
a few ideas of his own.
872
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,000
So, what we've done is we've
moved up to the top of the track,
873
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:27,440
so we've got an extra 200 metres of
track, and maybe 30 metres of drop.
874
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:28,840
That should do it, shouldn't it?
875
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:31,920
That'll give us a bit more speed,
but I don't think it'll be enough.
876
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:33,920
What? We need a bit more weight.
877
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:35,480
Fred's not heavy enough.
878
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:37,240
We need to put 50 kilos in.
879
00:49:37,240 --> 00:49:42,880
50 kilos? 50 kilos will get some
more speed out of it, so look sharp.
880
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:46,880
So, as well as being promoted
from the children's start line,
881
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:50,440
to increase the amount of energy,
and therefore speed, that Fred
882
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:52,800
would be carrying down the run,
883
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,120
we'd also now added
a healthy lump of ballast.
884
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:01,920
Sitting at the top,
it's a different course.
885
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:03,120
That first drop - wow.
886
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:08,400
I can just see probably
20 yards of track,
887
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,000
and then, a roof.
I don't even see the track.
888
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:15,840
Pushing him down now.
889
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:17,480
Oh, here we go. Look at this.
890
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:18,520
And he's away.
891
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,680
Bloomin' heck, it just disappears.
And we're off.
892
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:24,360
I'm on me own here.
893
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:25,840
And we're going.
894
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:27,360
We're building up speed already!
895
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:29,400
He looks exposed. His head's above.
896
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:31,600
It's like watching an old
Formula 1 car, you know,
897
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,480
when the canopy's so low and
their torso's above.
898
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:37,240
Here we go, it's...
it's all over the place, this.
899
00:50:37,240 --> 00:50:38,720
Whacked a wall there.
900
00:50:38,720 --> 00:50:40,520
Here we go, coming round.
901
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:42,560
Keep it straight.
902
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:45,080
Flashed through there.
God, that looked fast.
903
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:47,720
Up we go. Five. Into six.
904
00:50:47,720 --> 00:50:49,680
Neat and tidy, Andrew,
neat and tidy.
905
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:52,560
Watch for the exit.
Watch for the exit to seven.
906
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:54,240
Bit sideways.
907
00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:57,560
Oh, no, massive,
massive wobble there!
908
00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:00,880
Whoa! Whoa, it's a bumpy ride!
909
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:02,480
That's a code brown.
910
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:04,840
No, he's got it back together,
he's got it back.
911
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,000
This is the one now, 12 into 13.
912
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:08,280
Looking for the exit now.
913
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:11,640
And we're coming round 11.
914
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:13,120
He's really flying!
915
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:15,520
This is a big straight into 14.
916
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:18,080
Get it set on the wall down. 15!
917
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:19,320
This is where I come off.
918
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:23,640
Come on, Clive! You'd better be
enjoying this if you're watching!
919
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,240
Let's see what the speed is!
920
00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:27,520
Wow!
921
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:33,680
Whoo! Oh!
922
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:35,960
That looked like a wild ride.
923
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:40,600
That was a little bit different
to the first one! Jeez!
924
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,720
I was steering, but it was just...
925
00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:46,080
How many times did you hit a wall?
I hit a few walls!
926
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:50,360
But then, you've just got to try
and drive it, and get it back in.
927
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,920
OK. Do you want to know the speed?
928
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:54,880
Go on.
929
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:56,400
50... Oh!
930
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:58,520
..nine... No, you're winding me up.
931
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:00,040
..point two. Shut up.
932
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:05,680
59.2! Right, how do we get
another 0.8mph? Come on.
933
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:07,760
There is one way. How?
934
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:09,560
We go from the top... Yeah.
935
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:11,840
..we've got the weight in... Yeah.
936
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:15,560
..we stick some spikes
on your feet, and you push me.
937
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:16,960
Let's go full Olympic.
938
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:19,200
Get on the back, push me down.
Let's go for it.
939
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:22,040
Are you sure? Not really. CHRIS LAUGHS
940
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:23,840
But it's what Clive would've wanted.
941
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:34,280
Two...three...
942
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:40,640
Six... Are you going into
a trance-like state?
943
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,560
Just visualising the course.
944
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:46,320
Really? There's a couple of corners
I'm a bit messy out of.
945
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:48,400
If I'm going faster,
I really don't want to be.
946
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:50,640
Yeah, the video confirms that.
When you say a couple...
947
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:53,320
All right, Chris, that'll do.
You are spoiling me flow now.
948
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:56,640
Sorry. Do the counting thing again.
That was impressive.
949
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,480
Thank you. Cos you got to 15.
950
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:00,760
HE LAUGHS Right.
951
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:03,680
OK? Come on. Yeah, come on, Chris.
Let's get going.
952
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:05,920
You and me. We're in.
953
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,880
For Sir Clive. We're doing this
for Sir Clive. 60mph.
954
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:10,880
Push me straight.
Don't be messing about.
955
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:14,480
I'm not messing about.
Three, two, one.
956
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:16,800
Let's get out of here, Chris.
957
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:18,520
Oh, you're faster than I thought.
958
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,640
Give us a push, Chris.
Nicely done. Thank you, Chris!
959
00:53:23,240 --> 00:53:26,360
That's a bit different.
He's started me off a bit quicker.
960
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:28,040
HE LAUGHS
961
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:31,080
Gathering it as we go.
962
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,080
Turn one, to the left.
963
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:37,560
Please, a double pressure.
For Sir Clive!
964
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,320
Get off it. Yes, nice.
965
00:53:40,720 --> 00:53:42,680
Here we go. Into five.
966
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:44,360
Little right...left-hander.
967
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:46,120
Into six. It's a swoop right.
968
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:47,720
We're going round for Clive!
969
00:53:47,720 --> 00:53:49,120
Come on, Fred.
970
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:51,080
We go down the labyrinth.
971
00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:54,440
I'm going sideways, I'm banging
around, but it doesn't matter,
972
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,000
cos this is for Clive!
973
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:57,960
Come on, Freddie!
974
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:01,560
Come on, Andrew.
975
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:03,920
For Sinclairs everywhere!
976
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:07,560
Spectrum 48Ks! Sinclair C5s!
977
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:11,440
Get off. Coming round,
here he comes!
978
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:15,560
In the Olympics
for Great Britain in a C5!
979
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:19,360
Please be over 60mph!
980
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:22,400
I'm coming round to the end!
What have we got?
981
00:54:25,240 --> 00:54:26,480
What is it?
982
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:30,000
Brake, brake, brake,
brake, brake, brake!
983
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:31,720
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
984
00:54:31,720 --> 00:54:33,000
Whoa!
985
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:37,520
What's the speed?
986
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,040
Right, we need a speed.
987
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:41,120
Thank you. Where is he?
988
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:46,160
Oh, look at this, look at this.
Look at the state of this.
989
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:47,920
Taken me a bit longer, Andrew!
990
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:50,920
Really? Well, what was it? Right.
991
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:52,840
Oh, no. How was it?
992
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,080
I'm...I'm hoping, Chris,
993
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:58,080
cos half of me would love
to do it again...
994
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:01,040
..but half of me never wants to go
near these things again in me life.
995
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:04,000
OK. So, I want to be above 60.
For Sir Clive. What have we got?
996
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,720
Here we go. Track control.
997
00:55:05,720 --> 00:55:09,920
Can we have Andrew's maximum
speed on that run, please?
998
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,240
RADIO: 61... THEY YELL
999
00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:18,160
CHEERING
1000
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:20,280
61! Get in there, Sir Clive!
1001
00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:24,280
HE LAUGHS Hey, thank you. Come on!
1002
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:25,680
Come on! That's amazing.
1003
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:30,680
61. Get in! Thank you, Sir Clive.
1004
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:33,520
Well done. Brilliant.
61. Great effort.
1005
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:36,200
APPLAUSE 61. Done it.
1006
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:43,440
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1007
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,000
Oh, look at him,
he's like, tch-tch-tch!
1008
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,360
I've got to say, Fred,
respect to you.
1009
00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:55,920
Taking on the bobsleigh run in
this bit of plastic that was built
1010
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,120
in a Hoover factory in Wales.
1011
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:01,600
What can I say? I give me all
to this show. Take note, boys!
1012
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:03,360
Was it as bad as it looked?
1013
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:06,040
It give me a little bit of
a workout, I'm not going to lie!
1014
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:07,680
But it also got me thinking.
1015
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,040
What is it, Winter Olympics,
four years' time?
1016
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:11,680
Us three on the podium?
1017
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:13,760
God Save The Queen? Hey?
1018
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:16,040
Cool Runnings - not!
1019
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:20,880
So, Fred, you've bungee-jumped
a Rover Metro off a dam. Yeah.
1020
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:23,680
You've driven a Sinclair C5
down a bobsleigh.
1021
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:26,760
What's next? Nissan Sunny
into an active volcano?
1022
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,120
Jammed in the boot of an Austin
and fired into space.
1023
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:30,160
Oh, that'll be good.
1024
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:32,800
I was thinking a cup of tea
and a re-evaluate.
1025
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:35,320
Maybe Strictly. Oh!
1026
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,040
No, no, no, no. Oh! CHEERING
1027
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:40,400
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Yes! Hey!
1028
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:44,640
HE HUMS STRICTLY THEME Stop it. Stop it!
1029
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:46,680
On second thoughts,
get me a Nissan Sunny
1030
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:49,400
and point me in the direction of
the nearest volcano.
1031
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:52,400
No chance this lad's doing
the cha-cha-cha!
1032
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:54,240
That's all for tonight.
1033
00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:55,880
We'll be back next week,
1034
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:58,280
when Chris Harris drives
a car from Norfolk,
1035
00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:01,000
and the three of us hitch up
the big rigs and join
1036
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,320
the noble army of HGV drivers.
1037
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:05,640
See you, then. Thanks so much
for watching. Goodnight!
1038
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:08,000
CHEERING
75378
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