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Previously on
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...I don't want my child
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00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:05,092
to go through life with
something like just one dimple.
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00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,745
It's already gonna have
just one parent.
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00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:08,443
Yeah, okay, they'll only have
one parent, but it's a good one.
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00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:09,661
You know, the first time
I saw you
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00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,054
with Madison,
you know what I thought?
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This is what
he's good at!
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00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:14,449
I'll give you the
money for your firm.
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00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:16,625
I'll be a silent partner, and
you can control the shares.
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00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:19,149
Since you started working in
that new office, you're getting
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00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:21,543
peppery, and I don't
use that word lightly.
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00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:24,067
Let me give you the grand
tour... of the new place.Yes.
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This is where all
those people were
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murder...
Look at those sconces.
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Isn't this the house where
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00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:31,205
all those drug dealers
were murdered?
Ooh.
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I live in a famous
murder house!
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You think I don't
have an ax?!
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They are gonna charge you with
attempted second degree murder.
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What?! No! No.
Hey, I was saving your life.
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I'm sending you
to county jail for six weeks.
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I deserve this.You have a new hearing.
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00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:46,089
What? Why?Trent woke up from his coma,
and confessed to everything.
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You got a new
hearing tomorrow,
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all the charges
are going to be dismissed,
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and you will be out.
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REBECCA:
Look, I'm in love with him.
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We just don't have
the same priorities right now.
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I need to find my own answer,
and it lies...
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somewhere between jail...
and Hawaii.
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So amazing
those are your choices.
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♪ Meet Rebecca
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♪ She's the coolest girl
in the world, wait ♪
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♪ Wrong Rebecca
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♪ It's this one over here
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♪ She's spunky, she's sweet,
a generous friend ♪
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♪ Oh, but there
she looks kind of mean ♪
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Hmm.♪ Okay, she's snarky
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♪ Sarcastic and a...
What? ♪
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♪ You know, we're not really
seeing a common theme ♪
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♪ Meet Rebecca
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♪ She's too hard to summarize
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♪ So let's go back
to other Rebecca. ♪
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My name is Debra.
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Hmm.
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Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
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Mm.
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[doorbell rings]Hmm.
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[doorbell plays spooky laugh]
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Oh. Hi.
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Hey, do you like
my spooky new doorbell?
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What, too scary?
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Hon, have you been online today?
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That's a terrifying sentence.
No, I have not. Why?
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Where's your computer?
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REBECCA:
"Rooftop Killer Set Free
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00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:17,049
"Despite History Of Mental
Instability And Stalking:
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Why Is This Woman Walking
The Streets of West Covina?"
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Oh, my God!
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I'm so sorry, honey.
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You know what? It's okay.
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It's okay.
This is a lesson.
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I want to take responsibility
for my life,
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and everyone finding out
about my past is a part of that.
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Yeah, don't worry
about this.
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This is, this is Internet junk.
It'll-it'll blow over.
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Yeah, you're right. You know,
I'm not even gonna read it.
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No good can come
of that, right?
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00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:43,772
Also, it's one
person's opinion.
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00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:46,818
It's the opinion section. Wait.
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Oh, my God, look
at all the comments already.
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Oh, my God.
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Okay, this one was posted
six minutes ago,
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00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:00,223
and it already has
seven palm trees.
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00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,877
Palm trees are likes
on this site.
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"Bunch should be
locked up forever.
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00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:05,359
She's a menace and
a sexual terrorist."
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00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:06,838
Stop looking
at the comments.
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00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:08,884
I've been begging you
for three days.Okay, but
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00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:11,278
how can I stop looking at these,
okay? They're about me.
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00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:13,628
Listen to this one. "Bunch once
roped me and my whole building
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into a bogus
class action lawsuit." Yup.
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Well, I was trying
to help people.
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00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,503
Oh. And there's this one.
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"She caused my flight to make
an emergency landing in Nevada."
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00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:25,248
That was my suicide attempt,
Daisy underscore G.
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00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,468
Then there's this one. This is
a doozy. "She almost killed
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"my cat.
Signed, Anna the Browbarian.
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Mention this comment for 15% off
your next eyebrow grooming."
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00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,432
Oh, really classy, Anna.
Really classy.That's it.
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You're done.
Just shut your computer,
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and then go take a shower,
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because your ass is real ripe.How do people
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know all this stuff?
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"I heard she slept
with a married professor."
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00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,268
"She's an arsonist."
"She stalked Josh Chan."
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"She had sex with her boss."
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00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:49,098
"She had sex
with her ex-boyfriend's dad."
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00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:51,056
That one already has
20 palm trees.
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00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,449
Maybe they're all Marco.
He's an elite user.
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00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:53,972
He's probably...
Hey, no, no.
I'm doing it for you.
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What...?
There you go.
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00:03:56,584 --> 00:04:00,022
I want to say "fake news,"
but it's just news.
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00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:04,244
I've done all those things.
I've done such terrible things.
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00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:06,246
And now everyone knows.
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00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:08,248
Everyone knows that I'm garbage.
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00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:12,382
The Rooftop Killer is not
garbage, 'cause she's my friend.
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00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:13,775
And...
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yeah, she flushes her tampons,
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00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:18,345
but that's, like, the worst
thing I could say about her.
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00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:20,564
Thank you.
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00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,218
And I'm sorry about the tampons.
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Again, I didn't know you weren't
supposed to flush them.
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00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:26,178
I will wrap them in toilet paper
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00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:29,312
and leave them in the trash
to smell... like you want.
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00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:32,272
Well, you could also just
take out the trash?
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00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:33,795
Look, this has been
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00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:36,928
real fun, but we have tickets
to Hocus Pocus
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00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:39,322
for the cemetery screening
tonight, remember? So...Ugh. Right.
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00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,324
...we kind of have to get there
early to get a good spot.
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00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,891
Yeah, but that would mean
going outside
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00:04:42,934 --> 00:04:44,458
where everyone's judging me.Come on.
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You haven't left the house
in three days.
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00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:47,983
You're going to the movie.
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00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:50,290
I heard a rumor
that Kathy Najimy might come.
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00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,596
And Kathy Najimy is
your favorite witch, right?
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00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,337
Yeah, Kathy Najimy's
my favorite witch.
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00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,296
I love when she rides the vacuum
like a broom.
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00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,906
So get dressed and take a shower
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00:04:57,949 --> 00:05:00,648
and meet me and your favorite
witch, Kathy Najimy, there.
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00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:03,259
Just don't be a baby, okay?
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00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:05,696
Mm-mm.
I want to...
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00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,350
No. We're going
back down.
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00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,873
No. No. No, baby.
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00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:13,487
[babies cooing]Thank you for letting me join
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00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,532
the Wee Covinas,
everyone. I mean,
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00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,839
it's just so nice to be
around new parents.
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00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,884
Oh, I love this group,
and we are happy
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00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,017
to have you and
Little Rebecca with us.
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00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,366
It's actually "Hebecca."
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00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,585
Oh.
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00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,195
Hebby.
[laughs]
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00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:27,675
Uh-huh.
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00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:30,591
Oh, that is such a cute teether
you've got-- the carrot.
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00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:31,853
Oh, hey!
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00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,420
DARRYL: Oh! Your babies
have the same teether.
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00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:34,986
That's awkward.
Oh.
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00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:37,467
We all have it. Don't you?
I have, like, six of them.
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I bought one for every bag.
She loves them.
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00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:40,862
Oh, I guess I just
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00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:43,386
didn't know about the carrot
teether or the fox blankie.
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00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:46,084
See, with my first daughter,
my ex-- she was in charge
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00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:48,304
of all the binkies and blankies
and all that stuff,
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and this time,
I'm flying solo, so...
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00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,134
Okay, so, I'll need
one of those
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00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:53,744
and one of those,
and, of course,
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00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:55,790
one of...
I can't get one of those.
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00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:57,487
[chuckles]
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00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,402
Hebby's on formula.
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00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:00,534
I read somewhere that
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00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,492
formula's just as good, so...Yeah.
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00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:03,493
It's fine.
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00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:05,408
It's fine?
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00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:08,933
I mean...
I'm not aiming for fine.
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00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:11,109
This is my baby.
I want her to have
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00:06:11,153 --> 00:06:12,633
the best.
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00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:15,418
You guys are saying
that breast milk is what's best?
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00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:17,464
Well, it has been shown to help
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00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,466
with immunity and asthma
and digestion.
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00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,555
Also with preventing
ear infections and SIDS.
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00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:24,688
SIDS! SIDS is not fine, Jana.
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Oh, no,
what am I gonna do?
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I mean, I don't have boobs.
I mean, I... I do have
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00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,520
this one shirt in my closet
that clings in a weird way,
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00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:32,740
but I don't know. I mean,
I would give her breast milk
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00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:35,395
if I could, but I can't. I mean,
it's not like I can just go out
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and buy it.Sure, you can.
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00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,398
There is a market
for breast milk.
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00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:40,530
They call it "the white market."
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Really?
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00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:47,537
[elevator bell dings]
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00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:48,930
Can I have
the Holder account?
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00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:50,322
Here you go.Thank you so much.
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00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:52,542
What are you doing?
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00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,109
You haven't been
here in weeks.
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00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:55,937
I took a break.
I'm starting again tomorrow.
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00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,765
I just came
to pick up some files.
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00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,462
Periodic reminder:
I'm your boss, okay,
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00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:00,681
not the other way around.Oh.
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00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:02,291
Okay, boss. Thank you
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00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:04,119
for sauntering back in
after weeks of absence.
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00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:07,165
Do you have any idea how empty
it is in here right now?
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00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:08,428
Rebecca's been out.
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00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,081
I didn't ask about her, okay?
I don't care.
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00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,432
And now she has some
kind of agoraphobia.
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00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:13,998
Oh, really?
197
00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:17,524
I mean, oh, really? Rebecca has,
uh, wacky disorders?
198
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:18,525
Surprise, surprise.
199
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:20,440
Hey, not done.
200
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:21,658
Darryl is on
paternity leave.
201
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,486
I haven't seen Jim
in two weeks.
202
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,966
That is totally unexplained.
203
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:28,360
And according to George, you
ran off to go death camping?
204
00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:30,493
Oh, that's offensive.
Don't call it that.
205
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,103
It's called
concentration camping.
206
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:34,454
Okay? It's where you go off
to focus and concentrate.
207
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:36,238
It's actually very good...
208
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:37,892
What's my father
doing here?
209
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,502
And who is that guy?
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00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:40,634
He's the new guy.
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00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,549
[whispering]:
I don't trust him.
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00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:45,508
He's the what?Bert, that friend
of Rebecca's
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00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,945
who gave her the money
to buy out the firm.
214
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:49,338
Oh.
Our silent partner.
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00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:50,992
He doesn't look
very silent.
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00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:52,472
He's talking
to my father.
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00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:54,648
I didn't do that
until I was 11.
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00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,693
[clears throat]
219
00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,869
No. Hey, I just, I...
220
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:04,527
Well, look who finally
showed up to work...
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00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:08,052
dressed like an
Idaho tourist.
222
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:09,227
Hello, Nathaniel, Jr.
223
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,533
Dad, what are you doing here?
224
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,622
I can answer that.
A few days ago,
225
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,537
Mr. Plimpton stopped by
the office unannounced,
226
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:17,018
and the only attorney
here was Tim,
227
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,411
who was napping
on the conference room table,
228
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:22,893
so Mr. Plimpton called me
and asked if I'd lend a hand.
229
00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:24,721
Luckily, Bert
was available.
230
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:28,203
I'm sorry.
Are you even a real lawyer?
231
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,247
Indeed I am.
232
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,466
In addition
to my degrees
233
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,120
in hydro engineering
and ceramics,
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00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:33,556
I also have a B.A.,
235
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:38,213
two PhDs, an MD, a JD,
and I'm down with OPP.
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00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:40,389
I add that just to make it fun.
237
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:43,044
Hmm. Dad, I took a break,
238
00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:45,568
as men in power sometimes
need to do,
239
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,004
but I'm back now,
240
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:48,397
and I'm gonna get this place
into shape.
241
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,572
We don't need this guy.
242
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,226
I say you do.
243
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:53,620
And since Bunch, Whitefeather,
Plimpton, Plimpton & Plimpton
244
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:56,536
is still a subsidiary of
Plimpton International,
245
00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:59,626
I'm still the boss,
and what I say goes.
246
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:01,062
BERT:
Oh.
247
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:03,673
I am sensing some father-son
tension right now,
248
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:05,370
so I'd be happy to bow out.
249
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:06,720
Great. Bow out. Bye-bye.
250
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,199
Okay, bye-bye.
251
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:09,592
No, we need him.
252
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,638
We need someone to
run a law office,
253
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,509
and you're having some
sort of nervous breakdown.
254
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:17,339
So Bert is in charge,
and that's that.
255
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:26,566
Okay. Okay.
256
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,655
You can do this.
You can do this.
257
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:30,657
Yeah.[phone chimes]
258
00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:34,661
[gasps]
What?
259
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,532
No!
260
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,535
Hi, Rebecca.
It's Rebecca, right?
261
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,276
Hi, Rebecca. It's me, Kathy.[Rebecca shrieks]
262
00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:43,278
And just get your ass over here.
We're doing this reading
263
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:45,846
of Hocus Pocus,
and there's a trivia game,
264
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,935
and if you get it right,
you get a free witch hat.
265
00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:49,414
Oh!What?
266
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:51,068
Oh. Heather wants me to tell you
267
00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:53,505
to stop flushing your tampons.
268
00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:55,420
Heather, everybody flushes
their tampons.
269
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:56,639
Yeah.
270
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,163
Uh, come. Just come.
271
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,165
Oh!
272
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:04,821
Okay. Kathy's right.
273
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,910
It's go time, Bunch.
274
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:12,916
♪ When the moment's come
to start anew ♪
275
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,788
♪ Set yourself free
and finally do ♪
276
00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:17,747
♪ The things in life
that you are destined for ♪
277
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,619
♪ The first step
is the hardest part ♪
278
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:21,708
♪ But that doesn't mean
you shouldn't start ♪
279
00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:23,405
♪ Take the leap
and get right to it ♪
280
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,625
♪ Here's exactly
how you do it ♪
281
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:28,366
♪ You...
282
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,673
♪ Step out the door,
then back through the door ♪
283
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,283
♪ Sit on the floor
and stare at the floor ♪
284
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:34,677
♪ Rock yourself
until you feel okay ♪
285
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,679
♪ And carpe diem, carpe dontem
286
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,463
♪ Time to grab life
by the scrotum ♪
287
00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:41,466
♪ But, first, let's read
some facts about stingrays ♪
288
00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:44,687
♪ And then it's time
to seize the day ♪
289
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:49,779
♪ I wonder
if the fridge needs cleaning ♪
290
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:52,739
♪ I haven't cleaned the fridge
for a while ♪
291
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,915
♪ I'd hate to leave
with a dirty fridge ♪
292
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:56,743
♪ Did I get it all?
No, there's a smidge ♪
293
00:10:56,786 --> 00:11:00,094
♪ Maybe I should get
a new fridge online ♪
294
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:03,706
♪ Nope, never mind,
it's time to fly ♪
295
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,316
♪ Now
296
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,883
♪ I'll
297
00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,668
♪ Sit right here on my couch
298
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,495
♪ Research fridges,
I'm no slouch ♪
299
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:13,411
♪ Getting dark,
the time just got away ♪
300
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,413
♪ I could still go out,
it's not too late ♪
301
00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:16,980
♪ But, first,
I need to masturbate ♪
302
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:20,244
♪ To some porn,
preferably male and gay ♪
303
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:23,421
♪ And then it's time
to seize the day ♪
304
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:26,076
TAD: Hey, Brent, what are
you doing in this locker room?
305
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,904
BRENT:
Showering, again.
306
00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:29,514
What are you doing here, Tad?
307
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:32,343
TAD: I play football here,
with you, remember?
308
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:35,303
BRENT: Yeah, I remember.
Everyone get out!
309
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,739
I got to talk to Tad.
310
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,829
[laughs]
These guys.
311
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,789
[pants]
312
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:43,964
[groans]
313
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,574
Okay.
314
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,054
Okay, that's enough.
315
00:11:47,097 --> 00:11:49,404
It's time to go.
316
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,580
♪ You
317
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,408
♪ Just
318
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,540
♪ Take
319
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:56,846
♪ One step forward,
two steps back ♪
320
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,761
♪ No, two steps forward,
four steps back ♪
321
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:01,895
♪ Five more steps back
and now I'm back in bed ♪
322
00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:03,592
♪ Okay, now I'm ready to go
323
00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,246
♪ They're delivering
my new fridge though ♪
324
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:08,989
♪ Where's that fridge?
I can't wait around all day ♪
325
00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:11,992
♪ I have to go out
and make my big foray ♪
326
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:15,778
♪ Here I am standing
at the doorway ♪
327
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,649
♪ It's finally time
to seize the day ♪
328
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,739
♪ But, first, more porn.
329
00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:22,480
I don't know what to do.
I can't leave my house.
330
00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:23,873
I have a legal clinic
at the county jail.
331
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,657
I have to figure out
if I'm going back to work.
332
00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:27,703
And I'm-- Oh, I'm spiraling.
333
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,792
It's okay, Rebecca,
take a breath.
334
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,794
My 9:00 a.m. canceled.
335
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:32,795
You want to try coming in then
336
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,405
and we'll talk about it?Uh-huh.
337
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:35,537
Okay.
338
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,540
So... leave the house
and come to you?
339
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:39,541
Mm-hmm.
340
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:40,542
I think I can do that.
341
00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:41,848
I can try to do that. Yeah.
342
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,850
Remember, you have
the tools for this.
343
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:44,851
Right. Right.
344
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,374
[thumping nearby]
345
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,768
What was that?
346
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:49,812
Rebecca?See you tomorrow,
347
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:50,813
Dr. Akopian.
348
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,902
I'm so sorry.
349
00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:55,513
What was that?
350
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,428
Guys?
351
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:06,786
How'd that get there?
352
00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:13,357
HEATHER:
Anyways, you were saying,
353
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,142
your favorite part
of the movie was...?
354
00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:16,970
Oh. My favorite part...Mm-hmm.
355
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:20,147
...was when she sat on the
vacuum like a broom. [chuckles]
356
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,584
That's a really boring choice.
357
00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:24,455
That's everyone's favorite part.
358
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,196
[door opens]REBECCA: Guys,
359
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,850
okay, the weirdest thing
360
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:28,982
just happened.Weirder than
361
00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:30,810
Hector's hot takes
on Hocus Pocus?
362
00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:32,594
Oh, Hector,
I'm sorry
363
00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:34,422
I missed Hocus Pocus.I was
masturbating for six hours.
364
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,945
I heard.Okay. So,
365
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:37,947
this book about the Covinas
just fell off the bookshelf,
366
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:40,341
by itself,
and it opened to a chapter
367
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:41,908
about this house.
368
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:44,214
Yeah, it's really freaky.
Move over.
369
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,825
You're coming--
oh, you're coming in with us.Oh.
370
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:46,869
Yeah.
Okay. [grunts]I thought we...
371
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,175
talked about this.
372
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:50,003
Okay. Okay.
373
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,700
[shuddering exhale]
All right.
374
00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:54,703
"In 2015, a drug deal gone bad
led to a shoot-out
375
00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:56,792
"in a small ranch house
in West Covina.
376
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,925
"Five drug dealers were killed,
along with a young woman,
377
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:01,014
"Devon Lee,
a local college student
378
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,537
"with no prior criminal record
who had
379
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:04,539
the misfortune to be there
buying methamphetamines."
380
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:07,150
Wait, this is
a murder house?
381
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:09,674
Yes, I just said-- Just shh.Yeah. What...?
382
00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:11,459
"Devon was shot to death
in her stomach
383
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:12,895
"and her intestines exploded,
384
00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:14,941
spraying fecal matter
all over the wall."
385
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:17,900
Wait, this is a
poo murder house?
386
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:21,599
Wait...[eerie screeching]
387
00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:24,994
That-that sounded like...
388
00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:26,866
[shakily]:
"Devon."
389
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:28,563
Right?
390
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:30,957
Okay, a murder book
falls off the shelf
391
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,959
and the house creaks out a name?
392
00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:35,744
It's what I suspected.
It's why I came in here.
393
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,137
We have a ghost.
394
00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:39,182
Oh...Okay, that's it.
I'm out of here.
395
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:41,097
What? No.
Guys, calm down.
396
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:43,404
I'm sure there's
a logical explanation.
397
00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:44,405
HECTOR:
Don't care.
398
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:45,406
I'm out of here.
399
00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:46,929
Rebecca, are you with me?
400
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,104
Wh...?
401
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:51,151
Oh, actually, no,
um, he has a point.
402
00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:54,502
Because in case there is
a ghost, we should go
403
00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,765
to a diner and
get fries, right?
404
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:58,506
I mean, I-I--
I mean, I'm scared.
405
00:14:58,549 --> 00:14:59,942
I'm so, so scared.
406
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:03,859
So, let's get out of
the house, Rebecca.
407
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:04,860
Get out of the house?
408
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,427
Are you crazy?
409
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,646
I can't leave.
410
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:09,909
Devon needs me.
411
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,606
No.
412
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:21,050
So then the book opened
right to this page.
413
00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:22,399
[gasps]
414
00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:24,967
I mean, that's a message
from beyond, right?
415
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:25,968
That isweird.
416
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,056
Beyond weird.
417
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,623
HEATHER: Valencia,
don't encourage her.
418
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:29,972
She just doesn't want
to leave the house.
419
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,582
I'm telling you,
whatever it is,
420
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:33,019
there's a logical explanation.
421
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,977
And the only reason
you think there's a ghost
422
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,022
or whatever
is because
423
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,284
it's Halloween right now.
424
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:38,633
I mean, if it was Thanksgiving,
425
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:41,766
you would think
there was a turkey in here.
426
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:43,768
So, Valencia,
that's why I reached out to you.
427
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:46,075
Because, unlike her,
you get that there are, like...
428
00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:48,034
[inhales]
other dimensions, you know?
429
00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:49,687
Oh, yeah, honey.
You don't have to sell me.
430
00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:52,516
I don't know if you know this,
but ghosts are obsessed with me.
431
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:53,953
Really?In high school,
432
00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:55,998
I was haunted by John Candy,
like, constantly.
433
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:58,653
I had to look up John Candy.
Had no idea who he was.
434
00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:00,655
Yep, yep, you get ghosts.
435
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,091
Mm-hmm.So,
436
00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:04,441
I think that Devon is trying
to communicate with me.
437
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:06,791
Mm. What do we know about her?
438
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,533
I'm so glad you asked.
I did a bunch of research and...Just like I did
439
00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,535
on John Candy.
His last meal was lasagna.
440
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,624
One of the reasons
I eat low-carb.
441
00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:15,583
Yeah, so I found
Devon's old Facebook page.
442
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:18,586
Mm-hmm.And it turns out that
the meth buying here,
443
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,849
it was just this
one random, shameful
444
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,024
moment of weakness for her.
445
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,373
She was otherwise
a great student
446
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:25,027
and a great person.
I mean, she was studying
447
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,682
sports medicine,
she loved baby sloths,
448
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,466
she was totally against Prop 8.
449
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,991
But now she's just remembered
for this one bad decision
450
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,470
and the humiliating way
she died.
451
00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:34,689
You know,
452
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:36,343
the poopy thing.
[sighs]
453
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:38,040
So, how do we find out
what she wants?
454
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,433
How can we reach out to her?
455
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:42,349
Well, we summon her,
with a séance.
456
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:44,046
A séance.
457
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,830
Ooh, that sounds great.
458
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:47,789
Thank you.Ooh, we need, like,
459
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:50,052
the four corners of all
the elements, like The Craft.Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
460
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:52,098
Right? So we'll get Paula here
and Heather here.
461
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:54,883
And, together,
we'll summon the netherworld.
462
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,798
Wait, what's going on?
463
00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:59,061
I'm a woman of science,
not séance.
464
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:00,932
Maybe Heather's right.
Maybe there is some sort
465
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:02,760
of psychological reason
that I'm creating this ghost.
466
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:03,805
[phone chimes]
467
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,158
No, I definitely have a ghost.
468
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,159
Yeah.It's a ghost.
469
00:17:10,203 --> 00:17:11,813
You have a ghost.Yeah.
470
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,948
MADISON:
You ready?
471
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,298
Yeah, come on out.
472
00:17:18,341 --> 00:17:21,388
Oh, ho, ho! Wow!
473
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:23,564
Oh, look at that.
474
00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:26,001
Snailor Swift looks even better
than my sketches!
475
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,090
It's dope, Dad.
Thank you.Mm-hmm.
476
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:30,136
No one's gonna
have this costume.
477
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:33,182
Last year, a girl
came as Katy Bear-y.
478
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,184
Her costume was
Janktown, USA.
479
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:36,794
[chuckles][knocking]
480
00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:38,840
Oh. That must be Mom.
481
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:41,712
Hey.
482
00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:43,192
Hi.
483
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:44,541
So cute!And you're dressed
484
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,152
as a sexy...
485
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:47,501
Yep. I put it all on at once.
486
00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:48,763
All the sexy things.
487
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:50,156
Guh-ross.Hey.
488
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:52,114
Let's go. We're meeting
your friends at my house.
489
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,507
I'll have her back
later tonight.
490
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:54,943
Just got to see
if I can round up
491
00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:56,336
some divorced dads
in this outfit.
492
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:58,164
Brittany's dad is available.
493
00:17:58,207 --> 00:17:59,426
I mean, they're not split up,
494
00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:01,602
but, um,
the writing's on the wall.
495
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:03,038
Good intel.
496
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,040
You sure you don't
want to come, Darryl?
497
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,086
I mean... [chuckles]
what are you doing tonight?
498
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,653
Nothing special.
Just a little online shopping.
499
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:11,916
Nothing weird.
500
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,225
[elevator bell dings]
501
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:17,618
Good morning, sir.
502
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:20,273
[sighs]
503
00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,318
[indistinct chatter]
504
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:25,016
Ba-bow!Oh, come on.
505
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,757
How you gonna get any
work done in that thing?
506
00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:28,150
What? You kidding me?
507
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,196
It's all peachy.
508
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,158
I got it.
I got it!
509
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:38,943
Ooh!It's all right, it's all right.
510
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,207
I'll just stand.
511
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,209
I got it.
512
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,646
So, I filed the motion on behalf
of the Sanford Multiplexes.
513
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,082
Um, excuse me.
514
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,215
Sanford is my client.
I can handle that.
515
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:51,956
Oh, you missed two court dates,
so I stepped in to help out.
516
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,959
Stealing my client
is not being helpful.
517
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:56,135
Can you believe this guy?
518
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:58,224
Yes, I do believe
Mr. Washington.
519
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:00,574
He cannot
tell a lie.
520
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:02,228
That's, like,
his whole deal.
521
00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:04,186
You guys are listening to him.
Why?
522
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,188
Uh, your dad said
he's in charge.
523
00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:07,885
But not really.
524
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,452
[Transylvanian accent]:
If he asked me to suck the blood
525
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:11,193
of an innocent maiden,
I would do it.
526
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:12,673
[cackling]
527
00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:15,023
[normal voice]:
Too much.
528
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:17,156
Your dad said he's our boss now.
529
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:20,246
As an officer of the Army
and a gentleman farmer,
530
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:24,250
I promise to lead you
with honor and wooden teeth.
531
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,425
This is a joke.
532
00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:26,861
You're a joke, Bert.
533
00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:27,905
Tim, come on.
534
00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:30,081
[grunts]
535
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,176
MAYA:
Um,
536
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:40,875
guys, does anyone know
what I am?
537
00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:43,182
Katy Bear-y?
[chuckles]
538
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:48,578
"Roar"?
"Roar"?
539
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:51,277
[typing]
540
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,366
Holy Goddess of Milk Jugs.
541
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,237
Oh, look at this breast milk.
542
00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:58,284
I mean, it's in Palmdale,
but it looks gorgeous.
543
00:19:58,327 --> 00:19:59,807
Never frozen, vegan,
544
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,504
non-smoking, alcohol-free.
545
00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:03,245
Look.
546
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:04,855
Oh, so creamy.
547
00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:06,335
Guh-ross.
548
00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:08,685
Uh, okay. I think I
fixed the baby monitor.
549
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,165
For future reference,
550
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,732
you just need to reset it
and sync it again.
551
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:14,735
Oh, I got to get this primo
stuff before it gets snapped up.
552
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:17,085
Oh, what do I do about Hebby?
553
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,652
Don't look at me.
Babies are
554
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:19,914
not really my area.
555
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:22,177
You do remember
why we broke up, right?
556
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,614
Would you mind staying with her?
557
00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,268
Uh...Oh, she sleeps
like a rock.
558
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:27,661
She will not wake up.
559
00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,315
Why are you freaking out
about breast milk, Darryl?
560
00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:31,317
I was a formula baby, and I am
the healthiest person you know.
561
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,579
Never had a cold.
562
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:34,189
Yeah, I know.
But you're kind of a robot.
563
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,321
You're not the first person
to say that,
564
00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:37,279
and I take it as a compliment.
565
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:39,325
Hebby doesn't have a mom.
566
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,022
Moms are a big deal.
567
00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:43,198
They know
the right carrot teether to get,
568
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,330
what's the right blanket.
569
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,201
I went to baby group,
570
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,421
and I brought
a Christmas blanket.
571
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:50,553
I have to do this.
572
00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:51,772
Can you stay?
573
00:20:51,815 --> 00:20:53,339
Cancel your Halloween plans?
574
00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:55,558
Oh, you don't have to worry
about that. I hate Halloween.
575
00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:58,082
It's just an excuse
to sell toxic plastic costumes
576
00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:59,736
and death sugar candy.
577
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,174
Go on. Go ahead.
578
00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:04,915
Oh, thank you.
579
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:07,440
Oh, and thank you
for being the kind of person
580
00:21:07,483 --> 00:21:09,355
that I would hate
to hang out with on Halloween.
581
00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:10,573
Ah.
582
00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:15,970
BERT:
You know,
583
00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:17,276
I am finding
that I do enjoy
584
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:19,103
the camaraderie
of an office.
585
00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:21,018
It's like the camaraderie
of my BPD group
586
00:21:21,062 --> 00:21:22,411
except a lot less annoying.
587
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:24,587
MAYA: I really like
how you share.Look at him.
588
00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:26,372
Bears remind me of wolves.NATHANIEL:
Being all nice to everyone.
589
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:28,461
Making them feel comfortable
in the workplace.
590
00:21:28,504 --> 00:21:30,332
I hate him.
591
00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:32,682
Yeah, I'm just gonna
stand right here.
592
00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:35,032
I got to get rid of this guy.
Whatever it takes.
593
00:21:35,076 --> 00:21:36,686
Well, how you gonna do that?
594
00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:39,515
Everybody's got dirt.
595
00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:41,561
I just got to dig it up.
596
00:21:50,178 --> 00:21:53,007
The candle draws out
the spirit from hiding,
597
00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:55,923
the clove makes it safe
for the spirit to emerge,
598
00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:58,969
and the crystals...
they're just pretty.
599
00:21:59,013 --> 00:22:00,841
Rebecca, gong it, girl.
600
00:22:00,884 --> 00:22:03,017
Oh. Okay.
601
00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:07,064
So, I mean, you know,
not to be a downer,
602
00:22:07,108 --> 00:22:09,153
but let's be real.
603
00:22:09,197 --> 00:22:10,720
This ghost business is crap,
604
00:22:10,764 --> 00:22:12,983
and you're just ashamed
to leave your house,
605
00:22:13,027 --> 00:22:15,072
and you made up a ghost
in your mind as an excuse.
606
00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:16,160
HEATHER:
Yeah.
607
00:22:16,204 --> 00:22:17,684
That sounds right.REBECCA:
Ladies,
608
00:22:17,727 --> 00:22:19,163
that is what I thought as well,
609
00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:20,904
but then I looked at the
evidence, and it's overwhelming.
610
00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:22,950
Eh.
611
00:22:22,993 --> 00:22:25,213
Uh, the book. The creaking.
612
00:22:26,910 --> 00:22:28,259
The book.
613
00:22:28,303 --> 00:22:29,913
The creaking.
614
00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:31,175
VALENCIA:
And if you two would please
615
00:22:31,219 --> 00:22:32,655
tamp down your skepticism.
616
00:22:32,699 --> 00:22:34,657
Devon can feel
your negative vibes.Yeah.
617
00:22:34,701 --> 00:22:37,181
[coughing][sneezes]
618
00:22:45,712 --> 00:22:47,148
Hey.
619
00:22:47,191 --> 00:22:48,715
Did you get the info?
620
00:22:48,758 --> 00:22:51,718
Yeah. I got the scoop,
the skinny,
621
00:22:51,761 --> 00:22:53,502
the lowdown on the shakedown.
622
00:22:53,546 --> 00:22:55,461
You're just a dude in a costume.
623
00:22:55,504 --> 00:22:56,766
[chuckles]:
Yeah.
624
00:22:56,810 --> 00:22:59,856
Yep. I'm the real detective.
625
00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:01,510
There's everything
you need to know
626
00:23:01,554 --> 00:23:03,120
about Bert Buttenweiser.
627
00:23:03,164 --> 00:23:04,644
Buttenweiser? [scoffs]
628
00:23:04,687 --> 00:23:05,949
I knew he was a weirdo.
629
00:23:05,993 --> 00:23:07,342
Yeah.
630
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,388
So, who are you dressed as?
Anderson Cooper?
631
00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:10,954
No.
632
00:23:10,998 --> 00:23:13,217
That guy from Mad Men
who looks like Anderson Cooper.
633
00:23:13,261 --> 00:23:15,785
God, I despise Halloween.
634
00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:18,614
You're no fun. [cries mockingly]
635
00:23:21,008 --> 00:23:23,053
CHILDREN:
Trick or treat!
636
00:23:23,097 --> 00:23:25,621
WHITE JOSH: Okay, guys, if you
must eat candy, please try
637
00:23:25,665 --> 00:23:27,754
and limit yourselves to one
piece of dark chocolate a day.
638
00:23:27,797 --> 00:23:28,885
Okay? 'Cause it lowers
your cholesterol,
639
00:23:28,929 --> 00:23:30,583
and it prevents
certain kinds of cancer.
640
00:23:30,626 --> 00:23:32,498
Okay? Did you guys hear
what I said? Did you...?Oh! Excuse me.
641
00:23:32,541 --> 00:23:33,977
Hey, trick or treat, dude.Oh!
642
00:23:34,021 --> 00:23:36,458
Wow, Josh. Proud of you.
643
00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:38,242
You didn't dress up this year.
644
00:23:38,286 --> 00:23:39,983
You're a grown man.What?
645
00:23:40,027 --> 00:23:42,116
I'm not a grown man.
I'm a weatherman. Look.
646
00:23:42,159 --> 00:23:45,206
Oh."Rainy skies with a
chance of precipitation."
647
00:23:45,249 --> 00:23:47,251
Rain means precipitation.
648
00:23:47,295 --> 00:23:49,906
Thanks, vocab police.
Hey, where's Darryl?
649
00:23:49,950 --> 00:23:51,560
Uh, I got a baby
present for him.
650
00:23:51,604 --> 00:23:53,257
He had to run out,
so I'm watching Hebby,
651
00:23:53,301 --> 00:23:55,129
who is and will stay asleep.
652
00:23:55,172 --> 00:23:56,870
Cool. Uh, can we wake her up?
653
00:23:56,913 --> 00:23:58,262
No.
654
00:23:58,306 --> 00:24:00,264
Please? I saw this cute
little koala costume,
655
00:24:00,308 --> 00:24:02,353
and I was like,
"Who can I buy this for?"
656
00:24:02,397 --> 00:24:04,834
And then I was like,
"My ex-fiancée's baby
657
00:24:04,878 --> 00:24:06,793
that she had with her boss
might need a costume."
658
00:24:06,836 --> 00:24:08,098
Hmm.So I bought it.
659
00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:10,231
I know you hate Halloween,
but I love it.
660
00:24:10,274 --> 00:24:12,363
Come on! Wake her up,
wake her up, wake her up!
661
00:24:12,407 --> 00:24:13,800
No.[Hebecca crying]
662
00:24:13,843 --> 00:24:15,932
Great. You woke her up.Yes!
663
00:24:15,976 --> 00:24:20,241
There's a storm moving in
with a 100% chance of cuteness.
664
00:24:23,244 --> 00:24:25,202
See the headset?
It's an earpiece.
665
00:24:25,246 --> 00:24:26,769
[high-pitched]:
Hi, baby.
666
00:24:26,813 --> 00:24:29,598
Oh, we're having
"koala-ty" time, aren't we?
667
00:24:29,642 --> 00:24:31,818
Who's a "wittle" baby?
668
00:24:31,861 --> 00:24:33,820
As much as I hate
your baby voice--
669
00:24:33,863 --> 00:24:35,517
and I hateit--
670
00:24:35,561 --> 00:24:37,780
she does look pretty cute
in this little costume.
671
00:24:37,824 --> 00:24:40,566
Hi. Hi.
672
00:24:40,609 --> 00:24:42,219
It sucks
Darryl's missing this.
673
00:24:42,263 --> 00:24:43,917
Yeah, where is he?
674
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,527
Uh, that's a good question.Oh.
675
00:24:45,571 --> 00:24:48,051
I'll give him a call.Where's he going?
676
00:24:48,095 --> 00:24:49,618
[line ringing]
677
00:24:49,662 --> 00:24:51,402
DARRYL:
Hey.
678
00:24:51,446 --> 00:24:53,579
I'm so sorry I'm late.Yeah, where are you?
679
00:24:53,622 --> 00:24:55,450
Currently? Marina del Rey.
680
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:56,495
What? You were going
to Palmdale.
681
00:24:56,538 --> 00:24:57,496
That's in the opposite
direction.
682
00:24:57,539 --> 00:24:58,497
Yeah. I went to Palmdale.
683
00:24:58,540 --> 00:24:59,498
I met this woman in an alley.
684
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:00,673
She seemed shady.
685
00:25:00,716 --> 00:25:02,196
I was sure
she was selling me cow milk.
686
00:25:02,239 --> 00:25:06,461
And I tasted it,
and it was vanilla almond milk.
687
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:08,158
Ah.So I got upset.
688
00:25:08,202 --> 00:25:10,030
I may have been crying. And so
then her boyfriend came out,
689
00:25:10,073 --> 00:25:11,988
and he had a gun,
so I panicked, and I shoved him.
690
00:25:12,032 --> 00:25:13,642
But it turns out it was
just his Halloween costume.
691
00:25:13,686 --> 00:25:15,644
He was dressed as the boyfriend
from Claws.
692
00:25:15,688 --> 00:25:18,429
Anyway, I got stuck there
for an hour talking to the cops,
693
00:25:18,473 --> 00:25:20,780
and now I am trying
to get to Playa del Rey,
694
00:25:20,823 --> 00:25:22,869
but there's a parade
in Marina del Rey.
695
00:25:22,912 --> 00:25:24,784
And I'm sitting here
looking at a float
696
00:25:24,827 --> 00:25:27,003
full of dancing gladiators
on surfboards.
697
00:25:27,047 --> 00:25:28,570
I mean, what even is that?
698
00:25:28,614 --> 00:25:30,920
I can't get out of this traffic,
and I'm hyperventilating.
699
00:25:30,964 --> 00:25:32,922
Wait a minute,
what's going on?
700
00:25:32,966 --> 00:25:35,664
What's happening, because...
What's going on with my baby?
701
00:25:35,708 --> 00:25:37,536
Nothing. Nothing. She's fine.
Everything's fine.Hmm?
702
00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:38,972
No, you wouldn't have called if
there wasn't something going on.
703
00:25:39,015 --> 00:25:40,800
Did she wake up?No, no, no. No, no, no.
704
00:25:40,843 --> 00:25:42,279
DARRYL:
What am I missing? Oh!She's asleep.
705
00:25:42,323 --> 00:25:44,499
She's not here...
being cute or anything.
706
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:46,109
You just get back here
as soon as you can, okay?
707
00:25:46,153 --> 00:25:48,024
All right. Bye-bye.
708
00:25:48,068 --> 00:25:49,983
Yeah, parents are nuts.
709
00:25:52,072 --> 00:25:55,554
In light and love,
we call upon the four corners
710
00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:57,599
to open the channel
of communication
711
00:25:57,643 --> 00:25:59,035
between our two worlds
712
00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:02,909
and help us make contact
with any earthbound spirits.
713
00:26:02,952 --> 00:26:05,825
Let's all hold hands.
714
00:26:05,868 --> 00:26:07,609
Do it.[groans]
715
00:26:09,263 --> 00:26:12,005
Devon, we're here.
716
00:26:12,048 --> 00:26:15,008
Send us a message
however you can.
717
00:26:15,051 --> 00:26:16,226
Text is probably easiest for me.
718
00:26:16,270 --> 00:26:18,098
I also love a good Insta story.
719
00:26:18,141 --> 00:26:19,882
[Paula and Heather laugh]
720
00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:23,320
[exhales]
721
00:26:26,672 --> 00:26:28,935
Guys...
722
00:26:28,978 --> 00:26:30,501
[all gasp]Look.
723
00:26:31,764 --> 00:26:34,680
Okay, that...
This has to be an earthquake.
724
00:26:34,723 --> 00:26:37,813
That's not an earthquake.
725
00:26:39,859 --> 00:26:41,861
[all scream]
726
00:26:48,955 --> 00:26:50,783
REBECCA:
Oh, my God.
727
00:26:50,826 --> 00:26:52,480
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
728
00:26:52,523 --> 00:26:55,657
The occult is real.
729
00:26:55,701 --> 00:26:58,573
Okay, I'm slightly freaked out.
730
00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,270
Um, I-I thought this
was gonna be boring,
731
00:27:00,314 --> 00:27:01,837
but you know what?
732
00:27:01,881 --> 00:27:03,491
[laughs]
733
00:27:03,534 --> 00:27:07,147
Best Halloween ever!
734
00:27:07,190 --> 00:27:08,931
Oh, Valencia.
735
00:27:08,975 --> 00:27:12,369
Come on,
these are great illusions.
736
00:27:12,413 --> 00:27:15,938
You're like David Copperfield
without the assault allegations.
737
00:27:15,982 --> 00:27:17,244
Um, wait, you guys?
738
00:27:17,287 --> 00:27:19,681
I didn't do anything. Nothing.
739
00:27:19,725 --> 00:27:21,944
That was not me.
Oh, my God.
740
00:27:21,988 --> 00:27:23,598
I am so scared.
741
00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,121
I actually didn't think
this junk would work,
742
00:27:25,165 --> 00:27:26,949
but it did, and now I opened
the doorway to the occult.
743
00:27:26,993 --> 00:27:28,908
Lord Jesus,
744
00:27:28,951 --> 00:27:31,127
please forgive me. I just
wanted to be like Gwyneth.
745
00:27:31,171 --> 00:27:32,912
Okay, um, I don't know
what's happening,
746
00:27:32,955 --> 00:27:35,784
but I don't like it,
so, um, I am leaving.
747
00:27:35,828 --> 00:27:38,047
No, no. Wait, wait.
Valencia, you swear
748
00:27:38,091 --> 00:27:40,397
that you did not
rig this table
749
00:27:40,441 --> 00:27:42,269
or do anything
with the lights?
750
00:27:42,312 --> 00:27:44,271
Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
751
00:27:44,314 --> 00:27:45,620
Blessed art thou
amongst women.
752
00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:47,883
Yeah, I might leave.Yeah, let's go.
753
00:27:47,927 --> 00:27:50,581
No, no, don't leave.
Do you realize what's happening?
754
00:27:50,625 --> 00:27:53,019
This is the moment. Devon is
trying to communicate with us.
755
00:27:53,062 --> 00:27:54,629
Everyone. Everyone.[Valencia groans]
756
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:57,501
We're listening.
757
00:27:57,545 --> 00:27:59,895
What do you want, Devon?
Send us a message.
758
00:27:59,939 --> 00:28:01,941
Everyone, shh, shh, shh.
759
00:28:01,984 --> 00:28:03,420
WHITE JOSH:
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
760
00:28:03,464 --> 00:28:04,726
Shh, shh, shh, shh.DARRYL:
Joshua?
761
00:28:04,770 --> 00:28:07,511
Look! Look how much milk I got.She's asleep.
762
00:28:07,555 --> 00:28:10,253
And she was not dressed
like a koala earlier.
763
00:28:10,297 --> 00:28:12,212
Eureka! Liquid gold.
764
00:28:12,255 --> 00:28:14,997
Now I got to get these in the
freezer or they'll go bad. Wait.
765
00:28:16,042 --> 00:28:18,174
Why is it so dark in here?
766
00:28:18,218 --> 00:28:20,524
Oh, why do you have
that lantern on?
767
00:28:20,568 --> 00:28:22,701
Darryl, what
are you doing?
768
00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:23,832
The power's out in
the freezer, too.
769
00:28:23,876 --> 00:28:25,747
But it's insulated,
and it'll keep it cold
770
00:28:25,791 --> 00:28:26,835
for a couple hours
771
00:28:26,879 --> 00:28:29,403
until I can get out
and buy a generator.
772
00:28:29,446 --> 00:28:31,057
Why is there
so much damn food
773
00:28:31,100 --> 00:28:32,972
in this freezer?
And it's filthy.
774
00:28:33,015 --> 00:28:35,061
What animal lives like this?
775
00:28:35,104 --> 00:28:36,845
Is this a good time to talk
about your eating habits?
776
00:28:36,889 --> 00:28:39,413
Are you familiar with the
phrase, "shop the perimeter"?
777
00:28:39,456 --> 00:28:41,850
Don't yell at me. Help me.
778
00:28:41,894 --> 00:28:44,200
Don't make me touch
the milk bags.
779
00:28:49,292 --> 00:28:51,425
Wow, you're working late.
780
00:28:51,468 --> 00:28:53,775
And during a blackout.
781
00:28:53,819 --> 00:28:55,951
What is this
big business opportunity
782
00:28:55,995 --> 00:28:56,996
that you called me about?
783
00:28:57,039 --> 00:28:58,562
Well, I lied about that,
784
00:28:58,606 --> 00:29:01,914
but it is an opportunity for you
to see the truth about Bert.
785
00:29:01,957 --> 00:29:03,829
Oh, Nathaniel.No, I'm not letting
786
00:29:03,872 --> 00:29:06,527
an outsider take over a branch
of our family's firm.
787
00:29:06,570 --> 00:29:07,963
I hired an investigator,
788
00:29:08,007 --> 00:29:11,619
and Bert is in no way qualified
to be running this place
789
00:29:11,662 --> 00:29:13,142
or even working here.
790
00:29:13,186 --> 00:29:14,753
Look. It's all in the file.
791
00:29:14,796 --> 00:29:16,232
[sighs]
792
00:29:17,277 --> 00:29:20,628
Oh, yeah. Yep. I know all that.
793
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,806
You... you know
about the mental illness?
794
00:29:24,850 --> 00:29:27,374
The fact that he's
never practiced law?
795
00:29:27,417 --> 00:29:29,245
I mean,
he's a conspiracy theorist.
796
00:29:29,289 --> 00:29:31,857
I mean, the-the man
once lived in a sewer.
797
00:29:31,900 --> 00:29:32,988
You mean Long Beach?No.
798
00:29:33,032 --> 00:29:35,686
I mean an actual sewer.
799
00:29:35,730 --> 00:29:38,602
I don't care about him.
I care about you.
800
00:29:38,646 --> 00:29:40,387
You're a screwup who's
in love with a lunatic
801
00:29:40,430 --> 00:29:42,128
who pushed a man off the roof.
802
00:29:43,259 --> 00:29:44,608
I read the Daily Covina.
803
00:29:45,653 --> 00:29:47,176
I comment sometimes, too.
804
00:29:47,220 --> 00:29:49,875
I don't know who
you are anymore.
805
00:29:49,918 --> 00:29:51,659
That's why I called
that wacko Bert in,
806
00:29:51,702 --> 00:29:53,226
to see if it would wake you up.
807
00:29:53,269 --> 00:29:54,880
I-I'm... Wait.And it did.
808
00:29:54,923 --> 00:29:58,100
I'm sorry, you...
809
00:29:58,144 --> 00:30:00,146
you care about me?
810
00:30:00,189 --> 00:30:03,236
Man, I really did a number
on you, didn't I?
811
00:30:03,279 --> 00:30:05,238
Son, what I care about
812
00:30:05,281 --> 00:30:08,197
is the firm.
That's what matters.
813
00:30:10,330 --> 00:30:12,375
Devon. Devon.
814
00:30:12,419 --> 00:30:14,595
Okay, come back.
Please come back.
815
00:30:14,638 --> 00:30:16,597
Give us another sign.
Tell us what you need.
816
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:18,425
Why have you contacted us?
817
00:30:18,468 --> 00:30:20,035
This is a safe space.
818
00:30:21,297 --> 00:30:23,256
Are you here listening?
819
00:30:23,299 --> 00:30:25,258
Are you here?
820
00:30:25,301 --> 00:30:26,607
Ah!
821
00:30:26,650 --> 00:30:29,044
[laughs]
822
00:30:29,088 --> 00:30:30,872
[computer chimes]Oh, my God.
823
00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:32,134
What?
824
00:30:32,178 --> 00:30:33,919
She wants us to look
at her Facebook page.
825
00:30:33,962 --> 00:30:35,094
[gasps]
826
00:30:35,137 --> 00:30:36,486
Facebook page.
827
00:30:36,530 --> 00:30:38,488
Yeah, but weren't you
already open to that page
828
00:30:38,532 --> 00:30:41,709
when the power went out?She was. She definitely was.
829
00:30:42,753 --> 00:30:45,017
Oh, my God, you guys.
830
00:30:45,060 --> 00:30:46,932
Look at this. Today's...
831
00:30:48,542 --> 00:30:49,760
...the anniversary
of her death.
832
00:30:49,804 --> 00:30:51,762
Oh, please forgive me, Jesus.
833
00:30:51,806 --> 00:30:53,895
If you want me to become
a nun, I totally will.
834
00:30:53,939 --> 00:30:55,070
I can rock a black maxi.
835
00:30:55,114 --> 00:30:57,072
No, no, don't...
Just stop it, Valencia.
836
00:30:57,116 --> 00:30:58,987
This isn't about you.
This is about her.
837
00:30:59,031 --> 00:31:00,293
She wants us to honor her...
838
00:31:00,336 --> 00:31:02,512
somehow.
839
00:31:02,556 --> 00:31:05,385
I don't know, bring her
flowers or something.
840
00:31:05,428 --> 00:31:07,126
Yeah, she wants us
to bring her flowers.
841
00:31:07,169 --> 00:31:08,736
Okay. Oh, and also,
842
00:31:08,779 --> 00:31:10,694
she wants us to bring her
some period panties.
843
00:31:10,738 --> 00:31:12,174
No, that's a Facebook ad.
844
00:31:12,218 --> 00:31:13,654
Oh.Okay, let's go buy
845
00:31:13,697 --> 00:31:15,917
some flowers and free
a ghost from purgatory.
846
00:31:15,961 --> 00:31:17,658
Oh. Let's go.
847
00:31:18,702 --> 00:31:21,531
I have the car keys.
And the car.
848
00:31:27,233 --> 00:31:28,843
Okay.
849
00:31:31,193 --> 00:31:33,935
Well, thanks for not making
me touch the milk bags.
850
00:31:33,979 --> 00:31:35,806
Oh.
Hey.
851
00:31:35,850 --> 00:31:37,025
Oh, thank goodness.
852
00:31:37,069 --> 00:31:38,461
The power came on.
853
00:31:38,505 --> 00:31:39,810
All this milk will be safe now.
854
00:31:39,854 --> 00:31:41,073
That is a ton of milk.
855
00:31:41,116 --> 00:31:43,118
You're good for
what, six months?
856
00:31:43,162 --> 00:31:44,511
No, that's a week.
857
00:31:44,554 --> 00:31:46,295
Then I got to get out there
and do it again.
858
00:31:46,339 --> 00:31:47,122
You're kidding me.
859
00:31:47,166 --> 00:31:49,559
No.
860
00:31:49,603 --> 00:31:51,300
No, I'm not.
861
00:31:51,344 --> 00:31:52,780
[door opens]STACEY: Hey, we're back.
862
00:31:54,869 --> 00:31:57,350
Uh, what happened in here?
863
00:31:57,393 --> 00:31:58,394
Uh, this happened.
864
00:31:58,438 --> 00:32:00,266
He overstocked the freezer
865
00:32:00,309 --> 00:32:01,310
with black market
breast milk,
866
00:32:01,354 --> 00:32:02,355
and then he missed
his daughter's
867
00:32:02,398 --> 00:32:03,834
first Halloween dressed
as a koala.
868
00:32:03,878 --> 00:32:06,098
What? You said, specifically,
that she was not a koala.
869
00:32:06,141 --> 00:32:08,056
Oh, great. No, that's great.
I missed that?
870
00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:09,536
Did you take a picture?
871
00:32:09,579 --> 00:32:11,799
Yeah, I took about four.
Josh took 78, mostly selfies,
872
00:32:11,842 --> 00:32:13,322
but don't worry,
she's in some of them.
873
00:32:13,366 --> 00:32:16,282
I can't believe I missed that.
874
00:32:16,325 --> 00:32:17,936
I mean... [sighs]
875
00:32:17,979 --> 00:32:20,112
I just wanted to make sure she
had every advantage, you know?
876
00:32:20,155 --> 00:32:21,940
That's all I was doing it for.
877
00:32:21,983 --> 00:32:24,203
I mean, I don't have boobs,
you did.
878
00:32:24,246 --> 00:32:25,813
You breastfed.
879
00:32:25,856 --> 00:32:28,990
Madison's so smart
and she has no allergies, and...
880
00:32:29,034 --> 00:32:30,949
I don't know, maybe that's why.
881
00:32:30,992 --> 00:32:32,254
Maybe.
882
00:32:32,298 --> 00:32:34,474
Or maybe it's because
we're good parents.
883
00:32:34,517 --> 00:32:36,998
Also, I don't know what
I told you at the time,
884
00:32:37,042 --> 00:32:39,305
but I only breastfed
for, like, ten days.
885
00:32:39,348 --> 00:32:41,307
My nipples were like raw steak.
886
00:32:41,350 --> 00:32:42,569
Guh-ross.
887
00:32:42,612 --> 00:32:44,179
Thank you, Madison.
888
00:32:44,223 --> 00:32:45,833
Darryl, your daughter
with the weird name
889
00:32:45,876 --> 00:32:48,575
does not need breast milk
or a mom.
890
00:32:48,618 --> 00:32:50,185
She needs a good parent.
891
00:32:50,229 --> 00:32:51,926
And she has one.
892
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:54,363
So use all that
milk if you want,
893
00:32:54,407 --> 00:32:56,061
then just go back to formula.
894
00:32:56,104 --> 00:32:57,497
I'm telling you, it's fine.
895
00:32:57,540 --> 00:33:00,108
Thank you.
896
00:33:00,152 --> 00:33:02,371
Dad, you know you're
a great father.
897
00:33:02,415 --> 00:33:04,895
I got so many compliments
on my costume.
898
00:33:04,939 --> 00:33:07,289
Really? People liked it?
899
00:33:07,333 --> 00:33:09,988
You snailed it, dude;
you always do.
900
00:33:12,251 --> 00:33:14,253
♪
901
00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:19,214
HEATHER:
Ugh, these Hocus Pocusfans
are filthy.
902
00:33:20,476 --> 00:33:22,261
[gasps] Oh, there it is.
Lee. Lee.
Oh.
903
00:33:22,304 --> 00:33:24,480
REBECCA:
Look.
904
00:33:28,267 --> 00:33:32,619
[exhales]
Can you hold this for a sec?
905
00:33:32,662 --> 00:33:34,012
Hi, Devon.
906
00:33:35,404 --> 00:33:38,929
I don't know you
and you don't know me,
907
00:33:38,973 --> 00:33:41,497
but I know your story.
908
00:33:41,541 --> 00:33:43,282
And I know your shame.
909
00:33:44,674 --> 00:33:46,415
I mean, the poopy on
the walls thing is tough.
910
00:33:46,459 --> 00:33:48,113
I'm not saying
that it's not tough,
911
00:33:48,156 --> 00:33:50,898
but...
912
00:33:50,941 --> 00:33:54,336
you deserve flowers today.
913
00:33:54,380 --> 00:33:55,990
So here you go.
914
00:33:58,340 --> 00:34:02,083
Devon, I know what it's like
to feel ashamed.
915
00:34:02,127 --> 00:34:06,392
And I know that it's easier
sometimes to just dwell
916
00:34:06,435 --> 00:34:09,656
in that shame
rather than move on.
917
00:34:11,745 --> 00:34:16,271
God, there is something weirdly
satisfying about just...
918
00:34:16,315 --> 00:34:18,795
staying in...
919
00:34:18,839 --> 00:34:21,407
the purgatory of your past.
920
00:34:22,930 --> 00:34:24,410
But you have to move on.
921
00:34:24,453 --> 00:34:26,586
You can't change what happened,
922
00:34:26,629 --> 00:34:29,850
but you canchange
what will happen.
923
00:34:31,852 --> 00:34:34,594
So move on, Devon.
924
00:34:34,637 --> 00:34:36,335
Move forward.
925
00:34:41,818 --> 00:34:43,385
That was beautiful,
Rebecca.
926
00:34:43,429 --> 00:34:45,518
Thank you.
[sniffles]
927
00:34:48,651 --> 00:34:52,786
REBECCA:
Who cares if she sprayed poopie
all over the walls?
928
00:34:52,829 --> 00:34:55,571
She made mistakes.
We all do.
929
00:34:55,615 --> 00:34:57,573
Aw.[all screaming]
930
00:34:57,617 --> 00:35:01,099
Oh, okay. I'm sorry
if I scared you ladies.
931
00:35:01,142 --> 00:35:02,578
Hello, Paula.
932
00:35:02,622 --> 00:35:04,580
Oh, God, this guy.Okay, look.
933
00:35:04,624 --> 00:35:07,235
I know you guys all think
I'm creepy, but rest assured,
934
00:35:07,279 --> 00:35:08,671
I've been watching you
the whole time...
935
00:35:10,064 --> 00:35:12,458
...standing in an open grave,
and I think I heard
936
00:35:12,501 --> 00:35:15,548
someone talking about shame.
937
00:35:16,810 --> 00:35:18,594
Yeah, that was me.
938
00:35:18,638 --> 00:35:22,120
Uh, I've been dealing
with shame in my life lately.
939
00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:25,601
SECURITY GUARD:
Okay, well, crippling shame
affects all of us, Rebecca.
940
00:35:25,645 --> 00:35:27,429
And, you know, not just because
you have a history of arson,
941
00:35:27,473 --> 00:35:29,039
or you slept with your
ex-boyfriend's dad.
942
00:35:29,083 --> 00:35:30,998
Um...
943
00:35:31,041 --> 00:35:33,261
I-I also edit the Daily Covina.
944
00:35:33,305 --> 00:35:37,700
You know, a lot of people
are scared of cemeteries.
945
00:35:37,744 --> 00:35:40,007
You know, th-th-they
come here spooked
946
00:35:40,050 --> 00:35:41,313
with thoughts of the undead,
947
00:35:41,356 --> 00:35:45,186
but what haunts people
the most...
948
00:35:45,230 --> 00:35:47,275
is their own past.
949
00:35:47,319 --> 00:35:49,799
[organ chord plays][laughs maniacally]
950
00:35:51,192 --> 00:35:53,151
♪
951
00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:58,243
♪ Some people are scared
of goblins and ghosts ♪
952
00:35:58,286 --> 00:36:01,550
♪ They shriek at a raven
perched on a post ♪
953
00:36:01,594 --> 00:36:03,161
♪ "Oh, no!" they cry
954
00:36:03,204 --> 00:36:04,553
♪ "It's a spooky black cat"
955
00:36:04,597 --> 00:36:06,468
♪ But there are so many things
956
00:36:06,512 --> 00:36:08,731
♪ Far more frightening
than that ♪
957
00:36:08,775 --> 00:36:11,430
♪ Like when I asked a woman
I hadn't seen in a while ♪
958
00:36:11,473 --> 00:36:13,562
♪ How long she'd been pregnant
959
00:36:13,606 --> 00:36:15,564
♪ And there went her smile
960
00:36:15,608 --> 00:36:16,783
♪ Turns out,
she'd just gained weight ♪
961
00:36:16,826 --> 00:36:18,306
♪ "I'm so sorry," I said
962
00:36:18,350 --> 00:36:20,569
♪ And when that memory
fills me ♪
963
00:36:20,613 --> 00:36:21,614
♪ With horror and dread
964
00:36:21,657 --> 00:36:23,050
♪ I do the cringe
965
00:36:23,093 --> 00:36:24,921
♪ Ugh [groans]
966
00:36:24,965 --> 00:36:26,488
♪ I do the cringe
967
00:36:26,532 --> 00:36:28,403
♪ Ooh ♪ Ugh
968
00:36:28,447 --> 00:36:30,231
♪ More than a twinge
969
00:36:30,275 --> 00:36:32,190
♪ The thought leaves me aghast
970
00:36:32,233 --> 00:36:34,148
♪ Because nothing is as scary
971
00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:35,628
♪ As what lurks in your past
972
00:36:35,671 --> 00:36:38,979
[laughing maniacally]
973
00:36:39,022 --> 00:36:41,024
♪
974
00:36:42,548 --> 00:36:45,638
♪ Banshees and ghouls
can give a good fright ♪
975
00:36:45,681 --> 00:36:48,771
♪ But that's not what
keeps me up at night ♪
976
00:36:48,815 --> 00:36:52,079
♪ I think about that time
in bed with my ex ♪
977
00:36:52,122 --> 00:36:55,256
♪ When I chuckled at his penis
during sex ♪
978
00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:57,171
♪ She does the cringe
979
00:36:57,215 --> 00:36:58,781
♪ It was a full-blown laugh
980
00:36:58,825 --> 00:37:00,348
♪ She does the cringe
981
00:37:00,392 --> 00:37:02,089
♪ It looked like
a cute little puppet ♪
982
00:37:02,132 --> 00:37:03,830
♪ She does the cringe
983
00:37:03,873 --> 00:37:05,701
♪ He went soft and cried
984
00:37:05,745 --> 00:37:07,355
♪ And that was the night
985
00:37:07,399 --> 00:37:09,052
♪ Their relationship died
986
00:37:09,096 --> 00:37:11,968
[all howling spookily]
987
00:37:12,012 --> 00:37:13,622
♪
988
00:37:15,798 --> 00:37:19,454
♪ I told a date I lost my wallet
so she would pay ♪
989
00:37:19,498 --> 00:37:22,892
♪ I hooked up with the bassist
of Sugar Ray ♪
990
00:37:22,936 --> 00:37:26,287
♪ I got an angel tattoo
on my upper thigh ♪
991
00:37:26,331 --> 00:37:29,116
♪ I gave my mother's eulogy
completely high ♪
992
00:37:29,159 --> 00:37:30,683
♪ See? Everyone has sins
993
00:37:30,726 --> 00:37:33,294
♪ They want to wash away
994
00:37:33,338 --> 00:37:35,949
♪ I came up with the town motto,
"Live. Work. Play." ♪
995
00:37:35,992 --> 00:37:37,298
Oh...
996
00:37:37,342 --> 00:37:39,518
♪ We do the cringe
997
00:37:39,561 --> 00:37:40,910
♪ It was not my best work
998
00:37:40,954 --> 00:37:42,651
♪ We do the cringe
999
00:37:42,695 --> 00:37:44,218
♪ In fairness, I was also high
1000
00:37:44,262 --> 00:37:45,567
♪ We do the cringe
1001
00:37:45,611 --> 00:37:48,091
♪ Regret can be a blast
1002
00:37:48,135 --> 00:37:51,530
♪ When nothing is as funky
as what lurks in your past ♪
1003
00:37:51,573 --> 00:37:52,748
♪ Cringe dance
1004
00:37:52,792 --> 00:37:55,142
♪
1005
00:37:55,185 --> 00:37:58,885
[all grunting rhythmically]
1006
00:37:58,928 --> 00:38:00,887
♪
1007
00:38:00,930 --> 00:38:02,802
♪ Ah, ah, stupid, stupid
1008
00:38:02,845 --> 00:38:05,195
♪ Stupid, stupid, ah
1009
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:06,849
♪ We all have skeletons
1010
00:38:06,893 --> 00:38:08,634
♪ Real and metaphorically
1011
00:38:08,677 --> 00:38:11,898
♪ Wait, aren't you the guy
who murdered me? ♪
1012
00:38:11,941 --> 00:38:14,640
What?♪ Nothing, the cringe
1013
00:38:14,683 --> 00:38:17,860
♪ Cringe.
1014
00:38:22,735 --> 00:38:25,303
Hello, Nathaniel, Jr.
You wanted to see me?
1015
00:38:25,346 --> 00:38:28,784
I did. I spoke to my father,
and he put meback in charge,
1016
00:38:28,828 --> 00:38:31,439
so youcan go back to being
the silent partner.
1017
00:38:31,483 --> 00:38:32,832
Oh, yes, I know.
1018
00:38:32,875 --> 00:38:35,313
I got an e-mail from him
this morning to that effect.
1019
00:38:35,356 --> 00:38:37,097
So what are you still
doing here?
1020
00:38:37,140 --> 00:38:38,620
Oh, I like it here.
I like the people.
1021
00:38:38,664 --> 00:38:40,318
I like the work.
1022
00:38:40,361 --> 00:38:43,408
And it gives me something to do
besides write Internet comments.
1023
00:38:43,451 --> 00:38:44,844
But my father relieved you
of your duties.
1024
00:38:44,887 --> 00:38:47,499
But the thing is,
he can't do that.
1025
00:38:47,542 --> 00:38:49,501
I control the majority
of this branch.
1026
00:38:49,544 --> 00:38:52,721
I was only being silent because
I was being a nice guy.
1027
00:38:52,765 --> 00:38:54,462
But I want this job,
1028
00:38:54,506 --> 00:38:56,421
and you need me here,
I can feel it.
1029
00:38:56,464 --> 00:38:59,685
In fact, I'm enjoying
it so much around here,
1030
00:38:59,728 --> 00:39:01,687
I've just made a few changes.
1031
00:39:01,730 --> 00:39:03,950
Instead of adding
my name to the branch,
1032
00:39:03,993 --> 00:39:08,346
I've decided to rename it,
something short and catchy.
1033
00:39:08,389 --> 00:39:10,043
What?
1034
00:39:10,086 --> 00:39:12,828
Behold the legal collective
1035
00:39:12,872 --> 00:39:14,613
known as "MountainTop."
1036
00:39:14,656 --> 00:39:16,832
Oh, my God,
it's so pretty.
1037
00:39:16,876 --> 00:39:19,748
I love lightning bolts.
1038
00:39:19,792 --> 00:39:21,359
Oh, my God.
1039
00:39:21,402 --> 00:39:22,751
Don't worry, son.
1040
00:39:22,795 --> 00:39:24,405
It still has our names
right there underneath.
1041
00:39:24,449 --> 00:39:26,059
Don't call me son.
1042
00:39:26,102 --> 00:39:29,062
Look, I know that me being here
is not your first choice,
1043
00:39:29,105 --> 00:39:31,543
but you're stuck with me.
1044
00:39:31,586 --> 00:39:34,502
Whatever. Don't get
too comfortable, Buttenweiser.
1045
00:39:34,546 --> 00:39:37,810
Oh, I won't, not
with my fibromyalgia.
1046
00:39:40,769 --> 00:39:43,555
[sighs]
Okay.
1047
00:39:44,643 --> 00:39:46,906
[groans]You can do this.
1048
00:39:46,949 --> 00:39:48,777
Mm-hmm.
[whimpers]
1049
00:39:48,821 --> 00:39:51,345
There's gonna be a lot of people
in there judging me.
1050
00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:52,912
It's gonna be fine.
1051
00:39:52,955 --> 00:39:55,567
I promise.
Mm-hmm.
1052
00:39:55,610 --> 00:39:57,264
[exhales] Okay.
1053
00:39:57,307 --> 00:39:58,831
Okay?
Mm-hmm.
Let's go.
1054
00:39:58,874 --> 00:40:00,789
Okay.
1055
00:40:00,833 --> 00:40:03,226
Excuse me?
Excuse me, miss.
1056
00:40:03,270 --> 00:40:05,054
I dressed as you
last night.
1057
00:40:05,098 --> 00:40:06,447
The Rooftop Killer.
1058
00:40:06,491 --> 00:40:09,058
Can I have a selfie
with you?
1059
00:40:09,102 --> 00:40:10,451
Uh, sure, sure.
1060
00:40:10,495 --> 00:40:12,714
Can you put your hands
around my neck
1061
00:40:12,758 --> 00:40:14,847
like you're choking me?
1062
00:40:14,890 --> 00:40:16,805
I mean, I didn't choke--
I didn't choke anyone.
1063
00:40:16,849 --> 00:40:18,503
That's okay.
Okay.
1064
00:40:18,546 --> 00:40:21,462
[sighs]: Okay. Ah.[camera clicks]
1065
00:40:21,506 --> 00:40:23,856
[chuckles]
She was so nice.
1066
00:40:23,899 --> 00:40:25,510
She was so nice.
1067
00:40:25,553 --> 00:40:28,904
Okay, maybe they care a little
bit, but, um, it'll wear off.
1068
00:40:28,948 --> 00:40:31,472
Yeah, at least you
didn't poopy on a wall.
1069
00:40:31,516 --> 00:40:33,213
That's a good point.
Thank you, V.
1070
00:40:33,256 --> 00:40:36,042
You guys, the mystery is solved.
1071
00:40:36,085 --> 00:40:37,260
I just talked to our landlord.
1072
00:40:37,304 --> 00:40:38,871
Turns out there's
an issue with the pipes...
1073
00:40:38,914 --> 00:40:41,482
[gasps]
...so some major
off-gassing of steam.
1074
00:40:41,526 --> 00:40:43,092
It knocked the books
off the shelf,
1075
00:40:43,136 --> 00:40:44,659
then created
that awful groaning sound,
1076
00:40:44,703 --> 00:40:46,879
shot steam up
through the floor
1077
00:40:46,922 --> 00:40:48,620
which is what floated
the coffee table.
1078
00:40:48,663 --> 00:40:50,665
Wh-- pipes...?
1079
00:40:50,709 --> 00:40:52,101
Yes, it turns out
they were clogged
1080
00:40:52,145 --> 00:40:54,887
with a giant wad of tampons.
1081
00:40:54,930 --> 00:40:56,802
That makes sense.
1082
00:40:56,845 --> 00:40:57,846
Mm-hmm.
Sorry.
1083
00:40:57,890 --> 00:40:59,021
Yep.
1084
00:40:59,065 --> 00:41:00,719
So there was really no ghost?
1085
00:41:00,762 --> 00:41:01,850
Of course there wasn't.
1086
00:41:01,894 --> 00:41:03,548
Or was there?
1087
00:41:03,591 --> 00:41:05,898
No, there wasn't.
1088
00:41:05,941 --> 00:41:07,987
There's a rational explanation.
1089
00:41:08,030 --> 00:41:09,945
I just told you what it was.
1090
00:41:09,989 --> 00:41:12,948
Or... did you?
1091
00:41:12,992 --> 00:41:14,994
Yes.
1092
00:41:15,037 --> 00:41:16,996
Yes, she did.
Yeah.
1093
00:41:17,039 --> 00:41:19,215
Okay. Guess we'll never know.
1094
00:41:19,259 --> 00:41:21,609
No, we do know now.
1095
00:41:21,653 --> 00:41:24,264
Or... do we?
1096
00:41:24,307 --> 00:41:26,135
I would say we definitely do.
1097
00:41:26,179 --> 00:41:27,572
But, definitely?
1098
00:41:27,615 --> 00:41:29,443
Yes.
1099
00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:30,662
Mm, do we, though?
1100
00:41:30,705 --> 00:41:32,664
No, we do.
1101
00:41:32,707 --> 00:41:34,187
But do we not?
1102
00:41:34,230 --> 00:41:37,277
Oh, no. We-- oh. What?
1103
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,845
We def-- We do.Can we be sure though?
75283
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