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1
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Is it my imagination, or do you eat more with us now than when you lived here?
2
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Oh, well, I couldn’t stay away.
3
00:00:06,350 --> 00:00:07,650
Nobody makes ghoulash like aunt Zelda.
4
00:00:07,650 --> 00:00:09,610
The trick is to marinate the ghoul.
5
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:13,530
Oh, who would be so rude as to send us mail at dinner time?
6
00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:15,740
It’s from cousin Marigold.
7
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She wants to send her daughter, Amanda, to live with us for a year.
8
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The same Amanda who set our house on fire?
9
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And locked me in a jar?
10
00:00:24,620 --> 00:00:25,580
I’m so out of here.
11
00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:26,670
Wait, Sabrina.
12
00:00:26,670 --> 00:00:29,500
Oh, poor Amanda’s worse than ever.
13
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:32,500
Can a person be worse that pure evil?
14
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,960
It’s just so sad.
15
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,470
Her mother just got married for the nineteenth time and Amanda’s not taking it well.
16
00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:39,800
That makes two of us.
17
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,930
I’m still trying to bag husband number one.
18
00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:47,560
Marigold thinks that if Amanda goes to school in the Mortal Realm and lives here with us, we might be able to straighten her out.
19
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,480
Zelda, this is a huge commitment.
20
00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:52,270
We’re going to have to think long and hard before we agree to anything.
21
00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:53,780
No, she can’t come!
22
00:00:53,780 --> 00:00:55,570
When’s Amanda supposed to be here?
23
00:00:55,570 --> 00:00:58,660
Please let that be an earthquake!
24
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,120
Hi, everybody.
25
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,500
Thank you so, so much for taking me in.
26
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,250
Ewgh, what died in here?
27
00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:09,170
That would be our dinner.
28
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:10,500
I’ll order in.
29
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:13,000
I guess, since you’re at college, I’ll be taking over your room.
30
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,550
I think it’s gonna' be really cool once I’ve changed everything about it.
31
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Well, that just killed my appetite.
32
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,600
Oh, I think it killed everybody’s.
33
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Well, not everybody’s.
34
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,560
All right, well, that was fun.
35
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:08,520
See you in a year.
36
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:13,060
Honey, we’re sorry Amanda’s taken over your room, but we can’t turn our backs on family.
37
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:14,980
Oh, I wouldn’t turn my back on Amanda ever.
38
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We’ll make sure she doesn’t disturb any of your things.
39
00:02:23,570 --> 00:02:24,950
Thanks for taking care of that.
40
00:02:24,950 --> 00:02:27,160
Salem’s right, the girl's pure evil.
41
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,080
Oh!
42
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:29,620
Can I borrow this purse?
43
00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:30,660
You can keep it all.
44
00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:32,460
I’ll be sure to write.
45
00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:37,000
Zelda, what are we gonna do?
46
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,720
We can’t send that little monster to a mortal high school.
47
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,970
Well, maybe we could home school her.
48
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Over my dead body.
49
00:02:46,260 --> 00:02:50,140
Oh, look, a video from Marigold.
50
00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:51,230
How thoughtful.
51
00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:53,940
It’s probably twenty years overdue and she wants us to return it.
52
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,690
Oh, look, there’s a note.
53
00:02:55,690 --> 00:02:58,730
I just met someone on my honeymoon who gave me this.
54
00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:01,490
Try it if you’re desperate and frustrated.
55
00:03:01,490 --> 00:03:04,370
That’s when I usually rent a video.
56
00:03:04,370 --> 00:03:11,000
Typical suburban teenagers living in a typical suburban home.
57
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,370
Not!
58
00:03:12,370 --> 00:03:19,050
Welcome to Witchright Hall, where rebellious and magically challenged young witches learn to function in the mortal realm.
59
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Hot digidy!
60
00:03:20,590 --> 00:03:21,510
Our troubles are over.
61
00:03:21,510 --> 00:03:23,800
The children live and go to school under the same roof.
62
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:28,060
Learning to control their magical impulses and use their powers appropriately.
63
00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:28,890
I’ve seen enough.
64
00:03:28,890 --> 00:03:30,640
I’ll get the checkbook, you throw Amanda in the car.
65
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:31,480
Wait, wait, wait.
66
00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:36,520
To the neighbourhood we’re simply a loving couple who adopt delinquent youths.
67
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Oh, my God.
68
00:03:37,730 --> 00:03:40,320
That's James Hexton.
69
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:41,900
James Hexton?
70
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,570
Who’s James Hexton?
71
00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:48,240
The man whose heart I shattered into a million pieces back in fourteen sixty-nine.
72
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,700
Oh, he said he's never forgive me.
73
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:52,910
Now I remember.
74
00:03:52,910 --> 00:03:57,750
He waded through a moat of alligators just to see you and you slammed the door in his face.
75
00:03:58,880 --> 00:03:59,960
I see his leg grew back.
76
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,550
This is a disaster.
77
00:04:01,550 --> 00:04:05,550
If you take Amanda to the school for an interview, she’ll never get in.
78
00:04:05,550 --> 00:04:06,470
He’s right.
79
00:04:06,470 --> 00:04:09,050
Someone else will have to take her.
80
00:04:09,050 --> 00:04:10,850
I can’t get anybody into school!
81
00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:14,600
Daddy had to donate a fleet of Volkswagen’s to get me into clown college.
82
00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:17,770
No, no, no, no, no.
83
00:04:17,770 --> 00:04:19,360
On second thought.
84
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,110
no!
85
00:04:20,110 --> 00:04:21,940
I’ll buy you a Porsche?
86
00:04:21,940 --> 00:04:23,070
Keep talking.
87
00:04:23,070 --> 00:04:23,940
Hilda!
88
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:28,240
You can’t bribe Sabrina into doing the right thing for her family.
89
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,240
Stay out of this.
90
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,750
Give me ten more seconds and I’ll have her palms so greased she’ll need a drip-pan.
91
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:36,170
Listen to me Sabrina, Witchright Hall is Amanda’s last chance.
92
00:04:36,170 --> 00:04:42,460
If she doesn’t get accepted there, she’ll be banished to the mortal realm forever causing destruction wherever she goes.
93
00:04:42,460 --> 00:04:43,880
Unbelievable.
94
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:47,680
I am this close to getting a nine-eleven turbo and you play the apocalypse card.
95
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:48,970
I am good.
96
00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:51,510
Come on, Amanda, turn that frown upside down.
97
00:04:51,510 --> 00:04:52,260
You’re gonna' love it here.
98
00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:53,930
What do you want?
99
00:04:53,930 --> 00:04:55,060
And why do I care?
100
00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,690
Argh, we have an appointment with the headmaster.
101
00:04:57,690 --> 00:04:59,100
Amanda Wiccan and her cousin Sabrina.
102
00:04:59,100 --> 00:04:59,900
We’re a little early because.
103
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,860
Because everybody hates me and they can’t wait to get rid of me.
104
00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:03,940
Wow, you sound like a real peach.
105
00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:04,820
Doors open.
106
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,280
Oh look at this sweet looking dog.
107
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:10,990
Here, boy.
108
00:05:10,990 --> 00:05:13,910
First off, I’m old enough to be your grandfather.
109
00:05:13,910 --> 00:05:15,830
Secondly, the name is Phil.
110
00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:17,210
Oh, a dog named Phil.
111
00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:18,750
Any relation to a boy named Sue?
112
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:22,540
Hands off, toots, I’m not one of your touchy feely types.
113
00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:25,300
I happen to be the head of the Phys Ed department.
114
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:27,090
Now both of you, drop and give me twenty!
115
00:05:27,090 --> 00:05:27,800
No way.
116
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:28,550
I don’t go to school here.
117
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Yet.
118
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:32,050
OK, let’s get a move on you lard-bottoms!
119
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Coming, coach Phil!
120
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:34,850
Pathetic bunch.
121
00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:37,430
I know yorkies who run faster than you!
122
00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:41,860
Well, we know one thing, the Phys Ed department is solid.
123
00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:44,110
Yeah, I wonder what kind of slobbering animal teaches history.
124
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:46,030
That would be me.
125
00:05:46,030 --> 00:05:47,900
James Hexton, headmaster.
126
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:50,950
In a few weeks I should have the slobbering under control.
127
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,160
She didn’t mean that.
128
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,120
She’s Amanda and I’m her cousin Sabrina.
129
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,330
Delighted.
130
00:05:55,330 --> 00:05:57,540
Oh, argh, would you excuse me a minute?
131
00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:59,920
A mob of angry women is about to show up at the door.
132
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,830
What do you.
133
00:06:01,830 --> 00:06:04,920
Make that mob of angry .
134
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,960
I’m so hit and miss today.
135
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:11,050
Hexton, that hormone crazed son of yours is ruining our daughters lives!
136
00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:14,760
Oh, lord , it’s only just four o’clock.
137
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,350
All right, back in a jiff.
138
00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:20,350
Well, I for one, am loving this place.
139
00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:23,230
Great, then you stay here and I’ll move in with your roommates at college.
140
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:26,570
Nicely done.
141
00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:30,860
Oh, I’ve often practised that technique myself but I keep coming up against the same obstacle.
142
00:06:30,860 --> 00:06:32,240
Irritable spell syndrome?
143
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,410
I’m mortal.
144
00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:35,490
The only magic I can do involves mascara and.
145
00:06:35,490 --> 00:06:37,040
Lady Clairol.
146
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,160
Robin Davis, school director.
147
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,080
I’m guessing that feisty little frozen thing is Amanda?
148
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,460
Argh-huh, and I’m her room temperature cousin Sabrina.
149
00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:45,920
We have an appointment with professor Hexton.
150
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:49,300
Oh, you are in for a treat, the man is a true innovator.
151
00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:52,840
This morning he took his world history class back in time to meet Ghandi.
152
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:53,590
Really?
153
00:06:53,590 --> 00:06:58,220
They learned about passive resistance and then treated the Mahatma to an everything bagel.
154
00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:02,770
Oh, well, right now he’s on the porch practising passive resistance on some irate neighbours.
155
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,100
I bet that’s going well.
156
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:05,190
I’ll be right back.
157
00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:08,570
This is a decent place to live!
158
00:07:08,570 --> 00:07:11,400
Afternoon gentlemen, what seems to be the problem today?
159
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,910
Our daughters are so busy mooning over your boy, Sean.
160
00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:15,780
They can’t eat, sleep or do their homework.
161
00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:18,370
You gotta' love me.
162
00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:20,120
I don’t think they gotta'.
163
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:21,500
It’s just plain weird.
164
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,670
It’s like he’s got all the girls in the neighbourhood hypnotised.
165
00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:24,750
Hypnotised?
166
00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:31,840
Let me assure you, my husband and I will do everything in our power to squelch whatever magic Sean wields over your daughters.
167
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:41,430
You know, this town thinks you and your husband are doing a fine thing taking in these screwed-up kids, but if you can’t control them, be advised, we’ve got a really testy Kuwana’s Club.
168
00:07:41,430 --> 00:07:43,940
Oh, we’ll let that be a warning to us.
169
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,400
You put some kind of romantic spell on those girls, didn’t you?
170
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,700
It seamed to work nicely with the dork spell I put on their boyfriends.
171
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:56,530
Sean, you can’t play around with peoples feelings.
172
00:07:56,530 --> 00:08:00,540
Oh, unlike you two who can play around with the most sacred institution in the mortal realm.
173
00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:02,000
Indian Bingo?
174
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,870
You pretend you’re married!
175
00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:05,620
For your protection.
176
00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:07,380
To keep away suspicious neighbours.
177
00:08:07,380 --> 00:08:09,750
Working like a charm so far.
178
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,920
Don’t you mouth off to us.
179
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,260
I’m sending you up to your room and taking away your magic.
180
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:15,550
Now give me the finger.
181
00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:16,930
With pleasure.
182
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,930
You know what I mean.
183
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:25,230
Very impressive.
184
00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:26,560
Oh, it’s been a busy week.
185
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,150
I’ve got fingers coming out of my.
186
00:08:28,150 --> 00:08:29,150
don’t ask.
187
00:08:29,150 --> 00:08:34,450
OK, Sabrina, what do you say we defrost your cousin and get this interview rolling?
188
00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:37,820
Oh my God, I did it!
189
00:08:39,530 --> 00:08:40,410
No, it was me.
190
00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:42,540
It’s always you.
191
00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:44,080
Nice meeting you.
192
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:45,660
I’ll catch up with you later.
193
00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:47,710
If you’d care to come this way.
194
00:08:47,710 --> 00:08:54,050
Oh, well, when in Rome.
195
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:57,760
First off, let’s make ourselves comfortable.
196
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,180
Oh, well, we’re already comfortable.
197
00:09:01,180 --> 00:09:04,020
We felt at home the minute we walked in the door, right, Amanda?
198
00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:05,100
This place bites!
199
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,270
It can.
200
00:09:07,270 --> 00:09:09,190
I wouldn’t pet the Phys Ed teacher.
201
00:09:09,190 --> 00:09:12,520
All right, let’s review your file.
202
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,940
Wiccan file?
203
00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:14,690
Wiccan file?
204
00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:15,940
I know I put it somewhere.
205
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:17,150
Argh, excuse me.
206
00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:18,110
Ah, yes.
207
00:09:21,490 --> 00:09:23,740
Argh, Wiccan I believe.
208
00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:24,750
Yes, here we are.
209
00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:28,290
Let’s see, you’ve been expelled from twelve different schools.
210
00:09:28,290 --> 00:09:31,380
You’ve forced fourteen teachers into early retirement.
211
00:09:31,380 --> 00:09:33,420
One into a strait-jacket.
212
00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:38,300
On the other hand, you were the top seller in the Other Realm High magazine drive.
213
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,760
That’s what I love about Amanda.
214
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:40,640
She’s a real go-getter.
215
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,510
It says here you never turned in the money.
216
00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:44,220
That’s because I spent it on a mountain bike.
217
00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:48,230
No, wait, I stole the bike, I spent the money on a Kate Spade bag.
218
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:55,150
So, Amanda has a problem with dishonesty and greed, but that’s just because of her troubled background.
219
00:09:55,150 --> 00:10:00,110
I mean, I think if you get to know Amanda, you will see that she is a good spirit with a kind heart.
220
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,780
See how quickly she warmed up to you?
221
00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:13,130
I am so sorry.
222
00:10:13,130 --> 00:10:15,590
I’m sure if I just make a few phone calls, I can get all of Amanda’s records.
223
00:10:15,590 --> 00:10:16,960
Not necessary.
224
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,050
I know the type of student I’m dealing with.
225
00:10:19,050 --> 00:10:22,220
Oh, please, professor, there’s a lot more to Amanda than meets the eye.
226
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:22,930
I, argh.
227
00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:24,850
she’s very serious about school.
228
00:10:27,770 --> 00:10:31,150
I’ll have a banana split, two scoops of vanilla with chocolate sprinkles.
229
00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:31,850
Oh, and argh.
230
00:10:31,850 --> 00:10:33,360
,get a little something for yourself.
231
00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:35,730
I don’t think so.
232
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,490
Well, so much for the interview.
233
00:10:39,490 --> 00:10:42,610
Now, when can you come back for the tour?
234
00:10:42,610 --> 00:10:44,410
Never.
235
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:45,740
Or now.
236
00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:46,450
or sooner.
237
00:10:46,450 --> 00:10:47,950
You know, whatever works for you.
238
00:10:47,950 --> 00:10:49,460
How about after my faculty meeting?
239
00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:50,910
Oh, Amanda’s flexible.
240
00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:52,580
What a kid.
241
00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:57,300
Right, let’s begin today’s meeting with old business.
242
00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:58,340
Any old business?
243
00:10:58,340 --> 00:11:00,720
Yes, we need equipment for the gym.
244
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:01,970
We don’t have a gym.
245
00:11:01,970 --> 00:11:02,970
We need a gym.
246
00:11:02,970 --> 00:11:05,260
I’ll look into it.
247
00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:06,930
Any new business?
248
00:11:06,930 --> 00:11:08,850
I think we should talk about Sean.
249
00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:13,270
He’s been wreaking havoc around here for months, and, frankly, I don’t know if we can turn him around.
250
00:11:13,270 --> 00:11:14,650
Let me handle it.
251
00:11:14,650 --> 00:11:17,360
There’s a pack of Rottweiler's down town who owe me.
252
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,280
You want to have a student attacked by a pack of wild dogs?
253
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,160
You make it sound so dirty.
254
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:27,200
Maybe that’s because my approach to education doesn’t usually involve drawing blood.
255
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:32,870
James, he’s been bringing the entire neighbourhood to our door and jeopardising the security of the school.
256
00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:35,630
We may have to consider expulsion.
257
00:11:35,630 --> 00:11:37,340
I cannot believe what I am hearing.
258
00:11:37,340 --> 00:11:40,710
Are you telling me you want to just give up on a troubled youth and turn him out on the street?
259
00:11:40,710 --> 00:11:42,170
I’m with the broad.
260
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:43,510
Dump the chump.
261
00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:45,220
Tough love, baby.
262
00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:51,270
Well forgive me if I don’t take the advice of someone who scratches himself at the dining room table.
263
00:11:51,270 --> 00:11:54,020
I’m not giving up on Sean.
264
00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:57,940
If the witches had given up on me when I was at correctional school, where would I be today?
265
00:11:57,940 --> 00:11:58,730
Congress?
266
00:11:58,730 --> 00:12:00,860
Do we have any beer nuts?
267
00:12:00,860 --> 00:12:03,360
All right, that’s it, meeting adjourned.
268
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:09,870
Robin, why don’t you show Sabrina and Amanda round the school and later I’ll have Amanda sit in on my ethics class.
269
00:12:09,870 --> 00:12:11,700
How can I be of service?
270
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,830
You can clean up the mess you left in the backyard.
271
00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:16,960
Deal, but I want a new dental plan.
272
00:12:19,090 --> 00:12:19,880
Hi!
273
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,840
You must be Amanda.
274
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,050
Are you a new student here?
275
00:12:23,050 --> 00:12:24,550
I hope not.
276
00:12:24,550 --> 00:12:25,720
You’re negative.
277
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:32,810
I used to be negative, now I just wanna' make a good impression and have people like me for the positive, uplifting person that I am.
278
00:12:32,810 --> 00:12:34,020
Good luck with that.
279
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:34,850
Thanks.
280
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:37,020
Time for class.
281
00:12:37,020 --> 00:12:37,860
Are you sitting in?
282
00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:38,520
Wouldn’t miss it.
283
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,190
Great!
284
00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:42,280
You can sit right next to me, the seat is always empty.
285
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:44,780
What a shock.
286
00:12:44,780 --> 00:12:48,620
Hey, everybody, let’s give a warm welcome to our guest, Amanda.
287
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:51,990
I love that outfit.
288
00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:53,040
It’s yours.
289
00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:57,540
That’s the best you guys can do?
290
00:12:57,540 --> 00:13:00,040
And you call yourselves delinquents.
291
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:00,840
I do all right.
292
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:04,010
The other day I zapped a third cheek onto professor Hexton’s butt.
293
00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:06,130
You’re still doing butt jokes?
294
00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:08,050
That’s so second grade.
295
00:13:10,550 --> 00:13:11,600
So, what do you do for fun?
296
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,310
You’re looking at the witch who put the hole in the ozone layer.
297
00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:14,890
Wow.
298
00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:17,270
I didn’t know girls could do stuff like that.
299
00:13:17,270 --> 00:13:18,600
Well, you don’t know this girl.
300
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,190
OK, so here’s the plan for today’s class.
301
00:13:21,190 --> 00:13:25,190
You, the minute Hexton starts to talk, release the killer-bees.
302
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:29,280
You, when the mood strikes, unleash Tornado-in-a-drum.
303
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,530
And stay low.
304
00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:34,330
And, you, Smiley, take your pick.
305
00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:36,040
Salmonella or mad cow decease?
306
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,830
I like them both.
307
00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:40,130
Are we gonna' get in trouble?
308
00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:41,630
Hello, we’re witches.
309
00:13:41,630 --> 00:13:43,550
You people have so much to learn.
310
00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:47,220
And, I’ll be the one teaching them, thank you very much.
311
00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:50,550
Now, please take your seats, and I’ll take those jars.
312
00:13:50,550 --> 00:13:57,390
Well, Miss Wiccan, you certainly are quite bold for a guest.
313
00:13:57,390 --> 00:13:58,730
I’m just getting warmed up.
314
00:13:58,730 --> 00:14:05,980
Listen to me deary, I’ve been a witch since the Spanish Inquisition and if Torquemada didn’t scare me, you certainly don’t.
315
00:14:08,650 --> 00:14:10,660
All right, now, where did we leave off yesterday?
316
00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:16,790
I was telling Sean how I used my magic to hack into the computers at the Pentagon and you were babbling on about something.
317
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:17,410
Ethics.
318
00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:18,620
Doesn’t ring a bell.
319
00:14:18,620 --> 00:14:22,130
Ah, yes, now I remember, I was about to pose a problem.
320
00:14:22,130 --> 00:14:22,880
Suppose.
321
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:26,960
suppose you meet a mortal, with whom you’re interested in have a relationship.
322
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,970
How would you go about that?
323
00:14:28,970 --> 00:14:29,720
Sam?
324
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:35,350
Well, I’d use a mind-reading spell to amass data from her brain and then photographically memorise her interests.
325
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:36,390
News flash, dude.
326
00:14:36,390 --> 00:14:38,100
You’re photographing the wrong stuff.
327
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:41,730
Yes, just the person you want to listen to.
328
00:14:42,980 --> 00:14:45,230
The only way he can get a girl to like him is to put a spell on her.
329
00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:47,690
Now, can anyone tell me what’s wrong with what Sean did?
330
00:14:47,690 --> 00:14:48,530
He got caught.
331
00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:58,080
Oh, yes he did, and now his magic finger lives in this jarwith a toe.
332
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,910
Can’t explain.
333
00:14:59,910 --> 00:15:03,380
All right now, listen up people, here’s the deal.
334
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:07,130
You can’t find a relationship in a potion bottle.
335
00:15:07,130 --> 00:15:13,590
Oh, sure, you can manipulate people but real friendship, true love, they need more than magic to survive.
336
00:15:13,590 --> 00:15:15,260
They need human emotion.
337
00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:17,180
What makes you such an expert?
338
00:15:17,180 --> 00:15:23,520
Well, I wouldn’t exactly call myself an expert, but I do have some good friends and I did know true love.
339
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,520
once.
340
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,860
It was the Summer of sixty-nine.
341
00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:33,660
Fourteen sixty-nine and Botticelli was having one of his back yard barbeques.
342
00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:38,450
Suddenly, I looked up and saw a vision due west of the suckling pig.
343
00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:47,250
She was beautiful, she was brilliant and for a brief moment in time, she was mine.
344
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,420
What happened?
345
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:52,220
Ah, she left me for that stud-muffin Gutenberg.
346
00:15:52,220 --> 00:15:57,390
Ah, big deal, so the guy printed the Bible, it’s not like he wrote the blasted thing.
347
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:57,970
Sorry.
348
00:15:57,970 --> 00:16:00,970
Well, maybe if you’d used magic you would have stayed together.
349
00:16:00,970 --> 00:16:03,520
But it wouldn’t have been the same, would it?
350
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:08,820
Because I’d already experienced real magic, that all consuming passion that comes from within.
351
00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:12,440
That’s the most romantic story I’ve ever heard.
352
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:17,910
But if anyone ever dumps me for a Bible maker, they're toast.
353
00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:25,040
So, are you saying that a guy like me could get a girl without any magic?
354
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:25,830
I did.
355
00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:28,130
But, she like, totally broke your heart.
356
00:16:28,130 --> 00:16:30,920
Letting me know I had one.
357
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,800
Now, why don’t you see if you can find yours?
358
00:16:39,350 --> 00:16:44,730
All right, people, I’m going to let you ponder these matters for a while, while I take these jars to the land-fill.
359
00:16:44,730 --> 00:16:46,060
Carry on.
360
00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:49,820
OK, Amanda, what else have you got in that magic bag?
361
00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:52,110
Everything from cold-sores to cold wars.
362
00:16:52,110 --> 00:16:52,820
Cool.
363
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:55,400
Can I be the first to say you’d be a real asset to this school.
364
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,410
And you could help me with the yearbook.
365
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:05,080
We still have a number of applications to review before we fill the space but we'll call you as soon as we make our decision.
366
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,670
Well, we’ll be waiting by the phone.
367
00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:07,540
or the toaster.
368
00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:08,540
You know, whichever’s quicker.
369
00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:12,000
All right, let me have it.
370
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:12,710
You hate this place right?
371
00:17:12,710 --> 00:17:13,840
I don’t know.
372
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,510
It beats living with stepfather number nineteen.
373
00:17:15,510 --> 00:17:18,340
Amanda, that is the most positive thing you’ve ever said.
374
00:17:18,340 --> 00:17:19,720
You must really like it here.
375
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,180
Well, it’s the first place I ever felt I belonged.
376
00:17:22,180 --> 00:17:25,730
If you get accepted here you don’t have to be shuttled back and forth from realm to realm.
377
00:17:25,730 --> 00:17:29,480
I mean, you could really find some stability here and turn your life around.
378
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,770
Yeah, it all sounds good.
379
00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:33,440
But I learned a long time ago not to get my hopes up.
380
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,530
I’ll put in a good word for you.
381
00:17:35,530 --> 00:17:37,360
But it may not carry much weight.
382
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:38,410
I’m an umbrella.
383
00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:43,540
What’s taking so long?
384
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:44,700
Why haven’t they called yet?
385
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:47,160
When they do, can I answer the phone?
386
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,750
I wanna' hear James’ voice one more time.
387
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:51,380
Amanda really liked the place.
388
00:17:51,380 --> 00:17:52,250
I sure hope she gets in.
389
00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:53,170
That makes four of us.
390
00:17:53,170 --> 00:17:53,880
Five of us!
391
00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:56,630
Hello?
392
00:17:56,630 --> 00:17:57,340
Hi.
393
00:17:57,340 --> 00:17:58,180
Hi Professor Hexton.
394
00:17:58,180 --> 00:17:58,840
So?
395
00:17:58,840 --> 00:17:59,800
No?
396
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,600
Oh, say it ain't so.
397
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,180
But she was so.
398
00:18:03,180 --> 00:18:04,720
I see.
399
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,560
but Amanda really liked.
400
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:07,940
OK.
401
00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:10,190
thanks anyway.
402
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,560
I don’t believe this.
403
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:13,270
You?
404
00:18:13,270 --> 00:18:15,690
We’re the ones who are gonna' be stuck living with her.
405
00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:19,410
Did they give you any explanation as to why they didn’t accept Amanda?
406
00:18:19,410 --> 00:18:21,070
No.
407
00:18:21,070 --> 00:18:22,070
But they’re going to.
408
00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:25,410
Is it OK if I go to Copymart to look at hard drives?
409
00:18:25,410 --> 00:18:26,910
After you clear you plates.
410
00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:30,500
The right way, please.
411
00:18:34,170 --> 00:18:36,090
I caught the end of your lecture today.
412
00:18:36,090 --> 00:18:37,840
It was very moving.
413
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:38,880
Oh, thanks.
414
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:42,050
Do you think it had any effect on the kids?
415
00:18:42,050 --> 00:18:45,350
Well, I know it made me look at things a bit differently.
416
00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:48,560
Do you think that you could ever love that way again?
417
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,730
Well I, argh.
418
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,270
I suppose it’s possible.
419
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,030
I can’t believe you rejected my cousin Amanda.
420
00:19:01,030 --> 00:19:03,070
If she’s not right for this nut-house, who is?
421
00:19:03,070 --> 00:19:04,700
Lori Kersberg.
422
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:08,620
Thanks to her the Cubs haven’t won a world series since 1908.
423
00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:10,580
We take only the most extreme cases.
424
00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:13,960
At the end of the day, we felt that Amanda just wasn’t as troubled a soul.
425
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,250
She’s a nightmare!
426
00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:19,380
She’s a spoiled, selfish little brat who’s been nothing but trouble since the day she was born.
427
00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:21,300
We thought she was rather nice.
428
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:23,590
Actually, that’s the main reason we rejected her.
429
00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:25,390
You saw the well behaved Amanda.
430
00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:26,260
Want to see the real Amanda?
431
00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:28,390
Watch what happens when she finds out she didn’t get accepted.
432
00:19:28,390 --> 00:19:29,270
She’s gonna go ballistic.
433
00:19:29,270 --> 00:19:30,930
Anything?
434
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:31,690
Did the school call?
435
00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:32,980
Yes, sweetheart.
436
00:19:32,980 --> 00:19:34,480
Well, did I get in?
437
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,650
In your dreams, sweetheart.
438
00:19:36,650 --> 00:19:37,570
Nasty cat.
439
00:19:37,570 --> 00:19:39,400
Oh, you think he’s bad, keep watching.
440
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,820
Ten to one says she’ll blow up the house.
441
00:19:42,820 --> 00:19:44,490
She’s crying!
442
00:19:44,490 --> 00:19:46,580
Tears of rage, I assure you.
443
00:19:46,580 --> 00:19:47,990
I really liked it there.
444
00:19:47,990 --> 00:19:50,500
I mean, it’s the first place that ever felt like home.
445
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:52,580
Amazing.
446
00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:56,000
Amanda’s the first student ever to cry because she didn’t get accepted.
447
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,300
Normally they cry because the do.
448
00:19:58,300 --> 00:19:59,670
She can change, I promise!
449
00:19:59,670 --> 00:20:01,420
Oh, that won't be necessary.
450
00:20:01,420 --> 00:20:05,510
Any witch who’s that desperate to be here deserves a place.
451
00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:06,970
You mean you’ll accept her?
452
00:20:06,970 --> 00:20:08,720
What about the Kersberg girl?
453
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,060
Oh, she’s small, we can squeeze her in.
454
00:20:11,060 --> 00:20:13,640
How soon can you have Amanda here?
455
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,230
Oh, sooner than you can imagine.
456
00:20:15,230 --> 00:20:19,690
Just so we’re clear, I’m not sharing a room with anybody.
457
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:25,990
Oh, I’ll get it.
458
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,240
Well, hello.
459
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,250
Hi, my name's Tiffany.
460
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:34,160
I’m selling raffle tickets for my church.
461
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,790
They’re only a dollar, are you interested?
462
00:20:35,790 --> 00:20:37,750
Ha, I’m interested.
463
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,760
I’ll take five tickets.
464
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,340
I guess we’ll see if he learned anything in class.
465
00:20:44,340 --> 00:20:47,180
I don’t see why a guy who looks like that even needs magic.
466
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:48,720
Thank you very much.
467
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,930
No, thank you.
468
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,940
If you want a kiss, I need dinner and a movie.
469
00:20:59,940 --> 00:21:00,690
Where’s the girl?
470
00:21:00,690 --> 00:21:02,280
In your sick little mind!
471
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:08,370
Now give me fifty laps and take a cold shower and I’m keeping the five smackeroos.
472
00:21:08,370 --> 00:21:09,030
Oh, man.
473
00:21:12,950 --> 00:21:17,080
Well, I can’t say I like your tactics very much but you made your point.
474
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,040
However, I refuse to give up on Sean.
475
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,260
Hexton, you’re softer than a chewed-up slipper.
476
00:21:23,260 --> 00:21:26,180
Which reminds me, my gums are killing me.
477
00:21:26,180 --> 00:21:27,630
How about that dental plan?
37491
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