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1
00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:03,436
This is Taylor's last performance
2
00:00:03,505 --> 00:00:04,604
before she graduates, and we're gonna be
3
00:00:04,673 --> 00:00:06,349
so far in the back
that I can't document it.
4
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:08,531
Swayze had his shirt off.
What was I supposed to do?
5
00:00:10,979 --> 00:00:13,046
See? The doors are closed! We're late!
6
00:00:13,101 --> 00:00:15,682
Taylor goes on at 6:15. It's 6:13.
7
00:00:15,784 --> 00:00:16,983
I gave us a two-minute buffer
8
00:00:17,052 --> 00:00:18,618
because you pee so often these days.
9
00:00:20,322 --> 00:00:22,431
Where are you going?
10
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:23,829
To our seats.
11
00:00:23,876 --> 00:00:26,698
Sorry. We're late. It's her fault.
12
00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:28,938
Whenever "Point Break" is on,
she just has to finish it.
13
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:34,634
Katie, what are you doing?
14
00:00:34,736 --> 00:00:35,879
These are reserved for the senator.
15
00:00:35,904 --> 00:00:37,837
There's no senator. I snuck in here
16
00:00:37,906 --> 00:00:39,085
and taped them off
when I picked up Anna-Kat.
17
00:00:39,155 --> 00:00:41,374
- But everyone else waited in line.
- Are you kidding?
18
00:00:41,443 --> 00:00:43,452
These spoiled ding-a-lings had
their nannies do it for them.
19
00:00:43,499 --> 00:00:44,899
You can't just
break the rules like this.
20
00:00:44,967 --> 00:00:46,834
Sure, you can. See? We're doing it.
21
00:00:46,903 --> 00:00:48,269
You just have to become immune
22
00:00:48,337 --> 00:00:49,770
to people staring daggers at you.
23
00:00:49,839 --> 00:00:51,238
This is how you handle it.
24
00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:52,339
Hey, girl!
25
00:00:58,848 --> 00:01:01,548
I'm not a big classical music fan,
but that seemed fine.
26
00:01:01,617 --> 00:01:05,085
Okay, our next performer is...
27
00:01:06,889 --> 00:01:09,079
Very funny. That was not me.
28
00:01:09,158 --> 00:01:11,692
I have exquisite control.
29
00:01:12,995 --> 00:01:14,220
Seniors rule!
30
00:01:16,499 --> 00:01:19,934
Westport Unified has
a tradition of senior pranks,
31
00:01:20,002 --> 00:01:22,236
but this time,
you've gone too far, mister.
32
00:01:22,305 --> 00:01:25,706
You fart me? Well, I fart you!
33
00:01:25,775 --> 00:01:28,309
From now on, there will be
no more senior pranks
34
00:01:28,411 --> 00:01:30,510
for the rest of the year,
or face the consequences!
35
00:01:49,832 --> 00:01:52,232
I can't believe Principal Ablin
called off senior prank.
36
00:01:52,335 --> 00:01:54,501
I know, and the one I did
my last senior year
37
00:01:54,603 --> 00:01:55,703
was so much fun.
38
00:01:55,771 --> 00:01:57,404
You guys should just do one anyway.
39
00:01:57,473 --> 00:01:59,573
Taylor, don't listen to your mother.
She's a bad influence.
40
00:01:59,642 --> 00:02:02,242
My favorite memories
all involve breaking the rules.
41
00:02:02,345 --> 00:02:04,611
Like in high school,
my friend Missy Andrews
42
00:02:04,714 --> 00:02:06,246
stole a key to the concession stand,
43
00:02:06,349 --> 00:02:07,881
and we would skip class, sneak in,
44
00:02:07,984 --> 00:02:09,183
and grill hamburgers.
45
00:02:09,251 --> 00:02:11,785
That's truancy, breaking
and entering, stealing...
46
00:02:11,854 --> 00:02:13,854
No! It was the best.
47
00:02:13,956 --> 00:02:14,989
It's also where I learned
48
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:17,057
that I was definitely not a lesbian.
49
00:02:17,159 --> 00:02:18,592
- Hmm.
- What is wrong with you?
50
00:02:18,694 --> 00:02:20,427
I just want our daughter
to have some fun!
51
00:02:20,529 --> 00:02:22,830
Live a little. You only get one life.
52
00:02:22,932 --> 00:02:25,366
Don't worry, Dad, I'm definitely
not doing a senior prank.
53
00:02:25,468 --> 00:02:27,835
Right. You guys are not doing a prank.
54
00:02:27,937 --> 00:02:29,770
Gotcha.
55
00:02:29,839 --> 00:02:30,971
Why are you winking at me?
56
00:02:31,073 --> 00:02:33,841
Great. So, you're a snitch, too.
57
00:02:38,214 --> 00:02:40,514
I'm worried if Taylor doesn't
learn to break the rules
58
00:02:40,583 --> 00:02:42,483
and color outside the lines
once in a while,
59
00:02:42,551 --> 00:02:43,550
she's going to miss out.
60
00:02:43,652 --> 00:02:45,452
I'm a lawyer. My whole life is rules.
61
00:02:45,554 --> 00:02:46,820
We have them for a reason...
62
00:02:46,922 --> 00:02:48,555
to secure a safe and just society.
63
00:02:48,657 --> 00:02:49,656
Hmm.
64
00:02:49,725 --> 00:02:50,858
You know, when you're as rich as I am,
65
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:51,992
there are no rules.
66
00:02:52,094 --> 00:02:53,027
Watch.
67
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,728
Yes, hi.
68
00:02:54,830 --> 00:02:56,196
I would like that woman's food.
69
00:02:56,298 --> 00:02:58,032
- Okay, she's having the...
- N-No.
70
00:02:58,100 --> 00:02:59,266
You're not understanding me.
71
00:02:59,368 --> 00:03:00,667
I want her food.
72
00:03:00,770 --> 00:03:01,835
Oh, I... I couldn't possibly...
73
00:03:05,608 --> 00:03:08,008
Hey! I'm not done!
74
00:03:08,110 --> 00:03:09,877
See? No rules.
75
00:03:09,979 --> 00:03:12,112
Greg is such a rigid by-the-book guy,
76
00:03:12,214 --> 00:03:13,947
and that's what I love about him.
77
00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:16,180
Actually, I don't.
I don't know why I just said that.
78
00:03:16,205 --> 00:03:17,228
- Mm-hmm.
- Continue.
79
00:03:17,253 --> 00:03:18,685
Because he's such a rule-follower,
80
00:03:18,754 --> 00:03:21,622
I have to go the other way to
balance things out for the kids.
81
00:03:21,724 --> 00:03:22,923
So it's Greg's fault
82
00:03:23,025 --> 00:03:25,459
that I have to force Taylor
to do a senior prank.
83
00:03:25,561 --> 00:03:27,628
I'd like my breakfast back.
84
00:03:27,830 --> 00:03:29,296
No.
85
00:03:29,365 --> 00:03:31,222
Bring me your fruit.
86
00:03:36,939 --> 00:03:38,906
No rules!
87
00:03:39,008 --> 00:03:41,909
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
88
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:47,014
If I make this, I'll
have my dad buy the Warriors.
89
00:03:50,519 --> 00:03:51,485
Why'd you do that?
90
00:03:51,587 --> 00:03:52,886
I don't care for Steph Curry.
91
00:03:54,623 --> 00:03:56,256
Guys...
92
00:03:56,358 --> 00:03:59,726
I just got invited to a party
at Maggie K's house.
93
00:03:59,829 --> 00:04:02,296
It's my first
"party for no reason" party!
94
00:04:02,398 --> 00:04:03,464
That's big!
95
00:04:03,566 --> 00:04:04,639
iFelicidades!
96
00:04:04,664 --> 00:04:05,678
You made it.
97
00:04:05,734 --> 00:04:07,000
You've become a cool kid, huh?
98
00:04:07,103 --> 00:04:09,269
My money was on shut-in
or serial killer.
99
00:04:09,371 --> 00:04:10,904
I'm so excited to go with Franklin.
100
00:04:11,006 --> 00:04:12,873
Wait. Franklin was invited
to this party?
101
00:04:12,975 --> 00:04:15,075
Well, no, but he's staying
with us this weekend.
102
00:04:15,177 --> 00:04:17,411
His mom's cult
is going to Branson, Missouri,
103
00:04:17,513 --> 00:04:18,779
to take in a few shows.
104
00:04:18,881 --> 00:04:22,282
It's not all arms trafficking
and praying to the moon.
105
00:04:22,384 --> 00:04:24,959
- You can't bring Franklin.
- I have to.
106
00:04:25,021 --> 00:04:26,827
He's my platonic childhood
husband/partner.
107
00:04:26,922 --> 00:04:28,702
But this is a cool-kid party,
108
00:04:28,788 --> 00:04:30,357
and Franklin's a stone-cold weirdo.
109
00:04:30,459 --> 00:04:31,999
No, he's not. He's unique.
110
00:04:32,053 --> 00:04:33,827
Off-beat. Eccentric.
111
00:04:33,929 --> 00:04:36,096
All words parents use
when their kid is a weirdo.
112
00:04:36,198 --> 00:04:37,631
Well, I can't blow off this party.
113
00:04:37,733 --> 00:04:38,999
That'd be social suicide.
114
00:04:39,101 --> 00:04:40,868
Can you guys help me?
115
00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:42,469
- By doing what?
- I don't know.
116
00:04:42,571 --> 00:04:44,872
Teach Franklin to be cool
so I can take him with me.
117
00:04:44,974 --> 00:04:46,273
I guess we could help this kid out.
118
00:04:46,375 --> 00:04:48,609
I made you cool.
I could make Franklin cool.
119
00:04:48,711 --> 00:04:51,345
Are you kidding? I made you cool, dude.
120
00:04:51,447 --> 00:04:53,480
Dude, you never even
used the word "dude"
121
00:04:53,582 --> 00:04:54,915
before I met you, dude.
122
00:04:55,017 --> 00:04:56,350
- Dude.
- Dude.
123
00:04:56,452 --> 00:04:58,051
- Dude?
- Dude.
124
00:04:58,154 --> 00:04:59,119
Dude.
125
00:04:59,221 --> 00:05:00,754
What the hell is going on?
126
00:05:00,856 --> 00:05:03,690
Thanks for taking us
to get tacos, Mrs. A.
127
00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:04,725
I lied.
128
00:05:04,827 --> 00:05:06,426
We're not going to get tacos.
129
00:05:06,529 --> 00:05:08,542
Oh, no, I've seen her do this to Luthor.
130
00:05:08,597 --> 00:05:09,607
We're going to the vet!
131
00:05:09,632 --> 00:05:11,765
We're going to your school
to pull a senior prank!
132
00:05:11,867 --> 00:05:13,934
Whoo! Class of 2019!
133
00:05:14,036 --> 00:05:15,269
But we're the class of 2020.
134
00:05:15,371 --> 00:05:16,837
Sorry. Old habits.
135
00:05:22,344 --> 00:05:24,778
I've got Silly String,
shaving cream, and clothes
136
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,947
to make the Minuteman
look like Principal Ablin.
137
00:05:27,049 --> 00:05:29,249
Let's get to work!
138
00:05:29,351 --> 00:05:30,684
But aren't we gonna get in trouble?
139
00:05:30,786 --> 00:05:32,719
Silly String and shaving cream wipe off.
140
00:05:32,821 --> 00:05:34,054
This is harmless fun.
141
00:05:34,156 --> 00:05:35,889
Taylor, trust your mother.
142
00:05:41,497 --> 00:05:43,430
Whoa!
143
00:05:43,532 --> 00:05:45,165
This is so much better than my prank.
144
00:05:45,234 --> 00:05:47,401
I was gonna spin around
real fast until I got dizzy.
145
00:05:47,469 --> 00:05:49,336
- And?
- That was the whole prank.
146
00:05:49,438 --> 00:05:50,404
Who's that pranking?
147
00:05:50,506 --> 00:05:51,538
My tummy, mostly.
148
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:52,940
Oh, geez...
149
00:06:00,416 --> 00:06:02,549
Wow. That is such a good Ablin.
150
00:06:02,651 --> 00:06:03,917
We've gotta send this to him.
151
00:06:04,019 --> 00:06:06,386
- Oh, sweetie.
- I feel so alive!
152
00:06:06,488 --> 00:06:08,255
But we should really get going
before we get caught.
153
00:06:08,357 --> 00:06:10,757
Hang on. Here is the finishing touch.
154
00:06:10,859 --> 00:06:11,992
Mm!
155
00:06:20,269 --> 00:06:21,389
All right, come on down.
156
00:06:24,740 --> 00:06:26,773
Oh, my God, the statue! I broke it!
157
00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:29,309
- Oh, man.
- Don't worry.
158
00:06:29,378 --> 00:06:31,545
I'm sure it snaps right back in.
159
00:06:35,716 --> 00:06:39,138
I'm not gonna lie to you, kids.
This is not good.
160
00:06:45,178 --> 00:06:47,578
Okay, thank you.
161
00:06:47,688 --> 00:06:49,240
That was the Historical Guild.
162
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,162
Apparently, last night,
163
00:06:51,232 --> 00:06:54,129
some monster desecrated
the school's Minuteman statue!
164
00:06:54,231 --> 00:06:56,423
- Off with his head!
- That's far too humane!
165
00:06:56,466 --> 00:06:57,641
If these were Colonial days,
166
00:06:57,735 --> 00:06:59,602
whoever did this
would be dragged by horses,
167
00:06:59,656 --> 00:07:00,721
thrown off a cliff, and...
168
00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:02,333
Oh, you're making fun of me.
169
00:07:05,776 --> 00:07:07,475
I can't take this.
I'm going to confess to Dad.
170
00:07:07,544 --> 00:07:09,878
Taylor, if you take
responsibility for your actions,
171
00:07:09,946 --> 00:07:11,279
you are so grounded.
172
00:07:11,381 --> 00:07:12,580
You are the weirdest mom ever!
173
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,783
Look, the only way
we're getting out of this mess
174
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:17,385
is if we stick together
and keep our mouths shut.
175
00:07:18,255 --> 00:07:19,821
I did what you said, Mrs. A.
176
00:07:19,923 --> 00:07:21,523
I "took care" of the musket.
177
00:07:21,591 --> 00:07:23,658
I took really good care of it.
178
00:07:23,727 --> 00:07:25,393
It's cleaned and polished.
179
00:07:25,462 --> 00:07:26,795
That's not at all what I meant.
180
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,596
I'm starting to think
I have a learning disability.
181
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:31,933
Oh, sweetie.
182
00:07:33,303 --> 00:07:36,271
Ugh! Holy crap, it's Principal Ablin.
183
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,305
We're caught!
184
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,607
Trip, I am going to be very clear here
185
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:40,942
so that there's no confusion.
186
00:07:41,011 --> 00:07:43,111
Bury the musket in the backyard
using a shovel,
187
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:45,580
and make sure that the musket
is fully covered with dirt
188
00:07:45,649 --> 00:07:47,515
so that it's not
sticking out of the ground.
189
00:07:47,584 --> 00:07:49,117
"It" being the musket,
190
00:07:49,186 --> 00:07:51,619
and "the ground" being the ground.
191
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:52,720
See?
192
00:07:52,823 --> 00:07:54,322
Why can't everyone talk to me like that?
193
00:07:54,424 --> 00:07:56,224
Coming!
194
00:07:58,662 --> 00:08:01,062
Principal Ablin! What a surprise.
195
00:08:01,164 --> 00:08:03,131
I've come with terrible news.
196
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,433
You're going to want to sit down.
197
00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:10,004
The Westport Minuteman,
our school's beloved statue,
198
00:08:10,106 --> 00:08:11,472
has been vandalized.
199
00:08:11,541 --> 00:08:13,942
What?!
200
00:08:14,044 --> 00:08:15,743
Do you have any idea who did this?
201
00:08:15,812 --> 00:08:17,478
Not yet. That's why I'm here.
202
00:08:17,547 --> 00:08:18,980
I wanted to talk to your husband.
203
00:08:19,049 --> 00:08:21,883
Oh. Um, Greg?!
204
00:08:23,486 --> 00:08:25,086
I'm sure you know about the attack.
205
00:08:25,188 --> 00:08:27,789
I do. I was standing right
there when I heard the news.
206
00:08:27,858 --> 00:08:30,325
I myself was near
the water fountain at school
207
00:08:30,393 --> 00:08:31,492
that doesn't have enough pressure.
208
00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:33,661
Ah, the dribbler. I know it well.
209
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:34,896
Since this is a school matter,
210
00:08:34,965 --> 00:08:36,331
I'm keeping the investigation in-house,
211
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:37,966
but I need someone on my team
212
00:08:38,068 --> 00:08:39,767
with an intimate knowledge
of local history.
213
00:08:39,836 --> 00:08:41,569
Will you help me catch
the criminals who did this?
214
00:08:41,638 --> 00:08:43,705
- Of course.
- For history!
215
00:08:43,807 --> 00:08:45,807
- For Westport!
- For Mother!
216
00:08:45,876 --> 00:08:47,909
Hello, Dad and Principal.
217
00:08:48,011 --> 00:08:50,245
We were just outside digging holes.
218
00:08:50,347 --> 00:08:51,846
We watched the movie "Holes,"
219
00:08:51,915 --> 00:08:53,147
and we wanted to dig holes
220
00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:54,816
like the holes they dug in "Holes."
221
00:08:54,918 --> 00:08:57,252
You probably have no idea,
222
00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,221
but your school's Minuteman
statue has been vandalized,
223
00:09:00,323 --> 00:09:05,927
and Principal Ablin here
has no idea who did it.
224
00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:07,095
No idea.
225
00:09:07,197 --> 00:09:09,564
But I soon will.
226
00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:10,798
Spread the word, kids.
227
00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:12,066
Whichever senior did this
228
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,936
will not be able to walk at graduation.
229
00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:17,438
Milady.
230
00:09:18,742 --> 00:09:20,541
Is he threatening to break our legs?
231
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:22,277
I'll explain later.
232
00:09:23,847 --> 00:09:26,147
Okay, Franklin,
my brother and Cooper are here
233
00:09:26,249 --> 00:09:28,383
to get you ready
for your first cool-kid party.
234
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:29,484
Ooh, a makeover!
235
00:09:29,552 --> 00:09:31,552
But just so you know,
I'm happy with my frame,
236
00:09:31,621 --> 00:09:33,187
so I don't want to get too buff.
237
00:09:33,256 --> 00:09:35,623
Franklin, the two things you need
to succeed at a Westport party
238
00:09:35,725 --> 00:09:37,825
are conversation skills
and a sick outfit.
239
00:09:37,894 --> 00:09:39,127
Do you have a go-to funny story?
240
00:09:39,229 --> 00:09:40,194
Do I!
241
00:09:40,263 --> 00:09:42,163
Me and my Uncle Julius
were on a canoe trip,
242
00:09:42,232 --> 00:09:44,532
and I had a fishing line
hanging off my extra toe...
243
00:09:44,601 --> 00:09:45,800
We're shutting this down right now.
244
00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:47,435
I'll give you one of my stories,
245
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,437
you'll memorize it
and say it word for word.
246
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,039
We need to lose the tiger shirt.
247
00:09:51,141 --> 00:09:52,106
Mm-hmm, definitely.
248
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,008
And are you wearing jeggings, Franklin?
249
00:09:55,045 --> 00:09:56,878
Oh, jeggings is a much better name.
250
00:09:56,947 --> 00:09:58,780
I've been calling them leg-eans.
251
00:09:59,983 --> 00:10:01,649
Let's get to work.
252
00:10:01,718 --> 00:10:04,919
The Minuteman was placed here
over 200 years ago.
253
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:08,623
The school was actually
built around the statue in 1958.
254
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:09,991
And here he stands,
255
00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:12,927
a symbol of those
who defended this town.
256
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,330
Now it's our turn to defend him.
257
00:10:15,398 --> 00:10:16,397
What'd you say?
258
00:10:16,499 --> 00:10:17,865
Nothing.
259
00:10:19,569 --> 00:10:22,003
I'm going to take this
to the lab and get it tested.
260
00:10:22,072 --> 00:10:24,205
- It's Silly String.
- But can we be sure?
261
00:10:24,307 --> 00:10:25,506
- Yeah. We can be sure.
- Hmm.
262
00:10:25,575 --> 00:10:27,208
The lab will give us
a definitive answer.
263
00:10:27,310 --> 00:10:28,343
Now...
264
00:10:28,368 --> 00:10:29,387
Mm.
265
00:10:29,412 --> 00:10:31,379
What is this mystery substance here?
266
00:10:31,481 --> 00:10:32,747
It's very clearly shaving cream.
267
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:35,116
Or is that what
the culprit wants us to think?
268
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:40,492
- Only the lab will know for sure.
- What lab?
269
00:10:40,531 --> 00:10:42,445
Well, it's not a Labrador Retriever,
I'll tell you that.
270
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,159
That's a joke that the professionals
in the lab taught me.
271
00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:50,996
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78-foot yacht
272
00:10:51,059 --> 00:10:52,379
and they're bringing out the caviar...
273
00:10:52,442 --> 00:10:55,103
No, no, no. Wagyu steak skewers.
274
00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:56,270
If you can't remember that,
275
00:10:56,339 --> 00:10:57,872
then we're just going to
have to do the Prague story,
276
00:10:57,974 --> 00:11:00,008
because they're not going to
serve caviar at Lake Como.
277
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,142
Not at that time of year.
278
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,444
Franklin, if you want to remember Wagyu
279
00:11:03,513 --> 00:11:04,946
just remember... Wagyu, doo-doo.
280
00:11:05,015 --> 00:11:07,482
He can remember anything
if you just put doo-doo in it.
281
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:08,983
Watch this...
282
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:11,586
Franklin, what's the
atomic number of titanium?
283
00:11:11,654 --> 00:11:13,788
- Two, two!
- The system works.
284
00:11:15,025 --> 00:11:17,225
Katie, can you move your car?
285
00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:19,127
Why don't you just take mine?
The keys are on the table.
286
00:11:19,229 --> 00:11:20,895
Great. See you later.
287
00:11:20,997 --> 00:11:22,530
There's empty cans of Silly String
288
00:11:22,632 --> 00:11:23,998
and shaving cream in the back seat!
289
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:26,367
I told you to dissolve those
in an acid bath!
290
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,770
- We don't have any acid!
- You didn't even call Home Depot!
291
00:11:28,872 --> 00:11:31,205
Go!
292
00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:33,875
Wait! Dad!
293
00:11:35,078 --> 00:11:36,644
What's up, sweetie?
294
00:11:36,746 --> 00:11:38,579
Um, I'm worried about you and Mom.
295
00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:39,686
- What?
- It's just...
296
00:11:39,710 --> 00:11:41,866
I haven't seen you guys kiss
in a really long time.
297
00:11:41,944 --> 00:11:43,584
And I'm worried about your marriage.
298
00:11:43,653 --> 00:11:44,685
Taylor, that's insane.
299
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:47,121
Greg, our daughter
is clearly very upset.
300
00:11:47,223 --> 00:11:49,724
Let's show her that our
relationship is as strong as ever.
301
00:11:49,826 --> 00:11:51,859
Well, I...
302
00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,536
Thanks, guys.
303
00:12:01,604 --> 00:12:03,171
That was great.
304
00:12:03,239 --> 00:12:05,173
Okay, good. She feels better.
305
00:12:05,275 --> 00:12:06,274
That was weird,
306
00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:08,342
but I'll take it.
307
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,546
I handed it to her, she took a sip,
308
00:12:11,614 --> 00:12:14,382
and she said, "That's the best
lemonade I've ever had."
309
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,784
And that's where Beyoncé got
the name for her album.
310
00:12:16,853 --> 00:12:18,319
I don't need credit, though.
311
00:12:18,388 --> 00:12:19,520
The compliment was enough.
312
00:12:19,622 --> 00:12:21,189
You did it! That's the story.
313
00:12:21,291 --> 00:12:23,291
You told it from beginning
to end with no mistakes.
314
00:12:23,393 --> 00:12:24,459
And this outfit...
315
00:12:24,527 --> 00:12:26,794
If we could achieve this with my Dad,
316
00:12:26,863 --> 00:12:29,297
I could maybe get behind
being seen in public with him.
317
00:12:29,399 --> 00:12:31,332
What happens when he's done
telling the story?
318
00:12:31,434 --> 00:12:32,300
What does he say then?
319
00:12:32,402 --> 00:12:33,568
After a story like that,
320
00:12:33,636 --> 00:12:35,470
all he has to do
is lean against the wall,
321
00:12:35,572 --> 00:12:36,938
sip some water, and play it cool.
322
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,272
Coop, show him.
323
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,577
Whoa.
324
00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:45,213
Standing and sipping water?
325
00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:47,748
It'll take some practice,
but I think I can do it.
326
00:12:50,887 --> 00:12:52,453
Okay, here's what I've got so far.
327
00:12:52,555 --> 00:12:53,554
Below the statue,
328
00:12:53,656 --> 00:12:55,256
it says, "Seniors Rule,"
in shaving cream.
329
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,357
You were right.
330
00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:58,893
And you were right about
the Silly String, too.
331
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:01,362
It cost me $200
to have a lab confirm that,
332
00:13:01,464 --> 00:13:04,799
plus a $250 speeding ticket
I got racing to the lab.
333
00:13:04,901 --> 00:13:06,601
Money well-spent.
334
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:09,570
So, since I've left,
you've made... zero progress.
335
00:13:09,639 --> 00:13:12,073
It's shaving cream
and Silly String, Greg.
336
00:13:12,175 --> 00:13:13,478
We now know that.
337
00:13:13,564 --> 00:13:15,243
Why don't we check
the school's security cameras?
338
00:13:15,345 --> 00:13:17,478
- Those are fake.
- But wasn't there a fundraiser?
339
00:13:17,580 --> 00:13:20,260
We used the money for Restoration Hardware
couches for the teachers' lounge.
340
00:13:20,314 --> 00:13:22,283
- Pretty sweet.
- But without footage or some evidence,
341
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:23,451
we're never going to solve this case.
342
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,986
All we need to do is go to every store
343
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,787
within a hundred-mile radius
that sells Silly String
344
00:13:26,856 --> 00:13:28,956
and interview the clerks. Aggressively.
345
00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:31,459
I don't know why I thought
this was going to be real.
346
00:13:34,364 --> 00:13:36,097
...and don't forget
347
00:13:36,199 --> 00:13:38,099
to attach your bibliography.
348
00:13:38,201 --> 00:13:40,034
Properly formatted!
349
00:13:41,271 --> 00:13:43,671
You do such a good
Mrs. Conway impression.
350
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,840
Why is Franklin over there by himself?
351
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,810
Oh, he's just jet lagged from Italy.
352
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:52,332
Oh, my gosh, Italy? I love Italy.
353
00:13:52,403 --> 00:13:54,113
Hey, Franklin, Anna-Kat said
354
00:13:54,153 --> 00:13:55,707
you just got back from Europe.
355
00:13:55,746 --> 00:13:56,851
It was Italy, actually.
356
00:13:58,021 --> 00:13:59,420
You're just as funny as Anna-Kat!
357
00:13:59,522 --> 00:14:02,888
Why don't you tell them
about your trip, Franklin?
358
00:14:02,965 --> 00:14:03,981
It was so interesting
359
00:14:04,059 --> 00:14:06,027
and worthy of telling
other people about.
360
00:14:06,129 --> 00:14:07,328
I'd love to.
361
00:14:07,397 --> 00:14:09,197
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78-foot yacht
362
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,299
and they're bringing out
the Wagyu steak skewers...
363
00:14:11,401 --> 00:14:12,400
Lake Como?
364
00:14:12,502 --> 00:14:13,601
Isn't that where
George Clooney has a place?
365
00:14:13,703 --> 00:14:14,702
Uh...
366
00:14:14,804 --> 00:14:16,470
Just keep going.
367
00:14:16,539 --> 00:14:18,639
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78-foot yacht...
368
00:14:18,699 --> 00:14:19,660
You already said that.
369
00:14:19,742 --> 00:14:22,276
I know but I only have it
memorized from the beginning.
370
00:14:22,345 --> 00:14:24,145
Wait, what do you mean memorized?
371
00:14:24,247 --> 00:14:26,380
Just continue the story
from where you stopped.
372
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:27,915
So I'm in Lake Como
373
00:14:28,017 --> 00:14:29,283
on my dad's 78-foot yacht.
374
00:14:29,352 --> 00:14:30,318
And they're bringing out
375
00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:32,353
the doo-doo steaks... I mean, Wag-doo.
376
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,188
Shoot. What do I do?
377
00:14:34,257 --> 00:14:35,790
Just do the water thing.
378
00:14:35,892 --> 00:14:38,593
Pardon me for a minute,
I've developed a thirst.
379
00:14:41,664 --> 00:14:43,598
Franklin! No. Abort!
380
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:46,534
Franklin! No! Stop!
381
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:49,704
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78-foot yacht,
382
00:14:49,772 --> 00:14:52,506
and they're bringing out
the Wagyu steak skewers...
383
00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,447
So it turns out
384
00:14:59,549 --> 00:15:02,883
- Principal Ablin's no Hercule Poirot.
- I'm sorry, who?
385
00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:04,819
- He's no Inspector Gadget.
- Got it.
386
00:15:04,921 --> 00:15:06,566
We're never going to find out
who damaged that statue.
387
00:15:06,623 --> 00:15:08,652
Don't give up, Mr. A.
You're better than that.
388
00:15:09,581 --> 00:15:12,426
Give up, Mr. A.
You're not better than that.
389
00:15:12,528 --> 00:15:13,661
Well, this is a real shame.
390
00:15:13,763 --> 00:15:15,096
It will forever remain unsolved,
391
00:15:15,198 --> 00:15:16,464
like who killed Biggie.
392
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:22,603
Why does Luthor have
the Minuteman's musket?
393
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,074
He must have attacked the vandals
394
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,510
and kept the musket as a trophy.
395
00:15:29,612 --> 00:15:31,012
Good boy, Luthor!
396
00:15:31,114 --> 00:15:32,747
Well, case closed.
397
00:15:34,651 --> 00:15:36,083
You're right.
398
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,286
Luthor is the vandal.
399
00:15:38,388 --> 00:15:39,854
Case closed.
400
00:15:41,913 --> 00:15:43,160
Case closed!
401
00:15:47,478 --> 00:15:49,861
Okay, what the hell is going on?
402
00:15:49,947 --> 00:15:52,948
Well, clearly someone
broke into our backyard
403
00:15:53,017 --> 00:15:55,584
and buried the musket
in an effort to frame us.
404
00:15:55,686 --> 00:15:56,718
No.
405
00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:58,553
Me, Trip, and Mom vandalized the statue.
406
00:15:58,622 --> 00:16:00,155
And that's why you're not my favorite.
407
00:16:00,224 --> 00:16:02,307
We let you down, Mrs. A.
408
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:04,626
I'm sorry we're not the
criminals you wanted us to be.
409
00:16:04,662 --> 00:16:07,562
I'm going to return the musket and
tell Ablin who's responsible.
410
00:16:08,732 --> 00:16:11,199
Good job, Luthor.
411
00:16:11,301 --> 00:16:12,868
Idiot.
412
00:16:17,341 --> 00:16:19,708
Oh, there you are.
413
00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:22,944
I didn't do such a good job
being cool, did I?
414
00:16:23,013 --> 00:16:24,613
It's okay, Franklin.
415
00:16:24,682 --> 00:16:26,882
You know, this isn't really
my scene, man.
416
00:16:26,984 --> 00:16:28,417
I'm just going to stay in here
417
00:16:28,519 --> 00:16:29,818
for the rest of the party.
418
00:16:29,887 --> 00:16:32,020
Okay, want me to get you anything?
419
00:16:32,089 --> 00:16:34,423
I'll take more of that
flower water if they have it.
420
00:16:34,491 --> 00:16:35,691
That stuff is good.
421
00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:37,926
I'll see what I can do.
422
00:16:40,964 --> 00:16:45,734
♪ And in the bad times, I fear myself ♪
423
00:16:55,679 --> 00:17:00,482
♪ I'm off the deep end,
watch as I dive in ♪
424
00:17:00,551 --> 00:17:04,783
♪ I'll never meet the ground ♪
425
00:17:04,822 --> 00:17:10,258
♪ Crash through the surface,
where they can't hurt us ♪
426
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:14,963
♪ We're far from the shallow now ♪
427
00:17:15,999 --> 00:17:20,335
♪ In the sha-ha, sha-ha-low ♪
428
00:17:20,437 --> 00:17:25,173
♪ In the sha-, sha-la-la-la-low ♪
429
00:17:25,275 --> 00:17:30,078
♪ In the sha-ha, sha-ha-low ♪
430
00:17:30,147 --> 00:17:35,717
♪ We're far from the shallow now ♪
431
00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:46,510
Franklin, that was beautiful!
432
00:17:46,573 --> 00:17:48,597
I didn't know
you knew how to play the piano.
433
00:17:48,622 --> 00:17:49,641
Your voice is...
434
00:17:49,666 --> 00:17:50,899
Like an angel. I know.
435
00:17:50,968 --> 00:17:54,035
I never should've listened
to Oliver and Cooper.
436
00:17:54,138 --> 00:17:56,171
You're perfect just being you.
437
00:17:56,273 --> 00:17:57,372
I'm always myself.
438
00:17:57,441 --> 00:17:59,074
Except when I'm the ghost
of my Uncle Julius
439
00:17:59,143 --> 00:18:00,609
who died in that canoe accident.
440
00:18:00,677 --> 00:18:04,487
Franklin, I'm sorry
I tried to change you.
441
00:18:04,557 --> 00:18:05,714
That's okay.
442
00:18:05,783 --> 00:18:06,882
I know I'm weird.
443
00:18:06,984 --> 00:18:08,717
But I really like myself.
444
00:18:08,819 --> 00:18:10,886
I could do without
the chronic lower back pain,
445
00:18:10,954 --> 00:18:13,021
but I heard it gets better
as you get older.
446
00:18:36,346 --> 00:18:37,882
Principal Ablin.
447
00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:39,015
Good news.
448
00:18:39,078 --> 00:18:40,586
As you can see,
I'm this close to solving it.
449
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:41,570
Now all I have to do
450
00:18:41,617 --> 00:18:43,919
is replace these question marks
with names and faces.
451
00:18:44,021 --> 00:18:45,987
I know who did it.
452
00:18:46,089 --> 00:18:47,355
It was me.
453
00:18:47,457 --> 00:18:50,192
I knew it!
454
00:18:51,261 --> 00:18:52,727
It's the only reason
I put you on the case,
455
00:18:52,830 --> 00:18:53,962
to keep my enemies close.
456
00:18:54,064 --> 00:18:55,363
You almost got away with it.
457
00:18:55,465 --> 00:18:58,217
But nobody escapes... Ablin Justice.
458
00:18:58,281 --> 00:18:59,347
But I turned myself in.
459
00:18:59,403 --> 00:19:00,468
Potato potato.
460
00:19:03,674 --> 00:19:06,875
I can't believe we're not
walking at graduation.
461
00:19:06,944 --> 00:19:08,109
Again.
462
00:19:09,413 --> 00:19:11,413
I'm really sorry, guys.
463
00:19:11,515 --> 00:19:14,166
So I talked with Principal Ablin.
464
00:19:14,227 --> 00:19:16,470
Taylor and Trip should be
allowed to walk graduation.
465
00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:17,586
Taylor worked so hard this year,
466
00:19:17,654 --> 00:19:19,387
I thought she just deserved
a little fun.
467
00:19:19,489 --> 00:19:23,087
This is on me. I'm going to go tell
Ablin that I broke the statue.
468
00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:24,510
Too late. I already told him I did it.
469
00:19:24,628 --> 00:19:26,394
- You what?
- And as punishment, he's putting me
470
00:19:26,496 --> 00:19:27,863
on the school's recycling committee
471
00:19:27,965 --> 00:19:29,164
even though I founded the committee,
472
00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:31,099
and I'm still not sure why
he'd think that's a punishment.
473
00:19:31,168 --> 00:19:32,968
- Thank you!
- Oh.
474
00:19:33,837 --> 00:19:36,438
Mr. A, thanks,
but why'd you take the blame?
475
00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:37,739
Sometimes it's okay to break the rules,
476
00:19:37,808 --> 00:19:39,040
especially when
it's to protect your kid.
477
00:19:39,142 --> 00:19:40,709
That is what I've been saying
the whole time!
478
00:19:40,811 --> 00:19:42,521
No, you haven't been saying that at all.
479
00:19:42,579 --> 00:19:43,622
What you've been saying is,
480
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,914
your best memories
involve breaking the rules,
481
00:19:45,983 --> 00:19:47,949
and I realized my best memory does, too.
482
00:19:48,051 --> 00:19:50,285
Back when I was a TA in college,
483
00:19:50,354 --> 00:19:52,921
there was this cute, vivacious
student I really wanted to ask out,
484
00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:54,756
but it was strictly forbidden.
485
00:19:54,858 --> 00:19:57,592
So, I broke the rules,
asked her out anyway.
486
00:19:57,617 --> 00:19:58,657
Look at that.
487
00:19:58,695 --> 00:19:59,928
Without a little rule breaking,
488
00:20:00,030 --> 00:20:01,796
this family wouldn't even exist.
489
00:20:01,899 --> 00:20:03,465
Aww.
490
00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:04,866
Do you know what you're awwing about?
491
00:20:04,968 --> 00:20:06,935
No, but your dad told a long story
492
00:20:07,037 --> 00:20:08,770
and your mom didn't say
anything mean, so...
493
00:20:16,463 --> 00:20:17,785
Hey, guys.
494
00:20:17,846 --> 00:20:19,939
- So?
- How'd our boy do?
495
00:20:19,994 --> 00:20:22,323
- Franklin was amazing!
- That does it.
496
00:20:22,417 --> 00:20:24,684
We're opening a finishing school
for high-class boys.
497
00:20:24,786 --> 00:20:27,262
It actually had nothing to do
with your advice.
498
00:20:27,332 --> 00:20:28,762
I never should've listened
to you dummies.
499
00:20:28,824 --> 00:20:30,020
And this outfit is all wrong.
500
00:20:30,092 --> 00:20:32,259
You don't cover up these guns.
You show them off.
501
00:20:32,311 --> 00:20:33,358
Then what happened?
502
00:20:33,462 --> 00:20:35,228
Turns out,
Franklin doesn't need your help.
503
00:20:35,330 --> 00:20:36,897
There's tons we don't know about him.
504
00:20:36,999 --> 00:20:38,698
Did you know
he's a black belt in karate?
505
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,867
There's no way
you're a black belt in karate.
506
00:20:42,404 --> 00:20:44,571
Shut him up, Franklin.
507
00:20:54,672 --> 00:20:56,515
I learned it from watching
"Walker, Texas Ranger."
508
00:20:56,594 --> 00:20:58,805
I don't even know
what to believe anymore.
37348
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