All language subtitles for McLintock.1963.Producers.Cut.WEBRip.x264-ION10_English

♪ Love in the country

♪ Where skies are blue

♪ Boy, you'll be dreaming

♪ About the birds and the bees
And the flowers And the trees ♪

♪ Till you're up to your knees
In love ♪

♪ There's a tree house
In the meadow ♪

♪ Below the mountain peak

♪ The perfect place for lovers
When they play hide and seek ♪

♪ There's a covered bridge
At cripple creek ♪

♪ Where the horses always stop

♪ Tween the tree house
And the covered bridge ♪

♪ That's how mom won pop
By making ♪

♪ Love in the country ♪

♪ Where skies are blue

♪ Boy, you'll be
Dreaming about ♪

♪ The birds, the bees
and the flowers and the trees ♪

♪ Till you're up to your knees
In love ♪

♪ There are roses
On the trellis ♪

♪ And the scent
Of new-mown hay ♪

♪ The clinging vine is jealous
On the fence across the way ♪

♪ There's a great big
Yellow moon above ♪

♪ And a breeze
To sing a song ♪

♪ 'Tween the roses
And the yellow moon ♪

♪ A fella can't go wrong
When he makes ♪

♪ Love in the country

♪ Where skies are blue

♪ Boy, you'll be
Dreaming about ♪

♪ The birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees ♪

♪ Till you're up to your knees
In love ♪

Drago!

Lord to goodness,
not again.

Howdy, Drago.Morning, Curly.

Makes seven times this month

he come home swaggled.Only six.

Seven.

Six. Once was his birthday,
that don't count.

Give me my buggy whip.

Didn't have anything
for breakfast

but two raw eggs
and a mug of honey.

No.

Curly.

Yes, boss?

Don't say it's a fine morning,
or I'll shoot you.

Get out of here, Bunyan.

Good morning.

Morning.

Carlos, what are you doin'
up there?

I hope I get it this time,
Mr. Mclintock.

My brothers, they got
the big hats already.

All right, let 'em have at it.

Get over.DRAGO:
Ain't you gonna let me drive?

You promised me
you would sometime.

No. Yah!

Boss, you better watch
that turn on the road!

Yah! Yah!DRAGO: You're gonna kill both
of us one of these days.

Thank you, Mr. Boss!

You got cattle
in the back, boss.

Yah.

Give it up. Yah.

Yah!

Yah!Keep them goin'.

Fifteen cents a pound,
all the way to Kansas City.

Yah, Yah!

Now, boss,
there's one old pensioner

I wished you'd pass up.

Bunny?Yeah.

Wish I knew where
I'd seen his face before.

He ain't an old-timer,

he's just been around town
a couple of years.

Oh, you have no milk
of human kindness.

Morning, Mr. Mclintock.

Morning, Bunny.

Well, I can see
you're in good health.

Never felt better,
contrary to what you may hear.

Me, my kidneys ain't what they
used to be

and my liver's been
leaving me bilious.

Drago.

Hello, Ben.

Hey, Mclintock.

Drago, throw that
in the buggy.

Yes, sir.

That's a scrubby bunch
of Sooners, huh?

They are, at that.

Well, it ought to make
Douglas happy.

Lining his pockets
with land fees.

What are we gonna do?

I don't know
what you're gonna do, Ben.

Me, I do nothing.

Two Hundred families,

a quarter of beef a week
per family.

If they last two years,
that can be a sizeable number.

I've got 20 head to one

of any other brand
on the Mesa Verde.

I'm not hollering.

Some of us haven't got
all the money in the world

and some of us ain't old and--

and tired, and feel like
being put upon.

You interest me,
young Ben. Go on.

So the first time I find one
of our hides wearing our brand,

hung on one of them
settlers' fences,

I aim to kill me a plow boy.

You do what you want,
Mclintock.

We'll do what we want.

Fellows my age
generally call me G.W.

or Mclintock.

Youngsters call me
Mr. Mclintock.

All right, Mr. Mclintock.

Not because I'm afraid of you.

You're the big he-stud
of this country

and I reckon a fellow my age
should call you mister.

He's full grown now, G.W.

He's a half owner
of this spread.

I made him a full partner

the day the doc gave me
the long face.

Well, you want him
to vote the first time

this territory becomes a state,
don't you?

Of course I do.

If these settlers get
burned out,

there'll be a lot of hollerin'

that this country's too wild
to be a state.

We'll go on bein'
a territory some more

with a lot of political
appointees runnin' it

according to what they learned
in some college

where they think that cows are
something you milk,

and Indians are somethin'
in front of a cigar store.

I'm lookin' to you
to hold young Ben down.

I'll do what I can.

Come on over to the house
once in a while,

we'll rack up a few hands
of stud.

G.W., that'd be just fine.

Yah, ha!

It's a nice mornin',
ain't it, boss?

Everybody's entitled
to their own opinion.

Like that again, eh?

Here's somethin'
that'll cheer you up.

About 1,000 head, I figure
they'll bring about $12.50.

They're not as fat
as I'd like to ship.

They all off the north range?Yes, sir.

Settlers. Every one of them
with a plow and a bible,

and not the slightest idea
what the range is for.

Drago!

Drag out that Hogleg.Yes, sir.

Get me some attention.

People, people, people!

People.

Come on, all of you.
Gather round.

People, come on. Gather round.

I'm Mclintock.

You people plan to homestead
and farm the Mesa Verde.

Yes, sir.

The government give us each
hundred and sixty acres.

The government never gave
anybody anything.

Some years back,
a lot like you came in.

They had a pretty good
first year.

Good summer, easy winter.

But the next year,
the last rain was in February

and by June,
even the jackrabbits

had sense enough
to get off the Mesa.

Folks, do you know who that is?

That's Mclintock.

DOUGLAS:
George Washington Mclintock.

I told them that, Douglas.

He controls the water rights
on 200 square miles of range.

You know that lumber you got?
It came from his land,

Cut by his loggers

and milled in his mills.

Douglas, I come close
to killin' you

a couple of times
when we were younger.

Saddens me I didn't.

Can you imagine
a man who owns all that...

Oh, oh, and mines, too,
I forgot to mention them.

All that,

and he's begrudgin' poor people
a measly-- a measly

one hundred sixty acres.

That right, Mr. Mclintock?

You begrudge us
a little free land?

There's no such thing
as free land.

If you make these
homesteads go,

You'll have earned
every acre of it.

But you just can't make 'em go
on the Mesa Verde.

God made that country
for buffalo.

Serves pretty well for cattle,

but it hates the plow.

And even the government
should know

that you can't farm 6,000 feet
above sea level.

Any trouble, Mr. Mclintock?

No trouble, Jeff.

How 'bout you, Douglas?

Douglas?

Just plain Douglas, eh?

And you call him Mr. Mclintock.

Why?

Well, Douglas, I guess
it's because he earned it.

Mr. Mclintock?Yeah.

I'm a good hand with cattle,
Mr. Mclintock.

I'd like a job.

Well, you look strong enough.

You come in
with those Sooners?

Well, yes, sir, but we
don't have a homestead, and--

Can't use you.

Yah!

Tough life, ain't it, sonny?

Hell, ain't much future in bein'
a farmer around these parts.

Ladies, this is
the finest Chantilly lace

available anywhere.

Chantilly, Mr. Birnbaum.

Well, believe me, it's the best.

Oh, excuse me, please.
Look around, take your time.

Drago, I got 1,000 Havana cigars

and 12 of those hats
for you over there.

Them 12 big hats
ain't gonna last long

the way some folks
have been dippin'

into that redeye these days.

Uh-oh.

Good morning, G.W.

Good morning.
I stole some stick candy.

Please help yourself.
Come on in.

Davey,

you can forget about
saddling up the horse.

Come in here!

Problem?

Yes.

Well, if I were blacks,

I'd move the queen's bishop
to king 4.

Yeah, you might be right.

You know I was just startin'
to work this out

when the letter came.

Letter?

It was--What happened? Don't you want--

Morning, Mr. Mclintock.

Morning, Davey.

You being here saved me a trip.

Oh, that hat and suit of clothes

you picked out
for my birthday...

Well, instead of this
cowboy hat.

I'd like to have this one,

if it's, uh,
all right with you, sir.

Oh, that's all right
with me, Davey.

Of course, that looks like
the kind of a hat a fellow

would wear down main street
to start a fight.

Oh, I don't need
a city hat for that.

All I have to do is
walk down the street

and some wiseacre
will call me an Indian,

and just like that,
the fight's on.

Davey, the letter.

It's for you,
and you are an Indian.

Yes, I know I'm an Indian.

But I'm also the fastest runner
in town.

I've got a college education,

and I'm the railroad
telegrapher.

But does anybody say,

"Hello, college man,"
or, "Hello, runner"

or, "hello, telegrapher"?

No, not even, "Hello, Knothead."Davey.

It's always,

"Let the Indian do it."Will you go out in the store
and help the ladies?

All right. I'm also bookkeeper,

part-time clerk.

Always,
"Let the Indian do it."

A lady brought that out here
this morning,

asked for it to be taken out
to the home ranch for you.

Handsome lady.
Kind of tall, with red hair.

Called me Mr. Birnbaum,

just as if
she'd never seen me before

and as if that veil
that covered her face

would keep me
from recognizing her.

I thought she was in New York
or Europe, or someplace.

So did I.

Jake, you better throw in
a couple extra cases

of the boss's favorite
bourbon.

That stuff sure gets used up
fast out at our place.

Which reminds me,

you better start taperin' off.

Huh.

Katherine's in town.

Katy?

Ladies.

Morning.

Morning, Mr. Mclintock.

Morning, Mr. Mclintock.MCLINTOCK: Morning, gentlemen.

Good morning.

Good morning, Mac.Hi, Mac darling.

Fauntleroy.

Good morning, G.W.

What are you doin' in here?
Why aren't you out at the desk?

Just helpin' out the bartender.

Yeah, I see a busy day.

Give me the key to room 17.

What?

Seventeen,
and don't advertise it.

Here they come, Mr. Mclintock.

Set 'em up.

Beer.Whiskey.

Day off?

Off day.

Wonder what he's
so preoccupied about?

Haven't you heard?

No. What?

Katy's back in town.Katy?

Yes, dear. The social arbiter.

Well, hi, sonny.

Good morning, oh.

WOMAN 1:
he sure is a polite one.

Mr. Mclintock, I don't wanna
bother you--

I'm sorry, boy.
I told you, no job.

Katherine.

George Washington Mclintock.

I thought you'd want this.

First dig of the spur.

But who am I
to upset your plans?

Don't you feel kind of silly?

I never feel silly.

It's because you have
no sense of humor.

Why couldn't we sit down
in the hotel dining room

and talk about whatever it is
you wanna talk about?

Or why couldn't you
just come over to the house?

And have everybody know
that we're meeting?

Everybody knows,
and what's the difference?

We're married.

That is something
I should like to change.

You know the answer, Katy.

That isn't why you sent for me.

Let's get to the rat-killing.

Oh, that's just
the kind of remark

that's always
endeared you to me.

Let us open the discussion.

Very well.

Our daughter is coming home
in a few days.

Rather, she's coming here.

It was just a slip of the tongue
that made me refer

to this ugly hamlet as home.

Our daughter.

Is it so hard to say her name?
It's Becky.Rebecca!

I hate that name.

Anyway, she's coming home

and I hoped to persuade you
to let her live with me

part of the time in the capital,
part of the time in New York,

and of course,
Newport during the season.

You're whistling in the wind,
Katy.

If she stays here,

She'll become just as crude
and as vulgar

as all of this country.

And if she goes your way,
she'll be all show and no stay.

Oh.

No go, Kate.

I hate you.
Oh, how I hate you.

Half the people
in the world are women.

Why does it have to be you
that stirs me?

You animal.

That's the story.

I saw your picture in the paper
at the Governor's ball.

You were dancing
with the governor.

At least, he's a gentleman.

I doubt that.

You have to be a man first
before you're a gentleman.

He misses on both counts.

Hey, sonny.
You gonna ask him again?

Nope.

Hey, boy, you gotta
pocket your pride,

You gotta beg.

You better listen
to an expert, sonny.

I'm tellin' you,
you've got to grovel.

Human nature,
gets him every time.

Mister, leave me alone.

Everybody does it,
one way or another.

About that job,
Mr. Mclintock.

I already told you, son.
I've got no need for farmers,

or use for 'em.

Just one minute, Mr. Mclintock.

My father died last month.

That's how come
we lost our homestead.

I've got a mother
and a little sister to feed.

I need that job badly.

What's your name?

Devlin Warren.

Well, you've got a job, son.

See my home ranch foreman,
he's over at the corral.

Step down
off of that carriage, mister.

Hold that Hogleg!

I've been punched
many a time in my life,

but never for hiring anybody.

I-- I don't know what to say.

I never begged before.
Turned my stomach.

I suppose I should have been
grateful you gave me the job.

Gave?

Boy, you got it all wrong.

I don't give jobs. I hire men.

You intend to give this man
a full day's work,

don't you, boy?

You mean you're still hiring me,
Mr. Mclintock?

Well, yes, sir. I mean,
I'll certainly deliver
a fair day's work.

For that I'll pay you
a fair day's wage.

You won't give me anything,
and I won't give you anything.

We both hold up our heads.

Where do you live?

The settlers' encampment,
down by the mine.

That's your plug?DEVLIN: Yes, sir.

Well, hop on him,
and we'll go get your gear.

Yah. Yah.

Morning, Mr. Mclintock.

Morning, Mr. Pourboire.

I'm sure that
all you fine people

are interested in knowing

just what, uh, portion
of this new land

will be your new home.

Oh, uh, uh, uh,
Jones and Mcallister,

since you've been more or less
the leaders of our group,

I'd like to have you come up
and check the exact location.

Won't be a minute, sir.

Go after that boy
and give him $30.

Tell him Mclintock pays
his riders a month in advance.

From the looks of things,
they can sure use it, too.

Oh, Mom, it's Mr. Drago.

Morning.

Well, and to what do we owe this
visit from the cattle baron?

I've got a touch of hangover,
bureaucrat, don't push me.

Oh, ho, Mclin.

Say, those are Indians.

Are there Indians
in this homestead land?

Friendly Indians, my boy.

Oh-ho, Mclin.

Oh, Running Buffalo.

Oh, Mclin, long time
we no get drunk together.

And it's gonna be
a lot longer time,

'cause it's against the law,
and you're with the sheriff.

And have I got my hands full.

They came into town
to meet the train.

The old Indian chiefs
are comin' home.

I heard they'd been pardoned.

They don't know
when it's arrivin'.

This week, next week,
or next month.

So in the meantime, I've got
to do somethin' with 'em.

Could I cut out a couple of head
of your steers to feed them?

Otherwise, some of these
settlers' milk cows
are gonna disappear.

That's right, Mclin.

Cut out whatever you need.

Sheriff, are you gonna
camp these savages

with all these settlers?

You're asking for trouble.

Mr. Douglas, I already have
plenty of trouble.

Please stay off of my back.

Runnin' Buffalo,

bring your people
over to the clay slide.

Hello, Mr. Mclin.

Tiny Mouth,
it's nice to see you.

You wouldn't believe it now,
but, 20 years ago,

she was a mighty handsome maid.

Twenty years ago, you thought so
too, Mr. Douglas.

It was just like this.
I had a dead bead
on old Running Buffalo

and my sharp .50 caliber
misfired.

That was back in that trouble
in the '40s, remember?

I remember.Eh.

You wanna taste somethin'
that come directly from heaven?

No.

Where'd you get this?
That boy's mama baked 'em.

You thinkin'
the same thing I am?

She's a widow woman, boss,

and she's got a long,
hard row to hoe.

Hire her.

I always said
you had a heap of sense.

Mr. Mclintock,
this is my mother.

Your mother?

And my sister.

Pleased to meet you,
Mr. Mclintock.

Ma'am, this here's my boss

and he has a few choice words
to say about your biscuits.

Yes, Mr. Mclintock?

Well...

they're great.

Well, you old
Cantonese reprobate,
how 'bout it?

You fire me, I kill myself.

I'm not talkin' about
firin' you, I'm retirin' you.

You've been rustlin' food for us
for 30 years.

We're gonna put you out
to pasture,

all you'll have to do
is give advice,

be one of the family.

I kill myself.

I may save you the trouble.

Look, Ching.

If you kill yourself,
I'll cut off your pigtail,

and you ain't never
gonna get to heaven.

I'll be one of the family?

I give you my solemn word.

Pretty crummy family.

Drink too much,

get in fights,
yell all the time.

Cut off his pigtail.

All right, all right,
I'll be one of the family.

Oh, I hope everything
is satisfactory.

This is such a big house.

It'll take me a while
to get used to things.

Now, please don't hesitate to
tell me if anything is wrong.

No bird's-nest soup.

Otherwise, just fine.

Everything all nicely.Food's heaven, ma'am.

Best apple pie I ever ate.

Curly's right, ma'am.
Hated to leave that last bite.

Shall we celebrate with a drink?

Carlos, come and help me
with the dishes.

Alice,
do you wanna help, too?

Yes, Drago.

All right, pitch in.

Now, I'll wash,
and you kids can dry.

Is that good? Here.

Don't seem possible one woman
could use all of them clothes.

You keep a civil tongue
in your unprepossessing face.Yes, ma'am.

And unload my baggage,
please.Yes, ma'am.

By the way, what does that word,
"unprepossessing," mean?

Mrs. Mclintock.Oh, hello, Carlos.

Run and help the driver
with my luggage.

I couldn't trust anyone else
in this house to do anything
correctly.

Luggage?
Give him a hand, Curly.

Yes, boss.

Mr. Mclintock.

Are you moving back in?Yes!

But nothing has changed
except my place of residence.

And I'd be willing
to put up with savages

rather than be denied
the company of my daughter.

And I'm proving that
by moving in here.

Mr. Mclintock,
since it's my first day,

would you excuse me if I...

Go ahead.

Oh, Katherine,
this is, uh, Dev Warren.

He joined the outfit today.

Pleased, ma'am.

Thank you.

Well, how refreshing.

A polite young man here.

Where did he come from?He's a farmer.

A farmer?Well, I'll be doggone.

Kate, welcome home.

What on earth are you doing
in that idiotic-looking outfit?

And don't you dare call me Kate.

That here my butlering suit.
I'm butlering for the boss.

And I'm sorry, Katherine.

That "Kate" kinda slipped out
from the times

I remembered you
as being nice p-people.

Oh!

Are you going to stand there

with that stupid look
on your face

while the hired help
insults your wife?

He's just ignorant.

He doesn't know any better
than to tell the truth.

And I can't help
this stupid look.

I started acquiring it as you
gained in social prominence.

Mrs. Mclintock, where do you
want I should...

What?Put 'em in the master bedroom.

Yes.

But move Mr. Mclintock's things
into another room.

The one back of the stairs
would be best,

so that he can't wake up
the entire household

when he comes home
every night...Here's the--

...just before daybreak.

Yes, ma'am.

MRS. WARREN: Oh, excuse me.

Here's your cigars,
Mr. Mclintock.

I am Mrs. Mclintock.

Kate, I mean, Katherine,
this is the cook.

Uh. This is the lady
does the cookin' for us.

Mrs. Warren, Mrs. Mclintock.

How do you do?

Very pleased to meet you,
Mrs. Mclintock.

Very pleased.Likewise.

MRS. WARREN: You see, I just
came to work here today,

and I guess I jumped
to the conclusion

that this was
a bachelor's household.

It is, and then again,
it isn't.

I will explain so everything
will be quite clear,
Mrs. Wallace.

Mrs. Warren.Mrs. Warren.

Mrs. Warren.

It has been
a bachelor's household
for quite some time.

And will be again, just as soon
as I'm out of here.

Which will be as quickly
as I can make arrangements

to take my daughter
back east with me.

You see, she's coming home
from school in a few days

and then we'll be off together,

and you can return
to conducting yourself

as you consider proper
in a bachelor's household.

Katy.Shut up.

Until then, I am mistress
in this house.

And I will give the orders.

I'll want my breakfast
served in bed.Gonna let her...

Ain't you gonna say nothing?No.

KATHERINE:
...one poached egg, tea, toast.

Oh, G.W., as soon as
my things are put away,

I'll want to talk to you
about Rebecca.

Yes, Mrs. Mclintock.
Indeed, Mrs. Mclintock.

Of course, Mrs. Mclintock.

The toast, lightly browned
and unbuttered.

Of course, ma'am.

Wait a minute, now, boss.
Where do you think you're going?

I just remembered,
I got a date.

But she said she wanted
to have a talk with you.

I heard.

Good evening, Lem.

Good evening, Mr. Mac.

Say, Mr. Mac, what does
unprepossessing mean?

I was called that once,
Lem.

Looked it up
in the dictionary.

It's best you don't know
what it means.

Uh-huh. Thank you.

Hey,

what am I gonna tell her
when she asks where you went?

When in doubt, tell the truth.

She wouldn't expect
that from you anyway.

Where's Mr. Mclintock goin'?

There he goes,
burnin' his last bridge.

You see a yellow streak
about a foot wide

runnin' up and down
his backbone?

On Mr. Mclintock?

He ain't afraid of nothin'.

I once thought that.

Drago?Yes, ma'am.

Was that, uh...He took off, lit out.

I told him
I wanted to talk to him.

Yes, ma'am. I was standing'
right over here when you said it

and I was standin' right out
there on those front steps

when he walked up the horse,
grabbed a hunk of mane,

stepped up on him and sunk spur.

Where did he go?

Last time I saw him, he was
goin' east, but you know him

he's liable to go north,
south, or west.

Get me a carriage.

Yes, ma'am, but...

But what?

Maybe you shouldn't follow
him into--

Maybe, where he's goin' into.

What does that mean?

I don't know,
but I wish I hadn't said it.

Uh, just get the carriage.

Yes, ma'am.

What happened?

Get the Barouche.The Barouche?

Hitch it up,
she wants to go to town.

But Mr. Mclintock never said
anything to me about it.

Look, young fellow. I'm the...

I'm the ramrod
around this place.

You better start
giving me a "yes, sir"

or you gonna get the roof
of this house pulled down
on your head.

Yes, sir.

Hello, Davey!

Hi, Mr. Mclintock.

New broom, eh?

Sweeps clean.

Hello, Bunny, how is everything?

Oh, fine, fine, Mr. Mclintock.

I'll get you next time.

Two more, Elmer.

Comin' up.

Well, look who's here.

What'll it be, Mac?
Same as usual?

Ladies.

Evening, G.W.

Jake.

Wrong move.What?

Chess problem.
Queen's in danger.

Ho, ho, ho.

That's right,
that hitching rail.

I suppose you can do that.

Camille, you're on your own.

Mrs. Mclintock.

Oh.

Uh. I'm Camille,
Camille Reedbottom.

I'm, uh, learning
the game of chess.

Thought it would give me
something to pass the time.

See, I have nothing
to do all day long.

I just remembered somethin'.

Katherine,
I didn't hear you come in.

Mr. Mclintock, I told you that
I wanted to talk to you.

Not now.

Could I get you a glass
of sherry, Katherine?

Oh, thank you, Mr. Birnbaum,
I could use one.

I came into town
behind a runaway team.

Drago never could
handle horses.

It was that young man whose
mother pretends to be your cook.

Katherine, your wine.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Birnbaum.

Now, Mr. Mclintock, we have
an awful lot to talk over.

First thing I learned about
Indian fighting was to wait
for daylight.

What does our conversation
got to do with Indian fighting?

Indian fighting
is good experience

for our kind of conversations.

Oh!It'll wait, Katherine.

Evening, Sheriff, Mr. Mclintock.

We had quite a ride out here.Oh.

Oh, I finally got that
team settled down.

It's your move.

No, it's your move.
I just cancelled.

Oh.Now, look here.

You're not gonna sit here
all night long and play chess

when the matter of our daughter
remains unsettled.

I am gonna remain here
and play chess,

and the matter of our daughter
is settled. She stays.

Oh! Such stubbornness.

Katherine, your hair.

Oh.

Uh. It is a mess
after that awful ride.

No, no, it's just that
I haven't seen you
for a long time

and it seems to me,
the last time I saw you,

your hair was a little darker,
no?

It's a funny thing,

the tricks a man's memory
will play, huh?

Mr. Birnbaum,

I think that you've
completely lost your mind.

You have done
something to your hair.

I have not!

If I had, it'd be none
of your business.

Certainly not gonna put myself

in the place
of those blondine trollops

that you seem to prefer.

Take it.Oh.

Fill it.Oh.

Good morning.

You fellows still at it?
All night?

A Mclintock never quits.

But a Birnbaum has to.

Besides, the game is over.
You got me.

Oh, no, Mr. Birnbaum,
you still got a good game.

Oh, you play chess?Yeah.

Please, take over.

Pretty good?Fair.

Well, it looks like I won't have
to come into town always

to get a game.

Remember, I'm a bad loser.

It's your move.DEVLIN: Yes, sir.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Oh, it's-- it's morning already.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.Cup of coffee?

Oh, yes, thanks, Jake.

You're welcome, Katherine.

Got any cream?

Canned cows' milk.

That'll do.

Good old condensed milk.

That reminds me,

I was cleaning out my desk
the other day,

and I found something
I wanted to return to you.

Here it is.

It's a medal, remember?

From the president
of the United States Of America

to first sergeant
Michael Patrick Gilhooly,

for bravery above and beyond
the call of duty.

It's your papa.

Reminds me of the first time
I ever saw you.

It was over 17 years ago.

You walked into my store,

not much bigger than the bundle
you were carrying.

And in the bundle was the most
beautiful baby I ever saw.

And was she hungry.

You walked all the way
from superstition creek

just to trade me that medal
for a case of canned milk.

G.W. was off somewhere,
as usual,

fighting Indians.

Sheriff, Sheriff Lord!

What?Have you seen the sheriff?

Kind of early for him.
Did you try his house?

AGARD:
Why didn't I think of that?

DOUGLAS:
Looks like Birnbaum's is open.

Maybe somebody in here
will know.

So there you are, Sheriff.

I told you,
you were headed for trouble.

Trouble?I wanna know by whose authority

you let those Indians
stay in town.

Those savages are wards
of the government,

and I am the representative--I told Sheriff Lord

that he could put 'em up
down by the clay slide.

Because the town's named
after him, he thinks he owns it.

Well, you check the books
in the recorder's office

and you'll find I do own
a fair piece of it.

Agard, if you knew
anything about Indians,

You'd know that they're doing
their level best

to put up with our so-called
"benevolent patronage,"

In spite of the nincompoops

that have been put in charge
of it.

Those Indians need my permission
to leave the reservation.

Those chiefs have been
giving orders all their lives.

It's pretty hard
for them to understand

that they have to hold up
their hand

like a schoolboy in a classroom.

The law is very clear.

I told you you'd get
no satisfaction
from these people.

We'll get the girl back.Girl?

The girl the Indians kidnapped,
but don't worry.

I armed the settlers
and set them

to rounding up those red devils.

What is this about a girl?

Millie Jones. One of
the settler's daughters.

The Indians kidnapped her.

That's ridiculous.

And you turned loose a lot
of farmers with shotguns?

I certainly did.

You're insane.
Let's go, Sheriff.

Mr. Douglas.

Oh, Mrs. Mclintock.

Much as I hate to agree
with G.W. about anything,

you haven't changed a bit.
You're still an hysterical fool.

Comin' to town,
I got worried.

What about?I thought maybe Katy shot you.

Not yet, Drago,
but it took restraint.

Wait a minute, we better take
Agard along,

not that he'll be much help.

Drago, help him on the horse.

Just a minute.

I'll drive.Yes, ma'am.

DOUGLAS:
Agard, what are you doing?
Scratch him, Agard!

Agard, this is serious.
Stay with him, Agard.

Stay with him!

Agard, will you stop showing off
and get in this buggy?

Uh, mercy.

Mercy.

That horse is a little green.

Let's go. Yah.

Just where do you think
you're going?

Don't use that range-boss
tone of voice with me.

Potter!

Headed for Mr. Pourboire's mine.

Mount up some riders.

Right, boss. You heard the man.

I don't like it, Mr. Mclintock.

I don't like it one bit.

What don't you like?

They're planning
to hang an Indian.

Sheriff, real funny.
Where's the whiskey?

Hold it.

No so fast,
Mr. Boss-of-the-whole-country,

unless you wanna wear a big hole
in your middle.

How long is G.W. gonna let that
chee-chalker push him around?

That chee-chalker
has a sawed-off shotgun.

How do you know she
didn't wander off someplace,

or meet some fellow
or something?What are you sayin'?

That I didn't raise
my girl right?

That she'd wander off all night
with some man?

There's a lot of things
I'm not saying to you, mister

while you've got a sawed-off
shotgun in my middle.

But how do you know this Indian
had anything to do with it?

She's gone, ain't she?
She's gone.

Pa.

Pa, I'm over here.

Pa!

Been looking for me, Pa?

Where you been, girl?

Young Ben took me
for a sunrise ride,

and the horse wandered away.

You come down off of there.But, Pa.

She's telling the truth,
Mr. Mclintock.

We weren't doin' nothin'.

Well, that's not important
right now.

The important thing is that
you don't draw that Hogleg

or this'll be worse than
dodge city

on Saturday night.MILLIE: But Papa.

You get on back to the wagon

I'll attend to you later.

Now for this young
whippersnapper.

Now, no harm has been done

and young Ben here is one
of the nicest boys
in the territory,

so just put down that shotgun.I'll teach him to fool
with my...

Now, we'll all
calm down.

Boss, he's just
a little excited.I know, I know.

I'm gonna use good judgment.

I haven't lost
my temper in 40 years.

But, pilgrim, you caused
a lot of trouble this morning.

Might have got somebody killed

and somebody ought to belt you
in the mouth,

but I won't. I won't.

The hell I won't.

Mclintock riders!

Ha-ha.

Oh, Mclin.

Buster, remember me?

Hello, sir. Nice party.

Do you think you ought to?

I ought to what?

Why, you fink!

Hey, wait,
I wanna word with you.

Hey, just a minute.

What-- what are you gonna do--
My glasses.

Now, stop this
or you'll be sorry.

Oh, for heaven's sake!

Stay out of this, Jake.

It's everybody's war!

Where's the whiskey?

Where's the whiskey?

Good fight. Good fight.

Oh, sorry, Mclintock.

Oh-ho, Mclin.Thanks.

Oh-ho, very funny.

Yeah, very funny.

Ma'am.

Gosh, Mr. Douglas,
I'm sorry!

Bon voyage, Drago!

Are you still down here?

Sage,

horse wandered away, huh?

Honest, Mr. Jones, honest.

Oh, get out of my way.

Nice left.Thanks.

But I went to college.

For this you don't need college.

You're not gettin' me
down there.

Oh!

Oh! You did this on purpose.

Oh! Why, Mclintock, you big...

Good morning to you,
Mrs. Mclintock.

Bunny, you big...

Oh, no!

G.W., because of you
this great, big, clumsy...

Well, it's pretty hard
to control yourself.

People, people!

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Mclin! Oh! Mclin!

Good party, but no whiskey.

We go home.

You and your friends!

Well, we at least
saved your hat.

Oh!

Where is everybody?

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

Whoa, whoa.

Drago, will you
never learn how to handle
a team?

DRAGO:
Yes, ma'am, I'll sure try.

I'll tell you that, now.

Crummy family.You wanna lose your pigtail?

I lose face.

Lousy relatives.You're gonna lose
more than that.

Kate.Yes?

We could be a big help
to one another.

Like what, may I ask?

Well, we could wash the mud off
of each other.

We used to have quite good times
doing that sort of thing.

There are a lot of things
we used to do.

Good night, Mr. Mclintock.

Any luck?

What are you talkin' about?

I mean, divorce.
She still want it?

Yeah.

You know somethin'?
Women are funny.

She fought like a wildcat
on your side out there
this afternoon.

Come home, she slams the door
in your face.

That divorce business,

is that what you get when
you pay a woman not to live
with you?

That's about it.

With some women I've knowed,
it'd be worth it.

You know, if we had
any moral character,

we wouldn't be standin' here
covered with mud, drinking,

when we should be washing.

G.W.

Drago.

Mrs. Warren, these biscuits,
mm...

Why, thank you, Drago.

Morning, Mrs. Warren.

MRS. WARREN:
Good morning, Mr. Mclintock.

Breakfast for the boss?

MRS. WARREN: If that's the way
you want it, Mr. Mclintock.

One poached egg, tea,
toast, lightly browned, and...

Why, Mrs. Mclintock,
you have a black eye.

I do? Oh.

Oh.

Oh. And Becky's
coming home today.

And that's not all.

There's a little something
we'd better get settled.

There are no men listening now,
so we can be ourselves.

Oh, sure, I let you get away

with all that guff
the other night,

but now that we're alone...

When I want the opinion
of the hired help,

I'll ask for it.

You know, you could wind up
with two black eyes.

What?Oh,

I realize you had
to put on that big act.

We always have to just before
we get ready to forgive them,

generally for something
they haven't done.

But you and I both know

that's just to keep them
from getting the idea

they, uh, run things.

Mclintock give you
that black eye?

No.

Nobody gave it to me.
I won it.

MR. BEECH: Morning, Davey.

Morning, Mrs. Beech, Mr. Beech.

Why, miss Becky,

Welcome home.Hello, Mr. Douglas.

Hi, Betty, how are you?Hi, boy.

Good to see you again.

Daddy!

Oh, Daddy!MCLINTOCK: My daughter!

It's been two long years.

I guess I'm gonna have to stop
calling you tomboy.

Becky.

Mama, oh, Mama, Oh, darling!

I wasn't sure you'd be here.Oh, I've been here a few days.

Becky, I bought you three
of the most beautiful dresses--Becky.

Uncle Drago. Oh.

Did you bring your old uncle
a coming-home present?

Sure did.What is it?

A mustache cup.Oh.

And what did you get me?

The prettiest palomino pony
that ever packed a saddle.

Broke to stand ground-tied
in the county.

Oh.

Uncle Jake!

What are you doing
with Mr. Douglas's tuba?

Oh, Mr. Douglas has a fat--

Had a little accident.

I brought you a whole shipment
of licorice sticks.

But now that I've seen
how much you've grown,

I think we better exchange them

for a couple of bolts
of dress goods, huh?

Thank you.

Oh, the mayor was gonna be here,

but he had to go up to
the territorial capital
on a horse-theft matter.

But I'm gonna give his speech.

And don't worry about the mayor.

I'm sure that he can find a bill
of sale for the horse.

"Ladies and gentlemen,

we are here
to welcome the fairest..."

What am I doing?

We are here to welcome back

the prettiest girl that was
ever born in Mclintock,

or in any part of the territory.

Hey, Davey.Yeah?

Got something for you.

Yard master up at junction
told me to let 'em hide,

so I locked 'em in here.

I've had my scalp a long time

and I aim to keep it.

And now she's come back to us.
Gone are the pigtails,

but the freckles are
still on the prettiest face

that was ever born in Mclintock.

Hey, that's Puma.

Then it's true, the government
did turn them loose.

Good old Puma.

I'll never forget
when he brought G.W. home.

Your father had
a hole in his chest,

and a 104 fever.

Of course, they weren't very
mannerly about it.

He came past the house
at a high lope...

and threw him on the doorstep.

Then you do remember them
good old days, don't you, Katy?

Katherine.

Yatahe, my friends.

Yatahe.

Puma, honored enemy.

Does big Mclintock forget?
Also blood brother.

No, I'll never forget that.

Old wound. Does it hurt still?

I feel it when it comes
on to rain.

An inch higher and I
wouldn't have had to worry.

Ah, big Mclintock,
that was remembered fight.

We return with news.

Our people have more trouble.

You see, I learned good English
now, big Mclintock.

Learned in white man's jail.

But we would have you talk
our cause at government hearing.

I understand that
Governor Humphrey

is gonna preside
at that meeting.

Yes, Puma,
I'll translate your wishes.

Mr. Mclintock,

could I impose on you to use
your Comanche

to tell these people--
Puma is chief of the Comanches

and he speaks English very well.

Oh, well.

Your people will have to follow
my instructions to the letter.

It is the law--We go.

Well, now, just a minute.

Well, for heaven's sakes.

You wait here, honey,
I'll get the buggy.

You going to
the Mclintock party?

Sure.

Will I see you there, Beth?

Of course, Davey, and you can
have the first dance.

Sis.

I don't want any sister of mine
talking to strangers.

Davey's not a stranger,
he clerks in Birnbaum's.

He's an Indian.

Darn you, Drago.

Now look what you've done.

Baby, this is Devlin Warren,
he works for your papa.

Dev,
this is miss Becky Mclintock.

Those are my things.

Yes, ma'am.

I-- I'd have known you anywhere,
Miss Becky.

What do you mean?

Oh, I mean, you look so much
like your mother.
Well, even prettier.

Well, Mr. Warren, mother's
much prettier than I am.

Many a fight started
with words like that.

Come on, get in the buggy.Hello, Ching.

We've got cherry pie
for dinner?

I'm not cooking.

No, he's not.

Junior.

Yes, Miss Becky?

You remember
Junior Douglas, Mama?

Oh, of course. How's college?

Valedictorian, '95.
Oh, congratulations.

Oh, Mr. And Mrs. Douglas,
we will see you at the party,
of course.

Oh, delighted.

Well, it'll be pretty hard
to keep young men away.

Yes, sir.Drago?

DRAGO:
Yes, boss. Baggage all loaded.

G.W. You remember young Junior?

Oh, yes. Like father, like son.

JUNIOR:
Oh, uh, Mr. Mclintock,

I hope you don't think
I'm being presumptuous

in asking for the honor
of calling on Miss Rebecca.

Well, there she is,
ask her yourself.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Ching, now I'm gonna get fired.
Giddy up out of here.

JUNIOR:
Thank you sir, thank you.

KATHERINE:
Have you no manners?

REBECCA:
See you at the party, Junior.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, what?

Like father, like son.

What did he mean, Matthew?

Come on, Ching,
grab a root and growl.

Well, you're doing
a good job, Miss Mclintock.

Thank you, Mrs. Warren.

Dev, when you're finished there,

go over and help Drago
with the beer kegs.

Yes, Mom.

Uh, Dev, could you come
and help me a minute?

I certainly was surprised
to hear you went to college.

Why?

I don't know.

Junior says Purdue is
a good college

for a backwater place
like Indiana.

Well, he did indeed?

Oh, could you do this?
I can't reach it.

Why didn't you finish college?

Lack of funds.

My father got sick,
and he had to come out west.

So he took out a homestead.

REBECCA:
You know, your mom's sure cute.

It's, uh, too bad
you didn't inherit her eyes.

Well, you'd have been lucky
if you'd inherited

a few things from your father.

Oh, really? For instance?

His common sense, for instance.

Common sense?

Yeah, you don't see him
being fooled

by some dude
like Junior Douglas.

Junior's not a dude. He's nifty.

This needs a woman's touch.

And besides,
he got a letter at college.

What sport?

Glee club.

Very strenuous.

Oh.

Don't you dare hug me!

Oh!I have no intention
of hugging you.

The ladies all look lovely,
Katherine.

You know, this is
a real fine party.

Oh, thank you, Ben.

Of course, we had to
invite everybody.

Just everybody.

Sorry, G.W., this one's mine.

Well, thank you, Mrs. Warren.

I guess I'll have to be
a good host in my own home.

Well, the next one's yours,
Mr. Mclintock.

Thank you.

Drago, go and do
what I told you to do.

Oh, Katy.

Katherine.
And do as you're told.

Oh, "Drago, do this.
Drago, do that."

People, people, people!

This Douglas fellow...KATHERINE: Drago!

Yes, ma'am.

Matt Douglas, Jr.

is going to bring you folks

some of the latest
terpsichorean dance steps,

brand new, brought by him
directly from New York City.

All right, Mr. Fiddler.

Give me a whiskey.

What?This turn
a 10-gallon party, boss.

We're run out of whiskey.

Oh, I can take care
of that, Ching.

Indian!

Now, you still got any ideas
about asking my sister to dance,

get up and we can do this
all over again.

Yes.

That's enough,
you've fought it--

It's all over--Quit butting in, Birnbaum.

He's a hired man, not your son.

Look, you fought him
fair and square.

I don't think it was
so fair and square.

What, you want to take up
where he left off?

If I did, you wouldn't
find it so easy.

JAKE:
Now, we've had enough of this.

When are you gonna quit
walkin' away?

Just as soon as we're
out of sight of the party.

A lesson I learned back home.
Don't fight in front of women.

Well, we're out of sight now.

So we are.

Such vulgarity.

Someone should do something
about it.

You're right.

Absolutely right.

You all right, young Ben?

I'm all right, Mr. Mclintock.

Pretty fancy fighting
for a country boy.

Two years at Purdue,
Mr. Mclintock,
on the boxing team.

I never thought any farmer
could whip me.

But you sure did.

Better get him cleaned up,
get him some water, Jake.

Yeah.

Get yourself cleaned up,
go ask that girl for a dance.

Who?

Oh!

Did I miss one?

FAUNTLEROY:
Where is he? I'll fight him,
that whippersnapper.

Trouble.FAUNTLEROY:
Where is that farmer boy?

Where is he?
Where is he, G.W.?

Oh, so you're the young
farmer boy that whipped
my nephew.

Well, I'm Fauntleroy Sage,
Young Ben's uncle.

Well, I'm no farmer, but if
you're young Ben's uncle,

yes, I whipped him.
And you're intruding.

What's intrudin' mean?
Buttin' in.

Oh, so he's insultin' me.

Well, then I got another reason
for walloping him

besides on account of him
thrashing my nephew, Young Ben.

Fauntleroy, you can't get
mixed up in these
youngsters' quarrel.

Family honor.

I can't have it said
a farmer whipped a Sage.

You're twice his size.

Don't let that bother you,
Mr. Mclintock.

If Mr. Fauntleroy insists,
I'll just have to teach him
the same lesson.

Say!

Sorry, young fellow.

Hate to have to
do that, young fellow.

No hard feelings.

Not yet.

Not yet what?

I mean, that isn't all.

Now, wait a minute.

Fauntleroy, we're gonna make
this a fair fight.

Of course we are.
Of course we are, G.W.

There'll be none of this.

I wouldn't do that, G.W.

You wouldn't do...

I wouldn't do that.

And Dev, I don't want you kickin
Fauntleroy in the knees.

He didn't do no such thing.

And none of this
nose twistin'.

He's all yours.

AGARD:
W-- w-- where are my glasses?

You all right, young fellow?

Ouch!

I'm all right
if this Indian agent

will stop steppin' all over me.

I beg your pardon.
G.W., you're just funnin' me.

But I want you to know that boy
fought me a fair fight.

Well, I'm glad
to hear that, Fauntleroy.

Where's my uncle?

Fauntleroy,
what have you been doin'?

I hope my uncle
didn't bother anybody.

No bother.

I think we'd better
join the ladies

before they get curious. Drago.

Fauntleroy, let's line them
all up for a do-si-do.

Jake.

You think tincture
of Arnica would help?

Could be. Used to help you.

Gentlemen,
to the medicine cabinet.

Good morning, Drago.Morning, baby.

Have you seen Daddy?

Took off this mornin'
with a scattergun over his arm.

Went huntin'.Oh.

Morning, Daddy.

Good afternoon.

What got you out so early?

There's something I have to
get straight in my mind.

Yeah?

What?

Mama.

Why did you and Mama
stop living together, Daddy?

Why did you separate?

Aren't you gonna answer me?

No.

It's sort of my business,
I think.

I don't.

Is it another woman?
It usually is.

At your age,
you always know what's usual.

Is it Mrs. Warren?

Becky, I don't wanna start
laying the law down

on your first day back home,

But I'll have no more
such talk.

The first time I ever saw
Mrs. Warren was last week.

She has a job here
at which she's very good.

And I hope you'll have
the good manners

to not pry into other
people's business...

Your mother's and mine.

Pretty good shot, Daddy.

Oh, I can understand
your trouble.

Mama's often so,
well, so petulant.

Petulant?

You've learned a lot of words
back east, Becky.

I wish to god they'd have
taught you some meanings.

You were only
about six months old

when your mother
stayed alone with you

in a sod hut
under eight foot of snow...

while I moved the herd 300 miles
south to try and save it.

Saved about half of it.

You were a little more
than a year old

at the time
of the great Comanche raids.

We stood off 500 plains Indians
for nine days.

Petulant, Becky?

I think you'd
better go on home.

See that Ching gets those birds.

Becky.

Come here.

There's somethin'
I ought to tell you.

Guess now is
as good a time as any.

You're going to
have every young buck

West of the Missouri
around here

tryin' to marry you.

Mostly because you're
a handsome filly.

But partly because I own
everything in this country

from here to there,

and they'll think
you're going to inherit it.

Well, you're not.

I'm going to leave
most of it to...

Well, to the nation, really.
For a park...

where no lumberman
will cut down all the trees

for houses with leaky roofs.

Nobody will kill all the beaver
for hats for dudes,

nor murder the buffalo
for robes.

What I'm going to give you

is a 500-cow spread
on the upper green river.

Now that may not seem
like much,

but it's more than we had,
your mother and I.

Some folks are gonna say
I'm doing all this...

so I can sit up in the hereafter

and look down on a park
named after me,

or that I was
disappointed in you

and didn't want you
to get all that money.

But the real reason, Becky,
is because I love you

and I want you and some
young man to have what I had.

Because all the gold
in the United States treasury...

all the harp music in heaven,

can't equal what happens
between a man and a woman

with all that growin' together.

I can't explain it
any better than that.

All right, Daddy.

Becky.

When you're as old as I am,
you'll thank me for this.

Daddy, I'm full grown.

I wasn't worrying about me,

I was thinkin'
about you and Mama.

Oh.

Well, sir, all three of them
fell right out of the carriage.

Well, it is getting rather late,
Becky, it's bedtime.

Oh, Mother.Mm-hmm?

He brought this, he must have
intended to use it.

Oh, well...Sing us a song.

Well, if you really want me to.

Gosh, I haven't played in--

Do you know
"Just Right For Me"?

Sure.

It's the rage now.Oh.

Oh.

Dev, what're you doing?

Oh.

I, uh...

I just thought
I'd get another cigar.

Well, you've got one
in your mouth, and two
burning in the tray.

And that move.

The fellows want me
to play all the time.

♪ You're cuter than
A baby steer ♪

♪ And softer than
A mouse's ear ♪

♪ I want the whole wide world
To hear ♪

♪ You're just right for me

♪ You're sweeter than--

Oh, no. Not that rhythm, Junior,
do it the way they do it
in the plaza.

I know the words.

Sure, Becky.
Will you sing with me?

Of course.All right.

♪ I love a man who's witty
And smart, and clever ♪

It's your move.Oh.

♪ ...My heart forever
Rain or shine... ♪

Oh, Dev, you're playing
like an amateur.

Let's call it an evening.

I'd like to know where your mind
is tonight.

♪ You're sweeter than
The early spring ♪

♪ Or bluebells when they start

Pretty good,
voice like her father.

BOTH:
♪ You're just right for me

♪ Sweeter than honey
Finer than wine ♪

♪ I'm sure they found you
On that honeysuckle vine ♪

JUNIOR:
♪ I would melt in your embrace

♪ You'd disappear
Without a trace ♪

♪ To die like this
Is no disgrace ♪

♪ This is the time

BOTH:
♪ This is the place for you're

♪ Just right for me

Well...

it's so good, I kind of
hate to break this up.

But if we're gonna have
that Indian hearing
tomorrow morning...

Uh, sir, about our conversation
earlier this evening,

uh, I believe
I'd better apologize.

Yeah?

Yes, sir,
I've been thinking it over,

and when I called you
a reactionary,

well, that's merely
my generation's term
for your generation.

Nothing personal, sir.

Oh, really?

Well, uh, good night, sir.

Good night, Mrs. Mclintock.

Good night, and do come again.

Good night, Drago.

Night.

Boss, what's "reactionary" mean?

Me, I guess.

He says that anyone who wanted
to sell at a profit

was a reactionary.

Was we reactionaries
back in them days

when you were selling
beef cattle for six cents
a pound on the hoof?

Well, no use arguing with him.
College boy.

Devlin Warren,
if you was my kind of man,

you wouldn't let some dude
walk off with the prettiest girl

west of Denver without
putting up some kind of a fight.

Does it show?
But what can I do?

I'm just one
of her father's employees.

I'm just a hired hand
around here.

Every so often, Dev,

you spill the strangest ideas.

Everybody works for somebody.

Me, I work for everybody
in these United States

that steps into a butcher's shop
for a T-bone steak.

And you work for me.

There's not much difference.

Daddy, the most terrible thing
just happened.

Junior's horse ran away, the one
he rented at the livery stable.

You tied up a rented horse
by the reins?

He's probably back
in the stall by now.

I think we can get Junior
something that he can ride.

What I'd rather do, Daddy,
is drive junior home
in our Barouche.

It's a lovely evening,
and I'm sure uncle Drago

wouldn't mind driving.

I would, and I got the kind
of manners don't keep me

from saying so,
just to be polite.

I'll drive him home,
Mr. Mclintock.

You don't have to come,
Miss Becky.

I'll see that he
gets home safely.

I can take care of myself.

You got yourself afoot,
didn't you?

Dev, get the carriage.
Drago.

I'm going with them.

Now you got me
wrangling dudes.

♪ You make a man feel
Like a king ♪

BOTH:
♪ You're just right for me

Miss Becky? Somebody
better help me watch the road.

You know, I'm new around here.
I might take the wrong turnoff.

Devlin Warren, you know there
isn't a turnoff between here
and town.

♪ You disappear
Without a trace ♪

♪ To die like this
Is no disgrace ♪

♪ This is the time

♪ This is the place--

Devlin Warren, what are you
trying to do? Kill us?

Would you rather
have your friend drive?

Yah!

Oh.

Daddy. Daddy.

I have never been so humiliated
in my entire life.

I said what I said, and I'll
stand by it to the death.

Shoot him, Daddy,
shoot him at once.

W-- Why?

My honor is at stake.

Well, now, your honor?

Absolutely.

He impugned my honor.

Impugned? What does that mean?

Slander. He slandered my honor.

He did?I said what I said, and I'll
stand by it to the death.

He admits it, see? Shoot him.

Well, what is he admitting to?

Why, he called me a...

I won't even repeat the word.

I didn't necessarily
call you anything,

but I said what I said, and I'll
stand by it to the death.

Well, just for the tally books,
what did you say?

I said that any girl who'd
permit a man to kiss her

before they're formally engaged
is a trollop.

He said it again. Shoot him!

Now, hold on.No, don't hold on.

If you're my father, if you
love me, you'll shoot him.

Well, I'm your father
and I sure love you

so...

Oh, you shot him.
You really shot him.

Hey!If he dies--

If he dies, he'll be
the first man ever killed
with a blank cartridge.

We use this to start
the races on the fourth.

Hey!

I'm on fire here.

Oh, you poor dear.

Poor dear?

You'd have had me
shot in cold blood.

But it didn't happen.

Yelling I insulted you
and all,

what you need is
a good spanking.

Dev! Daddy.

Leave me out of this.

I think I'll give you
what you deserve.

You wouldn't dare.
Oh, wouldn't I?

You'll think next time
before you have someone shot

and this kickin' and yellin'
ain't gonna help.

Don't! Oh, Daddy, what--
Daddy!

Oh, Daddy, help me. Don't.

Devlin Warren, I hate you!

Mommy! Mommy!

G.W., was that a shot?

Oh.Becky, Becky, what happened?

He spanked me.

You spanked my daughter?

Dev.

You mean, you stood there while
that brute beat our daughter?

G.W., what's happened to you
in the last three...

Better part of valor, son.

Isn't it enough that you've
always treated me like a squaw,

without subjecting dear, sweet
Becky to this crude, vulgar--

Katherine, you women are always
raising hell about one thing

when it's something else
you're really sore about.

Don't you think it's about time
you told me

what put the burr under your
saddle about me?

I don't intend to stand here
and hold a midnight conversation

with an intoxicated man.

And I am not intoxicated...

...yet.

Hello, Governor.

Hello, Governor.

Chief Puma.

Yes, sergeant.

Big Mclintock, we know
you'll get us fair judgment.

You gentlemen, follow me.

Well, Jake?

G.W.

Well, G.W.,
it's been a long time.

Not long enough, Cuthbert.

Your husband is a rude man.

Yes, Cuthbert, I know.

Where do you want the Indians,
Mr. Mclintock?

Mr. Mclintock is
not running this hearing.

Sergeant, seat those Indians.SERGEANT: Yes, sir.

Gentlemen, be seated.

You know, their whole tribe
here wanted to come into town.

Proceed, lieutenant.

This hearing is now in session.

Governor Cuthbert Humphrey
presiding.

Good luck, Daddy.

I'm afraid it's a packed court.

GOV. HUMPHREY:
Government edict number 826.

"As ordered that the Comanche
nation be transferred

from their present reservation
to fort sill,

it is the government's claim as
filed by Indian agent Agard...

that these chiefs after being
released from prison

by a kindly government

did then rouse and incite
defiance among the tribe

against said order."

It seems, gentlemen, that
although some of these chiefs
speak English,

Chief Puma is quite at home
in our language,

they have chosen Mr. Mclintock
to be their spokesman.

I speak for the Comanche,
or rather, I offer
this translation.

Proceed, Mr. Mclintock.

The Comanches say...

"We are an old people,
and a proud people.

"When the white man
first came among us,

we were as many as the grasses
of the prairie."

"Now we are few,
but we are still proud,

for if a man loses pride
in manhood, he is nothing."

"You tell us now that if we will
let you send us away

to this place called Fort Sill,

you will feed us
and care for us."

"Let us tell you this,

it is a Comanche law
that no chief ever eats

unless first he sees
that the pots are full of meat

in the lodges
of the widows and orphans."

"It is the Comanche
way of life."

"This that the white man
calls charity

is a fine thing
for widows and orphans,

but no warrior can accept it,

for if he does,
he is no longer a man,

and when he is no longer a man,
he is nothing

and better off dead."

"You say to the Comanche,

'You are widows and orphans,
you are not men'

and we, the Comanche, say
we would rather be dead."

"It will not be a remembered
fight when you kill us

because we are few now
and have few weapons."

"But we will fight
and we will die Comanche."

Thank you, big Mclintock.

Am I to gather the Comanche

defy the government
of the United States?

Yes, you may gather that
the Comanche

defy the United States
government,

or at least this commission.
Gentlemen.

I don't think
we have any choice...

It is the order of this court
that these chiefs be

incarcerated until such
time as the detachment

of the United States cavalry
be made available

to escort them and the Comanche
nation to Fort Sill.

This court is adjourned.

Oh, Mclintock.

You are an important chief
amongst these white people.

Sway them.

Have them give us a few guns
to make the fight worthwhile.

Let us have one last remembered
fight for end of Comanche.

I almost wish I could
arrange that, Puma.

Sergeant.Yes?

Left guard, carry on.

Gentlemen.

It's sad, these changing times.

It isn't the times
that are changing, Mama.

Hi, G.W.

Hello, Lem.

Bunny.

Oh, howdy, Mclintock.

Hey, figured you'd be
belly-down drunk by now.

I've been doin' some
thinkin'-drinkin', Bunny.

Is that boxcar
still on the siding?

Oh, sure, but, uh--
But what?

I don't like it.You don't, eh?

Uh, y-you figure them Indians
get out of there

and lead the cavalry
on a wild goose chase,

that great white father's
gonna get nosey--

Get nosey and he'll investigate.

And when they find out how that
side-saddle governor's

been messing things up,

they'll give those Indians
a fair trial.

But that's live ammunition
in that boxcar.

You know what'll happen if
them Indians get some guns
in their hands?

Somebody's gonna get hurt.

Is Puma's word
good enough for you?

Well, I don't...

Mclintock, you got
yourself a partner.

Leave me out of this.

Hey, Mclintock. Um...

Good night, Bunny.

Good night, Governor.

Governor.

♪ Where is the Katy

♪ With her light red hair

♪ Sweet as the roses

♪ On the summer air

♪ I'll find her somewhere

♪ While the moon is high

♪ And tell her that I love her

♪ And I'll love her till I die

Katy!

Katy Gilhooly.
The master's home.

Katy.

Katy.

Katherine Gilhooly Mclintock.

Where is the woman
of the house?

MRS. WARREN: Uh. Mr. Mclintock.

Oh, there you are.

Mrs. Warren, oh, good evening.

I waited up for you,
Mr. Mclintock.

Oh, how nice.

MRS. WARREN: See, I, uh, want to
talk to you about something.

Delighted. Delighted.

Three hundred and nine times
straight.

I beg your pardon?

Three hundred and nine times
straight without a miss.

Gotta be a record.

I suppose so.
Now, Mr. Mclintock,
what I wanted to say--

Two-pound Stetson
with a six-inch brim

Fifty-three feet in the air,
it's gotta be a record.

I'm sure it is,
but the reason I waited up--

Dangnabbit, woman,
can't you hold that glass still?

Uh, of course, sir.

Now, down the hatch
to my world record.

Down the hatch.

Yes, sir.

And now, to the governor
of our territory.

Ahem, the governor
of the territory, sir?

Now, don't you stick up for him,
Mrs. Warren.

You're a fine woman,
Mrs. Warren.

But you'll certainly
go down in my estimation,

if you stick up
for Cuthbert H. Humphrey,
governor of this territory.

I don't mean to change--Down the hatch.

Oh. Yes, sir.
Down the hatch.

Cuthbert H. Humphrey,
governor of our territory

Is a cull.

Do you know
what a cull is, ma'am?

A cull is a specimen
that is so worthless

that you have to
cut him out of the herd.

Now, if all the people
in the world were put
in one herd...

Cuthbert is the one
I would throw my rope at.

At whom-- at whom I would
throw my rope at.

Natural-born cull.

Another touch, ma'am?

Oh, no, sir, no.

Why, I don't mind if I do.

Good.

Can't walk on one leg...

Oh, I didn't mean
to be vulgar, ma'am.

Can't walk on one limb.

It's all right.

It sounds silly, only a bird
can walk on a limb.

You know my wife?
Her name's Kate.

She insists on
being called Katherine.

Do you know her?

Of course, Mr. Mclintock,
and that's what I wanted--

Well, she thinks
that Cuthbert H. Humphrey

is panting for her
like a bull buffalo

at the first Greenup of spring.

But what Cuthbert is
panting for is my money.

Don't make me feel like
I'm drinking alone, ma'am.

Very well, Mr. Mclintock,
if you insist.

Down the hatch!

Good.

Mr. Mclintock...

I have something
very important to say to you.

Very important.

I guess it'll have to
wait till the morning.

Toodle.

Oh.

Oh, it's all right.
It's all right.

Beddy-bye-bye.

Whoops. Oh.

Mrs. Warren, let me assist you.

MRS. WARREN: Very kind.

Ooh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoops.

What's going on here?

Now, Katherine, are you going
to believe what you see,

or what I tell you?

Uh. Mrs. Mclintock,
hope you won't misunderstand.

It's the first 100 women sitting
on his lap that I misunderstood,

number 101 is quite simple.

Now, G.W. Mclintock, I...

He's gone to sleep.

Just when I know exactly
what I want to say to him,

he goes to sleep.

I waited up to talk to
Mr. Mclintock...

I wanted to tell him
I was quitting.

You see, Sheriff Lord has
asked me to marry him and...

Oh. Oh, congratulations.

I don't want to seem prudish,
but if you are going to marry
Sheriff Lord,

it seems to me that you're
sitting on the wrong man's lap.

Oh.

Come on, I'll help you
upstairs,

and we'll have a long talk
about men in general.

Ladies, one moment.

Oh, oh.

Watch out,
you'll get us all killed!

Oh.

Wait a minute, ladies,
till I catch my breath

and I'll get you up those stairs

as sure as my name is
George Washington Mclintock.

You may be quitting,
Mrs. Wallace...

MRS. WARREN: Mrs. Warren....but not tomorrow.

I want my breakfast
in bed, I want--

I know, toast,
lightly browned...

Somebody sure
put a knob on my skull.

It was Katy. I was peeking.

Katy? Why?

Uh. Mrs. Warren was there.Oh.

And you was there.Oh.

And then that whiskey bottle
was there.Oh.

And Katy's temper bein'
what Katy's temper is, well,
there you are.

Drago, old friend.Huh?

My wife does not
understand me.

Why should she be
any different than the others?

Come on, I gotta
get you upstairs.

Get you ready for that
big celebration tomorrow.

Watch it!

Drago, I am sleeping
in the den.

Hooligans!

Ain't you got no respect
for your elders?

Bunny lost his temper.
Bunny lost his temper.

Bunny lost his temper.
Bunny lost his temper.

Bunny lost his temper.
Bunny lost his temper.

Scallywags! Villains!

Hope you get the measles.

MCLINTOCK:
come on, get him aboard.

Is everybody ready?

The man at number five
needs a Flagstick.

Get him one.

Let us know
when you're ready.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it is my honor to present to you

the governor of our territory...

...Cuthbert H. Humphrey.

GOV. HUMPHREY:
Thank you, Mayor.

My friends and citizens
of this great territory,

this is the ninth
consecutive year

it has been my privilege
and my pleasure

to inaugurate the Mclintock
fourth of July celebration.

Now, the first event
will be the wild horse race.

But before I fire this shot
to start the event,

I would like to say
a few modest words

regarding my stewardship...

...of this great territory.

All right, professor Birnbaum.

Gentlemen.

Sheriff, there's your horse.

Come on, get them all lined up.
Come here, Ching.

Now, boys, you all
know the rules.

It's twice around the inside
and once around the outside.

The first cowboy that hits
that finish line

without busting that egg
is our winner.

And I caution you boys
about some of them eggs

'cause some of them eggs
are last year's holdovers.

DRAGO:
All right, mount up.

Katherine, my dear, you seem
to be enjoying yourself.

Oh, yes. This is wonderful.

It's the only thing I really
do enjoy about this
barbaric country.

The fourth of July celebration.

Well, Katherine, I've been here
for three days

and I haven't heard from you.

Is anything wrong?Wrong?

Well, I just hope that
it hasn't been necessary

for you to say anything
to G.W.

What are you talking about?

Well, Katherine, you see,
I'm in a, uh, rather delicate

position, being governor
of the territory and all.

I just hope you haven't found it
necessary to say anything
about...

About what?

About you and me.

Why, you pompous windbag.

Do you think that
you're the only man

who's ever tried to play
patty fingers with me,

who's ever tried to lure me
into the moonlight?

Well, no, but I--

Well, I'm a big girl and I can
take care of myself.

My husband knows it.

I can assure you, Governor,
that your reputation is
untarnished.

Now, get out of my way.

We got ourselves a winner.
Curly fletcher.

Fine old job, Curly.

Give me the egg.

Disqualified.

Here you go, Curly.

G.W., G.W., you'll never believe
what happened over...

What?

Phew! You smell of beer.

Well, naturally,
I'm drinkin' beer.

MAYOR:
Ladies and gentlemen,

the next event will be a contest

between the two
bronco-busting champions

of our territory.

Remember the year
I rode in that event?

I wore your garters
to hold up my sleeves.

We had a bet, and I won it.

George Washington Mclintock,
you are a very crude man.

Well, I guess so,
but that was a rough horse,

liked to have jarred
my insides loose.

But it was worth it.

Three beers.

Oh, hey!

One, two, three, go!

Dev! Dev, are you all right?

I guess so.

Nothing busted but my pride.

That ought to even
things up, farmer.

For what?

For that sore nose
you gave me the other day.

Well, that ain't
what's sore on him.

The closing event
is the cow pony race.

The finish line is
at the barbecue

So start meanderin'.

Come on.

Now, what is that?
False courage?

Why, you know a Douglas
doesn't ever use a thing
like that.

Now, I want you to
get on that horse,

get out in front,
and stay out in front.

I'll be out front, Dad.

All the way.

Oh, good boy.

Now, remember,
stay out in front,

that Agamemnon's a good horse.

Whoa, Agamemnon.

The 11:40, and she's on time.

Agamemnon.

Come on, boy. Oh.

Oh, Mclin.

Big party.
Where's the whiskey?

Whose idea was this stunt?

Duck, doggone it,
them are real bullets.

Oh.

I'm thinking that's about
all the excitement

you'd want for one
fourth of July, eh?

Puma finally got his way.

But I reckon he's riding out
his last war party.

Well, he won't get very far.

But one thing
still has me puzzled.

Where did they get the guns?

I was wondering the same thing.

My kidney's been
bothering me, and...Bunny.

G.W. Psst, psst.

What an idiotic joke.

Joke? You think that
was a joke?

Well, shut up.

Do you want everybody in town
to see me?

You look good in feathers.

REBECCA:
Dev, I think they've gone.

Yeah.

Well, what are you
going to do about it?

What can I do?Nothin'!

Just like
you've always done.

How long, G.W.?

How long what?Katherine.

She's been ridin' herd
on you for two years now.

I'm a peaceable man,

but my father used to say,

"You raise your voice,
it doesn't do any good.

It's time to raise your hand."

Well, I've been planning to do
somethin' about it. I'll, uh...

I'll have another talk
with her.

Talk to her?

Talk to her?
Talking won't do any good!

Becky, have you seen
your...

What's been
happening around here?

You've got hay
all over you.

Been some mighty sneaky
goings-on here

durin' that raid, Mr. Mclintock.

Who was it who said only
a trollop would kiss a man

before they were
formally engaged?

Oh, but, we are engaged, sir.

You are?That is, with your permission.

Well, you've got it.
Oh, Mrs. Warren?

I think it's wonderful.

I guess this is
the only engagement

that ever started off
of a spanking.

Mm-hmm.

I reckon Birnbaum was right.

All right.

Lord bless us. This is
gonna be a great day.

Doggone it, folks.

Let's don't let
a little old Indian raid

break up a good
barbeque and a rodeo.

The meat's on!

Let's go.

You contestants get ready
for the cow pony race.

Who is it?

It's me, let me in.

Not now.

Right now.

Are you insane?

I want to talk to you.

It'll have to wait.

G.W.!

I've taken all I'm
gonna take from you.

You are insane.

You're going to tell me
why you packed up,

picked up,
and walked out on me.

Two years ago, you remember,
you came home from Denver

with lipstick all over your--

Lipstick on my collar.

I've got the shirt
to prove it.

Who cares?

Why, you big...

Katherine.

G.W., you are a ruffian.

Cuthbert, you are right.

Well, what kind of
a family is that?

The best.

And dangerous, fellow.

What happened?

Who won the race?

Who cares, Agard?
History's being made.

Yes, Rufus?

I regret to inform you
I've changed my mind
about matrimony.

Rufus!

Hey, Mrs. Mclintock!

-Oh.
-Katherine!

Katherine!

MCLINTOCK:
Keep them out of here.

DRAGO:
Come on. Everybody, out!

Oh.

Looks like G.W.'s
buying out the whole store.

I'm afraid you're right.

Crummy family.
Crummy family.

G.W.

Oh, G.W.! G.W.!

G.W.!

Oh, Mrs. Mclintock,
you're all wet.

Am I?

Wrong woman, G.W.

Oh, pardon me.

Mrs. Mclintock,
you settin' a new style?

Shh.

Mr. Mclintock, in here!

If I ever get through
this humiliation,

you'll rue the day
you ever met me.

Oh, bellyache and fight
all you want, it won't do
you any good.

You've been diggin' those spurs
into me for two years,

now you're gonna
get your comeuppance.

Oh.

Thanks.

My father would be proud of you.

I'll make him prouder.

Stop it!

Keep it, you may need it.

Now get your divorce.

Home. Don't spare the horse.

Home? But--You heard me.

Don't think you're gonna get
rid of me that easy.

Yah!

No more living
in the capital?

No.MCLINTOCK:
No more Newport in season?

Nope.

No more dancing
at the Governor's ball?

No, G.W.

Happy days.

Three hundred
and ten times without a miss.

That's a record.