All language subtitles for Joe vs Carole S01E02_English

- Hey, all you
cool cats and kittens.

You've reached Carole Baskin
at Big Cat Rescue.

Leave me a message, won't you?

Well, how 'bout that?

It's Carole Baskin's
voice mail.

How you doin' tonight,
Carole Baskin's voice mail?

Me, I'm not doin' too good,
not that you give a shit.

Anybody tell you how stupid
your goddamn voice sounds?

Makes me wanna fuckin' puke.

You think you can just
cut the head off my business

and I'm gonna be okay with it?

Well, I'm not okay with it.

I'm a fiery fuckin' phoenix,
Carole Baskin,

and when I burn up,
I'm just gonna rise

from my own goddamn ashes,
you fuckin' bitch.

And I'm gonna fucking--

Shit!

I am stronger than anyone
or anything you ever met

in your goddamn life,

and if you know
what's good for you,

you'll be shakin' in your Uggs,
you no-good,

two-bit, motherfucking
backwards-twatted cunt.

This is Joe Exotic, by the way.

- Uh, two masses
removed without issue,

but...

the liver's too far gone.

As the cancer progresses,
her pain levels will increase.

Might be time to think
about what's best

for Chairman Meow,

instead of what hurts us less.

I get it.

Guess we didn't get there
in time, huh?

Um, can I just, um--

can I have a moment
alone with her to say goodbye?

Hi, sweet pie.

Good girl.

I'm sorry, sweet pie.

Here comes another one.

Come on, you sexy bitch.

Oh! All right, I got it.

- Yeah.
- There you go, buddy.

Got that shit all over it.

- That's the same shit
you were covered in

when you came out, bud.

- Female.
- Phew! Doc, check 'em out!

Excuse me, ladies.

- Well, that's a good-sized
litter, Joe.

Thank you.

- Cats I usually breed
haven't turned out

this many in a while.

- Well, the air
around Oklahoma's

sweeter than Myrtle Beach,

and it makes my tigers
real horny.

Yeah.

Oh, now, look, she is a beauty.

We don't have anything
with markings like that

at Safari Park.

- That one's precious.
- Mm.

- This one?
- Yeah, that one.

Well, she's yours, then.

Huh? Anything for my girls.

Okay, so we'll--
we'll take those two.

Now, uh, what'd we say,
$2,500 a head?

- Now, wait a minute.
You got a big operation.

You're gonna need all kinds
of new blood comin' in.

How about that guy?
He's a killer for sure.

Yeah, no, I'm good, Joe.

Can we talk, Doc?

I'm in a tough spot
right now, Doc.

With no road shows right now,
I got next to no income.

I can barely afford
to feed the cats I got,

let alone a few new ones.

- Yeah, well,
that Carole Baskin's

got a target on all of us, Joe.

- Yeah.

- And I'm sorry
about your situation,

but I can't afford any more.

We're friends from way back.

Help me out, please!

Well, I'll tell you,

you know what Vern Owens
used to do

when he was in this spot?

He'd make room.

Yeah, well, I don't.

I love my cats.
I-I could never hurt 'em.

Yeah, of course not.

I wasn't suggesting it.
It's horrible.

Yeah.

- Well, I'm sure
you'll think of something.

Ladies!

- Mmm, ain't nothin'
like a mom-cooked meal.

- Tried to cook it medium rare,
but I overdid it.

Mm.

Steak's great, Mom, thanks.

Hey, you know I hate to ask.

We've been having
some money problems.

- I gave you $5,000 last month.
What happened to that?

Spent it on meat.

And I guess
I can put 'em on a diet,

but you ever heard
a hungry cat roar?

It's like to break your heart.

They'll be all like...

- Well, I don't wanna see
the poor things suffer,

- but, Joe--
- If I can't feed 'em, Mom,

I might have to put
the whole zoo up for sale.

How much do you need?

- Oh, maybe 15 grand,
20 if you got it.

Thanks, Mom.

And these vegetables,
how do you get them so tender?

It's incredible.

I'm home, Grandma.

The hell are you doing here?

- Well, look who it is,
resting witch face.

- Grandma, you're not
writing him another check.

Mind your own damn business.

This is my business.

I'm the one
who takes care of Grandma.

You just come by
to mooch off her.

- That's a humanitarian
right there.

You wanna stop her from
supporting animals in need?

Ten grand?

You really burn me up,
you know that?

- Not my fault you don't know
how to budget.

- I wouldn't even need
the money if it weren't

for that bitch down in Florida.

Who?

I told you, Carole Baskin.

She's messing
with my livelihood.

- Yeah? Go take it up
with her, then.

She won't call me back.

What am I supposed to do,
drive to Florida

and show up on her doorstep?

- Hey, Crystal said
she had some forms

she wanted you to sign.

Forget that.

Need you to gas up the truck.

I'm goin' on a road trip.

You got it.

- Hey,
maybe you wanna come with?

We can make it a boys' weekend.

Where we headed?

Tampa, Florida.

What's in Florida?

The queen bitch herself...

Carole fuckin' Baskin.

- That brings us
to our 20-minute window

for public comment.

Yes, thank you.

Carole Baskin, CEO and founder,
Big Cat Rescue.

- Please keep it limited
to three minutes, Mrs. Baskin.

Of course.

I agree, it's upsetting.

This beautiful creature
passed away this morning,

after years of being
held captive by a motley crew

of private traders
and wildlife "enthusiasts."

But if I sat at home grieving,
I wouldn't be upholding

my responsibility to the
animals I've sworn to protect.

So I am here--
not for the first time--

to ask this committee
to revoke

the Class 1 wildlife permit
held by Grigore Zaharia.

Speak of the devil.

- Every month, I come down here
to defend myself

because nebuna asta
is after me again.

- Nebuna asta,
you say that every time.

What is that?

- I have never seen
that tiger before in my life.

- It's--yes, okay,
this individual tiger

was not in his possession,
but it's representative

of what happens to the tigers
under his care.

I've received several
anonymous complaints

from former employees,
all citing the same concerns:

untreated wounds,

starvation diets--

- All my animals,
down to the last

pink flamingo,
are happy and healthy.

- Then open your gates
and let us inside.

If you have nothing to hide,
why ban public access?

- I swam across the Danube
to escape the Iron Curtain.

I won't be interrogated
by Comrade Baskin,

not when the Constitution
guarantees me

a right to property.

- The curtain fell
a long time ago, my friend,

and these are living things,
not property.

The committee needs
to demand access

to his animals
and see for yourself--

Do you have any evidence

to support your claim,
Mrs. Baskin?

I don't know if you can tell,

Mr. Zaharia
is a very intimidating man.

And I think the fact
that my tipsters

were not willing to go public
is indicative--

- We can't revoke
a legally granted permit

based on hearsay.

Request denied.

Woof.

- Sorry that
didn't go your way.

- Well, I didn't get Joe
at first either.

Slow and steady wins the race,
my love.

That's right. That's right.

Well, I have to get
on the road to Miami.

- Oh.
- I'll be back Thursday.

- What company are you
fixing this time?

- Oh, windows and doors
manufacturer.

Yeah, their financials
were a mess.

It's gonna take me months
to unravel

and put a new plan in place.

I am so excited.

- Well, you're a genius
and you can

- wear the hell out of a suit.
- That's right.

They needed the big guns.

Pop, pop, pop, pop.

Ow, my heart.

Come here, you.

- I'll miss you.
- Miss you.

Hm.

- You planning something,
or do I not wanna know?

I'll be careful.

All I ask.

- I don't choose
who I go after, Howie.

- They choose me.
- I know.

- You touch my music
one more time,

we're gonna have words.

Someone's in a mood.

- I mean, I don't recall
inviting you along.

- You said you wanted
a guys' weekend.

- Yeah, and I ain't been on one
of those in a long-ass time,

and Tampa's the strip club
capital of the world.

I'm ready to tackle
some clam, baby.

- Well, I got bigger tits
on my plate.

Shit, like what?

- He's gonna walk
into Carole Baskin's office,

he's gonna sit her down,

and he's gonna charm
the granny panties off her.

- Oh, that is one claptrap I
would not wanna get caught in.

Ten minutes in the same room,

me and her'll be
hugging it out.

And I'll get my road show back.

I'll be in the black again--

or the red,
whichever the good one is.

- Mm, I'm not so sure
she'll talk to you,

especially after
all them voice mails.

Yeah. How bad were they?

- Oh, dude,
even I learned a few

new cuss words,
and that's saying something.

Well, I got feelings!

She can't hold that against me.

I mean, we ain't so different,
me and Carole Baskin.

Ain't nobody loves tigers
more than me, she'll see.

- All right, Florida,
here we come!

You boys ever been there?

I mean, I love Dr. Mead,
but if you're gonna ask me

to hold a stress position,
at least buy me a drink first.

- Hey, Joe, you coming
to the gym this afternoon?

No.

Hurts too much.

- Well, your X-rays
show progress, Joe.

Your biggest problem
is mental.

Maybe tomorrow.

- Look, Joe, if you're
not gonna do the rehab,

why'd you come
all the way to Florida?

- He's so cute.

- This monkey is so funny.
- I know, he's trouble.

- I love him!
- He's so cute.

- Ah, finally
feeling sociable, huh?

- I was just wondering
what all the fuss was about.

- I'm Emilio.
This is my boyfriend, Isaac.

Hey.

Hi, I'm Joe.

Are these all your animals?

I help run a petting zoo.

Sometimes they let us
borrow the animals

so they don't get lonely.

Or so we don't.

Isaac brings them by
when I'm feeling low.

Had to have a couple
of pins in my hip

after a slip and fall
in the tub.

Humiliating.

- Hey, could've happened
to anybody.

What are you in for?

Car accident.

- Are you from Miami?
- No, I'm from Texas.

My girlfriend said this...

was the best place.

Can I hold your cub?

Sure, come on in.

Leave the walker there, though.

Are you serious?

- You wanna pet the cub,
you gotta work for it.

Okay.

Yeah.

- I grew up on a ranch,
and we had horses

and sheep and chickens

but nothing like this.

- Well, get ready
to get pissed on.

Oh.

- Oh, my God.
- Mm-hmm.

- What do I--how do--

- It's just like
feeding a baby.

He's so tiny.

Yeah, watch, though.

In six months,
he'll weigh 100 pounds

and no one will be able
to tell him what to do.

Oh, God. Oh, my God.

- Oh, there he goes.
- Oh!

Oh!

Yeah.

Yeah!

11.

12. Nice, Joe, nice.

I can keep going.

One more set, you're done.

Looking good, Schreibvogel.

Feeling good.

- Looks like you'll be
out of here soon, going home.

Bet your girlfriend
will be thrilled.

Hey, you never told me
her name.

Kim.

She's--she's great.

She's a teacher,
so, you know,

she'll probably
make a good mom someday.

Meeting her, best thing
that ever happened to me.

- Who are you trying
to convince, me or you?

What are you talking about?

- Please, I had you pegged
the second I laid eyes on you.

What was your plan?

Marry this girl,

pretend to be
someone you're not

the rest of your life?

No.

I was gonna kill myself.

Drove myself off a bridge.

"Car accident," huh?

You know, being out

is a hell of a lot better
than being dead.

Easy for you to say.

You got a whole life.

You got someone who loves you.

You can have all that too.

It's hard in Texas.

It's hard everywhere.

But if you stick around here,
at least you have us.

We make our family.

Okay.

- I think
that's everything.

- Isaac and I
have a fold-out sofa.

You're welcome to stay
as long as you need.

Gotta tell Kim the truth.

Plus, I like cowboys.

There ain't no cowboys
in Miami.

Thank you.

Okay, my friend.

You ready?

Good.
You and me both, buddy.

No sign of the asset.

Oh, there he is.

There you are.

The asset is taking out
the trash.

I've been spotted.

Oh, shit--oh.

- What are you doing,
Mrs. Baskin?

I wanna talk to you...

Away from here

so your boss can't see us.

Why would I talk to you?

You're enemy number one.

- I'm not--
I am his enemy, not yours.

You know what I mean?

- Oh, check it out,
they got firecrackers.

- Is anybody else's
tummy growling?

I saw a sign back there
for some stone crabs.

- Ain't you got
enough crabs already?

- Oh, come on.

- I think we should take a look
around before we get dinner.

I wanna find
a present for Carole.

A present?

- Ah, she might've got
the wrong impression of me,

you know,
from those voice mails.

Thought a peace offering
would help,

something like that rug, yeah.

- Ah! I think she likes
her tigers alive, Joe.

Yeah, fair enough.

Hold the fuckin' phone.

What about that?

Oh, my God, that's it!

And look, it's a bargain too.

What do you think, John?

John?

- They eat a gallon
of these baby shrimp

in, like, five minutes flat.

- No way.
- Yeah.

Look, Joe, newborn gators.

Yeah.

Tiny little fuckers,
ain't they?

- Mm-hmm.

- What if I bought you
a couple?

- You serious?
- Sure.

Ship 'em out to the zoo.
Build a pen.

You could raise 'em up,
take care of them.

- I ain't taken care
of anything before.

- Well, you helped birth
those cubs, didn't you?

You're a natural.

Sure it's not too expensive?

- Who gives a shit
about how much it costs?

When you're with me,

everything's taken care of...
Gator Man.

Gator Man?

That's badass.

I'll take care of everything.

You just pick out the names.

- Hi, Jenny. How are you?
- Hi, good.

- How are you?
- This is my new friend.

- Hello.

- Uh, could I get the--

what am I gonna have?

All right, frick it.

Can I just do
the chickpea patty, please,

extra onions,
pickles, pickles all day,

no tempeh--ugh--

no carrots,
lettuce, tomato, fine,

zesty sauce on the side--
no, on it.

- On?
- On.

No, on the side.

And, um, no sprouts.

Did you know that sprouts
are the number three

carrier of salmonella?

Sprouts!

I'll get a glass of water.

You sure? I'm payin'.

- Thank you.
- You got five minutes.

Yeah.

How'd you come to work
for Mr. Zaharia, anyway?

- I worked in animal care
over at ZooTampa.

My back crapped out,
they laid me off.

Zaharia gave me a job,
no questions asked.

Pretty decent of him.

Too bad about the way
he treats his animals.

You could change things
for those cats, you know.

What are you getting at?

- If you were to bring
a camera into the facility--

Now I know you're crazy.

I'm not crazy,

I took down Joe Exotic,

I can take down Zaharia too.

All I need is a few
decent photographs.

You're the only one
that can get in there.

- And, what,
just put myself out of a job?

I got a family,
bills to pay.

I can't just turn
my life upside down,

no matter how much
I love those cats.

- Hmm, I would hate
for money to stand

in the way
of doing the right thing.

$5,000?

Ten'd be better.

- Can't we leave
this damn thing in the truck?

It's a true objet d'art.

Can't just leave that
lying around.

People'll steal it.

- Ain't no one gonna steal
that piece of shit.

Can you put it over there?

Oh, check this out.

The soap looks just like
a seashell.

- Yeah, well, don't be stingy
with it, you stinky bastard.

- Oh, it ain't my fault,
after being crammed

in that truck with you two
for 18 hours.

This piece-of-shit lock
is busted.

- Like anyone's trying
to see you naked.

See you in an hour, boys.

- They got this thing called
a mermaid show here, or...

We could take a helicopter
ride over the bay.

Says we might see sharks.

John, that's tourist shit.

We gotta focus on our mission:
Carole fuckin' Baskin.

- Thought we'd have time
for a little fun, at least.

We're gonna have fun.

Oh!

Holy fucking shit!

God damn it!

Man, fuck you guys!

You all right in there?

Ooh, the water's incredible!

My God.

Get your ass in front
of one of these jets here.

It's like a deep-tissue
massage up my god--

oh, I can feel it in my throat.

It's deep.

You mind telling me what
the hell is going on with you?

What do you mean?

- Are you embarrassed
to be seen with me, huh?

Are you afraid strangers
are gonna think you're gay?

Come on, man.

- Lookit,
you're so uncomfortable,

you can't even look at me.

- I'm uncomfortable
because this bathing suit

you wanted me to wear
has got my nuts in a vise grip.

You been weird for days.

Flirting with every girl
from Wynnewood to Tallahassee,

inviting that boner killer
in there on what was supposed

to be a romantic weekend.

I mean...

are you even attracted to me?

- I think
it's pretty obvious I am.

Well, it ain't obvious to me.

'Cause I think this thing
we have...

Could be real.

You like me?

- Well, don't say it like that.
- I'm not.

I knew you liked fucking me,

but I didn't think
you had feelings for me.

Jeez.

I feel like I'm in goddamn
middle school here.

You gonna make me ask?

Do you feel
the same way or what?

I don't know.

The only relationship
I ever been in,

my girlfriend cheated on me.

I don't know, I guess

I just need more time

to figure out how I feel.

- Don't keep me hanging
too long.

I won't.

Hey, move over.
Quit hogging those jets.

I wanna feel that famous jet
you've been talkin' about.

- Let's see. Let's see.
Let's see. Let's see.

Oh!

Oh, my gosh,
that's gorgeous.

Very Georgia O'Keeffe.

Will you take that
to Cheryl in the gift shop

and tell her we have
more "Paw-cassos" on the way?

- Sure thing.
- Thank you so much.

Really beautiful stuff. Wait.

Hello?

It's going down.

Let's roll.

What is this?

What do you want?

Ah, look at him.

- Those photos
must have been bad

for the committee
to move this quickly.

Mm, Daniel came through.

Those cats are gonna get
a second chance because of him.

It's because of you.

Oh, look, they're fighting.

Wish I had popcorn.

Oh.

- $25 a damn person,
that's highway robbery.

- Pretty good-looking
operation.

- She's got cages.
I got cages.

Looks the same to me.

Okay, hi, everyone.

My name is Tyler.

I'm gonna be taking you

on your tour
of Big Cat Rescue today.

Our sanctuary provides
forever homes for big cats

from abusive
or neglected backgrounds.

For instance,
over there, you'll see Paloma.

She came to us
through a drug raid

but is now thriving, so...

Would ya listen to that?

Looks like Paloma
was a drug addict.

- Wonder what her poison was--
pills, reefer?

China white tiger?

- Look how nice
this fuckin' place is.

Shut up.

So tigers like Sasha here

can sometimes sleep
up to 20 hours a day.

Pretty crazy, huh?

Okay, let's take the bridge
over to Bobcat Island.

Cool, all right, let's--

- I'm gonna look
for Carole now.

- All right,
give her my regards.

Scuse me, miss.

I wonder if you might
point me

in the direction
of the office.

- Uh, well, the office
is off-limits to the public.

Well, I'm not the public.

I'm a colleague
of Carole Baskin.

Just came by for a little chat.

- So do you have
an appointment?

- Not technically, but she's
gonna wanna hear from me.

Val?

Yeah?

- Can you cut a check
for $10,000

and make it out
to Daniel Marsh, please?

- That's a lot of money.
- I know.

He took pictures of Zaharia's
cats so we could rescue them.

Wait, what, you bribed him?

It's not a bribe.

A bribe is paying someone
to do something illicit.

This man
is being fairly compensated

for doing the Lord's work.

I'd say the cats
justify the means.

Sorry.

Hi, sweetheart.
What do you need?

- Hey, I've got
Joe Schreibvogel.

He wants to talk to you.

- Oh, my God, this guy
doesn't know when to quit.

He's calling
your phone now too?

- No, I mean he's here.
He's in the sanctuary.

Say that one more time?

He's here?

What's going on?

- Sweetheart,
what does Joe want?

- She wants to know
what this is regarding.

- Well, I thought it was
about damn time me and her

broke bread together.

I even bought her
a little present.

It's sittin'
right outside in my truck.

Did you hear that?

Yes, I heard that, thank you.

Should we hear him out?

Jamie,

here's what I want you to do.

Okay.

Oh, I understand.

Okay, right this way.

Well, good.

I know if we could
just sit down and talk,

we can come
to an understanding.

I mean,
we both like cats, right?

Yeah, you got
a nice setup here,

though this chicken wire
ain't gonna hold a hamster,

let alone an adult tiger.

You know,
I think the only difference

between me and Carole is
our opinion about cub pettin'.

You know, I believe
that if you hold a tiger,

you're gonna wanna spend
the rest of your life

tryin' to save them,
you know what I mean?

This ain't the office.

I just wanted to talk.

- I'm gonna have to ask you
to leave.

Right now, or else.

Hey.

Hey!

What do you think
you're doing?

You can't bring
that thing in here.

- I'll take a shot
of Jim Beam for me

and a bowl of milk
for my friend.

You gotta be kiddin' me.

You need to leave right now,
or else.

You ever pet a tiger before?

Or a tiger's owner?

- Hey, I keep coming up
$200 short.

- Oh, yeah,
I gave $200 to Trip Malloy.

- How do you expect me
to reconcile the books

when you don't tell me
where the damn money is?

- I love
when you go all CPA on me.

- Oh, you mean when I talk
about accounts receivable?

You really wanna do this?

Liquidity.

Hostile takeover.

All right,
what'd you spend the money on?

Equipment.

- And what is that
supposed to mean?

There's a lion needs a home.

She's got one foot
that's all mangled.

We can afford it.

It's not about the money.

We've already got a tiger
we don't have room for.

Now you wanna take in a lion?

This is a pet store,
not a circus.

- I know, but we could be doing
so much more,

not just selling hamsters

that are gonna eat it
in six months anyway.

This place could be
our own little wild kingdom.

Mr. Schreibvogel!

- Stan, we sent
our rent check in last week.

We got a problem.

Really?

Since when are flags
against the rules?

- Since I bought this building
two months ago.

- Pursuant to clause 14
- B
of your lease agreement,

banners and flags
will not be permitted.

Pursuant to my ass.

This wouldn't have
anything to do with my flag

being rainbow-colored,
would it?

- You have 24 hours
to take them down...

Or you're out.

Oh, you're cleaning.

That can't be good.

- You know, pricks like him
won't leave us alone

till we're back in the closet
or dead.

Now, I got a whole life now,
I got someone who loves me,

and I ain't going quietly.

It's just a flag, Joe.

- It's not just a fuckin' flag,
and you know it.

So what do you wanna do?

I don't know.

Maybe I'll go
to his office tomorrow.

And then what?

Maybe I'll bring my gun,

make him feel small.

All right,

but there's a cost
to going to war,

even if you didn't start it.

Don't it eat at you?

Of course it does,

but that landlord's
just pissed

'cause he's soft and bald

and has to go home
to his crusty old lady

while you get to be with
this fine piece right here.

Doesn't that
make you the winner?

- I just want a place
where we can live,

where we can be,

and no one can say shit
about it.

Don't we deserve that?

- Congratulations,
Mr. Schreibvogel.

What are you gonna do
with all this land?

I'm gonna build a zoo.

Sounds ambitious.

I'm gonna do this, Brian.

No one's gonna make me
feel small again.

- Guess you and Carole
didn't see eye to eye.

Probably should've called
first, huh?

Start shootin'!

Well, folks,

it's Joe Exotic here,

and we just got thrown out
of Big Cat Rescue

'cause Carole Baskin

would rather tear down
everything that I've built

than spend one minute
in the same damn room as me.

She won't even
look me in the eye

while she's fuckin' me!

So I got a message for you,

all you Carole haters
out there.

If you got any dirt
on this woman,

I wanna hear about it.

And if you happen to be
in Tampa, Florida,

I'm in room 151
at the Econo Lodge

at Dale Mabry Highway.

That's right, 151,
just like the liquor.

Cut it.

All right, let's find
some Wi-Fi and post that!

- Hey, this is good shit man.
That's strong!

They ain't seen nothing yet.

- Hey, maybe we should take
a breath, get something to eat?

I saw a Waffle House
a few blocks back.

Oh, fuck that.

If that goddamn bitch thinks
I'm finished with her here,

she's got another thing coming.

- Joe Schreibvogel was a guest
on your sanctuary tour today.

- Yes, but I didn't realize
at the time

'cause he was wearing a hat.

- During the tour,
he managed to sneak away

without your noticing

into a nonpublic area
of the sanctuary

where he could have harmed
the animals

that we have been sworn
to protect.

- I'm so sorry, I was just--
I was focused on the spiel.

- You violated the most sacred
duty that we have here.

It's your job
to protect the animals.

So I'm gonna have
to let you go.

What? Carole.

It's not open for discussion.

But that's not fair!

I've given two years
of my life to you for no pay!

- Yeah, but you're not smart.
You're not smart.

Hand in your shirt.

Oh, thank God.

Security said Joe went
without too much of a fuss.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.

- So I just received word
that Grigore Zaharia's

Class 1 wildlife permit
has been suspended

pending an investigation.

Now, who wants
to do the honors?

Allison, go.

- Whoo-hoo!
- Bye-bye.

- That's great.

Oh, yeah!

Good job, everybody.

What's up?

It's fine.

It's just,
in the past few months,

we've crossed two
of the guys off the list.

- Damn straight.
We should've got a cake.

Boom!

We're swatting at flies.

So much time and energy
burnt up

for such tiny victories,
you know?

Even if we got ten
of these guys in a year,

we would
barely be making a dent.

What are you saying?

We need to think bigger.

- We're doing everything we can
within the scope of the law.

- Well, then we need
to change the law.

There needs to be a law

against private ownership
of big cats in this country.

- Sure, that sounds great,
and my daughter

also wants a pony
for Christmas.

- It could be called
the--the cat law--

the big cat law--

the big cat amendment.

What's that sound?

Big cat amendment.

What is that sound?

I don't like that.

- Whoo-hoo!

This is crazy!

What? She came at me first!

Go lower!

Can't go below 500 feet.

Plus, there's people
down there.

- I don't give a--
I'm not gonna hurt 'em.

I'm just gonna
scare 'em a little.

Lower! Lower!

What's going on?

I don't know!

- Get the vet!
She's having a seizure!

Hurry.

The hell are you doing?

- I want her
to see my damn face!

Joe, sit down, you idiot!

No! No, grab on to my belt!

- You're gonna
get yourself killed!

- I'm gonna get killed
unless you

grab on to my belt
right now.

- Grab it!
- Jesus Christ!

- Carole Baskin,
you fuckin' bitch!

You see me now?

Fuck you!

Remember me!

Bitch!

You see Carole's face?

Oh, my God, I thought she was
gonna crap herself.

- She might have crapped herself.
- She did.

That was worth
every damn penny.

- Oh, Reinke, God damn it,
you ain't been with us long,

but you are ride or die.

- I'm glad you came, man.
- I am too, buddy. I am too.

Hey, John!

- What the hell
were you doing up there,

hangin' out the door
like a goddamn maniac?

I was trying to make a point.

- Yeah, well, you could've
gotten yourself killed.

The fuck you smilin' about?

- You sure sound like somebody
who gives a shit about me.

What, you got real feelings
in there for me?

Maybe.

So we doin' this thing?

- If you promise to stop
doing stupid shit,

then...yeah.

I guess we can give it a shot.

Fucking idiot.

How's the lion?

Touch and go.

Vet's optimistic,
so that's good.

How are you?

- I really think he's evil,
Howard.

Only an evil man would do
what he did today,

and it demands an answer.

I have to get him.

How are you gonna do that?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Well,

let's think of something
together.

Hmm?

I wanna help you.

I wanna join you here,

be part of the team.

Howard...

I really appreciate that,

but you've got
your own job,

and this is my problem
to solve.

- Your problems
are my problems.

Let's get him.

- Are you sure you wouldn't
hate seeing my ass

all day at the office?

You know I love your ass.

Nothing would make me happier.

The question you have
to ask yourself is,

should I bring the big guns?

Yes.

Who wants to hit the pool?

- I ain't wearing one
of them banana hammocks.

Who's that?

It's the tour guide.

The hell do you want?

- You said you wanted dirt
on Carole Baskin.

Well, here you go.