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1
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:15,647
TONIGHT YOU BE THE
RUSSIAN GYMNAST
2
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:19,385
AND I'LL BE THE OLYMPIC JUDGE.
3
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,819
AND IF YOU WANT A PERFECT SCORE,
4
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,287
WELL, I'M CORRUPTIBLE.
5
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:25,224
OKAY, THAT SOUNDS GREAT,
BUT, OOH, I'VE GOT AN IDEA!
6
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:28,860
HOW ABOUT I BE A GYMNAST
AND, UM, YOU BE PETE?
7
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,231
YOU MEAN, LIKE, A FIREMAN?
8
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,232
YEAH, EXACTLY.
9
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,767
FIREMAN PETE.
10
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:44,009
HEY, LOOK, IF YOU WANT
TO BE WITH PETE SO BAD,
11
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,977
THEN WHY DON'T YOU
GO FOR THE REAL THING?
12
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:48,414
YOU'RE SUCH A GENIUS! UH...
13
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,982
EXCEPT THAT PETE WOULD
NEVER CHEAT ON MARTI.
14
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,752
HE WOULDN'T BE CHEATING
BECAUSE THEY JUST BROKE UP.
15
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:54,920
GET OUT!
16
00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:57,423
NO, REALLY. REALLY,
THEY JUST BROKE UP.
17
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:58,924
NO, NO. GET OUT!
18
00:00:58,959 --> 00:00:59,925
WHAT?
19
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,527
NOW!
20
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:05,597
I HAVE TO BE ALONE,
TO THINK AND TO PLAN.
21
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:08,367
OKAY. ALL RIGHT. FINE, FINE.
22
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,436
I'LL BE FIREMAN PETE.
23
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,904
HELLO, I'M HERE TO
SAVE YOU FROM THE FIRE.
24
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,006
YEAH, IT'S OVER.
25
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,109
DEAL WITH IT.
26
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,389
BUT, HEY, YOU DID KEEP
MY ENGINE RUNNING,
27
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,380
AND FOR THAT I THANK YOU.
28
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,355
SO THERE I WAS.
29
00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:33,424
I TOLD MY SEX BUDDY,
"DEAL WITH IT. IT'S OVER."
30
00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:39,131
YOU THINK MARTI'S AT HOME
31
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:42,634
TALKING TO HER FRIENDS
ABOUT HOW SHE DUMPED ME?
32
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,636
NO, SHE'S WITH
NOMAR GARCIA PARRA.
33
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:47,505
SHE'S FORGOTTEN ALL
ABOUT YOU! HA HA HA!
34
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:50,942
WHOO-HOO! SCORE!
35
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,316
VERY GOOD, JOHNNY,
36
00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:01,987
BUT THE ADULTS ARE TALKING.
37
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,300
YOU KNOW, BERG, I
DIDN'T MAKE FUN OF YOU
38
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:06,335
WHEN ASHLEY
STARTED DATING NOMAR.
39
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:07,325
YEAH, YOU DID.
40
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,538
WELL, NOT IN FRONT OF YOU,
41
00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:11,843
AND I THINK THAT'S
THE DIFFERENCE.
42
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:26,344
WOULD YOU STOP PLAYING
WITH YOUR WEDDING RING?
43
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,514
SORRY, MAN.
44
00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:31,516
RING'S UNCOMFORTABLE, YOU KNOW?
45
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,362
I'M NOT USED TO WEARING IT YET.
46
00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:35,353
TAKES A WHILE FOR A DOG
47
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:37,388
TO GET USED TO HIS COLLAR, TOO.
48
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:40,792
MAN, THAT HURTS COMING
FROM TWO SINGLE GUYS
49
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:44,329
IN THEIR KITCHEN
ON A FRIDAY NIGHT.
50
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:47,665
IS IT FRIDAY NIGHT AGAIN?
51
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,201
WHAT HAPPENED TO US, HUH?
52
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:52,603
WE USED TO GO OUT TO CLUBS
AND MEET WOMEN EVERY NIGHT.
53
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,006
NO, WE DIDN'T.
54
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:58,310
WELL, WE USED TO
GO OUT TO CLUBS.
55
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,612
SOMETIMES... THERE'D
BE WOMEN THERE.
56
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,651
PETE, COME ON, LET'S
GO OUT TONIGHT, HUH?
57
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,686
LET'S GO OUT TO A CLUB.
58
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:11,356
IT'LL BE GOOD TO GET
OUT OF THE KITCHEN.
59
00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:14,559
AH, I'M JUST GOING TO
STAY HERE WITH JOHNNY.
60
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:16,294
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
61
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:44,789
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
62
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,793
I'M CONTEMPLATING
A TORRID AFFAIR
63
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,796
WITH A SWEATY
CONSTRUCTION WORKER!
64
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,297
HA HA HA!
65
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,399
WELL, YOU BETTER
MAKE IT THAT ONE
66
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,401
'CAUSE HELLO!
67
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,248
I KNOW. I'VE BEEN TRYING
68
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,150
TO GET HIS ATTENTION ALL WEEK.
69
00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:02,455
I'M NOT WEARING A BRA.
70
00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:08,513
OR YOU COULD TRY TALKING TO HIM.
71
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:11,582
NO, I COULDN'T DO THAT. I
WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
72
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,118
WELL, THINK FAST!
73
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,921
HEY, YOU! MY FRIEND
HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!
74
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,856
I AM NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN!
75
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,691
HEY.
76
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:22,560
SO, YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON ME?
77
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,263
OOH, SORT OF.
78
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:27,966
THIS IS KIND OF EMBARRASSING.
79
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:32,637
I'M NOT USUALLY ATTRACTED
TO MEN WITH MENIAL JOBS.
80
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:34,840
EXCUSE ME?
81
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,853
NO, NO, NO! NO, NO, NO!
82
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,711
IT'S JUST THAT, UM, I
LIKE INTELLIGENT PEOPLE,
83
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:43,148
AND YOU JUST DON'T USUALLY
FIND THEM ON ROAD CREWS.
84
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,357
I WAS JUST SAYING
WHAT WAS ON MY MIND.
85
00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:54,359
MEN USED TO LOVE
THAT I WAS HONEST.
86
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:55,994
JUST TRY BEING NICE.
87
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,729
HEY, I WAS SMILING.
88
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,297
NOT THE SAME!
89
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,567
LOOK, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW
MUCH THE HANGMAN SMILES,
90
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:05,270
YOU STILL WIND UP DEAD!
91
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,910
WOW! OOH! DON'T
YOU LOOK SMASHING!
92
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,779
Both: HA HA HA! THANKS.
93
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:18,516
YOU LOOK NICE, TOO, BERG.
94
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,120
THANKS.
95
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,757
PETE, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
96
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:28,260
HOW VERY, VERY, VERY SORRY I WAS
97
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:31,296
TO HEAR THAT YOU AND
MARTI HAVE PARTED WAYS.
98
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,542
THANKS, IRENE. IT'S
BEEN KIND OF TOUGH.
99
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:36,868
MAY SHE DIE A
PAINFUL, EARLY DEATH.
100
00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:44,209
SO, IRENE, YOU THINK
I LOOK NICE, HUH?
101
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,977
ANYWAY...
102
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,782
IF YOU EVER NEED A
SHOULDER TO CRY ON
103
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,919
OR A BRAIN TO INTERACT WITH
INSTEAD OF AN EMPTY HEAD...
104
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,999
IRENE, I APPRECIATE
IT, I REALLY DO,
105
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,967
BUT I DON'T WANT TO MISLEAD YOU.
106
00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,025
BREAKING UP WITH MARTI
107
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,971
DOESN'T MEAN WE'LL
EVER GET TOGETHER.
108
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:04,562
YOU'RE JUST MY NEIGHBOR,
AND ALMOST A FRIEND.
109
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:07,065
THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
110
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,433
IRENE.
111
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:09,734
IRENE!
112
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:13,004
DO YOU REMEMBER THE 2-FOOT RULE?
113
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,277
PETE, UH, JOHNNY'S WAITING.
114
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:23,581
HEY, BERG, CAN I TALK TO
YOU ALONE FOR A SECOND?
115
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:24,782
UH, YEAH.
116
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:28,019
WHAT?
117
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,621
HA HA HA! PETE'S
NOT READY TO COMMIT,
118
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:33,591
SO YOU'RE BACK IN!
119
00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:35,093
FORGET IT, IRENE.
120
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,595
WHAT WE HAD WAS
CHEAP AND MEANINGLESS,
121
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:39,675
AND YOU JUST THREW THAT AWAY.
122
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,099
YES, YOU'RE RIGHT.
123
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,268
I AM A WASTEFUL LITTLE WENCH,
124
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:45,437
AND I NEED TO BE PUNISHED!
125
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:46,537
STOP IT.
126
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,340
I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.
127
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:49,841
I'M NOT COMING OVER.
128
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:52,643
OH, THAT'S RIGHT,
BABY. PUNISH ME.
129
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:04,655
COME IN.
130
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,291
HEY, YOU READY?
131
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:08,293
YEAH. HOW DO I LOOK?
132
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:11,229
I'D LOSE THE FANNY PACK.
133
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,430
HEY.
134
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:14,565
HEY. WHERE YOU TAKING MY GUY?
135
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,068
OH, WE'RE GOING TO
THAT NEW CLUB, THE LINE.
136
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,404
ONLY THE REAL COOL
PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT IT.
137
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,872
PETE, DON'T TELL ME
138
00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:23,341
YOU'RE STEALING COOL
PEOPLE'S MAIL AGAIN!
139
00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:25,510
IT SOUNDS LIKE
SOMEBODY'S JEALOUS
140
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,479
THAT HER HUSBAND'S GOING OUT
141
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,447
WITH A COUPLE OF CHICK MAGNETS.
142
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,118
HA HA HA!
143
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,893
ALL RIGHT.
144
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:45,997
I WAS FEELING BAD ABOUT
GOING OUT IN THE PARTY PANTS,
145
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:49,067
BUT NOW YOU'RE JUST
GOING TO HAVE TO SUFFER.
146
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,774
HELLO? HA HA HA!
147
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,276
OH, HEY, ASH.
148
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,478
OH, YOU LIKE SOMEONE, HUH?
149
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,880
OH, IT'S NOT GOING WELL, HUH?
150
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,549
UH-HUH.
151
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,217
UH-HUH.
152
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,552
OH.
153
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,887
It was a total nightmare!
154
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,222
UH-HUH.
155
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:14,159
And this cute guy
asks me for directions...
156
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,928
OH, THAT'S A REAL
SHAME. I HEAR YOU.
157
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:20,231
I said sure 'cause I
am a nice Ashley...
158
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,933
SON OF A...
159
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,915
ASH, GET DRESSED.
WE'RE GOING OUT!
160
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,238
WHAT?
161
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,240
WELL, THEN TAPE "PROVIDENCE"!
162
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,082
WOW. VERY HOT GIRL.
163
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:44,422
I GUESS PEOPLE DON'T
GO OUT AT 7:00 ANYMORE.
164
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,563
Berg: GOOD EVENING, SIR.
165
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,498
ARE YOU ON THE LIST?
166
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,302
WELL, IF YOU'RE REFERRING
TO BOSTON'S MOST ELIGIBLE,
167
00:08:57,337 --> 00:09:00,371
THEN, UH, NO, SIR, I'M NOT.
168
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:01,839
WELL, IT'S EARLY.
169
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,708
I GUESS YOU GUYS
CAN COME IN ANYWAY.
170
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,477
20 BUCKS EACH.
171
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,844
OOH! $20?
172
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,879
THAT'S FINE. THAT'S FINE.
173
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:12,217
IS THAT LIKE A
PERMANENT MEMBERSHIP?
174
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,301
DOES THAT INCLUDE FREE DRINKS?
175
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,524
DRINKS ARE $6.
176
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,292
$6?
177
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,030
6 BUCKS FOR A
DRINK? WHAT A SCAM!
178
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,933
I KNOW A GREAT PLACE
WE CAN GET CHEAP BEERS.
179
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,736
WHEN WE COME BACK HERE,
WE WON'T HAVE TO DRINK.
180
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:33,616
THEY WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT 'EM.
181
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,384
YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE.
182
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,374
SOUNDS GOOD.
183
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,375
YOU COMING?
184
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,744
NO, WE FORGOT OUR CONDOMS.
185
00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:50,888
HEY, THIS PLACE GREAT OR WHAT?
186
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,224
I GOT ALL THIS FOR 2 BUCKS.
187
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,792
OH, YEAH!
188
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:58,163
IF ONLY THE BABES WE'RE
GOING TO MEET TONIGHT
189
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,165
COULD SEE US NOW, HUH?
190
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,732
JOHNNY. JOHNNY!
191
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,846
YOU PUT ONIONS ON OUR HOT DOG.
192
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,270
SO WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
193
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,250
WE'RE HOOKING UP
WITH BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.
194
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,585
HOW DOES SHARON FEEL
ABOUT ONION BREATH?
195
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,409
SHE HATES IT.
196
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,910
HEY, GUYS.
197
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:16,247
YOU HAVING A COUPLE
OF CURB BREWS
198
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,394
BEFORE YOU COMB FOR BETTYS?
199
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:21,752
YOU'RE SO OFF THE MARK,
I DON'T WANT TO COMMENT.
200
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,189
I'M GETTING KIND
OF EXCITED, THOUGH.
201
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,757
YOU AND ME, BACK ON THE PROWL.
202
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:30,961
I KNOW. IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE
WE'VE HAD TO CHARM THE LADIES.
203
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,841
THE BOYS OF BOSTON ARE BACK!
204
00:10:32,865 --> 00:10:34,799
COP! COP! COP!
205
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:39,103
UH, MY BAD. IT'S A TAXI.
206
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,110
UGH. I HATE THESE MEAT MARKETS.
207
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,513
COME ON, ASH. I
NEED TO FIND JOHNNY.
208
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,293
YEAH, BUT LOOK AT THAT GUY.
209
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:53,284
DO YOU THINK HE ACTUALLY
LOOKED IN THE MIRROR TONIGHT
210
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,421
AND SAID, "THE MESH
TANK TOP... YEAH!"
211
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,556
YOU KNOW, THIS COULD
BE A GOOD CHANCE
212
00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:00,891
FOR YOU TO PRACTICE
"THE NICE ASHLEY."
213
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,393
FINE.
214
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:05,162
NICE NIPPLE RING.
215
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:15,206
HE WAS COURTING YOU. SWEET!
216
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:16,541
HEY, THERE.
217
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,376
ARE YOU ON THE GUEST LIST?
218
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,211
UH, NO, BUT, YOU SEE,
219
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:23,848
MY HUSBAND LEFT HIS WEDDING
RING AT HOME WHEN HE CAME HERE,
220
00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:27,685
SO I'M JUST GOING TO GO IN,
KILL HIM, AND THEN WE'RE OUT.
221
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:31,055
WELL, YOU LOOK
HOT. WHAT THE HECK?
222
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,624
THANKS.
223
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,559
WHAT ABOUT MY FRIEND HERE?
224
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:37,228
YEAH, SOURPUSS CAN COME IN, TOO.
225
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,435
HEY, THIS IS A LONG
LINE. THIS IS A HOT CLUB.
226
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:51,276
HEY! NIPPLE RING.
227
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,778
NICE!
228
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:56,781
YOU KNOW, UM, I-I WAS
GOING TO GET ONE OF THOSE.
229
00:11:56,816 --> 00:12:00,117
INSTEAD I, UH, I
WENT FOR THE WATCH.
230
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,452
HEY, GUYS, GUYS,
231
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,954
LET ME DO THE
TALKING, ALL RIGHT?
232
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:05,356
YOU KNOW WHAT?
233
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,358
THE LAST TIME YOU SAID ANYTHING,
234
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,294
WE LOST THREE BEERS, ALL RIGHT?
235
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,296
JUST LAY LOW. WE'LL
TAKE CARE OF YOU.
236
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,264
HI, THERE. HI. REMEMBER US?
237
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,768
SURE. YOU WERE HERE WHEN
YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN IN.
238
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:18,603
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
239
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,438
DO NOT TOUCH THE ROPE!
240
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:22,440
MAN, YOU NEVER TOUCH THE ROPE.
241
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,942
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW
WHAT? LET ME HANDLE THIS.
242
00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,444
HI.
243
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,914
UH, MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL FAN?
244
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,416
YEAH.
245
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,429
RED SOX SHORTSTOP
NOMAR GARCIA PARRA...
246
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,885
HEARD OF HIM?
247
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,087
YEAH.
248
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:39,034
YEAH, YEAH, WELL,
HERE'S THE THING.
249
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:45,630
MY GIRLFRIEND
DUMPED ME FOR HIM, SO...
250
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:51,836
YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO LEARN
ABOUT NAME-DROPPING.
251
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:54,271
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST LET US IN, HUH?
252
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,906
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
253
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,141
ARE YOU WITH HIM?
254
00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,109
NO CHANCE.
255
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:02,279
TOO BAD. COME ON IN, GERM.
256
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:06,250
MAN, YOU GOT TO
HAVE THE THREADS.
257
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,727
SHARON, WE'RE NEVER
GOING TO FIND JOHNNY.
258
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:17,729
LET'S JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
259
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:20,164
NO, I'M NOT LEAVING
UNTIL I FIND HIM
260
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,933
AND RAM THIS SYMBOL OF
OUR LOVE DOWN HIS THROAT.
261
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,702
OH, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
262
00:13:24,738 --> 00:13:27,104
I THINK THAT GUY
IS HEADED MY WAY.
263
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,617
OKAY, OKAY, REMEMBER... NICE.
264
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,675
HEY, EXCUSE ME.
265
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,511
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
APOLOGIZE. I NOTICED YOU, TOO.
266
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,780
I'M KIND OF IN A HURRY.
267
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,015
OH, TIGER, BUY ME A DRINK FIRST.
268
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,384
LADY, MOVE!
269
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:45,189
DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER
HUMILIATING SUGGESTIONS?
270
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:46,935
TRY NOT TO ACT SO DESPERATE.
271
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:51,829
I WANT TO MEET A MAN!
272
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,843
YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE UPTIGHT.
273
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,900
YES, OF COURSE I'M
UPTIGHT. I'M UNCOMFORTABLE.
274
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:57,535
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
IF YOU WERE AT THE BAR
275
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,504
AND NOBODY NOTICED YOU?
276
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,106
YOU WANT TO BE NOTICED?
ALL RIGHT. THEN COME ON.
277
00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:04,008
WAIT. WHERE ARE WE GOING?
278
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,855
WE'RE GOING TO DANCE. NO,
NO. I DON'T REALLY DO THAT.
279
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,556
YEAH, I DON'T REALLY CARE.
280
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,514
HEY, SWEET THINGS.
281
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:15,319
OKAY, JUST LISTEN TO THE MUSIC.
282
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,354
DO WHAT I DO, OKAY?
283
00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:24,295
OKAY, THAT'S GREAT.
284
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:27,698
LET'S JUST TRY IT WITHOUT
THE BOARD UP YOUR BUTT.
285
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:31,302
I'M SORRY. I TOLD YOU.
I DON'T REALLY DANCE.
286
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,315
COME HERE. JUST LOOSEN UP.
287
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,546
WHOO!
288
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,383
Man: YEAH!
289
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:54,091
WHOA.
290
00:14:57,797 --> 00:15:01,799
Woman: WHOO-HOO!
291
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:18,415
YEAH, THEY LOVE
ME, THEY LOVE ME!
292
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:30,060
DOES IT GET ANY LOWER THAN THIS?
293
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:33,163
WELL, LET'S SEE. WE'RE
DRINKING IN A GUTTER.
294
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:34,832
I DON'T KNOW.
295
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:37,267
I'M HAVING A GOOD
TIME WITH MY BUDDIES...
296
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:40,771
SITTING BACK, ENJOYING A
FEW, HAVING SOME LAUGHS.
297
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:43,608
GENTLEMEN, TO A PERFECT EVENING.
298
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,977
YEAH, FORGET ABOUT IT.
299
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:50,715
EW... EW, EW, EW, EW, EW.
300
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:54,685
THERE'S A BANDAGE IN MY HOT DOG.
301
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:03,861
OH, OH, OH, OH, OH!
302
00:16:03,897 --> 00:16:05,440
BERG, BERG, THROW
THIS AWAY FOR ME.
303
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,031
OH, NO!
304
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:08,310
HEY, HEY, HEY,
DON'T THROW IT OUT.
305
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:09,834
JUST BREAK OFF THE END.
306
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,541
BOY, YOU ARE
HAVING A GOOD NIGHT.
307
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,743
IT AIN'T OVER YET.
308
00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:22,613
AFTER THIS, I GET TO GO
HOME TO MY GORGEOUS WIFE,
309
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:26,050
AND IF I PLAY MY CARDS RIGHT,
SHE'LL LET ME PLAY WITH...
310
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:28,553
MY RING!
311
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,923
I LOST MY RING. SHARON
IS GOING TO KILL ME.
312
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,604
MAN, AREN'T YOU GLAD
313
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:38,029
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
GO HOME TO SOMEBODY
314
00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:40,531
WAITING THERE TO
TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF?
315
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,536
NOT REALLY.
316
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,572
ME NEITHER.
317
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:50,875
WELL, LET'S GO HOME.
318
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,076
YEAH.
319
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,147
OH, TAXI!
320
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,961
LOOK AT ALL THESE PHONE NUMBERS.
321
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:12,029
WHICH ONES ARE
YOU GOING TO CALL?
322
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:14,309
NONE. I'M GOING TO SELL
THEM TO A TELEMARKETER.
323
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:15,600
WAIT A SECOND.
324
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,802
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED
GUYS FAWNING ALL OVER YOU.
325
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:20,805
YEAH, I THOUGHT I DID, TOO,
BUT AS I WAS WRITHING AROUND
326
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,407
ON THAT BEER-SOAKED
DANCE FLOOR I REALIZED...
327
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,821
MR. RIGHT PROBABLY
WASN'T ONE OF THE GUYS
328
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:28,090
YELLING AT ME TO
TAKE OFF MY TOP.
329
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:31,015
ASH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
FIND MR. RIGHT IN SOME CLUB.
330
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,784
I MEAN, ALL THOSE GUYS ARE
SO DESPERATE AND LONELY.
331
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,753
YOU NEED A GUY
WHO'S GOT CHARACTER...
332
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,321
WHO'S STRONG ENOUGH TO WITHSTAND
333
00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:38,856
THE CONSTANT NAGGING.
334
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,859
WELL, THERE JUST AREN'T A
LOT OF JOHNNYS OUT THERE.
335
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:44,228
YEAH. GUESS I'M LUCKY.
336
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:47,264
YOU PROBABLY WANT TO
GET DOWN THERE AND KILL HIM.
337
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:50,200
GOT THAT RIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.
338
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:58,843
HONEY... THANK GOD YOU'RE HOME.
339
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:01,646
THERE WAS THREE OF
THEM, AND THEY JUMPED ME,
340
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:04,448
AND THEY DIDN'T WANT
MY WATCH OR MY WALLET.
341
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:07,043
THEY JUST WANTED
MY WEDDING RING.
342
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:11,255
OH, THANK GOD.
YOU BOUGHT IT BACK.
343
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:20,865
I LOVE YOU.
344
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:25,302
HOW COME?
345
00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:27,304
BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?
346
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:29,606
WHEN I WAS OUT I
REALIZED THAT THERE ARE
347
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,476
A LOT OF LONELY DESPERATE
PEOPLE OUT THERE,
348
00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:34,123
AND I'M NOT ONE OF THEM,
349
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:35,357
SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
WEAR YOUR WEDDING RING,
350
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:36,814
THAT'S FINE.
351
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,650
THE IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT YOU'RE MINE.
352
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:43,654
OH, HONEY, THIS IS SO NICE.
353
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:47,491
I WAS WORRIED THAT...
HEY, YOU WENT OUT?
354
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:50,494
OH, YEAH, YEAH... TO FIND YOU...
355
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:52,496
BUT THEN ASHLEY AND I
356
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:56,233
WOUND UP DANCING
WITH, LIKE, 50 GUYS.
357
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:58,669
YOU KNOW, I'D FORGOTTEN
HOW SINGLE GUYS
358
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,738
KEEP THEMSELVES
IN SUCH GOOD SHAPE.
359
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,088
BOY, IT WAS FUN,
360
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,489
AND I WOULD'VE NEVER GONE OUT
361
00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:09,091
HAD YOU NOT FORGOTTEN
YOUR WEDDING RING.
362
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:11,315
YOU KNOW WHAT?
363
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,951
I THINK I'M GOING TO WEAR
THIS THING FROM NOW ON.
364
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,053
OH, BABY, THAT'S
OKAY. I TRUST YOU.
365
00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:18,055
HALF THOSE GUYS WERE MARRIED.
366
00:19:18,091 --> 00:19:21,058
HEY, LOOK AT THAT, HUH? IT
REALLY DRESSES UP A HAND.
367
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:24,328
OH, YEAH. IT DOES LOOK NICE.
368
00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:28,132
OH, YOU KNOW WHO HAD A
REALLY NICE RING? CHUCK.
369
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,902
I'M GOING TO HEAR ABOUT
THIS FOR A LONG TIME, AREN'T I?
370
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,904
UNTIL DEATH DO US PART.
371
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,339
YEAH.
372
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:39,777
HEY, YOU KNOW, THAT
WASN'T SUCH A BAD NIGHT.
373
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,812
WE MET A COUPLE OF LADIES.
374
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:45,216
WHO CARES IF THEY WERE COPS?
375
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:48,152
HEY, YOU KNOW, MINE
GAVE ME HER BADGE NUMBER.
376
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,364
SHOULD WE CALL THEM?
377
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,588
NO. I THINK WE
SHOULD PLAY IT COOL.
378
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,891
WAIT TO SEE THEM AT THE HEARING.
379
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,093
THE BOYS OF BOSTON
ARE BACK, THOUGH, RIGHT?
380
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:59,730
RIGHT. WHOO!
381
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,043
HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
382
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,733
TO MARTI'S TO BEG
HER TO TAKE ME BACK.
383
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:05,236
HEY, COME ON. LOOK,
DON'T DO THAT, ALL RIGHT?
384
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:06,648
MARTI NEVER WANTS
TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
385
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:08,183
SHE'S IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER MAN.
386
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,674
LOTS OF COUPLES HAVE PROBLEMS.
387
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:13,277
OH, STOP IT. LISTEN, I
KNOW YOU'RE HURTING,
388
00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:14,979
AND I KNOW THAT IT'S HARD, OKAY?
389
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:17,414
BUT YOU CAN'T JUST GO
CRAWLING BACK TO SOMEBODY
390
00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:18,727
WITH YOUR HAT IN
YOUR HAND, YOU KNOW?
391
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,028
YOU DESERVE TO BE WITH SOMEONE
392
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:23,687
WHO CARES ABOUT YOU AS MUCH
AS YOU CARE ABOUT THEM, PETE,
393
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:27,091
SO JUST STAY STRONG.
394
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:28,959
I'M GOING TO BE
RIGHT HERE WITH YOU.
395
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:33,898
THANKS. YOU'RE RIGHT.
396
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:38,335
MAN, I WISH I HAD YOUR STRENGTH.
397
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:40,604
DON'T WE ALL.
398
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:43,240
GOOD NIGHT.
399
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,541
GOOD NIGHT, PETE.
400
00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:02,559
YOU PUT ONIONS ON OUR HOT DOG.
401
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,196
YOU PUT ONIONS ON OUR HOT DOG.
402
00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:07,731
THERE'S A BANDAGE IN MY HOT DOG!
403
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,796
THERE'S A BANDAGE IN MY HOT DOG!
26093
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