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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:16,082 HEY. 2 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,317 HEY. 3 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,363 WHAT'S WITH THE BEER? 4 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,253 WOMEN. 5 00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:22,687 WHAT'S WITH THE NECK BRACE? 6 00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,756 WOMEN. 7 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:25,824 LET ME GUESS. 8 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,499 HOT ONE TO THE RIGHT! HOT ONE TO THE LEFT! 9 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:33,999 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. SHE-DEVIL... FRONT AND CENTER. 10 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,634 I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR THIS STORY. 11 00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:38,870 RIGHT AFTER I'M DONE TELLING YOU MINE. 12 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:40,872 SO, IT ALL STARTED BECAUSE OF MY PROBATION. 13 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,908 THEY ASSIGNED ME TO THE ONE GROUP OF PATIENTS 14 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:43,983 THAT I CAN NO LONGER HARM. 15 00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,388 I'M GONNA TAKE THREE. 16 00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:01,160 AND YOU'RE GOOD? 17 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,071 OOH, BERG, DON'T LET HIM RAISE YOU. 18 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:15,774 HE'S GOT A KING-HIGH STRAIGHT. 19 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:19,344 DAMN, HE HAS A GOOD POKER FACE! 20 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:21,425 HERE. I BROUGHT YOU SOME COFFEE FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD. 21 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,515 SO, HOW ARE YOU HANDLIN' YOUR PROBATION? 22 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,984 AWESOME. OTHER THAN JOHN DOE 1 AND JOHN DOE 2, 23 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:29,154 I HAVE THE THIRD-BEST LIFE HERE. 24 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:32,291 EXCUSE ME, IS THERE A MR. ANDERSON IN HERE? 25 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:35,327 OH, YEAH, HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME. RIGHT HERE. 26 00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,897 OH, GOD! 27 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,266 OH, I'M SORRY. DID YOU KNOW HIM? 28 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:46,138 NO, I'VE GOT TO THAW SOME MEAT FOR DINNER. 29 00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:48,006 OKAY, WELL, ON THAT NOTE, 30 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,509 MORTICIA, GOMEZ, HAVE A NICE DAY. 31 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:55,147 HI. I'M DR. BERGEN. 32 00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:56,748 OH, HI, TARA ROBERTS. 33 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,318 I WORK AT THE FUNERAL HOME. I'M HIS RIDE. 34 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:03,088 SO, YOU WORK AT A FUNERAL HOME, HUH? 35 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:04,590 UH-HUH. 36 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:08,427 I see dead people. 37 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:12,063 I hear that all the time. 38 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:18,203 DID THIS... THIS DOESN'T CREEP YOU OUT AT ALL? 39 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:21,173 NO. I'VE BEEN HIT ON BEFORE. 40 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,576 YOU'RE DOING FINE. 41 00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,146 HEY, HAVE YOU EVER DRUNK 42 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,581 MAPLE SYRUP STRAIGHT FROM THE TREE? 43 00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:31,049 UH, NO. 44 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:34,620 MY ROOMMATE AND I... WE HAVE A FRIDGE. 45 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,088 I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 8:00! WE'RE GOING TO VERMONT! 46 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:40,225 UH... WOW, YOU, UH... 47 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,461 Y-YOU DON'T WASTE ANY TIME, DO YA? 48 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,230 NO, NO. IF THERE'S ONE THING YOU LEARN FROM THIS JOB, 49 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,709 IT'S THAT LIFE IS VERY SHORT. 50 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,833 YOU HAVE TO APPRECIATE EVERY MOMENT. 51 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:52,103 BESIDES... YOU HAVE NIC EYES. 52 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,584 AND YOUR LIPS AREN'T BLUE. 53 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,875 OH. 54 00:02:56,910 --> 00:03:00,279 SORRY, BOYS, SHE LIKES 'EM LIVE. 55 00:03:07,286 --> 00:03:08,497 HEY, JOHNNY, WHAT'S WITH THE FLOWERS? 56 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,699 WOMEN. 57 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,724 BACK OF THE LINE, PAL. 58 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,460 SO, ANYWAY, VERMONT WAS AMAZING. 59 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:19,331 TARA AND I... WE DRANK SYRUP STRAIGHT FROM A TREE 60 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,367 AND THEN WASHED THAT BACK WITH MILK 61 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,635 RIGHT FROM THE COW'S TEAT. 62 00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:25,915 SO, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 63 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,951 WHAT, YOU MET A BEAUTIFUL GIRL, 64 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:30,320 YOU SUCKED SOME SAP, AND FONDLED A COW. 65 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,879 BUT WAIT. IT GETS WEIRD. 66 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,158 WELL, IT BETTER. 67 00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,382 SO FAR, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. 68 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,451 HELLO, IRENE. HEY, IRENE. 69 00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:44,455 HEY, LOOK, IT'S "THE BERGY-WERGY BUGLE BOY" AND "COMPANY PETE." 70 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,247 IRENE, THAT'S A NICE JACKET YOU GOT THERE. 71 00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:04,142 I THINK JOHNNY HAS A STORY HE'D LIKE TO SHARE. 72 00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:10,748 HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? 73 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,817 STUFFING ENVELOPES FOR THE CHARITY FUNDRAISER. 74 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:15,220 DON'T KISS ME. YOU'LL STICK. 75 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,789 CHARITY... GOOD, KEEP THAT IN MIND 76 00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,669 BECAUSE I HAVE SOME NEWS. 77 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:22,594 I WAS UPSTAIRS WORKING... YOU KNOW, BEING VERY CAREFUL... 78 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,429 TAKING EVERY SAFETY PRECAUTION. 79 00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:27,032 TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, I BLEW UP A WALL. 80 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,667 WHAT? 81 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:33,838 SO, UNTIL I FIX IT... HI, ROOMY! 82 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,176 I WON'T BE A BOTHER. 83 00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:41,413 I'M JUST GONNA GIVE THE CATS A TOUR. 84 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,388 NO! 85 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,101 OH, WHY NOT? IT'S ONLY ONE NIGHT. 86 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,791 THINK OF IT AS AN EXTENSION OF YOUR CHARITY WORK. 87 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:56,761 YOU'RE ALWAYS DOING STUFF TO HELP THE UNFORTUNATE. 88 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,097 HUH? Who's more unfortunate than Irene? 89 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:03,435 COULDN'T WE JUST INVITE A CARNIVAL FREAK TO STAY WITH US? 90 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,471 OKAY, OKAY! 91 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,941 HEY, IRENE, LET ME SHOW YOU WHERE WE KEEP THE GUEST TOWELS. 92 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,411 SO, WHERE ARE YOUR OTHER 37 CATS? 93 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,557 OH, UPSTAIRS. THEY'L L BE FINE. 94 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:17,115 I JUST BROUGHT "CHAIRMAN MEOW" 95 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,951 AND "PURR-SCILLA, QUEE N OF THE DESERT" 96 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,864 BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO BREED THEM. 97 00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,448 DO YOU HAVE A PILLOW? OH, AND SOME SINATRA? 98 00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:41,073 OH, GOD, FINISH! 99 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,749 ARE THEY DONE? 100 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,485 I THINK... 101 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,954 BUT IT TAKES A WHILE FOR THEM TO DISENGAGE. 102 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,789 OKAY, NOW I'M UP. 103 00:05:57,824 --> 00:06:01,193 IRENE, IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP? 104 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,727 I DON'T SLEEP AT NIGHT. 105 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:05,175 I'M NOCTURNAL, EXCEPT, I'M NOT NOCTURNAL TOTALLY 106 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:08,300 BECAUSE I DON'T SLEEP IN THE DAY, EITHER. 107 00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,635 HEY, YOU GUYS WANT TO PLAY "SORRY"? 108 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:14,172 I'M PLAYING IT RIGHT NOW. 109 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,208 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 110 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,910 UP TO IRENE'S TO START FIXIN' HER WALL. 111 00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:21,413 PERHAPS ADD A LITTLE PADDING. 112 00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,584 WHAT ARE ALL THESE GREETING CARDS? 113 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,386 OH, I DON'T JUST WORK IN A GREETING CARD STORE. 114 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:30,422 IT IS MY PASSION, AND ONE DAY 115 00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,824 I HOPE TO HAVE MY OWN LINE OF SALUTATIONS. 116 00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,737 HERE. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 117 00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:37,729 "NO BARS OR GUARDS OR PRISON DOGS 118 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,231 "CAN KEEP MY LOVE AWAY. 119 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,866 "MAKE IT YOUR GOAL TO STAY OUT OF THE HOLE. 120 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,401 HAPPY FATHER'S DAY." 121 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,673 IT'S FOR MY DAD. 122 00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:51,243 Y-Y-YOUR DAD'S IN JAIL? 123 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:55,213 NO, SILLY, HE'S OUT ON BAIL PENDING TRIAL! 124 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,951 WHAT DID HE DO? 125 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:02,587 OH, IT WAS JUST SOME MIX-UP OVER SOMEBODY'S CREDIT CARD. 126 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,023 HE WAS USING IT. HE THOUGHT IT WAS HIS. 127 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:08,360 IT'S HAPPENED BEFORE. I WISH I GOT TO SEE HIM MORE. 128 00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:11,463 YEAH. I DON'T GET TO SEE MY DAD MUCH, EITHER. 129 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:12,697 OH. 130 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:15,066 WHAT DO THEY THINK HE DID? 131 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:18,537 OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. HE JUST WORKED A LOT. 132 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:21,039 I HARDLY SAW HIM GROWING UP. 133 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,740 I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. 134 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,742 I GUESS WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT. 135 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,856 HEY, DID YOUR DAD MISS YOUR BALLET RECITAL? 136 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,146 YES. BUSINESS TRIP. 137 00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:29,881 PETTY THEFT. 138 00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:35,220 SO, IRENE ACTED WEIRD AND WAS ANNOYING... 139 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,488 YEAH, THAT'S ORIGINAL. 140 00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:41,092 SO, I HAVE A STORY THAT YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD. 141 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,594 I'M AT THE FIRE STATION. 142 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,430 ARE YOU GONNA EXPLAIN THE NECK BRACE IN A TIMELY MANNER? 143 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,500 I WAS BUT NOW, LET'S TAKE A JOURNEY. 144 00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:50,502 SHALL WE? 145 00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:53,605 HEY, ROOK... 146 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,541 PICK THE BLUEBERRIES OUT OF MY PANCAKES. 147 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,176 I CHANGED MY MIND. 148 00:07:58,212 --> 00:08:00,345 YOU KNOW, GUYS, I'M SICK OF THIS. 149 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,647 'CAUSE I'M THE ROOKIE DOESN'T MEAN I SHOULD GET ABUSED! 150 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,516 I FEED YOU GUYS, I PICK UP AFTER YOU... 151 00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:06,651 DO YOU THINK THIS PLACE CLEANS ITSELF?! 152 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:11,489 OH, NO, CHUCK, MOMMY'S MAD! 153 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,192 OKAY, OKAY, FINE. 154 00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:17,295 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU JUST LOST TV TIME. 155 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,865 GUYS... 156 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,435 I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO OUR NEW VOLUNTEER. 157 00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:24,769 MEET MARTY. 158 00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:27,539 HER DAD WAS FRANK DELANEY FROM THE 62nd. 159 00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:31,343 LET'S GO, GUYS! 160 00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:39,817 ALL RIGHT, ROOK... 161 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,487 I, UH, I THINK I SHOULD EXPLAIN 162 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,634 HOW THINGS WORK AROUND HERE. 163 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,269 YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE SOME NOTES. 164 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:49,261 YOU MIGHT WANT TO BALL IT UP AND SHOVE IT. 165 00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,829 I BEG YOUR PARDON? 166 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,164 BITE ME, LADY. 167 00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:58,002 OKAY, YOU'RE VERY CRASS. 168 00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,138 I KNOW HOW THINGS WORK AROUND HERE. 169 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:03,174 I WANT THE NEXT SPOT ON THE TRUCK, AND YOU'RE IN MY WAY. 170 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,777 THAT'S RIGHT.T HAT'S RIGHT, I'M IN YOUR WAY. 171 00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:08,613 I'M GONNA STAY IN YOUR WAY, SO YOU BETTER GET USED TO IT. 172 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:12,584 DO YOU STAND THIS CLOSE TO OTHER FIREMEN? 173 00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:15,487 OH, GOD, I'M SORRY. 174 00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,756 OH, LOOK WHO'S NO LONGER IN MY WAY! 175 00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,227 AND THEN, SHE BEAT YOU UP, 176 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,664 AND THAT'S HOW YOU GOT THE NECK BRACE. 177 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,866 WHAT, DO YOU HAVE A DATE WITH THAT COW? RELAX! 178 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,703 HEY, CAPTAIN, I FINISHED AXIN' THE TRUCK. 179 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,438 DO YOU WANT TO SEE? 180 00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,139 PETE. UH-HUH? 181 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:38,443 YOU DO KNOW THAT'S JUST BUSY WORK, RIGHT? 182 00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,856 OH, YEAH, YEAH, OF COURSE, I DO. 183 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,192 I WAS JUST FINDIN' SOMETHIN' TO DO 184 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:46,050 UNTIL IT WAS TIME TO... COUNT THE BOOTS. 185 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,051 HEY! 186 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,354 PHLEGM! 187 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:51,834 YOU FORGOT TO CLEAN THE SIDE MIRRORS. 188 00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:54,125 LUCKY I'M HERE TO ADD THE OTHER CHEEK 189 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,560 TO YOUR HALF-ASSED JOB. 190 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,563 OKAY, DO YOU HEAR THE MOUTH ON HER? 191 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,199 DOES THAT BOTHER ANYBODY ELSE? 192 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,434 SHE'S A PEACH. 193 00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,436 WHAT IS WITH YOU GUYS?! 194 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,549 WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HER A BAD TIME? 195 00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:09,674 BE PATIENT. WE'RE JUST WAITIN' FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT. 196 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,554 I'M NOT DOIN' ANYTHING NOW.LET'S GO. 197 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,110 NO. 198 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,780 SHE'LL GET HERS AT SATURDAY'S TRAININ' EXERCISES. 199 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:18,249 WE RIGGED THE PRESSURE ON HER FIRE HOSE. 200 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,229 SHE MIGHT BE A LITTLE OFF TARGET, 201 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,773 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 202 00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:26,758 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 203 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,728 THERE'LL BE SO MUCH PRESSURE IN THAT HOSE, 204 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,464 THE WHOLE SQUAD COULDN'T HOLD ON TO IT. 205 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:35,132 THAT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR. 206 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,079 THE TRAINING'S DIFFERENT OR WOMEN. 207 00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:39,415 SHE GETS TO CARRY 50 POUNDS UP A LADDER 208 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,105 WHEN YOU CARRY 100. 209 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:45,276 NO WAY! I HAVE TO CARRY 100 POUNDS UP A LADDER?! 210 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,245 THIS AFFECTS ALL OF US. 211 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,659 SHE'LL PROBABLY MAKE CAPTAIN BEFORE I DO! 212 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:53,385 THE DOG WILL MAKE CAPTAIN BEFORE YOU DO. 213 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,565 LOOK, WE FIGURE A LITTLE HUMILIATION 214 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:58,189 WILL ENCOURAGE HER TO DO WHAT WE ALL WANT, 215 00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,504 AND THAT'S QUIT. 216 00:11:05,730 --> 00:11:07,831 THAT'S SUCH A COLORFUL STORY. COULD YOU... 217 00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:11,135 SKIP OVER THE BLAH, BLAH, BLAH AND GET TO THE NECK BRACE? 218 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,637 BERG, I'M TRYING TO SPIN A YARN HERE. 219 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,039 JOHNNY'S INTO IT. 220 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,608 DO I STILL HAVE VANILLA IN MY HAIR? 221 00:11:17,643 --> 00:11:20,478 FINE. TELL YOUR STORY IF IT'S MORE INTERESTING. 222 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,080 THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 223 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,748 SO TARA AND I... WE WERE ALWAYS DOING SOMETHING WILD. 224 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:27,452 SHE'S FREE AND EXCITING AND WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING. 225 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,502 Tara: AAH! DO THAT AGAIN! 226 00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:32,923 Berg: THAT WASN'T ME. 227 00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:42,500 THANK YOU, BUT WE DON'T NEED TURN-DOWN SERVICE. 228 00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:47,105 ASHLEY, THIS IS TARA. TARA, THIS IS ASHLEY. 229 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,039 OOH. MAN! 230 00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:52,376 IF I WERE INTO GIRLS, I'D BE ALL OVER YOU. 231 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,480 IS SHE NOT GREAT OR WHAT? 232 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,216 OH, I'VE GOT TO RUN, BUT THE BEAUTY OF A HEARSE... 233 00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:00,318 I CAN ALWAYS USE THE CAR POOL LANE. 234 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,788 YOU'RE ON PROBATION. 235 00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:07,458 DON'T YOU THINK THAT THIS IS A TAD BIT IRRESPONSIBLE? 236 00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:08,726 NO, I DON'T. 237 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:11,195 ASH, I AM TIRED OF BEING RESPONSIBLE. 238 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,364 AT LEAST WHEN I WAS IRRESPONSIBLE, 239 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,932 I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME. 240 00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,400 I MEAN, LOOK AT ME. 241 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,068 I'M HAPPY! 242 00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:21,205 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THAT YOU SAW ME HAPPY? 243 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:24,108 THE "BAYWATCH" MARATHON. 244 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,110 YEAH. 245 00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:30,914 OKAY, MAYBE I JUST NEED TO GET TO KNOW HER BETTER. 246 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,082 LET'S DO IT TONIGHT. 247 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,252 BERG, I WAS JUST BEING POLITE. 248 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:37,988 THIS IS THE WAY TARA AND I DO THINGS... SPONTANEOUS! 249 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,458 ACTUALLY, I HAVE A DATE WITH NOMAR TONIGHT. 250 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,826 WE'LL DOUBLE DATE! TARA'S A HUGE BASEBALL FAN. 251 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:44,328 SHE EVEN MET HIM ONCE. 252 00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:47,231 REALLY? WELL, NO, NOT OFFICIALLY. 253 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,834 SHE WAS ACTUALLY STREAKING ACROSS THE FIELD AND SECURITY 254 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,871 TACKLED HER BEFORE SHE COULD INTRODUCE HERSELF. 255 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:02,846 OH, AND HERE'S A PICTURE OF ME WITH MY DAD AT THE AIRPORT. 256 00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:06,750 HE HAD A LAYOVER IN TOWN. 257 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,353 YOU LOOK LIKE HIM. 258 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,121 SHARON, I'M REALLY GLAD 259 00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:14,158 I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU BETTER THEE LAST FEW DAYS. 260 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,428 I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH MY NEIGHBORS. 261 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:20,097 I WONDER WHY. 262 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,666 I AM REALLY GLAD 263 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:24,202 THAT WE'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW EACH OTHER, TOO. 264 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,570 REALLY? 265 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,272 YES! I ADMIT WHEN JOHNNY FIRST INVITED YOU TO STAY, 266 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,773 I WASN'T THRILLED. 267 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,643 BUT NOW, I'VE COME TO SEE PAST YOUR... 268 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,812 YOUR... 269 00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:37,548 I MEAN, THE OTHER SIDE WHEN YOU'RE NOT... 270 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,917 HOW DO I SAY THIS? 271 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:43,921 YOU FOUND THE NOUGAT UNDER MY NUTTY COATING. 272 00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:47,858 I'D HAVE GONE WITH "BAMBOO UNDER MY FINGERNAIL." 273 00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:50,528 AND LOOK! I MADE YOU A CARD FOR YOUR CHARITY 10K. 274 00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,508 SEE, IT'S THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE. 275 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,012 "DON'T BE A DOOFUS... LET'S ALL FIGHT LUPUS." 276 00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,414 HEY, IRENE, I GOT A CARD FOR YA. 277 00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:01,205 "FOUR DAYS AGO, I FIXED YOUR WALL, 278 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,974 YET EVERY DAY, YOU COME TO CALL." 279 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,710 JOHNNY, KNOCK IT OFF. 280 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:09,413 OH, OH, I BET YOU TWO WOULD LIKE TO BE ALONE. 281 00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:10,914 YES, IRENE, WE WOULD. 282 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:13,050 I'LL JUST BE IN THE LITTLE GIRLS' ROOM. 283 00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:16,019 PERFECT TIME TO TINKLE. 284 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,568 LOOK, SHARON, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. 285 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:22,226 SHE COMES DOWN HERE EVERY 10 MINUTES! 286 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,928 SHE HAS TO COME DOWN AND CHECK ON THE CATS! 287 00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:26,664 THEY'RE TRYING TO MAKE BABIES! 288 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,999 ON MY BATHROBE! 289 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:32,703 Tell Irene to stop comin' down here! 290 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:35,973 LOOK, I WILL NOT! I'VE REALLY GOTTEN TO LIKE HER! 291 00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:38,409 THE OLD SHARON WOULDN'T HAVE HAD A PROBLEM WITH THAT! 292 00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:41,379 LATELY, I LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR CHARITY WORK 293 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,359 AND YOUR PUTTIN' UP WITH PEOPLE, 294 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,327 AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE! 295 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:48,519 WELL, I AM A BETTER PERSON NOW. 296 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,422 WELL STOP IT!, 297 00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:53,068 THAT'S NOT THE WAY OUR RELATIONSHIP WORKS. 298 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,203 I AM THE GOOD COP AND YOU ARE THE BAD COP. 299 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,127 WHY CAN'T WE BE GOOD COP, GOOD COP? 300 00:14:57,163 --> 00:15:01,131 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT... A WORLD FULL OF GOOD COPS?! 301 00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,178 FINE. FINE. WE'LL BOTH BE GOOD COPS 302 00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:05,314 BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE THE BAD GUY. 303 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,671 JOHNNY, I JUST... 304 00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,872 YOU GONNA BE LONG? I COULD TAKE A SHOWER. 305 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,044 GET OUT! 306 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,547 WHAT? 307 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,048 LEAVE US IN PEACE. 308 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,895 I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS, 309 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,419 BUT YOU DON'T BELONG HERE. 310 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,030 SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO? 311 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,440 I KNOW IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY, 312 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,875 BUT WE HAVE ONE MORE TRAINING EXERCISE TO DO. 313 00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:47,110 NOW, YOU TWO KNOW THE DRILL. 314 00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:49,747 PETE, TAKE THE WINDOW ABOVE THE DOOR, 315 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,282 MARTY, THE ONE TO THE LEFT OF THAT. 316 00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:55,586 THAT MEANS THE CRISPY FAMILY LIVES IN THE ONE ABOVE THE DOOR. 317 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,088 CAPTAIN, ARE CRISPY FAMILIES FUNNY? 318 00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,357 NO, THEY ARE NOT. 319 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,425 OKAY... 320 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,828 ON THE COUNT OF THREE, RUN TO YOUR HOSES. 321 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:09,299 1... WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HOLD ON A SECOND. 322 00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,413 SORRY, CAPTAIN. GOMER NEEDS HELP. 323 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:14,805 HOSE SQUIRT WATER, FIRE GO AWAY. 324 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:18,242 ALL RIGHT... LET ME USE THAT ONE. 325 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:19,277 NO! 326 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,311 MOVE! 327 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,414 WHAT'S GOING ON, DUNVILLE?! 328 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:24,915 Chuck: STOP FOOLIN' AROUND. 329 00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:26,484 YOU RUIN EVERYTHING. 330 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:29,253 NO WONDER EVERYBODY AT THE FIRE HOUSE LAUGHS AT YOU. 331 00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:30,855 FINE. 332 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:34,024 TAKE THAT HOSE. YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE. 333 00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:36,226 Captain: OKAY, ON MY COUNT. 334 00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:38,429 1... 2... 335 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:41,532 3! HEY! 336 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:47,104 AAAAAAHHHHHH! 337 00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:48,205 WHOA! 338 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,941 I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT! 339 00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:58,916 ALL RIGHT! GO! LET'S DO IT! 340 00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,350 HEY, WHERE'S NOMAR? 341 00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:02,431 THEY WENT INTO EXTRA INNINGS. 342 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,054 WHY ARE WE AT THE AIRPORT 343 00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,967 AND WHERE HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN? 344 00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:07,991 WE HOPPED A FENCE, RAN ONTO THE RUNWAY, 345 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,227 AND LAID UNDERNEATH A PLANE AS IT TOOK OFF. 346 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,663 YOU SEE, TARA KNOWS EXACTLY HOW CLOSE WE CAN GET 347 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,031 WITHOUT ACTUALLY GETTING... 348 00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:16,033 CAUGHT UP IN THE LANDING GEAR. 349 00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:19,202 WELL, I... I CAN'T TAKE THE CREDIT. 350 00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:21,271 MY FRIEND BILL TAUGHT ME. 351 00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:23,273 GOD REST HIS SOUL. 352 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,320 SO, IS THIS WHEREWE'RE EATING DINNER? 353 00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:28,245 I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG. I LOVE A GOOD $12 BAGEL. 354 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,914 NO, I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA. 355 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,049 WAIT HERE. I'LL SURPRISE YOU. 356 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:34,184 YOU ALWAYS DO. 357 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,519 OKAY. 358 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,621 AW, ISN'T SHE GREAT? 359 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:38,889 SO... 360 00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:41,024 SO CAREFREE, YOU KNOW, SO ADVENTUROUS. 361 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:44,261 YOU'RE SICK OF HER. NO, I'M SCARED OF HER. 362 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:50,501 SHE DRAGGED ME ONTO A RUNWAY. 363 00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:52,135 I DON'T LIKE TO FLY. 364 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:55,706 I LIKE EVEN LESS TO BE LANDED ON. 365 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,076 THIS IS SUCH A MESS. 366 00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:01,044 YOU KNOW, I... 367 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,080 WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?! GOD! 368 00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:05,716 OH, BERG, COME ON, IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE. 369 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:09,019 YEAH. YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH A REALLY ROUGH STRETCH LATELY 370 00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:11,421 AND YOU'RE JUST REACHING OUT FOR SOMEONE 371 00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:12,857 TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. 372 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:15,659 WELL, IT'S NOT WORKING. 373 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:19,530 HEY... IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW, 374 00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:22,766 THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE PERSON YOU CAN COUNT ON FOR HAPPINESS. 375 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:25,068 YEAH. 376 00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:30,307 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! 377 00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:31,775 WHAT... NO! 378 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,911 I THOUGHT YOU... WERE THE ONE I COULD RELY ON! 379 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,813 I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU! 380 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:39,282 YOU HAVE TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF, YOU MORON! 381 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:46,189 SHE MADE A PASS AT ME, AND I SAID, "NO!" 382 00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:52,930 SO, NOBODY'S GOT ANY IDEA WHAT HAPPENED OUT THERE TODAY? 383 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,433 FINE. WELL, MAYBE SOMEONE WILL REMEMBER 384 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:59,469 WHEN YOU'RE ALL ON YOUR 5th MILE. 385 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:02,239 I WANT EVERYONE ON THE TRACK IN 10 MINUTES. 386 00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:04,942 UH, CAPTAIN... 387 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,581 WHAT... WHAT ABOUT ME? 388 00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:12,149 YEAH. 389 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,752 YOU'RE RIGHT. 390 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,755 RUN CAREFULLY. 391 00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:23,027 YOU WERE SMART TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, DUNVILLE. 392 00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:28,899 YOU'RE A REAL GENIUS, CHEESE WAD. 393 00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:32,135 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! 394 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,871 YOU'RE MY PROBLEM! 395 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,306 YOU HAD NO BUSINESS MAKING A FOOL OUT OF ME! 396 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,943 OH, YEAH, YOU LOOKED SO STUPID WATCHING ME BANG 397 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:41,579 FROM TREE TO TREE LIKE GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE! 398 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:45,082 YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT WOMEN AROUND HERE? 399 00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:48,418 I'M NEVER GONNA PROVE MYSELF IF YOU'RE RUNNING INTERFERENCE! 400 00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:51,088 I DON'T NEED ANYBODY TO BE MY BIG BROTHER! 401 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,334 UNBELIEVABLE... YOU'RE RUDE AND YOU'RE UNGRATEFUL. 402 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,437 FROM NOW ON, YOU CAN FIGHT YOUR OWN BATTLES 403 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:57,238 BECAUSE I'M NOT WATCHING YOUR BACK ANYMORE! 404 00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:58,262 GOOD! 405 00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:00,397 FINE! 406 00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:04,034 STARTING NOW. 407 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,239 FINALLY! 408 00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:11,675 I WOULD HAVE TOLD THAT STORY, "SOME GIRL HURT MY NECK." 409 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,176 A LOT MORE CONCISE. 410 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,079 THE FLOWERS ARE NOT FOR SHARON, RIGHT? 411 00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:16,546 NO. NO, IRENE. 412 00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:19,883 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL FROM THE MORGUE? 413 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,987 LAST TIME I SAW HER, SHE WAS DRIVING OFF A CLIFF 414 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:25,689 IN A CONVERTIBLE WITH HER BEST FRIEND. 415 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,658 I'M SORRY, MAN. 416 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:30,427 IF I COMFORT YOU, YOU WON'T KISS ME, WILL YOU? 417 00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,639 OOH, VISITOR! OH! 418 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,140 YOU! 419 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,975 YEAH. 420 00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:48,479 IRENE, I FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED 421 00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:51,047 AND I MADE YOU A CARD, 422 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,385 SO, HOPEFULLY, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO FORGIVE ME. 423 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:57,655 "I'M SORRY I KICKED YOU OUT. IT WAS WRONG OF ME TO SHOUT. 424 00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:00,257 "SO IF YOU CAN FORGIVE, I'LL LET YOUR CATS LIVE 425 00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,926 IN MY BATHTUB OR MAYBE MY CLOSET." 426 00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:09,266 NOW I FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT CHAIRMAN MEOW DID IN YOUR SHOES. 427 00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:12,703 WHAT DID HE DO IN MY SHOES? 428 00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:15,472 GOODBYE! 28838

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