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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,227 How do you do? 2 00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:25,525 Mr. Rob Zombie feels it would be a little unkind 3 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:28,903 to present this picture without just a word of friendly warning. 4 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:33,449 We are about to unfold the story of El Superbeasto, 5 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,243 a man of action. 6 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:38,913 It is one of the strangest tales ever told. 7 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:41,749 I think it will thrill you. 8 00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,960 It may shock you. 9 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,921 It might even horrify you. 10 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:51,217 So if any of you feel that you do not care to subject your nerves 11 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,760 to such a strain, 12 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:55,847 now's your chance to, uh-- 13 00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,683 Well, we warned you. 14 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:19,847 All right now, bitches, listen up. 15 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:23,518 The director's on the set. The director is on the set! 16 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:27,271 Howdy-doodly-doo, ladies? Gather round, gather round. 17 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,899 Big Time Movie Casting is now in session. 18 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:34,904 I've got a very special porno-- I mean art film-- to shoot today. 19 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,782 So, time to get a-crack-a-lackin'. 20 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,952 You heard him. Get your asses a-crack-a-lackin'! 21 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:44,580 Now just to let you know, I'm not one of those shallow Hollywood types 22 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,207 that casts based on looks. 23 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:47,875 I'm all about pure talent. 24 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,919 I want the audience to believe in the characters, 25 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,921 to experience the emotions, 26 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,632 breathe in the spicy meatball man, 27 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:55,925 as they breathe life itself. 28 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,010 All right, Granny, 29 00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,930 tell me a little about why I should ignore the fact 30 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,015 that you're, like, a thousand years old. 31 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:07,770 In 1910, I attended the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts 32 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:11,941 - on full scholarship, winning the... - Next. 33 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,651 ...stunning portrayal of Blanche Dubois 34 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,153 Oh my God! 35 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:19,365 I know I'm, like, totally like a star. 36 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,284 I know it! 37 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,368 Perfect perfect! 38 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,412 You're hired. Next. 39 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,915 I dig into the inner texture of the soul of the character 40 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,376 and reflect society's issues with women... 41 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,753 - ...and their hatred of the vagina. - Next! 42 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,130 - Let me tell you-- - No. 43 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,965 - I'd really like to-- - Next! 44 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,967 - People make me nauseous. - No way! 45 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,468 - Hello! - Nope. 46 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,053 - Who do I have to fuck-- - No. 47 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,889 - Oh, Edgar, why did you-- - Ugh! 48 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,599 - I'm ready for my-- whoa! - Next! 49 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,184 Well, hello, honeypants. 50 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:50,187 I think a good tan is as important 51 00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,522 as a good script, you know? 52 00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:54,233 Also, I can't really read so good, 53 00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:57,153 but I can do 300 crunches without stopping. 54 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,530 Words are so overrated. 55 00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:03,284 But on the other hand, tight abs-- so underrated. 56 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,369 Oh, oh my God. 57 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:06,996 Quiet on the set! 58 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,122 Man: Sound speeds. 59 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:11,876 "Big Spicy Meatball Macho Man," take one. 60 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,836 Man #2: And action! 61 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,173 Uh, line. 62 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,301 "Mama mia, how about some a-delicious sauce-- " 63 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,720 Yeah yeah, I got it. 64 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,223 Man #2: Okay, and we're still rolling, mate. 65 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:30,061 Mama mia, how about some delicious sauce 66 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:33,022 for the spicy a-jumbo meatballs? 67 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,858 Ow! What are you, like totally weird? 68 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,027 That's, like, so hot! 69 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:41,364 If it's not a-hot, how am I gonna melt-a the cheese? 70 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,658 Luigi, she wonder why it is too hot. 71 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,326 The cheese a-not gonna melt! 72 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:54,001 Aw, shut up a you face. 73 00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:56,837 God! 74 00:04:56,922 --> 00:05:00,091 That's what I call a spicy meatball! 75 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:03,427 - Oh, Luigi! - Oh! 76 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,770 - Mama mia! - You like-a Luigi? 77 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,855 Yes, a-you do! 78 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:17,942 Mama mia! 79 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:20,653 Ahhhh! 80 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,614 How do you like-a my canole now, eh? 81 00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:27,618 I'm gonna fill you up with my cream! 82 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:33,082 Oh, Mama. The big finish-- she's inside! 83 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,627 Get ready! Holy monkey! 84 00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:38,170 That wasn't in the script! 85 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,178 Here we go again. 86 00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:55,563 Please tell me that was good for focus. 87 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,064 Yeah, focus was good. We got it. 88 00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,107 Check that gate, baby! 89 00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,109 Yeah, good gate. 90 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,237 That's a wrap. Make sure you hand in your paperwork 91 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:06,866 to Production before you leave. 92 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:11,120 Whoo! After a hard day of directing-slash-acting, 93 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,081 there's only one way I like to chillax. 94 00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:15,916 Titty bar! 95 00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:20,087 Now let's see. Confidence? Check. 96 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,590 Frighteningly chiseled good looks? Check. 97 00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,550 Noticeable obscene bulge 98 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,469 emanating from the lower region? 99 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:27,762 Cat: What the fuck? 100 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,555 A check-a-doodle-doo. 101 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,099 Later, G. 102 00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,809 Keep it real, playa. 103 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,396 Hey, I'm here to kill the bats. 104 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:41,025 Carry on, my simpleminded, minimum-wage friend. 105 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,527 Yeah, I only kill these things on the side. 106 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:46,947 I got me an application in to the Dinky Donuts. 107 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,366 I know I know, you want an autograph. 108 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:50,493 Oh, that'd be great. 109 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,453 Sorry, I don't sign. 110 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:54,872 I feel it damages my artistic credibility. 111 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:57,166 - What? - Oh, fine. 112 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,919 Take a headshot, and here, a Superbeasto bumper sticker. 113 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,588 Put it on your shit car. Now lay off! 114 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,006 Cow-a-yay-ya! 115 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,551 It's about time for my theme song, don't you think? 116 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:10,012 Maestro, if you please. 117 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:14,141 # Left upon a darkened stair # 118 00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:15,184 # A baby thick with body hair # 119 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,186 # A wrestling family heard the cries # 120 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,479 # And learned him how to murderize # 121 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:19,939 # He soon grew up and up and up # 122 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,232 # And now this not-so-little pup # 123 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,025 # Had found a knack for pounding guts # 124 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,485 # While pounding booze and pounding sluts # 125 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:25,986 # Assholes, better watch your ass # 126 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,571 # Here comes a mangler with a mask # 127 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:28,906 Ring announcer: His hands are like hammers. 128 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,200 Each one is too big. All surrender. 129 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,452 He renders them tenderized meat! 130 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:36,705 Men yelling: Ram 'em, jam 'em, block 'em, clock 'em! 131 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:41,127 # El Superbeasto! # 132 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:46,298 # El Superbeasto! # 133 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:49,969 Woman: # El Superbeasto! # 134 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,225 Oh, shit! 135 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,727 Hey, man, what the hell? 136 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,063 I get my hands on you, I-- 137 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,691 Gee, wipers-- whoo hoo hoo! 138 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:16,245 Hiya, Beasto. Good to see you back. 139 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,873 Well, it's good to see your back too! 140 00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:22,585 - Or should I say crack? - Oh, Beasto! 141 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:29,175 Nice rack, buddy. 142 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:33,262 Houston, we no longer have a problem. 143 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,893 Time for a little hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd. 144 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,854 Get it? "The Shining"? 145 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,272 Hilarious. 146 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,274 A fucking comedian. 147 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,317 What'll it be, Beasto? 148 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:49,236 I ain't in the mood for tired '80s references, man. 149 00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:51,280 Make it the Ethel Merman. 150 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,741 And because I'm a man of superior taste, 151 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:57,661 I will take an order of your tasty hot wings. 152 00:08:58,663 --> 00:08:59,663 Doh! 153 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,375 Sorry, was this seat taken? 154 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:32,655 Yello, Beasto World Enterprises. 155 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:36,158 Beasto, I'm in position. Operation Iron Eagle is a go. 156 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,119 Yeah, that's not really gonna work for me. 157 00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,663 Can we pencil this in for next Thursday? 158 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,582 - Are you in a bar? - No, I'm not in a bar! 159 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,542 I'm entering a bad cell area. 160 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,211 I might lose-- 161 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:48,254 Suzy? 162 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:51,590 That was my agent. I'm working a whole synergy thing 163 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:54,510 with a win-win crossover demographic branding thing. 164 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,095 You wouldn't understand. 165 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,264 Woman: Achtung, blondie! 166 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,849 - No running in the halls! - Hiya! 167 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,477 Take that, Aryan assholes! 168 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,312 What in the name of the Fuhrer's head-- 169 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,278 Gotta stay sweet. 170 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:18,242 O.M.G. Giant spiky iron ball? 171 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,868 So cliché. 172 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,746 I hate to waste you, sweetie, but it's all in the name of freedom. 173 00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:32,756 Uh-oh. 174 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,470 Feet, start moving! 175 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,349 Whoa, Mama! 176 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:48,022 I bet MacGyver never had anything like this next to his ta-tas! 177 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:52,276 Weee! 178 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,280 Hey, Murray, baby. Did you miss me? 179 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,824 Yes, of course I missed you. 180 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,827 I missed you like the stars miss the moon. 181 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:04,038 Murray, you need a girlfriend. 182 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,665 Hmm. If only I could think of someone. 183 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:11,086 I was thinking-- I mean, I thought of someone-- 184 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,129 Hold that thought. 185 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,173 We better make like a banana and split, baby. 186 00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:15,382 Uh, okay. 187 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:28,020 Hey, man, what's a girl gotta do to get a theme song around here? 188 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,689 # Suzi # 189 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:35,319 # Where you running to with Hitler's head? # 190 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:39,490 # Watching you grow from a little child # 191 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:43,327 # To the girl with the ass that drives them wild # 192 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:47,706 # Did they try to fit you in a box? # 193 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:51,460 # Cleaning up dishes and sucking on cocks # 194 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:56,215 # Was never enough to make you smile # 195 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,550 # What the fuck's up with your eye? # 196 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:03,847 # But nobody cares when you're getting' all wet # 197 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:08,060 # Something about your titties that makes 'em forget # 198 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,520 # And you know you got a mission # 199 00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:13,774 # To waste every shitbag you meet # 200 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,444 # Suzi X # 201 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,243 # Oh, Suzi, what have you-- # 202 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,453 # What, have you built yourself a robot, baby? # 203 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,455 # What, have you built yourself a horny robot # 204 00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:31,458 # That can change into all sorts of vehicles? # 205 00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:36,713 # Oh, Suzi X, the X is for X-tra bonus! # 206 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:40,592 # I got to get into your groove. # 207 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:47,558 Hi, I'm El Superbeasto, and I always use 208 00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:51,478 - Dandruff Away shampoo... - Wow, this is embarrassing. 209 00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,897 It's my commercial. 210 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,316 On the TV, right up there. 211 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,193 ...have any more flakes on my clothes. 212 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,362 People thought I either didn't shower 213 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,406 or had a bad coke problem. 214 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,991 Announcer: May cause anal bleeding, penis shrinkage, migraine headaches, 215 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,909 and nipple crumbling. 216 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,745 You got a problem, Rover? 217 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,248 Go blow yourself, has-been. 218 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,167 Ooh, easy, Beasto. 219 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:17,129 Not now, darling. I need to smash a little fuckface. 220 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,848 Oh my God, you killed him! 221 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,641 Calm down, folks. 222 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:33,312 You can't do any real damage to a werewolf without silver. 223 00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,568 The kid doesn't look so good. 224 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,945 No worries. He's fine. 225 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,864 Nothing to see here. 226 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,742 - Oh, silver-- not the silver. - Back to your drinks. 227 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,620 - Oh, Beasto! - Hey, bumper pool. 228 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:50,662 I'm next! 229 00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,047 Oh, yeah. 230 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,216 Mmm. 231 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,010 Women, women everywhere, 232 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,471 but none of them bear the mark. 233 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,307 My army of video voyeur bats are everywhere, 234 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,683 and I can spy on them all! 235 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:14,228 I can see them in their showers, 236 00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:17,564 in their boudoirs, even on the can. 237 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:25,030 Where are you, my future queen of evil? 238 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,616 Ah, look who is in the paper! 239 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,868 Give me that, you silly noodle-ass! 240 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:32,204 Steve Wachowski? 241 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:35,123 How many times do I have to tell them it's Dr. Satan? 242 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,794 Dr. Satan! Dr. Satan! 243 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,463 Steve Wachowski is no more. 244 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,049 There there. Who's the big man? 245 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,634 I told them. 246 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,844 I- I- I told the editors. 247 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,264 I even legally changed my name. 248 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,641 It's not you, it's them. 249 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,060 I am evil, aren't I, Otto? 250 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:58,438 - Really really scary? - Yes yes. 251 00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,482 We all tremble at your very name. 252 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,902 - You do? - And by midnight tonight 253 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:06,071 so will the rest of the world. 254 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,698 Do tell, Otto. 255 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:11,785 Tell me again how I will gain all the sudsy powers of hell! 256 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,620 Oh God, here we go again. 257 00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:16,498 Now pay attention, because this is serious shit. 258 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,669 # Find the woman with the devil's mark # 259 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,170 # On her backside # 260 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,339 In the Book of Revelations the Number of the Beast 261 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,842 Is 600 and three-score six-- oh yeah! 262 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,386 # Bring her back here for a meatpole ride # 263 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:32,014 "Here" is an adverb of location referring to this castle. 264 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,809 "Meatpole" is an adjective describing the kind of ride. 265 00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:38,145 # Make her your unholy bride # 266 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:41,064 Marriage is a contractual union generally recognized by society, 267 00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:44,276 religion, and/or government. In other words, legalized fucking! 268 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,903 # Then you will be transmogrified # 269 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:50,032 Into one giant fierce horrifying Dr. Satan 270 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:53,702 with all the sudsy powers of hell. 271 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,704 # Backside, meatpole ride # 272 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,040 # Unholy bride, transmogrified # 273 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,125 # If all these things should coincide # 274 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,377 # Y'all motherfuckers better run and hide # 275 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,713 # From one giant, fierce, horrifying Dr. Satan # 276 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,923 # With all the sudsy powers of hell inside # 277 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,219 # Well, all right! # 278 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:15,724 All the sudsy powers of hell! 279 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,436 I will be kicking some major ass, buster! 280 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,521 Hurry, Otto, to the joystick! 281 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:27,861 Ladies and gentlemen, the Haunted Palace is proud to present-- 282 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,285 Miss Velvet von Black. 283 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:44,294 # She's the girl you read about in girlie magazines # 284 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:47,297 # While you've got your wiener in your hand # 285 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:51,760 # She is more addictive than a mountain of crack # 286 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,597 # Velvet, Velvet von Black # 287 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:59,184 # Every fella gives the old thumbs up when she is near # 288 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,603 # Melons that could feed a pack # 289 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,105 # Of bears for a year # 290 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:06,775 # Miles of tits and a garden of ass # 291 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:10,529 # Velvet makes you harder than a calculus class # 292 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:13,865 # She could suck the gay right off # 293 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:17,411 # Of a painting of a unicorn # 294 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:21,456 # She could fuck you right in half # 295 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,834 # Her cans are posable # 296 00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:27,796 # That makes them hosable # 297 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,589 # Two, three, four # 298 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:33,009 # She'd be fun to lick like a philatelist stamp # 299 00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:36,805 # Especially if you like the taste of kerosene lamps # 300 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:40,475 # Did I forget to sing about her monstrous rack? # 301 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,103 # Velvet, Velvet von Black # 302 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:47,858 # If you want to meet her for a casual screw # 303 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:52,154 # Don't get shocked when you get balls of royalest blue # 304 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,657 # She will steal your cash and shove a shiv in your back # 305 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:59,536 # Velvet, Velvet von Black # 306 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:03,081 # Funbags, meatballs # 307 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:06,835 # Love stones, yabos # 308 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:12,507 # Velvet, Velvet von Black. # 309 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,263 Oh oh oh, is that it, Otto? 310 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,640 The mark-- I think I see the mark. 311 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,393 I think that mark could be due to G-string chafing. 312 00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,854 Otto, you must fetch her for me. 313 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:30,192 That could be the mark of my unholy bride! 314 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,612 Just when I've almost perfected my soufflé. 315 00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,782 Listen, you, you wouldn't even be able to say soufflé 316 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,201 if I hadn't put that smart screw in your head. 317 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,912 I can always take it out, you know, 318 00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:44,206 send you back to the jungle. 319 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,626 You remember the jungle, don't you? 320 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,592 Not the jungle! There's no cable in the jungle! 321 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,887 Are we on the same page, monkey? 322 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,765 Yes yes, master, yes. 323 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:04,768 Now huff it out of here, gold brick! 324 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:08,355 Ooh! Ooh! Ahh! Ahh! 325 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,326 It's hot out. 326 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:25,121 Tomorrow's gonna be even hotter, 327 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:26,915 they say. 328 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,709 Yes, hot weather happens in the summer. 329 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,801 See the game last night? 330 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:41,763 A real white-knuckler. 331 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,182 That Puerto Rican kid 332 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:46,810 can really hit. 333 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,698 Okay, then. 334 00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:01,032 Here we go. See ya. 335 00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,909 Ah, finally. 336 00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:05,078 Ooh! Ooh! Ahh! Ahh! 337 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,709 I think I left a nickel onstage. 338 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:14,796 Consider it my donation to the Sad-Ass Ho Club. 339 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,506 Ay! What did she say? 340 00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,842 I said "sad ho," 341 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,552 you sad-ass deaf ho. 342 00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,763 Funny! 343 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,349 Goddamn wedgies up in my pussy and shit. 344 00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:39,154 Excuse me, but I didn't see no sign saying "dumb-ass ape wanted." 345 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,989 How charming. 346 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,992 All right. Here we go. 347 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,328 Keep it simple. No fancy stuff needed. 348 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,622 After all, she's only a stripper. 349 00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,457 You're a world-famous man of action. 350 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:51,917 No need to be nervous. 351 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:55,587 Hello, Miss von Black? 352 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,005 Otto: Come on, get in there. 353 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,343 Excuse me? Didn't catch that. 354 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,595 Otto: Come come come! 355 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,014 Come in? I don't mind if I do. 356 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:09,017 I hope you're not decent! 357 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:12,145 Yowza! 358 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:14,606 Hey, should I leave or join in? 359 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,819 I'm just gonna go. 360 00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:23,907 Come on, Beasto. Flowers? Beer hat? 361 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,035 Stop thinking with your brain and start thinking with your c-- 362 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,537 Do I look like a wheelbarrow? 363 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,039 Get your hands off me! 364 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,123 Did you say something? 365 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,500 Negative. 366 00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:36,127 Velvet: Hello, will somebody get a monkey off a bitch? 367 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:43,093 Take your stinking paws off her, you damn dirty ape! 368 00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:46,346 Now that's a little derivative, don't you think? 369 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,274 That is one kinky broad. 370 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:07,075 Hello, am I in for some hot monkey love? Hmm? Is that it? 371 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:10,078 Would you keep quiet? This is humiliating enough. 372 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:13,081 What would Penelope say if she knew I was with someone like you? 373 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,457 Be-atch, your shit should be honored. 374 00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:17,085 I bet if I save Velvet from that screwy ape 375 00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:19,170 she'll love me long time. 376 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,506 But my order of hot wings is almost up, 377 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:24,092 and I do love the hot wings. 378 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:26,469 Draping my ass over your hairy-ass fucking shoulders 379 00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:28,388 like I was a mink-ass stole and shit. 380 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:32,100 - Mink stole? More like a stanky mole. - Motherfucker! 381 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,601 If you want to scratch this here, 382 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,103 you better watch your ass mouth! 383 00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:37,731 Oh, but she does have an amazing ass. 384 00:22:37,815 --> 00:22:40,108 And those jumbo jiggly-wigglies! 385 00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,693 The only thing that comes close 386 00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:43,653 is the bleu cheese they give you with the wings. 387 00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:45,113 You see, the wings are spicy, 388 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,991 and the bleu cheese cools them off just so. 389 00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:51,202 Madam, you repulse me. 390 00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:55,540 Hey, monkey, where's your organ grinder? 391 00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:58,126 I find that very hurtful. 392 00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,670 Oh, boo hoo. You know what else is hurtful? 393 00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:03,006 Your thumb all up in my ass. 394 00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:05,008 My thumb is not in your ass! 395 00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:07,469 Well, why not? What are you, queer? 396 00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:17,979 Aw! I'll save the day. 397 00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:21,608 Celebrity coming through. 398 00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:23,109 Out of the way, lard-ass. 399 00:23:23,194 --> 00:23:25,779 Grab my car, pronto. I'm in a hurry. 400 00:23:25,863 --> 00:23:28,656 Hey, get to the back of the fucking line! 401 00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:31,785 People, people, I only have so many headshots. 402 00:23:31,869 --> 00:23:35,163 Motherfucker, I don't want this! 403 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,583 Fine. Here's a free copy of my new CD, "Beasto Crankies." 404 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:40,543 It's a full 40 minutes of phony phone calls. 405 00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,837 Hi, I'm calling from the bank. 406 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,672 Woman: Beasto, nigga, I know it's you! 407 00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:48,218 No, it's not Beasto. I'm calling from the bank. 408 00:23:48,302 --> 00:23:50,804 Beasto, you hear me? 409 00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:52,514 Stop calling my ass. 410 00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:54,182 - I have some-- - Beasto-- 411 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,768 Banking business to-- 412 00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:02,190 Now I'm off to see Suzi X. 413 00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:04,025 What a dickhead! 414 00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:05,568 Thank you! 415 00:24:09,907 --> 00:24:14,577 # Explosion! Hey, look at that bunch of zombies # 416 00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:18,164 # I think they're Nazis, that one had a tongue # 417 00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:20,333 # She throws a thing, it blows up # 418 00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:22,418 # But a bunch get through # 419 00:24:22,503 --> 00:24:25,713 # Why does a zombie need a scarf? # 420 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:29,217 # She turns left and some don't make it # 421 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:33,138 # Zombie Nazis fucking with my day now # 422 00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:36,391 # Here they come, time to put on lipstick # 423 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,726 # That's not safe while you're driving # 424 00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,603 # And here comes a train # 425 00:24:40,688 --> 00:24:44,315 # Sweet bleeding Christ, she fucking jumps the train! # 426 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:49,362 # Look at that asshole, what's he supposed to be? # 427 00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:53,366 # Oopsy, hundreds of people dead # 428 00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:56,411 # She got away and everything is great # 429 00:24:56,495 --> 00:25:00,248 # Are you shitting me? Here comes more of them # 430 00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:04,252 # Zombie Nazis blocking up the road # 431 00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:08,131 # Now the chase is done so we can end this song. # 432 00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:13,261 Okay, I'll make you a deal. 433 00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:16,556 You surrender the head of the Fuhrer, okay, 434 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,018 and we promise we will show you mercy. 435 00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:21,269 That's the best I can do. 436 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:24,314 Oh, I love it when you boys talk all nasty Nazi to me. 437 00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:26,691 I get all crazy inside. 438 00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:29,861 - Now, who wants a little head? - I do, I do, I do! 439 00:25:29,945 --> 00:25:31,654 - Uh-oh. - What was that, Murray? 440 00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:35,283 Oh, the flu, that's what I meant. I think I'm getting it. 441 00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:38,077 - Get the Fuhrer's head, Hans, Wilhelm! - Jawohl! 442 00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:41,289 Get the Fuhrer's head. Show the Nazis how to do it, please. 443 00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:48,004 Hold me tightly, big strong paisan! 444 00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:50,632 Holy crap! 445 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:53,176 Zip it and start spinning, pussycat! 446 00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:56,804 # Zombie Nazis getting shot to ribbons # 447 00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:59,390 # Ooh-ooh # 448 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:02,393 # Nice # 449 00:26:05,981 --> 00:26:09,817 # Zombies melting. # 450 00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:11,319 Oh, God. 451 00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:13,279 Cow-a-ya-ya! 452 00:26:13,364 --> 00:26:14,906 Beasto, what are you doing here? 453 00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:18,326 - Hold this. Hah! - Hey, I recognize this dude. 454 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:19,410 He's the Little Tramp! 455 00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,038 He's hysterical. 456 00:26:22,122 --> 00:26:23,331 He's taller than I thought. 457 00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,333 What's up, bro? What's the dealio, yo? 458 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,418 I need your help with a little problem. 459 00:26:27,503 --> 00:26:29,128 I mean, it's barely even that, really. 460 00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:31,339 - Let's call it a situation. - Beasto, man, 461 00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,424 don't waste my time. Is this about pussy? 462 00:26:33,509 --> 00:26:35,301 - No. - Poontang? 463 00:26:35,386 --> 00:26:36,344 - Nada. - Tool shed? 464 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:38,221 - Nein. - Cockpit? 465 00:26:38,305 --> 00:26:39,347 - Nope. - Love box? 466 00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:40,682 - Negative. - Fur patch? 467 00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:42,350 - No. - Bearded clam? Nipsey Russell? 468 00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:43,768 Fish patty? Panty hamster? 469 00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:45,353 Vertical bacon sandwich? 470 00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:47,355 - No ma'am. - Okay, I'll help. 471 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:49,440 You didn't say bat cave. 472 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:50,650 What did you say? 473 00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:51,776 I said, 474 00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:53,653 it seems a crafty monkey with a big screw in his head 475 00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:56,864 kidnapped this sweet, innocent little village girl against her will, 476 00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:58,825 in front of my very eyes. 477 00:26:58,909 --> 00:27:01,160 The balls. 478 00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:04,080 Primate kidnappers? Sounds groovy, baby. I'm in. 479 00:27:04,164 --> 00:27:07,083 But if you're just trying to get into said village girl's knickers, 480 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:10,211 then you are gonna be the sorry chimp, buster. 481 00:27:10,296 --> 00:27:11,379 Dynamite! 482 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:14,382 Find out what tree the smelly ape is hiding in and hit my digits. 483 00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:17,260 - It's easy as pie. - Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. 484 00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:18,386 What exactly are you gonna do? 485 00:27:19,596 --> 00:27:22,098 For shizzle. I'm gonna keep it real, talk to my peeps, 486 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:24,142 get the 411 from my boys back in the hood, yo. 487 00:27:24,226 --> 00:27:27,020 Oh, and here's your pickled Fuhrer. 488 00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:32,400 All right, Shitler Youth, it's your lucky day! 489 00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:34,986 You want it? Here it is. Come and get it! 490 00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:36,946 Agh! My Fuhrer! 491 00:27:37,031 --> 00:27:38,823 I will save you! 492 00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:43,953 At last, mein Fuhrer, you are home! 493 00:27:44,038 --> 00:27:46,497 All hail the Fuhrer! 494 00:27:46,582 --> 00:27:48,708 Our fearless leader has returned! 495 00:27:48,792 --> 00:27:52,253 Whoo! 496 00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:57,675 I think you're gonna like this new design. 497 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:02,096 Mein Fuhrer, why do you not sing with us, hmm? 498 00:28:02,181 --> 00:28:05,516 Oh, what a big breath mint. 499 00:28:11,732 --> 00:28:14,442 So I told that bitch, "Step off them pumps, ho! 500 00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:16,152 Them shits are mine!" 501 00:28:16,236 --> 00:28:17,987 Where the fuck we gong now? 502 00:28:18,072 --> 00:28:20,031 What kind of "Fright Night" bullshit is this? 503 00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:21,949 Oh, please refrain from speaking. 504 00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:24,827 I know you must be proud of your beauty-school education, 505 00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:27,080 but your constant use of profanity 506 00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:29,916 is an assault on my Wellingtonian sensibilities. 507 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,001 I ain't the one with a dingleberry 508 00:28:32,086 --> 00:28:34,712 hanging off my ass hairs, nasty ape and shit. 509 00:28:34,797 --> 00:28:36,923 Yes, well I'm not so sure about that. 510 00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:39,675 The stank in this landfill is killing my coif. 511 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,012 I'm gonna have to get Tananeesha now to fix my weave. 512 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,687 Hey, how about them gas prices? 513 00:28:51,772 --> 00:28:54,399 Not that I have any place to go. 514 00:28:56,610 --> 00:28:59,570 Hey, monkey. Hello? 515 00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:01,489 I think he's talking to you. 516 00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:03,116 He sure-ass ain't talking to me. 517 00:29:05,494 --> 00:29:07,578 T.G.I.F., huh? 518 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:09,956 Yeah. 519 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,542 Friday already? Seems like Wednesday. 520 00:29:14,878 --> 00:29:17,130 All day. 521 00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:23,886 Oh. Speaking of gas prices. Ew! 522 00:29:23,971 --> 00:29:26,347 Shit. Even my ass is bored. 523 00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:29,517 Don't think I'm apologizing, neither. 524 00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:32,145 - You know that shit smells good. - Otto: Oh, delicious, 525 00:29:32,229 --> 00:29:33,438 the plowman's lunch. 526 00:29:33,522 --> 00:29:35,982 Elevator man: Finally got that itching under control. 527 00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:39,402 - Otto: Oh, God. - Yeah, nipped that right in the bud. 528 00:29:57,963 --> 00:29:59,881 Hey, what's wrong with your car? 529 00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:04,552 Hey, fellas. 530 00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:12,435 What the friggidy-fuck? Hello to you too. 531 00:30:12,519 --> 00:30:14,645 Yo, ese, where you been? 532 00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,398 Turned your back on your homeboys, huh? 533 00:30:17,483 --> 00:30:21,235 - Blood is blood. - Yeah, whoo, I've been, like, crazy busy. 534 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,653 I lost my cell phone too. 535 00:30:22,738 --> 00:30:24,572 I lost, like, every number. 536 00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:27,575 You look good, really good. You losing weight? 537 00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:29,202 That's not cool, homes. 538 00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:31,078 You could have been dead in a ditch somewhere. 539 00:30:31,163 --> 00:30:32,580 We were worried sick. 540 00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:34,665 Rodriguez hasn't slept in a month. 541 00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:40,046 Look, Rico, you're my homey. 542 00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:42,465 And as Ricky Ricardo said to Fred, 543 00:30:42,549 --> 00:30:44,258 "Don't be such a pussy." 544 00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:46,677 Look what you've done to Rodriguez now. 545 00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:47,762 You are so mean. 546 00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:49,472 Oh, boo-hoo. 547 00:30:49,556 --> 00:30:52,600 Look, I need some info on a giant horny ape, pronto, amigos. 548 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:55,269 Not so fast, homes. 549 00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:57,688 First, we gotta see if you're still one of us. 550 00:30:57,773 --> 00:30:59,482 I was afraid of this. 551 00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:09,075 No way! 552 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,124 Are you still the man, bro! 553 00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:18,668 Yes I am! 554 00:31:18,752 --> 00:31:21,379 I missed you guys. 555 00:31:21,463 --> 00:31:23,965 Get in here! 556 00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:25,383 Okay. 557 00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:26,717 Getting a little gay, fellas. 558 00:31:35,644 --> 00:31:37,395 This is it. Make yourself comfortable. 559 00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:40,273 No, don't-- I'm afraid of what that might entail. 560 00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:41,649 Mm-hmm. 561 00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:44,318 Flat screen! Mmm. 562 00:31:44,403 --> 00:31:46,529 Sweet. Better be fucking plasma. 563 00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:47,947 Better be a fucking minibar. 564 00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:51,367 Hot damn, there is! You did good, monkey. 565 00:31:51,451 --> 00:31:53,327 I'll be back to run your bath. 566 00:31:53,412 --> 00:31:56,664 Perhaps performing some ablutions will make you more palatable. 567 00:31:56,748 --> 00:31:59,792 - And try to remain somewhat coherent. - What did you just call me? 568 00:31:59,876 --> 00:32:02,211 You're the one who's all fucking coherent and shit. 569 00:32:02,296 --> 00:32:04,672 What the hell are these tiny bottles for, huh? 570 00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:06,924 What you think I am, a fucking midget or something? 571 00:32:07,009 --> 00:32:08,259 I ain't no Lilliputian and shit! 572 00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:11,470 Nice mouth. You'll make the perfect bride. 573 00:32:13,223 --> 00:32:18,144 # I hear the cottonwoods whispering above... # 574 00:32:23,317 --> 00:32:26,027 Now... ooh! 575 00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:28,237 There we go. Hello. 576 00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:34,702 Attaboy, attaboy! 577 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:37,705 That's it. Keep it going! Yeah. 578 00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:42,168 Ho, ho, come on, buddy, stick with it! 579 00:32:42,252 --> 00:32:44,545 Stick with it, stick with it! Oh, oh, yeah! 580 00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:46,213 Keep it up, keep it up, yeah! 581 00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:47,965 Dr. Satan, I-- whoopsy! 582 00:32:48,050 --> 00:32:50,718 What did I say about me in the bedroom? 583 00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:52,887 Dreadfully sorry about interrupting your wank, sir. 584 00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:54,722 A Miss von Black is in her room. 585 00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:56,807 Sorry, nothing. Get out! 586 00:32:56,892 --> 00:32:59,852 Damn it! That moment is ruined. 587 00:32:59,936 --> 00:33:05,107 # El Superbeasto! # 588 00:33:05,192 --> 00:33:06,734 Woman: # El Superbeasto! # 589 00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:15,242 Hmm. 590 00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:19,747 Come on, Suzi, call! 591 00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:21,582 What am I up against? 592 00:33:21,667 --> 00:33:24,168 I do not call this professional. 593 00:33:24,252 --> 00:33:27,630 Aw, screw it. What's the worst that could happen? 594 00:33:27,714 --> 00:33:29,340 No no! 595 00:33:30,801 --> 00:33:32,218 Nah. 596 00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:33,969 That stuff only happens in the movies. 597 00:33:34,054 --> 00:33:38,349 Yeah... 598 00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:40,768 - What the-- - Right there. Oh, yeah... 599 00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:43,938 Oh, you're a dirty little girl, aren't you? 600 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:45,773 - Daddy likey. - Ohh... 601 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:48,609 Oh, you want to make little sounds. 602 00:33:48,694 --> 00:33:51,320 Ow-a-ya-ya. 603 00:33:51,405 --> 00:33:52,405 Ooh ooh ooh 604 00:33:52,489 --> 00:33:53,572 Yowza! 605 00:33:53,657 --> 00:33:57,076 Damn, baby, your shit is tight. Mmm-mm-mm. 606 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:58,786 - Burt? - Hey, Beasto. 607 00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:01,622 Burt, you sly dog. 608 00:34:01,707 --> 00:34:04,542 Hey, listen, have you seen a monkey run through here? 609 00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:08,379 Man, he went that way carrying some grade-A booty, you dig? 610 00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:11,132 Hey! That's cold, baby! 611 00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:15,803 Give me a call if this doesn't work out. 612 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:19,432 Hey, squirrel, do I look like I want to talk to you? 613 00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:21,892 I ain't here to talk. I'm here for the all-American ass party. 614 00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:25,354 How about you make yourself useful and go get me some beer nuts? 615 00:34:25,439 --> 00:34:27,898 Oh, Mama, I got your nuts right here. Why don't you salt 'em-- 616 00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:34,405 Sorry about the door. I just had sex. 617 00:34:36,616 --> 00:34:38,784 All right, babies, listen up! 618 00:34:38,869 --> 00:34:41,162 It's Suzi X! 619 00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:44,498 I just remembered I've got to go visit my sister Bernice in Newark. 620 00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:46,876 I've got to put some ointment on her fistula. 621 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,211 So long! 622 00:34:50,922 --> 00:34:52,923 You see that girl? The one killing? 623 00:34:53,008 --> 00:34:54,842 She's my girlfriend. 624 00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,845 - Oh, let's spank them pushin' cushions! - No! 625 00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:59,305 That's fresh. 626 00:34:59,389 --> 00:35:03,768 Funbags are fully inflated and are ready for official clown business. 627 00:35:03,852 --> 00:35:06,771 Oh, you want some clown business, do you, greaseball? 628 00:35:06,855 --> 00:35:08,314 Well, 629 00:35:08,398 --> 00:35:09,857 dig these buns of steel! 630 00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:13,652 Ow, my hand, you bitch! 631 00:35:13,737 --> 00:35:17,406 I need some info on an ugly, filthy, stinky ape, 632 00:35:17,491 --> 00:35:21,744 and I'm gonna squeeze every one of you zits until one of you pops. 633 00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:29,752 I have to take this. It's my agent. Pilot season. 634 00:35:29,836 --> 00:35:31,212 Uh, have we heard anything? 635 00:35:31,296 --> 00:35:34,882 Oh, really? Fred Savage? Great. 636 00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:39,845 That's all I'm saying. If Flavor Flav can do it, why not me? 637 00:35:39,930 --> 00:35:41,764 See, now we're on the same page... 638 00:35:41,848 --> 00:35:45,309 Dr. Satan, that is the barrel-chested luchador 639 00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:47,853 that saw me kidnap Miss von Black! 640 00:35:47,938 --> 00:35:50,773 So? The graveyard is crammed with security. 641 00:35:50,857 --> 00:35:51,941 What's the big stinkeroo? 642 00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:55,236 Ooh, pretty. 643 00:36:01,618 --> 00:36:03,077 I'm not yelling at you! 644 00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:04,829 I'm not-- I'm not yelling at you. 645 00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:08,999 I'm just saying I deserve to be a star. 646 00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:11,919 Well, I am-- I know I'm a star, 647 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,629 but I want to be a bigger fucking star. 648 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,260 Um, I gotta go. 649 00:36:19,344 --> 00:36:20,636 Listen to me, tootsie. 650 00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:23,556 Ain't no dame ever gonna make me turn pigeon, you hear? 651 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,850 I've been kicked around by the best! 652 00:36:25,934 --> 00:36:28,936 Joey the Roach, Frankie the Mug, Jimmy the Cracker-- 653 00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:31,105 All right, you little worm, you got until I count to three 654 00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:33,691 to tell me who that smelly ape with the screw in his noggin 655 00:36:33,775 --> 00:36:36,902 is working for or I'm gonna blow your little friggin' worm head 656 00:36:36,987 --> 00:36:38,946 - into a million pieces! - Aw, blow me! 657 00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:40,531 - Uno... - "F" you! 658 00:36:40,615 --> 00:36:43,242 - ...dos... - Bet you can't even count to three. 659 00:36:43,326 --> 00:36:46,036 ...and three-- I mean tres! 660 00:36:46,121 --> 00:36:49,164 Go ahead, blondie. I don't want to live, you hear me? 661 00:36:49,249 --> 00:36:51,166 I don't want to live! 662 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,920 Ah, fine. Dr. Satan. 663 00:36:55,005 --> 00:36:57,756 Murray, we've got a name, an address. 664 00:36:57,841 --> 00:36:58,966 Let's move, Tin Man! 665 00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:01,552 Thanks, fellas. Nice ass kicking! 666 00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:02,970 Ta-ta! 667 00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:11,145 You picked the wrong guy on the wrong night. 668 00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:16,525 I just lost another goddamn pilot to that punk from "Malcolm in the Middle"! 669 00:37:16,610 --> 00:37:18,694 You like that? 670 00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:22,823 This is the result of several pushups and that new ab thingy. 671 00:37:22,908 --> 00:37:24,992 It looks kind of shitty but it really works. 672 00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:26,911 Ow, my ball joint! 673 00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:29,955 Listen, ass pile, 674 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,125 get out of my fucking fuckface. 675 00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:36,003 No, you get out of my friggin' face! 676 00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,422 Out of the way, Sally. 677 00:37:38,506 --> 00:37:40,132 No siree, Barbara! 678 00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:44,303 Look, Mary, I'm an A-list celebrity. 679 00:37:44,387 --> 00:37:46,388 I don't have time for this shit! 680 00:37:46,473 --> 00:37:49,016 Oh, yeah? Well, you're also on private property, 681 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,309 you stupid baby. 682 00:37:50,393 --> 00:37:52,645 Hold that thought. 683 00:37:52,729 --> 00:37:54,229 Yello? 684 00:37:54,314 --> 00:37:55,397 Who loves you, baby? 685 00:37:55,482 --> 00:37:57,983 Dig it-- I got the lowdown on the hoedown. 686 00:37:58,068 --> 00:38:00,527 Yeah, the ape works for some cat called Dr. Satan, 687 00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:02,071 and he's trying to take over the world. 688 00:38:02,155 --> 00:38:04,031 Huh. Yeah, right! 689 00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:07,284 Dr. Satan? Holy schnikeys! 690 00:38:07,369 --> 00:38:10,329 What would that crazy fruit ball want with my lady? 691 00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,164 Did you say "your lady"? 692 00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:13,874 I knew this was about pussy! 693 00:38:15,835 --> 00:38:18,212 Cell phone people are so rude! 694 00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:20,255 Beasto, are you all right? Are you okay? 695 00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:23,217 Fred Savage, is that you? 696 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:29,056 Murray, I can dig a scene, and this one is about to swing mondo. 697 00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:32,059 Beasto's hit the ultraskids and I ain't a dame to take it on the arches 698 00:38:32,143 --> 00:38:34,228 with a brother in Dragsville, baby. 699 00:38:37,107 --> 00:38:38,649 # Check it out, I'm imp the dimp # 700 00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:39,858 # The ladies' pimp # 701 00:38:39,943 --> 00:38:41,777 # The women fight for my delight # 702 00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:44,071 # But I'm the grand master with the three MCs # 703 00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:46,073 # That shock the house for the young ladies # 704 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,325 # And when you come inside, into the front # 705 00:38:48,410 --> 00:38:50,327 # You do the freak, spank, and do the bump # 706 00:38:50,412 --> 00:38:52,663 # And when the sucker MCs try to prove a point # 707 00:38:52,747 --> 00:38:54,915 # We're treacherous trio, we're the serious joint # 708 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,917 # From sun to sun and from day to day # 709 00:38:57,002 --> 00:38:59,086 # I sit down and write a brand-new rhyme # 710 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,171 # Because they say that miracles never cease # 711 00:39:01,256 --> 00:39:03,298 # I've created a devastating masterpiece # 712 00:39:03,383 --> 00:39:05,592 # I'm gonna rock the mike till you can't resist # 713 00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:07,177 # Everybody, I say it goes like this... # 714 00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:09,138 Oh, my! 715 00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:12,683 God damn it, Otto! Don't you ever knock? 716 00:39:12,767 --> 00:39:16,603 Oh, ho ho. Who the fuck is that? 717 00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:19,606 Quit with the charade. Nobody's buying it. 718 00:39:19,691 --> 00:39:22,359 Everybody in this room knows who I am. 719 00:39:22,444 --> 00:39:24,069 Am I right, people? 720 00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:30,701 - You! - Hold the short bus. I know you! 721 00:39:30,785 --> 00:39:33,912 You're that dorky freshman who was obsessed with my sister. 722 00:39:33,997 --> 00:39:38,542 No, I'm not. I'm Dr. Satan! 723 00:39:38,626 --> 00:39:40,127 Yeah yeah yeah. 724 00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:43,172 You're little Stevie Pee-Pee-Pants Wachowski. 725 00:39:43,256 --> 00:39:45,466 Be aggressive! B- E aggressive... 726 00:39:45,550 --> 00:39:47,509 - # If you love blueberries... # - ...Be aggressive... 727 00:39:47,594 --> 00:39:49,553 - #...Kiss my toes... # - ...B-E-A-G-G... 728 00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:53,140 # If you've got an appetite for some sticky-sweet # 729 00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:55,225 # Huffin' and puffin' # 730 00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:56,518 # Eat me up! # 731 00:39:56,603 --> 00:40:01,106 # I'm your real love muscle! # 732 00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:03,025 Okay, nice song, nerd. 733 00:40:03,109 --> 00:40:04,276 Listen to this one. 734 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,154 Hey! 735 00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:11,158 Yeah! 736 00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:12,785 Get a load of this, ladies. 737 00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:15,412 I'm awesome! I'm awesome! I'm awesome! 738 00:40:15,497 --> 00:40:17,414 Let's not go through all that again. 739 00:40:17,499 --> 00:40:19,333 Just hand Velvet over like a good little nerd 740 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,168 and I can get busy tapping that ass. 741 00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,170 All right, listen up, you dumb jock. 742 00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:24,922 Velvet von Black is mine! 743 00:40:25,006 --> 00:40:28,550 At midnight she will be my unholy bride and all mine! 744 00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,844 Mine! Mine mine mine mine mine! 745 00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:35,349 Oh, is that me? 746 00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:37,309 I gotta take this. 747 00:40:37,393 --> 00:40:39,144 Yello? 748 00:40:39,229 --> 00:40:40,187 Talk to me, baby. 749 00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:41,396 Give me some good news. 750 00:40:41,481 --> 00:40:43,816 Oh, really? 751 00:40:43,900 --> 00:40:47,194 Krongarr, discipline him! 752 00:40:47,278 --> 00:40:48,320 Yes, master, yes! 753 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:55,702 That's right, bitch! 754 00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:59,373 Yeah, we'll see who's wedgie boy now, hmm, hotshot? Hmm? 755 00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:04,628 Ouch! 756 00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:11,051 There you are. Yo, go pass me some more of that Champagney shit. 757 00:41:11,136 --> 00:41:13,762 Oh, God. Hold still. 758 00:41:13,847 --> 00:41:16,181 Hey hey, easy with that brush, you creep! 759 00:41:16,266 --> 00:41:17,224 I'm tender-headed! 760 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:20,227 Believe me, I don't want to do this any more than you do. 761 00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:22,604 Don't front. You know you staring at my Wonder Twins. 762 00:41:22,689 --> 00:41:25,357 You want your monkey juice on these shits, don't you? 763 00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:26,859 No, put the twins to bed. 764 00:41:26,943 --> 00:41:29,611 I would rather shuck out my eyes with a rusty clam knife. 765 00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:30,779 Mmm-hmm. 766 00:41:30,864 --> 00:41:32,406 Hand me that bottle, Bozo. 767 00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:34,449 Here you go-- oh! 768 00:41:34,534 --> 00:41:37,578 Hey hey hey, you're dirtying my bathwater, monkey. 769 00:41:37,662 --> 00:41:39,621 Whoa. Oh. 770 00:41:39,706 --> 00:41:43,250 Ooh, hey, that's not half bad. 771 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,252 Hidden talents and shit. 772 00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:47,421 Agh! Oh, the stench! 773 00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:50,174 It's like bilge water from the River Thames! 774 00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:52,968 Now why'd you stop? I'm the one who tells you when. 775 00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:55,262 - Shit! - It was a mistake, I assure you, 776 00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:57,764 like casting George Lazenby as 007. 777 00:41:57,849 --> 00:42:02,269 Mistake, my ass. You know, once you go black you never go back. 778 00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:03,687 That's von Black, bitch. 779 00:42:03,771 --> 00:42:08,025 I need some mouthwash and a mind eraser immediately! 780 00:42:08,109 --> 00:42:13,071 Why? Why? Why? 781 00:42:13,156 --> 00:42:17,284 Why? Why? Why? 782 00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:19,745 Male voice: Hey, brother, snap out of it! 783 00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:22,289 That's just perfect. 784 00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:23,707 All right, who said it? 785 00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:26,293 Who dared interrupt my big moment? 786 00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:28,003 Well, that would be me, brother, 787 00:42:28,087 --> 00:42:31,298 the toughest mat-grappler this side of your mama's panties-- 788 00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:35,302 El Gato! 789 00:42:35,386 --> 00:42:36,845 Who really gives a shit? 790 00:42:36,930 --> 00:42:38,931 Now if you'll excuse me, I'm busy. 791 00:42:39,015 --> 00:42:40,933 - Director: Okay, bring it up. - Camera assistant: How's that? 792 00:42:41,017 --> 00:42:42,184 - Up a bit, yeah. - That good? 793 00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:44,561 - Okay, that's it. - Scene 67, take 2. 794 00:42:44,646 --> 00:42:48,690 Um-- damn it. 795 00:42:48,775 --> 00:42:51,318 See, this is what happens. 796 00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:52,903 Line, please. 797 00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:57,115 - Woman: "Why?" - Oh, right. 798 00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:02,079 Why? Why? Why? 799 00:43:02,163 --> 00:43:06,708 Why? Why? Why? 800 00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:09,086 I can't believe you're here. My idol, 801 00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:12,339 locked in chains like a towelhead at Guantanamo. 802 00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:15,759 Yeah, well, this is a temporary setback, see? 803 00:43:15,843 --> 00:43:18,095 You remember when I was pitted against 804 00:43:18,179 --> 00:43:20,347 the Raging Earth's Crust at the Razzledome? 805 00:43:20,431 --> 00:43:21,640 - No. - Oh, yeah. 806 00:43:21,724 --> 00:43:23,558 He was squeezing my head 807 00:43:23,643 --> 00:43:24,977 - like I was a tit-- - Do you mind? 808 00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:28,355 I'm trying to formulate an exciting plan of action. 809 00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:30,357 Then he yanked my balls off. 810 00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:33,360 That's great. Your family must be very proud. 811 00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:35,988 I bet they gave you a party cake and everything. 812 00:43:36,072 --> 00:43:38,865 Oh, no. Can't have any cake. I'm a diabetic. 813 00:43:38,950 --> 00:43:42,369 But I did get a new set of pendulous balls grafted on. 814 00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:43,996 - See? - Hmm. 815 00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,332 Could this get any more repulsive? 816 00:43:47,417 --> 00:43:51,003 Oh, sweet buns-- firm, yet squishy. 817 00:43:51,087 --> 00:43:52,462 Oh, I love 'em. 818 00:43:52,547 --> 00:43:56,008 Beasto's Hot Wheel's at 12:00, big daddy! 819 00:44:00,179 --> 00:44:01,513 I dig the new cycle, Murray. 820 00:44:01,597 --> 00:44:04,641 But if I didn't know better, I'd say the design was a bit, 821 00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:07,394 shall we say, kinky. 822 00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:11,398 Kinky? Um, uh, no, it was, uh-- I mean-- 823 00:44:11,482 --> 00:44:13,650 I meticulously calculated the wind velocity 824 00:44:13,735 --> 00:44:16,111 and that was the most aerodynamically sound... 825 00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:17,404 Time to change, Murray. 826 00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:20,407 If somebody caught me wearing the same outfit in two different adventures, 827 00:44:20,491 --> 00:44:23,785 I think it would simpwy bwake my wittle heart. 828 00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:25,412 Oh, I understand how the heart can ache-- 829 00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:28,123 sometimes achy-break. 830 00:44:28,207 --> 00:44:29,916 Suzi, oh, please-- 831 00:44:30,001 --> 00:44:32,461 Wow, Murray, you're a riot. 832 00:44:32,545 --> 00:44:35,505 Let me tell you-- count yourself lucky you don't have a heart. 833 00:44:35,590 --> 00:44:38,675 You never have to feel the rush of hot blood racing through your veins, 834 00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:40,427 pumping life into vital organs, 835 00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:44,264 throbbing, pulsating, 836 00:44:44,349 --> 00:44:47,768 swelling, pumping. 837 00:44:51,022 --> 00:44:52,230 - Agh! - Cool it, hot stuff. 838 00:44:52,315 --> 00:44:54,816 - Oh, God! - I'll tell you when we need the big guns. 839 00:45:00,365 --> 00:45:03,033 Murray, I think we've got company. 840 00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:05,577 There they are! 841 00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:09,289 # Zombie Nazis standing at a wall now. # 842 00:45:09,374 --> 00:45:12,542 Love is a battlefield. 843 00:45:12,627 --> 00:45:15,128 Ah, the wisdom of Benatar. 844 00:45:15,213 --> 00:45:17,047 Witness the carnage, Otto. 845 00:45:17,131 --> 00:45:22,886 Welcome to the Hall of Frozen Ex-wives! 846 00:45:24,931 --> 00:45:27,140 22 failed marriages. 847 00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:30,060 Where did I go wrong? 848 00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:32,813 Take Deirdre. We met in pre-med. 849 00:45:32,897 --> 00:45:35,023 Oh, how I adored her. 850 00:45:35,108 --> 00:45:36,525 Oh, she was beneath you, sir-- 851 00:45:36,609 --> 00:45:39,486 and beneath every man on the Manchester United Football Club. 852 00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:42,364 Oh? And what would you know about it, monkey? 853 00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:44,574 Anyway, she was boring. 854 00:45:44,659 --> 00:45:48,662 Ah, my second marriage, to Lilith, was a debaucherous downward spiral. 855 00:45:48,746 --> 00:45:49,704 Mmm! 856 00:45:49,789 --> 00:45:52,082 Ah, Shirley. She was cute-- 857 00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:54,626 couple of father issues, though. Hmm. 858 00:45:54,710 --> 00:45:56,294 Oh, Maria. 859 00:45:56,379 --> 00:45:58,505 Philosophical differences. Mmm. 860 00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:01,174 Impala-- she wouldn't let me get too close to her. 861 00:46:01,259 --> 00:46:03,427 Sarah-- she ran hot and cold. 862 00:46:03,511 --> 00:46:05,429 Sex was mechanical! 863 00:46:05,513 --> 00:46:06,513 Too clingy. 864 00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:07,848 Too bossy. Slurped her soup. 865 00:46:07,932 --> 00:46:09,015 Oh! My dry cleaning. 866 00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:10,308 Nope. Wrong. 867 00:46:10,393 --> 00:46:11,810 No no no no no. 868 00:46:11,894 --> 00:46:12,853 Nose! 869 00:46:12,937 --> 00:46:15,522 Ball busters on parade, brother! 870 00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:17,691 22 wives, Otto, 871 00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:20,068 all of them abysmal catastrophes! 872 00:46:20,153 --> 00:46:21,736 A total waste of time! 873 00:46:21,821 --> 00:46:24,865 Oh, but how I love the ladies! 874 00:46:24,949 --> 00:46:27,159 Nothing will stop me now! 875 00:46:27,243 --> 00:46:29,953 Get me Velvet von Black! 876 00:46:31,289 --> 00:46:33,540 - What was that? - I'll tell you what it was, 877 00:46:33,624 --> 00:46:36,501 if you ask me. But quite honestly, you've been difficult to talk to. 878 00:46:36,586 --> 00:46:40,005 Oh, shit. I think that was a rat. 879 00:46:40,089 --> 00:46:43,925 Well, then-- there are only two things in this world that I'm afraid of: 880 00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:47,387 my Uncle Carl in a thong, and rats! 881 00:46:47,472 --> 00:46:49,139 Well, I got bad news for you, son. 882 00:46:49,223 --> 00:46:50,348 And worse news. 883 00:46:50,433 --> 00:46:52,517 Uh, what's the bad news? 884 00:46:52,602 --> 00:46:55,687 Hey, Beasto, you want to play "My Bad Little Pony"? 885 00:46:55,771 --> 00:46:57,606 Uncle Carl! 886 00:46:57,690 --> 00:47:00,484 Jesus, Mary, and Seacrest! 887 00:47:00,568 --> 00:47:01,735 What's the worse news? 888 00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:03,153 Hey, check this out. 889 00:47:05,656 --> 00:47:06,656 B- b-b-b-b-b! 890 00:47:11,245 --> 00:47:12,579 Oh, moist. 891 00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:13,997 That's a new one. 892 00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:15,582 People'd pay money to see that. 893 00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:18,293 I can't take it. I'm not supposed to die like this. 894 00:47:18,377 --> 00:47:20,003 I'm a celebrity, damn it! 895 00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:24,674 Wachowski, get ready for the wedgie of your life! 896 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,598 Whoo! Attaboy! 897 00:47:46,113 --> 00:47:49,574 My pretty Miss X. 898 00:47:49,659 --> 00:47:52,619 You thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't you? 899 00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:54,913 Yeah, well, I was kinda hoping, you know. 900 00:47:54,997 --> 00:47:57,624 I did change my outfit and all. Do you like it? 901 00:48:00,503 --> 00:48:02,128 Zombies: It looks like it was painted on. 902 00:48:02,213 --> 00:48:06,925 - She's much hotter than Eva Braun. - Come to Papa! 903 00:48:07,009 --> 00:48:09,386 Now you're cooking with gas! 904 00:48:09,470 --> 00:48:10,971 Ooh, sexy Mama! 905 00:48:11,055 --> 00:48:12,639 Silence, Grossberger! 906 00:48:12,723 --> 00:48:15,475 Very clever, Miss X, 907 00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:20,355 but you are not familiar with the Nazi Curse, are you? 908 00:48:20,439 --> 00:48:23,066 Hmm, which one? Let me see. 909 00:48:23,150 --> 00:48:24,734 There's "Fuck Nazis," 910 00:48:24,819 --> 00:48:25,986 "God Damn Nazis," 911 00:48:26,070 --> 00:48:27,112 "Nazi Assholes," 912 00:48:27,196 --> 00:48:28,280 "Nazi Pricks," 913 00:48:28,364 --> 00:48:29,447 "Nazi Douche Bags," 914 00:48:29,532 --> 00:48:30,657 "Nazi Jerk Offs"-- 915 00:48:30,741 --> 00:48:32,659 the list just goes on and on. 916 00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:36,121 Ha ha ha. That's so funny I forgot to laugh. 917 00:48:36,205 --> 00:48:39,666 No, my pretty. The Nazi Curse proclaims 918 00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:42,919 that the one who vanquishes the soul of the Fuhrer 919 00:48:43,004 --> 00:48:45,880 will suffer the second coming of the Third Reich! 920 00:48:45,965 --> 00:48:49,175 Arise, soldiers of the Third Reich! 921 00:48:54,765 --> 00:48:56,683 Nobody's laughing now! 922 00:48:56,767 --> 00:48:59,102 Well, I am, but it's all about context, you see. 923 00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:01,896 Correct me if I'm wrong here, 924 00:49:01,981 --> 00:49:03,982 but wouldn't the second coming of the Third Reich 925 00:49:04,066 --> 00:49:06,318 actually be the first coming of the Fourth Reich? 926 00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:09,821 What did you say? 927 00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:11,698 Since this is the new one after number three, 928 00:49:11,782 --> 00:49:14,701 wouldn't this technically be number four, dipshit? 929 00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:18,330 That's right. You go, girl. You know what you're talking about. 930 00:49:19,790 --> 00:49:21,207 Technically she is correct. 931 00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:22,917 Wilhelm, would you do me a favor? 932 00:49:23,002 --> 00:49:24,711 - Yeah. - Shut up! 933 00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:26,254 Aw, forget it. 934 00:49:26,339 --> 00:49:28,715 Wait wait, my brothers. No no no! 935 00:49:28,799 --> 00:49:30,300 Do over! Do over! 936 00:49:30,384 --> 00:49:34,304 Arise, soldiers of either the Fourth or the Third Reich, 937 00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:37,140 you know, depending on how you choose to count it. 938 00:49:38,768 --> 00:49:41,519 Who's your daddy now? That's right. Me! 939 00:49:41,604 --> 00:49:44,564 Murray, prepare for Ass Kicking 101! 940 00:49:44,649 --> 00:49:45,815 Let's get it done! 941 00:49:49,070 --> 00:49:51,738 So, Dr. Satan, huh? What the fuck? 942 00:49:51,822 --> 00:49:53,740 You a doctor, like a PhD and shit? 943 00:49:53,824 --> 00:49:58,536 Ah, Velvet, you are the most delightful and bewitching woman 944 00:49:58,621 --> 00:50:00,914 I have ever met. 945 00:50:00,998 --> 00:50:02,624 That's 'cause I'm a fuckin' lady. Mmm. 946 00:50:03,626 --> 00:50:06,961 Hmm. I don't want to seem too forward, Velvet, 947 00:50:07,046 --> 00:50:09,714 but the truth is I've grown quite smitten with you. 948 00:50:09,799 --> 00:50:10,757 Oh, God. 949 00:50:10,841 --> 00:50:12,759 Yeah, me too. 950 00:50:12,843 --> 00:50:14,761 You got some nice digs, though. I ain't gonna front. 951 00:50:14,845 --> 00:50:16,930 When Tananeesha and Roqwana come through, 952 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,598 ooh, it's gonna be on! 953 00:50:18,683 --> 00:50:19,766 Them bitches gonna be jealous. 954 00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:21,976 Velvet, I'm going to cut to the chase. 955 00:50:22,061 --> 00:50:24,938 50% of everything you see here is yours 956 00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:27,357 if you will be my bride. 957 00:50:27,441 --> 00:50:30,402 Oh, Satan, you're the motherfuckin' man! 958 00:50:30,486 --> 00:50:32,696 And now, my dear-- 959 00:50:35,616 --> 00:50:37,117 And now-- 960 00:50:37,201 --> 00:50:39,160 Otto! 961 00:50:39,245 --> 00:50:40,370 Where the fuck is the ring? 962 00:50:40,454 --> 00:50:44,290 How fast do you think I can saw the finger off a corpse? 963 00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:49,796 Hmm, so, this is awkward. 964 00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,631 Mmm-hmm. 965 00:51:01,350 --> 00:51:04,227 Be my number 23. 966 00:51:04,311 --> 00:51:05,812 Da-a-amn! 967 00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:07,605 Now that's what I'm talking about! 968 00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:08,898 That shit's tight! 969 00:51:08,983 --> 00:51:10,692 Alright, I'm down. 970 00:51:10,776 --> 00:51:11,818 Let's turn this mother out! 971 00:51:11,902 --> 00:51:13,820 Whoa-ho-ho-ho! 972 00:51:13,904 --> 00:51:18,950 We are gonna have the best Polish wedding ever! 973 00:51:21,907 --> 00:51:24,831 You gotta understand-- it's not an exercise program, 974 00:51:24,915 --> 00:51:26,166 it's a lifestyle. 975 00:51:26,250 --> 00:51:28,042 Look at me. I don't eat carbs. 976 00:51:28,127 --> 00:51:29,836 I don't eat 'em after 8:00. 977 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:30,920 I just don't do it. 978 00:51:45,686 --> 00:51:47,645 You know what we are, don't you? 979 00:51:47,730 --> 00:51:48,855 I'll tell ya-- we're doomed! 980 00:51:48,939 --> 00:51:51,858 Not so fast, my big-balled friend. 981 00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:55,695 I didn't come this far to go down like a Filipino transvestite 982 00:51:55,780 --> 00:51:56,905 during Fleet Week. 983 00:52:04,038 --> 00:52:06,164 Uh, music. 984 00:52:08,334 --> 00:52:11,336 # El Superbeasto... # 985 00:52:28,938 --> 00:52:31,898 What the-- 986 00:52:31,982 --> 00:52:34,192 Whoo, that was a lot of fun. 987 00:52:34,276 --> 00:52:36,653 I haven't kicked ass like that in a long time. 988 00:52:36,737 --> 00:52:38,488 Wait, I hear something. 989 00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:41,866 Is that Bodislav Bodinsky the polka king? 990 00:52:41,951 --> 00:52:43,493 Outrageous! 991 00:52:43,577 --> 00:52:45,036 Let's go! 992 00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:48,540 Oh, sure, use a man's balls to beat the hell out of something 993 00:52:48,624 --> 00:52:49,749 and then don't wait for him! 994 00:52:50,876 --> 00:52:54,420 Kraut bogey, 5:00! 995 00:52:55,923 --> 00:52:59,300 When I woke up this morning I was in such a good mood. 996 00:52:59,385 --> 00:53:01,886 Mind if I borrow these for a moment? 997 00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:06,266 Time to take over, big boy. 998 00:53:06,350 --> 00:53:07,684 I'm going in. 999 00:53:07,768 --> 00:53:10,019 Going in? Fucking awesome! 1000 00:53:11,981 --> 00:53:16,401 Damn iit, Otto, this is my special day and those two are going to ruin it! 1001 00:53:16,485 --> 00:53:17,819 Now, hold still. 1002 00:53:17,903 --> 00:53:20,613 I don't think you're taking this problem seriously. 1003 00:53:20,698 --> 00:53:23,616 Not taking it seriously? 1004 00:53:23,701 --> 00:53:27,495 Whose idea was it for the giant cascading waterfall of shrimp, hmm? 1005 00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:29,998 You. 1006 00:53:30,082 --> 00:53:32,959 And who was going to surprise you 1007 00:53:33,043 --> 00:53:35,086 with a life-size ice sculpture 1008 00:53:35,170 --> 00:53:39,299 of His Supreme Evilness Dr. Satan in all his glory? 1009 00:53:39,383 --> 00:53:41,968 - You didn't. - I did. 1010 00:53:45,472 --> 00:53:46,931 Well, that's fine and dandy, 1011 00:53:47,016 --> 00:53:48,600 but did you ever stop for one second 1012 00:53:48,684 --> 00:53:51,519 and think that if you weren't acting like a giant Froot Loop 1013 00:53:51,604 --> 00:53:53,938 parading around knee-deep in doilies, 1014 00:53:54,023 --> 00:53:55,982 then you would have noticed that there were two superheroes 1015 00:53:56,066 --> 00:53:58,776 about to throw a goddamn monkey wrench 1016 00:53:58,861 --> 00:54:02,906 in my master plan, you stupid monkey! 1017 00:54:02,990 --> 00:54:05,617 Fuck you and your shrimp boat. 1018 00:54:05,701 --> 00:54:07,076 I'm doing this my way. 1019 00:54:08,078 --> 00:54:09,996 Oh! I meant to do that. 1020 00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,248 Mark my words, Steven. 1021 00:54:12,333 --> 00:54:15,126 They're all gonna laugh at you. Oh! 1022 00:54:21,091 --> 00:54:23,801 Don't all try and crowd in on this one. 1023 00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:26,012 There'll be another shuttle along shortly. 1024 00:54:26,096 --> 00:54:28,890 Hmm. Perfect. 1025 00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:31,935 There's enough pigs-in-a-blanket for everyone. 1026 00:54:32,019 --> 00:54:33,394 - Hi. - Oh! 1027 00:54:33,479 --> 00:54:36,105 So, are you with the bride or the boobs-- the groom? 1028 00:54:36,190 --> 00:54:38,191 I'm with the groom, honeycakes. 1029 00:54:38,275 --> 00:54:39,359 Slut! 1030 00:54:39,443 --> 00:54:42,028 Please, Mildred, don't make a scene. 1031 00:54:42,112 --> 00:54:43,529 She seems nice. 1032 00:54:48,327 --> 00:54:50,828 So, Latrizza, I'm just saying, 1033 00:54:50,913 --> 00:54:52,789 he's a crazy, fugly sonofabitch, 1034 00:54:52,873 --> 00:54:55,041 but I'm gonna get all that money, you know what I'm saying? Half! 1035 00:54:56,126 --> 00:54:58,670 Half, bitch, you understand that shit? Half! 1036 00:55:00,631 --> 00:55:03,341 Darling, are you almost ready? The guests are arriving. 1037 00:55:03,425 --> 00:55:05,051 Oh, I know you ain't talking to me. 1038 00:55:05,135 --> 00:55:06,886 Do I look motherfucking ready? 1039 00:55:06,971 --> 00:55:09,347 Yeah, you needs to wait your ass outside. Shit! 1040 00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:12,517 No, I just thought that- that-- 1041 00:55:12,601 --> 00:55:13,685 Thought what? 1042 00:55:13,769 --> 00:55:14,852 - Um-- - What? 1043 00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:16,396 - Uh, um-- - What? 1044 00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:20,066 Yo, spit that motherfucking shit out or get out. 1045 00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:21,526 Please, sweetie pants, 1046 00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:23,653 your tone is distressing! 1047 00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:27,657 Special day. Shrimp boat. 1048 00:55:27,741 --> 00:55:30,076 I'll be ready when I'm goddamn ready. 1049 00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:31,369 Yo, is this the way you gonna be, 1050 00:55:31,453 --> 00:55:32,996 acting like a fool and shit? 1051 00:55:34,331 --> 00:55:35,999 Act a fool? 1052 00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:38,167 No, cupcake. 1053 00:55:40,879 --> 00:55:43,506 I'm gonna act like this! 1054 00:55:52,182 --> 00:55:54,434 Is there something you'd like to say, Otto? 1055 00:55:54,518 --> 00:55:56,811 I'll save my comments for later, sir. 1056 00:55:56,895 --> 00:55:59,272 Then get this frozen bitch to the altar! 1057 00:56:00,649 --> 00:56:03,109 Man: Oh my God, these pierogies taste like shit! 1058 00:56:03,193 --> 00:56:04,777 Here, you try them. 1059 00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:08,114 Time to blend in and mingle. 1060 00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:12,118 Holy mother jugs! Look at those ass flaps! 1061 00:56:12,202 --> 00:56:16,122 Hey there, hot pants. Let's get nude. 1062 00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:18,041 Take a picture. It'll last longer. 1063 00:56:18,125 --> 00:56:20,835 Whoa! Hey, Suzi. 1064 00:56:20,919 --> 00:56:22,503 Creepy. Incest. 1065 00:56:25,007 --> 00:56:28,384 Places, people. Places, everyone! 1066 00:56:28,469 --> 00:56:32,138 The wedding is about to begin! 1067 00:56:32,222 --> 00:56:34,849 All right, hotshot. Why am I at a wedding? 1068 00:56:34,933 --> 00:56:39,854 Admit it, this was always about P-U-S-S-Y, huh? 1069 00:56:39,938 --> 00:56:41,939 - Wasn't it? - Well, no! 1070 00:56:42,024 --> 00:56:45,151 No. I mean, it was, it was-- agh! 1071 00:56:45,235 --> 00:56:47,612 Then it wasn't. It might be again, but-- 1072 00:56:47,696 --> 00:56:50,114 Agh! listen, listen! 1073 00:56:50,199 --> 00:56:52,909 Dr. Satan is Steve Wachowski, 1074 00:56:52,993 --> 00:56:56,162 and if he marries this broad we're all toast. 1075 00:56:56,246 --> 00:57:00,166 Steve Wachowski? Why does that name make my panties cringe? 1076 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:02,585 You know, I mean if I wore panties. 1077 00:57:02,669 --> 00:57:06,631 Does the phrase, "Eat me, I'm your love muffin" ring any bells? 1078 00:57:08,008 --> 00:57:09,258 I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. 1079 00:57:09,343 --> 00:57:12,095 This demented maniac must be stopped! 1080 00:57:12,179 --> 00:57:14,097 Uh, what do we do? 1081 00:57:14,181 --> 00:57:16,015 Whoa! 1082 00:57:23,649 --> 00:57:25,483 Woman: Oh! 1083 00:57:25,567 --> 00:57:27,193 Hey, baby, show me your tits. 1084 00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:30,196 Madam, please keep your meat pillows contained. 1085 00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:31,280 You ain't the boss of me. 1086 00:57:31,365 --> 00:57:32,824 Nice! 1087 00:57:32,908 --> 00:57:34,075 All right, they're out. 1088 00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:40,998 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today 1089 00:57:41,083 --> 00:57:45,253 to join these two begotten souls in unholy matrimony. 1090 00:57:45,337 --> 00:57:47,130 Some tears would be nice. 1091 00:57:47,214 --> 00:57:51,217 Anyway, here we will marry Dr. Wachowski-- 1092 00:57:51,301 --> 00:57:53,219 I mean Satan-- 1093 00:57:53,303 --> 00:57:55,680 - and his big-titted... - Excuse me, bro, 1094 00:57:55,764 --> 00:57:58,391 don't you think we should be out kicking some Satanic ass right now? 1095 00:57:58,475 --> 00:58:00,726 I'm telling you, this plan is foolproof. 1096 00:58:00,811 --> 00:58:04,230 All I've got to do is pull this rope before they get to the "I do's." 1097 00:58:04,314 --> 00:58:07,233 Hey, come on, have I ever let you down before? 1098 00:58:07,317 --> 00:58:09,986 Well, there was that one time when you left me to fly solo 1099 00:58:10,070 --> 00:58:12,363 against the dreaded man-eating alligator men of Venus. 1100 00:58:12,447 --> 00:58:13,781 Ring a bell? 1101 00:58:13,866 --> 00:58:17,034 Ow! I told you, I missed my flight. 1102 00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:20,454 They overbooked first class. I refuse to fly coach. 1103 00:58:20,539 --> 00:58:24,500 You know I can't have my public see me like that. 1104 00:58:24,585 --> 00:58:28,588 Other than that my record is clean as a whistle. 1105 00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:32,258 If there is anyone among you that believes 1106 00:58:32,342 --> 00:58:33,843 this wedding should not take place, 1107 00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:37,638 speak now or forever hold your peace. 1108 00:58:39,183 --> 00:58:41,392 Then there was the time you overslept 1109 00:58:41,476 --> 00:58:43,019 and missed the massacre of the vampire women. 1110 00:58:43,103 --> 00:58:45,438 Does that one ring a bell? Ding dong? 1111 00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:47,607 Clearly not my fault. 1112 00:58:47,691 --> 00:58:50,526 I set that clock to AM. 1113 00:58:52,779 --> 00:58:54,572 Do you, Velvet von Black, 1114 00:58:54,656 --> 00:58:59,410 take, um, this well-read horror of a man 1115 00:58:59,494 --> 00:59:01,829 to be your frightening husband? 1116 00:59:01,914 --> 00:59:05,249 Do I look stupid? I mean, you know I do! 1117 00:59:05,334 --> 00:59:06,292 I love him! 1118 00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:09,420 Dr. Satan, do you take Velvet von Black 1119 00:59:09,504 --> 00:59:11,631 as your unlawfully wedded whore-- 1120 00:59:11,715 --> 00:59:13,299 I mean wife? 1121 00:59:13,383 --> 00:59:15,593 I do! 1122 00:59:15,677 --> 00:59:17,762 - Wait. Did you hear something? - Pull it! 1123 00:59:17,846 --> 00:59:21,307 I now pronounce you man and wife. 1124 00:59:21,391 --> 00:59:23,017 Look out! 1125 00:59:23,101 --> 00:59:26,270 # This scene is so familiar # 1126 00:59:26,355 --> 00:59:29,649 # Like I've seen it once before # 1127 00:59:29,733 --> 00:59:34,111 # Was it in a dream or another life? # 1128 00:59:34,196 --> 00:59:38,032 # I'm really not sure # 1129 00:59:38,116 --> 00:59:40,868 # Wait, it's coming to me # 1130 00:59:40,953 --> 00:59:43,246 # I think I got it # 1131 00:59:43,330 --> 00:59:46,707 # Ooh, why'd you have to rip off "Carrie"? # 1132 00:59:49,878 --> 00:59:53,130 # Since the movie started # 1133 00:59:53,215 --> 00:59:57,677 # This part is the most retarded # 1134 00:59:57,761 --> 01:00:02,431 # Why, why'd you have to rip off "Carrie"? # 1135 01:00:04,559 --> 01:00:08,354 # With the sound effect and the split-screen thing # 1136 01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:12,358 # Did you ask DePalma or Stephen King # 1137 01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:16,237 # If you could rip off "Carrie"? # 1138 01:00:16,321 --> 01:00:18,864 Oh, yeah. Nice play, Shakespeare. 1139 01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:20,950 Uh, yeah. 1140 01:00:21,034 --> 01:00:23,160 Not exactly what I had in mind. 1141 01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:26,372 Okey-dokey, artichokey. 1142 01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:28,374 Time to do this my way! Hah! 1143 01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:30,376 Hmm? 1144 01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:31,460 Cowa-ya-- 1145 01:00:36,300 --> 01:00:37,842 You're too late! 1146 01:00:37,926 --> 01:00:41,387 Satan boombaye! Satan boombaye! 1147 01:00:41,471 --> 01:00:44,890 Wake up, Beasto! You're earth's only hope! 1148 01:00:44,975 --> 01:00:46,892 Caramels are chewy. 1149 01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:59,322 Now my dream has come true! 1150 01:00:59,406 --> 01:01:01,991 Steve Wachowski, vice-president of the chess club, 1151 01:01:02,075 --> 01:01:07,038 and Suzi X, homecoming queen together at last! 1152 01:01:07,122 --> 01:01:09,707 Hey, loosen up, man. You're crushing my titties! 1153 01:01:13,962 --> 01:01:16,505 Oh, no he didn't! I'm gonna get you, ho! 1154 01:01:59,383 --> 01:02:00,966 Holy mother of God! 1155 01:02:04,679 --> 01:02:07,640 Santa Claus is dead. 1156 01:02:07,724 --> 01:02:09,975 - Evil wins. - Yeah! 1157 01:02:10,060 --> 01:02:12,436 Is-- stop that back there! 1158 01:02:12,521 --> 01:02:15,564 Is there anyone who can save us now? 1159 01:02:24,449 --> 01:02:25,825 There they are. I see them. 1160 01:02:25,909 --> 01:02:27,243 What? Give me those. 1161 01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:28,285 Ow! 1162 01:02:28,370 --> 01:02:32,415 That two-timing playa wannabe pimp-ass son of a bitch! 1163 01:02:32,499 --> 01:02:34,375 I'm gonna beat his dumb red ass. 1164 01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:41,424 This is nice, isn't it? 1165 01:02:41,508 --> 01:02:44,009 Just the two of us reminiscing about the good old days. 1166 01:02:46,096 --> 01:02:51,392 Oh, it's like we're back in homeroom all over again! 1167 01:02:51,476 --> 01:02:53,519 Eww! Hands off, Dr. Perv! 1168 01:02:53,603 --> 01:02:56,564 Say, here's a real blast from your past. 1169 01:02:56,648 --> 01:02:59,733 # If you love blueberries, kiss my toes # 1170 01:02:59,818 --> 01:03:02,862 # If you like apple sauce, lick my nose # 1171 01:03:02,946 --> 01:03:06,532 # If you've got an appetite for some sticky-sweet huffin' and puffin'... # 1172 01:03:06,616 --> 01:03:09,535 # Well, then, baby, eat me up! # 1173 01:03:09,619 --> 01:03:11,954 # I said eat me up # 1174 01:03:12,038 --> 01:03:15,541 # I'm your real love muffin! # 1175 01:03:17,043 --> 01:03:20,629 Put the ho down! 1176 01:03:23,425 --> 01:03:27,845 I said back away from that stank-ass ho! 1177 01:03:27,929 --> 01:03:30,473 What? Who you calling a stank-ass ho? 1178 01:03:30,557 --> 01:03:32,933 Well, it must be you, bitch. 1179 01:03:33,018 --> 01:03:36,729 You're the only stank-ass brokedown ho I see. 1180 01:03:38,231 --> 01:03:40,566 Excuse me, Dr. Satan. 1181 01:03:40,650 --> 01:03:43,068 Would you mind putting me down for a moment, please? 1182 01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:47,198 I really don't think that that's-- 1183 01:03:47,282 --> 01:03:50,576 - Sweet baby mother! - I said put me down! 1184 01:03:50,660 --> 01:03:52,286 Yes, dear. 1185 01:03:54,789 --> 01:03:57,166 Yo, what was that, be-atch? 1186 01:03:57,250 --> 01:03:58,209 Do I stutter? 1187 01:03:58,293 --> 01:03:59,752 All right! Cat fight! 1188 01:03:59,836 --> 01:04:01,462 # Pull my hair, I'll pull your hair # 1189 01:04:01,546 --> 01:04:04,507 # They'll struggle to the pavement at the cat fight # 1190 01:04:04,591 --> 01:04:06,383 # Cat fight # 1191 01:04:06,468 --> 01:04:08,719 Is it wrong this is turning me on? 1192 01:04:08,803 --> 01:04:10,596 - # Hey there, mister, that's your sister # - Come on, blondie... 1193 01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:13,599 # Boner's are a poppin' at the cat fight # 1194 01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:15,184 # Cat fight # 1195 01:04:15,268 --> 01:04:17,686 # All will want to poke you when the blonde chick goes to choke you # 1196 01:04:17,771 --> 01:04:20,898 # At the cat fight. # 1197 01:04:20,982 --> 01:04:24,735 # It's all right to jerk off to cartoons # 1198 01:04:24,819 --> 01:04:27,863 # The Japanese do it every day # 1199 01:04:27,948 --> 01:04:32,284 # So rub one out for the U.S.A. # 1200 01:04:32,369 --> 01:04:33,911 # The U.S.A. # 1201 01:04:35,413 --> 01:04:36,830 Ooh, you're gonna get it! 1202 01:04:46,716 --> 01:04:48,050 - # Pull the leg back, hear it crack # - Owee! 1203 01:04:48,134 --> 01:04:51,262 Say my name, bitch! Feel that shit, Mamita! 1204 01:04:51,346 --> 01:04:53,264 # Bite the ass # 1205 01:04:53,348 --> 01:04:54,390 # Jump up, gonna kick you back # 1206 01:04:54,474 --> 01:04:57,851 # Splish splash... # 1207 01:04:57,936 --> 01:05:01,063 Takenzie her top offen! Show us her boobies! 1208 01:05:01,147 --> 01:05:06,151 # 'Cause masturbation's good for your prostate # 1209 01:05:06,236 --> 01:05:10,948 # It lowers blood pressure and it helps you sleep # 1210 01:05:11,032 --> 01:05:13,659 # U.S.A. # 1211 01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:16,078 # Watch where you're a-steppin' # 1212 01:05:16,162 --> 01:05:19,331 # You better grab a weapon at the cat fight # 1213 01:05:19,416 --> 01:05:22,293 # Cat fight # 1214 01:05:23,878 --> 01:05:25,296 # Time to fuckin' take her # 1215 01:05:25,380 --> 01:05:30,342 # Punch her in the babymaker at the ca-at # 1216 01:05:30,427 --> 01:05:33,971 # Fight # 1217 01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:36,599 # Cat # 1218 01:05:36,683 --> 01:05:37,641 # Fight # 1219 01:05:37,726 --> 01:05:38,684 # Cat fight # 1220 01:05:38,768 --> 01:05:40,769 # Cat fight cat fight cat fight cat fight cat fight # 1221 01:05:44,941 --> 01:05:47,192 # Cat fight. # 1222 01:05:47,277 --> 01:05:49,570 Who's the ho now, bitch? 1223 01:05:49,654 --> 01:05:53,699 And the new Mrs. Satan by T.K.O. in the first round, 1224 01:05:53,783 --> 01:05:56,410 Suzi X! 1225 01:05:56,436 --> 01:05:59,705 You gonna leave Velvet von Black? 1226 01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:03,250 Fuck you all! I got a pre-nup! 1227 01:06:03,335 --> 01:06:04,877 Half! 1228 01:06:06,796 --> 01:06:08,672 Null and void. 1229 01:06:11,509 --> 01:06:14,887 Oh, Doctor, you don't look so good. 1230 01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:17,723 I think you got a little something something going on upstairs. 1231 01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:19,642 What the hell? 1232 01:06:19,726 --> 01:06:22,811 - According to the handbook-- - Handbook? 1233 01:06:22,896 --> 01:06:27,107 Really? Is that the best that you-- and by you I mean the writers-- 1234 01:06:27,192 --> 01:06:29,318 could come up with? Hey, Shakespeare, 1235 01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:32,112 the strike's over. Now get back to work. 1236 01:06:32,197 --> 01:06:35,032 All right, let's get this over with. 1237 01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:37,743 You had that book and you never said a thing? 1238 01:06:37,827 --> 01:06:41,288 You idiot! 1239 01:06:41,373 --> 01:06:42,331 Give me that! 1240 01:06:42,415 --> 01:06:44,500 "Dr. Satan will shrink back to normal size 1241 01:06:44,584 --> 01:06:47,127 if he squashes his unholy bride with the heel of his cloven hoof 1242 01:06:47,212 --> 01:06:49,338 - under a crescent moon... - Wazzup? 1243 01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:52,216 ...as an albino Barry Manilow lookalike warbles through "Copacabana" 1244 01:06:52,300 --> 01:06:54,343 under a shower of rainbow sparkles 1245 01:06:54,427 --> 01:06:57,763 while a disgustingly cute kitten screams a Moroccan death chant. 1246 01:06:57,847 --> 01:06:59,765 Great. Now here are we gonna find a kitten like that? 1247 01:06:59,849 --> 01:07:02,351 Hey, buddy, I don't want to be rude, 1248 01:07:02,435 --> 01:07:04,895 but I was, like, staring at your crotch, 1249 01:07:04,979 --> 01:07:07,690 and it seems like your package is purring. 1250 01:07:07,774 --> 01:07:09,775 Hey-oh! 1251 01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:12,403 Come on, get me the fuck out of here! 1252 01:07:17,325 --> 01:07:18,784 I stand corrected. 1253 01:07:21,830 --> 01:07:22,788 Ow ow ow ow ow ow! 1254 01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:25,040 I got you, Suzi! 1255 01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:27,334 Thanks, my big, metal manboy machine! 1256 01:07:27,419 --> 01:07:30,170 That's me, Murray. Murray loves Suzi. 1257 01:07:31,297 --> 01:07:32,798 So I'm a little smaller. So what? 1258 01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:34,967 I know how this high school thing works. 1259 01:07:35,051 --> 01:07:36,802 I've got the homecoming queen 1260 01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:40,764 and now it's time to put the school bully in his place! 1261 01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:44,226 Medic. 1262 01:07:44,310 --> 01:07:45,894 Are we done now? 1263 01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:47,896 Yeah, I think so. 1264 01:07:52,777 --> 01:07:54,695 Oh, my blueberries! 1265 01:07:54,779 --> 01:07:59,241 And now a little smashing of the old fuckface. 1266 01:08:05,999 --> 01:08:08,834 Eat this, love muffin. 1267 01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:13,088 Sir, might I suggest a bit of the old Brixton 9000? 1268 01:08:13,173 --> 01:08:15,507 Oh! 1269 01:08:15,592 --> 01:08:17,676 Yeah! 1270 01:08:25,310 --> 01:08:27,770 What the hell you lookin' at, bitch? 1271 01:08:27,854 --> 01:08:30,814 Eh, nada, mein homey. 1272 01:08:30,899 --> 01:08:33,108 Hey, that's Spanish! 1273 01:08:35,653 --> 01:08:38,489 Okay, I think what we should do is, um-- 1274 01:08:38,573 --> 01:08:39,865 Run! 1275 01:08:39,949 --> 01:08:43,327 Come on, Wilhelm, ride it like you stole it! 1276 01:08:50,084 --> 01:08:52,461 Oi-- temporary setback. 1277 01:08:52,545 --> 01:08:54,963 Nothing a little ointment won't fix. 1278 01:08:57,926 --> 01:08:59,051 Huh? 1279 01:09:02,972 --> 01:09:04,223 Oh, sweet heaven. 1280 01:09:09,270 --> 01:09:12,064 Well, I did it again. 1281 01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:15,025 Saving the world is like riding a bicycle. 1282 01:09:15,109 --> 01:09:16,860 Oh, I know where this is going. 1283 01:09:16,945 --> 01:09:18,904 You really never forget how it's done. 1284 01:09:18,988 --> 01:09:19,988 Come on, Murray, let's go. 1285 01:09:20,073 --> 01:09:21,907 Some say it's my superior strength. 1286 01:09:23,034 --> 01:09:25,911 Did you see how I-- 1287 01:09:25,995 --> 01:09:26,954 Oh, well. 1288 01:09:27,038 --> 01:09:29,873 Ladies, anyone up for some 1289 01:09:29,958 --> 01:09:30,916 hot wings? 1290 01:09:33,795 --> 01:09:35,921 Welcome back to "The Morris Green Show." 1291 01:09:36,005 --> 01:09:38,006 Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest-- 1292 01:09:38,091 --> 01:09:40,300 oh, he's a big favorite of my wife Dodi. 1293 01:09:40,385 --> 01:09:44,513 She just loves to see two men entwined in a sweaty embrace. 1294 01:09:44,597 --> 01:09:46,723 She also loves it when it's in the wrestling ring. 1295 01:09:46,808 --> 01:09:49,518 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Superbeasto. 1296 01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:52,563 Hello! Good to see you! 1297 01:09:53,815 --> 01:09:56,608 It's so great to have you here. How do you do it? 1298 01:09:56,693 --> 01:09:58,944 Well, look, I don't want to dwell on the fact 1299 01:09:59,028 --> 01:10:00,946 that I saved the planet again. 1300 01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:04,157 I mean, it's just what I do. 1301 01:10:04,242 --> 01:10:07,953 But you do have a new rock 'n' roll compact disc, I understand. 1302 01:10:08,037 --> 01:10:10,289 Aw, where did you get that? 1303 01:10:10,373 --> 01:10:13,125 Well, your publicist sent it over. 1304 01:10:13,209 --> 01:10:15,419 It's just a little project I put together 1305 01:10:15,503 --> 01:10:18,463 with a certain group known as-- 1306 01:10:18,548 --> 01:10:20,591 Loverboy! 1307 01:10:35,982 --> 01:10:37,983 # Everyone's watchin' # 1308 01:10:38,067 --> 01:10:42,362 # To see what you will do # 1309 01:10:42,447 --> 01:10:45,532 - # Everyone's... # - Hurry! You're missing it. 1310 01:10:45,617 --> 01:10:47,117 Cool your jets, Mr. Roboto. 1311 01:10:47,201 --> 01:10:48,911 I've seen it all before. 1312 01:10:50,038 --> 01:10:53,790 I heard somebody's been a naughty little mechanical boy 1313 01:10:53,875 --> 01:10:55,792 and needs some serious discipline. 1314 01:10:55,877 --> 01:10:58,003 Oh my God! 1315 01:11:00,256 --> 01:11:03,008 I see someone's in the mood for love! 1316 01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:05,385 Functions not functioning! 1317 01:11:05,470 --> 01:11:10,015 Now, let's try out those new special modifications. 1318 01:11:10,099 --> 01:11:14,102 Yes, Mistress Suzi, whatever you say. 1319 01:11:16,731 --> 01:11:18,690 Fasten your seatbelt, Murray. 1320 01:11:18,775 --> 01:11:20,651 It's gonna be a bumpy night! 1321 01:11:20,735 --> 01:11:25,030 - Yeah, baby! Whoo! - Oh boy! 1322 01:11:25,114 --> 01:11:27,032 - Oh, man! - Yeah, baby! 1323 01:11:27,116 --> 01:11:29,034 - Never stop! Never never! - Baby, faster! 1324 01:11:29,118 --> 01:11:31,453 # Everyone's lookin' # 1325 01:11:31,537 --> 01:11:35,916 # To see if it was you # 1326 01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:37,042 # Everyone wants... # 1327 01:11:37,126 --> 01:11:39,419 Oh, God, give me strength. 1328 01:11:39,504 --> 01:11:43,840 Why do you subject me to this meaningless drivel 1329 01:11:43,925 --> 01:11:45,050 night after night? 1330 01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:47,010 At least put on BBC 1. 1331 01:11:47,095 --> 01:11:50,055 There's a riveting history of Lord Byron's teacup collection-- 1332 01:11:50,139 --> 01:11:53,141 Quick talking like a book, monkey. You ain't here to talk. 1333 01:12:00,775 --> 01:12:02,943 Put your filthy paws on me, you damn dirty ape! 1334 01:12:03,027 --> 01:12:05,654 Aagh! What the fuck? 1335 01:12:05,738 --> 01:12:07,614 Don't break a bitch! 1336 01:12:07,699 --> 01:12:11,201 # Come on, baby, let's go! # 1337 01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:18,750 Hey, it's you again. 1338 01:12:18,835 --> 01:12:20,794 We gotta stop meeting like this. 1339 01:12:20,878 --> 01:12:24,089 Did you like the movie? My part was pretty good. 1340 01:12:24,173 --> 01:12:28,427 I could have done without all the potty humor. 1341 01:12:28,511 --> 01:12:32,389 Instead of a punchline, they just flash some titties. 1342 01:12:34,350 --> 01:12:36,810 Not that I'm complaining. 1343 01:12:36,894 --> 01:12:39,604 I haven't seen a set of whoppers like that 1344 01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:42,107 since Ava Gardner. What a rack! 1345 01:12:43,693 --> 01:12:45,902 Okey-dokey, smokey, I guess that's it. 1346 01:12:45,987 --> 01:12:48,572 You really should go now. Yeah. 1347 01:12:49,741 --> 01:12:52,200 No no no. You should really go now. 1348 01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:57,706 Okay. All right, you asked for it. 1349 01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:02,711 Howdy, folks! My name's Betty Sue Lou 1350 01:13:02,795 --> 01:13:06,673 and it's my great pleasure to introduce tonight's special guests. 1351 01:13:06,758 --> 01:13:09,301 Straight from their two-night stand at the Barn Door... 1352 01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:11,344 ...Exit 7 off Route 91 in Ruggsville-- 1353 01:13:11,429 --> 01:13:14,222 all-you-can-eat fish popper Mondays-- kids love their poppers-- 1354 01:13:14,307 --> 01:13:17,142 here they are, the one and only 1355 01:13:17,226 --> 01:13:21,104 Banjo and Sullivan! Yee-ha! 1356 01:13:21,189 --> 01:13:24,149 # Liquored up in Jackson after the show # 1357 01:13:24,233 --> 01:13:28,320 # Bucket full of wild oats I had to sow # 1358 01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:31,823 # Promoter said he knew just where I should go # 1359 01:13:31,908 --> 01:13:35,744 # Hundreds of women for old Adam Banjo! # 1360 01:13:35,828 --> 01:13:38,205 Cat: Oh, fuck me! Just get me out of here! 1361 01:13:38,289 --> 01:13:42,167 # 1,000 pickup trucks in a gravel parking lot # 1362 01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:46,088 # Looked at my roadie, said, "Ready or not!" # 1363 01:13:46,172 --> 01:13:48,090 # Splashed on Hai Karate # 1364 01:13:48,174 --> 01:13:49,966 # Ready to run my race # 1365 01:13:50,051 --> 01:13:54,179 # Took a look around, there wasn't no woman in the place # 1366 01:13:54,263 --> 01:13:56,056 # Dick soup # 1367 01:13:56,140 --> 01:13:57,891 # Cock salad # 1368 01:13:57,975 --> 01:13:59,601 # Can't sing a ballad # 1369 01:13:59,685 --> 01:14:01,520 # Don't give a hoot # 1370 01:14:01,604 --> 01:14:03,522 # Dick soup # 1371 01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:12,239 # Dick soup-- # 1372 01:14:15,368 --> 01:14:19,371 All right, Pops, I think it's about time I end this fiasco of a picture show. 1373 01:14:19,455 --> 01:14:21,289 Say goodnight, Gracie. 1374 01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:27,212 Come on, Mama, let's boogie. 1375 01:14:27,296 --> 01:14:29,464 Nazi: Oh dear, that's going to leave a mark. 1376 01:17:02,118 --> 01:17:03,910 Make room for Daddy! 1377 01:17:03,995 --> 01:17:06,538 Cow-a-yah! 1378 01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:08,999 Oh, hello, Officer. Don't pull me over now. 1379 01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:10,333 Nice tools. 1380 01:17:10,418 --> 01:17:12,419 - Hah. - Where's your casino? 1381 01:17:12,503 --> 01:17:14,129 Take a look at this guy. 1382 01:17:14,213 --> 01:17:15,922 Those chaps should be illegal. 1383 01:17:16,007 --> 01:17:18,383 Hey, ain't this great, 1384 01:17:18,467 --> 01:17:21,344 a bunch of guys can get together and dance without being all gay? 1385 01:17:21,429 --> 01:17:25,390 Oh! Hey, easy, pal. I'm not being no fucking cowboy. 1386 01:17:27,226 --> 01:17:28,226 Cowboy: Bitch. 97509

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