All language subtitles for Last Week Tonight 911 ENG

>> WELCOME, WELCOME,

WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"

I'M JOHN OLIVER.

THANK YOU SO MUCH

FOR JOINING US.

IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK.

BONGBONG MARCOS WAS ELECTED

PRESIDENT OF THE PHILIPPINES,

WE SAW A PRETTY HOT PICTURE OF

A BLACK HOLE, AND THE EUROVISION

SONG CONTEST TOOK PLACE,

FEATURING THIS SPECTACULAR ENTRY

FROM NORWAY.

>>

>> YES.

EVERY PART OF THAT

GETS A BIG YES FROM ME.

FROM THE DRESS CODE, WHICH CAN

ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS "WEREWOLF

APPLYING FOR A LOAN," TO THE

SEXY BUSINESS MINION BACKUP

DANCERS, TO THE FOSSE MEETS 2008

GAGA CHOREOGRAPHY, TO THE LINES

"IS THAT SALIVA OR BLOOD

DRIPPING OFF YOUR CHIN",

THE HORNIEST LYRIC SINCE

ALL OF "MONTERO,"

IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY,

"IF YOU DON'T LIKE

THE NAME KEITH,

IMMA CALL YOU JIM"

WHICH IS PURE CHAOS.

THAT BAND --

CALLED "SUBWOOLFER,"

BY THE WAY --

UNDERSTOOD EXACTLY WHAT

EUROVISION IS FOR.

AS, INCIDENTALLY, DID THE

LATVIAN ENTRY, WHICH DIDN'T EVEN

MAKE IT TO THE FINAL, DESPITE

HAVING ONE OF THE BEST OPENINGS

TO A SONG IN THE HISTORY OF

MUSIC.

>>

>> I MEAN, COME ON.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

THE EUROVISION SONG

CONTEST IS MAYHEM

IN ALL THE BEST WAYS.

BUT AS MUCH AS I'D LOVE TO SPEND

THE NEXT TEN MINUTES TALKING

ABOUT THAT, WE SADLY HAVE TO

MOVE ON.

ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THIS HAPPENED

IN ALABAMA.

>> THE USE OF PUBERTY BLOCKERS

AND HORMONES TO TREAT

TRANSGENDER MINORS IS NOW

ILLEGAL IN ALABAMA.

>> YEAH, THE STATE'S TRANSGENDER

YOUTH BAN IS NOW IN EFFECT AND

THAT MEANS IT IS NOW A FELONY

FOR DOCTORS TO PROVIDE

MEDICATIONS TO TRANS PEOPLE

UNDER THE AGE OF 19.

ALABAMA'S THE FIRST STATE TO

ENACT SUCH A BAN ON THESE

TREATMENTS.

IT'S PUNISHABLE BY UP TO 10

YEARS IN PRISON.

>> THAT IS ABSOLUTELY

APPALLING.

AND LOOK, THERE ARE LOTS OF

UNDERSTANDABLE REASONS SOMEONE

IN ALABAMA MIGHT BE CRIMINALLY

PUNISHED.

FOR MURDER, SAY, OR FOR RUNNING

A PONZI SCHEME OR FOR CREATING

THIS ACTUAL STATUE AT AN ALABAMA

McDONALD'S OF RONALD McDONALD

REIMAGINED AS A GIANT

BOLL WEEVIL.

BUT NO ONE SHOULD EVER BE

FACING CRIMINAL PUNISHMENT FOR

PROVIDING HEALTHCARE TO YOUNG

PEOPLE.

THIS LAW WAS SIGNED BY THE

STATE'S GOVERNOR, KAY IVEY,

A WOMAN WHO, AS YOU CAN SEE,

ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE SHE'S SAYING

"HAM."

HERE SHE IS AGAIN, SAYING

"HAM," AND HERE SHE IS,

MIXING IT UP AND SAYING

"HAM, Y'ALL."

IVEY WAS DEEPLY COMMITTED TO

THESE ANTI TRANS LEGISLATION.

EVEN MAKING THEM

A FEATURE OF HER REELECTION

CAMPAIGN.

>> SOME THINGS ARE JUST FACTS.

SUMMER'S HOT, THE OCEAN'S BIG,

AND GENDER IS A QUESTION OF

BIOLOGY, NOT IDENTITY.

HERE IN ALABAMA, WE'RE GONNA GO

BY HOW GOD MADE US BECAUSE WE

IDENTIFY WITH SOMETHING LIBERALS

REALITY.

>> OKAY, FIRST, FUCK YOU.

SECOND, "SUMMER'S HOT, OCEAN'S

BIG" DOESN'T SOUND LIKE

THE WIND UP TO DENYING TRANS

PEOPLE THEIR RIGHTS.

IT SOUNDS LIKE A CHILDREN'S BOOK

THE AUTHOR WROTE WHILE HUNGOVER.

"SUMMER'S HOT.

OCEAN'S BIG.

I DON'T KNOW, WHAT MORE DO YOU

FUCKING KIDS WANT FROM ME?"

AS FOR HER POINT THAT WE HAVE

TO RESPECT "HOW GOD MADE US,"

DO WE?

REALLY?

WHY?

'CAUSE WE'VE GOT TOO MANY HOLES,

WAY TOO LITTLE HAIR,

AND NECKS --

FRAGILE LOLLIPOP BONES THAT

BALANCE OUR DUM-DUM HEADS IN ONE

VERY SPECIFIC DIRECTION OR ELSE

WE DIE.

NONE OF THIS IS

INTELLIGENT DESIGN.

AND WHILE ALABAMA'S WORST

MEE-MAW MIGHT APPEAL TO

"REALITY," THE TRUTH IS, THE

MAJOR MEDICAL ASSOCIATIONS

OPPOSE BANS ON GENDER-AFFIRMING

CARE, AND WITH GOOD REASON --

BECAUSE IT SAVES LIVES, AND

WITHDRAWING IT CAN BE INCREDIBLY

HARMFUL, AS THIS 15-YEAR-OLD

GIRL NAMED HARLEIGH

WILL TELL YOU.

>> IF I DID STOP MY

GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE,

MY PHYSICAL OUTSIDE WOULDN'T

REFLECT ON WHO I WAS INSIDE.

AND THAT WOULD, LIKE, COMPLETELY

DESTROY ME MENTALLY AND

PHYSICALLY.

>> OKAY, FIRST OFF,

HARLEIGH, YOU SEEM GREAT.

YOU'RE LIVING AS YOUR FULL,

AUTHENTIC SELF,

AS FOR GOVERNOR IVEY,

IF YOU CAN LOOK AT HARLEIGH

OR ANY CHILD AND COMFORTABLY

SAY, "TAKE AWAY THE CARE THAT

GIVES THEM PEACE AND A SENSE OF

SELF," YOU ARE A BAD PERSON.

IN FACT, THE ONLY GOOD THING YOU

COULD POSSIBLY BRING INTO THIS

WORLD IS IF YOU WERE PLAYED BY

BELOVED CHARACTER ACTRESS MARGO

MARTINDALE IN A LIMITED SERIES.

IT WOULDN'T BE EASY FOR MARGO,

BECAUSE SHE'S SO UNIVERSALLY

BELOVED, AND YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE

GARBAGE LADY, BUT IT WOULD BE

UNMISSABLE TV.

NOW THE RHETORIC AROUND THESE

BILLS IS THAT THEY'RE DESIGNED

TO PREVENT -- AND I AM USING THE

BIGGEST AIR QUOTES IMAGINABLE

HERE -- "IRREVERSIBLE HARM."

AND ITS SUPPORTERS --

AND ITS SUPPORTERS --

LIKE MANY TRANSPHOBES --

TEND TO FIXATE ON THE SURGERY

PART OF TRANSITIONING,

EVEN THOUGH, FOR THE RECORD

TRANSITIONING IS FAR

MORE EXPANSIVE THAN THAT,

MAY NOT ENTAIL SURGERY, AND, AS

WE'VE SAID BEFORE, WHEN IT DOES,

IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING

BUSINESS.

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO THE

CHILDREN OF ALABAMA, AS A DOCTOR

TOLD THEIR STATE LEGISLATURE

JUST LAST YEAR, IT'S NOT EVEN

A FACTOR.

>> HERE'S WHAT WE DO

AND WHAT WE DON'T.

GENITAL SURGERY IS NEVER

PERFORMED ON MINORS IN ALABAMA.

PUBERTY BLOCKING MEDICATIONS

ARE 100% REVERSIBLE AND CAN BE

LIFESAVING.

NOW, SOME OLDER TEENS,

NOT SEVEN-YEAR-OLDS,

MERIT HORMONAL THERAPY.

BUT INITIATION INVOLVES LENGTHY

INFORMED CONSENT, LENGTHY MENTAL

HEALTH OVERSIGHT, AND THE

SUB-SPECIALIZED CARE PROVIDED.

>> YEAH, OF COURSE DOCTORS

ARE GOING TO BE THOUGHTFUL AND

RIGOROUS WHEN CARING FOR THEIR

PATIENTS.

BECAUSE, UNLIKE THE ALABAMA

LEGISLATURE, THEY ACTUALLY CARE

ABOUT KIDS' WELL-BEING.

BUT YOU CAN SEE WHY LAWMAKERS

DON'T TELL THE WHOLE PICTURE

WHEN IT COMES TO GENDER

AFFIRMING CARE.

BECAUSE A LAWN SIGN SAYING,

"BAN LENGTHY INFORMED CONSENT,

LENGTHY MENTAL HEALTH OVERSIGHT,

AND SUB-SPECIALIZED CARE"

DOESN'T QUITE HAVE THE SAME

PUNCH TO IT, DOES IT?

NOW, THE GOOD NEWS IS,

ON FRIDAY, A FEDERAL JUDGE

ISSUED A PRELIMINARY INJUNCTION

ON ALABAMA'S BAN, MEANING THAT

THE STATE IS BARRED FOR NOW

FROM ENFORCING PART

OF ITS LAW, SPECIFICALLY

THE BAN ON ACCESS

TO MEDICATION.

BUT IT'S ALREADY WORKING ON

FILING AN APPEAL, AND THE REST

OF THE LAW REMAINS IN PLACE.

AND YOU CAN'T HELP THINKING THAT

THIS WHOLE THING IS JUST

RIGHT-WING VIRTUE-SIGNALING,

SENDING A HATEFUL MESSAGE

TO A CONSERVATIVE BASE

WITH NO THOUGHT GIVEN TO THE

PAIN IT WILL CAUSE.

AND NO MATTER WHAT THE EVENTUAL

FATE OF THE LAW IS, ACTUAL TRANS

PEOPLE AND THEIR ADVOCATES IN

ALABAMA HAVE HEARD THE MESSAGE

IT WAS MEANT TO SEND, LOUD AND

CLEAR.

>> AS HUMANS,

THEY'RE AFRAID OF US.

IT'S NOT REALLY FUN, BUT AS LONG

AS IT'S PROTECTING THEIR IDEALS,

THEY DON'T CARE.

>> I'M JUST A NORMAL KID.

LIKE, I WENT TO HOOVER HIGH

SCHOOL AND

I WAS IN ENGINEERING.

I PLAYED HOCKEY, A LITTLE WEIRD

FOR ALABAMA.

THAT'S PROBABLY THE MOST

ABNORMAL PART.

LIKE, I'M TRANS, AND WHAT HARM

AM I DOING?

>> I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU FEEL

SO COMFORTABLE DICTATING OTHER

PEOPLE'S LIVES?

I JUST NEED TO KNOW, NOT

RELIGION BASED, WHERE THE

ENTITLEMENT COMES FROM.

>> TO THOSE SENATORS AND

REPRESENTATIVES WHO SUPPORT THIS

BILL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR

MAKING ALABAMA A NATIONAL

EMBARRASSMENT YET AGAIN.

>> YEAH, HE'S

ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

AND TO TRANS CHILDREN IN ALABAMA

RIGHT NOW, LET ME SAY THIS.

Y'ALL --

AM I SAYING THAT RIGHT?

Y'ALL?

I DON'T THINK I CAN CARRY THAT

OFF.

YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

I CAN'T IMAGINE TRYING TO BUILD

SELF-ESTEEM IN CHILDHOOD AS YOUR

OWN GOVERNMENT ATTEMPTS TO

UNDERMINE YOUR VERY EXISTENCE.

BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW, YOU'RE

PROFOUNDLY VALUABLE AND

YOU ARE IRREPLACEABLE.

AS FOR KAY IVEY, WHAT THE FUCK

IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I KNOW THAT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION

WITH PROBABLY A LONG,

COMPLICATED ANSWER, BUT TO PUT

THIS IN TERMS YOU'LL DEFINITELY

SUMMER'S HOT, OCEAN'S BIG,

AND THE PEOPLE OF ALABAMA

DESERVE A LOT BETTER

THAN YOU.

AND NOW THIS.

>> AND NOW THE

DELIGHTFUL DELIGHT OF

ALLISON HAMMOND.

>> FROM THE ORIGINAL BLADE

RUNNER.

THIS IS WHAT THEY USED.

ATTENTION TO DETAILS.

FANS WILL PROBABLY LIKE THAT.

>> ARE YOU A FAN OF THE

ORIGINAL?

>> NEVER SEEN IT.

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A QUOTE

THAT YOU HAVE TO LET ME KNOW

WHETHER YOU THINK IT'S

SHAKESPEARE.

LOOK AT THAT.

BEAUTIFUL.

>> WHY CAN'T YOU JUST PICK IT

UP?

>> HERE ARE SOME OTHER NOTES.

HERE'S ONE OF THEM.

THIS IS "LOVE YOU."

YOU ARE THE BADDEST WOMAN.

>> YOU KNOW I DON'T DRINK.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.

>> MOVING ON.

OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS

UTILITIES -- SPECIFICALLY,

ELECTRIC UTILITIES --

THE COMPANIES RESPONSIBLE FOR

DELIVERING US POWER, AND ALSO,

GIVING US THE CREEPIEST MASCOT

REDDY KILOWATT,

A HELL-CREATURE WHO FOR DECADES,

APPEARED IN ADS FOR OVER TWO

HUNDRED ELECTRIC COMPANIES, LIKE

THIS ONE ABOUT HIM EMANCIPATING

WOMAN IN THE HOME AND THIS ONE,

WHERE HE TELLS A HOUSEWIFE,

"DON'T KILL YOURSELF,

IT AIN'T WORTH IT."

REDDY EVEN APPEARED ON

CHILDREN'S SHOWS, WHERE HE

UNDOUBTEDLY GAVE A WHOLE

GENERATION NIGHTMARES.

>> WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

>> HA, HA.

YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU CAN

EXPECT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN HERE,

MR. TOOT.

>> BOY, I'LL SAY.

WHOA, HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW?

THOSE -- THOSE PEANUTS,

THEY'RE FLOATING IN THE AIR!

>> THAT'S MY NEW ELECTROSTATIC

GENERATOR.

>> GET OUT OF THERE!

THAT'S THE ONLY TIME I'VE EVER

BEEN SCARED FOR A CLOWN.

WE CAN'T ACTUALLY SHOW YOU THE

REST OF THAT VIDEO, BECAUSE --

AND THIS IS TRUE -- IF YOU WATCH

IT TILL THE END, REDDY SHOWS UP

BEHIND YOU AND BRUTALLY MURDERS

YOU.

NOW, YOU PROBABLY DON'T GIVE TOO

MUCH THOUGHT TO YOUR LOCAL

ELECTRIC UTILITY.

BUT IF YOU DO, IT MIGHT BE

BECAUSE THEY'RE CHARGING

EXORBITANT RATES FOR A BASIC

HUMAN NECESSITY, AS THIS NORTH

CAROLINA PASTOR EXPLAINS.

>> ONE OF THE FOUNDING MEMBERS

OF THIS CHURCH, SISTER LINDA

JONES, SHE LITERALLY CUT HER

PILLS IN HALF, SKIPPED DAYS,

IN ORDER TO PAY HER LIGHT BILL.

GOD BLESS HER SOUL.

SHE PASSED ON.

AND THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE

RIGHT AROUND HERE WHO NEED THAT

HELP.

>> THAT IS TERRIBLE.

AND IN CASE IT BUMPED YOU AT

ALL, YOU'RE RIGHT, THAT WAS A

PROPERTY BROTHER YOU SPOTTED

THERE.

HE MADE A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT

UTILITIES AND IT'S ACTUALLY

PRETTY GOOD, TO THE POINT YOU'RE

EVEN GOING TO SEE A LITTLE MORE

OF IT LATER ON.

AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHICH

PROPERTY BROTHER THAT IS, I'LL

GIVE YOU A CLUE.

IT'S THE CIRCUMCISED ONE.

AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH

PROPERTY BROTHER IS CIRCUMCISED,

YOU'RE CLEARLY NOT THAT BIG A

FAN OF THE "PROPERTY BROTHERS."

AND HIGH BILLS ARE JUST THE

BEGINNING OF THE PROBLEMS HERE.

BECAUSE UTILITIES ARE ALSO

EXCEPTIONALLY PRONE TO SCANDAL.

IN FACT, JUST GOOGLE YOUR

UTILITY COMPANY RIGHT NOW AND

THE WORD "SCANDAL," AND CHANCES

ARE, THEY'VE GOTTEN INTO SOME

MAJOR TROUBLE.

IT'S BASICALLY LIKE GOOGLING

YOUR LOCAL JIMMY JOHNS

AND "E. COLI" OR THE NAME OF

YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER FROM HIGH

SCHOOL AND "JANUARY 6TH."

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE

THE RESULTS THAT YOU FIND.

AND AT THEIR WORST, UTILITIES

CAN EVEN BE DEADLY.

TAKE PACIFIC GAS AND ELECTRIC,

ONE OF CALIFORNIA'S LARGEST

UTILITIES.

WE'VE TALKED BEFORE ABOUT THE

2018 CAMP FIRE, THE DEADLIEST

WILDFIRE IN CALIFORNIA HISTORY,

AND HOW IT ALL STARTED WHEN THIS

HOOK HOLDING UP A PG&E

TRANSMISSION LINE BROKE, CAUSING

THE LINE TO IGNITE THE BRUSH

BELOW, EVENTUALLY DECIMATING

SEVERAL NEARBY COMMUNITIES AND

LEAVING 85 PEOPLE DEAD.

PG&E HAS SINCE PAID FINES AND

SETTLEMENTS, BUT IT'S STILL VERY

MUCH IN OPERATION.

DESPITE THE FACT THAT WASN'T

CLOSE TO THE ONLY SCANDAL

THEY'VE BEEN INVOLVED IN, AS

THIS REPORTER WILL TELL YOU.

>> THIS IS A COMPANY THAT, IT

WAS FINED HUNDREDS OF TIMES AND

FACED MORE THAN $2 BILLION --

ALMOST $3 BILLION WORTH

OF FINES.

YOU KNOW, IF PG&E WAS AN

INDIVIDUAL AND NOT A

CORPORATION, I THINK BY NOW THEY

WOULD BE IN PRISON.

THERE'S JUST BEEN REPEAT

OFFENDERS.

THEY'VE BEEN ON PROBATION.

THEY'VE VIOLATED

PROBATION.

THE PROBLEM IS YOU CAN'T TAKE

A CORPORATION AND PUT IT INTO

PRISON.

>> YEAH, HE'S RIGHT!

YOU CAN'T.

EVEN THOUGH MANY CORPORATIONS

CLEARLY DESERVE TO BE IN PRISON,

FROM ENRON TO PURDUE TO ANY

COMPANY THAT INSISTS ON TALKING

LIKE A SASSY BITCH ON SOCIAL

MEDIA.

HELLMANN'S ONCE TWEETED,

"YOU'RE IN THEIR DMs,

WE'RE GETTING SPREAD

ON THEIR BREAD?"

AND WHY?

YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS,

HELLMANN'S.

YOU CAN JUST BE MAYONNAISE.

BUT PG&E IS NOT ONLY NOT IN

PRISON; IT IS STILL SUPPLYING

POWER TO MILLIONS OF

CALIFORNIANS WHO HAVE NO CHOICE

IN THE MATTER.

AND IF YOU'RE THINKING

"HOW THE FUCK IS THAT POSSIBLE?"

THAT IS WHAT THIS STORY

IS ABOUT.

IT'S ABOUT THE INCREDIBLE AMOUNT

OF POWER WE GIVE TO UTILITIES,

HOW WEAKLY THEY CAN BE

REGULATED, AND THE DAMAGE

THEY CAN DO.

AND LET'S START WITH THE SINGLE

MOST IMPORTANT THING TO KNOW

ABOUT UTILITY COMPANIES, WHICH

IS THAT FOR MOST OF US, THEY'RE

ACTUALLY THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN.

>> IF YOU WANT TO GO BUY AN

iPHONE OR ANY OTHER KIND OF

CONSUMER PRODUCT, YOU GO OUT TO

A STORE AND YOU HAVE A NUMBER OF

CHOICES.

WITH ELECTRICITY, IN MOST OF THE

COUNTRY, YOU REALLY ONLY HAVE

ONE CHOICE, AND THAT COMPANY HAS

A MONOPOLY.

>> EXACTLY.

IN OUR MODERN ECONOMY, YOU'RE

SUPPOSED TO HAVE CHOICE.

JUST LOOK AT ALL THE STREAMING

SERVICES OUT THERE.

THERE'S BLOCKBUSTER 2.0,

SUPERHEROES AND OLD RACISM,

ANIME, PROBABLY CRASHING ON YOU

RIGHT NOW, NO IDEA, NO IDEA, AND

UNTIL RECENTLY, NEWS QUIBI.

THAT'S ARGUABLY TOO MUCH CHOICE.

BUT UTILITIES OPERATING AS

NATURAL MONOPOLIES DATES BACK

TO THE FACT THAT, AROUND THE

START OF THE 20TH CENTURY,

WE NEEDED TO BUILD A NATIONWIDE

POWER GRID FROM SCRATCH, AND

THAT OBVIOUSLY REQUIRED A HUGE

INVESTMENT.

COMPANIES WERE ONLY INCENTIVIZED

TO DO THAT WITH A GUARANTEE THAT

THEY'D BE ABLE TO OPERATE IN A

NONCOMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT.

AND AT THE TIME,

THAT MADE SENSE.

BUT THOSE MONOPOLIES PERSIST

TO THIS DAY.

MOSTLY AS FOR PROFIT

INVESTOR OWNED COMPANIES.L

NOW, IN EXCHANGE FOR GIVING

UTILITIES A DEAL THAT SWEET,

WE DID PUT SOME RESTRICTIONS

IN PLACE.

THE LAW SAYS THEY SHOULD SPEND

THE LEAST THEY CAN WHILE

PROVIDING QUALITY,

ENVIRONMENTALLY SAFE SERVICE.

WHICH SOUNDS GREAT.

BECAUSE IT CAPS THEIR ABILITY TO

MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY.

BUT -- AND THIS IS

A HUGE "BUT" --

THERE'S A CARVEOUT.

BECAUSE WHEN THEY BUILD

SOMETHING, A PIECE OF PHYSICAL

INFRASTRUCTURE, THEY'RE

ALLOWED TO THEN PASS ALONG THAT

COST TO YOU THROUGH YOUR BILL,

PLUS AN ADDITIONAL PERCENTAGE

THEY GET TO KEEP AS PROFIT,

USUALLY AROUND TEN PERCENT.

AND THIS CREATES A CLEAR

INCENTIVE.

THE BIGGER THE PROJECT,

LIKE A POWER PLANT,

THE MORE PROFIT THEY MAKE,

AS THIS ACTIVIST EXPLAINS.

>> BIG MONOPOLY UTILITIES GET

A GUARANTEED RANGE OF A RATE OF

RETURN ON THEIR CAPITAL

EXPENDITURES.

SO, LIKE A WAITER

IN A RESTAURANT WHERE THERE'S

A GUARANTEED TIP, THE MORE THAT

IS SPENT, IF YOU BUY DESSERT

OR YOU GET A BOTTLE OF WINE,

THE MORE MONEY

THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE.

>> RIGHT.

IF YOUR PROFIT IS PEGGED TO

DOING CERTAIN THINGS, YOU'RE

GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU DO THOSE

THINGS MORE.

JUST LIKE IF HBO ONLY PAID ME

FOR EVERY TIME I GOT WEIRDLY

HORNY FOR AN ANIMAL...

EXCEPT THAT'S ACTUALLY A BAD

EXAMPLE, BECAUSE THE SHOW WOULD

PRETTY MUCH LOOK EXACTLY LIKE IT

ALREADY DOES.

NOT NOW!

NOT NOW!

I'M TRYING TO MAKE A POINT.

GO AWAY BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND.

GOODNESS GRACIOUS.

AND IN THE BEST CASE SCENARIO,

THIS MIGHT MEAN UTILITIES ARE

INVESTING IN INFRASTRUCTURE

THAT IS BADLY NEEDED.

THE PROBLEM IS, THEY CAN ALSO BE

SHAMELESS IN INCREASING

SPENDING, EVEN WHEN IT'S NOT

NEEDED OR ON PROJECTS THAT ARE

ACTIVELY FALLING APART.

TAKE SOUTH CAROLINA.

WHEN UTILITIES THERE TRIED TO

ADD TWO NUCLEAR REACTORS TO AN

EXISTING PLANT, THE PROJECT'S

COST SPIRALED.

AND A MASSIVE FEDERAL

INVESTIGATION LATER REVEALED

THAT EXECUTIVES AT SOUTH

CAROLINA ELECTRIC AND GAS AND

ITS PARENT COMPANY KNEW THE

PROJECT WAS FACING MAJOR DELAYS

AND COST OVERRUNS, BUT WITHHELD

THAT INFORMATION IN ORDER TO

KEEP IT GOING.

MEANWHILE, LOCAL CUSTOMERS PAID

MORE THAN $2 BILLION IN

THE FORM OF HIGHER BILLS FOR A

PROJECT WHICH, BY THE WAY,

NEVER GENERATED ANY POWER.

AND SOME WORKING ON THE PROJECT

AT THE TIME WERE TROUBLED BY

WHAT THEY WERE SEEING.

JUST LISTEN TO A LEAKED

VOICEMAIL FROM A VICE-PRESIDENT

AT THE PARENT COMPANY WHO LATER

BECAME A WHISTLEBLOWER IN WHICH

SHE TRIED TO WARN HER COLLEAGUES

ABOUT WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

>> THEY ARE MISMANAGING THAT

PROJECT.

AND IT'S AT Y'ALL'S EXPENSE.

THEY'RE DOING IT BECAUSE THEY

WANT TO MAKE MONEY AND THEY'RE

PROPPING UP EARNINGS TO BE ABLE

TO MAKE THEIR BONUSES, AND IT'S

GOING TO BE AT YOUR EXPENSE.

>> YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY

SHOCKING.

NOT JUST WHAT SHE'S SAYING, BUT

ALSO THAT PEOPLE STILL LEAVE

VOICEMAILS.

ABSOLUTELY NO ONE SHOULD

BE DOING THAT ANYMORE.

IN FACT, EVERY VOICEMAIL

GREETING SHOULD JUST BE,

"SORRY I MISSED YOUR CALL.

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE A MESSAGE

AFTER THE TONE.

JUST TEXT ME INSTEAD

BECAUSE IT'S NOT 1997."

AND OVERSPENDING ISN'T THE ONLY

WAY UTILITIES' INCENTIVES CAN

WIND UP SCREWING OVER CUSTOMERS.

BECAUSE THEY CAN DELIBERATELY

STIFLE INNOVATION THAT MIGHT

MAKE POWER CHEAPER OR BE A NET

BENEFIT TO SOCIETY, AS THIS

SOLAR POWER EXECUTIVE WILL TELL

YOU.

>> NOW SOLAR IS BECOMING REAL.

THE UTILITY MONOPOLIES ARE

SAYING, "WELL, WAIT A MINUTE,

WE'VE GOT TO CRUSH IT

BEFORE IT GETS TOO BIG."

THEY WANT TO BUILD MORE PLANTS

SO THEY CAN MAKE MORE MONEY, AND

IF WE TAKE A LITTLE BITE OUT OF

THAT APPLE AND WE SAY, "HEY,

GUYS, WE'VE GOT SOLAR PANELS

EVERYWHERE ON ALL THESE HOMES,

YOU DON'T NEED TO BUILD THAT

MANY MORE POWER PLANTS."

THEN THE UTILITY GOES,

"WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.

HOW AM I GOING TO MAKE

MORE MONEY NEXT YEAR?"

>> EXACTLY.

PEOPLE PUTTING UP SOLAR PANELS

AND GENERATING THEIR OWN

ELECTRICITY THREATENS THE

ANTI-COMPETITIVE STRUCTURE OF A

UTILITY'S MONOPOLY, SO THEY'RE

OBVIOUSLY GOING TO TRY

AND STEP IN AND BLOCK IT.

WHO WANTS COMPETITION?

IT JUST MAKES THINGS HARDER!

YOU THINK I WANT TO COMPETE WITH

"EUPHORIA" OR "LOVE ISLAND"

OR THIS YOUTUBE VIDEO OF DUCKS

ANNIHILATING A BOWL OF PEAS?

YOU COULD BE WATCHING THAT

ON A LOOP RIGHT NOW INSTEAD OF

WATCHING THIS SHOW, YOU IDIOTS.

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

MAKE BETTER CHOICES.

SOME ACTIVISTS HAVE EVEN USED

ROOFTOP SOLAR AS A WAY OF

CHALLENGING THE MONOPOLIES IN

THEIR STATES.

REMEMBER THAT CHURCH FROM

EARLIER, WHERE THE PASTOR WAS

TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE CUTTING

PILLS IN HALF TO MAKE ENDS MEET?

IN 2015, TO HELP CUT COSTS,

IT PARTNERED WITH THIS LOCAL

NONPROFIT, AND IN AN ATTEMPT TO

CHALLENGE THE LAWS ON THE BOOKS,

THE NONPROFIT INSTALLED A SMALL

SOLAR PANEL SYSTEM ON THE ROOF

OF THE CHURCH, AT NO UPFRONT

COST, FINANCING IT BY SELLING

ELECTRICITY TO THEM AT ABOUT

HALF THE RATE THAT THEIR

UTILITY, DUKE ENERGY, CHARGED.

SIMILAR ARRANGEMENTS ARE

PERMITTED IN OTHER STATES, BUT

NOT IN NORTH CAROLINA, AND DUKE

ENERGY PUSHED BACK HARD, ASKING

THE STATE'S REGULATORS TO ISSUE

A CEASE AND DESIST TO THE

NON-PROFIT AND INVOKE ITS POWER

TO FINE THEM UP TO A THOUSAND

DOLLARS A DAY FOR EVERY DAY IT

SOLD POWER TO THE CHURCH.

AND IN THE END, DUKE ENERGY GOT

WHAT THEY WANTED.

THAT CHURCH'S SOLAR ARRANGEMENT

WAS SHUT DOWN, AND ANY HOPE OF

REPLICATING IT IN THE STATE WAS

SQUASHED.

AND WHEN CIRCUMCISED

PROPERTY BROTHER ASKED DUKE

ABOUT THIS WHOLE SAGA, THEIR

RESPONSE WASN'T GREAT.

>> FAITH COMMUNITY CHURCH WANTED

TO TEST REGULATION IN NORTH

CAROLINA BY DOING SOMETHING THAT

WAS BASICALLY ILLEGAL.

>> THEY WERE TRYING TO PICK

A FIGHT?

>> YOU COULD SAY THAT.

THEY HAD A GOOD SETUP TO GET

PUBLICITY.

THIS WAS AN AFRICAN AMERICAN

CHURCH, AND WE'RE A BIG UTILITY

AND WE'RE A TARGET, AND

SOMETIMES THERE ARE GROUPS OUT

THERE, THEY'RE NOT TRYING TO

ADVANCE POLICY, THEY'RE TRYING

TO GET MEDIA ATTENTION AND THEY

DID A GOOD JOB HERE.

>> ARE THERE SITUATIONS WHERE,

AS A HUMAN BEING, YOU HAVE A

CONFLICT AS A UTILITY COMPANY

WHERE YOU'RE SAYING THIS IS HOW

IT HAS TO BE, VERSUS MAYBE

THERE'S A BIGGER PICTURE WITH

SOMETHING THAT'S BROKEN?

>> I THINK THAT'S JUST THE WAY

IT HAS BEEN.

>> WAIT, WAIT.

"JUST THE WAY IT'S BEEN"

HAS, HISTORICALLY, NEVER

BEEN A GREAT JUSTIFICATION FOR

SOMETHING STILL HAPPENING.

IN FACT, THERE'S ONLY ONE TIME

THAT WORKS AS AN ARGUMENT, AND

IT'S WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS

SAUSAGE RACE.

NOW, WHY DO A BUNCH OF SAUSAGES

RACE AROUND THE FIELD BEFORE THE

BOTTOM OF THE SIXTH INNING?

BECAUSE THAT'S JUST THE WAY

IT'S BEEN.

IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE,

AND MAY IT NEVER CHANGE.

LONG LIVE THE RACING SAUSAGES.

AND THERE ARE EXAMPLES ALL OVER

THE COUNTRY OF UTILITIES

GETTING IN THE WAY OF PEOPLE

USING SOLAR ENERGY.

THE ARGUMENT BEING, IF PEOPLE

START LEAVING THE GRID AND

GENERATING THEIR OWN POWER, THEN

OVER TIME, THE COST IS GOING TO

GO UP FOR EVERYONE LEFT BEHIND.

AND LOOK, THERE IS A LONGER

CONVERSATION TO BE HAD ABOUT THE

PROPER WAY TO BILL PEOPLE WHO

USE SOLAR PANELS.

BUT MAKING IT COST PROHIBITIVE

IS DEFINITELY NOT THE ANSWER.

AND IF YOU'RE THINKING,

"SHOULDN'T THERE BE SOMEONE WHO

CAN REIN THESE COMPANIES IN?"

WELL, IN THEORY, THERE IS.

MOST STATES HAVE PUBLIC UTILITY

COMMISSIONS.

THEY'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THINGS

LIKE SIGNING OFF ON ANY BIG

INVESTMENTS PROPOSED AND ALSO

OVERSEEING THE SETTING OF RATES.

UNFORTUNATELY, MANY ARE BADLY

OUTMATCHED BY THE UTILITIES

THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO REGULATE.

THIS CAN HAVE MAJOR

CONSEQUENCES.

A FEW YEARS BACK, MISSISSIPPI

POWER RAN INTO MASSIVE COST

OVERRUNS ON A NEW PLANT IT WAS

BUILDING, WHICH WAS INITIALLY

EXPECTED TO COST $1.8 BILLION

BUT ENDED UP BALLOONING

TO 7.5 BILLION.

AND IN HINDSIGHT, THERE WERE

OBVIOUS RED FLAGS THAT YOU'D

HOPE THE STATE COMMISSION

WOULD'VE BEEN MORE WARY OF FROM

THE VERY START.

JUST LISTEN TO A COMPANY

REPRESENTATIVE EXPLAIN HIS SIDE

OF THE STORY.

>> CAN YOU TELL US WHY THE

PROJECT IS OVER BUDGET AND ALSO

BEHIND SCHEDULE?

>> I WOULD TELL YOU THAT IF WE

MADE ANY ERRORS IN JUDGMENT AT

ALL, ANY MISSTEPS, IS THAT WHEN

WE TOOK THAT PROPOSAL TO THE

COMMISSION, WE WERE ONLY AT

BETWEEN 10 OR 15% OF DESIGN.

AND SO I THINK IT'S --

THE LITTLE ENGINEERING THAT WE

HAD DONE AT THAT PARTICULAR

POINT IN TIME THAT HAS SORT OF

COME BACK TO HAUNT US

A LITTLE BIT IN TERMS OF COST

AND SCHEDULE.

>> WAIT.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

THE PLANT WAS ONLY 10% TO 15%

DESIGNED, AND THE COMMISSION

LET IT GO AHEAD ANYWAY?

THAT'S NOT HOW DESIGNING COMPLEX

ENERGY PLANTS SHOULD WORK,

THAT'S NOT EVEN HOW DESIGNING

LEGO SETS WORK, WHICH IS WHY

YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ONE CALLED

"A LITTLE TREE AND YOU FIGURE

OUT THE REST."

NOW, IN MISSISSIPPI'S CASE,

THE PROBLEM SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN

A COMMISSION RUSHING TO APPROVE

A PROJECT WITHOUT DOING PROPER

DUE DILIGENCE.

BUT IN OTHER CASES, LIKE

ALABAMA'S STATE COMMISSION, THE

PROBLEM SEEMS TO BE IDEOLOGICAL.

IT'S BEEN DESCRIBED AS ONE OF

THE MOST OPAQUE, POLITICALLY

MOTIVATED AND ENVIRONMENTALLY

HOSTILE COMMISSIONS IN THE

COUNTRY.

THEIR COMMISSIONERS ARE ACTUALLY

ELECTED, AND I DO WANT TO SHOW

YOU ONE CAMPAIGN AD FOR THE

WOMAN WHO IS CURRENTLY RUNNING

IT.

>> TWINKLE'S PRIORITY IS OUR

JOBS!

>> WE NEED MORE CONSERVATIVES

LIKE TWINKLE WHO PUT JOBS FIRST.

>> TWINKLE IS A PROVEN

CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN.

>> WHO HAS STOOD UP AND FOUGHT

THE LIBERAL SPECIAL INTEREST IN

WASHINGTON.

>> CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN

TWINKLE ANDRESS CAVANAUGH.

OUR WAY OF FIGHTING BACK.

>> YEAH.

THAT WOMAN IS NAMED TWINKLE.

THAT IS HER ACTUAL GIVEN NAME.

AS IN, WHEN SHE WAS BORN, HER

PARENTS WERE ASKED, "WHAT DO YOU

WANT TO NAME YOUR BABY?"

AND THEY GENUINELY REPLIED,

"TWINKLE.

DEFINITELY TWINKLE."

SHE EVEN CONFIRMED THIS HERSELF,

SAYING, "MY DADDY THOUGHT

I NEEDED A FANCY NAME.

IT MAY BE CUTE

FOR A THREE-YEAR-OLD,

BUT IT GETS OLD."

AND HONESTLY?

I COULD SEE HOW BEING CALLED

TWINKLE COULD GET OLD AFTER

AWHILE.

BUT LET ME SAY THIS, TWINKLE,

FOR EVERYONE WHO ISN'T YOU,

CALLING YOU TWINKLE

WILL NEVER GET OLD.

IT WILL NEVER GET OLD, TWINKLE.

AND LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING TWINKLE

IS A BAD COMMISSIONER BECAUSE

SHE'S CALLED TWINKLE.

I'M SAYING TWINKLE'S A BAD

COMMISSIONER BECAUSE FOR ONE

THING, WHEN THERE WAS A PUSH FOR

MORE OPEN HEARINGS ON

ELECTRICITY RATES IN THE STATE,

SHE OUTRIGHT SAID "I WANT TO

EXCLUDE THE ENVIRONMENTALISTS

FROM TAKING PART IN THE

PROCESS."

AND SUGGESTED THAT ENVIRONMENTAL

EXTREMISTS ONLY WANTED THESE

OPEN PROCEEDINGS SO THEY COULD

TROT OUT THEIR FANCY

SAN FRANCISCO ENVIRONMENTAL

LAWYERS AND JUNK SCIENCE

HUCKSTERS.

AND IT'S NOT JUST TWINKLE!

WHEN ONE OF ALABAMA'S OTHER

COMMISSIONERS, CHIP BEEKER --

AGAIN, REAL NAME, BECAUSE IT

SEEMS ALABAMA'S UTILITY

COMMISSIONERS MUST, BY LAW,

SOUND LIKE HANNA-BARBERA CARTOON

CHARACTERS --

WHEN CHIP BEEKER WAS RUNNING FOR

HIS POSITION,

HE WROTE IN AN OP-

"THE SO-CALLED

CLIMATE CHANGE CRISIS IS ABOUT

AS REAL AS UNICORNS AND LITTLE

GREEN MEN FROM MARS."

WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY RIDICULOUS,

BECAUSE CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL,

AND UNICORNS DO NOT EXIST.

SADLY.

ALTHOUGH IF YOU'RE IN THE MARKET

FOR A MAJESTIC CREATURE WITH A

LOT OF HORN, THIS GUY MAY BE

ABLE TO HELP YOU.

AND LOOK, HAVING A COMMISSION

RUN BY SCIENCE-DENYING

IDEOLOGUES IS BAD ENOUGH.

BUT IN OTHER STATES, PUBLIC

OFFICIALS CAN APPEAR FULLY IN

UTILITIES' POCKETS.

TAKE OHIO.

A FEW YEARS BACK, A BIG UTILITY

THERE, FIRSTENERGY, WAS CAUGHT

UP IN THIS MASSIVE SCANDAL.

>> OHIO HOUSE SPEAKER LARRY

HOUSEHOLDER AND FOUR OTHERS HAVE

BEEN CHARGED WITH RACKETEERING,

ACCUSED BY THE FEDS OF FUNNELING

MILLIONS FROM THE ENERGY COMPANY

INTO A 501C4 DARK MONEY GROUP

CALLED GENERATION NOW.

>> OKAY, FIRST.

"GENERATION NOW" SOUNDS LIKE

A FAILED '90s BOY BAND WHOSE

MEMBERS ARE ALL NOW SPOKESMEN

FOR DIFFERENT CRYPTOCURRENCY

COMPANIES.

BUT VERY BASICALLY,

WHAT HAPPENED THERE IS THAT

FIRSTENERGY FUNNELED SIXTY

MILLION DOLLARS TO THE SPEAKER

OF THE OHIO HOUSE, TO GET HIM TO

PASS A BILL, H.B. 6, THAT'S BEEN

CALLED THE WORST ENERGY BILL OF

THE 21ST CENTURY.

NOW, I HAVE TO TELL YOU.

THE HOUSE SPEAKER IN QUESTION

DENIES WRONGDOING AND IS STILL

AWAITING TRIAL.

BUT WHAT'S VERY CLEAR IS THAT

FIRSTENERGY WAS WORKING VERY

HARD TO INFLUENCE THE

DECISION-MAKING PROCESS.

THEY ACTUALLY PAID THE CHAIRMAN

OF THE STATE'S UTILITY

COMMISSION $22 MILLION IN

CONSULTING FEES IN THE YEARS

DIRECTLY PRECEDING HIM BECOMING

THEIR REGULATOR.

AND WHILE HE DENIES DOING

ANYTHING IMPROPER, I WILL POINT

OUT THAT ON THE VERY DAY THE

BILL PASSED, FIRST ENERGY'S

CEO WROTE TO HIM, SAYING --

AND I QUOTE --

"H.B. 6,

FUCK ANYBODY WHO AIN'T US."

WHICH IS VERY COOL.

AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, THE MAN

WHO WROTE THAT IS THIS GUY, WHO

LOOKS LIKE HE'S LEFT LENGTHY

REVIEWS FOR MULTIPLE GAS GRILLS

ON HomeDepot.com.

THIS MAN WROTE THE WORDS

"FUCK ANYBODY WHO AIN'T US."

THIS OLD WHITE MAN TYPED THOSE

PRECISE WORDS WITH HIS OLD

WHITE FINGERS.

OUR UTILITY SYSTEM

LARGELY CONSISTS OF FOR-PROFIT

COMPANIES WITH MONOPOLIES OVER

AN ESSENTIAL SERVICE, BUILDING

AS MUCH SHIT AS POSSIBLE SO THEY

CAN PASS THE COST ALONG TO YOU

ON YOUR ELECTRIC BILL.

AND TO SEE JUST HOW BAD ALL THIS

CAN GET, LET'S GO BACK TO PG&E,

ARGUABLY CALIFORNIA'S MOST

HATED COMPANY.

IN FACT, A QUICK SKIM THROUGH

ANY PG&E AFFILIATE'S YELP PAGE

GIVES YOU JUST A TASTE OF THAT,

BECAUSE YOU'LL FIND REVIEWS

LIKE, "ABSOLUTE SHIT SHOW."

"FUCKING GARBAGE COMPANY."

"FUCK YOU, PG&E.

YOUR DAY WILL COME."

"THE ACTUAL TECHNICIANS LOVELY.

OFTEN HOT, TOO BOOT.

HIT OR MISS.

EITHER DISMISSIVE AND STUPID

OR THOUGHTFUL AND KIND.

CORPORATION ITSELF

EVIL EMPIRE PERSONIFIED."

WHICH IS A LOT MORE NUANCED THAN

YOU TYPICALLY FIND

IN YELP REVIEWS.

LOOK, I UNDERSTAND THAT THE

LOWEST RANKING, SMOKING HOT

EMPLOYEE THAT I INTERFACED WITH

ISN'T TO BLAME FOR THE COMPANY'S

LARGER STRUCTURAL PROBLEMS.

BUT FOR THE RECORD,

FUCK EVERYONE IN THE C-SUITE

WITH A CACTUS.

AND YOU CAN SEE WHY CALIFORNIANS

HATE PG&E SO MUCH.

IN JUST ONE THREE-YEAR TIMESPAN,

IT WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR AROUND

1,500 FIRES.

THAT'S AN AVERAGE OF MORE THAN

ONE FIRE A DAY.

AND AT THAT POINT, PG&E ARE LESS

A UTILITY AND MORE A FIRE

COMPANY THAT OCCASIONALLY ALSO

DELIVERS ELECTRICITY

TO PEOPLE'S HOMES.

AND SO MANY OF PG&E'S PROBLEMS

STEM FROM THE WAY THEY'RE

INCENTIVIZED TO OPERATE.

BECAUSE REMEMBER, THEIR PROFITS

ARE PEGGED TO MONEY THEY SPEND

ON NEW INFRASTRUCTURE THEY

BUILD, NOT ON WHAT THEY SPEND

MAINTAINING IT OR THE AREA

AROUND IT.

AND WHEN YOU DON'T MAINTAIN

EQUIPMENT, EVENTUALLY IT FAILS.

THAT OLD HOOK THAT BROKE

AND STARTED THE CAMP FIRE

WAS 97 YEARS OLD.

AND IT'S NOT EVEN THEIR ONLY

HOOK THAT WAS DANGEROUSLY

WORN DOWN.

>> THIS HOOK FOUND A COUPLE OF

MILES UP THE LINE FROM WHERE THE

CAMP FIRE STARTED SHOWS JUST HOW

BAD THINGS GOT.

A GROOVE MORE THAN HALFWAY

THROUGH THE METAL FROM DECADES

OF GRINDING AGAINST THE HOLE

IT HUNG FROM.

>> HOLY SHIT.

"DECADES OF GRINDING" ISN'T

EXACTLY A PHRASE YOU WANT TO

ASSOCIATE WITH A VITAL PIECE OF

OUR POWER GRID.

IT'S BARELY A PHRASE YOU WANT TO

HEAR AT YOUR GRANDPARENTS'

50TH ANNIVERSARY.

I MEAN, YOU'RE HAPPY FOR THEM.

IT'S OBVIOUSLY WHAT'S KEPT THEM

TOGETHER FOR SO LONG.

YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

AND IT'S NOT LIKE PG&E DIDN'T

HAVE THE MONEY TO PERFORM BASIC

MAINTENANCE, BECAUSE IN THE FIVE

YEARS BEFORE THE CAMP FIRE,

IT ISSUED OVER 5 BILLION

IN DIVIDENDS TO SHAREHOLDERS.

LOOK, CLEARLY, THIS ISN'T A

SYSTEM WHERE YOU, THE CUSTOMER,

ARE GOING TO BE PRIORITIZED.

IF ANYTHING, THE MODEL ONLY

MAKES SENSE IF THE COMPANY'S

SHAREHOLDERS ARE VIEWED AS THE

CUSTOMER AND YOUR BILLS ARE THE

PRODUCT.

AND WHILE YOU WOULD HOPE ELECTED

OFFICIALS IN CALIFORNIA WOULD

CRACK DOWN ON PG&E, MANY TAKE

MONEY FROM THEM AND DON'T SEEM

TO SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

JUST WATCH AS CALIFORNIA'S

GOVERNOR BLOWS OFF

A PRETTY POINTED QUESTION.

>> PG&E WAS CONVICTED OF A

FEDERAL -- OF SIX FEDERAL

FELONIES IN 2016.

AFTER THAT, YOU TOOK MORE THAN

$200,000 TO HELP GET ELECTED.

HOW SHOULD PEOPLE TRUST YOU TO

BE RUNNING THE SHOW TO COME UP

WITH THE SOLUTION?

>> I, UH...

I WISH YOU LUCK WITH WHATEVER

YOU'RE WORKING ON,

BUT THAT'S A STRANGE QUESTION.

>> WAIT, IS IT, THOUGH?

IS IT?

BECAUSE THAT SEEMED PRETTY

REASONABLE TO ME.

IT'S NOT LIKE THAT REPORTER

ASKED, "MR. GOVERNOR!

WHY DO YOU THINK THE WIGGLES

HAD PRINCESS DIANA KILLED?"

THAT IS A STRANGE QUESTION.

THERE WAS NO BIG RED CAR

ANYWHERE NEAR THE SCENE.

BUT WHAT WHAT HE JUST ASKED YOU

DESERVED A PROPER ANSWER.

AND YET, FRUSTRATINGLY, IF YOU

LIVE IN CALIFORNIA AND PG&E IS

YOUR PROVIDER, THERE'S NOTHING

YOU CAN DO.

EVERY TIME YOU TURN YOUR LIGHTS

ON, YOU'RE REMINDED THAT YOUR

UTILITY HAS KILLED PEOPLE, AND

THE ONLY REAL RECOURSE YOU HAVE

IS GIVING THEM A SHITTY

YELP REVIEW.

SO HOW DO WE FIX THIS?

WELL, IF WE WERE ABLE TO START

OUR POWER GRID OVER FROM

SCRATCH, WHAT WE'D PROBABLY DO

IS MAKE UTILITIES PUBLICLY OWNED

AND RUN BY THE GOVERNMENT.

IT WOULDN'T FIX EVERYTHING --

THINGS MIGHT STILL GO WRONG --

BUT YOU'D REMOVE SO MANY OF THE

WORST INCENTIVES HERE.

UNFORTUNATELY, TRANSITIONING NOW

WOULD BE HUGELY EXPENSIVE

AND IN ALL LIKELIHOOD ISN'T

HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.

BUT THERE ARE SMALLER STEPS

WE SHOULD ALSO BE TAKING IN THE

MEANTIME.

FOR INSTANCE, INSTEAD OF HAVING

A SYSTEM WHERE UTILITIES ARE

INCENTIVIZED JUST TO BUILD

STUFF, WE COULD INCENTIVIZE THEM

TO WORK DIRECTLY IN THE

CUSTOMERS' BEST INTERESTS,

BY INVESTING IN THINGS LIKE

MAINTENANCE, RENEWABLES,

AND ENERGY CONSERVATION.

THIS IS SOMETHING KNOWN AS

PERFORMANCE-BASED REGULATION,

AND SEVERAL STATES

ARE ALREADY TRYING IT.

AS FOR THE REGULATORS, LOOK,

COMMISSIONS WILL, UNFORTUNATELY,

PROBABLY ALWAYS VARY IN

EFFECTIVENESS DEPENDING ON

WHETHER IT'S STAFFED BY PEOPLE

WHO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS, OR,

LET'S SAY, SOMEONE NAMED

TWINKLE.

BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT

UNDER RESOURCED REGULATORS GET

MORE SUPPORT,

MORE ACCESS TO TECHNICAL

EXPERTISE, AND MORE JURISDICTION

OVER THE COMPANIES THEY MONITOR.

AND AT THIS POINT, I'D USUALLY

BRING OUT A MASCOT WE MADE FOR

UTILITIES THAT'S REPRESENTATIVE

OF JUST HOW TERRIBLE AND

HORRIFYING THEY ARE.

BUT AMAZINGLY, I DON'T EVEN NEED

TO DO THAT, DO I?

BECAUSE THEY ALREADY

MADE A MURDEROUS HELL-DEMON

ALMOST A HUNDRED YEARS AGO,

WITH REDDY KILOWATT.

SO ALL WE NEED TO DO IS BRING

REDDY BACK.

SO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

I'M THRILLED TO PRESENT

TO YOU THE GLORIOUS RETURN

OF REDDY KILOWATT!

REDDY?

REDDY?

WHERE ARE YOU?

WHERE ARE YOU?

>> HELLO, JOHN!

HELLO, BOYS AND GIRLS!

>> YEAH.

THIS IS CREEPY.

I'M ALREADY REGRETTING THIS.

WHERE'S THE CLOWN?

WHERE'S MR. TOOT?

>> HE'S DEAD, JOHN.

I KILLED HIM.

>> OF COURSE YOU DID.

I'D LIKE TO LEAVE.

THIS IS A BAD IDEA.

>> WHO SAID YOU GET TO DO THAT?

>> FUCK!

>> THE WORLD IS MY MONOPOLY.

YOUR LOCAL UTILITY IS YOUR GOD.

I AM YOUR GOD.

SB WHEN I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M

SAYING THIS BUT YOU ARE TOO GOOD

AT REPRESENTING HOW SHITTY

UTILITY COMPANIES R.

>> YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

I COULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LIGHTS?!

>> BLACKOUTS HAPPEN, JOHN.

>> TURN THE LIGHTS BACK

ON, YOU FREAK!

>> YOU CAN DO IT YOURSELF, JOHN!

JUST GO AHEAD AND PULL THAT

LEVER!

>> WAIT, THIS ONE HERE?

>> UH-HUH.

>> OKAY.

>> UH-HUH.

HA HA.

I'M GONNA GET SUCH A FINE

FOR THAT.

THAT'S OUR SHOW.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK FOR ANOTHER

EPISODE OF "LAST WEEK TONIGHT"

WITH REDDY KILOWATT.

HA, HA.

BYE-BYE.