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1
00:00:11,222 --> 00:00:13,560
Whoever started
this whole generation thing
2
00:00:13,561 --> 00:00:15,559
with X was a total idiot.
3
00:00:15,561 --> 00:00:17,631
Yeah, I mean, like, we're already at Z.
Yeah.
4
00:00:17,633 --> 00:00:19,703
So what happens after us?
Do they go to AA?
5
00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:22,279
What the...
6
00:00:22,281 --> 00:00:23,817
Whoo.
7
00:00:23,981 --> 00:00:25,149
Hey, peeps!
8
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,353
What are my two crazy amigos up to?
9
00:00:27,354 --> 00:00:30,153
No one says peeps anymore, dude, okay?
10
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,796
Except on Easter.
11
00:00:31,996 --> 00:00:33,999
You like? It's new.
12
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,369
No.
13
00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:38,442
Oh, it's a little flashy
for my taste, so...
14
00:00:38,443 --> 00:00:41,181
I'm calling it Draco,
not after Harry Potter's foil.
15
00:00:41,182 --> 00:00:42,183
I knew you would go there,
16
00:00:42,184 --> 00:00:44,120
but after my favorite constellation,
17
00:00:44,121 --> 00:00:46,091
Draco the Dragon, is circumpolar...
18
00:00:46,092 --> 00:00:49,364
No one cares. How did you get it anyway?
19
00:00:49,365 --> 00:00:51,234
I saw a wallet lying on the street,
20
00:00:51,235 --> 00:00:52,603
like it was waiting for me.
21
00:00:52,604 --> 00:00:54,674
It's what I like to call
a serendipitous moment.
22
00:00:54,675 --> 00:00:57,380
And you stole money from the
wallet and you bought a moped?
23
00:00:57,381 --> 00:01:00,219
No, I found the concerned
gentleman who owned it,
24
00:01:00,220 --> 00:01:02,356
and as a reward he gave me $200
25
00:01:02,357 --> 00:01:04,294
and this moped that he had lying around.
26
00:01:04,295 --> 00:01:07,366
I even got featured in The Sweet Spot in
the Patriot. I'm like a Flatch celebrity.
27
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,707
I'm surprised you haven't heard.
28
00:01:08,709 --> 00:01:10,005
I'm sorry... okay.
Uh-huh.
29
00:01:10,006 --> 00:01:13,245
You're telling me that
you got a moped and 200 bucks
30
00:01:13,246 --> 00:01:15,349
because you returned a wallet?
Mm-hmm.
31
00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:16,953
We need to find a lost wallet.
32
00:01:16,954 --> 00:01:18,055
Right now.
Is that a wallet?
33
00:01:18,056 --> 00:01:19,793
Go that way.
34
00:01:22,899 --> 00:01:26,238
I like your place. It really screams you.
35
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,414
You read my paper?
36
00:01:31,415 --> 00:01:33,418
Yeah, I like to check out the competition
37
00:01:33,419 --> 00:01:35,356
in more ways than one.
38
00:01:35,357 --> 00:01:37,527
But that new column about good news,
39
00:01:37,528 --> 00:01:41,936
um, what's it called? The Sweet Place?
40
00:01:41,937 --> 00:01:43,672
The Sweet Spot.
Yes.
41
00:01:43,673 --> 00:01:46,645
It's human interest fluff.
Unless people are giving in
42
00:01:46,646 --> 00:01:49,584
to their basest animal
instincts, no one cares.
43
00:01:49,585 --> 00:01:52,390
People need positive news in their lives.
Oh, positive?
44
00:01:52,391 --> 00:01:55,428
You mean the kid who took advantage
45
00:01:55,430 --> 00:01:58,970
of an elderly by swindling money
and a moped out of him?
46
00:01:58,971 --> 00:02:01,007
How can you be so cynical?
47
00:02:01,008 --> 00:02:02,745
And how can you be so naive?
48
00:02:03,468 --> 00:02:04,837
Optimistic.
49
00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:06,987
Potato/potahto.
50
00:02:07,577 --> 00:02:08,812
Oh, it's potato.
51
00:02:12,331 --> 00:02:14,334
That was kind of weird,
52
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,873
but kind of hot too.
53
00:02:16,874 --> 00:02:18,141
We kissed,
54
00:02:18,142 --> 00:02:20,312
but he was so mean,
55
00:02:20,313 --> 00:02:22,283
but it was hot.
56
00:02:22,284 --> 00:02:24,622
Yeah, definitely hot.
57
00:02:29,933 --> 00:02:31,535
Hey, everyone.
58
00:02:31,536 --> 00:02:34,440
Tickets for the meat raffle
don't go on sale till tomorrow.
59
00:02:34,441 --> 00:02:36,946
We're here for the assistant position.
60
00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:38,248
Assistant?
61
00:02:38,249 --> 00:02:41,757
Christine Cradle at the Suit Shack
said that you need an assistant.
62
00:02:42,892 --> 00:02:43,927
Huh.
63
00:02:43,928 --> 00:02:46,064
I off-handedly mentioned to Christine,
64
00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:47,466
while buying a suit jacket,
65
00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,571
that I wish I had a bit more
help around the church.
66
00:02:49,572 --> 00:02:51,641
I guess in a small town,
there's no such thing
67
00:02:51,642 --> 00:02:54,247
as minister-salesperson confidentiality,
68
00:02:54,248 --> 00:02:57,420
but I am excited.
69
00:02:57,421 --> 00:02:59,725
I'm getting an employee.
70
00:02:59,726 --> 00:03:02,096
This opens up a whole new world for me.
71
00:03:02,097 --> 00:03:05,905
Holiday gift exchanges will be
a lot more surprising, for one.
72
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:09,511
I'm the boss.
73
00:03:12,068 --> 00:03:15,506
_
74
00:03:16,492 --> 00:03:20,132
So we didn't find
any lost wallets yesterday.
75
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,336
So on to Plan B.
76
00:03:22,337 --> 00:03:24,207
Ah, dude, do we have to deliver
77
00:03:24,208 --> 00:03:25,777
these all the way to Len's house?
78
00:03:25,778 --> 00:03:27,346
I mean, can't we just, like,
leave them here
79
00:03:27,347 --> 00:03:28,750
and just, like, tell him
where to find them?
80
00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:31,288
Shut up, delivering them
was the deal, okay?
81
00:03:31,289 --> 00:03:32,456
And Len was the only one
82
00:03:32,457 --> 00:03:34,127
to take us up on our good-deeds offer.
83
00:03:34,128 --> 00:03:35,496
I'm just tired.
84
00:03:35,497 --> 00:03:38,435
Flatch has, like, all these
charities to help people.
85
00:03:38,436 --> 00:03:39,705
There's soup for the old,
86
00:03:39,706 --> 00:03:41,675
which is kind of, like, ageist, you know?
87
00:03:41,676 --> 00:03:44,047
Then there's take a neck brace,
leave a neck brace.
88
00:03:44,048 --> 00:03:45,717
There's one that, like, fills in holes,
89
00:03:45,718 --> 00:03:48,188
because people don't know
how to look where they walk.
90
00:03:48,189 --> 00:03:49,524
Anyways, they're all pretty lame.
91
00:03:49,525 --> 00:03:51,261
And this way we keep the proceeds,
92
00:03:51,262 --> 00:03:52,396
like, we're the charity.
93
00:03:52,397 --> 00:03:55,369
Yeah. Oh, dude, it's Beth.
94
00:03:55,370 --> 00:03:57,340
Come on, hurry. Maybe she won't see us.
95
00:03:57,341 --> 00:04:00,245
Sup, Beth? You look fire.
96
00:04:00,246 --> 00:04:03,518
Yeah, Beth and I have been
hanging out for, like, two weeks.
97
00:04:03,519 --> 00:04:06,424
Um, mainly just walking,
98
00:04:06,425 --> 00:04:08,395
um, get my steps in.
99
00:04:08,396 --> 00:04:10,332
We don't talk a lot,
100
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,739
but mystery is in the silences.
101
00:04:16,178 --> 00:04:17,413
Ew.
102
00:04:17,414 --> 00:04:19,752
What is that?
103
00:04:19,753 --> 00:04:21,154
Come on!
104
00:04:21,155 --> 00:04:22,925
Um, I...
105
00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:28,101
Oh, my God, dude, did you just see that?
106
00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:31,709
Dude, Beth just side hugged me.
What does that mean, dude?
107
00:04:31,710 --> 00:04:35,316
Like, do you think we're,
like, officially a thing?
108
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,386
Who cares, okay?
I need you to focus, like...
109
00:04:37,387 --> 00:04:38,689
Oh, my God.
110
00:04:38,690 --> 00:04:41,028
Hey, guys. What are you up to?
111
00:04:41,272 --> 00:04:43,432
We are delivering Len's groceries.
112
00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:45,704
He gave us a list. We shop and deliver.
113
00:04:45,705 --> 00:04:48,408
Just one of our good deeds for the day.
114
00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:50,947
Well, that is very nice of you.
115
00:04:50,948 --> 00:04:52,884
Thanks, we're all about
doing the right thing.
116
00:04:52,885 --> 00:04:58,028
I was inspired by Kelly and Shrub today,
which is a change,
117
00:04:58,029 --> 00:05:00,632
because they mostly inspire worry.
118
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:01,836
And so I hired Blind Billy.
119
00:05:01,837 --> 00:05:04,640
He seems like a smart, capable guy,
120
00:05:04,641 --> 00:05:06,511
and it's a privilege
to offer opportunities
121
00:05:06,512 --> 00:05:08,415
to those who often get overlooked.
122
00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:11,789
You have no idea how many
people can't look past my blindness.
123
00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:14,695
I'm so far past it,
I can't even see it at all.
124
00:05:16,499 --> 00:05:17,902
Was that offensive?
125
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,339
That was actionable.
126
00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:22,744
Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry.
127
00:05:22,745 --> 00:05:26,351
I'm just roasting you, padre..
128
00:05:26,352 --> 00:05:28,655
Oh, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha...
129
00:05:28,656 --> 00:05:31,494
I hired Blind Billy to work
out at my farm,
130
00:05:31,495 --> 00:05:34,367
because he said he was a hard worker
131
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:36,571
and good with his hands.
132
00:05:36,572 --> 00:05:38,608
He was good with his hands all right.
133
00:05:38,609 --> 00:05:40,747
He's got one of my daughters pregnant
134
00:05:40,748 --> 00:05:43,518
and the other one
keeps writing him letters.
135
00:05:43,519 --> 00:05:45,389
I hired Blind Billy as a tour guide.
136
00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:46,926
He claimed he knew the history of Flatch
137
00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:49,230
like the back of his hand,
but then I caught him
138
00:05:49,231 --> 00:05:52,738
reciting the theme song to Gilligan's
Island like it really happened here.
139
00:05:52,739 --> 00:05:55,509
It didn't. It's a TV show.
140
00:05:58,616 --> 00:06:00,887
Hey!
Hi, Len, as promised!
141
00:06:00,888 --> 00:06:02,724
Also, we went paper on the bags,
142
00:06:02,725 --> 00:06:05,162
so recyclable. Double good deed.
143
00:06:05,163 --> 00:06:07,199
But where the hell is the rest of my food?
144
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,301
Should be in there.
145
00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:10,139
Mm-hmm.
146
00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:11,574
You ate them.
147
00:06:11,575 --> 00:06:13,846
I can smell my vinegar chips
on your breath.
148
00:06:13,847 --> 00:06:15,682
I have the metabolism
of a hummingbird, okay?
149
00:06:15,683 --> 00:06:18,856
So I have to keep refueling.
Okay, reward time.
150
00:06:18,857 --> 00:06:21,528
Now Mickey was recently gifted
a moped, you know,
151
00:06:21,529 --> 00:06:23,266
in terms of compensation...
152
00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:27,174
You're welcome!
153
00:06:29,946 --> 00:06:34,654
Day two, and things are going
really well with Blind Billy.
154
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:37,259
Sure, I've had to make
a few accommodations,
155
00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:38,997
but more than happy to.
156
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:42,403
Blind Billy is now free to roam
157
00:06:42,404 --> 00:06:45,676
without fear or sharp corners,
158
00:06:45,677 --> 00:06:48,648
like Jesus in the Judaean Desert,
159
00:06:48,649 --> 00:06:50,753
except there's no temptation here,
160
00:06:50,754 --> 00:06:53,125
unless you count my secret candy drawer.
161
00:07:19,712 --> 00:07:23,085
No big deal.
162
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,869
You can't just sneak up on me like that.
163
00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:34,140
I'm blind! My other senses are heightened.
164
00:07:34,141 --> 00:07:37,012
You could have killed me
with a touch like that.
165
00:07:37,013 --> 00:07:38,749
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't be
166
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,652
listening to headphones
while the phone is ringing.
167
00:07:40,653 --> 00:07:44,026
And how do you expect me to read a book?
168
00:07:44,027 --> 00:07:47,567
I don't know if you've noticed,
but I'm blind.
169
00:07:47,869 --> 00:07:49,973
So if you'll excuse me...
170
00:07:50,975 --> 00:07:53,378
Maybe you shouldn't be
reading while you're...
171
00:07:53,379 --> 00:07:55,048
Okay.
172
00:07:55,049 --> 00:07:57,419
It's important to me
that people don't look at me
173
00:07:57,420 --> 00:07:59,023
and just see my disability.
174
00:07:59,024 --> 00:08:01,361
I don't want the first thing
they say to be,
175
00:08:01,362 --> 00:08:03,299
"There goes that blind guy."
176
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,636
I want them to think,
177
00:08:05,637 --> 00:08:09,210
"There goes that [BLEEP]
who happens to be blind."
178
00:08:11,284 --> 00:08:14,613
_
179
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:20,496
_
180
00:08:25,543 --> 00:08:28,481
Hey.
Oh, hey, what's up?
181
00:08:28,482 --> 00:08:29,751
I need your help choosing the book
182
00:08:29,752 --> 00:08:31,421
for the next book club.
183
00:08:31,422 --> 00:08:32,656
It's Father Joe's turn,
184
00:08:32,657 --> 00:08:34,828
and I just can't with him.
185
00:08:34,829 --> 00:08:37,533
How many Agatha Christies
am I expected to read?
186
00:08:37,534 --> 00:08:39,203
Oh, I know. He loves those,
187
00:08:39,204 --> 00:08:42,343
but I'm actually gonna miss
tomorrow's book club meeting
188
00:08:42,344 --> 00:08:44,915
because I have a date with Jimmy again.
189
00:08:44,916 --> 00:08:47,686
Ladies, am I invisible?
I'm on the phone, like...
190
00:08:47,687 --> 00:08:50,259
Okay, sorry, what were you saying?
191
00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:53,164
So you like him?
192
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:54,533
No.
193
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,305
Yes. I don't know, maybe.
194
00:08:57,340 --> 00:08:59,143
Oh, it's so weird.
195
00:08:59,144 --> 00:09:01,614
We have this bantery thing,
which is kind of sexy,
196
00:09:01,615 --> 00:09:05,289
but then it stops being bantery
and starts getting fighty.
197
00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:08,528
Oh, yeah. You two wrestle?
198
00:09:08,529 --> 00:09:10,767
No.
199
00:09:10,768 --> 00:09:13,571
Well, we do wrestle with our minds,
200
00:09:13,572 --> 00:09:15,977
which is kind of invigorating, mainly.
201
00:09:15,978 --> 00:09:18,448
I mean, Joe and I, I was always the alpha,
202
00:09:18,449 --> 00:09:19,583
but with Jimmy it's kind of like
203
00:09:19,584 --> 00:09:20,820
we're two rival debate captains
204
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,857
stuffed in a sack clawing it out.
205
00:09:22,858 --> 00:09:25,063
That doesn't sound sexy.
206
00:09:28,837 --> 00:09:31,007
Hey there, Shrub.
Why are you working outside?
207
00:09:31,008 --> 00:09:33,678
Oh, I'm just giving Blind Billy his space.
208
00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:35,717
Yeah, he meditates every day for an hour,
209
00:09:35,718 --> 00:09:37,019
and he says he can smell my presence.
210
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:39,391
Can I ask you a question real quick?
211
00:09:40,326 --> 00:09:42,864
How do you know when a girl
212
00:09:42,865 --> 00:09:45,808
becomes your girlfriend?
Oh, well, that's...
213
00:09:45,810 --> 00:09:47,874
Because, like, I've been
hanging out with Beth for,
214
00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:49,745
like, a couple weeks and, like, you know,
215
00:09:49,746 --> 00:09:52,717
we've, like, done stuff.
216
00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:55,622
You know, actually, I have a list...
217
00:09:55,623 --> 00:09:57,426
No, no, please don't read that out loud.
218
00:09:57,427 --> 00:10:01,301
She hugged me,
but our fronts did not touch.
219
00:10:01,302 --> 00:10:02,871
She bought me a soda,
220
00:10:02,872 --> 00:10:04,841
and she did drink most of it.
221
00:10:04,842 --> 00:10:07,981
Uh, I got cold;
she let me borrow her sweater.
222
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:11,587
I run very cold, but it's good
because she runs very hot,
223
00:10:11,588 --> 00:10:13,024
if you know what I mean.
224
00:10:13,025 --> 00:10:15,863
But here's the deal, between you and me,
225
00:10:15,864 --> 00:10:18,568
and you can't tell anyone...
Okay.
226
00:10:18,569 --> 00:10:20,539
We haven't, like,
227
00:10:20,540 --> 00:10:22,877
kissed or anything yet.
228
00:10:22,878 --> 00:10:24,680
Well, that... that comes in time.
229
00:10:24,681 --> 00:10:26,184
Yes, but that's, like, a sign
230
00:10:26,185 --> 00:10:28,655
that you're in a relationship, right?
231
00:10:28,656 --> 00:10:31,527
I don't know. How did you know
that you and Cheryl were together?
232
00:10:31,528 --> 00:10:34,066
She told me.
233
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,872
Yeah, that's pretty much how
our entire relationship went.
234
00:10:36,873 --> 00:10:41,815
She, uh, she liked to be in control a lot.
235
00:10:41,816 --> 00:10:44,821
Well, Beth hasn't said anything to me yet
236
00:10:44,822 --> 00:10:46,657
because she barely talks.
237
00:10:46,658 --> 00:10:48,094
It's actually kind of concerning.
238
00:10:48,095 --> 00:10:49,731
You got to ask her
if she's your girlfriend.
239
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,969
And when you do, you just... you
be honest with your feelings.
240
00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:55,375
Hey! Pipe down out there!
241
00:10:55,376 --> 00:10:56,545
Sorry.
242
00:10:58,082 --> 00:11:00,218
So word got out about my good deeds.
243
00:11:00,219 --> 00:11:02,689
Small town news flies faster
than a fart in the wind.
244
00:11:02,690 --> 00:11:04,093
So it was only a matter of time,
245
00:11:04,094 --> 00:11:06,965
but I got a bunch of dumb stuff
for, you know,
246
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:09,503
all the good deeds I've been doing.
247
00:11:09,504 --> 00:11:10,907
Goalie.
248
00:11:10,908 --> 00:11:13,813
Wonder what this opens?
Mickey got a moped, right?
249
00:11:13,814 --> 00:11:16,084
But today, I'm going
after the white whale.
250
00:11:16,085 --> 00:11:18,254
June has a car
that she doesn't even drive.
251
00:11:18,255 --> 00:11:20,460
It's just, like,
sitting there gathering dust.
252
00:11:21,796 --> 00:11:23,599
This is it, the white whale.
253
00:11:29,411 --> 00:11:30,747
Hi, Junebug!
254
00:11:30,748 --> 00:11:33,051
Got your mail from your mailbox
so you didn't have to walk
255
00:11:33,052 --> 00:11:34,955
all the way down there, long driveway.
256
00:11:34,956 --> 00:11:37,827
Aren't you just the sweetest thing?
257
00:11:37,828 --> 00:11:39,196
This girl?
258
00:11:39,197 --> 00:11:40,967
You must have heard
that my back has been acting up
259
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:43,204
ever since I tried putting in my own deck.
260
00:11:43,205 --> 00:11:44,975
You watch one home makeover show
261
00:11:44,976 --> 00:11:47,781
and you think you're Bob Vila.
Turns out, I'm not.
262
00:11:47,782 --> 00:11:49,250
I don't know who that is,
263
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:52,924
but if you need anything else
done, I'm happy to help.
264
00:11:52,925 --> 00:11:55,530
Why, yes. Thank you.
265
00:12:02,912 --> 00:12:04,680
Okay, while we wait for Father Joe,
266
00:12:04,681 --> 00:12:07,019
I say we discuss next month's book.
267
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,156
I would love to read the...
268
00:12:09,157 --> 00:12:10,760
The Duchess and the Stable Boy.
269
00:12:10,761 --> 00:12:12,563
No. We just read that.
270
00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:13,866
And it was dumb.
271
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,903
I mean, the Duchess was always falling.
272
00:12:15,904 --> 00:12:17,841
Did she have a medical condition?
273
00:12:17,842 --> 00:12:19,410
It's called love, Leotha.
274
00:12:19,411 --> 00:12:22,082
She had to fall so
the stable boy could catch her.
275
00:12:22,083 --> 00:12:24,086
This is why we need to read the book again
276
00:12:24,087 --> 00:12:26,657
because people aren't getting
the nuances, clearly.
277
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:27,861
Len, help me out.
278
00:12:27,862 --> 00:12:29,396
I'm just here for the free food.
279
00:12:29,397 --> 00:12:31,234
Kelly and Shrub,
they ate all my good stuff.
280
00:12:31,235 --> 00:12:34,006
Okay, well, I've actually
already brought copies
281
00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:35,910
of our next book. Gonna hand them out.
282
00:12:35,911 --> 00:12:38,014
Oh, a little heavy, be careful, right?
283
00:12:38,015 --> 00:12:40,452
Here you go. That's for you.
284
00:12:40,453 --> 00:12:43,224
This one's for you.
Baby's First Six Months?
285
00:12:43,225 --> 00:12:46,397
Yes, all the mommy blogs
give it two diapers up.
286
00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:50,005
I already raised my children.
I don't need no damn book.
287
00:12:50,006 --> 00:12:53,311
Okay, well, I'm really sorry,
but I'm a very busy woman.
288
00:12:53,312 --> 00:12:54,948
So if you all want me
to stay in this book club,
289
00:12:54,949 --> 00:12:56,852
which I think you do,
then we're gonna have to read
290
00:12:56,853 --> 00:12:58,054
something that's a little more relevant
291
00:12:58,055 --> 00:12:59,758
to my current situation.
292
00:12:59,759 --> 00:13:01,862
Also, Chantal keeps chewing on her toes
293
00:13:01,863 --> 00:13:03,933
and it's really freaking me out.
294
00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:05,435
Anyways, all in favor
295
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,774
of The Duchess and the Stable Boy, say...
296
00:13:07,775 --> 00:13:09,644
Nay!
297
00:13:10,546 --> 00:13:11,614
God, Blind Billy,
298
00:13:11,615 --> 00:13:15,121
this is a closed meeting
of literary minds.
299
00:13:15,122 --> 00:13:16,490
Then what are you doing here?
300
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:19,163
It's no secret
that I hate Blind Billy.
301
00:13:19,164 --> 00:13:21,267
He called animal control on my dog
302
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,841
for peeing on his grass,
and he should have thanked me
303
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,745
because it's the only water
304
00:13:26,746 --> 00:13:29,016
his grass has ever seen!
305
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,788
I'm not dealing with you,
not today, not any day.
306
00:13:31,789 --> 00:13:35,228
You don't have a choice.
I'm Father Joe's assistant,
307
00:13:35,229 --> 00:13:38,535
and starting today,
the book club is cancelled.
308
00:13:38,536 --> 00:13:39,670
You can't do that.
309
00:13:39,671 --> 00:13:41,909
Just did. It's discriminatory.
310
00:13:41,910 --> 00:13:43,979
You don't have a wheelchair ramp.
311
00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:45,816
The snacks have nuts.
312
00:13:45,817 --> 00:13:47,787
And that's a nut-allergy time bomb.
313
00:13:47,788 --> 00:13:50,793
And y'all pick lousy books.
314
00:13:50,794 --> 00:13:52,262
Sorry I'm late.
315
00:13:52,263 --> 00:13:55,268
Uh... how are my favorite book worms?
316
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,874
Blind Billy here just canceled book club.
317
00:13:57,875 --> 00:13:59,109
Can he do that?
318
00:13:59,110 --> 00:14:01,347
According to Chapter 4, Section 22
319
00:14:01,348 --> 00:14:04,553
of the Church Bylaws,
any activity that discriminates
320
00:14:04,554 --> 00:14:05,923
or minimizes another
321
00:14:05,924 --> 00:14:08,194
shall be stricken from church property.
322
00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:10,866
The church has bylaws?
How could you hire him?
323
00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:13,605
Did you not check his references?
Clearly, you never called me.
324
00:14:13,606 --> 00:14:16,177
Okay, listen, just everyone
calm down, okay?
325
00:14:16,178 --> 00:14:18,014
Why the hell are you wearing a cat bell?
326
00:14:21,723 --> 00:14:23,658
It helps Billy locate me.
327
00:14:23,659 --> 00:14:25,128
His idea.
328
00:14:25,129 --> 00:14:26,898
And you know what,
if I have to wear this cat bell
329
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:29,069
in order to help, then so be it.
330
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:31,809
Is it annoying? Yes.
331
00:14:32,543 --> 00:14:35,349
Have I been mistaken
for an ice cream truck?
332
00:14:35,884 --> 00:14:37,419
Yes.
333
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:42,496
Have I had two horny cats and one
confused dog chase me around Flatch?
334
00:14:42,497 --> 00:14:43,966
Yes.
335
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,605
But it's all for the greater good.
336
00:14:49,444 --> 00:14:51,915
I can't believe I got him
to wear the bell.
337
00:14:55,991 --> 00:14:58,594
Hey, how is your car running, huh?
338
00:14:58,595 --> 00:15:01,534
I could take that off your
hands if you ever need it.
339
00:15:01,535 --> 00:15:03,538
Uh, I did not expect to be here this long.
340
00:15:03,539 --> 00:15:07,346
I also didn't expect to find a
raccoon skeleton under June's couch.
341
00:15:07,347 --> 00:15:09,583
But it's gonna be worth it, so...
342
00:15:09,584 --> 00:15:12,724
Kelly, I need your help in here.
343
00:15:12,725 --> 00:15:14,260
Okay.
344
00:15:16,966 --> 00:15:18,167
Don't forget the back.
345
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,205
Heidi from Hair Matters eloped yesterday,
346
00:15:20,206 --> 00:15:22,209
threw off my wash schedule.
347
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:24,346
If I don't get
a professional wash every week,
348
00:15:24,347 --> 00:15:27,219
my hair starts to look like
a curtain after a hurricane.
349
00:15:27,220 --> 00:15:29,390
Did you say car?
No, I don't think so.
350
00:15:29,391 --> 00:15:32,429
Ah, sounded like you did, you know?
351
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:34,968
But when was the last time
you drove your car?
352
00:15:34,969 --> 00:15:36,337
Oh, years.
353
00:15:36,338 --> 00:15:38,776
I lost my virginity in that car.
354
00:15:38,777 --> 00:15:40,612
It was the summer of '71.
355
00:15:40,613 --> 00:15:44,821
Tom Jones' "She's a Lady"
was playing on the radio,
356
00:15:44,822 --> 00:15:47,427
and I was everything but...
357
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,235
Okay. I have been thinking all day
358
00:15:52,236 --> 00:15:54,039
about what I'm gonna say to Beth.
359
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,375
To break the ice,
360
00:15:55,376 --> 00:15:58,114
I'm gonna teach her
a few French curse words
361
00:15:58,115 --> 00:16:00,552
because that's the language of love.
362
00:16:00,553 --> 00:16:02,724
Then I'm gonna ask her
if she's my girlfriend.
363
00:16:02,725 --> 00:16:04,660
And then I'm gonna
364
00:16:04,661 --> 00:16:06,465
put my lips on hers.
365
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,871
It's pretty romantic.
366
00:16:13,345 --> 00:16:16,283
Hey, bro.
Not now, Mickey.
367
00:16:16,284 --> 00:16:18,187
Can't you see I'm... I'm trying to think.
368
00:16:18,188 --> 00:16:21,260
Sorry, bro. I was just out
picking a carrot bouquet for Lady Beth.
369
00:16:21,261 --> 00:16:22,997
She's allergic to flowers.
370
00:16:22,998 --> 00:16:25,101
Isn't that cute?
371
00:16:25,102 --> 00:16:27,005
Wait, why are you giving her
a carrot bouquet?
372
00:16:27,006 --> 00:16:28,241
Well, I've got a surprise for her.
373
00:16:28,242 --> 00:16:30,111
I'm gonna give her half of my reward money
374
00:16:30,112 --> 00:16:32,182
so she can pay back
her cosmetology school loan.
375
00:16:32,183 --> 00:16:34,286
Then I'm gonna ask her out.
376
00:16:34,287 --> 00:16:37,392
No, dude, you can't ask her out!
377
00:16:37,393 --> 00:16:40,598
Why not, bro?
Because we're dating.
378
00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:41,968
Huh. Weird.
379
00:16:41,969 --> 00:16:44,406
She never told me that,
and she tells me everything.
380
00:16:44,407 --> 00:16:47,646
Oh!
Well, see you later, bro.
381
00:16:50,019 --> 00:16:51,420
It's on.
382
00:16:51,421 --> 00:16:53,057
Oh, Mickey might have a moped,
but guess what?
383
00:16:53,058 --> 00:16:56,307
I know every single back way
to literally get anywhere in Flatch.
384
00:16:56,309 --> 00:17:00,004
I mean, it might surprise you,
I used to get chased a lot as a kid,
385
00:17:00,005 --> 00:17:02,845
but look at me now.
386
00:17:05,249 --> 00:17:07,453
Works.
Works, okay...
387
00:17:08,589 --> 00:17:12,329
You know, this is a really
pretty color blue, you know?
388
00:17:12,330 --> 00:17:14,333
Kind of reminds me of
the color of your car,
389
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,170
you know the one you never use?
390
00:17:16,171 --> 00:17:18,777
I really need to concentrate
on the pens right now.
391
00:17:20,179 --> 00:17:21,313
Oh, it doesn't work.
392
00:17:21,314 --> 00:17:24,019
Well, that was the last one.
393
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:25,790
You have been such a great help today.
394
00:17:25,791 --> 00:17:26,892
Yeah.
395
00:17:26,893 --> 00:17:30,834
And for all your hard work,
I have something for you.
396
00:17:35,376 --> 00:17:37,413
Take as many as you'd like.
397
00:17:40,386 --> 00:17:42,457
And there's something else too...
398
00:17:44,093 --> 00:17:47,232
[BLEEP] the white whale.
399
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:50,405
Okay, June just signed her car over to me!
400
00:17:50,406 --> 00:17:52,109
Who needs two wheels
when you can have four!
401
00:17:52,110 --> 00:17:53,947
Whoo!
402
00:17:55,216 --> 00:17:58,756
Okay.
403
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,489
Move, move, move! Oh, my God.
404
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,405
Aw, [BLEEP].
405
00:18:25,609 --> 00:18:28,047
Hi, Shrub!
406
00:18:28,048 --> 00:18:29,516
God! God!
407
00:18:29,517 --> 00:18:32,389
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey.
408
00:18:32,390 --> 00:18:34,393
Sorry, sons, but you have to go around,
409
00:18:34,394 --> 00:18:37,232
truck tipped over, manure everywhere.
410
00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:39,136
It's a literal [BLEEP] storm.
411
00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:41,006
You're funny.
412
00:18:41,007 --> 00:18:42,142
He's funny.
413
00:18:42,143 --> 00:18:44,279
Thanks.
Hey, Shrub... dang it!
414
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,615
Hey, nice wheels, Mick.
415
00:18:45,616 --> 00:18:47,821
Thank you, Sheriff. Thank you, it's new.
416
00:18:52,029 --> 00:18:54,366
Whoa!
God, Bailey, move!
417
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:58,008
Yes.
418
00:19:02,116 --> 00:19:04,889
Girlfriend... Are you my girlfriend?
419
00:19:06,993 --> 00:19:08,796
Okay.
420
00:19:10,266 --> 00:19:13,605
Um, can I... can I have
a glass of water, please?
421
00:19:14,007 --> 00:19:15,075
Yeah.
422
00:19:17,580 --> 00:19:19,516
I ran out of gas
on the way to Beth's house,
423
00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:22,088
and Mr. Reid picked me up.
He filled my tank.
424
00:19:22,089 --> 00:19:23,424
And I helped him build his fence.
425
00:19:23,425 --> 00:19:25,328
And in return, he gave me this puppy.
426
00:19:25,329 --> 00:19:27,333
Hello.
427
00:19:27,868 --> 00:19:30,071
Guess who's gonna be in
The Sweet Spot again?
428
00:19:30,072 --> 00:19:34,013
We are.
429
00:19:46,371 --> 00:19:49,812
Huh, he never answers the phone.
430
00:19:50,212 --> 00:19:52,215
Your podiatrist is on line one.
431
00:19:52,216 --> 00:19:54,219
Oh, and I also picked the book
432
00:19:54,220 --> 00:19:56,290
for the next book club.
433
00:19:56,291 --> 00:19:58,060
Are you gonna pick it up?
434
00:19:58,061 --> 00:20:00,866
Yes, but where's Blind Billy?
I fired him.
435
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:04,306
You were never gonna do it,
and you're welcome.
436
00:20:04,307 --> 00:20:05,876
Do you have the right to do that?
437
00:20:05,877 --> 00:20:08,547
Yeah, according to Chapter
17, Section 4 of the bylaws,
438
00:20:08,548 --> 00:20:10,618
anyone annoying can't work here.
439
00:20:10,619 --> 00:20:13,157
Is that an actual bylaw?
It is now.
440
00:20:13,158 --> 00:20:15,428
We'll discuss my salary
when you get off the phone
441
00:20:15,429 --> 00:20:18,602
with your foot guy
and take off that stupid bell.
442
00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:25,884
Candy.
443
00:20:32,191 --> 00:20:35,708
_
444
00:20:36,037 --> 00:20:39,644
So I sold June's car for
scraps, and I made 100 bucks.
445
00:20:42,316 --> 00:20:44,888
Sorry. Excuse me.
446
00:20:46,257 --> 00:20:47,827
Also, I learned something about myself.
447
00:20:47,828 --> 00:20:49,764
I learned that I don't like
to do good deeds,
448
00:20:49,765 --> 00:20:51,835
especially when I get nothing for it.
449
00:20:51,836 --> 00:20:54,373
It feels really good to know
that about myself.
450
00:20:54,374 --> 00:20:56,110
I learned that life is too short,
451
00:20:56,111 --> 00:20:58,214
and you have to just go
after what you want.
452
00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:01,286
Like, Beth and I still
haven't kissed or anything,
453
00:21:01,287 --> 00:21:04,828
but I definitely have a girlfriend.
454
00:21:08,502 --> 00:21:10,405
Well, it looks like I should put myself
455
00:21:10,406 --> 00:21:12,409
in The Sweet Spot this week.
456
00:21:12,410 --> 00:21:14,413
I hired Blind Billy
457
00:21:14,414 --> 00:21:15,983
because there is nothing more rewarding
458
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:19,090
than giving opportunities
to your marginalized neighbors.
459
00:21:22,129 --> 00:21:23,966
Excuse me. One sec.
460
00:21:31,348 --> 00:21:33,451
Let's go! We don't have all day!
461
00:21:33,452 --> 00:21:35,990
Coming!
34101
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