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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:53,208 --> 00:00:57,792 DECEPTION 2 00:01:03,542 --> 00:01:07,500 London 1987. 3 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,450 I won't say my name, 4 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,866 but I'm 33. 5 00:01:18,491 --> 00:01:22,116 My marriage gets more disastrous year-by-year. 6 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:25,283 Yet we have an adorable 4-year-old girl. 7 00:01:26,908 --> 00:01:29,200 I met Philip a year and a half ago. 8 00:01:30,116 --> 00:01:33,658 Philip is an American novelist who lives in London. 9 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,700 I never understood that willful exile. 10 00:01:36,866 --> 00:01:40,783 Even though I pretend my lover's fame doesn't impress me, 11 00:01:40,950 --> 00:01:42,158 I read all his books. 12 00:01:42,325 --> 00:01:45,616 And deep down, I'm proud that an esteemed artist 13 00:01:45,783 --> 00:01:48,491 found me interesting enough for secret trysts 14 00:01:48,658 --> 00:01:49,866 in the afternoon. 15 00:01:52,450 --> 00:01:53,741 Please. 16 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,241 Close your eyes. 17 00:01:58,908 --> 00:02:00,700 I'm not going to be tied up! 18 00:02:00,866 --> 00:02:03,575 My dear friend, who here ever suggested 19 00:02:03,741 --> 00:02:05,991 tying you up so early in the game? 20 00:02:06,533 --> 00:02:08,408 I read about it in books. 21 00:02:08,866 --> 00:02:09,908 So? 22 00:02:10,866 --> 00:02:12,575 Writers write those books. 23 00:02:15,366 --> 00:02:16,825 Close your eyes. 24 00:02:17,825 --> 00:02:18,866 All right. 25 00:02:22,408 --> 00:02:24,783 Let's see if you've been paying attention. 26 00:02:26,908 --> 00:02:29,616 Now describe this room. 27 00:02:31,616 --> 00:02:35,033 To begin with, it has two nice French windows. 28 00:02:35,408 --> 00:02:37,033 Looking out onto a lawn. 29 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,116 In the room's spare style, 30 00:02:40,991 --> 00:02:42,950 the windows have no curtains, 31 00:02:43,116 --> 00:02:47,325 so that nearby houses can see everything inside. 32 00:02:47,866 --> 00:02:50,866 Mostly what they see is someone typing. 33 00:02:51,325 --> 00:02:53,325 Or they see me reading. 34 00:02:53,783 --> 00:02:57,200 They deserve to see something far more interesting. 35 00:02:59,575 --> 00:03:01,408 There's a comfortable chair. 36 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:05,033 In it, sits a woman who should be at work. 37 00:03:05,283 --> 00:03:08,200 Listening to her lament her marriage, 38 00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:09,533 is a man, 39 00:03:10,116 --> 00:03:12,658 sitting in a leather desk chair. 40 00:03:13,825 --> 00:03:17,241 His desk, about three by five, 41 00:03:17,658 --> 00:03:20,783 is a wood plank on a metallic pedestal. 42 00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:22,825 Piles of papers all over: 43 00:03:22,991 --> 00:03:25,866 an unfinished manuscript, stacks of letters, 44 00:03:26,283 --> 00:03:29,783 and clippings about Israel from the papers 45 00:03:30,116 --> 00:03:32,575 to prove to his wife that the British 46 00:03:32,741 --> 00:03:34,241 are all anti-Semitic. 47 00:03:36,408 --> 00:03:40,700 At a right angle to the desk is the typewriter. 48 00:03:40,866 --> 00:03:44,241 It has its own special desk. Pica 72. 49 00:03:44,242 --> 00:03:45,242 Excellent. 50 00:03:45,408 --> 00:03:47,491 Behind, bookshelves. 51 00:03:47,908 --> 00:03:49,700 "Heine's Jewish Comedy", 52 00:03:49,866 --> 00:03:51,866 "Jew as Pariah" by Hannah Arendt, 53 00:03:52,158 --> 00:03:53,700 "White Nights", Menachem Begin, 54 00:03:55,241 --> 00:03:57,200 Only books about Jews, 55 00:03:57,366 --> 00:03:58,408 by Jews, 56 00:03:58,575 --> 00:03:59,825 for Jews. 57 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,825 Suspended above, a paper globe, 58 00:04:04,991 --> 00:04:06,950 all dusty, Japanese. 59 00:04:07,366 --> 00:04:08,575 A radio, 60 00:04:09,158 --> 00:04:10,866 two chrome lamps. 61 00:04:12,658 --> 00:04:16,158 A plastic mat for back exercises and adultery. 62 00:04:16,616 --> 00:04:19,325 In the bin, take-out containers. 63 00:04:21,408 --> 00:04:23,408 One sybaritic detail: 64 00:04:23,575 --> 00:04:27,283 plaster floral ornamentation on ceiling molding. 65 00:04:27,741 --> 00:04:28,991 Wonderful. 66 00:04:30,075 --> 00:04:31,158 That all? 67 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:32,700 Yes. 68 00:04:36,116 --> 00:04:37,241 Now close yours. 69 00:04:38,450 --> 00:04:39,450 Okay. 70 00:04:40,491 --> 00:04:44,116 Let's see how much attention you've been paying. 71 00:04:44,491 --> 00:04:45,616 Go ahead. 72 00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:47,491 Now... 73 00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:49,700 describe me. 74 00:04:52,116 --> 00:04:55,450 Autumn. 75 00:05:09,283 --> 00:05:12,158 My husband's girlfriend gave him a present. 76 00:05:12,741 --> 00:05:13,950 She's very pretentious. 77 00:05:14,116 --> 00:05:17,283 A very jealous and ambitious kind of person. 78 00:05:17,783 --> 00:05:19,116 She gave him a record. 79 00:05:19,741 --> 00:05:23,450 A piece by Schubert, very well known, very beautiful. 80 00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:25,200 Inspired by 81 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:29,450 the great passion of his life, a dazzlingly interesting woman. 82 00:05:29,741 --> 00:05:32,075 All spelled out in the liner notes. 83 00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:36,033 He could simply have said he bought it himself. 84 00:05:36,241 --> 00:05:39,991 But no, he said his girlfriend had given it to him. 85 00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:46,116 I was drunk one evening, I got a pink underlining thing. 86 00:05:47,366 --> 00:05:51,075 I highlighted several particularly hilarious phrases. 87 00:05:52,283 --> 00:05:54,116 "The greatest passion ever". 88 00:05:54,491 --> 00:05:55,783 "Marriage of minds". 89 00:05:56,033 --> 00:05:57,158 "Ecstasy". 90 00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,241 Then calmly and with dignity, 91 00:06:00,408 --> 00:06:03,075 I handed him the record cover. 92 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,491 Was that awful of me? 93 00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,075 Why were you drunk? 94 00:06:12,866 --> 00:06:14,866 I wasn't drunk, but I drank a lot. 95 00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:17,991 You drink a lot at night? 96 00:06:18,408 --> 00:06:19,700 - Yeah. - How much? 97 00:06:20,158 --> 00:06:21,616 A large amount. 98 00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:24,575 Nights when I'm alone, I drink nothing. 99 00:06:25,241 --> 00:06:28,575 Otherwise, easily several doubles before dinner. 100 00:06:28,950 --> 00:06:30,658 And wine in between. 101 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,991 But I never really get drunk. 102 00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,033 Just a little elevated. 103 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:37,950 You lead such a bizarre life. 104 00:06:38,366 --> 00:06:39,616 It is bizarre. 105 00:06:40,575 --> 00:06:43,075 It's a mistake, but here I am. 106 00:06:43,241 --> 00:06:44,366 That's my life. 107 00:06:51,866 --> 00:06:53,658 How unhappy are you? 108 00:06:54,408 --> 00:06:55,783 It goes in periods. 109 00:06:58,283 --> 00:07:00,283 We have periods of ghastliness. 110 00:07:01,533 --> 00:07:04,075 Then long periods of quiet and love. 111 00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,283 You still sleep together? 112 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,075 I thought you'd ask that. 113 00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:12,658 I don't intend to answer. 114 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,200 Good evening! 115 00:07:17,533 --> 00:07:18,700 Good evening. 116 00:07:20,783 --> 00:07:22,366 Have a nice day? 117 00:07:23,741 --> 00:07:26,908 A wretched day of writing... 118 00:07:27,075 --> 00:07:29,408 My poor, aggrieved hero. 119 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,408 Oh, a kiss! 120 00:07:32,533 --> 00:07:33,615 Yep! 121 00:07:33,616 --> 00:07:35,783 - We know each other. - Yes we do. 122 00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:40,283 What are you doing? 123 00:07:40,741 --> 00:07:41,950 Rereading my notes. 124 00:07:44,450 --> 00:07:46,200 Don't come to bed too late. 125 00:07:47,116 --> 00:07:48,866 I'll be there soon. 126 00:07:51,366 --> 00:07:52,783 Very impressive! 127 00:07:52,983 --> 00:07:54,116 What? 128 00:07:54,283 --> 00:07:56,075 - I love you. - I love you. 129 00:07:56,366 --> 00:07:59,325 You, a ribbon in your hair. 130 00:07:59,741 --> 00:08:01,075 Don't like it? 131 00:08:01,658 --> 00:08:03,116 I do like it. 132 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:06,200 Why aren't you happy with your wife? 133 00:08:06,741 --> 00:08:08,075 Why isn't it enough? 134 00:08:08,241 --> 00:08:10,825 Why isn't your husband enough? 135 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,658 I've told you lots about him. 136 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,033 Tell me why your wife isn't enough. 137 00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,866 You're asking the wrong question. 138 00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:19,700 What's the right one? 139 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:21,408 I don't know. 140 00:08:26,116 --> 00:08:27,491 Why am I here? 141 00:08:27,950 --> 00:08:31,116 Because I followed temptation where it led me. 142 00:08:31,283 --> 00:08:33,783 I do that now that I'm older. 143 00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:36,616 Why so anxious not to hurt her? 144 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,741 Why should I want to hurt her? 145 00:08:40,575 --> 00:08:42,658 You don't seem free to do everything. 146 00:08:43,450 --> 00:08:45,825 What's free? Are you free? 147 00:08:46,283 --> 00:08:47,741 Free-ish. 148 00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:49,200 Free-er than you. 149 00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:52,366 Nonsense! Let's cut this conversation short. 150 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,533 Why? 151 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,825 Maybe only one adulterous partner 152 00:08:55,991 --> 00:08:59,241 should complain about domestic dissatisfactions. 153 00:09:00,033 --> 00:09:02,616 Making your dissatisfaction out of bounds. 154 00:09:02,950 --> 00:09:06,908 Except your dissatisfactions with England and Englishness. 155 00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:10,241 Can't it be that domestic dissatisfactions 156 00:09:10,408 --> 00:09:13,991 have nothing to do with my falling in love with you? 157 00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:16,283 Besides cultural displacement. 158 00:09:17,283 --> 00:09:19,450 I owe this to cultural displacement? 159 00:09:19,616 --> 00:09:20,700 Maybe. 160 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,575 So our story is a cultural one? 161 00:09:23,741 --> 00:09:25,991 A genre I always find interesting. 162 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:27,950 Gentile women. 163 00:09:28,241 --> 00:09:30,241 You're in love with anthropology. 164 00:09:30,408 --> 00:09:33,283 There are worse ways to address anthropological differences. 165 00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:37,200 The old standbys: hatred, xenophobia, 166 00:09:37,366 --> 00:09:39,116 violence, murder. 167 00:09:39,283 --> 00:09:41,783 Yes, my dear, you're... 168 00:09:42,575 --> 00:09:46,200 you're the Albert Schweitzer of cross-cultural fucking. 169 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,158 Malinowski is fine, he'll do. 170 00:09:56,408 --> 00:09:57,616 What's wrong? 171 00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,075 Answer me. 172 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,158 I can tell something's wrong. 173 00:10:02,283 --> 00:10:04,033 A nanny, 174 00:10:04,283 --> 00:10:07,075 a child, two squabbling housekeepers. 175 00:10:07,991 --> 00:10:10,658 And the usual English damp. 176 00:10:12,950 --> 00:10:15,866 I don't think we can continue our liaison. 177 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,366 The days are too short. 178 00:10:18,658 --> 00:10:19,866 Really? 179 00:10:21,366 --> 00:10:22,825 That's too bad. 180 00:10:23,783 --> 00:10:24,950 You don't agree? 181 00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:29,116 Didn't our last conversation take that turn? 182 00:10:30,616 --> 00:10:31,950 Oh, I see. 183 00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:33,950 Whatever you want. 184 00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:35,783 I think it's best. 185 00:10:36,283 --> 00:10:37,991 You said it's driving you nuts. 186 00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:39,866 What's driving me nuts? 187 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:43,241 All these sexual matters. 188 00:10:44,366 --> 00:10:48,158 You said you weren't keen on just a romantic friendship. 189 00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:51,616 I'll simplify it for you, if you want it simple. 190 00:10:54,783 --> 00:10:57,575 Why the silence? I hate you when you're silent. 191 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,450 I'm here. 192 00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:10,158 Get my letter? 193 00:11:10,616 --> 00:11:13,658 Yes, I got it. That letter is... wonderful. 194 00:11:15,116 --> 00:11:16,158 I tore it up. 195 00:11:16,741 --> 00:11:18,158 Obviously, of course. 196 00:11:18,491 --> 00:11:21,366 - It seemed the best thing to do. - Indeed. 197 00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:25,075 Very strange to see you. 198 00:11:25,825 --> 00:11:27,700 Stranger not to, right? 199 00:11:27,866 --> 00:11:28,950 That I don't know. 200 00:11:29,491 --> 00:11:31,408 You disappeared for a while. 201 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,033 You've changed too. 202 00:11:35,741 --> 00:11:37,700 You do look a bit different. 203 00:11:37,866 --> 00:11:40,783 - What happened to you? - I look that different? 204 00:11:41,866 --> 00:11:42,991 Taller? 205 00:11:43,366 --> 00:11:44,366 Shorter? 206 00:11:45,158 --> 00:11:47,075 - Pudgier. - I don't know. 207 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,741 It's very subtle. 208 00:11:50,533 --> 00:11:52,075 Something subtle? 209 00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:53,241 Yeah. 210 00:11:54,325 --> 00:11:55,575 I've missed you. 211 00:12:00,491 --> 00:12:01,575 I'm freezing. 212 00:12:02,658 --> 00:12:05,658 I behaved very stupidly with my husband. 213 00:12:06,658 --> 00:12:09,700 He's had to put up with me terribly lonely 214 00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:11,533 and depressed for years. 215 00:12:13,325 --> 00:12:17,491 I didn't have affairs. I thought he was vulnerable. 216 00:12:17,866 --> 00:12:20,950 Your husband doesn't sound that vulnerable. 217 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,950 Why not tell him: "If you don't give her up, 218 00:12:24,116 --> 00:12:25,908 I'll sleep in the other room? 219 00:12:26,075 --> 00:12:29,323 You're free. Either you fuck her or you fuck me. 220 00:12:29,324 --> 00:12:30,391 Take your pick." 221 00:12:31,075 --> 00:12:33,283 She's an important part of his life. 222 00:12:33,866 --> 00:12:35,658 It would be selfish on my behalf. 223 00:12:36,783 --> 00:12:38,491 Selfish on your part? 224 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,866 You think you that, then marry me. 225 00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:43,075 It's lovely to hear a woman say: 226 00:12:43,491 --> 00:12:45,908 "It would be selfish to ask my husband 227 00:12:46,075 --> 00:12:47,783 to give up his girlfriend." 228 00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:50,241 I think it would be though. 229 00:12:50,866 --> 00:12:52,741 It's easier when I don't see you. 230 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,075 We get distracted, we forget. 231 00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:59,158 None of this terrible comparing. 232 00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:04,408 I wanted to explain what's going on in my head. 233 00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:06,491 But... 234 00:13:07,283 --> 00:13:09,033 I feel like I'm abusing. 235 00:13:09,325 --> 00:13:10,575 Let's talk about it. 236 00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:13,533 I like to know what's in your head. 237 00:13:15,658 --> 00:13:17,408 I'm very fond of your head. 238 00:13:18,450 --> 00:13:20,283 I had my mother for the weekend. 239 00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:22,783 And he just disappeared. 240 00:13:23,616 --> 00:13:28,075 Lunch tomorrow with my mother-in-law, who's so hellishly unpleasant. 241 00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:31,283 You know what a cervix is? 242 00:13:31,616 --> 00:13:32,825 I think so. 243 00:13:33,366 --> 00:13:35,741 Well, I've got a lump on mine. 244 00:13:36,533 --> 00:13:38,408 I must do a test or something. 245 00:13:40,408 --> 00:13:43,241 My husband says I've ruined his sex life. 246 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,616 I so don't enjoy sex with him. 247 00:13:48,991 --> 00:13:50,283 It's always... 248 00:13:51,658 --> 00:13:53,325 hard and lonely. 249 00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,283 That's the way it is. 250 00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:57,450 It's life, isn't it? 251 00:13:58,616 --> 00:14:02,991 Why not do your husband a favor and try to come? 252 00:14:05,283 --> 00:14:06,575 I don't want to. 253 00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:09,450 It's better than arguing. 254 00:14:11,616 --> 00:14:13,491 I get so angry with him. 255 00:14:13,783 --> 00:14:15,325 Don't get angry. 256 00:14:15,491 --> 00:14:17,408 Your husband's fucking you. 257 00:14:17,575 --> 00:14:18,575 Let him. 258 00:14:19,241 --> 00:14:21,366 It's not under my conscious control. 259 00:14:21,533 --> 00:14:25,033 Just be a whore for half an hour. It won't kill you! 260 00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:27,116 Whores don't come. 261 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,283 Play the whore! 262 00:14:30,908 --> 00:14:33,616 Don't be so serious about everything. 263 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,366 He's... 264 00:14:36,950 --> 00:14:40,950 the type who thinks women must have multiple orgasms, 265 00:14:41,491 --> 00:14:43,033 that we must come together. 266 00:14:44,158 --> 00:14:46,116 Normal for young people, isn't it? 267 00:14:48,283 --> 00:14:51,158 Once you acquire some history, resentments, 268 00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:55,991 how can you explain losing interest in someone sexually? 269 00:14:57,366 --> 00:14:59,200 Why not ask why it snows? 270 00:14:59,575 --> 00:15:01,575 Not a reason for leaving him? 271 00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:14,532 You know, 272 00:15:14,533 --> 00:15:16,950 when I met you, you were ripe. 273 00:15:18,283 --> 00:15:19,616 Ripe for the picking. 274 00:15:21,283 --> 00:15:22,866 No, I was... 275 00:15:24,616 --> 00:15:26,991 on the ground, rotting under the tree. 276 00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:42,533 On the ground, rotting under the tree. 277 00:15:58,533 --> 00:16:01,200 Is your husband safely in a hospital room? 278 00:16:02,866 --> 00:16:04,616 Think the tootsie's there too? 279 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,741 "Tootsie" is such a wonderful word. 280 00:16:08,325 --> 00:16:10,658 Yes, I thought you might like it. 281 00:16:11,533 --> 00:16:13,700 I gave him unduly bad press. 282 00:16:13,866 --> 00:16:15,283 He has many qualities. 283 00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:18,700 But the truth of the matter is... 284 00:16:18,866 --> 00:16:20,991 I haven't slept so well in ages. 285 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:24,658 I woke up this morning feeling absolutely normal. 286 00:16:26,741 --> 00:16:28,158 He comes back tomorrow. 287 00:16:44,491 --> 00:16:46,033 You're shaking. You ill? 288 00:16:46,325 --> 00:16:47,908 I'm terribly excited. 289 00:17:03,596 --> 00:17:04,658 What? 290 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,241 "And you give me 291 00:17:15,616 --> 00:17:17,783 the pleasure of your eyes, 292 00:17:18,533 --> 00:17:20,200 of your face, 293 00:17:21,658 --> 00:17:23,158 of your flesh." 294 00:17:28,116 --> 00:17:30,658 Maybe because it was Valentine's Day, 295 00:17:31,658 --> 00:17:34,491 I woke up in the middle of the night 296 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,991 with a terrific sensation. 297 00:17:38,616 --> 00:17:42,575 It felt like your hand was on my cock. 298 00:17:43,866 --> 00:17:45,366 It was no one's. 299 00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:46,950 It was a dream. 300 00:17:47,325 --> 00:17:50,616 How did I end up being so hooked on you? 301 00:17:51,241 --> 00:17:54,158 It's that you spend all day in this room. 302 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,950 You have no new experiences here. 303 00:17:57,241 --> 00:17:58,866 No adventures. 304 00:18:01,325 --> 00:18:02,866 I have you. 305 00:18:10,908 --> 00:18:12,866 How long has it been now? 306 00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:15,408 A year and a half. 307 00:18:20,658 --> 00:18:21,991 I know nothing about you. 308 00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:25,575 Sure, I do know a bit. 309 00:18:25,825 --> 00:18:28,825 From reading your books. But not a lot. 310 00:18:31,116 --> 00:18:34,825 We may as well be holed up in the Frank family's attic. 311 00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:36,491 Yes. 312 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:39,366 Our lot in life. 313 00:18:42,783 --> 00:18:43,991 What are you thinking? 314 00:18:45,741 --> 00:18:48,325 I feel so urgently the need for solitude. 315 00:18:57,950 --> 00:19:00,033 You look so damned tired. 316 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,283 What can I do? 317 00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:03,241 I dunno, run away! 318 00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:04,783 Excuse me. 319 00:19:09,908 --> 00:19:11,991 Know what I'm doing on Tuesday? 320 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,200 No. 321 00:19:13,366 --> 00:19:14,866 I'm seeing a solicitor. 322 00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:17,116 About getting a divorce? 323 00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:19,908 Just to find out what's up. 324 00:19:22,408 --> 00:19:24,908 I'll get to your place in a heightened state. 325 00:19:26,033 --> 00:19:27,115 I'm off. 326 00:19:27,116 --> 00:19:29,158 It should be interesting. 327 00:19:38,162 --> 00:19:40,246 When I lived in the country, 328 00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,246 before spending time in the city, 329 00:19:42,996 --> 00:19:44,579 I was so simple. 330 00:19:44,996 --> 00:19:47,121 If you struggle a lot, that dies. 331 00:19:47,746 --> 00:19:49,412 I used to be a lot of fun. 332 00:19:49,912 --> 00:19:51,996 I enjoy you now. 333 00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:59,621 What if he asks how you got the bruise? 334 00:19:59,787 --> 00:20:01,079 He already has. 335 00:20:01,849 --> 00:20:02,870 And? 336 00:20:02,871 --> 00:20:04,121 I told the truth. 337 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,954 I always do. That way, you never get caught. 338 00:20:07,412 --> 00:20:08,704 What did you say? 339 00:20:08,912 --> 00:20:12,454 I said: "I got this bruise 340 00:20:12,746 --> 00:20:14,329 in a torrid embrace 341 00:20:14,496 --> 00:20:17,246 with an unemployed writer 342 00:20:17,496 --> 00:20:18,704 in a flat, 343 00:20:18,871 --> 00:20:20,996 a walk-up, in Notting Hill." 344 00:20:21,162 --> 00:20:22,371 And? 345 00:20:22,829 --> 00:20:24,746 It sounds silly and everyone laughs. 346 00:20:24,912 --> 00:20:27,246 And you maintain the illusion of honesty. 347 00:20:27,496 --> 00:20:28,621 Absolutely. 348 00:20:43,662 --> 00:20:45,954 I was a little Czech girl. 349 00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:50,412 I went to your hotel. 350 00:20:52,204 --> 00:20:54,287 You asked me up to your room 351 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:57,037 to help you carry some books. 352 00:20:59,121 --> 00:21:02,246 It was 10 o'clock in the morning. 353 00:21:03,412 --> 00:21:06,037 And they were very rude with me. 354 00:21:06,329 --> 00:21:08,412 They treated me like a whore. 355 00:21:08,871 --> 00:21:11,704 And you, you made a scene! 356 00:21:14,162 --> 00:21:15,579 You were kind. 357 00:21:18,162 --> 00:21:21,246 Then I took you across the Charles Bridge 358 00:21:22,204 --> 00:21:25,121 and you taught me tons of colloquial words. 359 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,871 We had dinner at your hotel. 360 00:21:31,621 --> 00:21:33,954 You didn't care particularly about me. 361 00:21:35,329 --> 00:21:38,579 I was about 21, 22. 362 00:21:40,412 --> 00:21:42,412 I'm much older now. 363 00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:49,412 What's that park at the top of Prague where we sat? 364 00:21:50,954 --> 00:21:53,912 We didn't go there. That was someone else. 365 00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:55,579 No, no one else. 366 00:21:55,746 --> 00:21:58,162 I particularly did care for you. 367 00:22:00,912 --> 00:22:05,246 You once telephoned me to invite me to an orgy, remember? 368 00:22:05,954 --> 00:22:07,037 You did! 369 00:22:07,954 --> 00:22:09,746 I wasn't brave enough to go. 370 00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:12,204 You didn't miss a thing. Very boring. 371 00:22:12,412 --> 00:22:14,121 You were always tailed. 372 00:22:14,287 --> 00:22:16,787 When we sat in a restaurant, 373 00:22:17,204 --> 00:22:21,537 that guy from the police always sat next to us. 374 00:22:22,371 --> 00:22:24,037 We found it unbearable. 375 00:22:24,246 --> 00:22:25,746 It was unbearable. 376 00:22:26,871 --> 00:22:29,412 I worked at the American library. 377 00:22:30,996 --> 00:22:33,371 My professor got me the job. 378 00:22:34,246 --> 00:22:36,829 He said it would be great for us all 379 00:22:36,996 --> 00:22:39,537 because we could get books... 380 00:22:40,037 --> 00:22:41,329 Books. 381 00:22:43,287 --> 00:22:45,537 And it was a fantastic job. 382 00:22:45,829 --> 00:22:48,287 But in the end it became difficult. 383 00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:53,996 I had to decide 384 00:22:54,162 --> 00:22:56,996 to work for the Secret Service or to leave. 385 00:22:57,287 --> 00:23:00,537 You're in London now. You can talk. Talk! 386 00:23:02,162 --> 00:23:03,746 I'll tell you. 387 00:23:05,412 --> 00:23:06,537 They told me... 388 00:23:08,121 --> 00:23:10,204 We know that you like your job, 389 00:23:10,371 --> 00:23:12,287 that you make lot of money. 390 00:23:13,954 --> 00:23:16,454 They gave me a paper to sign. 391 00:23:17,037 --> 00:23:20,121 The discussion we'd be having was a state secret. 392 00:23:20,954 --> 00:23:23,204 If I spoke to anyone, 393 00:23:23,371 --> 00:23:24,954 including my own family, 394 00:23:25,287 --> 00:23:26,871 I would be prosecuted 395 00:23:27,621 --> 00:23:29,662 and imprisoned for seven years. 396 00:23:30,246 --> 00:23:31,871 Sentenced for what? 397 00:23:32,162 --> 00:23:33,829 I risked prison anyway. 398 00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:37,162 I was so scared, I told all my friends. 399 00:23:37,787 --> 00:23:39,037 So I said: 400 00:23:39,454 --> 00:23:42,204 "Why sign something I know nothing about?" 401 00:23:42,371 --> 00:23:44,246 Sign it! Stop asking questions! 402 00:23:44,412 --> 00:23:47,037 I can't sign anything I don't know about! 403 00:23:47,204 --> 00:23:49,079 Your work, friends, country... 404 00:23:49,329 --> 00:23:51,454 it's all over, you understand? 405 00:23:54,121 --> 00:23:56,787 "No, I'll tell you straightaway, I can't, 406 00:23:56,954 --> 00:23:58,496 I can't do it." 407 00:23:58,954 --> 00:24:02,204 So they said: "You'll have to find another job. 408 00:24:02,621 --> 00:24:04,704 There's no future for you here." 409 00:24:05,621 --> 00:24:07,579 They didn't fire me immediately. 410 00:24:08,246 --> 00:24:11,912 I went back to work. I didn't tell anyone. 411 00:24:12,412 --> 00:24:14,246 Then the nightmare began. 412 00:24:14,412 --> 00:24:17,412 The Americans did the same thing. 413 00:24:18,037 --> 00:24:19,996 Said they were interested in me, 414 00:24:20,162 --> 00:24:22,621 that I should spy for them. 415 00:24:27,454 --> 00:24:28,829 Jana! 416 00:24:35,871 --> 00:24:38,496 Same thing, I refused the Americans too. 417 00:24:39,329 --> 00:24:42,121 By that time, my situation had become 418 00:24:42,287 --> 00:24:44,162 absolutely awful. 419 00:24:46,371 --> 00:24:49,954 They were both interested because I speak the languages. 420 00:24:50,662 --> 00:24:52,662 I'm quite good at translating. 421 00:24:53,746 --> 00:24:55,371 I always enjoyed literature. 422 00:24:56,037 --> 00:24:57,037 I know. 423 00:24:57,246 --> 00:24:58,662 I translated stories 424 00:24:58,829 --> 00:25:00,287 for Czech papers. 425 00:25:02,246 --> 00:25:06,246 At the library, I'd become so isolated I had to quit. 426 00:25:07,787 --> 00:25:09,912 I left soon after. 427 00:25:11,912 --> 00:25:15,412 That's why I married that stupid Englishman 428 00:25:15,579 --> 00:25:18,079 who at least knew he wanted me. 429 00:25:19,579 --> 00:25:20,912 1978. 430 00:25:21,079 --> 00:25:23,537 You married to get out. No shame. 431 00:25:29,371 --> 00:25:31,037 To leave the country, 432 00:25:31,204 --> 00:25:34,537 you need lots of papers, it takes forever. 433 00:25:35,162 --> 00:25:38,162 When I left Czechoslovakia, I no longer loved him. 434 00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:41,579 When I got to England, 435 00:25:41,954 --> 00:25:43,954 I just couldn't cope. 436 00:25:46,787 --> 00:25:50,912 At first he was so upset to see me crying. 437 00:25:51,454 --> 00:25:53,787 I felt miserable 438 00:25:54,079 --> 00:25:56,079 and I missed all my friends. 439 00:25:57,496 --> 00:26:00,079 I did every odd job. 440 00:26:02,537 --> 00:26:05,329 And on the third day, I'd be thrown out 441 00:26:05,496 --> 00:26:07,787 because I talked back. 442 00:26:08,371 --> 00:26:10,621 I was still a Czech. 443 00:26:11,912 --> 00:26:14,037 Your life story is more interesting. 444 00:26:14,204 --> 00:26:15,746 Not at all. Go on. 445 00:26:16,829 --> 00:26:19,927 The English husband... how did it end? 446 00:26:19,928 --> 00:26:20,996 Badly. 447 00:26:23,246 --> 00:26:25,079 I hated Czechoslovakia 448 00:26:25,246 --> 00:26:27,329 because it had very set rules. 449 00:26:27,496 --> 00:26:29,287 You couldn't breathe. 450 00:26:29,954 --> 00:26:32,162 But I don't like England, 451 00:26:33,829 --> 00:26:35,954 because it has another set of rules. 452 00:26:36,121 --> 00:26:39,371 Of little houses and vegetable gardens, 453 00:26:39,537 --> 00:26:42,912 and all their life is to get something like that. 454 00:26:43,912 --> 00:26:45,871 I can't be like that. 455 00:26:48,621 --> 00:26:50,704 Because I'm educated. 456 00:26:55,079 --> 00:26:57,371 I have no place here. 457 00:26:59,871 --> 00:27:01,246 None at all. 458 00:27:31,829 --> 00:27:33,371 Hello. It's me. 459 00:27:36,371 --> 00:27:37,954 Oh, it's you. 460 00:27:38,746 --> 00:27:39,954 How are you? 461 00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:44,996 - I'm fine.- What do you know? 462 00:27:45,162 --> 00:27:46,371 Anything new? 463 00:27:46,537 --> 00:27:47,537 No. 464 00:27:48,537 --> 00:27:51,079 I have to do a tomography this morning. 465 00:27:51,912 --> 00:27:53,746 It's quite a heavy day. 466 00:27:54,055 --> 00:27:55,079 I see. 467 00:27:55,579 --> 00:27:57,537 The tomography will tell you what? 468 00:27:58,912 --> 00:28:00,371 How long I have. 469 00:28:03,162 --> 00:28:04,204 No. 470 00:28:05,412 --> 00:28:09,037 If the tomography shows tumors, it's bad news. 471 00:28:09,204 --> 00:28:11,537 It means the drugs aren't working. 472 00:28:11,829 --> 00:28:15,329 And if it shows nothing, I still need surgery 473 00:28:15,496 --> 00:28:16,787 to see what's going on. 474 00:28:16,996 --> 00:28:18,662 Results are on Monday. 475 00:28:19,329 --> 00:28:22,121 So this is a big weekend. 476 00:28:22,371 --> 00:28:23,496 Yes. 477 00:28:23,662 --> 00:28:24,829 Pretty big. 478 00:28:27,704 --> 00:28:29,704 Are you able to write anything? 479 00:28:32,579 --> 00:28:34,496 The narratives crumble. 480 00:28:38,621 --> 00:28:40,746 No, I've been doing yoga. 481 00:28:41,412 --> 00:28:43,621 I eat macrobiotic. 482 00:28:45,162 --> 00:28:46,287 Macrobiotic... 483 00:28:46,454 --> 00:28:49,996 I'm just trying to live with what joy there is. 484 00:28:50,287 --> 00:28:53,121 - How's your support system? - Great! 485 00:28:54,871 --> 00:28:59,037 Even my father phoned from wherever the hell he lives now. 486 00:29:00,037 --> 00:29:01,704 So it's not so great. 487 00:29:02,079 --> 00:29:05,579 It is! A call from my father makes cancer worth it. 488 00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,079 No, they're great. 489 00:29:11,412 --> 00:29:13,287 All my ex-men are wonderful. 490 00:29:13,621 --> 00:29:14,912 Very nice. 491 00:29:15,079 --> 00:29:16,537 Very attentive. 492 00:29:17,996 --> 00:29:20,246 Never coming back to America? 493 00:29:20,912 --> 00:29:23,662 New York next month. I'll see you the day I get in. 494 00:29:26,287 --> 00:29:27,371 Nice! 495 00:29:28,954 --> 00:29:30,204 What's up over there? 496 00:29:30,829 --> 00:29:32,662 What's London life like? 497 00:29:32,829 --> 00:29:35,287 Not very different from 81st Street. 498 00:29:35,496 --> 00:29:36,746 Put it here. 499 00:29:37,621 --> 00:29:38,871 Thank you. 500 00:29:39,829 --> 00:29:40,871 Still writing? 501 00:29:41,037 --> 00:29:42,037 Yes. 502 00:29:42,412 --> 00:29:45,079 I thought you'd give that up with any luck. 503 00:29:45,496 --> 00:29:48,329 No. With my typewriter in my room. 504 00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:51,871 And in the evening, cultural events, social events. 505 00:29:52,037 --> 00:29:53,412 Very insipid, very English. 506 00:29:53,746 --> 00:29:56,037 Social events are called dinner parties. 507 00:29:56,287 --> 00:29:57,329 Yes. 508 00:29:57,704 --> 00:30:01,246 Trouble is, I get seated by other men's wives. 509 00:30:01,621 --> 00:30:02,829 Of course. 510 00:30:03,662 --> 00:30:05,537 You know about other men's wives? 511 00:30:05,746 --> 00:30:07,121 They're boring. 512 00:30:07,287 --> 00:30:08,287 Very. 513 00:30:08,621 --> 00:30:11,329 Unlike you when you were another man's wife. 514 00:30:12,912 --> 00:30:14,204 Where's my book? 515 00:30:14,621 --> 00:30:15,704 What book? 516 00:30:15,871 --> 00:30:17,621 The book with me in it. 517 00:30:18,246 --> 00:30:20,454 I like that one! 518 00:30:21,496 --> 00:30:24,829 So do something interesting I can stick in there! 519 00:30:26,287 --> 00:30:27,371 Me? 520 00:30:27,579 --> 00:30:29,454 I may be dying. 521 00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:32,371 You don't know that. 522 00:30:33,162 --> 00:30:34,537 I'll know Monday. 523 00:30:35,454 --> 00:30:37,787 I'll call Monday for your results. 524 00:30:38,162 --> 00:30:42,389 Now I'm going to stop before I utter more platitudes. 525 00:30:42,390 --> 00:30:43,390 Yes! 526 00:30:43,662 --> 00:30:45,746 When I hear platitudes, 527 00:30:46,371 --> 00:30:47,704 I prick up my ears! 528 00:30:48,162 --> 00:30:49,162 Indeed! 529 00:30:49,299 --> 00:30:50,299 Bye. 530 00:30:52,079 --> 00:30:53,329 Have a good day. 531 00:30:53,912 --> 00:30:55,079 Goodbye. 532 00:31:02,162 --> 00:31:05,496 Winter. 533 00:32:03,662 --> 00:32:04,662 Wait... 534 00:32:12,704 --> 00:32:14,246 I'll write them down. 535 00:32:14,621 --> 00:32:15,746 You begin. 536 00:32:15,954 --> 00:32:17,496 What's it called? 537 00:32:18,079 --> 00:32:20,621 I don't know. What do we call it? 538 00:32:21,079 --> 00:32:24,537 "Questionnaire about dreaming of fleeing together". 539 00:32:24,704 --> 00:32:26,371 Nice. "Questionnaire... 540 00:32:26,537 --> 00:32:28,996 "about lovers... 541 00:32:29,412 --> 00:32:31,746 lovers dreaming of fleeing together". 542 00:32:31,912 --> 00:32:34,746 "Questionnaire about lovers dreaming... 543 00:32:35,162 --> 00:32:37,621 middle-aged lovers - fleeing together. 544 00:32:38,162 --> 00:32:40,121 - You're not middle-aged! - I am! 545 00:32:40,287 --> 00:32:42,371 You seem young to me! 546 00:32:42,537 --> 00:32:44,829 Add that to the questionnaire. 547 00:32:50,579 --> 00:32:53,496 "Questionnaire about lovers dreaming of fleeing together." 548 00:32:54,162 --> 00:32:56,037 "Fleeing together." 549 00:32:56,662 --> 00:32:57,954 You begin. 550 00:32:59,371 --> 00:33:02,662 First thing about me that would get on your nerves? 551 00:33:03,662 --> 00:33:05,412 Are you a charming extrovert 552 00:33:05,829 --> 00:33:07,746 or a neurotic recluse? 553 00:33:08,454 --> 00:33:09,912 How long... 554 00:33:10,787 --> 00:33:14,246 before you're attracted to another woman? 555 00:33:14,579 --> 00:33:16,287 Or you by a man? 556 00:33:17,704 --> 00:33:18,954 You mustn't get older. 557 00:33:20,579 --> 00:33:22,329 You think the same about me? 558 00:33:22,496 --> 00:33:24,037 How many men do you need? 559 00:33:25,412 --> 00:33:28,079 Are you entirely heterosexual? 560 00:33:33,496 --> 00:33:34,996 Do you have an idea 561 00:33:35,162 --> 00:33:37,412 of what interests you in me? Be precise. 562 00:33:40,537 --> 00:33:41,954 Have you... 563 00:33:42,579 --> 00:33:43,787 ever lied to me? 564 00:33:43,954 --> 00:33:45,537 Do you tell lies? 565 00:33:46,287 --> 00:33:47,912 Are you against lying? 566 00:33:52,079 --> 00:33:55,787 Do you think that being generous-minded 567 00:33:56,162 --> 00:33:57,787 is a sign of weakness? 568 00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:00,912 Do you care about being weak? 569 00:34:01,246 --> 00:34:03,246 And you, about being strong? 570 00:34:06,121 --> 00:34:08,954 How much money will you let me spend? 571 00:34:09,121 --> 00:34:12,496 Would you let me have any power over your money? 572 00:34:15,162 --> 00:34:17,329 How am I already a disappointment? 573 00:34:19,496 --> 00:34:20,871 Are you going to die? 574 00:34:21,996 --> 00:34:25,329 Are you physically and mentally sound? 575 00:34:29,829 --> 00:34:32,287 What are your real feelings about Jews? 576 00:34:33,871 --> 00:34:37,787 How inept would you be if my husband discovered us? 577 00:34:38,954 --> 00:34:40,496 If he came in now? 578 00:34:44,746 --> 00:34:45,746 Wait. 579 00:34:48,787 --> 00:34:50,954 Seventeen. Any more? 580 00:34:52,121 --> 00:34:53,371 I can't think of any. 581 00:34:53,537 --> 00:34:56,496 - I look forward to your answers. - And I to yours. 582 00:34:59,496 --> 00:35:00,787 I do have one more. 583 00:35:01,204 --> 00:35:02,204 Yes? 584 00:35:02,371 --> 00:35:04,662 Do you like how I dress? 585 00:35:06,912 --> 00:35:08,704 That's straining. 586 00:35:10,329 --> 00:35:11,329 Bastard! 587 00:35:12,204 --> 00:35:14,037 Not at all straining. 588 00:35:16,079 --> 00:35:19,621 The more trivial the defect, the more anger it inspires. 589 00:35:24,162 --> 00:35:25,371 One last question? 590 00:35:25,662 --> 00:35:26,912 I have it! 591 00:35:27,079 --> 00:35:28,412 The last question. 592 00:35:30,996 --> 00:35:32,537 Do you in any way, 593 00:35:33,037 --> 00:35:36,871 in the corner of your heart, still harbor the illusion 594 00:35:37,996 --> 00:35:39,037 that marriage 595 00:35:39,996 --> 00:35:41,829 is a love affair? 596 00:35:42,162 --> 00:35:45,037 If so, it can cause many problems. 597 00:35:46,829 --> 00:35:49,579 I hated being pregnant. It drove me crazy. 598 00:35:51,162 --> 00:35:54,037 I made a fuss about potential birth defects 599 00:35:54,204 --> 00:35:56,454 that went undetected before delivery. 600 00:35:57,037 --> 00:35:58,287 I asked the doctors: 601 00:35:58,454 --> 00:36:02,121 "What if there's something seriously wrong with the baby?" 602 00:36:02,537 --> 00:36:06,912 I was upset about a story on the news just before I was due. 603 00:36:08,287 --> 00:36:10,662 About a woman with a handicapped child. 604 00:36:11,829 --> 00:36:15,204 She stopped feeding it, to kill it. 605 00:36:15,621 --> 00:36:17,454 The baby was adopted. 606 00:36:17,954 --> 00:36:20,121 Creeps get off on others' misfortunes. 607 00:36:20,287 --> 00:36:21,621 You're not one? 608 00:36:21,871 --> 00:36:25,287 Are you? You don't even want a healthy kid. 609 00:36:29,746 --> 00:36:32,871 One day, a doctor I saw told me in secret 610 00:36:33,037 --> 00:36:36,912 you can suffocate a baby with surgical swabs. 611 00:36:38,037 --> 00:36:40,871 I replied there must be a less cruel way 612 00:36:41,037 --> 00:36:42,662 to get rid of a child. 613 00:36:43,329 --> 00:36:44,871 It worried me so. 614 00:36:49,164 --> 00:36:50,246 In England, 615 00:36:50,412 --> 00:36:53,787 if a woman commits a crime within 6 weeks of childbirth, 616 00:36:53,954 --> 00:36:55,579 she won't go to court. 617 00:36:56,121 --> 00:36:57,287 I read this. 618 00:36:58,746 --> 00:37:02,121 Our law has a clause stipulating that... 619 00:37:02,412 --> 00:37:05,287 during that time women aren't sound of mind. 620 00:37:06,787 --> 00:37:09,621 You can kill your kid and get away with it! 621 00:37:11,037 --> 00:37:13,662 You'd have to be careful, but yes. 622 00:37:18,746 --> 00:37:20,204 Honestly... 623 00:37:23,662 --> 00:37:25,246 has the thought 624 00:37:25,787 --> 00:37:27,954 ever crossed your mind 625 00:37:28,579 --> 00:37:30,204 about jumping out a window? 626 00:37:33,287 --> 00:37:34,370 Yes. 627 00:37:34,371 --> 00:37:35,454 A lot? 628 00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:37,287 Sometimes. 629 00:37:38,704 --> 00:37:40,329 What stopped you? 630 00:37:42,621 --> 00:37:45,662 It isn't that I want to die, 631 00:37:47,037 --> 00:37:48,537 it's that I want to live. 632 00:37:50,787 --> 00:37:52,496 I want life to be better. 633 00:37:53,412 --> 00:37:56,246 So better to stay in it a bit longer. 634 00:38:10,632 --> 00:38:12,048 You're not saying much. 635 00:38:12,798 --> 00:38:13,798 I'm listening. 636 00:38:14,340 --> 00:38:16,048 I'm an écouteur. 637 00:38:16,215 --> 00:38:18,382 I'm an audiophiliac. 638 00:38:18,548 --> 00:38:21,382 I'm a talk fetishist! 639 00:38:23,215 --> 00:38:24,340 Very erotic. 640 00:38:25,423 --> 00:38:28,382 You just sitting there, listening. 641 00:38:36,590 --> 00:38:37,632 A new belt! 642 00:39:13,798 --> 00:39:17,340 Very cozy with you on a snowy day. 643 00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:20,715 Lying like this, the snow going round. 644 00:39:22,215 --> 00:39:23,882 Quite wonderful. 645 00:39:42,048 --> 00:39:43,257 Feel all right? 646 00:39:46,382 --> 00:39:47,548 Sweet... 647 00:39:48,298 --> 00:39:49,507 girl. 648 00:39:51,215 --> 00:39:52,673 What are you thinking? 649 00:39:53,090 --> 00:39:54,298 No thoughts. 650 00:39:56,090 --> 00:39:57,507 Is that nice? 651 00:39:59,215 --> 00:40:00,465 It's sublime. 652 00:40:02,507 --> 00:40:03,507 Sublime... 653 00:40:13,298 --> 00:40:14,965 Which do you prefer? 654 00:40:15,590 --> 00:40:17,382 I can't answer that question. 655 00:40:18,007 --> 00:40:20,840 But I want to know. Which do you prefer? 656 00:40:21,006 --> 00:40:22,048 For fondling? 657 00:40:23,090 --> 00:40:26,090 The uncircumcised. 658 00:40:28,132 --> 00:40:30,923 It's interesting to move the sheath over the head. 659 00:40:32,470 --> 00:40:33,470 Yes. 660 00:40:34,257 --> 00:40:35,507 And for fucking? 661 00:40:36,257 --> 00:40:39,590 Don't ask this of a nicely brought-up English female. 662 00:40:39,923 --> 00:40:40,965 For fucking? 663 00:40:41,465 --> 00:40:42,757 For fucking... 664 00:40:43,507 --> 00:40:44,507 the circumcised. 665 00:40:49,007 --> 00:40:50,131 Why? 666 00:40:50,132 --> 00:40:51,840 It's like having it naked. 667 00:40:53,423 --> 00:40:54,965 The naked penis. 668 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:57,465 The naked penis. 669 00:40:58,882 --> 00:41:00,882 Naked penis. 670 00:41:01,340 --> 00:41:04,215 Why does everyone hate Israel so much? 671 00:41:04,382 --> 00:41:05,882 Can you explain it to me? 672 00:41:06,132 --> 00:41:07,715 I think I'd be able to. 673 00:41:07,882 --> 00:41:08,882 Really? 674 00:41:09,465 --> 00:41:12,132 I have an argument every time I go out. 675 00:41:12,298 --> 00:41:15,215 And I come home in a fury and can't sleep. 676 00:41:16,548 --> 00:41:19,215 I'm allied with the planet's two greatest scourges: 677 00:41:19,465 --> 00:41:20,632 you and you. 678 00:41:20,798 --> 00:41:22,465 Israel and America. 679 00:41:22,632 --> 00:41:25,132 Let's grant that Israel's a terrible country... 680 00:41:25,298 --> 00:41:27,965 But I won't, I won't! 681 00:41:28,132 --> 00:41:30,507 But let's grant it. All right? 682 00:41:31,423 --> 00:41:34,590 Still, there are many countries far more terrible. 683 00:41:35,007 --> 00:41:37,382 I've never understood it myself. 684 00:41:37,548 --> 00:41:41,923 It's one of the most curious freaks in modern history. 685 00:41:42,090 --> 00:41:43,298 But why? 686 00:41:43,548 --> 00:41:44,548 Tell me. 687 00:41:45,257 --> 00:41:47,798 - Do you ever ask people? - Yes, often. 688 00:41:47,965 --> 00:41:49,507 And what do they say? 689 00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:53,423 How they treat Arabs is the greatest crime in human history? 690 00:41:53,590 --> 00:41:55,298 Sure, that's what they say! 691 00:41:55,465 --> 00:41:58,632 One of the most extraordinary pieces of hypocrisy 692 00:41:58,798 --> 00:42:01,340 in the history of humanity! 693 00:42:06,048 --> 00:42:09,382 The Czech director. 694 00:42:09,715 --> 00:42:11,798 Olina meets me at the airport. 695 00:42:11,965 --> 00:42:14,798 I bring her a Laura Ashley dress. Perfume. 696 00:42:15,007 --> 00:42:17,923 She kisses me. There's dinner waiting. 697 00:42:18,215 --> 00:42:19,590 Then the door opens. 698 00:42:19,757 --> 00:42:23,382 A six-foot Black man. Shoes for 200 dollars. 699 00:42:23,757 --> 00:42:25,465 Gold necklace, gold ring. 700 00:42:26,298 --> 00:42:28,007 "This is Andrew. 701 00:42:28,382 --> 00:42:30,548 Can he live in the spare room?" 702 00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:34,465 "There's no future for all of us here." 703 00:42:34,632 --> 00:42:36,715 Her: "Can he stay for dinner?" 704 00:42:36,965 --> 00:42:39,840 It's my first night back, but okay. 705 00:42:40,215 --> 00:42:44,298 You can't tell a Black man: "No you can't stay for dinner." 706 00:42:46,590 --> 00:42:50,215 The next morning, my Olinka tells me: 707 00:42:50,382 --> 00:42:52,507 "I love him. I want to marry him." 708 00:42:52,673 --> 00:42:55,715 I was close to buying a hunting rifle. 709 00:42:55,882 --> 00:42:58,715 Not a shotgun, a fucking hunting rifle. 710 00:42:59,215 --> 00:43:00,548 I had a heart attack. 711 00:43:01,298 --> 00:43:03,423 Terrible chest pains. 712 00:43:04,548 --> 00:43:07,590 A week in the hospital, it cost me a fortune. 713 00:43:08,673 --> 00:43:12,340 My lawyer laughs: "You and your wife got a joint account!" 714 00:43:12,715 --> 00:43:13,798 You couldn't have? 715 00:43:13,965 --> 00:43:15,215 I trusted her! 716 00:43:15,632 --> 00:43:17,548 She was a little Czech girl! 717 00:43:17,715 --> 00:43:18,965 Look at her. 718 00:43:19,715 --> 00:43:21,965 Not an American bitch! 719 00:43:22,715 --> 00:43:24,465 Ivan, I'm American... 720 00:43:24,632 --> 00:43:27,007 This girl, a Catholic, was a virgin! 721 00:43:27,173 --> 00:43:29,798 She went to bed in a long nightdress. 722 00:43:29,965 --> 00:43:31,548 Never had an orgasm. 723 00:43:31,715 --> 00:43:34,423 I'm not young, but I'm a good worker. 724 00:43:34,590 --> 00:43:36,465 Nothing! Impossible! 725 00:43:36,632 --> 00:43:38,257 Now she wants to divorce. 726 00:43:38,423 --> 00:43:41,423 She loves that man, she suffers a great deal. 727 00:43:41,590 --> 00:43:43,632 Okay, fine, perfect! 728 00:43:43,798 --> 00:43:46,757 But he didn't fuck her like you did. 729 00:43:47,215 --> 00:43:48,298 He fucked her for fucking. 730 00:43:48,465 --> 00:43:51,257 You're more interested in listening than fucking. 731 00:43:51,923 --> 00:43:53,507 I never fucked Olina. 732 00:43:54,090 --> 00:43:56,173 You're lying to me, my friend. 733 00:43:56,340 --> 00:43:58,715 She's lying, if she said that. 734 00:43:59,298 --> 00:44:01,090 Fucked her 4 times in New York. 735 00:44:01,257 --> 00:44:04,382 When we were such good friends after I came from Prague. 736 00:44:04,548 --> 00:44:06,215 Not even once! 737 00:44:06,382 --> 00:44:08,548 Stop! Olina told me everything! 738 00:44:08,715 --> 00:44:11,215 "Why does he ask irritating questions?" 739 00:44:11,382 --> 00:44:12,507 Stop, it's not true! 740 00:44:12,882 --> 00:44:15,548 Deceitful bastard! You can't resist a story 741 00:44:15,715 --> 00:44:18,715 even from the wife of this refugee friend. 742 00:44:18,882 --> 00:44:21,548 It limits you as a friend and as a novelist. 743 00:44:22,173 --> 00:44:23,507 My books stink too? 744 00:44:23,673 --> 00:44:26,632 - Ivan, they're waiting... - No, get lost. 745 00:44:27,298 --> 00:44:28,632 Don't shout at her! 746 00:44:29,382 --> 00:44:31,507 What did you expect, you bastard? 747 00:44:31,673 --> 00:44:35,132 That I'd help perfect your lousy art after you banged her? 748 00:44:35,423 --> 00:44:37,173 Insult me if you like! 749 00:44:37,340 --> 00:44:38,673 You insist on playing dumb. 750 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,382 Look at you! You're not even sweating. 751 00:44:41,548 --> 00:44:45,840 Yeah, a great actor! But what a terrible novelist. 752 00:44:46,007 --> 00:44:48,798 I'm not sweating because none of this is true. 753 00:44:48,965 --> 00:44:51,298 When I'm guilty, I'm an awful actor! 754 00:44:51,465 --> 00:44:52,882 Believe me, 755 00:44:53,048 --> 00:44:54,757 I out-sweat Nixon! 756 00:44:55,965 --> 00:44:58,007 Stop with this... Stop. 757 00:44:58,507 --> 00:45:01,798 Her leaving you is obviously killing you. 758 00:45:02,048 --> 00:45:05,757 It's awful. And professionally, things haven't worked out here. 759 00:45:06,007 --> 00:45:07,257 And now you lose Olina. 760 00:45:07,423 --> 00:45:10,215 Since the first time we all met, 761 00:45:10,382 --> 00:45:11,715 you've been ogling her. 762 00:45:11,882 --> 00:45:15,132 Yes, I ogled her! She's young and pretty. 763 00:45:15,340 --> 00:45:17,757 But ogling isn't fucking! 764 00:45:17,923 --> 00:45:20,048 You American shitface. 765 00:45:20,340 --> 00:45:21,923 Pampered little liar! 766 00:45:22,798 --> 00:45:25,548 Put that down! You'll have another heart attack! 767 00:45:25,798 --> 00:45:27,715 Don't worry, American boy. 768 00:45:27,882 --> 00:45:30,048 I won't shoot you in the trousers. 769 00:45:30,215 --> 00:45:31,715 There's no cause to! 770 00:45:32,007 --> 00:45:34,632 No, I'll shoot you in the ears. 771 00:45:36,923 --> 00:45:40,257 The governor's pardon. 772 00:45:49,132 --> 00:45:51,423 Yes it's me. How did it go? 773 00:45:57,882 --> 00:45:58,882 A miracle... 774 00:45:59,048 --> 00:46:00,172 No! 775 00:46:00,173 --> 00:46:01,199 Yes! 776 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:02,200 No! 777 00:46:02,757 --> 00:46:04,548 It's a miracle! 778 00:46:07,590 --> 00:46:09,423 Tell me about the miracle. 779 00:46:11,465 --> 00:46:15,090 The tomography showed no sign of pathology. 780 00:46:16,173 --> 00:46:19,382 So this thing which was incredibly virulent 781 00:46:19,548 --> 00:46:21,882 is responding to the treatment. 782 00:46:22,173 --> 00:46:24,423 - This is wonderful! - Yes, wait. 783 00:46:24,590 --> 00:46:27,298 The doctor's pleased. He'd given me a year. 784 00:46:27,465 --> 00:46:28,965 The prognostic has changed! 785 00:46:29,132 --> 00:46:30,132 Phew! 786 00:46:30,340 --> 00:46:31,382 Phew! 787 00:46:31,632 --> 00:46:32,923 As you say. 788 00:46:33,173 --> 00:46:34,715 You did all right. 789 00:46:36,007 --> 00:46:38,007 Yeah, I did all right. 790 00:46:39,132 --> 00:46:41,007 Know what this is called? 791 00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:44,132 The governor's pardon. 792 00:46:44,507 --> 00:46:45,965 But who's the governor? 793 00:46:46,132 --> 00:46:47,298 No idea! 794 00:46:47,465 --> 00:46:50,882 But clearly I must stay on his good side. 795 00:46:52,632 --> 00:46:54,715 A tomography of your whole body? 796 00:46:56,132 --> 00:46:57,132 No. 797 00:46:57,590 --> 00:46:59,673 From the groin to the heart. 798 00:47:00,340 --> 00:47:01,965 And the doctor said 799 00:47:02,673 --> 00:47:05,548 if there was a tumor anywhere else, 800 00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:08,715 there'd be a liquid, a shadow, in that area, 801 00:47:09,132 --> 00:47:10,382 the starting area. 802 00:47:10,632 --> 00:47:11,715 It's called... 803 00:47:12,798 --> 00:47:15,257 "the preferred path" of these cancers. 804 00:47:15,423 --> 00:47:16,673 Know about that? 805 00:47:17,340 --> 00:47:19,632 "The Preferred Path". 806 00:47:21,590 --> 00:47:22,965 Unbelievable. 807 00:47:24,132 --> 00:47:27,673 This is terrific, this is terrific news! 808 00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:28,840 Yes! 809 00:47:29,882 --> 00:47:32,007 It's been quite a day. 810 00:47:35,798 --> 00:47:37,090 I was scared. 811 00:47:38,132 --> 00:47:39,673 I was so scared. 812 00:47:42,965 --> 00:47:46,715 I thought there might be something... 813 00:47:48,715 --> 00:47:50,882 hideous in my nature 814 00:47:53,298 --> 00:47:56,757 that would make me weep at the news. 815 00:47:59,298 --> 00:48:01,840 You're entitled to any reaction. 816 00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:06,340 No preferred paths 817 00:48:06,507 --> 00:48:07,965 for emotions. 818 00:48:09,007 --> 00:48:11,007 So now I'll say goodbye. 819 00:48:11,882 --> 00:48:12,882 Already? 820 00:48:14,340 --> 00:48:16,132 What more is there to say? 821 00:48:16,548 --> 00:48:18,590 I knew you'd react like this. 822 00:48:19,757 --> 00:48:21,465 - Come on.- No! 823 00:48:21,632 --> 00:48:24,257 We must remain friends. 824 00:48:25,882 --> 00:48:27,632 Old friends. 825 00:48:29,548 --> 00:48:32,965 Anyway, I'm not completely out of the woods. 826 00:48:33,132 --> 00:48:36,173 So you can still be a little nice to me. 827 00:48:37,507 --> 00:48:39,882 And once you're out of the woods? 828 00:48:40,507 --> 00:48:42,715 Then you can be yourself. 829 00:48:43,038 --> 00:48:44,090 All right. 830 00:48:44,965 --> 00:48:46,048 All right. 831 00:48:49,465 --> 00:48:50,673 Have a good day. 832 00:48:52,590 --> 00:48:53,757 Goodnight. 833 00:48:56,298 --> 00:48:59,632 Winter sports. 834 00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:22,173 Remember me? 835 00:49:23,007 --> 00:49:24,257 It's coming back. 836 00:49:25,215 --> 00:49:26,257 Slowly. 837 00:49:26,423 --> 00:49:28,048 Take your time. 838 00:49:31,923 --> 00:49:33,048 You got thinner? 839 00:49:34,423 --> 00:49:36,048 You got used to someone fatter. 840 00:49:39,007 --> 00:49:41,090 It's great to see you. 841 00:49:45,590 --> 00:49:47,923 I wish you could have come skiing. 842 00:49:48,090 --> 00:49:49,465 It's so peaceful. 843 00:49:49,882 --> 00:49:53,173 Going up the hill very quietly on the lift. 844 00:49:53,423 --> 00:49:55,965 - You're with me on many mountains. - Me? 845 00:49:56,132 --> 00:49:57,965 Yes, while riding the T-bar. 846 00:49:58,257 --> 00:50:00,132 Me and the hiss of the T-bar. 847 00:50:00,507 --> 00:50:01,632 That's right. 848 00:50:09,923 --> 00:50:11,465 Everything's right at home? 849 00:50:11,632 --> 00:50:13,340 Yes, perfect. 850 00:50:14,382 --> 00:50:17,590 Nothing better for a marriage than an old boyfriend nearby. 851 00:50:22,298 --> 00:50:23,798 Is that what you think? 852 00:50:26,715 --> 00:50:29,840 Mother taught me never to sit cunt exposed. 853 00:50:30,007 --> 00:50:32,215 And legs over a man's shoulders? 854 00:50:32,590 --> 00:50:34,132 She never mentioned that. 855 00:50:34,423 --> 00:50:37,048 I don't think she had any idea 856 00:50:37,340 --> 00:50:38,882 I'd go in for that. 857 00:50:39,173 --> 00:50:40,382 Smell this. 858 00:50:45,673 --> 00:50:47,257 It really smells good. 859 00:51:14,632 --> 00:51:15,673 You all right? 860 00:51:17,298 --> 00:51:19,882 I'm going to have another birthday tomorrow. 861 00:51:20,048 --> 00:51:22,673 - Not again? - Yes. No way around it. 862 00:51:23,007 --> 00:51:25,340 Subtract 1929 from 1988, 863 00:51:25,507 --> 00:51:27,215 you get 59. 864 00:51:28,173 --> 00:51:29,673 Why take it so hard? 865 00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:30,882 Listen to you! 866 00:51:31,882 --> 00:51:34,840 You piss and moan about being 34. 867 00:51:35,132 --> 00:51:37,590 I know why I take it so hard. 868 00:51:37,757 --> 00:51:38,840 But you? 869 00:51:40,215 --> 00:51:42,173 Because life will be over soon. 870 00:51:44,298 --> 00:51:45,507 I'll be dead. 871 00:51:48,507 --> 00:51:49,548 There you go. 872 00:51:52,715 --> 00:51:53,965 Vodka? 873 00:51:54,507 --> 00:51:56,507 Why do these Slavs come see you? 874 00:51:56,673 --> 00:51:58,590 Because I like them. 875 00:51:58,757 --> 00:52:00,840 Really? More than the English? 876 00:52:01,132 --> 00:52:02,215 Why? 877 00:52:02,465 --> 00:52:04,298 Because they suffer so much? 878 00:52:06,590 --> 00:52:07,798 You know, 879 00:52:08,798 --> 00:52:13,340 displaced persons have things to say. Sometimes you can lend a hand. 880 00:52:14,090 --> 00:52:16,590 Soft spot for victims? From being Jewish? 881 00:52:16,757 --> 00:52:19,798 I don't see myself as a Jewish victim! 882 00:52:20,173 --> 00:52:22,965 You're among the few Jews born in this century 883 00:52:23,132 --> 00:52:26,423 who miraculously escaped the horror. 884 00:52:26,632 --> 00:52:30,298 So those who didn't escape, Jewish or not, fascinate you. 885 00:52:30,465 --> 00:52:31,965 They don't fascinate you? 886 00:52:32,215 --> 00:52:33,257 I'm curious, 887 00:52:33,423 --> 00:52:36,923 but never would I go on holiday in those countries, 888 00:52:37,090 --> 00:52:38,173 I must admit. 889 00:52:38,548 --> 00:52:40,340 How did get you get into that? 890 00:52:40,548 --> 00:52:41,840 By accident. 891 00:52:42,090 --> 00:52:44,632 I'd finished a book, I was traveling. 892 00:52:44,882 --> 00:52:47,007 It was '71. 893 00:52:47,382 --> 00:52:50,590 My friend and I drove from Vienna to Prague. 894 00:52:52,548 --> 00:52:55,423 I walked around a bit and I felt good. 895 00:52:55,590 --> 00:52:59,632 I had a publisher there, so I figured I may as well meet him. 896 00:52:59,798 --> 00:53:01,965 Next day, I go and introduce myself. 897 00:53:02,132 --> 00:53:03,632 And the director 898 00:53:03,798 --> 00:53:06,632 gathers all his staff around me 899 00:53:06,798 --> 00:53:09,090 to toast me with slivovitz. 900 00:53:09,257 --> 00:53:11,173 They were already plastered. 901 00:53:11,340 --> 00:53:14,257 Then an employee comes and whispers to me: 902 00:53:14,423 --> 00:53:16,132 "Our director is a swine! 903 00:53:16,298 --> 00:53:18,715 He'll go rat on us to the regime." 904 00:53:18,965 --> 00:53:21,882 I found that extraordinary and I felt even better. 905 00:53:22,048 --> 00:53:23,923 A thousand stories later, 906 00:53:24,382 --> 00:53:28,090 I got corralled on the street by the police. 907 00:53:28,257 --> 00:53:29,632 This was in '75. 908 00:53:29,798 --> 00:53:32,257 By then, I was used to cops tailing me, 909 00:53:32,423 --> 00:53:34,757 especially when visiting writer friends. 910 00:53:35,132 --> 00:53:36,798 But it was the spring, 911 00:53:36,965 --> 00:53:40,923 two police approached me in the street and asked for ID. 912 00:53:42,298 --> 00:53:45,590 I showed them my passport, visa, hotel form 913 00:53:45,757 --> 00:53:48,673 and they declared I must go to precinct. 914 00:53:49,132 --> 00:53:51,382 Then I saw a trolley stop 915 00:53:51,715 --> 00:53:53,048 a few feet away. 916 00:53:53,465 --> 00:53:54,965 I start shouting: 917 00:53:55,548 --> 00:53:59,382 "I'm being harassed by the police! 918 00:53:59,548 --> 00:54:03,507 I demand to be taken to the American Embassy." 919 00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:06,257 The cop repeats: "Come to station." 920 00:54:06,423 --> 00:54:09,382 He spoke in Czech but I got the fucking drift. 921 00:54:09,548 --> 00:54:11,673 I refused to move, I kept shouting. 922 00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:13,340 It went on for 15 minutes. 923 00:54:13,507 --> 00:54:14,882 "No! No! No!" 924 00:54:15,215 --> 00:54:17,340 The uniformed cop went up the street 925 00:54:17,507 --> 00:54:20,423 to ask a plainclothes cop there. 926 00:54:20,590 --> 00:54:23,923 Just then, a trolley stops at the station. 927 00:54:24,090 --> 00:54:27,715 I think: "Why wait to get arrested? I'm stupid!" 928 00:54:27,965 --> 00:54:29,548 I jump on the trolley. 929 00:54:29,965 --> 00:54:33,757 My heart's pounding, I'm covered in sweat. 930 00:54:33,965 --> 00:54:36,465 I change trolleys, run down streets. 931 00:54:36,632 --> 00:54:38,798 I get back to my hotel, shaking. 932 00:54:39,382 --> 00:54:41,423 I call my Czech friend. 933 00:54:41,757 --> 00:54:45,298 And my friend bursts out laughing. He says: 934 00:54:45,465 --> 00:54:49,673 "The police only want to harass you. They scared you." 935 00:54:52,673 --> 00:54:55,298 Never again did I get a visa for Czechoslovakia. 936 00:54:56,132 --> 00:54:57,923 The evening I left, 937 00:54:58,423 --> 00:55:02,548 they arrested my friend, interrogated him all night long. 938 00:55:03,257 --> 00:55:06,507 "Why does this writer keep coming to Czechoslovakia?" 939 00:55:06,673 --> 00:55:07,757 Answer, you dickwad! 940 00:55:07,923 --> 00:55:09,757 Why does he come to Prague? 941 00:55:09,923 --> 00:55:12,215 Haven't you read his books? 942 00:55:13,173 --> 00:55:15,465 He comes to Czechoslovakia 943 00:55:15,757 --> 00:55:17,590 for the girls! 944 00:55:19,382 --> 00:55:20,423 For the girls. 945 00:55:22,090 --> 00:55:23,215 Was that true? 946 00:55:23,382 --> 00:55:25,840 No, Czech jokes attracted me. 947 00:55:26,007 --> 00:55:28,298 In England, it's the girls I'm into. 948 00:55:37,173 --> 00:55:39,673 I feel like I don't have a cunt today. 949 00:55:40,090 --> 00:55:42,215 I left it at home. Don't bring it up. 950 00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:44,048 Okay. 951 00:55:45,507 --> 00:55:47,840 - You want me to go? - Hardly. 952 00:55:50,090 --> 00:55:51,882 Are you near tears again? 953 00:55:52,715 --> 00:55:54,340 Yes, I feel teary. 954 00:55:55,673 --> 00:55:56,923 Can I eat something? 955 00:55:58,340 --> 00:56:02,173 I have strawberries, melons, wine, some bread. 956 00:56:02,382 --> 00:56:03,798 Even marijuana. 957 00:56:04,923 --> 00:56:06,590 A little of each, please? 958 00:56:06,757 --> 00:56:08,007 Of course! 959 00:56:24,678 --> 00:56:27,344 Imagine I die and, going through my notes, 960 00:56:27,761 --> 00:56:30,803 a biographer comes across your name. He asks you: 961 00:56:31,178 --> 00:56:32,594 Did you know him? 962 00:56:33,178 --> 00:56:35,011 Would you talk to him? 963 00:56:36,261 --> 00:56:38,219 It depends how... 964 00:56:38,636 --> 00:56:40,636 how intelligent he is. 965 00:56:40,803 --> 00:56:44,469 And if he's someone really serious. 966 00:56:45,386 --> 00:56:48,136 He liked you a lot, I can tell you that. 967 00:56:48,344 --> 00:56:50,553 Can you tell me something about him? 968 00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:51,969 Why are you doing this? 969 00:56:52,261 --> 00:56:54,511 I'm curious. What would you say? 970 00:56:54,803 --> 00:56:56,219 He wrote none of his books. 971 00:56:56,386 --> 00:56:58,678 A series of mistresses wrote them. 972 00:56:58,886 --> 00:57:00,678 I wrote the last two. 973 00:57:00,844 --> 00:57:05,178 Look, Miss, you're very sweet and very pretty. 974 00:57:05,344 --> 00:57:07,636 But you're not telling me the truth. 975 00:57:08,428 --> 00:57:12,011 What kind of affair did you have with him? 976 00:57:12,386 --> 00:57:13,719 Very occasional. 977 00:57:14,178 --> 00:57:16,219 - Was he in love with you? - No. 978 00:57:16,386 --> 00:57:18,678 He'd want to know what you were like. 979 00:57:18,844 --> 00:57:20,886 Or what I thought you were like. 980 00:57:21,219 --> 00:57:22,636 I'd be wonderful on that. 981 00:57:22,803 --> 00:57:23,803 Would you? 982 00:57:24,719 --> 00:57:26,428 So what's the answer? 983 00:57:27,011 --> 00:57:28,636 There's no short answer. 984 00:57:28,969 --> 00:57:32,386 You were about to tell me what kind of man he was. 985 00:57:32,761 --> 00:57:33,844 I won't tell you. 986 00:57:34,219 --> 00:57:37,303 Even if I did, you wouldn't put it in the book. 987 00:57:37,469 --> 00:57:39,094 What was he like to you? 988 00:57:39,261 --> 00:57:40,678 He was... 989 00:57:42,719 --> 00:57:43,832 very nice. 990 00:57:48,469 --> 00:57:49,928 Can we stop? 991 00:57:50,553 --> 00:57:52,261 No, not yet. 992 00:57:53,594 --> 00:57:56,428 Did you go to the funeral? 993 00:57:58,094 --> 00:58:02,511 Thank God, it was in the morning. My beloved husband gets home late. 994 00:58:03,011 --> 00:58:06,178 So as not to be alone, I took my child to the park. 995 00:58:07,469 --> 00:58:09,094 Had I gone to the cemetery, 996 00:58:09,386 --> 00:58:11,969 I couldn't have shared it with anyone. 997 00:58:12,636 --> 00:58:14,469 There, it would have been 998 00:58:14,886 --> 00:58:17,511 his family, his friends, his wife. 999 00:58:19,261 --> 00:58:22,053 A Jewish funeral which I don't think 1000 00:58:22,219 --> 00:58:23,511 he really wanted. 1001 00:58:23,678 --> 00:58:25,053 Can we stop now? 1002 00:58:25,344 --> 00:58:27,219 You're on fire, go on! 1003 00:58:27,386 --> 00:58:29,928 What did he love so about you? 1004 00:58:30,094 --> 00:58:32,386 Drop the "so" and I'll answer. 1005 00:58:33,136 --> 00:58:34,553 Okay, dropped. 1006 00:58:35,928 --> 00:58:39,469 I was young, I was needy, I was there. 1007 00:58:40,053 --> 00:58:42,094 Not very different from his wives, 1008 00:58:42,761 --> 00:58:44,136 but I was English. 1009 00:58:44,469 --> 00:58:45,678 And that... 1010 00:58:45,969 --> 00:58:48,386 made me a little foreign to him. 1011 00:58:49,428 --> 00:58:51,136 He liked the way I spoke. 1012 00:58:51,303 --> 00:58:53,719 Since his death, are you better? 1013 00:59:01,178 --> 00:59:02,553 Come, come... 1014 00:59:12,261 --> 00:59:13,761 Just fair... 1015 00:59:19,761 --> 00:59:23,219 My life began again for good, the day. 1016 00:59:23,844 --> 00:59:26,136 I gave up on him. 1017 00:59:29,011 --> 00:59:30,803 I felt much better. 1018 00:59:31,678 --> 00:59:33,553 But living this... 1019 00:59:34,469 --> 00:59:37,011 reliving this, in front of you, 1020 00:59:37,178 --> 00:59:39,553 in such a cold way, 1021 00:59:40,178 --> 00:59:41,678 fills me with sorrow. 1022 00:59:43,094 --> 00:59:45,053 For me, those times... 1023 00:59:45,969 --> 00:59:47,136 were tremendous. 1024 00:59:47,969 --> 00:59:50,094 Marvelous. I love you. 1025 00:59:51,844 --> 00:59:53,219 You should be the writer. 1026 00:59:53,386 --> 00:59:54,428 No. 1027 00:59:57,178 --> 00:59:59,761 I know what I'm in for. You have no scruples. 1028 01:00:23,636 --> 01:00:25,011 You're a friend? 1029 01:00:25,886 --> 01:00:28,136 Great. Have a nice day. 1030 01:00:39,553 --> 01:00:41,136 I dozed off. 1031 01:00:41,303 --> 01:00:42,303 Yes. 1032 01:00:48,678 --> 01:00:50,303 I dreamt about you. 1033 01:00:52,511 --> 01:00:55,469 It was the most wonderful dream. 1034 01:00:56,428 --> 01:00:58,886 The essence of you, my dear. 1035 01:00:59,469 --> 01:01:01,261 Can you speak louder? 1036 01:01:02,344 --> 01:01:04,719 I dreamt about you. 1037 01:01:07,969 --> 01:01:10,261 It's hard to say these things. 1038 01:01:10,428 --> 01:01:13,011 That's why your voice is so soft. 1039 01:01:13,636 --> 01:01:16,428 What happened to us in your dream? 1040 01:01:17,511 --> 01:01:19,344 Like in days of yore? 1041 01:01:19,761 --> 01:01:20,761 Better. 1042 01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:22,803 Must have been some dream. 1043 01:01:24,261 --> 01:01:25,386 Yes. 1044 01:01:26,386 --> 01:01:28,303 I was very in love with you. 1045 01:01:28,803 --> 01:01:30,719 - Are you sure? - Yes! 1046 01:01:34,136 --> 01:01:35,469 I must say... 1047 01:01:37,136 --> 01:01:38,803 that helps. 1048 01:01:41,219 --> 01:01:43,636 It's wonderful seeing you. 1049 01:01:48,261 --> 01:01:52,761 I wish you'd had the same lovely dream I did. 1050 01:01:53,178 --> 01:01:54,511 Write it out. 1051 01:01:55,094 --> 01:01:57,969 That way I can stick it in the book about you. 1052 01:01:58,678 --> 01:02:00,053 Don't be silly! 1053 01:02:00,511 --> 01:02:02,844 I'm not laying myself on the line. 1054 01:02:08,553 --> 01:02:10,219 You seem shaky. 1055 01:02:11,178 --> 01:02:13,594 I had chemo this morning. 1056 01:02:14,678 --> 01:02:17,261 Then I have that god-awful operation. 1057 01:02:17,678 --> 01:02:20,053 The after-effects are pretty grim. 1058 01:02:21,344 --> 01:02:23,094 Why does it get worse? 1059 01:02:23,594 --> 01:02:26,761 Because the poison is here, on the inside. 1060 01:02:29,678 --> 01:02:31,636 When do you get out? 1061 01:02:32,386 --> 01:02:33,678 Tomorrow morning. 1062 01:02:33,844 --> 01:02:36,594 They just throw you out, I swear. 1063 01:02:37,344 --> 01:02:39,303 Then I go home... 1064 01:02:39,761 --> 01:02:41,803 and sleep 14 hours straight. 1065 01:02:43,928 --> 01:02:45,344 You're pale... 1066 01:02:45,803 --> 01:02:47,344 and you're thin. 1067 01:02:48,219 --> 01:02:49,553 You are. 1068 01:02:50,178 --> 01:02:51,428 I wish I were thin. 1069 01:02:51,761 --> 01:02:53,969 I look bursting with health. 1070 01:02:54,136 --> 01:02:57,761 I lose my hair, but otherwise I look great. 1071 01:03:00,011 --> 01:03:02,886 You lose your hair. You'll wear a wig. 1072 01:03:03,136 --> 01:03:04,844 No... never. 1073 01:03:05,178 --> 01:03:07,928 I prefer these hideous babushkas. 1074 01:03:09,803 --> 01:03:11,469 Your hair will grow back. 1075 01:03:12,886 --> 01:03:13,886 Yes? 1076 01:03:15,094 --> 01:03:17,428 - It needs help. - You look good. 1077 01:03:17,594 --> 01:03:20,428 That must mean something. 1078 01:03:25,344 --> 01:03:26,344 Yes. 1079 01:03:26,511 --> 01:03:28,428 That I won't die immediately. 1080 01:03:29,386 --> 01:03:32,261 No but... the worst nightmare is that... 1081 01:03:33,344 --> 01:03:36,636 a surprise awaits the doctors when they open me up. 1082 01:03:36,844 --> 01:03:39,386 That they'll see I'm full of tumors. 1083 01:03:39,553 --> 01:03:42,303 - Is that possible? - I don't think so. 1084 01:03:42,844 --> 01:03:44,803 I don't think I should die. 1085 01:03:44,969 --> 01:03:46,303 You won't. 1086 01:03:50,469 --> 01:03:52,303 You said that in my dream! 1087 01:03:53,551 --> 01:03:54,553 See? 1088 01:03:54,719 --> 01:03:57,344 I can't be wrong twice in 24 hours. 1089 01:03:58,178 --> 01:04:00,678 - Say that again. - I can't be wrong. 1090 01:04:01,969 --> 01:04:02,969 Again! 1091 01:04:03,094 --> 01:04:04,803 You're not going to die. 1092 01:04:07,469 --> 01:04:08,719 One last time. 1093 01:04:11,469 --> 01:04:14,303 You're not going to die. You're going to live! 1094 01:04:17,428 --> 01:04:18,678 Thank you. 1095 01:04:32,011 --> 01:04:33,178 How are you? 1096 01:04:34,678 --> 01:04:35,719 Not bad. 1097 01:04:37,261 --> 01:04:40,136 What's become of the star of my seminar? 1098 01:04:41,594 --> 01:04:45,344 I can't seem to communicate to people. 1099 01:04:45,511 --> 01:04:46,511 There. 1100 01:04:47,136 --> 01:04:48,553 That's how I am. 1101 01:04:49,136 --> 01:04:50,469 - You? - Yes. 1102 01:04:51,928 --> 01:04:55,553 It's frightening. I can't seem to remember the past. 1103 01:04:55,761 --> 01:04:57,633 I remember you very vaguely. 1104 01:04:57,634 --> 01:04:58,754 Sorry. 1105 01:04:59,053 --> 01:05:00,053 It's because. 1106 01:05:00,469 --> 01:05:03,928 I had shock therapy. It made it worse. 1107 01:05:04,094 --> 01:05:05,136 What therapy? 1108 01:05:05,303 --> 01:05:07,886 It was actually pretty pleasant. 1109 01:05:08,969 --> 01:05:11,094 They give you sodium pentothal. 1110 01:05:11,511 --> 01:05:15,719 You're out. When you come around, you're groggy. 1111 01:05:16,594 --> 01:05:19,178 They didn't do much, twice a week. 1112 01:05:19,761 --> 01:05:21,053 I wasn't frightened. 1113 01:05:21,678 --> 01:05:23,719 I'm waiting for something... 1114 01:05:24,136 --> 01:05:25,969 an energy, to come back. 1115 01:05:31,719 --> 01:05:34,303 Actually, I feel... nothing. 1116 01:05:34,928 --> 01:05:37,636 When I speak to people, it's kind of... 1117 01:05:38,136 --> 01:05:39,428 a downer. 1118 01:05:39,761 --> 01:05:42,094 I need to make a huge effort. 1119 01:05:42,428 --> 01:05:44,428 Like right now with you. 1120 01:05:45,219 --> 01:05:46,344 Excuse me. 1121 01:05:49,261 --> 01:05:51,469 Philip, can I have an ashtray? 1122 01:05:59,803 --> 01:06:01,011 Are you on meds? 1123 01:06:01,178 --> 01:06:04,053 I was depressed. They gave me a combination. 1124 01:06:04,344 --> 01:06:05,511 I don't like that. 1125 01:06:05,678 --> 01:06:07,178 They said that... 1126 01:06:09,761 --> 01:06:12,844 the pills were all compatible, but with me... 1127 01:06:13,094 --> 01:06:14,511 no such luck. 1128 01:06:15,094 --> 01:06:16,636 Very bad reaction. 1129 01:06:17,469 --> 01:06:19,261 I became extremely paranoid. 1130 01:06:19,428 --> 01:06:21,428 So, re-hospitalized! 1131 01:06:22,386 --> 01:06:25,594 I thought the exam room was a torture chamber. 1132 01:06:26,053 --> 01:06:29,469 I remember they came into my room with a paper. 1133 01:06:29,636 --> 01:06:32,678 And they said: "Will you please 1134 01:06:33,011 --> 01:06:35,886 sign this paper saying you killed your mother?" 1135 01:06:36,678 --> 01:06:38,178 I threw fits. 1136 01:06:39,844 --> 01:06:41,636 How can you ask me to sign that? 1137 01:06:41,803 --> 01:06:43,219 How dare you? 1138 01:06:44,136 --> 01:06:45,553 It was in September. 1139 01:06:46,303 --> 01:06:47,928 It was a hallucination. 1140 01:06:51,469 --> 01:06:54,553 Now I'm on an antipsychotic to prevent it. 1141 01:06:55,678 --> 01:06:57,761 A small dose, but still... 1142 01:06:58,219 --> 01:07:00,261 What demolished you like this? 1143 01:07:00,844 --> 01:07:02,761 You were fine when I knew you. 1144 01:07:03,886 --> 01:07:05,803 Intellectually stubborn, 1145 01:07:05,969 --> 01:07:07,219 very shrewd. 1146 01:07:07,636 --> 01:07:11,178 Great flair in those black outfits, very Hamlet. 1147 01:07:11,469 --> 01:07:13,094 Your student pallor. 1148 01:07:13,386 --> 01:07:15,844 Does this now describe your burden? 1149 01:07:16,011 --> 01:07:18,053 That's what you said 5 years ago. 1150 01:07:19,553 --> 01:07:22,428 When you took me to that restaurant on 3rd Avenue. 1151 01:07:23,011 --> 01:07:25,511 I remember the dinner, not what we said. 1152 01:07:26,136 --> 01:07:29,303 You wished me luck, said I'd need it. 1153 01:07:29,553 --> 01:07:30,678 Why? 1154 01:07:33,386 --> 01:07:36,553 Because some people might find me irresistible! 1155 01:07:40,219 --> 01:07:43,803 I was so on edge, it was one of the few things I heard. 1156 01:07:44,136 --> 01:07:45,428 That I remember! 1157 01:07:45,886 --> 01:07:47,928 I wasn't very calm myself. 1158 01:07:48,136 --> 01:07:50,344 I couldn't have known. You were my teacher. 1159 01:07:50,511 --> 01:07:53,594 That's why I wasn't too calm. 1160 01:07:58,803 --> 01:08:02,678 You'd slink into class with that disheveled hair. 1161 01:08:03,761 --> 01:08:07,053 I remember all those egg-heads reading Kafka, 1162 01:08:07,219 --> 01:08:09,928 explaining howThe Metamorphosis and The Trial 1163 01:08:10,094 --> 01:08:12,928 derived from his relation to his father. 1164 01:08:13,636 --> 01:08:14,761 And you... 1165 01:08:15,344 --> 01:08:17,386 you said wearily "No..." 1166 01:08:17,553 --> 01:08:19,303 It was the opposite. 1167 01:08:20,011 --> 01:08:22,803 The source of his relationship to his father 1168 01:08:22,969 --> 01:08:25,011 is The Metamorphosis and The Trial. 1169 01:08:25,178 --> 01:08:27,178 Then you threw your haymaker. 1170 01:08:27,344 --> 01:08:29,636 "By the time a writer is 36, 1171 01:08:29,803 --> 01:08:32,261 he stops translating experience into fiction, 1172 01:08:32,428 --> 01:08:34,886 he imposes his fiction on experience." 1173 01:08:35,428 --> 01:08:36,594 At nineteen, 1174 01:08:37,719 --> 01:08:39,094 you were already somebody. 1175 01:08:40,303 --> 01:08:42,094 I was already crazy? 1176 01:08:42,678 --> 01:08:43,678 Not at all. 1177 01:08:43,844 --> 01:08:45,636 Maybe you were crazy too. 1178 01:08:46,053 --> 01:08:48,844 After one of my classes, you wrote me a note: 1179 01:08:49,011 --> 01:08:51,761 "I pray for only one thing, every night: 1180 01:08:51,928 --> 01:08:53,636 to be a good writer." 1181 01:08:54,928 --> 01:08:56,428 A good writer... 1182 01:08:58,344 --> 01:09:00,219 Tell me again what happened. 1183 01:09:01,011 --> 01:09:04,636 Make me understand the shock treatments, the hospitals. 1184 01:09:06,719 --> 01:09:08,636 The old, old story. 1185 01:09:08,969 --> 01:09:10,969 I was attracted to... 1186 01:09:11,344 --> 01:09:13,886 hypnotic womanizers. 1187 01:09:14,386 --> 01:09:16,011 And I went bonkers. 1188 01:09:16,428 --> 01:09:17,844 It was my punishment. 1189 01:09:18,011 --> 01:09:19,386 Is that an accusation? 1190 01:09:19,553 --> 01:09:20,844 No, no. 1191 01:09:21,928 --> 01:09:24,969 No, with you it was fresh. 1192 01:09:25,761 --> 01:09:27,844 Tender, so intimate. 1193 01:09:29,928 --> 01:09:31,261 It was inebriating. 1194 01:09:31,428 --> 01:09:34,053 You never had affairs that weren't... 1195 01:09:34,803 --> 01:09:36,094 so fraught? 1196 01:09:36,594 --> 01:09:37,761 Just pleasant? 1197 01:09:39,928 --> 01:09:40,928 Lots! 1198 01:09:41,178 --> 01:09:42,386 What happened? 1199 01:09:42,761 --> 01:09:44,011 What happened... 1200 01:09:45,178 --> 01:09:47,261 what happened was I got bored. 1201 01:09:49,322 --> 01:09:53,405 The trial. 1202 01:09:57,655 --> 01:10:00,447 Can you explain to the court why you hate women? 1203 01:10:00,613 --> 01:10:01,655 I don't hate them. 1204 01:10:01,822 --> 01:10:03,280 If you don't, 1205 01:10:03,447 --> 01:10:06,613 then why defame and denigrate them in your books? 1206 01:10:06,780 --> 01:10:10,238 Why abuse them in your work and in your life? 1207 01:10:10,905 --> 01:10:14,030 Neither in my work nor my life do I abuse them. 1208 01:10:14,322 --> 01:10:17,113 We've heard testimony from expert witnesses. 1209 01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:18,947 You argue before the court 1210 01:10:19,113 --> 01:10:23,072 that these experts with unimpeachable professional standards 1211 01:10:23,238 --> 01:10:24,738 are either mistaken 1212 01:10:24,905 --> 01:10:26,197 or lying? 1213 01:10:26,697 --> 01:10:28,113 May I ask something? 1214 01:10:32,655 --> 01:10:36,113 What have you ever done that's useful to women? 1215 01:10:37,447 --> 01:10:38,947 Why do you interpret 1216 01:10:39,113 --> 01:10:41,863 one woman's depiction as that of all woman? 1217 01:10:42,030 --> 01:10:44,322 You're not allowed to ask questions, 1218 01:10:44,488 --> 01:10:45,905 only to answer them. 1219 01:10:46,780 --> 01:10:48,572 You are charged with sexism, 1220 01:10:49,280 --> 01:10:50,780 misogyny, 1221 01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:52,905 woman abuse, 1222 01:10:53,072 --> 01:10:54,530 slander of women, 1223 01:10:55,405 --> 01:10:57,155 and ruthless seduction. 1224 01:10:57,854 --> 01:10:58,863 Sir? 1225 01:10:59,030 --> 01:11:00,030 Yes? 1226 01:11:00,197 --> 01:11:03,738 Why did you publish books that cause women suffering? 1227 01:11:03,905 --> 01:11:07,155 You never thought they'd be fodder for our enemies? 1228 01:11:08,072 --> 01:11:10,113 I can only reply 1229 01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:14,488 that the objectives of this self-styled equal-rights democracy 1230 01:11:14,655 --> 01:11:17,530 of which you're fond are not mine 1231 01:11:17,697 --> 01:11:19,072 as a writer! 1232 01:11:19,447 --> 01:11:22,280 We have no desire to hear you talk literature. 1233 01:11:22,655 --> 01:11:25,405 In your books, all women are stereotypes. 1234 01:11:25,572 --> 01:11:27,072 They're vicious perverts. 1235 01:11:27,488 --> 01:11:29,238 Why portray Mrs Tarnopol 1236 01:11:29,405 --> 01:11:31,613 is that how you pronounce it? 1237 01:11:32,613 --> 01:11:34,988 As hysterical and psychopathic? 1238 01:11:35,155 --> 01:11:37,363 Why depict women as shrews? 1239 01:11:37,530 --> 01:11:39,155 Why did Shakespeare do it? 1240 01:11:41,113 --> 01:11:44,822 You make it seem as if every woman must be extolled. 1241 01:11:45,405 --> 01:11:48,072 You compare yourself to Shakespeare! 1242 01:11:48,822 --> 01:11:51,030 Let's delve into your background. 1243 01:11:52,322 --> 01:11:54,822 You were a university professor, right? 1244 01:11:54,988 --> 01:11:56,197 That's right. 1245 01:11:57,363 --> 01:12:01,072 As such, did you engage in sexual practices with students? 1246 01:12:01,238 --> 01:12:02,447 Humiliating too? 1247 01:12:03,405 --> 01:12:04,655 Not for you? 1248 01:12:04,822 --> 01:12:06,822 They were honored to be chosen? 1249 01:12:09,363 --> 01:12:11,197 How often did you force them 1250 01:12:11,363 --> 01:12:14,363 to copulate with a teacher acting in loco parentis? 1251 01:12:15,322 --> 01:12:18,447 There was no need to exert force, trust me. 1252 01:12:18,780 --> 01:12:22,572 How many students did you influence and exploit? 1253 01:12:22,914 --> 01:12:23,947 Three! 1254 01:12:24,113 --> 01:12:27,322 Over the years I've had love affairs with three! 1255 01:12:31,822 --> 01:12:34,905 After patronizing us with a lecture on literature, 1256 01:12:35,072 --> 01:12:37,697 we must now bear another one on love? 1257 01:12:39,988 --> 01:12:41,238 From you? 1258 01:12:41,488 --> 01:12:44,030 - You practiced adultery? - I still do! 1259 01:12:44,197 --> 01:12:45,572 With wives of friends? 1260 01:12:45,738 --> 01:12:48,947 More often with wives of strangers, like you. 1261 01:12:49,113 --> 01:12:50,863 Who gave more sadistic delight? 1262 01:12:51,030 --> 01:12:53,947 Friends whose wives you ruthlessly seduced? 1263 01:12:54,113 --> 01:12:56,447 - Or strangers? - You're beautiful! 1264 01:12:56,947 --> 01:12:58,822 He's exploiting me in court! 1265 01:12:58,988 --> 01:13:00,572 No, you're delightful! 1266 01:13:00,905 --> 01:13:02,072 Brilliant! 1267 01:13:02,613 --> 01:13:03,780 I'm no "girl"! 1268 01:13:03,947 --> 01:13:05,488 This is fucking, baby. 1269 01:13:05,780 --> 01:13:08,030 This is pure pornography! 1270 01:13:08,197 --> 01:13:11,030 I'm fucking you in a court of law! 1271 01:13:12,738 --> 01:13:14,697 Follow me, ladies! 1272 01:13:14,947 --> 01:13:19,030 Spring. 1273 01:13:20,155 --> 01:13:22,155 When are you due at work? 1274 01:13:24,613 --> 01:13:26,072 In the afternoon. 1275 01:13:27,197 --> 01:13:29,822 I probably shouldn't come to you anyway. 1276 01:13:31,613 --> 01:13:34,113 I've been capricious. 1277 01:13:35,655 --> 01:13:38,113 I think you wanted to try something. 1278 01:13:38,447 --> 01:13:39,655 You tried it. 1279 01:13:39,822 --> 01:13:41,613 For me, you're not capricious. 1280 01:13:43,197 --> 01:13:44,988 I don't want to talk about it. 1281 01:13:46,488 --> 01:13:48,572 Then maybe... 1282 01:13:48,780 --> 01:13:50,988 it's best you don't come. 1283 01:13:55,655 --> 01:13:57,072 I'd love to see you. 1284 01:13:57,447 --> 01:13:59,363 I'm dying to see you. 1285 01:13:59,530 --> 01:14:01,613 You've really unsettled me. 1286 01:14:02,780 --> 01:14:04,863 Sorry if I've been a pain. 1287 01:14:05,030 --> 01:14:06,905 Don't be silly. 1288 01:14:08,613 --> 01:14:09,905 Did you miss me? 1289 01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:12,030 Of course I've missed you! 1290 01:14:12,238 --> 01:14:13,947 Terribly, this afternoon. 1291 01:14:14,530 --> 01:14:15,697 In fact. 1292 01:14:17,780 --> 01:14:19,030 What do you miss? 1293 01:14:19,197 --> 01:14:20,447 - Want to know? - No! 1294 01:14:20,613 --> 01:14:22,238 No dirty talk, please. 1295 01:14:25,780 --> 01:14:26,905 All right. 1296 01:14:38,655 --> 01:14:39,822 Here I am. 1297 01:14:48,905 --> 01:14:51,780 - I'm heavier? - Not quite the matron yet. 1298 01:14:53,447 --> 01:14:55,780 I don't worry about anything anymore. 1299 01:14:56,405 --> 01:14:58,905 - I'm not anxious anymore. - Since I disappeared. 1300 01:14:59,363 --> 01:15:00,780 I don't know since when. 1301 01:15:02,905 --> 01:15:05,322 So how are things on the home front? 1302 01:15:05,738 --> 01:15:07,197 How does he like them? 1303 01:15:07,530 --> 01:15:09,405 Plump and pretty? 1304 01:15:10,155 --> 01:15:11,905 I like them the way you were. 1305 01:15:12,613 --> 01:15:14,697 Thin and neurotic. 1306 01:15:16,072 --> 01:15:17,863 Things are much better. 1307 01:15:18,030 --> 01:15:20,030 Since you've been gone, 1308 01:15:20,447 --> 01:15:24,947 what's happened is a shift in the balance of power. 1309 01:15:25,113 --> 01:15:26,322 In my favor. 1310 01:15:28,322 --> 01:15:30,322 He behaves much better to me. 1311 01:15:30,738 --> 01:15:31,822 Excellent. 1312 01:15:33,488 --> 01:15:34,822 Thank you, Doctor. 1313 01:15:51,697 --> 01:15:54,113 Seeing me is difficult for you. 1314 01:15:57,613 --> 01:15:59,197 I should have warned you. 1315 01:16:00,238 --> 01:16:01,655 I'd have come anyway. 1316 01:16:12,738 --> 01:16:15,030 My old father lives at the boiling point. 1317 01:16:16,947 --> 01:16:18,780 An opinion on everything, 1318 01:16:18,947 --> 01:16:20,988 and often it's not mine. 1319 01:16:25,238 --> 01:16:27,530 With my father, I must sometimes 1320 01:16:27,738 --> 01:16:30,780 suppress myself from acting like a 14-year-old. 1321 01:16:33,363 --> 01:16:34,436 Last summer, 1322 01:16:34,697 --> 01:16:39,155 he got riled up when my brother's son decided to marry a Puerto Rican. 1323 01:16:39,572 --> 01:16:41,613 Since he can't hide his feelings, 1324 01:16:41,780 --> 01:16:44,697 he got the kid all riled up too. 1325 01:16:46,322 --> 01:16:47,780 I got into my car, 1326 01:16:47,947 --> 01:16:50,155 drove from Connecticut to New Jersey. 1327 01:16:50,405 --> 01:16:53,655 When I got there, he started in on me. 1328 01:16:53,822 --> 01:16:55,197 I listened half an hour. 1329 01:16:55,488 --> 01:16:59,155 Then I decided to give him a little history lesson. 1330 01:16:59,405 --> 01:17:01,613 I said, Listen, dear father, 1331 01:17:02,030 --> 01:17:05,280 your father, at the turn of the century, had... 1332 01:17:05,530 --> 01:17:06,697 3 choices. 1333 01:17:08,030 --> 01:17:11,197 One: stay in Jewish Galicia with Grandma. 1334 01:17:11,363 --> 01:17:14,613 Had he stayed, what would have happened to him, 1335 01:17:14,780 --> 01:17:16,280 to her, me, you, Sandy? 1336 01:17:16,655 --> 01:17:18,238 Ashes! 1337 01:17:18,447 --> 01:17:20,697 Dad! Ashes! Everything up in smoke! 1338 01:17:20,863 --> 01:17:23,072 - Don't you agree? - Yes, but stop! 1339 01:17:23,238 --> 01:17:25,572 I'll continue my logic. Choice two. 1340 01:17:25,738 --> 01:17:28,488 Your father could have gone to Palestine! 1341 01:17:28,863 --> 01:17:31,947 Two. Your father could have gone to Palestine. 1342 01:17:32,155 --> 01:17:35,822 You and Sandy in 1948 would have fought the Arabs. 1343 01:17:36,238 --> 01:17:39,905 At least one of you would have lost a leg, foot, arm! 1344 01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:43,488 In 67, I'd have fought in the Six Day War. 1345 01:17:43,655 --> 01:17:46,322 At least some shrapnel in my head. 1346 01:17:46,488 --> 01:17:49,405 - Sure, sure. - I could have lost an eye! 1347 01:17:49,572 --> 01:17:51,530 Your grandkids: Lebanon, '82. 1348 01:17:51,697 --> 01:17:54,738 Let's assume only one gets killed. That's Palestine! 1349 01:17:54,905 --> 01:17:57,863 Choice 3: America. The one your father picked! 1350 01:17:58,363 --> 01:18:00,030 Third choice! 1351 01:18:00,280 --> 01:18:02,238 Go to America! 1352 01:18:02,405 --> 01:18:05,447 In America, what's the worst thing that can happen? 1353 01:18:05,613 --> 01:18:07,780 Grandson marries a Puerto Rican! 1354 01:18:08,197 --> 01:18:11,030 Stay in Poland and accept the consequences! 1355 01:18:11,197 --> 01:18:14,822 Go to Israel and accept the consequences of being an Israeli Jew! 1356 01:18:14,988 --> 01:18:17,488 Or else you live in America! So? 1357 01:18:17,780 --> 01:18:20,280 What do you prefer? 1358 01:18:21,697 --> 01:18:23,072 What did he say? 1359 01:18:23,238 --> 01:18:26,447 He said: "Okay, stop! You're right! You win!" 1360 01:18:28,280 --> 01:18:31,988 I was thrilled, for once I outfoxed him. 1361 01:18:32,155 --> 01:18:34,947 I said, Dad, know what's next? 1362 01:18:35,238 --> 01:18:37,238 I'll go see that girl's mother. 1363 01:18:37,405 --> 01:18:40,155 She must be torturing her rosary. 1364 01:18:40,322 --> 01:18:41,947 I'll say, You want to live... 1365 01:18:42,572 --> 01:18:44,988 You want to live in Puerto Rico? So, 1366 01:18:45,155 --> 01:18:47,280 your daughter marries a Puerto Rican. 1367 01:18:47,447 --> 01:18:50,488 But you all have to live in Puerto Rico! 1368 01:18:50,988 --> 01:18:53,280 Otherwise, you live in Brooklyn, 1369 01:18:53,447 --> 01:18:56,863 and worst-case scenario, your daughter marries a Jew. 1370 01:18:57,572 --> 01:18:59,530 My father starts up again! 1371 01:18:59,697 --> 01:19:01,822 "Worst-case scenario?" Meaning? 1372 01:19:01,988 --> 01:19:03,238 Why worst case? 1373 01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:06,613 She should be thrilled who her daughter's marrying. 1374 01:19:06,780 --> 01:19:09,738 She should be thrilled who her daughter's marrying! 1375 01:19:09,905 --> 01:19:12,113 Yes, almost as much as you. 1376 01:19:12,280 --> 01:19:13,405 Me? 1377 01:19:14,030 --> 01:19:16,280 So? How did it end? 1378 01:19:16,613 --> 01:19:19,822 The marriage took place at St. Patrick's 1379 01:19:19,988 --> 01:19:21,363 with a rabbi in attendance 1380 01:19:21,530 --> 01:19:24,238 in case they tried to slip us a fast one. 1381 01:19:24,405 --> 01:19:25,655 What a story! 1382 01:19:25,822 --> 01:19:28,822 Why do they all magnify these things? 1383 01:19:29,197 --> 01:19:32,072 Why do you all try to minimize them? 1384 01:19:32,447 --> 01:19:36,322 In England, when I'm in a public place, a restaurant, a party, 1385 01:19:36,488 --> 01:19:40,280 if someone uses the word "Jew" the voice drops a bit. 1386 01:19:41,988 --> 01:19:43,030 Really? 1387 01:19:43,197 --> 01:19:45,197 You all say "Jew" 1388 01:19:45,363 --> 01:19:48,697 the way most people say "shit". 1389 01:19:49,072 --> 01:19:50,155 Jew. 1390 01:19:51,613 --> 01:19:54,197 God, you really are your father's son. 1391 01:19:56,488 --> 01:19:58,697 Whose should I be instead? 1392 01:19:59,322 --> 01:20:00,572 Your mother's? 1393 01:20:40,405 --> 01:20:42,988 Everyone I keep meeting these days says: 1394 01:20:43,155 --> 01:20:44,780 "I remember you at Oxford. 1395 01:20:44,947 --> 01:20:48,280 You wore transparent blouses and no bra." 1396 01:20:49,697 --> 01:20:52,447 So you're an ex-extrovert. 1397 01:20:53,072 --> 01:20:54,988 Everyone criticized my blue hair, 1398 01:20:55,155 --> 01:20:57,572 and because I exposed my breasts. 1399 01:20:58,488 --> 01:21:02,113 I haven't seen them exposed around here for a while. 1400 01:21:02,363 --> 01:21:04,113 I don't like them anymore. 1401 01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:09,572 I listen to you. 1402 01:21:10,697 --> 01:21:11,822 A lot. 1403 01:21:13,363 --> 01:21:14,405 Too much. 1404 01:21:14,780 --> 01:21:15,947 Why? 1405 01:21:17,905 --> 01:21:19,072 What is it? 1406 01:21:20,822 --> 01:21:23,905 I'm thinking that I still love you. 1407 01:21:31,988 --> 01:21:33,155 Despite? 1408 01:21:33,947 --> 01:21:35,072 Despite. 1409 01:21:39,613 --> 01:21:41,363 No, no... 1410 01:21:41,988 --> 01:21:43,113 Stop. 1411 01:21:46,447 --> 01:21:48,447 It's beneath you to stay married 1412 01:21:48,613 --> 01:21:51,280 because you think you can't get another job 1413 01:21:51,447 --> 01:21:53,822 and this way you have a meal ticket. 1414 01:21:54,363 --> 01:21:56,947 A meal ticket is not beneath anyone. 1415 01:21:57,113 --> 01:21:58,863 Yes, it's beneath you. 1416 01:21:59,447 --> 01:22:03,030 If the marriage is over, why not leave? I don't get it! 1417 01:22:05,488 --> 01:22:06,738 I don't want to. 1418 01:22:07,655 --> 01:22:09,030 There's your dignity. 1419 01:22:10,655 --> 01:22:12,822 There's no dignity without income. 1420 01:22:14,655 --> 01:22:16,197 Clever, but wrong! 1421 01:22:16,363 --> 01:22:18,363 Just the opposite is true! 1422 01:22:18,572 --> 01:22:19,613 Look. 1423 01:22:20,697 --> 01:22:22,238 I'll write you a check. 1424 01:22:23,780 --> 01:22:25,238 It's terribly nice. 1425 01:22:25,447 --> 01:22:27,197 I honestly can't take it. 1426 01:22:27,697 --> 01:22:31,863 Why not just cash it? Put it in your bank, or hide it. 1427 01:22:32,030 --> 01:22:34,780 Just don't put it in your joint account. 1428 01:22:35,363 --> 01:22:36,613 Can I frame it? 1429 01:22:36,863 --> 01:22:37,905 No. 1430 01:22:38,238 --> 01:22:39,613 Just don't lose it. 1431 01:22:39,988 --> 01:22:41,697 Can I put it in my Bible? 1432 01:22:42,280 --> 01:22:45,405 No, put it in the bank for a rainy day. 1433 01:22:53,113 --> 01:22:55,447 Why not think before throwing it out? 1434 01:22:56,030 --> 01:22:57,155 Thanks very much. 1435 01:22:58,613 --> 01:23:00,405 It'd be best if you took it. 1436 01:23:17,870 --> 01:23:19,036 I'll miss you. 1437 01:23:22,620 --> 01:23:23,828 I'll miss you a lot. 1438 01:23:26,370 --> 01:23:27,911 I'll think of you too. 1439 01:23:29,703 --> 01:23:32,120 It's a real damn shame for both of us. 1440 01:23:56,411 --> 01:24:00,495 The spouse. 1441 01:24:17,453 --> 01:24:19,245 Tell me what's upsetting you. 1442 01:24:19,411 --> 01:24:23,411 I can't come home from my studio to dinners like these. 1443 01:24:23,578 --> 01:24:25,286 You don't speak. 1444 01:24:25,453 --> 01:24:26,911 You look awful. 1445 01:24:27,078 --> 01:24:28,328 I don't sleep. 1446 01:24:28,536 --> 01:24:30,828 - Why not? Tell me! - I don't know. 1447 01:24:31,453 --> 01:24:33,578 Something to do with me? 1448 01:24:34,786 --> 01:24:36,245 I want to know... 1449 01:24:36,495 --> 01:24:37,495 and I don't. 1450 01:24:37,620 --> 01:24:38,828 Here we go. 1451 01:24:43,286 --> 01:24:44,495 What's this about? 1452 01:24:45,953 --> 01:24:48,578 You don't go to your studio to work. 1453 01:24:48,870 --> 01:24:51,286 You go to your studio to fuck. 1454 01:24:51,703 --> 01:24:53,078 You're having an affair. 1455 01:24:54,078 --> 01:24:55,651 You think so? 1456 01:24:55,652 --> 01:24:56,660 Yes. 1457 01:24:56,661 --> 01:24:59,078 There are no women in my studio, alas. 1458 01:24:59,245 --> 01:25:01,911 Apart from the characters in my novel. 1459 01:25:02,078 --> 01:25:04,620 Not your novel, your notebook. 1460 01:25:05,453 --> 01:25:09,036 You forgot to put it in your briefcase, so I took it. 1461 01:25:10,203 --> 01:25:13,078 Stupidly. I knew I shouldn't open it. 1462 01:25:33,661 --> 01:25:36,370 You're all worked up for nothing. 1463 01:25:36,536 --> 01:25:38,453 Because you saw a few notes? 1464 01:25:38,828 --> 01:25:40,453 Not notes. They're... 1465 01:25:42,911 --> 01:25:45,078 conversations with that woman. 1466 01:25:45,245 --> 01:25:46,995 - She's imaginary! - She isn't! 1467 01:25:47,161 --> 01:25:48,870 - She is. - She's real. 1468 01:25:49,453 --> 01:25:51,911 She goes to your studio. 1469 01:25:52,870 --> 01:25:56,411 She's why... for months you've been so distracted. 1470 01:25:56,578 --> 01:25:59,786 When I speak, you can barely stay awake. 1471 01:25:59,953 --> 01:26:02,745 But the second she opens her mouth, 1472 01:26:02,995 --> 01:26:06,203 you can't help taking note of every word. 1473 01:26:06,578 --> 01:26:08,203 Which are all wonderful. 1474 01:26:12,078 --> 01:26:13,578 "An écouteur." 1475 01:26:14,120 --> 01:26:15,911 "And audiophiliac." 1476 01:26:16,078 --> 01:26:18,620 What a load of pretentious crap! 1477 01:26:18,786 --> 01:26:21,453 Maybe it's because of the book I'm writing 1478 01:26:21,620 --> 01:26:23,828 that I'm less interested... 1479 01:26:23,995 --> 01:26:25,165 Admit it! 1480 01:26:25,166 --> 01:26:26,202 To what? 1481 01:26:26,203 --> 01:26:28,286 That you never loved me so much. 1482 01:26:28,453 --> 01:26:30,536 Because she doesn't exist! 1483 01:26:30,703 --> 01:26:33,620 If you didn't exist, I'd love you like that too. 1484 01:26:34,995 --> 01:26:36,328 Incredible! 1485 01:26:36,495 --> 01:26:38,911 I can't believe we're arguing over this! 1486 01:26:39,411 --> 01:26:40,995 It's absurd! 1487 01:26:41,911 --> 01:26:43,411 And I suppose 1488 01:26:43,661 --> 01:26:47,161 talking to Rosalie Nichols was... 1489 01:26:47,370 --> 01:26:49,328 was imaginary too? 1490 01:26:50,620 --> 01:26:52,036 But it's true. 1491 01:26:52,453 --> 01:26:54,703 You told me you'd spoken to her. 1492 01:26:55,036 --> 01:26:59,245 For Rosalie Nichols, I wrote some of what we said 1493 01:26:59,411 --> 01:27:01,286 and more of what we didn't 1494 01:27:01,453 --> 01:27:03,870 and that I made up. 1495 01:27:04,161 --> 01:27:06,953 I made those things up! 1496 01:27:07,620 --> 01:27:09,661 You read about my Czech friend? 1497 01:27:09,828 --> 01:27:11,411 Yes, I read it all. 1498 01:27:11,578 --> 01:27:14,286 I stupidly sat down and read it all! 1499 01:27:14,995 --> 01:27:17,703 My Czech friend Ivan, as crazy as he is, 1500 01:27:17,870 --> 01:27:21,078 never accused me of sleeping with Olina! 1501 01:27:21,245 --> 01:27:22,911 It's so much better not to know. 1502 01:27:23,245 --> 01:27:25,911 No, I don't believe this melodrama. 1503 01:27:26,078 --> 01:27:27,911 You get all worked up! 1504 01:27:28,078 --> 01:27:29,411 You won't listen... 1505 01:27:29,745 --> 01:27:30,953 You dramatize everything. 1506 01:27:31,120 --> 01:27:33,370 It's you who dramatizes everything! 1507 01:27:33,578 --> 01:27:34,870 I won't explain myself. 1508 01:27:35,036 --> 01:27:38,995 Or remind you that people's voices hold an appeal for me. 1509 01:27:39,453 --> 01:27:41,286 This notebook is proof! 1510 01:27:41,578 --> 01:27:43,745 I have imagined 1511 01:27:43,911 --> 01:27:47,328 a love story. It's what I do all the time. 1512 01:27:47,536 --> 01:27:49,411 That notebook is a real woman. 1513 01:27:50,370 --> 01:27:53,370 That notebook is as if Tolstoy had... 1514 01:27:53,536 --> 01:27:56,203 imagined himself in love with Anna Karenina. 1515 01:27:56,370 --> 01:27:57,452 Or Hardy with... 1516 01:27:57,453 --> 01:27:59,578 I follow my leads where they take me! 1517 01:27:59,745 --> 01:28:02,911 Not by you or anyone will I be censored! 1518 01:28:03,078 --> 01:28:05,745 Stop the self-righteous shtick, don't shout. 1519 01:28:05,911 --> 01:28:07,995 I cannot be screamed at, okay? 1520 01:28:08,161 --> 01:28:09,995 You're trying to confuse me. 1521 01:28:10,786 --> 01:28:14,453 I'm trying to make you see things straight. 1522 01:28:14,828 --> 01:28:17,661 Yes, Olina did bed down with a Black guy. 1523 01:28:17,828 --> 01:28:19,745 And Ivan told me about it. 1524 01:28:19,911 --> 01:28:22,328 But he never accused me of betraying him. 1525 01:28:22,495 --> 01:28:24,370 That's not how I go about it. 1526 01:28:24,578 --> 01:28:27,620 When I write, I need to compromise myself! 1527 01:28:27,786 --> 01:28:29,745 That's what motivates me. 1528 01:28:30,036 --> 01:28:33,036 As is proved by this fucking argument! 1529 01:28:33,245 --> 01:28:35,411 And the little American loony? 1530 01:28:35,578 --> 01:28:37,703 Control yourself! Think! 1531 01:28:38,036 --> 01:28:39,536 She thinks. 1532 01:28:40,995 --> 01:28:43,120 So go think with her. 1533 01:28:43,661 --> 01:28:46,703 Okay, okay, let's get the notebook. 1534 01:28:46,870 --> 01:28:51,120 We'll sit down, I'll explain to you line after line 1535 01:28:51,286 --> 01:28:52,453 what I've been up to, 1536 01:28:52,620 --> 01:28:55,411 supposing I'm able to understand it! 1537 01:28:58,661 --> 01:29:01,536 I'm to believe this Englishwoman doesn't exist? 1538 01:29:01,953 --> 01:29:04,661 So how do you know the things about English life 1539 01:29:04,828 --> 01:29:07,370 that this imaginary woman tell you? 1540 01:29:07,536 --> 01:29:11,536 Hey, it's my business to seem to know more than I do. 1541 01:29:11,703 --> 01:29:13,411 But it's so intimate. 1542 01:29:14,328 --> 01:29:17,870 Intimacy is interesting. It's a subject! 1543 01:29:20,370 --> 01:29:22,911 Are you going to publish the notebook? 1544 01:29:23,078 --> 01:29:25,286 I don't know. It's occurred to me. 1545 01:29:25,453 --> 01:29:26,870 Publish it as is? 1546 01:29:27,203 --> 01:29:28,453 I said I didn't know. 1547 01:29:28,620 --> 01:29:31,411 Mightn't it be advisable to change your name? 1548 01:29:32,245 --> 01:29:35,370 Can "Philip, an ashtray" become "Nathan"? 1549 01:29:35,870 --> 01:29:38,578 No, Zuckerman is my character in novels. 1550 01:29:38,745 --> 01:29:40,828 This is different. The notebook is me. 1551 01:29:40,995 --> 01:29:42,536 You just said it's not you. 1552 01:29:42,703 --> 01:29:45,203 It's me imagining. It's about an imagination. 1553 01:29:45,370 --> 01:29:48,578 Once published, no one will say it's about an imagination. 1554 01:29:48,745 --> 01:29:50,911 They say my fiction is autobiography. 1555 01:29:51,286 --> 01:29:53,328 That my autobiography is fiction. 1556 01:29:53,495 --> 01:29:56,745 Since I'm so dumb and they're so smart, 1557 01:29:56,911 --> 01:29:59,078 let them decide what it is. 1558 01:29:59,245 --> 01:30:00,786 Sounds like a fun game. 1559 01:30:02,495 --> 01:30:04,078 What if it humiliates me? 1560 01:30:04,411 --> 01:30:06,120 It's a game! 1561 01:30:06,370 --> 01:30:08,453 It's an impersonation of myself! 1562 01:30:08,620 --> 01:30:11,828 I ventriloquize myself, it's homo ludens. 1563 01:30:11,995 --> 01:30:13,745 Who'd know that besides us? 1564 01:30:14,370 --> 01:30:18,286 I cannot and do not live in a world of discretion. 1565 01:30:18,453 --> 01:30:20,578 Shame is not for novelists! 1566 01:30:20,745 --> 01:30:24,120 All you have to do is make the wretched American say: 1567 01:30:24,328 --> 01:30:28,370 "Nathan, an ashtray" and not "Philip". That's all I ask. 1568 01:30:29,076 --> 01:30:30,077 No. 1569 01:30:30,078 --> 01:30:31,328 - Going? - Out! 1570 01:30:31,745 --> 01:30:34,370 Being told what to write drives me crazy! 1571 01:30:34,536 --> 01:30:36,745 Don't go out alone! I'll come along. 1572 01:30:36,911 --> 01:30:40,328 It's over. It's gone far enough. I can't be hounded. 1573 01:30:40,495 --> 01:30:44,161 I write what I write, I publish however I want. 1574 01:30:44,328 --> 01:30:47,245 - Fuck what people get wrong! - Or get right. 1575 01:30:47,411 --> 01:30:49,536 This is a notebook, not a human being! 1576 01:30:49,703 --> 01:30:53,453 You are a human being, like it or not. So am I, so is she! 1577 01:30:53,620 --> 01:30:55,120 No, she is just words. 1578 01:30:55,286 --> 01:30:58,286 Try as I will, I cannot fuck words! 1579 01:30:59,328 --> 01:31:00,453 I'm going out. 1580 01:31:00,870 --> 01:31:01,870 Alone. 1581 01:31:07,745 --> 01:31:11,828 Epilogue. 1582 01:31:34,745 --> 01:31:36,620 Good, right on time. 1583 01:31:38,495 --> 01:31:41,495 They're preparing a table for us, 1584 01:31:41,661 --> 01:31:43,161 it's not ready yet. 1585 01:31:47,370 --> 01:31:49,620 So... how... 1586 01:31:50,203 --> 01:31:51,911 - How are you? - How am I? 1587 01:31:52,078 --> 01:31:53,578 I'm very good. 1588 01:31:53,786 --> 01:31:55,995 And you? How are you? 1589 01:31:56,161 --> 01:31:59,370 I wanted to see you to ask these fascinating questions. 1590 01:31:59,953 --> 01:32:01,120 So how are you? 1591 01:32:01,286 --> 01:32:04,620 Well, I'm doing very well. 1592 01:32:04,786 --> 01:32:08,370 I've tried calling, but your number's not working. 1593 01:32:09,245 --> 01:32:11,286 What country were you calling? 1594 01:32:12,245 --> 01:32:14,620 - Your studio in England. - I've left. 1595 01:32:14,911 --> 01:32:16,453 I'm in America for good now. 1596 01:32:17,411 --> 01:32:18,411 Listen. 1597 01:32:20,161 --> 01:32:21,411 How are you? 1598 01:32:21,953 --> 01:32:23,828 - I'm really very well. - Great! 1599 01:32:25,578 --> 01:32:27,161 I've been thinking about you. 1600 01:32:28,161 --> 01:32:30,911 I read your book, hesitated about calling. 1601 01:32:31,370 --> 01:32:33,786 - I thought about it a lot. - So did I. 1602 01:32:34,120 --> 01:32:38,495 And I wondered if it had any effects 1603 01:32:39,036 --> 01:32:40,203 on your marriage. 1604 01:32:42,120 --> 01:32:43,578 He didn't read it. 1605 01:32:44,745 --> 01:32:46,203 Wonderful. Of course. 1606 01:32:46,370 --> 01:32:47,828 Your table is ready. 1607 01:32:58,411 --> 01:33:00,328 So what's new? 1608 01:33:00,661 --> 01:33:01,995 Tell me. 1609 01:33:02,161 --> 01:33:04,703 I'm fine, aren't I? 1610 01:33:04,995 --> 01:33:06,077 Yes. 1611 01:33:06,078 --> 01:33:07,786 I don't know where to start. 1612 01:33:08,245 --> 01:33:10,120 Did you hate me for not calling? 1613 01:33:10,286 --> 01:33:14,203 No, not at all. I just thought it was a decision. 1614 01:33:15,245 --> 01:33:17,953 I think that the last time we spoke, 1615 01:33:18,953 --> 01:33:21,328 neither of us was very happy. 1616 01:33:21,911 --> 01:33:25,120 I figured you had to go your own way. 1617 01:33:25,286 --> 01:33:28,203 And I suppose I had to go mine. 1618 01:33:28,703 --> 01:33:31,495 It was two years ago, we went our own ways. 1619 01:33:34,411 --> 01:33:35,411 Yes. 1620 01:33:35,620 --> 01:33:39,786 Well, I'm very glad you called because I missed you a lot. 1621 01:33:40,120 --> 01:33:42,661 You said you were stopping because... 1622 01:33:42,828 --> 01:33:44,411 the love affair was over. 1623 01:33:45,245 --> 01:33:49,161 No. You said you wanted to stop seeing me. 1624 01:33:49,495 --> 01:33:50,495 - Really? - Yes! 1625 01:33:50,661 --> 01:33:52,286 More than once. 1626 01:33:52,703 --> 01:33:54,078 I have a good memory. 1627 01:33:54,745 --> 01:33:55,828 Indeed. 1628 01:33:56,370 --> 01:33:57,661 I was astonished. 1629 01:33:58,245 --> 01:34:01,661 Two people told me: "I heard your voice in the book." 1630 01:34:01,953 --> 01:34:03,203 - Really? - Yes. 1631 01:34:03,370 --> 01:34:04,453 Who said that? 1632 01:34:05,495 --> 01:34:09,078 I have friends who read literature and listen to me. 1633 01:34:09,245 --> 01:34:11,203 You have a distinctive delivery. 1634 01:34:11,370 --> 01:34:13,703 I was in love with you for 20 reasons, 1635 01:34:13,870 --> 01:34:16,453 and that was the most beautiful one. 1636 01:34:17,453 --> 01:34:19,828 For me, it was... 1637 01:34:20,620 --> 01:34:22,953 a long, delightful, 1638 01:34:23,370 --> 01:34:26,286 finally very sad, important... 1639 01:34:26,703 --> 01:34:28,245 I'd say the same. 1640 01:34:28,578 --> 01:34:31,203 No one had ever been so appreciated. 1641 01:34:31,536 --> 01:34:33,495 I was nuts about you. 1642 01:34:34,911 --> 01:34:36,620 - Really? - You knew it. 1643 01:34:37,286 --> 01:34:38,620 Don't turn English. 1644 01:34:39,536 --> 01:34:40,745 Well... 1645 01:34:42,495 --> 01:34:44,036 I worried a lot about you. 1646 01:34:44,203 --> 01:34:45,328 Really? 1647 01:34:49,828 --> 01:34:51,953 Should I start with the song? 1648 01:34:52,453 --> 01:34:53,828 Do you remember 1649 01:34:54,620 --> 01:34:57,661 that afternoon 1650 01:34:58,161 --> 01:35:00,620 when we tick-tick 1651 01:35:00,786 --> 01:35:02,911 we would meet up 1652 01:35:03,120 --> 01:35:05,203 you and me... 1653 01:35:08,245 --> 01:35:09,370 Yes, yes. 1654 01:35:11,870 --> 01:35:14,370 By the way, I'm not young anymore. 1655 01:35:14,911 --> 01:35:16,786 When I met you I was still young. 1656 01:35:16,953 --> 01:35:20,286 But when you hit 35, it's suddenly all over. 1657 01:35:20,953 --> 01:35:24,203 Not all over, but... some of it is over. 1658 01:35:24,370 --> 01:35:25,995 The glow has gone? 1659 01:35:27,911 --> 01:35:30,411 That was probably gone at 16. 1660 01:35:32,245 --> 01:35:33,578 I'm turning 37. 1661 01:35:33,745 --> 01:35:34,745 Yes... 1662 01:35:35,286 --> 01:35:38,620 I'll throw a party in the museum dinosaur wing. 1663 01:35:38,786 --> 01:35:40,578 Great idea. Great location. 1664 01:35:40,745 --> 01:35:41,911 You're invited. 1665 01:35:42,286 --> 01:35:44,536 I don't know how to explain it, 1666 01:35:45,036 --> 01:35:48,578 I'm starting to think of myself quite differently. 1667 01:35:48,745 --> 01:35:51,745 When you stop acting the lively adolescent. 1668 01:35:52,995 --> 01:35:55,578 It's a difficult transition for women. 1669 01:35:55,745 --> 01:35:57,745 I didn't call you before 1670 01:35:57,995 --> 01:36:01,995 because I didn't want to disturb your life again. 1671 01:36:03,286 --> 01:36:04,578 You and your husband, 1672 01:36:05,161 --> 01:36:06,745 you still live together? 1673 01:36:07,078 --> 01:36:09,328 We go about things decently. 1674 01:36:10,745 --> 01:36:13,828 I keep wondering what the big problem is. 1675 01:36:14,786 --> 01:36:17,911 Obviously there are intractable problems. 1676 01:36:18,453 --> 01:36:20,453 Like loneliness. 1677 01:36:21,411 --> 01:36:23,078 I feel terribly lonely. 1678 01:36:23,620 --> 01:36:25,120 I get bored at work. 1679 01:36:25,911 --> 01:36:29,370 But besides the big problems, I think it's all fine. 1680 01:36:30,161 --> 01:36:31,578 Do you have a lover? 1681 01:36:31,995 --> 01:36:33,536 No, no... 1682 01:36:35,605 --> 01:36:36,619 Listen, 1683 01:36:36,620 --> 01:36:40,411 I was astonished to see this character 1684 01:36:41,328 --> 01:36:42,661 so terribly passive. 1685 01:36:44,661 --> 01:36:47,161 I had no idea, insofar as it's me. 1686 01:36:47,328 --> 01:36:49,578 Insofar as it's you... 1687 01:36:50,953 --> 01:36:53,870 insofar... it's completely you. 1688 01:36:54,036 --> 01:36:56,078 Well, I'm not like that anymore. 1689 01:36:56,245 --> 01:36:57,245 Really? 1690 01:36:57,411 --> 01:36:59,161 I'm a positive person now. 1691 01:36:59,328 --> 01:37:02,203 Thank God I finished my book beforehand. 1692 01:37:02,620 --> 01:37:06,453 Positive people in books put me straight to sleep. 1693 01:37:06,995 --> 01:37:10,745 Yes, but... that passivity was terrifying. 1694 01:37:11,078 --> 01:37:13,120 Well, writing alters things. 1695 01:37:13,953 --> 01:37:15,620 I felt angry. 1696 01:37:16,536 --> 01:37:20,661 Like natives who say photographs steal part of their souls. 1697 01:37:21,120 --> 01:37:23,078 I knew you'd be angry. 1698 01:37:24,536 --> 01:37:25,828 Very angry. 1699 01:37:28,536 --> 01:37:31,328 And when did you get over it? 1700 01:37:32,245 --> 01:37:34,161 I probably haven't. 1701 01:37:39,620 --> 01:37:42,245 God, how I've missed 1702 01:37:42,411 --> 01:37:44,286 talking to you. 1703 01:37:44,953 --> 01:37:46,620 And not taking notes? 1704 01:37:48,411 --> 01:37:49,453 Of course. 1705 01:37:50,078 --> 01:37:51,620 I've missed it too. 1706 01:37:52,661 --> 01:37:54,328 I've missed it so badly. 1707 01:37:55,828 --> 01:37:57,536 I talk to you in my head. 1708 01:37:58,161 --> 01:37:59,578 I talk to you too. 1709 01:38:00,911 --> 01:38:04,120 "Freshfield" was not a good name for me. 1710 01:38:04,745 --> 01:38:06,120 You should have consulted me. 1711 01:38:06,411 --> 01:38:10,078 It's from an English poem, "Tomorrow to fresh woods..." 1712 01:38:10,745 --> 01:38:13,620 I got it, but it wasn't right. Too easy. 1713 01:38:14,078 --> 01:38:15,578 You haven't lost your bite. 1714 01:38:15,745 --> 01:38:17,745 So you live in America now. 1715 01:38:18,620 --> 01:38:21,203 Was it too Christian for you here? 1716 01:38:21,370 --> 01:38:22,370 True. 1717 01:38:23,828 --> 01:38:26,745 I was missing something here. I didn't realize. 1718 01:38:26,911 --> 01:38:28,828 Really? What was that? 1719 01:38:29,495 --> 01:38:30,578 The... 1720 01:38:31,078 --> 01:38:32,245 Jews! 1721 01:38:34,161 --> 01:38:35,620 We've got some here. 1722 01:38:36,203 --> 01:38:38,745 I'm talking about Jews with guts. 1723 01:38:39,411 --> 01:38:42,828 Jews with appetite, Jews without shame. 1724 01:38:43,078 --> 01:38:46,661 Brash, angry Jews who eat with their elbows on the table. 1725 01:38:47,036 --> 01:38:49,120 Insult, argument, impudence. 1726 01:38:49,995 --> 01:38:52,703 - Back in the bosom of the tribe. - Exactly. 1727 01:38:53,036 --> 01:38:55,495 - Isn't it odd? - Not very. 1728 01:38:56,161 --> 01:38:57,745 The one who's gone home. 1729 01:38:57,911 --> 01:38:59,411 You read "The Odyssey"? 1730 01:39:00,370 --> 01:39:03,578 An epic of exile and return. What's your role? 1731 01:39:04,703 --> 01:39:05,828 Nausicaä? 1732 01:39:07,078 --> 01:39:08,120 Calypso? 1733 01:39:08,286 --> 01:39:09,328 Homer. 1734 01:39:11,953 --> 01:39:13,120 I'll write on you. 1735 01:39:13,453 --> 01:39:16,786 Hurry up, I may write a second one on you. 1736 01:39:16,953 --> 01:39:18,328 You wouldn't do that. 1737 01:39:19,620 --> 01:39:20,870 Would you? 1738 01:39:21,161 --> 01:39:22,411 You'd dare? 1739 01:39:22,870 --> 01:39:24,536 Of course I would. 1740 01:39:24,870 --> 01:39:27,495 This conversation will be part of it. 1741 01:39:27,661 --> 01:39:30,370 You'd be scraping the bottom of the barrel. 1742 01:39:30,536 --> 01:39:32,286 Don't underestimate yourself. 1743 01:39:33,120 --> 01:39:35,453 You were a great barrel. 1744 01:39:36,203 --> 01:39:38,411 - For me, you were. - Was I? 1745 01:39:39,620 --> 01:39:41,661 I was so angry for months. 1746 01:39:43,286 --> 01:39:47,453 I was torn because after I read it, I couldn't be angry. 1747 01:39:48,036 --> 01:39:49,120 Why was that? 1748 01:39:49,286 --> 01:39:50,453 Because... 1749 01:39:52,786 --> 01:39:55,203 because it was so tender, 1750 01:39:55,745 --> 01:39:56,870 I think. 1751 01:39:57,620 --> 01:39:59,245 Unless I got it wrong. 1752 01:40:03,453 --> 01:40:04,786 You didn't get it wrong. 1753 01:40:20,911 --> 01:40:22,661 Good evening, ma'am. 111885

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