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DECEPTION
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London 1987.
3
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,450
I won't say my name,
4
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,866
but I'm 33.
5
00:01:18,491 --> 00:01:22,116
My marriage gets more
disastrous year-by-year.
6
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:25,283
Yet we have an adorable
4-year-old girl.
7
00:01:26,908 --> 00:01:29,200
I met Philip a year
and a half ago.
8
00:01:30,116 --> 00:01:33,658
Philip is an American
novelist who lives in London.
9
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,700
I never understood
that willful exile.
10
00:01:36,866 --> 00:01:40,783
Even though I pretend my
lover's fame doesn't impress me,
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00:01:40,950 --> 00:01:42,158
I read all his books.
12
00:01:42,325 --> 00:01:45,616
And deep down, I'm proud
that an esteemed artist
13
00:01:45,783 --> 00:01:48,491
found me interesting
enough for secret trysts
14
00:01:48,658 --> 00:01:49,866
in the afternoon.
15
00:01:52,450 --> 00:01:53,741
Please.
16
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,241
Close your eyes.
17
00:01:58,908 --> 00:02:00,700
I'm not going to be tied up!
18
00:02:00,866 --> 00:02:03,575
My dear friend, who
here ever suggested
19
00:02:03,741 --> 00:02:05,991
tying you up so
early in the game?
20
00:02:06,533 --> 00:02:08,408
I read about it in books.
21
00:02:08,866 --> 00:02:09,908
So?
22
00:02:10,866 --> 00:02:12,575
Writers write those books.
23
00:02:15,366 --> 00:02:16,825
Close your eyes.
24
00:02:17,825 --> 00:02:18,866
All right.
25
00:02:22,408 --> 00:02:24,783
Let's see if you've
been paying attention.
26
00:02:26,908 --> 00:02:29,616
Now describe this room.
27
00:02:31,616 --> 00:02:35,033
To begin with, it has
two nice French windows.
28
00:02:35,408 --> 00:02:37,033
Looking out onto a lawn.
29
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,116
In the room's spare style,
30
00:02:40,991 --> 00:02:42,950
the windows have no curtains,
31
00:02:43,116 --> 00:02:47,325
so that nearby houses can
see everything inside.
32
00:02:47,866 --> 00:02:50,866
Mostly what they see
is someone typing.
33
00:02:51,325 --> 00:02:53,325
Or they see me reading.
34
00:02:53,783 --> 00:02:57,200
They deserve to see something
far more interesting.
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00:02:59,575 --> 00:03:01,408
There's a comfortable chair.
36
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:05,033
In it, sits a woman
who should be at work.
37
00:03:05,283 --> 00:03:08,200
Listening to her
lament her marriage,
38
00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:09,533
is a man,
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00:03:10,116 --> 00:03:12,658
sitting in a leather desk chair.
40
00:03:13,825 --> 00:03:17,241
His desk, about three by five,
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00:03:17,658 --> 00:03:20,783
is a wood plank on
a metallic pedestal.
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00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:22,825
Piles of papers all over:
43
00:03:22,991 --> 00:03:25,866
an unfinished manuscript,
stacks of letters,
44
00:03:26,283 --> 00:03:29,783
and clippings about
Israel from the papers
45
00:03:30,116 --> 00:03:32,575
to prove to his wife
that the British
46
00:03:32,741 --> 00:03:34,241
are all anti-Semitic.
47
00:03:36,408 --> 00:03:40,700
At a right angle to the
desk is the typewriter.
48
00:03:40,866 --> 00:03:44,241
It has its own
special desk. Pica 72.
49
00:03:44,242 --> 00:03:45,242
Excellent.
50
00:03:45,408 --> 00:03:47,491
Behind, bookshelves.
51
00:03:47,908 --> 00:03:49,700
"Heine's Jewish Comedy",
52
00:03:49,866 --> 00:03:51,866
"Jew as Pariah"
by Hannah Arendt,
53
00:03:52,158 --> 00:03:53,700
"White Nights", Menachem Begin,
54
00:03:55,241 --> 00:03:57,200
Only books about Jews,
55
00:03:57,366 --> 00:03:58,408
by Jews,
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00:03:58,575 --> 00:03:59,825
for Jews.
57
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,825
Suspended above, a paper globe,
58
00:04:04,991 --> 00:04:06,950
all dusty, Japanese.
59
00:04:07,366 --> 00:04:08,575
A radio,
60
00:04:09,158 --> 00:04:10,866
two chrome lamps.
61
00:04:12,658 --> 00:04:16,158
A plastic mat for back
exercises and adultery.
62
00:04:16,616 --> 00:04:19,325
In the bin, take-out containers.
63
00:04:21,408 --> 00:04:23,408
One sybaritic detail:
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00:04:23,575 --> 00:04:27,283
plaster floral ornamentation
on ceiling molding.
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00:04:27,741 --> 00:04:28,991
Wonderful.
66
00:04:30,075 --> 00:04:31,158
That all?
67
00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:32,700
Yes.
68
00:04:36,116 --> 00:04:37,241
Now close yours.
69
00:04:38,450 --> 00:04:39,450
Okay.
70
00:04:40,491 --> 00:04:44,116
Let's see how much attention
you've been paying.
71
00:04:44,491 --> 00:04:45,616
Go ahead.
72
00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:47,491
Now...
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00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:49,700
describe me.
74
00:04:52,116 --> 00:04:55,450
Autumn.
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00:05:09,283 --> 00:05:12,158
My husband's girlfriend
gave him a present.
76
00:05:12,741 --> 00:05:13,950
She's very pretentious.
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00:05:14,116 --> 00:05:17,283
A very jealous and
ambitious kind of person.
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00:05:17,783 --> 00:05:19,116
She gave him a record.
79
00:05:19,741 --> 00:05:23,450
A piece by Schubert, very
well known, very beautiful.
80
00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:25,200
Inspired by
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00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:29,450
the great passion of his life,
a dazzlingly interesting woman.
82
00:05:29,741 --> 00:05:32,075
All spelled out in
the liner notes.
83
00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:36,033
He could simply have said
he bought it himself.
84
00:05:36,241 --> 00:05:39,991
But no, he said his girlfriend
had given it to him.
85
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:46,116
I was drunk one evening, I
got a pink underlining thing.
86
00:05:47,366 --> 00:05:51,075
I highlighted several
particularly hilarious phrases.
87
00:05:52,283 --> 00:05:54,116
"The greatest passion ever".
88
00:05:54,491 --> 00:05:55,783
"Marriage of minds".
89
00:05:56,033 --> 00:05:57,158
"Ecstasy".
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00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,241
Then calmly and with dignity,
91
00:06:00,408 --> 00:06:03,075
I handed him the record cover.
92
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,491
Was that awful of me?
93
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,075
Why were you drunk?
94
00:06:12,866 --> 00:06:14,866
I wasn't drunk,
but I drank a lot.
95
00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:17,991
You drink a lot at night?
96
00:06:18,408 --> 00:06:19,700
- Yeah.
- How much?
97
00:06:20,158 --> 00:06:21,616
A large amount.
98
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:24,575
Nights when I'm alone,
I drink nothing.
99
00:06:25,241 --> 00:06:28,575
Otherwise, easily several
doubles before dinner.
100
00:06:28,950 --> 00:06:30,658
And wine in between.
101
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,991
But I never really get drunk.
102
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,033
Just a little elevated.
103
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:37,950
You lead such a bizarre life.
104
00:06:38,366 --> 00:06:39,616
It is bizarre.
105
00:06:40,575 --> 00:06:43,075
It's a mistake, but here I am.
106
00:06:43,241 --> 00:06:44,366
That's my life.
107
00:06:51,866 --> 00:06:53,658
How unhappy are you?
108
00:06:54,408 --> 00:06:55,783
It goes in periods.
109
00:06:58,283 --> 00:07:00,283
We have periods of ghastliness.
110
00:07:01,533 --> 00:07:04,075
Then long periods
of quiet and love.
111
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,283
You still sleep together?
112
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,075
I thought you'd ask that.
113
00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:12,658
I don't intend to answer.
114
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,200
Good evening!
115
00:07:17,533 --> 00:07:18,700
Good evening.
116
00:07:20,783 --> 00:07:22,366
Have a nice day?
117
00:07:23,741 --> 00:07:26,908
A wretched day of writing...
118
00:07:27,075 --> 00:07:29,408
My poor, aggrieved hero.
119
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,408
Oh, a kiss!
120
00:07:32,533 --> 00:07:33,615
Yep!
121
00:07:33,616 --> 00:07:35,783
- We know each other.
- Yes we do.
122
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:40,283
What are you doing?
123
00:07:40,741 --> 00:07:41,950
Rereading my notes.
124
00:07:44,450 --> 00:07:46,200
Don't come to bed too late.
125
00:07:47,116 --> 00:07:48,866
I'll be there soon.
126
00:07:51,366 --> 00:07:52,783
Very impressive!
127
00:07:52,983 --> 00:07:54,116
What?
128
00:07:54,283 --> 00:07:56,075
- I love you.
- I love you.
129
00:07:56,366 --> 00:07:59,325
You, a ribbon in your hair.
130
00:07:59,741 --> 00:08:01,075
Don't like it?
131
00:08:01,658 --> 00:08:03,116
I do like it.
132
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:06,200
Why aren't you happy
with your wife?
133
00:08:06,741 --> 00:08:08,075
Why isn't it enough?
134
00:08:08,241 --> 00:08:10,825
Why isn't your husband enough?
135
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,658
I've told you lots about him.
136
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,033
Tell me why your
wife isn't enough.
137
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,866
You're asking the
wrong question.
138
00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:19,700
What's the right one?
139
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:21,408
I don't know.
140
00:08:26,116 --> 00:08:27,491
Why am I here?
141
00:08:27,950 --> 00:08:31,116
Because I followed
temptation where it led me.
142
00:08:31,283 --> 00:08:33,783
I do that now that I'm older.
143
00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:36,616
Why so anxious not to hurt her?
144
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,741
Why should I want to hurt her?
145
00:08:40,575 --> 00:08:42,658
You don't seem free
to do everything.
146
00:08:43,450 --> 00:08:45,825
What's free? Are you free?
147
00:08:46,283 --> 00:08:47,741
Free-ish.
148
00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:49,200
Free-er than you.
149
00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:52,366
Nonsense! Let's cut
this conversation short.
150
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,533
Why?
151
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,825
Maybe only one
adulterous partner
152
00:08:55,991 --> 00:08:59,241
should complain about
domestic dissatisfactions.
153
00:09:00,033 --> 00:09:02,616
Making your dissatisfaction
out of bounds.
154
00:09:02,950 --> 00:09:06,908
Except your dissatisfactions
with England and Englishness.
155
00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:10,241
Can't it be that
domestic dissatisfactions
156
00:09:10,408 --> 00:09:13,991
have nothing to do with my
falling in love with you?
157
00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:16,283
Besides cultural displacement.
158
00:09:17,283 --> 00:09:19,450
I owe this to
cultural displacement?
159
00:09:19,616 --> 00:09:20,700
Maybe.
160
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,575
So our story is a cultural one?
161
00:09:23,741 --> 00:09:25,991
A genre I always
find interesting.
162
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:27,950
Gentile women.
163
00:09:28,241 --> 00:09:30,241
You're in love
with anthropology.
164
00:09:30,408 --> 00:09:33,283
There are worse ways to address
anthropological differences.
165
00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:37,200
The old standbys:
hatred, xenophobia,
166
00:09:37,366 --> 00:09:39,116
violence, murder.
167
00:09:39,283 --> 00:09:41,783
Yes, my dear, you're...
168
00:09:42,575 --> 00:09:46,200
you're the Albert Schweitzer
of cross-cultural fucking.
169
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,158
Malinowski is fine, he'll do.
170
00:09:56,408 --> 00:09:57,616
What's wrong?
171
00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,075
Answer me.
172
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,158
I can tell something's wrong.
173
00:10:02,283 --> 00:10:04,033
A nanny,
174
00:10:04,283 --> 00:10:07,075
a child, two squabbling
housekeepers.
175
00:10:07,991 --> 00:10:10,658
And the usual English damp.
176
00:10:12,950 --> 00:10:15,866
I don't think we can
continue our liaison.
177
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,366
The days are too short.
178
00:10:18,658 --> 00:10:19,866
Really?
179
00:10:21,366 --> 00:10:22,825
That's too bad.
180
00:10:23,783 --> 00:10:24,950
You don't agree?
181
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:29,116
Didn't our last
conversation take that turn?
182
00:10:30,616 --> 00:10:31,950
Oh, I see.
183
00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:33,950
Whatever you want.
184
00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:35,783
I think it's best.
185
00:10:36,283 --> 00:10:37,991
You said it's driving you nuts.
186
00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:39,866
What's driving me nuts?
187
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:43,241
All these sexual matters.
188
00:10:44,366 --> 00:10:48,158
You said you weren't keen on
just a romantic friendship.
189
00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:51,616
I'll simplify it for you,
if you want it simple.
190
00:10:54,783 --> 00:10:57,575
Why the silence? I hate
you when you're silent.
191
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,450
I'm here.
192
00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:10,158
Get my letter?
193
00:11:10,616 --> 00:11:13,658
Yes, I got it. That
letter is... wonderful.
194
00:11:15,116 --> 00:11:16,158
I tore it up.
195
00:11:16,741 --> 00:11:18,158
Obviously, of course.
196
00:11:18,491 --> 00:11:21,366
- It seemed the best thing to do.
- Indeed.
197
00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:25,075
Very strange to see you.
198
00:11:25,825 --> 00:11:27,700
Stranger not to, right?
199
00:11:27,866 --> 00:11:28,950
That I don't know.
200
00:11:29,491 --> 00:11:31,408
You disappeared for a while.
201
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,033
You've changed too.
202
00:11:35,741 --> 00:11:37,700
You do look a bit different.
203
00:11:37,866 --> 00:11:40,783
- What happened to you?
- I look that different?
204
00:11:41,866 --> 00:11:42,991
Taller?
205
00:11:43,366 --> 00:11:44,366
Shorter?
206
00:11:45,158 --> 00:11:47,075
- Pudgier.
- I don't know.
207
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,741
It's very subtle.
208
00:11:50,533 --> 00:11:52,075
Something subtle?
209
00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:53,241
Yeah.
210
00:11:54,325 --> 00:11:55,575
I've missed you.
211
00:12:00,491 --> 00:12:01,575
I'm freezing.
212
00:12:02,658 --> 00:12:05,658
I behaved very stupidly
with my husband.
213
00:12:06,658 --> 00:12:09,700
He's had to put up
with me terribly lonely
214
00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:11,533
and depressed for years.
215
00:12:13,325 --> 00:12:17,491
I didn't have affairs. I
thought he was vulnerable.
216
00:12:17,866 --> 00:12:20,950
Your husband doesn't
sound that vulnerable.
217
00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,950
Why not tell him: "If
you don't give her up,
218
00:12:24,116 --> 00:12:25,908
I'll sleep in the other room?
219
00:12:26,075 --> 00:12:29,323
You're free. Either you
fuck her or you fuck me.
220
00:12:29,324 --> 00:12:30,391
Take your pick."
221
00:12:31,075 --> 00:12:33,283
She's an important
part of his life.
222
00:12:33,866 --> 00:12:35,658
It would be selfish
on my behalf.
223
00:12:36,783 --> 00:12:38,491
Selfish on your part?
224
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,866
You think you that,
then marry me.
225
00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:43,075
It's lovely to hear a woman say:
226
00:12:43,491 --> 00:12:45,908
"It would be selfish
to ask my husband
227
00:12:46,075 --> 00:12:47,783
to give up his girlfriend."
228
00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:50,241
I think it would be though.
229
00:12:50,866 --> 00:12:52,741
It's easier when
I don't see you.
230
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,075
We get distracted, we forget.
231
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:59,158
None of this terrible comparing.
232
00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:04,408
I wanted to explain what's
going on in my head.
233
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:06,491
But...
234
00:13:07,283 --> 00:13:09,033
I feel like I'm abusing.
235
00:13:09,325 --> 00:13:10,575
Let's talk about it.
236
00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:13,533
I like to know
what's in your head.
237
00:13:15,658 --> 00:13:17,408
I'm very fond of your head.
238
00:13:18,450 --> 00:13:20,283
I had my mother for the weekend.
239
00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:22,783
And he just disappeared.
240
00:13:23,616 --> 00:13:28,075
Lunch tomorrow with my mother-in-law,
who's so hellishly unpleasant.
241
00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:31,283
You know what a cervix is?
242
00:13:31,616 --> 00:13:32,825
I think so.
243
00:13:33,366 --> 00:13:35,741
Well, I've got a lump on mine.
244
00:13:36,533 --> 00:13:38,408
I must do a test or something.
245
00:13:40,408 --> 00:13:43,241
My husband says I've
ruined his sex life.
246
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,616
I so don't enjoy sex with him.
247
00:13:48,991 --> 00:13:50,283
It's always...
248
00:13:51,658 --> 00:13:53,325
hard and lonely.
249
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,283
That's the way it is.
250
00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:57,450
It's life, isn't it?
251
00:13:58,616 --> 00:14:02,991
Why not do your husband
a favor and try to come?
252
00:14:05,283 --> 00:14:06,575
I don't want to.
253
00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:09,450
It's better than arguing.
254
00:14:11,616 --> 00:14:13,491
I get so angry with him.
255
00:14:13,783 --> 00:14:15,325
Don't get angry.
256
00:14:15,491 --> 00:14:17,408
Your husband's fucking you.
257
00:14:17,575 --> 00:14:18,575
Let him.
258
00:14:19,241 --> 00:14:21,366
It's not under my
conscious control.
259
00:14:21,533 --> 00:14:25,033
Just be a whore for half
an hour. It won't kill you!
260
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:27,116
Whores don't come.
261
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,283
Play the whore!
262
00:14:30,908 --> 00:14:33,616
Don't be so serious
about everything.
263
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,366
He's...
264
00:14:36,950 --> 00:14:40,950
the type who thinks women
must have multiple orgasms,
265
00:14:41,491 --> 00:14:43,033
that we must come together.
266
00:14:44,158 --> 00:14:46,116
Normal for young
people, isn't it?
267
00:14:48,283 --> 00:14:51,158
Once you acquire some
history, resentments,
268
00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:55,991
how can you explain losing
interest in someone sexually?
269
00:14:57,366 --> 00:14:59,200
Why not ask why it snows?
270
00:14:59,575 --> 00:15:01,575
Not a reason for leaving him?
271
00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:14,532
You know,
272
00:15:14,533 --> 00:15:16,950
when I met you, you were ripe.
273
00:15:18,283 --> 00:15:19,616
Ripe for the picking.
274
00:15:21,283 --> 00:15:22,866
No, I was...
275
00:15:24,616 --> 00:15:26,991
on the ground, rotting
under the tree.
276
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:42,533
On the ground, rotting
under the tree.
277
00:15:58,533 --> 00:16:01,200
Is your husband safely
in a hospital room?
278
00:16:02,866 --> 00:16:04,616
Think the tootsie's there too?
279
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,741
"Tootsie" is such
a wonderful word.
280
00:16:08,325 --> 00:16:10,658
Yes, I thought
you might like it.
281
00:16:11,533 --> 00:16:13,700
I gave him unduly bad press.
282
00:16:13,866 --> 00:16:15,283
He has many qualities.
283
00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:18,700
But the truth of
the matter is...
284
00:16:18,866 --> 00:16:20,991
I haven't slept so well in ages.
285
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:24,658
I woke up this morning
feeling absolutely normal.
286
00:16:26,741 --> 00:16:28,158
He comes back tomorrow.
287
00:16:44,491 --> 00:16:46,033
You're shaking. You ill?
288
00:16:46,325 --> 00:16:47,908
I'm terribly excited.
289
00:17:03,596 --> 00:17:04,658
What?
290
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,241
"And you give me
291
00:17:15,616 --> 00:17:17,783
the pleasure of your eyes,
292
00:17:18,533 --> 00:17:20,200
of your face,
293
00:17:21,658 --> 00:17:23,158
of your flesh."
294
00:17:28,116 --> 00:17:30,658
Maybe because it
was Valentine's Day,
295
00:17:31,658 --> 00:17:34,491
I woke up in the
middle of the night
296
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,991
with a terrific sensation.
297
00:17:38,616 --> 00:17:42,575
It felt like your
hand was on my cock.
298
00:17:43,866 --> 00:17:45,366
It was no one's.
299
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:46,950
It was a dream.
300
00:17:47,325 --> 00:17:50,616
How did I end up being
so hooked on you?
301
00:17:51,241 --> 00:17:54,158
It's that you spend
all day in this room.
302
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,950
You have no new
experiences here.
303
00:17:57,241 --> 00:17:58,866
No adventures.
304
00:18:01,325 --> 00:18:02,866
I have you.
305
00:18:10,908 --> 00:18:12,866
How long has it been now?
306
00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:15,408
A year and a half.
307
00:18:20,658 --> 00:18:21,991
I know nothing about you.
308
00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:25,575
Sure, I do know a bit.
309
00:18:25,825 --> 00:18:28,825
From reading your
books. But not a lot.
310
00:18:31,116 --> 00:18:34,825
We may as well be holed up
in the Frank family's attic.
311
00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:36,491
Yes.
312
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:39,366
Our lot in life.
313
00:18:42,783 --> 00:18:43,991
What are you thinking?
314
00:18:45,741 --> 00:18:48,325
I feel so urgently
the need for solitude.
315
00:18:57,950 --> 00:19:00,033
You look so damned tired.
316
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,283
What can I do?
317
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:03,241
I dunno, run away!
318
00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:04,783
Excuse me.
319
00:19:09,908 --> 00:19:11,991
Know what I'm doing on Tuesday?
320
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,200
No.
321
00:19:13,366 --> 00:19:14,866
I'm seeing a solicitor.
322
00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:17,116
About getting a divorce?
323
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:19,908
Just to find out what's up.
324
00:19:22,408 --> 00:19:24,908
I'll get to your place
in a heightened state.
325
00:19:26,033 --> 00:19:27,115
I'm off.
326
00:19:27,116 --> 00:19:29,158
It should be interesting.
327
00:19:38,162 --> 00:19:40,246
When I lived in the country,
328
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,246
before spending
time in the city,
329
00:19:42,996 --> 00:19:44,579
I was so simple.
330
00:19:44,996 --> 00:19:47,121
If you struggle
a lot, that dies.
331
00:19:47,746 --> 00:19:49,412
I used to be a lot of fun.
332
00:19:49,912 --> 00:19:51,996
I enjoy you now.
333
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:59,621
What if he asks how
you got the bruise?
334
00:19:59,787 --> 00:20:01,079
He already has.
335
00:20:01,849 --> 00:20:02,870
And?
336
00:20:02,871 --> 00:20:04,121
I told the truth.
337
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,954
I always do. That way,
you never get caught.
338
00:20:07,412 --> 00:20:08,704
What did you say?
339
00:20:08,912 --> 00:20:12,454
I said: "I got this bruise
340
00:20:12,746 --> 00:20:14,329
in a torrid embrace
341
00:20:14,496 --> 00:20:17,246
with an unemployed writer
342
00:20:17,496 --> 00:20:18,704
in a flat,
343
00:20:18,871 --> 00:20:20,996
a walk-up, in Notting Hill."
344
00:20:21,162 --> 00:20:22,371
And?
345
00:20:22,829 --> 00:20:24,746
It sounds silly and
everyone laughs.
346
00:20:24,912 --> 00:20:27,246
And you maintain the
illusion of honesty.
347
00:20:27,496 --> 00:20:28,621
Absolutely.
348
00:20:43,662 --> 00:20:45,954
I was a little Czech girl.
349
00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:50,412
I went to your hotel.
350
00:20:52,204 --> 00:20:54,287
You asked me up to your room
351
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:57,037
to help you carry some books.
352
00:20:59,121 --> 00:21:02,246
It was 10 o'clock
in the morning.
353
00:21:03,412 --> 00:21:06,037
And they were very rude with me.
354
00:21:06,329 --> 00:21:08,412
They treated me like a whore.
355
00:21:08,871 --> 00:21:11,704
And you, you made a scene!
356
00:21:14,162 --> 00:21:15,579
You were kind.
357
00:21:18,162 --> 00:21:21,246
Then I took you across
the Charles Bridge
358
00:21:22,204 --> 00:21:25,121
and you taught me tons
of colloquial words.
359
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,871
We had dinner at your hotel.
360
00:21:31,621 --> 00:21:33,954
You didn't care
particularly about me.
361
00:21:35,329 --> 00:21:38,579
I was about 21, 22.
362
00:21:40,412 --> 00:21:42,412
I'm much older now.
363
00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:49,412
What's that park at the
top of Prague where we sat?
364
00:21:50,954 --> 00:21:53,912
We didn't go there.
That was someone else.
365
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:55,579
No, no one else.
366
00:21:55,746 --> 00:21:58,162
I particularly did care for you.
367
00:22:00,912 --> 00:22:05,246
You once telephoned me to
invite me to an orgy, remember?
368
00:22:05,954 --> 00:22:07,037
You did!
369
00:22:07,954 --> 00:22:09,746
I wasn't brave enough to go.
370
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:12,204
You didn't miss a
thing. Very boring.
371
00:22:12,412 --> 00:22:14,121
You were always tailed.
372
00:22:14,287 --> 00:22:16,787
When we sat in a restaurant,
373
00:22:17,204 --> 00:22:21,537
that guy from the police
always sat next to us.
374
00:22:22,371 --> 00:22:24,037
We found it unbearable.
375
00:22:24,246 --> 00:22:25,746
It was unbearable.
376
00:22:26,871 --> 00:22:29,412
I worked at the
American library.
377
00:22:30,996 --> 00:22:33,371
My professor got me the job.
378
00:22:34,246 --> 00:22:36,829
He said it would
be great for us all
379
00:22:36,996 --> 00:22:39,537
because we could get books...
380
00:22:40,037 --> 00:22:41,329
Books.
381
00:22:43,287 --> 00:22:45,537
And it was a fantastic job.
382
00:22:45,829 --> 00:22:48,287
But in the end it
became difficult.
383
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:53,996
I had to decide
384
00:22:54,162 --> 00:22:56,996
to work for the Secret
Service or to leave.
385
00:22:57,287 --> 00:23:00,537
You're in London now.
You can talk. Talk!
386
00:23:02,162 --> 00:23:03,746
I'll tell you.
387
00:23:05,412 --> 00:23:06,537
They told me...
388
00:23:08,121 --> 00:23:10,204
We know that you like your job,
389
00:23:10,371 --> 00:23:12,287
that you make lot of money.
390
00:23:13,954 --> 00:23:16,454
They gave me a paper to sign.
391
00:23:17,037 --> 00:23:20,121
The discussion we'd be
having was a state secret.
392
00:23:20,954 --> 00:23:23,204
If I spoke to anyone,
393
00:23:23,371 --> 00:23:24,954
including my own family,
394
00:23:25,287 --> 00:23:26,871
I would be prosecuted
395
00:23:27,621 --> 00:23:29,662
and imprisoned for seven years.
396
00:23:30,246 --> 00:23:31,871
Sentenced for what?
397
00:23:32,162 --> 00:23:33,829
I risked prison anyway.
398
00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:37,162
I was so scared, I
told all my friends.
399
00:23:37,787 --> 00:23:39,037
So I said:
400
00:23:39,454 --> 00:23:42,204
"Why sign something I
know nothing about?"
401
00:23:42,371 --> 00:23:44,246
Sign it! Stop asking questions!
402
00:23:44,412 --> 00:23:47,037
I can't sign anything
I don't know about!
403
00:23:47,204 --> 00:23:49,079
Your work, friends, country...
404
00:23:49,329 --> 00:23:51,454
it's all over, you understand?
405
00:23:54,121 --> 00:23:56,787
"No, I'll tell you
straightaway, I can't,
406
00:23:56,954 --> 00:23:58,496
I can't do it."
407
00:23:58,954 --> 00:24:02,204
So they said: "You'll
have to find another job.
408
00:24:02,621 --> 00:24:04,704
There's no future for you here."
409
00:24:05,621 --> 00:24:07,579
They didn't fire me immediately.
410
00:24:08,246 --> 00:24:11,912
I went back to work.
I didn't tell anyone.
411
00:24:12,412 --> 00:24:14,246
Then the nightmare began.
412
00:24:14,412 --> 00:24:17,412
The Americans did
the same thing.
413
00:24:18,037 --> 00:24:19,996
Said they were interested in me,
414
00:24:20,162 --> 00:24:22,621
that I should spy for them.
415
00:24:27,454 --> 00:24:28,829
Jana!
416
00:24:35,871 --> 00:24:38,496
Same thing, I refused
the Americans too.
417
00:24:39,329 --> 00:24:42,121
By that time, my
situation had become
418
00:24:42,287 --> 00:24:44,162
absolutely awful.
419
00:24:46,371 --> 00:24:49,954
They were both interested
because I speak the languages.
420
00:24:50,662 --> 00:24:52,662
I'm quite good at translating.
421
00:24:53,746 --> 00:24:55,371
I always enjoyed literature.
422
00:24:56,037 --> 00:24:57,037
I know.
423
00:24:57,246 --> 00:24:58,662
I translated stories
424
00:24:58,829 --> 00:25:00,287
for Czech papers.
425
00:25:02,246 --> 00:25:06,246
At the library, I'd become
so isolated I had to quit.
426
00:25:07,787 --> 00:25:09,912
I left soon after.
427
00:25:11,912 --> 00:25:15,412
That's why I married
that stupid Englishman
428
00:25:15,579 --> 00:25:18,079
who at least knew he wanted me.
429
00:25:19,579 --> 00:25:20,912
1978.
430
00:25:21,079 --> 00:25:23,537
You married to
get out. No shame.
431
00:25:29,371 --> 00:25:31,037
To leave the country,
432
00:25:31,204 --> 00:25:34,537
you need lots of papers,
it takes forever.
433
00:25:35,162 --> 00:25:38,162
When I left Czechoslovakia,
I no longer loved him.
434
00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:41,579
When I got to England,
435
00:25:41,954 --> 00:25:43,954
I just couldn't cope.
436
00:25:46,787 --> 00:25:50,912
At first he was so
upset to see me crying.
437
00:25:51,454 --> 00:25:53,787
I felt miserable
438
00:25:54,079 --> 00:25:56,079
and I missed all my friends.
439
00:25:57,496 --> 00:26:00,079
I did every odd job.
440
00:26:02,537 --> 00:26:05,329
And on the third day,
I'd be thrown out
441
00:26:05,496 --> 00:26:07,787
because I talked back.
442
00:26:08,371 --> 00:26:10,621
I was still a Czech.
443
00:26:11,912 --> 00:26:14,037
Your life story is
more interesting.
444
00:26:14,204 --> 00:26:15,746
Not at all. Go on.
445
00:26:16,829 --> 00:26:19,927
The English husband...
how did it end?
446
00:26:19,928 --> 00:26:20,996
Badly.
447
00:26:23,246 --> 00:26:25,079
I hated Czechoslovakia
448
00:26:25,246 --> 00:26:27,329
because it had very set rules.
449
00:26:27,496 --> 00:26:29,287
You couldn't breathe.
450
00:26:29,954 --> 00:26:32,162
But I don't like England,
451
00:26:33,829 --> 00:26:35,954
because it has
another set of rules.
452
00:26:36,121 --> 00:26:39,371
Of little houses and
vegetable gardens,
453
00:26:39,537 --> 00:26:42,912
and all their life is to
get something like that.
454
00:26:43,912 --> 00:26:45,871
I can't be like that.
455
00:26:48,621 --> 00:26:50,704
Because I'm educated.
456
00:26:55,079 --> 00:26:57,371
I have no place here.
457
00:26:59,871 --> 00:27:01,246
None at all.
458
00:27:31,829 --> 00:27:33,371
Hello. It's me.
459
00:27:36,371 --> 00:27:37,954
Oh, it's you.
460
00:27:38,746 --> 00:27:39,954
How are you?
461
00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:44,996
- I'm fine.- What do you know?
462
00:27:45,162 --> 00:27:46,371
Anything new?
463
00:27:46,537 --> 00:27:47,537
No.
464
00:27:48,537 --> 00:27:51,079
I have to do a
tomography this morning.
465
00:27:51,912 --> 00:27:53,746
It's quite a heavy day.
466
00:27:54,055 --> 00:27:55,079
I see.
467
00:27:55,579 --> 00:27:57,537
The tomography
will tell you what?
468
00:27:58,912 --> 00:28:00,371
How long I have.
469
00:28:03,162 --> 00:28:04,204
No.
470
00:28:05,412 --> 00:28:09,037
If the tomography shows
tumors, it's bad news.
471
00:28:09,204 --> 00:28:11,537
It means the drugs
aren't working.
472
00:28:11,829 --> 00:28:15,329
And if it shows nothing,
I still need surgery
473
00:28:15,496 --> 00:28:16,787
to see what's going on.
474
00:28:16,996 --> 00:28:18,662
Results are on Monday.
475
00:28:19,329 --> 00:28:22,121
So this is a big weekend.
476
00:28:22,371 --> 00:28:23,496
Yes.
477
00:28:23,662 --> 00:28:24,829
Pretty big.
478
00:28:27,704 --> 00:28:29,704
Are you able to write anything?
479
00:28:32,579 --> 00:28:34,496
The narratives crumble.
480
00:28:38,621 --> 00:28:40,746
No, I've been doing yoga.
481
00:28:41,412 --> 00:28:43,621
I eat macrobiotic.
482
00:28:45,162 --> 00:28:46,287
Macrobiotic...
483
00:28:46,454 --> 00:28:49,996
I'm just trying to live
with what joy there is.
484
00:28:50,287 --> 00:28:53,121
- How's your support system?
- Great!
485
00:28:54,871 --> 00:28:59,037
Even my father phoned from
wherever the hell he lives now.
486
00:29:00,037 --> 00:29:01,704
So it's not so great.
487
00:29:02,079 --> 00:29:05,579
It is! A call from my father
makes cancer worth it.
488
00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,079
No, they're great.
489
00:29:11,412 --> 00:29:13,287
All my ex-men are wonderful.
490
00:29:13,621 --> 00:29:14,912
Very nice.
491
00:29:15,079 --> 00:29:16,537
Very attentive.
492
00:29:17,996 --> 00:29:20,246
Never coming back to America?
493
00:29:20,912 --> 00:29:23,662
New York next month. I'll
see you the day I get in.
494
00:29:26,287 --> 00:29:27,371
Nice!
495
00:29:28,954 --> 00:29:30,204
What's up over there?
496
00:29:30,829 --> 00:29:32,662
What's London life like?
497
00:29:32,829 --> 00:29:35,287
Not very different
from 81st Street.
498
00:29:35,496 --> 00:29:36,746
Put it here.
499
00:29:37,621 --> 00:29:38,871
Thank you.
500
00:29:39,829 --> 00:29:40,871
Still writing?
501
00:29:41,037 --> 00:29:42,037
Yes.
502
00:29:42,412 --> 00:29:45,079
I thought you'd give
that up with any luck.
503
00:29:45,496 --> 00:29:48,329
No. With my
typewriter in my room.
504
00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:51,871
And in the evening, cultural
events, social events.
505
00:29:52,037 --> 00:29:53,412
Very insipid, very English.
506
00:29:53,746 --> 00:29:56,037
Social events are
called dinner parties.
507
00:29:56,287 --> 00:29:57,329
Yes.
508
00:29:57,704 --> 00:30:01,246
Trouble is, I get seated
by other men's wives.
509
00:30:01,621 --> 00:30:02,829
Of course.
510
00:30:03,662 --> 00:30:05,537
You know about
other men's wives?
511
00:30:05,746 --> 00:30:07,121
They're boring.
512
00:30:07,287 --> 00:30:08,287
Very.
513
00:30:08,621 --> 00:30:11,329
Unlike you when you
were another man's wife.
514
00:30:12,912 --> 00:30:14,204
Where's my book?
515
00:30:14,621 --> 00:30:15,704
What book?
516
00:30:15,871 --> 00:30:17,621
The book with me in it.
517
00:30:18,246 --> 00:30:20,454
I like that one!
518
00:30:21,496 --> 00:30:24,829
So do something interesting
I can stick in there!
519
00:30:26,287 --> 00:30:27,371
Me?
520
00:30:27,579 --> 00:30:29,454
I may be dying.
521
00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:32,371
You don't know that.
522
00:30:33,162 --> 00:30:34,537
I'll know Monday.
523
00:30:35,454 --> 00:30:37,787
I'll call Monday
for your results.
524
00:30:38,162 --> 00:30:42,389
Now I'm going to stop before
I utter more platitudes.
525
00:30:42,390 --> 00:30:43,390
Yes!
526
00:30:43,662 --> 00:30:45,746
When I hear platitudes,
527
00:30:46,371 --> 00:30:47,704
I prick up my ears!
528
00:30:48,162 --> 00:30:49,162
Indeed!
529
00:30:49,299 --> 00:30:50,299
Bye.
530
00:30:52,079 --> 00:30:53,329
Have a good day.
531
00:30:53,912 --> 00:30:55,079
Goodbye.
532
00:31:02,162 --> 00:31:05,496
Winter.
533
00:32:03,662 --> 00:32:04,662
Wait...
534
00:32:12,704 --> 00:32:14,246
I'll write them down.
535
00:32:14,621 --> 00:32:15,746
You begin.
536
00:32:15,954 --> 00:32:17,496
What's it called?
537
00:32:18,079 --> 00:32:20,621
I don't know. What
do we call it?
538
00:32:21,079 --> 00:32:24,537
"Questionnaire about dreaming
of fleeing together".
539
00:32:24,704 --> 00:32:26,371
Nice. "Questionnaire...
540
00:32:26,537 --> 00:32:28,996
"about lovers...
541
00:32:29,412 --> 00:32:31,746
lovers dreaming of
fleeing together".
542
00:32:31,912 --> 00:32:34,746
"Questionnaire about
lovers dreaming...
543
00:32:35,162 --> 00:32:37,621
middle-aged lovers
- fleeing together.
544
00:32:38,162 --> 00:32:40,121
- You're not middle-aged!
- I am!
545
00:32:40,287 --> 00:32:42,371
You seem young to me!
546
00:32:42,537 --> 00:32:44,829
Add that to the questionnaire.
547
00:32:50,579 --> 00:32:53,496
"Questionnaire about lovers
dreaming of fleeing together."
548
00:32:54,162 --> 00:32:56,037
"Fleeing together."
549
00:32:56,662 --> 00:32:57,954
You begin.
550
00:32:59,371 --> 00:33:02,662
First thing about me that
would get on your nerves?
551
00:33:03,662 --> 00:33:05,412
Are you a charming extrovert
552
00:33:05,829 --> 00:33:07,746
or a neurotic recluse?
553
00:33:08,454 --> 00:33:09,912
How long...
554
00:33:10,787 --> 00:33:14,246
before you're attracted
to another woman?
555
00:33:14,579 --> 00:33:16,287
Or you by a man?
556
00:33:17,704 --> 00:33:18,954
You mustn't get older.
557
00:33:20,579 --> 00:33:22,329
You think the same about me?
558
00:33:22,496 --> 00:33:24,037
How many men do you need?
559
00:33:25,412 --> 00:33:28,079
Are you entirely heterosexual?
560
00:33:33,496 --> 00:33:34,996
Do you have an idea
561
00:33:35,162 --> 00:33:37,412
of what interests you
in me? Be precise.
562
00:33:40,537 --> 00:33:41,954
Have you...
563
00:33:42,579 --> 00:33:43,787
ever lied to me?
564
00:33:43,954 --> 00:33:45,537
Do you tell lies?
565
00:33:46,287 --> 00:33:47,912
Are you against lying?
566
00:33:52,079 --> 00:33:55,787
Do you think that
being generous-minded
567
00:33:56,162 --> 00:33:57,787
is a sign of weakness?
568
00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:00,912
Do you care about being weak?
569
00:34:01,246 --> 00:34:03,246
And you, about being strong?
570
00:34:06,121 --> 00:34:08,954
How much money will
you let me spend?
571
00:34:09,121 --> 00:34:12,496
Would you let me have any
power over your money?
572
00:34:15,162 --> 00:34:17,329
How am I already
a disappointment?
573
00:34:19,496 --> 00:34:20,871
Are you going to die?
574
00:34:21,996 --> 00:34:25,329
Are you physically
and mentally sound?
575
00:34:29,829 --> 00:34:32,287
What are your real
feelings about Jews?
576
00:34:33,871 --> 00:34:37,787
How inept would you be if
my husband discovered us?
577
00:34:38,954 --> 00:34:40,496
If he came in now?
578
00:34:44,746 --> 00:34:45,746
Wait.
579
00:34:48,787 --> 00:34:50,954
Seventeen. Any more?
580
00:34:52,121 --> 00:34:53,371
I can't think of any.
581
00:34:53,537 --> 00:34:56,496
- I look forward to your answers.
- And I to yours.
582
00:34:59,496 --> 00:35:00,787
I do have one more.
583
00:35:01,204 --> 00:35:02,204
Yes?
584
00:35:02,371 --> 00:35:04,662
Do you like how I dress?
585
00:35:06,912 --> 00:35:08,704
That's straining.
586
00:35:10,329 --> 00:35:11,329
Bastard!
587
00:35:12,204 --> 00:35:14,037
Not at all straining.
588
00:35:16,079 --> 00:35:19,621
The more trivial the defect,
the more anger it inspires.
589
00:35:24,162 --> 00:35:25,371
One last question?
590
00:35:25,662 --> 00:35:26,912
I have it!
591
00:35:27,079 --> 00:35:28,412
The last question.
592
00:35:30,996 --> 00:35:32,537
Do you in any way,
593
00:35:33,037 --> 00:35:36,871
in the corner of your heart,
still harbor the illusion
594
00:35:37,996 --> 00:35:39,037
that marriage
595
00:35:39,996 --> 00:35:41,829
is a love affair?
596
00:35:42,162 --> 00:35:45,037
If so, it can cause
many problems.
597
00:35:46,829 --> 00:35:49,579
I hated being pregnant.
It drove me crazy.
598
00:35:51,162 --> 00:35:54,037
I made a fuss about
potential birth defects
599
00:35:54,204 --> 00:35:56,454
that went undetected
before delivery.
600
00:35:57,037 --> 00:35:58,287
I asked the doctors:
601
00:35:58,454 --> 00:36:02,121
"What if there's something
seriously wrong with the baby?"
602
00:36:02,537 --> 00:36:06,912
I was upset about a story on
the news just before I was due.
603
00:36:08,287 --> 00:36:10,662
About a woman with
a handicapped child.
604
00:36:11,829 --> 00:36:15,204
She stopped feeding
it, to kill it.
605
00:36:15,621 --> 00:36:17,454
The baby was adopted.
606
00:36:17,954 --> 00:36:20,121
Creeps get off on
others' misfortunes.
607
00:36:20,287 --> 00:36:21,621
You're not one?
608
00:36:21,871 --> 00:36:25,287
Are you? You don't even
want a healthy kid.
609
00:36:29,746 --> 00:36:32,871
One day, a doctor I
saw told me in secret
610
00:36:33,037 --> 00:36:36,912
you can suffocate a baby
with surgical swabs.
611
00:36:38,037 --> 00:36:40,871
I replied there must
be a less cruel way
612
00:36:41,037 --> 00:36:42,662
to get rid of a child.
613
00:36:43,329 --> 00:36:44,871
It worried me so.
614
00:36:49,164 --> 00:36:50,246
In England,
615
00:36:50,412 --> 00:36:53,787
if a woman commits a crime
within 6 weeks of childbirth,
616
00:36:53,954 --> 00:36:55,579
she won't go to court.
617
00:36:56,121 --> 00:36:57,287
I read this.
618
00:36:58,746 --> 00:37:02,121
Our law has a clause
stipulating that...
619
00:37:02,412 --> 00:37:05,287
during that time women
aren't sound of mind.
620
00:37:06,787 --> 00:37:09,621
You can kill your kid
and get away with it!
621
00:37:11,037 --> 00:37:13,662
You'd have to be
careful, but yes.
622
00:37:18,746 --> 00:37:20,204
Honestly...
623
00:37:23,662 --> 00:37:25,246
has the thought
624
00:37:25,787 --> 00:37:27,954
ever crossed your mind
625
00:37:28,579 --> 00:37:30,204
about jumping out a window?
626
00:37:33,287 --> 00:37:34,370
Yes.
627
00:37:34,371 --> 00:37:35,454
A lot?
628
00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:37,287
Sometimes.
629
00:37:38,704 --> 00:37:40,329
What stopped you?
630
00:37:42,621 --> 00:37:45,662
It isn't that I want to die,
631
00:37:47,037 --> 00:37:48,537
it's that I want to live.
632
00:37:50,787 --> 00:37:52,496
I want life to be better.
633
00:37:53,412 --> 00:37:56,246
So better to stay
in it a bit longer.
634
00:38:10,632 --> 00:38:12,048
You're not saying much.
635
00:38:12,798 --> 00:38:13,798
I'm listening.
636
00:38:14,340 --> 00:38:16,048
I'm an écouteur.
637
00:38:16,215 --> 00:38:18,382
I'm an audiophiliac.
638
00:38:18,548 --> 00:38:21,382
I'm a talk fetishist!
639
00:38:23,215 --> 00:38:24,340
Very erotic.
640
00:38:25,423 --> 00:38:28,382
You just sitting
there, listening.
641
00:38:36,590 --> 00:38:37,632
A new belt!
642
00:39:13,798 --> 00:39:17,340
Very cozy with you
on a snowy day.
643
00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:20,715
Lying like this, the
snow going round.
644
00:39:22,215 --> 00:39:23,882
Quite wonderful.
645
00:39:42,048 --> 00:39:43,257
Feel all right?
646
00:39:46,382 --> 00:39:47,548
Sweet...
647
00:39:48,298 --> 00:39:49,507
girl.
648
00:39:51,215 --> 00:39:52,673
What are you thinking?
649
00:39:53,090 --> 00:39:54,298
No thoughts.
650
00:39:56,090 --> 00:39:57,507
Is that nice?
651
00:39:59,215 --> 00:40:00,465
It's sublime.
652
00:40:02,507 --> 00:40:03,507
Sublime...
653
00:40:13,298 --> 00:40:14,965
Which do you prefer?
654
00:40:15,590 --> 00:40:17,382
I can't answer that question.
655
00:40:18,007 --> 00:40:20,840
But I want to know.
Which do you prefer?
656
00:40:21,006 --> 00:40:22,048
For fondling?
657
00:40:23,090 --> 00:40:26,090
The uncircumcised.
658
00:40:28,132 --> 00:40:30,923
It's interesting to move
the sheath over the head.
659
00:40:32,470 --> 00:40:33,470
Yes.
660
00:40:34,257 --> 00:40:35,507
And for fucking?
661
00:40:36,257 --> 00:40:39,590
Don't ask this of a nicely
brought-up English female.
662
00:40:39,923 --> 00:40:40,965
For fucking?
663
00:40:41,465 --> 00:40:42,757
For fucking...
664
00:40:43,507 --> 00:40:44,507
the circumcised.
665
00:40:49,007 --> 00:40:50,131
Why?
666
00:40:50,132 --> 00:40:51,840
It's like having it naked.
667
00:40:53,423 --> 00:40:54,965
The naked penis.
668
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:57,465
The naked penis.
669
00:40:58,882 --> 00:41:00,882
Naked penis.
670
00:41:01,340 --> 00:41:04,215
Why does everyone
hate Israel so much?
671
00:41:04,382 --> 00:41:05,882
Can you explain it to me?
672
00:41:06,132 --> 00:41:07,715
I think I'd be able to.
673
00:41:07,882 --> 00:41:08,882
Really?
674
00:41:09,465 --> 00:41:12,132
I have an argument
every time I go out.
675
00:41:12,298 --> 00:41:15,215
And I come home in a
fury and can't sleep.
676
00:41:16,548 --> 00:41:19,215
I'm allied with the planet's
two greatest scourges:
677
00:41:19,465 --> 00:41:20,632
you and you.
678
00:41:20,798 --> 00:41:22,465
Israel and America.
679
00:41:22,632 --> 00:41:25,132
Let's grant that Israel's
a terrible country...
680
00:41:25,298 --> 00:41:27,965
But I won't, I won't!
681
00:41:28,132 --> 00:41:30,507
But let's grant it. All right?
682
00:41:31,423 --> 00:41:34,590
Still, there are many
countries far more terrible.
683
00:41:35,007 --> 00:41:37,382
I've never understood it myself.
684
00:41:37,548 --> 00:41:41,923
It's one of the most curious
freaks in modern history.
685
00:41:42,090 --> 00:41:43,298
But why?
686
00:41:43,548 --> 00:41:44,548
Tell me.
687
00:41:45,257 --> 00:41:47,798
- Do you ever ask people?
- Yes, often.
688
00:41:47,965 --> 00:41:49,507
And what do they say?
689
00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:53,423
How they treat Arabs is the
greatest crime in human history?
690
00:41:53,590 --> 00:41:55,298
Sure, that's what they say!
691
00:41:55,465 --> 00:41:58,632
One of the most extraordinary
pieces of hypocrisy
692
00:41:58,798 --> 00:42:01,340
in the history of humanity!
693
00:42:06,048 --> 00:42:09,382
The Czech director.
694
00:42:09,715 --> 00:42:11,798
Olina meets me at the airport.
695
00:42:11,965 --> 00:42:14,798
I bring her a Laura
Ashley dress. Perfume.
696
00:42:15,007 --> 00:42:17,923
She kisses me. There's
dinner waiting.
697
00:42:18,215 --> 00:42:19,590
Then the door opens.
698
00:42:19,757 --> 00:42:23,382
A six-foot Black man.
Shoes for 200 dollars.
699
00:42:23,757 --> 00:42:25,465
Gold necklace, gold ring.
700
00:42:26,298 --> 00:42:28,007
"This is Andrew.
701
00:42:28,382 --> 00:42:30,548
Can he live in the spare room?"
702
00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:34,465
"There's no future
for all of us here."
703
00:42:34,632 --> 00:42:36,715
Her: "Can he stay for dinner?"
704
00:42:36,965 --> 00:42:39,840
It's my first night
back, but okay.
705
00:42:40,215 --> 00:42:44,298
You can't tell a Black man:
"No you can't stay for dinner."
706
00:42:46,590 --> 00:42:50,215
The next morning,
my Olinka tells me:
707
00:42:50,382 --> 00:42:52,507
"I love him. I
want to marry him."
708
00:42:52,673 --> 00:42:55,715
I was close to buying
a hunting rifle.
709
00:42:55,882 --> 00:42:58,715
Not a shotgun, a
fucking hunting rifle.
710
00:42:59,215 --> 00:43:00,548
I had a heart attack.
711
00:43:01,298 --> 00:43:03,423
Terrible chest pains.
712
00:43:04,548 --> 00:43:07,590
A week in the hospital,
it cost me a fortune.
713
00:43:08,673 --> 00:43:12,340
My lawyer laughs: "You and
your wife got a joint account!"
714
00:43:12,715 --> 00:43:13,798
You couldn't have?
715
00:43:13,965 --> 00:43:15,215
I trusted her!
716
00:43:15,632 --> 00:43:17,548
She was a little Czech girl!
717
00:43:17,715 --> 00:43:18,965
Look at her.
718
00:43:19,715 --> 00:43:21,965
Not an American bitch!
719
00:43:22,715 --> 00:43:24,465
Ivan, I'm American...
720
00:43:24,632 --> 00:43:27,007
This girl, a Catholic,
was a virgin!
721
00:43:27,173 --> 00:43:29,798
She went to bed in
a long nightdress.
722
00:43:29,965 --> 00:43:31,548
Never had an orgasm.
723
00:43:31,715 --> 00:43:34,423
I'm not young, but
I'm a good worker.
724
00:43:34,590 --> 00:43:36,465
Nothing! Impossible!
725
00:43:36,632 --> 00:43:38,257
Now she wants to divorce.
726
00:43:38,423 --> 00:43:41,423
She loves that man, she
suffers a great deal.
727
00:43:41,590 --> 00:43:43,632
Okay, fine, perfect!
728
00:43:43,798 --> 00:43:46,757
But he didn't fuck
her like you did.
729
00:43:47,215 --> 00:43:48,298
He fucked her for fucking.
730
00:43:48,465 --> 00:43:51,257
You're more interested in
listening than fucking.
731
00:43:51,923 --> 00:43:53,507
I never fucked Olina.
732
00:43:54,090 --> 00:43:56,173
You're lying to me, my friend.
733
00:43:56,340 --> 00:43:58,715
She's lying, if she said that.
734
00:43:59,298 --> 00:44:01,090
Fucked her 4 times in New York.
735
00:44:01,257 --> 00:44:04,382
When we were such good friends
after I came from Prague.
736
00:44:04,548 --> 00:44:06,215
Not even once!
737
00:44:06,382 --> 00:44:08,548
Stop! Olina told me everything!
738
00:44:08,715 --> 00:44:11,215
"Why does he ask
irritating questions?"
739
00:44:11,382 --> 00:44:12,507
Stop, it's not true!
740
00:44:12,882 --> 00:44:15,548
Deceitful bastard! You
can't resist a story
741
00:44:15,715 --> 00:44:18,715
even from the wife of
this refugee friend.
742
00:44:18,882 --> 00:44:21,548
It limits you as a
friend and as a novelist.
743
00:44:22,173 --> 00:44:23,507
My books stink too?
744
00:44:23,673 --> 00:44:26,632
- Ivan, they're waiting...
- No, get lost.
745
00:44:27,298 --> 00:44:28,632
Don't shout at her!
746
00:44:29,382 --> 00:44:31,507
What did you
expect, you bastard?
747
00:44:31,673 --> 00:44:35,132
That I'd help perfect your
lousy art after you banged her?
748
00:44:35,423 --> 00:44:37,173
Insult me if you like!
749
00:44:37,340 --> 00:44:38,673
You insist on playing dumb.
750
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,382
Look at you! You're
not even sweating.
751
00:44:41,548 --> 00:44:45,840
Yeah, a great actor! But
what a terrible novelist.
752
00:44:46,007 --> 00:44:48,798
I'm not sweating because
none of this is true.
753
00:44:48,965 --> 00:44:51,298
When I'm guilty,
I'm an awful actor!
754
00:44:51,465 --> 00:44:52,882
Believe me,
755
00:44:53,048 --> 00:44:54,757
I out-sweat Nixon!
756
00:44:55,965 --> 00:44:58,007
Stop with this... Stop.
757
00:44:58,507 --> 00:45:01,798
Her leaving you is
obviously killing you.
758
00:45:02,048 --> 00:45:05,757
It's awful. And professionally,
things haven't worked out here.
759
00:45:06,007 --> 00:45:07,257
And now you lose Olina.
760
00:45:07,423 --> 00:45:10,215
Since the first time we all met,
761
00:45:10,382 --> 00:45:11,715
you've been ogling her.
762
00:45:11,882 --> 00:45:15,132
Yes, I ogled her!
She's young and pretty.
763
00:45:15,340 --> 00:45:17,757
But ogling isn't fucking!
764
00:45:17,923 --> 00:45:20,048
You American shitface.
765
00:45:20,340 --> 00:45:21,923
Pampered little liar!
766
00:45:22,798 --> 00:45:25,548
Put that down! You'll
have another heart attack!
767
00:45:25,798 --> 00:45:27,715
Don't worry, American boy.
768
00:45:27,882 --> 00:45:30,048
I won't shoot you
in the trousers.
769
00:45:30,215 --> 00:45:31,715
There's no cause to!
770
00:45:32,007 --> 00:45:34,632
No, I'll shoot you in the ears.
771
00:45:36,923 --> 00:45:40,257
The governor's pardon.
772
00:45:49,132 --> 00:45:51,423
Yes it's me. How did it go?
773
00:45:57,882 --> 00:45:58,882
A miracle...
774
00:45:59,048 --> 00:46:00,172
No!
775
00:46:00,173 --> 00:46:01,199
Yes!
776
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:02,200
No!
777
00:46:02,757 --> 00:46:04,548
It's a miracle!
778
00:46:07,590 --> 00:46:09,423
Tell me about the miracle.
779
00:46:11,465 --> 00:46:15,090
The tomography showed
no sign of pathology.
780
00:46:16,173 --> 00:46:19,382
So this thing which
was incredibly virulent
781
00:46:19,548 --> 00:46:21,882
is responding to the treatment.
782
00:46:22,173 --> 00:46:24,423
- This is wonderful!
- Yes, wait.
783
00:46:24,590 --> 00:46:27,298
The doctor's pleased.
He'd given me a year.
784
00:46:27,465 --> 00:46:28,965
The prognostic has changed!
785
00:46:29,132 --> 00:46:30,132
Phew!
786
00:46:30,340 --> 00:46:31,382
Phew!
787
00:46:31,632 --> 00:46:32,923
As you say.
788
00:46:33,173 --> 00:46:34,715
You did all right.
789
00:46:36,007 --> 00:46:38,007
Yeah, I did all right.
790
00:46:39,132 --> 00:46:41,007
Know what this is called?
791
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:44,132
The governor's pardon.
792
00:46:44,507 --> 00:46:45,965
But who's the governor?
793
00:46:46,132 --> 00:46:47,298
No idea!
794
00:46:47,465 --> 00:46:50,882
But clearly I must
stay on his good side.
795
00:46:52,632 --> 00:46:54,715
A tomography of your whole body?
796
00:46:56,132 --> 00:46:57,132
No.
797
00:46:57,590 --> 00:46:59,673
From the groin to the heart.
798
00:47:00,340 --> 00:47:01,965
And the doctor said
799
00:47:02,673 --> 00:47:05,548
if there was a
tumor anywhere else,
800
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:08,715
there'd be a liquid, a
shadow, in that area,
801
00:47:09,132 --> 00:47:10,382
the starting area.
802
00:47:10,632 --> 00:47:11,715
It's called...
803
00:47:12,798 --> 00:47:15,257
"the preferred path"
of these cancers.
804
00:47:15,423 --> 00:47:16,673
Know about that?
805
00:47:17,340 --> 00:47:19,632
"The Preferred Path".
806
00:47:21,590 --> 00:47:22,965
Unbelievable.
807
00:47:24,132 --> 00:47:27,673
This is terrific,
this is terrific news!
808
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:28,840
Yes!
809
00:47:29,882 --> 00:47:32,007
It's been quite a day.
810
00:47:35,798 --> 00:47:37,090
I was scared.
811
00:47:38,132 --> 00:47:39,673
I was so scared.
812
00:47:42,965 --> 00:47:46,715
I thought there
might be something...
813
00:47:48,715 --> 00:47:50,882
hideous in my nature
814
00:47:53,298 --> 00:47:56,757
that would make me
weep at the news.
815
00:47:59,298 --> 00:48:01,840
You're entitled to any reaction.
816
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:06,340
No preferred paths
817
00:48:06,507 --> 00:48:07,965
for emotions.
818
00:48:09,007 --> 00:48:11,007
So now I'll say goodbye.
819
00:48:11,882 --> 00:48:12,882
Already?
820
00:48:14,340 --> 00:48:16,132
What more is there to say?
821
00:48:16,548 --> 00:48:18,590
I knew you'd react like this.
822
00:48:19,757 --> 00:48:21,465
- Come on.- No!
823
00:48:21,632 --> 00:48:24,257
We must remain friends.
824
00:48:25,882 --> 00:48:27,632
Old friends.
825
00:48:29,548 --> 00:48:32,965
Anyway, I'm not completely
out of the woods.
826
00:48:33,132 --> 00:48:36,173
So you can still be
a little nice to me.
827
00:48:37,507 --> 00:48:39,882
And once you're
out of the woods?
828
00:48:40,507 --> 00:48:42,715
Then you can be yourself.
829
00:48:43,038 --> 00:48:44,090
All right.
830
00:48:44,965 --> 00:48:46,048
All right.
831
00:48:49,465 --> 00:48:50,673
Have a good day.
832
00:48:52,590 --> 00:48:53,757
Goodnight.
833
00:48:56,298 --> 00:48:59,632
Winter sports.
834
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:22,173
Remember me?
835
00:49:23,007 --> 00:49:24,257
It's coming back.
836
00:49:25,215 --> 00:49:26,257
Slowly.
837
00:49:26,423 --> 00:49:28,048
Take your time.
838
00:49:31,923 --> 00:49:33,048
You got thinner?
839
00:49:34,423 --> 00:49:36,048
You got used to someone fatter.
840
00:49:39,007 --> 00:49:41,090
It's great to see you.
841
00:49:45,590 --> 00:49:47,923
I wish you could
have come skiing.
842
00:49:48,090 --> 00:49:49,465
It's so peaceful.
843
00:49:49,882 --> 00:49:53,173
Going up the hill very
quietly on the lift.
844
00:49:53,423 --> 00:49:55,965
- You're with me on many mountains.
- Me?
845
00:49:56,132 --> 00:49:57,965
Yes, while riding the T-bar.
846
00:49:58,257 --> 00:50:00,132
Me and the hiss of the T-bar.
847
00:50:00,507 --> 00:50:01,632
That's right.
848
00:50:09,923 --> 00:50:11,465
Everything's right at home?
849
00:50:11,632 --> 00:50:13,340
Yes, perfect.
850
00:50:14,382 --> 00:50:17,590
Nothing better for a marriage
than an old boyfriend nearby.
851
00:50:22,298 --> 00:50:23,798
Is that what you think?
852
00:50:26,715 --> 00:50:29,840
Mother taught me never
to sit cunt exposed.
853
00:50:30,007 --> 00:50:32,215
And legs over a man's shoulders?
854
00:50:32,590 --> 00:50:34,132
She never mentioned that.
855
00:50:34,423 --> 00:50:37,048
I don't think she had any idea
856
00:50:37,340 --> 00:50:38,882
I'd go in for that.
857
00:50:39,173 --> 00:50:40,382
Smell this.
858
00:50:45,673 --> 00:50:47,257
It really smells good.
859
00:51:14,632 --> 00:51:15,673
You all right?
860
00:51:17,298 --> 00:51:19,882
I'm going to have another
birthday tomorrow.
861
00:51:20,048 --> 00:51:22,673
- Not again?
- Yes. No way around it.
862
00:51:23,007 --> 00:51:25,340
Subtract 1929 from 1988,
863
00:51:25,507 --> 00:51:27,215
you get 59.
864
00:51:28,173 --> 00:51:29,673
Why take it so hard?
865
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:30,882
Listen to you!
866
00:51:31,882 --> 00:51:34,840
You piss and moan
about being 34.
867
00:51:35,132 --> 00:51:37,590
I know why I take it so hard.
868
00:51:37,757 --> 00:51:38,840
But you?
869
00:51:40,215 --> 00:51:42,173
Because life will be over soon.
870
00:51:44,298 --> 00:51:45,507
I'll be dead.
871
00:51:48,507 --> 00:51:49,548
There you go.
872
00:51:52,715 --> 00:51:53,965
Vodka?
873
00:51:54,507 --> 00:51:56,507
Why do these Slavs come see you?
874
00:51:56,673 --> 00:51:58,590
Because I like them.
875
00:51:58,757 --> 00:52:00,840
Really? More than the English?
876
00:52:01,132 --> 00:52:02,215
Why?
877
00:52:02,465 --> 00:52:04,298
Because they suffer so much?
878
00:52:06,590 --> 00:52:07,798
You know,
879
00:52:08,798 --> 00:52:13,340
displaced persons have things to
say. Sometimes you can lend a hand.
880
00:52:14,090 --> 00:52:16,590
Soft spot for victims?
From being Jewish?
881
00:52:16,757 --> 00:52:19,798
I don't see myself
as a Jewish victim!
882
00:52:20,173 --> 00:52:22,965
You're among the few
Jews born in this century
883
00:52:23,132 --> 00:52:26,423
who miraculously
escaped the horror.
884
00:52:26,632 --> 00:52:30,298
So those who didn't escape,
Jewish or not, fascinate you.
885
00:52:30,465 --> 00:52:31,965
They don't fascinate you?
886
00:52:32,215 --> 00:52:33,257
I'm curious,
887
00:52:33,423 --> 00:52:36,923
but never would I go on
holiday in those countries,
888
00:52:37,090 --> 00:52:38,173
I must admit.
889
00:52:38,548 --> 00:52:40,340
How did get you get into that?
890
00:52:40,548 --> 00:52:41,840
By accident.
891
00:52:42,090 --> 00:52:44,632
I'd finished a book,
I was traveling.
892
00:52:44,882 --> 00:52:47,007
It was '71.
893
00:52:47,382 --> 00:52:50,590
My friend and I drove
from Vienna to Prague.
894
00:52:52,548 --> 00:52:55,423
I walked around a
bit and I felt good.
895
00:52:55,590 --> 00:52:59,632
I had a publisher there, so I
figured I may as well meet him.
896
00:52:59,798 --> 00:53:01,965
Next day, I go and
introduce myself.
897
00:53:02,132 --> 00:53:03,632
And the director
898
00:53:03,798 --> 00:53:06,632
gathers all his staff around me
899
00:53:06,798 --> 00:53:09,090
to toast me with slivovitz.
900
00:53:09,257 --> 00:53:11,173
They were already plastered.
901
00:53:11,340 --> 00:53:14,257
Then an employee comes
and whispers to me:
902
00:53:14,423 --> 00:53:16,132
"Our director is a swine!
903
00:53:16,298 --> 00:53:18,715
He'll go rat on
us to the regime."
904
00:53:18,965 --> 00:53:21,882
I found that extraordinary
and I felt even better.
905
00:53:22,048 --> 00:53:23,923
A thousand stories later,
906
00:53:24,382 --> 00:53:28,090
I got corralled on the
street by the police.
907
00:53:28,257 --> 00:53:29,632
This was in '75.
908
00:53:29,798 --> 00:53:32,257
By then, I was used
to cops tailing me,
909
00:53:32,423 --> 00:53:34,757
especially when
visiting writer friends.
910
00:53:35,132 --> 00:53:36,798
But it was the spring,
911
00:53:36,965 --> 00:53:40,923
two police approached me in
the street and asked for ID.
912
00:53:42,298 --> 00:53:45,590
I showed them my
passport, visa, hotel form
913
00:53:45,757 --> 00:53:48,673
and they declared I
must go to precinct.
914
00:53:49,132 --> 00:53:51,382
Then I saw a trolley stop
915
00:53:51,715 --> 00:53:53,048
a few feet away.
916
00:53:53,465 --> 00:53:54,965
I start shouting:
917
00:53:55,548 --> 00:53:59,382
"I'm being harassed
by the police!
918
00:53:59,548 --> 00:54:03,507
I demand to be taken to
the American Embassy."
919
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:06,257
The cop repeats:
"Come to station."
920
00:54:06,423 --> 00:54:09,382
He spoke in Czech but I
got the fucking drift.
921
00:54:09,548 --> 00:54:11,673
I refused to move,
I kept shouting.
922
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:13,340
It went on for 15 minutes.
923
00:54:13,507 --> 00:54:14,882
"No! No! No!"
924
00:54:15,215 --> 00:54:17,340
The uniformed cop
went up the street
925
00:54:17,507 --> 00:54:20,423
to ask a plainclothes cop there.
926
00:54:20,590 --> 00:54:23,923
Just then, a trolley
stops at the station.
927
00:54:24,090 --> 00:54:27,715
I think: "Why wait to get
arrested? I'm stupid!"
928
00:54:27,965 --> 00:54:29,548
I jump on the trolley.
929
00:54:29,965 --> 00:54:33,757
My heart's pounding,
I'm covered in sweat.
930
00:54:33,965 --> 00:54:36,465
I change trolleys,
run down streets.
931
00:54:36,632 --> 00:54:38,798
I get back to my hotel, shaking.
932
00:54:39,382 --> 00:54:41,423
I call my Czech friend.
933
00:54:41,757 --> 00:54:45,298
And my friend bursts
out laughing. He says:
934
00:54:45,465 --> 00:54:49,673
"The police only want to
harass you. They scared you."
935
00:54:52,673 --> 00:54:55,298
Never again did I get a
visa for Czechoslovakia.
936
00:54:56,132 --> 00:54:57,923
The evening I left,
937
00:54:58,423 --> 00:55:02,548
they arrested my friend,
interrogated him all night long.
938
00:55:03,257 --> 00:55:06,507
"Why does this writer keep
coming to Czechoslovakia?"
939
00:55:06,673 --> 00:55:07,757
Answer, you dickwad!
940
00:55:07,923 --> 00:55:09,757
Why does he come to Prague?
941
00:55:09,923 --> 00:55:12,215
Haven't you read his books?
942
00:55:13,173 --> 00:55:15,465
He comes to Czechoslovakia
943
00:55:15,757 --> 00:55:17,590
for the girls!
944
00:55:19,382 --> 00:55:20,423
For the girls.
945
00:55:22,090 --> 00:55:23,215
Was that true?
946
00:55:23,382 --> 00:55:25,840
No, Czech jokes attracted me.
947
00:55:26,007 --> 00:55:28,298
In England, it's
the girls I'm into.
948
00:55:37,173 --> 00:55:39,673
I feel like I don't
have a cunt today.
949
00:55:40,090 --> 00:55:42,215
I left it at home.
Don't bring it up.
950
00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:44,048
Okay.
951
00:55:45,507 --> 00:55:47,840
- You want me to go?
- Hardly.
952
00:55:50,090 --> 00:55:51,882
Are you near tears again?
953
00:55:52,715 --> 00:55:54,340
Yes, I feel teary.
954
00:55:55,673 --> 00:55:56,923
Can I eat something?
955
00:55:58,340 --> 00:56:02,173
I have strawberries,
melons, wine, some bread.
956
00:56:02,382 --> 00:56:03,798
Even marijuana.
957
00:56:04,923 --> 00:56:06,590
A little of each, please?
958
00:56:06,757 --> 00:56:08,007
Of course!
959
00:56:24,678 --> 00:56:27,344
Imagine I die and,
going through my notes,
960
00:56:27,761 --> 00:56:30,803
a biographer comes across
your name. He asks you:
961
00:56:31,178 --> 00:56:32,594
Did you know him?
962
00:56:33,178 --> 00:56:35,011
Would you talk to him?
963
00:56:36,261 --> 00:56:38,219
It depends how...
964
00:56:38,636 --> 00:56:40,636
how intelligent he is.
965
00:56:40,803 --> 00:56:44,469
And if he's someone
really serious.
966
00:56:45,386 --> 00:56:48,136
He liked you a lot,
I can tell you that.
967
00:56:48,344 --> 00:56:50,553
Can you tell me
something about him?
968
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:51,969
Why are you doing this?
969
00:56:52,261 --> 00:56:54,511
I'm curious. What would you say?
970
00:56:54,803 --> 00:56:56,219
He wrote none of his books.
971
00:56:56,386 --> 00:56:58,678
A series of
mistresses wrote them.
972
00:56:58,886 --> 00:57:00,678
I wrote the last two.
973
00:57:00,844 --> 00:57:05,178
Look, Miss, you're very
sweet and very pretty.
974
00:57:05,344 --> 00:57:07,636
But you're not
telling me the truth.
975
00:57:08,428 --> 00:57:12,011
What kind of affair
did you have with him?
976
00:57:12,386 --> 00:57:13,719
Very occasional.
977
00:57:14,178 --> 00:57:16,219
- Was he in love with you?
- No.
978
00:57:16,386 --> 00:57:18,678
He'd want to know
what you were like.
979
00:57:18,844 --> 00:57:20,886
Or what I thought you were like.
980
00:57:21,219 --> 00:57:22,636
I'd be wonderful on that.
981
00:57:22,803 --> 00:57:23,803
Would you?
982
00:57:24,719 --> 00:57:26,428
So what's the answer?
983
00:57:27,011 --> 00:57:28,636
There's no short answer.
984
00:57:28,969 --> 00:57:32,386
You were about to tell me
what kind of man he was.
985
00:57:32,761 --> 00:57:33,844
I won't tell you.
986
00:57:34,219 --> 00:57:37,303
Even if I did, you wouldn't
put it in the book.
987
00:57:37,469 --> 00:57:39,094
What was he like to you?
988
00:57:39,261 --> 00:57:40,678
He was...
989
00:57:42,719 --> 00:57:43,832
very nice.
990
00:57:48,469 --> 00:57:49,928
Can we stop?
991
00:57:50,553 --> 00:57:52,261
No, not yet.
992
00:57:53,594 --> 00:57:56,428
Did you go to the funeral?
993
00:57:58,094 --> 00:58:02,511
Thank God, it was in the morning.
My beloved husband gets home late.
994
00:58:03,011 --> 00:58:06,178
So as not to be alone, I
took my child to the park.
995
00:58:07,469 --> 00:58:09,094
Had I gone to the cemetery,
996
00:58:09,386 --> 00:58:11,969
I couldn't have
shared it with anyone.
997
00:58:12,636 --> 00:58:14,469
There, it would have been
998
00:58:14,886 --> 00:58:17,511
his family, his
friends, his wife.
999
00:58:19,261 --> 00:58:22,053
A Jewish funeral
which I don't think
1000
00:58:22,219 --> 00:58:23,511
he really wanted.
1001
00:58:23,678 --> 00:58:25,053
Can we stop now?
1002
00:58:25,344 --> 00:58:27,219
You're on fire, go on!
1003
00:58:27,386 --> 00:58:29,928
What did he love so about you?
1004
00:58:30,094 --> 00:58:32,386
Drop the "so" and I'll answer.
1005
00:58:33,136 --> 00:58:34,553
Okay, dropped.
1006
00:58:35,928 --> 00:58:39,469
I was young, I was
needy, I was there.
1007
00:58:40,053 --> 00:58:42,094
Not very different
from his wives,
1008
00:58:42,761 --> 00:58:44,136
but I was English.
1009
00:58:44,469 --> 00:58:45,678
And that...
1010
00:58:45,969 --> 00:58:48,386
made me a little foreign to him.
1011
00:58:49,428 --> 00:58:51,136
He liked the way I spoke.
1012
00:58:51,303 --> 00:58:53,719
Since his death, are you better?
1013
00:59:01,178 --> 00:59:02,553
Come, come...
1014
00:59:12,261 --> 00:59:13,761
Just fair...
1015
00:59:19,761 --> 00:59:23,219
My life began again
for good, the day.
1016
00:59:23,844 --> 00:59:26,136
I gave up on him.
1017
00:59:29,011 --> 00:59:30,803
I felt much better.
1018
00:59:31,678 --> 00:59:33,553
But living this...
1019
00:59:34,469 --> 00:59:37,011
reliving this, in front of you,
1020
00:59:37,178 --> 00:59:39,553
in such a cold way,
1021
00:59:40,178 --> 00:59:41,678
fills me with sorrow.
1022
00:59:43,094 --> 00:59:45,053
For me, those times...
1023
00:59:45,969 --> 00:59:47,136
were tremendous.
1024
00:59:47,969 --> 00:59:50,094
Marvelous. I love you.
1025
00:59:51,844 --> 00:59:53,219
You should be the writer.
1026
00:59:53,386 --> 00:59:54,428
No.
1027
00:59:57,178 --> 00:59:59,761
I know what I'm in for.
You have no scruples.
1028
01:00:23,636 --> 01:00:25,011
You're a friend?
1029
01:00:25,886 --> 01:00:28,136
Great. Have a nice day.
1030
01:00:39,553 --> 01:00:41,136
I dozed off.
1031
01:00:41,303 --> 01:00:42,303
Yes.
1032
01:00:48,678 --> 01:00:50,303
I dreamt about you.
1033
01:00:52,511 --> 01:00:55,469
It was the most wonderful dream.
1034
01:00:56,428 --> 01:00:58,886
The essence of you, my dear.
1035
01:00:59,469 --> 01:01:01,261
Can you speak louder?
1036
01:01:02,344 --> 01:01:04,719
I dreamt about you.
1037
01:01:07,969 --> 01:01:10,261
It's hard to say these things.
1038
01:01:10,428 --> 01:01:13,011
That's why your
voice is so soft.
1039
01:01:13,636 --> 01:01:16,428
What happened to
us in your dream?
1040
01:01:17,511 --> 01:01:19,344
Like in days of yore?
1041
01:01:19,761 --> 01:01:20,761
Better.
1042
01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:22,803
Must have been some dream.
1043
01:01:24,261 --> 01:01:25,386
Yes.
1044
01:01:26,386 --> 01:01:28,303
I was very in love with you.
1045
01:01:28,803 --> 01:01:30,719
- Are you sure?
- Yes!
1046
01:01:34,136 --> 01:01:35,469
I must say...
1047
01:01:37,136 --> 01:01:38,803
that helps.
1048
01:01:41,219 --> 01:01:43,636
It's wonderful seeing you.
1049
01:01:48,261 --> 01:01:52,761
I wish you'd had the
same lovely dream I did.
1050
01:01:53,178 --> 01:01:54,511
Write it out.
1051
01:01:55,094 --> 01:01:57,969
That way I can stick it
in the book about you.
1052
01:01:58,678 --> 01:02:00,053
Don't be silly!
1053
01:02:00,511 --> 01:02:02,844
I'm not laying
myself on the line.
1054
01:02:08,553 --> 01:02:10,219
You seem shaky.
1055
01:02:11,178 --> 01:02:13,594
I had chemo this morning.
1056
01:02:14,678 --> 01:02:17,261
Then I have that
god-awful operation.
1057
01:02:17,678 --> 01:02:20,053
The after-effects
are pretty grim.
1058
01:02:21,344 --> 01:02:23,094
Why does it get worse?
1059
01:02:23,594 --> 01:02:26,761
Because the poison is
here, on the inside.
1060
01:02:29,678 --> 01:02:31,636
When do you get out?
1061
01:02:32,386 --> 01:02:33,678
Tomorrow morning.
1062
01:02:33,844 --> 01:02:36,594
They just throw
you out, I swear.
1063
01:02:37,344 --> 01:02:39,303
Then I go home...
1064
01:02:39,761 --> 01:02:41,803
and sleep 14 hours straight.
1065
01:02:43,928 --> 01:02:45,344
You're pale...
1066
01:02:45,803 --> 01:02:47,344
and you're thin.
1067
01:02:48,219 --> 01:02:49,553
You are.
1068
01:02:50,178 --> 01:02:51,428
I wish I were thin.
1069
01:02:51,761 --> 01:02:53,969
I look bursting with health.
1070
01:02:54,136 --> 01:02:57,761
I lose my hair, but
otherwise I look great.
1071
01:03:00,011 --> 01:03:02,886
You lose your hair.
You'll wear a wig.
1072
01:03:03,136 --> 01:03:04,844
No... never.
1073
01:03:05,178 --> 01:03:07,928
I prefer these
hideous babushkas.
1074
01:03:09,803 --> 01:03:11,469
Your hair will grow back.
1075
01:03:12,886 --> 01:03:13,886
Yes?
1076
01:03:15,094 --> 01:03:17,428
- It needs help.
- You look good.
1077
01:03:17,594 --> 01:03:20,428
That must mean something.
1078
01:03:25,344 --> 01:03:26,344
Yes.
1079
01:03:26,511 --> 01:03:28,428
That I won't die immediately.
1080
01:03:29,386 --> 01:03:32,261
No but... the worst
nightmare is that...
1081
01:03:33,344 --> 01:03:36,636
a surprise awaits the
doctors when they open me up.
1082
01:03:36,844 --> 01:03:39,386
That they'll see
I'm full of tumors.
1083
01:03:39,553 --> 01:03:42,303
- Is that possible?
- I don't think so.
1084
01:03:42,844 --> 01:03:44,803
I don't think I should die.
1085
01:03:44,969 --> 01:03:46,303
You won't.
1086
01:03:50,469 --> 01:03:52,303
You said that in my dream!
1087
01:03:53,551 --> 01:03:54,553
See?
1088
01:03:54,719 --> 01:03:57,344
I can't be wrong
twice in 24 hours.
1089
01:03:58,178 --> 01:04:00,678
- Say that again.
- I can't be wrong.
1090
01:04:01,969 --> 01:04:02,969
Again!
1091
01:04:03,094 --> 01:04:04,803
You're not going to die.
1092
01:04:07,469 --> 01:04:08,719
One last time.
1093
01:04:11,469 --> 01:04:14,303
You're not going to die.
You're going to live!
1094
01:04:17,428 --> 01:04:18,678
Thank you.
1095
01:04:32,011 --> 01:04:33,178
How are you?
1096
01:04:34,678 --> 01:04:35,719
Not bad.
1097
01:04:37,261 --> 01:04:40,136
What's become of the
star of my seminar?
1098
01:04:41,594 --> 01:04:45,344
I can't seem to
communicate to people.
1099
01:04:45,511 --> 01:04:46,511
There.
1100
01:04:47,136 --> 01:04:48,553
That's how I am.
1101
01:04:49,136 --> 01:04:50,469
- You?
- Yes.
1102
01:04:51,928 --> 01:04:55,553
It's frightening. I can't
seem to remember the past.
1103
01:04:55,761 --> 01:04:57,633
I remember you very vaguely.
1104
01:04:57,634 --> 01:04:58,754
Sorry.
1105
01:04:59,053 --> 01:05:00,053
It's because.
1106
01:05:00,469 --> 01:05:03,928
I had shock therapy.
It made it worse.
1107
01:05:04,094 --> 01:05:05,136
What therapy?
1108
01:05:05,303 --> 01:05:07,886
It was actually pretty pleasant.
1109
01:05:08,969 --> 01:05:11,094
They give you sodium pentothal.
1110
01:05:11,511 --> 01:05:15,719
You're out. When you come
around, you're groggy.
1111
01:05:16,594 --> 01:05:19,178
They didn't do
much, twice a week.
1112
01:05:19,761 --> 01:05:21,053
I wasn't frightened.
1113
01:05:21,678 --> 01:05:23,719
I'm waiting for something...
1114
01:05:24,136 --> 01:05:25,969
an energy, to come back.
1115
01:05:31,719 --> 01:05:34,303
Actually, I feel... nothing.
1116
01:05:34,928 --> 01:05:37,636
When I speak to
people, it's kind of...
1117
01:05:38,136 --> 01:05:39,428
a downer.
1118
01:05:39,761 --> 01:05:42,094
I need to make a huge effort.
1119
01:05:42,428 --> 01:05:44,428
Like right now with you.
1120
01:05:45,219 --> 01:05:46,344
Excuse me.
1121
01:05:49,261 --> 01:05:51,469
Philip, can I have an ashtray?
1122
01:05:59,803 --> 01:06:01,011
Are you on meds?
1123
01:06:01,178 --> 01:06:04,053
I was depressed. They
gave me a combination.
1124
01:06:04,344 --> 01:06:05,511
I don't like that.
1125
01:06:05,678 --> 01:06:07,178
They said that...
1126
01:06:09,761 --> 01:06:12,844
the pills were all
compatible, but with me...
1127
01:06:13,094 --> 01:06:14,511
no such luck.
1128
01:06:15,094 --> 01:06:16,636
Very bad reaction.
1129
01:06:17,469 --> 01:06:19,261
I became extremely paranoid.
1130
01:06:19,428 --> 01:06:21,428
So, re-hospitalized!
1131
01:06:22,386 --> 01:06:25,594
I thought the exam room
was a torture chamber.
1132
01:06:26,053 --> 01:06:29,469
I remember they came into
my room with a paper.
1133
01:06:29,636 --> 01:06:32,678
And they said: "Will you please
1134
01:06:33,011 --> 01:06:35,886
sign this paper saying
you killed your mother?"
1135
01:06:36,678 --> 01:06:38,178
I threw fits.
1136
01:06:39,844 --> 01:06:41,636
How can you ask me to sign that?
1137
01:06:41,803 --> 01:06:43,219
How dare you?
1138
01:06:44,136 --> 01:06:45,553
It was in September.
1139
01:06:46,303 --> 01:06:47,928
It was a hallucination.
1140
01:06:51,469 --> 01:06:54,553
Now I'm on an antipsychotic
to prevent it.
1141
01:06:55,678 --> 01:06:57,761
A small dose, but still...
1142
01:06:58,219 --> 01:07:00,261
What demolished you like this?
1143
01:07:00,844 --> 01:07:02,761
You were fine when I knew you.
1144
01:07:03,886 --> 01:07:05,803
Intellectually stubborn,
1145
01:07:05,969 --> 01:07:07,219
very shrewd.
1146
01:07:07,636 --> 01:07:11,178
Great flair in those black
outfits, very Hamlet.
1147
01:07:11,469 --> 01:07:13,094
Your student pallor.
1148
01:07:13,386 --> 01:07:15,844
Does this now
describe your burden?
1149
01:07:16,011 --> 01:07:18,053
That's what you
said 5 years ago.
1150
01:07:19,553 --> 01:07:22,428
When you took me to that
restaurant on 3rd Avenue.
1151
01:07:23,011 --> 01:07:25,511
I remember the dinner,
not what we said.
1152
01:07:26,136 --> 01:07:29,303
You wished me luck,
said I'd need it.
1153
01:07:29,553 --> 01:07:30,678
Why?
1154
01:07:33,386 --> 01:07:36,553
Because some people might
find me irresistible!
1155
01:07:40,219 --> 01:07:43,803
I was so on edge, it was one
of the few things I heard.
1156
01:07:44,136 --> 01:07:45,428
That I remember!
1157
01:07:45,886 --> 01:07:47,928
I wasn't very calm myself.
1158
01:07:48,136 --> 01:07:50,344
I couldn't have known.
You were my teacher.
1159
01:07:50,511 --> 01:07:53,594
That's why I wasn't too calm.
1160
01:07:58,803 --> 01:08:02,678
You'd slink into class
with that disheveled hair.
1161
01:08:03,761 --> 01:08:07,053
I remember all those
egg-heads reading Kafka,
1162
01:08:07,219 --> 01:08:09,928
explaining howThe
Metamorphosis and The Trial
1163
01:08:10,094 --> 01:08:12,928
derived from his
relation to his father.
1164
01:08:13,636 --> 01:08:14,761
And you...
1165
01:08:15,344 --> 01:08:17,386
you said wearily "No..."
1166
01:08:17,553 --> 01:08:19,303
It was the opposite.
1167
01:08:20,011 --> 01:08:22,803
The source of his
relationship to his father
1168
01:08:22,969 --> 01:08:25,011
is The Metamorphosis
and The Trial.
1169
01:08:25,178 --> 01:08:27,178
Then you threw your haymaker.
1170
01:08:27,344 --> 01:08:29,636
"By the time a writer is 36,
1171
01:08:29,803 --> 01:08:32,261
he stops translating
experience into fiction,
1172
01:08:32,428 --> 01:08:34,886
he imposes his fiction
on experience."
1173
01:08:35,428 --> 01:08:36,594
At nineteen,
1174
01:08:37,719 --> 01:08:39,094
you were already somebody.
1175
01:08:40,303 --> 01:08:42,094
I was already crazy?
1176
01:08:42,678 --> 01:08:43,678
Not at all.
1177
01:08:43,844 --> 01:08:45,636
Maybe you were crazy too.
1178
01:08:46,053 --> 01:08:48,844
After one of my classes,
you wrote me a note:
1179
01:08:49,011 --> 01:08:51,761
"I pray for only one
thing, every night:
1180
01:08:51,928 --> 01:08:53,636
to be a good writer."
1181
01:08:54,928 --> 01:08:56,428
A good writer...
1182
01:08:58,344 --> 01:09:00,219
Tell me again what happened.
1183
01:09:01,011 --> 01:09:04,636
Make me understand the shock
treatments, the hospitals.
1184
01:09:06,719 --> 01:09:08,636
The old, old story.
1185
01:09:08,969 --> 01:09:10,969
I was attracted to...
1186
01:09:11,344 --> 01:09:13,886
hypnotic womanizers.
1187
01:09:14,386 --> 01:09:16,011
And I went bonkers.
1188
01:09:16,428 --> 01:09:17,844
It was my punishment.
1189
01:09:18,011 --> 01:09:19,386
Is that an accusation?
1190
01:09:19,553 --> 01:09:20,844
No, no.
1191
01:09:21,928 --> 01:09:24,969
No, with you it was fresh.
1192
01:09:25,761 --> 01:09:27,844
Tender, so intimate.
1193
01:09:29,928 --> 01:09:31,261
It was inebriating.
1194
01:09:31,428 --> 01:09:34,053
You never had affairs
that weren't...
1195
01:09:34,803 --> 01:09:36,094
so fraught?
1196
01:09:36,594 --> 01:09:37,761
Just pleasant?
1197
01:09:39,928 --> 01:09:40,928
Lots!
1198
01:09:41,178 --> 01:09:42,386
What happened?
1199
01:09:42,761 --> 01:09:44,011
What happened...
1200
01:09:45,178 --> 01:09:47,261
what happened was I got bored.
1201
01:09:49,322 --> 01:09:53,405
The trial.
1202
01:09:57,655 --> 01:10:00,447
Can you explain to the
court why you hate women?
1203
01:10:00,613 --> 01:10:01,655
I don't hate them.
1204
01:10:01,822 --> 01:10:03,280
If you don't,
1205
01:10:03,447 --> 01:10:06,613
then why defame and
denigrate them in your books?
1206
01:10:06,780 --> 01:10:10,238
Why abuse them in your
work and in your life?
1207
01:10:10,905 --> 01:10:14,030
Neither in my work nor
my life do I abuse them.
1208
01:10:14,322 --> 01:10:17,113
We've heard testimony
from expert witnesses.
1209
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:18,947
You argue before the court
1210
01:10:19,113 --> 01:10:23,072
that these experts with
unimpeachable professional standards
1211
01:10:23,238 --> 01:10:24,738
are either mistaken
1212
01:10:24,905 --> 01:10:26,197
or lying?
1213
01:10:26,697 --> 01:10:28,113
May I ask something?
1214
01:10:32,655 --> 01:10:36,113
What have you ever done
that's useful to women?
1215
01:10:37,447 --> 01:10:38,947
Why do you interpret
1216
01:10:39,113 --> 01:10:41,863
one woman's depiction
as that of all woman?
1217
01:10:42,030 --> 01:10:44,322
You're not allowed
to ask questions,
1218
01:10:44,488 --> 01:10:45,905
only to answer them.
1219
01:10:46,780 --> 01:10:48,572
You are charged with sexism,
1220
01:10:49,280 --> 01:10:50,780
misogyny,
1221
01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:52,905
woman abuse,
1222
01:10:53,072 --> 01:10:54,530
slander of women,
1223
01:10:55,405 --> 01:10:57,155
and ruthless seduction.
1224
01:10:57,854 --> 01:10:58,863
Sir?
1225
01:10:59,030 --> 01:11:00,030
Yes?
1226
01:11:00,197 --> 01:11:03,738
Why did you publish books
that cause women suffering?
1227
01:11:03,905 --> 01:11:07,155
You never thought they'd
be fodder for our enemies?
1228
01:11:08,072 --> 01:11:10,113
I can only reply
1229
01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:14,488
that the objectives of this
self-styled equal-rights democracy
1230
01:11:14,655 --> 01:11:17,530
of which you're
fond are not mine
1231
01:11:17,697 --> 01:11:19,072
as a writer!
1232
01:11:19,447 --> 01:11:22,280
We have no desire to
hear you talk literature.
1233
01:11:22,655 --> 01:11:25,405
In your books, all
women are stereotypes.
1234
01:11:25,572 --> 01:11:27,072
They're vicious perverts.
1235
01:11:27,488 --> 01:11:29,238
Why portray Mrs Tarnopol
1236
01:11:29,405 --> 01:11:31,613
is that how you pronounce it?
1237
01:11:32,613 --> 01:11:34,988
As hysterical and psychopathic?
1238
01:11:35,155 --> 01:11:37,363
Why depict women as shrews?
1239
01:11:37,530 --> 01:11:39,155
Why did Shakespeare do it?
1240
01:11:41,113 --> 01:11:44,822
You make it seem as if every
woman must be extolled.
1241
01:11:45,405 --> 01:11:48,072
You compare yourself
to Shakespeare!
1242
01:11:48,822 --> 01:11:51,030
Let's delve into
your background.
1243
01:11:52,322 --> 01:11:54,822
You were a university
professor, right?
1244
01:11:54,988 --> 01:11:56,197
That's right.
1245
01:11:57,363 --> 01:12:01,072
As such, did you engage in
sexual practices with students?
1246
01:12:01,238 --> 01:12:02,447
Humiliating too?
1247
01:12:03,405 --> 01:12:04,655
Not for you?
1248
01:12:04,822 --> 01:12:06,822
They were honored to be chosen?
1249
01:12:09,363 --> 01:12:11,197
How often did you force them
1250
01:12:11,363 --> 01:12:14,363
to copulate with a teacher
acting in loco parentis?
1251
01:12:15,322 --> 01:12:18,447
There was no need to
exert force, trust me.
1252
01:12:18,780 --> 01:12:22,572
How many students did you
influence and exploit?
1253
01:12:22,914 --> 01:12:23,947
Three!
1254
01:12:24,113 --> 01:12:27,322
Over the years I've had
love affairs with three!
1255
01:12:31,822 --> 01:12:34,905
After patronizing us with
a lecture on literature,
1256
01:12:35,072 --> 01:12:37,697
we must now bear
another one on love?
1257
01:12:39,988 --> 01:12:41,238
From you?
1258
01:12:41,488 --> 01:12:44,030
- You practiced adultery?
- I still do!
1259
01:12:44,197 --> 01:12:45,572
With wives of friends?
1260
01:12:45,738 --> 01:12:48,947
More often with wives
of strangers, like you.
1261
01:12:49,113 --> 01:12:50,863
Who gave more sadistic delight?
1262
01:12:51,030 --> 01:12:53,947
Friends whose wives
you ruthlessly seduced?
1263
01:12:54,113 --> 01:12:56,447
- Or strangers?
- You're beautiful!
1264
01:12:56,947 --> 01:12:58,822
He's exploiting me in court!
1265
01:12:58,988 --> 01:13:00,572
No, you're delightful!
1266
01:13:00,905 --> 01:13:02,072
Brilliant!
1267
01:13:02,613 --> 01:13:03,780
I'm no "girl"!
1268
01:13:03,947 --> 01:13:05,488
This is fucking, baby.
1269
01:13:05,780 --> 01:13:08,030
This is pure pornography!
1270
01:13:08,197 --> 01:13:11,030
I'm fucking you
in a court of law!
1271
01:13:12,738 --> 01:13:14,697
Follow me, ladies!
1272
01:13:14,947 --> 01:13:19,030
Spring.
1273
01:13:20,155 --> 01:13:22,155
When are you due at work?
1274
01:13:24,613 --> 01:13:26,072
In the afternoon.
1275
01:13:27,197 --> 01:13:29,822
I probably shouldn't
come to you anyway.
1276
01:13:31,613 --> 01:13:34,113
I've been capricious.
1277
01:13:35,655 --> 01:13:38,113
I think you wanted
to try something.
1278
01:13:38,447 --> 01:13:39,655
You tried it.
1279
01:13:39,822 --> 01:13:41,613
For me, you're not capricious.
1280
01:13:43,197 --> 01:13:44,988
I don't want to talk about it.
1281
01:13:46,488 --> 01:13:48,572
Then maybe...
1282
01:13:48,780 --> 01:13:50,988
it's best you don't come.
1283
01:13:55,655 --> 01:13:57,072
I'd love to see you.
1284
01:13:57,447 --> 01:13:59,363
I'm dying to see you.
1285
01:13:59,530 --> 01:14:01,613
You've really unsettled me.
1286
01:14:02,780 --> 01:14:04,863
Sorry if I've been a pain.
1287
01:14:05,030 --> 01:14:06,905
Don't be silly.
1288
01:14:08,613 --> 01:14:09,905
Did you miss me?
1289
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:12,030
Of course I've missed you!
1290
01:14:12,238 --> 01:14:13,947
Terribly, this afternoon.
1291
01:14:14,530 --> 01:14:15,697
In fact.
1292
01:14:17,780 --> 01:14:19,030
What do you miss?
1293
01:14:19,197 --> 01:14:20,447
- Want to know?
- No!
1294
01:14:20,613 --> 01:14:22,238
No dirty talk, please.
1295
01:14:25,780 --> 01:14:26,905
All right.
1296
01:14:38,655 --> 01:14:39,822
Here I am.
1297
01:14:48,905 --> 01:14:51,780
- I'm heavier?
- Not quite the matron yet.
1298
01:14:53,447 --> 01:14:55,780
I don't worry about
anything anymore.
1299
01:14:56,405 --> 01:14:58,905
- I'm not anxious anymore.
- Since I disappeared.
1300
01:14:59,363 --> 01:15:00,780
I don't know since when.
1301
01:15:02,905 --> 01:15:05,322
So how are things
on the home front?
1302
01:15:05,738 --> 01:15:07,197
How does he like them?
1303
01:15:07,530 --> 01:15:09,405
Plump and pretty?
1304
01:15:10,155 --> 01:15:11,905
I like them the way you were.
1305
01:15:12,613 --> 01:15:14,697
Thin and neurotic.
1306
01:15:16,072 --> 01:15:17,863
Things are much better.
1307
01:15:18,030 --> 01:15:20,030
Since you've been gone,
1308
01:15:20,447 --> 01:15:24,947
what's happened is a shift
in the balance of power.
1309
01:15:25,113 --> 01:15:26,322
In my favor.
1310
01:15:28,322 --> 01:15:30,322
He behaves much better to me.
1311
01:15:30,738 --> 01:15:31,822
Excellent.
1312
01:15:33,488 --> 01:15:34,822
Thank you, Doctor.
1313
01:15:51,697 --> 01:15:54,113
Seeing me is difficult for you.
1314
01:15:57,613 --> 01:15:59,197
I should have warned you.
1315
01:16:00,238 --> 01:16:01,655
I'd have come anyway.
1316
01:16:12,738 --> 01:16:15,030
My old father lives
at the boiling point.
1317
01:16:16,947 --> 01:16:18,780
An opinion on everything,
1318
01:16:18,947 --> 01:16:20,988
and often it's not mine.
1319
01:16:25,238 --> 01:16:27,530
With my father, I must sometimes
1320
01:16:27,738 --> 01:16:30,780
suppress myself from
acting like a 14-year-old.
1321
01:16:33,363 --> 01:16:34,436
Last summer,
1322
01:16:34,697 --> 01:16:39,155
he got riled up when my brother's
son decided to marry a Puerto Rican.
1323
01:16:39,572 --> 01:16:41,613
Since he can't
hide his feelings,
1324
01:16:41,780 --> 01:16:44,697
he got the kid all riled up too.
1325
01:16:46,322 --> 01:16:47,780
I got into my car,
1326
01:16:47,947 --> 01:16:50,155
drove from Connecticut
to New Jersey.
1327
01:16:50,405 --> 01:16:53,655
When I got there,
he started in on me.
1328
01:16:53,822 --> 01:16:55,197
I listened half an hour.
1329
01:16:55,488 --> 01:16:59,155
Then I decided to give him
a little history lesson.
1330
01:16:59,405 --> 01:17:01,613
I said, Listen, dear father,
1331
01:17:02,030 --> 01:17:05,280
your father, at the turn
of the century, had...
1332
01:17:05,530 --> 01:17:06,697
3 choices.
1333
01:17:08,030 --> 01:17:11,197
One: stay in Jewish
Galicia with Grandma.
1334
01:17:11,363 --> 01:17:14,613
Had he stayed, what would
have happened to him,
1335
01:17:14,780 --> 01:17:16,280
to her, me, you, Sandy?
1336
01:17:16,655 --> 01:17:18,238
Ashes!
1337
01:17:18,447 --> 01:17:20,697
Dad! Ashes! Everything
up in smoke!
1338
01:17:20,863 --> 01:17:23,072
- Don't you agree?
- Yes, but stop!
1339
01:17:23,238 --> 01:17:25,572
I'll continue my
logic. Choice two.
1340
01:17:25,738 --> 01:17:28,488
Your father could have
gone to Palestine!
1341
01:17:28,863 --> 01:17:31,947
Two. Your father could
have gone to Palestine.
1342
01:17:32,155 --> 01:17:35,822
You and Sandy in 1948 would
have fought the Arabs.
1343
01:17:36,238 --> 01:17:39,905
At least one of you would
have lost a leg, foot, arm!
1344
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:43,488
In 67, I'd have fought
in the Six Day War.
1345
01:17:43,655 --> 01:17:46,322
At least some
shrapnel in my head.
1346
01:17:46,488 --> 01:17:49,405
- Sure, sure.
- I could have lost an eye!
1347
01:17:49,572 --> 01:17:51,530
Your grandkids: Lebanon, '82.
1348
01:17:51,697 --> 01:17:54,738
Let's assume only one gets
killed. That's Palestine!
1349
01:17:54,905 --> 01:17:57,863
Choice 3: America. The
one your father picked!
1350
01:17:58,363 --> 01:18:00,030
Third choice!
1351
01:18:00,280 --> 01:18:02,238
Go to America!
1352
01:18:02,405 --> 01:18:05,447
In America, what's the
worst thing that can happen?
1353
01:18:05,613 --> 01:18:07,780
Grandson marries a Puerto Rican!
1354
01:18:08,197 --> 01:18:11,030
Stay in Poland and
accept the consequences!
1355
01:18:11,197 --> 01:18:14,822
Go to Israel and accept the
consequences of being an Israeli Jew!
1356
01:18:14,988 --> 01:18:17,488
Or else you live in America! So?
1357
01:18:17,780 --> 01:18:20,280
What do you prefer?
1358
01:18:21,697 --> 01:18:23,072
What did he say?
1359
01:18:23,238 --> 01:18:26,447
He said: "Okay, stop!
You're right! You win!"
1360
01:18:28,280 --> 01:18:31,988
I was thrilled, for
once I outfoxed him.
1361
01:18:32,155 --> 01:18:34,947
I said, Dad, know what's next?
1362
01:18:35,238 --> 01:18:37,238
I'll go see that girl's mother.
1363
01:18:37,405 --> 01:18:40,155
She must be
torturing her rosary.
1364
01:18:40,322 --> 01:18:41,947
I'll say, You want to live...
1365
01:18:42,572 --> 01:18:44,988
You want to live
in Puerto Rico? So,
1366
01:18:45,155 --> 01:18:47,280
your daughter marries
a Puerto Rican.
1367
01:18:47,447 --> 01:18:50,488
But you all have to
live in Puerto Rico!
1368
01:18:50,988 --> 01:18:53,280
Otherwise, you live in Brooklyn,
1369
01:18:53,447 --> 01:18:56,863
and worst-case scenario,
your daughter marries a Jew.
1370
01:18:57,572 --> 01:18:59,530
My father starts up again!
1371
01:18:59,697 --> 01:19:01,822
"Worst-case scenario?" Meaning?
1372
01:19:01,988 --> 01:19:03,238
Why worst case?
1373
01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:06,613
She should be thrilled who
her daughter's marrying.
1374
01:19:06,780 --> 01:19:09,738
She should be thrilled who
her daughter's marrying!
1375
01:19:09,905 --> 01:19:12,113
Yes, almost as much as you.
1376
01:19:12,280 --> 01:19:13,405
Me?
1377
01:19:14,030 --> 01:19:16,280
So? How did it end?
1378
01:19:16,613 --> 01:19:19,822
The marriage took
place at St. Patrick's
1379
01:19:19,988 --> 01:19:21,363
with a rabbi in attendance
1380
01:19:21,530 --> 01:19:24,238
in case they tried to
slip us a fast one.
1381
01:19:24,405 --> 01:19:25,655
What a story!
1382
01:19:25,822 --> 01:19:28,822
Why do they all
magnify these things?
1383
01:19:29,197 --> 01:19:32,072
Why do you all try
to minimize them?
1384
01:19:32,447 --> 01:19:36,322
In England, when I'm in a public
place, a restaurant, a party,
1385
01:19:36,488 --> 01:19:40,280
if someone uses the word
"Jew" the voice drops a bit.
1386
01:19:41,988 --> 01:19:43,030
Really?
1387
01:19:43,197 --> 01:19:45,197
You all say "Jew"
1388
01:19:45,363 --> 01:19:48,697
the way most people say "shit".
1389
01:19:49,072 --> 01:19:50,155
Jew.
1390
01:19:51,613 --> 01:19:54,197
God, you really are
your father's son.
1391
01:19:56,488 --> 01:19:58,697
Whose should I be instead?
1392
01:19:59,322 --> 01:20:00,572
Your mother's?
1393
01:20:40,405 --> 01:20:42,988
Everyone I keep meeting
these days says:
1394
01:20:43,155 --> 01:20:44,780
"I remember you at Oxford.
1395
01:20:44,947 --> 01:20:48,280
You wore transparent
blouses and no bra."
1396
01:20:49,697 --> 01:20:52,447
So you're an ex-extrovert.
1397
01:20:53,072 --> 01:20:54,988
Everyone criticized
my blue hair,
1398
01:20:55,155 --> 01:20:57,572
and because I
exposed my breasts.
1399
01:20:58,488 --> 01:21:02,113
I haven't seen them exposed
around here for a while.
1400
01:21:02,363 --> 01:21:04,113
I don't like them anymore.
1401
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:09,572
I listen to you.
1402
01:21:10,697 --> 01:21:11,822
A lot.
1403
01:21:13,363 --> 01:21:14,405
Too much.
1404
01:21:14,780 --> 01:21:15,947
Why?
1405
01:21:17,905 --> 01:21:19,072
What is it?
1406
01:21:20,822 --> 01:21:23,905
I'm thinking that
I still love you.
1407
01:21:31,988 --> 01:21:33,155
Despite?
1408
01:21:33,947 --> 01:21:35,072
Despite.
1409
01:21:39,613 --> 01:21:41,363
No, no...
1410
01:21:41,988 --> 01:21:43,113
Stop.
1411
01:21:46,447 --> 01:21:48,447
It's beneath you to stay married
1412
01:21:48,613 --> 01:21:51,280
because you think you
can't get another job
1413
01:21:51,447 --> 01:21:53,822
and this way you
have a meal ticket.
1414
01:21:54,363 --> 01:21:56,947
A meal ticket is
not beneath anyone.
1415
01:21:57,113 --> 01:21:58,863
Yes, it's beneath you.
1416
01:21:59,447 --> 01:22:03,030
If the marriage is over, why
not leave? I don't get it!
1417
01:22:05,488 --> 01:22:06,738
I don't want to.
1418
01:22:07,655 --> 01:22:09,030
There's your dignity.
1419
01:22:10,655 --> 01:22:12,822
There's no dignity
without income.
1420
01:22:14,655 --> 01:22:16,197
Clever, but wrong!
1421
01:22:16,363 --> 01:22:18,363
Just the opposite is true!
1422
01:22:18,572 --> 01:22:19,613
Look.
1423
01:22:20,697 --> 01:22:22,238
I'll write you a check.
1424
01:22:23,780 --> 01:22:25,238
It's terribly nice.
1425
01:22:25,447 --> 01:22:27,197
I honestly can't take it.
1426
01:22:27,697 --> 01:22:31,863
Why not just cash it? Put
it in your bank, or hide it.
1427
01:22:32,030 --> 01:22:34,780
Just don't put it in
your joint account.
1428
01:22:35,363 --> 01:22:36,613
Can I frame it?
1429
01:22:36,863 --> 01:22:37,905
No.
1430
01:22:38,238 --> 01:22:39,613
Just don't lose it.
1431
01:22:39,988 --> 01:22:41,697
Can I put it in my Bible?
1432
01:22:42,280 --> 01:22:45,405
No, put it in the
bank for a rainy day.
1433
01:22:53,113 --> 01:22:55,447
Why not think before
throwing it out?
1434
01:22:56,030 --> 01:22:57,155
Thanks very much.
1435
01:22:58,613 --> 01:23:00,405
It'd be best if you took it.
1436
01:23:17,870 --> 01:23:19,036
I'll miss you.
1437
01:23:22,620 --> 01:23:23,828
I'll miss you a lot.
1438
01:23:26,370 --> 01:23:27,911
I'll think of you too.
1439
01:23:29,703 --> 01:23:32,120
It's a real damn
shame for both of us.
1440
01:23:56,411 --> 01:24:00,495
The spouse.
1441
01:24:17,453 --> 01:24:19,245
Tell me what's upsetting you.
1442
01:24:19,411 --> 01:24:23,411
I can't come home from my
studio to dinners like these.
1443
01:24:23,578 --> 01:24:25,286
You don't speak.
1444
01:24:25,453 --> 01:24:26,911
You look awful.
1445
01:24:27,078 --> 01:24:28,328
I don't sleep.
1446
01:24:28,536 --> 01:24:30,828
- Why not? Tell me!
- I don't know.
1447
01:24:31,453 --> 01:24:33,578
Something to do with me?
1448
01:24:34,786 --> 01:24:36,245
I want to know...
1449
01:24:36,495 --> 01:24:37,495
and I don't.
1450
01:24:37,620 --> 01:24:38,828
Here we go.
1451
01:24:43,286 --> 01:24:44,495
What's this about?
1452
01:24:45,953 --> 01:24:48,578
You don't go to
your studio to work.
1453
01:24:48,870 --> 01:24:51,286
You go to your studio to fuck.
1454
01:24:51,703 --> 01:24:53,078
You're having an affair.
1455
01:24:54,078 --> 01:24:55,651
You think so?
1456
01:24:55,652 --> 01:24:56,660
Yes.
1457
01:24:56,661 --> 01:24:59,078
There are no women
in my studio, alas.
1458
01:24:59,245 --> 01:25:01,911
Apart from the
characters in my novel.
1459
01:25:02,078 --> 01:25:04,620
Not your novel, your notebook.
1460
01:25:05,453 --> 01:25:09,036
You forgot to put it in your
briefcase, so I took it.
1461
01:25:10,203 --> 01:25:13,078
Stupidly. I knew I
shouldn't open it.
1462
01:25:33,661 --> 01:25:36,370
You're all worked
up for nothing.
1463
01:25:36,536 --> 01:25:38,453
Because you saw a few notes?
1464
01:25:38,828 --> 01:25:40,453
Not notes. They're...
1465
01:25:42,911 --> 01:25:45,078
conversations with that woman.
1466
01:25:45,245 --> 01:25:46,995
- She's imaginary!
- She isn't!
1467
01:25:47,161 --> 01:25:48,870
- She is.
- She's real.
1468
01:25:49,453 --> 01:25:51,911
She goes to your studio.
1469
01:25:52,870 --> 01:25:56,411
She's why... for months
you've been so distracted.
1470
01:25:56,578 --> 01:25:59,786
When I speak, you can
barely stay awake.
1471
01:25:59,953 --> 01:26:02,745
But the second she
opens her mouth,
1472
01:26:02,995 --> 01:26:06,203
you can't help taking
note of every word.
1473
01:26:06,578 --> 01:26:08,203
Which are all wonderful.
1474
01:26:12,078 --> 01:26:13,578
"An écouteur."
1475
01:26:14,120 --> 01:26:15,911
"And audiophiliac."
1476
01:26:16,078 --> 01:26:18,620
What a load of pretentious crap!
1477
01:26:18,786 --> 01:26:21,453
Maybe it's because of
the book I'm writing
1478
01:26:21,620 --> 01:26:23,828
that I'm less interested...
1479
01:26:23,995 --> 01:26:25,165
Admit it!
1480
01:26:25,166 --> 01:26:26,202
To what?
1481
01:26:26,203 --> 01:26:28,286
That you never loved me so much.
1482
01:26:28,453 --> 01:26:30,536
Because she doesn't exist!
1483
01:26:30,703 --> 01:26:33,620
If you didn't exist, I'd
love you like that too.
1484
01:26:34,995 --> 01:26:36,328
Incredible!
1485
01:26:36,495 --> 01:26:38,911
I can't believe we're
arguing over this!
1486
01:26:39,411 --> 01:26:40,995
It's absurd!
1487
01:26:41,911 --> 01:26:43,411
And I suppose
1488
01:26:43,661 --> 01:26:47,161
talking to Rosalie
Nichols was...
1489
01:26:47,370 --> 01:26:49,328
was imaginary too?
1490
01:26:50,620 --> 01:26:52,036
But it's true.
1491
01:26:52,453 --> 01:26:54,703
You told me you'd spoken to her.
1492
01:26:55,036 --> 01:26:59,245
For Rosalie Nichols, I
wrote some of what we said
1493
01:26:59,411 --> 01:27:01,286
and more of what we didn't
1494
01:27:01,453 --> 01:27:03,870
and that I made up.
1495
01:27:04,161 --> 01:27:06,953
I made those things up!
1496
01:27:07,620 --> 01:27:09,661
You read about my Czech friend?
1497
01:27:09,828 --> 01:27:11,411
Yes, I read it all.
1498
01:27:11,578 --> 01:27:14,286
I stupidly sat down
and read it all!
1499
01:27:14,995 --> 01:27:17,703
My Czech friend Ivan,
as crazy as he is,
1500
01:27:17,870 --> 01:27:21,078
never accused me of
sleeping with Olina!
1501
01:27:21,245 --> 01:27:22,911
It's so much better not to know.
1502
01:27:23,245 --> 01:27:25,911
No, I don't believe
this melodrama.
1503
01:27:26,078 --> 01:27:27,911
You get all worked up!
1504
01:27:28,078 --> 01:27:29,411
You won't listen...
1505
01:27:29,745 --> 01:27:30,953
You dramatize everything.
1506
01:27:31,120 --> 01:27:33,370
It's you who
dramatizes everything!
1507
01:27:33,578 --> 01:27:34,870
I won't explain myself.
1508
01:27:35,036 --> 01:27:38,995
Or remind you that people's
voices hold an appeal for me.
1509
01:27:39,453 --> 01:27:41,286
This notebook is proof!
1510
01:27:41,578 --> 01:27:43,745
I have imagined
1511
01:27:43,911 --> 01:27:47,328
a love story. It's
what I do all the time.
1512
01:27:47,536 --> 01:27:49,411
That notebook is a real woman.
1513
01:27:50,370 --> 01:27:53,370
That notebook is as
if Tolstoy had...
1514
01:27:53,536 --> 01:27:56,203
imagined himself in
love with Anna Karenina.
1515
01:27:56,370 --> 01:27:57,452
Or Hardy with...
1516
01:27:57,453 --> 01:27:59,578
I follow my leads
where they take me!
1517
01:27:59,745 --> 01:28:02,911
Not by you or anyone
will I be censored!
1518
01:28:03,078 --> 01:28:05,745
Stop the self-righteous
shtick, don't shout.
1519
01:28:05,911 --> 01:28:07,995
I cannot be screamed at, okay?
1520
01:28:08,161 --> 01:28:09,995
You're trying to confuse me.
1521
01:28:10,786 --> 01:28:14,453
I'm trying to make you
see things straight.
1522
01:28:14,828 --> 01:28:17,661
Yes, Olina did bed
down with a Black guy.
1523
01:28:17,828 --> 01:28:19,745
And Ivan told me about it.
1524
01:28:19,911 --> 01:28:22,328
But he never accused
me of betraying him.
1525
01:28:22,495 --> 01:28:24,370
That's not how I go about it.
1526
01:28:24,578 --> 01:28:27,620
When I write, I need
to compromise myself!
1527
01:28:27,786 --> 01:28:29,745
That's what motivates me.
1528
01:28:30,036 --> 01:28:33,036
As is proved by this
fucking argument!
1529
01:28:33,245 --> 01:28:35,411
And the little American loony?
1530
01:28:35,578 --> 01:28:37,703
Control yourself! Think!
1531
01:28:38,036 --> 01:28:39,536
She thinks.
1532
01:28:40,995 --> 01:28:43,120
So go think with her.
1533
01:28:43,661 --> 01:28:46,703
Okay, okay, let's
get the notebook.
1534
01:28:46,870 --> 01:28:51,120
We'll sit down, I'll explain
to you line after line
1535
01:28:51,286 --> 01:28:52,453
what I've been up to,
1536
01:28:52,620 --> 01:28:55,411
supposing I'm able
to understand it!
1537
01:28:58,661 --> 01:29:01,536
I'm to believe this
Englishwoman doesn't exist?
1538
01:29:01,953 --> 01:29:04,661
So how do you know the
things about English life
1539
01:29:04,828 --> 01:29:07,370
that this imaginary
woman tell you?
1540
01:29:07,536 --> 01:29:11,536
Hey, it's my business to
seem to know more than I do.
1541
01:29:11,703 --> 01:29:13,411
But it's so intimate.
1542
01:29:14,328 --> 01:29:17,870
Intimacy is interesting.
It's a subject!
1543
01:29:20,370 --> 01:29:22,911
Are you going to
publish the notebook?
1544
01:29:23,078 --> 01:29:25,286
I don't know. It's
occurred to me.
1545
01:29:25,453 --> 01:29:26,870
Publish it as is?
1546
01:29:27,203 --> 01:29:28,453
I said I didn't know.
1547
01:29:28,620 --> 01:29:31,411
Mightn't it be advisable
to change your name?
1548
01:29:32,245 --> 01:29:35,370
Can "Philip, an ashtray"
become "Nathan"?
1549
01:29:35,870 --> 01:29:38,578
No, Zuckerman is my
character in novels.
1550
01:29:38,745 --> 01:29:40,828
This is different.
The notebook is me.
1551
01:29:40,995 --> 01:29:42,536
You just said it's not you.
1552
01:29:42,703 --> 01:29:45,203
It's me imagining. It's
about an imagination.
1553
01:29:45,370 --> 01:29:48,578
Once published, no one will
say it's about an imagination.
1554
01:29:48,745 --> 01:29:50,911
They say my fiction
is autobiography.
1555
01:29:51,286 --> 01:29:53,328
That my autobiography
is fiction.
1556
01:29:53,495 --> 01:29:56,745
Since I'm so dumb
and they're so smart,
1557
01:29:56,911 --> 01:29:59,078
let them decide what it is.
1558
01:29:59,245 --> 01:30:00,786
Sounds like a fun game.
1559
01:30:02,495 --> 01:30:04,078
What if it humiliates me?
1560
01:30:04,411 --> 01:30:06,120
It's a game!
1561
01:30:06,370 --> 01:30:08,453
It's an impersonation of myself!
1562
01:30:08,620 --> 01:30:11,828
I ventriloquize myself,
it's homo ludens.
1563
01:30:11,995 --> 01:30:13,745
Who'd know that besides us?
1564
01:30:14,370 --> 01:30:18,286
I cannot and do not live
in a world of discretion.
1565
01:30:18,453 --> 01:30:20,578
Shame is not for novelists!
1566
01:30:20,745 --> 01:30:24,120
All you have to do is make
the wretched American say:
1567
01:30:24,328 --> 01:30:28,370
"Nathan, an ashtray" and not
"Philip". That's all I ask.
1568
01:30:29,076 --> 01:30:30,077
No.
1569
01:30:30,078 --> 01:30:31,328
- Going?
- Out!
1570
01:30:31,745 --> 01:30:34,370
Being told what to
write drives me crazy!
1571
01:30:34,536 --> 01:30:36,745
Don't go out alone!
I'll come along.
1572
01:30:36,911 --> 01:30:40,328
It's over. It's gone far
enough. I can't be hounded.
1573
01:30:40,495 --> 01:30:44,161
I write what I write, I
publish however I want.
1574
01:30:44,328 --> 01:30:47,245
- Fuck what people get wrong!
- Or get right.
1575
01:30:47,411 --> 01:30:49,536
This is a notebook,
not a human being!
1576
01:30:49,703 --> 01:30:53,453
You are a human being, like
it or not. So am I, so is she!
1577
01:30:53,620 --> 01:30:55,120
No, she is just words.
1578
01:30:55,286 --> 01:30:58,286
Try as I will, I
cannot fuck words!
1579
01:30:59,328 --> 01:31:00,453
I'm going out.
1580
01:31:00,870 --> 01:31:01,870
Alone.
1581
01:31:07,745 --> 01:31:11,828
Epilogue.
1582
01:31:34,745 --> 01:31:36,620
Good, right on time.
1583
01:31:38,495 --> 01:31:41,495
They're preparing
a table for us,
1584
01:31:41,661 --> 01:31:43,161
it's not ready yet.
1585
01:31:47,370 --> 01:31:49,620
So... how...
1586
01:31:50,203 --> 01:31:51,911
- How are you?
- How am I?
1587
01:31:52,078 --> 01:31:53,578
I'm very good.
1588
01:31:53,786 --> 01:31:55,995
And you? How are you?
1589
01:31:56,161 --> 01:31:59,370
I wanted to see you to ask
these fascinating questions.
1590
01:31:59,953 --> 01:32:01,120
So how are you?
1591
01:32:01,286 --> 01:32:04,620
Well, I'm doing very well.
1592
01:32:04,786 --> 01:32:08,370
I've tried calling, but
your number's not working.
1593
01:32:09,245 --> 01:32:11,286
What country were you calling?
1594
01:32:12,245 --> 01:32:14,620
- Your studio in England.
- I've left.
1595
01:32:14,911 --> 01:32:16,453
I'm in America for good now.
1596
01:32:17,411 --> 01:32:18,411
Listen.
1597
01:32:20,161 --> 01:32:21,411
How are you?
1598
01:32:21,953 --> 01:32:23,828
- I'm really very well.
- Great!
1599
01:32:25,578 --> 01:32:27,161
I've been thinking about you.
1600
01:32:28,161 --> 01:32:30,911
I read your book,
hesitated about calling.
1601
01:32:31,370 --> 01:32:33,786
- I thought about it a lot.
- So did I.
1602
01:32:34,120 --> 01:32:38,495
And I wondered if
it had any effects
1603
01:32:39,036 --> 01:32:40,203
on your marriage.
1604
01:32:42,120 --> 01:32:43,578
He didn't read it.
1605
01:32:44,745 --> 01:32:46,203
Wonderful. Of course.
1606
01:32:46,370 --> 01:32:47,828
Your table is ready.
1607
01:32:58,411 --> 01:33:00,328
So what's new?
1608
01:33:00,661 --> 01:33:01,995
Tell me.
1609
01:33:02,161 --> 01:33:04,703
I'm fine, aren't I?
1610
01:33:04,995 --> 01:33:06,077
Yes.
1611
01:33:06,078 --> 01:33:07,786
I don't know where to start.
1612
01:33:08,245 --> 01:33:10,120
Did you hate me for not calling?
1613
01:33:10,286 --> 01:33:14,203
No, not at all. I just
thought it was a decision.
1614
01:33:15,245 --> 01:33:17,953
I think that the
last time we spoke,
1615
01:33:18,953 --> 01:33:21,328
neither of us was very happy.
1616
01:33:21,911 --> 01:33:25,120
I figured you had
to go your own way.
1617
01:33:25,286 --> 01:33:28,203
And I suppose I had to go mine.
1618
01:33:28,703 --> 01:33:31,495
It was two years ago,
we went our own ways.
1619
01:33:34,411 --> 01:33:35,411
Yes.
1620
01:33:35,620 --> 01:33:39,786
Well, I'm very glad you called
because I missed you a lot.
1621
01:33:40,120 --> 01:33:42,661
You said you were
stopping because...
1622
01:33:42,828 --> 01:33:44,411
the love affair was over.
1623
01:33:45,245 --> 01:33:49,161
No. You said you wanted
to stop seeing me.
1624
01:33:49,495 --> 01:33:50,495
- Really?
- Yes!
1625
01:33:50,661 --> 01:33:52,286
More than once.
1626
01:33:52,703 --> 01:33:54,078
I have a good memory.
1627
01:33:54,745 --> 01:33:55,828
Indeed.
1628
01:33:56,370 --> 01:33:57,661
I was astonished.
1629
01:33:58,245 --> 01:34:01,661
Two people told me: "I heard
your voice in the book."
1630
01:34:01,953 --> 01:34:03,203
- Really?
- Yes.
1631
01:34:03,370 --> 01:34:04,453
Who said that?
1632
01:34:05,495 --> 01:34:09,078
I have friends who read
literature and listen to me.
1633
01:34:09,245 --> 01:34:11,203
You have a distinctive delivery.
1634
01:34:11,370 --> 01:34:13,703
I was in love with
you for 20 reasons,
1635
01:34:13,870 --> 01:34:16,453
and that was the
most beautiful one.
1636
01:34:17,453 --> 01:34:19,828
For me, it was...
1637
01:34:20,620 --> 01:34:22,953
a long, delightful,
1638
01:34:23,370 --> 01:34:26,286
finally very sad, important...
1639
01:34:26,703 --> 01:34:28,245
I'd say the same.
1640
01:34:28,578 --> 01:34:31,203
No one had ever
been so appreciated.
1641
01:34:31,536 --> 01:34:33,495
I was nuts about you.
1642
01:34:34,911 --> 01:34:36,620
- Really?
- You knew it.
1643
01:34:37,286 --> 01:34:38,620
Don't turn English.
1644
01:34:39,536 --> 01:34:40,745
Well...
1645
01:34:42,495 --> 01:34:44,036
I worried a lot about you.
1646
01:34:44,203 --> 01:34:45,328
Really?
1647
01:34:49,828 --> 01:34:51,953
Should I start with the song?
1648
01:34:52,453 --> 01:34:53,828
Do you remember
1649
01:34:54,620 --> 01:34:57,661
that afternoon
1650
01:34:58,161 --> 01:35:00,620
when we tick-tick
1651
01:35:00,786 --> 01:35:02,911
we would meet up
1652
01:35:03,120 --> 01:35:05,203
you and me...
1653
01:35:08,245 --> 01:35:09,370
Yes, yes.
1654
01:35:11,870 --> 01:35:14,370
By the way, I'm
not young anymore.
1655
01:35:14,911 --> 01:35:16,786
When I met you I
was still young.
1656
01:35:16,953 --> 01:35:20,286
But when you hit 35,
it's suddenly all over.
1657
01:35:20,953 --> 01:35:24,203
Not all over, but...
some of it is over.
1658
01:35:24,370 --> 01:35:25,995
The glow has gone?
1659
01:35:27,911 --> 01:35:30,411
That was probably gone at 16.
1660
01:35:32,245 --> 01:35:33,578
I'm turning 37.
1661
01:35:33,745 --> 01:35:34,745
Yes...
1662
01:35:35,286 --> 01:35:38,620
I'll throw a party in
the museum dinosaur wing.
1663
01:35:38,786 --> 01:35:40,578
Great idea. Great location.
1664
01:35:40,745 --> 01:35:41,911
You're invited.
1665
01:35:42,286 --> 01:35:44,536
I don't know how to explain it,
1666
01:35:45,036 --> 01:35:48,578
I'm starting to think of
myself quite differently.
1667
01:35:48,745 --> 01:35:51,745
When you stop acting
the lively adolescent.
1668
01:35:52,995 --> 01:35:55,578
It's a difficult
transition for women.
1669
01:35:55,745 --> 01:35:57,745
I didn't call you before
1670
01:35:57,995 --> 01:36:01,995
because I didn't want to
disturb your life again.
1671
01:36:03,286 --> 01:36:04,578
You and your husband,
1672
01:36:05,161 --> 01:36:06,745
you still live together?
1673
01:36:07,078 --> 01:36:09,328
We go about things decently.
1674
01:36:10,745 --> 01:36:13,828
I keep wondering what
the big problem is.
1675
01:36:14,786 --> 01:36:17,911
Obviously there are
intractable problems.
1676
01:36:18,453 --> 01:36:20,453
Like loneliness.
1677
01:36:21,411 --> 01:36:23,078
I feel terribly lonely.
1678
01:36:23,620 --> 01:36:25,120
I get bored at work.
1679
01:36:25,911 --> 01:36:29,370
But besides the big problems,
I think it's all fine.
1680
01:36:30,161 --> 01:36:31,578
Do you have a lover?
1681
01:36:31,995 --> 01:36:33,536
No, no...
1682
01:36:35,605 --> 01:36:36,619
Listen,
1683
01:36:36,620 --> 01:36:40,411
I was astonished to
see this character
1684
01:36:41,328 --> 01:36:42,661
so terribly passive.
1685
01:36:44,661 --> 01:36:47,161
I had no idea,
insofar as it's me.
1686
01:36:47,328 --> 01:36:49,578
Insofar as it's you...
1687
01:36:50,953 --> 01:36:53,870
insofar... it's completely you.
1688
01:36:54,036 --> 01:36:56,078
Well, I'm not like that anymore.
1689
01:36:56,245 --> 01:36:57,245
Really?
1690
01:36:57,411 --> 01:36:59,161
I'm a positive person now.
1691
01:36:59,328 --> 01:37:02,203
Thank God I finished
my book beforehand.
1692
01:37:02,620 --> 01:37:06,453
Positive people in books
put me straight to sleep.
1693
01:37:06,995 --> 01:37:10,745
Yes, but... that
passivity was terrifying.
1694
01:37:11,078 --> 01:37:13,120
Well, writing alters things.
1695
01:37:13,953 --> 01:37:15,620
I felt angry.
1696
01:37:16,536 --> 01:37:20,661
Like natives who say photographs
steal part of their souls.
1697
01:37:21,120 --> 01:37:23,078
I knew you'd be angry.
1698
01:37:24,536 --> 01:37:25,828
Very angry.
1699
01:37:28,536 --> 01:37:31,328
And when did you get over it?
1700
01:37:32,245 --> 01:37:34,161
I probably haven't.
1701
01:37:39,620 --> 01:37:42,245
God, how I've missed
1702
01:37:42,411 --> 01:37:44,286
talking to you.
1703
01:37:44,953 --> 01:37:46,620
And not taking notes?
1704
01:37:48,411 --> 01:37:49,453
Of course.
1705
01:37:50,078 --> 01:37:51,620
I've missed it too.
1706
01:37:52,661 --> 01:37:54,328
I've missed it so badly.
1707
01:37:55,828 --> 01:37:57,536
I talk to you in my head.
1708
01:37:58,161 --> 01:37:59,578
I talk to you too.
1709
01:38:00,911 --> 01:38:04,120
"Freshfield" was not
a good name for me.
1710
01:38:04,745 --> 01:38:06,120
You should have consulted me.
1711
01:38:06,411 --> 01:38:10,078
It's from an English poem,
"Tomorrow to fresh woods..."
1712
01:38:10,745 --> 01:38:13,620
I got it, but it
wasn't right. Too easy.
1713
01:38:14,078 --> 01:38:15,578
You haven't lost your bite.
1714
01:38:15,745 --> 01:38:17,745
So you live in America now.
1715
01:38:18,620 --> 01:38:21,203
Was it too Christian
for you here?
1716
01:38:21,370 --> 01:38:22,370
True.
1717
01:38:23,828 --> 01:38:26,745
I was missing something
here. I didn't realize.
1718
01:38:26,911 --> 01:38:28,828
Really? What was that?
1719
01:38:29,495 --> 01:38:30,578
The...
1720
01:38:31,078 --> 01:38:32,245
Jews!
1721
01:38:34,161 --> 01:38:35,620
We've got some here.
1722
01:38:36,203 --> 01:38:38,745
I'm talking about
Jews with guts.
1723
01:38:39,411 --> 01:38:42,828
Jews with appetite,
Jews without shame.
1724
01:38:43,078 --> 01:38:46,661
Brash, angry Jews who eat with
their elbows on the table.
1725
01:38:47,036 --> 01:38:49,120
Insult, argument, impudence.
1726
01:38:49,995 --> 01:38:52,703
- Back in the bosom of the tribe.
- Exactly.
1727
01:38:53,036 --> 01:38:55,495
- Isn't it odd?
- Not very.
1728
01:38:56,161 --> 01:38:57,745
The one who's gone home.
1729
01:38:57,911 --> 01:38:59,411
You read "The Odyssey"?
1730
01:39:00,370 --> 01:39:03,578
An epic of exile and
return. What's your role?
1731
01:39:04,703 --> 01:39:05,828
Nausicaä?
1732
01:39:07,078 --> 01:39:08,120
Calypso?
1733
01:39:08,286 --> 01:39:09,328
Homer.
1734
01:39:11,953 --> 01:39:13,120
I'll write on you.
1735
01:39:13,453 --> 01:39:16,786
Hurry up, I may write
a second one on you.
1736
01:39:16,953 --> 01:39:18,328
You wouldn't do that.
1737
01:39:19,620 --> 01:39:20,870
Would you?
1738
01:39:21,161 --> 01:39:22,411
You'd dare?
1739
01:39:22,870 --> 01:39:24,536
Of course I would.
1740
01:39:24,870 --> 01:39:27,495
This conversation
will be part of it.
1741
01:39:27,661 --> 01:39:30,370
You'd be scraping the
bottom of the barrel.
1742
01:39:30,536 --> 01:39:32,286
Don't underestimate yourself.
1743
01:39:33,120 --> 01:39:35,453
You were a great barrel.
1744
01:39:36,203 --> 01:39:38,411
- For me, you were.
- Was I?
1745
01:39:39,620 --> 01:39:41,661
I was so angry for months.
1746
01:39:43,286 --> 01:39:47,453
I was torn because after I
read it, I couldn't be angry.
1747
01:39:48,036 --> 01:39:49,120
Why was that?
1748
01:39:49,286 --> 01:39:50,453
Because...
1749
01:39:52,786 --> 01:39:55,203
because it was so tender,
1750
01:39:55,745 --> 01:39:56,870
I think.
1751
01:39:57,620 --> 01:39:59,245
Unless I got it wrong.
1752
01:40:03,453 --> 01:40:04,786
You didn't get it wrong.
1753
01:40:20,911 --> 01:40:22,661
Good evening, ma'am.
111885
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