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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,218 --> 00:00:02,785 Previously on United States of Al... 2 00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:05,048 How do you keep getting out of work in the middle of the day? 3 00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:07,007 I mix up the excuses. 4 00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:09,487 Today I'm at the dentist, which I can sell 5 00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,141 'cause my jaw is a little sore. 6 00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,751 I slept with someone. 7 00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,536 Who?It doesn't matter. 8 00:00:14,579 --> 00:00:16,668 It was Sourpuss Barbie, wasn't it? 9 00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,061 I have never been with a woman. 10 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:20,933 Oh, I have. You should try it. It's great. 11 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:24,067 I think I'm ready to take our relationship to the next level. 12 00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:26,765 Oh, Al! 13 00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:28,637 My baby bird is jumping out of the nest. 14 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,726 Bad kid! Bad kid! 15 00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:32,380 I know it's none of my business. 16 00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:36,210 If he ever messes up, I'll straighten him out, I promise. 17 00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:44,348 Professor, hi. You wanted to see me? 18 00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,568 Yes, I was going over the class research papers, 19 00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:48,004 and yours was of concern. 20 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,615 I didn't hand anything in. 21 00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:52,139 That's my concern. 22 00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:54,793 That paper was 20% of your grade. 23 00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:58,884 Okay, well, I have a very good excuse. 24 00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,147 I have a beautiful girlfriend, 25 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,410 and she keeps taking her clothes off. 26 00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:06,327 You really don't signal before you turn, do you? 27 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:10,244 But since you're dating my best friend's sister, 28 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:11,506 I shouldn't be worried, right? 29 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,029 You should be worried. 30 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:16,293 The subject of my email was, "You should be worried." 31 00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:19,470 You do understand that up until very recently, I was a virgin. 32 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:21,690 Pure as the driven snow. 33 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:25,302 But now, as you can see, I'm a stud. 34 00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:28,523 Yeah, I get it. The oxytocin and dopamine released 35 00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:31,613 during sex can be as powerful as narcotics. 36 00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,790 Especially the way Cindy does it. 37 00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:37,271 There's a famous experiment on mice 38 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,186 where they kept pushing a button 39 00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,840 that stimulated the same pleasure centers of the brain 40 00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:43,712 where the orgasm is located. 41 00:01:43,755 --> 00:01:46,236 Good for them. 42 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,761 They kept hitting the button until they died. 43 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:54,940 How many times did they hit it? I'll do one less. 44 00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:58,683 Mr. Karimi, if you do not ace the final exam, 45 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,468 you will fail this class. 46 00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:01,904 What are you smiling at? 47 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,558 It's a video from Cindy. 48 00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,734 She's dancing naked in her bathroom. 49 00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,606 Well, I can't show you. 50 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,347 That is correct. 51 00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:26,624 What's good here? 52 00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,104 The prices. 53 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,410 How's the food? 54 00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,760 The prices are good. 55 00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,153 Where's Al? 56 00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,764 Cindy's. He practically lives there now. 57 00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:37,809 Aw, I'm glad the kid's having fun. 58 00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:40,899 Too much fun. Brett says he's bombing out of class. 59 00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:42,249 Seriously? Mm-hmm. 60 00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:43,641 Ooh, that's not good. 61 00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:45,904 Hey, Holly. Hey, Art. 62 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,776 You're looking well. Lois. 63 00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,473 We met at the Christmas party. 64 00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:51,997 Lizzie, love the hair. 65 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,783 Hi. No. 66 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,134 Uh, beers all around, please. 67 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,180 Coming up. 68 00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:04,706 If I order food, will you take a bite of it first? 69 00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:06,795 I'm worried about Al. 70 00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:08,666 When my son got his first girlfriend, 71 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,102 he almost flunked out of high school. 72 00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:12,627 I had to take his phone and car away. 73 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:16,152 Did it work?He's a very successful Jet Ski salesman, 74 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,328 so I don't know how to answer that. 75 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,331 Well, we got to do something. 76 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,812 I promised his mom I'd keep him on the straight and narrow. 77 00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:27,555 I screw up a kid for the third time, it's definitely my fault. 78 00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:29,557 No offense? 79 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,124 No offense, what? 80 00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:36,259 Here you go. 81 00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,660 Hey, if she spit in it, so what? 82 00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,792 She's had her tongue in your mouth. 83 00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:50,795 True. 84 00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:56,714 Ah. Good morning, Hazel. 85 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,107 Turn around and leave. 86 00:03:58,150 --> 00:03:59,674 Why? 87 00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:02,329 You're in trouble.For what? 88 00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:04,156 Al, could you please come in the kitchen? 89 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,246 It's not too late. Run. 90 00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:11,425 Nobody listens to me. 91 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,472 Uh, everything okay? 92 00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:16,865 Sit down. 93 00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:18,910 Here? 94 00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,782 There's good. 95 00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:23,741 Lizzie? 96 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:26,135 Thank you. 97 00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:28,224 Brett says you're close to flunking out. 98 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,487 He is such a gossip. 99 00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:31,619 Al... 100 00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,142 It's no big deal. 101 00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:34,970 Mr. Art, I have my final exam coming up. 102 00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:36,537 All I need is to study for a few days. 103 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,060 Great. Start right now. 104 00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:39,496 I can't. I have to get some sleep. 105 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:44,109 Why? Because I haven't been getting a lot of sleep. 106 00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,504 Al, I made a promise to your mother, 107 00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:50,377 so I need you to buckle down.Thank you so much 108 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,856 for being concerned about me. 109 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:54,032 I-I will focus more attention to my studies. 110 00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:56,513 Yeah, just to be safe, why don't we agree that 111 00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:57,819 you're not gonna see your girlfriend 112 00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:59,734 until after you pass your exam? 113 00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:01,736 I don't think that's necessary. 114 00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:03,999 I'll just call your mom. 115 00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:06,001 Oh, please don't do that. 116 00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:07,568 What time is it in Kabul? 117 00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,047 Almost midnight.She stay up late? 118 00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,875 Oh, she's a night owl.Oh. 119 00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:13,487 No, no, please, please, d-don't call my mother. 120 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,750 I'll study, I'll study! 121 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,188 Extortion-- never goes out of style. 122 00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:25,760 Women are crazy, right? 123 00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:29,285 Keep talking, then I'll weigh in. 124 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,940 My ex-wife wants to hook up tonight at a motel. 125 00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:33,420 So? 126 00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:36,379 So, we're divorced... I think. 127 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:39,164 I mean, she's sleeping with me, she's living with another guy. 128 00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:40,470 It's crazy. 129 00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:45,475 My granddaughter says "cray cray." Adorable. 130 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:48,696 I'm sorry. Are you with me here, or am I talking to myself? 131 00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:51,046 You're acting like you have no say in this. 132 00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:53,222 She tells you to show up at the Motel 6 133 00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:55,572 and have sex with her, and you just go. 134 00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:56,834 Well, they put up the Bat-Signal, 135 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:59,010 Batman can't not show up. 136 00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:04,886 I'm not sure what you're doing counts as a public service. 137 00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:09,804 If all she wants is meaningless sex, why pick me? 138 00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,893 Look, I'm not concerned about Vanessa. 139 00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:14,025 I'm yourtherapist. 140 00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:16,332 I want to know why youare doing something 141 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,681 that's stressing you out. 142 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,335 'Cause she's super hot. 143 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,989 No, that's not it. 144 00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,382 I mean, you go to a boat show, 145 00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:24,949 you can't throw a rock, you don't hit a ten. 146 00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:27,604 Why are you doing this? 147 00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:30,215 'Cause I'm dumb. 148 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:33,610 Mm. Peel another layer off that onion, son. 149 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:37,179 'Cause I keep thinking we'll get back together? 150 00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,703 Thank you. 151 00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:44,969 What's the test about? 152 00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:47,537 Uh, everything we learned this year. 153 00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,235 Why do they got to do that? It's like they don't trust you. 154 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,674 Can I give you a tip? 155 00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,327 I am all ears. 156 00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:56,764 Sit near someone smart. 157 00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:58,592 Are you suggesting I cheat? 158 00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:01,769 Of course not. 159 00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:06,121 Aah, this is impossible. How am I supposed to concentrate 160 00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:08,732 when everything I read makes me think of Cindy? 161 00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:10,125 Basal ganglia? 162 00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,909 Cindy's favorite herb is basil. 163 00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:13,302 Corpus callosum? 164 00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:15,870 Cindy's grandmother lives in Corpus Christi. 165 00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,872 Frontal lobes? 166 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:20,483 Never mind. 167 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:21,832 Sweetheart, take a hike. 168 00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,834 Ah.Not you. 169 00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:26,446 Do you have some homework you can do? 170 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,491 I can find some. 171 00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,669 First of all, I want you to know I'm proud of you. 172 00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:34,671 You're showing a lot of discipline. 173 00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:35,933 You think? 174 00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,674 Trust me, I know. 175 00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,720 Sex can be like an addiction. 176 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,636 It's tough to quit even when you know you should. 177 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,246 But you got to stay strong. 178 00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:48,293 Ah, thank you, Riley Jaan. Your words have inspired me. 179 00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:50,948 Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, 180 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,385 Vanessa just put up the Bat-Signal. 181 00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:56,650 What happened to staying strong? 182 00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:58,956 It's too late for me. Save yourself. 183 00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,708 Hi. 184 00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:13,884 Hi. 185 00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,800 I'll just close this. 186 00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:26,941 So, I just reached out to Professor Brett, and if 187 00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,595 I meet him at his office, he's gonna help me study. 188 00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:29,857 What a guy. 189 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,859 Right now?Right now. 190 00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:35,906 Oh, that's weird. I'm, uh, about to go and have dinner with him. 191 00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:38,474 Really? Really. 192 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,520 Shoot. 193 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,435 Get back in there. 194 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:44,828 Please. I am 195 00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,438 going through dopamine withdrawal. 196 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:48,440 And that is not an excuse. That is actual psychology. 197 00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:50,486 Is it now?Yes! My brain has become dependent 198 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,967 on a certain level of gratification. 199 00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:55,056 When you think about it, having sex with Cindy 200 00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:57,537 is just hands-on learning. 201 00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:58,625 What time is it in Kabul? 202 00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,365 I'm going! 203 00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:07,590 What are you doing out here? 204 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:08,722 Someone could see you. 205 00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:10,201 Can we talk?Yeah, let's go inside. 206 00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:11,812 No, I won't be able to say what I got to say. 207 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:14,379 There's a bed in there. 208 00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,468 Fine. What is it? 209 00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:19,341 I just feel like this is messing with my head, 210 00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,038 my basal ganglia. 211 00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:25,042 What?It's a part of the brain. I've been helping Al study. 212 00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,916 I feel weird sneaking around like this. 213 00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,657 What else are we gonna do? 214 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,615 I don't know. Not this. 215 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,704 Don't you want more?Riley, 216 00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,837 this is all I've got right now. 217 00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:42,016 Then I think I'm done. 218 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,758 That's it? 219 00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,281 You're done with me? 220 00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:48,631 No, I'm done with this. 221 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,155 Okay. 222 00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:54,768 Sounds like you've made up your mind. 223 00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:57,422 I have. 224 00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:00,208 Well... 225 00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:02,210 the room's already paid for, so, 226 00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,429 I'm gonna go take a shower. 227 00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,480 Oh! Damn it! 228 00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,494 Whoa! 229 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,629 Hey, buddy. 230 00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,415 Appreciate you taking out the garbage. 231 00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:34,938 Sure. Sure. Um, 232 00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:37,375 what's happening to my car? 233 00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:39,377 You've been working so hard, 234 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:41,684 I thought I'd do you a favor and rotate your tires. 235 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,251 That wasn't necessary. 236 00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:45,209 Oh, stop. You deserve it. 237 00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:47,603 It's not like you're going anywhere. 238 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,909 True. 239 00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:53,000 Which is a shame because you look snappy. Hmm. 240 00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:57,569 Isn't part of rotating the tires putting them back on? 241 00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:59,659 Yeah. 242 00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,444 Don't bother looking for 'em, though. 243 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:03,488 Why not? 244 00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:06,056 'Cause I also took out your battery. 245 00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:15,152 It's a nice surprise, you showing up. 246 00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,719 It's been a weird couple of days around here. 247 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,329 Yeah, it wasn't my idea. 248 00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,723 Riley sent me a text saying you needed some girlfriend time. 249 00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:23,160 Well, that was thoughtful of him. 250 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,467 I wonder if he needs money. 251 00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:27,643 Where's Al? 252 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,079 He's in the garage studying. 253 00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:31,299 No, he's not. I thought you were watching him. 254 00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:32,343 I thought you were watching him. 255 00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,823 He must've snuck out 256 00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:35,390 while you were out here having pizza with Lois. 257 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,740 Hey, you're the one who invited me. 258 00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:38,828 No, I didn't. 259 00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:42,789 Yes, you did. Here. Look at this text. 260 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,355 "You are the only river 261 00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:48,490 that can quench my father's thirst for love and affection." 262 00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:52,842 That sound like me? 263 00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:55,323 Damn it! We got played. 264 00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,759 What do you want to bet he's at Cindy's? 265 00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,021 Let's go get him. 266 00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,022 Ooh, can I come? 267 00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:00,023 Might get ugly. 268 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,156 That's why I'm asking. 269 00:12:02,199 --> 00:12:04,680 Come on. 270 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,382 This is exciting. 271 00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:13,689 You think we'll get to break a door down? 272 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,038 Maybe. 273 00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:17,737 Well, fingers crossed. 274 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,218 So, where does this Cindy live? 275 00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:22,567 No idea. 276 00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:24,874 Well, then where are we going?The VFW. 277 00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,441 Holly knows the address. 278 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,095 Isn't that the girl you cheated on? 279 00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,010 Thanks, Dad. 280 00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:31,968 It's good stuff. 281 00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:41,108 Hey. Hey. 282 00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:42,979 Back for more spit? 283 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,678 I, um... I need Cindy's address. 284 00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,290 Why? You gonna sleep with her, too? 285 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,727 Al's there, and I got to rescue him. 286 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,424 From what? 287 00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,904 He's gonna flunk out of school 288 00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,558 if he doesn't get his act together. 289 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,778 What does Cindy have to do with it? 290 00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:01,911 She's, uh-- well, I don't know how to say it-- 291 00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:05,741 she's... distracting his brains out? 292 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,743 Yeah. 293 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,310 That's Cindy. 294 00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,790 Tell you what. 295 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:13,314 I'll give you the address if you answer one question. 296 00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:16,970 When you were sleeping with me, were you still in love with her? 297 00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:23,411 Yes. 298 00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:27,850 Okay. 299 00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:37,947 Thank you. 300 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,126 So what do we do if he won't come with us? 301 00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,128 All we can do is talk to him like an adult. 302 00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:48,044 And if that doesn't work?You get his arms, I'll get his legs. 303 00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:49,219 What do I get? 304 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,308 I don't know. You open doors. 305 00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:53,571 Aw. 306 00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,357 Oh. Riley. 307 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,054 Well, this is a surprise. 308 00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,622 Is Al here?Yeah, he's in the bedroom. 309 00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,059 Hello. 310 00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:04,887 Ma'am. 311 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,937 So, between the three of you, nobody has a phone? 312 00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,553 Your friend Riley is here, 313 00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,468 and I think he brought two cops with him. 314 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:22,339 What? 315 00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:25,081 They're undercover, but I can tell. 316 00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:27,910 This is about my final exam. 317 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,738 He wants me to go home and study. 318 00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:32,915 You would tell me if you were 15 years old, right? 319 00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:36,440 Do me a favor. 320 00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:37,702 Say I went out the window 321 00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:40,749 and climbed down the wall like Spider-man. 322 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,970 Boy, can I pick 'em. 323 00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:47,712 Look. He just smiled at me. 324 00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,497 Dad, can fish smile? 325 00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,760 Sure. 326 00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,983 I'm sorry, but Al is indisposed. 327 00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:59,724 Yeah, well, I'm sorry. I can't take "no" for an answer. 328 00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,465 Well, it's the only answer I got, cop. 329 00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,772 Now get out of my apartment! 330 00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:06,557 Just let me talk to him. 331 00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:07,994 Unless we're done talking. 332 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:10,083 Easy, girl. 333 00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,650 I told him you were here. 334 00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:14,870 He doesn't want to see you. End of story. 335 00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:18,569 Okay. You win, Al! We're leaving! 336 00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:21,311 You want to flunk out of school, your call. 337 00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:22,922 Come on. 338 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,141 I was ready to rumble. 339 00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:26,795 I know. 340 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:29,841 I really like your fish.Out! 341 00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:36,152 Huh? 342 00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,414 They're gone. 343 00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,590 Thank you. Now... 344 00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:41,897 where were we? 345 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,552 Are you really gonna flunk out?Eh. 346 00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,554 Doesn't matter. When you're in my arms, 347 00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:49,426 the rest of the world doesn't exist. 348 00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,776 Oh, that is so lovely. 349 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:54,040 Now put your pants on and go home. 350 00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,172 What is happening? 351 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,870 Not gonna let you throw away your education. 352 00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:01,743 This here, right now, ismy education. 353 00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:05,355 No, I'm cutting you off until you pass that exam. 354 00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:06,748 You're bluffing. 355 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,664 You want me... 356 00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:12,797 as much as I want you. 357 00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:16,976 Not bluffing. 358 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,460 What? 359 00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:26,986 I was just thinking about the first time you and me hooked up. 360 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,814 The night of the homecoming dance? 361 00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:33,514 No, it was earlier than that, in the car. 362 00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,212 Oh. I don't count that one. 363 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,216 How can you not count it? 364 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:42,218 Really? 365 00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:44,568 You don't remember apologizing? 366 00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:48,746 Don't blame yourself. 367 00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:51,271 It was our first time. 368 00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:58,669 It was your first time, right? 369 00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,671 Yeah, of course it was... 370 00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,586 You rat bastard. 371 00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:04,023 What do you want from me? 372 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,199 I lettered in three sports, I was super popular. 373 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:09,071 Oh, my gosh. 374 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:19,864 You have never been more beautiful. 375 00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:24,782 There's something I need to tell you. 376 00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:28,221 What? 377 00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:32,616 God. Um... 378 00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,923 there's no good way to say this. 379 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:38,579 Say what? 380 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:44,585 Freddy asked me to marry him. 381 00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:50,765 You said "no," right? 382 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,291 Right? 383 00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:05,214 Professor, 384 00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:06,737 do you have a moment? 385 00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:09,827 Mr. Karimi, what can I do for you outside of office hours? 386 00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:13,744 I just wanted to tell you I felt really good about the exam. 387 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,659 Oh, I'm happy for you.Yes. 388 00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,096 I felt really good. 389 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:19,010 All righty. 390 00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:21,143 Well, thanks for stopping by. 391 00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:24,190 Uh, have you graded them yet? 392 00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:26,844 What do you think?Oh, sure, sure. 393 00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:28,846 So, uh... 394 00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:31,240 when? 395 00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:33,895 I don't know. A couple days, a week. 396 00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:36,506 A week, as in seven days? 397 00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:38,334 What are you worried about? You studied, right? 398 00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,858 Like my life depended on it.Then I'm sure you did fine. 399 00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:42,251 Yes, I-I know I did fine. 400 00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,688 But I need proof.Why? 401 00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:47,256 Well, uh, since you ask, um, 402 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,172 my mother is very concerned about my grades. 403 00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:53,088 Tell her not to be. You're a very smart young man. 404 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,785 Mm, as are you. 405 00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,526 But all this time 406 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:59,747 we're talking, you-you could be grading my exam. 407 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:03,185 All right, Mr. Karimi, what's really going on here? 408 00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:06,145 My mother...Mr. Karimi! 409 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,581 My girlfriend won't have sex with me 410 00:19:07,624 --> 00:19:10,192 unless I pass this course! 411 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,542 Why didn't you just lead with that? Yeah. 412 00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:16,372 All right, let's see what we have here. 413 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,766 You know, the promise of sex is the driving force 414 00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,420 in a lot of human behavior. 415 00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,944 Dial down the chitchat. Just grade the exam. 416 00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,599 Yeah, go ahead. 27006

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