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1
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Hello, ladies. Hi, my name's Stuart.
2
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- My good friend Wade right here.
- Hi.
3
00:00:20,899 --> 00:00:21,932
- Hi, I'm Ashleigh.
- Hi.
4
00:00:22,234 --> 00:00:24,135
- This is Mel.
- How's it going?
5
00:00:24,436 --> 00:00:26,604
- How's your night going?
- Good.
6
00:00:26,938 --> 00:00:29,707
Someone just mistook her for Mila Kunis.
7
00:00:30,075 --> 00:00:31,676
- Oh, yeah.
- Yes, you do look like Mila, doesn't she?
8
00:00:32,077 --> 00:00:33,443
- Yeah.
- And you look like someone famous as well.
9
00:00:33,745 --> 00:00:35,246
- Really?
- Yeah, who is it?
10
00:00:35,580 --> 00:00:37,347
- I know who it is.
- It's a movie star, isn't it?
11
00:00:37,749 --> 00:00:40,217
- Yes, it is. Yes, it is. It's Jude Law.
- Jude Law.
12
00:00:40,418 --> 00:00:42,352
He's a man.
13
00:00:42,387 --> 00:00:43,720
Beautiful man, though, isn't he?
14
00:00:43,755 --> 00:00:45,756
- Gorgeous Jude.
- Definitely.
15
00:00:46,091 --> 00:00:47,391
Hey, if Jude Law were
a woman, I'd date him.
16
00:00:47,425 --> 00:00:48,725
There you go. Now, this guy's choosy.
17
00:00:49,094 --> 00:00:51,695
You should see his ex-wife... beautiful.
18
00:00:51,962 --> 00:00:53,363
- Sorry.
- Oh, don't worry.
19
00:00:53,765 --> 00:00:55,732
Honestly, they'd be
lucky to have you, mate.
20
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:57,467
- I'm just pleased you're back on the horse.
- Yeah.
21
00:00:57,769 --> 00:01:00,570
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
22
00:01:00,938 --> 00:01:03,674
Oh, man, we're all so old.
23
00:01:03,974 --> 00:01:06,609
You're 30 and I'm turning 26 next year.
24
00:01:06,944 --> 00:01:09,612
- Yup, both of us. So old.
- Yeah.
25
00:01:09,947 --> 00:01:13,049
- So how are you?
- Oh, I'm really good.
26
00:01:13,483 --> 00:01:16,352
Yeah, I just booked a part in the
new Steven Spielberg miniseries.
27
00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:17,854
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah.
28
00:01:18,155 --> 00:01:20,190
- Congratulations. Wow.
- Thanks.
29
00:01:20,624 --> 00:01:23,025
- Yeah, what about you?
- Oh, you know, just this and that.
30
00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:26,261
Don't be modest. She has a
callback for a yogurt commercial.
31
00:01:26,496 --> 00:01:28,197
- Yeah?
- Cool.
32
00:01:28,465 --> 00:01:30,132
I love yogurt.
33
00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:33,803
Oh, yeah, it's good for digestion.
34
00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:35,838
Can I just say how much I love your dress?
35
00:01:36,172 --> 00:01:38,140
Yes, you said that when
you hit on me an hour ago.
36
00:01:38,342 --> 00:01:40,142
Oh, did I...
37
00:01:43,179 --> 00:01:44,980
- And no change in the last hour?
- No.
38
00:01:45,348 --> 00:01:46,781
- No, all right.
- You're not drinking tonight?
39
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,283
- I have a surprise for you guys.
- What?
40
00:01:48,318 --> 00:01:50,385
We're having a baby.
41
00:01:50,686 --> 00:01:51,854
- You wanna see a picture?
- Yeah.
42
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,156
- Oh, it's gorgeous.
- Thank you.
43
00:01:54,523 --> 00:01:57,392
- It's so pretty.
- You know, it looks just like you.
44
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,460
Oh, really? Thank you.
45
00:01:58,661 --> 00:01:59,627
Oh, yeah. Wow.
46
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,295
- Be your turn next.
- Oh, no, no, no.
47
00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,865
- I don't think so.
- We always use protection.
48
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,933
- You know the singer Bryan Adams, right?
- Yeah.
49
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,903
Did you know he can make
a girl come in 30 seconds?
50
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,873
- Ohh.
- No, no. No one can make a girl come in 30 seconds.
51
00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:13,807
Oh, really? So you don't
want to know how he does it?
52
00:02:14,209 --> 00:02:15,977
- Well, I will as I'm here.
- It's all in the fingers.
53
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,512
How do you know Bryan
Adams' fingering technique?
54
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,681
So a lot of people have been
coming up to me and saying, like,
55
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:21,749
"So what's the deal with you and Glenn?"
56
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,118
- Have they?
- Yeah.
57
00:02:24,152 --> 00:02:26,854
- What do you say when people ask you that?
- Nobody asked me that.
58
00:02:27,222 --> 00:02:28,722
Well, yeah, but, I mean, if
they did, what would you say?
59
00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:29,790
I'd tell them to mind their own business.
60
00:02:29,824 --> 00:02:31,124
Well, okay, yeah, but hypothetically,
61
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,727
if they made you answer,
what would you say?
62
00:02:34,228 --> 00:02:35,962
- How would they make me?
- If they had a knife to your throat or something?
63
00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:37,731
- I don't know.
- I'd rather go to the grave
64
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:40,367
than give them the
satisfaction of intimidating me.
65
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,536
Good for you.
66
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,438
Happy birthday.
67
00:02:47,275 --> 00:02:48,741
- Yeah.
- Here we go.
68
00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:50,743
Okay.
69
00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,349
- Did you make a wish?
- No, I'm not wishing for you to have a threesome, Stuart.
70
00:02:56,717 --> 00:02:58,751
- You're so selfish.
71
00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:02,555
- Hello?
- Hello, Stuey?
72
00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:05,658
- Yeah, who's this?
- It's Trudy.
73
00:03:06,059 --> 00:03:08,528
Guess what, I'm coming to Los Angeles.
74
00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:53,403
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
75
00:04:06,384 --> 00:04:08,518
Okay, we're set.
76
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:10,486
And action.
77
00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:15,591
You're enjoying the yogurt.
78
00:04:15,626 --> 00:04:17,059
Okay, could you do that sexier?
79
00:04:18,328 --> 00:04:20,496
No, sexier.
80
00:04:23,166 --> 00:04:24,566
Are you doing your sexy?
81
00:04:24,867 --> 00:04:26,001
- That's your sexy?
- Yeah.
82
00:04:26,336 --> 00:04:27,336
Okay, we're gonna leave the sexy for now.
83
00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:28,837
Okay.
84
00:04:29,205 --> 00:04:31,573
We're gonna have this
cartoon yogurt monster
85
00:04:32,008 --> 00:04:33,675
and he's gonna chase you around
and try to steal your yogurt.
86
00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:36,178
Can we show her the picture of Yogi?
87
00:04:38,214 --> 00:04:39,481
This is the yogurt monster.
88
00:04:39,849 --> 00:04:42,651
Okay, so imagine that
Yogi is standing behind you
89
00:04:42,885 --> 00:04:44,152
and you're scared.
90
00:04:46,355 --> 00:04:47,756
Okay, you're not that
scared. He's not a rapist.
91
00:04:48,558 --> 00:04:50,725
Once again, please.
92
00:04:51,027 --> 00:04:52,594
That's better.
93
00:04:52,895 --> 00:04:54,596
He's come after you now and you're running.
94
00:04:55,031 --> 00:04:57,465
- Oh, ah.
- Yeah, gotta run, gotta run from Yogi.
95
00:04:57,866 --> 00:04:58,933
- Ah, whoa.
- Just keep going in a circle.
96
00:04:59,234 --> 00:05:00,435
You're trying to sort of confuse him.
97
00:05:00,702 --> 00:05:02,336
Kind of confuse the monster.
98
00:05:02,371 --> 00:05:04,772
- Please go faster. Is that...
- Okay.
99
00:05:05,074 --> 00:05:07,241
Is that really all you can do there?
100
00:05:07,709 --> 00:05:10,511
- I just want to see a real amount of speed here.
- Yeah.
101
00:05:10,879 --> 00:05:12,513
And now you've fallen over.
102
00:05:12,548 --> 00:05:14,214
There you go.
103
00:05:14,549 --> 00:05:16,750
And he's coming up and...
oh, no, he's got your yogurt.
104
00:05:17,218 --> 00:05:19,186
And you are furious about this and
you're shaking your fist at him.
105
00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:20,754
Oh, Yogi.
106
00:05:21,089 --> 00:05:22,923
No speaking. There's no dialog in this.
107
00:05:23,224 --> 00:05:24,792
It's very important that you never speak.
108
00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:28,762
Let's have you on your back and
sort of kick your legs up in the air.
109
00:05:28,797 --> 00:05:30,997
Like a cockroach.
110
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:32,799
If you saw a disgusting cockroach,
111
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,635
you sprayed it with bug spray, and
now it's on its back just slowly dying.
112
00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:38,138
Yup, just like a dirty,
little cockroach. There you go.
113
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,323
This is Glenn.
114
00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,626
- Hey, Glenn. It's Stuart.
- Chicken Wings.
115
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,427
What's going on, buddy?
116
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,729
Oh, I'll tell you, mate, I'm
afraid I've come a-begging.
117
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,964
Got quite an important date coming up
118
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,899
and I need a super hot
chick to take with me.
119
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,102
I wondered if you had any sweet-ass
honeys you could send my way.
120
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,070
Yeah, I can get you a prostitute.
121
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,307
No, no. I was thinking
more a friend or a client.
122
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,009
- Relative.
- Yeah.
123
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:18,810
I don't know if you have a sister,
124
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,446
but if she's half as attractive
as you, I'd be interested.
125
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:22,981
- I'm an only child.
- Damn.
126
00:06:23,315 --> 00:06:25,350
- That's a no.
- Do you know Alan Randall?
127
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:26,551
- No.
- Yes.
128
00:06:26,585 --> 00:06:27,853
- Who... yeah.
- Yeah, no, we...
129
00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:29,755
- no, wait, no.
- Not sure I do.
130
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,957
Bigwig in finance. He's a great guy.
131
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,026
He's having a boat party this Saturday.
132
00:06:34,326 --> 00:06:35,994
Wall-to-wall models and bottles.
133
00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:37,195
I could probably get you an invite.
134
00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:39,030
You've intrigued me, sir.
135
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:42,467
- Our interests are piqued, sir.
- You can put my name on the list.
136
00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:45,703
- Hey, your roommate just showed up.
- Oh, hey, Jessica.
137
00:06:45,971 --> 00:06:47,272
- Hi, Jessica.
- Hi, Rory.
138
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,174
- Hi, Stuart.
- Got to jump off.
139
00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:50,775
- Bye.
- Bye.
140
00:06:50,809 --> 00:06:53,878
Boat party.
141
00:06:58,349 --> 00:06:59,750
Sorry, you know you're not coming?
142
00:06:59,785 --> 00:07:01,451
I know, I just love that song.
143
00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:02,787
- Who sings that?
- I just made it up.
144
00:07:03,021 --> 00:07:04,555
- You just made that up?
- Yeah.
145
00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:06,490
That's... are you... that's one
of the best songs I've ever heard.
146
00:07:06,858 --> 00:07:09,026
- What?
- Yeah. That should be on the radio.
147
00:07:09,327 --> 00:07:10,160
- Oh, really? Thanks.
- Yeah, it's great.
148
00:07:10,195 --> 00:07:11,795
Boat party, boat party.
149
00:07:12,163 --> 00:07:14,164
I came to L.A. to be Meryl Streep,
150
00:07:14,499 --> 00:07:18,602
not to get chased around by
some stupid yogurt monster.
151
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:20,237
Well, you don't become
Meryl Streep overnight.
152
00:07:20,505 --> 00:07:22,573
I've been here for 10 years.
153
00:07:22,607 --> 00:07:26,642
Acting just doesn't make me happy anymore.
154
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:29,746
Constantly being judged and competing
155
00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:33,049
with 100 other girls
for some three-line role.
156
00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:35,284
I can't do this anymore.
157
00:07:35,552 --> 00:07:38,188
I'm quitting.
158
00:07:38,222 --> 00:07:40,223
Just... let's take a beat.
159
00:07:40,357 --> 00:07:42,158
Okay?
160
00:07:42,359 --> 00:07:44,527
Come here.
161
00:07:52,703 --> 00:07:54,503
Are you texting?
162
00:07:54,538 --> 00:07:56,939
No. It's just a quick e-mail.
163
00:07:58,908 --> 00:08:01,910
You know, I'm not sure I want this either.
164
00:08:02,245 --> 00:08:05,080
I'm not even sure I know what this is.
165
00:08:05,414 --> 00:08:07,282
- This is just two people...
- Having fun.
166
00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:09,184
Yeah, I got it.
167
00:08:09,552 --> 00:08:11,486
Glenn, can you just be
honest with me for once?
168
00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:13,622
Is this ever gonna be a real relationship?
169
00:08:13,890 --> 00:08:16,791
I can definitely
170
00:08:17,226 --> 00:08:20,928
foresee a time when we
could approach the prospect
171
00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:23,398
of that being an eventuality.
172
00:08:23,599 --> 00:08:25,433
Good-bye, Glenn.
173
00:08:25,468 --> 00:08:28,603
- Wait a sec...
- And I really am quitting acting,
174
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:31,939
so also, you're fired.
175
00:08:32,241 --> 00:08:34,308
Wha... Jessica, come on.
176
00:08:34,342 --> 00:08:36,477
Jessica.
177
00:08:36,611 --> 00:08:38,412
Jessica!
178
00:08:50,425 --> 00:08:52,426
- So what are you gonna do instead of acting?
- I have no idea.
179
00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:56,196
- What does Glenn think?
- I don't care. I broke up with him.
180
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:59,166
- Why?
- Because he's an asshole.
181
00:08:59,434 --> 00:09:01,402
I am looking for the one.
182
00:09:01,803 --> 00:09:04,971
And the one doesn't just call
you when he's feeling horny.
183
00:09:07,008 --> 00:09:09,976
- Okay, I know what you're thinking.
- What?
184
00:09:10,011 --> 00:09:12,245
You're wondering if you can
still hang out with Glenn.
185
00:09:12,646 --> 00:09:15,348
How can you say that? That's...
my allegiance is to you.
186
00:09:15,382 --> 00:09:16,716
Come on.
187
00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:19,286
Although he was gonna take me
to a boat party over the weekend.
188
00:09:19,653 --> 00:09:22,254
- Oh, Stuart, you are unbelievable.
- Oh, come on.
189
00:09:22,656 --> 00:09:23,423
No, no, no. Stop. There's
going to be models there.
190
00:09:23,791 --> 00:09:24,557
There's going to be models there.
191
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:27,159
What is your obsession with models?
192
00:09:27,194 --> 00:09:29,595
I need to date a model
within the next three weeks.
193
00:09:29,996 --> 00:09:32,998
Or what happens? Do the kidnappers
kill the president's daughter?
194
00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:35,201
No.
195
00:09:35,235 --> 00:09:37,403
All right, if I tell you,
you can't tell anyone else.
196
00:09:37,438 --> 00:09:40,772
Oh, who would I tell? Who's
interested in your sex life?
197
00:09:40,807 --> 00:09:42,708
- Loads of people.
- Oh, yeah? Name three.
198
00:09:42,742 --> 00:09:45,410
Kives, my parents,
199
00:09:45,645 --> 00:09:48,080
the computer world.
200
00:09:48,114 --> 00:09:51,616
- They're really interested?
- Yes, they're very... it's a very gossipy environment.
201
00:09:52,018 --> 00:09:53,352
- Wow.
- Because they've got nothing else to live for, have they?
202
00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:56,355
Just nerds. Nerds going, "I wonder
who Stuart's having sex with?"
203
00:09:57,824 --> 00:09:59,658
Well, listen, all right, I'll tell you.
204
00:10:00,025 --> 00:10:02,394
I used to be kind of
awkward when I was at school
205
00:10:02,695 --> 00:10:04,763
and never really knew how to talk to girls.
206
00:10:06,599 --> 00:10:08,867
Even if a girl did talk to me,
207
00:10:09,201 --> 00:10:11,135
it was normally just to fill the time
208
00:10:11,503 --> 00:10:13,404
until someone better came along.
209
00:10:25,017 --> 00:10:26,517
Drink!
210
00:10:26,551 --> 00:10:29,387
Then at college, it was
pretty much the same story.
211
00:10:31,189 --> 00:10:33,491
- Ooh, hang on.
- Who's next?
212
00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:34,992
I'll have a go, yeah.
213
00:10:35,394 --> 00:10:38,195
I'd do anything to impress some random girl
214
00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:39,930
that I didn't even know the name of.
215
00:10:46,704 --> 00:10:51,008
After college, I got a
job at an I.T. company
216
00:10:51,042 --> 00:10:52,542
and I met this girl there.
217
00:10:52,911 --> 00:10:55,678
Her name was Trudy and
we started going out.
218
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:56,914
And Trudy was great.
219
00:10:57,215 --> 00:10:59,182
She was really sweet and smart
220
00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:01,885
and we were just sort of
in tune with each other.
221
00:11:04,388 --> 00:11:06,989
Like this salesman, Mike
Moffet, joined the company...
222
00:11:07,257 --> 00:11:09,992
total alpha male, loud and brash.
223
00:11:10,027 --> 00:11:11,594
You know, all the rest of it.
224
00:11:16,901 --> 00:11:19,435
Trudy and I used to laugh
about what a dick he was.
225
00:11:22,505 --> 00:11:26,675
And then, I remember, about three
months after Mike joined the company...
226
00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:28,911
Oh, sorry.
227
00:11:36,953 --> 00:11:38,587
So sorry.
228
00:11:38,955 --> 00:11:41,657
That's when I decided
to move here, you know?
229
00:11:41,925 --> 00:11:43,124
Reinvent myself.
230
00:11:43,159 --> 00:11:45,293
Stuart 2.0.
231
00:11:45,595 --> 00:11:47,028
Hello, ladies. My name's Stuart.
232
00:11:47,296 --> 00:11:49,264
With me, my good friend Wade.
233
00:11:49,599 --> 00:11:51,532
Hello, ladies. Pleasure. Wade.
234
00:11:51,567 --> 00:11:53,969
Hi, pleasure. Wade. Nice to meet you.
235
00:11:54,003 --> 00:11:56,104
- Are you...
- Stuart, Stuart!
236
00:12:00,476 --> 00:12:02,577
I got it, I got it.
237
00:12:02,945 --> 00:12:05,880
So what happened to Mike and Trudy?
238
00:12:06,115 --> 00:12:07,648
They got married
239
00:12:07,983 --> 00:12:09,984
and I haven't seen them since I came here.
240
00:12:10,018 --> 00:12:12,453
But Trudy called me when
we were at your birthday
241
00:12:12,788 --> 00:12:15,556
and they're coming out
here in about three weeks.
242
00:12:15,824 --> 00:12:18,559
Well, how does the model help?
243
00:12:18,594 --> 00:12:22,229
'Cause I want them to see me with a
beautiful woman on my arm, you know?
244
00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:24,531
I want Mike to be really jealous
245
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,202
and I want Trudy to go back thinking
she should never have let me go.
246
00:12:28,236 --> 00:12:31,205
I want them to think that I've won at life.
247
00:12:33,975 --> 00:12:35,376
Well, you may hang out with Glenn.
248
00:12:35,676 --> 00:12:39,179
And I hope you find
what you're looking for.
249
00:12:39,214 --> 00:12:42,181
- And I hope you find what you're looking for.
- Thank you.
250
00:12:42,483 --> 00:12:46,019
- To Jessica 2.0.
- Jessica 2.0.
251
00:13:28,201 --> 00:13:30,702
- So how you holding up?
- With what?
252
00:13:30,736 --> 00:13:33,438
You know, with you and Jessica.
253
00:13:33,739 --> 00:13:35,340
Oh, yeah. That was too bad.
254
00:13:35,374 --> 00:13:37,275
She really knows her way around a penis.
255
00:13:37,577 --> 00:13:39,311
I want to introduce you to Alan.
256
00:13:39,745 --> 00:13:41,813
Don't look him directly in
the eye. He's weird about that.
257
00:13:45,084 --> 00:13:47,785
Alan, I want to introduce
you to a friend of mine.
258
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,253
This is Stuart.
259
00:13:49,588 --> 00:13:51,255
Honor and a pleasure to meet you, sir.
260
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,424
I brought you this gift.
261
00:13:53,759 --> 00:13:55,893
- I don't want that.
- A thousand apologies.
262
00:13:56,294 --> 00:14:00,397
Alan, these are some of my
friends. This is Madison.
263
00:14:00,766 --> 00:14:02,299
- Madison, pleasure to meet you.
- Hi.
264
00:14:02,601 --> 00:14:05,102
- Jasmine.
- Jasmine, delighted.
265
00:14:05,270 --> 00:14:06,637
Hi.
266
00:14:06,938 --> 00:14:08,572
And Joan.
267
00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:11,609
- How's it going?
- Meet you guys at the bar.
268
00:14:12,877 --> 00:14:15,146
I thought we said we were
going to make it all 10s.
269
00:14:15,447 --> 00:14:17,748
That last one was, what, six?
270
00:14:17,949 --> 00:14:19,382
Yeah, sorry.
271
00:14:19,416 --> 00:14:21,718
Go on, boys. Have some fun.
272
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,154
Don't flush your condoms.
It fucks up the plumbing.
273
00:14:29,794 --> 00:14:32,663
I guess I feel adrift.
274
00:14:33,131 --> 00:14:35,632
I've spent 10 years telling
everyone I'm an actress
275
00:14:35,999 --> 00:14:39,101
and now that I'm not,
I don't know what I am.
276
00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:42,372
Or what my purpose in life is.
277
00:14:42,806 --> 00:14:45,642
What led you away from
the church to begin with?
278
00:14:45,976 --> 00:14:48,878
Oh, well, I remember when I was a kid,
279
00:14:49,313 --> 00:14:52,148
I asked the pastor how
Jesus rose from the dead...
280
00:14:52,482 --> 00:14:54,650
like, physically, how could he do that?
281
00:14:54,985 --> 00:14:57,119
And he sort of just dodged the question.
282
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,688
And that frustrated me.
283
00:14:58,722 --> 00:15:01,423
Well, sometimes we ask
questions when we're young
284
00:15:01,825 --> 00:15:03,859
only to find the answers when we're older.
285
00:15:04,027 --> 00:15:05,861
Yeah.
286
00:15:07,664 --> 00:15:11,333
So how did he rise from the dead?
287
00:15:11,534 --> 00:15:12,901
He just did.
288
00:15:12,935 --> 00:15:14,869
Okay.
289
00:15:15,171 --> 00:15:17,005
Is there any other questions I can answer?
290
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:19,408
No, I'm good.
291
00:15:25,014 --> 00:15:26,647
- Do you shave your testes?
- Every day.
292
00:15:26,682 --> 00:15:29,250
And what is that, is that a wet shave?
293
00:15:29,518 --> 00:15:31,452
- Hi, Glenn.
- Hey, baby.
294
00:15:31,687 --> 00:15:33,654
Stop the presses.
295
00:15:34,023 --> 00:15:36,591
- Blimey, who's that?
- Tatiana Ludnova.
296
00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:39,227
- Come on, I'll introduce you.
- Hang on.
297
00:15:39,528 --> 00:15:41,162
That's the big leagues.
298
00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:42,697
Got any words of advice you could give?
299
00:15:42,731 --> 00:15:45,099
All right, first off, Google her.
300
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,535
- Right. Why...
- Got to get intel.
301
00:15:47,569 --> 00:15:49,237
Check her Instagram.
302
00:15:49,404 --> 00:15:51,439
Her with her dogs.
303
00:15:51,707 --> 00:15:53,374
Skiing at New Year.
304
00:15:53,709 --> 00:15:56,043
- You're all set.
- Am I?
305
00:15:56,545 --> 00:15:58,612
When you start talking to her,
there's three things you need to do...
306
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,413
one, establish a connection,
307
00:16:00,882 --> 00:16:03,516
two, break the touch barrier, and
three, sexualize the conversation.
308
00:16:03,752 --> 00:16:05,652
And four, don't be a pussy.
309
00:16:06,054 --> 00:16:07,487
Connection, touch,
sexualize, pussy. I've got it.
310
00:16:07,889 --> 00:16:10,858
- Hey, Tatiana, you like dogs, right?
- Yes.
311
00:16:11,226 --> 00:16:13,493
- My buddy Stuart loves dogs.
- Woof.
312
00:16:13,728 --> 00:16:15,695
You two should talk.
313
00:16:16,063 --> 00:16:18,064
Connection established,
break the touch barrier.
314
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:21,834
- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.
315
00:16:22,069 --> 00:16:25,305
Yes, dogs.
316
00:16:25,606 --> 00:16:26,939
When you went skiing at New Year,
317
00:16:27,275 --> 00:16:29,776
what do you do, do you
put them in kennels or...
318
00:16:30,077 --> 00:16:31,778
How do you know I went skiing on New Year?
319
00:16:35,582 --> 00:16:37,650
I think I just guessed.
320
00:16:38,085 --> 00:16:40,052
- Or maybe you're psychic.
- No, there's no such thing.
321
00:16:40,087 --> 00:16:41,720
- Well, I'm psychic.
- Are you really?
322
00:16:42,089 --> 00:16:43,189
There must be some truth
to it. There has to be.
323
00:16:43,456 --> 00:16:44,857
- Absolutely.
- Right.
324
00:16:45,259 --> 00:16:46,659
- One time my father was flying to Omsk...
- Oh, yeah?
325
00:16:46,693 --> 00:16:48,260
... I had a dream that
his plane would crash.
326
00:16:48,461 --> 00:16:49,595
So my father didn't fly.
327
00:16:49,929 --> 00:16:52,564
The next week, the same flight crashed.
328
00:16:52,599 --> 00:16:54,767
Fuck off. That's terrifying.
329
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,436
Oh, my God. Jeez, you
must be... are you okay?
330
00:16:57,604 --> 00:16:59,338
- Yeah.
- Wow.
331
00:16:59,372 --> 00:17:03,108
I mean, it's basically
a jewelry line for men.
332
00:17:03,142 --> 00:17:05,143
But my main thing is an actor,
333
00:17:05,178 --> 00:17:08,346
- but everybody says that out here, right?
- Yeah, totally.
334
00:17:08,647 --> 00:17:10,415
I actually just gave up acting.
335
00:17:10,649 --> 00:17:12,317
Oh, no way. What do you do now?
336
00:17:12,651 --> 00:17:14,986
- That's a good question.
- Thank you.
337
00:17:15,321 --> 00:17:18,089
Yeah, just, um, trying
to figure it out, I guess.
338
00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:21,492
- Yeah.
- You know, I actually went to church earlier.
339
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,095
- But, eh, I don't really think that's for me.
- I totally feel you.
340
00:17:25,497 --> 00:17:27,665
You know, I tried
Christianity, I tried Buddhism.
341
00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:29,801
Fucked around with Islam for a little bit,
342
00:17:30,135 --> 00:17:32,370
but organized religion, man, not for me.
343
00:17:32,638 --> 00:17:34,505
But I am very spiritual.
344
00:17:34,973 --> 00:17:37,674
I just feel like everything
happens for a reason.
345
00:17:37,709 --> 00:17:40,510
- Yeah.
- Even this party happened for a reason?
346
00:17:40,545 --> 00:17:43,047
- Yeah.
- Well, what about something like 9/11?
347
00:17:43,315 --> 00:17:45,382
No. No, not 9/11.
348
00:17:45,817 --> 00:17:47,784
9/11 didn't even happen
the way they said it did.
349
00:17:48,186 --> 00:17:50,420
There's a whole YouTube
video on it. It's amazing.
350
00:17:50,989 --> 00:17:53,824
Speaking of YouTube, have you seen the
video of the pig waking up from a dream?
351
00:17:53,858 --> 00:17:58,261
- No, I don't think so.
- Amazing.
352
00:17:58,529 --> 00:18:00,831
Glenn, sorry to interrupt.
353
00:18:01,165 --> 00:18:03,199
I broke the touch barrier, what was next?
354
00:18:03,501 --> 00:18:05,535
Sexualize the conversation.
355
00:18:05,570 --> 00:18:07,170
How do I do that exactly?
356
00:18:07,538 --> 00:18:09,272
Just find a subtle way to
bring sex into the equation.
357
00:18:09,507 --> 00:18:11,507
Pardon me.
358
00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:19,349
Oh, yeah.
359
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,084
Don't you just love the ocean?
360
00:18:21,218 --> 00:18:23,086
Yes, I do.
361
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:24,854
Very much.
362
00:18:28,057 --> 00:18:30,726
Did you know that Bryan Adams can
make a woman come in 30 seconds?
363
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:33,462
- What?
- Sorry, it's just something I heard.
364
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:37,533
- How?
- It's all to do with the fingers, apparently.
365
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:40,168
Tell me more.
366
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,371
I love your hair.
367
00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:45,140
- May I touch it?
- Okay.
368
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:46,909
Okay.
369
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,143
Yeah.
370
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,045
It's beautiful.
371
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:53,282
These layers are so smooth and silky.
372
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:56,251
Okay. Thank you.
373
00:18:56,585 --> 00:18:58,686
- So... so nice talking with you.
- You, too.
374
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,221
- Yeah.
- Hey, let me get your digis.
375
00:19:00,589 --> 00:19:01,489
- Um...
- Yeah, we should keep conversing.
376
00:19:01,757 --> 00:19:03,190
- This is amazing.
- Ooh.
377
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,593
You know what? Why don't you
just pop it right in here?
378
00:19:05,761 --> 00:19:07,962
Sure.
379
00:19:09,598 --> 00:19:10,665
- There you go.
- Thank you.
380
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:12,834
And I'll call you right now
just so you have my number.
381
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,368
- Oh, no. That's not necessary.
- It's easier.
382
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,938
Eh, you don't need to do that.
383
00:19:17,272 --> 00:19:19,573
And then this one's sort of
doing a come-hither motion.
384
00:19:19,607 --> 00:19:20,975
And then you sort of combine...
385
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:24,345
sorry, excuse me one sec.
386
00:19:24,379 --> 00:19:27,581
- Hello?
- Well, that's weird.
387
00:19:27,615 --> 00:19:29,350
Just called England.
388
00:19:29,584 --> 00:19:31,518
Ugh, Verizon, right?
389
00:19:31,786 --> 00:19:33,921
Well, you have my number,
390
00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:36,790
- so, yeah.
- Okay.
391
00:19:42,129 --> 00:19:43,797
If I ever meet the person
who invented high heels,
392
00:19:44,098 --> 00:19:45,566
I'm taking them outside and shooting them.
393
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,668
Oh, yeah, definitely. Fucking fascist.
394
00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:00,013
Yup, gotta stay hydrated.
395
00:20:01,115 --> 00:20:02,315
Cheers to that.
396
00:20:02,616 --> 00:20:04,951
Super.
397
00:20:13,293 --> 00:20:15,695
- You know, if you want to kiss me, you can.
- Pardon?
398
00:20:15,996 --> 00:20:19,832
If you want to kiss me, you can.
399
00:20:24,471 --> 00:20:26,805
I would like to. Please.
400
00:20:28,808 --> 00:20:31,143
- Let me finish this e-mail.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
401
00:20:38,818 --> 00:20:41,019
- Ready now?
- Yes.
402
00:21:05,377 --> 00:21:07,011
We made out for 20 minutes.
403
00:21:07,046 --> 00:21:08,513
Oh, just a little FYI...
404
00:21:08,847 --> 00:21:11,215
Russian models kiss just like you and I.
405
00:21:11,517 --> 00:21:12,650
You know your kids are gonna be bilingual?
406
00:21:12,884 --> 00:21:13,951
She was probably feeling seasick.
407
00:21:14,352 --> 00:21:15,853
There's no way that you
see this girl on dry land.
408
00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:18,188
Wrong again because I asked her,
409
00:21:18,222 --> 00:21:20,691
"Would you like to double-date
when Mike and Trudy come into town?"
410
00:21:20,725 --> 00:21:22,793
- And she said, "Da."
- Yeah.
411
00:21:23,194 --> 00:21:25,529
- Wait, what does that mean?
- It means yes in Russian.
412
00:21:25,730 --> 00:21:27,731
Whoa, yes.
413
00:21:31,536 --> 00:21:33,670
You found your model. This is great.
414
00:21:33,704 --> 00:21:34,938
Thanks, yeah.
415
00:21:34,972 --> 00:21:36,173
By the way, on the subject of dating,
416
00:21:36,907 --> 00:21:38,942
why do I keep getting calls
from a bloke asking you out?
417
00:21:39,210 --> 00:21:42,612
Oh, yeah. Pig dream. Oh, he was cute.
418
00:21:43,047 --> 00:21:46,583
I don't have time to waste on the
wrong guy who's not gonna be the one.
419
00:21:47,051 --> 00:21:49,953
I think we would've been
happier in the Middle Ages.
420
00:21:49,987 --> 00:21:53,355
'Cause in those days, you didn't go on
multiple dates looking for the one, you know?
421
00:21:53,390 --> 00:21:56,125
You just married the only person
in the village who was single
422
00:21:56,426 --> 00:21:58,728
and hadn't died of plague yet.
423
00:21:58,929 --> 00:22:00,930
- You know?
- Yeah.
424
00:22:04,734 --> 00:22:06,735
Impressive combat report, Lieutenant.
425
00:22:07,070 --> 00:22:08,537
No wonder Cutter depends on you.
426
00:22:08,938 --> 00:22:11,673
How much are they paying you
to betray your country, McAdams?
427
00:22:12,075 --> 00:22:14,410
Oh, my God. Well, I can't believe my luck.
428
00:22:14,777 --> 00:22:16,078
Is this that film you did?
What's it called, "White Venom"?
429
00:22:16,413 --> 00:22:19,848
No, it's "White Venom 2: Cutter's Revenge."
430
00:22:20,083 --> 00:22:20,849
Oh, yeah. Of course.
431
00:22:21,084 --> 00:22:23,118
Where is Frank Cutter?
432
00:22:23,452 --> 00:22:27,322
He's somewhere in between
fuck you and go fuck yourself.
433
00:22:27,757 --> 00:22:29,825
- I don't want to watch this.
- Oh, no, come on. It's good.
434
00:22:30,259 --> 00:22:32,460
- Turn it off. No, it's stupid. Turn it off.
- No, it's good.
435
00:22:32,929 --> 00:22:34,829
- Is this the scene where you get your boobs out?
- No, stop it.
436
00:22:34,863 --> 00:22:36,364
- It is, isn't it?
- Just turn it off. Turn it off.
437
00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:38,466
- Come on, stop it.
- I can't believe it.
438
00:22:38,767 --> 00:22:41,636
- I can't believe it.
- Come on.
439
00:22:41,970 --> 00:22:44,572
Stop. Please.
440
00:22:44,806 --> 00:22:46,508
- No.
- No.
441
00:22:51,613 --> 00:22:53,213
Well done, madam.
442
00:22:53,615 --> 00:22:55,650
I can see why Lieutenant
Cutter admires you so much.
443
00:22:55,784 --> 00:22:58,119
Shut up.
444
00:23:00,789 --> 00:23:03,090
I told Carol you were thinking
about making a career switch
445
00:23:03,458 --> 00:23:05,425
and it might be a good
idea for you two to sit down
446
00:23:05,827 --> 00:23:08,162
and talk about some potential
openings that we have here.
447
00:23:08,463 --> 00:23:09,729
Thank you so much for seeing me.
448
00:23:10,131 --> 00:23:12,499
Yeah, Wade's been singing your praises.
449
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,236
Well, first off, your previous employment.
450
00:23:16,471 --> 00:23:18,372
Yes, um, actress.
451
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,041
And before that?
452
00:23:23,811 --> 00:23:25,812
Uh, for a while,
453
00:23:26,147 --> 00:23:30,316
I worked in information distribution.
454
00:23:30,651 --> 00:23:33,720
And what is information distribution?
455
00:23:33,754 --> 00:23:35,855
It is...
456
00:23:35,890 --> 00:23:38,558
the delivery...
457
00:23:38,693 --> 00:23:41,294
of news...
458
00:23:41,495 --> 00:23:43,896
in paper form
459
00:23:44,164 --> 00:23:46,332
to consumers of all ages.
460
00:23:48,502 --> 00:23:51,170
- You delivered newspapers?
- Yes, I did.
461
00:23:51,505 --> 00:23:53,673
And I could ride my
bike faster than anyone.
462
00:23:58,344 --> 00:24:01,279
Um, what about any special skills?
463
00:24:01,514 --> 00:24:03,782
Uh, well, fencing.
464
00:24:04,017 --> 00:24:06,018
Um, tap dancing.
465
00:24:06,052 --> 00:24:07,686
Pretty good at that one.
466
00:24:07,854 --> 00:24:09,221
And juggling...
467
00:24:09,255 --> 00:24:11,023
I'm great at.
468
00:24:11,357 --> 00:24:14,125
Uh, our most likely position
is in the call center.
469
00:24:14,527 --> 00:24:16,394
So I'm not sure any of those
skills would really apply.
470
00:24:16,729 --> 00:24:20,232
Well, I'm sure I would be juggling calls.
471
00:24:20,533 --> 00:24:22,767
Right?
472
00:24:23,068 --> 00:24:25,803
Put down "sense of humor" on that.
473
00:24:26,071 --> 00:24:27,805
- Good energy.
- Yeah.
474
00:24:28,073 --> 00:24:29,774
Um, can you talk about your,
475
00:24:30,042 --> 00:24:33,377
um, educational background?
476
00:24:33,578 --> 00:24:35,046
The usual.
477
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,981
High school diploma, et cetera.
478
00:24:37,216 --> 00:24:38,883
Okay.
479
00:24:38,917 --> 00:24:40,752
High school diploma.
480
00:24:41,053 --> 00:24:43,921
Bachelor's degree in what?
481
00:24:48,059 --> 00:24:50,327
I can't believe that I am
renting to a college dropout.
482
00:24:50,729 --> 00:24:54,197
A lot of really successful
people dropped out of college.
483
00:24:54,232 --> 00:24:56,600
Yeah, did they? Name three.
484
00:24:56,934 --> 00:24:59,870
- Bill Gates.
- Right, yeah, Gates, yeah.
485
00:25:00,238 --> 00:25:02,873
- The Facebook guy.
- The Facebook guy, right.
486
00:25:03,241 --> 00:25:04,775
- What's his name?
- Jesse Eisenberg.
487
00:25:04,942 --> 00:25:06,743
Sure.
488
00:25:07,078 --> 00:25:09,913
And the Olsen twins, so that's four.
489
00:25:09,947 --> 00:25:11,748
- I stand
corrected. - Mm-hmm.
490
00:25:12,250 --> 00:25:14,184
All right, well, we'll deal with
your career crisis another time, okay?
491
00:25:14,585 --> 00:25:16,419
'Cause I've got my guests
arriving any second,
492
00:25:16,453 --> 00:25:19,122
so if you don't mind skedaddling
back to the guesthouse.
493
00:25:19,157 --> 00:25:20,757
Well, I hope it goes well.
494
00:25:20,791 --> 00:25:23,459
I might have a little trouble paying the
rent this month, but have a fun night.
495
00:25:23,761 --> 00:25:24,960
What's that? Pardon me?
496
00:25:24,995 --> 00:25:27,096
- What did you say?
- Oh, I said have a fun night.
497
00:25:27,431 --> 00:25:29,599
No, before that.
498
00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:33,736
I might be a little behind on
the rent while I'm finding myself.
499
00:25:35,939 --> 00:25:38,808
- This is not over.
- Okay.
500
00:25:39,142 --> 00:25:40,642
- Where should I hide? Where should I go?
- What?
501
00:25:40,677 --> 00:25:43,145
- Where should I hide?
- You don't need to hide. It's fine.
502
00:25:43,180 --> 00:25:45,114
Just do that little thing
that we talked about.
503
00:25:45,315 --> 00:25:46,748
Oh, I got you.
504
00:25:57,660 --> 00:25:59,093
- Welcome to Hollywood.
- Hi.
505
00:25:59,462 --> 00:26:01,730
- Hey.
- It's been such a long time.
506
00:26:02,164 --> 00:26:03,398
- I know. Great to see you. You look wonderful.
- Thank you.
507
00:26:03,433 --> 00:26:05,567
There he is. Bloody
hell, you're still tall.
508
00:26:05,835 --> 00:26:07,302
- I am, I am.
- Fuck me.
509
00:26:07,470 --> 00:26:10,071
Hey.
510
00:26:10,339 --> 00:26:13,607
- How are you?
- Me, I'm great.
511
00:26:13,976 --> 00:26:15,176
- Yeah?
- I'm great, thank you, yeah.
512
00:26:15,211 --> 00:26:16,744
What can I say? Living the dream, you know?
513
00:26:17,012 --> 00:26:18,446
Wake up every day, the sun's shining.
514
00:26:18,814 --> 00:26:19,981
See, I think I'd get bored of that.
515
00:26:20,316 --> 00:26:21,682
I'd miss the seasons too much.
516
00:26:22,017 --> 00:26:24,385
And I'd be worried about the skin cancer.
517
00:26:26,688 --> 00:26:29,490
Uh, glass of champagne?
518
00:26:29,825 --> 00:26:31,359
- Oh, please.
- There we are.
519
00:26:31,693 --> 00:26:33,160
Actually, I'd prefer a beer,
mate, if you've got one.
520
00:26:33,194 --> 00:26:36,597
Okay, um, Budweiser okay?
521
00:26:36,865 --> 00:26:38,432
Have you got any British beers?
522
00:26:38,667 --> 00:26:40,868
Newcastle Brown Ale?
523
00:26:42,036 --> 00:26:43,837
Nah, I'd love that Budweiser.
524
00:26:45,373 --> 00:26:46,740
Okay.
525
00:26:48,843 --> 00:26:51,311
- Here we go.
- Cheers.
526
00:26:51,679 --> 00:26:53,713
Hi, I'm Rory, Stuart's
assistant. Sorry to interrupt.
527
00:26:54,182 --> 00:26:55,815
- Nah, don't worry about it.
- Stuart, I just heard back from Tokyo.
528
00:26:55,850 --> 00:26:57,784
- They love the designs.
- Great.
529
00:26:57,818 --> 00:27:00,286
- I finished my coding, I just need you to sign off.
- No problem, yeah.
530
00:27:00,688 --> 00:27:02,856
Oh, this is great work
you've done under my tutelage.
531
00:27:03,190 --> 00:27:04,424
Um, can I make one suggestion?
532
00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:07,727
- I'd change this from Objective-C to Xcode.
- Of course.
533
00:27:07,762 --> 00:27:10,296
That makes it both more
efficient and user-friendly.
534
00:27:10,698 --> 00:27:12,031
- Guess so.
- Should I work late and update this?
535
00:27:12,533 --> 00:27:14,801
No, it's Saturday night. Get out
there, have some fun, all right?
536
00:27:14,835 --> 00:27:17,270
And take this extra $100 bill on me.
537
00:27:17,570 --> 00:27:19,705
Whoa, $100? You're the best boss.
538
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,640
Oh, don't worry. Get
out of here, you scamp.
539
00:27:21,875 --> 00:27:24,043
- Nice to meet you.
- Bye.
540
00:27:28,081 --> 00:27:30,216
Oh, good kid. Good kid.
541
00:27:30,550 --> 00:27:32,785
- Stuart, I love your house.
- Thank you.
542
00:27:35,087 --> 00:27:37,255
They're not very well-made, though,
are they? These California homes?
543
00:27:37,724 --> 00:27:40,459
They're just sort of bits of
woods with plasterboard stuck on.
544
00:27:40,927 --> 00:27:42,561
- We actually just moved into this Victorian terrace.
- Oh, yeah?
545
00:27:42,896 --> 00:27:45,564
It's brick-built, so it's really solid.
546
00:27:46,599 --> 00:27:48,233
And sturdy, isn't it?
547
00:27:50,736 --> 00:27:53,438
Do you ever get lonely
living here all by yourself?
548
00:27:53,739 --> 00:27:55,206
I'm sort of rather ashamed to say it,
549
00:27:55,241 --> 00:27:57,608
but I'm very rarely alone.
550
00:27:57,910 --> 00:27:59,877
'Cause since I last saw you,
551
00:28:00,246 --> 00:28:02,647
I'm gaining something of a
reputation as a ladies' man.
552
00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:05,483
Flying solo tonight, though, right, mate?
553
00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:08,419
No, no, no, mate. You'll meet
my current squeeze shortly.
554
00:28:08,454 --> 00:28:11,021
She tends to be a bit sloppy
with the on-time keeping, though,
555
00:28:11,056 --> 00:28:13,290
because she's a professional model.
556
00:28:13,592 --> 00:28:16,160
Sorry, mate, you're seeing a model?
557
00:28:16,462 --> 00:28:17,695
I am indeed. I am indeed, yeah.
558
00:28:18,096 --> 00:28:20,598
In fact, let me just... give me two ticks.
559
00:28:27,272 --> 00:28:29,340
- Hello?
- Hey, you, it's Stuart.
560
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:31,475
- Oh, hi, stranger.
- How's it going?
561
00:28:31,943 --> 00:28:34,011
Just wanted to check that you got
that text with my address on it.
562
00:28:34,045 --> 00:28:36,913
- You nearby?
- No, I'm in Palm Springs.
563
00:28:36,948 --> 00:28:38,748
Why are you in Palm Springs?
564
00:28:38,783 --> 00:28:41,250
You know, I decided to go to
Palm Springs with some friends.
565
00:28:41,619 --> 00:28:43,186
I thought I'd be back in time, but I'm not.
566
00:28:43,454 --> 00:28:46,255
But you confirmed the plan.
567
00:28:46,657 --> 00:28:48,458
It's a double date. My
friends are here from London.
568
00:28:48,793 --> 00:28:50,226
No, it's okay. We'll do it another time.
569
00:28:50,628 --> 00:28:55,098
There's not really a
chance for another time.
570
00:28:55,466 --> 00:28:57,766
I'm so confused because
you confirmed the plan.
571
00:28:58,135 --> 00:28:59,502
You sent me that text the other day saying,
572
00:28:59,836 --> 00:29:01,737
"Looking forward to Saturday"
with the smiley face.
573
00:29:01,771 --> 00:29:04,140
If you're gonna send a smiley face, it
normally implies that you're looking forward
574
00:29:04,475 --> 00:29:06,009
to something and you're gonna be there.
575
00:29:06,343 --> 00:29:08,478
You can't be careless with your emojis.
576
00:29:08,812 --> 00:29:10,613
Ooh, I have to go. There's a conga line.
577
00:29:10,981 --> 00:29:13,181
- Is there? Well, you don't want to miss that.
- Bye.
578
00:29:16,019 --> 00:29:18,686
What are the rules? I don't know
what the fucking rules are here.
579
00:29:34,369 --> 00:29:36,037
- Hiya.
- How's it going?
580
00:29:36,505 --> 00:29:40,041
- You taking a shit?
- No, I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.
581
00:29:40,375 --> 00:29:41,543
- Please.
- What happened to your model?
582
00:29:41,577 --> 00:29:43,811
She's gone to Palm Springs
to join a conga line.
583
00:29:44,179 --> 00:29:46,247
- Can I come in?
- I have a real date, Stuart.
584
00:29:46,515 --> 00:29:47,814
It's too late to cancel now.
585
00:29:48,216 --> 00:29:50,084
No, it's not. People cancel
last minute all the time.
586
00:29:50,385 --> 00:29:52,319
- Who's the date with?
- Reno.
587
00:29:52,354 --> 00:29:55,122
Reno? Really? You're going on a
date... what is he, a gunslinger?
588
00:29:55,524 --> 00:29:57,091
- No, he's...
- Where are you meeting, the O.K. Corral?
589
00:29:57,125 --> 00:29:58,192
- He's really interesting.
- He's not...
590
00:29:58,893 --> 00:30:00,894
all right, the one is not
someone called Reno, okay?
591
00:30:01,229 --> 00:30:02,796
So, please, come on. I need them to see me
592
00:30:03,198 --> 00:30:05,331
with a beautiful woman, you
know, so they think I won at life.
593
00:30:05,700 --> 00:30:08,334
- Oh, I'm a beautiful woman?
- Yes, obviously.
594
00:30:08,736 --> 00:30:11,905
Mm. That's the sweetest
thing you've ever said to me.
595
00:30:13,374 --> 00:30:14,875
I wanna live rent-free for three months.
596
00:30:15,242 --> 00:30:17,343
- Oh, fuck off.
- Oh, well, have fun on your double date.
597
00:30:17,378 --> 00:30:20,180
- Three weeks.
- Three months.
598
00:30:20,548 --> 00:30:22,848
- Three months is insane.
- Take it or leave it.
599
00:30:23,217 --> 00:30:26,553
All right, I'll take it, but honestly,
600
00:30:27,088 --> 00:30:29,922
- you've got to be so in love with me that it's disgusting.
- Oh, it's gonna be real gross.
601
00:30:30,391 --> 00:30:33,526
Good. All right. Well, make sure you
wear something sexy, but not slutty.
602
00:30:33,894 --> 00:30:35,628
- Maybe I should choose.
- Oh, fuck off. Stuart.
603
00:30:36,063 --> 00:30:38,631
All right, just make sure you pick me
up tonight because I want them to...
604
00:30:39,066 --> 00:30:40,800
Yes, you want to trick them
into thinking you've won at life.
605
00:30:41,101 --> 00:30:42,568
- I got it.
- Great, thank you.
606
00:30:42,603 --> 00:30:45,071
- Off you waddle.
- All right.
607
00:30:46,473 --> 00:30:48,407
So just act natural, okay?
608
00:30:51,745 --> 00:30:53,245
Yes, here we are.
609
00:30:53,580 --> 00:30:55,481
- You still in I.T.?
- Yeah.
610
00:30:55,915 --> 00:30:58,217
Yeah, but they moved our company.
We're in Wolverhampton now.
611
00:30:58,251 --> 00:30:59,751
Oh, okay. How's Wolverhampton?
612
00:31:00,086 --> 00:31:01,953
- It's a shit hole.
- Is it?
613
00:31:02,255 --> 00:31:03,822
It's actually not a shit hole, mate.
614
00:31:04,257 --> 00:31:06,057
Believe or not, Wolverhampton
was the first British city
615
00:31:06,426 --> 00:31:08,393
to introduce automated traffic lights.
616
00:31:08,761 --> 00:31:10,561
It just sort of blew up from there, really.
617
00:31:12,632 --> 00:31:14,465
I can't believe you're dating a model.
618
00:31:14,767 --> 00:31:16,334
Gosh, I'm gonna look so ordinary.
619
00:31:18,137 --> 00:31:20,639
Hi, everybody.
620
00:31:22,108 --> 00:31:24,676
I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting.
621
00:31:25,111 --> 00:31:27,512
Oh, don't worry. I will forgive
you if I reward you with a kiss.
622
00:31:27,946 --> 00:31:30,248
- Ah, lipstick. Don't want to ruin that.
- No.
623
00:31:30,449 --> 00:31:33,251
Mike, Trudy, charmed.
624
00:31:33,285 --> 00:31:34,818
I've heard so much about you.
625
00:31:34,853 --> 00:31:36,787
Oh, and you.
626
00:31:37,122 --> 00:31:38,922
A glass of champers, honeybee?
627
00:31:38,957 --> 00:31:42,527
Oh, yes, please, sugar bear.
628
00:31:42,794 --> 00:31:44,528
So how did you guys meet?
629
00:31:44,796 --> 00:31:46,496
How did we meet?
630
00:31:46,798 --> 00:31:49,133
- Therein lies a tale.
- Such a good story.
631
00:31:49,500 --> 00:31:51,702
- Yeah, do you want to tell it?
- You tell it so well.
632
00:31:51,736 --> 00:31:54,437
- Do I? Do I or are you better at it?
- Yes.
633
00:31:54,806 --> 00:31:56,674
No, you're so much better at it than I...
634
00:31:56,975 --> 00:31:58,776
- Lipstick.
- Lipstick, yeah.
635
00:31:59,144 --> 00:32:03,580
- Um, well, we were at Sandra...
- Bullock's.
636
00:32:03,981 --> 00:32:07,284
- Sandy Bullock's Halloween party.
- Party.
637
00:32:07,652 --> 00:32:09,886
- Yeah. It was fun.
- And, uh, yeah, lovely affair.
638
00:32:10,154 --> 00:32:12,755
- I was a slice of pizza.
- Yeah.
639
00:32:13,023 --> 00:32:15,492
- And remember?
- I was, uh, I was Thor.
640
00:32:15,826 --> 00:32:16,959
- You were like a hot dog.
- I was Thor.
641
00:32:17,327 --> 00:32:19,028
- Yup.
- And she managed to get my number.
642
00:32:19,362 --> 00:32:21,164
And basically stalked
me for... what was it?
643
00:32:21,665 --> 00:32:24,500
- Six months, sweet cheeks?
- Oh, I don't think it was that long.
644
00:32:24,835 --> 00:32:26,268
- Wasn't it?
- Melon ball.
645
00:32:26,303 --> 00:32:29,572
I was dating around also, you know?
646
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:31,307
- Yeah, yeah.
- A lot of options.
647
00:32:31,675 --> 00:32:33,309
- She wasn't a slut.
- No, definitely not a slut.
648
00:32:33,677 --> 00:32:35,211
- No, no, no, no.
- I just... a lot of callers.
649
00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:39,348
- Yeah, and I won through in the end.
- Yup.
650
00:32:39,549 --> 00:32:41,417
- Oh, lipstick.
- Yeah.
651
00:32:41,451 --> 00:32:43,652
That is a lovely story.
Actually, speaking of parties,
652
00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:45,421
didn't you say we were
gonna be hitting a party
653
00:32:45,455 --> 00:32:48,023
or were you not able to get that sorted?
654
00:32:48,358 --> 00:32:49,925
Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, no, definitely.
655
00:32:50,359 --> 00:32:52,828
We're going to one of the most
exclusive VIP parties in town.
656
00:32:52,862 --> 00:32:56,397
Yes, well, perhaps a quick
toast before we get going.
657
00:32:56,432 --> 00:33:00,836
To a memorable night in the City of Angels.
658
00:33:01,037 --> 00:33:02,704
Cheers.
659
00:33:02,739 --> 00:33:04,740
Let's hope we don't get carjacked.
660
00:33:07,209 --> 00:33:08,876
No.
661
00:33:32,567 --> 00:33:34,268
This place sturdy enough for you, Mike?
662
00:33:39,106 --> 00:33:40,374
- What are you doing?
- Holding your hand.
663
00:33:40,408 --> 00:33:43,009
- Why?
- That's what lovers do.
664
00:33:43,411 --> 00:33:46,613
Guys, that's Alan. He's
the host of the party.
665
00:33:47,081 --> 00:33:49,015
Bloody great bloke. Although, you're
not supposed to look him in the eye.
666
00:33:49,450 --> 00:33:51,718
He's just got this weird thing,
so just don't look him in his eye.
667
00:33:51,753 --> 00:33:55,488
Alan, I just wanted to introduce
you to some dear friends of mine.
668
00:33:55,923 --> 00:33:58,124
Mike and Trudy. This is my
beautiful girlfriend Jessica.
669
00:33:58,159 --> 00:34:00,626
- Hello.
- Hi.
670
00:34:01,095 --> 00:34:03,629
- Fantastic view.
- Yeah, thank you so much for a wonderful party.
671
00:34:03,964 --> 00:34:04,864
- Thank you so much.
- Thanks for having us.
672
00:34:05,266 --> 00:34:07,200
- Enjoy the evening.
- Thank you, we will.
673
00:34:07,467 --> 00:34:09,102
- All right.
- Have fun.
674
00:34:09,436 --> 00:34:12,037
- Thank you, sir.
- See who I was with?
675
00:34:12,306 --> 00:34:14,139
- Hot, right?
- Oh, yeah.
676
00:34:14,608 --> 00:34:15,874
Young enough to be your
granddaughters, though, weren't they?
677
00:34:16,276 --> 00:34:17,810
Yeah, well, they're friends
of my granddaughter's.
678
00:34:17,844 --> 00:34:21,814
But all of my granddaughter's
friends are super hot.
679
00:34:27,788 --> 00:34:30,588
- Here we are. Champagne.
- Thank you.
680
00:34:30,957 --> 00:34:32,390
- All free of charge.
- Ooh, yeah.
681
00:34:32,425 --> 00:34:33,892
Hey, I was just saying to Jessica
682
00:34:34,294 --> 00:34:35,794
that this party must have
cost more than our wedding.
683
00:34:36,129 --> 00:34:37,930
Yeah, but only because we got a discount.
684
00:34:38,331 --> 00:34:41,300
My brother's a catering manager
at a Holiday Inn Express.
685
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:44,836
Oh, my God.
686
00:34:45,137 --> 00:34:46,705
Is that Nicole Kidman?
687
00:34:48,974 --> 00:34:51,776
- It's Nicole Kidman. She's so talented.
- Yes.
688
00:34:52,311 --> 00:34:54,813
Yes, she is. Yes, she is. And, you
know, just charming and down-to-earth.
689
00:34:54,847 --> 00:34:56,348
Wait, you know Nicole Kidman?
690
00:34:56,682 --> 00:34:59,451
Oh, you know, we're in the same circles.
691
00:34:59,485 --> 00:35:01,752
She's more my friend than yours.
692
00:35:02,154 --> 00:35:03,387
- Well, we're always arguing about that.
- Yeah.
693
00:35:03,421 --> 00:35:05,289
I love her films.
694
00:35:05,657 --> 00:35:07,658
Is there any way that
you could introduce us?
695
00:35:07,993 --> 00:35:09,460
I would literally die if I met her.
696
00:35:09,862 --> 00:35:13,597
- No, I don't want to bother her.
- Stuart, could you?
697
00:35:13,999 --> 00:35:16,467
I'm worried that she'll feel
like an animal in a zoo, you know?
698
00:35:16,501 --> 00:35:18,301
- Yeah.
- Showing her off.
699
00:35:18,336 --> 00:35:20,103
I'm sorry, mate, what's the point
of being friends with someone
700
00:35:20,505 --> 00:35:22,906
if you can't introduce
them to other people?
701
00:35:24,542 --> 00:35:26,844
Fair point. Yeah.
702
00:35:26,878 --> 00:35:30,781
I'll go and say hi.
703
00:35:31,015 --> 00:35:33,550
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
704
00:35:43,227 --> 00:35:45,495
Hey. Hey, Nicole.
705
00:35:45,863 --> 00:35:48,198
Hi. Don't be alarmed, you're not in danger.
706
00:35:52,369 --> 00:35:54,136
This is weird. When I was a kid,
707
00:35:54,405 --> 00:35:55,805
I really wasn't very good with girls
708
00:35:55,839 --> 00:35:58,441
and I could certainly never get with
girls, you know, as beautiful as you.
709
00:35:58,876 --> 00:36:01,411
And then when I was older, I managed
to get this great girlfriend Trudy
710
00:36:01,445 --> 00:36:04,781
and she got stolen away
by this complete ball bag,
711
00:36:05,215 --> 00:36:08,284
um, Mike, and both of them are
here now tonight over there.
712
00:36:08,885 --> 00:36:10,998
I'm trying to impress them.
713
00:36:10,999 --> 00:36:12,153
Just wondering if there's any
chance you could do me a favor?
714
00:36:12,222 --> 00:36:13,488
Mm, what's the favor?
715
00:36:13,890 --> 00:36:15,657
What about if you just
pretend that you knew me
716
00:36:15,691 --> 00:36:18,693
and, you know, pretend we're having a
conversation and maybe you're laughing.
717
00:36:18,728 --> 00:36:20,862
- All right, sure.
- Okay.
718
00:36:21,231 --> 00:36:23,865
I don't know what that was.
719
00:36:23,900 --> 00:36:25,834
I know you're an actress, but
that seemed a bit, kind of, eh.
720
00:36:25,868 --> 00:36:28,937
Maybe a bit more lively? And we're
laughing, Nicole, we're laughing.
721
00:36:31,707 --> 00:36:33,274
Don't overdo it. Don't overdo it.
722
00:36:33,743 --> 00:36:35,911
And is there any chance that I
could just bring them over here
723
00:36:36,245 --> 00:36:38,480
- and just say hi?
- Sure.
724
00:36:38,748 --> 00:36:40,281
- Is that okay?
- Yeah.
725
00:36:40,749 --> 00:36:43,517
- Are you doing an Australian accent?
- No, this is how I speak.
726
00:36:43,919 --> 00:36:45,553
That's how you speak. Okay, I've
never seen any of your films.
727
00:36:45,587 --> 00:36:48,589
- Oh.
- Guys, over you come.
728
00:36:50,792 --> 00:36:53,127
- Thank you so much. Thank you.
- Yeah.
729
00:36:53,429 --> 00:36:55,496
This is Mike. This is Trudy.
730
00:36:55,530 --> 00:36:57,465
- And, of course, you know Jessica.
- Hey, Nicole.
731
00:36:57,499 --> 00:36:59,867
And I have to say Trudy
is maybe your biggest fan.
732
00:37:00,268 --> 00:37:02,402
- Oh, really?
- It's a pleasure to meet you.
733
00:37:02,771 --> 00:37:04,939
- Oh, that's so nice.
- I'm an even bigger fan.
734
00:37:05,273 --> 00:37:07,174
- Nice to meet you, too.
- Wow.
735
00:37:07,442 --> 00:37:08,876
Handshake bonus.
736
00:37:09,277 --> 00:37:10,878
We are gonna get out of your hair now,
737
00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:13,780
but listen, I think you should give
me a call. I think you owe me lunch.
738
00:37:14,115 --> 00:37:17,150
- And I want that dress back, you.
- Okay.
739
00:37:17,185 --> 00:37:20,153
- All right, see you later. Thank you.
- Bye-bye.
740
00:37:21,589 --> 00:37:24,157
Oh, what about that? What about that?
741
00:37:24,492 --> 00:37:27,627
I'm shaking. I can't
believe that just happened.
742
00:37:27,828 --> 00:37:29,596
- Wow.
- Yeah, yeah.
743
00:37:29,630 --> 00:37:31,898
Shit. Mike, we should've got a picture.
744
00:37:32,332 --> 00:37:33,867
Stuart, can you ask her if
we can get a picture with her?
745
00:37:34,134 --> 00:37:36,235
You don't need a picture, do you?
746
00:37:36,637 --> 00:37:38,170
- I think the memories are better.
- Yeah.
747
00:37:38,639 --> 00:37:41,207
Oh, no. It would blow everyone's
mind back home if I had a picture.
748
00:37:41,341 --> 00:37:43,275
Will it?
749
00:37:43,477 --> 00:37:45,311
Nicole.
750
00:37:45,813 --> 00:37:48,080
- Thank you so much for doing it. Sorry again.
- You're welcome.
751
00:37:48,348 --> 00:37:49,715
I just... the only thing is...
752
00:37:50,150 --> 00:37:53,219
Nicole, the only thing is
they're asking for a photograph.
753
00:37:53,487 --> 00:37:55,054
- Oh.
- Yeah.
754
00:37:55,522 --> 00:37:59,625
If I do a photo, then other people
might ask and I just want to be low-key.
755
00:37:59,993 --> 00:38:01,293
I understand. I understand completely.
756
00:38:01,528 --> 00:38:02,294
- Yeah.
- Great.
757
00:38:02,529 --> 00:38:03,529
What if I gave you $30?
758
00:38:03,563 --> 00:38:05,564
I don't think so.
759
00:38:05,832 --> 00:38:08,099
40? $40? And that's tax-free.
760
00:38:08,501 --> 00:38:09,735
I mean, the tax man doesn't
need to know about that.
761
00:38:10,036 --> 00:38:11,036
- That's cash in hand.
- I just...
762
00:38:11,070 --> 00:38:13,739
I'm at a party and I... I
mean, if I do a photograph,
763
00:38:14,173 --> 00:38:15,908
- then maybe...
- You can take one picture and I can just say,
764
00:38:15,942 --> 00:38:18,710
"There's no more pictures." Then they know.
765
00:38:19,012 --> 00:38:21,079
Go get them. Let's do the photo.
766
00:38:21,347 --> 00:38:22,980
- Hey.
- Good.
767
00:38:23,349 --> 00:38:24,782
What a souvenir this
will be to take back home.
768
00:38:25,184 --> 00:38:26,651
- Oh, thank you.
- There we go. All right.
769
00:38:27,019 --> 00:38:29,020
- All right. Good. Thank you.
- Thank you.
770
00:38:29,522 --> 00:38:32,424
- I can't believe you're friends with Stuart.
- I know, it does seem crazy.
771
00:38:32,858 --> 00:38:34,926
- But true.
- How do you guys know each other?
772
00:38:37,029 --> 00:38:39,396
They used to date.
773
00:38:39,431 --> 00:38:41,032
Wow. Really?
774
00:38:41,066 --> 00:38:43,300
- Didn't we?
- Yeah.
775
00:38:43,535 --> 00:38:45,836
- Yup.
- Wow.
776
00:38:46,204 --> 00:38:49,139
We'll never understand
why you chose me over her.
777
00:38:49,407 --> 00:38:51,175
- I mean, you are beautiful.
- Yes.
778
00:38:51,543 --> 00:38:53,710
Well, it all worked out
for everyone in the end.
779
00:38:54,212 --> 00:38:57,081
In the end. In the end. But it was pretty
rough back there for you, wasn't it?
780
00:38:57,382 --> 00:38:59,516
She got pretty emotional.
781
00:38:59,884 --> 00:39:02,553
It was difficult and I
apologize still for that.
782
00:39:02,887 --> 00:39:04,588
- I got over it, though.
- You did. She did.
783
00:39:04,622 --> 00:39:07,023
Eventually, but there was
a lot of tears and, uh...
784
00:39:07,058 --> 00:39:10,894
No, I got over it. And now I look back
and I'm like, "What was I thinking?"
785
00:39:11,228 --> 00:39:12,762
Yeah, we weren't... she's right.
786
00:39:13,097 --> 00:39:15,197
- I mean...
- We weren't really right together.
787
00:39:15,565 --> 00:39:16,264
We weren't really right
together. Except in the bedroom.
788
00:39:16,566 --> 00:39:18,200
Then things were pretty crazy.
789
00:39:18,602 --> 00:39:21,103
- Honestly, the redheaded woman will go berserk.
- No, no, no.
790
00:39:21,404 --> 00:39:23,338
- It never got that far.
- Got the flamed hair.
791
00:39:23,773 --> 00:39:25,307
- No, no.
- It didn't go that far. It never got to the bedroom.
792
00:39:25,742 --> 00:39:27,876
No, it was just clothes off in
the kitchen and we...
793
00:39:28,244 --> 00:39:29,845
- I'm gonna say good-bye now.
- Yeah.
794
00:39:29,879 --> 00:39:31,713
- Thank you very much, yes.
- Bye.
795
00:39:31,747 --> 00:39:34,349
Buh-bye. Buh-bye. Buh-bye.
796
00:39:34,383 --> 00:39:36,318
Oh, Christ.
797
00:39:36,785 --> 00:39:38,820
Probably gonna get a call from
her later begging me to come over.
798
00:39:45,428 --> 00:39:47,329
You and Stuart seem like the perfect match.
799
00:39:47,597 --> 00:39:50,297
Oh, cool. Thanks.
800
00:39:50,766 --> 00:39:53,034
I know you're not supposed to
think about what might have been,
801
00:39:53,068 --> 00:39:56,303
but, you know, I see him with that
house and all these fancy friends
802
00:39:56,605 --> 00:39:59,641
and, oh, it just makes you think.
803
00:39:59,675 --> 00:40:02,343
- Sorry, I hope I'm not being too...
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
804
00:40:02,778 --> 00:40:05,679
It's fine. Honestly, I'm sure
he'd love to hear you say that.
805
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,287
Bloody hell, mate.
806
00:40:13,788 --> 00:40:15,856
The women in your world, I don't
know how you get anything done.
807
00:40:16,124 --> 00:40:17,491
Yeah, it is tricky.
808
00:40:17,526 --> 00:40:19,460
And this is not even one
of Alan's best parties.
809
00:40:19,494 --> 00:40:22,796
- Honestly, I'd only give this C-plus.
- A "C-plus"?
810
00:40:23,131 --> 00:40:24,497
Yeah, and that's just 'cause I like Alan.
811
00:40:24,532 --> 00:40:26,299
Well, I've got to come
back out here sometime.
812
00:40:26,634 --> 00:40:27,934
Do you wanna swap lives for a week?
813
00:40:27,969 --> 00:40:31,538
I can shag supermodels and you
could do I.T. sales in Wolverhampton.
814
00:40:34,142 --> 00:40:36,376
- Isn't it so pretty?
- It's gorgeous.
815
00:40:36,644 --> 00:40:39,312
- What's that?
- Here you go, darling.
816
00:40:41,182 --> 00:40:42,782
Thanks.
817
00:40:43,150 --> 00:40:45,518
- You look cold.
- Oh, yeah, a little.
818
00:40:47,154 --> 00:40:49,755
- There you are.
- Aww, thank you.
819
00:40:50,023 --> 00:40:51,724
Hey, cheers for this, guys.
820
00:40:51,758 --> 00:40:53,560
- Hey, you're welcome. Of course, yeah.
- Thank you.
821
00:40:53,827 --> 00:40:56,095
You've made it.
822
00:41:11,678 --> 00:41:16,948
♪ There's a girl
that's been on my mind ♪
823
00:41:17,183 --> 00:41:19,117
♪ All the time ♪
824
00:41:19,352 --> 00:41:21,720
♪ Su-Su-Sussudio ♪
825
00:41:23,723 --> 00:41:25,424
♪ Oh, oh... ♪
826
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,328
Wait, wait, wait. They were fooled, right?
827
00:41:30,730 --> 00:41:33,531
- We're not celebrating unduly?
- We definitely fooled them.
828
00:41:34,033 --> 00:41:36,667
Are you kidding? They absolutely
thought we were madly in love.
829
00:41:37,036 --> 00:41:39,037
- I could tell.
- Well, I'm not a trained actor,
830
00:41:39,404 --> 00:41:40,972
but it's not hard faking
being in love with you
831
00:41:41,006 --> 00:41:42,340
when you're looking this beautiful.
832
00:41:43,075 --> 00:41:46,510
See, if you said stuff like that
on real dates, you would be fine.
833
00:41:46,911 --> 00:41:50,214
I'm not this relaxed on
real dates, though, you know?
834
00:41:50,582 --> 00:41:53,150
It's just so much easier
having a fake girlfriend.
835
00:41:53,418 --> 00:41:54,685
Why am I only discovering this now?
836
00:41:55,053 --> 00:41:56,687
I could have had a fake
girlfriend all through school.
837
00:41:56,722 --> 00:42:00,190
I could have lost my virginity to my
fake girlfriend when I was at college.
838
00:42:00,591 --> 00:42:02,159
Hey, you could've finally
had that threesome you want
839
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,261
with your fake girlfriend and her roommate.
840
00:42:04,562 --> 00:42:07,330
Oh, that would've been amazing.
841
00:42:07,598 --> 00:42:09,666
I'm just about to be brilliant.
842
00:42:09,901 --> 00:42:11,869
I'm...
843
00:42:12,237 --> 00:42:13,637
I've figured out what you
should do with your life.
844
00:42:13,671 --> 00:42:15,705
- What?
- You should go back to college.
845
00:42:15,740 --> 00:42:17,474
What? No, I can't go back to college.
846
00:42:17,508 --> 00:42:19,643
- I'm too old.
- No, you're never too old,
847
00:42:19,910 --> 00:42:22,712
you know, there's mature students.
You go back, and I'll tell you,
848
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:24,414
you get a decent education,
the world's your oyster.
849
00:42:24,749 --> 00:42:28,117
Can I just, like, go back?
No, it's too expensive.
850
00:42:28,619 --> 00:42:30,687
Well, according to our little deal, I'm
already paying for your room and board,
851
00:42:30,721 --> 00:42:32,422
so you don't gotta worry about that.
852
00:42:35,926 --> 00:42:38,394
I'm gonna do it.
853
00:42:38,628 --> 00:42:41,697
I'm going to college! Whoo!
854
00:42:41,965 --> 00:42:44,033
And I'm paying for her accommodation.
855
00:42:49,306 --> 00:42:53,141
♪ I'll say the word, oh ♪
856
00:42:53,443 --> 00:42:55,344
♪ Su-Su-Sussudio ♪
857
00:42:57,447 --> 00:43:00,816
- ♪ I'll say the word, oh ♪
- Thank you.
858
00:43:01,117 --> 00:43:04,286
♪ Su-Su-Sussudio ♪
859
00:43:05,288 --> 00:43:07,122
♪ I'll say the word, oh... ♪
860
00:43:07,456 --> 00:43:09,724
- Oh, well, this is me.
- Oh, nice place.
861
00:43:09,959 --> 00:43:11,392
Thank you. I had fun.
862
00:43:11,427 --> 00:43:13,261
We should do it again sometime.
863
00:43:13,296 --> 00:43:15,931
Absolutely, but, uh, are you
gonna invite me in for a nightcap?
864
00:43:16,299 --> 00:43:18,934
Oh, it's probably not a good idea.
865
00:43:18,968 --> 00:43:21,036
My landlord is freakishly tall,
866
00:43:21,070 --> 00:43:23,504
super creepy, and he's
kind of a dick, so...
867
00:43:23,972 --> 00:43:27,208
Is he or did you eat all of
his chocolate-covered pretzels
868
00:43:27,242 --> 00:43:29,310
and then not make any
effort to replace them?
869
00:43:29,645 --> 00:43:31,646
No, he's just kind of a dick. Night.
870
00:43:46,161 --> 00:43:47,995
How did you get in here?
871
00:43:51,666 --> 00:43:54,801
- Well, good night.
- Good night. Yeah.
872
00:43:55,170 --> 00:43:57,937
And thank you again for doing all that.
873
00:43:57,972 --> 00:43:59,639
- Yeah, of course.
- I appreciate it.
874
00:43:59,841 --> 00:44:01,508
It was fun.
875
00:44:03,544 --> 00:44:05,679
- Thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
876
00:44:15,522 --> 00:44:17,656
Well, good night.
877
00:44:17,858 --> 00:44:19,392
Good night.
878
00:44:47,820 --> 00:44:49,754
Are you gonna leave
the glasses on for this?
879
00:44:50,223 --> 00:44:52,391
Yeah, I won't be able to
see anything otherwise.
880
00:44:52,725 --> 00:44:55,193
actually, no, I think the
glasses should come off.
881
00:44:55,594 --> 00:44:57,495
- Let's just... we'll just put these here.
- All right.
882
00:44:57,763 --> 00:44:59,364
- Okay.
- Well, don't put them there
883
00:44:59,732 --> 00:45:01,166
'cause we might roll
while... and crush them.
884
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,768
- Oh, okay, well...
- Thank you.
885
00:45:04,069 --> 00:45:06,538
- Okay, happy?
- Good, I'm happy.
886
00:45:06,572 --> 00:45:08,406
- Are you happy?
- Yup.
887
00:45:11,577 --> 00:45:13,611
- Should I get a condom?
- Yeah.
888
00:45:13,646 --> 00:45:15,413
Yeah? All right.
889
00:45:17,783 --> 00:45:18,983
Jack be nimble...
890
00:45:19,251 --> 00:45:20,918
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
891
00:45:20,953 --> 00:45:23,154
I hit my toe on that.
892
00:45:23,188 --> 00:45:26,490
- Are those lady weights?
- No, they're just regular.
893
00:45:26,524 --> 00:45:27,658
Yup.
894
00:45:31,129 --> 00:45:33,030
Bibbity-boppity...
895
00:45:33,065 --> 00:45:35,766
Forgot they were a pair.
896
00:45:35,934 --> 00:45:37,468
Yup.
897
00:45:39,103 --> 00:45:41,738
All right. Here we go, yeah.
898
00:45:42,106 --> 00:45:43,340
- This is it.
- Hey there. All right.
899
00:45:43,608 --> 00:45:45,008
- This is it.
- Okay.
900
00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:46,944
All right. Here we go.
901
00:45:50,815 --> 00:45:53,083
Can't...
902
00:45:53,451 --> 00:45:55,452
Talk amongst yourself.
903
00:45:57,455 --> 00:45:58,788
- All right, there... oh, there we are.
- There it is.
904
00:45:58,990 --> 00:46:00,590
There it is.
905
00:46:00,791 --> 00:46:01,958
Which...
906
00:46:03,494 --> 00:46:05,195
Which side is it?
907
00:46:05,496 --> 00:46:07,464
Ooh, put your glasses back on.
908
00:46:07,798 --> 00:46:09,131
You look like a giant prawn.
909
00:46:09,466 --> 00:46:12,635
A giant prawn? Is that your pillow talk?
910
00:46:12,970 --> 00:46:15,304
All right. Let's get this on.
911
00:46:15,639 --> 00:46:18,407
Whoa, whoa. Where... what is this condom?
912
00:46:18,675 --> 00:46:20,009
- What language is this?
- It's Turkish.
913
00:46:20,477 --> 00:46:22,645
- Well, where the hell did you buy a Turkish condom?
- Online.
914
00:46:22,980 --> 00:46:24,646
- Why?
- Yeah, get them online.
915
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,915
- Oh, my God. Were they cheap?
- No, they weren't cheap.
916
00:46:27,350 --> 00:46:29,784
- No, they weren't. 15 bucks for 80.
- Oh, my God, Stuart.
917
00:46:30,186 --> 00:46:32,654
- What?
- We're not using a cheap Turkish condom.
918
00:46:32,855 --> 00:46:34,890
Well, that sounds racist.
919
00:46:35,325 --> 00:46:37,493
You really think the way to have sex
with me is by calling me a racist?
920
00:46:37,860 --> 00:46:39,728
Sorry, but my conscience
doesn't take time off
921
00:46:40,030 --> 00:46:41,663
just 'cause I've got an erection.
922
00:46:41,998 --> 00:46:43,565
I would like an American condom, please.
923
00:46:43,833 --> 00:46:45,834
Oh, for fuck's sake.
924
00:46:52,207 --> 00:46:54,442
All right, what about this? Durex?
925
00:46:54,844 --> 00:46:56,244
You had an American condom this whole time?
926
00:46:56,278 --> 00:46:58,079
It's made in China. Do
we trust the Chinese?
927
00:46:58,347 --> 00:47:00,314
We happy with those fellas?
928
00:47:00,682 --> 00:47:02,683
- Oh, come on. Let's just...
- Okay.
929
00:47:05,354 --> 00:47:06,787
- Oh, um, no.
- What?
930
00:47:07,189 --> 00:47:10,258
- That's gonna stay on.
- No, the bra's gotta come off.
931
00:47:10,692 --> 00:47:11,825
- What are you talking about?
- No, I just... I don't want you to, uh...
932
00:47:12,194 --> 00:47:13,761
I don't want you to see
my boobs. That's weird.
933
00:47:14,062 --> 00:47:16,163
- What?
- You are my landlord.
934
00:47:16,364 --> 00:47:17,898
It's just too intimate.
935
00:47:18,066 --> 00:47:19,867
We're having sex.
936
00:47:20,201 --> 00:47:22,169
Have you not noticed? It's
gonna get pretty intimate.
937
00:47:22,537 --> 00:47:24,404
No, it's... no, that's a deal breaker.
938
00:47:24,706 --> 00:47:27,708
That's crazy. I need
full access to the body.
939
00:47:28,043 --> 00:47:29,276
I need to be able to run amuck on it.
940
00:47:29,310 --> 00:47:31,778
Well, you're definitely
not "running amuck."
941
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,314
This is crazy. You're
a very demanding lover.
942
00:47:34,748 --> 00:47:37,050
You can touch one and then I
will see how I feel about it.
943
00:47:40,588 --> 00:47:42,021
- No.
- Well, then I don't know what this is, then.
944
00:47:42,256 --> 00:47:43,523
- I don't... I'm...
- Stuart.
945
00:47:43,891 --> 00:47:45,559
- I can't focus.
- Maybe this is a bad idea.
946
00:47:45,926 --> 00:47:46,826
- No, this is a good idea.
- I'm losing my mojo.
947
00:47:47,094 --> 00:47:48,160
- This is a good idea.
- No, I just...
948
00:47:48,395 --> 00:47:50,597
Look at that. Isn't that nice?
949
00:47:50,898 --> 00:47:52,865
Yeah, just, like, talk dirty or something.
950
00:47:53,233 --> 00:47:56,168
- What do you want me to say?
- I don't know.
951
00:47:56,604 --> 00:47:59,872
- Just be creative.
- There's so many rules prancing around this place.
952
00:48:00,296 --> 00:48:02,230
Yeah, well, you're lucky to be here, pal.
953
00:48:02,498 --> 00:48:04,566
So just give me some filth.
954
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,668
Okay, here it comes.
955
00:48:06,969 --> 00:48:08,370
- This is it.
- Okay.
956
00:48:08,804 --> 00:48:10,705
This is it. The dirty... the
dirty... is that what you wanted?
957
00:48:11,140 --> 00:48:13,007
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- Yeah? You got it. You got it.
958
00:48:20,649 --> 00:48:22,349
I'm gonna...
959
00:48:22,651 --> 00:48:25,086
I'm gonna do things to you
960
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:27,989
that your mother wouldn't approve of.
961
00:48:28,023 --> 00:48:30,792
If she came in here now,
962
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,360
she'd be like, "Jessica,
what are you doing?
963
00:48:33,395 --> 00:48:36,963
Get off that young man.
We're a God-fearing family.
964
00:48:37,332 --> 00:48:38,965
- We don't approve"...
- Okay, can we not do Mom?
965
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,967
- Let's take away... yeah.
- You don't want the mother? Okay.
966
00:48:41,369 --> 00:48:44,771
- I wanna... I wanna fuck... can I say fuck?
- Sure.
967
00:48:45,039 --> 00:48:47,874
Yeah? I wanna fuck you
968
00:48:47,909 --> 00:48:50,411
in the traditional manner.
969
00:48:50,712 --> 00:48:53,013
But also... but take the penis...
970
00:48:53,047 --> 00:48:54,581
mine...
971
00:48:55,016 --> 00:48:58,451
and just whack it against
the soles of your feet.
972
00:48:58,485 --> 00:49:00,520
And then poke it in between the toes.
973
00:49:00,855 --> 00:49:01,855
- No, no.
- Peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo.
974
00:49:02,223 --> 00:49:03,757
- Maybe not feet. Let's just...
- Okay, not feet.
975
00:49:04,192 --> 00:49:05,458
- Come off of that.
- Bring it up... I'm bringing up the leg.
976
00:49:05,860 --> 00:49:08,361
I'm gonna bring it higher onto the thigh.
977
00:49:08,529 --> 00:49:10,963
Knock, knock.
978
00:49:10,997 --> 00:49:12,565
Who's there?
979
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,367
Mr. Penis...
980
00:49:16,869 --> 00:49:18,604
with a delivery for you...
981
00:49:18,871 --> 00:49:22,207
of some delicious hot cock.
982
00:49:24,577 --> 00:49:26,678
- You can't laugh.
- I'm sorry.
983
00:49:27,079 --> 00:49:28,880
- I'm sorry.
- I don't know what the rules are here.
984
00:49:29,081 --> 00:49:30,415
Oh, Stuart.
985
00:49:30,750 --> 00:49:33,284
Just kiss me and let's get this over with.
986
00:49:33,318 --> 00:49:35,386
- "Get this over with"? Really?
- Yes. Mm-hmm.
987
00:49:49,901 --> 00:49:52,303
Jessica. I mean, of course.
988
00:49:52,604 --> 00:49:55,105
Right under your nose all along.
989
00:49:55,140 --> 00:49:56,574
So romantic.
990
00:49:56,608 --> 00:49:58,142
It's like "When Harry Met Sally."
991
00:49:58,443 --> 00:49:59,877
Eh, more like "When
Harry Potter Met Sally."
992
00:50:00,078 --> 00:50:02,246
So walk us through it.
993
00:50:02,281 --> 00:50:03,847
What were you wearing?
994
00:50:04,249 --> 00:50:07,117
- Well, I had a blue shirt...
- Hey, sorry I'm late, guys.
995
00:50:07,152 --> 00:50:10,553
I was making a kick-ass risotto
and you have to keep stirring.
996
00:50:10,922 --> 00:50:13,257
Ror, Stuart made love with Jessica.
997
00:50:13,591 --> 00:50:15,292
Well, actually, they rubbed
their clitorises together.
998
00:50:15,626 --> 00:50:17,795
Wait, you slept with Jessica?
How could you do that?
999
00:50:18,263 --> 00:50:20,497
- You know that her and I have a thing.
- What thing?
1000
00:50:20,531 --> 00:50:23,933
"What thing"? There's, like, sexual
tension every time we're in a room together.
1001
00:50:24,268 --> 00:50:25,968
You do know that sexual tension
1002
00:50:26,304 --> 00:50:28,571
is not just you being tense
in a room with someone?
1003
00:50:28,806 --> 00:50:31,073
Oh, that makes sense.
1004
00:50:31,108 --> 00:50:33,576
Yeah, 'cause otherwise, I'd have
sexual tension with my father.
1005
00:50:33,944 --> 00:50:36,413
- Wow.
- So do you want to date her?
1006
00:50:36,447 --> 00:50:39,782
Do I want to date her?
1007
00:50:40,117 --> 00:50:41,884
- Great questions of wonder.
- Yeah.
1008
00:50:42,286 --> 00:50:43,752
You know, I haven't thought
that far ahead, really.
1009
00:50:44,288 --> 00:50:46,131
It was just the moment took
us, you know, and there was...
1010
00:50:46,132 --> 00:50:46,952
there was a passion,
1011
00:50:46,957 --> 00:50:48,490
certainly, in the boudoir.
1012
00:50:48,792 --> 00:50:50,693
- Hey.
- And we get on well, you know?
1013
00:50:51,128 --> 00:50:52,862
- You've seen that.
- It's so much sexual tension.
1014
00:50:53,163 --> 00:50:54,430
It's not just about sexual tension, though.
1015
00:50:54,798 --> 00:50:56,298
I think there's also
something else, you know?
1016
00:50:56,633 --> 00:50:57,899
There's an ease. I'm relaxed around her.
1017
00:50:58,301 --> 00:50:59,768
I'm not trying so hard. I'm
not going into my shtick.
1018
00:50:59,803 --> 00:51:01,837
- Yeah.
- And she saw your tiny penis.
1019
00:51:02,138 --> 00:51:03,872
My penis is of normal size, all right?
1020
00:51:04,341 --> 00:51:05,607
- I will put it up against any man's.
- Wouldn't be the first time.
1021
00:51:05,642 --> 00:51:08,544
Don't cheapen what I've got here, please.
1022
00:51:08,812 --> 00:51:10,078
- Kives.
- Yeah, right?
1023
00:51:10,112 --> 00:51:11,947
So what was the first kiss like?
1024
00:51:11,981 --> 00:51:14,682
Was it like falling into a warm bath?
1025
00:51:14,984 --> 00:51:16,517
Yeah. It was a little bit, yeah.
1026
00:51:18,321 --> 00:51:20,255
- I am so excited about this.
- You need to calm down.
1027
00:51:20,522 --> 00:51:22,357
Oh, no. It's romance.
1028
00:51:36,204 --> 00:51:38,773
This is a delicate matter.
1029
00:51:39,007 --> 00:51:40,908
The truth is, bro,
1030
00:51:41,209 --> 00:51:44,912
I've sort of developed
feelings for Jessica.
1031
00:51:46,348 --> 00:51:50,817
Which I did act upon
1032
00:51:51,019 --> 00:51:53,320
last eve.
1033
00:51:53,521 --> 00:51:55,222
You mean you fucked her?
1034
00:51:55,523 --> 00:51:56,490
I wouldn't put it like that.
1035
00:51:56,724 --> 00:51:58,959
No, I would say that we, um,
1036
00:51:59,194 --> 00:52:01,528
intercoursed...
1037
00:52:01,729 --> 00:52:02,662
sexually.
1038
00:52:03,030 --> 00:52:05,164
I assumed you were fucking her already.
1039
00:52:05,366 --> 00:52:06,533
Me, no. No.
1040
00:52:08,035 --> 00:52:11,304
Well, thanks for not calling last eve.
1041
00:52:11,539 --> 00:52:13,940
'Cause I was with...
1042
00:52:16,043 --> 00:52:16,943
that.
1043
00:52:18,745 --> 00:52:20,380
She used to do porn.
1044
00:52:20,547 --> 00:52:21,514
She used to...
1045
00:52:21,748 --> 00:52:23,516
- Do porn.
- Porn.
1046
00:52:23,717 --> 00:52:24,583
I thought you said porn.
1047
00:52:24,618 --> 00:52:26,719
Good for her.
1048
00:52:40,233 --> 00:52:42,468
Knock, knock. Hey.
1049
00:52:42,736 --> 00:52:44,937
I got you a little gift.
1050
00:52:44,971 --> 00:52:48,373
Um, just to help you with
your college application.
1051
00:52:48,408 --> 00:52:51,243
- Oh, thank you.
- Of course.
1052
00:52:51,411 --> 00:52:53,345
That's so sweet.
1053
00:52:53,579 --> 00:52:55,414
Good.
1054
00:52:55,581 --> 00:52:59,184
And, uh, also,
1055
00:52:59,419 --> 00:53:02,454
in other news, um,
1056
00:53:02,755 --> 00:53:06,091
I have been thinking...
1057
00:53:07,793 --> 00:53:09,961
I think we should start dating.
1058
00:53:10,295 --> 00:53:12,931
Yeah, I spoke to Glenn. He's cool with it.
1059
00:53:13,265 --> 00:53:14,666
He's already having sex with a porn star.
1060
00:53:15,100 --> 00:53:17,936
And, you know, we get on well.
We got a good rapport, you know?
1061
00:53:18,303 --> 00:53:20,104
We sort of basically hang
out all the time anyway.
1062
00:53:20,439 --> 00:53:21,606
And, you know, we've made love.
1063
00:53:21,941 --> 00:53:23,640
And that seemed to go well.
1064
00:53:24,109 --> 00:53:25,943
I'm not saying there's not
improvements to be made, you know?
1065
00:53:25,978 --> 00:53:28,145
I got a few ideas for next time.
1066
00:53:28,180 --> 00:53:30,881
But, you know, I really like
you, I think you would like me.
1067
00:53:31,116 --> 00:53:32,850
It's just... why not?
1068
00:53:36,121 --> 00:53:37,955
Um...
1069
00:53:39,657 --> 00:53:41,391
wow, that's a lot to absorb.
1070
00:53:41,793 --> 00:53:44,862
Yes, sorry. I got a bit gabbley
because I was nervous, but...
1071
00:53:46,531 --> 00:53:47,698
I mean, what do you think?
1072
00:53:47,732 --> 00:53:49,800
Um...
1073
00:53:52,804 --> 00:53:54,237
You know, Stuart,
1074
00:53:54,639 --> 00:53:56,873
last night was not
something I was expecting
1075
00:53:57,141 --> 00:53:59,476
or even thinking about.
1076
00:53:59,676 --> 00:54:01,544
And I had fun. I did.
1077
00:54:03,147 --> 00:54:05,815
Um... but I don't really think now
1078
00:54:06,183 --> 00:54:08,051
is a good time for me
to be in a relationship.
1079
00:54:08,486 --> 00:54:11,354
I just have so much shit
in my life to figure out.
1080
00:54:11,822 --> 00:54:13,723
Absolutely. No, I'm saying I can
help you with that shit, you know?
1081
00:54:13,991 --> 00:54:15,958
And we can take it slow
1082
00:54:16,326 --> 00:54:19,695
and maybe just start with a first date.
1083
00:54:21,097 --> 00:54:23,332
I just... I really wanna
figure out this college thing
1084
00:54:23,366 --> 00:54:26,235
and I don't really think
1085
00:54:26,537 --> 00:54:30,039
I'm in the right head space to date anyone.
1086
00:54:32,108 --> 00:54:34,843
Is it okay if we just stay friends for now?
1087
00:54:38,014 --> 00:54:39,581
Of course, yes, totally.
1088
00:54:40,050 --> 00:54:42,951
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I didn't
want this to seem heavy or anything.
1089
00:54:43,353 --> 00:54:44,486
I just... yeah, I just
thought I'd put it out there.
1090
00:54:44,687 --> 00:54:46,421
But, yeah, absolutely.
1091
00:54:49,191 --> 00:54:51,660
- I will let you get back to your work.
- Okay.
1092
00:54:51,694 --> 00:54:53,862
And, uh, see you around.
1093
00:54:54,196 --> 00:54:55,864
All right, I'll see you around.
1094
00:55:02,237 --> 00:55:03,837
Main thing is the friendship's still there.
1095
00:55:03,872 --> 00:55:06,107
Yeah, that's the thing I was
most worried about jeopardizing,
1096
00:55:06,542 --> 00:55:08,209
- the friendship.
- And she didn't say never.
1097
00:55:08,243 --> 00:55:11,812
Yeah, I think it's just about
giving her enough time to,
1098
00:55:11,846 --> 00:55:14,315
- you know, get her head together.
- Yeah.
1099
00:55:14,716 --> 00:55:18,119
I think the bedrock to
any great relationship
1100
00:55:18,153 --> 00:55:19,753
is the friendship.
1101
00:55:20,221 --> 00:55:22,456
And you just water it and
make sure it gets enough sun
1102
00:55:22,724 --> 00:55:23,523
and it's gonna blossom.
1103
00:55:23,558 --> 00:55:25,960
- You think so?
- I know so.
1104
00:55:26,227 --> 00:55:27,861
Well, I hope so.
1105
00:55:28,096 --> 00:55:30,430
Your friend's right.
1106
00:55:30,599 --> 00:55:32,600
Yeah.
1107
00:55:32,901 --> 00:55:34,401
Sorry, I was eavesdropping.
1108
00:55:34,769 --> 00:55:37,237
- Which is... that's rude.
- No. No, not at all.
1109
00:55:37,572 --> 00:55:38,838
You know what? I eavesdrop all the time.
1110
00:55:38,872 --> 00:55:40,307
- It's all right.
1111
00:55:40,608 --> 00:55:41,874
I don't usually just sit at bars
1112
00:55:42,243 --> 00:55:43,210
listening to strangers' conversations,
1113
00:55:43,611 --> 00:55:45,278
I just, um, I'm locked out of my building
1114
00:55:45,746 --> 00:55:48,281
and I'm waiting for my sister
to bring the extra key, so...
1115
00:55:48,749 --> 00:55:50,550
- That happened to me once. You know what I did?
- Hmm?
1116
00:55:50,585 --> 00:55:52,451
I buried a spare key in my front yard.
1117
00:55:52,753 --> 00:55:54,353
How did you remember where it was, though?
1118
00:55:54,387 --> 00:55:57,456
It's under the only yellow flower.
1119
00:56:00,594 --> 00:56:02,194
- That's a good idea.
- It is, right?
1120
00:56:02,229 --> 00:56:04,497
I'm gonna steal that. The idea.
1121
00:56:04,531 --> 00:56:06,298
- Not my key, though.
- Not your key, though.
1122
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:09,168
The idea. Just the idea.
1123
00:56:09,603 --> 00:56:12,971
- Hey, by any chance do you live alone?
- Um, yeah, I do.
1124
00:56:13,306 --> 00:56:14,607
Have you ever thought
about what you would do
1125
00:56:15,108 --> 00:56:16,609
if you fell over and hurt yourself
and couldn't call for help?
1126
00:56:16,643 --> 00:56:19,345
- Every day.
- You know, me and my buddy Stuart here,
1127
00:56:19,613 --> 00:56:20,879
we started a system.
1128
00:56:21,148 --> 00:56:23,549
I text him AG, means all good,
1129
00:56:23,583 --> 00:56:25,751
every two hours so he knows I'm okay.
1130
00:56:26,119 --> 00:56:28,553
He doesn't get that
text, he sends some help.
1131
00:56:28,821 --> 00:56:30,756
Can I get in on that or...
1132
00:56:31,157 --> 00:56:34,292
- Oh, definitely. Let me get your number.
- Okay.
1133
00:56:34,661 --> 00:56:38,596
Listen, I, uh, I just
remembered I gotta take off.
1134
00:56:38,631 --> 00:56:40,032
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
1135
00:56:40,299 --> 00:56:41,599
No, no, you stay. Please.
1136
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,068
Look after this lady. Wait
for her sister to get here.
1137
00:56:44,470 --> 00:56:45,870
- He never leaves a damsel in distress.
- Yeah.
1138
00:56:46,305 --> 00:56:48,406
- Gentleman. All right, thanks for talking.
- Yeah.
1139
00:56:48,807 --> 00:56:50,141
- Yeah, I'll see you soon. Nice to meet you.
- Bye.
1140
00:56:50,342 --> 00:56:51,909
See ya, buddy.
1141
00:56:52,344 --> 00:56:55,180
- Well, I'm gonna scooch on over.
- Yeah, scooch down here.
1142
00:56:57,316 --> 00:56:59,349
- I'm Wade, by the way.
- Kate. Hi.
1143
00:56:59,685 --> 00:57:01,986
- Kate, nice to meet you.
- You, too.
1144
00:57:02,353 --> 00:57:03,988
- Um, so here's a good question...
- Yeah.
1145
00:57:04,355 --> 00:57:07,058
... um, let's say you
can only have three items
1146
00:57:07,092 --> 00:57:08,826
- in your earthquake kit, right?
- Mm.
1147
00:57:09,194 --> 00:57:11,495
- What do you choose?
- One, flashlight. Two, iodine tablets.
1148
00:57:11,830 --> 00:57:13,731
- Three, whistle.
- Whistle.
1149
00:57:13,765 --> 00:57:14,798
Yeah.
1150
00:57:15,032 --> 00:57:17,201
- This is weird.
- It's so weird.
1151
00:57:19,370 --> 00:57:20,870
- To whistles.
- To whistles.
1152
00:57:20,905 --> 00:57:23,307
To whistles.
1153
00:57:23,341 --> 00:57:26,443
- So how long have you been in this area?
- About five years.
1154
00:57:26,477 --> 00:57:29,946
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, I looked it up and they have a really low crime rate.
1155
00:57:29,980 --> 00:57:31,915
It's the lowest. It's the lowest.
1156
00:57:32,216 --> 00:57:34,117
- It's like tri-county.
- Exactly.
1157
00:57:34,518 --> 00:57:36,052
- Tri-county.
- We must have read the same website.
1158
00:57:36,353 --> 00:57:38,254
I'm sure we did. I'm sure we did.
1159
00:58:34,744 --> 00:58:37,378
- Sorry, did you want to watch something else or...
- Oh, no. This is good.
1160
00:58:37,612 --> 00:58:39,413
- This is all right?
- Yeah.
1161
00:58:53,595 --> 00:58:55,296
That's it. I've got to say something.
1162
00:58:55,597 --> 00:58:57,097
We've been working for three hours here
1163
00:58:57,432 --> 00:58:59,833
and you haven't said anything
about my new hairstyle.
1164
00:59:00,101 --> 00:59:01,602
Oh, sorry, mate.
1165
00:59:01,803 --> 00:59:02,903
It looks good. It does.
1166
00:59:03,271 --> 00:59:05,272
Thank you. That's all I wanted to hear.
1167
00:59:16,983 --> 00:59:19,518
Stuart.
1168
00:59:19,552 --> 00:59:21,687
Stuart.
1169
00:59:26,126 --> 00:59:27,893
- What's wrong? Everything all right?
- No.
1170
00:59:28,328 --> 00:59:30,762
I was working on my college
application because it's due tomorrow
1171
00:59:30,797 --> 00:59:33,932
and my computer froze and I
think I just lost my entire essay.
1172
00:59:34,300 --> 00:59:36,702
And I don't think I saved it
the last time I went through it
1173
00:59:36,969 --> 00:59:38,169
and I don't know what to do.
1174
00:59:38,504 --> 00:59:39,371
Calm down, calm down. It's all right.
1175
00:59:39,639 --> 00:59:41,239
I'll take a look at it.
1176
00:59:41,641 --> 00:59:44,309
It is completely frozen.
I didn't do anything.
1177
00:59:46,813 --> 00:59:48,447
I think you got some corrupted files.
1178
00:59:48,815 --> 00:59:50,414
Do you think you can get my work back?
1179
00:59:50,449 --> 00:59:52,317
Hopefully.
1180
00:59:56,322 --> 00:59:59,390
I saw you going into that new
bar on Sunset the other night.
1181
01:00:04,496 --> 01:00:05,830
Yeah.
1182
01:00:05,864 --> 01:00:07,832
Just had a drink there.
1183
01:00:09,735 --> 01:00:11,669
Was it a date?
1184
01:00:14,539 --> 01:00:16,741
Um...
1185
01:00:17,008 --> 01:00:18,709
yeah, kind of.
1186
01:00:22,180 --> 01:00:23,847
So when you said you weren't
1187
01:00:23,882 --> 01:00:26,616
in the right space to...
1188
01:00:27,051 --> 01:00:29,686
to be dating, what you meant
was you don't want to date me.
1189
01:00:37,028 --> 01:00:39,028
Stuart, I'm sorry.
1190
01:00:41,732 --> 01:00:43,433
I wasn't asking you to marry me, you know?
1191
01:00:43,734 --> 01:00:47,203
I just said come out on one date.
1192
01:00:47,237 --> 01:00:50,373
Why did you not give me that?
1193
01:00:54,912 --> 01:00:56,279
It's not you.
1194
01:00:56,313 --> 01:00:58,948
I just have, like...
1195
01:01:01,051 --> 01:01:02,885
You know, I...
1196
01:01:04,754 --> 01:01:07,056
I just need to know...
1197
01:01:07,391 --> 01:01:09,892
why you don't want to date me.
1198
01:01:13,062 --> 01:01:16,131
- Stuart.
- I'm getting too old to keep fucking up.
1199
01:01:16,165 --> 01:01:17,733
Please.
1200
01:01:22,405 --> 01:01:24,005
You're a really good guy.
1201
01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:26,041
You are.
1202
01:01:26,275 --> 01:01:28,476
But honestly, I...
1203
01:01:28,510 --> 01:01:30,745
I think
1204
01:01:30,779 --> 01:01:34,282
that you're just competing
with the past, you know?
1205
01:01:34,616 --> 01:01:37,452
And I can't get involved with someone...
1206
01:01:38,955 --> 01:01:41,323
who's 35 and...
1207
01:01:43,492 --> 01:01:46,527
still obsessed with sitting
at the popular table.
1208
01:01:46,762 --> 01:01:48,763
I can't.
1209
01:01:49,130 --> 01:01:51,666
I don't know. I guess
I just have this image
1210
01:01:51,934 --> 01:01:54,469
in my head of
1211
01:01:54,937 --> 01:01:58,439
who I'm gonna spend the rest
of my life with, you know?
1212
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:00,441
The one. My one.
1213
01:02:04,645 --> 01:02:08,182
And I'm really sorry, but
I just don't think it's you.
1214
01:02:14,489 --> 01:02:16,623
Well, thanks for being honest.
1215
01:02:19,827 --> 01:02:21,027
Is that your essay?
1216
01:02:21,328 --> 01:02:23,162
- Oh, my gosh, yeah.
- Yeah, great.
1217
01:02:23,464 --> 01:02:25,599
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1218
01:02:25,633 --> 01:02:27,634
- Should be okay.
- Yeah.
1219
01:02:32,139 --> 01:02:34,540
I, uh...
1220
01:02:34,841 --> 01:02:36,842
think maybe you should move out.
1221
01:02:37,177 --> 01:02:39,645
Oh, you don't think we can get past this?
1222
01:02:41,648 --> 01:02:43,149
I think it would be too difficult.
1223
01:02:43,484 --> 01:02:46,219
You know, you'll be around and dating.
1224
01:02:48,822 --> 01:02:50,589
I know I'd help you with the
rent and that still stands.
1225
01:02:50,991 --> 01:02:52,625
- No, no, you don't have to do that.
- No, please.
1226
01:02:52,859 --> 01:02:54,793
We made that deal. It's fine.
1227
01:02:55,161 --> 01:02:56,829
Take as long as you need
to find somewhere else.
1228
01:03:00,667 --> 01:03:02,200
Good night.
1229
01:03:21,487 --> 01:03:23,855
- Here are my keys.
- Oh, thanks.
1230
01:03:25,858 --> 01:03:27,725
- Bye, Rory.
- Bye, Jessica.
1231
01:03:30,829 --> 01:03:32,063
Okay, bye.
1232
01:03:33,632 --> 01:03:34,933
Yup, bye.
1233
01:03:46,378 --> 01:03:48,379
- You okay?
- I will be.
1234
01:04:55,660 --> 01:04:57,460
- This is Glenn.
- Hey, it's Stuart.
1235
01:04:57,734 --> 01:04:59,969
Chicken Wings. What's going on, buddy?
1236
01:05:00,437 --> 01:05:02,972
Just sort of feeling like
I need to let my hair down.
1237
01:05:03,407 --> 01:05:05,975
I was wondering if there's
any fun parties this weekend.
1238
01:05:06,010 --> 01:05:08,311
Alan's having another boat party.
Want me to put you on the list?
1239
01:05:08,745 --> 01:05:09,913
Yeah, that would be good. Thank you.
1240
01:05:10,281 --> 01:05:11,914
Do you mind if I bring a couple of friends?
1241
01:05:12,248 --> 01:05:13,582
- Are they cool?
- Yeah.
1242
01:05:13,917 --> 01:05:14,950
Why not? All right.
1243
01:05:15,251 --> 01:05:18,220
- Oh, oh!
- You okay, you okay?
1244
01:05:18,422 --> 01:05:20,989
There we go.
1245
01:05:32,768 --> 01:05:35,003
Hello. Hello.
1246
01:05:35,438 --> 01:05:37,072
You've never seen "The Poseidon
Adventure"? Oh, it's great.
1247
01:05:37,273 --> 01:05:38,373
Stuart.
1248
01:05:38,607 --> 01:05:40,708
Oh, hello, sir.
1249
01:05:41,110 --> 01:05:43,045
- Thank you for having me back.
- Haven't seen you lately.
1250
01:05:43,479 --> 01:05:45,780
No, I haven't really been in the
party mood if I'm honest, sir.
1251
01:05:45,815 --> 01:05:48,115
I sort of split up with a girl.
1252
01:05:48,451 --> 01:05:50,184
Plenty of more beavers in the river.
1253
01:05:50,453 --> 01:05:51,986
Well, maybe, yeah.
1254
01:05:52,020 --> 01:05:53,922
I quite like this beaver.
1255
01:05:54,289 --> 01:05:58,059
Don't get hung up on any
one woman. Not worth it.
1256
01:05:58,461 --> 01:06:01,429
- You know what pussy is spelled backwards?
- No.
1257
01:06:01,629 --> 01:06:04,131
- "Wise up."
- Oh.
1258
01:06:04,466 --> 01:06:06,334
- Funny, right?
- Yeah, it's good. It's clever.
1259
01:06:06,801 --> 01:06:09,971
Glenn, lost the sunglasses again
if you could just pick them up.
1260
01:06:12,007 --> 01:06:15,576
Stuart, look after my friends
Brooke and Riley for a bit.
1261
01:06:15,610 --> 01:06:17,878
Where'd you see them last, Alan?
1262
01:06:19,347 --> 01:06:21,181
- Hello, ladies.
- Hi.
1263
01:06:21,649 --> 01:06:24,150
And then she said, "That's
not why it's called a poop deck."
1264
01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:34,327
Just one second, ladies.
1265
01:06:38,832 --> 01:06:40,833
- Take care of it.
- Yeah.
1266
01:06:43,237 --> 01:06:45,005
One second.
1267
01:06:45,395 --> 01:06:47,463
Hey, buddy, this is a little awkward,
1268
01:06:47,497 --> 01:06:51,332
but Alan has a slight
issue with your friends.
1269
01:06:51,568 --> 01:06:52,968
What do you mean?
1270
01:06:53,002 --> 01:06:55,003
It's just not really the vibe
1271
01:06:55,271 --> 01:06:56,939
he's going for at these parties.
1272
01:06:57,239 --> 01:06:59,207
But Alan said they can hang out below deck
1273
01:06:59,576 --> 01:07:01,610
just so they're not in
everybody's faces so much.
1274
01:07:03,580 --> 01:07:06,147
- "Below deck"?
- Yeah, but you can hang out up here.
1275
01:07:06,415 --> 01:07:08,116
I think Riley likes you.
1276
01:07:10,619 --> 01:07:12,153
- All right.
- Yeah.
1277
01:07:12,455 --> 01:07:13,654
- You good?
- Sure, yeah, of course.
1278
01:07:13,922 --> 01:07:16,924
Thanks, buddy.
1279
01:07:17,259 --> 01:07:19,794
I have the funniest story from Cabo.
1280
01:07:20,096 --> 01:07:20,962
You're gonna lose your shit.
1281
01:07:21,263 --> 01:07:23,431
Two years ago, I go down there...
1282
01:07:30,739 --> 01:07:32,840
Alan, sorry to interrupt, mate.
1283
01:07:33,141 --> 01:07:34,642
I just wanted to ask you something.
1284
01:07:34,676 --> 01:07:38,278
Glenn said you've got an issue
with my friends being up on deck.
1285
01:07:38,647 --> 01:07:41,115
- I don't care about your friends.
- No? Oh, that's good.
1286
01:07:41,149 --> 01:07:42,849
Right, I thought there must
have been a miscommunication
1287
01:07:43,151 --> 01:07:44,485
'cause it would seem hypocritical
1288
01:07:44,952 --> 01:07:47,521
given that you're a misogynistical
wanker who's gonna die alone.
1289
01:07:48,856 --> 01:07:51,191
Funny, right?
1290
01:07:52,627 --> 01:07:55,762
Glenn, get your friend
the fuck off my boat.
1291
01:07:56,131 --> 01:07:58,732
- He's not my friend.
- No, he's not my friend.
1292
01:07:59,166 --> 01:08:00,934
He's just a toady, really, that
I just use to try and get girls.
1293
01:08:01,301 --> 01:08:03,670
All right, well, I'll show myself out.
1294
01:08:03,971 --> 01:08:06,172
Cheers, mate. See you later.
1295
01:08:13,647 --> 01:08:15,881
How in the fuck you get us
thrown off a boat full of models?
1296
01:08:16,183 --> 01:08:18,050
Sorry, you know, I just...
1297
01:08:18,084 --> 01:08:21,354
I want you to know this is the
worst thing that has ever happened to me...
1298
01:08:21,388 --> 01:08:22,955
and I can't walk.
1299
01:08:34,378 --> 01:08:36,412
When I started at
college, I was really excited.
1300
01:08:36,713 --> 01:08:40,149
But then a couple of months in,
1301
01:08:40,550 --> 01:08:43,319
I just... I started feeling adrift again.
1302
01:08:43,720 --> 01:08:45,255
I kept thinking, like,
"Why am I even doing this?
1303
01:08:45,722 --> 01:08:48,758
Where am I going and what am I
gonna do with the rest of my life?"
1304
01:08:51,060 --> 01:08:52,828
But then I was in class this one day
1305
01:08:53,229 --> 01:08:56,999
and this professor was giving
this fascinating talk...
1306
01:08:57,033 --> 01:09:00,002
All your actions must have universality.
1307
01:09:00,311 --> 01:09:02,479
... and I realized
1308
01:09:02,813 --> 01:09:04,581
I loved that I knew something
1309
01:09:04,615 --> 01:09:06,749
I didn't know an hour before.
1310
01:09:07,151 --> 01:09:10,553
I was just enjoying being
there in that moment.
1311
01:09:10,855 --> 01:09:13,357
I wasn't worried about the future.
1312
01:09:13,524 --> 01:09:15,225
I was just there.
1313
01:09:17,661 --> 01:09:20,897
So that's just good
enough for me right now.
1314
01:09:21,081 --> 01:09:24,083
That's exactly how I
feel when I rock climb.
1315
01:09:24,317 --> 01:09:26,585
Wow, you rock climb?
1316
01:09:26,820 --> 01:09:28,254
- I do.
- Cool.
1317
01:09:28,488 --> 01:09:30,823
- Jessica.
- Oh.
1318
01:09:30,991 --> 01:09:33,225
Hi.
1319
01:09:33,493 --> 01:09:35,394
Oh, this is Marion and Paul.
1320
01:09:35,428 --> 01:09:38,897
- And this is Josh.
- Glenn. This is Brooke.
1321
01:09:39,166 --> 01:09:40,533
- Hi.
- Hi.
1322
01:09:40,867 --> 01:09:42,668
So what are you up to? How's it going?
1323
01:09:42,869 --> 01:09:45,171
Just been working 24/7.
1324
01:09:45,505 --> 01:09:47,473
Oh, I finally got a parking spot on P2.
1325
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:50,242
- Oh, wow. Great.
- It's awesome.
1326
01:09:50,377 --> 01:09:52,978
So how's Stuart doing? Have you seen him?
1327
01:09:53,012 --> 01:09:55,247
- Who cares? He's a fucking asshole.
- Whoa.
1328
01:09:55,648 --> 01:09:58,049
- I thought you guys were best buds.
- Fuck that dude.
1329
01:09:58,484 --> 01:10:01,619
He disrespected Alan on his own
boat and he calls me a "toady"?
1330
01:10:01,954 --> 01:10:03,955
I looked it up. It's some British slang.
1331
01:10:04,290 --> 01:10:06,524
He basically called me a
sycophantic little bitch.
1332
01:10:06,793 --> 01:10:08,226
People in this town.
1333
01:10:08,610 --> 01:10:10,144
I gotta go, though.
1334
01:10:10,612 --> 01:10:12,613
Alan's by himself at a club,
so I got to meet up with him,
1335
01:10:12,948 --> 01:10:14,482
but, uh, see you down the road.
1336
01:10:14,650 --> 01:10:16,116
Okay.
1337
01:10:29,164 --> 01:10:32,799
- Hello?
- Hey, it's Stuart. Is it a bad time?
1338
01:10:33,168 --> 01:10:35,902
No, no. Not at all. I'm
just making breakfast.
1339
01:10:36,404 --> 01:10:39,506
We had an incredible
time and we loved Jessica.
1340
01:10:39,740 --> 01:10:41,608
She's adorable.
1341
01:10:41,909 --> 01:10:44,644
Oh, yeah. No, she is. She is.
1342
01:10:44,879 --> 01:10:48,714
Um, that's actually the reason I'm calling.
1343
01:10:48,949 --> 01:10:51,117
Uh...
1344
01:10:51,152 --> 01:10:53,686
she's not my girlfriend.
1345
01:10:53,954 --> 01:10:55,588
Oh, I'm sorry.
1346
01:10:55,823 --> 01:10:57,623
You guys broke up?
1347
01:10:57,825 --> 01:11:01,627
No, um, we never dated.
1348
01:11:03,330 --> 01:11:05,564
Also, I never dated Nicole Kidman.
1349
01:11:05,799 --> 01:11:08,334
She's just a friend.
1350
01:11:08,368 --> 01:11:10,770
She's not a friend. I
never even met her before.
1351
01:11:11,004 --> 01:11:13,138
Sorry, I'm confused.
1352
01:11:13,173 --> 01:11:15,340
Why would you do that?
1353
01:11:15,641 --> 01:11:18,010
Because I'm an idiot.
1354
01:11:18,344 --> 01:11:21,847
And I wanted to impress you and Mike.
1355
01:11:22,315 --> 01:11:25,918
But anyway, I just wanted to
call and apologize for that.
1356
01:11:26,152 --> 01:11:27,853
Okay.
1357
01:11:27,887 --> 01:11:30,789
Um, are you okay?
1358
01:11:31,024 --> 01:11:32,357
Yes. No, I'm good.
1359
01:11:32,658 --> 01:11:35,760
Everything's... everything's good.
1360
01:11:36,028 --> 01:11:37,662
Well, take care of yourself.
1361
01:11:37,697 --> 01:11:38,963
- And you.
- Okay.
1362
01:11:39,198 --> 01:11:40,665
- Bye.
- Bye.
1363
01:11:47,673 --> 01:11:49,073
I went, "What do we do?"
1364
01:11:49,374 --> 01:11:50,574
And I said, "You need some milk."
1365
01:11:50,608 --> 01:11:53,110
I couldn't understand, so I'm like, "No."
1366
01:11:53,145 --> 01:11:54,712
Get the milk out, it's expired.
1367
01:11:55,047 --> 01:11:57,014
I pour it, it's chunky, cottage cheese...
1368
01:11:57,216 --> 01:11:58,482
Disgusting.
1369
01:11:58,851 --> 01:12:00,885
Drink it and you'll feel better...
1370
01:12:04,823 --> 01:12:06,189
What is the bet to stay in the game?
1371
01:12:06,558 --> 01:12:08,892
- $2.
- The bet is $2 to stay in the game?
1372
01:12:09,193 --> 01:12:12,028
- $2.
- I... I'm out.
1373
01:12:12,364 --> 01:12:14,698
It's a shocker. Shocker that you folded.
1374
01:12:14,733 --> 01:12:18,168
Can I get my homeboys any
more paella or patatas bravas?
1375
01:12:18,202 --> 01:12:20,036
Yes, thank you.
1376
01:12:21,906 --> 01:12:24,607
Hey, Stuart, it's me.
1377
01:12:24,742 --> 01:12:26,743
Jessica.
1378
01:12:26,777 --> 01:12:28,245
And, um...
1379
01:12:28,579 --> 01:12:30,213
I know we haven't spoken in a while,
1380
01:12:30,547 --> 01:12:32,983
but it is my birthday on Friday.
1381
01:12:33,251 --> 01:12:35,852
And I will be having drinks
1382
01:12:36,220 --> 01:12:37,653
in the same place as last year
1383
01:12:38,054 --> 01:12:40,456
where I'll be pretending I'm
the same age as last year.
1384
01:12:40,724 --> 01:12:42,792
So if you'd like to come,
1385
01:12:43,093 --> 01:12:46,295
it would be great to see you.
1386
01:12:46,563 --> 01:12:48,598
Okay, I hope you're well.
1387
01:12:48,766 --> 01:12:50,065
Bye.
1388
01:12:56,940 --> 01:12:58,040
- Hey.
- Hi.
1389
01:12:58,408 --> 01:13:00,642
- Happy birthday.
- Oh, thank you.
1390
01:13:00,911 --> 01:13:02,444
- This is my girlfriend Kate.
- Hi.
1391
01:13:02,478 --> 01:13:03,946
- Oh, it's so nice to meet you.
- You, too.
1392
01:13:03,980 --> 01:13:06,081
- This is for you. It's from both of us.
- Thank you.
1393
01:13:06,416 --> 01:13:08,417
- Both of us. See you later.
- Okay.
1394
01:13:10,120 --> 01:13:11,352
- Hello.
- Hi.
1395
01:13:11,621 --> 01:13:12,821
I am Wade's friend Stuart.
1396
01:13:13,122 --> 01:13:14,890
Oh, it's very nice to meet you.
1397
01:13:15,090 --> 01:13:16,425
Nice to...
1398
01:13:18,761 --> 01:13:20,529
- This is for you. Happy birthday.
- Oh, thank you.
1399
01:13:20,930 --> 01:13:22,997
- Wow.
- I think you'll be very pleased with this.
1400
01:13:23,299 --> 01:13:26,902
It is a gift card for 24-hour tech support.
1401
01:13:27,303 --> 01:13:29,870
Amazing, right? So if your computer
crashes or if you lose any essays,
1402
01:13:30,306 --> 01:13:33,374
- you just holler and I'm there.
- Thank you. That's very sweet.
1403
01:13:33,608 --> 01:13:35,109
- And cheap.
- Very cheap.
1404
01:13:35,444 --> 01:13:37,211
- That's the other bonus point.
- Yeah.
1405
01:13:37,612 --> 01:13:38,779
- The only thing it cost me was Rory's time.
- Rory.
1406
01:13:38,814 --> 01:13:40,248
He worked night and day on it.
1407
01:13:40,615 --> 01:13:42,083
- How is Rory doing?
- He's good. He's very good.
1408
01:13:42,318 --> 01:13:43,884
Oh, wow. I miss him.
1409
01:13:44,118 --> 01:13:45,653
So sorry to interrupt,
1410
01:13:46,120 --> 01:13:47,955
- but I need your help writing this text.
- Are you okay?
1411
01:13:48,323 --> 01:13:50,958
- Yeah, I just need to fire my manager tonight.
- Okay.
1412
01:13:52,494 --> 01:13:55,796
It is 10:30. Is that the time to do this?
1413
01:14:15,816 --> 01:14:17,249
- Hey.
- Hey.
1414
01:14:17,284 --> 01:14:20,052
How's it going? Please, sit down.
1415
01:14:20,087 --> 01:14:22,889
- Sorry about earlier.
- Oh, don't worry.
1416
01:14:23,323 --> 01:14:25,324
No, it's your birthday, you
know? You've got stuff going on.
1417
01:14:25,659 --> 01:14:27,994
- How's college? Good?
- Oh, I love it.
1418
01:14:28,028 --> 01:14:29,796
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1419
01:14:29,830 --> 01:14:33,199
And everybody's real respectful
of me because I'm twice their age.
1420
01:14:33,500 --> 01:14:34,467
- Perfect.
- So that's good.
1421
01:14:34,667 --> 01:14:35,834
That's good.
1422
01:14:39,873 --> 01:14:43,376
So how are you? Any models
in your life at the moment?
1423
01:14:43,843 --> 01:14:46,912
No. Supermodels and I have mutually
agreed to take some time apart.
1424
01:14:47,180 --> 01:14:48,680
- Wow.
- Yeah. Yeah.
1425
01:14:48,848 --> 01:14:50,516
Good.
1426
01:14:50,884 --> 01:14:53,184
What about you? How's
the search for the one?
1427
01:14:53,686 --> 01:14:57,689
Yeah, I've been on a couple
of dates with this guy.
1428
01:14:57,724 --> 01:14:59,357
Josh.
1429
01:14:59,726 --> 01:15:03,094
He's very nice, but, eh,
I'm not sure he's the one.
1430
01:15:03,129 --> 01:15:06,864
I'm not even sure I know what the one is.
1431
01:15:09,568 --> 01:15:11,802
I'm not convinced of your idea of the one.
1432
01:15:12,038 --> 01:15:13,371
- Oh, no?
- No.
1433
01:15:13,739 --> 01:15:16,274
I don't think love is
about, you know, fireworks
1434
01:15:16,708 --> 01:15:20,078
and, you know, just birds
singing and the perfect person.
1435
01:15:20,112 --> 01:15:21,433
- That's a little depressing.
- No, I don't know.
1436
01:15:21,434 --> 01:15:23,100
Do you know what I think it's about? Love?
1437
01:15:23,105 --> 01:15:24,314
- Hmm?
- Percentages.
1438
01:15:24,716 --> 01:15:26,316
- Yeah, I've been thinking about this.
- Percentages?
1439
01:15:26,351 --> 01:15:29,453
It's all about percentages. You know,
like, all right, look at you and me, okay?
1440
01:15:29,487 --> 01:15:33,758
Now 18% of the time, you drove me crazy.
1441
01:15:34,092 --> 01:15:37,161
I'm talking fucking insane, all right?
1442
01:15:37,395 --> 01:15:39,129
But 82% of the time,
1443
01:15:39,164 --> 01:15:42,066
I had more fun with you than anyone ever.
1444
01:15:42,400 --> 01:15:43,833
You know, that was good enough for me.
1445
01:15:44,069 --> 01:15:45,202
So I... I don't know.
1446
01:15:45,236 --> 01:15:47,737
I think consider what your
percentages are with Josh
1447
01:15:48,073 --> 01:15:50,140
and if you like the numbers,
1448
01:15:50,408 --> 01:15:53,043
give him a go.
1449
01:15:53,445 --> 01:15:55,745
Then again, what do I know?
I mean, I came here with Wade.
1450
01:15:58,082 --> 01:15:59,849
Let's get shots!
1451
01:16:00,084 --> 01:16:01,184
Come on!
1452
01:16:01,218 --> 01:16:02,752
- Wanna have a shot?
- No, I won't have a shot.
1453
01:16:03,087 --> 01:16:04,554
- Oh, come on.
- No, no, no.
1454
01:16:04,889 --> 01:16:06,122
Please, guys, honestly,
1455
01:16:06,557 --> 01:16:08,091
one, I'm too old and B, I've
got work tomorrow, honestly.
1456
01:16:08,125 --> 01:16:10,326
Well, my assistant's got work,
I've got to take the credit.
1457
01:16:10,360 --> 01:16:12,861
So I've got to be there to check on him.
1458
01:16:13,130 --> 01:16:14,530
You go. It's your birthday.
1459
01:16:14,898 --> 01:16:16,232
- It's really good to see you.
- Good to see you.
1460
01:16:16,567 --> 01:16:18,867
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
1461
01:16:19,069 --> 01:16:20,636
Come on.
1462
01:17:17,626 --> 01:17:18,692
Stuart.
1463
01:17:21,196 --> 01:17:22,563
79%.
1464
01:17:22,597 --> 01:17:25,699
Josh makes you happy 79% of the time?
1465
01:17:25,967 --> 01:17:28,502
- I'd stick with that bloke.
- No.
1466
01:17:28,803 --> 01:17:31,872
79% of the time I'm happy with you.
1467
01:17:56,730 --> 01:17:59,031
Wait, 79%? I gave you 82, woman.
1468
01:17:59,066 --> 01:18:02,034
That's because I'm better
than you in every single way.
1469
01:18:02,403 --> 01:18:03,936
- Name three ways you're better than me.
- More mature.
1470
01:18:04,171 --> 01:18:05,838
20/20 vision.
1471
01:18:06,173 --> 01:18:09,575
I am of normal human
height. There's so many.
1472
01:18:11,244 --> 01:18:12,678
Yeah, fair enough.
1473
01:20:18,801 --> 01:20:23,447
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
114220
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