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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,229 --> 00:00:19,130 Hello, ladies. Hi, my name's Stuart. 2 00:00:19,431 --> 00:00:20,565 - My good friend Wade right here. - Hi. 3 00:00:20,899 --> 00:00:21,932 - Hi, I'm Ashleigh. - Hi. 4 00:00:22,234 --> 00:00:24,135 - This is Mel. - How's it going? 5 00:00:24,436 --> 00:00:26,604 - How's your night going? - Good. 6 00:00:26,938 --> 00:00:29,707 Someone just mistook her for Mila Kunis. 7 00:00:30,075 --> 00:00:31,676 - Oh, yeah. - Yes, you do look like Mila, doesn't she? 8 00:00:32,077 --> 00:00:33,443 - Yeah. - And you look like someone famous as well. 9 00:00:33,745 --> 00:00:35,246 - Really? - Yeah, who is it? 10 00:00:35,580 --> 00:00:37,347 - I know who it is. - It's a movie star, isn't it? 11 00:00:37,749 --> 00:00:40,217 - Yes, it is. Yes, it is. It's Jude Law. - Jude Law. 12 00:00:40,418 --> 00:00:42,352 He's a man. 13 00:00:42,387 --> 00:00:43,720 Beautiful man, though, isn't he? 14 00:00:43,755 --> 00:00:45,756 - Gorgeous Jude. - Definitely. 15 00:00:46,091 --> 00:00:47,391 Hey, if Jude Law were a woman, I'd date him. 16 00:00:47,425 --> 00:00:48,725 There you go. Now, this guy's choosy. 17 00:00:49,094 --> 00:00:51,695 You should see his ex-wife... beautiful. 18 00:00:51,962 --> 00:00:53,363 - Sorry. - Oh, don't worry. 19 00:00:53,765 --> 00:00:55,732 Honestly, they'd be lucky to have you, mate. 20 00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:57,467 - I'm just pleased you're back on the horse. - Yeah. 21 00:00:57,769 --> 00:01:00,570 - Happy birthday. - Thank you. 22 00:01:00,938 --> 00:01:03,674 Oh, man, we're all so old. 23 00:01:03,974 --> 00:01:06,609 You're 30 and I'm turning 26 next year. 24 00:01:06,944 --> 00:01:09,612 - Yup, both of us. So old. - Yeah. 25 00:01:09,947 --> 00:01:13,049 - So how are you? - Oh, I'm really good. 26 00:01:13,483 --> 00:01:16,352 Yeah, I just booked a part in the new Steven Spielberg miniseries. 27 00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:17,854 - Oh, my God! - Yeah. 28 00:01:18,155 --> 00:01:20,190 - Congratulations. Wow. - Thanks. 29 00:01:20,624 --> 00:01:23,025 - Yeah, what about you? - Oh, you know, just this and that. 30 00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:26,261 Don't be modest. She has a callback for a yogurt commercial. 31 00:01:26,496 --> 00:01:28,197 - Yeah? - Cool. 32 00:01:28,465 --> 00:01:30,132 I love yogurt. 33 00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:33,803 Oh, yeah, it's good for digestion. 34 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:35,838 Can I just say how much I love your dress? 35 00:01:36,172 --> 00:01:38,140 Yes, you said that when you hit on me an hour ago. 36 00:01:38,342 --> 00:01:40,142 Oh, did I... 37 00:01:43,179 --> 00:01:44,980 - And no change in the last hour? - No. 38 00:01:45,348 --> 00:01:46,781 - No, all right. - You're not drinking tonight? 39 00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,283 - I have a surprise for you guys. - What? 40 00:01:48,318 --> 00:01:50,385 We're having a baby. 41 00:01:50,686 --> 00:01:51,854 - You wanna see a picture? - Yeah. 42 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,156 - Oh, it's gorgeous. - Thank you. 43 00:01:54,523 --> 00:01:57,392 - It's so pretty. - You know, it looks just like you. 44 00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,460 Oh, really? Thank you. 45 00:01:58,661 --> 00:01:59,627 Oh, yeah. Wow. 46 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,295 - Be your turn next. - Oh, no, no, no. 47 00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,865 - I don't think so. - We always use protection. 48 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,933 - You know the singer Bryan Adams, right? - Yeah. 49 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,903 Did you know he can make a girl come in 30 seconds? 50 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,873 - Ohh. - No, no. No one can make a girl come in 30 seconds. 51 00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:13,807 Oh, really? So you don't want to know how he does it? 52 00:02:14,209 --> 00:02:15,977 - Well, I will as I'm here. - It's all in the fingers. 53 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,512 How do you know Bryan Adams' fingering technique? 54 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,681 So a lot of people have been coming up to me and saying, like, 55 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:21,749 "So what's the deal with you and Glenn?" 56 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,118 - Have they? - Yeah. 57 00:02:24,152 --> 00:02:26,854 - What do you say when people ask you that? - Nobody asked me that. 58 00:02:27,222 --> 00:02:28,722 Well, yeah, but, I mean, if they did, what would you say? 59 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:29,790 I'd tell them to mind their own business. 60 00:02:29,824 --> 00:02:31,124 Well, okay, yeah, but hypothetically, 61 00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,727 if they made you answer, what would you say? 62 00:02:34,228 --> 00:02:35,962 - How would they make me? - If they had a knife to your throat or something? 63 00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:37,731 - I don't know. - I'd rather go to the grave 64 00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:40,367 than give them the satisfaction of intimidating me. 65 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,536 Good for you. 66 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,438 Happy birthday. 67 00:02:47,275 --> 00:02:48,741 - Yeah. - Here we go. 68 00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:50,743 Okay. 69 00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,349 - Did you make a wish? - No, I'm not wishing for you to have a threesome, Stuart. 70 00:02:56,717 --> 00:02:58,751 - You're so selfish. 71 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:02,555 - Hello? - Hello, Stuey? 72 00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:05,658 - Yeah, who's this? - It's Trudy. 73 00:03:06,059 --> 00:03:08,528 Guess what, I'm coming to Los Angeles. 74 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:53,403 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 75 00:04:06,384 --> 00:04:08,518 Okay, we're set. 76 00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:10,486 And action. 77 00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:15,591 You're enjoying the yogurt. 78 00:04:15,626 --> 00:04:17,059 Okay, could you do that sexier? 79 00:04:18,328 --> 00:04:20,496 No, sexier. 80 00:04:23,166 --> 00:04:24,566 Are you doing your sexy? 81 00:04:24,867 --> 00:04:26,001 - That's your sexy? - Yeah. 82 00:04:26,336 --> 00:04:27,336 Okay, we're gonna leave the sexy for now. 83 00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:28,837 Okay. 84 00:04:29,205 --> 00:04:31,573 We're gonna have this cartoon yogurt monster 85 00:04:32,008 --> 00:04:33,675 and he's gonna chase you around and try to steal your yogurt. 86 00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:36,178 Can we show her the picture of Yogi? 87 00:04:38,214 --> 00:04:39,481 This is the yogurt monster. 88 00:04:39,849 --> 00:04:42,651 Okay, so imagine that Yogi is standing behind you 89 00:04:42,885 --> 00:04:44,152 and you're scared. 90 00:04:46,355 --> 00:04:47,756 Okay, you're not that scared. He's not a rapist. 91 00:04:48,558 --> 00:04:50,725 Once again, please. 92 00:04:51,027 --> 00:04:52,594 That's better. 93 00:04:52,895 --> 00:04:54,596 He's come after you now and you're running. 94 00:04:55,031 --> 00:04:57,465 - Oh, ah. - Yeah, gotta run, gotta run from Yogi. 95 00:04:57,866 --> 00:04:58,933 - Ah, whoa. - Just keep going in a circle. 96 00:04:59,234 --> 00:05:00,435 You're trying to sort of confuse him. 97 00:05:00,702 --> 00:05:02,336 Kind of confuse the monster. 98 00:05:02,371 --> 00:05:04,772 - Please go faster. Is that... - Okay. 99 00:05:05,074 --> 00:05:07,241 Is that really all you can do there? 100 00:05:07,709 --> 00:05:10,511 - I just want to see a real amount of speed here. - Yeah. 101 00:05:10,879 --> 00:05:12,513 And now you've fallen over. 102 00:05:12,548 --> 00:05:14,214 There you go. 103 00:05:14,549 --> 00:05:16,750 And he's coming up and... oh, no, he's got your yogurt. 104 00:05:17,218 --> 00:05:19,186 And you are furious about this and you're shaking your fist at him. 105 00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:20,754 Oh, Yogi. 106 00:05:21,089 --> 00:05:22,923 No speaking. There's no dialog in this. 107 00:05:23,224 --> 00:05:24,792 It's very important that you never speak. 108 00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:28,762 Let's have you on your back and sort of kick your legs up in the air. 109 00:05:28,797 --> 00:05:30,997 Like a cockroach. 110 00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:32,799 If you saw a disgusting cockroach, 111 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,635 you sprayed it with bug spray, and now it's on its back just slowly dying. 112 00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:38,138 Yup, just like a dirty, little cockroach. There you go. 113 00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,323 This is Glenn. 114 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,626 - Hey, Glenn. It's Stuart. - Chicken Wings. 115 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,427 What's going on, buddy? 116 00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,729 Oh, I'll tell you, mate, I'm afraid I've come a-begging. 117 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,964 Got quite an important date coming up 118 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,899 and I need a super hot chick to take with me. 119 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,102 I wondered if you had any sweet-ass honeys you could send my way. 120 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,070 Yeah, I can get you a prostitute. 121 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,307 No, no. I was thinking more a friend or a client. 122 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,009 - Relative. - Yeah. 123 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:18,810 I don't know if you have a sister, 124 00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,446 but if she's half as attractive as you, I'd be interested. 125 00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:22,981 - I'm an only child. - Damn. 126 00:06:23,315 --> 00:06:25,350 - That's a no. - Do you know Alan Randall? 127 00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:26,551 - No. - Yes. 128 00:06:26,585 --> 00:06:27,853 - Who... yeah. - Yeah, no, we... 129 00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:29,755 - no, wait, no. - Not sure I do. 130 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,957 Bigwig in finance. He's a great guy. 131 00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,026 He's having a boat party this Saturday. 132 00:06:34,326 --> 00:06:35,994 Wall-to-wall models and bottles. 133 00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:37,195 I could probably get you an invite. 134 00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:39,030 You've intrigued me, sir. 135 00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:42,467 - Our interests are piqued, sir. - You can put my name on the list. 136 00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:45,703 - Hey, your roommate just showed up. - Oh, hey, Jessica. 137 00:06:45,971 --> 00:06:47,272 - Hi, Jessica. - Hi, Rory. 138 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,174 - Hi, Stuart. - Got to jump off. 139 00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:50,775 - Bye. - Bye. 140 00:06:50,809 --> 00:06:53,878 Boat party. 141 00:06:58,349 --> 00:06:59,750 Sorry, you know you're not coming? 142 00:06:59,785 --> 00:07:01,451 I know, I just love that song. 143 00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:02,787 - Who sings that? - I just made it up. 144 00:07:03,021 --> 00:07:04,555 - You just made that up? - Yeah. 145 00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:06,490 That's... are you... that's one of the best songs I've ever heard. 146 00:07:06,858 --> 00:07:09,026 - What? - Yeah. That should be on the radio. 147 00:07:09,327 --> 00:07:10,160 - Oh, really? Thanks. - Yeah, it's great. 148 00:07:10,195 --> 00:07:11,795 Boat party, boat party. 149 00:07:12,163 --> 00:07:14,164 I came to L.A. to be Meryl Streep, 150 00:07:14,499 --> 00:07:18,602 not to get chased around by some stupid yogurt monster. 151 00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:20,237 Well, you don't become Meryl Streep overnight. 152 00:07:20,505 --> 00:07:22,573 I've been here for 10 years. 153 00:07:22,607 --> 00:07:26,642 Acting just doesn't make me happy anymore. 154 00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:29,746 Constantly being judged and competing 155 00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:33,049 with 100 other girls for some three-line role. 156 00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:35,284 I can't do this anymore. 157 00:07:35,552 --> 00:07:38,188 I'm quitting. 158 00:07:38,222 --> 00:07:40,223 Just... let's take a beat. 159 00:07:40,357 --> 00:07:42,158 Okay? 160 00:07:42,359 --> 00:07:44,527 Come here. 161 00:07:52,703 --> 00:07:54,503 Are you texting? 162 00:07:54,538 --> 00:07:56,939 No. It's just a quick e-mail. 163 00:07:58,908 --> 00:08:01,910 You know, I'm not sure I want this either. 164 00:08:02,245 --> 00:08:05,080 I'm not even sure I know what this is. 165 00:08:05,414 --> 00:08:07,282 - This is just two people... - Having fun. 166 00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:09,184 Yeah, I got it. 167 00:08:09,552 --> 00:08:11,486 Glenn, can you just be honest with me for once? 168 00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:13,622 Is this ever gonna be a real relationship? 169 00:08:13,890 --> 00:08:16,791 I can definitely 170 00:08:17,226 --> 00:08:20,928 foresee a time when we could approach the prospect 171 00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:23,398 of that being an eventuality. 172 00:08:23,599 --> 00:08:25,433 Good-bye, Glenn. 173 00:08:25,468 --> 00:08:28,603 - Wait a sec... - And I really am quitting acting, 174 00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:31,939 so also, you're fired. 175 00:08:32,241 --> 00:08:34,308 Wha... Jessica, come on. 176 00:08:34,342 --> 00:08:36,477 Jessica. 177 00:08:36,611 --> 00:08:38,412 Jessica! 178 00:08:50,425 --> 00:08:52,426 - So what are you gonna do instead of acting? - I have no idea. 179 00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:56,196 - What does Glenn think? - I don't care. I broke up with him. 180 00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:59,166 - Why? - Because he's an asshole. 181 00:08:59,434 --> 00:09:01,402 I am looking for the one. 182 00:09:01,803 --> 00:09:04,971 And the one doesn't just call you when he's feeling horny. 183 00:09:07,008 --> 00:09:09,976 - Okay, I know what you're thinking. - What? 184 00:09:10,011 --> 00:09:12,245 You're wondering if you can still hang out with Glenn. 185 00:09:12,646 --> 00:09:15,348 How can you say that? That's... my allegiance is to you. 186 00:09:15,382 --> 00:09:16,716 Come on. 187 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:19,286 Although he was gonna take me to a boat party over the weekend. 188 00:09:19,653 --> 00:09:22,254 - Oh, Stuart, you are unbelievable. - Oh, come on. 189 00:09:22,656 --> 00:09:23,423 No, no, no. Stop. There's going to be models there. 190 00:09:23,791 --> 00:09:24,557 There's going to be models there. 191 00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:27,159 What is your obsession with models? 192 00:09:27,194 --> 00:09:29,595 I need to date a model within the next three weeks. 193 00:09:29,996 --> 00:09:32,998 Or what happens? Do the kidnappers kill the president's daughter? 194 00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:35,201 No. 195 00:09:35,235 --> 00:09:37,403 All right, if I tell you, you can't tell anyone else. 196 00:09:37,438 --> 00:09:40,772 Oh, who would I tell? Who's interested in your sex life? 197 00:09:40,807 --> 00:09:42,708 - Loads of people. - Oh, yeah? Name three. 198 00:09:42,742 --> 00:09:45,410 Kives, my parents, 199 00:09:45,645 --> 00:09:48,080 the computer world. 200 00:09:48,114 --> 00:09:51,616 - They're really interested? - Yes, they're very... it's a very gossipy environment. 201 00:09:52,018 --> 00:09:53,352 - Wow. - Because they've got nothing else to live for, have they? 202 00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:56,355 Just nerds. Nerds going, "I wonder who Stuart's having sex with?" 203 00:09:57,824 --> 00:09:59,658 Well, listen, all right, I'll tell you. 204 00:10:00,025 --> 00:10:02,394 I used to be kind of awkward when I was at school 205 00:10:02,695 --> 00:10:04,763 and never really knew how to talk to girls. 206 00:10:06,599 --> 00:10:08,867 Even if a girl did talk to me, 207 00:10:09,201 --> 00:10:11,135 it was normally just to fill the time 208 00:10:11,503 --> 00:10:13,404 until someone better came along. 209 00:10:25,017 --> 00:10:26,517 Drink! 210 00:10:26,551 --> 00:10:29,387 Then at college, it was pretty much the same story. 211 00:10:31,189 --> 00:10:33,491 - Ooh, hang on. - Who's next? 212 00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:34,992 I'll have a go, yeah. 213 00:10:35,394 --> 00:10:38,195 I'd do anything to impress some random girl 214 00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:39,930 that I didn't even know the name of. 215 00:10:46,704 --> 00:10:51,008 After college, I got a job at an I.T. company 216 00:10:51,042 --> 00:10:52,542 and I met this girl there. 217 00:10:52,911 --> 00:10:55,678 Her name was Trudy and we started going out. 218 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:56,914 And Trudy was great. 219 00:10:57,215 --> 00:10:59,182 She was really sweet and smart 220 00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:01,885 and we were just sort of in tune with each other. 221 00:11:04,388 --> 00:11:06,989 Like this salesman, Mike Moffet, joined the company... 222 00:11:07,257 --> 00:11:09,992 total alpha male, loud and brash. 223 00:11:10,027 --> 00:11:11,594 You know, all the rest of it. 224 00:11:16,901 --> 00:11:19,435 Trudy and I used to laugh about what a dick he was. 225 00:11:22,505 --> 00:11:26,675 And then, I remember, about three months after Mike joined the company... 226 00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:28,911 Oh, sorry. 227 00:11:36,953 --> 00:11:38,587 So sorry. 228 00:11:38,955 --> 00:11:41,657 That's when I decided to move here, you know? 229 00:11:41,925 --> 00:11:43,124 Reinvent myself. 230 00:11:43,159 --> 00:11:45,293 Stuart 2.0. 231 00:11:45,595 --> 00:11:47,028 Hello, ladies. My name's Stuart. 232 00:11:47,296 --> 00:11:49,264 With me, my good friend Wade. 233 00:11:49,599 --> 00:11:51,532 Hello, ladies. Pleasure. Wade. 234 00:11:51,567 --> 00:11:53,969 Hi, pleasure. Wade. Nice to meet you. 235 00:11:54,003 --> 00:11:56,104 - Are you... - Stuart, Stuart! 236 00:12:00,476 --> 00:12:02,577 I got it, I got it. 237 00:12:02,945 --> 00:12:05,880 So what happened to Mike and Trudy? 238 00:12:06,115 --> 00:12:07,648 They got married 239 00:12:07,983 --> 00:12:09,984 and I haven't seen them since I came here. 240 00:12:10,018 --> 00:12:12,453 But Trudy called me when we were at your birthday 241 00:12:12,788 --> 00:12:15,556 and they're coming out here in about three weeks. 242 00:12:15,824 --> 00:12:18,559 Well, how does the model help? 243 00:12:18,594 --> 00:12:22,229 'Cause I want them to see me with a beautiful woman on my arm, you know? 244 00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:24,531 I want Mike to be really jealous 245 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,202 and I want Trudy to go back thinking she should never have let me go. 246 00:12:28,236 --> 00:12:31,205 I want them to think that I've won at life. 247 00:12:33,975 --> 00:12:35,376 Well, you may hang out with Glenn. 248 00:12:35,676 --> 00:12:39,179 And I hope you find what you're looking for. 249 00:12:39,214 --> 00:12:42,181 - And I hope you find what you're looking for. - Thank you. 250 00:12:42,483 --> 00:12:46,019 - To Jessica 2.0. - Jessica 2.0. 251 00:13:28,201 --> 00:13:30,702 - So how you holding up? - With what? 252 00:13:30,736 --> 00:13:33,438 You know, with you and Jessica. 253 00:13:33,739 --> 00:13:35,340 Oh, yeah. That was too bad. 254 00:13:35,374 --> 00:13:37,275 She really knows her way around a penis. 255 00:13:37,577 --> 00:13:39,311 I want to introduce you to Alan. 256 00:13:39,745 --> 00:13:41,813 Don't look him directly in the eye. He's weird about that. 257 00:13:45,084 --> 00:13:47,785 Alan, I want to introduce you to a friend of mine. 258 00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,253 This is Stuart. 259 00:13:49,588 --> 00:13:51,255 Honor and a pleasure to meet you, sir. 260 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,424 I brought you this gift. 261 00:13:53,759 --> 00:13:55,893 - I don't want that. - A thousand apologies. 262 00:13:56,294 --> 00:14:00,397 Alan, these are some of my friends. This is Madison. 263 00:14:00,766 --> 00:14:02,299 - Madison, pleasure to meet you. - Hi. 264 00:14:02,601 --> 00:14:05,102 - Jasmine. - Jasmine, delighted. 265 00:14:05,270 --> 00:14:06,637 Hi. 266 00:14:06,938 --> 00:14:08,572 And Joan. 267 00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:11,609 - How's it going? - Meet you guys at the bar. 268 00:14:12,877 --> 00:14:15,146 I thought we said we were going to make it all 10s. 269 00:14:15,447 --> 00:14:17,748 That last one was, what, six? 270 00:14:17,949 --> 00:14:19,382 Yeah, sorry. 271 00:14:19,416 --> 00:14:21,718 Go on, boys. Have some fun. 272 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,154 Don't flush your condoms. It fucks up the plumbing. 273 00:14:29,794 --> 00:14:32,663 I guess I feel adrift. 274 00:14:33,131 --> 00:14:35,632 I've spent 10 years telling everyone I'm an actress 275 00:14:35,999 --> 00:14:39,101 and now that I'm not, I don't know what I am. 276 00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:42,372 Or what my purpose in life is. 277 00:14:42,806 --> 00:14:45,642 What led you away from the church to begin with? 278 00:14:45,976 --> 00:14:48,878 Oh, well, I remember when I was a kid, 279 00:14:49,313 --> 00:14:52,148 I asked the pastor how Jesus rose from the dead... 280 00:14:52,482 --> 00:14:54,650 like, physically, how could he do that? 281 00:14:54,985 --> 00:14:57,119 And he sort of just dodged the question. 282 00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,688 And that frustrated me. 283 00:14:58,722 --> 00:15:01,423 Well, sometimes we ask questions when we're young 284 00:15:01,825 --> 00:15:03,859 only to find the answers when we're older. 285 00:15:04,027 --> 00:15:05,861 Yeah. 286 00:15:07,664 --> 00:15:11,333 So how did he rise from the dead? 287 00:15:11,534 --> 00:15:12,901 He just did. 288 00:15:12,935 --> 00:15:14,869 Okay. 289 00:15:15,171 --> 00:15:17,005 Is there any other questions I can answer? 290 00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:19,408 No, I'm good. 291 00:15:25,014 --> 00:15:26,647 - Do you shave your testes? - Every day. 292 00:15:26,682 --> 00:15:29,250 And what is that, is that a wet shave? 293 00:15:29,518 --> 00:15:31,452 - Hi, Glenn. - Hey, baby. 294 00:15:31,687 --> 00:15:33,654 Stop the presses. 295 00:15:34,023 --> 00:15:36,591 - Blimey, who's that? - Tatiana Ludnova. 296 00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:39,227 - Come on, I'll introduce you. - Hang on. 297 00:15:39,528 --> 00:15:41,162 That's the big leagues. 298 00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:42,697 Got any words of advice you could give? 299 00:15:42,731 --> 00:15:45,099 All right, first off, Google her. 300 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,535 - Right. Why... - Got to get intel. 301 00:15:47,569 --> 00:15:49,237 Check her Instagram. 302 00:15:49,404 --> 00:15:51,439 Her with her dogs. 303 00:15:51,707 --> 00:15:53,374 Skiing at New Year. 304 00:15:53,709 --> 00:15:56,043 - You're all set. - Am I? 305 00:15:56,545 --> 00:15:58,612 When you start talking to her, there's three things you need to do... 306 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,413 one, establish a connection, 307 00:16:00,882 --> 00:16:03,516 two, break the touch barrier, and three, sexualize the conversation. 308 00:16:03,752 --> 00:16:05,652 And four, don't be a pussy. 309 00:16:06,054 --> 00:16:07,487 Connection, touch, sexualize, pussy. I've got it. 310 00:16:07,889 --> 00:16:10,858 - Hey, Tatiana, you like dogs, right? - Yes. 311 00:16:11,226 --> 00:16:13,493 - My buddy Stuart loves dogs. - Woof. 312 00:16:13,728 --> 00:16:15,695 You two should talk. 313 00:16:16,063 --> 00:16:18,064 Connection established, break the touch barrier. 314 00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:21,834 - Nice to meet you. - You, too. 315 00:16:22,069 --> 00:16:25,305 Yes, dogs. 316 00:16:25,606 --> 00:16:26,939 When you went skiing at New Year, 317 00:16:27,275 --> 00:16:29,776 what do you do, do you put them in kennels or... 318 00:16:30,077 --> 00:16:31,778 How do you know I went skiing on New Year? 319 00:16:35,582 --> 00:16:37,650 I think I just guessed. 320 00:16:38,085 --> 00:16:40,052 - Or maybe you're psychic. - No, there's no such thing. 321 00:16:40,087 --> 00:16:41,720 - Well, I'm psychic. - Are you really? 322 00:16:42,089 --> 00:16:43,189 There must be some truth to it. There has to be. 323 00:16:43,456 --> 00:16:44,857 - Absolutely. - Right. 324 00:16:45,259 --> 00:16:46,659 - One time my father was flying to Omsk... - Oh, yeah? 325 00:16:46,693 --> 00:16:48,260 ... I had a dream that his plane would crash. 326 00:16:48,461 --> 00:16:49,595 So my father didn't fly. 327 00:16:49,929 --> 00:16:52,564 The next week, the same flight crashed. 328 00:16:52,599 --> 00:16:54,767 Fuck off. That's terrifying. 329 00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,436 Oh, my God. Jeez, you must be... are you okay? 330 00:16:57,604 --> 00:16:59,338 - Yeah. - Wow. 331 00:16:59,372 --> 00:17:03,108 I mean, it's basically a jewelry line for men. 332 00:17:03,142 --> 00:17:05,143 But my main thing is an actor, 333 00:17:05,178 --> 00:17:08,346 - but everybody says that out here, right? - Yeah, totally. 334 00:17:08,647 --> 00:17:10,415 I actually just gave up acting. 335 00:17:10,649 --> 00:17:12,317 Oh, no way. What do you do now? 336 00:17:12,651 --> 00:17:14,986 - That's a good question. - Thank you. 337 00:17:15,321 --> 00:17:18,089 Yeah, just, um, trying to figure it out, I guess. 338 00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:21,492 - Yeah. - You know, I actually went to church earlier. 339 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,095 - But, eh, I don't really think that's for me. - I totally feel you. 340 00:17:25,497 --> 00:17:27,665 You know, I tried Christianity, I tried Buddhism. 341 00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:29,801 Fucked around with Islam for a little bit, 342 00:17:30,135 --> 00:17:32,370 but organized religion, man, not for me. 343 00:17:32,638 --> 00:17:34,505 But I am very spiritual. 344 00:17:34,973 --> 00:17:37,674 I just feel like everything happens for a reason. 345 00:17:37,709 --> 00:17:40,510 - Yeah. - Even this party happened for a reason? 346 00:17:40,545 --> 00:17:43,047 - Yeah. - Well, what about something like 9/11? 347 00:17:43,315 --> 00:17:45,382 No. No, not 9/11. 348 00:17:45,817 --> 00:17:47,784 9/11 didn't even happen the way they said it did. 349 00:17:48,186 --> 00:17:50,420 There's a whole YouTube video on it. It's amazing. 350 00:17:50,989 --> 00:17:53,824 Speaking of YouTube, have you seen the video of the pig waking up from a dream? 351 00:17:53,858 --> 00:17:58,261 - No, I don't think so. - Amazing. 352 00:17:58,529 --> 00:18:00,831 Glenn, sorry to interrupt. 353 00:18:01,165 --> 00:18:03,199 I broke the touch barrier, what was next? 354 00:18:03,501 --> 00:18:05,535 Sexualize the conversation. 355 00:18:05,570 --> 00:18:07,170 How do I do that exactly? 356 00:18:07,538 --> 00:18:09,272 Just find a subtle way to bring sex into the equation. 357 00:18:09,507 --> 00:18:11,507 Pardon me. 358 00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:19,349 Oh, yeah. 359 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,084 Don't you just love the ocean? 360 00:18:21,218 --> 00:18:23,086 Yes, I do. 361 00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:24,854 Very much. 362 00:18:28,057 --> 00:18:30,726 Did you know that Bryan Adams can make a woman come in 30 seconds? 363 00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:33,462 - What? - Sorry, it's just something I heard. 364 00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:37,533 - How? - It's all to do with the fingers, apparently. 365 00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:40,168 Tell me more. 366 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,371 I love your hair. 367 00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:45,140 - May I touch it? - Okay. 368 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:46,909 Okay. 369 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,143 Yeah. 370 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,045 It's beautiful. 371 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:53,282 These layers are so smooth and silky. 372 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:56,251 Okay. Thank you. 373 00:18:56,585 --> 00:18:58,686 - So... so nice talking with you. - You, too. 374 00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,221 - Yeah. - Hey, let me get your digis. 375 00:19:00,589 --> 00:19:01,489 - Um... - Yeah, we should keep conversing. 376 00:19:01,757 --> 00:19:03,190 - This is amazing. - Ooh. 377 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,593 You know what? Why don't you just pop it right in here? 378 00:19:05,761 --> 00:19:07,962 Sure. 379 00:19:09,598 --> 00:19:10,665 - There you go. - Thank you. 380 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:12,834 And I'll call you right now just so you have my number. 381 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,368 - Oh, no. That's not necessary. - It's easier. 382 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,938 Eh, you don't need to do that. 383 00:19:17,272 --> 00:19:19,573 And then this one's sort of doing a come-hither motion. 384 00:19:19,607 --> 00:19:20,975 And then you sort of combine... 385 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:24,345 sorry, excuse me one sec. 386 00:19:24,379 --> 00:19:27,581 - Hello? - Well, that's weird. 387 00:19:27,615 --> 00:19:29,350 Just called England. 388 00:19:29,584 --> 00:19:31,518 Ugh, Verizon, right? 389 00:19:31,786 --> 00:19:33,921 Well, you have my number, 390 00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:36,790 - so, yeah. - Okay. 391 00:19:42,129 --> 00:19:43,797 If I ever meet the person who invented high heels, 392 00:19:44,098 --> 00:19:45,566 I'm taking them outside and shooting them. 393 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,668 Oh, yeah, definitely. Fucking fascist. 394 00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:00,013 Yup, gotta stay hydrated. 395 00:20:01,115 --> 00:20:02,315 Cheers to that. 396 00:20:02,616 --> 00:20:04,951 Super. 397 00:20:13,293 --> 00:20:15,695 - You know, if you want to kiss me, you can. - Pardon? 398 00:20:15,996 --> 00:20:19,832 If you want to kiss me, you can. 399 00:20:24,471 --> 00:20:26,805 I would like to. Please. 400 00:20:28,808 --> 00:20:31,143 - Let me finish this e-mail. - Oh, yeah, sure. 401 00:20:38,818 --> 00:20:41,019 - Ready now? - Yes. 402 00:21:05,377 --> 00:21:07,011 We made out for 20 minutes. 403 00:21:07,046 --> 00:21:08,513 Oh, just a little FYI... 404 00:21:08,847 --> 00:21:11,215 Russian models kiss just like you and I. 405 00:21:11,517 --> 00:21:12,650 You know your kids are gonna be bilingual? 406 00:21:12,884 --> 00:21:13,951 She was probably feeling seasick. 407 00:21:14,352 --> 00:21:15,853 There's no way that you see this girl on dry land. 408 00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:18,188 Wrong again because I asked her, 409 00:21:18,222 --> 00:21:20,691 "Would you like to double-date when Mike and Trudy come into town?" 410 00:21:20,725 --> 00:21:22,793 - And she said, "Da." - Yeah. 411 00:21:23,194 --> 00:21:25,529 - Wait, what does that mean? - It means yes in Russian. 412 00:21:25,730 --> 00:21:27,731 Whoa, yes. 413 00:21:31,536 --> 00:21:33,670 You found your model. This is great. 414 00:21:33,704 --> 00:21:34,938 Thanks, yeah. 415 00:21:34,972 --> 00:21:36,173 By the way, on the subject of dating, 416 00:21:36,907 --> 00:21:38,942 why do I keep getting calls from a bloke asking you out? 417 00:21:39,210 --> 00:21:42,612 Oh, yeah. Pig dream. Oh, he was cute. 418 00:21:43,047 --> 00:21:46,583 I don't have time to waste on the wrong guy who's not gonna be the one. 419 00:21:47,051 --> 00:21:49,953 I think we would've been happier in the Middle Ages. 420 00:21:49,987 --> 00:21:53,355 'Cause in those days, you didn't go on multiple dates looking for the one, you know? 421 00:21:53,390 --> 00:21:56,125 You just married the only person in the village who was single 422 00:21:56,426 --> 00:21:58,728 and hadn't died of plague yet. 423 00:21:58,929 --> 00:22:00,930 - You know? - Yeah. 424 00:22:04,734 --> 00:22:06,735 Impressive combat report, Lieutenant. 425 00:22:07,070 --> 00:22:08,537 No wonder Cutter depends on you. 426 00:22:08,938 --> 00:22:11,673 How much are they paying you to betray your country, McAdams? 427 00:22:12,075 --> 00:22:14,410 Oh, my God. Well, I can't believe my luck. 428 00:22:14,777 --> 00:22:16,078 Is this that film you did? What's it called, "White Venom"? 429 00:22:16,413 --> 00:22:19,848 No, it's "White Venom 2: Cutter's Revenge." 430 00:22:20,083 --> 00:22:20,849 Oh, yeah. Of course. 431 00:22:21,084 --> 00:22:23,118 Where is Frank Cutter? 432 00:22:23,452 --> 00:22:27,322 He's somewhere in between fuck you and go fuck yourself. 433 00:22:27,757 --> 00:22:29,825 - I don't want to watch this. - Oh, no, come on. It's good. 434 00:22:30,259 --> 00:22:32,460 - Turn it off. No, it's stupid. Turn it off. - No, it's good. 435 00:22:32,929 --> 00:22:34,829 - Is this the scene where you get your boobs out? - No, stop it. 436 00:22:34,863 --> 00:22:36,364 - It is, isn't it? - Just turn it off. Turn it off. 437 00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:38,466 - Come on, stop it. - I can't believe it. 438 00:22:38,767 --> 00:22:41,636 - I can't believe it. - Come on. 439 00:22:41,970 --> 00:22:44,572 Stop. Please. 440 00:22:44,806 --> 00:22:46,508 - No. - No. 441 00:22:51,613 --> 00:22:53,213 Well done, madam. 442 00:22:53,615 --> 00:22:55,650 I can see why Lieutenant Cutter admires you so much. 443 00:22:55,784 --> 00:22:58,119 Shut up. 444 00:23:00,789 --> 00:23:03,090 I told Carol you were thinking about making a career switch 445 00:23:03,458 --> 00:23:05,425 and it might be a good idea for you two to sit down 446 00:23:05,827 --> 00:23:08,162 and talk about some potential openings that we have here. 447 00:23:08,463 --> 00:23:09,729 Thank you so much for seeing me. 448 00:23:10,131 --> 00:23:12,499 Yeah, Wade's been singing your praises. 449 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,236 Well, first off, your previous employment. 450 00:23:16,471 --> 00:23:18,372 Yes, um, actress. 451 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,041 And before that? 452 00:23:23,811 --> 00:23:25,812 Uh, for a while, 453 00:23:26,147 --> 00:23:30,316 I worked in information distribution. 454 00:23:30,651 --> 00:23:33,720 And what is information distribution? 455 00:23:33,754 --> 00:23:35,855 It is... 456 00:23:35,890 --> 00:23:38,558 the delivery... 457 00:23:38,693 --> 00:23:41,294 of news... 458 00:23:41,495 --> 00:23:43,896 in paper form 459 00:23:44,164 --> 00:23:46,332 to consumers of all ages. 460 00:23:48,502 --> 00:23:51,170 - You delivered newspapers? - Yes, I did. 461 00:23:51,505 --> 00:23:53,673 And I could ride my bike faster than anyone. 462 00:23:58,344 --> 00:24:01,279 Um, what about any special skills? 463 00:24:01,514 --> 00:24:03,782 Uh, well, fencing. 464 00:24:04,017 --> 00:24:06,018 Um, tap dancing. 465 00:24:06,052 --> 00:24:07,686 Pretty good at that one. 466 00:24:07,854 --> 00:24:09,221 And juggling... 467 00:24:09,255 --> 00:24:11,023 I'm great at. 468 00:24:11,357 --> 00:24:14,125 Uh, our most likely position is in the call center. 469 00:24:14,527 --> 00:24:16,394 So I'm not sure any of those skills would really apply. 470 00:24:16,729 --> 00:24:20,232 Well, I'm sure I would be juggling calls. 471 00:24:20,533 --> 00:24:22,767 Right? 472 00:24:23,068 --> 00:24:25,803 Put down "sense of humor" on that. 473 00:24:26,071 --> 00:24:27,805 - Good energy. - Yeah. 474 00:24:28,073 --> 00:24:29,774 Um, can you talk about your, 475 00:24:30,042 --> 00:24:33,377 um, educational background? 476 00:24:33,578 --> 00:24:35,046 The usual. 477 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,981 High school diploma, et cetera. 478 00:24:37,216 --> 00:24:38,883 Okay. 479 00:24:38,917 --> 00:24:40,752 High school diploma. 480 00:24:41,053 --> 00:24:43,921 Bachelor's degree in what? 481 00:24:48,059 --> 00:24:50,327 I can't believe that I am renting to a college dropout. 482 00:24:50,729 --> 00:24:54,197 A lot of really successful people dropped out of college. 483 00:24:54,232 --> 00:24:56,600 Yeah, did they? Name three. 484 00:24:56,934 --> 00:24:59,870 - Bill Gates. - Right, yeah, Gates, yeah. 485 00:25:00,238 --> 00:25:02,873 - The Facebook guy. - The Facebook guy, right. 486 00:25:03,241 --> 00:25:04,775 - What's his name? - Jesse Eisenberg. 487 00:25:04,942 --> 00:25:06,743 Sure. 488 00:25:07,078 --> 00:25:09,913 And the Olsen twins, so that's four. 489 00:25:09,947 --> 00:25:11,748 - I stand corrected. - Mm-hmm. 490 00:25:12,250 --> 00:25:14,184 All right, well, we'll deal with your career crisis another time, okay? 491 00:25:14,585 --> 00:25:16,419 'Cause I've got my guests arriving any second, 492 00:25:16,453 --> 00:25:19,122 so if you don't mind skedaddling back to the guesthouse. 493 00:25:19,157 --> 00:25:20,757 Well, I hope it goes well. 494 00:25:20,791 --> 00:25:23,459 I might have a little trouble paying the rent this month, but have a fun night. 495 00:25:23,761 --> 00:25:24,960 What's that? Pardon me? 496 00:25:24,995 --> 00:25:27,096 - What did you say? - Oh, I said have a fun night. 497 00:25:27,431 --> 00:25:29,599 No, before that. 498 00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:33,736 I might be a little behind on the rent while I'm finding myself. 499 00:25:35,939 --> 00:25:38,808 - This is not over. - Okay. 500 00:25:39,142 --> 00:25:40,642 - Where should I hide? Where should I go? - What? 501 00:25:40,677 --> 00:25:43,145 - Where should I hide? - You don't need to hide. It's fine. 502 00:25:43,180 --> 00:25:45,114 Just do that little thing that we talked about. 503 00:25:45,315 --> 00:25:46,748 Oh, I got you. 504 00:25:57,660 --> 00:25:59,093 - Welcome to Hollywood. - Hi. 505 00:25:59,462 --> 00:26:01,730 - Hey. - It's been such a long time. 506 00:26:02,164 --> 00:26:03,398 - I know. Great to see you. You look wonderful. - Thank you. 507 00:26:03,433 --> 00:26:05,567 There he is. Bloody hell, you're still tall. 508 00:26:05,835 --> 00:26:07,302 - I am, I am. - Fuck me. 509 00:26:07,470 --> 00:26:10,071 Hey. 510 00:26:10,339 --> 00:26:13,607 - How are you? - Me, I'm great. 511 00:26:13,976 --> 00:26:15,176 - Yeah? - I'm great, thank you, yeah. 512 00:26:15,211 --> 00:26:16,744 What can I say? Living the dream, you know? 513 00:26:17,012 --> 00:26:18,446 Wake up every day, the sun's shining. 514 00:26:18,814 --> 00:26:19,981 See, I think I'd get bored of that. 515 00:26:20,316 --> 00:26:21,682 I'd miss the seasons too much. 516 00:26:22,017 --> 00:26:24,385 And I'd be worried about the skin cancer. 517 00:26:26,688 --> 00:26:29,490 Uh, glass of champagne? 518 00:26:29,825 --> 00:26:31,359 - Oh, please. - There we are. 519 00:26:31,693 --> 00:26:33,160 Actually, I'd prefer a beer, mate, if you've got one. 520 00:26:33,194 --> 00:26:36,597 Okay, um, Budweiser okay? 521 00:26:36,865 --> 00:26:38,432 Have you got any British beers? 522 00:26:38,667 --> 00:26:40,868 Newcastle Brown Ale? 523 00:26:42,036 --> 00:26:43,837 Nah, I'd love that Budweiser. 524 00:26:45,373 --> 00:26:46,740 Okay. 525 00:26:48,843 --> 00:26:51,311 - Here we go. - Cheers. 526 00:26:51,679 --> 00:26:53,713 Hi, I'm Rory, Stuart's assistant. Sorry to interrupt. 527 00:26:54,182 --> 00:26:55,815 - Nah, don't worry about it. - Stuart, I just heard back from Tokyo. 528 00:26:55,850 --> 00:26:57,784 - They love the designs. - Great. 529 00:26:57,818 --> 00:27:00,286 - I finished my coding, I just need you to sign off. - No problem, yeah. 530 00:27:00,688 --> 00:27:02,856 Oh, this is great work you've done under my tutelage. 531 00:27:03,190 --> 00:27:04,424 Um, can I make one suggestion? 532 00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:07,727 - I'd change this from Objective-C to Xcode. - Of course. 533 00:27:07,762 --> 00:27:10,296 That makes it both more efficient and user-friendly. 534 00:27:10,698 --> 00:27:12,031 - Guess so. - Should I work late and update this? 535 00:27:12,533 --> 00:27:14,801 No, it's Saturday night. Get out there, have some fun, all right? 536 00:27:14,835 --> 00:27:17,270 And take this extra $100 bill on me. 537 00:27:17,570 --> 00:27:19,705 Whoa, $100? You're the best boss. 538 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,640 Oh, don't worry. Get out of here, you scamp. 539 00:27:21,875 --> 00:27:24,043 - Nice to meet you. - Bye. 540 00:27:28,081 --> 00:27:30,216 Oh, good kid. Good kid. 541 00:27:30,550 --> 00:27:32,785 - Stuart, I love your house. - Thank you. 542 00:27:35,087 --> 00:27:37,255 They're not very well-made, though, are they? These California homes? 543 00:27:37,724 --> 00:27:40,459 They're just sort of bits of woods with plasterboard stuck on. 544 00:27:40,927 --> 00:27:42,561 - We actually just moved into this Victorian terrace. - Oh, yeah? 545 00:27:42,896 --> 00:27:45,564 It's brick-built, so it's really solid. 546 00:27:46,599 --> 00:27:48,233 And sturdy, isn't it? 547 00:27:50,736 --> 00:27:53,438 Do you ever get lonely living here all by yourself? 548 00:27:53,739 --> 00:27:55,206 I'm sort of rather ashamed to say it, 549 00:27:55,241 --> 00:27:57,608 but I'm very rarely alone. 550 00:27:57,910 --> 00:27:59,877 'Cause since I last saw you, 551 00:28:00,246 --> 00:28:02,647 I'm gaining something of a reputation as a ladies' man. 552 00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:05,483 Flying solo tonight, though, right, mate? 553 00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:08,419 No, no, no, mate. You'll meet my current squeeze shortly. 554 00:28:08,454 --> 00:28:11,021 She tends to be a bit sloppy with the on-time keeping, though, 555 00:28:11,056 --> 00:28:13,290 because she's a professional model. 556 00:28:13,592 --> 00:28:16,160 Sorry, mate, you're seeing a model? 557 00:28:16,462 --> 00:28:17,695 I am indeed. I am indeed, yeah. 558 00:28:18,096 --> 00:28:20,598 In fact, let me just... give me two ticks. 559 00:28:27,272 --> 00:28:29,340 - Hello? - Hey, you, it's Stuart. 560 00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:31,475 - Oh, hi, stranger. - How's it going? 561 00:28:31,943 --> 00:28:34,011 Just wanted to check that you got that text with my address on it. 562 00:28:34,045 --> 00:28:36,913 - You nearby? - No, I'm in Palm Springs. 563 00:28:36,948 --> 00:28:38,748 Why are you in Palm Springs? 564 00:28:38,783 --> 00:28:41,250 You know, I decided to go to Palm Springs with some friends. 565 00:28:41,619 --> 00:28:43,186 I thought I'd be back in time, but I'm not. 566 00:28:43,454 --> 00:28:46,255 But you confirmed the plan. 567 00:28:46,657 --> 00:28:48,458 It's a double date. My friends are here from London. 568 00:28:48,793 --> 00:28:50,226 No, it's okay. We'll do it another time. 569 00:28:50,628 --> 00:28:55,098 There's not really a chance for another time. 570 00:28:55,466 --> 00:28:57,766 I'm so confused because you confirmed the plan. 571 00:28:58,135 --> 00:28:59,502 You sent me that text the other day saying, 572 00:28:59,836 --> 00:29:01,737 "Looking forward to Saturday" with the smiley face. 573 00:29:01,771 --> 00:29:04,140 If you're gonna send a smiley face, it normally implies that you're looking forward 574 00:29:04,475 --> 00:29:06,009 to something and you're gonna be there. 575 00:29:06,343 --> 00:29:08,478 You can't be careless with your emojis. 576 00:29:08,812 --> 00:29:10,613 Ooh, I have to go. There's a conga line. 577 00:29:10,981 --> 00:29:13,181 - Is there? Well, you don't want to miss that. - Bye. 578 00:29:16,019 --> 00:29:18,686 What are the rules? I don't know what the fucking rules are here. 579 00:29:34,369 --> 00:29:36,037 - Hiya. - How's it going? 580 00:29:36,505 --> 00:29:40,041 - You taking a shit? - No, I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend. 581 00:29:40,375 --> 00:29:41,543 - Please. - What happened to your model? 582 00:29:41,577 --> 00:29:43,811 She's gone to Palm Springs to join a conga line. 583 00:29:44,179 --> 00:29:46,247 - Can I come in? - I have a real date, Stuart. 584 00:29:46,515 --> 00:29:47,814 It's too late to cancel now. 585 00:29:48,216 --> 00:29:50,084 No, it's not. People cancel last minute all the time. 586 00:29:50,385 --> 00:29:52,319 - Who's the date with? - Reno. 587 00:29:52,354 --> 00:29:55,122 Reno? Really? You're going on a date... what is he, a gunslinger? 588 00:29:55,524 --> 00:29:57,091 - No, he's... - Where are you meeting, the O.K. Corral? 589 00:29:57,125 --> 00:29:58,192 - He's really interesting. - He's not... 590 00:29:58,893 --> 00:30:00,894 all right, the one is not someone called Reno, okay? 591 00:30:01,229 --> 00:30:02,796 So, please, come on. I need them to see me 592 00:30:03,198 --> 00:30:05,331 with a beautiful woman, you know, so they think I won at life. 593 00:30:05,700 --> 00:30:08,334 - Oh, I'm a beautiful woman? - Yes, obviously. 594 00:30:08,736 --> 00:30:11,905 Mm. That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. 595 00:30:13,374 --> 00:30:14,875 I wanna live rent-free for three months. 596 00:30:15,242 --> 00:30:17,343 - Oh, fuck off. - Oh, well, have fun on your double date. 597 00:30:17,378 --> 00:30:20,180 - Three weeks. - Three months. 598 00:30:20,548 --> 00:30:22,848 - Three months is insane. - Take it or leave it. 599 00:30:23,217 --> 00:30:26,553 All right, I'll take it, but honestly, 600 00:30:27,088 --> 00:30:29,922 - you've got to be so in love with me that it's disgusting. - Oh, it's gonna be real gross. 601 00:30:30,391 --> 00:30:33,526 Good. All right. Well, make sure you wear something sexy, but not slutty. 602 00:30:33,894 --> 00:30:35,628 - Maybe I should choose. - Oh, fuck off. Stuart. 603 00:30:36,063 --> 00:30:38,631 All right, just make sure you pick me up tonight because I want them to... 604 00:30:39,066 --> 00:30:40,800 Yes, you want to trick them into thinking you've won at life. 605 00:30:41,101 --> 00:30:42,568 - I got it. - Great, thank you. 606 00:30:42,603 --> 00:30:45,071 - Off you waddle. - All right. 607 00:30:46,473 --> 00:30:48,407 So just act natural, okay? 608 00:30:51,745 --> 00:30:53,245 Yes, here we are. 609 00:30:53,580 --> 00:30:55,481 - You still in I.T.? - Yeah. 610 00:30:55,915 --> 00:30:58,217 Yeah, but they moved our company. We're in Wolverhampton now. 611 00:30:58,251 --> 00:30:59,751 Oh, okay. How's Wolverhampton? 612 00:31:00,086 --> 00:31:01,953 - It's a shit hole. - Is it? 613 00:31:02,255 --> 00:31:03,822 It's actually not a shit hole, mate. 614 00:31:04,257 --> 00:31:06,057 Believe or not, Wolverhampton was the first British city 615 00:31:06,426 --> 00:31:08,393 to introduce automated traffic lights. 616 00:31:08,761 --> 00:31:10,561 It just sort of blew up from there, really. 617 00:31:12,632 --> 00:31:14,465 I can't believe you're dating a model. 618 00:31:14,767 --> 00:31:16,334 Gosh, I'm gonna look so ordinary. 619 00:31:18,137 --> 00:31:20,639 Hi, everybody. 620 00:31:22,108 --> 00:31:24,676 I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting. 621 00:31:25,111 --> 00:31:27,512 Oh, don't worry. I will forgive you if I reward you with a kiss. 622 00:31:27,946 --> 00:31:30,248 - Ah, lipstick. Don't want to ruin that. - No. 623 00:31:30,449 --> 00:31:33,251 Mike, Trudy, charmed. 624 00:31:33,285 --> 00:31:34,818 I've heard so much about you. 625 00:31:34,853 --> 00:31:36,787 Oh, and you. 626 00:31:37,122 --> 00:31:38,922 A glass of champers, honeybee? 627 00:31:38,957 --> 00:31:42,527 Oh, yes, please, sugar bear. 628 00:31:42,794 --> 00:31:44,528 So how did you guys meet? 629 00:31:44,796 --> 00:31:46,496 How did we meet? 630 00:31:46,798 --> 00:31:49,133 - Therein lies a tale. - Such a good story. 631 00:31:49,500 --> 00:31:51,702 - Yeah, do you want to tell it? - You tell it so well. 632 00:31:51,736 --> 00:31:54,437 - Do I? Do I or are you better at it? - Yes. 633 00:31:54,806 --> 00:31:56,674 No, you're so much better at it than I... 634 00:31:56,975 --> 00:31:58,776 - Lipstick. - Lipstick, yeah. 635 00:31:59,144 --> 00:32:03,580 - Um, well, we were at Sandra... - Bullock's. 636 00:32:03,981 --> 00:32:07,284 - Sandy Bullock's Halloween party. - Party. 637 00:32:07,652 --> 00:32:09,886 - Yeah. It was fun. - And, uh, yeah, lovely affair. 638 00:32:10,154 --> 00:32:12,755 - I was a slice of pizza. - Yeah. 639 00:32:13,023 --> 00:32:15,492 - And remember? - I was, uh, I was Thor. 640 00:32:15,826 --> 00:32:16,959 - You were like a hot dog. - I was Thor. 641 00:32:17,327 --> 00:32:19,028 - Yup. - And she managed to get my number. 642 00:32:19,362 --> 00:32:21,164 And basically stalked me for... what was it? 643 00:32:21,665 --> 00:32:24,500 - Six months, sweet cheeks? - Oh, I don't think it was that long. 644 00:32:24,835 --> 00:32:26,268 - Wasn't it? - Melon ball. 645 00:32:26,303 --> 00:32:29,572 I was dating around also, you know? 646 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:31,307 - Yeah, yeah. - A lot of options. 647 00:32:31,675 --> 00:32:33,309 - She wasn't a slut. - No, definitely not a slut. 648 00:32:33,677 --> 00:32:35,211 - No, no, no, no. - I just... a lot of callers. 649 00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:39,348 - Yeah, and I won through in the end. - Yup. 650 00:32:39,549 --> 00:32:41,417 - Oh, lipstick. - Yeah. 651 00:32:41,451 --> 00:32:43,652 That is a lovely story. Actually, speaking of parties, 652 00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:45,421 didn't you say we were gonna be hitting a party 653 00:32:45,455 --> 00:32:48,023 or were you not able to get that sorted? 654 00:32:48,358 --> 00:32:49,925 Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, no, definitely. 655 00:32:50,359 --> 00:32:52,828 We're going to one of the most exclusive VIP parties in town. 656 00:32:52,862 --> 00:32:56,397 Yes, well, perhaps a quick toast before we get going. 657 00:32:56,432 --> 00:33:00,836 To a memorable night in the City of Angels. 658 00:33:01,037 --> 00:33:02,704 Cheers. 659 00:33:02,739 --> 00:33:04,740 Let's hope we don't get carjacked. 660 00:33:07,209 --> 00:33:08,876 No. 661 00:33:32,567 --> 00:33:34,268 This place sturdy enough for you, Mike? 662 00:33:39,106 --> 00:33:40,374 - What are you doing? - Holding your hand. 663 00:33:40,408 --> 00:33:43,009 - Why? - That's what lovers do. 664 00:33:43,411 --> 00:33:46,613 Guys, that's Alan. He's the host of the party. 665 00:33:47,081 --> 00:33:49,015 Bloody great bloke. Although, you're not supposed to look him in the eye. 666 00:33:49,450 --> 00:33:51,718 He's just got this weird thing, so just don't look him in his eye. 667 00:33:51,753 --> 00:33:55,488 Alan, I just wanted to introduce you to some dear friends of mine. 668 00:33:55,923 --> 00:33:58,124 Mike and Trudy. This is my beautiful girlfriend Jessica. 669 00:33:58,159 --> 00:34:00,626 - Hello. - Hi. 670 00:34:01,095 --> 00:34:03,629 - Fantastic view. - Yeah, thank you so much for a wonderful party. 671 00:34:03,964 --> 00:34:04,864 - Thank you so much. - Thanks for having us. 672 00:34:05,266 --> 00:34:07,200 - Enjoy the evening. - Thank you, we will. 673 00:34:07,467 --> 00:34:09,102 - All right. - Have fun. 674 00:34:09,436 --> 00:34:12,037 - Thank you, sir. - See who I was with? 675 00:34:12,306 --> 00:34:14,139 - Hot, right? - Oh, yeah. 676 00:34:14,608 --> 00:34:15,874 Young enough to be your granddaughters, though, weren't they? 677 00:34:16,276 --> 00:34:17,810 Yeah, well, they're friends of my granddaughter's. 678 00:34:17,844 --> 00:34:21,814 But all of my granddaughter's friends are super hot. 679 00:34:27,788 --> 00:34:30,588 - Here we are. Champagne. - Thank you. 680 00:34:30,957 --> 00:34:32,390 - All free of charge. - Ooh, yeah. 681 00:34:32,425 --> 00:34:33,892 Hey, I was just saying to Jessica 682 00:34:34,294 --> 00:34:35,794 that this party must have cost more than our wedding. 683 00:34:36,129 --> 00:34:37,930 Yeah, but only because we got a discount. 684 00:34:38,331 --> 00:34:41,300 My brother's a catering manager at a Holiday Inn Express. 685 00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:44,836 Oh, my God. 686 00:34:45,137 --> 00:34:46,705 Is that Nicole Kidman? 687 00:34:48,974 --> 00:34:51,776 - It's Nicole Kidman. She's so talented. - Yes. 688 00:34:52,311 --> 00:34:54,813 Yes, she is. Yes, she is. And, you know, just charming and down-to-earth. 689 00:34:54,847 --> 00:34:56,348 Wait, you know Nicole Kidman? 690 00:34:56,682 --> 00:34:59,451 Oh, you know, we're in the same circles. 691 00:34:59,485 --> 00:35:01,752 She's more my friend than yours. 692 00:35:02,154 --> 00:35:03,387 - Well, we're always arguing about that. - Yeah. 693 00:35:03,421 --> 00:35:05,289 I love her films. 694 00:35:05,657 --> 00:35:07,658 Is there any way that you could introduce us? 695 00:35:07,993 --> 00:35:09,460 I would literally die if I met her. 696 00:35:09,862 --> 00:35:13,597 - No, I don't want to bother her. - Stuart, could you? 697 00:35:13,999 --> 00:35:16,467 I'm worried that she'll feel like an animal in a zoo, you know? 698 00:35:16,501 --> 00:35:18,301 - Yeah. - Showing her off. 699 00:35:18,336 --> 00:35:20,103 I'm sorry, mate, what's the point of being friends with someone 700 00:35:20,505 --> 00:35:22,906 if you can't introduce them to other people? 701 00:35:24,542 --> 00:35:26,844 Fair point. Yeah. 702 00:35:26,878 --> 00:35:30,781 I'll go and say hi. 703 00:35:31,015 --> 00:35:33,550 - Yeah? - Yeah. 704 00:35:43,227 --> 00:35:45,495 Hey. Hey, Nicole. 705 00:35:45,863 --> 00:35:48,198 Hi. Don't be alarmed, you're not in danger. 706 00:35:52,369 --> 00:35:54,136 This is weird. When I was a kid, 707 00:35:54,405 --> 00:35:55,805 I really wasn't very good with girls 708 00:35:55,839 --> 00:35:58,441 and I could certainly never get with girls, you know, as beautiful as you. 709 00:35:58,876 --> 00:36:01,411 And then when I was older, I managed to get this great girlfriend Trudy 710 00:36:01,445 --> 00:36:04,781 and she got stolen away by this complete ball bag, 711 00:36:05,215 --> 00:36:08,284 um, Mike, and both of them are here now tonight over there. 712 00:36:08,885 --> 00:36:10,998 I'm trying to impress them. 713 00:36:10,999 --> 00:36:12,153 Just wondering if there's any chance you could do me a favor? 714 00:36:12,222 --> 00:36:13,488 Mm, what's the favor? 715 00:36:13,890 --> 00:36:15,657 What about if you just pretend that you knew me 716 00:36:15,691 --> 00:36:18,693 and, you know, pretend we're having a conversation and maybe you're laughing. 717 00:36:18,728 --> 00:36:20,862 - All right, sure. - Okay. 718 00:36:21,231 --> 00:36:23,865 I don't know what that was. 719 00:36:23,900 --> 00:36:25,834 I know you're an actress, but that seemed a bit, kind of, eh. 720 00:36:25,868 --> 00:36:28,937 Maybe a bit more lively? And we're laughing, Nicole, we're laughing. 721 00:36:31,707 --> 00:36:33,274 Don't overdo it. Don't overdo it. 722 00:36:33,743 --> 00:36:35,911 And is there any chance that I could just bring them over here 723 00:36:36,245 --> 00:36:38,480 - and just say hi? - Sure. 724 00:36:38,748 --> 00:36:40,281 - Is that okay? - Yeah. 725 00:36:40,749 --> 00:36:43,517 - Are you doing an Australian accent? - No, this is how I speak. 726 00:36:43,919 --> 00:36:45,553 That's how you speak. Okay, I've never seen any of your films. 727 00:36:45,587 --> 00:36:48,589 - Oh. - Guys, over you come. 728 00:36:50,792 --> 00:36:53,127 - Thank you so much. Thank you. - Yeah. 729 00:36:53,429 --> 00:36:55,496 This is Mike. This is Trudy. 730 00:36:55,530 --> 00:36:57,465 - And, of course, you know Jessica. - Hey, Nicole. 731 00:36:57,499 --> 00:36:59,867 And I have to say Trudy is maybe your biggest fan. 732 00:37:00,268 --> 00:37:02,402 - Oh, really? - It's a pleasure to meet you. 733 00:37:02,771 --> 00:37:04,939 - Oh, that's so nice. - I'm an even bigger fan. 734 00:37:05,273 --> 00:37:07,174 - Nice to meet you, too. - Wow. 735 00:37:07,442 --> 00:37:08,876 Handshake bonus. 736 00:37:09,277 --> 00:37:10,878 We are gonna get out of your hair now, 737 00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:13,780 but listen, I think you should give me a call. I think you owe me lunch. 738 00:37:14,115 --> 00:37:17,150 - And I want that dress back, you. - Okay. 739 00:37:17,185 --> 00:37:20,153 - All right, see you later. Thank you. - Bye-bye. 740 00:37:21,589 --> 00:37:24,157 Oh, what about that? What about that? 741 00:37:24,492 --> 00:37:27,627 I'm shaking. I can't believe that just happened. 742 00:37:27,828 --> 00:37:29,596 - Wow. - Yeah, yeah. 743 00:37:29,630 --> 00:37:31,898 Shit. Mike, we should've got a picture. 744 00:37:32,332 --> 00:37:33,867 Stuart, can you ask her if we can get a picture with her? 745 00:37:34,134 --> 00:37:36,235 You don't need a picture, do you? 746 00:37:36,637 --> 00:37:38,170 - I think the memories are better. - Yeah. 747 00:37:38,639 --> 00:37:41,207 Oh, no. It would blow everyone's mind back home if I had a picture. 748 00:37:41,341 --> 00:37:43,275 Will it? 749 00:37:43,477 --> 00:37:45,311 Nicole. 750 00:37:45,813 --> 00:37:48,080 - Thank you so much for doing it. Sorry again. - You're welcome. 751 00:37:48,348 --> 00:37:49,715 I just... the only thing is... 752 00:37:50,150 --> 00:37:53,219 Nicole, the only thing is they're asking for a photograph. 753 00:37:53,487 --> 00:37:55,054 - Oh. - Yeah. 754 00:37:55,522 --> 00:37:59,625 If I do a photo, then other people might ask and I just want to be low-key. 755 00:37:59,993 --> 00:38:01,293 I understand. I understand completely. 756 00:38:01,528 --> 00:38:02,294 - Yeah. - Great. 757 00:38:02,529 --> 00:38:03,529 What if I gave you $30? 758 00:38:03,563 --> 00:38:05,564 I don't think so. 759 00:38:05,832 --> 00:38:08,099 40? $40? And that's tax-free. 760 00:38:08,501 --> 00:38:09,735 I mean, the tax man doesn't need to know about that. 761 00:38:10,036 --> 00:38:11,036 - That's cash in hand. - I just... 762 00:38:11,070 --> 00:38:13,739 I'm at a party and I... I mean, if I do a photograph, 763 00:38:14,173 --> 00:38:15,908 - then maybe... - You can take one picture and I can just say, 764 00:38:15,942 --> 00:38:18,710 "There's no more pictures." Then they know. 765 00:38:19,012 --> 00:38:21,079 Go get them. Let's do the photo. 766 00:38:21,347 --> 00:38:22,980 - Hey. - Good. 767 00:38:23,349 --> 00:38:24,782 What a souvenir this will be to take back home. 768 00:38:25,184 --> 00:38:26,651 - Oh, thank you. - There we go. All right. 769 00:38:27,019 --> 00:38:29,020 - All right. Good. Thank you. - Thank you. 770 00:38:29,522 --> 00:38:32,424 - I can't believe you're friends with Stuart. - I know, it does seem crazy. 771 00:38:32,858 --> 00:38:34,926 - But true. - How do you guys know each other? 772 00:38:37,029 --> 00:38:39,396 They used to date. 773 00:38:39,431 --> 00:38:41,032 Wow. Really? 774 00:38:41,066 --> 00:38:43,300 - Didn't we? - Yeah. 775 00:38:43,535 --> 00:38:45,836 - Yup. - Wow. 776 00:38:46,204 --> 00:38:49,139 We'll never understand why you chose me over her. 777 00:38:49,407 --> 00:38:51,175 - I mean, you are beautiful. - Yes. 778 00:38:51,543 --> 00:38:53,710 Well, it all worked out for everyone in the end. 779 00:38:54,212 --> 00:38:57,081 In the end. In the end. But it was pretty rough back there for you, wasn't it? 780 00:38:57,382 --> 00:38:59,516 She got pretty emotional. 781 00:38:59,884 --> 00:39:02,553 It was difficult and I apologize still for that. 782 00:39:02,887 --> 00:39:04,588 - I got over it, though. - You did. She did. 783 00:39:04,622 --> 00:39:07,023 Eventually, but there was a lot of tears and, uh... 784 00:39:07,058 --> 00:39:10,894 No, I got over it. And now I look back and I'm like, "What was I thinking?" 785 00:39:11,228 --> 00:39:12,762 Yeah, we weren't... she's right. 786 00:39:13,097 --> 00:39:15,197 - I mean... - We weren't really right together. 787 00:39:15,565 --> 00:39:16,264 We weren't really right together. Except in the bedroom. 788 00:39:16,566 --> 00:39:18,200 Then things were pretty crazy. 789 00:39:18,602 --> 00:39:21,103 - Honestly, the redheaded woman will go berserk. - No, no, no. 790 00:39:21,404 --> 00:39:23,338 - It never got that far. - Got the flamed hair. 791 00:39:23,773 --> 00:39:25,307 - No, no. - It didn't go that far. It never got to the bedroom. 792 00:39:25,742 --> 00:39:27,876 No, it was just clothes off in the kitchen and we... 793 00:39:28,244 --> 00:39:29,845 - I'm gonna say good-bye now. - Yeah. 794 00:39:29,879 --> 00:39:31,713 - Thank you very much, yes. - Bye. 795 00:39:31,747 --> 00:39:34,349 Buh-bye. Buh-bye. Buh-bye. 796 00:39:34,383 --> 00:39:36,318 Oh, Christ. 797 00:39:36,785 --> 00:39:38,820 Probably gonna get a call from her later begging me to come over. 798 00:39:45,428 --> 00:39:47,329 You and Stuart seem like the perfect match. 799 00:39:47,597 --> 00:39:50,297 Oh, cool. Thanks. 800 00:39:50,766 --> 00:39:53,034 I know you're not supposed to think about what might have been, 801 00:39:53,068 --> 00:39:56,303 but, you know, I see him with that house and all these fancy friends 802 00:39:56,605 --> 00:39:59,641 and, oh, it just makes you think. 803 00:39:59,675 --> 00:40:02,343 - Sorry, I hope I'm not being too... - Oh, no, no, no, no. 804 00:40:02,778 --> 00:40:05,679 It's fine. Honestly, I'm sure he'd love to hear you say that. 805 00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,287 Bloody hell, mate. 806 00:40:13,788 --> 00:40:15,856 The women in your world, I don't know how you get anything done. 807 00:40:16,124 --> 00:40:17,491 Yeah, it is tricky. 808 00:40:17,526 --> 00:40:19,460 And this is not even one of Alan's best parties. 809 00:40:19,494 --> 00:40:22,796 - Honestly, I'd only give this C-plus. - A "C-plus"? 810 00:40:23,131 --> 00:40:24,497 Yeah, and that's just 'cause I like Alan. 811 00:40:24,532 --> 00:40:26,299 Well, I've got to come back out here sometime. 812 00:40:26,634 --> 00:40:27,934 Do you wanna swap lives for a week? 813 00:40:27,969 --> 00:40:31,538 I can shag supermodels and you could do I.T. sales in Wolverhampton. 814 00:40:34,142 --> 00:40:36,376 - Isn't it so pretty? - It's gorgeous. 815 00:40:36,644 --> 00:40:39,312 - What's that? - Here you go, darling. 816 00:40:41,182 --> 00:40:42,782 Thanks. 817 00:40:43,150 --> 00:40:45,518 - You look cold. - Oh, yeah, a little. 818 00:40:47,154 --> 00:40:49,755 - There you are. - Aww, thank you. 819 00:40:50,023 --> 00:40:51,724 Hey, cheers for this, guys. 820 00:40:51,758 --> 00:40:53,560 - Hey, you're welcome. Of course, yeah. - Thank you. 821 00:40:53,827 --> 00:40:56,095 You've made it. 822 00:41:11,678 --> 00:41:16,948 ♪ There's a girl that's been on my mind ♪ 823 00:41:17,183 --> 00:41:19,117 ♪ All the time ♪ 824 00:41:19,352 --> 00:41:21,720 ♪ Su-Su-Sussudio ♪ 825 00:41:23,723 --> 00:41:25,424 ♪ Oh, oh... ♪ 826 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,328 Wait, wait, wait. They were fooled, right? 827 00:41:30,730 --> 00:41:33,531 - We're not celebrating unduly? - We definitely fooled them. 828 00:41:34,033 --> 00:41:36,667 Are you kidding? They absolutely thought we were madly in love. 829 00:41:37,036 --> 00:41:39,037 - I could tell. - Well, I'm not a trained actor, 830 00:41:39,404 --> 00:41:40,972 but it's not hard faking being in love with you 831 00:41:41,006 --> 00:41:42,340 when you're looking this beautiful. 832 00:41:43,075 --> 00:41:46,510 See, if you said stuff like that on real dates, you would be fine. 833 00:41:46,911 --> 00:41:50,214 I'm not this relaxed on real dates, though, you know? 834 00:41:50,582 --> 00:41:53,150 It's just so much easier having a fake girlfriend. 835 00:41:53,418 --> 00:41:54,685 Why am I only discovering this now? 836 00:41:55,053 --> 00:41:56,687 I could have had a fake girlfriend all through school. 837 00:41:56,722 --> 00:42:00,190 I could have lost my virginity to my fake girlfriend when I was at college. 838 00:42:00,591 --> 00:42:02,159 Hey, you could've finally had that threesome you want 839 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,261 with your fake girlfriend and her roommate. 840 00:42:04,562 --> 00:42:07,330 Oh, that would've been amazing. 841 00:42:07,598 --> 00:42:09,666 I'm just about to be brilliant. 842 00:42:09,901 --> 00:42:11,869 I'm... 843 00:42:12,237 --> 00:42:13,637 I've figured out what you should do with your life. 844 00:42:13,671 --> 00:42:15,705 - What? - You should go back to college. 845 00:42:15,740 --> 00:42:17,474 What? No, I can't go back to college. 846 00:42:17,508 --> 00:42:19,643 - I'm too old. - No, you're never too old, 847 00:42:19,910 --> 00:42:22,712 you know, there's mature students. You go back, and I'll tell you, 848 00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:24,414 you get a decent education, the world's your oyster. 849 00:42:24,749 --> 00:42:28,117 Can I just, like, go back? No, it's too expensive. 850 00:42:28,619 --> 00:42:30,687 Well, according to our little deal, I'm already paying for your room and board, 851 00:42:30,721 --> 00:42:32,422 so you don't gotta worry about that. 852 00:42:35,926 --> 00:42:38,394 I'm gonna do it. 853 00:42:38,628 --> 00:42:41,697 I'm going to college! Whoo! 854 00:42:41,965 --> 00:42:44,033 And I'm paying for her accommodation. 855 00:42:49,306 --> 00:42:53,141 ♪ I'll say the word, oh ♪ 856 00:42:53,443 --> 00:42:55,344 ♪ Su-Su-Sussudio ♪ 857 00:42:57,447 --> 00:43:00,816 - ♪ I'll say the word, oh ♪ - Thank you. 858 00:43:01,117 --> 00:43:04,286 ♪ Su-Su-Sussudio ♪ 859 00:43:05,288 --> 00:43:07,122 ♪ I'll say the word, oh... ♪ 860 00:43:07,456 --> 00:43:09,724 - Oh, well, this is me. - Oh, nice place. 861 00:43:09,959 --> 00:43:11,392 Thank you. I had fun. 862 00:43:11,427 --> 00:43:13,261 We should do it again sometime. 863 00:43:13,296 --> 00:43:15,931 Absolutely, but, uh, are you gonna invite me in for a nightcap? 864 00:43:16,299 --> 00:43:18,934 Oh, it's probably not a good idea. 865 00:43:18,968 --> 00:43:21,036 My landlord is freakishly tall, 866 00:43:21,070 --> 00:43:23,504 super creepy, and he's kind of a dick, so... 867 00:43:23,972 --> 00:43:27,208 Is he or did you eat all of his chocolate-covered pretzels 868 00:43:27,242 --> 00:43:29,310 and then not make any effort to replace them? 869 00:43:29,645 --> 00:43:31,646 No, he's just kind of a dick. Night. 870 00:43:46,161 --> 00:43:47,995 How did you get in here? 871 00:43:51,666 --> 00:43:54,801 - Well, good night. - Good night. Yeah. 872 00:43:55,170 --> 00:43:57,937 And thank you again for doing all that. 873 00:43:57,972 --> 00:43:59,639 - Yeah, of course. - I appreciate it. 874 00:43:59,841 --> 00:44:01,508 It was fun. 875 00:44:03,544 --> 00:44:05,679 - Thank you. - Oh, you're welcome. 876 00:44:15,522 --> 00:44:17,656 Well, good night. 877 00:44:17,858 --> 00:44:19,392 Good night. 878 00:44:47,820 --> 00:44:49,754 Are you gonna leave the glasses on for this? 879 00:44:50,223 --> 00:44:52,391 Yeah, I won't be able to see anything otherwise. 880 00:44:52,725 --> 00:44:55,193 actually, no, I think the glasses should come off. 881 00:44:55,594 --> 00:44:57,495 - Let's just... we'll just put these here. - All right. 882 00:44:57,763 --> 00:44:59,364 - Okay. - Well, don't put them there 883 00:44:59,732 --> 00:45:01,166 'cause we might roll while... and crush them. 884 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,768 - Oh, okay, well... - Thank you. 885 00:45:04,069 --> 00:45:06,538 - Okay, happy? - Good, I'm happy. 886 00:45:06,572 --> 00:45:08,406 - Are you happy? - Yup. 887 00:45:11,577 --> 00:45:13,611 - Should I get a condom? - Yeah. 888 00:45:13,646 --> 00:45:15,413 Yeah? All right. 889 00:45:17,783 --> 00:45:18,983 Jack be nimble... 890 00:45:19,251 --> 00:45:20,918 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 891 00:45:20,953 --> 00:45:23,154 I hit my toe on that. 892 00:45:23,188 --> 00:45:26,490 - Are those lady weights? - No, they're just regular. 893 00:45:26,524 --> 00:45:27,658 Yup. 894 00:45:31,129 --> 00:45:33,030 Bibbity-boppity... 895 00:45:33,065 --> 00:45:35,766 Forgot they were a pair. 896 00:45:35,934 --> 00:45:37,468 Yup. 897 00:45:39,103 --> 00:45:41,738 All right. Here we go, yeah. 898 00:45:42,106 --> 00:45:43,340 - This is it. - Hey there. All right. 899 00:45:43,608 --> 00:45:45,008 - This is it. - Okay. 900 00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:46,944 All right. Here we go. 901 00:45:50,815 --> 00:45:53,083 Can't... 902 00:45:53,451 --> 00:45:55,452 Talk amongst yourself. 903 00:45:57,455 --> 00:45:58,788 - All right, there... oh, there we are. - There it is. 904 00:45:58,990 --> 00:46:00,590 There it is. 905 00:46:00,791 --> 00:46:01,958 Which... 906 00:46:03,494 --> 00:46:05,195 Which side is it? 907 00:46:05,496 --> 00:46:07,464 Ooh, put your glasses back on. 908 00:46:07,798 --> 00:46:09,131 You look like a giant prawn. 909 00:46:09,466 --> 00:46:12,635 A giant prawn? Is that your pillow talk? 910 00:46:12,970 --> 00:46:15,304 All right. Let's get this on. 911 00:46:15,639 --> 00:46:18,407 Whoa, whoa. Where... what is this condom? 912 00:46:18,675 --> 00:46:20,009 - What language is this? - It's Turkish. 913 00:46:20,477 --> 00:46:22,645 - Well, where the hell did you buy a Turkish condom? - Online. 914 00:46:22,980 --> 00:46:24,646 - Why? - Yeah, get them online. 915 00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,915 - Oh, my God. Were they cheap? - No, they weren't cheap. 916 00:46:27,350 --> 00:46:29,784 - No, they weren't. 15 bucks for 80. - Oh, my God, Stuart. 917 00:46:30,186 --> 00:46:32,654 - What? - We're not using a cheap Turkish condom. 918 00:46:32,855 --> 00:46:34,890 Well, that sounds racist. 919 00:46:35,325 --> 00:46:37,493 You really think the way to have sex with me is by calling me a racist? 920 00:46:37,860 --> 00:46:39,728 Sorry, but my conscience doesn't take time off 921 00:46:40,030 --> 00:46:41,663 just 'cause I've got an erection. 922 00:46:41,998 --> 00:46:43,565 I would like an American condom, please. 923 00:46:43,833 --> 00:46:45,834 Oh, for fuck's sake. 924 00:46:52,207 --> 00:46:54,442 All right, what about this? Durex? 925 00:46:54,844 --> 00:46:56,244 You had an American condom this whole time? 926 00:46:56,278 --> 00:46:58,079 It's made in China. Do we trust the Chinese? 927 00:46:58,347 --> 00:47:00,314 We happy with those fellas? 928 00:47:00,682 --> 00:47:02,683 - Oh, come on. Let's just... - Okay. 929 00:47:05,354 --> 00:47:06,787 - Oh, um, no. - What? 930 00:47:07,189 --> 00:47:10,258 - That's gonna stay on. - No, the bra's gotta come off. 931 00:47:10,692 --> 00:47:11,825 - What are you talking about? - No, I just... I don't want you to, uh... 932 00:47:12,194 --> 00:47:13,761 I don't want you to see my boobs. That's weird. 933 00:47:14,062 --> 00:47:16,163 - What? - You are my landlord. 934 00:47:16,364 --> 00:47:17,898 It's just too intimate. 935 00:47:18,066 --> 00:47:19,867 We're having sex. 936 00:47:20,201 --> 00:47:22,169 Have you not noticed? It's gonna get pretty intimate. 937 00:47:22,537 --> 00:47:24,404 No, it's... no, that's a deal breaker. 938 00:47:24,706 --> 00:47:27,708 That's crazy. I need full access to the body. 939 00:47:28,043 --> 00:47:29,276 I need to be able to run amuck on it. 940 00:47:29,310 --> 00:47:31,778 Well, you're definitely not "running amuck." 941 00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,314 This is crazy. You're a very demanding lover. 942 00:47:34,748 --> 00:47:37,050 You can touch one and then I will see how I feel about it. 943 00:47:40,588 --> 00:47:42,021 - No. - Well, then I don't know what this is, then. 944 00:47:42,256 --> 00:47:43,523 - I don't... I'm... - Stuart. 945 00:47:43,891 --> 00:47:45,559 - I can't focus. - Maybe this is a bad idea. 946 00:47:45,926 --> 00:47:46,826 - No, this is a good idea. - I'm losing my mojo. 947 00:47:47,094 --> 00:47:48,160 - This is a good idea. - No, I just... 948 00:47:48,395 --> 00:47:50,597 Look at that. Isn't that nice? 949 00:47:50,898 --> 00:47:52,865 Yeah, just, like, talk dirty or something. 950 00:47:53,233 --> 00:47:56,168 - What do you want me to say? - I don't know. 951 00:47:56,604 --> 00:47:59,872 - Just be creative. - There's so many rules prancing around this place. 952 00:48:00,296 --> 00:48:02,230 Yeah, well, you're lucky to be here, pal. 953 00:48:02,498 --> 00:48:04,566 So just give me some filth. 954 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,668 Okay, here it comes. 955 00:48:06,969 --> 00:48:08,370 - This is it. - Okay. 956 00:48:08,804 --> 00:48:10,705 This is it. The dirty... the dirty... is that what you wanted? 957 00:48:11,140 --> 00:48:13,007 - Mm-hmm. Yeah. - Yeah? You got it. You got it. 958 00:48:20,649 --> 00:48:22,349 I'm gonna... 959 00:48:22,651 --> 00:48:25,086 I'm gonna do things to you 960 00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:27,989 that your mother wouldn't approve of. 961 00:48:28,023 --> 00:48:30,792 If she came in here now, 962 00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,360 she'd be like, "Jessica, what are you doing? 963 00:48:33,395 --> 00:48:36,963 Get off that young man. We're a God-fearing family. 964 00:48:37,332 --> 00:48:38,965 - We don't approve"... - Okay, can we not do Mom? 965 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,967 - Let's take away... yeah. - You don't want the mother? Okay. 966 00:48:41,369 --> 00:48:44,771 - I wanna... I wanna fuck... can I say fuck? - Sure. 967 00:48:45,039 --> 00:48:47,874 Yeah? I wanna fuck you 968 00:48:47,909 --> 00:48:50,411 in the traditional manner. 969 00:48:50,712 --> 00:48:53,013 But also... but take the penis... 970 00:48:53,047 --> 00:48:54,581 mine... 971 00:48:55,016 --> 00:48:58,451 and just whack it against the soles of your feet. 972 00:48:58,485 --> 00:49:00,520 And then poke it in between the toes. 973 00:49:00,855 --> 00:49:01,855 - No, no. - Peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo. 974 00:49:02,223 --> 00:49:03,757 - Maybe not feet. Let's just... - Okay, not feet. 975 00:49:04,192 --> 00:49:05,458 - Come off of that. - Bring it up... I'm bringing up the leg. 976 00:49:05,860 --> 00:49:08,361 I'm gonna bring it higher onto the thigh. 977 00:49:08,529 --> 00:49:10,963 Knock, knock. 978 00:49:10,997 --> 00:49:12,565 Who's there? 979 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,367 Mr. Penis... 980 00:49:16,869 --> 00:49:18,604 with a delivery for you... 981 00:49:18,871 --> 00:49:22,207 of some delicious hot cock. 982 00:49:24,577 --> 00:49:26,678 - You can't laugh. - I'm sorry. 983 00:49:27,079 --> 00:49:28,880 - I'm sorry. - I don't know what the rules are here. 984 00:49:29,081 --> 00:49:30,415 Oh, Stuart. 985 00:49:30,750 --> 00:49:33,284 Just kiss me and let's get this over with. 986 00:49:33,318 --> 00:49:35,386 - "Get this over with"? Really? - Yes. Mm-hmm. 987 00:49:49,901 --> 00:49:52,303 Jessica. I mean, of course. 988 00:49:52,604 --> 00:49:55,105 Right under your nose all along. 989 00:49:55,140 --> 00:49:56,574 So romantic. 990 00:49:56,608 --> 00:49:58,142 It's like "When Harry Met Sally." 991 00:49:58,443 --> 00:49:59,877 Eh, more like "When Harry Potter Met Sally." 992 00:50:00,078 --> 00:50:02,246 So walk us through it. 993 00:50:02,281 --> 00:50:03,847 What were you wearing? 994 00:50:04,249 --> 00:50:07,117 - Well, I had a blue shirt... - Hey, sorry I'm late, guys. 995 00:50:07,152 --> 00:50:10,553 I was making a kick-ass risotto and you have to keep stirring. 996 00:50:10,922 --> 00:50:13,257 Ror, Stuart made love with Jessica. 997 00:50:13,591 --> 00:50:15,292 Well, actually, they rubbed their clitorises together. 998 00:50:15,626 --> 00:50:17,795 Wait, you slept with Jessica? How could you do that? 999 00:50:18,263 --> 00:50:20,497 - You know that her and I have a thing. - What thing? 1000 00:50:20,531 --> 00:50:23,933 "What thing"? There's, like, sexual tension every time we're in a room together. 1001 00:50:24,268 --> 00:50:25,968 You do know that sexual tension 1002 00:50:26,304 --> 00:50:28,571 is not just you being tense in a room with someone? 1003 00:50:28,806 --> 00:50:31,073 Oh, that makes sense. 1004 00:50:31,108 --> 00:50:33,576 Yeah, 'cause otherwise, I'd have sexual tension with my father. 1005 00:50:33,944 --> 00:50:36,413 - Wow. - So do you want to date her? 1006 00:50:36,447 --> 00:50:39,782 Do I want to date her? 1007 00:50:40,117 --> 00:50:41,884 - Great questions of wonder. - Yeah. 1008 00:50:42,286 --> 00:50:43,752 You know, I haven't thought that far ahead, really. 1009 00:50:44,288 --> 00:50:46,131 It was just the moment took us, you know, and there was... 1010 00:50:46,132 --> 00:50:46,952 there was a passion, 1011 00:50:46,957 --> 00:50:48,490 certainly, in the boudoir. 1012 00:50:48,792 --> 00:50:50,693 - Hey. - And we get on well, you know? 1013 00:50:51,128 --> 00:50:52,862 - You've seen that. - It's so much sexual tension. 1014 00:50:53,163 --> 00:50:54,430 It's not just about sexual tension, though. 1015 00:50:54,798 --> 00:50:56,298 I think there's also something else, you know? 1016 00:50:56,633 --> 00:50:57,899 There's an ease. I'm relaxed around her. 1017 00:50:58,301 --> 00:50:59,768 I'm not trying so hard. I'm not going into my shtick. 1018 00:50:59,803 --> 00:51:01,837 - Yeah. - And she saw your tiny penis. 1019 00:51:02,138 --> 00:51:03,872 My penis is of normal size, all right? 1020 00:51:04,341 --> 00:51:05,607 - I will put it up against any man's. - Wouldn't be the first time. 1021 00:51:05,642 --> 00:51:08,544 Don't cheapen what I've got here, please. 1022 00:51:08,812 --> 00:51:10,078 - Kives. - Yeah, right? 1023 00:51:10,112 --> 00:51:11,947 So what was the first kiss like? 1024 00:51:11,981 --> 00:51:14,682 Was it like falling into a warm bath? 1025 00:51:14,984 --> 00:51:16,517 Yeah. It was a little bit, yeah. 1026 00:51:18,321 --> 00:51:20,255 - I am so excited about this. - You need to calm down. 1027 00:51:20,522 --> 00:51:22,357 Oh, no. It's romance. 1028 00:51:36,204 --> 00:51:38,773 This is a delicate matter. 1029 00:51:39,007 --> 00:51:40,908 The truth is, bro, 1030 00:51:41,209 --> 00:51:44,912 I've sort of developed feelings for Jessica. 1031 00:51:46,348 --> 00:51:50,817 Which I did act upon 1032 00:51:51,019 --> 00:51:53,320 last eve. 1033 00:51:53,521 --> 00:51:55,222 You mean you fucked her? 1034 00:51:55,523 --> 00:51:56,490 I wouldn't put it like that. 1035 00:51:56,724 --> 00:51:58,959 No, I would say that we, um, 1036 00:51:59,194 --> 00:52:01,528 intercoursed... 1037 00:52:01,729 --> 00:52:02,662 sexually. 1038 00:52:03,030 --> 00:52:05,164 I assumed you were fucking her already. 1039 00:52:05,366 --> 00:52:06,533 Me, no. No. 1040 00:52:08,035 --> 00:52:11,304 Well, thanks for not calling last eve. 1041 00:52:11,539 --> 00:52:13,940 'Cause I was with... 1042 00:52:16,043 --> 00:52:16,943 that. 1043 00:52:18,745 --> 00:52:20,380 She used to do porn. 1044 00:52:20,547 --> 00:52:21,514 She used to... 1045 00:52:21,748 --> 00:52:23,516 - Do porn. - Porn. 1046 00:52:23,717 --> 00:52:24,583 I thought you said porn. 1047 00:52:24,618 --> 00:52:26,719 Good for her. 1048 00:52:40,233 --> 00:52:42,468 Knock, knock. Hey. 1049 00:52:42,736 --> 00:52:44,937 I got you a little gift. 1050 00:52:44,971 --> 00:52:48,373 Um, just to help you with your college application. 1051 00:52:48,408 --> 00:52:51,243 - Oh, thank you. - Of course. 1052 00:52:51,411 --> 00:52:53,345 That's so sweet. 1053 00:52:53,579 --> 00:52:55,414 Good. 1054 00:52:55,581 --> 00:52:59,184 And, uh, also, 1055 00:52:59,419 --> 00:53:02,454 in other news, um, 1056 00:53:02,755 --> 00:53:06,091 I have been thinking... 1057 00:53:07,793 --> 00:53:09,961 I think we should start dating. 1058 00:53:10,295 --> 00:53:12,931 Yeah, I spoke to Glenn. He's cool with it. 1059 00:53:13,265 --> 00:53:14,666 He's already having sex with a porn star. 1060 00:53:15,100 --> 00:53:17,936 And, you know, we get on well. We got a good rapport, you know? 1061 00:53:18,303 --> 00:53:20,104 We sort of basically hang out all the time anyway. 1062 00:53:20,439 --> 00:53:21,606 And, you know, we've made love. 1063 00:53:21,941 --> 00:53:23,640 And that seemed to go well. 1064 00:53:24,109 --> 00:53:25,943 I'm not saying there's not improvements to be made, you know? 1065 00:53:25,978 --> 00:53:28,145 I got a few ideas for next time. 1066 00:53:28,180 --> 00:53:30,881 But, you know, I really like you, I think you would like me. 1067 00:53:31,116 --> 00:53:32,850 It's just... why not? 1068 00:53:36,121 --> 00:53:37,955 Um... 1069 00:53:39,657 --> 00:53:41,391 wow, that's a lot to absorb. 1070 00:53:41,793 --> 00:53:44,862 Yes, sorry. I got a bit gabbley because I was nervous, but... 1071 00:53:46,531 --> 00:53:47,698 I mean, what do you think? 1072 00:53:47,732 --> 00:53:49,800 Um... 1073 00:53:52,804 --> 00:53:54,237 You know, Stuart, 1074 00:53:54,639 --> 00:53:56,873 last night was not something I was expecting 1075 00:53:57,141 --> 00:53:59,476 or even thinking about. 1076 00:53:59,676 --> 00:54:01,544 And I had fun. I did. 1077 00:54:03,147 --> 00:54:05,815 Um... but I don't really think now 1078 00:54:06,183 --> 00:54:08,051 is a good time for me to be in a relationship. 1079 00:54:08,486 --> 00:54:11,354 I just have so much shit in my life to figure out. 1080 00:54:11,822 --> 00:54:13,723 Absolutely. No, I'm saying I can help you with that shit, you know? 1081 00:54:13,991 --> 00:54:15,958 And we can take it slow 1082 00:54:16,326 --> 00:54:19,695 and maybe just start with a first date. 1083 00:54:21,097 --> 00:54:23,332 I just... I really wanna figure out this college thing 1084 00:54:23,366 --> 00:54:26,235 and I don't really think 1085 00:54:26,537 --> 00:54:30,039 I'm in the right head space to date anyone. 1086 00:54:32,108 --> 00:54:34,843 Is it okay if we just stay friends for now? 1087 00:54:38,014 --> 00:54:39,581 Of course, yes, totally. 1088 00:54:40,050 --> 00:54:42,951 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I didn't want this to seem heavy or anything. 1089 00:54:43,353 --> 00:54:44,486 I just... yeah, I just thought I'd put it out there. 1090 00:54:44,687 --> 00:54:46,421 But, yeah, absolutely. 1091 00:54:49,191 --> 00:54:51,660 - I will let you get back to your work. - Okay. 1092 00:54:51,694 --> 00:54:53,862 And, uh, see you around. 1093 00:54:54,196 --> 00:54:55,864 All right, I'll see you around. 1094 00:55:02,237 --> 00:55:03,837 Main thing is the friendship's still there. 1095 00:55:03,872 --> 00:55:06,107 Yeah, that's the thing I was most worried about jeopardizing, 1096 00:55:06,542 --> 00:55:08,209 - the friendship. - And she didn't say never. 1097 00:55:08,243 --> 00:55:11,812 Yeah, I think it's just about giving her enough time to, 1098 00:55:11,846 --> 00:55:14,315 - you know, get her head together. - Yeah. 1099 00:55:14,716 --> 00:55:18,119 I think the bedrock to any great relationship 1100 00:55:18,153 --> 00:55:19,753 is the friendship. 1101 00:55:20,221 --> 00:55:22,456 And you just water it and make sure it gets enough sun 1102 00:55:22,724 --> 00:55:23,523 and it's gonna blossom. 1103 00:55:23,558 --> 00:55:25,960 - You think so? - I know so. 1104 00:55:26,227 --> 00:55:27,861 Well, I hope so. 1105 00:55:28,096 --> 00:55:30,430 Your friend's right. 1106 00:55:30,599 --> 00:55:32,600 Yeah. 1107 00:55:32,901 --> 00:55:34,401 Sorry, I was eavesdropping. 1108 00:55:34,769 --> 00:55:37,237 - Which is... that's rude. - No. No, not at all. 1109 00:55:37,572 --> 00:55:38,838 You know what? I eavesdrop all the time. 1110 00:55:38,872 --> 00:55:40,307 - It's all right. 1111 00:55:40,608 --> 00:55:41,874 I don't usually just sit at bars 1112 00:55:42,243 --> 00:55:43,210 listening to strangers' conversations, 1113 00:55:43,611 --> 00:55:45,278 I just, um, I'm locked out of my building 1114 00:55:45,746 --> 00:55:48,281 and I'm waiting for my sister to bring the extra key, so... 1115 00:55:48,749 --> 00:55:50,550 - That happened to me once. You know what I did? - Hmm? 1116 00:55:50,585 --> 00:55:52,451 I buried a spare key in my front yard. 1117 00:55:52,753 --> 00:55:54,353 How did you remember where it was, though? 1118 00:55:54,387 --> 00:55:57,456 It's under the only yellow flower. 1119 00:56:00,594 --> 00:56:02,194 - That's a good idea. - It is, right? 1120 00:56:02,229 --> 00:56:04,497 I'm gonna steal that. The idea. 1121 00:56:04,531 --> 00:56:06,298 - Not my key, though. - Not your key, though. 1122 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:09,168 The idea. Just the idea. 1123 00:56:09,603 --> 00:56:12,971 - Hey, by any chance do you live alone? - Um, yeah, I do. 1124 00:56:13,306 --> 00:56:14,607 Have you ever thought about what you would do 1125 00:56:15,108 --> 00:56:16,609 if you fell over and hurt yourself and couldn't call for help? 1126 00:56:16,643 --> 00:56:19,345 - Every day. - You know, me and my buddy Stuart here, 1127 00:56:19,613 --> 00:56:20,879 we started a system. 1128 00:56:21,148 --> 00:56:23,549 I text him AG, means all good, 1129 00:56:23,583 --> 00:56:25,751 every two hours so he knows I'm okay. 1130 00:56:26,119 --> 00:56:28,553 He doesn't get that text, he sends some help. 1131 00:56:28,821 --> 00:56:30,756 Can I get in on that or... 1132 00:56:31,157 --> 00:56:34,292 - Oh, definitely. Let me get your number. - Okay. 1133 00:56:34,661 --> 00:56:38,596 Listen, I, uh, I just remembered I gotta take off. 1134 00:56:38,631 --> 00:56:40,032 - Oh, okay. - Yeah. 1135 00:56:40,299 --> 00:56:41,599 No, no, you stay. Please. 1136 00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,068 Look after this lady. Wait for her sister to get here. 1137 00:56:44,470 --> 00:56:45,870 - He never leaves a damsel in distress. - Yeah. 1138 00:56:46,305 --> 00:56:48,406 - Gentleman. All right, thanks for talking. - Yeah. 1139 00:56:48,807 --> 00:56:50,141 - Yeah, I'll see you soon. Nice to meet you. - Bye. 1140 00:56:50,342 --> 00:56:51,909 See ya, buddy. 1141 00:56:52,344 --> 00:56:55,180 - Well, I'm gonna scooch on over. - Yeah, scooch down here. 1142 00:56:57,316 --> 00:56:59,349 - I'm Wade, by the way. - Kate. Hi. 1143 00:56:59,685 --> 00:57:01,986 - Kate, nice to meet you. - You, too. 1144 00:57:02,353 --> 00:57:03,988 - Um, so here's a good question... - Yeah. 1145 00:57:04,355 --> 00:57:07,058 ... um, let's say you can only have three items 1146 00:57:07,092 --> 00:57:08,826 - in your earthquake kit, right? - Mm. 1147 00:57:09,194 --> 00:57:11,495 - What do you choose? - One, flashlight. Two, iodine tablets. 1148 00:57:11,830 --> 00:57:13,731 - Three, whistle. - Whistle. 1149 00:57:13,765 --> 00:57:14,798 Yeah. 1150 00:57:15,032 --> 00:57:17,201 - This is weird. - It's so weird. 1151 00:57:19,370 --> 00:57:20,870 - To whistles. - To whistles. 1152 00:57:20,905 --> 00:57:23,307 To whistles. 1153 00:57:23,341 --> 00:57:26,443 - So how long have you been in this area? - About five years. 1154 00:57:26,477 --> 00:57:29,946 - Oh, okay. - Yeah, I looked it up and they have a really low crime rate. 1155 00:57:29,980 --> 00:57:31,915 It's the lowest. It's the lowest. 1156 00:57:32,216 --> 00:57:34,117 - It's like tri-county. - Exactly. 1157 00:57:34,518 --> 00:57:36,052 - Tri-county. - We must have read the same website. 1158 00:57:36,353 --> 00:57:38,254 I'm sure we did. I'm sure we did. 1159 00:58:34,744 --> 00:58:37,378 - Sorry, did you want to watch something else or... - Oh, no. This is good. 1160 00:58:37,612 --> 00:58:39,413 - This is all right? - Yeah. 1161 00:58:53,595 --> 00:58:55,296 That's it. I've got to say something. 1162 00:58:55,597 --> 00:58:57,097 We've been working for three hours here 1163 00:58:57,432 --> 00:58:59,833 and you haven't said anything about my new hairstyle. 1164 00:59:00,101 --> 00:59:01,602 Oh, sorry, mate. 1165 00:59:01,803 --> 00:59:02,903 It looks good. It does. 1166 00:59:03,271 --> 00:59:05,272 Thank you. That's all I wanted to hear. 1167 00:59:16,983 --> 00:59:19,518 Stuart. 1168 00:59:19,552 --> 00:59:21,687 Stuart. 1169 00:59:26,126 --> 00:59:27,893 - What's wrong? Everything all right? - No. 1170 00:59:28,328 --> 00:59:30,762 I was working on my college application because it's due tomorrow 1171 00:59:30,797 --> 00:59:33,932 and my computer froze and I think I just lost my entire essay. 1172 00:59:34,300 --> 00:59:36,702 And I don't think I saved it the last time I went through it 1173 00:59:36,969 --> 00:59:38,169 and I don't know what to do. 1174 00:59:38,504 --> 00:59:39,371 Calm down, calm down. It's all right. 1175 00:59:39,639 --> 00:59:41,239 I'll take a look at it. 1176 00:59:41,641 --> 00:59:44,309 It is completely frozen. I didn't do anything. 1177 00:59:46,813 --> 00:59:48,447 I think you got some corrupted files. 1178 00:59:48,815 --> 00:59:50,414 Do you think you can get my work back? 1179 00:59:50,449 --> 00:59:52,317 Hopefully. 1180 00:59:56,322 --> 00:59:59,390 I saw you going into that new bar on Sunset the other night. 1181 01:00:04,496 --> 01:00:05,830 Yeah. 1182 01:00:05,864 --> 01:00:07,832 Just had a drink there. 1183 01:00:09,735 --> 01:00:11,669 Was it a date? 1184 01:00:14,539 --> 01:00:16,741 Um... 1185 01:00:17,008 --> 01:00:18,709 yeah, kind of. 1186 01:00:22,180 --> 01:00:23,847 So when you said you weren't 1187 01:00:23,882 --> 01:00:26,616 in the right space to... 1188 01:00:27,051 --> 01:00:29,686 to be dating, what you meant was you don't want to date me. 1189 01:00:37,028 --> 01:00:39,028 Stuart, I'm sorry. 1190 01:00:41,732 --> 01:00:43,433 I wasn't asking you to marry me, you know? 1191 01:00:43,734 --> 01:00:47,203 I just said come out on one date. 1192 01:00:47,237 --> 01:00:50,373 Why did you not give me that? 1193 01:00:54,912 --> 01:00:56,279 It's not you. 1194 01:00:56,313 --> 01:00:58,948 I just have, like... 1195 01:01:01,051 --> 01:01:02,885 You know, I... 1196 01:01:04,754 --> 01:01:07,056 I just need to know... 1197 01:01:07,391 --> 01:01:09,892 why you don't want to date me. 1198 01:01:13,062 --> 01:01:16,131 - Stuart. - I'm getting too old to keep fucking up. 1199 01:01:16,165 --> 01:01:17,733 Please. 1200 01:01:22,405 --> 01:01:24,005 You're a really good guy. 1201 01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:26,041 You are. 1202 01:01:26,275 --> 01:01:28,476 But honestly, I... 1203 01:01:28,510 --> 01:01:30,745 I think 1204 01:01:30,779 --> 01:01:34,282 that you're just competing with the past, you know? 1205 01:01:34,616 --> 01:01:37,452 And I can't get involved with someone... 1206 01:01:38,955 --> 01:01:41,323 who's 35 and... 1207 01:01:43,492 --> 01:01:46,527 still obsessed with sitting at the popular table. 1208 01:01:46,762 --> 01:01:48,763 I can't. 1209 01:01:49,130 --> 01:01:51,666 I don't know. I guess I just have this image 1210 01:01:51,934 --> 01:01:54,469 in my head of 1211 01:01:54,937 --> 01:01:58,439 who I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with, you know? 1212 01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:00,441 The one. My one. 1213 01:02:04,645 --> 01:02:08,182 And I'm really sorry, but I just don't think it's you. 1214 01:02:14,489 --> 01:02:16,623 Well, thanks for being honest. 1215 01:02:19,827 --> 01:02:21,027 Is that your essay? 1216 01:02:21,328 --> 01:02:23,162 - Oh, my gosh, yeah. - Yeah, great. 1217 01:02:23,464 --> 01:02:25,599 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 1218 01:02:25,633 --> 01:02:27,634 - Should be okay. - Yeah. 1219 01:02:32,139 --> 01:02:34,540 I, uh... 1220 01:02:34,841 --> 01:02:36,842 think maybe you should move out. 1221 01:02:37,177 --> 01:02:39,645 Oh, you don't think we can get past this? 1222 01:02:41,648 --> 01:02:43,149 I think it would be too difficult. 1223 01:02:43,484 --> 01:02:46,219 You know, you'll be around and dating. 1224 01:02:48,822 --> 01:02:50,589 I know I'd help you with the rent and that still stands. 1225 01:02:50,991 --> 01:02:52,625 - No, no, you don't have to do that. - No, please. 1226 01:02:52,859 --> 01:02:54,793 We made that deal. It's fine. 1227 01:02:55,161 --> 01:02:56,829 Take as long as you need to find somewhere else. 1228 01:03:00,667 --> 01:03:02,200 Good night. 1229 01:03:21,487 --> 01:03:23,855 - Here are my keys. - Oh, thanks. 1230 01:03:25,858 --> 01:03:27,725 - Bye, Rory. - Bye, Jessica. 1231 01:03:30,829 --> 01:03:32,063 Okay, bye. 1232 01:03:33,632 --> 01:03:34,933 Yup, bye. 1233 01:03:46,378 --> 01:03:48,379 - You okay? - I will be. 1234 01:04:55,660 --> 01:04:57,460 - This is Glenn. - Hey, it's Stuart. 1235 01:04:57,734 --> 01:04:59,969 Chicken Wings. What's going on, buddy? 1236 01:05:00,437 --> 01:05:02,972 Just sort of feeling like I need to let my hair down. 1237 01:05:03,407 --> 01:05:05,975 I was wondering if there's any fun parties this weekend. 1238 01:05:06,010 --> 01:05:08,311 Alan's having another boat party. Want me to put you on the list? 1239 01:05:08,745 --> 01:05:09,913 Yeah, that would be good. Thank you. 1240 01:05:10,281 --> 01:05:11,914 Do you mind if I bring a couple of friends? 1241 01:05:12,248 --> 01:05:13,582 - Are they cool? - Yeah. 1242 01:05:13,917 --> 01:05:14,950 Why not? All right. 1243 01:05:15,251 --> 01:05:18,220 - Oh, oh! - You okay, you okay? 1244 01:05:18,422 --> 01:05:20,989 There we go. 1245 01:05:32,768 --> 01:05:35,003 Hello. Hello. 1246 01:05:35,438 --> 01:05:37,072 You've never seen "The Poseidon Adventure"? Oh, it's great. 1247 01:05:37,273 --> 01:05:38,373 Stuart. 1248 01:05:38,607 --> 01:05:40,708 Oh, hello, sir. 1249 01:05:41,110 --> 01:05:43,045 - Thank you for having me back. - Haven't seen you lately. 1250 01:05:43,479 --> 01:05:45,780 No, I haven't really been in the party mood if I'm honest, sir. 1251 01:05:45,815 --> 01:05:48,115 I sort of split up with a girl. 1252 01:05:48,451 --> 01:05:50,184 Plenty of more beavers in the river. 1253 01:05:50,453 --> 01:05:51,986 Well, maybe, yeah. 1254 01:05:52,020 --> 01:05:53,922 I quite like this beaver. 1255 01:05:54,289 --> 01:05:58,059 Don't get hung up on any one woman. Not worth it. 1256 01:05:58,461 --> 01:06:01,429 - You know what pussy is spelled backwards? - No. 1257 01:06:01,629 --> 01:06:04,131 - "Wise up." - Oh. 1258 01:06:04,466 --> 01:06:06,334 - Funny, right? - Yeah, it's good. It's clever. 1259 01:06:06,801 --> 01:06:09,971 Glenn, lost the sunglasses again if you could just pick them up. 1260 01:06:12,007 --> 01:06:15,576 Stuart, look after my friends Brooke and Riley for a bit. 1261 01:06:15,610 --> 01:06:17,878 Where'd you see them last, Alan? 1262 01:06:19,347 --> 01:06:21,181 - Hello, ladies. - Hi. 1263 01:06:21,649 --> 01:06:24,150 And then she said, "That's not why it's called a poop deck." 1264 01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:34,327 Just one second, ladies. 1265 01:06:38,832 --> 01:06:40,833 - Take care of it. - Yeah. 1266 01:06:43,237 --> 01:06:45,005 One second. 1267 01:06:45,395 --> 01:06:47,463 Hey, buddy, this is a little awkward, 1268 01:06:47,497 --> 01:06:51,332 but Alan has a slight issue with your friends. 1269 01:06:51,568 --> 01:06:52,968 What do you mean? 1270 01:06:53,002 --> 01:06:55,003 It's just not really the vibe 1271 01:06:55,271 --> 01:06:56,939 he's going for at these parties. 1272 01:06:57,239 --> 01:06:59,207 But Alan said they can hang out below deck 1273 01:06:59,576 --> 01:07:01,610 just so they're not in everybody's faces so much. 1274 01:07:03,580 --> 01:07:06,147 - "Below deck"? - Yeah, but you can hang out up here. 1275 01:07:06,415 --> 01:07:08,116 I think Riley likes you. 1276 01:07:10,619 --> 01:07:12,153 - All right. - Yeah. 1277 01:07:12,455 --> 01:07:13,654 - You good? - Sure, yeah, of course. 1278 01:07:13,922 --> 01:07:16,924 Thanks, buddy. 1279 01:07:17,259 --> 01:07:19,794 I have the funniest story from Cabo. 1280 01:07:20,096 --> 01:07:20,962 You're gonna lose your shit. 1281 01:07:21,263 --> 01:07:23,431 Two years ago, I go down there... 1282 01:07:30,739 --> 01:07:32,840 Alan, sorry to interrupt, mate. 1283 01:07:33,141 --> 01:07:34,642 I just wanted to ask you something. 1284 01:07:34,676 --> 01:07:38,278 Glenn said you've got an issue with my friends being up on deck. 1285 01:07:38,647 --> 01:07:41,115 - I don't care about your friends. - No? Oh, that's good. 1286 01:07:41,149 --> 01:07:42,849 Right, I thought there must have been a miscommunication 1287 01:07:43,151 --> 01:07:44,485 'cause it would seem hypocritical 1288 01:07:44,952 --> 01:07:47,521 given that you're a misogynistical wanker who's gonna die alone. 1289 01:07:48,856 --> 01:07:51,191 Funny, right? 1290 01:07:52,627 --> 01:07:55,762 Glenn, get your friend the fuck off my boat. 1291 01:07:56,131 --> 01:07:58,732 - He's not my friend. - No, he's not my friend. 1292 01:07:59,166 --> 01:08:00,934 He's just a toady, really, that I just use to try and get girls. 1293 01:08:01,301 --> 01:08:03,670 All right, well, I'll show myself out. 1294 01:08:03,971 --> 01:08:06,172 Cheers, mate. See you later. 1295 01:08:13,647 --> 01:08:15,881 How in the fuck you get us thrown off a boat full of models? 1296 01:08:16,183 --> 01:08:18,050 Sorry, you know, I just... 1297 01:08:18,084 --> 01:08:21,354 I want you to know this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me... 1298 01:08:21,388 --> 01:08:22,955 and I can't walk. 1299 01:08:34,378 --> 01:08:36,412 When I started at college, I was really excited. 1300 01:08:36,713 --> 01:08:40,149 But then a couple of months in, 1301 01:08:40,550 --> 01:08:43,319 I just... I started feeling adrift again. 1302 01:08:43,720 --> 01:08:45,255 I kept thinking, like, "Why am I even doing this? 1303 01:08:45,722 --> 01:08:48,758 Where am I going and what am I gonna do with the rest of my life?" 1304 01:08:51,060 --> 01:08:52,828 But then I was in class this one day 1305 01:08:53,229 --> 01:08:56,999 and this professor was giving this fascinating talk... 1306 01:08:57,033 --> 01:09:00,002 All your actions must have universality. 1307 01:09:00,311 --> 01:09:02,479 ... and I realized 1308 01:09:02,813 --> 01:09:04,581 I loved that I knew something 1309 01:09:04,615 --> 01:09:06,749 I didn't know an hour before. 1310 01:09:07,151 --> 01:09:10,553 I was just enjoying being there in that moment. 1311 01:09:10,855 --> 01:09:13,357 I wasn't worried about the future. 1312 01:09:13,524 --> 01:09:15,225 I was just there. 1313 01:09:17,661 --> 01:09:20,897 So that's just good enough for me right now. 1314 01:09:21,081 --> 01:09:24,083 That's exactly how I feel when I rock climb. 1315 01:09:24,317 --> 01:09:26,585 Wow, you rock climb? 1316 01:09:26,820 --> 01:09:28,254 - I do. - Cool. 1317 01:09:28,488 --> 01:09:30,823 - Jessica. - Oh. 1318 01:09:30,991 --> 01:09:33,225 Hi. 1319 01:09:33,493 --> 01:09:35,394 Oh, this is Marion and Paul. 1320 01:09:35,428 --> 01:09:38,897 - And this is Josh. - Glenn. This is Brooke. 1321 01:09:39,166 --> 01:09:40,533 - Hi. - Hi. 1322 01:09:40,867 --> 01:09:42,668 So what are you up to? How's it going? 1323 01:09:42,869 --> 01:09:45,171 Just been working 24/7. 1324 01:09:45,505 --> 01:09:47,473 Oh, I finally got a parking spot on P2. 1325 01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:50,242 - Oh, wow. Great. - It's awesome. 1326 01:09:50,377 --> 01:09:52,978 So how's Stuart doing? Have you seen him? 1327 01:09:53,012 --> 01:09:55,247 - Who cares? He's a fucking asshole. - Whoa. 1328 01:09:55,648 --> 01:09:58,049 - I thought you guys were best buds. - Fuck that dude. 1329 01:09:58,484 --> 01:10:01,619 He disrespected Alan on his own boat and he calls me a "toady"? 1330 01:10:01,954 --> 01:10:03,955 I looked it up. It's some British slang. 1331 01:10:04,290 --> 01:10:06,524 He basically called me a sycophantic little bitch. 1332 01:10:06,793 --> 01:10:08,226 People in this town. 1333 01:10:08,610 --> 01:10:10,144 I gotta go, though. 1334 01:10:10,612 --> 01:10:12,613 Alan's by himself at a club, so I got to meet up with him, 1335 01:10:12,948 --> 01:10:14,482 but, uh, see you down the road. 1336 01:10:14,650 --> 01:10:16,116 Okay. 1337 01:10:29,164 --> 01:10:32,799 - Hello? - Hey, it's Stuart. Is it a bad time? 1338 01:10:33,168 --> 01:10:35,902 No, no. Not at all. I'm just making breakfast. 1339 01:10:36,404 --> 01:10:39,506 We had an incredible time and we loved Jessica. 1340 01:10:39,740 --> 01:10:41,608 She's adorable. 1341 01:10:41,909 --> 01:10:44,644 Oh, yeah. No, she is. She is. 1342 01:10:44,879 --> 01:10:48,714 Um, that's actually the reason I'm calling. 1343 01:10:48,949 --> 01:10:51,117 Uh... 1344 01:10:51,152 --> 01:10:53,686 she's not my girlfriend. 1345 01:10:53,954 --> 01:10:55,588 Oh, I'm sorry. 1346 01:10:55,823 --> 01:10:57,623 You guys broke up? 1347 01:10:57,825 --> 01:11:01,627 No, um, we never dated. 1348 01:11:03,330 --> 01:11:05,564 Also, I never dated Nicole Kidman. 1349 01:11:05,799 --> 01:11:08,334 She's just a friend. 1350 01:11:08,368 --> 01:11:10,770 She's not a friend. I never even met her before. 1351 01:11:11,004 --> 01:11:13,138 Sorry, I'm confused. 1352 01:11:13,173 --> 01:11:15,340 Why would you do that? 1353 01:11:15,641 --> 01:11:18,010 Because I'm an idiot. 1354 01:11:18,344 --> 01:11:21,847 And I wanted to impress you and Mike. 1355 01:11:22,315 --> 01:11:25,918 But anyway, I just wanted to call and apologize for that. 1356 01:11:26,152 --> 01:11:27,853 Okay. 1357 01:11:27,887 --> 01:11:30,789 Um, are you okay? 1358 01:11:31,024 --> 01:11:32,357 Yes. No, I'm good. 1359 01:11:32,658 --> 01:11:35,760 Everything's... everything's good. 1360 01:11:36,028 --> 01:11:37,662 Well, take care of yourself. 1361 01:11:37,697 --> 01:11:38,963 - And you. - Okay. 1362 01:11:39,198 --> 01:11:40,665 - Bye. - Bye. 1363 01:11:47,673 --> 01:11:49,073 I went, "What do we do?" 1364 01:11:49,374 --> 01:11:50,574 And I said, "You need some milk." 1365 01:11:50,608 --> 01:11:53,110 I couldn't understand, so I'm like, "No." 1366 01:11:53,145 --> 01:11:54,712 Get the milk out, it's expired. 1367 01:11:55,047 --> 01:11:57,014 I pour it, it's chunky, cottage cheese... 1368 01:11:57,216 --> 01:11:58,482 Disgusting. 1369 01:11:58,851 --> 01:12:00,885 Drink it and you'll feel better... 1370 01:12:04,823 --> 01:12:06,189 What is the bet to stay in the game? 1371 01:12:06,558 --> 01:12:08,892 - $2. - The bet is $2 to stay in the game? 1372 01:12:09,193 --> 01:12:12,028 - $2. - I... I'm out. 1373 01:12:12,364 --> 01:12:14,698 It's a shocker. Shocker that you folded. 1374 01:12:14,733 --> 01:12:18,168 Can I get my homeboys any more paella or patatas bravas? 1375 01:12:18,202 --> 01:12:20,036 Yes, thank you. 1376 01:12:21,906 --> 01:12:24,607 Hey, Stuart, it's me. 1377 01:12:24,742 --> 01:12:26,743 Jessica. 1378 01:12:26,777 --> 01:12:28,245 And, um... 1379 01:12:28,579 --> 01:12:30,213 I know we haven't spoken in a while, 1380 01:12:30,547 --> 01:12:32,983 but it is my birthday on Friday. 1381 01:12:33,251 --> 01:12:35,852 And I will be having drinks 1382 01:12:36,220 --> 01:12:37,653 in the same place as last year 1383 01:12:38,054 --> 01:12:40,456 where I'll be pretending I'm the same age as last year. 1384 01:12:40,724 --> 01:12:42,792 So if you'd like to come, 1385 01:12:43,093 --> 01:12:46,295 it would be great to see you. 1386 01:12:46,563 --> 01:12:48,598 Okay, I hope you're well. 1387 01:12:48,766 --> 01:12:50,065 Bye. 1388 01:12:56,940 --> 01:12:58,040 - Hey. - Hi. 1389 01:12:58,408 --> 01:13:00,642 - Happy birthday. - Oh, thank you. 1390 01:13:00,911 --> 01:13:02,444 - This is my girlfriend Kate. - Hi. 1391 01:13:02,478 --> 01:13:03,946 - Oh, it's so nice to meet you. - You, too. 1392 01:13:03,980 --> 01:13:06,081 - This is for you. It's from both of us. - Thank you. 1393 01:13:06,416 --> 01:13:08,417 - Both of us. See you later. - Okay. 1394 01:13:10,120 --> 01:13:11,352 - Hello. - Hi. 1395 01:13:11,621 --> 01:13:12,821 I am Wade's friend Stuart. 1396 01:13:13,122 --> 01:13:14,890 Oh, it's very nice to meet you. 1397 01:13:15,090 --> 01:13:16,425 Nice to... 1398 01:13:18,761 --> 01:13:20,529 - This is for you. Happy birthday. - Oh, thank you. 1399 01:13:20,930 --> 01:13:22,997 - Wow. - I think you'll be very pleased with this. 1400 01:13:23,299 --> 01:13:26,902 It is a gift card for 24-hour tech support. 1401 01:13:27,303 --> 01:13:29,870 Amazing, right? So if your computer crashes or if you lose any essays, 1402 01:13:30,306 --> 01:13:33,374 - you just holler and I'm there. - Thank you. That's very sweet. 1403 01:13:33,608 --> 01:13:35,109 - And cheap. - Very cheap. 1404 01:13:35,444 --> 01:13:37,211 - That's the other bonus point. - Yeah. 1405 01:13:37,612 --> 01:13:38,779 - The only thing it cost me was Rory's time. - Rory. 1406 01:13:38,814 --> 01:13:40,248 He worked night and day on it. 1407 01:13:40,615 --> 01:13:42,083 - How is Rory doing? - He's good. He's very good. 1408 01:13:42,318 --> 01:13:43,884 Oh, wow. I miss him. 1409 01:13:44,118 --> 01:13:45,653 So sorry to interrupt, 1410 01:13:46,120 --> 01:13:47,955 - but I need your help writing this text. - Are you okay? 1411 01:13:48,323 --> 01:13:50,958 - Yeah, I just need to fire my manager tonight. - Okay. 1412 01:13:52,494 --> 01:13:55,796 It is 10:30. Is that the time to do this? 1413 01:14:15,816 --> 01:14:17,249 - Hey. - Hey. 1414 01:14:17,284 --> 01:14:20,052 How's it going? Please, sit down. 1415 01:14:20,087 --> 01:14:22,889 - Sorry about earlier. - Oh, don't worry. 1416 01:14:23,323 --> 01:14:25,324 No, it's your birthday, you know? You've got stuff going on. 1417 01:14:25,659 --> 01:14:27,994 - How's college? Good? - Oh, I love it. 1418 01:14:28,028 --> 01:14:29,796 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1419 01:14:29,830 --> 01:14:33,199 And everybody's real respectful of me because I'm twice their age. 1420 01:14:33,500 --> 01:14:34,467 - Perfect. - So that's good. 1421 01:14:34,667 --> 01:14:35,834 That's good. 1422 01:14:39,873 --> 01:14:43,376 So how are you? Any models in your life at the moment? 1423 01:14:43,843 --> 01:14:46,912 No. Supermodels and I have mutually agreed to take some time apart. 1424 01:14:47,180 --> 01:14:48,680 - Wow. - Yeah. Yeah. 1425 01:14:48,848 --> 01:14:50,516 Good. 1426 01:14:50,884 --> 01:14:53,184 What about you? How's the search for the one? 1427 01:14:53,686 --> 01:14:57,689 Yeah, I've been on a couple of dates with this guy. 1428 01:14:57,724 --> 01:14:59,357 Josh. 1429 01:14:59,726 --> 01:15:03,094 He's very nice, but, eh, I'm not sure he's the one. 1430 01:15:03,129 --> 01:15:06,864 I'm not even sure I know what the one is. 1431 01:15:09,568 --> 01:15:11,802 I'm not convinced of your idea of the one. 1432 01:15:12,038 --> 01:15:13,371 - Oh, no? - No. 1433 01:15:13,739 --> 01:15:16,274 I don't think love is about, you know, fireworks 1434 01:15:16,708 --> 01:15:20,078 and, you know, just birds singing and the perfect person. 1435 01:15:20,112 --> 01:15:21,433 - That's a little depressing. - No, I don't know. 1436 01:15:21,434 --> 01:15:23,100 Do you know what I think it's about? Love? 1437 01:15:23,105 --> 01:15:24,314 - Hmm? - Percentages. 1438 01:15:24,716 --> 01:15:26,316 - Yeah, I've been thinking about this. - Percentages? 1439 01:15:26,351 --> 01:15:29,453 It's all about percentages. You know, like, all right, look at you and me, okay? 1440 01:15:29,487 --> 01:15:33,758 Now 18% of the time, you drove me crazy. 1441 01:15:34,092 --> 01:15:37,161 I'm talking fucking insane, all right? 1442 01:15:37,395 --> 01:15:39,129 But 82% of the time, 1443 01:15:39,164 --> 01:15:42,066 I had more fun with you than anyone ever. 1444 01:15:42,400 --> 01:15:43,833 You know, that was good enough for me. 1445 01:15:44,069 --> 01:15:45,202 So I... I don't know. 1446 01:15:45,236 --> 01:15:47,737 I think consider what your percentages are with Josh 1447 01:15:48,073 --> 01:15:50,140 and if you like the numbers, 1448 01:15:50,408 --> 01:15:53,043 give him a go. 1449 01:15:53,445 --> 01:15:55,745 Then again, what do I know? I mean, I came here with Wade. 1450 01:15:58,082 --> 01:15:59,849 Let's get shots! 1451 01:16:00,084 --> 01:16:01,184 Come on! 1452 01:16:01,218 --> 01:16:02,752 - Wanna have a shot? - No, I won't have a shot. 1453 01:16:03,087 --> 01:16:04,554 - Oh, come on. - No, no, no. 1454 01:16:04,889 --> 01:16:06,122 Please, guys, honestly, 1455 01:16:06,557 --> 01:16:08,091 one, I'm too old and B, I've got work tomorrow, honestly. 1456 01:16:08,125 --> 01:16:10,326 Well, my assistant's got work, I've got to take the credit. 1457 01:16:10,360 --> 01:16:12,861 So I've got to be there to check on him. 1458 01:16:13,130 --> 01:16:14,530 You go. It's your birthday. 1459 01:16:14,898 --> 01:16:16,232 - It's really good to see you. - Good to see you. 1460 01:16:16,567 --> 01:16:18,867 - Happy birthday. - Thank you. 1461 01:16:19,069 --> 01:16:20,636 Come on. 1462 01:17:17,626 --> 01:17:18,692 Stuart. 1463 01:17:21,196 --> 01:17:22,563 79%. 1464 01:17:22,597 --> 01:17:25,699 Josh makes you happy 79% of the time? 1465 01:17:25,967 --> 01:17:28,502 - I'd stick with that bloke. - No. 1466 01:17:28,803 --> 01:17:31,872 79% of the time I'm happy with you. 1467 01:17:56,730 --> 01:17:59,031 Wait, 79%? I gave you 82, woman. 1468 01:17:59,066 --> 01:18:02,034 That's because I'm better than you in every single way. 1469 01:18:02,403 --> 01:18:03,936 - Name three ways you're better than me. - More mature. 1470 01:18:04,171 --> 01:18:05,838 20/20 vision. 1471 01:18:06,173 --> 01:18:09,575 I am of normal human height. There's so many. 1472 01:18:11,244 --> 01:18:12,678 Yeah, fair enough. 1473 01:20:18,801 --> 01:20:23,447 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 114220

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